1. It is considered useful
Copy !req
2. and enlightening
and therapeutic
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3. to think about death
for a few minutes a day.
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4. What actually happens
to my physical remains
Copy !req
5. is of zero interest to me.
Copy !req
6. I don't want anybody seeing
my body, I don't want anybody—
Copy !req
7. I don't want a party.
Copy !req
8. "Reported dead."
Copy !req
9. Unless it could provide
entertainment value to—
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10. I mean, in a perverse
or subversive way, you know.
Copy !req
11. I mean, if you could throw me
into a wood chipper and punt—
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12. you know, spray me into Harrods,
Copy !req
13. - you know, at, uh,
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14. you know,
middle of the rush hour,
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15. that would be pretty epic.
Copy !req
16. I wouldn't mind being
remembered in that way.
Copy !req
17. What the fuck
am I doing here?
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18. I shall explain.
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19. One minute I was standing
next to a deep fryer,
Copy !req
20. and the next, I was watching
the sun set over the Sahara.
Copy !req
21. I realized that one thing
led directly to the other.
Copy !req
22. Had I not taken
a dead-end dishwashing job,
Copy !req
23. I would not have become a cook.
Copy !req
24. Had I not become a cook, I
would never have become a chef.
Copy !req
25. Had I not become a chef,
I never would've been able
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26. to fuck up so spectacularly.
Copy !req
27. Had I not known what
it was like to really fuck up,
Copy !req
28. that obnoxious but wildly
successful memoir I wrote
Copy !req
29. wouldn't have been
half as interesting.
Copy !req
30. And I'm not gonna tell you here
how to live your life.
Copy !req
31. I'm just saying, I guess,
that I got very lucky.
Copy !req
32. You're probably gonna
find out about it anyway,
Copy !req
33. so here's a little
preemptive truth telling.
Copy !req
34. There's no happy ending.
Copy !req
35. He committed
suicide, the fucking asshole.
Copy !req
36. How are you gonna make this?
Copy !req
37. Is it— is this gonna— I mean—
Copy !req
38. Of course what you want
to talk about,
Copy !req
39. that's kind of where the gossip
goes, that's kind of—
Copy !req
40. But it's not really
what you want to make.
Copy !req
41. No, I want to make a film about
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42. why he was... who he was.
Copy !req
43. You know.
Copy !req
44. I don't know.
That's why I'm here.
Copy !req
45. Do you know what I mean?
Copy !req
46. That's why I'm here.
Copy !req
47. Hi. This is Tony at Les Halles,
411 Park Avenue South,
Copy !req
48. for delivery Monday please.
Copy !req
49. I need one Spanish onion,
one loose carrot,
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50. two shallot unpeeled,
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51. one case frozen fava bean
and one case miel de provence.
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52. That'll do it. Thank you.
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53. Where is my fucking fish?
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54. I would never be late.
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55. My cooks would never be late.
Copy !req
56. How can the fish guy be late?
Copy !req
57. It's why all chefs are drunks.
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58. It's because we don't understand
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59. why the world doesn't work
like our kitchens.
Copy !req
60. - Oh, hold on.
If you guys are hun—
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61. It's just baba ghanoush. It's—
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62. I mean, it's not
a very nice display,
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63. - I know Tony.
Cool.
Copy !req
64. Thanks, baby.
Copy !req
65. - What would you like?
- Um...
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66. - Apple juice.
- Apple juice? Apple juice?
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67. Or cranberry. I don't care.
Whatever we have more of.
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68. Happiness is a fresh pack.
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69. First thing in the morning.
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70. I mean, before I brush my teeth.
Copy !req
71. I mean, I roll out of bed,
light a cigarette,
Copy !req
72. stumble into this room,
and, uh, I start,
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73. uh, I start writing immediately.
Copy !req
74. I always use language
to get out of trouble.
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75. You know,
I found at an early age,
Copy !req
76. if I made everybody
in the class laugh,
Copy !req
77. that was power.
Copy !req
78. I came from a household
with a lot of books.
Copy !req
79. In fact, the first book
I remember reading was
Copy !req
80. a book called
Why Johnny Can't Read,
Copy !req
81. which I stole from my mother.
Copy !req
82. She was anticipating
that I would have
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83. a difficulty reading because
I was already exhibiting
Copy !req
84. antisocial tendencies.
Copy !req
85. Uh, I pinched the book and,
uh, basically taught myself
Copy !req
86. to read, uh, by kindergarten.
Copy !req
87. And then, you know,
my early heroes
Copy !req
88. were, uh, musicians
and-and writers.
Copy !req
89. The idea that you could
have adventures,
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90. no matter how antisocial,
and then make them
Copy !req
91. somehow legitimate by writing
something beautiful about them,
Copy !req
92. that concept took
an early hold on me.
Copy !req
93. I wasn't serious enough
about anything
Copy !req
94. to actually do any writing
until '93.
Copy !req
95. But, you know, when I was given
the opportunity, I did it,
Copy !req
96. and, you know, kept doing it.
Copy !req
97. The whole business
fills me with terror, frankly.
Copy !req
98. Hey.
Copy !req
99. How are you doing, man?
Copy !req
100. - You guys know each other
by now. -Yes.
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101. Let me see if Rocco's over.
Copy !req
102. What was it about Tony
with big knives?
Copy !req
103. They were never sharp enough.
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104. You know, he's—
he'd just always—
Copy !req
105. When he came over
for Thanksgiving, uh,
Copy !req
106. I was gonna carve the turkey,
and then he took over.
Copy !req
107. He was very short with me about
Copy !req
108. how I wasn't taking care
of my knives.
Copy !req
109. - Hey. -Tony saw you
when you were just born.
Copy !req
110. Remember that?
Copy !req
111. My relationship with Tony
Copy !req
112. has always been as a writer.
Copy !req
113. He was such a powerful writer
right from the start.
Copy !req
114. He was on business in Tokyo
for the first time.
Copy !req
115. And he was writing me
a series of emails.
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116. He was back in his room,
and he-he did
Copy !req
117. one of those bursts.
Copy !req
118. "The jet lag
wouldn't let me sleep,
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119. "so I crashed late
and rose early,
Copy !req
120. "plunging blindly down
dark streets at all hours.
Copy !req
121. "The streets were unbelievably
dense with pedestrians,
Copy !req
122. "people hanging around,
flashing neon,
Copy !req
123. "flapping banners,
more screaming signs,
Copy !req
124. "pimpy-looking young men in
suits and patent leather shoes
Copy !req
125. "surrounded by
dye-blonde Asian women
Copy !req
126. "in thigh-high boots
and micro-mini skirts.
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127. "No one, and I mean no one,
would meet my eye
Copy !req
128. "with a direct gaze.
Copy !req
129. "I was the quiet American,
the ugly American,
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130. "the hungry ghost,
searching and searching
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131. for whatever came next."
Copy !req
132. I loved it. I loved it,
Copy !req
133. and my wife Karen,
who was a book publisher,
Copy !req
134. was in the living room
breastfeeding the baby.
Copy !req
135. I printed out the email
Copy !req
136. and I went,
"Karen, you have to read this."
Copy !req
137. Am I allowed to curse?
Copy !req
138. Does anybody curse
when they talk about this?
Copy !req
139. I read it and I just went,
"That is fucking awesome."
Copy !req
140. I was like, "Okay,
Copy !req
141. I'm gonna make him an offer
Copy !req
142. basically he can't
fucking refuse."
Copy !req
143. He came back
and then we sat down.
Copy !req
144. I said, "So Joel tells me,
Copy !req
145. you know,
you have a lot of stories."
Copy !req
146. And he goes,
"I have so many stories.
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147. I'm so excited to tell them."
Copy !req
148. He said, "I already have
a title for it."
Copy !req
149. I said, "What's the title?"
Copy !req
150. And he said,
"Kitchen Confidential."
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151. And I said,
"I love it. Let's do it."
Copy !req
152. What do you think
about Tony Bourdain anyway?
Copy !req
153. Yeah, what do you
think about that guy?
Copy !req
154. He's cool. Huh?
Copy !req
155. It was like,
"Will you write this book?"
Copy !req
156. "Yes."
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157. "Can you write it
in eight months?"
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158. "You're damn right I will."
Copy !req
159. You know, you should talk
Copy !req
160. to Tony's agent,
Copy !req
161. Kim Witherspoon.
Copy !req
162. I don't think
Tony was afraid of failure,
Copy !req
163. and that was hard-wired.
Copy !req
164. He was the kind of person
who thought,
Copy !req
165. "Well, you know, what the fuck?
Copy !req
166. Let's just try it
and see how it turns out."
Copy !req
167. Anthony Bourdain,
who has worked as a chef
Copy !req
168. for 28 years, reveals
some surprising and disturbing
Copy !req
169. trade secrets in a new book
calledKitchen Confidential.
Copy !req
170. Chef Anthony says the truth
Copy !req
171. about bread in a restaurant,
Copy !req
172. how you should prepare
your meat when you order it,
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173. and also the truth about fish
Copy !req
174. could make you sick.
Copy !req
175. I was in a cranky mood
after my last restaurant closed
Copy !req
176. and, uh, felt no reason
not to tell the truth about
Copy !req
177. a business I both love and,
uh, have mixed emotions about.
Copy !req
178. Kitchen Confidential is a memoir
Copy !req
179. of Tony's life in the kitchen
and the salty adventures
Copy !req
180. that he had with his cooks.
Copy !req
181. It was kind of lawless.
Copy !req
182. You know, a lot was broken,
as Tony used to say.
Copy !req
183. Mr. Bourdain is the
executive chef at Les Halles.
Copy !req
184. He found success
Copy !req
185. and a full-blown heroin habit
at an early age.
Copy !req
186. I had a dope problem,
a cocaine problem,
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187. but by '88, I pretty much
cleaned up my act.
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188. The dietary supplement
that every chef needs.
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189. I take around ten
of these a day.
Copy !req
190. It's an aspirin/Tylenol mix.
Copy !req
191. Call 'em crunchies.
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192. Let me take you
on a notional joyride
Copy !req
193. through our menu tonight.
Copy !req
194. We have grilled salmon
with sorrel sauce.
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195. Veal kidneys.
Copy !req
196. These kidneys are
really good, by the way.
Copy !req
197. Those of you into water sports
will find much to love.
Copy !req
198. From the first time
I met him, I remember thinking,
Copy !req
199. "Oh, wow, you're, like, tall
and handsome and funny.
Copy !req
200. "But you're kind of a big nerd.
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201. "You're nerding out
on everything,
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202. and you're a little awkward,"
Copy !req
203. and I love that about him.
Copy !req
204. "At Les Halles,
life goes on as always,
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205. "the same crew showing up
on time every day.
Copy !req
206. - "Eddy,
Copy !req
207. "Carlos and Omar,
Isidoro and Angel.
Copy !req
208. "They're still with me,
and I hope they stay with me.
Copy !req
209. "My bosses, however,
when they read this,
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210. "will really prove themselves
patrons of the arts
Copy !req
211. if they don't can me
right away."
Copy !req
212. So you
didn't fire him?
Copy !req
213. I didn't fire him.
Copy !req
214. I didn't know it
was being written.
Copy !req
215. I didn't know
it was going to be published.
Copy !req
216. Uh, one day, I arrived
at the restaurant,
Copy !req
217. and I just said,
"What happened?"
Copy !req
218. You're fucking kidding me.
Copy !req
219. I was told today that on, I
guess, the 12th of this month,
Copy !req
220. it'll be number seven
on the TimesBest Seller list.
Copy !req
221. 'Cause it was on 20,
wasn't it? And then, uh...
Copy !req
222. I mean, I'm getting
congratulatory calls,
Copy !req
223. and they're telling me
I have a best seller.
Copy !req
224. Uh, really, it's scary.
Copy !req
225. No, it's exciting.
It's wonderful.
Copy !req
226. Yeah, I just—
Copy !req
227. Anything that happens
beyond that door
Copy !req
228. - I'm suspicious of.
Copy !req
229. He was always
behind in the rent,
Copy !req
230. always behind his,
you know, payments
Copy !req
231. and-and-and living
from paycheck to paycheck,
Copy !req
232. like in a pressure cooker.
Copy !req
233. So when there was this
opportunity, he-he was ready.
Copy !req
234. "By the time I was 43,
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235. "I really thought that I had
had all my great adventures,
Copy !req
236. "that the entertainment
and excitement segment
Copy !req
237. of the program was long over."
Copy !req
238. What's up?
- Thank you.
Copy !req
239. That was cool.
Copy !req
240. "I was comfortably ensconced
Copy !req
241. "in secure digs with a wife
who still remarkably
Copy !req
242. found me to be amusing
on occasion."
Copy !req
243. What? What are you doing?
You're giving interviews?
Copy !req
244. What are you— you media hoe.
Copy !req
245. "I had a job I loved in
Copy !req
246. "a successful restaurant, and I
was alive, for Christ's sakes.
Copy !req
247. I was still around."
Copy !req
248. I don't cook at home.
Copy !req
249. I-I just— I'm too, uh—
I would love to tell you,
Copy !req
250. you know, I go home and-and cook
Copy !req
251. fabulous, uh, little snackies
for-for my wife.
Copy !req
252. - I would be lying
if I told you that.
Copy !req
253. It's more like,
"Honey, call out for Chinese."
Copy !req
254. "There are, it turns out,
a million ways
Copy !req
255. "to say 'Suck my dick.'
Copy !req
256. "And like
all great performances,
Copy !req
257. "it's about timing,
tone and delivery,
Copy !req
258. kind of like cooking."
Copy !req
259. - Thanks.
Copy !req
260. - You know, all the TV chefs are
Copy !req
261. so cuddly and adorable,
you know.
Copy !req
262. Maybe I'm the— sort of like
the antidote or something.
Copy !req
263. - You know? I don't know.
Copy !req
264. For me, it happened overnight.
Copy !req
265. I mean, one minute,
I was a cook at a restaurant,
Copy !req
266. and not a particularly
great one, and the next,
Copy !req
267. I was an author,
and it was literally overnight.
Copy !req
268. It fell in my lap.
Copy !req
269. Joining me now
is Anthony Bourdain,
Copy !req
270. author of Kitchen Confidential.
Copy !req
271. Anthony Bourdain...
Copy !req
272. Chef Anthony Bourdain...
Copy !req
273. Here's Anthony Bourdain.
Copy !req
274. What-what do you think
about these guys
Copy !req
275. - like Emeril Lagasse and those
guys on the Food Network? -Wow.
Copy !req
276. Y-You're asking me to, you know,
Copy !req
277. kick Santa Claus in the crotch
on television.
Copy !req
278. - I mean...
Copy !req
279. My life gets
more and more ridiculous.
Copy !req
280. Apparently, Brad Pitt will be
playing me in a movie.
Copy !req
281. Yeah, guess what's,
uh, tomorrow.
Copy !req
282. What's tomorrow?
- Oprah.
Copy !req
283. No! You're kidding me!
Copy !req
284. This is Anthony Bourdain.
Copy !req
285. His book Kitchen Confidential
Copy !req
286. is a New York TimesBest Seller.
Copy !req
287. I was born to cook.
Copy !req
288. I loved satisfying
people's appetites.
Copy !req
289. Next, I'll be, uh, doing
the lambada with Emeril.
Copy !req
290. Bam! Just a little...
Copy !req
291. I'd hate myself.
Copy !req
292. Thanks.
Copy !req
293. Oh! Whoa!
Copy !req
294. - Ah.
- Tony Bourdain rocks!
Copy !req
295. What's up, man? Everything good?
Copy !req
296. - Life is good.
- Yes, yes.
Copy !req
297. We're celebrating Tony's book.
Copy !req
298. - Come here, girl. Get in here.
Hi.
Copy !req
299. - How you doing?
- Good.
Copy !req
300. - This is Tony.
- Hi.
Copy !req
301. - Howdy.
- Oh, congratulations.
Copy !req
302. We're having a good time.
Copy !req
303. Oh, oh, the next one?
Copy !req
304. No, the next one,
I'm doing something called
Copy !req
305. A Cook's Tour.
Copy !req
306. Basically, I'm gonna
travel around the world,
Copy !req
307. eating exotic food and having
adventures in the Far East
Copy !req
308. and Africa and South America...
Copy !req
309. with a crew chasing me.
Copy !req
310. Hey, John, come here.
Copy !req
311. You know, my 15 minutes of
Copy !req
312. quote, unquote "fame,"
uh, you know, when that's over,
Copy !req
313. uh, I will be perfectly
comfortable with that,
Copy !req
314. if not relieved.
Copy !req
315. I think even relieved
at this point.
Copy !req
316. When I met him
for the first time,
Copy !req
317. he had made a splash with
Kitchen Confidential.
Copy !req
318. I had read
that he had a contract
Copy !req
319. to write a second book
calledA Cook's Tour,
Copy !req
320. and I called him.
Copy !req
321. - Yes?
- And I said,
Copy !req
322. - "Hey, I'm a producer."
- Doing good.
Copy !req
323. "Would you ever even consider
Copy !req
324. makingCook's Tour
into a series?"
Copy !req
325. And he, you know,
he was like, you know,
Copy !req
326. "Yeah, uh, whatever."
Copy !req
327. - You know? "Sure."
- Sure.
Copy !req
328. He was very nonplussed
about the whole idea
Copy !req
329. of doing anything
in television.
Copy !req
330. It was not
what was on his mind.
Copy !req
331. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
332. A week and a half later,
Copy !req
333. Chris Collins and I
Copy !req
334. went up to Les Halles.
Copy !req
335. We found Tony,
Copy !req
336. shot a demo with him
Copy !req
337. and had a conversation with him.
Copy !req
338. And it became immediately clear
he had never traveled.
Copy !req
339. Lydia and I were
far greater world travelers
Copy !req
340. than Tony Bourdain.
Copy !req
341. His travels were in his head.
Copy !req
342. You know, I want
to go to faraway exotic places
Copy !req
343. with palm trees and where
teenagers in army uniforms
Copy !req
344. carry machine guns.
Copy !req
345. Growing up as a kid, you know,
I watched The Crimson Pirate.
Copy !req
346. You know,
all pirates and bad guys
Copy !req
347. having great adventures.
Copy !req
348. Tony's view of the world
Copy !req
349. emanated from books
and from films.
Copy !req
350. Almost in an encyclopedic way,
Copy !req
351. he could grab
all these references.
Copy !req
352. And I think he was excited
Copy !req
353. to go on this journey
Copy !req
354. to see if the reality
Copy !req
355. actually matched
the imagination.
Copy !req
356. That moment when we set out
Copy !req
357. in December of 2000,
it's indelible.
Copy !req
358. Our first journey
was, um, for six weeks.
Copy !req
359. And remember,
we'd only spent one...
Copy !req
360. one day with Tony
leading up to that moment.
Copy !req
361. The image of Tony,
I mean, it was, I think,
Copy !req
362. a guy who, at that moment,
was very unsure
Copy !req
363. of what was about to happen.
Copy !req
364. This way.
Copy !req
365. You know, I'm looking at
Copy !req
366. a strange and, uh,
unpredictable future
Copy !req
367. in a tough business with rules
Copy !req
368. that I'm not
com-completely familiar with,
Copy !req
369. and when I become familiar
with them, I...
Copy !req
370. you know, I don't know
whether I like them that much.
Copy !req
371. We hit the road together,
Copy !req
372. just the three of us.
Copy !req
373. Lydia and I
had just gotten married.
Copy !req
374. And then we had Tony,
a guy who we barely knew.
Copy !req
375. So it was like three idiots
Copy !req
376. trying to figure each other out.
Copy !req
377. The first shoot was Japan.
Copy !req
378. Like, we didn't know
what we were doing.
Copy !req
379. He definitely didn't know
what he was doing.
Copy !req
380. And Tony immediately became
uncomfortable and awkward.
Copy !req
381. What we would find out
very quickly is
Copy !req
382. Tony was actually
a very shy human being.
Copy !req
383. And to get him to make
eye contact or to interact,
Copy !req
384. it wasn't his natural state.
Copy !req
385. You know, life
on the road with Tony Bourdain
Copy !req
386. just isn't
all it's cracked up to be.
Copy !req
387. You know what I mean?
Copy !req
388. The man can be a royal pain
in the ass sometimes.
Copy !req
389. In fact, I got this cold sore
on my lip now,
Copy !req
390. and it's due to stress,
Copy !req
391. stress over Tony's
lack of communication.
Copy !req
392. That, compounded by the fact
Copy !req
393. that we were in Japan
being sort of led into scenes
Copy !req
394. where there was a lot of,
kind of, formality involved,
Copy !req
395. you know, all of those
factored into him being
Copy !req
396. quiet,
Copy !req
397. which was like
the worst possible thing.
Copy !req
398. Mmm. Oh, wow.
Copy !req
399. Spectacular.
Copy !req
400. I mean, Chris and I went
Copy !req
401. back to the hotel and basically
Copy !req
402. looked at each other
and said like...
Copy !req
403. We're fucked.
Copy !req
404. Chris, can—
Chris, take a picture of
Copy !req
405. me and Lydia as we come back
with the sun behind her,
Copy !req
406. pointing up the mountain
towards the farmhouse
Copy !req
407. as we walk up past
the yellow triangular sign.
Copy !req
408. Thank you.
Copy !req
409. Okay. Here we go.
Copy !req
410. Okay.
Copy !req
411. I mean, to be honest,
I'm not totally alone,
Copy !req
412. 'cause clearly somebody is
shooting this.
Copy !req
413. I always love those,
like, desert scenes,
Copy !req
414. "I'm alone in the desert."
Copy !req
415. Yeah, but who else's footprints
are those?
Copy !req
416. You know, one of those things.
But-but look.
Copy !req
417. This is pretty cool.
Copy !req
418. And it does feel pretty cool
to be walking—
Copy !req
419. Well, I'll tell you this:
I'm having a lot more fun
Copy !req
420. walking forward than
the cameraperson is
Copy !req
421. walking backwards, I'm sure.
Copy !req
422. Was that a groan?
Copy !req
423. - Yes, it was.
Copy !req
424. We went from Japan to Vietnam.
Copy !req
425. That's when things started
to kick in to a different gear.
Copy !req
426. My good friend
Phillipe Lajaunie,
Copy !req
427. uh, pulled in, uh,
semi-unexpectedly last night.
Copy !req
428. We're ready for, uh,
ready for our adventure?
Copy !req
429. I joined them
on that first trip in Vietnam,
Copy !req
430. and he was enjoying himself
Copy !req
431. and being less cynical.
Copy !req
432. Hey.
Copy !req
433. Floating Starbucks over here.
Copy !req
434. I'll have a double latte,
uh, mochaccino please.
Copy !req
435. Oh, that's great.
Copy !req
436. Kicks the shit out of Starbucks.
Copy !req
437. "I love Vietnam.
Copy !req
438. "Maybe it's a pheromonic thing,
like when you meet
Copy !req
439. "the love of your life
for the first time.
Copy !req
440. "She just, somehow,
Copy !req
441. "inexplicably smells
and feels right.
Copy !req
442. "You sense that, given the
opportunity, this is the woman
Copy !req
443. you want to spend
the rest of your life with."
Copy !req
444. We had common desire
Copy !req
445. to spend time in Vietnam,
maybe forever.
Copy !req
446. That was our secret bond.
Copy !req
447. And of course, the movie
Apocalypse Now
Copy !req
448. was one of his top
Copy !req
449. three movies in his life,
Copy !req
450. uh, because it combined
so many things:
Copy !req
451. Vietnam and the war and-and the
book, the Heart of Darkness.
Copy !req
452. We just started doing
Copy !req
453. all of this
self-indulgent film references,
Copy !req
454. and I suddenly realized,
"Wait a minute.
Copy !req
455. This-this filmmaking thing
can be fun."
Copy !req
456. You know,
it's a big crayon box.
Copy !req
457. We can actually enjoy this.
Copy !req
458. Why am I here? Am I insane?
Copy !req
459. You know, he used to say,
Copy !req
460. "Don't ever let me do TV.
Copy !req
461. Thing is like, if I ever do TV,
shoot me."
Copy !req
462. And, you know,
at first, it was awful.
Copy !req
463. Where do cooks come from?
Copy !req
464. The answer to this
and other questions to follow.
Copy !req
465. And then very quickly—
Copy !req
466. he's such a good student,
he's so freaking smart—
Copy !req
467. he, like, figured it out.
Copy !req
468. Chris, Lydia, I love you.
Copy !req
469. You know that, right?
Copy !req
470. But I got one night
in Bangkok here, okay?
Copy !req
471. So not even 24 hours
we're laying over here.
Copy !req
472. You want to do a whole
goddamn show in 24 hours?
Copy !req
473. Fine. Okay?
Copy !req
474. But... forget about
blocking out.
Copy !req
475. No plan and you better be fast.
Copy !req
476. I'm gonna have a good time.
We're gonna roll.
Copy !req
477. And if you don't get it,
you don't get it.
Copy !req
478. Catch it in editing,
as we like to say.
Copy !req
479. What started to grow
Copy !req
480. at that moment
was this understanding,
Copy !req
481. "Tony, you don't need
to tell us everything.
Copy !req
482. "You need to experience this
and ask questions.
Copy !req
483. "That's how we're all
gonna learn from this place.
Copy !req
484. "It's not
you being a travel guide.
Copy !req
485. It's you being open
to this experience."
Copy !req
486. Oh, Jesus.
Copy !req
487. Look at this.
Copy !req
488. Look at this thing.
Copy !req
489. Look at the roe
just popping out everywhere.
Copy !req
490. Just in— Whoa! Whoa.
Copy !req
491. Come back. Come to papa.
Copy !req
492. If there is any dish
Copy !req
493. that comes closest
to perfection,
Copy !req
494. this is it, you know.
Copy !req
495. This is bumping up right up
against the walls of heaven.
Copy !req
496. Ah, man.
Copy !req
497. We've reached the mountaintop.
Copy !req
498. And trying to think, you know,
Copy !req
499. "What do I want?"
Copy !req
500. It would be nice
to buy something
Copy !req
501. that will fulfill
some hollow part of my soul,
Copy !req
502. but I can't think of,
you know, anything.
Copy !req
503. Maybe a car will do it.
I-I don't know.
Copy !req
504. I mean, shit, my rent is paid.
Copy !req
505. That alone is spectacular.
Copy !req
506. I mean, I-I...
Copy !req
507. I'd like to live
like a normal person.
Copy !req
508. That was always my thought,
that-that if I get
Copy !req
509. enough money, I'll be able
to live like a normal person.
Copy !req
510. But I don't even know
what that is anymore.
Copy !req
511. I read Kitchen Confidential
at that time,
Copy !req
512. and I call him.
Copy !req
513. And I invite him
to have lunch with me
Copy !req
514. because I want to meet the man.
Copy !req
515. And he shows up
with a-a TV crew.
Copy !req
516. I thought this was a jackpot.
Copy !req
517. This was one of my idols.
Copy !req
518. I was just absolutely
freaked out.
Copy !req
519. Incredibly sophisticated,
refined,
Copy !req
520. clean, beautiful,
Copy !req
521. impeccably presented.
Copy !req
522. Eric's food is like
Copy !req
523. the craft
performed at its highest level.
Copy !req
524. When I meet him,
Copy !req
525. I don't expect him...
Copy !req
526. to be so articulate.
Copy !req
527. And he has amazing
Copy !req
528. good manners at the table.
Copy !req
529. And I think
at the end of the meal,
Copy !req
530. we said we should meet again.
Copy !req
531. And, um, and we did.
Copy !req
532. Served with foie gras
mousse and notes of...
Copy !req
533. I think
what was not a struggle—
Copy !req
534. I don't know if "struggle"
is the right word,
Copy !req
535. but the challenge
was to be real,
Copy !req
536. stay real, and at the same time,
Copy !req
537. be the host of a TV show.
Copy !req
538. You have to
Copy !req
539. exaggerate a little bit.
Copy !req
540. This is like
driving a Rolls-Royce naked
Copy !req
541. in mink underpants.
Copy !req
542. Just so over-the-top luxurious.
Copy !req
543. I think the person
Copy !req
544. that people experienced
on camera was
Copy !req
545. someone who seemingly had
this incredible ability
Copy !req
546. to engage with
anybody he came across.
Copy !req
547. It's like
the un-muscled James Bond
Copy !req
548. who could kind of swan
into scenes.
Copy !req
549. There was that persona
that was created over time.
Copy !req
550. I am looking for
Copy !req
551. extremes of emotion
and experience.
Copy !req
552. I'll try anything.
I'll risk everything.
Copy !req
553. I have nothing to lose.
Copy !req
554. The story wasA Cook's Tour
Copy !req
555. was about a guy
who smoke and drank
Copy !req
556. and ate his way
around the world.
Copy !req
557. That was true.
Copy !req
558. Part of the pitch was,
Copy !req
559. "And he's gonna eat
really weird shit, too."
Copy !req
560. Let's-let's do the nasty.
Copy !req
561. They don't seem to have
their mise en place together.
Copy !req
562. I have my mise en place together
Copy !req
563. when I'm making steak frites.
Copy !req
564. It seems to me, you know,
when you're making live cobra,
Copy !req
565. you know, you should have
your operating stuff laid out.
Copy !req
566. You know, where's the
cutting board, the knife?
Copy !req
567. Scissors?
Copy !req
568. You know, eating
Copy !req
569. those kind of things was
for camera, was for network,
Copy !req
570. was for all the reasons
people do that.
Copy !req
571. It's like, you know,
Copy !req
572. it's a little salacious,
Copy !req
573. like he's eating
a live, beating cobra heart.
Copy !req
574. Cheers, folks.
Copy !req
575. Feels strong.
Copy !req
576. It kind of pumps
on its way down, too.
Copy !req
577. And I think that persona
Copy !req
578. followed him for a number
of years, but over time,
Copy !req
579. that burned off
and it became Tony.
Copy !req
580. Going back
to the ancestral homeland,
Copy !req
581. and maybe we'll discover
some things along the way.
Copy !req
582. So this is my father
and a little friend in France
Copy !req
583. in a little oyster village
in the Gironde.
Copy !req
584. This is one of
my favorite pictures, also.
Copy !req
585. Uh, my brother and I
in the same spot.
Copy !req
586. We didn't do a lot of travel
Copy !req
587. when we were kids 'cause
my parents were not rich.
Copy !req
588. We did go to France
a couple of times
Copy !req
589. because my dad
had relatives there.
Copy !req
590. I'm nervous.
Copy !req
591. Whoever thought
we'd do something this goofy?
Copy !req
592. This isn't goofy.
Copy !req
593. Our childhood as American kids,
Copy !req
594. we really got into
Tintin books,
Copy !req
595. which Americans say "Tin-Tin."
Copy !req
596. This was a graphic novel
about this young reporter
Copy !req
597. who travels
all around the world
Copy !req
598. and ends up with all of these
amazing adventures.
Copy !req
599. I think it was actually,
in some ways,
Copy !req
600. an inspiration for Tony's life.
Copy !req
601. This is an oyster boat
Copy !req
602. similar to the one
on which I had my first oyster.
Copy !req
603. "I blame my first oyster
Copy !req
604. "for everything I did after:
my thrill-seeking,
Copy !req
605. all my hideous screwups
in pursuit of pleasure."
Copy !req
606. "I was miserable and angry."
Copy !req
607. - Damn! We didn't get those
when we were kids.
Copy !req
608. - No, no.
- He-he!
Copy !req
609. "I bridled bitterly at
Copy !req
610. "the smothering chokehold of
love and normalcy in my house.
Copy !req
611. "Call it a character flaw,
of which drugs
Copy !req
612. were simply a manifestation."
Copy !req
613. - Outstanding, Corporal!
- Most excellent.
Copy !req
614. "A petulant 'fuck you'
Copy !req
615. "to my bourgeois parents,
who'd committed
Copy !req
616. the unpardonable sin
of loving me."
Copy !req
617. - I'm really glad we got
a chance to do this. -Me, too.
Copy !req
618. We're older
and more mature now.
Copy !req
619. Yeah.
Okay.
Copy !req
620. - Yeah, let's do another one.
Copy !req
621. - Yeah.
- Okay.
Copy !req
622. All right, um, take two.
Copy !req
623. "Two years ago, frequent flyer
miles meant nothing to me.
Copy !req
624. Today, miles earned are the
pathetic milestones of my..."
Copy !req
625. - Top?
- Yeah, start at the top.
Copy !req
626. All right, take three.
Copy !req
627. We would write the voice-over
Copy !req
628. in the beginning.
Copy !req
629. Like, we need context
for what we're seeing.
Copy !req
630. We need
Copy !req
631. some summary of the scene.
Copy !req
632. "Later, I'm on another swing
through Southeast Asia
Copy !req
633. "with layovers here and there.
Copy !req
634. "First stop, Singapore.
Copy !req
635. A quick business dinner with
my editor, Ilangoh T..."
Copy !req
636. "Tanalaban"? "Tanadab—"
"Tana—" Is it— No.
Copy !req
637. - Thanabalan.
- Thanabalan. Okay.
Copy !req
638. "Later, I'm on a..."
Copy !req
639. Tony would
come to the narration,
Copy !req
640. and he'd be like,
"What is the shit?"
Copy !req
641. You know what I mean?
And so...
Copy !req
642. he would start
scratching things out.
Copy !req
643. And, you know, first it started
with a word or two here
Copy !req
644. or a sentence or two here.
Copy !req
645. You know,
and then he became, like,
Copy !req
646. maniacal about it.
Copy !req
647. "... book tours, the TV show,
I travel for a living.
Copy !req
648. "I've committed to memory
the SkyMallmagazine.
Copy !req
649. "The electronic
watering timer, $49.99.
Copy !req
650. "Duty-free restrictions:
Copy !req
651. one liter alcohol,
two cartons of smokes."
Copy !req
652. "Cobbler for dessert?
I don't think so.
Copy !req
653. "Airport to airport,
city to city,
Copy !req
654. "I'm starting to feel like
a modern-day Willy Loman.
Copy !req
655. "Time zone to time zone,
country to country,
Copy !req
656. this, it appears, is my life."
Copy !req
657. He really understood, like,
Copy !req
658. "This is an extension of me.
Copy !req
659. "This is an extension
of my writing.
Copy !req
660. "I better write in my voice.
Copy !req
661. "You know, otherwise this is
gonna sound— I'm gonna sound
Copy !req
662. like a tr-travel television host
rather than a writer."
Copy !req
663. "Making TV was becoming
Copy !req
664. "creatively satisfying.
Copy !req
665. "I wrote the book
and yet continued filming.
Copy !req
666. "The tail now wagged the dog.
Copy !req
667. "I was hooked on travel,
on seeing the world,
Copy !req
668. "and on the terms
I was seeing it.
Copy !req
669. "I was on the road for
the better part of two years,
Copy !req
670. "during which time
everything in my life changed.
Copy !req
671. "I stopped working as a chef,
a job whose daily routines
Copy !req
672. "have always been
the only thing
Copy !req
673. "that stood between me
and chaos.
Copy !req
674. My first marriage
began to fall apart."
Copy !req
675. They were together
almost 30 years.
Copy !req
676. You know, he was
Copy !req
677. a traditional romantic.
Copy !req
678. He believed that you could
Copy !req
679. meet your
high school sweetheart
Copy !req
680. and spend the rest
of your life with them.
Copy !req
681. They were like, you know,
Copy !req
682. Sid and Nancy.
Copy !req
683. They were like two people
conspiring against the world.
Copy !req
684. It was a love born out
of youth and rebellion.
Copy !req
685. Great.
Copy !req
686. Nancy, I hope
your divorce lawyer
Copy !req
687. is paying close attention
to this footage.
Copy !req
688. Feel free to depose anyone
on this crew at any time.
Copy !req
689. This, too, of course, is part
of life's glorious mosaic.
Copy !req
690. Nancy had no interest in fame
Copy !req
691. or being tied to fame,
but it just
Copy !req
692. was like a rebirth for Tony.
Copy !req
693. It was like he died
and-and was reborn.
Copy !req
694. I mean, this was a new person
with a new life.
Copy !req
695. "I wrote a crime novel
Copy !req
696. "around that time in which
the characters' yearnings
Copy !req
697. "for a white-picket-fence
kind of a life reflect my own
Copy !req
698. "far more truthfully than any
nonfiction I've ever written.
Copy !req
699. "Shortly after that,
I cruelly burned down
Copy !req
700. my previous life
in its entirety."
Copy !req
701. That dying glow
in the background is, uh,
Copy !req
702. I think the fuel depot
from the airport...
Copy !req
703. There we are
on the balcony in my room,
Copy !req
704. nervously emptying out
the minibar, uh,
Copy !req
705. watching jet fuel
cook off at the airport.
Copy !req
706. We had gone there
to shoot a show
Copy !req
707. for the Travel Channel
about how Beirut was
Copy !req
708. this renaissance of thought,
feeling and energy,
Copy !req
709. and we shot two scenes,
Copy !req
710. and then shit went south
really fast.
Copy !req
711. There was
a border incident with Israel.
Copy !req
712. Hezbollah had kidnapped
some Israeli soldiers,
Copy !req
713. and basically, uh,
we got caught up in a war.
Copy !req
714. Hold on. Let me, uh...
Copy !req
715. Todd, exactly how disgusted
and anxious are you?
Copy !req
716. We're damn lucky to be here.
Copy !req
717. We're spending all
this time at the pool,
Copy !req
718. watching helicopters
come in and out.
Copy !req
719. It was just
a waiting game for us.
Copy !req
720. We had to go in the basement
Copy !req
721. because there was
a lot of bombs by us.
Copy !req
722. They knocked down our house.
Copy !req
723. You know, look at us
in those scenes.
Copy !req
724. You know,
we're sitting around the pool,
Copy !req
725. getting tan,
Copy !req
726. you know, watching a war.
Copy !req
727. If there's a single metaphor
in this entire experience,
Copy !req
728. that...
Copy !req
729. you know, that's probably it.
Copy !req
730. Not a flattering one.
Copy !req
731. When they arrived back,
Copy !req
732. the first thing he said was,
Copy !req
733. "We cannot make a show
out of this.
Copy !req
734. I refuse to exploit
this experience in that way."
Copy !req
735. Needless to say,
the network saw it differently.
Copy !req
736. There's just no neat sum-up
to the story.
Copy !req
737. He stopped doing the...
Copy !req
738. rosy sum-up of what we just saw.
Copy !req
739. He just stopped.
Copy !req
740. In the few years
since I've started
Copy !req
741. to travel this world,
I'd found myself changing.
Copy !req
742. I'd begun to believe
that the dinner table was
Copy !req
743. the great leveler.
Copy !req
744. Now I'm not so sure.
Copy !req
745. Maybe the world's
not like that at all.
Copy !req
746. Maybe in the real world,
the one without cameras
Copy !req
747. and happy food
and travel shows,
Copy !req
748. everybody, the good
and the bad together,
Copy !req
749. are all crushed
under the same terrible wheel.
Copy !req
750. I hope—
Copy !req
751. I really hope
I'm wrong about that.
Copy !req
752. That ambiguity,
Copy !req
753. that's what he embraced.
Copy !req
754. Fucking open-endedness
is where the answers are.
Copy !req
755. It was
an embittering experience.
Copy !req
756. It got all of us
thinking about, you know,
Copy !req
757. what's important in life.
Copy !req
758. Oh, it's recording.
Copy !req
759. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
760. You look like an idiot.
Copy !req
761. Come on, say something,
Mr. Anthony Bourdain.
Copy !req
762. This is, uh, our vacation video,
Copy !req
763. and we're gonna show this
to our children.
Copy !req
764. Welcome to my video.
Copy !req
765. Welcome to my first
independent film.
Copy !req
766. My spring vacation.
Copy !req
767. Ow, ow, ow!
Copy !req
768. - Come on, I'm driving.
Copy !req
769. How do you say that in English?
Copy !req
770. Is this a bad thing?
Copy !req
771. Tony was single,
Copy !req
772. and Ottavia worked for me.
Copy !req
773. Tony called me and he-he said,
"Who is this girl, Ottavia?"
Copy !req
774. And I said, "Well, have fun.
Copy !req
775. You know,
don't take it seriously."
Copy !req
776. Eric thought, you know,
Copy !req
777. we were the perfect match
for those
Copy !req
778. occasional,
you know, rendezvous.
Copy !req
779. You drive like Grandma.
Copy !req
780. What do you mean?
Does Grandma drive like this?
Copy !req
781. Oh, here, look, no hands.
Copy !req
782. - [tires squeal, horn honks]
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
783. I thought he was gonna be this
Copy !req
784. bad boy, a little bit arrogant,
Copy !req
785. and not what I was expecting
but endearing nonetheless.
Copy !req
786. Perfetto.
Copy !req
787. But you know
what the show's about?
Copy !req
788. - No.
- It's about a,
Copy !req
789. about a existential crossroads
in my life.
Copy !req
790. You look bored already.
Copy !req
791. I am.
Copy !req
792. You saw
they were pretty smitten.
Copy !req
793. I mean, he always has
Copy !req
794. really appreciated
very strong women.
Copy !req
795. She would cut him no slack.
Copy !req
796. This is a load of.
Copy !req
797. What are the chances
this scene is gonna end up
Copy !req
798. - on the cutting room floor?
- Zero.
Copy !req
799. Even if we fight.
Copy !req
800. Now, that would be
good television, see?
Copy !req
801. - We should fight.
Copy !req
802. A couple of months later,
Copy !req
803. we are in a restaurant,
and she's toasting him
Copy !req
804. at the table,
and I see tears in his eyes.
Copy !req
805. Real tears.
Copy !req
806. And we're like,
"Oh, my God, he's in love."
Copy !req
807. Okay, let's do
some romantic thing.
Copy !req
808. What, like— No.
Copy !req
809. - Get that...
Copy !req
810. Tony was like the teenagers,
Copy !req
811. like, falling in love
for the first time.
Copy !req
812. They changed their clothes
and the music
Copy !req
813. that they're listening to, and
pieces of him that you thought
Copy !req
814. you knew were... shifting.
Copy !req
815. Were you shocked
when Tony had a kid?
Copy !req
816. I was shocked.
Copy !req
817. I had asked him
Copy !req
818. how come he didn't have kids,
and he's like...
Copy !req
819. "It's just not something
I ever see myself doing, ever."
Copy !req
820. For most of my life,
Copy !req
821. I wouldn't have been
a good father.
Copy !req
822. Too self-involved,
too messed-up on drugs.
Copy !req
823. And also afraid.
Copy !req
824. The thought of being
frightened for a child,
Copy !req
825. you know, I was not
up to that kind of fear.
Copy !req
826. Any doubts I might have had
kind of dissipated
Copy !req
827. when I realized how happy,
how happy, excited he was
Copy !req
828. that he was gonna
become a father.
Copy !req
829. - No phone.
No phone?
Copy !req
830. Okay. Okay. That's okay.
Copy !req
831. - That's okay?
- That's okay.
Copy !req
832. - Yeah? It's okay, Dada?
- Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
833. - Okay, a little hug?
- Come on.
Copy !req
834. Come on, now. Okay, okay.
Copy !req
835. - Okay, okay.
- Okay.
Copy !req
836. - Come on. Come on, Appa.
Copy !req
837. - Appa.
- Appa? What about your appa?
Copy !req
838. One, two, three.
Copy !req
839. But what does
the doctor look like?
Copy !req
840. Well, hello. I'm Dr. Tony.
Copy !req
841. What seems to be
the problem here?
Copy !req
842. I'm here to help you
get all better.
Copy !req
843. - [whooping, cheering]
- Hooray! -Yeah!
Copy !req
844. We should help all people
when they need help.
Copy !req
845. Hey, that reminds me,
I have to get back.
Copy !req
846. - Bye.
Copy !req
847. This is my life.
Copy !req
848. I wake up.
Copy !req
849. I walk my daughter
Copy !req
850. to her summer camp.
Copy !req
851. You know, I have a few minutes
of normal family life,
Copy !req
852. then I, like, take
the elevator downstairs,
Copy !req
853. and there's yet another...
Copy !req
854. Yo, Anthony!
How you doing, boss?
Copy !req
855. Hey, what's up, man?
Copy !req
856. Are you on the job?
Copy !req
857. Yo, this guy's got
the best show on TV.
Copy !req
858. Tony got really famous.
Copy !req
859. Like, every two minutes,
it seemed,
Copy !req
860. someone's going up to him.
Copy !req
861. "Hey."
Copy !req
862. You know, "Tony, I'm a huge fan.
Copy !req
863. "Can I take a photo?
Copy !req
864. "Can you talk to me?
Copy !req
865. What are, what-what are
some travel tips? Would I—"
Copy !req
866. It-it was just incessant,
nonstop barrage.
Copy !req
867. He got a kid and he wanted to
be a good husband to Ottavia,
Copy !req
868. and... everything changed, man.
Copy !req
869. For him.
Copy !req
870. I'm food bad boy Tony Bourdain.
Copy !req
871. There's nowhere I won't go
and nothing I won't eat,
Copy !req
872. as long as I'm paid in emeralds
and my hotel room has
Copy !req
873. a bidet that shoots
warm champagne.
Copy !req
874. Ladies and
gentlemen, Anthony Bourdain.
Copy !req
875. And that's when I was like,
Copy !req
876. "Tony, like, what the fuck, man?
Copy !req
877. "Like, how do you
maintain your cool
Copy !req
878. and your composure
and you're nice?"
Copy !req
879. I'll never forget this.
He's like, "Listen.
Copy !req
880. "Me being nice to someone
and being gracious to them,
Copy !req
881. "if that's my job,
it certainly beats
Copy !req
882. being middling line cook
at a struggling restaurant."
Copy !req
883. Do you have anything
resembling a normal life?
Copy !req
884. No.
Copy !req
885. I'm asking this 'cause
the answer for me is no.
Copy !req
886. I want to say no, 'cause
I just visited my friends.
Copy !req
887. I haven't seen them
in many years.
Copy !req
888. - Right.
- And I felt I just—
Copy !req
889. I couldn't relate.
Copy !req
890. - I mean, it's like...
- I know, I know.
Copy !req
891. And I-I understand those,
but-but, but... yeah.
Copy !req
892. I'm a freak.
Copy !req
893. - They only...
- Fucking hell. Jesus.
Copy !req
894. Oh, is this so interesting?
Copy !req
895. - What are we waiting for?
Copy !req
896. Is there...
Copy !req
897. We're always at the ready.
Copy !req
898. I'm about to give birth
to a big fucking alien baby
Copy !req
899. at any moment.
Copy !req
900. It's-it's gonna be huge.
Copy !req
901. All right,
why don't we take five, then.
Copy !req
902. - Take five.
- Holy crap. Jesus.
Copy !req
903. And you're...
Copy !req
904. How many days of
straight shooting you have?
Copy !req
905. Don't ask me that.
Copy !req
906. The international
narco trafficker
Copy !req
907. Tom Vitale was arrested
in Amsterdam just recently.
Copy !req
908. On examination
at the local precinct,
Copy !req
909. they found he'd swallowed
Copy !req
910. a record-breaking
90 bolitas of cocaine.
Copy !req
911. What made it
into the shows was,
Copy !req
912. as far as I was concerned,
the least interesting...
Copy !req
913. parts of the trip.
Copy !req
914. Welcome to another episode
of 24-Hour Fuck-over.
Copy !req
915. He was a control freak
in a lot of ways.
Copy !req
916. You couldn't win
an argument with him.
Copy !req
917. Just because there was an idea,
he would challenge it.
Copy !req
918. Do you have any lines for me?
Copy !req
919. Maybe you can feed me something.
Copy !req
920. Rome at dusk. There's really
no place like it, is there?
Copy !req
921. Uh, romance is in the air.
Copy !req
922. - Who says that?
- We're here for two days.
Copy !req
923. When?
When at any point in my life
Copy !req
924. have I ever said that?
Copy !req
925. Occasionally you feel inspired
and you say something
Copy !req
926. really nice
that makes me tear up.
Copy !req
927. Not today, I guess.
Copy !req
928. Well, I would say his barometer
Copy !req
929. for bullshit in general
was extremely sensitive.
Copy !req
930. But if he felt
we were bullshitting,
Copy !req
931. I mean, that's like kind of
the ultimate sin, right?
Copy !req
932. You're gonna walk down
along the canal...
Copy !req
933. You'd have to sort of
Copy !req
934. lead from behind with him.
Copy !req
935. What kind of
fascist regime is this?
Copy !req
936. Because when Tony
wanted to leave,
Copy !req
937. Tony would leave.
Copy !req
938. I mean, stopping him
had to be physical.
Copy !req
939. Like putting my body in between
him and the escape route.
Copy !req
940. Keep him away from me.
Copy !req
941. No, no, no.
Copy !req
942. Yeah, I've had enough, man.
Copy !req
943. Too, too fucked-up.
Copy !req
944. Well, my day's ruined.
Copy !req
945. Really?
No.
Copy !req
946. All right. Goodbye.
- I'm gonna burst into tears.
Copy !req
947. Yeah, that's pretty good, huh?
Copy !req
948. In the beginning, it was just
Copy !req
949. Chris and Lydia
shooting with him.
Copy !req
950. They did that for several years
Copy !req
951. and then brought in
a whole team of people,
Copy !req
952. many of them
who stuck around to the end.
Copy !req
953. This is for you.
Copy !req
954. - Oh!
Copy !req
955. - You might need this later.
- Oh, I will.
Copy !req
956. It was pretty much
Copy !req
957. the most formative years
of my life.
Copy !req
958. There will be blood.
Copy !req
959. There were these battling
Copy !req
960. sort of teams on the show.
Copy !req
961. Hi, Diane.
Diane.
Copy !req
962. Hey! Hey!
Copy !req
963. Zach introduced
a little something
Copy !req
964. called the-the lens change.
Copy !req
965. I think Tony liked me
Copy !req
966. for a couple reasons.
Copy !req
967. One was that, you know,
I enjoyed fucking with Tony.
Copy !req
968. You know? I mean, it was—
Copy !req
969. Uh, we all sort of fucked
with him in our own ways.
Copy !req
970. You know,
it was very competitive,
Copy !req
971. and so the bar got pushed
every single episode.
Copy !req
972. Tony was in on everything.
Copy !req
973. Every show was something
that was important.
Copy !req
974. Every show had his care in it.
Copy !req
975. Every show potentially
had his wrath.
Copy !req
976. I mean, how many emails I got,
Copy !req
977. "Tell editor to un-fuck itself."
Copy !req
978. And I had to translate that
to the editor.
Copy !req
979. He would say that
the greatest sin is mediocrity.
Copy !req
980. "Aspiring to mediocrity.
Copy !req
981. "There is a grim, inevitable
Copy !req
982. "and all too predictable
trajectory
Copy !req
983. "to the passage of
a good episode of television.
Copy !req
984. "People aren't as stupid as
your minions clearly believe.
Copy !req
985. - "They don't need the truth
Copy !req
986. "pounded home
with meaningless platitudes
Copy !req
987. "or bland, generic sum-ups.
Copy !req
988. - They'll get it."
Copy !req
989. And it goes on
for several pages.
Copy !req
990. "Don't empower
these squirrel-balled nerds
Copy !req
991. "by letting them get their way.
Copy !req
992. "They will then nibble
this show to death
Copy !req
993. "like hungry ducks.
Copy !req
994. As always, best wishes
and respect, Tony."
Copy !req
995. And this was written to somebody
Copy !req
996. he truly liked and respected.
Copy !req
997. It bothered him
if everyone liked the show.
Copy !req
998. He was like, "It should
create conversation."
Copy !req
999. How old is he?
Copy !req
1000. D-Does he even
remember the planes?
Copy !req
1001. He was a child.
Copy !req
1002. He doesn't remember.
Copy !req
1003. Doesn't remember.
All these years...
Copy !req
1004. He was a shockingly
countercultural voice.
Copy !req
1005. I mean, so many of the
countries I worked in with him
Copy !req
1006. were still dealing with
the fallout
Copy !req
1007. from whatever America had done.
Copy !req
1008. For him,
it's losing everything,
Copy !req
1009. uh, because he's the...
Copy !req
1010. the head of the family,
feeding the family.
Copy !req
1011. Um, so after losing
Copy !req
1012. his arms and his legs,
Copy !req
1013. uh, it's-it's a great disaster
for his life.
Copy !req
1014. - Uh, he wants
to know if you are afraid
Copy !req
1015. - of seeing the-the reality.
Copy !req
1016. Ah. Afraid?
Copy !req
1017. Um, uh, no.
Copy !req
1018. It-it hurts, but I think
that's appropriate.
Copy !req
1019. You know, it should.
I think Americans—
Copy !req
1020. every American should see
the results of war.
Copy !req
1021. I think it's, uh...
Copy !req
1022. the least I can do is to-to
see the world with open eyes.
Copy !req
1023. You'll notice that, in general,
Copy !req
1024. I'm not myself.
Copy !req
1025. Where's the snark,
the attitude?
Copy !req
1026. Well, what do you say to this?
Copy !req
1027. I honestly don't know.
Copy !req
1028. People are not statistics.
Copy !req
1029. Surely there's value in-in
showing the little things.
Copy !req
1030. How's business for her?
Uh, can you ask her?
Copy !req
1031. Not re—
not really good this time.
Copy !req
1032. - Not good?
- No.
Copy !req
1033. I mean, the country's situation,
Copy !req
1034. people don't have
any income, any money,
Copy !req
1035. so they can't
buy food in the street.
Copy !req
1036. So you can imagine that.
Copy !req
1037. That, see—
that why you see a lot of
Copy !req
1038. guys here begging, you know.
Copy !req
1039. "Can you buy me some food?
Can you give me something?"
Copy !req
1040. The biggest issue
Copy !req
1041. that we dealt with
was trying to be,
Copy !req
1042. you know, the fly on the wall
and-and going into a place
Copy !req
1043. and not having an effect.
Copy !req
1044. Like, this episode is a prime
example of just trying to help,
Copy !req
1045. and it rearing its ugly head.
Copy !req
1046. We have all this leftover food.
Copy !req
1047. Tony's like, "Let's just
give it to the people here."
Copy !req
1048. You know, they're hungry,
and of course mayhem ensued.
Copy !req
1049. Larger kids were just, like,
throwing younger kids
Copy !req
1050. out of the line, and it was
a very ugly scenario.
Copy !req
1051. I think
Tony ultimately saw that
Copy !req
1052. it wasn't just food.
Copy !req
1053. There's suffering
in this world,
Copy !req
1054. and that seems to be
omnipresent.
Copy !req
1055. How do you spend time
with people
Copy !req
1056. and-and-and you empathize
with their plight—
Copy !req
1057. How does that not
change you fundamentally?
Copy !req
1058. Whee. Whee.
Copy !req
1059. You going to outer space?
Copy !req
1060. Yes.
Copy !req
1061. Going higher.
Copy !req
1062. He was traveling
250 days a year,
Copy !req
1063. and, you know,
when you come back home,
Copy !req
1064. you have to be a husband,
you have to be a father.
Copy !req
1065. With the little time he had,
Copy !req
1066. he was very attentive.
Copy !req
1067. Sandcastles on the beach,
all day long.
Copy !req
1068. I think it was a surprise
Copy !req
1069. and shock for him,
that late in life,
Copy !req
1070. to experience that kind of love.
Copy !req
1071. Can I use this hand?
Copy !req
1072. That's okay. Use that hand.
Copy !req
1073. We'll pull that out and use
that hand for the crumbs.
Copy !req
1074. It's okay.
Copy !req
1075. It moved him to his core.
Copy !req
1076. And I think
he was constantly aware
Copy !req
1077. of, like, not wanting
to screw it up.
Copy !req
1078. Are you really in this country
right now, or is this a mirage?
Copy !req
1079. I-I am my stunt double.
Copy !req
1080. Couldn't you get
someone better-looking?
Copy !req
1081. Yeah. Oh!
Copy !req
1082. Fans of the show think he had
Copy !req
1083. the greatest job in the world,
but it was one that
Copy !req
1084. there was no way
to ever escape from.
Copy !req
1085. Couldn't really go home
for a day and not be
Copy !req
1086. Anthony Bourdain.
Copy !req
1087. What kind are you making?
Copy !req
1088. Cookie. What's the best kind?
Copy !req
1089. I don't know. Uh, are you
observing child labor laws?
Copy !req
1090. His daughter
used to do this joke
Copy !req
1091. where she would get up and say,
"I'm Anthony Bourdain."
Copy !req
1092. Hi. My name's Anthony Bourdain.
Copy !req
1093. "You may know me
from such TV shows as..."
Copy !req
1094. Maybe you know me
from such shows as, uh...
Copy !req
1095. She knew that her father
Copy !req
1096. and Anthony Bourdain
were very separate entities.
Copy !req
1097. - You're picking that nose
Copy !req
1098. pretty hard there, young lady.
Copy !req
1099. Oh! God!
Copy !req
1100. "I'm through being cool.
Copy !req
1101. "Or, more accurately,
I'm through
Copy !req
1102. "entertaining the notion
that anybody could even
Copy !req
1103. "consider the possibility
of coolness emanating from
Copy !req
1104. or residing anywhere near me."
Copy !req
1105. Everybody kick to the camera.
Copy !req
1106. Hi-yah!
Copy !req
1107. "The essence of cool,
after all,
Copy !req
1108. "is not giving a fuck.
Copy !req
1109. And let's face it, I most
definitely give a fuck now."
Copy !req
1110. You know, my whole life,
Copy !req
1111. I was like a kid with my nose
pressed against the glass,
Copy !req
1112. like, wondering, you know,
"What must it be like to, like,
Copy !req
1113. "have a kid and, you know,
a normal family
Copy !req
1114. "and-and stand in the backyard
with this silly apron,
Copy !req
1115. you know, barbecuing burgers?"
Copy !req
1116. - So when I find...
- Can I get a picture of that?
Copy !req
1117. - ... when I find myself
Copy !req
1118. doing that, I am, like,
ridiculously, stupid happy.
Copy !req
1119. Like, I do a lot of
pretty cool shit now.
Copy !req
1120. I travel all over the world,
I see all these amazing things,
Copy !req
1121. but I'm never happier than when
I'm standing in-in the backyard
Copy !req
1122. being, like, TV dad, because...
Copy !req
1123. I-I feel normal.
Copy !req
1124. You know?
Whatever the hell that means.
Copy !req
1125. Yeah, what does that mean?
Copy !req
1126. I live a very strange life.
Copy !req
1127. I try to make up for it
when I go home
Copy !req
1128. by cooking aggressively.
Copy !req
1129. Like, I try to kill people
around me with food.
Copy !req
1130. You know, like,
"Eat, eat, you know.
Copy !req
1131. Why aren't you eating?
Don't you love me?"
Copy !req
1132. He straddled the world of
Copy !req
1133. being the domestic guy,
Copy !req
1134. but that pull for
the experience outside—
Copy !req
1135. you know, like as if
it was gonna slip away
Copy !req
1136. if he wasn't there—
was equally as great.
Copy !req
1137. He was always rushing.
Copy !req
1138. He was rushing everywhere.
Copy !req
1139. He was rushing
to get into the scene.
Copy !req
1140. He was rushing to get
out of the scene.
Copy !req
1141. Rushing to get
out of the country.
Copy !req
1142. Rushing to go somewhere next,
even if he had nowhere to go.
Copy !req
1143. Traveling the Earth alone
Copy !req
1144. is what I'm accustomed to
being on a tour.
Copy !req
1145. And as fathers,
we bonded over that feeling
Copy !req
1146. and feeling like,
Copy !req
1147. "I'm here to give
a piece of myself away."
Copy !req
1148. And, um, as the years go on,
that can be difficult.
Copy !req
1149. Close.
- The wind. That was the wind.
Copy !req
1150. Right. We got to, we got to,
you know, factor that in.
Copy !req
1151. There we go.
Copy !req
1152. And we just hit it off.
Copy !req
1153. What do you call
an eternal optimist?
Copy !req
1154. An accordion player
with a beeper.
Copy !req
1155. It's hard to make friends.
Copy !req
1156. To be at the tip of the spear,
Copy !req
1157. it's like
asking for loneliness.
Copy !req
1158. Oh!
Copy !req
1159. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1160. That motherfucker
bled out already.
Copy !req
1161. Straight to the jugular.
Copy !req
1162. Yeah.
Can you make it three?
Copy !req
1163. - Well, cheers to that.
- Cheers.
Copy !req
1164. I always think of, "Yo, ho, ho,
a pirate's life for me."
Copy !req
1165. That's-that's what I think.
Copy !req
1166. I mean, that's...
Copy !req
1167. But you've been,
you've been touring for...?
Copy !req
1168. Since I was 18, yeah.
Copy !req
1169. You know?
Copy !req
1170. You know, but it's weird.
Copy !req
1171. I-I'm home for— I'm
ridiculously happy for a week,
Copy !req
1172. and then I start getting,
like, crazy,
Copy !req
1173. like I should be
doing something.
Copy !req
1174. I call it the bittersweet curse.
Copy !req
1175. Nothing feels better
than going home.
Copy !req
1176. And nothing feels better
than leaving home.
Copy !req
1177. - Yeah, you got a point.
- You know?
Copy !req
1178. I loved watching him
pick up influence
Copy !req
1179. as he went along through life.
Copy !req
1180. He's a great
American storyteller,
Copy !req
1181. and he started off as a voyeur.
Copy !req
1182. He's watching these
and detailing these great tales
Copy !req
1183. of what you're seeing.
Copy !req
1184. And then, all of a sudden,
he's starting to live
Copy !req
1185. those stories
that he's telling.
Copy !req
1186. He's starting to look inside.
Copy !req
1187. "I think I said earlier
Copy !req
1188. "that I was gonna
tell you the truth.
Copy !req
1189. "This is part of it.
Copy !req
1190. "I was unqualified for the job.
Copy !req
1191. "I was in deep waters
and fast-flowing ones at that.
Copy !req
1192. The currents could change
at any time without warning."
Copy !req
1193. "Like a lot of travelers,
I started to turn inward
Copy !req
1194. "from the view out the window,
Copy !req
1195. "started to see
what was going on out there
Copy !req
1196. through an
ever-narrowing lens."
Copy !req
1197. It is written
that I should be loyal
Copy !req
1198. to the nightmare of my choice.
Copy !req
1199. I think I now understand
what that means.
Copy !req
1200. You want to be my pilot?
Copy !req
1201. Yeah.
Copy !req
1202. I don't see what the problem is.
Copy !req
1203. Weather looks fine to me.
Copy !req
1204. I'm sure we'll be fine.
Copy !req
1205. Wow. Nice.
Copy !req
1206. Security situation good,
weather not so good.
Copy !req
1207. Are you frightened, by the way?
Copy !req
1208. Yeah, look at him. Look at him.
He's scared shitless.
Copy !req
1209. I don't like flying.
Copy !req
1210. I think that the Congo was,
Copy !req
1211. without question,
Copy !req
1212. the most dangerous place
we ever made the show.
Copy !req
1213. It was something
that couldn't be done.
Copy !req
1214. That was a big part of it, and
we're always gonna figure out
Copy !req
1215. a way to do something
that couldn't be done.
Copy !req
1216. Everyone gets
everything he wants.
Copy !req
1217. I wanted to see the Congo.
Copy !req
1218. And for my sins, they let me.
Copy !req
1219. This is a place
I read about as a boy.
Copy !req
1220. InHeart of Darkness,
Conrad described it as
Copy !req
1221. a twisting snake with its head
in the Atlantic Ocean
Copy !req
1222. and its tail buried deep
in Africa's heart.
Copy !req
1223. Congo was a fulfillment
Copy !req
1224. of an enormous dream.
Copy !req
1225. In our little fantasy,
we were having
Copy !req
1226. our Apocalypse Nowmoment.
Copy !req
1227. We've rented a trusty vessel,
Copy !req
1228. and I shall dub thee
the Captain Willard.
Copy !req
1229. Tony was finding ways
Copy !req
1230. to push himself towards his not
just understanding of the world
Copy !req
1231. but understanding of himself.
Copy !req
1232. Are you an assassin?
Copy !req
1233. I'm a soldier.
Copy !req
1234. It's like,
which character is he
Copy !req
1235. in that film?
Copy !req
1236. They say
my methods are unsound.
Copy !req
1237. Are my methods unsound?
Copy !req
1238. Do you think
my methods are unsound?
Copy !req
1239. I haven't seen
any method at all, Colonel.
Copy !req
1240. In Congo, he got to be someone
Copy !req
1241. who has pushed himself into
the lunacy of a world
Copy !req
1242. without law,
Copy !req
1243. without order,
without structure.
Copy !req
1244. He got to stand there
Copy !req
1245. with a three-foot machete
Copy !req
1246. and direct the assassination
of chickens.
Copy !req
1247. When you get
really deep into travel,
Copy !req
1248. I think there's an itch
that you want to scratch
Copy !req
1249. that is out on the edge
of that envelope,
Copy !req
1250. where chaos rules.
Copy !req
1251. Because it strips away all of
the functional artifice of
Copy !req
1252. how we go through our life,
Copy !req
1253. and it leaves you with
just the sensory experience.
Copy !req
1254. Anthony Bourdain,
Copy !req
1255. the renowned chef
and best-selling author,
Copy !req
1256. has a new program,
Parts Unknown,
Copy !req
1257. and it showcases
Bourdain's gift
Copy !req
1258. for finding the essence
of a country or a culture.
Copy !req
1259. Is it about the journalism,
Copy !req
1260. or is it about the tourism?
Copy !req
1261. Is it about the people?
Is it about the food?
Copy !req
1262. It's a strange combination of
Copy !req
1263. food, politics
Copy !req
1264. and a decisively personal
point of view.
Copy !req
1265. His reports from Israel,
the Palestinian territories,
Copy !req
1266. Mexico and Lyon, France,
were simply superb.
Copy !req
1267. He's traveled roughly
Copy !req
1268. 662,000 miles—
Copy !req
1269. around the globe
Copy !req
1270. 26 times.
Copy !req
1271. Uh, you know, I actually
went to Tangier
Copy !req
1272. because you had gone there.
Copy !req
1273. And you've had
a big impact on me.
Copy !req
1274. Tony was very aware
Copy !req
1275. of his own ability to promote
other people's voices.
Copy !req
1276. But I do think that,
Copy !req
1277. even though we moved to CNN,
Copy !req
1278. he won a Peabody
and several Emmys,
Copy !req
1279. he began to question who was
benefiting from these shows.
Copy !req
1280. Okay, so we're just gonna
set up a shot with the TV.
Copy !req
1281. Me laying on the bed,
watching CNN.
Copy !req
1282. Okay.
- Libya news.
Copy !req
1283. This is CNN.
Copy !req
1284. It is Friday, January the 25th.
Copy !req
1285. I'm Kristie Lu Stout. This is...
Copy !req
1286. I'm not a news fan.
Copy !req
1287. I'm not a journalist.
Copy !req
1288. I'm not an advocate.
I'm not an educator.
Copy !req
1289. I'm not looking
to inspire or, uh...
Copy !req
1290. I don't have
a political agenda.
Copy !req
1291. If anything, I like very much
going to a place
Copy !req
1292. thinking one thing
and being completely wrong
Copy !req
1293. about all of it.
Copy !req
1294. He was a journalist
and he was political,
Copy !req
1295. but he was a storyteller.
Copy !req
1296. And he didn't realize, I think,
Copy !req
1297. how political he was.
Copy !req
1298. We tend to see places
Copy !req
1299. in the Middle East and Africa
in particular—
Copy !req
1300. we only see them
when bad things happen.
Copy !req
1301. If you just follow the news,
you'll be reminded about
Copy !req
1302. kidnappings in Algeria,
unrest in Tunisia,
Copy !req
1303. terrorist cells to the south,
deadly riots in Egypt,
Copy !req
1304. and of course Islamic extremist
attacks in Benghazi
Copy !req
1305. that killed
the U.S. ambassador.
Copy !req
1306. All those things
are very real concerns.
Copy !req
1307. But if you only look
at what's on the news,
Copy !req
1308. you can miss maybe
what's a bigger picture.
Copy !req
1309. You can literally see it
Copy !req
1310. as he goes and travels
more and more and more.
Copy !req
1311. It was almost never
about food, you know?
Copy !req
1312. I think it was about Tony
Copy !req
1313. learning how to be
a better person.
Copy !req
1314. You know, I try
to emulate Christ
Copy !req
1315. in small ways
every day.
Copy !req
1316. You do?
Copy !req
1317. Yeah.
Copy !req
1318. And I mean that in a,
Copy !req
1319. in a completely
non-disrespectful way.
Copy !req
1320. No, no, I can imagine.
Copy !req
1321. I mean, you're trying.
Copy !req
1322. You are inspiring
so many people with the show.
Copy !req
1323. You have a good karma.
Copy !req
1324. Can't believe you say that.
Copy !req
1325. - Yeah.
- Good karma?
Copy !req
1326. I think so.
Copy !req
1327. Well...
Copy !req
1328. - Doesn't this concern you...
- This is a good karma.
Copy !req
1329. as a Buddhist?
Copy !req
1330. - Look we're sitting here
in Provence. -Yeah.
Copy !req
1331. - So?
- Wait a minute.
Copy !req
1332. - We just had
this fantastic meal. -Yeah.
Copy !req
1333. We're moving on
to the 2011 after the 2010.
Copy !req
1334. Life, admittedly for you,
has been pretty sweet.
Copy !req
1335. Yeah.
Copy !req
1336. - Isn't that worrying to you?
- No.
Copy !req
1337. We're sitting in Provence.
It's like a wine label.
Copy !req
1338. The next life cannot possibly
be better than this.
Copy !req
1339. It's probably gonna suck.
Copy !req
1340. Enjoy every minute
of this now, Eric.
Copy !req
1341. And pray.
Copy !req
1342. Pray, pray that this is it,
Copy !req
1343. because if you're right
and there is a next life,
Copy !req
1344. we are fucked, my friend.
Copy !req
1345. I may come back
as a sea cucumber,
Copy !req
1346. but you're coming back
as, like, a Yorkie.
Copy !req
1347. Or, you know, if you're lucky.
Copy !req
1348. I'll take the Yorkie.
Copy !req
1349. At the end of the day,
Tony's dark as fuck, man.
Copy !req
1350. Give you an example.
Copy !req
1351. Like, everyone asked
Tony's fucking favorite music,
Copy !req
1352. and he would always give
the same bullshit answers,
Copy !req
1353. like, uh, uh, "96 Mysterios"
or that fucking song.
Copy !req
1354. - He loved that song.
"96 Tears."
Copy !req
1355. "96 Tears."
Copy !req
1356. And he loved, um, "Super Fly"
Copy !req
1357. and, um, and Curtis Mayfield's
soundtrack.
Copy !req
1358. There's no downers
in the fucking bunch.
Copy !req
1359. This was what Tony told me
was his favorite song.
Copy !req
1360. He loved this fucking song.
Copy !req
1361. It's a great song.
Copy !req
1362. But it's heroin music.
Copy !req
1363. In the early '70s,
Copy !req
1364. this is where I lived.
Copy !req
1365. You know, back then,
if you brought us heroin,
Copy !req
1366. we would've said,
"Ah, cool.
Copy !req
1367. I'll totally— I would like
to try some of that."
Copy !req
1368. It wasn't like I fell into it
or accidentally got addicted
Copy !req
1369. or, you know,
"Oh, really, it's addicting?
Copy !req
1370. Gee, how'd that happen?"
No, I knew.
Copy !req
1371. He never really dealt with
Copy !req
1372. the insecurity
and all the issues
Copy !req
1373. that put him
down that road to begin with.
Copy !req
1374. You know, it's a lot easier
Copy !req
1375. when you talk to Choe
about this,
Copy !req
1376. 'cause, like,
that motherfucker is so dark.
Copy !req
1377. People forget
Anthony Bourdain was a junkie.
Copy !req
1378. Like, he's a drug addict,
Copy !req
1379. and I'm also a junkie.
Copy !req
1380. I don't do drugs,
but I do everything else.
Copy !req
1381. Overeaters Anonymous,
Debtors Anonymous,
Copy !req
1382. Gamblers Anonymous,
Sex Addicts Anonymous,
Copy !req
1383. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.
Copy !req
1384. Uh, I-I go to all the meetings.
Copy !req
1385. I'll tell you something
Copy !req
1386. really shameful about myself.
Copy !req
1387. The first time I shot up,
Copy !req
1388. I looked at myself
in the mirror with a big grin.
Copy !req
1389. You know,
something was missing in me.
Copy !req
1390. Some part of me
wanted to be a dope fiend.
Copy !req
1391. My whole life was
leading up to that point.
Copy !req
1392. In my mind,
Copy !req
1393. it was my first step
towards being an artist.
Copy !req
1394. Do you think a-a certain level
of dissatisfaction
Copy !req
1395. or unhappiness
is an integral part
Copy !req
1396. of the creative process?
Copy !req
1397. I think
even great art can be created
Copy !req
1398. when you're happy, but I think
the best art in the universe
Copy !req
1399. is created through
intense suffering.
Copy !req
1400. So then, do you put yourself
in a situation
Copy !req
1401. where you're constantly in pain?
Copy !req
1402. And the answer
to that question is yes.
Copy !req
1403. That's just about
everybody I know.
Copy !req
1404. I don't know
what this says about me.
Copy !req
1405. I think it was one of
Copy !req
1406. the first conversations
I ever had with him.
Copy !req
1407. I was like, "Hey, I know
I'm just meeting you,
Copy !req
1408. "but I-I don't know
one heroin addict
Copy !req
1409. "that has quit
cold turkey besides you.
Copy !req
1410. Tell me how you did it."
Copy !req
1411. I got through, but,
you know, my case, it was like
Copy !req
1412. I looked in a mirror and I...
Copy !req
1413. I saw somebody worth saving, um,
Copy !req
1414. or that I wanted to at least
try real hard and save.
Copy !req
1415. Um...
Copy !req
1416. you know, nobody...
Copy !req
1417. nobody saved me.
Copy !req
1418. And he goes, "You just work."
Copy !req
1419. When he told me that,
I bought into it
Copy !req
1420. when I first met him.
Copy !req
1421. And then
as I got to know him more,
Copy !req
1422. I realized it jumped.
Copy !req
1423. The addiction jumped.
Copy !req
1424. When he threw himself
into something,
Copy !req
1425. he threw himself completely.
Copy !req
1426. Jujitsu was a good one
Copy !req
1427. because he got super healthy.
Copy !req
1428. He looked great.
He stopped smoking.
Copy !req
1429. He felt energized.
Copy !req
1430. He felt powerful.
Copy !req
1431. Oh.
Copy !req
1432. Abort.
Copy !req
1433. I started at 58.
Copy !req
1434. My wife is
a fairly high-level competitor
Copy !req
1435. and, uh, trains every...
Copy !req
1436. Higher level than you are?
Copy !req
1437. W-Way, way beyond
Copy !req
1438. - where I'll ever be.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1439. Ottavia wanted to be able
Copy !req
1440. to kill anyone
who came at their daughter.
Copy !req
1441. So that's where
the initial jujitsu interest
Copy !req
1442. in that family came from, and
it was a good thing for Tony
Copy !req
1443. to be obsessed with
for a while.
Copy !req
1444. There is this aspect
of problem-solving
Copy !req
1445. under pressure that it was
really appealing to him.
Copy !req
1446. Step over!
Copy !req
1447. But anyone
who gets into jujitsu
Copy !req
1448. becomes, like, impossible
to be around.
Copy !req
1449. I know because...
from experience.
Copy !req
1450. At a certain point,
you're like,
Copy !req
1451. "Dude, come on, stop talking
about fucking jujitsu."
Copy !req
1452. I don't know anything
about jujitsu.
Copy !req
1453. Like, I can't have
this conversation,
Copy !req
1454. and yet I'm on like hour 150
talking to you about jujitsu.
Copy !req
1455. I mean, his attention and focus
Copy !req
1456. was so strong, but
there was always a timeline.
Copy !req
1457. I don't think there was
anything that would have
Copy !req
1458. lasted forever in his world.
Copy !req
1459. No person, place,
thing, interest.
Copy !req
1460. I have to show you first.
Copy !req
1461. Can-can I show you once? Okay.
Copy !req
1462. Then you skip one
and you go down.
Copy !req
1463. Then you skip one
and you go down.
Copy !req
1464. Then you come back up and...
Copy !req
1465. It always seemed like
what he wanted was,
Copy !req
1466. you know, this, uh, idyllic
picture of, like, you know,
Copy !req
1467. a family and ordinary life.
Copy !req
1468. No.
- Come on, you were doing it...
Copy !req
1469. But then when he got it,
Copy !req
1470. I don't know if it was...
Copy !req
1471. I don't know.
Copy !req
1472. Yeah.
Copy !req
1473. After a while, maybe
that wasn't enough anymore.
Copy !req
1474. You devoted
your book to family.
Copy !req
1475. Yep.
Copy !req
1476. The joys of being normal.
Copy !req
1477. And now you've-you've split.
Copy !req
1478. - Yep.
- So I just, like—
Copy !req
1479. are you rethinking about
being normal
Copy !req
1480. - or where's your...
- Well, I mean, what is normal?
Copy !req
1481. I think, you know, what does
the American family look like?
Copy !req
1482. I mean, I travel
250 days a year.
Copy !req
1483. You know, how normal
could I ever hope to be?
Copy !req
1484. Tony and I had been pretty much
Copy !req
1485. living separate
under the same roof for...
Copy !req
1486. for quite some time.
Copy !req
1487. You know,
even if we didn't work out
Copy !req
1488. as a married couple, you know,
Copy !req
1489. we're still really good friends
and our focus was Ariane.
Copy !req
1490. That romantic love
kind of dissipated
Copy !req
1491. after he started
traveling so intensely,
Copy !req
1492. and then we couldn't follow him.
Copy !req
1493. It flowers once
every five years.
Copy !req
1494. That's all.
Copy !req
1495. I'll be back
before it flowers again.
Copy !req
1496. Cross my heart.
Copy !req
1497. He was devastated.
Copy !req
1498. He was losing his home base.
Copy !req
1499. And it left him
incredibly vulnerable.
Copy !req
1500. I think Tony did blame himself.
Copy !req
1501. And I think
it also left him wondering
Copy !req
1502. whether or not he was lovable.
Copy !req
1503. Is it worse
to be someplace awful
Copy !req
1504. when you're by yourself
or someplace really nice
Copy !req
1505. that you can't share
with anyone?
Copy !req
1506. I mean,
I have an email that he sent me
Copy !req
1507. that-that haunts me
Copy !req
1508. that was just straight-up...
Copy !req
1509. you know, out of the blue.
Copy !req
1510. "David, this is
a crazy thing to ask..."
Copy !req
1511. "... but I'm curious
Copy !req
1512. and my life
is sort of shit now."
Copy !req
1513. "You are successful
and I am successful.
Copy !req
1514. "And I'm wondering:
Copy !req
1515. are you happy?"
Copy !req
1516. I know how hard
that must've been for him
Copy !req
1517. to even write that email.
Copy !req
1518. To-to reach out to someone
and be like,
Copy !req
1519. "Hey, man, I'm not doing well."
Copy !req
1520. The era of his life with
Copy !req
1521. his child and Ottavia...
Copy !req
1522. I think it was sort of an
interruption of his trajectory.
Copy !req
1523. Did he change course
in the last two years?
Copy !req
1524. No, he got back on track,
Copy !req
1525. which was not
the greatest track.
Copy !req
1526. Hi, Tony. How are you?
Copy !req
1527. I'm all right. Here?
Copy !req
1528. Outstanding. Good.
Copy !req
1529. That's awesome.
Copy !req
1530. - I even brought a note—
Copy !req
1531. I took notes.
Copy !req
1532. - I was thinking of all my...
Copy !req
1533. all of my ailments and problems.
Copy !req
1534. I haven't done this since
Copy !req
1535. I was, um...
Copy !req
1536. uh, I was a teenager.
Copy !req
1537. My parents caught me with drugs,
Copy !req
1538. and as part of the deal,
I saw a therapist briefly.
Copy !req
1539. And what did you feel about it?
Copy !req
1540. It's-it's exhausting.
Copy !req
1541. I mean, I do tend to have
Copy !req
1542. a sort of a manic personality.
Copy !req
1543. Everything is going
really, really great
Copy !req
1544. or it's not going great.
Copy !req
1545. It can happen at any time.
It's a random thing.
Copy !req
1546. One minute, I'm okay,
everything's going all right,
Copy !req
1547. and then suddenly it's—
one little thing
Copy !req
1548. just sort of sets me off,
and then I find myself,
Copy !req
1549. uh, you know,
increasingly, uh, thinking—
Copy !req
1550. I do, I do, I do,
I think about, like,
Copy !req
1551. momentary fantasies of harming
other people or myself.
Copy !req
1552. Like I want to kill somebody
or choke them
Copy !req
1553. or break their arms.
Copy !req
1554. Uh, I think about that a lot.
Copy !req
1555. I'd like to be happier.
Copy !req
1556. I'd like to be able
to be calmer.
Copy !req
1557. I'd like to be able to relax.
Copy !req
1558. I'd like to be able to,
you know, look out the window
Copy !req
1559. and say, "Yay, life is good."
Copy !req
1560. - And you don't?
- No.
Copy !req
1561. Never?
Copy !req
1562. Uh, maybe a few seconds
here and there.
Copy !req
1563. There is a line
Copy !req
1564. during your life of loneliness
Copy !req
1565. or-or feeling like
"I want to kill somebody."
Copy !req
1566. I think that maybe
you should start thinking,
Copy !req
1567. "Do you really want
to change anything?"
Copy !req
1568. Do you really want to-to change
Copy !req
1569. the way you feel?
Copy !req
1570. I suspect it's too late.
Copy !req
1571. I love this car.
Copy !req
1572. - I'm having car envy.
Copy !req
1573. We were both, like,
Copy !req
1574. constantly talking about
that movieVanishing Point.
Copy !req
1575. He liked fast
cars, as well.
Copy !req
1576. I love fast cars.
Copy !req
1577. And then we became pen
pals really for years
Copy !req
1578. and, um, talked
about everything.
Copy !req
1579. His whole entire personality
Copy !req
1580. was that of a searcher.
Copy !req
1581. I just know that he was
definitely searching
Copy !req
1582. for something, and-and...
Copy !req
1583. it was kind of agony for him.
Copy !req
1584. It's this relentless instinct
Copy !req
1585. to fuck up a good thing.
Copy !req
1586. I think it's something
that people on TV,
Copy !req
1587. people who write,
people who cook, share.
Copy !req
1588. This difficulty in giving love
and receiving love—
Copy !req
1589. they just don't quite know
how to do it.
Copy !req
1590. A lot of people
loved him a lot.
Copy !req
1591. I don't know if he believed it.
Copy !req
1592. So, what do you think?
Copy !req
1593. I mean, in a metaphysical way,
Copy !req
1594. - when you look back on
your life... Yeah.
Copy !req
1595. for me, I always feel
Copy !req
1596. this little unease,
like, you know...
Copy !req
1597. You feel you haven't
suffered enough yet
Copy !req
1598. - or you haven't done enough...
- How the fuck did this happen?
Copy !req
1599. - Or yeah.
You know?
Copy !req
1600. - How-How'd this happen,
you know? -No.
Copy !req
1601. No, I know.
Copy !req
1602. I'm still curious.
Copy !req
1603. You seem like a curious person.
Copy !req
1604. - It's my only virtue.
- You're— There you go.
Copy !req
1605. - All right.
Copy !req
1606. Curious is a good thing to be.
Copy !req
1607. Given your life...
Copy !req
1608. what thrills you?
Copy !req
1609. What just thrills the shit
out of you now?
Copy !req
1610. Uh, this is very embarrassing,
but— It's really embar—
Copy !req
1611. Being loved
and actually appreciating
Copy !req
1612. the people that are
giving that to me.
Copy !req
1613. Whenever you guys are ready,
Copy !req
1614. - the cameras are rolling.
All right.
Copy !req
1615. We're ready to go.
Copy !req
1616. All right, you're up?
Copy !req
1617. So, uh, where are we?
Copy !req
1618. But don't mention
the name of the place.
Copy !req
1619. - I mean, turning the napkin
over... -No. Why?
Copy !req
1620. Well, we don't— you don't want
to blow this place up.
Copy !req
1621. I don't give a shit.
Copy !req
1622. I mean, you've been
eating here for how long?
Copy !req
1623. Since I was a,
since I was a kid.
Copy !req
1624. So you would come in here
and see nothing but Americans?
Copy !req
1625. Nothing but?
Copy !req
1626. - Nothing but?
- Well, yeah.
Copy !req
1627. - I mean, just an army of...
- Well, yes,
Copy !req
1628. so nobody busts my balls.
Copy !req
1629. Okay, then. We are at the...
Copy !req
1630. So, giving up on that.
Copy !req
1631. Okay. There we go.
Copy !req
1632. H-How many generations
of filmmakers in your family?
Copy !req
1633. Mm, a lot.
Copy !req
1634. Cheers.
Copy !req
1635. When Tony met Asia, he's like,
Copy !req
1636. "She's the best.
Oh, my God, she's so great."
Copy !req
1637. You know, and, like,
when you were in high school
Copy !req
1638. and you got laid for
the first time or something.
Copy !req
1639. You know,
I'm happiest when life is
Copy !req
1640. kind of like a film.
Copy !req
1641. So, y-you're happy
in the illusion.
Copy !req
1642. - 'Cause film is an illusion.
- Yes.
Copy !req
1643. Yeah, I am.
Copy !req
1644. No, me, too. I-I understand you.
Copy !req
1645. He seemed
really happy with her.
Copy !req
1646. You know, I was like, well,
Copy !req
1647. he found someone
he wants to be with.
Copy !req
1648. You know, I'm happy for him.
Copy !req
1649. He told me
that she was very insecure
Copy !req
1650. about their relationship,
so he just asked me
Copy !req
1651. to stop posting pictures of us
on social media.
Copy !req
1652. And-and I think
he really thought
Copy !req
1653. he was doing the right thing
Copy !req
1654. to make sure that the person
he loved felt secure.
Copy !req
1655. Is that a normal urge?
Copy !req
1656. For humans?
I want to be normal?
Copy !req
1657. I want to be
like everybody else?
Copy !req
1658. I kind of wanted to be
like everybody else
Copy !req
1659. when I was a kid,
at least for a while.
Copy !req
1660. I-I didn't understand
why I couldn't be.
Copy !req
1661. I think people are happier
Copy !req
1662. when they feel like
they belong somewhere.
Copy !req
1663. - I just, I-I...
- That's why I'm never happy
Copy !req
1664. because I feel I never belong.
Copy !req
1665. I knew who she was,
Copy !req
1666. but he never would use
her name.
Copy !req
1667. He would say "crazy Italian
actress" in all the emails.
Copy !req
1668. All I know is that
he wrote to me a few times
Copy !req
1669. and said that it was
gonna end very, very badly,
Copy !req
1670. and that was way back.
Copy !req
1671. Um, he knew it.
Copy !req
1672. Oh!
Copy !req
1673. I bring you to the best places.
Copy !req
1674. - Fuck Michelin.
Copy !req
1675. Michelin?
Copy !req
1676. His last relationship,
Copy !req
1677. I guess when you look at it,
it's not that surprising.
Copy !req
1678. In many ways,
it feels elliptical
Copy !req
1679. from the-the very beginning.
Copy !req
1680. Now, some of you might ask,
Copy !req
1681. "How is this food-related?"
Fuck if I know.
Copy !req
1682. I guess if I crushed
my skull on a rock,
Copy !req
1683. parts of me will become
part of the food chain.
Copy !req
1684. It was one that had,
Copy !req
1685. at its center, um, extremes.
Copy !req
1686. It's as if he can't feel
in the mid-zone.
Copy !req
1687. You know, life is about
Copy !req
1688. finding a cliff
worth jumping off.
Copy !req
1689. I felt he was like,
Copy !req
1690. "I'm gonna look for something
feral and wild."
Copy !req
1691. Perhaps that is
something to do with age
Copy !req
1692. and all of a sudden
finding yourself alone.
Copy !req
1693. This is called, um...
Copy !req
1694. - Are you guys up?
- Why are you filming me?
Copy !req
1695. This is called
Copy !req
1696. "Our Wolf Lady of
the Wolf Flowers."
Copy !req
1697. Ah, that's great.
Copy !req
1698. You know, I have
a-a John Lurie over my bed.
Copy !req
1699. I saw. No, you posted it.
Copy !req
1700. That was nice
that you posted that.
Copy !req
1701. No, I love it.
It makes me very, very happy.
Copy !req
1702. - Does it?
- Yes, it does.
Copy !req
1703. So he had
a dark sense of humor.
Copy !req
1704. He wasn't Edgar Allan Poe.
You know what I mean? He—
Copy !req
1705. There was
a lot of light around him.
Copy !req
1706. There really was.
Copy !req
1707. Bring another one.
Copy !req
1708. No. I mean, especially, like,
I'm away and I come back
Copy !req
1709. - and I walk into my room...
- There it is, yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
1710. I-It feels—
the room vibrates at a frequency
Copy !req
1711. that makes me comfortable
and-and happy.
Copy !req
1712. That's cool.
Copy !req
1713. Thank you.
Eggs, the perfect food.
Copy !req
1714. - Thank you, sir.
- Eat that.
Copy !req
1715. We were supposed to have lunch.
Copy !req
1716. And I said,
"I want to go somewhere quiet
Copy !req
1717. where nobody knows us."
Copy !req
1718. And he just sort of stopped
in his tracks and said,
Copy !req
1719. "I'm becoming agoraphobic."
Copy !req
1720. And then I saw
the pain in his face.
Copy !req
1721. Maybe he needed some time away
from it all to reflect a minute
Copy !req
1722. and then start again
kind of thing, you know?
Copy !req
1723. I don't...
Copy !req
1724. It seemed like he was about
to go on to something else.
Copy !req
1725. His life started
to feel smaller and smaller.
Copy !req
1726. He couldn't go as many places.
Copy !req
1727. He couldn't be
out in public as much.
Copy !req
1728. I could see him whittle away.
Copy !req
1729. So, places like
the empty quarter
Copy !req
1730. of the Arabian Desert started
to really resonate for him.
Copy !req
1731. To just sit on the edge of
Copy !req
1732. the largest sand desert in the
world and stare out into it...
Copy !req
1733. feeling like it's something
Copy !req
1734. that's bigger than him
and not about him.
Copy !req
1735. He often talked about how,
Copy !req
1736. in an ideal world,
he wouldn't be in the show.
Copy !req
1737. Uh, it would be
his point of view,
Copy !req
1738. like a camera
moving through space,
Copy !req
1739. without having
to see him at all.
Copy !req
1740. "Travel isn't always pretty.
Copy !req
1741. "You go away. You learn.
Copy !req
1742. "You get scarred, marked,
changed in the process.
Copy !req
1743. It even breaks your heart."
Copy !req
1744. He was very stressed
Copy !req
1745. and very weary
and very exhausted.
Copy !req
1746. He did talk about quitting.
Copy !req
1747. It happened like
a couple of years ago.
Copy !req
1748. He asked to see
Chris and I at a bar.
Copy !req
1749. It was very dramatic.
Copy !req
1750. He was like, "I can't live
my life like this anymore."
Copy !req
1751. "I'm done. I'm done with this.
I'm done with you people.
Copy !req
1752. "Every band comes to an end.
Copy !req
1753. It's time for us to break up
and go our separate ways."
Copy !req
1754. "You know,
I've broken one family.
Copy !req
1755. "I'm in this other relationship
that I care very deeply about
Copy !req
1756. and I want to make it work."
Copy !req
1757. And Lydia looked
at Tony and said,
Copy !req
1758. "Then go do it.
Copy !req
1759. "Go do it.
Copy !req
1760. "Don't sit here
and talk about it and whine.
Copy !req
1761. "Get up and go. Leave.
Copy !req
1762. "Move to Italy, set up.
Copy !req
1763. We will support you.
We will be your friend. Go."
Copy !req
1764. "Like,
if you're done with this,
Copy !req
1765. it's okay."
Copy !req
1766. I don't know. Maybe he was
expecting us to, like,
Copy !req
1767. grab him and say like,
"No, don't go.
Copy !req
1768. It's not over. What can we do?"
Copy !req
1769. He couldn't move.
Copy !req
1770. It's really kind of sad.
Copy !req
1771. It's like,
Copy !req
1772. "Then sit the fuck down and
let's talk this thing through."
Copy !req
1773. And we said, "We'll figure out
a way to make this thing work,
Copy !req
1774. you know, so it's good for you."
Copy !req
1775. Okay. Here we go.
Copy !req
1776. "Hong Kong.
Copy !req
1777. To fall in love with Asia—"
Copy !req
1778. Oof, Asia.
Copy !req
1779. "To fall in love with Asia
is one thing.
Copy !req
1780. "To fall in love in Asia
is another.
Copy !req
1781. "Both have happened to me.
Copy !req
1782. "It's a gift, a dream, a curse,
Copy !req
1783. "the best thing,
the happiest thing,
Copy !req
1784. "yet also the loneliest thing
in the world.
Copy !req
1785. "I've been to Hong Kong
many times before,
Copy !req
1786. but not like this."
Copy !req
1787. If I die before
I'm 40 years old,
Copy !req
1788. that shoot probably had
something to do with it.
Copy !req
1789. At the last second,
Copy !req
1790. the director gets sick.
Copy !req
1791. I had my gallbladder removed.
Copy !req
1792. Michael's gallbladder,
I swear to God.
Copy !req
1793. So, obviously I can't go,
and then Tony immediately,
Copy !req
1794. like, sees an in.
Copy !req
1795. He gets them to all agree
that Asia should direct this.
Copy !req
1796. W-Well, like, okay.
Copy !req
1797. In-in man— in some ways,
on this side,
Copy !req
1798. this is giving him some kind
of, like, intense resurgence
Copy !req
1799. of, like, creative energy.
Copy !req
1800. And so we-we ran with that.
Copy !req
1801. - Asia?
- I think...
Copy !req
1802. Back in one sec.
Copy !req
1803. We're getting too much
good stuff...
Copy !req
1804. I know, but...
Copy !req
1805. in too short
a period of time.
Copy !req
1806. Let's mo— let's move
and-and move. Yeah.
Copy !req
1807. And w-we're getting too much.
Copy !req
1808. It's like, I mean,
Copy !req
1809. at this point, it's like,
to everybody, I'm thinking,
Copy !req
1810. "Stop saying
so much great stuff."
Copy !req
1811. Oh, my God.
- So happy.
Copy !req
1812. - Food's ready.
Copy !req
1813. Asia, the food's ready.
Copy !req
1814. It seemed like
so many years of us
Copy !req
1815. shaping and creating
this thing, all of a sudden,
Copy !req
1816. was thrown out the window,
Copy !req
1817. and it was just, you know,
anything goes.
Copy !req
1818. So what is your...
Copy !req
1819. what is your hope?
Copy !req
1820. What do you hope will happen
to change your situation?
Copy !req
1821. To-to be honest, um,
I'm not big fan of hope.
Copy !req
1822. Um, hope is...
Copy !req
1823. Hold on one second.
Copy !req
1824. Let me reset.
Copy !req
1825. In the middle
of this heartfelt scene
Copy !req
1826. with these two asylum seekers,
we're stopping...
Copy !req
1827. I hold my hand
or h-hold the thought?
Copy !req
1828. and telling them to hold
Copy !req
1829. their thought
and to, like, redo it,
Copy !req
1830. as if we're filming
a movie or something.
Copy !req
1831. - Uh, add one.
- Three.
Copy !req
1832. 35 milli— uh, centimeters.
Copy !req
1833. You know, breaking the natural,
Copy !req
1834. heartfelt conversations
Copy !req
1835. that are not
easy conversations to have,
Copy !req
1836. he would have
never, ever done that.
Copy !req
1837. Let's go. Ready to go.
Copy !req
1838. I'm sorry, do it again.
Copy !req
1839. Asia?
Copy !req
1840. What happened in Hong Kong
Copy !req
1841. was— listen.
Copy !req
1842. We-we were trying
to help our friend.
Copy !req
1843. And if that meant...
Copy !req
1844. um...
Copy !req
1845. doing... Yeah.
Copy !req
1846. Of everything I've done
Copy !req
1847. in my life, this was probably
the professional highlight.
Copy !req
1848. Between, uh, Asia Argento
as the director
Copy !req
1849. and Christopher Doyle as
the director of photography...
Copy !req
1850. - You're gonna give me a camera?
- Hell yeah.
Copy !req
1851. we really
did something special.
Copy !req
1852. All right,
proceed to smoke weed.
Copy !req
1853. I think I'm happy.
Copy !req
1854. Why? It's so peaceful?
Copy !req
1855. Yeah.
Copy !req
1856. This is the best shot
in the movie, by the way.
Copy !req
1857. Wow, this is fucking beautiful.
Copy !req
1858. Wait.
Copy !req
1859. I don't smile a lot
on this show, by the way,
Copy !req
1860. but I'm smiling now.
Copy !req
1861. I want to shoot you guys.
Copy !req
1862. So, tell us about your team.
Copy !req
1863. Zach, 12-year veteran.
Copy !req
1864. Zach had madeParts Unknown
Copy !req
1865. one of the most beautiful shows
on television.
Copy !req
1866. Tony's admiration for Zach
Copy !req
1867. was just kind of mind-blowing.
Copy !req
1868. In Hong Kong,
Copy !req
1869. Zach had
a differing opinion from Asia
Copy !req
1870. on what they were shooting.
Copy !req
1871. And despite having
a huge history
Copy !req
1872. and love and friendship,
he was gone.
Copy !req
1873. When Tony fired Zach,
Copy !req
1874. it was a huge red flag,
because it was like,
Copy !req
1875. if he's gonna do that
to someone like him,
Copy !req
1876. I mean, anyone
on the inner circle is
Copy !req
1877. essentially,
you know, disposable.
Copy !req
1878. Cheers.
Copy !req
1879. There was
a very sort of manic nature
Copy !req
1880. to what was going on
in that last year,
Copy !req
1881. where the highs
were very, very high.
Copy !req
1882. And the lows were very ugly.
Copy !req
1883. He was not the same person.
Copy !req
1884. Something changed
and became really heavy.
Copy !req
1885. But he started going to therapy
at a certain point,
Copy !req
1886. and I thought,
Copy !req
1887. "I can take a step back.
Copy !req
1888. "I don't have to be,
like, you know,
Copy !req
1889. always so, uh, worried
about him."
Copy !req
1890. And, uh...
Copy !req
1891. And I feel like that's
something that I will always,
Copy !req
1892. you know, felt like...
Copy !req
1893. I should have kept an eye
on him more, you know?
Copy !req
1894. He came by less and less.
Copy !req
1895. And we would see him
once a month, if we were lucky.
Copy !req
1896. You know,
he said some shit to me
Copy !req
1897. that was really—
fucking pissed me off.
Copy !req
1898. Um...
Copy !req
1899. You know, fuck it.
Copy !req
1900. You know, Tony said
I would never be a good dad.
Copy !req
1901. That fucking hurt.
Copy !req
1902. And I know he wasn't
trying to be mean, but...
Copy !req
1903. Was he projecting?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1904. Of course he was projecting.
Copy !req
1905. He did everything
he could to be the— a dad.
Copy !req
1906. I think it broke his heart
that he couldn't be
Copy !req
1907. the fucking dad
he thought he could be,
Copy !req
1908. the romantic version of a dad.
Copy !req
1909. He was such a romantic
about life,
Copy !req
1910. about anything, about families,
about life as a whole.
Copy !req
1911. Life was a romantic idea,
and reality was never gonna
Copy !req
1912. live up to exactly
how he pictured it.
Copy !req
1913. He was always gonna sort of
Copy !req
1914. set himself up
for disappointment.
Copy !req
1915. Wow.
Copy !req
1916. There's a sense of, um,
Copy !req
1917. vastness that I'm not used to.
Copy !req
1918. Does this remind you
of your cowboy movies?
Copy !req
1919. - Uh, a little bit.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1920. Yes, the lone gunman
out for vengeance
Copy !req
1921. would be riding
in a long shot over there.
Copy !req
1922. At that point, I think
Copy !req
1923. he thought his relationship
with Asia
Copy !req
1924. could provide him
with an answer.
Copy !req
1925. - But anyway...
- You're right, you're right.
Copy !req
1926. You know? His love for her
Copy !req
1927. was completely pure and safe
Copy !req
1928. and helpful and supportive.
Copy !req
1929. Which is essentially what
he was looking for from her.
Copy !req
1930. And I think
that Tony concluded that
Copy !req
1931. the way to earn her trust
Copy !req
1932. was just to go in
with his whole heart.
Copy !req
1933. Please welcome Anthony Bourdain!
Copy !req
1934. One of the more painful and-and
Copy !req
1935. I-I would think
interesting journeys
Copy !req
1936. you've taken on your life
happened just very recently
Copy !req
1937. with regards to
the Me Too movement.
Copy !req
1938. I started speaking about it
out of a sense of real rage.
Copy !req
1939. I mean, I'd like to say
that I'm— I-I arrived at—
Copy !req
1940. I was always enlightened
in some way
Copy !req
1941. or that I am an activist
or virtuous.
Copy !req
1942. But, in fact, uh, you know,
I have to be honest with myself.
Copy !req
1943. I met one extraordinary woman
Copy !req
1944. with an extraordinary
and painful story.
Copy !req
1945. Uh, suddenly it was personal.
Copy !req
1946. I think it surprised
a lot of people.
Copy !req
1947. He had never really
wanted to stick himself
Copy !req
1948. - out there for a cause.
Copy !req
1949. But Tony was like,
"I'm going to make a stand."
Copy !req
1950. A nuclear bomb is gonna fall
Copy !req
1951. on one of my worst enemies.
Copy !req
1952. Everybody's been
defending him,
Copy !req
1953. but now he's going
fucking down.
Copy !req
1954. He's going down
big-fucking-time.
Copy !req
1955. In 1997, I was raped
by Harvey Weinstein
Copy !req
1956. here at Cannes.
Copy !req
1957. And even tonight,
sitting among you,
Copy !req
1958. there are those who still
have to be held accountable
Copy !req
1959. for their conduct against women.
Copy !req
1960. Argento later
posting this photo
Copy !req
1961. on Instagram
with her fist in the air,
Copy !req
1962. the caption in French
translated,
Copy !req
1963. "The battle of women
continues."
Copy !req
1964. Asia had just come from Cannes.
Copy !req
1965. And then we're in
the Uffizi Gallery
Copy !req
1966. looking at
the beheading of Holofernes,
Copy !req
1967. which is literally
Copy !req
1968. the beheading of her rapist,
Copy !req
1969. and it's happening the day
that Weinstein gets arrested.
Copy !req
1970. Weinstein has repeatedly
Copy !req
1971. - denied all allegations.
Copy !req
1972. It was extraordinary.
Copy !req
1973. Everybody takes Medusa
as the symbol of the evil woman
Copy !req
1974. with snakes in her head,
but, uh,
Copy !req
1975. she was, uh, a rape victim.
Copy !req
1976. And she had to protect herself.
Copy !req
1977. You know, powerful,
inconvenient women who
Copy !req
1978. piss people off are inevitably
caricatured as Medusa.
Copy !req
1979. Yeah.
Copy !req
1980. I'm-I'm next.
Copy !req
1981. - I wasn't gonna say it.
Copy !req
1982. - It's only a matter of time.
- Hmm.
Copy !req
1983. It's incredible.
Copy !req
1984. Me Too!
Copy !req
1985. Our stories are true!
Copy !req
1986. We say Me Too!
Copy !req
1987. I mean, at first it was, like,
Copy !req
1988. very noble of him, you know?
Copy !req
1989. And it was a good cause.
Copy !req
1990. But then he became...
Copy !req
1991. yeah, he became
obsessed with it.
Copy !req
1992. You're talking about it in
a way that many people wouldn't.
Copy !req
1993. To the point where
Copy !req
1994. if a friend said something
Copy !req
1995. five years ago
that would maybe...
Copy !req
1996. might be offensive
to the Me Too cause,
Copy !req
1997. he would just, like,
cut them out of his life.
Copy !req
1998. I'm pretty much
Ming the Merciless
Copy !req
1999. - on this issue right now.
Right.
Copy !req
2000. Friends and creative partners—
Copy !req
2001. he threw them
under the bus without
Copy !req
2002. any sort of consultation
or anything.
Copy !req
2003. I mean, there was
not much nuance
Copy !req
2004. when it got to that point
of his life.
Copy !req
2005. What I saw was him turn
Copy !req
2006. what was a lifelong
addictive personality
Copy !req
2007. to another person.
Copy !req
2008. And that was
extremely dangerous.
Copy !req
2009. He was acting like a kid
who didn't understand
Copy !req
2010. that you're gonna
drive someone away
Copy !req
2011. if you just pile on
and pile on and pile on.
Copy !req
2012. - Yes. But-but what I...
- Really, the top ten
Copy !req
2013. hottest things you've ever done
is park in Rome.
Copy !req
2014. What, like— she was like,
"You could park here now,
Copy !req
2015. - but in an hour
you can't park here." -Yeah.
Copy !req
2016. "We can get away with this now."
Copy !req
2017. I thought, "This is
the fucking coolest thing."
Copy !req
2018. He won't stop
fucking talking about
Copy !req
2019. her ability to park.
Copy !req
2020. It's like,
"You're such a good parker.
Copy !req
2021. "Y-You park so well.
You park so well.
Copy !req
2022. You parallel park so well."
Copy !req
2023. And she's like,
"Dude, I don't want to be known
Copy !req
2024. for my parking skills."
Copy !req
2025. Like, you can see her
pulling back,
Copy !req
2026. and he just won't stop.
Copy !req
2027. We're having so much fun.
Copy !req
2028. Done.
Copy !req
2029. And it was genius, bro.
Copy !req
2030. I'm telling you,
see you at the Oscars, yo.
Copy !req
2031. Saying goodbye to him
Copy !req
2032. is the happiest I felt like
I had ever seen him.
Copy !req
2033. Huge hugs.
Copy !req
2034. He was like, "I love you.
Copy !req
2035. "I love working with you.
We got years ahead of us.
Copy !req
2036. I'm looking forward to it."
Copy !req
2037. You don't want his legacy
Copy !req
2038. to come off as, like,
somebody who...
Copy !req
2039. succumbed to, like, this...
Copy !req
2040. darkness.
Copy !req
2041. That wasn't him.
Copy !req
2042. Like, he created something
that was so important.
Copy !req
2043. And I want— that really
needs to be, like...
Copy !req
2044. That is the legacy of his life.
Copy !req
2045. Not this stupid bullshit act
that he did at the end.
Copy !req
2046. How do we come to terms with...
Copy !req
2047. what happened?
Copy !req
2048. Hmm. That's something
I don't speak about.
Copy !req
2049. What happened in France.
Copy !req
2050. Um, where to start?
Copy !req
2051. The kind of scenes that we had
and what kind of shoot it was—
Copy !req
2052. you know, it was, like,
Tony and Eric.
Copy !req
2053. Lighthearted, funny.
Copy !req
2054. Um...
Copy !req
2055. - Wow. Wow.
Copy !req
2056. Listen, man. Listen.
And you mocked me.
Copy !req
2057. We're probably
like four days in.
Copy !req
2058. Tony arrives, and he is just...
Copy !req
2059. palpably sort of like
just angry.
Copy !req
2060. And...
Copy !req
2061. the scene sort of—
it takes a dark turn.
Copy !req
2062. Uh,
they're talking about dying,
Copy !req
2063. choking on a hot dog
or something like that.
Copy !req
2064. He kind of looks back at me,
Copy !req
2065. and we kind of make
eye contact.
Copy !req
2066. In-in my memory now,
it's very desperate.
Copy !req
2067. I called Helen,
Copy !req
2068. and this tabloid shit's come out
Copy !req
2069. about Asia
and this other person.
Copy !req
2070. Tony goes over
to this balcony again,
Copy !req
2071. looking over this valley,
and he's, like, smoking,
Copy !req
2072. and he's kind of alone.
Copy !req
2073. I go out there, and I'm like,
Copy !req
2074. "Hey, man, how are you doing?
Copy !req
2075. "You know, is this just, like—
are these just tabloid people,
Copy !req
2076. "like, fucking with you guys?
Copy !req
2077. Like how, you know—
what's happening?"
Copy !req
2078. And then, like, he pauses...
Copy !req
2079. and he just says,
"A little fucking discretion."
Copy !req
2080. Right? And I was like,
"Hey, man, I'm just..."
Copy !req
2081. He's like, "No, man, not you."
Copy !req
2082. It's like, "I don't want
to have to fucking deal
Copy !req
2083. with this— these fucking—"
Copy !req
2084. You know,
he's talking about Asia.
Copy !req
2085. He didn't even look at me.
Copy !req
2086. You know, he's just kind of,
like, just, you know, smoking
Copy !req
2087. and just sort of looking out
and just like, "Fuck."
Copy !req
2088. I wish I had said more
to him in that moment.
Copy !req
2089. You know,
Tony hasn't been all right
Copy !req
2090. for a long time.
Copy !req
2091. The amount that he joked about
the end of his life and—
Copy !req
2092. he's been chasing
that shit forever.
Copy !req
2093. Potato chips are stale.
Copy !req
2094. So depressed right now,
I feel like killing myself.
Copy !req
2095. He's a fucking runner.
Copy !req
2096. I mean, he ran for a long time,
Copy !req
2097. but you're not gonna
outsmart pain.
Copy !req
2098. I'm pretty sure that pole
Copy !req
2099. will support my body weight.
Copy !req
2100. - What?
- If I fucking hang myself.
Copy !req
2101. I think it pops into
Copy !req
2102. a lot of people's heads,
and it's just like,
Copy !req
2103. since he knew how to do it...
Copy !req
2104. I mean, I don't know.
Copy !req
2105. He's a storyteller
for one thing.
Copy !req
2106. How does a storyteller check out
without leaving a note?
Copy !req
2107. But I think, in some regard,
Copy !req
2108. he was gonna write his end,
which is what he did.
Copy !req
2109. If you look at
his last Instagram Story,
Copy !req
2110. he played the title sequence
music from this '70s film
Copy !req
2111. Violent City.
Copy !req
2112. And if you've seen the film,
Copy !req
2113. you know that the beginning is
Copy !req
2114. a series of paparazzi photos
of this couple.
Copy !req
2115. I mean, it's a revenge film.
Copy !req
2116. It's about this woman
who betrays him
Copy !req
2117. and him seeking revenge.
Copy !req
2118. I mean, it's-it's all there.
Copy !req
2119. I'm very cautious
Copy !req
2120. to be like, uh, blame the woman
for, like, you know—
Copy !req
2121. or blame the lover
or blame the husband.
Copy !req
2122. You know, Tony killed himself.
Copy !req
2123. Tony did it.
Copy !req
2124. My brother committed suicide.
Copy !req
2125. I think if somebody else
had been in his room,
Copy !req
2126. it might've been a murder
and not a suicide.
Copy !req
2127. I think he was just
in an explosive anger
Copy !req
2128. and-and this was
the only way out.
Copy !req
2129. When you choose
to hang yourself,
Copy !req
2130. it's a torture.
Copy !req
2131. Self-imposed torture.
Copy !req
2132. If he was fucking drunk,
Copy !req
2133. it'd be a lot easier
to understand.
Copy !req
2134. The toxicology report was
he's clean and sober.
Copy !req
2135. I think
it was a clear decision.
Copy !req
2136. It was a momentary lapse,
Copy !req
2137. and I don't think
he weighed the pros and cons.
Copy !req
2138. If he had just made it through
that night, you know?
Copy !req
2139. We're trying
so hard to understand,
Copy !req
2140. because we think
if we can understand it,
Copy !req
2141. then we'll be okay with it.
Copy !req
2142. And the fact
of the matter is, no,
Copy !req
2143. I don't think we get to know.
Copy !req
2144. We don't get to know.
Copy !req
2145. That's tough.
Copy !req
2146. Well, I don't know where he is
Copy !req
2147. right now, but...
Copy !req
2148. he let me down.
Copy !req
2149. He...
Copy !req
2150. I don't think
he was cruel, you know?
Copy !req
2151. And there's, like,
a cruelty to that.
Copy !req
2152. What the hell is everyone
supposed to do?
Copy !req
2153. It's been over two years
Copy !req
2154. since he took his own life,
Copy !req
2155. and I still experience
a range of emotions.
Copy !req
2156. Um...
Copy !req
2157. God.
Copy !req
2158. It's like...
Copy !req
2159. I haven't fucking cut my hair
since he died.
Copy !req
2160. Like, I-I...
Copy !req
2161. I just miss him.
Copy !req
2162. I miss a friend, a dear friend.
Copy !req
2163. I think about a lot of
happy moments we had together.
Copy !req
2164. Mostly, yeah.
Copy !req
2165. I was in Vietnam
on a beautiful day.
Copy !req
2166. I looked at my phone,
and there was the news.
Copy !req
2167. And, uh, that's when I decided
to move to Vietnam for good.
Copy !req
2168. That was the—
it was not even a thought.
Copy !req
2169. It was the door opened
and I had to go through it
Copy !req
2170. and start doing something new.
Copy !req
2171. I was listening to this record
Copy !req
2172. that brought me to tears
thinking of him.
Copy !req
2173. And, um, both my kids
Copy !req
2174. sort of embraced me.
Copy !req
2175. My son, he's like,
"How did Tony die?"
Copy !req
2176. And I was like,
"Uh, I— we don't know."
Copy !req
2177. Right?
Copy !req
2178. About 20 seconds pass, and
he looked at me and he's like,
Copy !req
2179. "I really would like to know
how Tony died."
Copy !req
2180. I have this like hour-long
conversation about
Copy !req
2181. Tony to my fucking
seven-year-old kid.
Copy !req
2182. And I said,
"I think Tony, at the end,
Copy !req
2183. "felt alone and felt
he couldn't talk to anybody
Copy !req
2184. about the pain that was
going on inside of him."
Copy !req
2185. And I said, "You know
you always have someone
Copy !req
2186. to turn to and talk to."
Copy !req
2187. That's the lesson in it for me.
Copy !req
2188. It's plenty
to just say I'm hurt.
Copy !req
2189. I haven't worked
for two years now.
Copy !req
2190. Really close to the end,
we talked, and I said,
Copy !req
2191. "Got to take our girls
and lighten the load
Copy !req
2192. "and show them the world,
show them who we are,
Copy !req
2193. not just when
you come home, but—"
Copy !req
2194. And-and we were both excited
about this prospect.
Copy !req
2195. Fuck.
Copy !req
2196. One, two, three.
Copy !req
2197. When I get angry
is when I think about
Copy !req
2198. leaving behind a brilliant...
Copy !req
2199. daughter.
Copy !req
2200. You know.
Copy !req
2201. He would have loved to be
around now, to see her now.
Copy !req
2202. He'd be so proud of her.
Copy !req
2203. I'm so lucky
Copy !req
2204. 'cause she's the best daughter
I-I could hope for.
Copy !req
2205. And I will always be grateful
that, you know,
Copy !req
2206. Tony gave her to me, you know?
Copy !req
2207. I mean, I think this is
Copy !req
2208. the last time I'll ever
talk publicly about it,
Copy !req
2209. because I— that's not the way
I want to remember him.
Copy !req
2210. I want to remember him
Copy !req
2211. when we were together, all the
amazing things that we'd done
Copy !req
2212. and the amazing person
that he was.
Copy !req
2213. After Tony died,
Copy !req
2214. the restaurant, Les Halles,
it just became this shrine.
Copy !req
2215. We didn't realize he meant
so much to so many people.
Copy !req
2216. "You inspired me
to get out of my comfort zone
Copy !req
2217. and fearlessly immerse myself
in the richness of life."
Copy !req
2218. "Advocate for
the working classes,
Copy !req
2219. "the immigrants, the poor.
Copy !req
2220. This world didn't deserve you."
Copy !req
2221. And then a few people
left poems.
Copy !req
2222. One said, "Everyone forgets
that Icarus also flew.
Copy !req
2223. "I believe Icarus
was not failing as he fell
Copy !req
2224. but just coming to the end
of his triumph."
Copy !req
2225. You know, I was
an angry young man.
Copy !req
2226. I-I, uh...
Copy !req
2227. I forget what I was angry about,
especially looking at this.
Copy !req
2228. What the hell
was I so angry about?
Copy !req
2229. This was, you know...
Copy !req
2230. paradise.
Copy !req
2231. Sorry.
Copy !req
2232. Can I say something?
Copy !req
2233. To have him
walking down a beach,
Copy !req
2234. it resonates, it's sweet.
Copy !req
2235. And I go, you know,
as-as I was upstairs
Copy !req
2236. using the restroom,
I was like...
Copy !req
2237. "He would fucking hate that."
Copy !req
2238. Going out in a blaze of glory
was so fucking lame.
Copy !req
2239. But we live in this society
where every great artist
Copy !req
2240. who kills themselves
is on murals
Copy !req
2241. and they're talked about
like gods.
Copy !req
2242. Tony's on murals.
- Yeah. That's...
Copy !req
2243. Around town,
there are a couple of them.
Copy !req
2244. I should go deface them.
Copy !req
2245. He would love it if I did that.
Copy !req
2246. Ooh.
Copy !req
2247. Yeah.
Copy !req