1. Esteemed citizens of Quartu,Copy !req
2. I stand before you a proud Blarg,Copy !req
3. for tonight, we will twist
the very fabric of reality.Copy !req
4. We will defy nature with reckless abandon.Copy !req
5. We have also broken 16 galactic
statutes and one star ordinance,Copy !req
6. so I shouldn't see
anything about this online!Copy !req
7. Beautifully worded, sir.Copy !req
8. Hmm.Copy !req
9. In just a few moments,Copy !req
10. we will unleash a weapon
so powerful that it will take...Copy !req
11. Stanley, are you seriously still
texting after what I just said?Copy !req
12. Victor? If you please.Copy !req
13. Uh...Copy !req
14. Mommy.Copy !req
15. Dialing Mother.Copy !req
16. Hello, Horkelberg residence!Copy !req
17. Hello? Who is this?Copy !req
18. Herman, it's that man again.
I hear heavy breathing and...Copy !req
19. Ew! And chewing!Copy !req
20. That's it. I'm calling the police.Copy !req
21. Does anyone else feel like texting? Hmm?Copy !req
22. Show of hands?Copy !req
23. - Anyone?
- Uh-uh.Copy !req
24. Very well.Copy !req
25. Commence deplanetization!Copy !req
26. Ready the Deplanetizer!Copy !req
27. Seriously?Copy !req
28. 496, 497, 498, 499, 500.Copy !req
29. Come on. Is that all you got?Copy !req
30. I need you to give me 2,000,010%.Copy !req
31. One and two and three and four.Copy !req
32. Remember, if you feel
the burn, that's good.Copy !req
33. If you smell the burn, that's bad.Copy !req
34. Three, two, one.Copy !req
35. Okay, let's dig deep.Copy !req
36. Don't quit on me now.Copy !req
37. Can you feel it? Huh? Huh?Copy !req
38. Can you feel the burn?Copy !req
39. Are you kidding? I'm on fire.Copy !req
40. I can take anything you can dish out,
so bring it on!Copy !req
41. Okay, 2,000 more.Copy !req
42. 2,000?Copy !req
43. One and two, three and four.Copy !req
44. No pain, no gain.Copy !req
45. And we'll be right back
after these messages!Copy !req
46. Okay, bots! Let's do this!Copy !req
47. And lunge! And lunge!Copy !req
48. Ranger Workout will be right back!Copy !req
49. Burn!Copy !req
50. Planet Tenemule is no more.Copy !req
51. What?Copy !req
52. Hello. Dallas Wannamaker here.Copy !req
53. Tonight at 5:00, another uninhabited planet
is destroyed without warning or cause,Copy !req
54. marking the fourth in recent memory
of our once-peaceful galaxy.Copy !req
55. As a result, the President has requestedCopy !req
56. our ever-vigilant Galactic Rangers
increase their numbersCopy !req
57. from four to five.Copy !req
58. Really? Just five? All right.Copy !req
59. And now a message from the man himself,
Captain Qwark.Copy !req
60. Space, a wondrous realm
full of adventure, and peril,Copy !req
61. and, uh, big-ness.Copy !req
62. Captain Qwark!Copy !req
63. The Solana Galaxy is our home,
and as many of you know,Copy !req
64. it's in a state of crisis.Copy !req
65. The Galactic Rangers are looking for a new
recruit to help with the investigation.Copy !req
66. So if you're a small-time nobody
in search of adventure,Copy !req
67. come on down to the spaceport
and see me, Captain Qwark!Copy !req
68. - Cue montage!
- Cue montage!Copy !req
69. Our next stop,
Planet Veldin's Kyzil Plateau!Copy !req
70. Kyzil Plateau?Copy !req
71. That's right!Copy !req
72. The Kyzil Plateau!Copy !req
73. Ranger tryouts.Copy !req
74. This is huge.Copy !req
75. Galactic Ranger! Grab some sky.Copy !req
76. Galactic Ranger, punk. Put 'em...Copy !req
77. Whoa!Copy !req
78. Ranger down!Copy !req
79. Mission accomplished.Copy !req
80. Hello?Copy !req
81. I'm here to pick up my ship?Copy !req
82. I'll be there in one minute.Copy !req
83. Ah!Copy !req
84. Give or take.Copy !req
85. Hello? Hello?Copy !req
86. Hello?Copy !req
87. Hmm?Copy !req
88. Are you ready to have your mind blown?Copy !req
89. Eh. No.Copy !req
90. Whoo-ho-ho! Yeah!Copy !req
91. I'll take that as a yes.Copy !req
92. Boom!Copy !req
93. Protolux afterburners,
full Gadgetron weapon package,Copy !req
94. and a high-intensity
mag-booster so powerful,Copy !req
95. it can pick up a paperclip
from two kilocubits away.Copy !req
96. I think there's been a mistake.Copy !req
97. I came in to get my ejector seat repaired.Copy !req
98. Why repair something
when you can improve it?Copy !req
99. Come on, have a seat.Copy !req
100. Now, let's fire up that mag-booster!Copy !req
101. - Oh!
- Pretty sweet, right?Copy !req
102. I guess, but why do I need it?Copy !req
103. Well, you could...Copy !req
104. I mean, you know, if you ever...Copy !req
105. You know, I don't know.Copy !req
106. Whoa!Copy !req
107. No worries, I can buff that out.Copy !req
108. Maybe we should just...Copy !req
109. Power this sucker down.Copy !req
110. Oh, boy.Copy !req
111. Look out! Hello! Watch it!Copy !req
112. Hey, I've been looking for that.Copy !req
113. Greetings, Cadet!Copy !req
114. - What was that sound?
- Nothing.Copy !req
115. - Unrelated question, is your seatbelt on?
- Uh...Copy !req
116. Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes!Copy !req
117. Those aren't the brakes!Copy !req
118. I'm too old to die!Copy !req
119. You've got to be kidding me.Copy !req
120. How did you get a license?Copy !req
121. Whoa!Copy !req
122. Can you hit the kill switch, please?Copy !req
123. The fish witch?Copy !req
124. The kill switch!Copy !req
125. - Eh...
- On the dash!Copy !req
126. The drill hatch on the dish!Copy !req
127. Hang on, I can fix this.Copy !req
128. Your tail's in my face!Copy !req
129. Hey, the view's no prettier
down here, pal!Copy !req
130. There's a wall!Copy !req
131. Oh, boy.Copy !req
132. Yes!Copy !req
133. Whoa!Copy !req
134. Phew!Copy !req
135. That was a close one, huh?Copy !req
136. I want a refund!Copy !req
137. Yeah, that is going to
show up on my midyear review.Copy !req
138. You seem especially brooding today, Victor.Copy !req
139. Come! I have just the thing
to brighten your day!Copy !req
140. Our next target!Copy !req
141. Look at these waterfalls, the fjords,Copy !req
142. the rolling hills of Corvoxian snodgrass!Copy !req
143. This is exactly what I need.Copy !req
144. But, sir, that entire region is heavily
patrolled by the Galactic Rangers!Copy !req
145. We will have this planet!Copy !req
146. And we will take it
by going on the offensive.Copy !req
147. Our forces will strike
at the Galactic Rangers firstCopy !req
148. and remove them
from the equation altogether.Copy !req
149. Wait. Real battle?Copy !req
150. Metal hand against hand.Copy !req
151. I trust this pleases you?Copy !req
152. Of course it pleases me,
but we don't have any forces!Copy !req
153. You let me worry about that.Copy !req
154. In two days' time,
the Galactic Rangers will be destroyedCopy !req
155. and I'll be able to
complete my masterpiece!Copy !req
156. How many times, Ratchet? How many?Copy !req
157. Come on, he's fine!Copy !req
158. He landed in a pile of ivy.Copy !req
159. Poison ivy.Copy !req
160. Look, you're a great mechanic, you got
a lot of heart, but you're careless.Copy !req
161. "Careless," it's such an ugly word.Copy !req
162. I prefer "carefree."Copy !req
163. Too soon? Yeah, it was too soon.Copy !req
164. I know things haven't been easy for you,Copy !req
165. but you can't keep acting out
like this when I have a shop to run.Copy !req
166. What's with you lately?Copy !req
167. I just feel like I'm supposed to do more.Copy !req
168. I've always dreamt
of being a Galactic Ranger,Copy !req
169. doing big things, like Captain Qwark!Copy !req
170. You want an old mechanic's advice?Copy !req
171. Dream smaller.
It leads to less disappointment.Copy !req
172. Please, Grim.Copy !req
173. I just need one hour off so I can go
to the spaceport for tryouts.Copy !req
174. You promised you'd help me give proton
scrubs to every ship on the plateau!Copy !req
175. It's almost summer.
These people depend on us!Copy !req
176. First off, it's always summer.
We live in a desert.Copy !req
177. And second, that promise
is still in effect!Copy !req
178. It's a 100% valid promise,
and you can redeem it in one hour.Copy !req
179. Yes! You! You are a great friend, Grim.Copy !req
180. Don't let anyone tell you different.Copy !req
181. I'll be back before you know it!Copy !req
182. You're the best boss in the galaxy!Copy !req
183. An inspiration to us all!
Don't ever change!Copy !req
184. I'm okay!Copy !req
185. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
186. get on your feet, put your hands together,Copy !req
187. and give a big Planet Veldin welcomeCopy !req
188. to your Galactic Rangers!Copy !req
189. First up, she'll shoot first and ask
questions when she's good and ready.Copy !req
190. Cora Veralux!Copy !req
191. You loved him in Grapplemania,
you'll love him more as a Galactic Ranger.Copy !req
192. Get ready to feel the pain
of Brax "The Brute" Lectrus!Copy !req
193. Yeah, baby!Copy !req
194. And finally,Copy !req
195. ladies and gentlemen,
the savior of Solana,Copy !req
196. Captain Qwark!Copy !req
197. Hello, Veldin!Copy !req
198. Hello, Captain!Copy !req
199. He's on fire again.Copy !req
200. I know.Copy !req
201. My name is Copernicus Qwark, and yes,Copy !req
202. that was an impressive wall
of fire I just walked past.Copy !req
203. I'm going to be real
with you folks for a moment.Copy !req
204. When President Phyronix
recommended I take on a new ranger,Copy !req
205. I knew just where to go.Copy !req
206. That's right, we want you!Copy !req
207. Yeah!Copy !req
208. The galaxy is a perilous place.Copy !req
209. Invasion, space pirates, supernovas!Copy !req
210. I know what you're thinking,
"Do I have what it takes?"Copy !req
211. After all, you may not have
prevented Dr. NefariousCopy !req
212. from atomizing Aleero City.Copy !req
213. You may not have stopped Neftin ProgCopy !req
214. from rendering the entire population
of Aridia color-blind!Copy !req
215. Twice!Copy !req
216. After all, you may not have this
chiseled jaw or godlike pectoral region,Copy !req
217. but if you have heart,
then you have what it takes.Copy !req
218. You don't have what it takes.Copy !req
219. But I have heart.Copy !req
220. Yes, but unfortunately
that heart is encasedCopy !req
221. in a weak, muscleless
mass of inexperience.Copy !req
222. Plus, there's your history to consider.Copy !req
223. You got a long line of citations here.Copy !req
224. Possession of an illegal
gravity repulsor...Copy !req
225. Oh, that was a misunderstanding.Copy !req
226. I thought that space pirate
was on the level!Copy !req
227. Operation of a black-market accelerator.Copy !req
228. "Operation" is a strong word.Copy !req
229. It blew up as soon as I turned it on!Copy !req
230. Willful disruption
of the space-time continuum?Copy !req
231. That is a funny story.Copy !req
232. You're reckless, you're a loose cannon,
and you're dangerous.Copy !req
233. That's my shtick.Copy !req
234. Wait! Just give me a chance!Copy !req
235. Sorry, no time! Galaxy in jeopardy!Copy !req
236. Get back out there, and remember,
you can do anything...Copy !req
237. As long as you're me. Next!Copy !req
238. I have no less than three lethal katasCopy !req
239. I would like to demonstrate for you today.Copy !req
240. Get me out of these tiny blue-neck towns.Copy !req
241. Dr. Nefarious!Copy !req
242. The mad scientist who made
all of this possible!Copy !req
243. "Mad" suggests cognitive impairment.Copy !req
244. I'm more of a vengeful scientist.Copy !req
245. I trust you're here to meet the troops.Copy !req
246. Three hundred sentient warbots,Copy !req
247. built using the finest raritanium
in the galaxy,Copy !req
248. and programmed to assassinate
the Galactic Rangers.Copy !req
249. Proton-powered, rust-proof,
and laser-guided.Copy !req
250. Each of these perfect creationsCopy !req
251. is an efficient,
remorseless killing machine.Copy !req
252. Remorseless killing machine...Copy !req
253. Makes me want to have children of my own.Copy !req
254. But will they get the job done?Copy !req
255. I'd hate to have to send you
back where I found you.Copy !req
256. State your prime objective.Copy !req
257. Prime objective, destroy Galactic Rangers.Copy !req
258. Inspection complete. Weapon issued.Copy !req
259. My warbots know every offensive
tactic in the Ranger handbook.Copy !req
260. They won't just kill the Rangers...Copy !req
261. Target acquired.Copy !req
262. They'll annihilate them!Copy !req
263. Nice. They killed the lights, too.Copy !req
264. Burn.Copy !req
265. Repairbot!Copy !req
266. - Ah!
- Now we're talking.Copy !req
267. Target acquired.Copy !req
268. Oh, my...Copy !req
269. State your prime objective.Copy !req
270. Destroy Galactic Rangers.Copy !req
271. State your prime objective.Copy !req
272. Destroy Galactic Rangers.Copy !req
273. State your prime...Copy !req
274. Hmm...Copy !req
275. Hello.Copy !req
276. Defect detected.Copy !req
277. Preparing for immediate
destruction in three, two...Copy !req
278. Hey! Wait!Copy !req
279. Oh, a defect!Copy !req
280. Go play, Victor.Copy !req
281. No...Copy !req
282. Ahh!Copy !req
283. I'm coming for you, defect!Copy !req
284. Oh! Ooh!Copy !req
285. Hmm.Copy !req
286. Defect!Copy !req
287. Computer, set coordinates
for the Galactic Ranger home base.Copy !req
288. Destination set.Copy !req
289. We will never make it, but,
hey, what are you gonna do?Copy !req
290. Oh, dear.Copy !req
291. Sayonara, amigo.Copy !req
292. Ratchet...Copy !req
293. So, you're off to save the galaxy.Copy !req
294. Turns out you were right.
I should dream smaller.Copy !req
295. I'll never be a Ranger.Copy !req
296. What?Copy !req
297. Whoa!Copy !req
298. Danger detected. Danger detected.Copy !req
299. I told you we'd never make it,
but did you listen to me? No.Copy !req
300. Hello?Copy !req
301. Anyone in there? Whoa!Copy !req
302. Prepare for imminent death.Copy !req
303. There's got to be
a better way to say that.Copy !req
304. Sorry.Copy !req
305. Prepare for imminent death. How's that?Copy !req
306. Five, four, three, two, one...Copy !req
307. No vector shell damage.
Sister board appears to be intact.Copy !req
308. Ah!Copy !req
309. I must get to Aleero City!Copy !req
310. They are in danger!Copy !req
311. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey, who's in danger?Copy !req
312. An army is coming. I must warn them!Copy !req
313. Hang on, slow down.
You've been in a crash.Copy !req
314. What do you say we get you
back to my garage?Copy !req
315. I'll run a diagnostic
and have you fixed up in no time.Copy !req
316. Thank you. I appreciate the assistance.Copy !req
317. It's no problem. So what do I call you?Copy !req
318. I suppose my proper designation
is Warbot Defect B5429...Copy !req
319. Maybe I'll just call you Clank.Copy !req
320. My name's Ratchet.Copy !req
321. Uh...Copy !req
322. Up and down.Copy !req
323. Yeah, there you go. You're a natural.Copy !req
324. Okay, that's enough.Copy !req
325. Or just keep shaking. That's cool, too.Copy !req
326. Almost got it.Copy !req
327. And... There!Copy !req
328. How do you feel?Copy !req
329. Fully operational.Copy !req
330. Sweet.Copy !req
331. So, what are you doing
all the way out here in the sticks?Copy !req
332. I am on a mission of galactic importance.Copy !req
333. "Galactic importance"?Copy !req
334. Okay. Oh, boy.
You must have ruptured your CPU.Copy !req
335. How many fingers am I holding up?Copy !req
336. Uh... Two. But I fail to see
the relevance of the question.Copy !req
337. Chairman Drek has
built an army of warbots.Copy !req
338. They're going to assassinate
the Galactic Rangers tomorrow.Copy !req
339. Oh! That kind of galactic importance!Copy !req
340. Well, why didn't you say so?
I can totally help!Copy !req
341. Oh, I could not ask a civilian to get
involved in something so dangerous.Copy !req
342. Well... No, I'm not just a civilian.Copy !req
343. The Rangers are actually my friends!Copy !req
344. Why do you think I have
so many pictures of them?Copy !req
345. But why are you not in any of them?Copy !req
346. Well, someone had to
take the picture, right?Copy !req
347. I mean, come on. I even have a ship.Copy !req
348. It disassembles so it can
infiltrate enemy strongholds.Copy !req
349. So, what do you say?Copy !req
350. I understand what the President wants,Copy !req
351. but what are the odds of actually finding
a qualified Ranger way out in the boonies?Copy !req
352. After all, there's nothing
the three of us can't handle...Copy !req
353. Oh!Copy !req
354. I am your biggest fan.Copy !req
355. It's touching me. Get it off. Get it off!Copy !req
356. Move it! Move it! We've got hostiles!
We've got hostiles!Copy !req
357. Go! Go! Go!Copy !req
358. Enemy warship! Take cover, citizen!Copy !req
359. I love you!Copy !req
360. Target acquired.Copy !req
361. Hmm...Copy !req
362. Hmm.Copy !req
363. Hmm?Copy !req
364. - What?
- Apologies.Copy !req
365. I have not been able to locate
your species in my database.Copy !req
366. I get that a lot.
There aren't many of us left.Copy !req
367. Not in this galaxy, anyway.Copy !req
368. I'm a Lombax.Copy !req
369. A Lombax?Copy !req
370. Fascinating.Copy !req
371. Yeah. I crashed on Veldin
when I was just a baby.Copy !req
372. No note, no message, no name...Copy !req
373. Kinda like you.Copy !req
374. Approaching destination.Copy !req
375. Whoa!Copy !req
376. Aleero City!Copy !req
377. Yes, it certainly is.Copy !req
378. No way!Copy !req
379. It is the invasion. We are too late.Copy !req
380. Target acquired.Copy !req
381. You knocked on the wrong door, hombre.Copy !req
382. How was that? Did that sound cool?Copy !req
383. Oh, boy.Copy !req
384. Target...Copy !req
385. Target acquired.Copy !req
386. Target...Copy !req
387. Target...Copy !req
388. - Brax to the max!
- Max!Copy !req
389. Awesome!Copy !req
390. Fire!Copy !req
391. Bring me the captain's head,
or I'll take yours as a replacement.Copy !req
392. Wilhelm!Copy !req
393. I got these guys.Copy !req
394. Welcome to the Hall of Heroes...Copy !req
395. Oops. I must've forgotten
to install the targeting software.Copy !req
396. Here, take the controls for a sec.Copy !req
397. Oh. I... Um...Copy !req
398. Ow! Hey! What's going on up there?Copy !req
399. Well, unfortunately
my piloting skills are,Copy !req
400. shall we say, slightly underdeveloped.Copy !req
401. Yeah, I think we can
definitely agree on that.Copy !req
402. - Whoa!
- You maniac!Copy !req
403. Ratchet, we are clearly
not prepared for this.Copy !req
404. We should have contacted the Rangers
to warn them of the attack.Copy !req
405. Yeah, like they'd know who we are.Copy !req
406. But you said they were your friends.Copy !req
407. What?Copy !req
408. I think you're quoting me out of context.Copy !req
409. The Rangers are actually my friends!Copy !req
410. Do you record everything I say?Copy !req
411. Do you record everything I say?Copy !req
412. We're going down!Copy !req
413. Your sense of direction is impeccable.Copy !req
414. I can fix this!Copy !req
415. That was awesome!Copy !req
416. Finish them!Copy !req
417. Ratchet, I believe I may have an idea.Copy !req
418. Your weapon package
includes a mag-booster.Copy !req
419. I am rewriting the software to isolate the
raritanium alloy used to manufacture us.Copy !req
420. Great idea, Clank!Copy !req
421. Bring it on!Copy !req
422. There's too many of them!Copy !req
423. Hold steady, Rangers!Copy !req
424. Prepare to die, Galactic losers!Copy !req
425. Come on, come on!Copy !req
426. Executing command, and engage mag-booster.Copy !req
427. Is it working?Copy !req
428. Oh!Copy !req
429. I do believe it is.Copy !req
430. Target acquired.Copy !req
431. Huh?Copy !req
432. No way.Copy !req
433. - Yeah!
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
434. You're getting this, right?Copy !req
435. Two civilians are saving the city!Copy !req
436. There are 300 heavily
armed warbots gaining on us!Copy !req
437. I know! Isn't it great?Copy !req
438. Get ready to return to sender!Copy !req
439. Terminating mag-booster on my mark!Copy !req
440. Three, two, one...Copy !req
441. Mark!Copy !req
442. No, no...Copy !req
443. No!Copy !req
444. What happened?Copy !req
445. You got to be kidding me!Copy !req
446. Get out.Copy !req
447. Taxi!Copy !req
448. Ah!Copy !req
449. Hmm?Copy !req
450. All right, everyone, let's give
these heroes some breathing room.Copy !req
451. I'm happy to field all questions
on their behalf.Copy !req
452. Captain Qwark!
Juanita Alvaro, HoloVid Nightly.Copy !req
453. The Blarg have been underground
for over 50 years.Copy !req
454. Could their return be linked
to the destroyed planets?Copy !req
455. I think that's being a little alarmist,
don't you, Juanita?Copy !req
456. Begging your pardon, Captain,
but Drek is responsible.Copy !req
457. And his attack today proves
that he is only getting started.Copy !req
458. Now, now! We must all stay calm.
Everything is under control.Copy !req
459. Captain Qwark! Dallas Wannamaker here.Copy !req
460. Does that mean you'll be asking
these two heroes to join the Rangers?Copy !req
461. Say what now?Copy !req
462. Well, I...Copy !req
463. I... Well, I...Copy !req
464. I don't see why not.Copy !req
465. You heard it here, folks!Copy !req
466. The search for a new
Galactic Ranger is over!Copy !req
467. Aleero City will never forget
the day it was saved by a...Copy !req
468. A cat thingy.Copy !req
469. How did this happen?Copy !req
470. Someone explain it to me! You!Copy !req
471. You're supposed to
understand how they think!Copy !req
472. How did you not see this coming?Copy !req
473. And Victor!Copy !req
474. Do you know how many candidates
you beat out for your position?Copy !req
475. I could have hired the Zeezils Brothers!Copy !req
476. It's enough to make me
want to vaporize someone!Copy !req
477. We're putting our project on hold.Copy !req
478. I'm ordering all remaining warbots to the
Deplanetizer until the heat dies down.Copy !req
479. Before we make any rash decisions,Copy !req
480. I wonder if you'd permit me
to troubleshoot this for you.Copy !req
481. Go on.Copy !req
482. Our question is simple.Copy !req
483. How do you destroy a team of heroes?Copy !req
484. Whoa! Whoa! Well, lots of ways, really.Copy !req
485. Chains, knives, guns, an enormous rock?Copy !req
486. Rock...Copy !req
487. The answer is "from within!"Copy !req
488. If we continue to fight them with muscle,
we'll lose every time.Copy !req
489. But if we turn one of
their own against them...Copy !req
490. Of course, we'd need a weak link.Copy !req
491. A sad simpleton who'd believe
whatever we tell him.Copy !req
492. A corruptible moron.Copy !req
493. But who?Copy !req
494. Who?Copy !req
495. Who?Copy !req
496. Hmm.Copy !req
497. Ah!Copy !req
498. I'm getting an idea, boys!Copy !req
499. You're a genius, sir.Copy !req
500. I know. I know!Copy !req
501. Our training program
usually lasts a full year,Copy !req
502. but we've been cleared to attack
Drek Industries in three days.Copy !req
503. That means you two are getting
the accelerated course.Copy !req
504. We're going to be trained by Brax Lectrus?Copy !req
505. The guy's a legend!Copy !req
506. I do not suppose you offer
introductory courses in aviation?Copy !req
507. - No offense, little guy...
- "To the max!"Copy !req
508. but I don't think
flying's really your thing.Copy !req
509. Captain Qwark suggested we put you
in a position a little less...Copy !req
510. Dangerous?Copy !req
511. Whoa!Copy !req
512. Ha! That's right, LivesAtHome472.Copy !req
513. What's the matter?
Don't like getting your butt kicked?Copy !req
514. What are you going to do,
cry to your mommy?Copy !req
515. Wait, are you really crying?Copy !req
516. Hey, Elaris.Copy !req
517. Hi, Brax! Is that my new assistant?Copy !req
518. Greetings. Your office is most, uh...Copy !req
519. Impressive.Copy !req
520. Elaris here is in charge of developing
our gear and providing tactical support.Copy !req
521. Usually it's the former.Copy !req
522. The Rangers are
the shoot-first-think-later type.Copy !req
523. I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to sound like that.Copy !req
524. Like what now?Copy !req
525. Come on. I'll show you around.Copy !req
526. Let's go, Cadet.
Time to make you a Ranger.Copy !req
527. So, this is the...Copy !req
528. Got to keep an eye on them.
Oh. And over here, over here...Copy !req
529. I'll see you in a bit!Copy !req
530. We're going to have so much fun!Copy !req
531. Well, good luck.Copy !req
532. Welcome, Cadet!Copy !req
533. Let's get you into your new protosuit.Copy !req
534. Your protosuit is the most advanced
combat armor on the market.Copy !req
535. And it comes in
all the latest fall colors!Copy !req
536. Sweet.Copy !req
537. A neural sensor in your helmet
reads your thoughtsCopy !req
538. and telequips the desired
weapon into your hands.Copy !req
539. Try equipping your Combuster.Copy !req
540. There you go.Copy !req
541. Combuster equipped.Copy !req
542. Wicked.Copy !req
543. The Combuster is the backbone
of the Rangers' arsenal,Copy !req
544. allowing you to hit targets
in a short to medium range.Copy !req
545. Whoa!Copy !req
546. This is embarrassing.Copy !req
547. The Alpha Disruptor
fires a deadly stream of plasma,Copy !req
548. allowing you to hit
multiple targets at once.Copy !req
549. - Whoa!
- See? He's got it.Copy !req
550. Sort of.Copy !req
551. This little baby's the Negotiator.Copy !req
552. Fires multiple long-range,
high-impact rockets.Copy !req
553. Great versus heavy armor.Copy !req
554. Buzz Blades!Copy !req
555. Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no!Copy !req
556. Whoa!Copy !req
557. The Warmonger.Copy !req
558. Ah!Copy !req
559. I dunno. The Spiral of Death?Copy !req
560. Whoa!Copy !req
561. Fusion Grenade?Copy !req
562. - Wow.
- Dude.Copy !req
563. How am I doing?Copy !req
564. So this is really your office?Copy !req
565. Eh. Budget cutbacks.Copy !req
566. I don't mind it as much as
the last guy who had this job.Copy !req
567. Dr. Nefarious.Copy !req
568. Drove him crazy.Copy !req
569. Literally. He turned evil.Copy !req
570. Oh. But don't worry.
It won't happen to me.Copy !req
571. Hmm.Copy !req
572. That's strange.Copy !req
573. What is it?Copy !req
574. I'm running a simulationCopy !req
575. based on the fragments we located
from each destroyed planet.Copy !req
576. Each one is missing a famous landmass.Copy !req
577. Well, perhaps the pieces
are still out there.Copy !req
578. There is a lot of space in space.Copy !req
579. I guess.Copy !req
580. But it's worth bringing up to the captain,
don't you think?Copy !req
581. - Out of the way!
- Hey!Copy !req
582. Watch out! Heads up!Copy !req
583. Coming through!Copy !req
584. Whoa!Copy !req
585. Just relax! Everyone, stay calm!Copy !req
586. Something epic is happening!Copy !req
587. Pretty cool, huh, Clank?Copy !req
588. That's the stuff.Copy !req
589. Flying in the air like a majestic bird,Copy !req
590. a majestic bird who knows
every fighting style.Copy !req
591. Watch the master.Copy !req
592. Captain, Elaris and I...Copy !req
593. - Can't talk.
- ... have some information.Copy !req
594. Doing a flyby.Copy !req
595. Sir! If you could come down and speak
to us for three minutes...Copy !req
596. And there are the sprinklers.Copy !req
597. But, hey, good news!Copy !req
598. You already have a mop, huh?Copy !req
599. So, there's that.Copy !req
600. Please! If we could have just a minute
to discuss our findings.Copy !req
601. The only thing I'm interested in finding
is the Hall of Heroes cafeteria.Copy !req
602. Let's go, Cadet. It's three floors up
and it's meatloaf day!Copy !req
603. Meatloaf!Copy !req
604. Do they always treat you so poorly?Copy !req
605. Oh! No!Copy !req
606. Yes.Copy !req
607. The new Galactic
Ranger Ratchet action figure!Copy !req
608. There he is!Copy !req
609. Guys, it's Ratchet!Copy !req
610. Hey-hey!Copy !req
611. Ratchet, we love you!Copy !req
612. Boy, for a big city,
the people here sure are friendly.Copy !req
613. And rather loud. Oh!Copy !req
614. Sorry! Thought you were a trash can!Copy !req
615. Indeed.Copy !req
616. Wow. Look at that.Copy !req
617. What do you know, Clank? I'm famous.Copy !req
618. Yes. Though I am sure it is exciting,
my cultural database showsCopy !req
619. that fame is highly overrated
and ultimately not rewarding.Copy !req
620. Would you agree?Copy !req
621. Oh, totally. Way overrated.Copy !req
622. Hey, do you think
they'll name a street after me?Copy !req
623. Or a cologne?Copy !req
624. "Ratchet. Smell like a hero."Copy !req
625. There he is!Copy !req
626. Can I smell you?Copy !req
627. Easy, now. There's no rush.Copy !req
628. Believe me, I could do this all day.Copy !req
629. Uh?Copy !req
630. Sorry, folks, but, unfortunately,
we don't have time for this nonsense.Copy !req
631. I'm about to reveal my awesome plan
for the attack on Drek Industries,Copy !req
632. unless, of course,
anyone would like my autograph.Copy !req
633. Good, because we don't have time.Copy !req
634. You the man, Ratchet!Copy !req
635. I love you all!Copy !req
636. He's taller in person!Copy !req
637. Hmm.Copy !req
638. All right, Rangers,
our plan of attack is simple.Copy !req
639. HALO drop into Skorg City,
fire a whole mess o' bullets,Copy !req
640. and take Drek into custody so we
can be home in time for waffles.Copy !req
641. - Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah! Yeah, waffles!Copy !req
642. Oh, that's good.Copy !req
643. Wait, that's our plan?Copy !req
644. Yes, it is.Copy !req
645. Pardon me, Captain,
but Chairman Drek is cunning.Copy !req
646. He will be prepared for our assault.Copy !req
647. Look, I think it is beyond adorable
that you decided to do all this homework.Copy !req
648. But big heroes do big things.Copy !req
649. Each second we waste talking is a second
Drek could use to destroy another planet.Copy !req
650. But wouldn't it be worth taking
five minutes to review our plan?Copy !req
651. We have holoschematics...Copy !req
652. Does anyone else feel like we
should have shot something by now?Copy !req
653. Because it really feels like we
should have shot something by now.Copy !req
654. Thank you!Copy !req
655. Let's take a vote.Copy !req
656. All those in favor of
kicking in Drek's front doorCopy !req
657. with a massive arsenal and restoring
peace to a galaxy in turmoil, say "Aye."Copy !req
658. Aye!Copy !req
659. All those in favor of nerding it up here
with some pie charts, say "Nay."Copy !req
660. - Nay.
- Motion passes.Copy !req
661. We assault Drek Industries tonight!Copy !req
662. Lock and load, Rangers!Copy !req
663. Suit up and rally in the aft airlock.Copy !req
664. Although I am happy to help
with the mission in any capacity,Copy !req
665. I find this arrangement
slightly embarrassing.Copy !req
666. I'm sorry, but you're the only one
who's been inside Drek's warbot factory.Copy !req
667. Besides, this is the best way
for you to keep up.Copy !req
668. Whoa!Copy !req
669. Nice backpack.Copy !req
670. Remember, your thrusters
are powered by Ratchet's suit,Copy !req
671. so don't try any solo flights. Okay?Copy !req
672. I shall endeavor to...Copy !req
673. He's in good hands, Elaris.Copy !req
674. You sure you want to take
the, uh, extra baggage?Copy !req
675. No offense, but we're dropping
straight into a cauldron.Copy !req
676. And do you know
what's inside that cauldron?Copy !req
677. - Is it danger?
- It's...Copy !req
678. Yes, it's danger.Copy !req
679. Let's roll!Copy !req
680. All right, team. Let's bring it in.Copy !req
681. Remember, our target is Chairman Drek!Copy !req
682. Ready, Rangers?Copy !req
683. On the count of three.Copy !req
684. Three!Copy !req
685. Keep up, rookie!Copy !req
686. All right, pal, you ready?Copy !req
687. Well, I...Copy !req
688. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
689. Yeah!Copy !req
690. Yeah!Copy !req
691. Yeah!Copy !req
692. Whoo!Copy !req
693. Ah!Copy !req
694. I'm in. Any sign of Drek?Copy !req
695. Negative.Copy !req
696. Place looks deserted.Copy !req
697. My internal coordinates system
indicates a right turn up ahead.Copy !req
698. Eh. My gut says this way, Clank.Copy !req
699. Glad you're getting in touch with your
feelings, newbie, but we're turning right.Copy !req
700. Because?Copy !req
701. Because I'm your senior Ranger
and I say so. That's why.Copy !req
702. Okay! Okay.Copy !req
703. Yeesh! Cranky.Copy !req
704. - What's that?
- Huh? Oh.Copy !req
705. I said, "thank ye" for
those words of wisdom.Copy !req
706. Good save.Copy !req
707. This feels too easy.Copy !req
708. Why was there no alarm?Copy !req
709. It is strange.Copy !req
710. Everyone, stay sharp.Copy !req
711. Initiate Phase One.Copy !req
712. Let's scatter the cockroaches.Copy !req
713. Just push the button, Zed!Copy !req
714. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
715. Zurkon, zurkon.Copy !req
716. Zurkon, zurkon.Copy !req
717. Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon...Copy !req
718. Anyone hear that?Copy !req
719. Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon.Copy !req
720. Engaging motion scan.Copy !req
721. I'm getting something.Copy !req
722. Yeah.Copy !req
723. Me, too.Copy !req
724. Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon.Copy !req
725. Zurkon, zurkon, zurkon...Copy !req
726. Huh?Copy !req
727. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
728. Zurkons!Copy !req
729. Mr. Zurkon is looking to kill you!Copy !req
730. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
731. Boom, baby!Copy !req
732. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
733. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
734. Yeah!Copy !req
735. Three-time galactic champ up in here!Copy !req
736. Ranger identified. Terminate!Copy !req
737. What's a Zurkon?Copy !req
738. Robotic bodyguards.
They protect whoever deploys them.Copy !req
739. Mr. Zurkon has you now.Copy !req
740. - Zurkon hates Galactic Rangers!
- Heads up!Copy !req
741. Whoa!Copy !req
742. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
743. Nice shot. Do that again,
and I'll shoot you myself.Copy !req
744. What is this place?Copy !req
745. Huh.Copy !req
746. If I may...Copy !req
747. Hmm.Copy !req
748. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
749. Stupid Ranger. Time to die!Copy !req
750. Mr. Zurkon delivers a symphony of pain!Copy !req
751. Don't move.Copy !req
752. I'm listening.Copy !req
753. Captain Qwark.Copy !req
754. I've been watching you
these past few days,Copy !req
755. and I think it's simply dreadful what...Copy !req
756. - Zed!
- Sorry.Copy !req
757. Simply dreadful what
Ratchet has done to you.Copy !req
758. He's made people
forget who the real hero is.Copy !req
759. All you wanted to do was protect
the galaxy, and how do they repay you?Copy !req
760. By dropping you for some...
Well, I don't even know what he is!Copy !req
761. Even if that were true, I could
never betray the citizens of Solana.Copy !req
762. My friend, betraying them is how
you get them to love you.Copy !req
763. Allow me to introduce you to my personal
team of Blargian PR professionals.Copy !req
764. Lads, tell him how we work our magic!Copy !req
765. As far as I can see,
you're the victim here.Copy !req
766. That Lombax pushed you to do this.Copy !req
767. He did?Copy !req
768. You were desperate,
emotionally scarred, depressed, even!Copy !req
769. You didn't know what you were doing.Copy !req
770. The betrayal was a cry for help.Copy !req
771. - It was?
- It will be!Copy !req
772. A tell-all book,
a few guest appearances...Copy !req
773. A holo-film.Copy !req
774. No! A trilogy!Copy !req
775. In six months' time, you won't
just be Captain Qwark the hero...Copy !req
776. You'll be Captain Qwark the survivor. Huh?Copy !req
777. No one needs to get hurt, Captain.Copy !req
778. We can evacuate the planetCopy !req
779. and give these people a new place to live,
a better place to live.Copy !req
780. Do we have a deal?Copy !req
781. Huh?Copy !req
782. Hmm.Copy !req
783. Fascinating.Copy !req
784. These are plans for something
called a "Deplanetizer."Copy !req
785. Deplanetizer?Copy !req
786. Why would Drek be destroying planets?Copy !req
787. Not destroy.Copy !req
788. It seems that Drek is trying
to build the perfect planet.Copy !req
789. Come on, let's move out!Copy !req
790. Hey! Wait for me!Copy !req
791. Wait! Wait!Copy !req
792. Sorry, Zed!Copy !req
793. I'll write you an excellent
letter of recommendation!Copy !req
794. You don't even have my email!Copy !req
795. It's Spacegangsta_72@Zed.com!Copy !req
796. Oh!Copy !req
797. Hi.Copy !req
798. Um...Copy !req
799. Before you start in
with the, um, questioning,Copy !req
800. it's important you understand
that I am faithful to my employer.Copy !req
801. And that's how I found out
I was lactose intolerant,Copy !req
802. though I think the parakeet
would've died anyway,Copy !req
803. because he was always flying
into the window, which is...Copy !req
804. She wouldn't drop him, would she?Copy !req
805. Maybe.Copy !req
806. When I said, "Tell us everything."
I meant Drek's target list.Copy !req
807. Now, out with it!Copy !req
808. Probably.Copy !req
809. I would be more than happy to
supply you with the target list,Copy !req
810. but, unfortunately, I signed a legally
binding non-disclosure agreement.Copy !req
811. I want the rest of his targets.Copy !req
812. - Now!
- Please.Copy !req
813. This was supposed to be a temp job
until I got my singing career on track.Copy !req
814. Okay, okay!Copy !req
815. Novalis.Copy !req
816. He wants Novalis.Copy !req
817. Novalis?Copy !req
818. Novalis is populated.Copy !req
819. Yes, 43,618,924 people, to be exact.Copy !req
820. The Schnorkelsons had twins this morning.Copy !req
821. We've got to move.Copy !req
822. Hey! Captain Qwark! Buddy!Copy !req
823. Remember me?Copy !req
824. From Drek's office?
Where you signed that contract and...Copy !req
825. Shh!Copy !req
826. Not the face!Copy !req
827. Dear Diary... I mean, journal. Yes.Copy !req
828. Dear Journal, I've been
having the mood swings again.Copy !req
829. One minute, I'm laughing hysterically.Copy !req
830. The next minute, I'm laughing maniacally.Copy !req
831. I guess it's because everything
is going exactly according to plan.Copy !req
832. Soon, I'll be long gone,Copy !req
833. and the entire solar system
will be nothingCopy !req
834. but a giant cloud of dust and gas.Copy !req
835. Excuse me, Doctor.Copy !req
836. Chairman Drek would like to see you.Copy !req
837. How long have you been standing there?Copy !req
838. I came in during the part
about dust and gas?Copy !req
839. It's my dietary journal.Copy !req
840. I keep a very strict record of everything
I eat and which foods give me...Copy !req
841. Dust and gas?Copy !req
842. Exactly.Copy !req
843. Cool.Copy !req
844. General Qwark moves into position.Copy !req
845. Ooh.Copy !req
846. Cleverly, he deactivates the weapons
system, and the crowd goes wild.Copy !req
847. Yeah! Yeah! Qwark is the best! Yeah!Copy !req
848. Novalis Control, evac shuttle
convoy 262 departing orbit.Copy !req
849. Evacuation 82% complete.Copy !req
850. Fighters ready to rock.
So what's the plan, Captain?Copy !req
851. Uh? Oh... The plan?Copy !req
852. Yes. Here's what
we're going to do, Rangers.Copy !req
853. I'll go in first and try to reason
with this Drek character,Copy !req
854. see if we can talk this out, mano-a-mano.Copy !req
855. Talk? I don't follow, sir.Copy !req
856. Sir, he's blown up five planets already!Copy !req
857. I think we're done talking.Copy !req
858. Captain, if we can just take 30 seconds,
I think I have an idea.Copy !req
859. Sure. Go ahead.Copy !req
860. Well, I was looking at the schematics
of the Deplanetizer...Copy !req
861. - Yeah.
- ... and it occurred to me...Copy !req
862. And mute.Copy !req
863. I'm going in.Copy !req
864. Captain, wait! Back-up is on the way!
We should...Copy !req
865. Hostile ship on approach, sir.Copy !req
866. Should we fire proton cannons?Copy !req
867. Not yet.Copy !req
868. I've got a shiny new puppet down there,
and I'm about to put on a show.Copy !req
869. "Starting secret mission.Copy !req
870. "Hero work ain't easy.Copy !req
871. "#Humblebrag, #Killinglt,Copy !req
872. "#NoFilter, #NotAMole."Copy !req
873. - Ah!
- I'm not a sellout!Copy !req
874. Captain Qwark!Copy !req
875. You performed marvelously.Copy !req
876. Be honest, are you a professional actor?Copy !req
877. Well, I did dabble in my share
of theater back in grade school.Copy !req
878. Every year, I'd play the dad...Copy !req
879. Yes, an enthralling saga I'd love to hear!Copy !req
880. But first, you've disabled
the weapons systemCopy !req
881. on the Rangers' fleet, right?Copy !req
882. Oh, just as a safety precaution, mind you.Copy !req
883. We wouldn't want a tense situation
to escalate out of control.Copy !req
884. Of course, we wouldn't want that.Copy !req
885. And I have your word that my team
isn't going to get hurt, right?Copy !req
886. Oh, my dear captain!Copy !req
887. Where's the trust?Copy !req
888. Destroy them all.Copy !req
889. Contact! Contact!Copy !req
890. All units, engage.Copy !req
891. Error. Error. Weapons system compromised.Copy !req
892. Cannons! Missiles!Copy !req
893. Weapon systems are negative
across the board!Copy !req
894. Same here! I got nothing!Copy !req
895. We've been sabotaged. Rangers, fall back!Copy !req
896. Break off! Break off!Copy !req
897. The Rangers are retreating, sir.Copy !req
898. Brilliant.Copy !req
899. Hmm.Copy !req
900. Get me a holo-scan of that ship.Copy !req
901. Right away, sir.Copy !req
902. Well, lookee-lookee.Copy !req
903. What have we here?Copy !req
904. The defect.Copy !req
905. Ah, yes, the one that got away.Copy !req
906. Not this time.Copy !req
907. Are you sure, Victor?Copy !req
908. He looks awfully dangerous.Copy !req
909. Teleport me to the ship.Copy !req
910. It's impossible, sir. It's shielded.Copy !req
911. Just get me close!Copy !req
912. No, I can't leave him.Copy !req
913. Ratchet, what are you doing?Copy !req
914. I'm going in!Copy !req
915. Ratchet, don't do this.Copy !req
916. If you give us a minute,
we can work out an assault plan!Copy !req
917. There's no time!Copy !req
918. Captain Qwark is in there fighting
an entire army on his own!Copy !req
919. Permission to land?Copy !req
920. Permission granted.Copy !req
921. Mmm.Copy !req
922. Who's on foot duty?Copy !req
923. Tootsie rub, come on.Copy !req
924. Ah!Copy !req
925. Their defensive fire is too strong.Copy !req
926. Pull back! Your fighter won't make it.Copy !req
927. I don't have to land!Copy !req
928. I just have to get close.Copy !req
929. Hull integrity at 2%.Copy !req
930. Prepare to teleject.Copy !req
931. Ratchet, please, listen to Elaris.Copy !req
932. The odds of surviving a head-on assault
is roughly 600,993 to one!Copy !req
933. Big heroes do big things.Copy !req
934. Three, two, one...Copy !req
935. He made it!Copy !req
936. What was that?Copy !req
937. I do not know. I will investigate.Copy !req
938. Probably just the ship settling.Copy !req
939. Nothing to be alarmed about.Copy !req
940. Whoa!Copy !req
941. Ah!Copy !req
942. Defect!Copy !req
943. Oh, my.Copy !req
944. I am coming for you, Defect!Copy !req
945. Uh, I believe we may have a problem.Copy !req
946. Coming through!Copy !req
947. Star Cracker Chamber,Copy !req
948. 47 meters southwest,
then slight right ahead.Copy !req
949. Ratchet? Where are you?Copy !req
950. Can't talk! I'm almost
at the control center.Copy !req
951. Captain Qwark did something to the ship!
Nothing's working!Copy !req
952. And I think Clank's in trouble!Copy !req
953. Roger that! As soon as I stop
the Deplanetizer from firing,Copy !req
954. I'll be right back to help.Copy !req
955. Deplanetizer now online.Copy !req
956. Bravo, my boy!Copy !req
957. Bravo!Copy !req
958. I deal with my share of
morons on a daily basis,Copy !req
959. but this?Copy !req
960. This is seriously next level!Copy !req
961. Take him.Copy !req
962. Where are you?Copy !req
963. Come out and fight!Copy !req
964. You want a fight? I'll give you a fight.Copy !req
965. No free rides!Copy !req
966. Hmm.Copy !req
967. Die!Copy !req
968. Get back here!Copy !req
969. I'm going to make you wish
you were never created!Copy !req
970. Thundersmack equipped.Copy !req
971. You're nothing but a pathetic defect!Copy !req
972. Perhaps. But I am waterproof.Copy !req
973. Defect!Copy !req
974. Hey! Over here!Copy !req
975. Can I switch sides now?Copy !req
976. I never had a proper planet.Copy !req
977. I spent my formative years underground,Copy !req
978. where everything was dark and wet and hot.Copy !req
979. And I was like, "Warrior?
No, I said I was a worrier!"Copy !req
980. I worry about everything!Copy !req
981. I... Oh, hey.Copy !req
982. Qwark?Copy !req
983. This is awkward.Copy !req
984. The next time you and those moronic
Rangers decide to play hero...Copy !req
985. plan better.Copy !req
986. Toss him into one of the shuttles.Copy !req
987. I want him to live to see his failure.Copy !req
988. Drek, don't do this!
Novalis is home to millions!Copy !req
989. Yes, yes, and they had
their time in the sun.Copy !req
990. Now it's our turn.Copy !req
991. Commence deplanetization!Copy !req
992. Ready the Deplanetizer!Copy !req
993. No!Copy !req
994. Well, here's your I.D. Welcome aboard.Copy !req
995. - Captain?
- Huh?Copy !req
996. Oh. Yeah. Thanks.Copy !req
997. Release the harvesters!Copy !req
998. In the wake of Novalis' destructionCopy !req
999. and Captain Qwark's shocking betrayal,
Galactic President Phyronix has issuedCopy !req
1000. a galaxy-wide alert
to all Solana citizens.Copy !req
1001. Residents are to remain in their homes
while authorities manage the crisis.Copy !req
1002. And though the planet
was successfully evacuated,Copy !req
1003. the question remains,
did we put our trust in the wrong Lombax?Copy !req
1004. Uh...Copy !req
1005. Can I come in?Copy !req
1006. That protosuit of yours keeps beeping.Copy !req
1007. All day, all night,
voices asking you to come back.Copy !req
1008. Those Ranger hotshots are persistent.Copy !req
1009. Yeah. Thanks, Grim.
I'll turn it off in the morning.Copy !req
1010. Hey. I remember this.Copy !req
1011. You wandered into the garage
and took my rocket sled for a test drive.Copy !req
1012. No fear, no safety check, you just flipped
the switch, and off you went.Copy !req
1013. Took three police bots to chase you
down and teach you how to stop!Copy !req
1014. I guess I just wanted to do something big.Copy !req
1015. I wanted to matter, you know?Copy !req
1016. I ain't never been very good with advice.Copy !req
1017. But I do know this.Copy !req
1018. To be a hero,
you don't have to do big things,Copy !req
1019. just the right ones.Copy !req
1020. That's actually not bad.Copy !req
1021. Thank you.Copy !req
1022. I have my moments.Copy !req
1023. I'm okay.Copy !req
1024. My dear, sweet Victor.Copy !req
1025. You were a wonderful friend and companion.Copy !req
1026. Honest. Loyal. Rusty.Copy !req
1027. I mean, really rusty. I could hear you
all the way across the station.Copy !req
1028. But still, we honor you with
this silent moment of reflection,Copy !req
1029. as thanks for your sacrifice.Copy !req
1030. You will be missed.Copy !req
1031. Let's get this show on the road!Copy !req
1032. Bring in New Quartu!Copy !req
1033. Bring in New Quartu!Copy !req
1034. Uh, how are things at home, Jeff?Copy !req
1035. Great!Copy !req
1036. It's beautiful.Copy !req
1037. I did it, Father. I did it!Copy !req
1038. - It's beautiful.
- Uh...Copy !req
1039. I thought I might find you here.Copy !req
1040. Clank?Copy !req
1041. I'm not going back, Clank.Copy !req
1042. This is where I belong. You were right.Copy !req
1043. Fame is overrated, especially when you're
famous for causing a complete disaster.Copy !req
1044. It was not a complete disaster.Copy !req
1045. Authorities are calling it
a "complete and utter disaster"...Copy !req
1046. Sorry!Copy !req
1047. The evacuation of Novalis was successful.Copy !req
1048. No one was killed or injured.Copy !req
1049. But those people lost their homes,Copy !req
1050. and for that, I have to
take full responsibility.Copy !req
1051. Blaming yourself and taking responsibility
are two very different things.Copy !req
1052. If you truly want to be accountable,Copy !req
1053. you will endeavor to make things
right the next time.Copy !req
1054. Next time?Copy !req
1055. Drek has one more target on his list.Copy !req
1056. With Captain Qwark
now working for the enemy,Copy !req
1057. the Rangers need you more than ever.Copy !req
1058. And I would like to offer
my assistance in any way possible,Copy !req
1059. partner.Copy !req
1060. Earthquake!Copy !req
1061. What's that?Copy !req
1062. Oh, I brought some friends.Copy !req
1063. Okay, pity party's over.
Time to get back to work.Copy !req
1064. Listen, guys,
I'm sorry I ran out on you like that.Copy !req
1065. Even though I messed up, I should've
stayed to fix it and see it through.Copy !req
1066. Eh. We've all made bad choices.
Here, check it out.Copy !req
1067. My cadet photo.Copy !req
1068. Really? That's how we're playing?Copy !req
1069. Okay, uh, there's no need
to embarrass anyone here.Copy !req
1070. Okay, everyone, chill out!Copy !req
1071. We have a job to do, and I need to start
shooting at something immediately.Copy !req
1072. Well, before we just go off and start
shooting at things, I was thinking that...Copy !req
1073. Yeah, get some.Copy !req
1074. That's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
1075. Forget it.Copy !req
1076. No, wait. Go on.Copy !req
1077. I think we need to hear
what you both have to say.Copy !req
1078. Well, while we can't move
a planet out of the way...Copy !req
1079. I was thinking, what if we could move
the weapon targeting that planet?Copy !req
1080. Move the Deplanetizer?Copy !req
1081. Knock it off course.Copy !req
1082. Okay. Awesome.Copy !req
1083. And just how are we going to do that?Copy !req
1084. Not sure yet. But I'm working on it.Copy !req
1085. Hmm.Copy !req
1086. I might have an idea.Copy !req
1087. So after you pick up my dry cleaning,Copy !req
1088. you need to polish the Segway,
and after that...Copy !req
1089. Drek, I want to talk to you.Copy !req
1090. You tried to kill my Rangers!
You said you'd leave them alone!Copy !req
1091. And I meant it at the time!Copy !req
1092. I detest bloodshed as much as any Blarg,Copy !req
1093. but sometimes, sacrifices are
necessary for the greater good.Copy !req
1094. I know you're working
with Nefarious on this.Copy !req
1095. Yes, isn't it wonderful?Copy !req
1096. We're all part of the same dream team.Copy !req
1097. We should make T-shirts!Copy !req
1098. You're making a big mistake.Copy !req
1099. You have no idea the kinds
of evil he's capable of.Copy !req
1100. Oh, but I do.Copy !req
1101. It's all right here on his résumé.
Special skills...Copy !req
1102. Horrendous evil. Unspeakable evil.
Diabolical evil.Copy !req
1103. He's very well-rounded.Copy !req
1104. And apparently, he can juggle. Hmm.Copy !req
1105. Oh-oh!Copy !req
1106. Do I feel my ears burning?Copy !req
1107. And there's our
little juggling psychopath now!Copy !req
1108. You died in a prison escape.
There were witnesses.Copy !req
1109. Oh.Copy !req
1110. People will say and do just about anythingCopy !req
1111. for the right price.Copy !req
1112. What was yours, Qwark?Copy !req
1113. What was your price
for selling out your friends?Copy !req
1114. Your face on another cereal box, perhaps?Copy !req
1115. Why don't you run alongCopy !req
1116. so the Chairman and I can get back
to the business at hand?Copy !req
1117. But what am I supposed to do?Copy !req
1118. You can guard the Star Cracker
water cooler.Copy !req
1119. Oh! But with fury! Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
1120. That was fun!Copy !req
1121. And T-shirts would be a good idea.
Good for morale.Copy !req
1122. What do you think, Neffie? Should we...Copy !req
1123. Sheepinator. One of my personal favorites.Copy !req
1124. It's time for a change of management.Copy !req
1125. Huh? Uh-oh...Copy !req
1126. Okay, let's do this!
We only got so much time to get it all done.Copy !req
1127. Use that, whatever that's called.
That's good. Okay.Copy !req
1128. Right. Over here.Copy !req
1129. Keep bringing it on in, ratcheting it on up,
electrifying everything.Copy !req
1130. Make sure everything's got electricity
running through it, at least a little bit.Copy !req
1131. That's good, too.
Whatever that is, you're doing great.Copy !req
1132. Okay.Copy !req
1133. Hey, everybody! Get in here now!Copy !req
1134. Uh, please.Copy !req
1135. You're not going to believe this.Copy !req
1136. We finally decoded the Deplanetizer plans.Copy !req
1137. We found his next target. It's Umbris.Copy !req
1138. Well, at least he picked
an empty planet this time.Copy !req
1139. Yes, however, it is a volatile planet.Copy !req
1140. Its core is made up of pure melluvium.Copy !req
1141. Blowing it up will result in a chain reaction
that will destroy the entire system.Copy !req
1142. But why would Drek do that?Copy !req
1143. I thought he was trying to
build the perfect planet?Copy !req
1144. Well, because Umbris wasn't Drek's idea.Copy !req
1145. Duh!Copy !req
1146. What do you mean?Copy !req
1147. It's Nefarious.Copy !req
1148. Dr. Nefarious?Copy !req
1149. No, Steve Nefarious.
Of course it's Dr. Nefarious!Copy !req
1150. Oh, yeah, funny how
you didn't mention thatCopy !req
1151. when I was dangling you
over the edge of a building.Copy !req
1152. Well, you didn't ask, now did you?Copy !req
1153. Okay, that's it. I'm shooting him.Copy !req
1154. What? Don't shoot him.Copy !req
1155. I am confused.
I thought Nefarious was dead.Copy !req
1156. Only on the inside.Copy !req
1157. Otherwise, he's very much...Copy !req
1158. Alive!Copy !req
1159. Okay, shoot him.Copy !req
1160. - You wanted New Quartu?
- Huh?Copy !req
1161. I'll give it to you.Copy !req
1162. Happy trails!Copy !req
1163. Now entering Umbris atmosphere.Copy !req
1164. Yes, it's almost here.Copy !req
1165. The beginning of the end.Copy !req
1166. The end of what?Copy !req
1167. Let the games begin.Copy !req
1168. Remote detonation now activated.Copy !req
1169. It is about to get real.Copy !req
1170. We're as close as we can get
without being spotted.Copy !req
1171. Okay, so what's the plan, Elaris?Copy !req
1172. Go on. We're listening.Copy !req
1173. Well, I've been hard at work
on a little something calledCopy !req
1174. the Hologuise.Copy !req
1175. It'll project a visual and audible
replication of Captain Qwark so realistic,Copy !req
1176. it would fool his own mother.Copy !req
1177. With Ratchet posing as Qwark,
they'll dock with the DeplanetizerCopy !req
1178. by easily fooling the simpleminded Blarg.Copy !req
1179. Yes, Captain. What can I do you for?Copy !req
1180. Greetings, citizen.
Just returning from patrol.Copy !req
1181. Copy that. Deactivating shield grid 24 A.Copy !req
1182. Once inside, Ratchet and Clank
will make their wayCopy !req
1183. through the Star Cracker
chamber to the inner core.Copy !req
1184. When Ratchet exposes the stabilizer,
it can quickly be disconnected...Copy !req
1185. Yes. Got it.Copy !req
1186. Meanwhile, Clank will disable
all the other weaponsCopy !req
1187. by hacking into the mainframe.Copy !req
1188. Weapons system disabled.Copy !req
1189. Leaving the Deplanetizer completely
vulnerable to any outside forces.Copy !req
1190. Warning. Warning. Core stabilizer offline.Copy !req
1191. Run away! Everybody panic!Copy !req
1192. - Warning. Warning.
- What's happening?Copy !req
1193. Warning. Core stabilizer offline.Copy !req
1194. Dr. Nefarious, sir... I mean, Doctor!Copy !req
1195. Where are you going?Copy !req
1196. Me? Nowhere. Certainly not out
of a system-wide blast radius.Copy !req
1197. - What?
- What?Copy !req
1198. We've been infiltrated.Copy !req
1199. The Galactic Rangers are trying
to shut down the Deplanetizer,Copy !req
1200. and I can't find Chairman Drek anywhere!Copy !req
1201. Ah!Copy !req
1202. You want something done right,
you have to do it yourself.Copy !req
1203. - Warning. Warning.
- Huh?Copy !req
1204. Core stabilizer offline.Copy !req
1205. Everybody panic!Copy !req
1206. Ratchet...Copy !req
1207. And we're clear. All units, move in.Copy !req
1208. Yeah! Way to go, you guys!Copy !req
1209. Ratchet!Copy !req
1210. Greetings, Cadet.Copy !req
1211. Captain Qwark, on behalf
of the Galactic Rangers,Copy !req
1212. I'm placing you under arrest.Copy !req
1213. You can't do that.
I'll just arrest you right back!Copy !req
1214. On what charge?Copy !req
1215. False arrest? Being annoying? Who cares?Copy !req
1216. You stabbed your own team
in the back, Qwark!Copy !req
1217. Just like you stabbed me in the back,Copy !req
1218. taking my fans, my sponsors,
my lucrative endorsement deals,Copy !req
1219. my parking space!Copy !req
1220. You were my hero.Copy !req
1221. Now you're no better than Nefarious!Copy !req
1222. How dare you.Copy !req
1223. I am way better-looking than Nefarious!Copy !req
1224. I'm taking you in.Copy !req
1225. By force, if necessary.Copy !req
1226. Oh, wittle wombax with a wittle gun!Copy !req
1227. Huh.Copy !req
1228. Qwark, stop! You don't want to do this!Copy !req
1229. Don't tell me what I want to do!Copy !req
1230. On your left, Ratchet. Now your right.Copy !req
1231. Huh?Copy !req
1232. Enough, Qwark!Copy !req
1233. Whoa!Copy !req
1234. Nefarious is tricking you! He wants you
to destroy the entire system!Copy !req
1235. Oh, that's right, you know everything.Copy !req
1236. Uh-oh!Copy !req
1237. Hey, why don't we all
just listen to Ratchet?Copy !req
1238. Ratchet, look out!Copy !req
1239. Whoa!Copy !req
1240. Oh, my.Copy !req
1241. Buzz Blades? I taught
you better than that!Copy !req
1242. Some of it got in my mouth!
It's in my mouth!Copy !req
1243. He's just too good.Copy !req
1244. Oh, dear.Copy !req
1245. Whoa!Copy !req
1246. Clank!Copy !req
1247. Tornado Launcher!Copy !req
1248. Nefarious may be a homicidal lunatic,
but he sure can build a gun.Copy !req
1249. Qwark, please! You're not a villain!Copy !req
1250. You're not like Nefarious.Copy !req
1251. This isn't you, and you know it!Copy !req
1252. If Umbris is destroyed,
everyone will die, including us!Copy !req
1253. Is that how you want to be remembered?Copy !req
1254. I'm... I'm sorry.Copy !req
1255. I don't know how things got this far.Copy !req
1256. This is just pathetic!Copy !req
1257. Nefarious.Copy !req
1258. Give it up. It's over.Copy !req
1259. As head of the Galactic Rangers, uh,Copy !req
1260. he's here to place you under arrest.Copy !req
1261. Me?Copy !req
1262. Absolutely.Copy !req
1263. Arrest this man for his speakable
crimes against the galaxy.Copy !req
1264. My crimes?Copy !req
1265. The real crime is how you treated me!Copy !req
1266. The Rangers couldn't even
give me a proper laboratory!Copy !req
1267. We have an operational budget!Copy !req
1268. You called me "King of the Nerd Herd!"Copy !req
1269. It was a term of endearment!Copy !req
1270. Day after day, I slaved away,Copy !req
1271. creating all the weapons and devicesCopy !req
1272. that made you look like a hero.Copy !req
1273. But you're not a hero.
You're not even a good villain!Copy !req
1274. You're the galaxy's biggest joke.Copy !req
1275. Maybe.Copy !req
1276. But now the last laugh is on you.Copy !req
1277. Wait, what? That didn't make any sense.Copy !req
1278. - Sure it did.
- No, it didn't.Copy !req
1279. It sounded like you were combiningCopy !req
1280. "The joke is on you"
with "I'll have the last laugh."Copy !req
1281. Take your pick.Copy !req
1282. That's not how it works!Copy !req
1283. Get ready to engage mag-boosters!Copy !req
1284. Ratchet and Clank are still inside.Copy !req
1285. Drek's going to fire at any moment!
We don't have any more time!Copy !req
1286. My point is, if you're going to use
a one-liner, it should make sense,Copy !req
1287. and be relevant to the situation!Copy !req
1288. Look, I workshop thousands of these
a year, and they can't all be gold!Copy !req
1289. Now, put your hands in the air!Copy !req
1290. Over your dead body!Copy !req
1291. Whoa!Copy !req
1292. Incoming.Copy !req
1293. Whoa!Copy !req
1294. Mommy!Copy !req
1295. Dialing Mother.Copy !req
1296. Hello, Horkelberg residence!Copy !req
1297. Mag-boosters engaged!Copy !req
1298. Full power!Copy !req
1299. It's working.Copy !req
1300. Stay with it.Copy !req
1301. Steady now! Steady!Copy !req
1302. Whoa!Copy !req
1303. What's happening?Copy !req
1304. Whoa!Copy !req
1305. Deplanetizer now online.Copy !req
1306. Qwark! Don't let him turn it on!Copy !req
1307. Get off me, you has-been!Copy !req
1308. You know, maybe Drek was right.Copy !req
1309. I am a mad scientist.Copy !req
1310. Whoo-hoo! They missed!Copy !req
1311. Lousy, insolent, idiotic...Copy !req
1312. Break off. Break off!Copy !req
1313. Copy that.Copy !req
1314. Ratchet, you have to get out of there now!Copy !req
1315. Weapon locker depleted.Copy !req
1316. Hmm.Copy !req
1317. Yeah. We're working on it.Copy !req
1318. No! My plan! You've ruined my plan!Copy !req
1319. You've had this one coming
a long time, Qwark!Copy !req
1320. Of all my brilliant creations,Copy !req
1321. it remains one of my favorites.Copy !req
1322. Meet the RYNO,Copy !req
1323. as in, "Rip You A New One."Copy !req
1324. - Hey, Nefarious?
- What?Copy !req
1325. Meet the Omniwrench.Copy !req
1326. Warning. Now entering Umbris atmosphere.Copy !req
1327. Any ideas?Copy !req
1328. Hmm.Copy !req
1329. Come on, guys. Get out of there. Come on!Copy !req
1330. They'll never make it out in time.Copy !req
1331. We've got to help.Copy !req
1332. It's too late. There's nothing we can do.Copy !req
1333. We must find one of Drek's teleporters!Copy !req
1334. - I saw one on the bridge!
- Watch out!Copy !req
1335. Hang on, boys.Copy !req
1336. It's here! Hit the brakes!Copy !req
1337. Relax, I know what...Copy !req
1338. - Qwark!
- Oh, no.Copy !req
1339. I can't reach you in time.
Just get out while you can!Copy !req
1340. - Teleporter charging.
- Hmm.Copy !req
1341. What are you doing?Copy !req
1342. Improvising!Copy !req
1343. Oh!Copy !req
1344. Are we dead?Copy !req
1345. Huh?Copy !req
1346. We are alive.Copy !req
1347. All Rangers alive and accounted for.Copy !req
1348. Whoo! Welcome back, Rangers! Good job!Copy !req
1349. How many planets do you think I'll have
to save for them to call me a hero again?Copy !req
1350. You don't have to do big things
to be a hero, Qwark.Copy !req
1351. Just the right ones.Copy !req
1352. Oh.Copy !req
1353. I don't know,
maybe it'll be worth something someday.Copy !req
1354. Hmm.Copy !req
1355. I must say that it is curiousCopy !req
1356. that the sudden cessation of velocity
relative to our inertiaCopy !req
1357. did not cause either of you to...Copy !req
1358. Oh, dear.Copy !req
1359. Don't worry, Cadet.
It happens to the best...Copy !req
1360. Oh, that was terrible.Copy !req
1361. Oh, boy.Copy !req
1362. Make it stop!Copy !req
1363. Should we go and join the others?Copy !req
1364. I'd like to, but there's a promise
I have to keep to an old friend.Copy !req
1365. I understand.Copy !req
1366. Don't worry. I'm sure we'll run
into each other again someday.Copy !req
1367. It's a small galaxy.Copy !req
1368. Well, I suppose this is goodbye.Copy !req
1369. You can let go now, Ratchet.Copy !req
1370. Ah...Copy !req
1371. Come on, what's the holdup?Copy !req
1372. Paying good money for this.Copy !req
1373. I haven't got all day!Copy !req
1374. And that was the scene todayCopy !req
1375. as thousands gathered to welcome
home the Galactic Rangers,Copy !req
1376. making their triumphant return
from saving our galaxy.Copy !req
1377. Grateful citizens gathered
at the famed Hall of HeroesCopy !req
1378. to mark this day that will live
in hearts and minds forever.Copy !req
1379. As for Private Qwark,
the recently demoted RangerCopy !req
1380. will embark upon
his galaxy-wide apology tourCopy !req
1381. while shamelessly promoting his new book,Copy !req
1382. Listen, I Said I Was Sorry, All Right?Copy !req
1383. When asked for a comment,
the former captain had this to offer.Copy !req
1384. Prepare to be blown away
by my epic humility.Copy !req
1385. There was, however, one curious
absence from today's festivities,Copy !req
1386. that of new Ranger sensation
and media darling, Ratchet,Copy !req
1387. leaving this reporter with one question.Copy !req
1388. What does a Lombax do
after saving the galaxy?Copy !req
1389. We may never know.Copy !req
1390. And now, a story about a baby glypod
who can play the ukulele.Copy !req
1391. Come on, we haven't got all day!Copy !req
1392. We have 10 more proton scrubs to do before
lunch if we want to stay on schedule!Copy !req
1393. I've got to be honest, I kind of thought
you'd be so touched by the gesture,Copy !req
1394. you'd call us even.Copy !req
1395. Well, you thought wrong, didn't you?Copy !req
1396. Ah, keep your shirt on, I heard you.
You see these ears?Copy !req
1397. Hey! Wait! Wait! Please wait for me!
I have abandonment issues!Copy !req
1398. Might I offer a suggestion?Copy !req
1399. Modifying that proton scrubber
with a Gadgetron quasar flashCopy !req
1400. would increase your efficiency by 47.4%.Copy !req
1401. A quasar flash, huh? Gee, I don't know.Copy !req
1402. That kind of tech takes two to operate.Copy !req
1403. And Grim's not as nimble as he used to be.Copy !req
1404. Then perhaps I could
remain here and assist,Copy !req
1405. if you do not mind me
staying around a while.Copy !req
1406. You kidding?Copy !req
1407. Things have been way too quiet
without you around.Copy !req
1408. I do bring a certain level
of zing to the table, don't I?Copy !req
1409. Yeah, Clank. You're a real wild one.Copy !req
1410. Speaking of which,Copy !req
1411. am I to assume that you have
retired from the Galactic Rangers?Copy !req
1412. Nah. Once a Ranger, always a Ranger.Copy !req
1413. Believe me, the minute somebody tries to
blow up another planet, I'll be ready to go.Copy !req
1414. But, hey, what are the odds
of that happening?Copy !req
1415. Precisely 87,534 to one.Copy !req
1416. Yep. A real wild one.Copy !req
1417. No! Get away from me!Copy !req
1418. Do not stick that thing in...Copy !req
1419. Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
1420. Quit trying to repair me, you moron!Copy !req
1421. I am not a robot!Copy !req
1422. Huh? Are you still here?Copy !req
1423. All the logos and doohickeys
already went by.Copy !req
1424. That means it's over. Move along.Copy !req
1425. No extra little scene
at the end of the movie.Copy !req
1426. If I find out who started that nonsense,
why, I'm going to plant my boot so far up...Copy !req
1427. I said, beat it!Copy !req
1428. Sheesh!Copy !req