- 1. Curses! Get "em, boys!
- 2. Who are you?
- 3. I am the Robot Ninja...
- 4. and remember, kids,
drugs are not cool!
- 5. Oh Robot Ninja, you're my hero!
- 6. Courageous citizens like you are
the real heroes...
- 7. I
did not thee, little sprite.
- 8. Dost thou know the form that
thee just took?
- 9. Boy, this was the best
deal I ever made
- 10. letting NBC pick up the
- 11. to market this character as
a television show!
- 12. And to think that Lennie
Miller was so opposed to
- 13. having the show be a campy one
like the Batman show in the '60s!
- 14. Lennie Miller's just an
- 15. He hates the fact that
- 16. Robot Ninja as the new Batman.
- 17. Look... lookit that!
- 18. If only I could see you
without your mask...
- 19. Oh... oh-oh...
- 20. I wonder what Lennie thinks
about this week's episode...
- 21. Will the Robot Ninja escape the
evil clutches of the Weeping Forest?
- 22. Find out next week on TV 5...
- 23. same Ninja-time, same
- 24. Man, this show's better
than the old Batman!
- 25. I hear ya bud, I hear ya!
- 26. Is Russ in the editing suite?
- 27. Has anybody seen Russ?
- 28. Where's Russ?
- 29. Good evening, Mister Miller...
- 30. Give me a wipe...
- 31. hey, who pays you?
- 32. Do I pay you or does
this bozo pay you?
- 33. Lennie! Lennie, how you doin'?
- 34. I'm glad you— eh—made it!
- 35. Cut the shit, Rip. Get
to the point.
- 36. What's the deal with the
- 37. Uh, uh, Lennie, uh, I want you
to meet the show's director...
- 38. uh... uh, Joey McHeister...
- 39. and this is the show's producer
over here, this is Greg Lange...
- 40. Yeah, yeah, kid, it's
good to meet ya.
- 41. Man, gimme the wipe. The wipe.
- 42. Thank you.
- 43. Uh, so, uh Rip tells me you got
a little problem here
- 44. so why don't you cut the crap
and let's get right to it.
- 45. Uh, Lennie, c'mon, jump in!
- 46. Uh, tell these quacks what you think
about all this... tell "em yer side of it!
- 47. C'mon, Rip... you're supposed to
be the agent here...
- 48. I'm the comic-book artist,
- 49. Now look, McHeister,
we think that you should be a little more—
- 50. No, you look. Amsco Comics contracted
us to create this wonder show. Right Greg?
- 51. Yeah, whatever.
- 52. Right. Now look, we saw a lot of
potential with this character.
- 53. - Right. - mean it works
great in the comics...
- 54. and Lennie's the
hottest artist since
- 55. this clown who invented that
Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles crap.
- 56. But this Robot Ninja...
- 57. it ain't reality! Right Greg?
- 58. - Yeah, whatever.
- You guys don't give a shit about this character...
- 59. not one of you bastards.
- 60. Now listen, Miller... our
contract allows us a
- 61. certain amount of creative
leeway with your character.
- 62. Rip, tell your boy here, we've got the hottest
TV show since Batman on our hands here!
- 63. - Well I think that—
- This is bullshit... all of this!
- 64. Do what you want with
- 65. fuckin' cut out his guts for
television. See if I care.
- 66. I'll show you what the Robot
Ninja is really about.
- 67. Do what you wanna do in your
funny book, Miller!
- 68. Your publisher loves
Robot Ninja our way!
- 69. Whatever...
- 70. We'll do lunch.
- 71. Um, great show, Mister Miller.
- 72. Can I get you anything else?
- 73. No thank you. It was very good.
- 74. Well... ready to go?
- 75. Are you kidding? I've been
waiting for this night for a year now.
- 76. Let's go!
- 77. Be right back... gotta
pay the bill.
- 78. I'll be here.
- 79. Thank you for dinner.
- 80. Now for the dessert!
- 81. Susan!
- 82. Get 'er Revelle...
teach that slut!
- 83. You ain't much of a man, man...
- 84. Leave him alone, you animal...
- 85. What he's gettin' ain't nothin'
compared to what I'm gonna do to you!
- 86. No...
- 87. Let's see what kind of fun I can
have with you, sweetie...
- 88. Goddamn it, not again!
- 89. What the fuck, Sculley?
- 90. It's Revelle's fuckin'
radiator repair again!
- 91. Watch it, fucker! I'm gonna
pile drive your ass!
- 92. I told you I ain't no fuckin'
- 93. Alright, cut the shit.
- 94. Sculley, get out and fix the
fucker and let's get the fuck home.
- 95. Dammit!
- 96. Shit!
- 97. Hello, yes, I want to report a
- 98. So that's the way it's done, eh,
- 99. What the fuck? Who the
hell is that?
- 100. Let's get these two
- 101. Hey, where you guys takin' them?
I'm almost through—
- 102. Take a look over there,
- 103. Aw, shit.
- 104. Stop it!
- 105. Go fuck yourself, asshole!
- 106. Sculley, let's fix the van and
get outta here...
- 107. Don'tdoit... don't do it,
- 108. Leave her alone, you son of a
- 109. Yeah!
- 110. Run, Susan, run!
- 111. C'mere, ya son of a bitch...
- 112. Bastard!
- 113. Son of a bitch!
- 114. I showed that fuckhead...
- 115. Yeah, I got our hero-boy, too...
- 116. Let's go boy, we've had our fun!
- 117. Move it, boy, the
- 118. No...
- 119. No, dammit...
- 120. Dispatch, this is Hickox.
- 121. I've got three bodies...
- 122. two dead, one male, one female.
- 123. One alive, male.
- 124. Send an ambulance.
- 125. You are very lucky you didn't
get much more than
- 126. just some bumps and bruises,
- 127. Now... what the hell possessed
you to help those poor people?
- 128. You should have seen them,
- 129. it was the worst thing
I've ever seen.
- 130. Ah, yes, so Officer
Hickox told me.
- 131. You're very lucky to be alive,
- 132. It scared the shit out of me,
- 133. I should hope so. Now get in.
- 134. Dumkauf artists.
- 135. This is gonna be the one, doc.
- 136. I'm gonna use this thing as the
new Robot Ninja story.
- 137. That sounds very good, Leonard.
- 138. Yeah, I'll show those
boneheads at the network
- 139. how to make Robot Ninja work.
- 140. I'm sure you will, Leonard.
I'm sure you will.
- 141. "Don't do it..."
- 142. "don't do it, hero-man..."
- 143. "Run, Susan, run!"
- 144. "Leave her alone!"
- 145. "Let's go boy, we've
had our fun...!"
- 146. Well, Mister Coleslaw...
- 147. This, uh, Bayou-Man comic book
certainly is an interesting concept.
- 148. You really think so? It took me
hours to get it this good!
- 149. Mmm. Well, it certainly
looks like it.
- 150. Yeah, it's, uh, it's not bad.
- 151. But you see, Marty...
- 152. the problem is, our star artist,
- 153. has a character
- 154. And uh, I really hate to
tell you this, but...
- 155. I'm afraid he's going to have to
take priority over you—
- 156. No, no dammit!
- 157. Everywhere I go it's Leonard
Miller this! Leonard Miller that!
- 158. Leonard Miller can suck sheep shit
through a Crazy Straw for all I care!
- 159. Do you see these hands?
- 160. These hands are insured for
ten — count it —
- 161. ten thousand dollars
and I will not—
- 162. Mister Coleslaw, are
- 163. I'm fine...
- 164. and I'm leaving!
- 165. Here's the proofs for the new issue
of Lizard Boy comics, Mister Kane...
- 166. Thank you.
- 167. Have you seen these?
- 168. Robot Ninja, huh?
- 169. It doesn't look like
the TV show!
- 170. That's the problem.
- 171. Miss Barbeau, would you please
call Leonard Miller on the phone...
- 172. right away.
- 173. You got it, chief!
- 174. Holy shemp, I wish I had.
- 175. What the hell is this
- 176. Yes.
- 177. Mister Kane... Lennie
Miller on line one.
- 178. Thank you, Miss Barbeau.
- 179. Hello Lennie!
- 180. How are things in Ridgway?
- 181. Just fine, Stanley,
what's the problem?
- 182. Did you get the new pages of the
Robot Ninja comic?
- 183. Yes, Leonard. That is
- 184. I thought we'd agreed to
do the new series
- 185. as an adaptation of the
- 186. It's getting great press,
- 187. "Yeah, well I had a talk about
that the other night
- 188. with my agent and the show's
director and producer."
- 189. We... didn't see eye-to-eye on
the show's concept.
- 190. I told them that you both can fuck
up the show as much as you want
- 191. but the comic's still my baby.
That's our contract, remember?
- 192. "Yes, Lennie, of course..."
- 193. Look...
- 194. how about if we release this new
story as a graphic novel.
- 195. - It'll sell more copies and I—
- "Bullshitsky, Stan."
- 196. You're not rakin' me over
the coals this time.
- 197. You're printin' this damned
story or I fuckin' quit.
- 198. You got that?
- 199. Yes... yes, Len, I'll print it.
- 200. But I guarantee you, when your
damned contract expires this May
- 201. we're going to have a
- 202. Why, I had an artist in
here ten minutes ago
- 203. just as talented as you
- 204. and he wants to do a new
- 205. and I—
- 206. Damned artists.
- 207. Robot Ninja...
- 208. Damn publishers.
- 209. "... Small village of
Ridgway this day."
- 210. Late last night, a witness saw
what appeared to be two men
- 211. brutalize and rape a young woman
at the Ridgway Plaza
- 212. "... on the corner of Cleveland
and Mogadore Roads."
- 213. The police have no
leads on this...
- 214. the fifth such brutal crime in
Ridgway this month.
- 215. Next we'll have Dan with weather
- 216. "and then The Bud will recap the
Browns' loss at the stadium..."
- 217. Dammit...
- 218. Doc!
- 219. What is it, Leonard?
- 220. Can't you see I'm playing "Lords
of the Rising Sun"?
- 221. I've almost got this Ninja beat!
- 222. Ha-ha! I got through it!
- 223. What is it now, Leonard?
- 224. You've gotta help me, doc.
- 225. I just got this
great idea today!
- 226. I want you to build me a suit...
- 227. a real one, not some
- 228. Robot Ninja? What the hell for?
- 229. I just need it. It's gotta be
built like a tank...
- 230. padding, plating, the
whole nine yards!
- 231. You want to be the Robot Ninja?
- 232. Who better to fight the thugs
that killed that couple?
- 233. Especially that bitch
that kicked my ass.
- 234. I figure the costume alone could
kinda freak 'em out.
- 235. And if I catch 'em off guard
with this outfit
- 236. maybe I can corral "em long
enough to get the police there.
- 237. How the hell do you think
Batman got started?
- 238. Yes, well, but Batman
was a rich man
- 239. in his alter-ego if I
- 240. Don't worry about that,
- 241. Buy whatever you want.
- 242. I just got paid last week from
royalties on that idiot TV show.
- 243. I'm an inventor, not a
- 244. Just like this?
- 245. Alright, Lennie.
- 246. For you, I'll do it.
- 247. Thanks, man.
- 248. I knew I could count on you.
- 249. Crazy little man.
- 250. Wellll
- 251. ] Late last night a witness
saw what appeared to be two men
- 252. brutalize and rape a young woman
at the Ridgway Plaza
- 253. on the corner of Cleveland
and Mogadore Roads.
- 254. The police have no leads on this, the fifth
such brutal crime in Ridgway this month.
- 255. Well, Leonard? Is
there a problem?
- 256. Almost there!
- 257. Here I come!
- 258. Well, how do I look?
- 259. And there's one more feature
here that I've added.
- 260. There. Now try to speak.
- 261. Go ahead.
- 262. Hello, Goodknight...
- 263. shit, this is great!
- 264. Hold it you thugs, stop there!
- 265. It's a vocal disguiser that one of the
computer companies wanted me to design.
- 266. It's just a prototype,
but I think it will suffice for your needs.
- 267. This is fantastic, Good knight!
- 268. How can I possibly lose with all
this shit on my side?
- 269. I feel invincible!
- 270. Yes, well, let's hope so.
- 271. Well, Leonard, be careful.
- 272. I'm going to bed, it has
been a long day.
- 273. Yeah, I guess it's time for me
to get out on the prowl.
- 274. You mean to tell me you're
going out tonight?
- 275. Sure! The longer I wait
- 276. the less chance I have of
catching those creeps in the act.
- 277. Please be careful.
- 278. I really think you should get
some sleep before you do this.
- 279. Naw, I'll be fine.
- 280. I'm used to no sleep!
- 281. Well, alright. Good night, then.
- 282. Good night, Goodknight.
- 283. Very funny.
- 284. I'll just get my stuff and go!
- 285. "Fine!"
- 286. Let's go, clerk...
all your bread.
- 287. Now.
- 288. Sculley, go start up
the escape pod.
- 289. Again?
- 290. Just do it!
- 291. Hurry up, Christopher.
- 292. Take the tapes back in and
let's get back home.
- 293. Don't snap at me, Christine...
- 294. it's not my fault mom forgot to
take these movies back today.
- 295. Just go, alright. I
have to get back.
- 296. George is supposed to be calling
me any minute now.
- 297. All right...
- 298. Cameron, in reference to
the Miller case...
- 299. check Video World across from
the Ridgway Plaza.
- 300. I saw a black van as I drove by
- 301. matching the description of the
one involved in that incident.
- 302. I'm tied up with this code four
down on Nine-Mile and Middlevale.
- 303. Ten-four, I've got an accident
report to finish here
- 304. and I'll be right there. E.T.A.
is ten minutes.
- 305. This is great, I cracked a nail!
- 306. Thanks, man...
- 307. I knew there was somethin' I
liked about Video World!
- 308. And we are outta here!
- 309. What is that dumb kid doin' now?
- 310. Oh shit!
- 311. Sculley, what the fuck
are you doing?
- 312. Who in the fuck?
- 313. No false heroics, man!
- 314. Oh, man...
- 315. Heh... I'm gonna have some fun
with her tonight, man!
- 316. C'mon, baby, let's see
them big knockers!
- 317. I wouldn't if I were you, man!
- 318. You got some kinda death wish,
- 319. I am the Robot Ninja,
and I kick ass...
- 320. Like hell!
- 321. Revelle?
- 322. REVELLE!
- 323. You son-of-a-bitch fucker!
- 324. Get the hell out of here... now!
- 325. Christopher, wake up!
- 326. I did it!
- 327. I did it!
- 328. What the hell is this, Leonard?
- 329. Good morning, Goodknight.
- 330. You killed that boy!
- 331. He was just a punk kid...
he deserved it.
- 332. No, no, not the punk...
that little boy!
- 333. Oh God.
- 334. Dead is Buddy Revelle, age 23
- 335. and Christopher Curtis, age 13.
- 336. Ridgway Police are
actively pursuing this
- 337. masked vigilante's arrest
- 338. in connection with these deaths.
- 339. I didn't kill him...
I saved him!
- 340. It was that female thug, she
tossed him to the ground!
- 341. That's not how I see it...
- 342. and neither do the cops.
- 343. And why did you take a bunch of
drugs from my medicine cabinet?
- 344. I had to stay awake...
- 345. I had to get those guys!
- 346. Well no more...
where's the uniform?
- 347. No, you're not taking it! I
have to get the girl!
- 348. Get the girl... get her like you
got Christopher Curtis?
- 349. I don't think so, Leonard...
- 350. No, you're not taking it...
not until I'm done.
- 351. You are done.
- 352. No, you should have seen me,
I was great!
- 353. Oh, I'm sure, now
where's the suit?
- 354. Goodknight, I'm sorry.
- 355. I-—
- 356. Go tell it to the cops.
- 357. Fuck you too.
- 358. Quiet night.
- 359. Yeah... a little too quiet.
- 360. C'mere, you son of a bitch!
- 361. You're going to end up
like your friend...
- 362. Not tonight, Ninja-man...
- 363. it's our turn to slice
and dice tonight.
- 364. Kill that fucker!
- 365. Tear his fucking heart out!
- 366. Teach him the way it is!
- 367. This is for Revelle, you
- 368. You're a dead mother
- 369. Jesus!
- 370. Shithead!
- 371. What kind of Robot Ninja
screams in pain?
- 372. Yeah... maybe he ain't like on
the TV show, eh boss?
- 373. Yeah... maybe he ain't.
- 374. Let's see if robots bleed.
- 375. Well... what have we here?
- 376. It don't look like no
robot to me.
- 377. Sure don't. Hold him.
- 378. You got it, babe!
- 379. Hold still... I'm tryin'
some surgery here!
- 380. Hold still, fucker!
- 381. Fucker! Fucker! Fucker!
- 382. C'mon, let's take him
home and kill him!
- 383. Oh... my nuts!
- 384. He's getting away!
- 385. Forget it, I'll get him!
- 386. Oh, shit! Not the cops again!
- 387. Get up, Sculley...
- 388. ya big dickhead.
- 389. Hold it!
- 390. Don't move!
- 391. Dispatch, this is Cameron.
- 392. Please send assistance to the
corner of Cleveland and Mogadore.
- 393. Two men fleeing in black van...
- 394. license number North-
- 395. Over.
- 396. Well, let's see where
hero-man goes, eh?
- 397. Goodknig ht!
- 398. GOODKNIGHT?
- 399. We gonna tag him now?
- 400. No no, let him get rested up.
- 401. I don't feel like any
more shit tonight.
- 402. We'll come back in the morning.
- 403. Doctor Hubert Goodknight, eh?
- 404. We'll have to pay a visit to the
- 405. try and catch the fucker out of
his little playsuit.
- 406. "... and, no surprise,
there's more trouble in Ridgway tonight."
- 407. Police report that the
- 408. as the Robot Ninja
- 409. we told you about that
story last night—
- 410. is now responsible for
four more deaths.
- 411. "We go live to Russ Mazzola at
the scene of this tragedy."
- 412. Melanie, it's massacre central
down here at Ridgway Plaza
- 413. where the Robot Ninja vigilante
has claimed at least two more victims.
- 414. - We've got two more over here!
- Two more deaths are being blamed on resistance of arrest.
- 415. The police say there is going to be a
citywide manhunt for this vigilante tonight.
- 416. We have an eyewitness to the entire
massacre, his name is Bert Ralston.
- 417. - Bert, tell us what
happened tonight. - Huh?
- 418. - Tell us what happened, in your
own words. - Oh. Okay.
- 419. Well this guy comes up, see... he's
about six, six-one, uh, blond hair...
- 420. wore this kind of like metal uh,
uh, mask, across his face
- 421. with a visor in the, in the,
over the eyes...
- 422. it was kind of silver,
kind of like a bondage-style welder's mask
- 423. and he had a black outfit
with this, uh...
- 424. kind of like a pajama
outifit with a...
- 425. a red sash, and those Chinese
slippers on his feet—
- 426. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what
- 427. Well I don't know, I
didn't see much.
- 428. This is Russ Mazzola, Live
Action-Cam 5 in Ridgway.
- 429. Back to you at the studio,
- 430. Hello. Goodknight here.
- 431. I'm out of town until
- 432. Leave a message at the tone.
- 433. "I lost... I should have won"
- 434. Who the hell?
- 435. Leonard...
- 436. Dammit.
- 437. Hiya, doc...
- 438. have a nice fall!
- 439. C'mon, we got us a Robot
Ninja to disarm.
- 440. Let's do it.
- 441. Hey Sanchez... check this.
- 442. Y'know the doc's given us no end
of trouble 'cause of this here suit.
- 443. Y'know, I think you're right.
- 444. I think the doc deserves some
- 445. punishment for the
hassles he's given us.
- 446. Now you got the idea.
- 447. Lookit that...
- 448. the doc's ready to play.
- 449. We about killed you
- 450. we would've if it weren't for
the pigs gettin' in the way.
- 451. We're killin'you tonight, though...
and you'll end your stint as Robot Ninja.
- 452. No, no, it's not me. I'm not
the Robot Ninja!
- 453. Oh no? Then why did we follow
him here last night? Huh?
- 454. I just—
- 455. built it for a friend...
- 456. Bullshit!
- 457. If that's true, then
where is he?
- 458. TELL ME!
- 459. NOW!
- 460. Never...
- 461. go to hell!
- 462. I already been there...
- 463. and ll didn't like the weather.
- 464. Sculley... gun!
- 465. Well, I gotta go.
- 466. But let me not be so rude as
to just kill and go.
- 467. I should really say goodbye.
- 468. Good night, Goodknight!
- 469. Nobody fucks with Gody Sanchez!
- 470. Alright.
- 471. Let's get rid of him.
- 472. It's time...
- 473. to play.
- 474. "Good knight?"
- 475. Goodknight?
- 476. Goodknight?
- 477. Goodknight?
- 478. Goodknight...
- 479. Come in Hickox, this is Cameron.
- 480. Go ahead.
- 481. Yeah, uh, a man reported a
sighting of the suspect vehicle
- 482. about half an hour ago heading toward
the old junkyard on the edge of town.
- 483. Uh, the man said something about
a couple of punk kids
- 484. harassing some of the students down at the,
uh, high school dance.
- 485. Over.
- 486. Good God!
- 487. I was gonna take a run down to the
junkyard area and check things out.
- 488. Sound okay?
- 489. Hickox, do you copy?
- 490. Uh, Hickox, does that
sound okay, sir?
- 491. Yes, Cameron, yes!
- 492. Get to the junkyard now,
I'll meet you there!
- 493. I'm not going to lose...
- 494. So... I get to have the
pleasure of killing you.
- 495. Well that's too bad.
- 496. I wanted Sanchez to
have that fun.
- 497. Oh well.
- 498. I am the Robot Ninja...
- 499. Not for long you ain't...
- 500. Fucker!
- 501. Ya fucking cut me, man!
- 502. and I kick ass...
- 503. Sculley? SCULLEY!
- 504. Die, copper!
- 505. Shit...
- 506. what an idiot move!
- 507. No fuckin' around this time,
- 508. I agree...
- 509. You son of a bitch...
- 510. We'll meet again, Robot Ninja...
- 511. Just... like...
- 512. I planned...
- 513. Miller?
- 514. Open the door, it's
- 515. Miller!
- 516. Copy, Mister Buckshot.
- 517. Uh, thank you.
- 518. Well, son, how's it look?
- 519. Oh, just fine, chief, just fine!
- 520. Good work, son. Let's get
this ready to go
- 521. SO you can go back to this
month's issue of Bayou-Man, huh?
- 522. Good work, boy.
- 523. Yes sir, Mister Hammarstrom.
- 524. We'll be shipping you those new
Robot Ninja books next week.
- 525. Yes, that's true. These will
be the last ones.
- 526. Uh-huh. Thank you.
- 527. Another request for the
- 528. We've already prebooked more
copies than DC's Dark Knight series!
- 529. I wonder what kind of sales
- 530. are going to have that
they've ordered so many!
- 531. Don't worry. Lennie's always
been a big draw!
- 532. Hey, you gonna buy that?
- 533. Yeah, I think so.
- 534. You better, Bobby, it's gonna be
worth some money soon.
- 535. Ah, managed to get yourself
one of these, eh?
- 536. Yeah, what's the big deal
with those anyway?
- 537. The artist, Lennie Miller,
killed himself about a month ago.
- 538. Shot himself in the head.
- 539. Didn't stop the publisher from
crankin' it out real quick, though, did it?
- 540. These are the most violently
graphic comics ever released.
- 541. They're only printing a few
thousand of them.
- 542. Funny, most of it's not
- 543. Not very graphic, either.
- 544. Okay, thanks.
- 545. Have fun.
- 546. Wow, this guy's cool.
- 547. Sure wish I could be him.
- 548. Not me... look at the ending!
- 549. What a way to end a comic book!