1. Caitlyn,
this is a process, okay?Copy !req
2. But it's important
for you to rememberCopy !req
3. that the only person
who can save us is ourselves.Copy !req
4. He's a monster.Copy !req
5. A goddamn fucking monster.Copy !req
6. That's what he is.Copy !req
7. But I can't seem
to get away from him.Copy !req
8. Do you remember what drew you
to Mitch in the first place?Copy !req
9. We met at work, and...Copy !req
10. he was charming and mysterious.Copy !req
11. He wined and dined me
and took me traveling,Copy !req
12. and...Copy !req
13. he told me it was me and him
against the world.Copy !req
14. He made me feel important.Copy !req
15. Hello.Copy !req
16. My name is
Robert Montague Renfield.Copy !req
17. And just like
all these decent folks,Copy !req
18. I am in
a destructive relationship.Copy !req
19. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That was a lot.Copy !req
20. Maybe we should just back up
to the beginning.Copy !req
21. Mr. Renfield, I bid you welcome.Copy !req
22. I am...Copy !req
23. Dracula.Copy !req
24. When I met him,
I was a real estate lawyerCopy !req
25. hoping to make a deal
that would change my lifeCopy !req
26. and my family's lives forever.Copy !req
27. Oh, and it most certainly did.Copy !req
28. You will make a very good
assistant, Mr. Renfield.Copy !req
29. I understand how Caitlyn feels.Copy !req
30. I never drink wine.Copy !req
31. He also wined and dined me.Copy !req
32. He made me feel important.Copy !req
33. He introduced me
into high society.Copy !req
34. We went to the theater.Copy !req
35. We traveled to exotic places.Copy !req
36. And then he made me
his familiar.Copy !req
37. Which means that I take care
of Master's every need.Copy !req
38. Including staff changesCopy !req
39. and arranging his special
dietary requirements.Copy !req
40. Look, I didn't just jump into
serving the Prince of Darkness.Copy !req
41. We had some great times.Copy !req
42. But just like all great times...Copy !req
43. - Servant.
- They come to an end.Copy !req
44. The hunters have returned.Copy !req
45. Ah, yes.Copy !req
46. The bugs. This comes up a lot.Copy !req
47. Dracula's powers come from
consuming human life.Copy !req
48. Mine come from eating bugs.Copy !req
49. Make sense? Great.
Now, where were we?Copy !req
50. I'm coming, Master!Copy !req
51. Shit. Fuck. Shit.Copy !req
52. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck.Copy !req
53. Sh-Sh-Sh-Shit.Copy !req
54. This is a protection circle,
Renfield.Copy !req
55. Mm.Copy !req
56. He cannot escape.Copy !req
57. Let us rid this world
of his evil,Copy !req
58. and you can finally be free!Copy !req
59. Free?Copy !req
60. The moment I'm gone,Copy !req
61. they will lock you away
for what you've done for me.Copy !req
62. I am your only salvation.Copy !req
63. I am your only friend.Copy !req
64. I am the only oneCopy !req
65. who cares for you.Copy !req
66. I actually remember thinking,Copy !req
67. "He really, really means it
this time."Copy !req
68. Renfield!Copy !req
69. We are the last of our kind.Copy !req
70. From now on, every drop of blood
Dracula spillsCopy !req
71. will be on your hands.Copy !req
72. Fuck. I was not expecting that.Copy !req
73. Or that.Copy !req
74. Master, you okay?Copy !req
75. No.Copy !req
76. Yeah.Copy !req
77. This is a fairly typical result.Copy !req
78. At the peak of his powers,
Dracula goes onCopy !req
79. a full-tilt
blood-sucking bender,Copy !req
80. the good guys show up
and do their thing,Copy !req
81. and then it's up to me
to clean up the mess.Copy !req
82. It's what
I call our transitional period.Copy !req
83. So I take him to a new city,
nurse him back to full power,Copy !req
84. find a decent place
to ride it outCopy !req
85. until the whole cycle starts
all over again.Copy !req
86. Uh, excuse me. H-Hi.Copy !req
87. May I borrow a pen, please?Copy !req
88. Thank... you.Copy !req
89. Which brings us back here.Copy !req
90. In the meantime, I come here
and listen to these poor soulsCopy !req
91. talk about their monsters.Copy !req
92. You were just talking
about Mitch, what...Copy !req
93. I know this is, like,
way down the list of bad stuff,Copy !req
94. but he's also really into ska.Copy !req
95. - The kind of music?
- Yes.Copy !req
96. Fishbone, Mustard Plug,
Voodoo Glow Skulls.Copy !req
97. I fucking hate that shit!Copy !req
98. I'm so sorry, Caitlyn. I'm so...Copy !req
99. - Mark, I am... I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.Copy !req
100. Is that the one
that's 99% horns?Copy !req
101. Yeah, see,
that's what I was thinking.Copy !req
102. No.
That's a huge oversimplificationCopy !req
103. of ska's innovative contribution
to music.Copy !req
104. Oh, my God, who am I?Copy !req
105. - Renfield?
- Hmm?Copy !req
106. Sorry, no, I swallowed a bug.Copy !req
107. Unintentionally.Copy !req
108. What-what other way
is there to...Copy !req
109. Would you like
to share your story?Copy !req
110. No. Thank-thank you.
I don't think you'd understand.Copy !req
111. I know it's scary.Copy !req
112. And you think things
are never gonna change,Copy !req
113. but I promise you,
one day you're gonna realizeCopy !req
114. that you can have
the life that you want.Copy !req
115. But in the meantime, I just hopeCopy !req
116. that you get something
out of coming here.Copy !req
117. I am.Copy !req
118. That's great.Copy !req
119. Oh, yes, I'm getting somethingCopy !req
120. Victims.Copy !req
121. But not these victims.Copy !req
122. Let's do our affirmations.Copy !req
123. I am enough, and I have enough.Copy !req
124. I deserve happiness.Copy !req
125. I am grateful for all that I am,Copy !req
126. and I take full charge
of my life today.Copy !req
127. They can repeat theseCopy !req
128. affirmations all they want.Copy !req
129. It'll never make
their problems go away.Copy !req
130. But I can.Copy !req
131. Now, no one's ever gonna
call me a hero,Copy !req
132. but I've come up with
a mutually beneficial solutionCopy !req
133. for people like Caitlyn:Copy !req
134. get rid of their monsters
by giving mine what he needs.Copy !req
135. Hey, Doug. What are you doing
over there, buddy?Copy !req
136. There's somebody
out there, Mitch.Copy !req
137. Oh, my God, there's no one
out there, Doug!Copy !req
138. Bro, do you think
the Lobo family is gonnaCopy !req
139. let us get away with this?Copy !req
140. We stole
their fucking drugs, man.Copy !req
141. I don't want to hear it, Doug!Copy !req
142. Goddamn it.Copy !req
143. - What the fuck?
- Oh, fuck.Copy !req
144. That was the best part.Copy !req
145. What the fuck, man?Copy !req
146. This is exactly why
you never set your picnic upCopy !req
147. next to a pile of dog...Copy !req
148. Shit! Okay.Copy !req
149. Hello, Mitch.Copy !req
150. Uh, look.Copy !req
151. Wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
152. Okay, hold on. I'm-I'm sorry.Copy !req
153. Okay? I'm sorry.Copy !req
154. It's too late for sorrys.Copy !req
155. You took something
you can never give back.Copy !req
156. Well, we can give it back.
That's not a problem.Copy !req
157. We'll just give it all
back to you. There it is.Copy !req
158. Go ahead.Copy !req
159. - Have it. No problem.
- Uh...Copy !req
160. - what is this?
- It's the, um...Copy !req
161. th-the drugs we stole
from your boss, sir.Copy !req
162. I'm sorry.Copy !req
163. Uh, who do you think I am?Copy !req
164. A-A hit man sent to kill us.Copy !req
165. I am something much,Copy !req
166. much worse.Copy !req
167. I'm a friend of Caitlyn.Copy !req
168. Oh, my God.Copy !req
169. Get the fuck out of here.
No, no!Copy !req
170. Wait. What did you say about
a hit man sent to kill you?Copy !req
171. Oh.Copy !req
172. Who are you?Copy !req
173. A friend of Caitlyn's.Copy !req
174. Uh, more of an acquaintance.Copy !req
175. You were smaller
from back there.Copy !req
176. Funny.Copy !req
177. Oh!Copy !req
178. Looks like you're out of knives.Copy !req
179. I was wrong.Copy !req
180. Ah.Copy !req
181. Yeah, of course
the hit is going well.Copy !req
182. I got Apache Joe on it.Copy !req
183. The man cuts out
people's tonguesCopy !req
184. with a hunting knife.Copy !req
185. You tell him his name is racist.Copy !req
186. Come on!Copy !req
187. Oh, shit.Copy !req
188. Oh, shit.Copy !req
189. Shit.Copy !req
190. What the fuck?Copy !req
191. What the fuck?Copy !req
192. You, uh, been drinking
tonight, sir?Copy !req
193. No.Copy !req
194. Why? You interested?Copy !req
195. All right,
get the hell out of here.Copy !req
196. Everything okay over here,
partner?Copy !req
197. Yes.Copy !req
198. Just frustrating
being on this shit detailCopy !req
199. when there's real crimes
happening out there.Copy !req
200. Drunk driving isn't real crime?Copy !req
201. You know what I mean, Chris.Copy !req
202. We got a stack of missing person
reports to follow up on.Copy !req
203. Come on!Copy !req
204. - Holy shit, it's Teddy Lobo.
- What the fuck? Come on!Copy !req
205. - Are you sure?
- You know who I am?Copy !req
206. I'm Teddy fucking Lobo!Copy !req
207. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.Copy !req
208. Don't do anything crazy,
Rebecca.Copy !req
209. I'm just doing my job.Copy !req
210. You do your job
in a very crazy way,Copy !req
211. especially when it comes
to the Lobos.Copy !req
212. Fuck.Copy !req
213. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
214. Fuck it!Copy !req
215. Look out, Chris!Copy !req
216. Fuck a dick! Shit!Copy !req
217. Don't move! Hands on the wheel!Copy !req
218. I got a prescription
for this shit!Copy !req
219. Shit.Copy !req
220. What did I fucking do?Copy !req
221. - Is he throwing drugs at us?
- Yes!Copy !req
222. I didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
223. Fuck. Cocaine!Copy !req
224. You can't fucking catch...Copy !req
225. Are you fucking serious?Copy !req
226. You're under arrest, bitch.Copy !req
227. Fuck.Copy !req
228. After decades of beingCopy !req
229. chased away
from every corner of the globe,Copy !req
230. our options and bank account
have become a little limited.Copy !req
231. It's not exactly a castle,Copy !req
232. but it is exactly
the kind of placeCopy !req
233. no one tends to notice
a convalescing monster.Copy !req
234. Master?Copy !req
235. Master.Copy !req
236. Oh, dear Jesus.Copy !req
237. Master.Copy !req
238. There you are.Copy !req
239. You're looking...Copy !req
240. much better?Copy !req
241. Fetch me the hand.Copy !req
242. Yes. Right away.Copy !req
243. There you go.
A little amuse-bouche.Copy !req
244. Palate cleanser.Copy !req
245. Ugh.Copy !req
246. Is that good?Copy !req
247. What is this?Copy !req
248. Uh, that...Copy !req
249. Uh, that is, uh...
that's Doug, I believe.Copy !req
250. Doug is trash!Copy !req
251. You're feeding me trash!Copy !req
252. I'm sorry, Master.Copy !req
253. This one doesn't even
have a head.Copy !req
254. Oh, no, he did have a head.Copy !req
255. You know, I don't ask
for much, Renfield.Copy !req
256. Just the blood
of a few dozen innocent people.Copy !req
257. I know. I'm sorry, Master.Copy !req
258. Let's-let's get you sat down,
and then...Copy !req
259. I want happy couples,
unsuspecting tourists,Copy !req
260. a handful of nuns, a-a...
a busload of cheerleaders.Copy !req
261. A busload of cheerleaders?Copy !req
262. A busload of cheerleadersCopy !req
263. will get me back to full power
like that.Copy !req
264. Do you mean female cheerleaders?Copy !req
265. Don't make it a sexual thing.Copy !req
266. No, no. I did not say it was.Copy !req
267. You know it's not the gender
I'm concerned with.Copy !req
268. You know, I-I'll eat boys,
I'll eat girls.Copy !req
269. It's the purity.Copy !req
270. It alone will bring me
back to...Copy !req
271. Full power.Copy !req
272. I get it, Master.Copy !req
273. You deserve better.Copy !req
274. But the modern world
is a dangerous place.Copy !req
275. Maybe if we were just
a little bit more careful,Copy !req
276. we could, you know,
stop running.Copy !req
277. You know, settle down,
and I could have...Copy !req
278. We could have a life again.Copy !req
279. It must be difficultCopy !req
280. to be caught between
their rules and mine.Copy !req
281. Their rules offer
a confusing tangle of morality,Copy !req
282. whereas mine are very simple.Copy !req
283. You can kill and eatCopy !req
284. whatever you want and never die.Copy !req
285. And it truly is a gift.Copy !req
286. And yet, you seem to think
it makes youCopy !req
287. some sort of a monster.Copy !req
288. Do you have any idea
how inconsiderate that is?Copy !req
289. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
290. My needs are the only thing
that matters, servant.Copy !req
291. And what exactly are my needs?Copy !req
292. Um, your needs, your needs
were the, uh...Copy !req
293. uh, happy couples,
u-unsuspecting tourists, uh...Copy !req
294. nuns, nuns
and a-a busload of cheerleaders.Copy !req
295. Indeed.Copy !req
296. I suppose this is what
you'd call my health-care plan.Copy !req
297. His blood has the power
to heal the injured.Copy !req
298. And there's not even a copay.Copy !req
299. Unless you consider my soul.Copy !req
300. You will get me
exactly what I want.Copy !req
301. I cannot go to jail.Copy !req
302. I'll tell you anything
you want to know.Copy !req
303. What do you want to know?Copy !req
304. Murders! Murders.Copy !req
305. We fucking murdered so many
fucking people in cold blood.Copy !req
306. Like last night, for example,
we murdered these peopleCopy !req
307. for trying to steal our drugs.Copy !req
308. That's a twofer, my man.
That is a fucking twofer.Copy !req
309. Nobody's been in the room yet,
and he's already confessing.Copy !req
310. You see that?Copy !req
311. I'm gonna take down
the entire fucking Lobo empireCopy !req
312. off of one traffic stop.Copy !req
313. Put her there, partner.Copy !req
314. - Let's go.
- What?Copy !req
315. - Let's go.
- I'm out?Copy !req
316. - No. No!
- Let's go.Copy !req
317. - I didn't say a fucking thing,
by the way. -What the f...Copy !req
318. - I'm out, baby!
- What the fuck is this?Copy !req
319. Excuse me, everybody.
Guess what.Copy !req
320. Fuck you!Copy !req
321. Fuck you and you.Copy !req
322. Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What is this?Copy !req
323. He was about to give up
everything.Copy !req
324. He was ready to say anythingCopy !req
325. because of the trauma
you put him through.Copy !req
326. He was already traumatized
when I found him.Copy !req
327. For crying out loud, Quincy.Copy !req
328. Your job is
to bust drunk drivers,Copy !req
329. not single-handedly
bring down the mob.Copy !req
330. He was running
from something, sir.Copy !req
331. And then he crashed
into a DUI checkpoint,Copy !req
332. committed ten felonies,Copy !req
333. and not to mention eff-you-ing
a room full of cops.Copy !req
334. - You eff-you me all the time.
- Fuck you, Kyle!Copy !req
335. Look, Quincy.Copy !req
336. Your father was
one of the most honestCopy !req
337. and incorruptible cops I knew.Copy !req
338. And you're a lot like him.Copy !req
339. And before he passed,
I promised your father thatCopy !req
340. I would do my best
to take care of you.Copy !req
341. But sometimes, you got to know
when to play ball.Copy !req
342. This ain't your stepping stone.Copy !req
343. It's your rock bottom.Copy !req
344. What the fuck are you guys
looking at, huh?Copy !req
345. Shit.Copy !req
346. What'd you do this time?Copy !req
347. What I do every time.Copy !req
348. Catch Teddy Lobo
committing a crime, and then:Copy !req
349. What? Oh, surprise,
he got away with it again.Copy !req
350. And what about your-your little
FBI, uh, task force up there?Copy !req
351. You guys been back
for four months.Copy !req
352. What have you done
about the Lobos?Copy !req
353. Oh, oh, oh, a-a wiretap?Copy !req
354. Subpoena?
A fucking parking ticket?Copy !req
355. A hard stare across a diner?Copy !req
356. I am just as mad about
what they did to Dad as you are.Copy !req
357. I want revenge
just as bad as you do.Copy !req
358. But every day, I force myself
to swallow that angerCopy !req
359. so I don't fuck up
my investigation.Copy !req
360. And if you cannot learn
to let that go...Copy !req
361. you're never gonna get
the justice that you want.Copy !req
362. You're not the only one
who lost a dad here.Copy !req
363. Here you go.
Take care of yourself.Copy !req
364. - You earned it. Shower yourself
in it. - Thanks.Copy !req
365. - Teddy.
- Ooh! Okay.Copy !req
366. Your mother wants to see you.Copy !req
367. All right.Copy !req
368. Downstairs.Copy !req
369. Long, even strokes.Copy !req
370. Hey, Mom.Copy !req
371. Teddy.Copy !req
372. You said you want...
You said you wanted to see me?Copy !req
373. Take a seat, please.Copy !req
374. Do you even know why we becameCopy !req
375. the most powerful crime family
in this city?Copy !req
376. We're not the biggest.
We're not the richest.Copy !req
377. However, we are the most feared.Copy !req
378. Our reputation for
ruthlessness and violenceCopy !req
379. is something I have worked
very hard to cultivate.Copy !req
380. But lately,
our enemies don't seem to beCopy !req
381. as afraid as they used to be.Copy !req
382. They're fucking scared, Mom.Copy !req
383. Not the two-bit punks
stealing our drugs.Copy !req
384. Not the five families.Copy !req
385. And not
that fucking traffic cop.Copy !req
386. This family is an empire, Teddy.Copy !req
387. I built an empire.Copy !req
388. And I need to know
its future is secure.Copy !req
389. I need to know
whose hands it belongs in.Copy !req
390. And I need to know those hands
can get a little dirty.Copy !req
391. I know Teddy's up to something.Copy !req
392. I'm gonna find the evidence
to make it stick.Copy !req
393. Got a lot of orange paint.Copy !req
394. What is that?
Some kind of warning?Copy !req
395. I think it's lyrics
to a ska song.Copy !req
396. Ska's not dead.Copy !req
397. Fuck.Copy !req
398. Oh, you've got to be kidding me.Copy !req
399. Yeah! All right!Copy !req
400. You think
you'll get answers here?Copy !req
401. I think we'll get dinner.Copy !req
402. Maybe answers for dessert.Copy !req
403. There she is.Copy !req
404. You sure you want
to do this, Teddy?Copy !req
405. Yes, I am sure
I want to do this.Copy !req
406. That cop needs to be reminded
who runs this town.Copy !req
407. Oh, shit.Copy !req
408. Fuck.Copy !req
409. Oh, this is not a good look.Copy !req
410. Not a good look at all.
Abort. Abort.Copy !req
411. Can you order me a number three?Copy !req
412. The toilet just ordered
a number two.Copy !req
413. Sorry.Copy !req
414. Who the fuck are these guys?Copy !req
415. Move, and I'll blow
your fucking head off.Copy !req
416. Take that, tourist!Copy !req
417. Get down!Copy !req
418. Hey, do me a favor.Copy !req
419. Just remain calm,Copy !req
420. and almost nobody will get hurt.Copy !req
421. Thank you, Teddy.Copy !req
422. I came here to connect you
to a crime scene,Copy !req
423. and you go and turn it into one.Copy !req
424. What you trying to do?Copy !req
425. Holy shit, were you trying
to imitate your dad?Copy !req
426. What do you think,
your dad died some brave hero?Copy !req
427. We beat the shit
out of your father.Copy !req
428. And while he was lying there
on the floor,Copy !req
429. he begged for his life.Copy !req
430. Your dad was a coward.Copy !req
431. But you know what? I want to
save you that embarrassment.Copy !req
432. I'm gonna give you
the chance to live.Copy !req
433. All you have to do
is admit to everybody hereCopy !req
434. that we own you, too.Copy !req
435. So, what's it gonna be?Copy !req
436. Shoot me.Copy !req
437. What?Copy !req
438. You heard me, asshole.Copy !req
439. Shoot me.Copy !req
440. Shoot me like you shot my dad.Copy !req
441. Or was that not you?Copy !req
442. Were you waiting in the carCopy !req
443. while one of your boys
did it for you?Copy !req
444. I'm more than happy
to do it, Teddy.Copy !req
445. Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
446. Have you ever shot
someone before?Copy !req
447. I've shot
a million fucking people.Copy !req
448. Then add me to the list.Copy !req
449. Come on, tough guy. Shoot me.Copy !req
450. If you think
this is a fucking game,Copy !req
451. I will shoot you
in your fucking face.Copy !req
452. Yeah? Dare you.Copy !req
453. You want to be
a fucking hero right now?Copy !req
454. Okay, fine.Copy !req
455. Here we go.Copy !req
456. Congratulations.Copy !req
457. You're better than your father.Copy !req
458. Fuck! Shit!Copy !req
459. Oh.Copy !req
460. Are you okay?Copy !req
461. Yeah. Yeah. Oh...Copy !req
462. That was amazing.
You were amazing.Copy !req
463. What you did.Copy !req
464. You stood up to him.Copy !req
465. How did you do that?Copy !req
466. What kind of life would I leadCopy !req
467. under the thumb
of one of those assholes?Copy !req
468. A very... a very sad one.Copy !req
469. Yeah.Copy !req
470. Did I watch you
cut a guy's arms offCopy !req
471. with a decorative
serving platter?Copy !req
472. Oh, uh, y-yeah.Copy !req
473. That was adrenaline.Copy !req
474. Uh, it was awesome.Copy !req
475. Um, I-I'm-I'm Rebecca Quincy.Copy !req
476. Officer... Officer Quincy.Copy !req
477. Robert Montague Renfield.Copy !req
478. Oh, uh, Montague. Cool.Copy !req
479. Are you from around here or...Copy !req
480. Oh, no. I'm...Copy !req
481. Uh, everywhere.Copy !req
482. Ah, military.Copy !req
483. That-that would explain
all the moves.Copy !req
484. Yeah, but forever ago...
The Great War.Copy !req
485. Uh... Iraq.Copy !req
486. Maybe not great, uh, you know,Copy !req
487. but overall pretty good...
Three out of five stars.Copy !req
488. I'm sorry.Copy !req
489. I don't mean to interrupt
whatever this is,Copy !req
490. but...Copy !req
491. can we get up now?Copy !req
492. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
493. If I could have everyone
please, uh,Copy !req
494. just line up for me
for witness statements.Copy !req
495. And if we could all thank
Mr. RenfieldCopy !req
496. for his brave, uh,
efforts today.Copy !req
497. Thank you, Mr. Renfield.Copy !req
498. You are the man, Mr. Renfield.Copy !req
499. And, um, thank you.Copy !req
500. Y-You... you saved my life.Copy !req
501. I...Copy !req
502. saved a life?Copy !req
503. You saved all our lives.Copy !req
504. You must really not be
from around here,Copy !req
505. 'cause we certainly don't see
your kind very often.Copy !req
506. I'm sorry, what kind is that?Copy !req
507. Heroes.Copy !req
508. Hmm.Copy !req
509. Wow. That was amazing.Copy !req
510. She is amazing.Copy !req
511. And she saw me.Copy !req
512. She really saw me.Copy !req
513. That hasn't happened in ages.Copy !req
514. I'd forgotten
what it feels like.Copy !req
515. - Maybe there is hope.
- Oh, God bless you.Copy !req
516. Maybe she can...Copy !req
517. Renfield.Copy !req
518. What are you doing?Copy !req
519. Get here now.Copy !req
520. Ah, fuck.Copy !req
521. Do you think it's too late
to grab one of those nuns?Copy !req
522. What did we talk about
yesterday?Copy !req
523. U-Um...Copy !req
524. I've been up all day
thinking about it.Copy !req
525. Oh. What's this?Copy !req
526. Ah. My plan.Copy !req
527. Your plan?Copy !req
528. But your plan has always been
to just drink blood.Copy !req
529. Exactly.Copy !req
530. What have I been doing
all these years?Copy !req
531. I mean, look at me,
lurking in the shadows and filthCopy !req
532. like some kind
of a diseased animal.Copy !req
533. You said it yourself...
I deserve better.Copy !req
534. So, why am I not embracing
what I truly am?Copy !req
535. Which is?Copy !req
536. A god, Renfield.Copy !req
537. An immortal, insatiable...Copy !req
538. Whoo! all-powerful being.Copy !req
539. Everything you said about
the modern world is true.Copy !req
540. - It is a dangerous place.
- Hmm.Copy !req
541. Only not for us.Copy !req
542. For them, it's a dangerous,
sad, broken placeCopy !req
543. full of fear and desperation.Copy !req
544. It's weak.Copy !req
545. Longing for a powerful force
to guide it,Copy !req
546. control it, dominate it.Copy !req
547. - Like you.
- Hmm.Copy !req
548. I mean, this entire society
was designed by Renfields,Copy !req
549. for Renfields.Copy !req
550. So, why should I
have to adapt to it?Copy !req
551. It should have to adapt to me.Copy !req
552. - I owe it all to you, servant.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
553. I think you actually might have
read between the linesCopy !req
554. - a little bit there.
- Indeed.Copy !req
555. We're in this together,Copy !req
556. Dracula and Renfield.Copy !req
557. From now on, humanity
will no longer be dividedCopy !req
558. by the good and the evil,Copy !req
559. only by followers...Copy !req
560. and food.Copy !req
561. You and I forever,
until the end of time.Copy !req
562. Bloody hell.Copy !req
563. How is my life?Copy !req
564. My life is like a...Copy !req
565. never-ending hallway
of fun house mirrors, but...Copy !req
566. all the clowns are me.Copy !req
567. Uh, hey, everyone.Copy !req
568. I need your help.Copy !req
569. Are you okay?Copy !req
570. No.Copy !req
571. I need to get out
of a toxic relationship.Copy !req
572. Okay. Well, well, well, well,
take a seat and let her rip.Copy !req
573. Okay, thanks.Copy !req
574. Okay, yeah. Fuck Carol, I guess.Copy !req
575. It's...Copy !req
576. I hate her, too.Copy !req
577. Why don't you start
by telling usCopy !req
578. what brought you here
in the first place.Copy !req
579. I was on the job.Copy !req
580. Uh, for my boss.Copy !req
581. Uh, well, and I was
actually following Bob,Copy !req
582. because I thought
that Bob would makeCopy !req
583. a very good, um, uh...Copy !req
584. Friend?Copy !req
585. Yes. Thank you, Bob.Copy !req
586. Thank you, Renfield.Copy !req
587. And then, you know,
I started to hearCopy !req
588. all of your stories and...Copy !req
589. I mean, they were all so sad.Copy !req
590. That's us.Copy !req
591. And, you know,
for the first time in years,Copy !req
592. I felt like I wasn't alone.Copy !req
593. - You realized you're
a codependent. -Mm-hmm.Copy !req
594. I need to change. I can see
that I-I need to change,Copy !req
595. and, uh, I want to, but my boss,Copy !req
596. he's pretty delusional, I think.Copy !req
597. Uh, he thinks
he can take over the world.Copy !req
598. He's a narcissist, Renfield.Copy !req
599. We all know exactly
how you feel.Copy !req
600. - Yes.
- Exactly.Copy !req
601. No, he's different.Copy !req
602. - You can't get him
out of your head. -No.Copy !req
603. Ooh, and you feel like
he could kill youCopy !req
604. with the snap of his fingers.Copy !req
605. - Yes. Wouldn't even
need to snap. -Oh.Copy !req
606. He controls rats with his mind.Copy !req
607. Uh...Copy !req
608. It's okay, it's okay.
He's on medication.Copy !req
609. Renfield, this is
codependency 101.Copy !req
610. A narcissist will take
full advantageCopy !req
611. of a codependent's
low self-esteem,Copy !req
612. but you're the one
with the real power.Copy !req
613. And all you got to do
is take it back.Copy !req
614. How do I do that?Copy !req
615. Focus on your needs.Copy !req
616. I mean, I just haven't
thought aboutCopy !req
617. any of my needs in years.Copy !req
618. But if you were to stop focusing
on his needs, what would happen?Copy !req
619. If I don't...Copy !req
620. Yeah, what would happen?Copy !req
621. Stop focusing on his needs.Copy !req
622. What would happen?Copy !req
623. He won't grow to full power.Copy !req
624. Exactly.
He won't grow to full power.Copy !req
625. What? That's so weird.Copy !req
626. Why would you phrase it
like that?Copy !req
627. But yes, he's right.Copy !req
628. He's absolutely right.Copy !req
629. He won't grow to full power.Copy !req
630. You can take all that energy
you've spent on himCopy !req
631. and put it toward yourself.Copy !req
632. And then you will be the one
who grows to full power.Copy !req
633. - Yes.
- Full power.Copy !req
634. Me grow...
I-I'm gonna grow to full power?Copy !req
635. I want to hear you say it.Copy !req
636. Say, "I'm gonna grow
to full power."Copy !req
637. I-I-I'm gonna grow
to full power.Copy !req
638. I heard you say it,
but I didn't believe you.Copy !req
639. - Nope.
- Let me hear you say it again.Copy !req
640. - I'm gonna grow to full power.
- Yes!Copy !req
641. I see a smile there
because you like it.Copy !req
642. Now, say it like
the world needs to hear it.Copy !req
643. I'm gonna grow to full power.Copy !req
644. There you go!Copy !req
645. - Yes!
- That guy who walksCopy !req
646. in here every single week,
say goodbye to him.Copy !req
647. This is the person you are now.Copy !req
648. Here you go.Copy !req
649. The power is in your hands.Copy !req
650. That book is your armor.Copy !req
651. It's your weapon.
It's your Bible.Copy !req
652. That's a cool ant farm.Copy !req
653. Is there room for one more?Copy !req
654. - Yeah.
- Yeah?Copy !req
655. Thank you.Copy !req
656. Let's give him some ideas.Copy !req
657. Do you know what a brush is?Copy !req
658. Oh, and clean
them nasty fingernails.Copy !req
659. Spa day. I'll go with you.Copy !req
660. Get your chakras
balanced, homes.Copy !req
661. Ooh, and update
that wardrobe to this century.Copy !req
662. You would think
that attacking a police officerCopy !req
663. in front of a bunch of witnessesCopy !req
664. at a restaurant would be enough
to put Teddy Lobo behind bars.Copy !req
665. You guys don't think I know
what's going on here, huh?Copy !req
666. I don't know
how many of you assholesCopy !req
667. are on the Lobos' payroll,Copy !req
668. but there's only so much
evidence you can tamper withCopy !req
669. and so many witnesses
you can intimidate.Copy !req
670. All right? Because eventually,Copy !req
671. someone brave enough
is going to step forward,Copy !req
672. and they're going to help me
take down the LobosCopy !req
673. and all of you motherfuckers!Copy !req
674. Permanently! Permanently!Copy !req
675. Mr. Renfield?Copy !req
676. Robert Montague Renfield,
yes, at your service.Copy !req
677. You look different.Copy !req
678. - Oh.
- Good different.Copy !req
679. I really like your sweater.Copy !req
680. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
681. - I went to Macy's.
- Oh.Copy !req
682. Um, I'm here to give
my witness statement.Copy !req
683. You always bring flowers
to give a witness statement?Copy !req
684. Yeah, uh, well,
th-they're for everyone.Copy !req
685. - They're for everyone.
- Everyone.Copy !req
686. Do you, um...
Probably put it in some water.Copy !req
687. And the rest are for you.Copy !req
688. - Thank you.
- Yeah. Pleasure.Copy !req
689. Rebecca, is this your boyfriend?Copy !req
690. Shut the fuck up, Kyle!Copy !req
691. Thank you for coming in,
Mr. Renfield.Copy !req
692. It really means a lot.Copy !req
693. Yeah, it means a lot
that I can actuallyCopy !req
694. do the right thing, for once.Copy !req
695. Well, if I could just stress
how appreciative I amCopy !req
696. that you're here, uh,
because without you,Copy !req
697. - I think I'd be a bit lost.
- No.Copy !req
698. You stood up for everyone
who's ever lived in fearCopy !req
699. of the powerful forces
shaping their lives.Copy !req
700. Okay? And you need
to keep doing that,Copy !req
701. because when
people like you stopCopy !req
702. standing up to people like them,Copy !req
703. that's when
the monsters take over.Copy !req
704. So...Copy !req
705. You are not lost.Copy !req
706. You're an inspiration.Copy !req
707. Thank you, Mr. Renfield.Copy !req
708. It's Robert.Copy !req
709. Robert.Copy !req
710. This is the same prickCopy !req
711. who took out everyone
in the restaurant.Copy !req
712. Who does he work for?Copy !req
713. - The five fucking families?
- I-I don't know.Copy !req
714. But we've hacked into
the NSA's Eye in the Sky,Copy !req
715. and we can track himCopy !req
716. using all these other cameras
throughout the city.Copy !req
717. Yes, I can get you access
to whatever you want.Copy !req
718. Yeah, and then we enhance.Copy !req
719. - We got a trace on him.
- Boom!Copy !req
720. We did it.
Now we can track his every move.Copy !req
721. His last known location
is at the old charity hospital.Copy !req
722. You have until the end of the
day to find him and kill him.Copy !req
723. Give me ten minutes.Copy !req
724. I'll take the end of the day.Copy !req
725. Can you run the DNA on this pen
through the Bureau's database?Copy !req
726. And Interpol.Copy !req
727. I can't trust this with anyone
who works in my department.Copy !req
728. This pen was found
near a locationCopy !req
729. where these three guys
went missing.Copy !req
730. Teddy Lobo was fleeing
from the same locationCopy !req
731. when I arrested him.Copy !req
732. Huh.Copy !req
733. Word on the street is
these are the three guysCopy !req
734. who allegedly stole drugs
from the Lobos.Copy !req
735. Right.Copy !req
736. And the DNA evidence on this penCopy !req
737. just might connect Teddy Lobo
to that crime scene.Copy !req
738. Maybe it's a long shot,
but I got to try.Copy !req
739. Look, I know I-I haven't
handled anything wellCopy !req
740. since Dad, um...Copy !req
741. but I really need your help.Copy !req
742. Can you run this pen?Copy !req
743. Please.Copy !req
744. Let's go. Come on.Copy !req
745. What the fuck?Copy !req
746. Holy fucking shit.Copy !req
747. Ronnie, call my mom!Copy !req
748. I'm on it.Copy !req
749. Ronnie, call my fucking mom!Copy !req
750. Hello, Ronnie?Copy !req
751. Ronnie, is this
another butt dial?Copy !req
752. Did you guys fucking bail?
Hello?Copy !req
753. - Guys?
- Teddy.Copy !req
754. - What the fuck? Mom.
- Teddy.Copy !req
755. Mom?Copy !req
756. Teddy?Copy !req
757. Do you know who the fuck I am?Copy !req
758. - Teddy?
- I'm Teddy fucking Lobo.Copy !req
759. I am Count Dracula.Copy !req
760. You win.Copy !req
761. Who are you?Copy !req
762. You were sent by the church?Copy !req
763. Church? No.Copy !req
764. What are you fucking
talking about?Copy !req
765. I'm a criminal.Copy !req
766. My whole organization
is about evil.Copy !req
767. Evil. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
768. Dude.Copy !req
769. Why are you here?Copy !req
770. I'm here because
I want to find this guy!Copy !req
771. I'm trying to find this guy.Copy !req
772. He stuck his nose
in our family businessCopy !req
773. and killed some of our guysCopy !req
774. trying to save
a bunch of innocent people.Copy !req
775. So, what is he,
like, your fucking roommate?Copy !req
776. He's my servant.Copy !req
777. He doesn't seem
to be serving you very well.Copy !req
778. You've reached Officer Quincy.Copy !req
779. Please state your emergency
at the sound of the beep.Copy !req
780. Uh, hi, Rebecca.Copy !req
781. It's not an emergency.
It-it's me, Robert.Copy !req
782. What, uh, I was trying
to ask was, um,Copy !req
783. maybe you'd like
to get a bite to eat...Copy !req
784. Hello, Renfield.Copy !req
785. I've been expecting you.Copy !req
786. Please, come in.Copy !req
787. Close the door.Copy !req
788. Shit.Copy !req
789. Marvelous attire.Copy !req
790. Very colorful.Copy !req
791. You look like the sort of boy
who has to fight 'em off.Copy !req
792. So, I suppose that's a noCopy !req
793. as to you bringing me
my dinner tonight, hmm?Copy !req
794. - A no? No.
- No?Copy !req
795. No, not a no.Copy !req
796. - No, not no?
- Uh, yes.Copy !req
797. Big yes to dinner.Copy !req
798. Ooh. Um, a feast.
A full feast, Master.Copy !req
799. In fact,
I'm so glad you're here.Copy !req
800. Um, I was actually, um...
I was on my way to see you.Copy !req
801. Oh, you were on your way.Copy !req
802. Yes, but I had, um,
too many bodies.Copy !req
803. - Oh, you-you have bodies, huh?
- Yeah, too... too many.Copy !req
804. Well, uh, so many bodies, um,
that I couldn't carry them all.Copy !req
805. - Uh, you should have seen it.
- Mm. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
806. The problem is my back
has really been playing up.Copy !req
807. Anyway, the-the plan is
to rent a U-Haul, and that way,Copy !req
808. - I'll be able to get all
the bodies... -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
809. You know what? It's so silly,
but you don't have to worry,Copy !req
810. um, and I-I won't bother you
with my-my problems.Copy !req
811. No, no.Copy !req
812. Please, tell me
all about your problems.Copy !req
813. Tell me all about
the gun-wielding criminalsCopy !req
814. who came after you
for killing their menCopy !req
815. because you were protecting
so-called innocent people.Copy !req
816. I'm-I'm sorry.Copy !req
817. I'm sorry, Master.
I never meant to hurt you.Copy !req
818. Hurt me?Copy !req
819. Are you actually suggestingCopy !req
820. that anything you could do
would hurt...Copy !req
821. me?Copy !req
822. No. No, no, no, no, no.
No, Master, I'm sorry.Copy !req
823. I didn't mean...
I didn't mean that.Copy !req
824. No, no, it's-it's all right.
It's all right.Copy !req
825. - Really?
- No, it's... Yeah.Copy !req
826. Let me explain
something to you, okay?Copy !req
827. - Okay.
- I was wrong about you.Copy !req
828. I should've realized
what you were capable ofCopy !req
829. when you were so eager
to join me.Copy !req
830. I-I don't think I was eager.Copy !req
831. I think that you caught me
at a low momentCopy !req
832. - and you maybe manipulated me,
too. -No, no, no,Copy !req
833. - no, no... -And you just
caught me at a low momentCopy !req
834. - and used some of your power...
- no, no, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
835. I use my power
for a lot of things,Copy !req
836. but I didn't need
to use it on you.Copy !req
837. You were a lawyer
who wanted to get richCopy !req
838. off a real estate deal.Copy !req
839. You're the one who used me!Copy !req
840. You used my power
because you're a husk.Copy !req
841. An empty void
that nothing can fill.Copy !req
842. The only thing that gave your
life any meaning was my power.Copy !req
843. The power you used
to bring me victimsCopy !req
844. while you pretended
to be one yourself.Copy !req
845. However,
I'm the real victim here!Copy !req
846. I'm the one
you swore to protect!Copy !req
847. And you...Copy !req
848. abandoned me!Copy !req
849. No.Copy !req
850. That's not true.Copy !req
851. Just like you abandonedCopy !req
852. your wife and your daughter.Copy !req
853. That's not... I didn't...Copy !req
854. I didn't abandon them.Copy !req
855. Look into your own eyes,
Renfield.Copy !req
856. You're the monster, Renfield,
not me.Copy !req
857. It's you.Copy !req
858. No. No.Copy !req
859. That's enough. That's enough.Copy !req
860. What?Copy !req
861. I will no longer tolerate abuse.Copy !req
862. Stop laughing.Copy !req
863. I deserve love.Copy !req
864. I deserve happiness.Copy !req
865. You deserve only suffering.Copy !req
866. Um, oh. I know being undead,
it's a painful existence...Copy !req
867. It is... and I empathize
with your pain.Copy !req
868. Oh, please. Illuminate me.Copy !req
869. Let me learn from you.Copy !req
870. I will find everyone
you have ever loved,Copy !req
871. and I will drain them.Copy !req
872. - I will reduce this... this...
- S-Studio apartment?Copy !req
873. Studio apartment until it's ash!Copy !req
874. Uh... uh...Copy !req
875. Affirmations, affirmations.Copy !req
876. Uh, I'm enough, and, um,
I deserve some happiness.Copy !req
877. There is some other stuff
that I have to say.Copy !req
878. Who put these ideas
in your head?Copy !req
879. Of course.Copy !req
880. What?Copy !req
881. Shit.Copy !req
882. You think Doug was murdered?Copy !req
883. I can't say for sure, but I...Copy !req
884. I hope he was fucking murdered.Copy !req
885. I hope he was torn to
itty-bitty pieces and then...Copy !req
886. I shouldn't be saying that
to a cop, right?Copy !req
887. Karla, margaritas are ready!Copy !req
888. Caitlyn! Oh, God. This...Copy !req
889. Try this.Copy !req
890. Are you Caitlyn Berggren?Copy !req
891. I can be anybody I want now.Copy !req
892. That's right. Yes, you can.Copy !req
893. Did you file a missing persons
report for Mitch Flaherty?Copy !req
894. - Maybe.
- Are you Caitlyn?Copy !req
895. H-How do you two
know each other?Copy !req
896. - Um, from this support group
thing. -Copy !req
897. Uh, for people addicted
to assholes.Copy !req
898. Assholes Anonymous.Copy !req
899. At the Livespring Church.Copy !req
900. I realized that
I can identify healthy love.Copy !req
901. I just don't think I deserve it.Copy !req
902. Um, and that's partially
the shame talking,Copy !req
903. but also the rash...Copy !req
904. Renfield?Copy !req
905. Can I get through
one fucking share, please?Copy !req
906. Is, uh... is everyone okay?Copy !req
907. - If that's what you want to
call it. - We're all fine.Copy !req
908. - What's going on?
What's going on? -We, uh...Copy !req
909. We need to leave. Now.Copy !req
910. I mean, where's the rule
that says we have to talkCopy !req
911. about our feelings in a gym?
Come on, please.Copy !req
912. Up. Up. Let's go somewhere safe
till morning.Copy !req
913. Come on, up.
Everybody, move. Come on.Copy !req
914. Renfield,
just take a deep breath.Copy !req
915. We are all fine. I promise...Copy !req
916. Mark, we need to leave now.Copy !req
917. All right...Copy !req
918. Hi. Uh, are you here
for the meeting?Copy !req
919. Well, come on in.Copy !req
920. No! No! No!Copy !req
921. You can leave your top hat
and cane by the door.Copy !req
922. Renfield.Copy !req
923. I'm...Copy !req
924. feeling much better.Copy !req
925. Don't.Copy !req
926. Would you like to introduce
yourself to the group?Copy !req
927. I'm the prince of Wallachia.Copy !req
928. Some call me the Dark One.Copy !req
929. Others, the Lord of Death.Copy !req
930. However, to most,Copy !req
931. I am known simply as...Copy !req
932. Renfield's boss!Copy !req
933. I am Dracula.Copy !req
934. Okay.
Obviously, we're dealing withCopy !req
935. a little bit more than
just narcissism here.Copy !req
936. Master.Copy !req
937. Please.Copy !req
938. I should never
have forsaken you.Copy !req
939. You could've had everything.Copy !req
940. I gave you the choice betweenCopy !req
941. the power of a godCopy !req
942. and the pathetic desperation
of humanity.Copy !req
943. Why?Copy !req
944. Why would you choose this?Copy !req
945. Because...Copy !req
946. that's what I am.Copy !req
947. Master, please.Copy !req
948. These are good people.Copy !req
949. Good. You've finally brought me
what I've been asking for.Copy !req
950. Let's eat.Copy !req
951. Please. Please. No.Copy !req
952. No!Copy !req
953. Please, Dracula!Copy !req
954. No.Copy !req
955. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry.Copy !req
956. There are some experiencesCopy !req
957. worse than death, Renfield.Copy !req
958. Such as spending
the remaining yearsCopy !req
959. of your miserable lifeCopy !req
960. knowing all the depravityCopy !req
961. you've witnessed
in the last centuryCopy !req
962. will be nothing
compared to the sufferingCopy !req
963. I'm going to unleash
on this world.Copy !req
964. The world you chose over mine.Copy !req
965. When I'm finished,
the entire human race,Copy !req
966. everyone you care about,
will suffer.Copy !req
967. Because you betrayed me.Copy !req
968. - Holy shit.
- Hands in the air.Copy !req
969. I destroyed everything.Copy !req
970. I'll call it in.Copy !req
971. I thought
I could save these peopleCopy !req
972. by bringing Dracula
all of their monsters,Copy !req
973. but what I've really done isCopy !req
974. deliver my monster
right to them.Copy !req
975. Did you call it in?Copy !req
976. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
977. What the fuck?Copy !req
978. I'm sorry, Rebecca.Copy !req
979. It's okay.Copy !req
980. This is not about you,
Miss Quincy.Copy !req
981. It's about him.Copy !req
982. I need to find out
what happened to TeddyCopy !req
983. and punish those responsible.Copy !req
984. You, of all people,
should understand that.Copy !req
985. Well, I was gonna
take him to jail.Copy !req
986. You all should come, too.Copy !req
987. Look, Quincy,
this is a big arrest you made.Copy !req
988. I want to offer you
a full promotion.Copy !req
989. Right? Better hours, better pay,Copy !req
990. better parking space...
In fact, Kyle's parking space.Copy !req
991. - Uh, hey.
- Fuck you, Kyle!Copy !req
992. Congratulations.Copy !req
993. I know this is not exactly
what you were hoping for,Copy !req
994. but success really is
the best revenge.Copy !req
995. Okay.Copy !req
996. Fuck!Copy !req
997. I want the whole city activated.Copy !req
998. Find them.Copy !req
999. Attention, all officers.Copy !req
1000. Officer Rebecca Quincy
is now a wanted fugitive.Copy !req
1001. She and her male accomplice are
armed and extremely dangerous.Copy !req
1002. Officer Rebecca QuincyCopy !req
1003. and one unknown assailant.Copy !req
1004. Proceed with deadly force.Copy !req
1005. Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
1006. Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
1007. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
1008. Wait. No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
1009. This crime family of yours,Copy !req
1010. would it enjoy witnessingCopy !req
1011. the beheading of its enemiesCopy !req
1012. and the impalement
of all who oppose it?Copy !req
1013. That's-that's...
that's, like, our...Copy !req
1014. that's, like,
our whole thing, man.Copy !req
1015. And can the family
raise me soldiers?Copy !req
1016. We can... I can make
a couple calls, yeah.Copy !req
1017. Whatever pain
Renfield caused you,Copy !req
1018. I will return 10,000-fold.Copy !req
1019. I will unleash an army of deathCopy !req
1020. whilst warming my skinCopy !req
1021. next to mountains
of burning corpses.Copy !req
1022. How does that sound to you?Copy !req
1023. It sounds like
you got to meet my mom.Copy !req
1024. Are you happy,
or are you gonna fuck me up?Copy !req
1025. How are you feeling?Copy !req
1026. Hope you're hungry.Copy !req
1027. It's okay.Copy !req
1028. It's okay, your gun and phone
are on the side right there.Copy !req
1029. I'm just gonna... gonna
set these down right here.Copy !req
1030. There we go.Copy !req
1031. - Where am I?
- My place.Copy !req
1032. It's not an abduction.Copy !req
1033. In fact, uh, you know, I'm very
much still in your custody.Copy !req
1034. Mind if I sit?Copy !req
1035. Snickerdoodle?Copy !req
1036. I don't want
your murder cookies.Copy !req
1037. They're just regular cookies.Copy !req
1038. Well, I don't know what
"regular cookies" meansCopy !req
1039. to a murderer.Copy !req
1040. Um, I don't really
know that, either.Copy !req
1041. Ooh. Careful.Copy !req
1042. - You should just rest up.
- Oh. Okay.Copy !req
1043. - You okay?
- Yes.Copy !req
1044. Give me the...
give me the murder cookie.Copy !req
1045. - Oh, yeah. -Just not the one
that looks like shit.Copy !req
1046. I don't know which one
you think looks like shit.Copy !req
1047. Thank you.Copy !req
1048. Listen, I feel like I should
give you an explanation.Copy !req
1049. No explanation necessary.Copy !req
1050. I don't want you to think of me
as some kind of... murderer,Copy !req
1051. when it's really
much more nuanced than that.Copy !req
1052. You know, if you just
hear me out for a second,Copy !req
1053. then you'll understand I'm...
I'm not such a bad guy.Copy !req
1054. I don't give a shit
what kind of guy you are.Copy !req
1055. Okay, there's no need
to be mean.Copy !req
1056. Excuse me?Copy !req
1057. I saved your life. Twice.Copy !req
1058. I'm not saying we need
to be friends, but you're inCopy !req
1059. a lot of shit right now,
and there's a very good chanceCopy !req
1060. I might be the only person
you can actually trust.Copy !req
1061. The fact that you are
the only person that I can trustCopy !req
1062. just proves that I am
monumentally fucked.Copy !req
1063. Well, maybe you're fucked
because ofCopy !req
1064. - your unresolved anger.
- What?Copy !req
1065. I'm no psychologist, but I've
been to a couple of meetings...Copy !req
1066. Oh, you've-you've been
to some meetings? Yeah?Copy !req
1067. Where the people come in,
they're like, "Oh, hi."Copy !req
1068. How you doing?"
Drink some coffee,Copy !req
1069. then get brutally
fucking murdered?Copy !req
1070. Those meetings?Copy !req
1071. Uh, yes. Those meetings.Copy !req
1072. You know what?Copy !req
1073. I am angry.Copy !req
1074. I graduated top of my class,Copy !req
1075. and I'm still working
DUI checkpointsCopy !req
1076. in a town with
daiquiri drive-throughs.Copy !req
1077. I bust my ass
for a city that is corruptCopy !req
1078. and lets the people
that killed my fatherCopy !req
1079. get away with anything
they want to do.Copy !req
1080. But unlike you,
I can't go and take out my angerCopy !req
1081. by killing every asshole on the
street who I think deserves it.Copy !req
1082. I'm sorry. That sounds...Copy !req
1083. painful and, um...Copy !req
1084. I'm not taking out my anger,
if you'd let me explain.Copy !req
1085. Please.Copy !req
1086. Okay.Copy !req
1087. By all means.Copy !req
1088. I work for Dracula.Copy !req
1089. What?Copy !req
1090. Dracula.Copy !req
1091. Dracula?Copy !req
1092. - Dracula.
- Count Dracula?Copy !req
1093. No, no. President Dracula.Copy !req
1094. Yes, of co... Yes. Sorry.Copy !req
1095. Count Dracula.
I'm... I'm his familiar.Copy !req
1096. I-I... you know,
I tend to his needs,Copy !req
1097. including care, feeding,
uh, you know,Copy !req
1098. anything especially during
the daylight hours.Copy !req
1099. Like, you get Dracula
people to eat?Copy !req
1100. I do other stuff, too.Copy !req
1101. Like what? Wash his cape?Copy !req
1102. No.Copy !req
1103. It's dry-clean only.Copy !req
1104. My God.Copy !req
1105. I cannot believe
I bought into your bullshit.Copy !req
1106. You're not a hero.Copy !req
1107. You're not even a villain.Copy !req
1108. You're just a guy
that kills random people.Copy !req
1109. What?Copy !req
1110. Rebecca, you were right.Copy !req
1111. I ran that pen through Interpol.Copy !req
1112. This is beyond the Lobos.Copy !req
1113. Whoever's responsible
for those disappearancesCopy !req
1114. has been linked to cases
all over the worldCopy !req
1115. going back decades.Copy !req
1116. If this is the same guy,
he's probably 70 or 80 years oldCopy !req
1117. and he might be
the most prolific serial killerCopy !req
1118. the world has ever known.Copy !req
1119. So, where are you?Copy !req
1120. Where am I? Um...Copy !req
1121. I'm-I'm at his...
I'm at his place.Copy !req
1122. But-but it's-it's okay
because he's-he's in...Copy !req
1123. - he's in my custody.
- What?Copy !req
1124. And he made me some cookies.Copy !req
1125. You didn't eat the cookies,
did you?Copy !req
1126. No. I don't eat the cookies
of strange men.Copy !req
1127. Okay. Well, I'm gonna head
over there with my team.Copy !req
1128. No, no, no. Don't.
I need to get him to you.Copy !req
1129. The Lobos are after him, too.Copy !req
1130. I don't know who we can trust.Copy !req
1131. Meet me at Café Du Monde
in 20 minutes.Copy !req
1132. Okay, just...
please be careful, Rebecca.Copy !req
1133. You, too.Copy !req
1134. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1135. Go, go.Copy !req
1136. All units,
you have a green light.Copy !req
1137. Commence attack.Copy !req
1138. We need to find a bug. Now.Copy !req
1139. Why?Copy !req
1140. Their life force gives me power.Copy !req
1141. Their life force
gives you power?Copy !req
1142. Yes. It's confusing,
but trust me, it works.Copy !req
1143. Any second now,
a shit ton of guysCopy !req
1144. are coming up those stairs,
and if you want me to doCopy !req
1145. what I did at the restaurant,
we need to find a bug now.Copy !req
1146. - You two, with me.
- Go, go, go.Copy !req
1147. Come on.
A juicy spider, anything.Copy !req
1148. Yes!Copy !req
1149. Give me that!Copy !req
1150. You're a bad man, Mr. Renfield!Copy !req
1151. Yeah, well...Copy !req
1152. Sometimes that comes in handy.Copy !req
1153. - Ooh.
- That son of a bitch can fly?Copy !req
1154. - Oh, shit!
- Whoa.Copy !req
1155. - Oh, shit!
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
1156. You know when
something crazy happensCopy !req
1157. and someone's like,Copy !req
1158. "I'm so sorry
you had to see that"?Copy !req
1159. - Mm.
- And the other person's like,Copy !req
1160. "It's okay,
I've seen way worse"?Copy !req
1161. Yeah.Copy !req
1162. Everything I saw you do today
is gonna be my "way worse."Copy !req
1163. This shit's gotten
completely out of control.Copy !req
1164. And for what? Teddy?Copy !req
1165. He's a freaking idiot.Copy !req
1166. I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm out.Copy !req
1167. Get the fuck out my way.Copy !req
1168. This whole family
is fucking nuts.Copy !req
1169. Oh, hey.
I was just talking about...Copy !req
1170. Looks like he's back in.Copy !req
1171. Son.Copy !req
1172. Oh, Mom.Copy !req
1173. Where have you been?Copy !req
1174. Oh, I've been getting my hands
real fucking dirty.Copy !req
1175. Come here.
I got to show you someone.Copy !req
1176. Right there.
Put it down right there.Copy !req
1177. Right in front of the head.Copy !req
1178. It's fucking Dracula!Copy !req
1179. It's the real fucking Dracula!Copy !req
1180. Fuck, man!Copy !req
1181. He wants to take over
the world with us.Copy !req
1182. Hello, Mr. Dracula.Copy !req
1183. Or should I say Prince Dracula?Copy !req
1184. Enchantée.Copy !req
1185. The pleasure is all mine.Copy !req
1186. We have much to discuss.Copy !req
1187. Oh.Copy !req
1188. Okay.Copy !req
1189. God, I hope
my sister gets here soon.Copy !req
1190. There's a lot of heat on us.Copy !req
1191. I took my family
to a place like this in LondonCopy !req
1192. the morning I left
for Dracula's castle.Copy !req
1193. You had a family?Copy !req
1194. I did.Copy !req
1195. Um, it was a... a long time ago.Copy !req
1196. A really long time ago.Copy !req
1197. Yeah, I'm older than I look.Copy !req
1198. That's Lilian.
She was five then.Copy !req
1199. I thought going to EuropeCopy !req
1200. to make some big deal
with a countCopy !req
1201. would give us
the life we deserved.Copy !req
1202. Or, um...Copy !req
1203. what I thought I deserved.Copy !req
1204. I let them down in so many ways.Copy !req
1205. You know,
that's his greatest power.Copy !req
1206. He looks into your eyes
and findsCopy !req
1207. what you think you need
to make your life whole.Copy !req
1208. Your... your dreams
and your desiresCopy !req
1209. and your... greed.Copy !req
1210. Your shame.Copy !req
1211. I blamed him for forcing me
to abandon my family,Copy !req
1212. but that... that's not true.Copy !req
1213. I...Copy !req
1214. I wanted all those things,
and I chose to follow him.Copy !req
1215. I'm not a victim. I'm...Copy !req
1216. I made all those mistakes
on my own.Copy !req
1217. Look, I don't think
you're such a bad guy.Copy !req
1218. Life throws
a lot of shit at you,Copy !req
1219. but sometimes
you fall under the thrallCopy !req
1220. of a vampire for a few decades,Copy !req
1221. and sometimes you call
your sister an unbearable twatCopy !req
1222. at Grandma's birthday party.Copy !req
1223. You should make things right
with your sister while you can.Copy !req
1224. Hmm?Copy !req
1225. Speaking of.Copy !req
1226. I'm gonna call her.Copy !req
1227. Renfield. It's so wonderfulCopy !req
1228. that you have finally
found someoneCopy !req
1229. who does inspire you
to grow as a person.Copy !req
1230. Hey, where are you?Copy !req
1231. I have found some peopleCopy !req
1232. who will unleash my potential
as well.Copy !req
1233. They understand this worldCopy !req
1234. for what it is
and what it needs.Copy !req
1235. Hello, Rebecca.Copy !req
1236. Looking for someone?Copy !req
1237. Where's my sister?Copy !req
1238. I offered you so much, Rebecca,Copy !req
1239. but you put your faith
in such fragile institutionsCopy !req
1240. instead of something
far more enduring.Copy !req
1241. We've got your sister.Copy !req
1242. She doesn't have much time.Copy !req
1243. Rebecca, where are you going?Copy !req
1244. - To get my sister.
- Rebecca, you don't understand.Copy !req
1245. It's not just the Lobos. It's...Copy !req
1246. Dracula is with them.Copy !req
1247. - Fine. I'll go myself.
- Look, please.Copy !req
1248. I tried to stand up to him,Copy !req
1249. and he killed people
I cared about.Copy !req
1250. I can't let that happen again.Copy !req
1251. You want to be a hero, Renfield?Copy !req
1252. You have to risk everything.Copy !req
1253. And as someone
that cares about you,Copy !req
1254. you're never really gonna
be free until you face him.Copy !req
1255. You care about me?Copy !req
1256. Is that what it takes
to get you in the car?Copy !req
1257. All right,
if we're gonna do this,Copy !req
1258. we need to prepare, and
we need to do it before sunset.Copy !req
1259. I'm ready to do it before lunch.Copy !req
1260. Okay.Copy !req
1261. Let's face it,
they know we're coming,Copy !req
1262. so let's go in style.Copy !req
1263. Yeah, just guns won't be enough.Copy !req
1264. I'm gonna need bugs...
Lots of bugs...Copy !req
1265. Wooden stakes,Copy !req
1266. uh, crucifixes,Copy !req
1267. and, uh,
maybe a protection circle.Copy !req
1268. What the fuck is
a protection circle?Copy !req
1269. It's a circle
made of powder that...Copy !req
1270. It-it traps demons
if you say the right,Copy !req
1271. - uh, Latin stuff.
- Forget it.Copy !req
1272. Oh, once it's dark,
it'll be too late.Copy !req
1273. Can you maybe
save that for later?Copy !req
1274. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
1275. - It's all in...
- Is it in my teeth?Copy !req
1276. It is in every tooth.Copy !req
1277. Uh...Copy !req
1278. No matter what happens
in there, ju...Copy !req
1279. Make sure you save your sister.Copy !req
1280. Must be nice...Copy !req
1281. not needing to be invited in.Copy !req
1282. Wait a second. Wait a second.
Don't I know you?Copy !req
1283. Because you look so...Copy !req
1284. familiar.Copy !req
1285. Afternoon, Officer.Copy !req
1286. Shit. I'm out.Copy !req
1287. You think I need guns
to fuck you up?Copy !req
1288. Let's do this. What the fuck?Copy !req
1289. Fuck!Copy !req
1290. You should've taken my offer
when you had the chance.Copy !req
1291. Now the only choice
you're gonna getCopy !req
1292. is which one of your limbs
I'm gonna tear off first!Copy !req
1293. Go!Copy !req
1294. No!Copy !req
1295. Oh, this must drive you crazy...
Him choosing me over you.Copy !req
1296. I don't really have
strong feelings about it.Copy !req
1297. I'm clearly the yin
to your yang.Copy !req
1298. We've barely met twice.Copy !req
1299. You patronizing piece of shit!Copy !req
1300. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
1301. You almost scared me.Copy !req
1302. Where's my sister?Copy !req
1303. Oh, that.Copy !req
1304. One moment, please.Copy !req
1305. I need to set the mood first.Copy !req
1306. Hello, Rebecca.Copy !req
1307. Don't worry.Copy !req
1308. I won't hurt you.Copy !req
1309. It's nice to finally meet you.Copy !req
1310. I can only imagine what
you might have heard about meCopy !req
1311. from poor Renfield.Copy !req
1312. Besides making him bring you
people to eat?Copy !req
1313. Well, we did have
a complicated relationship.Copy !req
1314. However, when I saw you
through his eyes,Copy !req
1315. I knew I had
to make things right.Copy !req
1316. Having Dracula powers
is fucking amazing.Copy !req
1317. Stop saying "Dracula powers."Copy !req
1318. Fine. What do you call it?Copy !req
1319. It's a curse.Copy !req
1320. God, you're such
a fucking drama queen.Copy !req
1321. Would you please listen?Copy !req
1322. They come with a cost, okay?Copy !req
1323. You'll become his slave.Copy !req
1324. See, that's where you're wrong,
because Master told me...Copy !req
1325. Shit.Copy !req
1326. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1327. For half a millennium,
I've seen only weaknessCopy !req
1328. in the hearts of men.Copy !req
1329. And then I looked into yours.Copy !req
1330. Renfield used only
the smallest taste of my powerCopy !req
1331. to do what he thought was good.Copy !req
1332. Imagine what I could do,
Rebecca, with you by my side.Copy !req
1333. We could bring
the justice you seekCopy !req
1334. to those who've escaped it
for too long.Copy !req
1335. And I can heal your sister.Copy !req
1336. My blood will bring her back.Copy !req
1337. No.Copy !req
1338. Say the word, Rebecca,Copy !req
1339. and I will undo
what the Lobos have done.Copy !req
1340. All I ask in exchange...Copy !req
1341. is for youCopy !req
1342. to join me.Copy !req
1343. No, don't listen to him.Copy !req
1344. He said the same shit to me.Copy !req
1345. Can you save her?Copy !req
1346. Yes.Copy !req
1347. What did he call you again?Copy !req
1348. An empty fucking husk?Copy !req
1349. See, that... that is whyCopy !req
1350. Dracula and I work
so well together.Copy !req
1351. I'm a full husk,Copy !req
1352. full of everything you're not.Copy !req
1353. Strength, power, loyalty!Copy !req
1354. Her time is running out.Copy !req
1355. Oh, join me.Copy !req
1356. Don't.Copy !req
1357. I told you,
this is what he does.Copy !req
1358. So what?Copy !req
1359. I lost my dad.Copy !req
1360. I can't lose my sister.Copy !req
1361. And if he can give her
back to me...Copy !req
1362. I don't care if I lose myself.Copy !req
1363. You were wrong about him.Copy !req
1364. He's not a monster.Copy !req
1365. He wants to be better, like you.Copy !req
1366. Maybe I can help.Copy !req
1367. In all the darkness,
I can find the light.Copy !req
1368. Shit.Copy !req
1369. That was impressive.Copy !req
1370. I can see what Renfield saw...Copy !req
1371. in you.Copy !req
1372. Now he'll see it go into me.Copy !req
1373. Congratulations.Copy !req
1374. You shot my foot.Copy !req
1375. Your foot still bleeds.Copy !req
1376. Die!Copy !req
1377. No! Oh, no!Copy !req
1378. You can't take my teeth.Copy !req
1379. You see, there will always
be people like you.Copy !req
1380. There are far more Renfields
in this worldCopy !req
1381. than there are Rebeccas.Copy !req
1382. He's right.Copy !req
1383. There are millions
of people like me.Copy !req
1384. I am enough...Copy !req
1385. And they're allCopy !req
1386. trying to figure outCopy !req
1387. how to overcome
their destructive relationships.Copy !req
1388. Always remember, you're the one
with the real power.Copy !req
1389. Millions of codependent people.Copy !req
1390. I am the dark poetry
in the hearts of all mankind.Copy !req
1391. Millions of peopleCopy !req
1392. just like me.Copy !req
1393. All you got to do
is take it back.Copy !req
1394. Do you know what you are?Copy !req
1395. Yes, I do.Copy !req
1396. I'm Robert...Copy !req
1397. Montague Renfield,Copy !req
1398. and I'm a codependent.Copy !req
1399. You're right. You didn't
have to use your powerCopy !req
1400. to make me your servant,Copy !req
1401. because I gave
all my power to you.Copy !req
1402. And I can take it back.Copy !req
1403. I am enough!Copy !req
1404. And I have enough!Copy !req
1405. And I am capable of change!Copy !req
1406. Because I love myself.Copy !req
1407. I'm taking...Copy !req
1408. full charge of my life today!Copy !req
1409. Look into my eyes, Dracula.Copy !req
1410. Full power, motherfucker.Copy !req
1411. Holy shit, it worked.Copy !req
1412. Is that a protection circle?Copy !req
1413. I got the instructions
off a Wiccan Tumblr.Copy !req
1414. Oh. And-and that?Copy !req
1415. - Cocaine.
- Really?Copy !req
1416. Yeah.
I guess any kind of powder worksCopy !req
1417. as long as you say
the right magic words.Copy !req
1418. Wow. Thank you, Wiccan Tumblr.Copy !req
1419. So, um, what do we do now?Copy !req
1420. Any last wishes?Copy !req
1421. I wish to spend
a season in hell,Copy !req
1422. where all
the amusing people are.Copy !req
1423. Hail Satan!Copy !req
1424. Yes, I know this looks extreme,Copy !req
1425. and maybe a little fun,Copy !req
1426. but to our defense,
there is so muchCopy !req
1427. folklore out there about
how to actually kill a vampire,Copy !req
1428. it gets confusing.Copy !req
1429. You know, I've personally
seen him come backCopy !req
1430. from some crazy shit,
so why not try everything?Copy !req
1431. You know, I'm not even
100% sure this will kill him,Copy !req
1432. but I do know it will take him
a long, long timeCopy !req
1433. to come back from.Copy !req
1434. You were right.Copy !req
1435. Success is the best revenge.Copy !req
1436. Touché, ma chérie.Copy !req
1437. Au revoir, bitch.Copy !req
1438. Hey. You okay?Copy !req
1439. Renfield said
you guys gave me some...Copy !req
1440. Dracula blood?Copy !req
1441. Oh, no, no.
It's a euphemism for, uh...Copy !req
1442. it's an... it's an...
like, an herbal remedy.Copy !req
1443. Okay. So, do you think
they carry it at GNC?Copy !req
1444. Yeah. Yeah, I th-think so.Copy !req
1445. I love you, Kate.Copy !req
1446. So...Copy !req
1447. There's only one thing
left to do.Copy !req
1448. You know...Copy !req
1449. I've got to pay
for what I've done.Copy !req
1450. I don't want you to go somewhere
just to punish yourself.Copy !req
1451. You belong out in the world.Copy !req
1452. People have a lot to learn
from a person like you.Copy !req
1453. Like what?Copy !req
1454. It's never too late
to be a hero.Copy !req
1455. Hmm.Copy !req
1456. I was lost
in a world of darknessCopy !req
1457. for a very long time,Copy !req
1458. but with all of your help,Copy !req
1459. I, um...Copy !req
1460. I found a way out.Copy !req
1461. Without you, I would never
have learned that...Copy !req
1462. I could save myself.Copy !req
1463. And thank you
for using Dracula bloodCopy !req
1464. to bring us all back to life.Copy !req
1465. You know, if it...Copy !req
1466. if it wasn't for you,
uh, none of usCopy !req
1467. would have learned
what it's likeCopy !req
1468. to come back
from the other side,Copy !req
1469. having seen thingsCopy !req
1470. that you can't unsee.Copy !req
1471. And know thingsCopy !req
1472. that you can't unknow.Copy !req
1473. Okay.Copy !req
1474. Fantastic meeting today, guys.Copy !req
1475. Truly.Copy !req
1476. I hope he's okay.Copy !req
1477. - He'll be all right.
- Hmm.Copy !req
1478. My name is
Robert Montague Renfield,Copy !req
1479. and I'm a codependent.Copy !req
1480. But I no longer feel
like a victim,Copy !req
1481. because I've finally
faced my demons.Copy !req
1482. You might also say
I chopped my demons upCopy !req
1483. into tiny little pieces,
encased them in concreteCopy !req
1484. and flushed them down the drain.Copy !req
1485. And if I can find the power
to do that,Copy !req
1486. then maybe everyone can.Copy !req
1487. Metaphorically speaking.Copy !req