1. Though many know
the tragic love story
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2. of Antony and Cleopatra,
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3. the wayward Roman general
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4. who fell madly in love
with the enchanting Egyptian queen,
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5. both of them taking their lives
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6. rather than face a world
without each other,
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7. few know the secret story
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8. of the most sought-after prize
and unsolved puzzle of their time.
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9. The mystery of Cleopatra's third egg.
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10. On their wedding day,
as a symbol of his undying devotion,
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11. Mark Antony presented Cleopatra
with three bejeweled eggs,
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12. each one more exquisite than the last.
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13. For centuries, these eggs were thought
to be nothing more than myth, rumor.
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14. But then, in 1907,
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15. just outside of Cairo,
a local farmer unearthed two of them.
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16. Some say the third egg was never found.
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17. Others claim it was discovered,
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18. but just as quickly lost,
never to be seen again.
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19. Join us as we explore that very question.
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20. What happened to Cleopatra's lost egg?
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21. Who may hold it in their possession?
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22. And most importantly,
will we ever see the day in which
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23. all three eggs are reunited
for the first time in over 2,000 years?
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24. Cleopatra's first egg
is on display for all to see
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25. at the world-famous Museo Nazionale
di Castel Sant'Angelo in Rome.
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26. The second egg has been
sold at auction numerous times
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27. and currently is held
in a private collection.
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28. You're not a cop.
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29. You're right, I'm not.
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30. You know what I mean, Agent.
Your badge is no good here.
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31. So no American cowboy stuff.
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32. Don't worry. Left my chaps at home.
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33. You sure about this?
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34. I know how he thinks.
He's gonna do it today. Trust me.
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35. All right, then, here we go.
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36. Impossible.
- I'm not asking.
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37. You need to shut the museum down,
evacuate your visitors,
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38. and seal all ingress
and egress points immediately.
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39. And Interpol has the authority
to compel me to do so?
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40. Don't test me, Director.
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41. You should listen to her.
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42. And who are you? Her bodyguard?
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43. This is Special Agent John Hartley
of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit.
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44. He's a consulting profiler
who specializes in art crime.
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45. You don't look like a profiler.
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46. Yeah, I get that a lot.
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47. Forty-one hours ago, Agent Hartley
received credible intelligence that
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48. the most wanted art thief in the world,
a man named Nolan Booth,
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49. intends to steal
the Egg of Cleopatra today.
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50. Who provided you this information?
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51. The Bishop.
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52. You cannot be serious.
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53. My dear, The Bishop is nothing more
than a boogeyman story in the art world.
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54. It's a catch-all concept.
It's someone to blame
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55. when you and your friends
in law enforcement
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56. are too incompetent to solve the case.
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57. Listen to me, unless we stop it,
that egg is gonna be stolen today.
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58. In fact, it may already be gone.
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59. Already gone, you say?
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60. Now, if you'll excuse me, Inspector,
I believe I owe your supervisor a call.
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61. Do you have thermal sensors in this room?
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62. - Of course we do.
- Show it to me.
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63. You're wasting our time.
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64. What, may I ask, are you looking for?
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65. Well, you see, Cleopatra's first egg
is covered in 18-karat gold.
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66. And gold reflects radiation.
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67. That egg should be
reflecting the heat in this room.
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68. It should be red, not blue.
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69. It's probably just an error
in the thermal sensor.
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70. Well, there's only one way to find out.
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71. Hey, sorry, big man, but there's
no food or drink in the museum.
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72. Thank you.
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73. No, no, wait a moment.
What do you think you're doing?
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74. Relax, it's fine.
He knows what he's doing.
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75. Seal the room. Now!
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76. Move! Move!
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77. He's heading for the exit.
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78. Oh.
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79. Freeze!
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80. He is here.
Send reinforcements.
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81. He's on the scaffolding.
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82. We're gonna need more—
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83. I know you. You're the… You're the slow
bald guy that's been chasing me.
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84. What do you got in the bag?
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85. You're American. What brings you to Rome?
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86. Gelato, the Colosseum.
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87. - Oh, it's beautiful. Beautiful place.
- Yeah.
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88. - First time?
- Yep.
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89. That was a fun foot chase, right?
Lots of twists and turns. Hijinks.
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90. Who knew it'd end up like this?
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91. - I did.
- Right.
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92. Fun's over, Nolan Booth.
Give me the bag, turn around,
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93. put your hands behind your back.
You're under arrest.
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94. Okay. Well, hold on one sec.
I just have two questions.
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95. Okay. Um…
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96. First question,
where'd you get that jacket?
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97. It's a statement piece.
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98. Somewhere there is a very nude cow
whispering…
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99. …"Worth it."
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100. And number two, on the whole
arresting me thing, I totally get it.
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101. You know, baby did a bad, bad thing. Yeah.
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102. But you don't happen to have,
like, a badge or somethin'
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103. tucked away in the turtleneck, do you?
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104. I don't need to show you my badge
because I've got a gun.
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105. Here's the thing.
You're putting me in a pickle.
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106. Without identification,
how do I know who you are?
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107. For all I know, you could be the bad guy,
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108. and I could be the other bad guy.
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109. You're right. I am the bad guy.
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110. Now shut up and give me the bag
before I shoot you in the mouth.
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111. - I'm gonna give this to you.
Good.
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112. Yeah, I'm just gonna give it to you
'cause I don't even want it.
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113. For the record, none of this feels good.
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114. Booth, don't move!
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115. Whoa!
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116. Come on, let's go.
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117. What the hell?
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118. Where are you going?
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119. Asshole!
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120. Can you hold on to this for me?
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121. - Thanks.
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122. What the hell?
You idiot! Are you blind?
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123. Nice place you got here.
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124. Special Agent John Hartley, FBI.
We met earlier.
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125. Aren't you a little outside
your jurisdiction?
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126. I am.
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127. Good thing these guys aren't.
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128. Wow!
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129. Hi, guys.
Don't take your shoes off or anything.
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130. You sure you brought enough guns?
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131. What can I say? I like to be thorough.
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132. No way, José.
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133. - The intrepid Inspector Das.
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134. I wouldn't have missed this for the world.
I'll take that. Thank you.
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135. - It's nice to meet a fan.
Oh, that's cute.
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136. You wanna know what else is cute?
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137. Because you're wanted
in 18 separate countries,
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138. I get to choose which one of them
detains you until trial,
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139. given your escape history.
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140. What are you, six for six now?
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141. Yeah. One more
and I get a Shawshank jacket.
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142. Keep making your jokes
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143. because I'm about to send you
to the worst place in the world.
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144. Your Instagram account?
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145. You know,
I'm really starting to not like you.
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146. Oh, come on!
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147. Not like me? You don't even know me.
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148. We could have a lot in common.
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149. Maybe I don't know you,
but I've been building a profile on you,
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150. ever since you stole William Strang's
Lady with a Red Hat from the Tate
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151. back in 2014.
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152. You can't prove that was me.
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153. I got that on Etsy.
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154. I've been tracking
your scores for a while.
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155. So let me take a crack
at who I think you really are.
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156. Sure thing. Yeah.
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157. - Only child.
- Mmm-hmm.
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158. Dad's a Swiss cop,
Mom's an American professor.
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159. You started stealing
between the ages of six and eight.
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160. You found out
you had a real talent for it.
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161. It made you feel special, different.
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162. You like to work alone.
You don't like a team.
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163. The only jobs you take are the ones
that make the big, splashy headlines,
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164. which tells me that you only do it
for the thrill and not the money.
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165. Are you insane? I love the money.
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166. I'm not done yet.
I'm just getting to the good part.
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167. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
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168. A lot of thieves out there
who claim to only do it for the money.
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169. That's not unusual.
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170. But what is unusual
is the risk that you take.
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171. The chances.
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172. It's as though you wanna get caught
so you can escape,
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173. just to prove yourself all over again,
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174. and prove that
you're better than everybody else
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175. and that you're worthy.
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176. Worthy of what? This speech?
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177. Your father's love.
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178. Congratulations.
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179. How'd you find me?
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180. Well, the same way I knew that
you were gonna steal the egg in Rome.
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181. The Bishop.
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182. The Bishop.
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183. Get him ready to move.
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184. Booth, I'm curious.
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185. How does it feel to be sold out
by the most wanted art thief in the world?
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186. I'm the most wanted art thief
in the world.
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187. You were.
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188. Wait. Wait here.
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189. There's no chance I'm putting
that thing in the same van as him.
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190. - See you at the airfield.
- I'll see you there.
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191. Door open.
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192. All right. We're good.
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193. Thank you.
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194. Hi, there.
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195. - You leaving town?
Flight's in an hour.
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196. Something up?
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197. You could say that. Hmm.
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198. Okay. What's going on?
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199. Funny,
I was gonna ask you the same thing.
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200. What are you doing with that?
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201. Oh, this priceless piece
of ancient cultural whatnot?
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202. Oops!
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203. Booth gave us a fake egg.
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204. I'll admit,
Booth was my first thought too.
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205. Then I asked myself,
"How well do you really know someone
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206. you only met 72 hours ago?"
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207. And someone whose official credentials
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208. came solely by
a written interagency communiqué.
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209. So I called up the Assistant Director
of the BAU at Quantico, really nice lady.
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210. She'd never heard of you.
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211. - That's impossible.
Is it?
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212. Yes, it's impossible.
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213. As impossible as a John Hartley
with a Swiss bank account
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214. that received an $8 million wire transfer
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215. from an encrypted third-party
on the same day the egg was stolen?
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216. Quite a coincidence,
wouldn't you say, Agent?
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217. We have eyes on target.
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218. Listen, whatever you think this is,
whatever you think I did, I didn't do.
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219. Someone's behind this.
The Bishop, maybe even Booth himself.
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220. - I'm being set up.
- Maybe you are, maybe you're not.
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221. Until I figure it out,
I'm gonna keep you where I can find you.
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222. Now, normally,
I'm not a vindictive person, but,
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223. well, I trusted you
and you hurt my feelings.
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224. So I picked someplace extra special.
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225. It's a bit of a black site.
Kind of the land due process forgot.
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226. You're under arrest, Agent Hartley.
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227. Das, look at me. Look at my eyes.
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228. I didn't do this.
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229. I don't believe you.
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230. You a top or a bottom?
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231. Doesn't matter.
Prison's gonna decide for us.
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232. You gotta be shittin' me.
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233. Well, I'll say one thing
about ol' Inspector Das,
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234. she's got a real sense of humor.
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235. Put 'er there, roomie.
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236. You're right, we should wash up first.
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237. It's okay. You're safe here.
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238. Except if they find out you're a cop.
Then they're gonna wanna kill you.
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239. Bishop must have seen you
coming from a mile away.
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240. Got your trust after selling me out.
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241. Can't run a con without gaining
the mark's trust first, that's page one.
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242. I know how a confidence scheme works,
trust me.
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243. Well, you do now, that's for sure.
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244. The same mystery thief who ratted me out
is the same one who framed you.
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245. That seems like a coincidence,
don't you think?
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246. This is not a coincidence. This is a plan.
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247. In one move, The Bishop took out
her lead competitor and lead investigator.
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248. - Two birds, one stone.
- Egg.
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249. - What?
- Two birds, one egg.
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250. It's kind of a lay-up.
Even Post Malone gets it.
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251. This is farm-to-table, right? Thank you.
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252. I don't understand why.
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253. Why would The Bishop go to the trouble of
framing me when she already has the egg?
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254. I mean, what's left?
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255. Three hundred million dollars?
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256. You're kidding.
I never heard of a price tag like that.
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257. No one has.
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258. But you don't understand,
that's not the price for just one egg.
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259. Here's the deal.
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260. Whoever brings
this Egyptian billionaire all three eggs
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261. by the night of his daughter's wedding
gets all the marbles.
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262. Turns out,
Mr. Big Daddy Big Bucks' daughter,
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263. guess what her name is?
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264. Stop guessing, it's Cleopatra.
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265. I mean, these people are horrible.
But I like money, so…
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266. So how does that work?
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267. No one knows where the third egg is.
It's never been found.
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268. I'm not gonna lie,
that's a bit of a problem.
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269. I was gonna deal with
the second egg first.
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270. Then the rest.
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271. All right, well,
Bureau intel says that the second egg
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272. is owned by an international arms dealer.
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273. Sotto Voce. I know all about this guy.
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274. His dad tried to strangle him
when he was 14.
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275. Nobody can stand
this son of a bitch.
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276. Apparently, it left
quite the impression on him.
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277. And strangling folks
became sort of a hobby for him.
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278. He's a big fan.
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279. Sotto Voce is super scary.
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280. But he's not above having a good time.
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281. Throws a masquerade party every year
for his top buyers
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282. in his I-probably-have-a-tiny-penis villa
in Valencia.
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283. Gunrunners are a little touchy
about their identity.
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284. So the Eyes Wide Shut thing
takes the edge off for everyone.
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285. Now, what none of these
evil one-percenters know
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286. is that upstairs,
locked away in a secret vault,
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287. Dr. Shirtless has in his possession
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288. an ancient piece of pricelessness
that I like to call…
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289. Cleopatra's second egg.
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290. And it's just begging for me to steal it.
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291. I'd be on my way there right now
if you weren't such a super cop.
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292. - Don't do that.
What?
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293. - Don't do that.
Do what?
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294. - I know what you're doing. Listen.
I'm not doing anything.
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295. These guys here,
if they find out you're a C-O-P…
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296. This is a room full of convicted murderers
and toilet vodka enthusiasts.
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297. We gotta make sure
they know you're not a cop.
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298. Nyet politsiya.
Listen to me. I beg…
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299. Guys? Nyet politsiya. Not a cop.
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300. This man is not a cop, all right?
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301. Get that through
your thick skulls right now!
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302. He's a profiler for the FBI,
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303. which does fall under the umbrella
of law enforcement, but not a cop.
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304. It's similar, but it's not the same thing.
It's a complicated backstory.
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305. This is our good friend,
Special Agent John Hartley.
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306. Let's give him a warm welcome
to the prison, guys.
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307. Thank you, guys.
I don't think anyone heard me. We're good.
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308. All's quiet on the western front.
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309. - Nobody's… Oh, no.
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310. Yep.
Drago Grande heard. Here he comes.
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311. Okay, be cool.
Don't embarrass me.
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312. Hello, sir.
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313. Politsiya.
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314. You die.
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315. Okay, he knows.
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316. He knows you're a cop.
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317. The jig is up.
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318. It's okay.
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319. You can…
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320. You can have mine.
You need some nourishment.
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321. You should get up.
You look like a little bitch right now.
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322. I say that as a friend.
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323. Okay, look.
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324. I don't wanna do
the whole prison fight thing with you…
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325. You got this. I'm in your corner.
- So please, no fight.
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326. Let's just go back and finish our meals.
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327. - No. No—
Back to your cell!
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328. God…
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329. All that working out.
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330. You still get your ass spanked
by a toothless man with tuberculosis—
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331. Okay. Okay.
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332. If you ever pull shit like that again,
it'll be the last thing you do.
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333. Right.
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334. - You don't know me, Booth.
- No.
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335. You have no idea what I'm capable of.
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336. Okay. Thank God, you're here.
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337. The captain wants to see you.
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338. Let's go!
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339. Him?
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340. Oh, no, us. Okay.
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341. Hello, boys.
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342. Oh, my God.
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343. Wow.
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344. You're the captain?
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345. You might benefit
from a little career change.
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346. I mean, I'm… I don't think runway,
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347. but definitely
regional catalog work, fliers…
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348. She's The Bishop.
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349. No shit, dipdick!
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350. It's so nice to finally meet you,
Mr. Booth.
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351. Such a thrill to be face-to-face
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352. with the second-best art thief
in the world.
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353. Oh, I see what you did there.
That's…
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354. Yeah, you got lucky
a couple of times early on, you know?
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355. But you can't name one time
in the past year that you beat me.
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356. - Helsinki.
- My parachute failed.
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357. Jakarta.
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358. - My Segway sank.
- Macau.
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359. Nobody knew that Miley Cyrus
was going to be there.
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360. It was a completely unannounced show.
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361. You can have excuses or results.
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362. What are we doing here? What do you want?
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363. To have a chat.
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364. First of all, Agent Hartley,
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365. please accept my sincerest apologies
for the whole mix-up in Rome.
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366. You see, after I stole the egg in Bali,
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367. I then made an $8 million deposit
into an account registered in your name.
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368. Then, all I had to do was sit back
and wait for Das to take the bait.
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369. A few clever keystrokes
and a well-timed call intercept.
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370. FBI BAU Director's office.
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371. And poof.
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372. Bye-bye, Agent John Hartley.
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373. Hello, suspicious suspect.
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374. Funny, don't you think?
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375. Shut up. You deleted my life.
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376. And now I'm stuck in a cell
with this idiot.
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377. Well, down to business then.
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378. At the risk of stating the obvious,
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379. I have the first egg in my possession,
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380. and in less than 48 hours,
I'm gonna have the second one as well.
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381. But that leaves an issue. The final egg.
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382. Well, too bad for you.
Nobody knows where the third egg is.
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383. He didn't tell you?
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384. You didn't tell him?
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385. - Didn't tell me what?
- I don't know what she's talking about.
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386. Your cellmate here
knows exactly where the third egg is.
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387. She's lying. I do not know
where the third egg is. I swear to God.
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388. I know where the third egg is.
I swear to God.
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389. Yes, that is me. Scratch that.
That was me. I did say that.
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390. When were you gonna tell me
about the third egg?
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391. I was never gonna tell you
about the third egg because you're a cop.
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392. My offer to you, Mr. Booth, is this.
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393. Tell me where the third egg is,
I'll get you out of here and give you 10%.
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394. Rock-hard pass.
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395. I'm sorry we couldn't do business.
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396. Well, perhaps a few more days in here
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397. with the prospect
of thousands more to come
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398. will help change your mind.
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399. I'll stop by once I have the second egg.
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400. Oh, and when I do,
the offer's gonna be 5%.
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401. Thank you, Captain.
Labor detail for them both.
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402. Bye. Don't miss me too much.
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403. Ta-ta!
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404. Oh, hey, guys. Okay!
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405. If we work together to catch her,
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406. I can do things
to The Bishop you can't do.
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407. There's no need to be disgusting.
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408. Here we go. Three, two, one.
Lift with your neck.
Copy !req
409. I mean put her in prison. For life.
Copy !req
410. When that happens, guess who becomes
number one art thief in the world again?
Copy !req
411. Teamwork? It feels weird in my mouth.
Copy !req
412. Are you carrying your side?
Copy !req
413. - I'm offended you'd even ask me that.
Copy !req
414. - Do something. It's slipping.
- Oh, relax, baldylocks.
Copy !req
415. See? Teamwork.
Copy !req
416. Team. Team. Team.
It feels weird in my mouth.
Copy !req
417. It does.
Copy !req
418. Say what you will about Russian prisons,
the soap is incredible.
Copy !req
419. - Are we doing this together or not?
- No added chemicals or perfumes.
Copy !req
420. It's just pure
good ol' fashioned glycerin.
Copy !req
421. - Ooh. Smell it.
- I'm not gonna smell it.
Copy !req
422. Sotto Voce's masquerade ball
is tomorrow night,
Copy !req
423. which means, if we're gonna beat
The Bishop to the second egg,
Copy !req
424. we have to be on the other side
of these walls by tomorrow morning.
Copy !req
425. I already know how I'm gonna steal it.
Copy !req
426. It'll take adjustment now The Bishop'll
be there, but I'll beat her to the punch.
Copy !req
427. "I"? What about "we"?
Copy !req
428. Why are you wearing the hairnet?
You're bald.
Copy !req
429. Okay, fine. You can be my plus-one
to Sotto Voce's party.
Copy !req
430. Thanks. Clock's tickin'.
We gotta get outta here. What's the plan?
Copy !req
431. I'm working on it.
Copy !req
432. You're working on it?
You sound like you're working on it.
Copy !req
433. They say the most important part
of any plan is a good night's sleep.
Copy !req
434. Isn't the actual plan part
the most important part of the plan?
Copy !req
435. A lotta people make that mistake.
Copy !req
436. Back in Bali, that thing you said,
Copy !req
437. about me and my father, how'd you know?
Copy !req
438. I hate to break it to you,
but you're not a complex case.
Copy !req
439. The one thing
that doesn't quite line up for me is
Copy !req
440. how the son of a Swiss police captain
turns to a life of high crime.
Copy !req
441. Short version?
Copy !req
442. My father was a prolific asshole.
Copy !req
443. Long version?
Copy !req
444. When I was eight years old,
Copy !req
445. my dad thought I stole his watch.
Copy !req
446. He loved that piece of metal
more than anything.
Copy !req
447. He asked me if I stole it.
I told him I didn't.
Copy !req
448. He said he knew that I had
and that I was lying.
Copy !req
449. He didn't speak to me again after that.
Copy !req
450. Not on Christmas. Not on my birthday.
Copy !req
451. He went almost a full year,
just utter silence.
Copy !req
452. Like I didn't even exist.
Copy !req
453. Then one night, he…
Copy !req
454. He comes home
and he sits down at the dinner table…
Copy !req
455. And there it is.
Copy !req
456. There's the watch, the missing watch,
Copy !req
457. right there on his wrist.
Copy !req
458. Found out later that he put it
in his desk at work
Copy !req
459. and it got buried behind some papers
or something like that.
Copy !req
460. But he never apologized. He just, uh…
Copy !req
461. He just looked me in the eye
and said, "How was your day at school?"
Copy !req
462. Then he kept askin',
"How was your day at school?"
Copy !req
463. And I never answered him.
Copy !req
464. I just stared at him.
I didn't eat. I didn't drink.
Copy !req
465. Next week,
I found myself in boarding school.
Copy !req
466. Really?
Copy !req
467. I'm kidding.
Copy !req
468. Hey.
Copy !req
469. I'm sorry about all that.
Copy !req
470. Oh, no, no, no, no,
it's all right.
Copy !req
471. You learn a valuable lesson, you know?
Copy !req
472. It doesn't matter what you do,
Copy !req
473. only matters what they think you've done.
Copy !req
474. How about your old man?
Copy !req
475. I don't talk about him.
Copy !req
476. That bad, huh?
Copy !req
477. Good news.
Copy !req
478. I slept like a baby after
our little therapy session last night.
Copy !req
479. Better news,
Copy !req
480. I've got our escape plan
down to a simple three-step process.
Copy !req
481. All right, I'll bite.
What's the first step?
Copy !req
482. Create a distraction.
- With soap?
Copy !req
483. You know what happens
when you mix soap, which is pure glycerin,
Copy !req
484. with a cleaning solution
that's essentially nitric acid?
Copy !req
485. - You get nitroglycerin.
- You get nitroglycerin.
Copy !req
486. We should run.
Copy !req
487. Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go.
Copy !req
488. It's locked. We need a key card.
Copy !req
489. Step two, plan ahead.
Copy !req
490. - Where'd you get that?
- Nyet politsiya.
Copy !req
491. He's not a cop!
Copy !req
492. What's the plan— Son of a bitch!
Copy !req
493. What are you doing?
What's step three?
Copy !req
494. Step three…
Copy !req
495. Rock Jenga.
Copy !req
496. You first.
Copy !req
497. - Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Copy !req
498. Get back!
Copy !req
499. This way.
Copy !req
500. They're outside the walls.
Secure the perimeter.
Copy !req
501. Okay. Okay.
Copy !req
502. Can you fly a helicopter?
Copy !req
503. Does the back of your head
look like a huge penis?
Copy !req
504. The answer is yes!
Copy !req
505. Oh, that's fun. This is my best friend.
Copy !req
506. - We're not friends.
- We're best friends.
Copy !req
507. They're over here!
Go!
Copy !req
508. I can't believe nobody saw that.
Copy !req
509. Here they are! Fire!
Copy !req
510. Okay.
Copy !req
511. Oh.
Copy !req
512. That's in Russian.
Copy !req
513. Go, he just has a pistol!
Copy !req
514. The forklift!
Copy !req
515. Huh.
Copy !req
516. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
517. Son of a bitch.
Copy !req
518. Reload!
Copy !req
519. Shit.
Copy !req
520. Oh, you made it. Thank God!
Copy !req
521. I was praying for you.
Copy !req
522. Don't give me that shit.
You were gonna leave me?
Copy !req
523. You said, "Save yourself."
Copy !req
524. I said, "Go,"
but I didn't mean without me.
Copy !req
525. You said, "Go save yourself."
Copy !req
526. And I was gonna carry you with me
in my heart like an eternal flame,
Copy !req
527. you stupid complainer.
Copy !req
528. Why is that blinking?
Copy !req
529. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Copy !req
530. Ooh! Incoming!
Copy !req
531. See? Easy-peasy.
Copy !req
532. I know it sounds
like a tough childhood,
Copy !req
533. but my father made me who I am today.
Copy !req
534. Maybe that's my problem.
Copy !req
535. I'm so focused on winning all the time,
on being the best at what I do,
Copy !req
536. that I can never
just fully relax and just be.
Copy !req
537. Is that normal?
Copy !req
538. How the fuck would I know?
Copy !req
539. What?
Copy !req
540. I'm not a therapist.
I'm an intelligence analyst.
Copy !req
541. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
542. I'm just dealing
with a lot right now
Copy !req
543. and you seemed like
someone I could talk to.
Copy !req
544. And it's so rare in my line of work
Copy !req
545. to find someone
who's just there to listen.
Copy !req
546. Thank you.
Copy !req
547. Anyway, I'm sorry
to rope you into all of this,
Copy !req
548. but just using your terminal here
Copy !req
549. to ensure that the origin point
of my message is untraceable.
Copy !req
550. Best way to do it is
from within the system itself.
Copy !req
551. They should really work on
patching the security vulnerability.
Copy !req
552. It's embarrassing.
Copy !req
553. Did you know that 99%
of all tracking protocols
Copy !req
554. focus on third-party movements?
Copy !req
555. No one ever expects the call
to come from inside the house, as it were.
Copy !req
556. Hence, your computer, your office.
Copy !req
557. Oh. Here we go.
Copy !req
558. Just need to slow down my competition,
such as they are.
Copy !req
559. I'm afraid that's
all the time we have for today.
Copy !req
560. I'm gonna have to end our session here.
Have a lovely day.
Copy !req
561. Freeze!
Copy !req
562. See?
Copy !req
563. This is why we can't have nice things.
Copy !req
564. 'Cause the moment I trust someone,
they tap the foot alarm beneath their desk
Copy !req
565. and then I'm forced
to do things like this.
Copy !req
566. I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.
Copy !req
567. I really thought you were different.
Copy !req
568. Well, fool me once…
Copy !req
569. I'm gonna leave now and when he wakes up,
Copy !req
570. you're going to tell him
that you triggered the alarm falsely
Copy !req
571. and in his haste,
he tripped coming through the door.
Copy !req
572. And if you decide not to do that,
Copy !req
573. I want you to remember
one critically important thing.
Copy !req
574. I know everyone you work with
and every member of your family.
Copy !req
575. And I also know your browser history.
Copy !req
576. Nolan.
Copy !req
577. Tambwe! Come on, bring it in.
Copy !req
578. Oh.
Copy !req
579. I can't thank you enough for this.
Copy !req
580. I'm just glad
I could finally repay my debt to you.
Copy !req
581. And now I'm in yours.
Copy !req
582. - Come, everything is ready.
- Alright.
Copy !req
583. - I have juice boxes.
- That's very good.
Copy !req
584. Hey. Tambwe got us a costume change,
so we can get out of these filthy duds.
Copy !req
585. Oh. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
586. Tambwe, this is Agent John Hartley
Copy !req
587. of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
It's a funny story.
Copy !req
588. A lot of his colleagues have
put a lot of your colleagues in prison.
Copy !req
589. It's exciting.
Copy !req
590. No juice boxes for you.
Copy !req
591. Oh, I see.
Copy !req
592. Nice jacket, while I "Gotta dance."
Copy !req
593. All right, man.
Don't even start with me, okay?
Copy !req
594. At least you're comfortable.
Copy !req
595. Well, clearly you have
this whole thing figured out.
Copy !req
596. - You wanna walk me through it?
- I do. Here's the deal.
Copy !req
597. During the party,
Copy !req
598. the guests and the staff
are required to stay on the main floor,
Copy !req
599. and upstairs, the door to the egg room,
Copy !req
600. well, that's locked and heavily guarded.
Copy !req
601. But there's another way in.
Hidden entrance.
Copy !req
602. Here's what I'm thinkin'.
Copy !req
603. We dress up in matching black pajamas
Copy !req
604. and sneak past the featured extras
and into the bedroom.
Copy !req
605. Then, we slip through the study
and get our hands on his precious.
Copy !req
606. - Is that the egg?
Copy !req
607. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
608. - You are amazing.
- I know.
Copy !req
609. Wow.
Copy !req
610. - Hey, dickhead.
- Hmm?
Copy !req
611. Your last brilliant plan
had some kinks in it.
Copy !req
612. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
613. So, what kinda security surveillance
are we looking at?
Copy !req
614. Well, the guy's an arms dealer,
Copy !req
615. so, you know, every square inch
of this place is gonna be on lock.
Copy !req
616. Two-man guard teams at every access point
are signal rotated to keep them frosty.
Copy !req
617. Once they're on the move,
you only have 45 seconds until they land.
Copy !req
618. It's a pretty tight window.
Copy !req
619. The eyes and ears are
in a secure room in the west hall.
Copy !req
620. Eighty-seven motion-sensitive 8K cameras
with an overlapping field of vision,
Copy !req
621. so there are no natural blind spots.
Copy !req
622. They're always watching, always listening.
Copy !req
623. Kinda like Alexa but with guns.
Copy !req
624. Now, here's where
things get a little tricky.
Copy !req
625. The vault door to the egg room
is a military-grade,
Copy !req
626. biometric portal made out of
a foot and a half of solid titanium.
Copy !req
627. So you can't drill it
and you can't make it go boom.
Copy !req
628. The only way through it
is with facial and voice recognition.
Copy !req
629. And there's only one face
and one voice that opens it.
Copy !req
630. Sotto Voce.
Copy !req
631. How are we gonna get
his voice and his facial?
Copy !req
632. Well, first off,
a positive mental attitude helps.
Copy !req
633. But so does some pretty kick-ass
deepfake technology.
Copy !req
634. Spooky, right?
Copy !req
635. If you have
more than 12 images on the Internet,
Copy !req
636. I can send your mom
a video of you mouth-sexing a goat.
Copy !req
637. I'm not saying I'm gonna do that,
I'm just saying I could if I wanted to.
Copy !req
638. If I had enough time and enough pictures.
Copy !req
639. But wait, there's more.
Copy !req
640. There's also a 12-digit randomly-generated
passcode that's changed every six minutes,
Copy !req
641. and that code can only be found
in Sotto Voce's phone,
Copy !req
642. and Sotto Voce's phone can only be found
in Sotto Voce's pants.
Copy !req
643. So, yeah, easy-peasy.
Copy !req
644. Oh, no, no, no! There's one more thing.
Kinda important.
Copy !req
645. We're gonna need his thumbprint 'cause
he never upgraded his iPhone -4, so…
Copy !req
646. So if we don't get his thumbprint,
we can't get the egg.
Copy !req
647. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
648. You can learn. This is amazing.
Copy !req
649. You are not sparkly enough.
Copy !req
650. I'm gonna get you a matching vest
to go with those pants.
Copy !req
651. Check, check. Roger Dodger.
What's your 20, free bird?
Copy !req
652. You don't have to do that.
I'm standing right next to you.
Copy !req
653. I'm not used to using these stupid things,
Copy !req
654. and I'm not used
to working with a partner.
Copy !req
655. We're not partners.
This is a marriage of convenience.
Copy !req
656. I want a divorce
and I'm keeping the kids.
Copy !req
657. Let's just do this.
Copy !req
658. I'll get the thumbprint,
you get Sotto Voce's phone.
Copy !req
659. We've got a party crasher.
Copy !req
660. Yeah, it's no biggie. No biggie.
We knew she'd be here.
Copy !req
661. We're here for the egg, not her.
Copy !req
662. Speak for yourself. I'm going in.
Copy !req
663. What are you doing?
That's not part of the plan.
Copy !req
664. Plans change.
Copy !req
665. Beautiful.
Copy !req
666. The sculpture, I mean.
Copy !req
667. I'm sorry, do we know each other?
Copy !req
668. It's just impossible for me
to tell who you are with that mask on.
Copy !req
669. - How about now?
Copy !req
670. Agent Hartley!
Copy !req
671. So it was you all along.
Copy !req
672. Such a clever disguise.
Copy !req
673. Well, I suppose you and Mr. Booth,
wherever he is,
Copy !req
674. are here to try to beat me
to the second egg.
Copy !req
675. - Even the playing field.
- Don't tell her anything.
Copy !req
676. I'm not here for the egg.
I'm here to clear my name,
Copy !req
677. which means all I need is you.
Copy !req
678. You're literally telling her everything.
Copy !req
679. We both know that this whole thing
is gonna end with you in handcuffs.
Copy !req
680. Promises, promises.
Copy !req
681. Careful now. We don't wanna cause a scene.
Copy !req
682. Don't care.
I'm not letting you out of my sight.
Copy !req
683. Oh, good, you're dancing with her.
Copy !req
684. Not bad for a convict.
Copy !req
685. Speaking of which,
how's it going with your partner in crime?
Copy !req
686. Has he told you
where the third egg is yet?
Copy !req
687. Well, if he did, I wouldn't tell you.
Copy !req
688. That's a no. He must not trust you.
Copy !req
689. You trust your partner?
Copy !req
690. What makes you think I have one?
Copy !req
691. Well, no one would be able to pull off
the scores you have alone.
Copy !req
692. It's impossible.
Copy !req
693. So what now?
Copy !req
694. You're gonna arrest me right here,
Copy !req
695. without a badge or a gun,
outside of your jurisdiction,
Copy !req
696. and in front of a room full of criminals?
Copy !req
697. Is that your plan, Agent Hartley?
Copy !req
698. Shit!
Copy !req
699. Incoming! Got the print.
Get the hell out of there.
Copy !req
700. Or perhaps you just
didn't think this all the way through.
Copy !req
701. You're coming with me. Party's over.
Copy !req
702. Watching you dance with this man
at my party has made me quite jealous.
Copy !req
703. Well, I had to get your attention somehow.
Copy !req
704. Didn't I?
Copy !req
705. May I?
Copy !req
706. Like you said, it's your party.
Copy !req
707. Apologies.
Copy !req
708. We needed to get his phone,
Copy !req
709. not waste time
playing footsie with The Bishop.
Copy !req
710. Don't worry. I got it.
Copy !req
711. Excuse me.
Copy !req
712. You're kidding. Nice pull!
Copy !req
713. How'd you know Sotto Voce would cut in?
Copy !req
714. Well, Sotto Voce is a 5'5" alpha male
with textbook Napoleon complex.
Copy !req
715. So any time another male dances with
the most desirable woman at his party,
Copy !req
716. well, he has no choice
but to step in and assert his dominance.
Copy !req
717. You sneaky little minx.
Copy !req
718. Where'd you learn that? Profiler school?
Copy !req
719. High school.
Copy !req
720. Ladies and gentlemen,
Copy !req
721. it is my sincere pleasure
to welcome you all to my humble home.
Copy !req
722. - Now's the time. He's speechifying.
Copy !req
723. My father
was a man of conviction…
Copy !req
724. Moving to two.
Copy !req
725. Oh! Terribly, terribly sorry, sir.
Copy !req
726. You imbecile!
Copy !req
727. - Oh…
- Don't put your hands on me, peasant.
Copy !req
728. I'm so sorry, sir.
A thousand apologies.
Copy !req
729. I don't need your apologies,
I need a washroom.
Copy !req
730. Take him.
Copy !req
731. Right this way, sir.
Copy !req
732. Let's get you hosed down.
Copy !req
733. This pistol
was my father's prized possession.
Copy !req
734. I've kept it close to my heart
since the day I killed him with it.
Copy !req
735. I was never permitted
to touch this as a boy.
Copy !req
736. Right this way.
Copy !req
737. It's just like the one
used by the Lone Ranger.
Copy !req
738. Hey.
Copy !req
739. What's going on there?
Copy !req
740. Someone spilled wine on a guest.
They're cleared.
Copy !req
741. Something's off. I'm calling it in anyway.
Copy !req
742. Don't be an idiot.
You read too many spy novels.
Copy !req
743. I miss you every day, Pop-Pop.
Copy !req
744. And in his immortal words,
Copy !req
745. "The skilled hunter needs but one bullet."
Copy !req
746. Bravo!
- Enjoy your evening.
Copy !req
747. No, no, no, no, no.
Copy !req
748. We gotta go.
Copy !req
749. Here we go, nice and easy.
Copy !req
750. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
751. You're like a well-dressed wall.
Copy !req
752. What are you doing?
Copy !req
753. Trying to ruin the mission.
Copy !req
754. Well, mission accomplished.
Find the print.
Copy !req
755. God damn it!
Copy !req
756. Come on, come on, come on,
you little bastard. Where are you?
Copy !req
757. Shit!
Copy !req
758. Gotcha.
Copy !req
759. Phone, phone, phone, phone.
Copy !req
760. Okay, it's deepfake time.
Copy !req
761. Sotto Voce.
Copy !req
762. Right.
Copy !req
763. I thought
Mr. Voce was still at the party?
Copy !req
764. Send a team.
Copy !req
765. Security, we have a code red.
Copy !req
766. Hey!
Copy !req
767. You know,
for a guy who claims he's innocent,
Copy !req
768. you sure do hang around
with a lot of criminals.
Copy !req
769. I am innocent.
Copy !req
770. He's a pretty damn good thief
for his first time.
Copy !req
771. - I'm not good at it.
You are.
Copy !req
772. - Don't say that.
- Don't sell yourself short.
Copy !req
773. - Shut up.
- Hector Deflector over here.
Copy !req
774. He's not good at taking a compliment.
Copy !req
775. I need you to understand,
The Bishop is behind this entire thing.
Copy !req
776. She set me up.
Copy !req
777. Well, if this is all The Bishop's doing
and you really are innocent, prove it.
Copy !req
778. Go on, detain your friend.
Copy !req
779. We're not friends.
Copy !req
780. - We're work wives.
- We're not work wives.
Copy !req
781. - We're sister wives.
- We're not any kind of wives.
Copy !req
782. Shut up! Both of you.
Copy !req
783. You either arrest him
or I arrest you both.
Copy !req
784. What's it gonna be, Agent Hartley?
Copy !req
785. - I'm sorry, man.
- Oh…
Copy !req
786. Oh, come on!
Copy !req
787. - You're under arrest.
- You're gonna listen?
Copy !req
788. After all we've been through together…
Copy !req
789. You love me?
Copy !req
790. I hate you.
Copy !req
791. Tight enough? Jesus!
See?
Copy !req
792. I'm a good guy.
Copy !req
793. But sometimes I do bad things.
Copy !req
794. - Hartley!
- Let's grab that egg and get out of here.
Copy !req
795. You don't wanna talk
about what just happened?
Copy !req
796. - What you talking about?
- We had a moment.
Copy !req
797. - We didn't have a moment.
- No, we had a moment.
Copy !req
798. Looking for something specific
or just browsing?
Copy !req
799. You look awful.
Copy !req
800. Hmm. You know, there was an easier way in,
Copy !req
801. but I doubt very much
that you could've managed it.
Copy !req
802. Now that I have two out of the three eggs,
Copy !req
803. I'll give you one last chance
to take me up on my offer.
Copy !req
804. - Well, here's my counteroffer.
Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
805. - You're under arrest.
- Oh, my God.
Copy !req
806. Read the room.
Copy !req
807. I told you, this would end
with you in handcuffs.
Copy !req
808. You're so embarrassing.
He's so embarrassing.
Copy !req
809. Tell you what, Agent Hartley.
Copy !req
810. You wanna arrest me?
Copy !req
811. Come…
Copy !req
812. Arrest me.
Copy !req
813. I just want the egg. So, uh—
Copy !req
814. Take it easy.
Copy !req
815. This is easy.
Copy !req
816. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Copy !req
817. Sir, we have a problem in the vault room.
Copy !req
818. Excuse me.
Copy !req
819. Bro, I didn't…
I didn't see the handcuffs coming.
Copy !req
820. Mm, was a nice touch.
Copy !req
821. God, this is such a confusing erection.
Copy !req
822. You can't ever tell anybody about this.
Copy !req
823. I'll never tell anybody. Promise.
Okay.
Copy !req
824. Okay.
Copy !req
825. Oh, whoa, hold on, hold on.
No, don't shoot.
Copy !req
826. I'm not trying to be a tattletale.
We didn't steal your egg, okay?
Copy !req
827. I mean, we tried.
Copy !req
828. But she got it.
Copy !req
829. He's telling you the truth.
Copy !req
830. Is that so?
Copy !req
831. Thank you. Oh. All right.
Copy !req
832. Would you like to make
a confession, my lady?
Copy !req
833. It's a pleasure doing business with you.
Copy !req
834. I told you they'd come.
Copy !req
835. Oh, ho, ho, ho.
Copy !req
836. What the f—
Copy !req
837. Good morning, gentlemen.
Copy !req
838. Down here, beneath the bulls,
no one will hear your screams.
Copy !req
839. That's called foreshadowing.
Copy !req
840. - I know what it's called.
- Was making sure.
Copy !req
841. You don't look like an English major.
Copy !req
842. - Shut up.
- Buongiorno, everybody!
Copy !req
843. - Perfect!
- [sing-song] I brought champagne.
Copy !req
844. I would introduce you,
but I believe you've already met
Copy !req
845. my lovely business associate.
Copy !req
846. Yes.
Copy !req
847. I told you The Bishop
was working with somebody.
Copy !req
848. It's a marriage of convenience.
Copy !req
849. You're familiar with that concept,
aren't you?
Copy !req
850. You see, the dashing Mr. Voce here
Copy !req
851. already held the second egg
in his possession.
Copy !req
852. So, I approached him with my own offer,
Copy !req
853. which brings us to the part
Copy !req
854. where you tell us where the third egg is.
Copy !req
855. Piss off for a thousand years.
Copy !req
856. Oh, bummer.
I really wanted to do it the easy way.
Copy !req
857. That's okay. I'll get the information
from you by hurting him.
Copy !req
858. I'm sorry, what?
Copy !req
859. I love this plan.
Copy !req
860. You two share a special bond.
Copy !req
861. Otherwise, why would you
risk your lives together
Copy !req
862. attempting to steal the egg?
Copy !req
863. Isn't that right, Agent Hartley?
Copy !req
864. There is no bond between us.
I barely know the guy.
Copy !req
865. Booth, tell her we're not friends.
Copy !req
866. - She knows about us, pal.
- That's bullshit.
Copy !req
867. She knows about our special bond,
that you were my best man.
Copy !req
868. Son of a bitch. He's lying.
Copy !req
869. If she hurts you bad enough,
if she gets really creative with it,
Copy !req
870. I'm gonna have no choice
but to tell her everything.
Copy !req
871. Now, Mr. Booth, where is the third egg?
Copy !req
872. Okay, here I go.
Copy !req
873. No, don't. Wait.
Copy !req
874. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
875. Well…
Copy !req
876. No.
Copy !req
877. I guess now we find out what kind
of friend you really are, Mr. Booth,
Copy !req
878. because we're gonna go
to my favorite place.
Copy !req
879. No.
Copy !req
880. No. Don't—
Copy !req
881. Enough games, my love.
Copy !req
882. If you want to make him talk,
this is how you get him to talk.
Copy !req
883. Why is your shirt off?
Copy !req
884. - Why is his shirt off?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
885. Sometimes the old ways are the best.
Excuse me, darling.
Copy !req
886. There, there, Special Agent Hartley.
Copy !req
887. Look! Look at your friend.
Copy !req
888. - The egg. Now!
Copy !req
889. Booth, please.
Copy !req
890. Okay, stop, stop.
I'll tell you, all right?
Copy !req
891. - It's in Egypt.
Where in Egypt?
Copy !req
892. There's a hidden chamber
in the Great Pyramid.
Copy !req
893. Lidar discovered it a year ago.
They haven't opened it yet.
Copy !req
894. - How do you know the egg is there?
- My mother was an Egyptologist.
Copy !req
895. I could read hieroglyphics
before I could read English.
Copy !req
896. That hidden chamber
Copy !req
897. is the secret tomb of Cleopatra.
Copy !req
898. They buried the third egg there
when the other two went missing.
Copy !req
899. The scans show it
sitting there plain as day.
Copy !req
900. The third egg never left Egypt.
Copy !req
901. He's not lying. I read about the chamber.
Copy !req
902. Was that so hard?
Copy !req
903. - Shall we celebrate?
Copy !req
904. To the end of our business.
Copy !req
905. And the beginning of our pleasure.
Copy !req
906. - I mean…
- Oh, come on.
Copy !req
907. You didn't see that coming, amateur hour?
Copy !req
908. Guard!
Copy !req
909. I don't know what happened.
We were just having a glass of champagne
Copy !req
910. - when all of the sudden he fell.
Copy !req
911. And scene.
Copy !req
912. Long con?
Copy !req
913. Long con.
Copy !req
914. You know, lady,
I'm really starting to not like you.
Copy !req
915. Now I'd really love to stay and see
how this whole thing turns out,
Copy !req
916. but I'm late for a date
with a very large pyramid.
Copy !req
917. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Copy !req
918. So exciting!
Copy !req
919. She's a good singer.
Copy !req
920. You should have took that deal
when she offered it to you in prison.
Copy !req
921. Well, you shouldn't have
got us caught by her boyfriend.
Copy !req
922. Oh, how did I get us caught
by her boyfriend?
Copy !req
923. Well, if you don't know that,
then you really are dumber than I look.
Copy !req
924. Jesus! That's really scary.
Copy !req
925. [Booth, distorted] Oh, you look busted.
You look like a zombie.
Copy !req
926. You did this.
Copy !req
927. This is your fault. She was mine.
Copy !req
928. Honey, honey, honey,
homegirl is a hard ten.
Copy !req
929. And you look like…
Copy !req
930. Like a muscular toddler.
Copy !req
931. I don't think it was gonna work.
Copy !req
932. - The height difference and…
- Oh, shit.
Copy !req
933. Whoa, whoa. Hold on.
Copy !req
934. Let's talk about this.
Copy !req
935. - John, you hit?
No, surprisingly not.
Copy !req
936. What? How is that possible?
Copy !req
937. How did you get free?
Copy !req
938. - He shot the cuff.
- He hit something?
Copy !req
939. Lucky shot.
Copy !req
940. We're gonna get out of here.
Copy !req
941. We're really gonna do it.
Copy !req
942. Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, where are you goin'? We're partners.
Copy !req
943. Oh, we're partners now?
No, our partnership ended
Copy !req
944. when you let The Bishop
go all shock therapy on me.
Copy !req
945. You're not gonna find The Bishop.
Not without me.
Copy !req
946. I got a pretty good idea
where she's going because of you.
Copy !req
947. - So, goodbye.
- I lied.
Copy !req
948. - I lied.
- What do you mean, "you lied"?
Copy !req
949. I lied about everything.
All of it. That whole thing.
Copy !req
950. I lied to you, I lied to her,
I lied to Baby Jesus.
Copy !req
951. All of 'em.
Copy !req
952. Look, the point is,
is that the third egg isn't in Egypt.
Copy !req
953. Right. I don't give a shit about the egg.
Copy !req
954. I care about arresting The Bishop
and clearing my name.
Copy !req
955. Right. But you won't get to The Bishop
unless you get to the egg.
Copy !req
956. And I know where the egg is.
Copy !req
957. Just get me out of here.
Copy !req
958. I'll get the egg
and you'll get The Bishop.
Copy !req
959. Come on!
Copy !req
960. Pretty please?
Copy !req
961. Thoughts?
Copy !req
962. You hear that?
Copy !req
963. Hey, hey, hey.
Copy !req
964. Up here.
Copy !req
965. We'll disappear into the crowd.
We'll be home free.
Copy !req
966. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
967. I think we're gonna get out of here.
Copy !req
968. Shit!
Copy !req
969. - No, no. Don't move. Don't move.
- Why?
Copy !req
970. Bulls have terrible eyesight.
But they can sense motion.
Copy !req
971. You're thinking of Jurassic Park.
Copy !req
972. No! I saw a nature documentary
starring David Attenborough.
Copy !req
973. You're thinking of Richard Attenborough
from Jurassic Park.
Copy !req
974. Vámonos. Vámonos.
They're telling me to run.
Copy !req
975. If you run, you die.
Copy !req
976. All right, yes or no,
was Jeff Goldblum in it?
Copy !req
977. Oh, my God! It was Jurassic Park.
That's Jeff Goldblum.
Copy !req
978. Asshole!
Copy !req
979. Run, run, run, run, run
or you will die!
Copy !req
980. A-ha—
Copy !req
981. Ah.
Copy !req
982. Thank you!
Copy !req
983. What's your problem?
Copy !req
984. Don't run?
Copy !req
985. Don't run?
Copy !req
986. You gonna be
this grumpy the whole trip?
Copy !req
987. Wait till you see our ride.
You're gonna love it.
Copy !req
988. This is fun, isn't it?
Copy !req
989. Riding the rails hobo-style.
Copy !req
990. You ever see, um, uh, Sullivan's Travels?
Copy !req
991. No, I haven't.
Copy !req
992. And no, it's not, all right? Cough it up.
Copy !req
993. Where are we headed?
Where's the third egg?
Copy !req
994. All right, fine.
Copy !req
995. I've been thinking about this a lot,
and I can't tell you.
Copy !req
996. What do you mean, you can't tell me?
Copy !req
997. It's not so much of a "can't,"
it's more of a "won't."
Copy !req
998. Take me to the third egg, Booth.
Copy !req
999. You wanna do it?
Copy !req
1000. Do it.
Copy !req
1001. You can't, can you?
Copy !req
1002. 'Cause even though you're
running around with me, playing the thief,
Copy !req
1003. you're not a real bad guy, Bubba.
Copy !req
1004. Let's get something straight right now.
Copy !req
1005. That was terrifying.
Copy !req
1006. Look, it's not that
I don't care about you.
Copy !req
1007. It's that I don't care about anyone.
Copy !req
1008. My dad was a crook.
Copy !req
1009. A con man, actually.
Copy !req
1010. He was the best.
Copy !req
1011. Then on my 13th birthday,
he didn't show up.
Copy !req
1012. My mom and I never saw him again.
Copy !req
1013. Wow.
Copy !req
1014. We really got some dads, huh?
Copy !req
1015. It's a miracle we're not both strippers.
Copy !req
1016. Yeah.
Copy !req
1017. Look, your dad was a cop,
so you became a crook.
Copy !req
1018. My dad was a crook, so I became a cop.
Copy !req
1019. We're not that different.
Copy !req
1020. I'm not asking you
to care about me, Booth.
Copy !req
1021. I'm asking you to help me.
Copy !req
1022. Help me catch The Bishop
and clear my name,
Copy !req
1023. and I will help you become the number one
art thief in the world again.
Copy !req
1024. It's the only chance I have
to get my life back.
Copy !req
1025. Please.
Copy !req
1026. April, 1945.
Copy !req
1027. The Red Army's at the gate,
days from taking Berlin.
Copy !req
1028. It's game over for the Nazis,
Copy !req
1029. and that's when a forgotten Mr. Nobody
named Rudolph Zeich,
Copy !req
1030. Hitler's personal
art and antiquities dealer,
Copy !req
1031. and the only man ever rumored
to have held Cleopatra's third egg
Copy !req
1032. in his hands,
Copy !req
1033. hopped a steamer ship
and fled Germany for Argentina.
Copy !req
1034. The manifest shows
he traveled with just a single suitcase.
Copy !req
1035. Oh, and sixteen five-ton cargo containers
logged only as holding machine parts.
Copy !req
1036. Now, why would an art dealer
leave his patron's side
Copy !req
1037. and travel halfway around the globe,
Copy !req
1038. with nearly 100 tons
of so-called machine parts?
Copy !req
1039. For 70 years,
amateur sleuths, treasure hunters,
Copy !req
1040. and adult virgins everywhere
became obsessed with this question,
Copy !req
1041. obsessed with finding what they believed
had to be Hitler's lost bunker,
Copy !req
1042. hidden somewhere in South America.
Copy !req
1043. And my dad was one of them.
Copy !req
1044. He'd spend weekends
holed up in his office,
Copy !req
1045. poring over old maps
and declassified files.
Copy !req
1046. Holidays, he'd drive hours away
to obscure auctions,
Copy !req
1047. where he'd bid on the strangest things.
Copy !req
1048. Including a watch.
Copy !req
1049. And not just any watch.
Creepy Nazi art guy Rudolph Zeich's watch.
Copy !req
1050. That same watch
my father chose to love more than me.
Copy !req
1051. What a dick.
Copy !req
1052. Never wanted anything to do
with his treasure hunt,
Copy !req
1053. even after he passed.
Copy !req
1054. That was my father's thing,
and he could have it.
Copy !req
1055. But when I discovered what was inside it,
Copy !req
1056. I knew right then that I held in my hand
Copy !req
1057. the secret to the third egg's location.
Copy !req
1058. Booth,
you've had me traveling for three days
Copy !req
1059. and hiking in circles for eight hours.
Copy !req
1060. That map better be right.
Copy !req
1061. Relax, we'll find it.
Copy !req
1062. Say we find it.
Copy !req
1063. How can you be sure
the egg is actually there?
Copy !req
1064. What do you mean?
- I get that Rudolph the red-nosed Nazi guy
Copy !req
1065. is rumored to be the last person
to ever hold the egg in his hands,
Copy !req
1066. and that this mystery bunker is rumored
to have all this stolen treasure.
Copy !req
1067. How can you be sure
the third egg itself is actually there?
Copy !req
1068. Faith.
Copy !req
1069. Faith?
Copy !req
1070. I'm sorry, I just wanna be clear.
Copy !req
1071. So we're out in the middle of nowhere
based on faith?
Copy !req
1072. Or "gut vibe" if you're
not into the whole religious thing.
Copy !req
1073. No.
Copy !req
1074. You know, the kinda thing I'm into
is a good plan.
Copy !req
1075. A smart plan, the opposite of this.
Copy !req
1076. Relax. I have good news.
If I'm reading this map right…
Copy !req
1077. We're here.
Copy !req
1078. - We're where?
- We've arrived.
Copy !req
1079. X marks the spot.
Copy !req
1080. X… What spot? X marks the spot.
Copy !req
1081. We're here. Here it is. Great job!
Copy !req
1082. - Please don't yell at me.
- You found it! Booth found it.
Copy !req
1083. There's no bunker. There's shit here.
Copy !req
1084. - I'm just telling you what the map says.
- There's no bunker.
Copy !req
1085. Tell me, what does the map say?
Copy !req
1086. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1087. Yeah, it's gonna be a long walk back.
Copy !req
1088. You know what I blame?
I blame the compass.
Copy !req
1089. I got this thing back in Scouts.
It's been a little wonky.
Copy !req
1090. It was never my strong suit.
Copy !req
1091. - Can I see this?
- Absolutely.
Copy !req
1092. - Can I see this?
- Of course.
Copy !req
1093. I see what the problem is.
Copy !req
1094. - That's the problem.
- Oh. That is not kind.
Copy !req
1095. You know what's not kind?
Dragging me out in the middle of nowhere,
Copy !req
1096. halfway around the world,
based on a goddamn hunch!
Copy !req
1097. Holy shit!
Copy !req
1098. Guess they're paying the utilities.
Copy !req
1099. It's gotta be hydroelectric power,
Copy !req
1100. which means there's
running water somewhere down here.
Copy !req
1101. Look at that door.
Nothing hiding behind there.
Copy !req
1102. How are we gonna get through this?
Copy !req
1103. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1104. You have got to be kidding.
Copy !req
1105. Is that your father's watch?
Copy !req
1106. No. It's the watch from Pulp Fiction.
Copy !req
1107. Yes, it's my father's watch.
Copy !req
1108. - I thought you said you smashed it.
- I had it repaired. Is that a problem?
Copy !req
1109. No, it's not a problem.
Glad you're not touchy about it.
Copy !req
1110. Please shut up.
Copy !req
1111. Uh, fun with magnets. All right.
Copy !req
1112. Dad…
Copy !req
1113. Please be good crazy.
Copy !req
1114. Forget the egg,
let's just steal this stuff.
Copy !req
1115. We're not here to steal anything.
Copy !req
1116. Uh, actually we are.
We're here to steal the egg.
Copy !req
1117. You know what I mean.
Copy !req
1118. Oh, I steal it, it's stealing,
and you steal it, it's what?
Copy !req
1119. How about we just shut up?
And by we, I mean you.
Copy !req
1120. You're also rude too.
Copy !req
1121. Rude to boot.
Copy !req
1122. How are we gonna find this egg?
Copy !req
1123. I don't know.
Copy !req
1124. Look for a box that says "MacGuffin."
Copy !req
1125. Oh!
Copy !req
1126. Do you know what this is?
Copy !req
1127. This is…
Copy !req
1128. Yes, this is
a 1931 Mercedes-Benz Grosser 770.
Copy !req
1129. I could flip this for $25 million, easy.
Copy !req
1130. There's, like, three of these left
on the planet. Four!
Copy !req
1131. There's four now.
Copy !req
1132. Three quarter-inch steel,
Copy !req
1133. reinforced armor-plating,
bullet-resistant glass,
Copy !req
1134. and a 24-karat gold inlay.
Copy !req
1135. This is a convertible tank.
Copy !req
1136. And it's in mint condition.
I bet you this thing still runs.
Copy !req
1137. Too bad it was driven by Nazi scum.
Copy !req
1138. It's a shame we're gonna have to burn it.
Copy !req
1139. How did they get it down here anyway?
Copy !req
1140. They carry it down the stairs
in tiny pieces and reassemble?
Copy !req
1141. Through there.
Copy !req
1142. Place must have been built off
one of those old copper mines.
Copy !req
1143. The shafts down here are massive
and go on for miles.
Copy !req
1144. Build the bunker, bring in the loot,
seal the shaft…
Copy !req
1145. Bob's your uncle.
Copy !req
1146. Who's your daddy?
Copy !req
1147. That's not how it goes.
Copy !req
1148. I know.
Copy !req
1149. Well, labels, Nazis, dum-dums.
Copy !req
1150. Five-second rule.
Copy !req
1151. It's fine. Totally fine.
Not a scratch on it.
Copy !req
1152. Are you sure you don't wanna
flip this one? I got a guy.
Copy !req
1153. Let me save you the trouble.
Copy !req
1154. Your entrances are bullshit.
Copy !req
1155. Egypt?
Copy !req
1156. Did you really think I ran right off
to the pyramids on your good word?
Copy !req
1157. All I had to do was wait for you two
to escape from Sotto Voce,
Copy !req
1158. and you led me right to the third egg,
Copy !req
1159. which I'm going to take from you now.
Copy !req
1160. So, uh, hand it over.
Copy !req
1161. Come on, don't be shy.
Copy !req
1162. Good job. Attaboy.
Copy !req
1163. Drop your weapon!
Copy !req
1164. This way! On that side.
Copy !req
1165. How did she find us?
Copy !req
1166. I followed you. She must have followed me.
Copy !req
1167. No shit!
Copy !req
1168. Why are you shooting at them?
I thought you were on their side.
Copy !req
1169. I am on their side. They shot at me first.
Copy !req
1170. How are we gonna get out of here?
Copy !req
1171. We take that.
Copy !req
1172. I don't think that's
gonna make it up the stairs.
Copy !req
1173. - It ain't going up the stairs.
Copy !req
1174. Cover us.
Copy !req
1175. - Go, go, go!
- I'm trying!
Copy !req
1176. Let's go.
Copy !req
1177. - Huh? Ha-ha!
Copy !req
1178. Let's go!
Copy !req
1179. - Throw it.
- What?
Copy !req
1180. Now!
Copy !req
1181. You two with me, the rest of you follow.
Copy !req
1182. Go!
Copy !req
1183. I'm all out.
Copy !req
1184. Pull over!
Copy !req
1185. Whoa!
Copy !req
1186. Bishop, the egg!
Copy !req
1187. You saved me.
Copy !req
1188. You love me. You love me like crazy.
Copy !req
1189. - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Shit!
Copy !req
1190. We're running out of road.
Copy !req
1191. Hold on to something!
If we stop, they'll catch us.
Copy !req
1192. Then let's get caught.
Copy !req
1193. We can escape later.
It works for me all the time.
Copy !req
1194. Make sure to kick clear of the car.
Copy !req
1195. - I would like to workshop this idea.
- Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1196. It's just like we drew it up, right?
Copy !req
1197. Hartley?
Copy !req
1198. Hartley?
Copy !req
1199. Hartley?
Copy !req
1200. You will be missed.
Copy !req
1201. Oh, shit! God damn it.
Copy !req
1202. Hartley?
Copy !req
1203. Hartley? Hartley?
Copy !req
1204. Hey, where are you, you big idiot?
Copy !req
1205. Who are you calling an idiot?
Copy !req
1206. I'm right here.
Copy !req
1207. - Did you just choose me over the egg?
- No.
Copy !req
1208. - Well, it kinda looks like you did.
- I didn't.
Copy !req
1209. You went running in there to rescue me.
Copy !req
1210. I left my phone in there.
Copy !req
1211. You only have
a finite amount of time to save it.
Copy !req
1212. Stick it in a bag of rice,
it's a whole thing.
Copy !req
1213. You thought I was dead.
Copy !req
1214. I didn't think you were dead.
I wished you were dead.
Copy !req
1215. I saw you splashing around.
"Hartley! Hartley!"
Copy !req
1216. Yes, okay, I wanted to pull you out,
Copy !req
1217. save you, get your hopes up,
and then pull you, shove you under.
Copy !req
1218. Look, I'm not gonna
make a big deal out of this.
Copy !req
1219. I'm not gonna gloat. It's not who I am.
Copy !req
1220. Would some people say
that this is very embarrassing for you?
Copy !req
1221. Yes, of course. Of course they would.
Copy !req
1222. Probably everybody.
Copy !req
1223. But that's not important right now.
Copy !req
1224. What's important is that
you realize you lost and I won.
Copy !req
1225. We.
Copy !req
1226. We won. Together. Friendship. Teamwork.
Copy !req
1227. It's called the moral of the story.
Copy !req
1228. And something that I've been
wanting to say for years
Copy !req
1229. to your face is…
Copy !req
1230. Checkmate.
Copy !req
1231. Oh, that feels good.
Copy !req
1232. I've got two eggs, you've got one,
and you think you won?
Copy !req
1233. How's that work exactly?
Copy !req
1234. I don't have to win
in order for you to lose.
Copy !req
1235. That's the best part of this whole thing.
Copy !req
1236. As long as I have the third egg,
you can't win.
Copy !req
1237. I don't care about the money anymore.
Copy !req
1238. Honestly, look at your face right now.
Copy !req
1239. That face right there.
Just… Yeah. Perfect.
Copy !req
1240. Resting failure face.
I mean, in a word, priceless.
Copy !req
1241. Also, it just gets better.
Copy !req
1242. As an added bonus,
my friend here, at no extra charge,
Copy !req
1243. is gonna give you
a lifetime supply of prison.
Copy !req
1244. So… That's-a nice.
Copy !req
1245. - Stand up.
- Stand up.
Copy !req
1246. Told you how this was gonna end.
Copy !req
1247. You're right. I am the bad guy.
Copy !req
1248. I know how a confidence scheme works,
trust me.
Copy !req
1249. You don't know me, Booth.
Copy !req
1250. You have no idea what I'm capable of.
Copy !req
1251. What the fuck?
Copy !req
1252. Look at him.
Copy !req
1253. Resting failure face. Priceless.
Copy !req
1254. This whole time you were working for her?
Copy !req
1255. Not for, with.
Copy !req
1256. - Like partners.
- Yeah, we're both The Bishop.
Copy !req
1257. Has he told you
where the third egg is yet?
Copy !req
1258. - I love you.
- I love you too.
Copy !req
1259. - Ready?
- Yep.
Copy !req
1260. Surprise!
Copy !req
1261. There are two bishops in chess.
Copy !req
1262. - And a whole lotta pawns.
- Hmm.
Copy !req
1263. I passed the first egg
on to her in Bali.
Copy !req
1264. She took the second egg from Sotto Voce.
Copy !req
1265. And the third egg, well,
the only way for us to get our hands on it
Copy !req
1266. was if you led us right to it,
which you did.
Copy !req
1267. I thought for sure
you were gonna see through my
Copy !req
1268. "We're not partners,
I gotta clear my name,
Copy !req
1269. I'm Johnny Law, blah, blah, blah."
Copy !req
1270. To be honest, I thought
I laid it on too thick in the prison.
Copy !req
1271. - No, honey, you were so good.
- No? Really?
Copy !req
1272. Appreciate that. What'd you think?
You think it was too much?
Copy !req
1273. I have notes. Otherwise, pretty good.
Copy !req
1274. "Pretty good"? All right.
Copy !req
1275. Let's just rewind for one second here.
Copy !req
1276. You electrocuted him. You went "Downtown."
Copy !req
1277. Yes. By the way, that hurt like hell.
Copy !req
1278. I know. I'm so sorry. I had to.
Copy !req
1279. No.
Copy !req
1280. It was the only way I could
pass you a key to slip the cuffs.
Copy !req
1281. How did you get free?
Copy !req
1282. Well, anyhoo, the egg.
Copy !req
1283. The egg.
Copy !req
1284. That gun is soaking wet. There's no way—
Copy !req
1285. I'm not a Navy SEAL.
Copy !req
1286. Third egg.
Copy !req
1287. - Thank you.
- Let's take a walk.
Copy !req
1288. So it was all a lie?
Even the sob story about your dad?
Copy !req
1289. No. My dad was a con man, and I hated him.
Copy !req
1290. So I decided to become better
than he ever was.
Copy !req
1291. Beat him at his own game.
Copy !req
1292. Booth, don't be too hard on yourself.
Copy !req
1293. You're good,
really good, better than most.
Copy !req
1294. We got nothing but respect for you.
Copy !req
1295. Better luck next time.
Copy !req
1296. We'd love to stay and chat,
but we have an important wedding to attend
Copy !req
1297. and it turns out,
we have the perfect gift.
Copy !req
1298. No hard feelings, pal.
Copy !req
1299. It's what we do.
Copy !req
1300. None taken. Super fun time, guys.
Copy !req
1301. See, I always appreciate
a quality double-cross.
Copy !req
1302. Serious question though,
you guys have any sunblock?
Copy !req
1303. I have no base. This is a spray tan.
Copy !req
1304. A beautiful event like tonight
happens only once in a father's life.
Copy !req
1305. That is why when I arranged
for my only daughter to marry,
Copy !req
1306. I spared no expense
to acquire a gift unlike any other.
Copy !req
1307. A gift fit for a queen,
Copy !req
1308. my Cleopatra.
Copy !req
1309. Behold,
for the first time in two millennia,
Copy !req
1310. all three treasured eggs
have been reunited.
Copy !req
1311. Oh, my God! Ed…
Copy !req
1312. Ed Sheeran!
Copy !req
1313. I love you!
Copy !req
1314. Ed Sheeran, who knew?
Copy !req
1315. God, he's so cute.
Copy !req
1316. Yeah, I like that guy.
Copy !req
1317. Attention.
This is an Interpol police action.
Copy !req
1318. Remain in your seats.
This will be over shortly.
Copy !req
1319. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1320. - Cheers.
- Cheers.
Copy !req
1321. - Oh, my God. Don't touch me. Excuse me!
- Oi!
Copy !req
1322. Come on, then. Come on! Come on!
Copy !req
1323. We'll take those. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
1324. - Let's get out of here.
Copy !req
1325. Possession of stolen Nazi loot is a crime.
Copy !req
1326. You're under arrest, father of the bride.
Copy !req
1327. This is outrageous.
Copy !req
1328. Get off me.
Do you know who I am?
Copy !req
1329. I was in Game of Thrones!
Copy !req
1330. I'm Ed Sheeran, bitch!
Copy !req
1331. This gouda is disappointing.
Copy !req
1332. Such a fancy yacht, you'd think
they could stock some decent cheeses.
Copy !req
1333. That's not cheese. That's uncooked pork.
Copy !req
1334. I've heard tapeworms
can be quite slimming.
Copy !req
1335. Surprised to see me?
Copy !req
1336. Well, we're just surprised
it took you so long to find us.
Copy !req
1337. Oh, I actually… I came aboard yesterday.
Copy !req
1338. You weren't the only one crying
at the end of your lovemaking.
Copy !req
1339. You know, funny story,
after Das picked me up on the beach…
Copy !req
1340. Looks like you ran out of friends.
Copy !req
1341. She sent me to the only place
on Earth that actually is worse
Copy !req
1342. than her Instagram account.
Copy !req
1343. But then I remembered
Copy !req
1344. that I'm pretty good
at escaping from things.
Copy !req
1345. So I did.
Copy !req
1346. Look, am I upset about
what happened back on the beach?
Copy !req
1347. Absolutely not.
All's fair in love and eggs.
Copy !req
1348. I came to congratulate you both.
Copy !req
1349. Great. Glad you approve. What do you want?
Copy !req
1350. Well, I'm big on forgiveness.
I always have been.
Copy !req
1351. But I'm not so big on forget-ness.
Copy !req
1352. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
1353. I'm talking about my twist ending.
Copy !req
1354. You know the 300 million
you guys got on the eggs
Copy !req
1355. before you double-crossed the billionaire?
Copy !req
1356. Nice touch, by the way.
Copy !req
1357. Anyhow, I gave our friend,
Inspector Das, a little jingle
Copy !req
1358. and I tipped her off about
that secure Cayman Island account
Copy !req
1359. you stashed it in.
Copy !req
1360. Turns out,
it's not as secure as one might hope.
Copy !req
1361. Take it all.
Copy !req
1362. See? Now, we're even.
Copy !req
1363. Everyone loses, no one gets the money
and we can all be friends again.
Copy !req
1364. Cut the shit. What's the offer?
Copy !req
1365. There's a new score.
Copy !req
1366. Double the payout, triple the challenge,
plus, here's the best part.
Copy !req
1367. It's a three-thief job.
One, two, three.
Copy !req
1368. And let me guess, if we don't say yes,
Copy !req
1369. then Inspector Das is on her way
right now to arrest us.
Copy !req
1370. Yes, in very fast boats.
Copy !req
1371. Know what I think is funny, Booth?
Copy !req
1372. Vin Diesel's audition tape for Cats?
It exists.
Copy !req
1373. The fact that you think
the two of us would ever team up with you.
Copy !req
1374. Get off the boat.
Copy !req
1375. Great. I'll, uh, send you both
a sharpened toothbrush.
Copy !req
1376. Wait, stop.
Copy !req
1377. Look,
we need a new score now anyway.
Copy !req
1378. I know he drives you crazy, but he's good.
Copy !req
1379. - And you two work well together.
- No, we don't.
Copy !req
1380. We kinda do.
Copy !req
1381. Do you trust me?
Copy !req
1382. Always.
Copy !req
1383. - You love me?
- Big time.
Copy !req
1384. That's all we need.
Copy !req
1385. What are we stealing?
Copy !req
1386. This.
Copy !req
1387. It's abandoned.
They're not here.
Copy !req
1388. Ready?
Copy !req
1389. What could possibly go wrong?
Copy !req
1390. Everything.
Copy !req
1391. Don't miss me too much.
Copy !req
1392. [sing-song] Ta-ta!
Copy !req