1. Gilbert, you better get up. They're here.Copy !req
2. - I'm up.
- You Okay?Copy !req
3. - Yeah.
- You're sure?Copy !req
4. Sure, I'm sure.Copy !req
5. Mom, you remember
the first time you left home?Copy !req
6. Yes. And I was just as scared as you are.Copy !req
7. I'm not scared, really.Copy !req
8. I just don't like the idea
of leaving you here all alone.Copy !req
9. Oh, I'll be fine.Copy !req
10. I was fine when you
went away to computer camp.Copy !req
11. - Mom, that was just for two weeks.
- I can take care of myself.Copy !req
12. - I'm much more worried about you.
- I'm gonna be just fine.Copy !req
13. Anyways, I'm not gonna
be alone. I got Lewis.Copy !req
14. Gilbert?Copy !req
15. Come on. Rise and shine.Copy !req
16. Dad's waiting outside
in the car. It's all packed.Copy !req
17. - Hi, Flo.
- Hi.Copy !req
18. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?
It's gonna be a great year.Copy !req
19. Now, I figure with lunch and two A.R.V.'sCopy !req
20. we should be on the road approximately
seven hours,Copy !req
21. eighteen minutes and seven seconds.Copy !req
22. - A. R.V.'s?
- Average restroom visits.Copy !req
23. Oh, I'm so proud of you two boys.Copy !req
24. Come on, Gilbert. Let's go to college.Copy !req
25. God.Copy !req
26. Hey, Lewis, what time you got?
I'm trying to work out our exact E.T.A.Copy !req
27. I got 2:37. Dad, how fast are we going?Copy !req
28. I've, uh, got the old
cruise control set at 35.Copy !req
29. Adams College. Home of the Atoms.Copy !req
30. Gilbert, this is gonna be really neat.Copy !req
31. Yeah? I sure hope so.
What if it isn't, huh?Copy !req
32. Don't be so negative.
We're gonna have the time of our lives.Copy !req
33. I'm not being negative.
I'm just being nervous, okay?Copy !req
34. Well, don't be, okay?
'Cause everything's gonna be great.Copy !req
35. - Just like high school, right?
- This is college.Copy !req
36. Remember. There's
6,127 students at Adams,Copy !req
37. - 58% of which are girls.
- So?Copy !req
38. So that's 7,107.32 boobs.Copy !req
39. Aw, you college guys are all alike.
All you really care about is getting laid.Copy !req
40. I wish I was goin' with you.Copy !req
41. 'Dad!Copy !req
42. Wow. This campus is awesome.Copy !req
43. It's a lot bigger than I expected.Copy !req
44. - Maybe we should've gone to City Tech.
- Come on. Tech's nothin'.Copy !req
45. You know Adams has got the best
computer department in the country.Copy !req
46. Yeah, you're right. Adams is the best.Copy !req
47. Well, boys,
I mean men, here we are.Copy !req
48. What an opportunity for you guys.Copy !req
49. You're both gonna do great.
I'm proud of you.Copy !req
50. Your father would have been
proud of you too, Gilbert.Copy !req
51. Oh, I know Mr. Skolnick.Copy !req
52. Don't tell my mother I was nervous, okay?
I wouldn't want her to worry.Copy !req
53. - Of course not. Don't sweat it.
- Thanks.Copy !req
54. Hey, Lewis. Come here. Sit down.Copy !req
55. I envy you, Lewis. This is one
of the finest institutions in the country.Copy !req
56. You're gonna do fantastic here.Copy !req
57. Try not to break
too many hearts, huh, Lewis?Copy !req
58. That hasn't been a real problem yet, Dad.Copy !req
59. Aw, come on. You're gonna make
some lucky girl very happy.Copy !req
60. You're smart, easygoing.Copy !req
61. Got your father's good looks.Copy !req
62. And you got a great sense of humor.Copy !req
63. Really believe in you, son.Copy !req
64. - Thanks, Dad. I won't let you down.
- I know.Copy !req
65. Gilbert, help me with the trunk.Copy !req
66. - Uh, Gilbert...
- Yes, sir?Copy !req
67. College isn't like high school.Copy !req
68. You'll... You'll be on your own.Copy !req
69. - I want you to take care of yourself.
- I will.Copy !req
70. Anyway, I won't be alone. I got Lewis.Copy !req
71. - Besides, we're college men now, right?
- Right!Copy !req
72. Ow.Copy !req
73. Whoop! Here. Come here.Copy !req
74. Easier gettin' it down.Copy !req
75. Come on, guys.Copy !req
76. This is an historic moment.Copy !req
77. All right.Copy !req
78. - Say cheese!
- Cheese!Copy !req
79. Got it.Copy !req
80. Bye, Dad.Copy !req
81. Bye. Thanks for the ride.Copy !req
82. - Look at this!
- Ah.Copy !req
83. Whoa. Look out.Copy !req
84. - You okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
85. - Bye, Mr. Skolnick!
- Drive careful, Dad!Copy !req
86. Wait a minute! Watch out!Copy !req
87. Sorry! Excuse us.Copy !req
88. At ease! At ease! At ease!Copy !req
89. You know, Gilbert? I
feel different already.Copy !req
90. Like, uh, more mature.Copy !req
91. Yeah. Looks like we're in
for quite a change.Copy !req
92. I'll say. Parties. Meeting new people.
This is really gonna be great.Copy !req
93. - I don't know.
- Just relax. Be yourself.Copy !req
94. Like Davy Crockett always said,
be sure you're right, then go ahead.Copy !req
95. Hey!Copy !req
96. Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!Copy !req
97. Anyway, college is a whole new ball game.Copy !req
98. Nerds!Copy !req
99. People judge you different
than they did in high school.Copy !req
100. - Nerds!
- Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!Copy !req
101. Nerds!Copy !req
102. - Nerds!
- Where are they?Copy !req
103. - I think they're talking about us.
- No way.Copy !req
104. Nerds!Copy !req
105. Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!Copy !req
106. Come on, Lewis. Let's go.Copy !req
107. Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!Copy !req
108. Yeah.Copy !req
109. Ogre!Copy !req
110. Fm'erup, baby!Copy !req
111. All right!Copy !req
112. Mmm, Stan.Copy !req
113. Okay, everybody, listen up!
It's time for stair diving!Copy !req
114. Well, Gilbert, here's our new home.Copy !req
115. Can't believe we finally made it.Copy !req
116. Lewis, if you don't want
the bed by the window, I'll take it.Copy !req
117. - You got it.
- Thanks.Copy !req
118. Sure.Copy !req
119. You know, this is really a great room.Copy !req
120. - Yup.
- Definite possibilities.Copy !req
121. Do you think maybe they'd let us put in a
little refrigerator for snacks and things?Copy !req
122. Are you kidding, Gilbert? We can put
a fridge and a microwave right there.Copy !req
123. That'd be a good place for
the entertainment center, too.Copy !req
124. Great.Copy !req
125. And that's just the beginning.Copy !req
126. We're gonna have the best
dorm room on campus.Copy !req
127. I don't know about the best, Lewis.
It'll certainly be the messiest.Copy !req
128. Relax, Gilbert.
Remember, we got it covered.Copy !req
129. This robot will be better than a maid.Copy !req
130. - It'll help with the women too.
- Women?Copy !req
131. Yeah. Let's say one of us
is up here with a woman?Copy !req
132. This'll be our early warning device,
so we don't walk in on each other.Copy !req
133. Wait a minute. We're allowed to have
girls in our dorm room?Copy !req
134. Not girls, Gil. Women.Copy !req
135. - We're college men now.
- Isn't college great?Copy !req
136. It's gonna be a great year.Copy !req
137. Come on, Betty. Show me what you got.Copy !req
138. - Gable, check this out.
- What is it?Copy !req
139. - It is outrageous, man.
- What is it?Copy !req
140. Just try it!Copy !req
141. "Oh!Copy !req
142. Are you okay?Copy !req
143. - Jesus, Burke, what is this?
- 188 proof.Copy !req
144. It's called a fireball, man. Watch.Copy !req
145. Haystack, flame on, buddy. Flame on!Copy !req
146. Oh, now what?Copy !req
147. Whoo!Copy !req
148. Yeah!Copy !req
149. Can you do it again? Do it again!Copy !req
150. Fireball, fireball, fireball, fireball.Copy !req
151. Fireball, fireball, fireball, fireball.Copy !req
152. One more! One more!Copy !req
153. Fireball! Fireball! Fireball! Fireball!Copy !req
154. Oh, shit!Copy !req
155. Our house
Our house is burning downCopy !req
156. Our house, our house
Our house is burning downCopy !req
157. Must've been the electrical wiring.Copy !req
158. That isn't what
the fire department thinks, Stan.Copy !req
159. Dean Ulich, if my boys say
it was the wiring, I gotta believe them.Copy !req
160. You know, Dean, this school
ought to be more careful.Copy !req
161. Dean, we got a big game coming upCopy !req
162. and I don't want my boys' minds
worried about where they're gonna live.Copy !req
163. Well, they should've thought of that
before they burned their house down.Copy !req
164. Well, what's done is done.
Now, where am I gonna put my athletes?Copy !req
165. - How about the freshman dorm?
- What about the students living there now?Copy !req
166. All right.Copy !req
167. Thanks to faulty wiring,
we have no place to live, right?Copy !req
168. - Right!
- And these freshmen...Copy !req
169. Freshmen are sitting pretty in there.Copy !req
170. - So as of now, that dorm is ours! Right?
- Yeah!Copy !req
171. Any room you want!
Ready? Break!Copy !req
172. Don't come back!Copy !req
173. There's your roommate, pal!Copy !req
174. If everyone follows directions,Copy !req
175. we can manage this move with
as little inconvenience as possible.Copy !req
176. All right, men.
I want everybody to listen up.Copy !req
177. We're movin' out, and I mean now!Copy !req
178. Move it! Move it! Move! Move! Move!Copy !req
179. Hey, buddy! Here!Copy !req
180. - Get outta here!
- Yeah! Move your ass!Copy !req
181. All right, men. Listen up!Copy !req
182. I'm gonna see to it that each
and every one of you is taken care of.Copy !req
183. You will be provided with the best possible
food, shelter and accommodations.Copy !req
184. - We will try to provide you...
- Now, let's move it out! Move it! Move!Copy !req
185. Move! Move! Move it!Copy !req
186. Move it!Copy !req
187. Get outta here!Copy !req
188. Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!Copy !req
189. Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!Copy !req
190. I know this move has probably
been very sudden for all of youCopy !req
191. and you're probably all
still very disoriented.Copy !req
192. I do want to assure you that this move is
in no way permanent. It's only temporary.Copy !req
193. As you can see, we've provided
accommodations for youCopy !req
194. that are...
That are quite acceptableCopy !req
195. and I think it'll be a very nice place
for you to enjoy your studies.Copy !req
196. But I don't even
want to go to college!Copy !req
197. Harold, you have a special gift.
You need college to develop it.Copy !req
198. I want to be with people my own age.Copy !req
199. You will be with people
your own age when you're older.Copy !req
200. But you just can't drop me off
in a gymnasium.Copy !req
201. It's like we're refugees from a war!Copy !req
202. We've got to go now, honey.
Your dad has an appointment.Copy !req
203. Bye, son.Copy !req
204. It is, really very comfortable here.Copy !req
205. Is there anyone here with allergies?Copy !req
206. Me too. Uh, for those who do
have allergies, um...Copy !req
207. You can request a foam-rubber pillow.Copy !req
208. Also, there's a television,
uh, for your viewing pleasure.Copy !req
209. It is a black-and-white
television. More good news,Copy !req
210. because of the... Of the housing situation,Copy !req
211. we are allowing the freshman class
to join and live in fraternities.Copy !req
212. All right!Copy !req
213. The fraternities will select
their new members tomorrow.Copy !req
214. All right! Enough of
this social bullshit. Grab a cot.Copy !req
215. Move it or lose it!Copy !req
216. Go, son.Copy !req
217. Move!Copy !req
218. Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!Copy !req
219. The Delta Kappa Gamma fraternity
has selected as its new members,Copy !req
220. Oliver Scott and Bill Daniels.Copy !req
221. For those of you, who weren't
selected by any fraternities,Copy !req
222. you won't be left out in the cold.Copy !req
223. You can stay here in the gym
for as long as you like.Copy !req
224. Or at least until basketball season.Copy !req
225. Please answer when I call out your names.Copy !req
226. Poindexter, Arnold?Copy !req
227. - Latrelle, Lamar.
- Lamar Latrelle.Copy !req
228. - Wormser, Harold.
- Present.Copy !req
229. - Takashi, Toshiro.
- Here, sir.Copy !req
230. - Dawson, Dudley.
- Call me Booger.Copy !req
231. All right, Booger.Copy !req
232. Rakhim, Taj.Copy !req
233. Excuse, please. But why
do they call you Booger?Copy !req
234. I don't know.Copy !req
235. Posquito, Lawrence.Copy !req
236. Daniels, Paul.Copy !req
237. I knew nobody'd pick us, Lewis.Copy !req
238. Gilbert, it's probably not over yet.
There's a fraternity for us.Copy !req
239. Dooley, Edward.Copy !req
240. Wait a second, Lewis.
Are you sure about this?Copy !req
241. Gilbert, yes. Come on.Copy !req
242. - Hi, girls.
- Are you guys looking to join a sorority?Copy !req
243. A sorority? No! Guy!Copy !req
244. We really need some help.Copy !req
245. We figured pretty girls like you
might be able to suggest a fraternity.Copy !req
246. Well, you know, boys,
choosing the right fraternal organizationCopy !req
247. can be one of the most important
decisions in a man's life.Copy !req
248. For sure.Copy !req
249. Guys like you have to weigh
your choices very carefully.Copy !req
250. Definitely.Copy !req
251. What frat do you think is us?Copy !req
252. - You guys are Alpha Betas all the way.
- Totally. For sure.Copy !req
253. Wait. Aren't Alpha Betas, like,
all jocks and face men?Copy !req
254. Yes. But you guys have got that certain
something I know they'd be interested in.Copy !req
255. I'm gonna call them
and tell them you're coming.Copy !req
256. Should we ask for a particular Alpha Beta?Copy !req
257. - Stan Gable.
- And you're?Copy !req
258. Betty Childs.Copy !req
259. Thank you, Betty. Uh, Miss Childs.Copy !req
260. Maybe if you're not busy sometime, we
could have a cup of coffee or something.Copy !req
261. - Oh.
- Come on, pal.Copy !req
262. I can't believe you asked her out.Copy !req
263. You know, Gilbert, if we get in,
maybe we can have our old room back.Copy !req
264. - These guys are never gonna accept us.
- Why wouldn't they?Copy !req
265. These are the Alpha Betas!
They're the football players.Copy !req
266. Gilbert, I really don't think Miss Childs
would have sent us over hereCopy !req
267. if she didn't think
we had a chance of getting in.Copy !req
268. - Yes?
- Hi.Copy !req
269. Tell Stan Gable that we're the guys
that Betty Childs sent over.Copy !req
270. Follow me, boys.Copy !req
271. Gilbert.Copy !req
272. Welcome.Copy !req
273. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
274. Hey.Copy !req
275. You guys seem pretty cool.
Take these for later.Copy !req
276. Rubbers? What do we need rubbers for?Copy !req
277. Let the initiation begin.Copy !req
278. Have you ever made love to a woman?Copy !req
279. - Yes. No.
- No. Yes.Copy !req
280. Liars!Copy !req
281. All right, girls.
Let's go for the burn.Copy !req
282. Let's get skinny! And one! And two!Copy !req
283. And three! And four!Copy !req
284. And one!
And two! And three!Copy !req
285. - Okay, Takashi, what do you got?
- Oh, I think I have a "frush."Copy !req
286. - What the fuck is a frush?
- A "frush."Copy !req
287. Oh, see, I got two sevens,
and two sevens beats a frush.Copy !req
288. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
289. One, two, three, four!Copy !req
290. One, two, three, four! Come on, girls!
Fat is your enemy!Copy !req
291. Hold those arms out straight!Copy !req
292. - Oh.
- Jesus.Copy !req
293. Smile, girls! You're gonna be beautiful!Copy !req
294. One! And two! And three! And four!Copy !req
295. So, getting into a fraternity can be the
most important thing in a man's life, huh?Copy !req
296. You know, that cheerleader
set us up, Lewis.Copy !req
297. I really don't think Betty Childs
is that kind of person, Gilbert.Copy !req
298. - Hey, Lewis.
- What is it, Gilbert?Copy !req
299. I'm really sorry that I snapped at you.Copy !req
300. This gym's really gettin' to me.Copy !req
301. It's okay. I understand. Tomorrow morning,
we'll find a better place to live, okay?Copy !req
302. - Good night, Gilbert.
- Good night, Lewis.Copy !req
303. - Good night, Lamar.
- Good night, Wormser.Copy !req
304. - Night, Takashi.
- Good night, Poindexter.Copy !req
305. Night, Booger.Copy !req
306. Hey, take it easy.Copy !req
307. The computer's your friend.Copy !req
308. I wasn't meant to interface with a machine.Copy !req
309. Well, you're just beginning. Relax.Copy !req
310. It's no use.Copy !req
311. - It's inhuman.
- Oh, it's not inhuman.Copy !req
312. Only humans can be inhuman.Copy !req
313. Here. Lemme show you.Copy !req
314. Working with a computer's great.Copy !req
315. I mean, it's, uh, godlike in a way.Copy !req
316. 'Cause you can have complete control.Copy !req
317. - That's good.
- Thanks.Copy !req
318. You know, some people,
they can create with their hands.Copy !req
319. But when you're working with a computer,
you gotta build something with your mind.Copy !req
320. If you're good, you can do somethin'
no one's ever seen before.Copy !req
321. It's a definite high.Copy !req
322. - Uh, what's your name?
- Judy.Copy !req
323. Hi, Judy. Gilbert.Copy !req
324. - Very nice to meet you.
- Nice meeting you.Copy !req
325. - Joe, what are you doing here?
- Hiya, boys.Copy !req
326. - Hello, Lewis.
- Hi, Gilbert.Copy !req
327. Did you find a house?Copy !req
328. No. I met a girl.Copy !req
329. Gilbert.Copy !req
330. - Her name's Judy.
- Judy's a nice name, Gilbert.Copy !req
331. - Yeah. She's a nice girl.
- Big deal. Did you get in her pants?Copy !req
332. - She's not that kind of a girl, Booger.
- Why? Does she have a penis?Copy !req
333. You gonna eat this?Copy !req
334. - Smell this one, nerd.
- Hey, Coach, Coach,Copy !req
335. I got to find a place to live.
Is okay I leave early?Copy !req
336. No.Copy !req
337. Oh, okay.Copy !req
338. - You know karate?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
339. Good.Copy !req
340. Okay, I programmed him
with all the rental units in the area.Copy !req
341. To achieve optimum efficiency,Copy !req
342. I've assigned each of you
a different part of the list.Copy !req
343. This'll prevent doubling up, and we'll be
able to blanket the area in no time.Copy !req
344. Booger.Copy !req
345. Wormser.Copy !req
346. Toshiro.Copy !req
347. Nerd.Copy !req
348. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
349. - Mr. Wilson?
- Yeah.Copy !req
350. Just checking.Copy !req
351. Hi, there, big boy.Copy !req
352. Hi. I came about the room for rent.Copy !req
353. It's right next to mine.
It'll be perfect for us.Copy !req
354. Who's there?Copy !req
355. - L...
- What do you want?Copy !req
356. - Is this the Stewart residence?
- Why are you here?Copy !req
357. - I've come about the room.
- What do you want? Go... Go away!Copy !req
358. - L... l... Do you have a room to rent?
- Not for rent.Copy !req
359. - I thought it was for rent.
- Fuck off.Copy !req
360. - Hi, Judy.
- Hi, Gilbert!Copy !req
361. - How are you?
- I'm fine.Copy !req
362. - Good.
- Where you goin'?Copy !req
363. I gotta go find a place to live.Copy !req
364. Oh, that's horrible, you guys
having to live in the gym.Copy !req
365. Oh, yeah, well...Copy !req
366. - What is that? Is that yours?
- Oh, it's my accordion.Copy !req
367. - The... You play the accordion?
- Yeah!Copy !req
368. - You know, I love the accordion.
- Really?Copy !req
369. Yeah. Are you very good, or...Copy !req
370. - No, not really.
- Oh.Copy !req
371. I'm on my way to accordion class now.
Wanna walk with me?Copy !req
372. Yeah, sure. Oh, no. Here. Let me get it.Copy !req
373. I think I found a house.Copy !req
374. About fucking time!Copy !req
375. Isn't it fantastic?Copy !req
376. Welcome.Copy !req
377. - You feeling anything yet, Takashi?
- Booger, I feel nothing.Copy !req
378. Well, you better have another hit.Copy !req
379. Look at this counter. Could be good.Copy !req
380. - Feeling anything now?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
381. I feeling nothing at all.Copy !req
382. How about now?Copy !req
383. I can't believe what they've done
to that house.Copy !req
384. That's amazing.Copy !req
385. - Looks terrific, doesn't it, Stan?
- Yeah.Copy !req
386. Well, it won't look terrific for long.Copy !req
387. What are you looking at, nerd? Huh?Copy !req
388. I thought I was looking at my mother's
old douche bag, but that's in Ohio.Copy !req
389. Seven, and eight, and stretch those arms.Copy !req
390. Come on, looks great. Come on, Wormser.Copy !req
391. Count one. Keep it up. Two...Copy !req
392. Good morning, Poindexter.Copy !req
393. - Good morning.
- Okay.Copy !req
394. Excuse me.Copy !req
395. Oh, thank you very much.Copy !req
396. - Okay, Takashi, show me your cards.
- Okay. Two and four kings.Copy !req
397. - That's good, yes? Oh.
- No. No, you got too many kings.Copy !req
398. - You gotta get rid of these.
- Oh.Copy !req
399. I'll take three of these kings out, and
we'll replace them with three fresh cards.Copy !req
400. Oh. Okay. Thank you.Copy !req
401. Okay, when do I deal?Copy !req
402. You gotta win a hand first.Copy !req
403. I told you we'd find a better place.Copy !req
404. Yeah. This is way better than the dorm.Copy !req
405. It says, "Nerds, get out."Copy !req
406. What is a nerd?Copy !req
407. We are.Copy !req
408. I don't know what this world is comin' to.
See that man over there?Copy !req
409. We arrested him for mopery.Copy !req
410. What's "mopery"?Copy !req
411. Mopery is exposing yourself
to a blind person.Copy !req
412. I'm sorry about your windows, fellas.Copy !req
413. It's out of my jurisdiction.
Sounds like a fraternity prank.Copy !req
414. There's only one organization
that can handle this.Copy !req
415. What organization is that?Copy !req
416. The Greek Council.Copy !req
417. Our next order of business,
new membership.Copy !req
418. Earl, show the petitioners in, please.Copy !req
419. Oh, my God.Copy !req
420. Kneel, gentlemen.Copy !req
421. You are the gentlemen
who wish to form a fraternity?Copy !req
422. Yes, sir.Copy !req
423. Well, gentlemen,
as president of the Greek Council,Copy !req
424. I'm sorry to inform you that
your membership has been denied.Copy !req
425. Excuse me, but, uh, why?Copy !req
426. Well, according to our charter, you must
have a national fraternity as your sponsor.Copy !req
427. - Do you have one?
- No.Copy !req
428. Well, I'm afraid he's right.Copy !req
429. But all we have to do is get
a national sponsor, and we're in, right?Copy !req
430. Right, right. So I guess we'll see you
in about, say, uh, 20 years.Copy !req
431. "Dear sirs, thank you for applying
to Delta Kappa Gamma.Copy !req
432. "We've gone over your application,
and it wasn't even close.Copy !req
433. "In the future, we recommend
that you not include a group photo."Copy !req
434. That's 29 rejections so far.Copy !req
435. Did we send pictures to everybody?Copy !req
436. Yeah, everybody except for,
uh, Lambda Lambda Lambda.Copy !req
437. Here's one that will see us!Copy !req
438. Lambda Lambda Lambda?Copy !req
439. Yeah. They're gonna love us.Copy !req
440. As you know,
we have no chapter at Adams College,Copy !req
441. which is why we agreed to see you.Copy !req
442. But I must tell you, gentlemen,Copy !req
443. you have very little chance
of becoming Tri-Lambs.Copy !req
444. I'm in a difficult situation here.Copy !req
445. I mean, after all,Copy !req
446. you're nerds.Copy !req
447. According to your by-laws,Copy !req
448. you have to take us on
a 60-day trial basis.Copy !req
449. - I beg your pardon?
- According to your by-law...Copy !req
450. He's right, U.N.Copy !req
451. Any group that petitions can become
a probationary Tri-Lamb chapter.Copy !req
452. May I see that, please?Copy !req
453. Thank you.Copy !req
454. Well, gentlemen, you are now
probationary Tri-Lambs.Copy !req
455. Hey, great, U.N.Copy !req
456. Why don't we have a party? You can
come down and celebrate with usCopy !req
457. and observe us to make sure
we're Tri-Lamb material, okay?Copy !req
458. Great.Copy !req
459. We won't let you down either.Copy !req
460. I bet we'll have the highest grade point
average of any chapter you've got.Copy !req
461. And we certainly won't discriminate.Copy !req
462. I mean, our chapter will be open
to people of all races and creeds.Copy !req
463. And sexual orientation.Copy !req
464. Wonderful.Copy !req
465. - Hi. Remember me?
- No.Copy !req
466. Well, we're having a party Saturday night.
Would you like to come?Copy !req
467. - No.
- Oh. Well...Copy !req
468. Come on! Get it up!
Get it up! Come on! You're shit!Copy !req
469. You're nothin'! You're scum! You suck!Copy !req
470. - You're nice!
- No, I'm not!Copy !req
471. - That a way, Og.
- Stan. Hi.Copy !req
472. - What's up, Betty? Somethin' wrong?
- Yeah.Copy !req
473. - What?
- One of those nerds just asked me out.Copy !req
474. Which one?Copy !req
475. - I don't know. They all look alike to me.
- Yeah.Copy !req
476. They're trying to throw a party,
and they can't get any dates.Copy !req
477. - Yeah?
- I'll eat their ancestors!Copy !req
478. - I'll kill their parents! I'll kill...
- No, Ogre! Ogre!Copy !req
479. Don't worry about it.
Wait a second. Just wait a second.Copy !req
480. - Maybe we could help them out.
- Yeah?Copy !req
481. Yeah. And I know just what to do.Copy !req
482. Come here.Copy !req
483. We'll put the bar over here,
and the hors d'oeuvres over there.Copy !req
484. And we'll pass the rumaki
and the cheese puffs.Copy !req
485. - That sounds expensive.
- Arnold, this party's important.Copy !req
486. If we don't impress the Tri-Lambs,
we'll never get in.Copy !req
487. Maybe we can have "robster craws."Copy !req
488. What the fuck are robster craws?Copy !req
489. Have any of you guys
got dates besides Gilbert?Copy !req
490. - I do.
- Yeah, but that's with a guy.Copy !req
491. What about you, Booger?Copy !req
492. I been out combin' the
high schools all day.Copy !req
493. Maybe we should cancel the party.Copy !req
494. No, we can't cancel the party. U.N.
Jefferson's coming. We got to impress him.Copy !req
495. We'll never find dates.Copy !req
496. Hello, Lambda We're the Pi 'sCopy !req
497. And we're here to sayCopy !req
498. We think you are special guysCopy !req
499. Lambdas all the wayCopy !req
500. Alpha Betas are okayCopy !req
501. If you like sweat socksCopy !req
502. We prefer your high I.Q.'sCopy !req
503. To their great big jocksCopy !req
504. Lambda Lambda Lambda boysCopy !req
505. Really are the bestCopy !req
506. Won't you take a piece of PiCopy !req
507. And we'll do the restCopy !req
508. The sisters of Pi welcome our newest
fraternity, Lambda Lambda Lambda.Copy !req
509. We'd like to be escorts
to your party Saturday nightCopy !req
510. and help out in any way possible.Copy !req
511. - We got dates!
- I never been out with a girl before.Copy !req
512. Not just a girl, Poindexter, but a Pi.Copy !req
513. - What's Pi stand for?
- Hair pie.Copy !req
514. What's that?Copy !req
515. Oh.Copy !req
516. - Lewis, where are the Pi's?
- I don't know.Copy !req
517. Their phone's been busy for two hours.Copy !req
518. I don't think U.N.'s
having a very good time.Copy !req
519. Must be the music.
I'll put on something he'll like better.Copy !req
520. - Lewis.
- U.N.?Copy !req
521. - Great party.
- Thanks.Copy !req
522. Where are those good-lookin' sorority girls
you're supposed to have dates with?Copy !req
523. You know women. They're probably
just being fashionably late.Copy !req
524. Swing low, sweet chariotCopy !req
525. - I don't think the Pi's are gonna show.
- They stood us up, huh?Copy !req
526. - Yeah.
- I could call my sorority sisters.Copy !req
527. - You could?
- You think they'll come right over?Copy !req
528. They're really spontaneous people.
I'll call 'em.Copy !req
529. Crush this ice for me, will you?Copy !req
530. - Hey, guys, we got dates.
- Who?Copy !req
531. - Judy's gonna invite the Omega Mu's over.
- Oh, no. Not the Mu's!Copy !req
532. - Yeah.
- They're a bunch of pigs.Copy !req
533. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
534. - Hi there.
- Hi there.Copy !req
535. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
536. You can all sing along.
The words are really easy.Copy !req
537. So I say I gotta be free.
So I say I got... I gotta be me.Copy !req
538. - So I say I gotta be free
- FreeCopy !req
539. - So I say I gotta be me
- MeCopy !req
540. I'm saying...Copy !req
541. I'm saying you gotta be...Copy !req
542. This party isn't
going very well, is it?Copy !req
543. I don't know why everybody's so uptight.Copy !req
544. Me either. Maybe we should eat.Copy !req
545. Maybe we should watch TV.Copy !req
546. Hey, guys.Copy !req
547. Wonder joints.Copy !req
548. They taste better than they look.Copy !req
549. Oh, goody!Copy !req
550. Oh, smile pretty, chickies.Copy !req
551. Oh, thank you very much.
Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
552. Hair pie. Hair pie.Copy !req
553. Nothing. Nothing.Copy !req
554. Ah!Copy !req
555. And I have a micon data linkCopy !req
556. which hooks this phone to
the computer in the robot.Copy !req
557. Hey, this is some good shit.Copy !req
558. Hair pie? Thank you.Copy !req
559. Oh, hair pie?Copy !req
560. - You built this yourself?
- Yeah.Copy !req
561. I think robots are sexy.Copy !req
562. I do too, really.Copy !req
563. - Do you wanna dance?
- Okay.Copy !req
564. Damn! You Mu's sure can party!Copy !req
565. - Come on. Let's go.
- Where?Copy !req
566. - Up to your room.
- You wanna go up to my room?Copy !req
567. Yeah.Copy !req
568. - Are you nearsighted or farsighted?
- Nearsighted.Copy !req
569. - So am I.
- Really?Copy !req
570. Yeah. You wanna switch glasses?Copy !req
571. Gilbert, we almost have
the same prescription.Copy !req
572. Yeah. Listen, um, would you like to dance?Copy !req
573. Yeah.Copy !req
574. Yeah, well, uh, when I was in high school,Copy !req
575. I was thinking mostly
of the, uh, aerospace field.Copy !req
576. But when I got into college,
I decided that I wanted somethingCopy !req
577. a little more challenging.Copy !req
578. So, um, I switched to computers.Copy !req
579. And, uh, now aerodynamics
is just sort of a hobby.Copy !req
580. Wait, wait. No, no, wait.Copy !req
581. Would you rather live in the ascendancy
of a civilization or during its decline?Copy !req
582. Poindexter, do you wanna fuck or not?Copy !req
583. You know, if, uh, we get
into Lambda Lambda LambdaCopy !req
584. we could be your partners
in the homecoming carnival.Copy !req
585. I know. That'd be so great.Copy !req
586. Yeah. This party
sure worked out well.Copy !req
587. Get 'em out of here!Copy !req
588. Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-OCopy !req
589. And on that farm
he had some pigs. E-I-E-I-OCopy !req
590. We thought you could use some more pigs
for your party, nerds.Copy !req
591. With an oink, oink here
and an oink, oink thereCopy !req
592. Here an oink, there an oink
Everywhere an oink, oinkCopy !req
593. Old MacDonald had a farm
E-l-E-l-OCopy !req
594. - Fuck you!
- Fucking-A!Copy !req
595. FUCK you!Copy !req
596. We'll never get into
Lambda Lambda Lambda now.Copy !req
597. Yeah, those jocks ruined everything.Copy !req
598. I say we blow their fucking houses up.Copy !req
599. No, we can't resort to violence.Copy !req
600. That'll just bring us down to their level.Copy !req
601. - What do we do?
- We got to beat 'em at their own game.Copy !req
602. We've got to become
the best fraternity on campus.Copy !req
603. You know, if we win that
homecoming carnival,Copy !req
604. we can take over the presidency
of the Greek Council.Copy !req
605. That would drive 'em crazy.Copy !req
606. But, Gilbert,Copy !req
607. if we don't get approved by the Tri-Lambs,
we won't even be a fraternity.Copy !req
608. - I say we blow the fuckers up.
- No, we can't do that.Copy !req
609. But you're right. Their action tonightCopy !req
610. demands an immediate retaliation.Copy !req
611. And if we don't, we're nothing
but the nerds they say we are.Copy !req
612. I know what we're gonna do.Copy !req
613. Down! Down! Down!Copy !req
614. Come on!Copy !req
615. E-I-E-I-OCopy !req
616. With an oink, oink here
And an oink, oink thereCopy !req
617. Here an oink
Everywhere an oink, oinkCopy !req
618. - Where?
- Right there.Copy !req
619. - Isn't this gonna make a lot of noise?
- It's got a built-in silencer.Copy !req
620. Camera. The periscope.Copy !req
621. - Hey, Suzy.
- Hi, Betty.Copy !req
622. God, that was fun tonight.Copy !req
623. - We were the highlight of their party.
- I know.Copy !req
624. - God, those pigs sure were greasy, too.
- I have to get the smell off.Copy !req
625. Oh, I know.Copy !req
626. Listen, if Stan calls,
tell him I'll call him back, okay?Copy !req
627. Okay.Copy !req
628. Panty raid!Copy !req
629. It's a panty raid!Copy !req
630. Panty raid!Copy !req
631. Hey!Copy !req
632. What are you... What are you doing?Copy !req
633. Give me those back! Come here! Hey!Copy !req
634. Wormser, how many cameras
do we have left?Copy !req
635. - Four.
- Okay.Copy !req
636. Step aside, mama.
I wanna see some of that muff.Copy !req
637. Hair pie. Hair pie!Copy !req
638. That nerd saw me naked! Oh! Get out!Copy !req
639. Out! Out! Out! Get out!Copy !req
640. - Hiya, buddy.
- Hi!Copy !req
641. - Isn't college great?
- This is going to be a great year.Copy !req
642. Get out of here!Copy !req
643. Hair pie! Hair pie!Copy !req
644. Stan's gonna kill you!Copy !req
645. Get out! Jerks!Copy !req
646. Ooh!Copy !req
647. We love you when you're mad!Copy !req
648. - Almost there, Wormser?
- This should do it.Copy !req
649. Oh.Copy !req
650. - Ah.
- Good.Copy !req
651. That looks good, Lamar.Copy !req
652. This is a stationary camera.Copy !req
653. - We've got Pi's.
- Mmm.Copy !req
654. You got other angles, Lamar?Copy !req
655. - Go to their room.
- Yeah, go in their room.Copy !req
656. Yeah. Perfect. Good.Copy !req
657. - Arnold, that's her.
- Go to the right.Copy !req
658. Arnold, that's the girl we saw.Copy !req
659. - Go up. Go up. Go up.
- Up?Copy !req
660. Wait a second.
Hold it right there, Lamar.Copy !req
661. Don't move the camera.Copy !req
662. Yeah!Copy !req
663. Oh, no.Copy !req
664. I drink to that.Copy !req
665. Yes. I like that nightie.Copy !req
666. - That's very good.
- Can you go in that room?Copy !req
667. Okay.Copy !req
668. {CHUCKLING)Copy !req
669. Here she comes.Copy !req
670. God, take your towel off, please.Copy !req
671. Come on. Remove it.
There's somethin' comin' up.Copy !req
672. Yes! Is it cold in there or what?Copy !req
673. Nature's thermometers.Copy !req
674. - Focus! Focus it, Lamar.
- Focus!Copy !req
675. Just kidding.Copy !req
676. This is bullshit. I want bush. Pan down.Copy !req
677. We've got bush. We've got bush!Copy !req
678. Hair pie!Copy !req
679. I'm tired of watching 'em
brush their teeth.Copy !req
680. See if Betty's up. Dooley, throw me a beer.Copy !req
681. Thanks.Copy !req
682. Oh, I getting tired of Betty.Copy !req
683. Are you kidding? Zoom in.Copy !req
684. I could never get tired of Betty.Copy !req
685. How could you ever get tired
of that ass, Takashi?Copy !req
686. Oh, I see your point.Copy !req
687. Are you guys still watching the Pi's?Copy !req
688. - Yes.
- Have you been up all night?Copy !req
689. Yes.Copy !req
690. - Wormser, haven't you had enough?
- No.Copy !req
691. Well, I think
we got even with the Pi's.Copy !req
692. Now we got a little score to settle
with the Alpha Betas.Copy !req
693. Shit, Hank, What is that stuff?Copy !req
694. - Liquid heat.
- It burns.Copy !req
695. You oughta feel it when I don't mix it
with water.Copy !req
696. Get them!Copy !req
697. Make pile here.Copy !req
698. Hurry.Copy !req
699. Okay. Here goes.Copy !req
700. Go for it.Copy !req
701. Okay, don't... Don't touch now.Copy !req
702. - Okay. Okay.
- Here. Hit this one.Copy !req
703. Looks like salad.Copy !req
704. The key to each season is homecoming.Copy !req
705. You win that one,
you got your alumni support.Copy !req
706. You got your alumni support,
you got that jock dorm,Copy !req
707. you get the laundry money,
you get the new cars.Copy !req
708. Now, this season started out fine.
We won some big ball games!Copy !req
709. But we were lucky.Copy !req
710. We can't get soft.Copy !req
711. We can't sit back on our laurels.Copy !req
712. We win homecoming, we take league.Copy !req
713. We take league, we get a bowl bid.Copy !req
714. It's as simple as that.Copy !req
715. But, gentlemen, you have got to want it.Copy !req
716. Do you want it?Copy !req
717. - Yeah!
- I can't hear you!Copy !req
718. - Yeah!
- Yes!Copy !req
719. We can't let up! We gotta stay tough.Copy !req
720. You can do it! You can do it!Copy !req
721. - You can do it!
- God!Copy !req
722. You gotta believe that you can do it!Copy !req
723. - You gotta let them know that you want it!
- I want it!Copy !req
724. Good!Copy !req
725. - Shower up!
- Oh, God.Copy !req
726. Shit, we forgot to practice.Copy !req
727. You put what?Copy !req
728. Liquid heat.Copy !req
729. - On thew what'?
- In their jocks.Copy !req
730. - That's outrageous.
- Are you angry, U.N. ?Copy !req
731. No! I'm not angry.Copy !req
732. I'm glad to see you...
You guys finally fought back.Copy !req
733. I think you'll make a fine addition to Tri
Lambda, and I wanna welcome you aboard.Copy !req
734. - Congratulations.
- All right!Copy !req
735. - You'll tell the guys?
- I will!Copy !req
736. Okay, everybody ready?Copy !req
737. Okay, I focus now. I set timer.Copy !req
738. Now say, "Hi, U.N."Copy !req
739. Hi, U.N.!Copy !req
740. Well, I'd like to propose a toast
to U.N. Jefferson,Copy !req
741. who, in his ultimate wisdom,Copy !req
742. chose to accept usCopy !req
743. into our new fraternity,
Lambda Lambda Lambda.Copy !req
744. Lambda Lambda Lambda!Copy !req
745. Before we take this matter to a vote,Copy !req
746. I would like it clearly stated
in the record, Miss Childs,Copy !req
747. that the evidence is overwhelmingly
against the Alpha BetasCopy !req
748. and I urge that they be found guilty.Copy !req
749. Point of order.Copy !req
750. Dean Ulich, I am an Alpha Beta,Copy !req
751. and I know that no
member of my fraternityCopy !req
752. could have perpetrated such
a callous, heinous actCopy !req
753. against the nerds or the Tri-Lambs.Copy !req
754. Therefore, I feel a vote at this time
would be, shall we say, premature.Copy !req
755. Premature?
- Yes.Copy !req
756. You see, instead, I am going to organizeCopy !req
757. a special, blue-ribbon
fact-finding commissionCopy !req
758. made up of myself and, uh,
Miss Betty ChildsCopy !req
759. and we will get to the bottom
of this dastardly deed.Copy !req
760. - You can't get away with this.
- Oh, no, I'm afraid I can.Copy !req
761. You see, only the president
of the Greek Council can call a vote.Copy !req
762. - That's completely unfair!
- This is bullshit!Copy !req
763. Meeting adjourned.Copy !req
764. Guys, we are never gonna get a fair shake
as long as Stan Gable is president.Copy !req
765. But the only way to become president
is to win the homecoming carnival.Copy !req
766. That's right, Arnold.Copy !req
767. - And that's exactly what we're gonna do.
- Yeah!Copy !req
768. I take great pleasureCopy !req
769. in officially opening
this year's homecoming carnival!Copy !req
770. The overall winner
will be determined by total pointsCopy !req
771. from, number one, field events,Copy !req
772. number two, the charity fund-raising boothCopy !req
773. and number three,
the musical show and skit competition.Copy !req
774. And now, let the games begin!Copy !req
775. Okay, the object of the race
is to complete 20 laps around the track,Copy !req
776. while stopping every lap
for a mandatory pit stopCopy !req
777. at which time the driver will chug a beer.Copy !req
778. You don't have a fucking chance, nerd.Copy !req
779. - Thank you. Good luck to you, too, Burke.
- Fuck off.Copy !req
780. Gentlemen, start your engines.Copy !req
781. Come on!Copy !req
782. This is trichloromethaline. It counters
all effects of alcohol in your system.Copy !req
783. - Drink the whole beer.
- Go, go, go! Come on, Danny!Copy !req
784. - Come on, buddy! Kick his ass!
- Go, go, go, go!Copy !req
785. Go!
Go!Copy !req
786. - Okay, okay, come on!
- You feeling okay?Copy !req
787. - Oh, fucking great!
- Go, go, go!Copy !req
788. Come on, baby! Yeah!Copy !req
789. - Come on, guy!
- Only one more lap to go.Copy !req
790. Just you and the Alpha Betas.Copy !req
791. You let that nerd beat you,
and you're nothing! Understand?Copy !req
792. - He no stand no chance now!
- Go, Takashi!Copy !req
793. - Come on! Let's go, Burke! Here we go!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
794. All right! Come on, Takashi! Go!Copy !req
795. Aw, man, he's wasted!Copy !req
796. Come on, Burke! You're an Alpha Beta!Copy !req
797. Fuck!Copy !req
798. - Shit!
- I won! I won!Copy !req
799. Times are changin', Betty. These nerds
are a threat to our way of life.Copy !req
800. If they win homecoming,
they're gonna take over the Greek Council.Copy !req
801. And we'll be up to our necks in nerd shit.Copy !req
802. Our next competition
will be the Trojan Horse.Copy !req
803. Come on! Come on! Get off!Copy !req
804. Get off!Copy !req
805. Yeah!Copy !req
806. What is Alpha Beta doing?Copy !req
807. All right!Copy !req
808. Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!Copy !req
809. Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!Copy !req
810. Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!Copy !req
811. Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!Copy !req
812. Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre! Ogre!Copy !req
813. - Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!
- On your mark! Set!Copy !req
814. Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!Copy !req
815. Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!Copy !req
816. - Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!
- On your mark!Copy !req
817. - Set!
- Ooh! Aah! Alpha Beta!Copy !req
818. You win!Copy !req
819. Frankly, I'm not too wild
about this next event,Copy !req
820. but it has become a tradition here
at Adams, the belching contest.Copy !req
821. Our first of two finalists,
Frederick W. Polowosky.Copy !req
822. "Ogre, you asshole."Copy !req
823. Ogre.Copy !req
824. And from the Lambda-Mu team,
Dudley Dawson.Copy !req
825. - Booger.
- Booger.Copy !req
826. Our next event is one that goes all the way
back to the Peloponnesian War,Copy !req
827. the javelin throw.Copy !req
828. Yeah!Copy !req
829. - All right, baby!
- What'd you expect?Copy !req
830. - Wait till you see Lamar's throw.
- How come?Copy !req
831. Wormser's a master at aerodynamicsCopy !req
832. and he designed the javelin to go along
with Lamar's limp-wristed throwing style.Copy !req
833. Wormser! It worked!Copy !req
834. I can't believe it! Did you see that?Copy !req
835. I love you all! I love you all! Thank you!Copy !req
836. Thank you!Copy !req
837. The Alpha Beta-Pi team leads.Copy !req
838. The Lambda-Mus are a surprising second.Copy !req
839. Now let's see what happens
at the charity fund-raising booths.Copy !req
840. Eat a pie for charity! Come on! Let's go!Copy !req
841. Buy a pie for charity! Thank you.Copy !req
842. Take a break, Chip.Copy !req
843. Hi.Copy !req
844. - Hi, Betty.
- A nerd.Copy !req
845. - I'm not kissing a nerd.
- You have to.Copy !req
846. I Paid my money.Copy !req
847. It's time for my break.Copy !req
848. Kiss this, nerd.Copy !req
849. - Stan!
- Yeah?Copy !req
850. I wanna do it.
All this kissing's made me horny.Copy !req
851. God, Betty, you're like a goat.Copy !req
852. Next.Copy !req
853. Stan!Copy !req
854. You changed your mind.Copy !req
855. I'm glad. Come on.Copy !req
856. Hey, you.Copy !req
857. You wanna do it on the moon?Copy !req
858. Take off your mask.Copy !req
859. Oh, Stan.Copy !req
860. You're so kinky.Copy !req
861. Eat a pie for charity.
Step right up.Copy !req
862. Come on. Step up.Copy !req
863. - Eat a pie for charity. Thank you very much.
- Eat a pie for charity!Copy !req
864. Gable, how we doin'?Copy !req
865. - Great, 1,258 bucks. Better than last year.
- The nerds are over 2,000.Copy !req
866. - Yep.
- For selling pies?Copy !req
867. They've got a line around the corner.
Guys are buying two, three pies apiece.Copy !req
868. There's something fishy about these pies.
Let's go check it out.Copy !req
869. Okay, hold on for a second.Copy !req
870. - Thank you.
- Pies for charity.Copy !req
871. - Pies for charity.
- This can't be!Copy !req
872. Ogre, go get a pie.
Find out what the hell's going on here.Copy !req
873. Thanks, wimp. Get yourself one.Copy !req
874. - Well, how is it?
- Good.Copy !req
875. - Is it good, or is it great?
- It's good.Copy !req
876. Just good? Then what the hell
are they selling so many of them for?Copy !req
877. Here's why. Uh-oh.Copy !req
878. That's my Pi.Copy !req
879. Oh, Stan.Copy !req
880. That was wonderful.Copy !req
881. You did things to me
you've never done before.Copy !req
882. You're that nerd!Copy !req
883. Yeah.Copy !req
884. God, you were wonderful.Copy !req
885. Thanks.Copy !req
886. Are all nerds as good as you?Copy !req
887. - Yes.
- How come?Copy !req
888. 'Cause all jocks think about is sports.Copy !req
889. All we ever think about is sex.Copy !req
890. - What's your name?
- Lewis.Copy !req
891. Lewis,Copy !req
892. would you meet me
after the pep rally tonight?Copy !req
893. Sure.Copy !req
894. It's all tied up,Copy !req
895. which means the musical show and
skit competition will decide the winner.Copy !req
896. So, let the music begin!Copy !req
897. Row, row, row your boat
gently down the streamCopy !req
898. Merrily, merrily
Merrily, merrilyCopy !req
899. Life is but a dreamCopy !req
900. What'd the Pink Panther say
when he stepped on an ant?Copy !req
901. - What did the Pink Panther say?
- Dead ant. Dead ant.Copy !req
902. Dead-ant, dead-ant dead-ant.Copy !req
903. What is the dirtiest thing
ever said on television?Copy !req
904. The dirtiest thing ever said
on television. I don't know.Copy !req
905. "Ward, I think you were a little hard
on the Beaver last night."Copy !req
906. Gable, Gable, he's our man!
If he can't do it, Burke can!Copy !req
907. Burke, Burke, he's our man!
If he can't do it, Ogre can!Copy !req
908. - Give me an "A"!
- Give me a "D"!Copy !req
909. - Give me an "A"!
- Give me an "M"!Copy !req
910. - Give me an "S"!
- What's it spell?Copy !req
911. Adams!Copy !req
912. Whoa!Copy !req
913. Look at that! Look at that!Copy !req
914. Break!Copy !req
915. I'd like to present the trophyCopy !req
916. to this year's champions...Copy !req
917. Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu!Copy !req
918. They will be able to select the presidentCopy !req
919. of next year's Greek Council.Copy !req
920. No!Copy !req
921. I'd like to announce
that we've made our selection already.Copy !req
922. It's Gilbert Lowe!Copy !req
923. This sucks. I gotta get rid
of some of this anger.Copy !req
924. - Come on, Betty. Let's go pump some iron.
- No, Stan. I don't think so.Copy !req
925. What do you mean? Let's go. Why not?Copy !req
926. I've got a date with a Tri-Lamb.Copy !req
927. A Tri-Lamb.Copy !req
928. Here's your pin.Copy !req
929. Take it.Copy !req
930. Wait. Betty. Come on.Copy !req
931. God! I'm in love with a nerd!Copy !req
932. - Gable.
- Yeah, Coach?Copy !req
933. I wanna see you and the other girls
in the locker room now!Copy !req
934. Yes, sir.Copy !req
935. When you were a baby in your crib,Copy !req
936. your father looked down at you,Copy !req
937. he had but one hope,Copy !req
938. someday my son will grow to be a man.Copy !req
939. Well, look at you now.Copy !req
940. You just got your asses whippedCopy !req
941. by a bunch of goddamn nerds.Copy !req
942. Nerds!Copy !req
943. If I was you, I'd do somethin' about it.Copy !req
944. I would get up and redeem myselfCopy !req
945. in the eyes of my father,
my maker and my coach!Copy !req
946. - Well, let's get those nerds!
- Nerds!Copy !req
947. - Nerds!
- What are we waitin' for?Copy !req
948. We're Lambda Lambda Lambda andCopy !req
949. Omega Mu!Copy !req
950. Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!Copy !req
951. Come on! Come on!Copy !req
952. I'm a nerd.Copy !req
953. Welcome to the real world.Copy !req
954. I never really wanted to believe that.Copy !req
955. - It's okay.
- It's not okay.Copy !req
956. We're nothing.
We let them destroy our house.Copy !req
957. Lewis, we're gonna control
the Greek Council next year.Copy !req
958. Big deal!Copy !req
959. You'll be dead by then, Gilbert.Copy !req
960. Nobody cares. Don't you understand that?
The university doesn't care.Copy !req
961. There's nothing we can do about it.Copy !req
962. I think we got something good going,Copy !req
963. and I'm not gonna let 'em
take it away from us.Copy !req
964. Gilbert, don't be a fool.Copy !req
965. You'll just get yourself hurt again.Copy !req
966. - Big deal.
- Gilbert.Copy !req
967. I'd like to introduce to you
the men that are gonna bring youCopy !req
968. a homecoming victory
against State tomorrow.Copy !req
969. At defensive back,
number 38, Kevin O'Leary.Copy !req
970. Offensive guard, number 64, Rich Valeroy.Copy !req
971. At center, number 53, Harry Reagan!Copy !req
972. Look who's comin'.Copy !req
973. - Hey! Where you goin', nerd?
- Just leave me alone.Copy !req
974. You guys went way too far this time,
and you're not getting away with it.Copy !req
975. - Oh, is that right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
976. Well, let's see if shit floats.
What do you think of that idea?Copy !req
977. Put me down. Goddamn... Put me down!Copy !req
978. Bombs away!Copy !req
979. And now, our tri-captains.Copy !req
980. Leading the conference in reception,Copy !req
981. at wide receiver, number 84, Danny Burke!Copy !req
982. Our defensive captain,
number 79, Fred Polowosky!Copy !req
983. - Ogre!
- The Ogre!Copy !req
984. Now, our two-time
all-American quarterback,Copy !req
985. number 10, Stan Gable!Copy !req
986. Yeah!Copy !req
987. - Hold it, son! Hold it! Hold it!
- Come on!Copy !req
988. Leave him alone.
Coach, I said leave him alone.Copy !req
989. - What did you say?
- You heard me.Copy !req
990. - I'll break his goddamn neck!
- You will do nothing of the sort.Copy !req
991. Don't you touch that boy.Copy !req
992. Says who?Copy !req
993. Says me,Copy !req
994. you asshole.Copy !req
995. Hold it, Coach!Copy !req
996. You just hold it right there.Copy !req
997. Okay, kid.Copy !req
998. Say what you got to say.Copy !req
999. Thanks.Copy !req
1000. Uh...Copy !req
1001. I just wanted to...
To say that... That I'm a nerd.Copy !req
1002. And I'm here tonight to stand up
for the rights of other nerds.Copy !req
1003. I mean, uh,Copy !req
1004. all our lives we've been laughed at
and made to feel inferior.Copy !req
1005. And tonight,Copy !req
1006. those bastards, they trashed our house.Copy !req
1007. Why? Because we're smart?Copy !req
1008. 'Cause we look different?Copy !req
1009. Well, we're not.Copy !req
1010. I'm a nerd, and, uh, I'm
pretty proud of it.Copy !req
1011. - Hi, Gilbert.
- Hi.Copy !req
1012. I'm a nerd, too.Copy !req
1013. I just found that out tonight.Copy !req
1014. We have news for the beautiful people.Copy !req
1015. There's a lot more of us
than there are of you.Copy !req
1016. I know there's alumni here tonight.Copy !req
1017. When you went to Adams
you might have been called a spazCopy !req
1018. or a dork or a geek.Copy !req
1019. Any of you that have ever feltCopy !req
1020. stepped on, left out, picked on, put down,Copy !req
1021. whether you think you're a nerd or not,
just come down and join us.Copy !req
1022. Come on.Copy !req
1023. - Hi, Betty.
- Hi.Copy !req
1024. Just join us, 'cause... Hi.Copy !req
1025. No one's gonna be free
until nerd persecution ends.Copy !req
1026. Hi, guys.Copy !req
1027. You know, Coach.
I think I'm gonna let these boysCopy !req
1028. live over at the Alpha Beta houseCopy !req
1029. while you and your boys rebuild theirs.Copy !req
1030. - And where the hell are we gonna live?
- Yeah. What about us, huh?Copy !req
1031. You're jocks. Go live in the gym.Copy !req
1032. Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!Copy !req
1033. Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!Copy !req
1034. Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!
Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!Copy !req