Reservoir Dogs (1992)

1. Let me tell you what "Like a Virgin's" about.

2. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick.

3. The entire song— It's a metaphor for big dicks.

4. No, it ain't.

5. It's about a girl who's very vulnerable.

6. She's been fucked over a few times

7. and then she meets a guy who's very sensitive.

8. Whoa! Tell that fucking bullshit to the tourists.

9. Toby? Who the fuck is Toby?

10. "Like a Virgin's" not about some sensitive girl

11. who meets a nice fella.

12. That's what "True Blue's" about.

13. Granted, no argument about that.

14. Which one's "True Blue"?

15. You ain't heard "True Blue"?

16. I don't follow that tops in pops shit,

17. and I've heard "True Blue."

18. I asked how it goes.

19. Excuse me for not being the world's biggest Madonna fan.

20. Personally, I can do without her.

21. I used to like her early stuff— "Borderline."

22. When she got into that "Papa Don't Preach" phase,

23. I tuned out.

24. You're making me lose my train of thought.

25. I was saying something. What was it?

26. Oh, Toby's that little Chinese girl.

27. What was her last name?

28. What's that?

29. It's an old address book

30. I found in a coat I haven't worn in a coon's age.

31. What the fuck was I talking about?

32. You said "True Blue"

33. was about a sensitive girl who meets a nice guy,

34. but "Like a Virgin" was a metaphor for big dicks.

35. Here's what "Like a Virgin's" about.

36. It's about this cooz who's a regular fuck machine.

37. I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon—

38. dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

39. How many dicks is that?

40. A lot.

41. Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker,

42. and it's like, whoa, baby.

43. This cat is like Charles Branson in The Great Escape.

44. He's digging tunnels.

45. She's getting serious dick action

46. and feeling something she ain't felt since forever-

47. Pain.

48. Pain.

49. Chu. Toby Chu.

50. It hurts. It hurts her.

51. It shouldn't hurt her.

52. Her pussy should be bubbleyum,

53. but when this cat fucks her, it hurts.

54. It hurts just like it did the first time.

55. The pain is reminding a fuck machine

56. what it was like to be a virgin.

57. Hence, "Like a Virgin."

58. Wong.

59. Give me that fucking thing.

60. Give me my book back.

61. I'm sick of hearing it.

62. I'll give it back to you when we leave.

63. What do you mean? Give it back now.

64. For the past 15 minutes now,

65. you've been droning on about names.

66. Toby...

67. Toby...

68. Toby...

69. Toby Chung...

70. Toby Chung...

71. Toby Chung...

72. Toby Chung...

73. fucking Charlie Chan.

74. I've got Madonna's big dick

75. coming out of my left ear

76. and Toby the Jap coming out of my right.

77. Give me that book.

78. Are you going to put it away?

79. I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want with it.

80. Then I'm going to have to keep it.

81. Hey, Joe,

82. want me to shoot this guy?

83. Shit.

84. You shoot me in a dream,

85. you better wake up and apologize.

86. Ha ha ha!

87. Have you been listening

88. to K-Billy's SuperSounds of the Seventies Weekend?

89. Oh, yeah. That's fucking great.

90. Can you believe the songs they're playing?

91. - You know what I heard? - "Heartbeat"

92. by little Tony DeFranco and the DeFranco Family.

93. When I was coming down here,

94. "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" came on.

95. I ain't heard that since it was big.

96. When it was big, I heard it a million times.

97. This is the first time I realized

98. the girl singing shot Andy.

99. You didn't know Vicki Lawrence shot Andy?

100. I thought the cheating wife shot Andy.

101. They say that at the end of the song.

102. I know. I just heard it.

103. I must have zoned out during that part before.

104. All right.

105. I'll take care of the check.

106. You guys can get the tip.

107. Should be about a buck apiece.

108. And you, when I come back, I want my book.

109. Sorry. It's my book now.

110. Hey, I changed my mind.

111. Shoot this piece of shit, will you?

112. All right.

113. Everybody cough up some green for the little lady.

114. Come on. Throw in a buck.

115. Uh-uh. I don't tip.

116. You don't tip?

117. I don't believe in it.

118. You don't believe in tipping.

119. You know what they make?

120. They make shit.

121. She don't make enough money, she can quit.

122. I don't know a fuckingjew

123. who'd have the balls to say that.

124. You don't ever tip, huh?

125. I don't tip because society says I have to.

126. I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip,

127. if they really put forth the effort,

128. but this tipping automatically is for the birds.

129. They're just doing their job.

130. Hey, this girl was nice.

131. She wasn't anything special.

132. What's special,

133. take you in the back and suckyourdick?

134. I'd go over 12% for that.

135. Hey, look.

136. I ordered coffee, right?

137. She's only filled my cup three times.

138. I want it filled six times.

139. Six times?

140. Well, what if she's too fucking busy?

141. Words "too fucking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary.

142. The last fucking thing you need's another cup of coffee.

143. These ladies aren't starving to death.

144. They make minimum wage.

145. I used to work minimum wage.

146. I wasn't lucky enough

147. to have a job society deemed tip-worthy.

148. You don't care they're counting on your tips to live?

149. You know what this is?

150. It's the world's smallest violin

151. playing just for the waitresses.

152. You don't have any idea what you're talking about.

153. These people bust their ass.

154. This is a hard job.

155. So's working at McDonald's,

156. but you don't tip them.

157. Why not? They're serving you food.

158. Society says don't tip these guys but tip these guys.

159. That's bullshit.

160. Waitressing is the number one occupation

161. for female noncollege graduates in this country.

162. It's the one job basically any woman can get

163. and make a living on.

164. The reason is their tips.

165. Fuck all that.

166. Ha ha ha!

167. Jesus Christ!

168. I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips.

169. That's fucked up. That ain't my fault.

170. It would appear that waitresses

171. are one of the groups

172. the government fucks in the ass regularly.

173. Show me a piece of paper

174. that says the government shouldn't do that,

175. I'll sign it.

176. This noncollege bullshit— I got two words for that—

177. learn to fucking type.

178. Don't expect me to help with the rent.

179. I'm convinced. Give me my dollar.

180. Hey!

181. Leave the dollars there.

182. All right, ramblers, let's get ramblin'.

183. Wait a minute.

184. Who didn't throw in?

185. Mr. Pink.

186. Mr. Pink?

187. Why not?

188. He don't tip.

189. He don't tip?

190. What do you mean you don't tip?

191. He don't believe in it.

192. Shut up.

193. What do you mean?

194. Cough up a buck, you cheap bastard.

195. I paid for your goddamn breakfast.

196. Since you paid, I'll put in,

197. but normally I'd never do this.

198. Never mind what you normally would do.

199. You should cough in your goddamn buck

200. like everybody else.

201. Thank you.

202. That was the Partridge Family's

203. "Doesn't Somebody Want To Be Wanted?"

204. Followed by Edison Lighthouse's

205. "Love Grows"

206. as K-Billy's Super Sounds of the Seventies Weekend

207. just keeps on truckin'.

208. Oh, God!

209. Oh, shit!

210. I'm going to die!

211. I'm going to die!

212. I'm going to die!

213. Just hold on, buddy boy!

214. I'm going to die!

215. Hey!

216. I'm sorry!

217. I can't believe she killed me, man.

218. Who'd have fucking thought that?

219. Hey!

220. Just cancel that shit right now!

221. You're hurt.

222. You're hurt real fucking bad,

223. but you ain't dying!

224. I'm going to die!

225. I'm going to d—

226. Oh, shit.

227. All this blood scares the shit out of me, Larry!

228. I'm going to die! I know it!

229. Excuse me. I didn't realize you had a degree in medicine.

230. Uh, are you a doctor?

231. Are you a doctor?

232. Answer me, please.

233. Are you a doctor?

234. Huh?

235. - No, I'm not. I'm not. - O.K.

236. So you admit

237. you don't know what you're talking about.

238. So if you're through giving me your amateur opinion,

239. listen to the news.

240. I'm taking you to the rendezvous.

241. Joe's going to get you a doctor.

242. The doctor's going to fix you up,

243. and you're going to be O.K.

244. Now say it!

245. You're going to be O.K.!

246. Say it!

247. You're going to be O.K.!

248. Say the goddamn words.

249. You're going to be O.K.!

250. Oh, God!

251. Say the goddamn fucking words!

252. Say it!

253. I'm O.K., Larry.

254. Correct!

255. Correct.

256. I'm O.K.

257. Look where we are.

258. Look where we are.

259. Larry!

260. She had a baby, man!

261. She had a baby!

262. Now we're in the warehouse.

263. Who's a tough guy?

264. Who's a tough guy?

265. Come on. Who's a tough guy?

266. I'm a tough guy, Larry!

267. You're a tough guy.

268. You're a fucking tough guy.

269. O.K.

270. O.K.

271. We're in the warehouse.

272. Look where we are.

273. We made it.

274. We made it.

275. We fucking made it.

276. We have fucking made it.

277. We're in the warehouse.

278. Look where we are.

279. Look where we are.

280. Hold on, buddy boy.

281. Hold on.

282. Hold on.

283. Hold on.

284. Shit!

285. Stop banging your head.

286. You're going to bang a fucking hole in the floor.

287. You don't want to hurt the fucking floor, do you?

288. I can't do anything for you,

289. but when Joe gets here,

290. which should be anytime now,

291. he's going to help you out.

292. He's going to take care of you.

293. We're going to sit here and wait for Joe.

294. Who are we waiting for?

295. Joe.

296. Larry...

297. I'm so fucking scared, man.

298. Would you please hold me?

299. Yeah, sure.

300. It's all right.

301. It's all right.

302. Ooh!

303. You go ahead and be scared.

304. You've been brave enough for one day.

305. I just want you to relax now, O.K.?

306. You're not going to fucking die.

307. You're going to be fine.

308. Whenjoe gets here,

309. he'll make you 100% again.

310. I'm hurt. I'm hurt bad, Larry.

311. It's not good.

312. No.

313. Hey, Larry...

314. bless your heart for what you're trying to do.

315. I was panicking for a minute back there,

316. but I got my senses back now.

317. Situation is I'm shot in the belly.

318. Without medical attention, I'm going to die.

319. I can't take you to a hospital.

320. Fuck jail, man!

321. You don't have to take me in.

322. Just drive me up to the front, man.

323. Just drop me on the sidewalk.

324. I'll take care of myself.

325. I won't tell them anything, man.

326. I won't tell them anything, man.

327. I swear to fucking God, man!

328. Just look in my eyes, Larry.

329. Look in my eyes.

330. I won't tell them anything, man.

331. You'll be safe, man.

332. You're not going to fucking die, kid,

333. all right?

334. Listen to me.

335. You're going to be fine.

336. Along with the kneecap,

337. the gut is the most painful area

338. a guy can get shot in.

339. No shit!

340. But it takes a long time to die from it.

341. I'm talking days.

342. You're going to wish you were dead,

343. but it takes days to die from your wound.

344. Time is on your side.

345. Was that a fucking setup or what?

346. Fucking right!

347. Shit! Orange got tagged?

348. Gut shot.

349. Fuck!

350. Where's, uh, Brown?

351. Dead.

352. Oh...

353. how did he die?

354. How the fuck do you think?

355. The cops shot him.

356. This is bad.

357. This is so fucking bad.

358. Is it bad?

359. As opposed to good?

360. Man, this is fucked up.

361. This is so fucked up.

362. Somebody fucked us up big time, man.

363. You really think we were set up?

364. Do you even doubt it?

365. I know we got set up.

366. Where did all those cops come from?

367. One minute they're not there.

368. The next minute they're there.

369. I didn't hear any sirens.

370. When an alarm goes off,

371. you got an average of four minutes response time.

372. Unless a patrol car is cruising that street,

373. you got four minutes before they can realistically respond.

374. In one minute, there were 17 blue boys out there.

375. They were all just there.

376. Remember that second wave that showed up in the cars?

377. Those were the ones responding to the alarm.

378. Those first ones were there waiting for us.

379. Haven't you fucking thought about this?

380. I haven't had a chance to think.

381. I was just trying to get the fuck out of there.

382. After we got away, I've been dealing with him.

383. Let's start fucking thinking about it.

384. I wasn't even going to come here.

385. I was going to just drive off

386. because there could have been cops here waiting for us.

387. There could be cops coming here right now!

388. Let's go in the other room.

389. Hey! Right in there.

390. Don't leave me!

391. I'm going to die.

392. I'll be right there, O.K.?

393. I'll be right there looking at you.

394. I'm right here looking at you, O.K.?

395. Right in here.

396. Right over there.

397. Larry.

398. I'm going to fucking die.

399. Larry!

400. What the fuck am I doing here, man?

401. I felt funny about this job right off.

402. As soon as I felt it, I should have walked,

403. but I didn't fucking listen.

404. It's like every time I got caught buying weed.

405. I didn't trust the guy,

406. but I wanted to believe him.

407. Every time I feel this way aboutajob,

408. I fucking walk, and I didn't

409. because of the fucking money!

410. What's done is done.

411. I need you cool.

412. Are you cool?

413. I am cool.

414. Splash some water on your face.

415. Take a breather.

416. Relax.

417. Have a cigarette.

418. I quit.

419. All right.

420. Why, you got one?

421. Yeah.

422. Here you go.

423. Have a Chesterfield.

424. Thanks.

425. O.K.

426. Let's go through what happened.

427. O.K.

428. We're in the place. Everything's going fine.

429. Then the alarm gets tripped.

430. Right.

431. I turn around and all these cops are outside.

432. You're right,

433. because bam! I blinked my eyes, and they're there.

434. Everybody starts going ape shit.

435. Then Mr. Blonde starts to shoot all the em-

436. That's not correct.

437. What's wrong with it?

438. O.K.

439. The cops did not show up after the alarm went off.

440. They didn't show up until Mr. Blonde started shooting everybody.

441. I heard the alarm. I saw the cops.

442. They didn't let their presence be known

443. until Mr. Blonde became a madman.

444. I'm not saying they weren't there. They were,

445. but they didn't make their move

446. until Mr. Blonde started shooting everybody.

447. That's how I know we were set up.

448. Come on, Mr. White, you could see that.

449. Enough of this Mr. White shit.

450. Don't tell me your fucking name!

451. I don't want to know it.

452. I ain't going to tell you mine.

453. You're right. This is bad.

454. How did you get out?

455. I shot my way out.

456. Everybody started shooting,

457. so I blasted my way out of there.

458. Move it!

459. Get out of the way!

460. Get out of the way!

461. Get out of the way!

462. Jesus Christ!

463. What the fuck is your problem, man?

464. You fucking asshole!

465. Fucker!

466. Move!

467. Get down, Ernie!

468. Jesus!

469. Get the fuck out of the car!

470. Move it! Get out of the way!

471. Aah!

472. I tagged a couple of cops.

473. Did you kill anybody?

474. A few cops.

475. No real people?

476. Just cops.

477. Man, could you believe Mr. Blonde?

478. That was the most insane fucking thing

479. I have ever seen.

480. Why wouldjoe hire a guy like that?

481. I don't want to kill anybody.

482. If I got to get out that door

483. and you're standing I n my way,

484. you're getting out of my way.

485. That's the way I look at it.

486. The choice between doing 10 years

487. and taking out some stupid motherfucker

488. ain't no choice at all,

489. but I ain't no madman, either.

490. What the fuck wasjoe thinking?

491. I can't work with a guy like that.

492. We're awful goddamn lucky he didn't tag us

493. when he shot the place up.

494. I came this close to taking his ass out myself.

495. I mean, everybody panics.

496. Everybody.

497. Things get tense. It's human nature, you panic.

498. I don't care what your name is.

499. You can't help it.

500. Fuck, man, you panic on the inside,

501. in your head, you know?

502. You give yourself a couple of seconds.

503. You get ahold of the situation.

504. You don't start killing people.

505. No. What you're supposed to do

506. is act like a fucking professional.

507. A psychopath ain't a professional.

508. Can't work with a psychopath.

509. You don't know what those sick assholes

510. are going to do next.

511. I mean, Jesus Christ,

512. how old do you think that black girl was, 20?

513. Maybe 21?

514. If that.

515. Hey, look,

516. did you see what happened to anybody else?

517. Me and Orange jumped in the car,

518. Brown floored it.

519. After that, I don't know what went down.

520. It was every man for himself.

521. About Mr. Blonde and Mr. Blue,

522. I ain't got the foggiest.

523. I never looked back.

524. What do you think?

525. What do I think?

526. I mean, the cops either caught 'em or killed 'em.

527. No chance they punched through?

528. You found a hole.

529. And that was a fucking miracle.

530. Even if they did get away,

531. then where the fuck are they?

532. You don't think it's possible that one got the diamonds and...

533. Noway.

534. How can you be so sure?

535. I got the diamonds.

536. That's my boy.

537. Where?

538. I stashed 'em.

539. If you want to come with me,

540. let's go get them now,

541. 'cause I think staying here,

542. we should have our fucking heads examined.

543. That was the plan- meeting here.

544. Then where the fuck is everybody?

545. The plan's null and void once there's a rat in the house.

546. We don't know what happened to Mr. Blonde and Mr. Blue.

547. They could be dead or arrested.

548. The cops could be sweating them down.

549. They don't know our names,

550. but they could be singing about this place.

551. I swear to God,

552. I think I'm fucking jinxed.

553. What?

554. Two jobs back, it was a four-man job.

555. We discovered one of the team was an undercover cop.

556. No shit.

557. Thank God we discovered it in time.

558. Had to forget the whole thing, just walkaway from it.

559. So who's the rat this time—

560. Mr. Blue...

561. Mr. Brown...

562. Joe?

563. Joe set this up.

564. Maybe he set it up to set it up.

565. No. Me andjoe go back a long time.

566. Joe definitely didn't know about this bullshit.

567. I've known Joe since I was a kid.

568. Me saying he had nothing to do with it is ridiculous.

569. I could say I didn't do it

570. 'cause I know what I did or didn't do,

571. but I cannot say that about anybody else

572. 'cause I don't definitely know.

573. For all I know, you're the rat.

574. For all I know, you're the fucking rat!

575. All right! Now you're using your fucking head!

576. For all we know, he's the rat.

577. That kid in there's dying

578. from a fucking bullet I saw him take,

579. so don't you be calling him a rat!

580. Look, I'm right, O.K.?

581. Somebody's a fucking rat.

582. Where's the commode in this dungeon?

583. I got to take a squirt.

584. Go down the hall, make a left,

585. go up the stairs, and make a right.

586. By the way, how's Alabama?

587. Alabama?

588. I haven't seen 'Bama in over a year and a half.

589. I thought you two were a team.

590. We were for a little while.

591. Did about four jobs together,

592. then decided to call it quits.

593. Why?

594. You push that woman/man thing too long

595. and it gets to you after a while.

596. What's she doing now?

597. She hooked up with Frank McGarr.

598. They've done a couplejobs together.

599. Hell of a woman. Good little thief.

600. So explain the telegram.

601. Five-man job

602. busting in and out of a diamond wholesaler's.

603. Can you move the ice afterwards?

604. I know nobody that can.

605. We got guys waiting for it.

606. What about Marcello Spivey?

607. Didn't he always move your ice?

608. He's doing 20 years in Susanville.

609. 20 years?

610. Holy God.

611. What for?

612. Bad luck.

613. You could say that again.

614. What's the exposure like?

615. Two minutes tops,

616. but it's a tough two minutes—

617. daylight during business hours,

618. dealing with the crowd,

619. but you'll have the guys to deal with the crowd.

620. How many employees?

621. Around 20. Security pretty lax.

622. They most usually deal in boxes,

623. uncut stones for the diamond syndicate,

624. but on this particular day,

625. they're getting a shipment of polished stones from Israel.

626. They're like a way station.

627. They're to get picked up the next day

628. and sent to Vermont.

629. No, they're not.

630. What's the cut, papa?

631. Juicy, junior.

632. Real juicy.

633. Hey, look, man, you do what you want.

634. I'm out of here.

635. I'm checking into a motel.

636. I'll lay low, and I'll call Joe—

637. Shit. Did he fucking die on us?

638. Huh? Is he dead or what?

639. He ain't dead.

640. What is it?

641. I think he's just passed out.

642. Scared the shit out of me.

643. I thought he was dead for sure.

644. Without medical attention,

645. he will die for sure.

646. What'll we do? We can't take him to a hospital.

647. Without medical attention,

648. that man might not live through the night.

649. The bullet in his belly is my fault.

650. That might not mean jackshitto you.

651. It means a lot to me.

652. Staying here's goofy. We got to book up.

653. What do you suggest, we go to a hotel?

654. We got a guy shot in the belly who can't walk.

655. He bleeds like a stuck pig.

656. When he's awake, he screams in pain.

657. You got an idea, spit it out.

658. Joe could help.

659. We get in touch withjoe.

660. Joe could get him to a doctor.

661. Joe could get a doctor to see him.

662. Assuming we can trustjoe,

663. how will we get in touch with him?

664. He's supposed to be here, but he ain't,

665. which is making me very nervous about being here.

666. Even if he's on the up and up,

667. I don't think he'll be happy with us.

668. He planned a robbery. He's got a blood bath now.

669. He's got dead cops, dead robbers, dead civilians.

670. I tend to doubt he'll have sympathy for our plight.

671. If I was him,

672. I'd put as much distance between me and this mess

673. as humanly possible.

674. Before you got here,

675. Mr. Orange was asking me to take him to a doctor,

676. to a hospital.

677. I don't like the idea of turning him over to the cops,

678. but if we don't, he'll die.

679. He begged me to do it.

680. Well, all right. We take him to a hospital.

681. If that's what he said, let's do it.

682. Since he don't know nothing about us, it's his decision.

683. He knows a little about me.

684. What?

685. You didn't tell him your name, did you?

686. I told him my first name and where I was from.

687. Why?

688. I told him where I was from a few days ago.

689. It was just a natural conversation.

690. What was telling him your name

691. when you weren't supposed to?

692. He asked.

693. We had just gotten away from the cops.

694. He just got shot.

695. It was my fault he got shot.

696. He's a fucking bloody mess.

697. He's screaming.

698. I thought he was going to die

699. right then and there.

700. I'm trying to comfort him,

701. telling him not to worry,

702. everything will be O.K. I'll take care of him.

703. And he asked me what my name was.

704. I mean, the man was dying in my arms.

705. What the fuck was I supposed to do,

706. tell him I'm sorry?

707. I can't give out that fucking information!

708. It's against the rules!

709. I don't trust you enough!

710. Well, maybe I should've, but I couldn't.

711. - I— - Fuck you, and fuck Joe!

712. I'm sure it was a very beautiful scene.

713. Don't fucking patronize me!

714. Do they have a sheet on you, where you're from?

715. Yeah!

716. Well, that's that, man.

717. I was worried about mug shot possibilities anyway.

718. Now he knows your name, what you look like,

719. where you're from, and what your specialty is.

720. They won't show him many pictures to pickyou out.

721. You tell him anything else to narrow the selection?

722. If I have to tell you again to back off,

723. we'll go 'round and 'round.

724. We ain't taking him to a hospital.

725. If we don't, he'll die.

726. I'm sad about that.

727. Some fellas are lucky, some ain't.

728. What are you touching me for, man?

729. I'll show you who you're fucking with!

730. You want to shoot me? Go ahead. Take a shot.

731. Fuck you, White.

732. I didn't create this situation. I'm dealing with it.

733. You're acting like a first-year thief.

734. I'm acting like a professional!

735. If they get him, they can get you

736. and get closer to me, and that can't happen.

737. Is it my fault?

738. I didn't tell him my name or where I was from!

739. 15 minutes ago, you almost told meyour name.

740. Your buddy got stuck in a situation you created.

741. If you want to throw bad looks somewhere,

742. throw them at a mirror!

743. You kids shouldn't play so rough.

744. Somebody's going to start crying.

745. Mr. Blonde.

746. Shit, you're fucking kicking me.

747. What happened to you?

748. I figured you were dead.

749. Hey! You O.K.?

750. Did you see what happened to Blue?

751. We didn't know what happened to you and Blue.

752. Look, Brown is dead, Orange got it in the belly.

753. Enough! Enough!

754. You better start talking, asshole,

755. 'cause we got shit we need to talk about.

756. We're already freaked out.

757. We need you acting freaky

758. like we need a fucking bag on our hip.

759. O.K. Let's talk.

760. We think we got a rat in the house.

761. I guarantee we got a rat.

762. What makes you say that?

763. Is that supposed to be funny?

764. Look, we think this place ain't safe.

765. We're leaving. You should go with us.

766. Nobody's going anywhere.

767. Piss on this fucking turd!

768. We're out of here.

769. Don't take another step, Mr. White.

770. Fuck you, maniac!

771. It's your fucking fault we're in this trouble.

772. What's this guy's problem?

773. What's my problem?

774. Yeah, I got a problem.

775. I got a big fucking problem!

776. A trigger-happy madman almost gets me shot!

777. What the fuck you talking about?

778. That fucking shooting spree!

779. In the store, remember?

780. Ah, fuck 'em. They set off the alarm.

781. They deserve what they got.

782. You almost killed me!

783. Asshole!

784. If I'd known what kind of guy you were,

785. I never would've agreed to work with you.

786. Are you going to barkall day, little doggy,

787. or are you going to bite?

788. What was that?

789. I'm sorry. I didn't catch it.

790. Would you repeat it?

791. Are you going to barkall day, little doggy,

792. or are you going to bite?

793. Look, assholes, calm the fuck down.

794. Hey, come on, back off!

795. Have we got a playground here?

796. Am I the only professional?

797. You're acting like a bunch of fucking niggers,

798. always saying they'll kill each other.

799. You said you thought about taking him out.

800. You fucking said that?

801. Yeah, I did, but that was then.

802. Right now, he's the only one I completely trust.

803. He's too homicidal to be working with the cops.

804. You're taking his side?

805. Fuck sides! What we need is solidarity.

806. Somebody's sticking a red-hot poker up our asses.

807. I want to know whose name's on the handle.

808. I know I'm no piece of shit.

809. I'm pretty sure you're O.K.

810. And I'm fucking positive you're on the level.

811. Let's try and figure out who the bad guy is, all right?

812. Wow.

813. That was really exciting.

814. I bet you're a big Lee Marvin fan, aren't you?

815. Me, too. I love that guy.

816. My heart's beating so fast,

817. I'm about to have a heart attack here.

818. Yeah?

819. I got something outside

820. that I'd like to show you guys,

821. so follow me.

822. Follow you? Where?

823. To my car.

824. What, you forget your French fries to go with the soda?

825. I had them already.

826. I got something I think you might want to see.

827. I'm sure you'll like it. Come on.

828. We still got to get out of here, you know.

829. No. We'll stick around. We'll wait.

830. What for, the cops?

831. No. Nice Guy Eddie.

832. Nice Guy Eddie?

833. What makes you think he isn't on a plane

834. halfway to Costa Rica?

835. I spoke to him on the phone. He's on his way.

836. Why didn'tyou say that in the first place?

837. 'Cause you never asked me.

838. Har-de-fucking-har. What'd he say?

839. He said stay put,

840. so in the meantime...

841. I'll show you guys something.

842. Jesus Christ.

843. Maybe our boy in blue can answer some questions

844. about this rat business you've been talking about.

845. You're a piece of work, my friend.

846. Ain't a bad idea. Let's get him out.

847. Hey, Sid, will you relax?

848. I know you a long time.

849. I'm not worried. I know you'll pay me back.

850. Don't tell me what I already know.

851. Don't embarrass me.

852. You had a few bad months.

853. You do what everybody else does,

854. whetheryou'rej.P. Morgan orlrving the Tailor-

855. You ride it out.

856. Vic Vega's outside.

857. Hold on.

858. Who?

859. Vic Vega.

860. Oh. Tell him to come in.

861. Come on in.

862. A friend of mine's outside.

863. Keep your chin up. I'll be talking to you.

864. Don't worry.

865. Hey, welcome home, Vic.

866. Joe.

867. How does freedom feel, huh?

868. It's a change.

869. Ain't that the sad truth?

870. Sit down. Take your coat off. Make yourself at home.

871. Want a little drink?

872. How about a little Remy Martin?

873. Sure.

874. Who's your parole officer?

875. Seymour Scagnetti.

876. How is he?

877. He's a fucking asshole.

878. Won't even let me leave the halfway house.

879. It never ceases to amaze me.

880. A fucking jungle-bunny slits a woman's throat for 25 cents,

881. he gets Doris Day for a parole officer.

882. Good fella like you winds up with a ball-busting prick.

883. I want you to know I appreciate

884. all the packages you sent me on the inside.

885. What was I supposed to do, forget about you?

886. I want you to know it meant a lot to me.

887. It was the least I could do.

888. I wish I could've done more.

889. Thanks a lot, Joe.

890. Ah, Vic.

891. Toothpick Vic.

892. So tell me your story, kid.

893. What are your plans?

894. You son of a bitch.

895. I see you sitting there, but I don't believe it.

896. Hi, Eddie.

897. Ahh!

898. All right!

899. Listen, I'm sorry.

900. I should've picked you up myself.

901. I was— This week's been crazy.

902. I've had my head up my ass.

903. Funny you should say that.

904. That's what me and your daddy was talking about,

905. that you had your head up your ass.

906. I walk in the door,

907. he's like, "Vic, I'm glad somebody's finally here

908. "who knows what's going on.

909. "My son Eddie's a fuck-up.

910. "He's ruining the business.

911. "I mean, I love the guy,

912. but he's flushing everything down the toilet."

913. That's what you said, right, Joe?

914. I hate for you to hear it like this,

915. but Vic come in and asks me how business was,

916. and you don't lie to a guy fresh from the slammer.

917. That's very true.

918. All right! Enough of this shit!

919. Break it up!

920. Come on! This ain't a playground!

921. Ha ha ha!

922. You guys want to roll around on the floor,

923. you do it in Eddie's office, not mine.

924. Daddy, did you see that?

925. He got me on the ground and tried to fuck me.

926. You wish.

927. You sick bastard, Vic.

928. You tried to fuck me in my father's office.

929. Whatever you want to do in your own home, go to it,

930. but don't try to fuck me.

931. I don't think of you that way.

932. I like you, but I don't think of you that way.

933. If I was a butt cowboy,

934. I wouldn't even throw you to the posse.

935. No. You'd keep me for yourself.

936. Four years fucking punks up the ass,

937. you'd appreciate some prime rib when you see it.

938. I might break you in, nice guy,

939. but I'd make you my dog's bitch.

940. Ain't that a sad sight?

941. A man walks into prison a white man,

942. walks out talking like a fucking nigger.

943. I thinkit'sall that black semen

944. been pumped up your ass so far,

945. now it's backed into your brain and coming out your mouth.

946. Eddie, you keep talking like a bitch,

947. I'll slap you like a bitch.

948. All right, enough of this shit!

949. I'm sick of it!

950. Now, both of you, sit down.

951. Now, Eddie,

952. when you come in here,

953. we were talking some serious business.

954. Now Vic here's got a parole problem.

955. Who's your P.O.?

956. Seymour Scagnetti.

957. Scagnetti.

958. Fuck.

959. I hear he's a motherfucker.

960. Oh, he's a fucker.

961. Won't let me leave the halfway house,

962. unless I get some shitty job.

963. You're coming back to work for us, right?

964. Well, I want to.

965. First I got to prove to asshead

966. that I can get a regular job-type job

967. before I can move out on my own.

968. I can't work for you guys

969. if I got to worry about making some silly-ass 10:00 curfew

970. every fucking night.

971. We can work this out, can't we, Eddie?

972. This ain't all that bad.

973. We can get you a lot of legitimate jobs.

974. I'll get you down in Long Beach as a dock worker.

975. I don't want to lift crates.

976. Vic, you ain't going to lift shit.

977. You'll never work there,

978. but as far as the records are concerned, you do.

979. I call Matthews, tell him he's got a new guy—

980. Boom— you're on the rotation.

981. A time card's clocked in and out for you.

982. At the end of the week, you get a nice paycheck.

983. Dock workers do very well.

984. You move into a decent place

985. without scagnetti going, "Where's the money coming from?"

986. If he decides to make a surprise visit,

987. that's the day we sent you to Tustin,

988. pick up a load of shit and bring it back.

989. If he comes back again,

990. "Sorry, Seymour. You just missed him.

991. "We had to send him out five fucking hours away.

992. We had a load of shit we had him pick up."

993. Part ofyourjob is going different places.

994. We got places all over the place.

995. See, Vic? Did I tell you not to worry?

996. Here Vic was worried.

997. I'll take you to Long Beach tomorrow.

998. We'll get you fixed up with Matthews, tell him what's what.

999. You know, I really appreciate what you guys are doing,

1000. but I'd like to know when I can come back

1001. and do some real work.

1002. Well, it's hard to say.

1003. It's kind of a strange time now.

1004. Things are kind of—

1005. They're a little fucked up is what they are.

1006. We're just getting ready for a big meeting right now.

1007. Just let Eddie for now set you up at Long Beach,

1008. get you a job, give you some cash,

1009. get this Scagnetti fuck off your back,

1010. then we'll talk to you, all right?

1011. Huh?

1012. Dad...

1013. I got an idea.

1014. Now, just— just hear me out.

1015. I know you don't like using the boys on these jobs,

1016. but Vic, he's only been nothing but good luck for us.

1017. The guy's a fucking rabbit's foot.

1018. I'd like to have him in.

1019. You know he can handle himself,

1020. and you damn sure know you can trust him.

1021. Vic, how would you feel about pulling a job

1022. with about five other guys?

1023. I'd feel great about it.

1024. K-Billy's Super Sounds of the Seventies continues.

1025. And if you're the 12th caller,

1026. you'll win two tickets to the monster-truck extravaganza

1027. being held tonight at the Carson fairgrounds,

1028. featuring Big Daddy Don Bodine's truck the Behemoth.

1029. 12th caller wins on the station

1030. where the seventies survived.

1031. Hey, Dove, we got a major situation here.

1032. I know you know that.

1033. I got to see what Daddy wants done.

1034. All I know is Vic said

1035. it was a fucking bullet festival.

1036. Took a cop hostage just to get out.

1037. Get up!

1038. You think I'm fucking joking?

1039. There's a fucking cop in his trunk!

1040. I don't know who did what!

1041. I don't know if anybody's got the loot.

1042. I don't know who's dead, who's alive,

1043. who's caught, who's not!

1044. I will know.

1045. I'm practically there now.

1046. But what do I tell these guys about Daddy?

1047. All right.

1048. You're sure that's what he said?

1049. O.K., that's what I'll tell them.

1050. You like being a fucking hero, huh?

1051. You like being a fucking hero?

1052. Ow, fuck!

1053. You're going to suffer for nothing, pal.

1054. You hear me?

1055. 'Cause you're going to fucking talk.

1056. I don't fucking know anything!

1057. You fucking know.

1058. You know. Look at me.

1059. - What in the Sam Hill's going on here? - Nice guy, we got a cop.

1060. What's going on? Where the fuck isjoe?

1061. Holy shit. Orange is dead.

1062. He's not, but he will be

1063. if he's not taken care of.

1064. We were set up. Cops were waiting for us.

1065. Nobody fucking set anybody up!

1066. Cops were waiting, man!

1067. Bullshit.

1068. Fuck you! You weren't there!

1069. Cops had that store staked out!

1070. O.K., Mr. Fucking Detective,

1071. you're so fucking smart.

1072. Huh? Who did it?

1073. That's what we've been asking.

1074. What you come up with?

1075. You think I fucking set you up?

1076. I don't know. Somebody did.

1077. Nobody did.

1078. You fucking assholes turned a jewelry store into-

1079. Don't you call me an asshole!

1080. You fucking idiot—

1081. Turned a jewelry store into a Wild West show,

1082. and you wonder why the fucking cops show up!

1083. Where's Joseph?

1084. I don't know. I ain't talked to him.

1085. I talked to Dove.

1086. He says Daddy's coming here, and he's pissed.

1087. He's pissed? I told you he'd be pissed.

1088. What didjoe say?

1089. I ain't talked to him!

1090. All I know is he's pissed.

1091. What will you do about him?

1092. Give me a break. I got questions of my own.

1093. You ain't dying. He is.

1094. Mr. Fucking Compassion, I will call somebody!

1095. Who?

1096. Fucking snake charmer. Who do you think?

1097. I'll call a doctor!

1098. He'll fix him right up.

1099. Now, what happened to Brown and Blue?

1100. Brown's dead. We don't know about Blue.

1101. Brown's dead? Are you sure?

1102. I'm sure. I was there.

1103. He took one in the head.

1104. Nobody knows about Mr. Blue?

1105. Either he's alive, or he's dead,

1106. or the cops got him,

1107. or they don't.

1108. This is the bastard you told me about?

1109. Why you beating on him?

1110. Maybe he can tell us who set us up.

1111. Beat this prick enough,

1112. he'll tell you he started the Chicago fire.

1113. That don't necessarily make it fucking so!

1114. Come on, man, think!

1115. All right! First things fucking last—

1116. Who's got the stones?

1117. Please, somebody, at least, tell me one little favor.

1118. I got them. I got them, O.K.?

1119. I stashed them to make sure this place

1120. wasn't a police station.

1121. Good for you.

1122. Now, let's go get it.

1123. First, get rid of those cars.

1124. Looks like Sam's hot car lot out there.

1125. Blondie, stay here and babysit them two.

1126. White and Pink, take a car each.

1127. I'll follow you. You ditch them.

1128. We'll pick up the stones.

1129. While I'm following, I'll arrange a doctor for our friend.

1130. We can't leave them with him.

1131. Why not?

1132. 'Cause he's a fucking psycho.

1133. And if you think Joe's pissed off,

1134. that's nothing compared to how pissed I am at him

1135. for putting me in the same room as that bastard!

1136. See what I've been putting up with, Eddie?

1137. I fucking walked in here,

1138. I told these guys about staying put,

1139. Mr. White whips out his gun,

1140. he's sticking it in my face,

1141. calling me a motherfucker,

1142. saying he's going to blow me away,

1143. and blah, blah, blah, blah.

1144. He's the reason the joint turned into a shooting spree.

1145. What are you, a fucking silent partner?

1146. Tell him!

1147. He went crazy in the store.

1148. He seems all right now.

1149. Here's what he did—

1150. bam... bam... bam... bam.

1151. Yeah, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

1152. I said not to touch the fucking alarm, they did.

1153. If they hadn't done

1154. what I told them not to do,

1155. they'd still be alive.

1156. My fucking hero.

1157. Thanks.

1158. That's your excuse for going on a kill-crazy rampage?

1159. I don't like alarms, Mr. White.

1160. What's it matter who stays with the cop?

1161. We ain't letting him go,

1162. not after he's seen everybody.

1163. I haven't been looking.

1164. Shut the fuck up, man!

1165. You guys should've never taken him out of the trunk.

1166. We've been trying to find out about the setup.

1167. There is no fucking setup!

1168. Now, here's the news!

1169. Blondie, you stay here, take care of these two.

1170. White and Pink, come with me,

1171. 'cause if Joe sees all these cars outside,

1172. he'll be as mad at me as he is at you!

1173. Fine, let's go.

1174. Alone at last.

1175. Guess what.

1176. I think I'm parked in a red zone.

1177. Now, where were we?

1178. I told you I don't know anything

1179. about any fucking setup.

1180. I've been on the force for only eight months.

1181. They don't tell me anything.

1182. Nobody tells me shit.

1183. You can torture me all you want.

1184. Torture you, that's a good—

1185. That's a good idea.

1186. I like that one. Yeah.

1187. Even your boss said there wasn't a setup.

1188. My what?

1189. Your boss.

1190. Excuse me, pal.

1191. One thing I want to make clear to you.

1192. I don't have a boss.

1193. Nobody tells me what to do.

1194. You understand?

1195. Hearwhat I said, you son of a bitch?

1196. All right, you don't have a boss.

1197. Look at that fucking shit.

1198. Look, kid, I'm not going to bullshit you, O.K.?

1199. I don't really give a good fuck

1200. what you know or don't know.

1201. But I'm going to torture you anyway...

1202. regardless.

1203. Not to get information.

1204. It's amusing to me to torture a cop.

1205. You can say anything you want

1206. 'cause I've heard it all before.

1207. All you can do is pray for a quick death...

1208. which...

1209. you ain't going to get.

1210. Oh, God.

1211. You ever listen to K-Billy's Super Sounds of the Seventies?

1212. It's my personal favorite.

1213. Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty were a duo

1214. known as Stealer's Wheel

1215. when they recorded

1216. this Dylanesque, pop, bubble-gum favorite

1217. from April of1974.

1218. That reached up to number five,

1219. as K-Billy's Super Sounds of the Seventies continues.

1220. Hold still.

1221. Hold still, you fuck!

1222. That as good for you as it was for me?

1223. Hey, what's going on?

1224. You hear that?

1225. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back.

1226. Aah! Aah! Aah! Don't!

1227. Stop! Stop!

1228. Stop... just talk to me.

1229. What? What's the matter?

1230. Don't do this!

1231. Please!

1232. That burn a little bit?

1233. Stop... just talk to me.

1234. Please.

1235. Stop... just talk to me.

1236. Stop... just talk to me.

1237. Please, don't. Please, don't— don't burn me, please!

1238. Ow... aah!

1239. I'm begging you.

1240. I-I don't know anything about any of you fucking guys!

1241. I'm not going to say anything.

1242. Don't! Please don't!

1243. You all through?

1244. You all through?

1245. Please, look, I got a little kid at home.

1246. You all done?

1247. Don't. Don't!

1248. Have some fire, scarecrow.

1249. - Hey. - Ah... shit.

1250. Hey, you.

1251. What's your name?

1252. Marvin.

1253. Marvin what?

1254. Marvin Nash.

1255. Listen to me, Marvin, I'm a c-

1256. Listen to me, Marvin Nash, I'm a cop.

1257. Yeah, I know.

1258. You do?

1259. Yeah, you're name's Freddy something.

1260. Nuendyke,

1261. Freddy Nuendyke.

1262. Frankie Frechetti

1263. introduced us about five months ago.

1264. Shit, I don't remember that at all.

1265. I do.

1266. Fuck.

1267. Freddy.

1268. Freddy.

1269. Uh, Freddy.

1270. How do I look?

1271. What?

1272. What?

1273. I don't know what to tell you, Marvin.

1274. That fuck.

1275. Oh, that sick fuck!

1276. That fucking bastard!

1277. Marvin, I need you to hold on.

1278. There's cops waiting to move in a block away.

1279. What the fuck are they waiting for?

1280. This fucking guy slashes my face,

1281. and he cuts my fucking ear off!

1282. I'm fucking deformed!

1283. Fuck you!

1284. Fuck you! I'm fucking dying here!

1285. I'm fucking dying!

1286. They're not to make a move

1287. till Joe Cabot shows up.

1288. I was sent in to get him.

1289. All right?

1290. Now you heard 'em.

1291. They said he's on his way.

1292. Don't pussy out on me now, Marvin.

1293. We're just going to sit here and bleed

1294. till Joe Cabot sticks his fucking head through that door.

1295. Say hello to a motherfucker who's inside.

1296. Cabot's doing a job and guess who he wants on.

1297. This better not be some Freddy joke, man.

1298. This ain't no joke.

1299. I'm in there, up his ass.

1300. Nice Guy Eddie says Joe wants to meet me.

1301. Says to hang at home and wait for a call.

1302. After waiting three goddamn days,

1303. he calls last night and says Joe's ready.

1304. He'll pick me up in 15 minutes.

1305. Who picked you up?

1306. Nice guy.

1307. Get to a bar—

1308. What bar?

1309. Smokey Pete's in Gardena.

1310. We get there, and I meetjoe

1311. and a guy named Mr. White,

1312. a phony name. I'm Mr. Orange.

1313. Mr. Orange?

1314. Mr. Orange.

1315. O.K., Mr. Orange,

1316. have you ever seen this motherfucker before?

1317. Who?

1318. Mr. White?

1319. Yes, Mr. Orange, Mr. White.

1320. No, he ain't familiar.

1321. He ain't one of Cabot's soldiers either.

1322. He's from out of town.

1323. Joe knows him good.

1324. How can you tell?

1325. The way they talk. They're buddies.

1326. The two of you talk?

1327. Who, me andjoe?

1328. Mr. White.

1329. A little.

1330. About what?

1331. - Brewers. - Milwaukee Brewers.

1332. They won the night before.

1333. He made a killing.

1334. If this crook's a Brewers fan,

1335. his ass must be from Wisconsin.

1336. And I'll bet you that in Milwaukee

1337. they got a sheet on this motherfucker's ass.

1338. So what I want you to do

1339. is to go through all the mugs from Milwaukee

1340. with a history ofarmed robbery.

1341. Put a name to the face.

1342. Nice work.

1343. Thank you, my man.

1344. How was Long Beach Mike's referral?

1345. Perfecto. He's backing me up all the way.

1346. I said it was Long Beach Mike,

1347. but when Nice Guy called to check,

1348. he said it was a-O.K.

1349. He said I was a good thief.

1350. Do right by him. He's a good guy.

1351. I wouldn't be inside without him.

1352. No, no, no, no, no.

1353. Long Beach Mike is not your fucking amigo, man.

1354. Long Beach Mike is a fucking scumbag.

1355. He's selling out his amigos.

1356. That's what kind of a nice guy he fucking is.

1357. I'll take care of his ass,

1358. but you get that scumbag out of mind

1359. and take care of business, you hear?

1360. Gone.

1361. Use the commode story?

1362. What's the commode story?

1363. It's a scene, man.

1364. Memorize it.

1365. What?

1366. An undercover cop's got to be Marlon Brando.

1367. Todo this job, you got to be a great actor.

1368. You got to be naturalistic as hell.

1369. If you ain't a great actor, you're a bad actor,

1370. and bad acting is bullshit.

1371. Yeah. What is this?

1372. That's an amusing anecdote about a drug deal.

1373. - What? - Something funny that happened to you

1374. while you were doing a fucking job, man.

1375. I got to memorize this?

1376. That's over four fucking pages.

1377. Think about it like it's a joke.

1378. Memorize what's important. The rest make your own.

1379. You can tell a joke, right?

1380. No.

1381. Pretend you're Don Rickles or somebody and tell the joke.

1382. Remember the details.

1383. It's the details that sell your story.

1384. This story takes place in a men's room.

1385. You got to know all the details about the men's room—

1386. If they got paper towels

1387. or a blower to dry your hands with,

1388. if the stalls got doors,

1389. if they got liquid soap

1390. or that pink granulated powdered shit

1391. they used to use in high school, remember?

1392. If they got hot water,

1393. if it stinks,

1394. if some nasty, low-life, scum-ridden motherfucker

1395. sprayed diarrhea all over one of the bowls.

1396. You got to know every detail there is about this commode.

1397. You got to take all them details and make them your own

1398. and remember this story's about you

1399. and how you perceived the events that went down.

1400. The only way to do that, my brother—

1401. Keep saying it

1402. and saying it and saying it

1403. and saying it and saying it.

1404. This was during the Los Angeles marijuana drought of 1986.

1405. I still had a connection, which was insane,

1406. 'cause you couldn't get any weed any-fucking-where.

1407. Anyway...

1408. I had a connection with this hippie chick up in Santa Cruz.

1409. All my friends knew it. They'd give me a call and say,

1410. "Hey, Freddy."

1411. "Hey, dude...

1412. "you getting some?

1413. Then get some for me, too."

1414. They knew I still smoked.

1415. They asked me to buy some for them

1416. when I was buying for me,

1417. but it got to be...

1418. got to be— got to be...

1419. every time I bought some weed,

1420. I was buying for five different fucking people.

1421. Finally I said, "Fuck this shit.

1422. I'm making this bitch rich."

1423. She never even had to meet these people.

1424. I was doing all the work.

1425. That got to be a pain.

1426. People called all the time.

1427. I couldn't even rent a tape

1428. without six calls interrupting me.

1429. "When's the next time you're getting some?"

1430. "Motherfucker. I'm trying to watch The Lost Boys.

1431. When I get some, I'll let you know."

1432. Then these rink-a-dink potheads come by—

1433. They're my friends, but still—

1434. I've got my shit in $60 bags.

1435. They want $10 worth.

1436. To break it up is a major pain.

1437. I don't even know what $10 worth looks like.

1438. This is a very weird situation.

1439. I don't know if you remember back in '86

1440. there was a major drought.

1441. Nobody had anything.

1442. People were living on resin—

1443. smoking the wood in their pipes.

1444. This chick had a bunch.

1445. She's begging me to sell it.

1446. I said I wasn't Joe the potman anymore,

1447. but I'd take a little and sell to close, close friends.

1448. She agreed to the same arrangement-

1449. 10% free pot for me— if I helped her out that weekend.

1450. She didn't want to sell her brick of weed alone.

1451. Her brother usually goes, but he's in county unexpectedly.

1452. What for?

1453. Traffic tickets. Got a warrant.

1454. They stopped him for something, found warrants on him,

1455. took him to county.

1456. She doesn't walk around alone with all that weed.

1457. I don't want to do this.

1458. She keeps asking me.

1459. Finally I said O.K. 'Cause I'm sick of hearing it.

1460. Picking the guy up at the train station—

1461. You go to pick up the buyer with the weed on you?

1462. The guy needed it right away.

1463. Anyway, we're at the station waiting for the guy.

1464. I'm carrying the weed in a carry-on bag.

1465. I got to take a piss.

1466. I tell the connection I'm going to the boys' room.

1467. So I walk in the men's room, and who's standing there?

1468. Four Los Angeles County Sheriffs and a German Shepherd.

1469. They're waiting for you?

1470. No, they're just hanging out, talking.

1471. When I walked in,

1472. they all stopped talking and looked at me.

1473. Ha ha ha.

1474. That's hard, man.

1475. That's a fucking hard situation.

1476. German Shepherd starts barking.

1477. He's barking at me.

1478. I mean, it's obvious. He's barking at me.

1479. Every nerve-ending, all my senses,

1480. blood in my veins,

1481. everything I have is screaming, "Take off, man!

1482. Get the fuck out of there!"

1483. Panic hits me like a bucket ofwater.

1484. First the shock- Bam! Right in the face.

1485. I'm standing drenched in panic.

1486. All these sheriffs looking at me,

1487. and they know. They can smell it.

1488. Sure as that dog can, they can smell it.

1489. Shut up!

1490. So anyway, I've got my gun drawn, right?

1491. It's pointed right at this guy.

1492. I tell him, "Don't fucking move,"

1493. and this little idiot's looking right at me,

1494. nodding his head yeah,

1495. saying, "I know. I know. I know."

1496. But meanwhile his right hand's creeping towards the glove box.

1497. I scream at him,

1498. "Asshole! I'm going to blow you away right now!

1499. Put your hands on the dash!"

1500. And he's still looking at me,

1501. nodding his head, "I know, buddy. I know."

1502. And meanwhile his hand's still going for the glove box,

1503. and I said, "Buddy, I'm going to shoot you in the face

1504. if you don't put your hands on the fucking dash!"

1505. And this guy's girlfriend—

1506. This real sexy oriental bitch, you know?

1507. She starts screaming at him,

1508. "What are you doing?

1509. Put your hands on the dash!"

1510. So the guy snaps out of it

1511. and casually puts his hands on the dash.

1512. What was he going for?

1513. His fucking registration.

1514. Ha ha! You're kidding!

1515. No. Stupid fucking citizen

1516. doesn't know how close he came to getting blown away.

1517. That close, man.

1518. A neighborhood bonehead screaming police brutality—

1519. You knew how to handle that situation.

1520. Just shit your pants and dive in and swim.

1521. Tell me more about Cabot.

1522. Well, I don't know.

1523. He's- He's a cool guy.

1524. Huh?

1525. He's funny.

1526. He's a funny guy.

1527. You remember The Fantastic Four?

1528. Oh, yeah, with that, uh, invisible bitch

1529. and, uh, flame-on and shit, right?

1530. Thing...

1531. motherfucker looks just like the Thing.

1532. Yeah.

1533. Hey.

1534. Showtime.

1535. Grab your jacket.

1536. I'm parked outside.

1537. Be right down.

1538. He'll be right down.

1539. Don't pussy out on me now.

1540. They don't know.

1541. They don't know shit.

1542. You're not going to get hurt.

1543. You're fucking Baretta.

1544. They believe every fucking word

1545. 'cause you're supercool.

1546. The guy has to have rocks in his head

1547. the size of Gibraltar to work undercover.

1548. You want one of these?

1549. Yeah. Give me the bear claw.

1550. I know what I'm talking about.

1551. Black women ain't the same as white women.

1552. There's a slight difference.

1553. You know what I mean.

1554. What a white bitch will put up with

1555. a black bitch wouldn't put up with for a minute.

1556. If you cross their line, they fuck you up.

1557. I agree with Pink.

1558. If this is such a truism,

1559. how come every nigger I know

1560. treats his woman like a piece of shit?

1561. They show their ass in public,

1562. but when their bitches get them home,

1563. they chill the fuck out.

1564. Not these guys.

1565. Yeah, those guys, too.

1566. Tell you guys a story—

1567. One of Daddy's clubs—

1568. There was a black cocktail waitress named E. Lois.

1569. E. Lois?

1570. E. Lois. E...

1571. and Lois.

1572. They called her Lady E.

1573. Where was she from, Compton?

1574. Ha ha ha ha ha!

1575. She was from Ladera Heights.

1576. That's the black Beverly Hills.

1577. It's not the black Beverly Hills.

1578. It's the black Palos Verdes.

1579. Anyway...

1580. Lady E—

1581. Lady E, she was a man-eater-upper.

1582. Un-fucking-believeable.

1583. Every guy that ever laid his eyes on her

1584. had to jack off to her at least once.

1585. She looked like Christie Love.

1586. Remember that TV show about the black female cop?

1587. She always used to say,

1588. - "You're under arrest, sugar." - "You're under arrest, sugar."

1589. Who was the chick who played Christie Love?

1590. Pam Grier.

1591. No, Pam Grier was the other one.

1592. Pam Grier did the film.

1593. Christie Love was a Pam Grier TV show without Pam Grier.

1594. So who was Christie Love?

1595. How should I know?

1596. Great, now I'm totally fucking tortured.

1597. Whoever it was, she looked exactly like E. Lois.

1598. Anne Francis.

1599. No, that was Honey West.

1600. Anne Francis is white.

1601. I'm trying to tell a story.

1602. She looked exactly like E. Lois.

1603. Anyway, I come into the club one night.

1604. There's Carlos.

1605. He's a wetback. He's a friend of mine.

1606. I says to him,

1607. "Carlos, where's Lady E tonight?"

1608. Apparently Lady E was married to a real piece of dog shit,

1609. a real fucking animal.

1610. He used to do things to her.

1611. Do things— Do things. Like what?

1612. What would he do, beat her up?

1613. I don't know what. He just did things.

1614. So, anyway,

1615. one night she plays it real cool.

1616. She waits for this bag of shit to get drunk.

1617. He falls asleep on the couch.

1618. She sneaks up on him.

1619. She puts wacko glue on his dick

1620. and glues it to his belly.

1621. - No. - Jesus Christ.

1622. I'm serious, man.

1623. I'm serious. I'm dead serious.

1624. They had to call the paramedics

1625. to cut the prick loose, literally.

1626. Was he pissed off?

1627. How would you feel if every time you had to take a piss

1628. you had to do a fucking handstand?

1629. You guys like to tell jokes and kid around, huh?

1630. Giggling like a bunch of broads in the school yard.

1631. Well, let me tell a joke.

1632. Five guys sitting in a bull pen,

1633. San Quentin,

1634. wondering how the fuck they got there.

1635. "What did we do wrong?

1636. "What didn't we do?

1637. It's your fault, my fault, his fault."

1638. All that bullshit.

1639. Finally someone's got an idea—

1640. "Wait a minute.

1641. "While we were planning this caper,

1642. all we did was sit around and tell jokes."

1643. Got the message?

1644. Fellas, I don't mean to holler at you.

1645. When this caper's over,

1646. and I'm sure it's going to be successful,

1647. we'll go to Hawaii.

1648. I'll roar and laugh with all of you.

1649. You'll find me different.

1650. Right now it's a matter of business.

1651. With the exception of Eddie and myself,

1652. whom you already know,

1653. we're going to be using aliases on this job.

1654. Under no circumstances

1655. do I want any one of you

1656. to relate to each other by your Christian names,

1657. and I don't want any talk about yourself personally.

1658. That includes where you been,

1659. your wife's name,

1660. where you might've done time,

1661. or a bank maybe you robbed in St. Petersburg.

1662. All I want you guys to talk about

1663. if you have to, is what you're going to do.

1664. That should do it.

1665. Here are your names...

1666. Mr. Brown,

1667. Mr. White,

1668. Mr. Blonde,

1669. Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange,

1670. and Mr. Pink.

1671. Why am I Mr. Pink?

1672. Because you're a faggot, all right?

1673. - Why can't we pick our own colors? - No way.

1674. Tried it once. It doesn't work.

1675. You get four guys fighting over

1676. who's going to be Mr. Black.

1677. They don't know each other. Nobody wants to back down.

1678. Noway. I pick. You're Mr. Pink.

1679. Be thankful you're not Mr. Yellow.

1680. Mr. Brown, that's a little too close to Mr. Shit.

1681. Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy.

1682. How about if I'm Mr. Purple?

1683. I'll be Mr. Purple.

1684. You're not Mr. Purple.

1685. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple.

1686. You're Mr. Pink.

1687. Who cares what your name is?

1688. That's easy for you to say.

1689. You're Mr. White. That's a cool name.

1690. If it's no big deal, you want to trade?

1691. Hey, nobody's trading with anybody.

1692. This ain't a goddamn fucking city council meeting, you know.

1693. Now listen up, Mr. Pink.

1694. There's two ways you can go on this job—

1695. my way or the highway.

1696. What's it going to be, Mr. Pink?

1697. Jesus Christ. Fucking forget about it.

1698. It's beneath me. I'm Mr. Pink. Let's move on.

1699. I'll move on when I feel like it.

1700. All you guys got the goddamn message?

1701. I'm so goddamn mad hollering at you guys,

1702. I can hardly talk.

1703. Let's go to work.

1704. Let's go over it. Where are you?

1705. I stand outside.

1706. I let nobody in or out.

1707. Mr. Brown?

1708. Mr. Brown waits in the car.

1709. When I give the signal, he pulls up to the store.

1710. Mr. Blonde and Mr. Blue?

1711. Crowd control— they handle the customers and the employees.

1712. That girl's ass?

1713. It's sitting right here on my dick.

1714. Myselfand Mr. Pink?

1715. You two take the manager in the back

1716. and make him give you the diamonds.

1717. We're there for those stones, period.

1718. Since no display cases are being fucked with, no alarms should go off.

1719. We're out of there in two minutes,

1720. not one second longer.

1721. What happens if the manager won't give you the diamonds?

1722. A store like this is insured up the ass.

1723. They're not supposed to give any resistance.

1724. If you get a customer or an employee

1725. who thinks he's Charles Branson,

1726. take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in.

1727. It drops him right to the floor screaming.

1728. Blood squirts out of his nose.

1729. Nobody says shit after that.

1730. You might get some bitch talk shit to you.

1731. Give her a look like you're going to smash her face next,

1732. watch her shut the fuck up.

1733. Managers know better than to fuck around.

1734. If you get one that's giving you static,

1735. he probably thinks he's a cowboy,

1736. so break him in two.

1737. If there's something he won't tell you,

1738. cut off one of his fingers— the little one.

1739. Tell him his thumb's next.

1740. After that, he'll tell you if he wears ladies' underwear.

1741. I'm hungry. Let's get a taco.

1742. Come on!

1743. Fuck!

1744. Jesus.

1745. I'm blind, man.

1746. I'm fucking blind.

1747. You just got blood in your eyes, all right?

1748. Aah!

1749. Is he dead?

1750. Did he die or not?

1751. Let's go.

1752. Hold it!

1753. Hold it! Right there!

1754. Get out of the fucking car!

1755. Aah!

1756. Aah!

1757. I'm sorry, Larry.

1758. I-I can't believe she killed me!

1759. Who the fuck would have thought that?

1760. Hey! Just cancel that shit right now!

1761. You're hurt!

1762. You're hurt real fucking bad,

1763. but you ain't dying!

1764. Oh... all this blood scares the shit out of me, Larry!

1765. I'm going to die! I know it!

1766. Aah!

1767. Ah.

1768. What the fuck happened?

1769. He slashed the cop's face.

1770. He was going to burn him alive.

1771. What? I didn't hear you.

1772. I said...

1773. Blonde went crazy.

1774. He slashed the cop's face,

1775. cut off his ear,

1776. was going to burn him alive.

1777. This cop?

1778. He went crazy? Something like that?

1779. Worse or better?

1780. Eddie, he was pulling a burn, man.

1781. He was going to kill the cop and me.

1782. When you guys walked in,

1783. he was going to blow you to hell

1784. and make off with the diamonds.

1785. That sick piece of shit

1786. was a stone-cold psycho.

1787. You could've asked the cop

1788. if you didn't just kill him.

1789. He talked about what he was going to do

1790. when he was slicing him up.

1791. I don't buy it. It doesn't make sense.

1792. Makes perfect fucking sense to me.

1793. You weren't there during the job

1794. you didn't see how he acted. We did.

1795. He's right about the ear. It's hacked off.

1796. Let me just say this out loud,

1797. 'cause I want to get this straight in my head.

1798. You're saying that Mr. Blonde was going to kill you,

1799. then when we got back, he was going to kill us,

1800. take the satchel of diamonds, and scram.

1801. I'm right about that? That's your story?

1802. I swear on my mother's eternal soul

1803. that's what happened.

1804. The man you just killed

1805. just got released from prison.

1806. He got caught at a company warehouse full of hot items.

1807. He could have fucking walked.

1808. All he had to do was say my dad's name,

1809. but he kept his fucking mouth shut.

1810. And he did his fucking time, like a man.

1811. He did four years for us.

1812. So, Mr. Orange,

1813. you're telling me this very good friend of mine,

1814. who did four years for my father,

1815. who, in four years, never made a deal,

1816. no matter what they dangled in front of him,

1817. you're telling me now that this man is free

1818. and we're making good on our commitment to him,

1819. he's just going to decide,

1820. out of the fucking blue,

1821. to rip us off?

1822. Why don't you tell me what really happened?

1823. What the hell for?

1824. It'djust be more bullshit.

1825. This man set us up.

1826. Dad, I'm sorry, but I don't know what the hell's happening.

1827. It's all right, Eddie. I do.

1828. What the fuck are you talking about?

1829. That lump ofshit's working with the L.A.P.D.

1830. Joe, I don't have the slightest fucking idea

1831. what you're talking about.

1832. I don't know what you think you know,

1833. but you're wrong.

1834. Like hell I am.

1835. Trust me on this. You've made a mistake.

1836. He's a good kid.

1837. I understand. You're hot. You're superfucking pissed.

1838. We're all real emotional.

1839. But you're barking up the wrong tree.

1840. I know this man. He wouldn't do that.

1841. You don't know jack shit!

1842. I do!

1843. The cocksucker tipped off the cops

1844. and had Mr. Brown and Mr. Blue killed.

1845. Mr. Blue is dead?

1846. Dead as Dillinger.

1847. How do you know all this?

1848. He's the only one I wasn't 100% on.

1849. I should have my fucking head examined,

1850. going ahead when I wasn't 100%.

1851. That's your proof?

1852. You don't need proof when you have instinct.

1853. I ignored it before, but no more.

1854. Have you lost your fucking mind?

1855. Joe,

1856. you're making a terrible mistake.

1857. I won't let you make it.

1858. Come on, guys.

1859. Nobody wants this.

1860. We're supposed to be fucking professionals.

1861. All right, look,

1862. it's been quite a long time,

1863. a lot of jobs.

1864. There's no need for this, man.

1865. Let's just put our guns down,

1866. and let's settle this

1867. with a fucking conversation.

1868. Joe, if you kill that man, you die next.

1869. I repeat— if you kill that man, you die next.

1870. Larry, we have been friends,

1871. and you respect my dad

1872. and I respect you,

1873. but I will put fucking bullets through your heart.

1874. Put that gun down.

1875. Goddamn you, Joe.

1876. Don't make me do this.

1877. Larry, stop pointing that fucking gun at my dad!

1878. I'm sorry, kid.

1879. Looks like we're going to—

1880. Do— Do a little time.

1881. I'm a cop.

1882. Larry...

1883. I'm sorry.

1884. I'm so—

1885. I'm sorry.

1886. I'm a cop.

1887. Oh!

1888. Oh!

1889. Oh.

1890. Sorry.

1891. I'm sorry.

1892. I'm sorry.

1893. Larry!

1894. Freeze!

1895. Drop the fucking gun, buddy!

1896. Put the gun down!

1897. - Don't do it! - Drop the gun, man!

1898. Drop the gun!

1899. Drop the fucking gun!

1900. We're going to fucking blow you away!