- 1. Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
- 2. Esteemed citizens of Quartu,
- 3. I stand before you a proud Blarg,
- 4. for tonight, we will twist
the very fabric of reality.
- 5. We will defy nature with reckless abandon.
- 6. We have also broken 16 galactic
statutes and one star ordinance,
- 7. so I shouldn't see
anything about this online!
- 8. Beautifully worded, sir.
- 9. Hmm.
- 10. In just a few moments,
- 11. we will unleash a weapon
so powerful that it will take...
- 12. Stanley, are you seriously still
texting after what I just said?
- 13. Victor? If you please.
- 14. Uh...
- 15. Mommy.
- 16. Dialing Mother.
- 17. Hello, Horkelberg residence!
- 18. Hello? Who is this?
- 19. Herman, it's that man again.
I hear heavy breathing and...
- 20. Ew! And chewing!
- 21. That's it. I'm calling the police.
- 22. Does anyone else feel like texting? Hmm?
- 23. Show of hands?
- 24. - Anyone?
- 25. Very well.
- 26. Commence deplanetization!
- 27. Ready the Deplanetizer!
- 28. Seriously?
- 29. 496, 497, 498, 499, 500.
- 30. Come on. Is that all you got?
- 31. I need you to give me 2,000,010%.
- 32. One and two and three and four.
- 33. Remember, if you feel
the burn, that's good.
- 34. If you smell the burn, that's bad.
- 35. Three, two, one.
- 36. Okay, let's dig deep.
- 37. Don't quit on me now.
- 38. Can you feel it? Huh? Huh?
- 39. Can you feel the burn?
- 40. Are you kidding? I'm on fire.
- 41. I can take anything you can dish out,
so bring it on!
- 42. Okay, 2,000 more.
- 43. 2,000?
- 44. One and two, three and four.
- 45. No pain, no gain.
- 46. And we'll be right back
after these messages!
- 47. Okay, bots! Let's do this!
- 48. And lunge! And lunge!
- 49. Ranger Workout will be right back!
- 50. Burn!
- 51. Planet Tenemule is no more.
- 52. What?
- 53. Hello. Dallas Wannamaker here.
- 54. Tonight at 5:00, another uninhabited planet
is destroyed without warning or cause,
- 55. marking the fourth in recent memory
of our once-peaceful galaxy.
- 56. As a result, the President has requested
- 57. our ever-vigilant Galactic Rangers
increase their numbers
- 58. from four to five.
- 59. Really? Just five? All right.
- 60. And now a message from the man himself,
- 61. Space, a wondrous realm
full of adventure, and peril,
- 62. and, uh, big-ness.
- 63. Captain Qwark!
- 64. The Solana Galaxy is our home,
and as many of you know,
- 65. it's in a state of crisis.
- 66. The Galactic Rangers are looking for a new
recruit to help with the investigation.
- 67. So if you're a small-time nobody
in search of adventure,
- 68. come on down to the spaceport
and see me, Captain Qwark!
- 69. - Cue montage!
- Cue montage!
- 70. Our next stop,
Planet Veldin's Kyzil Plateau!
- 71. Kyzil Plateau?
- 72. That's right!
- 73. The Kyzil Plateau!
- 74. Ranger tryouts.
- 75. This is huge.
- 76. Galactic Ranger! Grab some sky.
- 77. Galactic Ranger, punk. Put 'em...
- 78. Whoa!
- 79. Ranger down!
- 80. Mission accomplished.
- 81. Hello?
- 82. I'm here to pick up my ship?
- 83. I'll be there in one minute.
- 84. Ah!
- 85. Give or take.
- 86. Hello? Hello?
- 87. Hello?
- 88. Hmm?
- 89. Are you ready to have your mind blown?
- 90. Eh. No.
- 91. Whoo-ho-ho! Yeah!
- 92. I'll take that as a yes.
- 93. Boom!
- 94. Protolux afterburners,
full Gadgetron weapon package,
- 95. and a high-intensity
mag-booster so powerful,
- 96. it can pick up a paperclip
from two kilocubits away.
- 97. I think there's been a mistake.
- 98. I came in to get my ejector seat repaired.
- 99. Why repair something
when you can improve it?
- 100. Come on, have a seat.
- 101. Now, let's fire up that mag-booster!
- 102. - Oh!
- Pretty sweet, right?
- 103. I guess, but why do I need it?
- 104. Well, you could...
- 105. I mean, you know, if you ever...
- 106. You know, I don't know.
- 107. Whoa!
- 108. No worries, I can buff that out.
- 109. Maybe we should just...
- 110. Power this sucker down.
- 111. Oh, boy.
- 112. Look out! Hello! Watch it!
- 113. Hey, I've been looking for that.
- 114. Greetings, Cadet!
- 115. - What was that sound?
- 116. - Unrelated question, is your seatbelt on?
- 117. Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes!
- 118. Those aren't the brakes!
- 119. I'm too old to die!
- 120. You've got to be kidding me.
- 121. How did you get a license?
- 122. Whoa!
- 123. Can you hit the kill switch, please?
- 124. The fish witch?
- 125. The kill switch!
- 126. - Eh...
- On the dash!
- 127. The drill hatch on the dish!
- 128. Hang on, I can fix this.
- 129. Your tail's in my face!
- 130. Hey, the view's no prettier
down here, pal!
- 131. There's a wall!
- 132. Oh, boy.
- 133. Yes!
- 134. Whoa!
- 135. Phew!
- 136. That was a close one, huh?
- 137. I want a refund!
- 138. Yeah, that is going to
show up on my midyear review.
- 139. You seem especially brooding today, Victor.
- 140. Come! I have just the thing
to brighten your day!
- 141. Our next target!
- 142. Look at these waterfalls, the fjords,
- 143. the rolling hills of Corvoxian snodgrass!
- 144. This is exactly what I need.
- 145. But, sir, that entire region is heavily
patrolled by the Galactic Rangers!
- 146. We will have this planet!
- 147. And we will take it
by going on the offensive.
- 148. Our forces will strike
at the Galactic Rangers first
- 149. and remove them
from the equation altogether.
- 150. Wait. Real battle?
- 151. Metal hand against hand.
- 152. I trust this pleases you?
- 153. Of course it pleases me,
but we don't have any forces!
- 154. You let me worry about that.
- 155. In two days' time,
the Galactic Rangers will be destroyed
- 156. and I'll be able to
complete my masterpiece!
- 157. How many times, Ratchet? How many?
- 158. Come on, he's fine!
- 159. He landed in a pile of ivy.
- 160. Poison ivy.
- 161. Look, you're a great mechanic, you got
a lot of heart, but you're careless.
- 162. "Careless," it's such an ugly word.
- 163. I prefer "carefree."
- 164. Too soon? Yeah, it was too soon.
- 165. I know things haven't been easy for you,
- 166. but you can't keep acting out
like this when I have a shop to run.
- 167. What's with you lately?
- 168. I just feel like I'm supposed to do more.
- 169. I've always dreamt
of being a Galactic Ranger,
- 170. doing big things, like Captain Qwark!
- 171. You want an old mechanic's advice?
- 172. Dream smaller.
It leads to less disappointment.
- 173. Please, Grim.
- 174. I just need one hour off so I can go
to the spaceport for tryouts.
- 175. You promised you'd help me give proton
scrubs to every ship on the plateau!
- 176. It's almost summer.
These people depend on us!
- 177. First off, it's always summer.
We live in a desert.
- 178. And second, that promise
is still in effect!
- 179. It's a 100% valid promise,
and you can redeem it in one hour.
- 180. Yes! You! You are a great friend, Grim.
- 181. Don't let anyone tell you different.
- 182. I'll be back before you know it!
- 183. You're the best boss in the galaxy!
- 184. An inspiration to us all!
Don't ever change!
- 185. I'm okay!
- 186. Ladies and gentlemen,
- 187. get on your feet, put your hands together,
- 188. and give a big Planet Veldin welcome
- 189. to your Galactic Rangers!
- 190. First up, she'll shoot first and ask
questions when she's good and ready.
- 191. Cora Veralux!
- 192. You loved him in Grapplemania,
you'll love him more as a Galactic Ranger.
- 193. Get ready to feel the pain
of Brax "The Brute" Lectrus!
- 194. Yeah, baby!
- 195. And finally,
- 196. ladies and gentlemen,
the savior of Solana,
- 197. Captain Qwark!
- 198. Hello, Veldin!
- 199. Hello, Captain!
- 200. He's on fire again.
- 201. I know.
- 202. My name is Copernicus Qwark, and yes,
- 203. that was an impressive wall
of fire I just walked past.
- 204. I'm going to be real
with you folks for a moment.
- 205. When President Phyronix
recommended I take on a new ranger,
- 206. I knew just where to go.
- 207. That's right, we want you!
- 208. Yeah!
- 209. The galaxy is a perilous place.
- 210. Invasion, space pirates, supernovas!
- 211. I know what you're thinking,
"Do I have what it takes?"
- 212. After all, you may not have
prevented Dr. Nefarious
- 213. from atomizing Aleero City.
- 214. You may not have stopped Neftin Prog
- 215. from rendering the entire population
of Aridia color-blind!
- 216. Twice!
- 217. After all, you may not have this
chiseled jaw or godlike pectoral region,
- 218. but if you have heart,
then you have what it takes.
- 219. You don't have what it takes.
- 220. But I have heart.
- 221. Yes, but unfortunately
that heart is encased
- 222. in a weak, muscleless
mass of inexperience.
- 223. Plus, there's your history to consider.
- 224. You got a long line of citations here.
- 225. Possession of an illegal
- 226. Oh, that was a misunderstanding.
- 227. I thought that space pirate
was on the level!
- 228. Operation of a black-market accelerator.
- 229. "Operation" is a strong word.
- 230. It blew up as soon as I turned it on!
- 231. Willful disruption
of the space-time continuum?
- 232. That is a funny story.
- 233. You're reckless, you're a loose cannon,
and you're dangerous.
- 234. That's my shtick.
- 235. Wait! Just give me a chance!
- 236. Sorry, no time! Galaxy in jeopardy!
- 237. Get back out there, and remember,
you can do anything...
- 238. As long as you're me. Next!
- 239. I have no less than three lethal katas
- 240. I would like to demonstrate for you today.
- 241. Get me out of these tiny blue-neck towns.
- 242. Dr. Nefarious!
- 243. The mad scientist who made
all of this possible!
- 244. "Mad" suggests cognitive impairment.
- 245. I'm more of a vengeful scientist.
- 246. I trust you're here to meet the troops.
- 247. Three hundred sentient warbots,
- 248. built using the finest raritanium
in the galaxy,
- 249. and programmed to assassinate
the Galactic Rangers.
- 250. Proton-powered, rust-proof,
- 251. Each of these perfect creations
- 252. is an efficient,
remorseless killing machine.
- 253. Remorseless killing machine...
- 254. Makes me want to have children of my own.
- 255. But will they get the job done?
- 256. I'd hate to have to send you
back where I found you.
- 257. State your prime objective.
- 258. Prime objective, destroy Galactic Rangers.
- 259. Inspection complete. Weapon issued.
- 260. My warbots know every offensive
tactic in the Ranger handbook.
- 261. They won't just kill the Rangers...
- 262. Target acquired.
- 263. They'll annihilate them!
- 264. Nice. They killed the lights, too.
- 265. Burn.
- 266. Repairbot!
- 267. - Ah!
- Now we're talking.
- 268. Target acquired.
- 269. Oh, my...
- 270. State your prime objective.
- 271. Destroy Galactic Rangers.
- 272. State your prime objective.
- 273. Destroy Galactic Rangers.
- 274. State your prime...
- 275. Hmm...
- 276. Hello.
- 277. Defect detected.
- 278. Preparing for immediate
destruction in three, two...
- 279. Hey! Wait!
- 280. Oh, a defect!
- 281. Go play, Victor.
- 282. No...
- 283. Ahh!
- 284. I'm coming for you, defect!
- 285. Oh! Ooh!
- 286. Hmm.
- 287. Defect!
- 288. Computer, set coordinates
for the Galactic Ranger home base.
- 289. Destination set.
- 290. We will never make it, but,
hey, what are you gonna do?
- 291. Oh, dear.
- 292. Sayonara, amigo.
- 293. Ratchet...
- 294. So, you're off to save the galaxy.
- 295. Turns out you were right.
I should dream smaller.
- 296. I'll never be a Ranger.
- 297. What?
- 298. Whoa!
- 299. Danger detected. Danger detected.
- 300. I told you we'd never make it,
but did you listen to me? No.
- 301. Hello?
- 302. Anyone in there? Whoa!
- 303. Prepare for imminent death.
- 304. There's got to be
a better way to say that.
- 305. Sorry.
- 306. Prepare for imminent death. How's that?
- 307. Five, four, three, two, one...
- 308. No vector shell damage.
Sister board appears to be intact.
- 309. Ah!
- 310. I must get to Aleero City!
- 311. They are in danger!
- 312. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey, who's in danger?
- 313. An army is coming. I must warn them!
- 314. Hang on, slow down.
You've been in a crash.
- 315. What do you say we get you
back to my garage?
- 316. I'll run a diagnostic
and have you fixed up in no time.
- 317. Thank you. I appreciate the assistance.
- 318. It's no problem. So what do I call you?
- 319. I suppose my proper designation
is Warbot Defect B5429...
- 320. Maybe I'll just call you Clank.
- 321. My name's Ratchet.
- 322. Uh...
- 323. Up and down.
- 324. Yeah, there you go. You're a natural.
- 325. Okay, that's enough.
- 326. Or just keep shaking. That's cool, too.
- 327. Almost got it.
- 328. And... There!
- 329. How do you feel?
- 330. Fully operational.
- 331. Sweet.
- 332. So, what are you doing
all the way out here in the sticks?
- 333. I am on a mission of galactic importance.
- 334. "Galactic importance"?
- 335. Okay. Oh, boy.
You must have ruptured your CPU.
- 336. How many fingers am I holding up?
- 337. Uh... Two. But I fail to see
the relevance of the question.
- 338. Chairman Drek has
built an army of warbots.
- 339. They're going to assassinate
the Galactic Rangers tomorrow.
- 340. Oh! That kind of galactic importance!
- 341. Well, why didn't you say so?
I can totally help!
- 342. Oh, I could not ask a civilian to get
involved in something so dangerous.
- 343. Well... No, I'm not just a civilian.
- 344. The Rangers are actually my friends!
- 345. Why do you think I have
so many pictures of them?
- 346. But why are you not in any of them?
- 347. Well, someone had to
take the picture, right?
- 348. I mean, come on. I even have a ship.
- 349. It disassembles so it can
infiltrate enemy strongholds.
- 350. So, what do you say?
- 351. I understand what the President wants,
- 352. but what are the odds of actually finding
a qualified Ranger way out in the boonies?
- 353. After all, there's nothing
the three of us can't handle...
- 354. Oh!
- 355. I am your biggest fan.
- 356. It's touching me. Get it off. Get it off!
- 357. Move it! Move it! We've got hostiles!
We've got hostiles!
- 358. Go! Go! Go!
- 359. Enemy warship! Take cover, citizen!
- 360. I love you!
- 361. Target acquired.
- 362. Hmm...
- 363. Hmm.
- 364. Hmm?
- 365. - What?
- 366. I have not been able to locate
your species in my database.
- 367. I get that a lot.
There aren't many of us left.
- 368. Not in this galaxy, anyway.
- 369. I'm a Lombax.
- 370. A Lombax?
- 371. Fascinating.
- 372. Yeah. I crashed on Veldin
when I was just a baby.
- 373. No note, no message, no name...
- 374. Kinda like you.
- 375. Approaching destination.
- 376. Whoa!
- 377. Aleero City!
- 378. Yes, it certainly is.
- 379. No way!
- 380. It is the invasion. We are too late.
- 381. Target acquired.
- 382. You knocked on the wrong door, hombre.
- 383. How was that? Did that sound cool?
- 384. Oh, boy.
- 385. Target...
- 386. Target acquired.
- 387. Target...
- 388. Target...
- 389. - Brax to the max!
- 390. Awesome!
- 391. Fire!
- 392. Bring me the captain's head,
or I'll take yours as a replacement.
- 393. Wilhelm!
- 394. I got these guys.
- 395. Welcome to the Hall of Heroes...
- 396. Oops. I must've forgotten
to install the targeting software.
- 397. Here, take the controls for a sec.
- 398. Oh. I... Um...
- 399. Ow! Hey! What's going on up there?
- 400. Well, unfortunately
my piloting skills are,
- 401. shall we say, slightly underdeveloped.
- 402. Yeah, I think we can
definitely agree on that.
- 403. - Whoa!
- You maniac!
- 404. Ratchet, we are clearly
not prepared for this.
- 405. We should have contacted the Rangers
to warn them of the attack.
- 406. Yeah, like they'd know who we are.
- 407. But you said they were your friends.
- 408. What?
- 409. I think you're quoting me out of context.
- 410. The Rangers are actually my friends!
- 411. Do you record everything I say?
- 412. Do you record everything I say?
- 413. We're going down!
- 414. Your sense of direction is impeccable.
- 415. I can fix this!
- 416. That was awesome!
- 417. Finish them!
- 418. Ratchet, I believe I may have an idea.
- 419. Your weapon package
includes a mag-booster.
- 420. I am rewriting the software to isolate the
raritanium alloy used to manufacture us.
- 421. Great idea, Clank!
- 422. Bring it on!
- 423. There's too many of them!
- 424. Hold steady, Rangers!
- 425. Prepare to die, Galactic losers!
- 426. Come on, come on!
- 427. Executing command, and engage mag-booster.
- 428. Is it working?
- 429. Oh!
- 430. I do believe it is.
- 431. Target acquired.
- 432. Huh?
- 433. No way.
- 434. - Yeah!
- Oh, yes.
- 435. You're getting this, right?
- 436. Two civilians are saving the city!
- 437. There are 300 heavily
armed warbots gaining on us!
- 438. I know! Isn't it great?
- 439. Get ready to return to sender!
- 440. Terminating mag-booster on my mark!
- 441. Three, two, one...
- 442. Mark!
- 443. No, no...
- 444. No!
- 445. What happened?
- 446. You got to be kidding me!
- 447. Get out.
- 448. Taxi!
- 449. Ah!
- 450. Hmm?
- 451. All right, everyone, let's give
these heroes some breathing room.
- 452. I'm happy to field all questions
on their behalf.
- 453. Captain Qwark!
Juanita Alvaro, HoloVid Nightly.
- 454. The Blarg have been underground
for over 50 years.
- 455. Could their return be linked
to the destroyed planets?
- 456. I think that's being a little alarmist,
don't you, Juanita?
- 457. Begging your pardon, Captain,
but Drek is responsible.
- 458. And his attack today proves
that he is only getting started.
- 459. Now, now! We must all stay calm.
Everything is under control.
- 460. Captain Qwark! Dallas Wannamaker here.
- 461. Does that mean you'll be asking
these two heroes to join the Rangers?
- 462. Say what now?
- 463. Well, I...
- 464. I... Well, I...
- 465. I don't see why not.
- 466. You heard it here, folks!
- 467. The search for a new
Galactic Ranger is over!
- 468. Aleero City will never forget
the day it was saved by a...
- 469. A cat thingy.
- 470. How did this happen?
- 471. Someone explain it to me! You!
- 472. You're supposed to
understand how they think!
- 473. How did you not see this coming?
- 474. And Victor!
- 475. Do you know how many candidates
you beat out for your position?
- 476. I could have hired the Zeezils Brothers!
- 477. It's enough to make me
want to vaporize someone!
- 478. We're putting our project on hold.
- 479. I'm ordering all remaining warbots to the
Deplanetizer until the heat dies down.
- 480. Before we make any rash decisions,
- 481. I wonder if you'd permit me
to troubleshoot this for you.
- 482. Go on.
- 483. Our question is simple.
- 484. How do you destroy a team of heroes?
- 485. Whoa! Whoa! Well, lots of ways, really.
- 486. Chains, knives, guns, an enormous rock?
- 487. Rock...
- 488. The answer is "from within!"
- 489. If we continue to fight them with muscle,
we'll lose every time.
- 490. But if we turn one of
their own against them...
- 491. Of course, we'd need a weak link.
- 492. A sad simpleton who'd believe
whatever we tell him.
- 493. A corruptible moron.
- 494. But who?
- 495. Who?
- 496. Who?
- 497. Hmm.
- 498. Ah!
- 499. I'm getting an idea, boys!
- 500. You're a genius, sir.
- 501. I know. I know!
- 502. Our training program
usually lasts a full year,
- 503. but we've been cleared to attack
Drek Industries in three days.
- 504. That means you two are getting
the accelerated course.
- 505. We're going to be trained by Brax Lectrus?
- 506. The guy's a legend!
- 507. I do not suppose you offer
introductory courses in aviation?
- 508. - No offense, little guy...
- "To the max!"
- 509. but I don't think
flying's really your thing.
- 510. Captain Qwark suggested we put you
in a position a little less...
- 511. Dangerous?
- 512. Whoa!
- 513. Ha! That's right, LivesAtHome472.
- 514. What's the matter?
Don't like getting your butt kicked?
- 515. What are you going to do,
cry to your mommy?
- 516. Wait, are you really crying?
- 517. Hey, Elaris.
- 518. Hi, Brax! Is that my new assistant?
- 519. Greetings. Your office is most, uh...
- 520. Impressive.
- 521. Elaris here is in charge of developing
our gear and providing tactical support.
- 522. Usually it's the former.
- 523. The Rangers are
the shoot-first-think-later type.
- 524. I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to sound like that.
- 525. Like what now?
- 526. Come on. I'll show you around.
- 527. Let's go, Cadet.
Time to make you a Ranger.
- 528. So, this is the...
- 529. Got to keep an eye on them.
Oh. And over here, over here...
- 530. I'll see you in a bit!
- 531. We're going to have so much fun!
- 532. Well, good luck.
- 533. Welcome, Cadet!
- 534. Let's get you into your new protosuit.
- 535. Your protosuit is the most advanced
combat armor on the market.
- 536. And it comes in
all the latest fall colors!
- 537. Sweet.
- 538. A neural sensor in your helmet
reads your thoughts
- 539. and telequips the desired
weapon into your hands.
- 540. Try equipping your Combuster.
- 541. There you go.
- 542. Combuster equipped.
- 543. Wicked.
- 544. The Combuster is the backbone
of the Rangers' arsenal,
- 545. allowing you to hit targets
in a short to medium range.
- 546. Whoa!
- 547. This is embarrassing.
- 548. The Alpha Disruptor
fires a deadly stream of plasma,
- 549. allowing you to hit
multiple targets at once.
- 550. - Whoa!
- See? He's got it.
- 551. Sort of.
- 552. This little baby's the Negotiator.
- 553. Fires multiple long-range,
- 554. Great versus heavy armor.
- 555. Buzz Blades!
- 556. Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no!
- 557. Whoa!
- 558. The Warmonger.
- 559. Ah!
- 560. I dunno. The Spiral of Death?
- 561. Whoa!
- 562. Fusion Grenade?
- 563. - Wow.
- 564. How am I doing?
- 565. So this is really your office?
- 566. Eh. Budget cutbacks.
- 567. I don't mind it as much as
the last guy who had this job.
- 568. Dr. Nefarious.
- 569. Drove him crazy.
- 570. Literally. He turned evil.
- 571. Oh. But don't worry.
It won't happen to me.
- 572. Hmm.
- 573. That's strange.
- 574. What is it?
- 575. I'm running a simulation
- 576. based on the fragments we located
from each destroyed planet.
- 577. Each one is missing a famous landmass.
- 578. Well, perhaps the pieces
are still out there.
- 579. There is a lot of space in space.
- 580. I guess.
- 581. But it's worth bringing up to the captain,
don't you think?
- 582. - Out of the way!
- 583. Watch out! Heads up!
- 584. Coming through!
- 585. Whoa!
- 586. Just relax! Everyone, stay calm!
- 587. Something epic is happening!
- 588. Pretty cool, huh, Clank?
- 589. That's the stuff.
- 590. Flying in the air like a majestic bird,
- 591. a majestic bird who knows
every fighting style.
- 592. Watch the master.
- 593. Captain, Elaris and I...
- 594. - Can't talk.
- ... have some information.
- 595. Doing a flyby.
- 596. Sir! If you could come down and speak
to us for three minutes...
- 597. And there are the sprinklers.
- 598. But, hey, good news!
- 599. You already have a mop, huh?
- 600. So, there's that.
- 601. Please! If we could have just a minute
to discuss our findings.
- 602. The only thing I'm interested in finding
is the Hall of Heroes cafeteria.
- 603. Let's go, Cadet. It's three floors up
and it's meatloaf day!
- 604. Meatloaf!
- 605. Do they always treat you so poorly?
- 606. Oh! No!
- 607. Yes.
- 608. The new Galactic
Ranger Ratchet action figure!
- 609. There he is!
- 610. Guys, it's Ratchet!
- 611. Hey-hey!
- 612. Ratchet, we love you!
- 613. Boy, for a big city,
the people here sure are friendly.
- 614. And rather loud. Oh!
- 615. Sorry! Thought you were a trash can!
- 616. Indeed.
- 617. Wow. Look at that.
- 618. What do you know, Clank? I'm famous.
- 619. Yes. Though I am sure it is exciting,
my cultural database shows
- 620. that fame is highly overrated
and ultimately not rewarding.
- 621. Would you agree?
- 622. Oh, totally. Way overrated.
- 623. Hey, do you think
they'll name a street after me?
- 624. Or a cologne?
- 625. "Ratchet. Smell like a hero."
- 626. There he is!
- 627. Can I smell you?
- 628. Easy, now. There's no rush.
- 629. Believe me, I could do this all day.
- 630. Uh?
- 631. Sorry, folks, but, unfortunately,
we don't have time for this nonsense.
- 632. I'm about to reveal my awesome plan
for the attack on Drek Industries,
- 633. unless, of course,
anyone would like my autograph.
- 634. Good, because we don't have time.
- 635. You the man, Ratchet!
- 636. I love you all!
- 637. He's taller in person!
- 638. Hmm.
- 639. All right, Rangers,
our plan of attack is simple.
- 640. HALO drop into Skorg City,
fire a whole mess o' bullets,
- 641. and take Drek into custody so we
can be home in time for waffles.
- 642. - Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah! Yeah, waffles!
- 643. Oh, that's good.
- 644. Wait, that's our plan?
- 645. Yes, it is.
- 646. Pardon me, Captain,
but Chairman Drek is cunning.
- 647. He will be prepared for our assault.
- 648. Look, I think it is beyond adorable
that you decided to do all this homework.
- 649. But big heroes do big things.
- 650. Each second we waste talking is a second
Drek could use to destroy another planet.
- 651. But wouldn't it be worth taking
five minutes to review our plan?
- 652. We have holoschematics...
- 653. Does anyone else feel like we
should have shot something by now?
- 654. Because it really feels like we
should have shot something by now.
- 655. Thank you!
- 656. Let's take a vote.
- 657. All those in favor of
kicking in Drek's front door
- 658. with a massive arsenal and restoring
peace to a galaxy in turmoil, say "Aye."
- 659. Aye!
- 660. All those in favor of nerding it up here
with some pie charts, say "Nay."
- 661. - Nay.
- Motion passes.
- 662. We assault Drek Industries tonight!
- 663. Lock and load, Rangers!
- 664. Suit up and rally in the aft airlock.
- 665. Although I am happy to help
with the mission in any capacity,
- 666. I find this arrangement
- 667. I'm sorry, but you're the only one
who's been inside Drek's warbot factory.
- 668. Besides, this is the best way
for you to keep up.
- 669. Whoa!
- 670. Nice backpack.
- 671. Remember, your thrusters
are powered by Ratchet's suit,
- 672. so don't try any solo flights. Okay?
- 673. I shall endeavor to...
- 674. He's in good hands, Elaris.
- 675. You sure you want to take
the, uh, extra baggage?
- 676. No offense, but we're dropping
straight into a cauldron.
- 677. And do you know
what's inside that cauldron?
- 678. - Is it danger?
- 679. Yes, it's danger.
- 680. Let's roll!
- 681. All right, team. Let's bring it in.
- 682. Remember, our target is Chairman Drek!
- 683. Ready, Rangers?
- 684. On the count of three.
- 685. Three!
- 686. Keep up, rookie!
- 687. All right, pal, you ready?
- 688. Well, I...
- 689. Whoo-hoo!
- 690. Yeah!
- 691. Yeah!
- 692. Yeah!
- 693. Whoo!
- 694. Ah!
- 695. I'm in. Any sign of Drek?
- 696. Negative.
- 697. Place looks deserted.
- 698. My internal coordinates system
indicates a right turn up ahead.
- 699. Eh. My gut says this way, Clank.
- 700. Glad you're getting in touch with your
feelings, newbie, but we're turning right.
- 701. Because?
- 702. Because I'm your senior Ranger
and I say so. That's why.
- 703. Okay! Okay.
- 704. Yeesh! Cranky.
- 705. - What's that?
- Huh? Oh.
- 706. I said, "thank ye" for
those words of wisdom.
- 707. Good save.
- 708. This feels too easy.
- 709. Why was there no alarm?
- 710. It is strange.
- 711. Everyone, stay sharp.
- 712. Initiate Phase One.
- 713. Let's scatter the cockroaches.
- 714. Just push the button, Zed!
- 715. Yoo-hoo!
- 716. Zurkon, zurkon.
- 717. Zurkon, zurkon.
- 718. Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon...
- 719. Anyone hear that?
- 720. Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon.
- 721. Engaging motion scan.
- 722. I'm getting something.
- 723. Yeah.
- 724. Me, too.
- 725. Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon.
- 726. Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon...
- 727. Huh?
- 728. Yoo-hoo!
- 729. Zurkons!
- 730. Mr. Zurkon is looking to kill you!
- 731. Yoo-hoo!
- 732. Boom, baby!
- 733. Yoo-hoo!
- 734. Yoo-hoo!
- 735. Yeah!
- 736. Three-time galactic champ up in here!
- 737. Ranger identified. Terminate!
- 738. What's a Zurkon?
- 739. Robotic bodyguards.
They protect whoever deploys them.
- 740. Mr. Zurkon has you now.
- 741. - Zurkon hates Galactic Rangers!
- Heads up!
- 742. Whoa!
- 743. Yoo-hoo!
- 744. Nice shot. Do that again,
and I'll shoot you myself.
- 745. What is this place?
- 746. Huh.
- 747. If I may...
- 748. Hmm.
- 749. Yoo-hoo!
- 750. Stupid Ranger. Time to die!
- 751. Mr. Zurkon delivers a symphony of pain!
- 752. Don't move.
- 753. I'm listening.
- 754. Captain Qwark.
- 755. I've been watching you
these past few days,
- 756. and I think it's simply dreadful what...
- 757. - Zed!
- 758. Simply dreadful what
Ratchet has done to you.
- 759. He's made people
forget who the real hero is.
- 760. All you wanted to do was protect
the galaxy, and how do they repay you?
- 761. By dropping you for some...
Well, I don't even know what he is!
- 762. Even if that were true, I could
never betray the citizens of Solana.
- 763. My friend, betraying them is how
you get them to love you.
- 764. Allow me to introduce you to my personal
team of Blargian PR professionals.
- 765. Lads, tell him how we work our magic!
- 766. As far as I can see,
you're the victim here.
- 767. That Lombax pushed you to do this.
- 768. He did?
- 769. You were desperate,
emotionally scarred, depressed, even!
- 770. You didn't know what you were doing.
- 771. The betrayal was a cry for help.
- 772. - It was?
- It will be!
- 773. A tell-all book,
a few guest appearances...
- 774. A holo-film.
- 775. No! A trilogy!
- 776. In six months' time, you won't
just be Captain Qwark the hero...
- 777. You'll be Captain Qwark the survivor. Huh?
- 778. No one needs to get hurt, Captain.
- 779. We can evacuate the planet
- 780. and give these people a new place to live,
a better place to live.
- 781. Do we have a deal?
- 782. Huh?
- 783. Hmm.
- 784. Fascinating.
- 785. These are plans for something
called a "Deplanetizer."
- 786. Deplanetizer?
- 787. Why would Drek be destroying planets?
- 788. Not destroy.
- 789. It seems that Drek is trying
to build the perfect planet.
- 790. Come on, let's move out!
- 791. Hey! Wait for me!
- 792. Wait! Wait!
- 793. Sorry, Zed!
- 794. I'll write you an excellent
letter of recommendation!
- 795. You don't even have my email!
- 796. It's Spacegangsta_72@Zed.com!
- 797. Oh!
- 798. Hi.
- 799. Um...
- 800. Before you start in
with the, um, questioning,
- 801. it's important you understand
that I am faithful to my employer.
- 802. And that's how I found out
I was lactose intolerant,
- 803. though I think the parakeet
would've died anyway,
- 804. because he was always flying
into the window, which is...
- 805. She wouldn't drop him, would she?
- 806. Maybe.
- 807. When I said, "Tell us everything."
I meant Drek's target list.
- 808. Now, out with it!
- 809. Probably.
- 810. I would be more than happy to
supply you with the target list,
- 811. but, unfortunately, I signed a legally
binding non-disclosure agreement.
- 812. I want the rest of his targets.
- 813. - Now!
- 814. This was supposed to be a temp job
until I got my singing career on track.
- 815. Okay, okay!
- 816. Novalis.
- 817. He wants Novalis.
- 818. Novalis?
- 819. Novalis is populated.
- 820. Yes, 43,618,924 people, to be exact.
- 821. The Schnorkelsons had twins this morning.
- 822. We've got to move.
- 823. Hey! Captain Qwark! Buddy!
- 824. Remember me?
- 825. From Drek's office?
Where you signed that contract and...
- 826. Shh!
- 827. Not the face!
- 828. Dear Diary... I mean, journal. Yes.
- 829. Dear Journal, I've been
having the mood swings again.
- 830. One minute, I'm laughing hysterically.
- 831. The next minute, I'm laughing maniacally.
- 832. I guess it's because everything
is going exactly according to plan.
- 833. Soon, I'll be long gone,
- 834. and the entire solar system
will be nothing
- 835. but a giant cloud of dust and gas.
- 836. Excuse me, Doctor.
- 837. Chairman Drek would like to see you.
- 838. How long have you been standing there?
- 839. I came in during the part
about dust and gas?
- 840. It's my dietary journal.
- 841. I keep a very strict record of everything
I eat and which foods give me...
- 842. Dust and gas?
- 843. Exactly.
- 844. Cool.
- 845. General Qwark moves into position.
- 846. Ooh.
- 847. Cleverly, he deactivates the weapons
system, and the crowd goes wild.
- 848. Yeah! Yeah! Qwark is the best! Yeah!
- 849. Novalis Control, evac shuttle
convoy 262 departing orbit.
- 850. Evacuation 82% complete.
- 851. Fighters ready to rock.
So what's the plan, Captain?
- 852. Uh? Oh... The plan?
- 853. Yes. Here's what
we're going to do, Rangers.
- 854. I'll go in first and try to reason
with this Drek character,
- 855. see if we can talk this out, mano-a-mano.
- 856. Talk? I don't follow, sir.
- 857. Sir, he's blown up five planets already!
- 858. I think we're done talking.
- 859. Captain, if we can just take 30 seconds,
I think I have an idea.
- 860. Sure. Go ahead.
- 861. Well, I was looking at the schematics
of the Deplanetizer...
- 862. - Yeah.
- ... and it occurred to me...
- 863. And mute.
- 864. I'm going in.
- 865. Captain, wait! Back-up is on the way!
- 866. Hostile ship on approach, sir.
- 867. Should we fire proton cannons?
- 868. Not yet.
- 869. I've got a shiny new puppet down there,
and I'm about to put on a show.
- 870. "Starting secret mission.
- 871. "Hero work ain't easy.
- 872. "#Humblebrag, #Killinglt,
- 873. "#NoFilter, #NotAMole."
- 874. - Ah!
- I'm not a sellout!
- 875. Captain Qwark!
- 876. You performed marvelously.
- 877. Be honest, are you a professional actor?
- 878. Well, I did dabble in my share
of theater back in grade school.
- 879. Every year, I'd play the dad...
- 880. Yes, an enthralling saga I'd love to hear!
- 881. But first, you've disabled
the weapons system
- 882. on the Rangers' fleet, right?
- 883. Oh, just as a safety precaution, mind you.
- 884. We wouldn't want a tense situation
to escalate out of control.
- 885. Of course, we wouldn't want that.
- 886. And I have your word that my team
isn't going to get hurt, right?
- 887. Oh, my dear captain!
- 888. Where's the trust?
- 889. Destroy them all.
- 890. Contact! Contact!
- 891. All units, engage.
- 892. Error. Error. Weapons system compromised.
- 893. Cannons! Missiles!
- 894. Weapon systems are negative
across the board!
- 895. Same here! I got nothing!
- 896. We've been sabotaged. Rangers, fall back!
- 897. Break off! Break off!
- 898. The Rangers are retreating, sir.
- 899. Brilliant.
- 900. Hmm.
- 901. Get me a holo-scan of that ship.
- 902. Right away, sir.
- 903. Well, lookee-lookee.
- 904. What have we here?
- 905. The defect.
- 906. Ah, yes, the one that got away.
- 907. Not this time.
- 908. Are you sure, Victor?
- 909. He looks awfully dangerous.
- 910. Teleport me to the ship.
- 911. It's impossible, sir. It's shielded.
- 912. Just get me close!
- 913. No, I can't leave him.
- 914. Ratchet, what are you doing?
- 915. I'm going in!
- 916. Ratchet, don't do this.
- 917. If you give us a minute,
we can work out an assault plan!
- 918. There's no time!
- 919. Captain Qwark is in there fighting
an entire army on his own!
- 920. Permission to land?
- 921. Permission granted.
- 922. Mmm.
- 923. Who's on foot duty?
- 924. Tootsie rub, come on.
- 925. Ah!
- 926. Their defensive fire is too strong.
- 927. Pull back! Your fighter won't make it.
- 928. I don't have to land!
- 929. I just have to get close.
- 930. Hull integrity at 2%.
- 931. Prepare to teleject.
- 932. Ratchet, please, listen to Elaris.
- 933. The odds of surviving a head-on assault
is roughly 600,993 to one!
- 934. Big heroes do big things.
- 935. Three, two, one...
- 936. He made it!
- 937. What was that?
- 938. I do not know. I will investigate.
- 939. Probably just the ship settling.
- 940. Nothing to be alarmed about.
- 941. Whoa!
- 942. Ah!
- 943. Defect!
- 944. Oh, my.
- 945. I am coming for you, Defect!
- 946. Uh, I believe we may have a problem.
- 947. Coming through!
- 948. Star Cracker Chamber,
- 949. 47 meters southwest,
then slight right ahead.
- 950. Ratchet? Where are you?
- 951. Can't talk! I'm almost
at the control center.
- 952. Captain Qwark did something to the ship!
- 953. And I think Clank's in trouble!
- 954. Roger that! As soon as I stop
the Deplanetizer from firing,
- 955. I'll be right back to help.
- 956. Deplanetizer now online.
- 957. Bravo, my boy!
- 958. Bravo!
- 959. I deal with my share of
morons on a daily basis,
- 960. but this?
- 961. This is seriously next level!
- 962. Take him.
- 963. Where are you?
- 964. Come out and fight!
- 965. You want a fight? I'll give you a fight.
- 966. No free rides!
- 967. Hmm.
- 968. Die!
- 969. Get back here!
- 970. I'm going to make you wish
you were never created!
- 971. Thundersmack equipped.
- 972. You're nothing but a pathetic defect!
- 973. Perhaps. But I am waterproof.
- 974. Defect!
- 975. Hey! Over here!
- 976. Can I switch sides now?
- 977. I never had a proper planet.
- 978. I spent my formative years underground,
- 979. where everything was dark and wet and hot.
- 980. And I was like, "Warrior?
No, I said I was a worrier!"
- 981. I worry about everything!
- 982. I... Oh, hey.
- 983. Qwark?
- 984. This is awkward.
- 985. The next time you and those moronic
Rangers decide to play hero...
- 986. plan better.
- 987. Toss him into one of the shuttles.
- 988. I want him to live to see his failure.
- 989. Drek, don't do this!
Novalis is home to millions!
- 990. Yes, yes, and they had
their time in the sun.
- 991. Now it's our turn.
- 992. Commence deplanetization!
- 993. Ready the Deplanetizer!
- 994. No!
- 995. Well, here's your I.D. Welcome aboard.
- 996. - Captain?
- 997. Oh. Yeah. Thanks.
- 998. Release the harvesters!
- 999. In the wake of Novalis' destruction
- 1000. and Captain Qwark's shocking betrayal,
Galactic President Phyronix has issued
- 1001. a galaxy-wide alert
to all Solana citizens.
- 1002. Residents are to remain in their homes
while authorities manage the crisis.
- 1003. And though the planet
was successfully evacuated,
- 1004. the question remains,
did we put our trust in the wrong Lombax?
- 1005. Uh...
- 1006. Can I come in?
- 1007. That protosuit of yours keeps beeping.
- 1008. All day, all night,
voices asking you to come back.
- 1009. Those Ranger hotshots are persistent.
- 1010. Yeah. Thanks, Grim.
I'll turn it off in the morning.
- 1011. Hey. I remember this.
- 1012. You wandered into the garage
and took my rocket sled for a test drive.
- 1013. No fear, no safety check, you just flipped
the switch, and off you went.
- 1014. Took three police bots to chase you
down and teach you how to stop!
- 1015. I guess I just wanted to do something big.
- 1016. I wanted to matter, you know?
- 1017. I ain't never been very good with advice.
- 1018. But I do know this.
- 1019. To be a hero,
you don't have to do big things,
- 1020. just the right ones.
- 1021. That's actually not bad.
- 1022. Thank you.
- 1023. I have my moments.
- 1024. I'm okay.
- 1025. My dear, sweet Victor.
- 1026. You were a wonderful friend and companion.
- 1027. Honest. Loyal. Rusty.
- 1028. I mean, really rusty. I could hear you
all the way across the station.
- 1029. But still, we honor you with
this silent moment of reflection,
- 1030. as thanks for your sacrifice.
- 1031. You will be missed.
- 1032. Let's get this show on the road!
- 1033. Bring in New Quartu!
- 1034. Bring in New Quartu!
- 1035. Uh, how are things at home, Jeff?
- 1036. Great!
- 1037. It's beautiful.
- 1038. I did it, Father. I did it!
- 1039. - It's beautiful.
- 1040. I thought I might find you here.
- 1041. Clank?
- 1042. I'm not going back, Clank.
- 1043. This is where I belong. You were right.
- 1044. Fame is overrated, especially when you're
famous for causing a complete disaster.
- 1045. It was not a complete disaster.
- 1046. Authorities are calling it
a "complete and utter disaster"...
- 1047. Sorry!
- 1048. The evacuation of Novalis was successful.
- 1049. No one was killed or injured.
- 1050. But those people lost their homes,
- 1051. and for that, I have to
take full responsibility.
- 1052. Blaming yourself and taking responsibility
are two very different things.
- 1053. If you truly want to be accountable,
- 1054. you will endeavor to make things
right the next time.
- 1055. Next time?
- 1056. Drek has one more target on his list.
- 1057. With Captain Qwark
now working for the enemy,
- 1058. the Rangers need you more than ever.
- 1059. And I would like to offer
my assistance in any way possible,
- 1060. partner.
- 1061. Earthquake!
- 1062. What's that?
- 1063. Oh, I brought some friends.
- 1064. Okay, pity party's over.
Time to get back to work.
- 1065. Listen, guys,
I'm sorry I ran out on you like that.
- 1066. Even though I messed up, I should've
stayed to fix it and see it through.
- 1067. Eh. We've all made bad choices.
Here, check it out.
- 1068. My cadet photo.
- 1069. Really? That's how we're playing?
- 1070. Okay, uh, there's no need
to embarrass anyone here.
- 1071. Okay, everyone, chill out!
- 1072. We have a job to do, and I need to start
shooting at something immediately.
- 1073. Well, before we just go off and start
shooting at things, I was thinking that...
- 1074. Yeah, get some.
- 1075. That's what I'm talking about.
- 1076. Forget it.
- 1077. No, wait. Go on.
- 1078. I think we need to hear
what you both have to say.
- 1079. Well, while we can't move
a planet out of the way...
- 1080. I was thinking, what if we could move
the weapon targeting that planet?
- 1081. Move the Deplanetizer?
- 1082. Knock it off course.
- 1083. Okay. Awesome.
- 1084. And just how are we going to do that?
- 1085. Not sure yet. But I'm working on it.
- 1086. Hmm.
- 1087. I might have an idea.
- 1088. So after you pick up my dry cleaning,
- 1089. you need to polish the Segway,
and after that...
- 1090. Drek, I want to talk to you.
- 1091. You tried to kill my Rangers!
You said you'd leave them alone!
- 1092. And I meant it at the time!
- 1093. I detest bloodshed as much as any Blarg,
- 1094. but sometimes, sacrifices are
necessary for the greater good.
- 1095. I know you're working
with Nefarious on this.
- 1096. Yes, isn't it wonderful?
- 1097. We're all part of the same dream team.
- 1098. We should make T-shirts!
- 1099. You're making a big mistake.
- 1100. You have no idea the kinds
of evil he's capable of.
- 1101. Oh, but I do.
- 1102. It's all right here on his résumé.
- 1103. Horrendous evil. Unspeakable evil.
- 1104. He's very well-rounded.
- 1105. And apparently, he can juggle. Hmm.
- 1106. Oh-oh!
- 1107. Do I feel my ears burning?
- 1108. And there's our
little juggling psychopath now!
- 1109. You died in a prison escape.
There were witnesses.
- 1110. Oh.
- 1111. People will say and do just about anything
- 1112. for the right price.
- 1113. What was yours, Qwark?
- 1114. What was your price
for selling out your friends?
- 1115. Your face on another cereal box, perhaps?
- 1116. Why don't you run along
- 1117. so the Chairman and I can get back
to the business at hand?
- 1118. But what am I supposed to do?
- 1119. You can guard the Star Cracker
- 1120. Oh! But with fury! Mmm-hmm.
- 1121. That was fun!
- 1122. And T-shirts would be a good idea.
Good for morale.
- 1123. What do you think, Neffie? Should we...
- 1124. Sheepinator. One of my personal favorites.
- 1125. It's time for a change of management.
- 1126. Huh? Uh-oh...
- 1127. Okay, let's do this!
We only got so much time to get it all done.
- 1128. Use that, whatever that's called.
That's good. Okay.
- 1129. Right. Over here.
- 1130. Keep bringing it on in, ratcheting it on up,
- 1131. Make sure everything's got electricity
running through it, at least a little bit.
- 1132. That's good, too.
Whatever that is, you're doing great.
- 1133. Okay.
- 1134. Hey, everybody! Get in here now!
- 1135. Uh, please.
- 1136. You're not going to believe this.
- 1137. We finally decoded the Deplanetizer plans.
- 1138. We found his next target. It's Umbris.
- 1139. Well, at least he picked
an empty planet this time.
- 1140. Yes, however, it is a volatile planet.
- 1141. Its core is made up of pure melluvium.
- 1142. Blowing it up will result in a chain reaction
that will destroy the entire system.
- 1143. But why would Drek do that?
- 1144. I thought he was trying to
build the perfect planet?
- 1145. Well, because Umbris wasn't Drek's idea.
- 1146. Duh!
- 1147. What do you mean?
- 1148. It's Nefarious.
- 1149. Dr. Nefarious?
- 1150. No, Steve Nefarious.
Of course it's Dr. Nefarious!
- 1151. Oh, yeah, funny how
you didn't mention that
- 1152. when I was dangling you
over the edge of a building.
- 1153. Well, you didn't ask, now did you?
- 1154. Okay, that's it. I'm shooting him.
- 1155. What? Don't shoot him.
- 1156. I am confused.
I thought Nefarious was dead.
- 1157. Only on the inside.
- 1158. Otherwise, he's very much...
- 1159. Alive!
- 1160. Okay, shoot him.
- 1161. - You wanted New Quartu?
- 1162. I'll give it to you.
- 1163. Happy trails!
- 1164. Now entering Umbris atmosphere.
- 1165. Yes, it's almost here.
- 1166. The beginning of the end.
- 1167. The end of what?
- 1168. Let the games begin.
- 1169. Remote detonation now activated.
- 1170. It is about to get real.
- 1171. We're as close as we can get
without being spotted.
- 1172. Okay, so what's the plan, Elaris?
- 1173. Go on. We're listening.
- 1174. Well, I've been hard at work
on a little something called
- 1175. the Hologuise.
- 1176. It'll project a visual and audible
replication of Captain Qwark so realistic,
- 1177. it would fool his own mother.
- 1178. With Ratchet posing as Qwark,
they'll dock with the Deplanetizer
- 1179. by easily fooling the simpleminded Blarg.
- 1180. Yes, Captain. What can I do you for?
- 1181. Greetings, citizen.
Just returning from patrol.
- 1182. Copy that. Deactivating shield grid 24 A.
- 1183. Once inside, Ratchet and Clank
will make their way
- 1184. through the Star Cracker
chamber to the inner core.
- 1185. When Ratchet exposes the stabilizer,
it can quickly be disconnected...
- 1186. Yes. Got it.
- 1187. Meanwhile, Clank will disable
all the other weapons
- 1188. by hacking into the mainframe.
- 1189. Weapons system disabled.
- 1190. Leaving the Deplanetizer completely
vulnerable to any outside forces.
- 1191. Warning. Warning. Core stabilizer offline.
- 1192. Run away! Everybody panic!
- 1193. - Warning. Warning.
- What's happening?
- 1194. Warning. Core stabilizer offline.
- 1195. Dr. Nefarious, sir... I mean, Doctor!
- 1196. Where are you going?
- 1197. Me? Nowhere. Certainly not out
of a system-wide blast radius.
- 1198. - What?
- 1199. We've been infiltrated.
- 1200. The Galactic Rangers are trying
to shut down the Deplanetizer,
- 1201. and I can't find Chairman Drek anywhere!
- 1202. Ah!
- 1203. You want something done right,
you have to do it yourself.
- 1204. - Warning. Warning.
- 1205. Core stabilizer offline.
- 1206. Everybody panic!
- 1207. Ratchet...
- 1208. And we're clear. All units, move in.
- 1209. Yeah! Way to go, you guys!
- 1210. Ratchet!
- 1211. Greetings, Cadet.
- 1212. Captain Qwark, on behalf
of the Galactic Rangers,
- 1213. I'm placing you under arrest.
- 1214. You can't do that.
I'll just arrest you right back!
- 1215. On what charge?
- 1216. False arrest? Being annoying? Who cares?
- 1217. You stabbed your own team
in the back, Qwark!
- 1218. Just like you stabbed me in the back,
- 1219. taking my fans, my sponsors,
my lucrative endorsement deals,
- 1220. my parking space!
- 1221. You were my hero.
- 1222. Now you're no better than Nefarious!
- 1223. How dare you.
- 1224. I am way better-looking than Nefarious!
- 1225. I'm taking you in.
- 1226. By force, if necessary.
- 1227. Oh, wittle wombax with a wittle gun!
- 1228. Huh.
- 1229. Qwark, stop! You don't want to do this!
- 1230. Don't tell me what I want to do!
- 1231. On your left, Ratchet. Now your right.
- 1232. Huh?
- 1233. Enough, Qwark!
- 1234. Whoa!
- 1235. Nefarious is tricking you! He wants you
to destroy the entire system!
- 1236. Oh, that's right, you know everything.
- 1237. Uh-oh!
- 1238. Hey, why don't we all
just listen to Ratchet?
- 1239. Ratchet, look out!
- 1240. Whoa!
- 1241. Oh, my.
- 1242. Buzz Blades? I taught
you better than that!
- 1243. Some of it got in my mouth!
It's in my mouth!
- 1244. He's just too good.
- 1245. Oh, dear.
- 1246. Whoa!
- 1247. Clank!
- 1248. Tornado Launcher!
- 1249. Nefarious may be a homicidal lunatic,
but he sure can build a gun.
- 1250. Qwark, please! You're not a villain!
- 1251. You're not like Nefarious.
- 1252. This isn't you, and you know it!
- 1253. If Umbris is destroyed,
everyone will die, including us!
- 1254. Is that how you want to be remembered?
- 1255. I'm... I'm sorry.
- 1256. I don't know how things got this far.
- 1257. This is just pathetic!
- 1258. Nefarious.
- 1259. Give it up. It's over.
- 1260. As head of the Galactic Rangers, uh,
- 1261. he's here to place you under arrest.
- 1262. Me?
- 1263. Absolutely.
- 1264. Arrest this man for his speakable
crimes against the galaxy.
- 1265. My crimes?
- 1266. The real crime is how you treated me!
- 1267. The Rangers couldn't even
give me a proper laboratory!
- 1268. We have an operational budget!
- 1269. You called me "King of the Nerd Herd!"
- 1270. It was a term of endearment!
- 1271. Day after day, I slaved away,
- 1272. creating all the weapons and devices
- 1273. that made you look like a hero.
- 1274. But you're not a hero.
You're not even a good villain!
- 1275. You're the galaxy's biggest joke.
- 1276. Maybe.
- 1277. But now the last laugh is on you.
- 1278. Wait, what? That didn't make any sense.
- 1279. - Sure it did.
- No, it didn't.
- 1280. It sounded like you were combining
- 1281. "The joke is on you"
with "I'll have the last laugh."
- 1282. Take your pick.
- 1283. That's not how it works!
- 1284. Get ready to engage mag-boosters!
- 1285. Ratchet and Clank are still inside.
- 1286. Drek's going to fire at any moment!
We don't have any more time!
- 1287. My point is, if you're going to use
a one-liner, it should make sense,
- 1288. and be relevant to the situation!
- 1289. Look, I workshop thousands of these
a year, and they can't all be gold!
- 1290. Now, put your hands in the air!
- 1291. Over your dead body!
- 1292. Whoa!
- 1293. Incoming.
- 1294. Whoa!
- 1295. Mommy!
- 1296. Dialing Mother.
- 1297. Hello, Horkelberg residence!
- 1298. Mag-boosters engaged!
- 1299. Full power!
- 1300. It's working.
- 1301. Stay with it.
- 1302. Steady now! Steady!
- 1303. Whoa!
- 1304. What's happening?
- 1305. Whoa!
- 1306. Deplanetizer now online.
- 1307. Qwark! Don't let him turn it on!
- 1308. Get off me, you has-been!
- 1309. You know, maybe Drek was right.
- 1310. I am a mad scientist.
- 1311. Whoo-hoo! They missed!
- 1312. Lousy, insolent, idiotic...
- 1313. Break off. Break off!
- 1314. Copy that.
- 1315. Ratchet, you have to get out of there now!
- 1316. Weapon locker depleted.
- 1317. Hmm.
- 1318. Yeah. We're working on it.
- 1319. No! My plan! You've ruined my plan!
- 1320. You've had this one coming
a long time, Qwark!
- 1321. Of all my brilliant creations,
- 1322. it remains one of my favorites.
- 1323. Meet the RYNO,
- 1324. as in, "Rip You A New One."
- 1325. - Hey, Nefarious?
- 1326. Meet the Omniwrench.
- 1327. Warning. Now entering Umbris atmosphere.
- 1328. Any ideas?
- 1329. Hmm.
- 1330. Come on, guys. Get out of there. Come on!
- 1331. They'll never make it out in time.
- 1332. We've got to help.
- 1333. It's too late. There's nothing we can do.
- 1334. We must find one of Drek's teleporters!
- 1335. - I saw one on the bridge!
- Watch out!
- 1336. Hang on, boys.
- 1337. It's here! Hit the brakes!
- 1338. Relax, I know what...
- 1339. - Qwark!
- Oh, no.
- 1340. I can't reach you in time.
Just get out while you can!
- 1341. - Teleporter charging.
- 1342. What are you doing?
- 1343. Improvising!
- 1344. Oh!
- 1345. Are we dead?
- 1346. Huh?
- 1347. We are alive.
- 1348. All Rangers alive and accounted for.
- 1349. Whoo! Welcome back, Rangers! Good job!
- 1350. How many planets do you think I'll have
to save for them to call me a hero again?
- 1351. You don't have to do big things
to be a hero, Qwark.
- 1352. Just the right ones.
- 1353. Oh.
- 1354. I don't know,
maybe it'll be worth something someday.
- 1355. Hmm.
- 1356. I must say that it is curious
- 1357. that the sudden cessation of velocity
relative to our inertia
- 1358. did not cause either of you to...
- 1359. Oh, dear.
- 1360. Don't worry, Cadet.
It happens to the best...
- 1361. Oh, that was terrible.
- 1362. Oh, boy.
- 1363. Make it stop!
- 1364. Should we go and join the others?
- 1365. I'd like to, but there's a promise
I have to keep to an old friend.
- 1366. I understand.
- 1367. Don't worry. I'm sure we'll run
into each other again someday.
- 1368. It's a small galaxy.
- 1369. Well, I suppose this is goodbye.
- 1370. You can let go now, Ratchet.
- 1371. Ah...
- 1372. Come on, what's the holdup?
- 1373. Paying good money for this.
- 1374. I haven't got all day!
- 1375. And that was the scene today
- 1376. as thousands gathered to welcome
home the Galactic Rangers,
- 1377. making their triumphant return
from saving our galaxy.
- 1378. Grateful citizens gathered
at the famed Hall of Heroes
- 1379. to mark this day that will live
in hearts and minds forever.
- 1380. As for Private Qwark,
the recently demoted Ranger
- 1381. will embark upon
his galaxy-wide apology tour
- 1382. while shamelessly promoting his new book,
- 1383. Listen, I Said I Was Sorry, All Right?
- 1384. When asked for a comment,
the former captain had this to offer.
- 1385. Prepare to be blown away
by my epic humility.
- 1386. There was, however, one curious
absence from today's festivities,
- 1387. that of new Ranger sensation
and media darling, Ratchet,
- 1388. leaving this reporter with one question.
- 1389. What does a Lombax do
after saving the galaxy?
- 1390. We may never know.
- 1391. And now, a story about a baby glypod
who can play the ukulele.
- 1392. Come on, we haven't got all day!
- 1393. We have 10 more proton scrubs to do before
lunch if we want to stay on schedule!
- 1394. I've got to be honest, I kind of thought
you'd be so touched by the gesture,
- 1395. you'd call us even.
- 1396. Well, you thought wrong, didn't you?
- 1397. Ah, keep your shirt on, I heard you.
You see these ears?
- 1398. Hey! Wait! Wait! Please wait for me!
I have abandonment issues!
- 1399. Might I offer a suggestion?
- 1400. Modifying that proton scrubber
with a Gadgetron quasar flash
- 1401. would increase your efficiency by 47.4%.
- 1402. A quasar flash, huh? Gee, I don't know.
- 1403. That kind of tech takes two to operate.
- 1404. And Grim's not as nimble as he used to be.
- 1405. Then perhaps I could
remain here and assist,
- 1406. if you do not mind me
staying around a while.
- 1407. You kidding?
- 1408. Things have been way too quiet
without you around.
- 1409. I do bring a certain level
of zing to the table, don't I?
- 1410. Yeah, Clank. You're a real wild one.
- 1411. Speaking of which,
- 1412. am I to assume that you have
retired from the Galactic Rangers?
- 1413. Nah. Once a Ranger, always a Ranger.
- 1414. Believe me, the minute somebody tries to
blow up another planet, I'll be ready to go.
- 1415. But, hey, what are the odds
of that happening?
- 1416. Precisely 87,534 to one.
- 1417. Yep. A real wild one.
- 1418. No! Get away from me!
- 1419. Do not stick that thing in...
- 1420. Oh! Oh! Oh!
- 1421. Quit trying to repair me, you moron!
- 1422. I am not a robot!
- 1423. Huh? Are you still here?
- 1424. All the logos and doohickeys
already went by.
- 1425. That means it's over. Move along.
- 1426. No extra little scene
at the end of the movie.
- 1427. If I find out who started that nonsense,
why, I'm going to plant my boot so far up...
- 1428. I said, beat it!
- 1429. Sheesh!
- 1430. Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.