1. Okay. My turn, my turn.
Um, I got one.Copy !req
2. Great, but can you make itCopy !req
3. a little more challenging
this time?Copy !req
4. Okay. Check this out.Copy !req
5. I spy with my little eye...Copy !req
6. something yellow...Copy !req
7. and round,
and it eats dots.Copy !req
8. Seriously, Ralph?Copy !req
9. Yeah, seriously.
You're never gonna get it.Copy !req
10. Well, obviously,
it's Pac-Man.Copy !req
11. No, that's not...Copy !req
12. Why is that obvious?Copy !req
13. Name one other thing
in this whole arcadeCopy !req
14. that is yellow and round
and eats dots.Copy !req
15. I can name two things.Copy !req
16. Ms. Pac-Man
and Baby Pac-Man.Copy !req
17. Boom!
I accept your apology.Copy !req
18. Yeah, you're right. Okay.
But was it Pac-Man?Copy !req
19. Yeah, you got me.Copy !req
20. Knew it.
All right, riddle me this...Copy !req
21. do you or do you not think
that Zangief waxes?Copy !req
22. No way. Look at the guy.
He looks like a yeti.Copy !req
23. I don't know.Copy !req
24. I mean, if the fur
were confined to his chest,Copy !req
25. I might agree...Copy !req
26. but look at those
two very specificCopy !req
27. tuffets of shin hair...Copy !req
28. poking out of his boots.Copy !req
29. That does not just happen,
Ralph. That is a choice.Copy !req
30. You're totally right, kid.Copy !req
31. He's baby smooth
everywhere else.Copy !req
32. I rest my case.Copy !req
33. My mind is blown!Copy !req
34. Let's go get a root beer.Copy !req
35. Okay, let's see
what you got, kid.Copy !req
36. Ooh!Copy !req
37. Nice one. Okay.Copy !req
38. I think I got one
in the chamber.Copy !req
39. Ew!Copy !req
40. - Gross.
- Thank you.Copy !req
41. Hey, wanna sneak into Tron?Copy !req
42. Doesn't that game
have a virus?Copy !req
43. No. I'm sure
they fixed it.Copy !req
44. Whoo!Copy !req
45. I'm gonna beat
my speed record!Copy !req
46. Hey, wait for me!Copy !req
47. Ralph.Copy !req
48. Yeah?Copy !req
49. I don't think
they fixed the game.Copy !req
50. Uh... No.Copy !req
51. Help!Copy !req
52. Hey, Tron!Copy !req
53. Tronny!Copy !req
54. Tronny boy!Copy !req
55. Help!Copy !req
56. Do you realizeCopy !req
57. we're basically just, like,
zeroes and ones...Copy !req
58. floating around the universe
like tiny specks of dust?Copy !req
59. Like, doesn't the very natureCopy !req
60. of our existence
make you wonder...Copy !req
61. if there's more to life
than this?Copy !req
62. Why would I wonder
if there's more to lifeCopy !req
63. when the life
I got is perfect?Copy !req
64. I mean, sure. Doesn't
look so hot on paper.Copy !req
65. I'm just a bad guy
from some old video gameCopy !req
66. who wrecks a building.Copy !req
67. And yeah, for 27 years,Copy !req
68. I was a total zero
without any friends.Copy !req
69. But now,
I got a best friend...Copy !req
70. who just happens to beCopy !req
71. the coolest kid
in the whole arcade.Copy !req
72. Aw, thanks, pal.Copy !req
73. Watch this.Copy !req
74. Home run!Copy !req
75. All right, let's go
watch the sunrise.Copy !req
76. Are you really sayingCopy !req
77. there's not one single,
solitary thing...Copy !req
78. about your life
that you would change?Copy !req
79. Well, think about it.Copy !req
80. You and me get to
goof off all night long.Copy !req
81. Litwak shows up, we go to
work, we put in our hours.Copy !req
82. Then the arcade closesCopy !req
83. and we get to do it
all over again.Copy !req
84. The only thing I might do
different in that scenario...Copy !req
85. would be not having
to go to work.Copy !req
86. Other than that,
I wouldn't change a thing.Copy !req
87. Huh?Copy !req
88. Hey, where'd our sunrise go?Copy !req
89. All right,
let's get you plugged in.Copy !req
90. That's a plug-in alert.Copy !req
91. Litwak hasn't plugged in
a new game in forever.Copy !req
92. - Let's go see what it is!
- Yeah!Copy !req
93. Excuse us. Excuse us.
Minor emergency.Copy !req
94. Hey, Felix, Calhoun,
what's getting plugged in?Copy !req
95. Well, Ralph, Sonic thinksCopy !req
96. it's gonna be
a new pinball machine.Copy !req
97. What do you think,
lady love?Copy !req
98. I'll bet you a shiny nickel
it's a blood pressure machine.Copy !req
99. - Kids love those things.
- Ooh.Copy !req
100. Please be a racing game.
Please be a racing game.Copy !req
101. Please be a racing game.Copy !req
102. "Whiffee"? Or, "Wifey"?Copy !req
103. Well, it's either wiffle ball,
or an arranged marriage game.Copy !req
104. It's actually pronounced
"Wi-Fi," Ralph.Copy !req
105. Yeah, that's what I said.Copy !req
106. And Wi-Fi is the Internet...Copy !req
107. which is an online communityCopy !req
108. where human beings
go to shop...Copy !req
109. and play games and socialize.Copy !req
110. Ooh, fun!Copy !req
111. Oh, no, it is not.Copy !req
112. That sign right there
says "Wi-Fi."Copy !req
113. What it should say
is "Die-Fi."Copy !req
114. That's a little humor there.Copy !req
115. But seriously, the Internet
is nothing to laugh at.Copy !req
116. It is new, it is different,Copy !req
117. and therefore
we should fear it.Copy !req
118. So keep out, for Pete's sake,
and get to work.Copy !req
119. The arcade's about to open.Copy !req
120. Figures, we finally get
something new plugged in...Copy !req
121. and we're not even allowed
to go in there.Copy !req
122. Totally not fair.Copy !req
123. A new racing game
would've been cool.Copy !req
124. Something wrong
with your game?Copy !req
125. No, no.Copy !req
126. It's just every bonus level's
been unlocked.Copy !req
127. I know every shortcut.Copy !req
128. Man, I'd kill for even
just a new track.Copy !req
129. New track? You already got,
like, three choices.Copy !req
130. Yeah, I know,
but don't you ever wishCopy !req
131. something new
and different...Copy !req
132. would happen in your game?Copy !req
133. Nope.Copy !req
134. Really? Well,
agree to disagree.Copy !req
135. Wait, I don't wanna disagree.Copy !req
136. No, no. It's just
a fancy way to sayCopy !req
137. we don't have to
argue about it.Copy !req
138. We're arguing?
I don't wanna argue.Copy !req
139. Relax. Stop making it
a thing.Copy !req
140. Go to work. I'll see you
tonight, stench vessel.Copy !req
141. All right.Copy !req
142. She wants a new track,
I'll give her a new track.Copy !req
143. Come on, Nafisa!
Let's play Sugar Rush!Copy !req
144. Pick Vanellope, Swati.Copy !req
145. She's got
the best superpower.Copy !req
146. Yeah, the glitch. I love her.Copy !req
147. Drivers,Copy !req
148. start your engines.Copy !req
149. You're gonna lose today,
Princess.Copy !req
150. While, yes, I am technically
a princess, Taffyta...Copy !req
151. I'd rather you just think of
me as plain old Vanellope...Copy !req
152. the racer who's about to
kick your butt.Copy !req
153. Three, two, one, go!Copy !req
154. And pardon me, excuse me,
coming through.Copy !req
155. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
156. Whoo!Copy !req
157. And one, two, three gumballs
right on cue.Copy !req
158. Yeah, I love it
when she glitches.Copy !req
159. Ooh! Huh.Copy !req
160. Excuse me.
I must have fallen asleep.Copy !req
161. Oh, fun. I'm winning.Copy !req
162. Vanellope takes a huge lead.Copy !req
163. No one's gonna catch her now.Copy !req
164. She's gonna love this.Copy !req
165. Right on time.Copy !req
166. What?Copy !req
167. "Looking for something new...Copy !req
168. "and different?Copy !req
169. "Then take this track."Copy !req
170. Oh, Ralph,
you old son-of-a-gun.Copy !req
171. I'd say I got a little time
for a detour.Copy !req
172. Whoa!Copy !req
173. Hey, look, I think
I unlocked a new track.Copy !req
174. Never seen that before.Copy !req
175. This is awesome!Copy !req
176. Hey, thanks, Ralph!Copy !req
177. You're welcome!Copy !req
178. Get back up
on the track, Swati.Copy !req
179. You're going to lose.Copy !req
180. I can't.
It's like it's driving itself.Copy !req
181. Whoo!Copy !req
182. What is wrong with
this thing?Copy !req
183. What?Copy !req
184. No, no!Copy !req
185. Kid!Copy !req
186. Oh, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
187. Kid! Kid!Copy !req
188. Oh, kid, I'm so sorry,
are you okay?Copy !req
189. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
190. What an amazing track!Copy !req
191. Thank you, Ralph! Thank you,
thank you, thank you!Copy !req
192. You're welcome!Copy !req
193. You know I take my duty
as your hero very seriously.Copy !req
194. Wait a minute.Copy !req
195. You took a serious
doody where?Copy !req
196. Vanellope, get up here.Copy !req
197. We have a situation.Copy !req
198. Mr. Litwak, the Vanellope
racer wasn't working...Copy !req
199. and I think maybe I
turned the wheel too hard.Copy !req
200. - Whoa.
- I'm real sorry.Copy !req
201. It's okay, Swati.Copy !req
202. I think I can get it back
on there pretty easy.Copy !req
203. - What did you do, Ralph?
- Nothing.Copy !req
204. Leave him alone.Copy !req
205. He was just trying to
make the game more exciting.Copy !req
206. Yeah, why don't you relax,
Taffyta? Litwak will fix it.Copy !req
207. All right, on you...Copy !req
208. Oh!Copy !req
209. Okay. Still not a problem.Copy !req
210. He'll just order a new part.Copy !req
211. Well, I'd order a new part...Copy !req
212. but the company
that made Sugar RushCopy !req
213. went out of business
years ago.Copy !req
214. I can try to find one
on the Internet.Copy !req
215. - Good idea.
- Oh, me too.Copy !req
216. Good luck, that'll be like
finding a needle in a...Copy !req
217. I found one! On ebay!Copy !req
218. Really? How about that?Copy !req
219. See? Those kids
have it under control.Copy !req
220. They're just gonna get
another wheel from the eboy.Copy !req
221. Are you
kidding me? How much?Copy !req
222. That's more than this game
makes in a year.Copy !req
223. Aw, I hate to say it,Copy !req
224. but my salvage guy
is coming on Friday...Copy !req
225. and it might be time to sell
Sugar Rush for parts.Copy !req
226. - Aww.
- Where's he going?Copy !req
227. Litwak's gonna
unplug the game.Copy !req
228. Get out of here!
Go, scram, let's go, run!Copy !req
229. Go, run, run,
run, run!Copy !req
230. - Let's go!
- Run!Copy !req
231. Gangway!Copy !req
232. Yeah,
you heard him, gangway!Copy !req
233. Stop it! No running!Copy !req
234. What are you people doing
out of your game,Copy !req
235. for Peter's sake?Copy !req
236. The arcade is open!Copy !req
237. Sugar Rush
is getting unplugged.Copy !req
238. - We're homeless!
- Yeah, yeah, we're homeless!Copy !req
239. Oh, what are we going to do?Copy !req
240. Y'all, calm down, calm down.
Get a hold of yourselves.Copy !req
241. I don't want to be gameless.Copy !req
242. An unplugging.
Good Lord.Copy !req
243. I haven't seen
this many gameless charactersCopy !req
244. since Space Invaders
went down.Copy !req
245. Um...Copy !req
246. Where are we gonna live?Copy !req
247. Well, you can stay here until
the arcade closes, I guess...Copy !req
248. and then we'll figure outCopy !req
249. where the heck
we're gonna put you all.Copy !req
250. Okay.Copy !req
251. Here we go.Copy !req
252. I raided Gene's fridge.Copy !req
253. Good news, he's got pie.Copy !req
254. Took a bunch of his pillows
and junk, too.Copy !req
255. I'm thinking we make a fort
up here, or like a yurt.Copy !req
256. Or we could take
these pillows...Copy !req
257. If we stack them right,Copy !req
258. we can make an igloo
out of pillows.Copy !req
259. Like a pillow igloo.
Pigloo. Pigloo!Copy !req
260. So what do you think, kid?Copy !req
261. Fort, yurt, or the obvious
best choice, pigloo?Copy !req
262. I can't believe I don't have
a game anymore.Copy !req
263. I mean, like, what am I
gonna do all day?Copy !req
264. What? Come on,
are you kidding?Copy !req
265. You sleep in,
you do no work,Copy !req
266. then you go to Tapper's
with me every night.Copy !req
267. I've literally
just described paradise.Copy !req
268. But I loved my game.Copy !req
269. Oh, come on.Copy !req
270. You were just bellyaching
about the tracksCopy !req
271. being too easy.Copy !req
272. No, that doesn't mean
I didn't love it.Copy !req
273. Yeah, sure,
it was kind of predictable...Copy !req
274. but still I never really knew
what might happen in a race.Copy !req
275. And it's that,
it's that feeling,Copy !req
276. that not-knowing-what's-
coming-next feeling.Copy !req
277. That's the stuff.
That feels like life to me.Copy !req
278. And if I'm not a racer,
Ralph...Copy !req
279. what am I?Copy !req
280. Well, you're my best friend.Copy !req
281. That's not enough.Copy !req
282. Hey.Copy !req
283. No, I just...Copy !req
284. I'm sorry,
I know I'm being weird.Copy !req
285. I think maybe I just need
to be alone right now.Copy !req
286. Oh.Copy !req
287. Okay.Copy !req
288. I'll meet you over at Tapper's
in a little while, I guess.Copy !req
289. If you want.Copy !req
290. All right, now...Copy !req
291. we found some good homesCopy !req
292. for so many of our chums
from Sugar Rush...Copy !req
293. and we're just hoping
a few more of youCopy !req
294. will open your doors...Copy !req
295. and your hearts
to those in need.Copy !req
296. Well, I suppose
that large green oliveCopy !req
297. will fit in nicely
with my decor.Copy !req
298. I'm a sour ball.Copy !req
299. Well, beggars can't be
choosers, can they?Copy !req
300. Come along, condiment.Copy !req
301. Mm-kay.Copy !req
302. Marvelous.
That just leaves the racers.Copy !req
303. We're, like, adorable.Copy !req
304. You sure are.Copy !req
305. So, any takers?Copy !req
306. Um...Copy !req
307. Anyone?Copy !req
308. Felix, I know
we've never once talked aboutCopy !req
309. having a family before, but...Copy !req
310. I know, it feels
like the kind of thingCopy !req
311. you just jump into
with both feet...Copy !req
312. and nary a plan.Copy !req
313. Felix and I will
give them sanctuary.Copy !req
314. Can I get a quick word
with you two?Copy !req
315. Look, I get it.Copy !req
316. You've been married
six years,Copy !req
317. you're looking to
spice things up...Copy !req
318. but trust me,
adopting 15 childrenCopy !req
319. is the wrong kind of spice.Copy !req
320. Those things
are basically feral.Copy !req
321. Pardon me, sir, but those
youngsters are lambs.Copy !req
322. Lost little lambs in need of
two kind, caring shepherds.Copy !req
323. That's right.Copy !req
324. Besides, how hard
can parenting be?Copy !req
325. You treat the child
like your best friend...Copy !req
326. you give them
everything they want...Copy !req
327. and you just love
their little socks off.Copy !req
328. Right, Tammy?Copy !req
329. Darn-tootin'.Copy !req
330. Huh?Copy !req
331. Come and get it.Copy !req
332. Get your own candle.Copy !req
333. Hey, Mom,
why does your lame TVCopy !req
334. only have one channel?Copy !req
335. Well,
hate to say I told ya...Copy !req
336. Ow!Copy !req
337. Hey, Tapper?Copy !req
338. No, Ralph.
I haven't seen Vanellope.Copy !req
339. Not since the last time
you asked me 30 seconds ago.Copy !req
340. Sorry. I'm just
worried about her.Copy !req
341. She's glitching like crazy,
and acting super insecure.Copy !req
342. Oh. And get this,
she said...Copy !req
343. being friends with me
wasn't enough for her.Copy !req
344. Not enough?
I'm a great friend!Copy !req
345. Right, Tapper? Right?Copy !req
346. I'm sorry.
Who's acting insecure?Copy !req
347. Ralph, come on.Copy !req
348. The kid just lost her game.
Give her a break.Copy !req
349. There you are... Oh.Copy !req
350. Hey, Ralph.Copy !req
351. Hey, Felix. Since when
do you drink root beer?Copy !req
352. Since tonight.Copy !req
353. Yeah, I hear you, buddy.Copy !req
354. Hey, listen. This one was
supposed to be for Vanellope.Copy !req
355. I guess you can have it.Copy !req
356. Doesn't look like
she's coming.Copy !req
357. Thanks.Copy !req
358. You know,
I can't help but thinkCopy !req
359. this whole mess
is somehow...Copy !req
360. partially my fault.Copy !req
361. It figures. Just when
my life was perfect.Copy !req
362. Mine was, too.Copy !req
363. But, hey,
now I'm a father of 15.Copy !req
364. Isn't that just a blessing?Copy !req
365. Eeeee-oh-boy!Copy !req
366. Wait. What'd
you say, Felix?Copy !req
367. Um, isn't that
just a blessing?Copy !req
368. No, the weird sound thing.Copy !req
369. Oh. Eeeee-oh-boy?Copy !req
370. Yeah. Eee-oh...Copy !req
371. Sorry, say it again?Copy !req
372. - Eeeee-oh-boy.
- Eeeee-oh-boy!Copy !req
373. - Eee-oh-boy!
- Eee-boy! Say it again?Copy !req
374. - Eeeee-oh-boy!
- Eeeee-oh-boy.Copy !req
375. - Eeeee-oh-boy...
- eboy! eboy! eboy!Copy !req
376. - eboy? eboy?
- eboy.Copy !req
377. Yeah.Copy !req
378. Um, what are you getting
at there, Ralph?Copy !req
379. That kid out in the arcadeCopy !req
380. said there was
a steering wheel part...Copy !req
381. on the Internet, it's
something called eboy or...Copy !req
382. ebay! That's it,
it was ebay!Copy !req
383. Ralph, are you thinking aboutCopy !req
384. going to the Internet
and finding that part?Copy !req
385. Getting that part's
the only thingCopy !req
386. that's gonna fix the game
and that's the only thingCopy !req
387. that's gonna make
Vanellope happy again.Copy !req
388. And if Sugar Rush is fixed,Copy !req
389. all those lovable scamps
living in my house...Copy !req
390. and destroying my sanityCopy !req
391. will have homes
of their own again!Copy !req
392. Ralph, this is an important mission.
A noble mission!Copy !req
393. I will cover for you.Copy !req
394. Thanks, pal.Copy !req
395. Ralph, what about your tab?
You owe me for the root beer.Copy !req
396. Oh, Felix is gonna
cover for me.Copy !req
397. Drinks on the house, everybody!
Felix is paying.Copy !req
398. Shoryuken!Copy !req
399. Eeeee-oh-boy.Copy !req
400. Boo!Copy !req
401. Ralph, what is wrong
with you?Copy !req
402. Start churning butterCopy !req
403. and put on your church
shoes, little sister...Copy !req
404. 'cause we're about to
blast off!Copy !req
405. What are you
even talking about?Copy !req
406. Oh, we're going to
the Internet.Copy !req
407. What?Copy !req
408. Yeah, to find the part
to fix your game.Copy !req
409. No way!Copy !req
410. Yeah, I probably
should've just said,Copy !req
411. "We're going to the Internet."
We're going to the Internet!Copy !req
412. Yeah, we are!Copy !req
413. Hey, Surge,
are we glad to see you.Copy !req
414. We want to report
some malfeasanceCopy !req
415. over by the Whac-A-Mole.Copy !req
416. Yeah, we saw
some undesirablesCopy !req
417. causing a real donnybrook
over there.Copy !req
418. Oh, heck no.
Not on my watch.Copy !req
419. Appreciate the tip.Copy !req
420. So, all we gotta do
is find this eboy place.Copy !req
421. - Ebay.
- Right, ebay.Copy !req
422. So we go there,
get the steering wheel...Copy !req
423. we have it delivered
to Litwak before Friday.Copy !req
424. He'll fix your game.Copy !req
425. Everything goes back
to the way it was.Copy !req
426. Boom! Happily ever after.Copy !req
427. This is a shockingly sound,Copy !req
428. well-thought-out idea
for you, Ralph.Copy !req
429. No offense.Copy !req
430. I know. And none taken.Copy !req
431. Ooh, here it comes.Copy !req
432. Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls...Copy !req
433. I give you the Internet!Copy !req
434. Huh.Copy !req
435. The Internet is
not nearly as impressiveCopy !req
436. as how Sonic described it.Copy !req
437. Yeah, I gotta admit,
I'm underwhelmed.Copy !req
438. Where do you think
they keep their ebay?Copy !req
439. Beats me.Copy !req
440. Hello, anybody here?Copy !req
441. Anyone? Hello!Copy !req
442. We're looking for ebay!Copy !req
443. Ooh. Did you hear that, kid?
Sweet echo.Copy !req
444. Check this out.Copy !req
445. Hoolie-hoo!
Hoolie-hoo!Copy !req
446. Okay, connect to network.Copy !req
447. Bingo.Copy !req
448. Password is "high score"
with a zero instead of an "o."Copy !req
449. Yes.Copy !req
450. And we are online.Copy !req
451. Hoolie-hoo!Copy !req
452. Hoolie-hoolie-hoo!Copy !req
453. Ooh, Ralph, look.Copy !req
454. Cool. Mood lighting.Copy !req
455. Ahhh! That's a gremlin!
Stay away! It's a gremlin!Copy !req
456. It looks like
a tiny Mr. Litwak.Copy !req
457. IP address 415-1037-483.Copy !req
458. Oh, cool! Come on, Ralph,
let's follow him!Copy !req
459. Hey, wait for me!
Kid, come back! Wait!Copy !req
460. Hey!
Don't leave without me!Copy !req
461. IP address 415-1037-483.Copy !req
462. Vanellope!Copy !req
463. I can't breathe.
I don't fit.Copy !req
464. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
465. Yeah! Whoo!Copy !req
466. Kid!Copy !req
467. Ralph! Isn't this great?Copy !req
468. No, it is not!Copy !req
469. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
470. No, no, no.Copy !req
471. Whoa!Copy !req
472. Sweet mother
of monkey milk!Copy !req
473. Whoa!Copy !req
474. Kid, I don't think
we're in Litwak's anymore.Copy !req
475. We most certainly
are not, friendo.Copy !req
476. We are in the Internet!
Come on, Ralph!Copy !req
477. Holy cow!Copy !req
478. Look at all this stuff.Copy !req
479. Whoa.Copy !req
480. This is the most beautiful
miracle I've ever seen.Copy !req
481. But it's so big.Copy !req
482. It goes on
forever and ever.Copy !req
483. How are we
possibly gonna findCopy !req
484. ebay out there?Copy !req
485. Hey, kid. Kid, don't worry.Copy !req
486. I'm sure
there's someone out hereCopy !req
487. who could give us directions.
Oh!Copy !req
488. Look at that little egg guy.Copy !req
489. He's got on one of those hats
that smart people wear.Copy !req
490. I bet he could
help us. Come on.Copy !req
491. Welcome back
to the search bar, madam.Copy !req
492. I hope you were able
to findCopy !req
493. a satisfactory
breakfast burrito...Copy !req
494. based upon the search results
I provided this morning.Copy !req
495. What can KnowsMore
help you find now?Copy !req
496. Where can I find ballet...?Copy !req
497. Ballet shoes? Ballet classes?
Ballet folklorico?Copy !req
498. tights?Copy !req
499. Girls' size small.Copy !req
500. Oh, little Madeline's
trying ballet now, is she?Copy !req
501. I hope this lasts longer
than the soccer phase.Copy !req
502. Hmm.Copy !req
503. I found 23 million resultsCopy !req
504. for ballet tights,
girls' size small.Copy !req
505. Isn't that interesting?Copy !req
506. Redirecting
to DesmondsTutus.com.Copy !req
507. They never say thank you.Copy !req
508. Oh, hello, sir.Copy !req
509. Interesting, you don't seem to
have a search history.Copy !req
510. Well, let's start one for you.Copy !req
511. What can KnowsMore
help you find today?Copy !req
512. - Um...
- Umbrella. Umbrage.Copy !req
513. - Umami. Uma Thurman.
- No.Copy !req
514. Noah's Ark. No Doubt.
Nordstrom Rack.Copy !req
515. Err.Copy !req
516. Ergonomics. Urban Outfitters.
Urkel, played by Jaleel White.Copy !req
517. Looks like no one put
Humpty Dumpty together again.Copy !req
518. This guy's
a little soft-boiled.Copy !req
519. I'm pretty sure
he's just trying toCopy !req
520. guess what you're gonna say.Copy !req
521. Yes. I'm sorry,Copy !req
522. but my autofill
is a touch aggressive today.Copy !req
523. Let me try.
ebay Sugar RushCopy !req
524. steering wheel.Copy !req
525. Oh.Copy !req
526. I only found one result
for your query.Copy !req
527. Hmm. Isn't that interesting?Copy !req
528. What? How did you...?Copy !req
529. Ah, the Internet's
very intuitive.Copy !req
530. Thank you, Mr. KnowsMore.Copy !req
531. Well, you're welcome.Copy !req
532. Redirecting to ebay.Copy !req
533. I like her.
What a delightful girl.Copy !req
534. Slow traffic
will be fined for speedsCopy !req
535. less than three megabytes
per second.Copy !req
536. Wow, I guess
we know where to goCopy !req
537. if we ever need
a pair of goggles.Copy !req
538. There's a whole building
full of them.Copy !req
539. Oh! There it is! ebay!Copy !req
540. Ralph, we're really
gonna do it.Copy !req
541. We're actually gonna
save my game.Copy !req
542. Told you not to worry.Copy !req
543. We just gotta keep our eyes
on the prize and stay focused.Copy !req
544. Get rid of belly fat
using this one weird trick.Copy !req
545. Ooh! I love weird tricks.Copy !req
546. Sassy housewives
want to meet you.Copy !req
547. They do?Copy !req
548. Congratulations,
you're a winner!Copy !req
549. Really?Copy !req
550. These ten child stars
went to prison.Copy !req
551. Number six will amaze you.Copy !req
552. Ooh. That sounds
interesting.Copy !req
553. Wanna get rich
playing video games?Copy !req
554. Click here
to find out how.Copy !req
555. Ralph, come on!Copy !req
556. But there's a lot of
cool stuff here.Copy !req
557. I'll be right here if you
change your mind, brother.Copy !req
558. Ooh, how about you, lady?Copy !req
559. You wanna get rich
playing video games?Copy !req
560. Ladies and gentlemen,
the next item up...Copy !req
561. a black velvet painting
of a sorrowful kitten.Copy !req
562. Bidding starts at 49.99.Copy !req
563. 850 for the beaver,Copy !req
564. the beautifully
taxidermied beaver...Copy !req
565. a gently used
artificial hip...Copy !req
566. and the bidding's open
at $10. Do I hear 20?Copy !req
567. Do I hear 350?
Who'll give me 350?Copy !req
568. 50, 50, 50 now.Copy !req
569. - Who'll give me 350?
- 400!Copy !req
570. Going once,
going twice and sold!Copy !req
571. The tortilla chip shaped likeCopy !req
572. international superstar Beyonce Knowles...
goes for 400.Copy !req
573. Yay! So happy.Copy !req
574. Are you understanding
how this game works?Copy !req
575. I think all you have to do is
yell out the biggest number...Copy !req
576. and then you win this stuff.Copy !req
577. And I thought
Qbert's game was weird.Copy !req
578. Hey, kid, hop up here...Copy !req
579. and see if you can tellCopy !req
580. where they keep
their steering wheels.Copy !req
581. Uh, there's a bunch ofCopy !req
582. sports memberabilia.Copy !req
583. And big baby clothes
called "lingerie."Copy !req
584. - Huh.
- Go to the right, move right.Copy !req
585. Oh. There's a row with a
bunch of old video game junk!Copy !req
586. Oh, there it is!
There it is! I see it!Copy !req
587. Oh, someone else
is trying to win it.Copy !req
588. Come on! Hurry, let's go!Copy !req
589. We got 275.Copy !req
590. And with 30 seconds left
in the auction, we have 275.Copy !req
591. Move! Move! Hey!Copy !req
592. - That's ours! Out of the way!
- Do I hear a three?Copy !req
593. - I'll give you three!
- I got three!Copy !req
594. Can I get a 305? 305?
Can I get a 3-5?Copy !req
595. - 305.
- 305, can I get a 310?Copy !req
596. - Can you bid 310?
- 310.Copy !req
597. - 315.
- 320.Copy !req
598. 325.Copy !req
599. Oh, man, this guy is good.Copy !req
600. He keeps coming up with
numbers like it's nothing.Copy !req
601. I have three-and-a-quarter.
Do I hear 350?Copy !req
602. - 350? 350?
- Watch this.Copy !req
603. 1,000!Copy !req
604. 1,000!Copy !req
605. We now have a bid of 1,000!Copy !req
606. Way to go, kid!
That is a huge number.Copy !req
607. - Thank you.
- Check this out.Copy !req
608. 15,000!Copy !req
609. 15,000! Do I hear 15-5?Copy !req
610. 15-fiver!Copy !req
611. - 16!
- 17!Copy !req
612. - 18!
- 20!Copy !req
613. - 23!
- 25!Copy !req
614. - 27!
- 27 and one!Copy !req
615. And sold! For 27,001...Copy !req
616. to the barefoot hoboCopy !req
617. in the broken overalls.Copy !req
618. Hey, that's me!Copy !req
619. - We won!
- We won!Copy !req
620. Congratulations.
Here's your voucherCopy !req
621. for auction item 197324579.Copy !req
622. Please take it to checkout
for processing.Copy !req
623. So, we are set to shipCopy !req
624. one Sugar Rush
steering wheel...Copy !req
625. Mmm-hmm.
- ... to a Litwak's FamilyCopy !req
626. FunLand in Los Aburridos,
California.Copy !req
627. Yep!Copy !req
628. With expedited shipping,Copy !req
629. that should arrive
Wednesday morning.Copy !req
630. That's two whole days before
Litwak scraps your game.Copy !req
631. We're way ahead of schedule.Copy !req
632. We rule!Copy !req
633. I'll just need
a credit card number.Copy !req
634. Sorry, what's a
credit card number?Copy !req
635. A credit card number.Copy !req
636. Number. Right.
Uh, seven.Copy !req
637. Excuse me?Copy !req
638. Sorry, no. You're right,
ridiculous. I meant 11.Copy !req
639. Those aren't
credit card numbers.Copy !req
640. I'm pretty sure they are.Copy !req
641. How exactly do you intend
to pay for this item, sir?Copy !req
642. You owe $27,001.Copy !req
643. What?Copy !req
644. Dollars? Dollars like money?Copy !req
645. Yes, and if you don't
have a credit card...Copy !req
646. we also accept PayPal,
Venmo,Copy !req
647. ProPay, SquareCash
and BuzzzyBucks.Copy !req
648. Uh...Copy !req
649. You're gonna laugh. Okay.Copy !req
650. So this big galoot, he
left his wallet at home.Copy !req
651. Yeah, yeah, I did leave
my wallet at home,Copy !req
652. in my wallet room.
And the door's locked.Copy !req
653. Uh-huh.Copy !req
654. Look. If you don't pay
within 24 hours...Copy !req
655. you will be in violation
of the unpaid item policy...Copy !req
656. you will forfeit the bid,
and you will lose this item.Copy !req
657. Next!Copy !req
658. Hey, buddy,
you going to eboy?Copy !req
659. Well, I got some free advice
for you. Don't.Copy !req
660. What a scam!Copy !req
661. We were so close,
and we would have gotten...Copy !req
662. Look, their signs
aren't even real!Copy !req
663. What the heck? Dang Internet.Copy !req
664. Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.Copy !req
665. Hey, kid. What's going on?
What's wrong?Copy !req
666. If I don't have
a steering wheel,Copy !req
667. I don't have a game,
I'm gameless.Copy !req
668. There's only one steering
wheel in the whole Internet...Copy !req
669. and we blew our chance
to get it. We blew it!Copy !req
670. Hey, hey, hey, calm down.Copy !req
671. We came here
to save your game,Copy !req
672. and that's what
we're gonna do.Copy !req
673. Right.Copy !req
674. - Okay?
- Okay, yeah.Copy !req
675. There you go.Copy !req
676. Now look,
all we got to do...Copy !req
677. is figure out a way to earn
a little bit of moola.Copy !req
678. We're video game characters,
Ralph. We don't have moola.Copy !req
679. Unless you can think
of some magical wayCopy !req
680. to get rich
playing video games.Copy !req
681. Wanna get rich
playing video games?Copy !req
682. Click right here
to find out how.Copy !req
683. Back off, pop-up!Copy !req
684. Right this way, miss.Copy !req
685. Dang pop-up blockers.Copy !req
686. Why does everybody
gotta be so mean?Copy !req
687. Ooh! There he is! Oh, thank
goodness you're still here!Copy !req
688. Me and my friend here, we got
24 hours to make $27,001...Copy !req
689. or she loses her game.Copy !req
690. Yeah, can you please tell usCopy !req
691. how to get rich
playing video games?Copy !req
692. You bet!Copy !req
693. Come on, click here, and
I'll take you to my website.Copy !req
694. You got an ample carriage
there, buster.Copy !req
695. Causing a little drag.Copy !req
696. Sorry. You're getting close
to the edge.Copy !req
697. Huh?Copy !req
698. You see the...?
The edge. The edge!Copy !req
699. By the way,
my name is JP Spamley...Copy !req
700. and I'd like to welcome
the both of youCopy !req
701. to the Spamley family.Copy !req
702. All right,
step into my parlor.Copy !req
703. This is your website?Copy !req
704. I know what you're thinking,
not to worry.Copy !req
705. My anti-virus guy
was just here.Copy !req
706. Clean as a...Copy !req
707. Oh!Copy !req
708. Dang it!Copy !req
709. Oh, my gosh.
That's embarrassing.Copy !req
710. Anyway, I know
it's a bit of a mess...Copy !req
711. Hey, Gord!Copy !req
712. But I do have a system here,
I really do.Copy !req
713. If I can just
find that... Gord!Copy !req
714. I just got to find this list.Copy !req
715. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
716. These guys are looking to
get rich playing video games.Copy !req
717. What do you got for them,
partner?Copy !req
718. Thank you.Copy !req
719. "Fishwife's amulet,
Wizard Quest, three dollars."Copy !req
720. "Foxhole hammer,Copy !req
721. "Zombie Crusades,
five dollars"?Copy !req
722. Now, those there areCopy !req
723. some of your more
commonplace, low-dollar items.Copy !req
724. Can you back up a sec,
Mr. Spamley?Copy !req
725. Um, you're saying if we findCopy !req
726. the Golden CleatsCopy !req
727. from Pro League Soccer...Copy !req
728. we find those and bring them
back here to you...Copy !req
729. then a human being in the
real world will pay us $15?Copy !req
730. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
731. Welcome to the exciting world
of loot hunting.Copy !req
732. Folks go into games...Copy !req
733. they harvest
the most coveted items...Copy !req
734. and they sell them
on my websiteCopy !req
735. to the highest bidder.
Ha-ha?Copy !req
736. Okay, but here's the thing...Copy !req
737. we need like
a buttload of money.Copy !req
738. So, do you have any more
lucrative items, maybe?Copy !req
739. Gord!Copy !req
740. Gord!Copy !req
741. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
742. Thank you, buddy.
You're such a nice guy.Copy !req
743. Is $40,000 lucrative
enough for you?Copy !req
744. - Whoa!
- Whoa.Copy !req
745. It's more than enough.Copy !req
746. I got a guy
in Des Moines, Iowa...Copy !req
747. who will pay 40 grand
for Shank's car...Copy !req
748. from a game
called Slaughter Race.Copy !req
749. A racing game?Copy !req
750. That's right. Slaughter Race
is the most popularCopy !req
751. online racing game
out there.Copy !req
752. However,
it is wicked dangerous.Copy !req
753. We ain't afraid of danger.Copy !req
754. This kid's the best racer
in the whole world.Copy !req
755. We'll get you that car,
no problemo.Copy !req
756. Slaughter Race!
Enter at your own risk.Copy !req
757. Okay, this game
is kind of amazing.Copy !req
758. Meh, the attention to detail
is pretty impressive.Copy !req
759. I don't think
I've ever been in a gameCopy !req
760. with smog before.Copy !req
761. - Nice kitty. Nice kitty.
- Easy, boy. Easy.Copy !req
762. Let's just find Shank's car
and get outta here.Copy !req
763. Agreed.Copy !req
764. - Look. Look.
- Whoa!Copy !req
765. There it is.Copy !req
766. That car is gorgeous.Copy !req
767. No wonder it's worth so much.Copy !req
768. Aw, sugar.Copy !req
769. - Players. They beat us to it.
- Aw.Copy !req
770. 31 hours
of continuous gameplay...Copy !req
771. and we've finally
found Shank's car.Copy !req
772. Let's jack this ride.Copy !req
773. Oh, yeah, DirtySocks,
it's on.Copy !req
774. Jim! Jimmy?Copy !req
775. You're not playing that
horrible game again, are you?Copy !req
776. No, Grandma!Copy !req
777. I'm doing my homework.Copy !req
778. Okay, like I said...Copy !req
779. Let's jack this ride.Copy !req
780. Well, well, well.Copy !req
781. While the cat was away,
these mice tried to play.Copy !req
782. Hey, I think
that might be Shank.Copy !req
783. Listen up, mice...Copy !req
784. anyone who tries to play
with this cat's rideCopy !req
785. is gonna get got.Copy !req
786. You're going down, Shank.Copy !req
787. Pyro. Give those punks
the works.Copy !req
788. With pleasure.Copy !req
789. End of the road!Copy !req
790. Gosh dang it!
Now we gotta start all over.Copy !req
791. Ralph, maybe...Copy !req
792. Hey, where are you going?Copy !req
793. I am scared.Copy !req
794. If we get burned up
in here,Copy !req
795. that's it, we're dead,
we're gone.Copy !req
796. So, I think we should
get outta here right now.Copy !req
797. No, wait, wait.
I have an idea.Copy !req
798. Hey, Shank?Copy !req
799. What's up, Pyro?Copy !req
800. Um, do you ever reckon
we're going a bit too hardCopy !req
801. on the players?Copy !req
802. Honestly, no, I don't.Copy !req
803. Of course, I have empathy for
players like DirtySocks537Copy !req
804. and BabeRaham_Linkin...Copy !req
805. but if we just let them win,Copy !req
806. where's the life lesson?
You know?Copy !req
807. - Mmm.
- Yeah, but to Pyro's point...Copy !req
808. I mean, those players
work so hard to get here.Copy !req
809. I hear you, Felony...Copy !req
810. but imagine a game
without challenges.Copy !req
811. The same predictable thing
every single time...Copy !req
812. who wants that?Copy !req
813. Shank's right.Copy !req
814. I just saw a really
insightful TED talk...Copy !req
815. and I can't really remember
what the guy said.Copy !req
816. It was more about
how he made me feel.Copy !req
817. But I think, ultimately,
the point was...Copy !req
818. I honor your journeys, guys.Copy !req
819. And we honor yours,
Butcher Boy.Copy !req
820. Thank you.Copy !req
821. Hey, Shank,Copy !req
822. did you ever wonder
what it would be like...Copy !req
823. if someone actually
did get your car?Copy !req
824. Well, I know one thing...Copy !req
825. whoever does will have to
be the best of the best.Copy !req
826. Good day to you, madam.Copy !req
827. Who are you?Copy !req
828. I'm here from the, uh,
Department of Noise.Copy !req
829. And the thing is, we've been
getting some complaintsCopy !req
830. down at HQ.Copy !req
831. Uh, Larry's the one
who takes the calls.Copy !req
832. Anyways, someone told Larry...Copy !req
833. that we've been
hearing a lot ofCopy !req
834. gun sounds
and screaming sounds...Copy !req
835. and what-have-you.
That sort of thing.Copy !req
836. Whoa! This is nice.Copy !req
837. Where have you been
all my life?Copy !req
838. Uh, so I came to
check on things.Copy !req
839. Oh, I'm sorry, who did
you say you were again?Copy !req
840. Oh, I'm Larry?Copy !req
841. Uh, you said
Larry took the call.Copy !req
842. Good job, Larry!Copy !req
843. Yeah, worked like a charm!Copy !req
844. Are you kidding me?
Someone got Shank's car?Copy !req
845. And I need yours. Sorry.Copy !req
846. I'm just...
I'm just gonna go.Copy !req
847. This is the worst day
of my life!Copy !req
848. It's a shame
we have to leave so soon.Copy !req
849. This game is cool.Copy !req
850. Just get us out of hereCopy !req
851. so we can get this car
to Spamley and get paid.Copy !req
852. No problem.Copy !req
853. Uh-oh.Copy !req
854. Look at this guy
coming in hot.Copy !req
855. You mess with the bull, you
get the horns, little girl!Copy !req
856. You still have value,
Butcher Boy.Copy !req
857. Oh, no!
It's that Shank lady.Copy !req
858. She looks upset.Copy !req
859. Ah, don't worry,
I'll lose her.Copy !req
860. Where are you going?Copy !req
861. Kid, get back on the track.
I'm gonna lose my cookies.Copy !req
862. There is no track.
I can drive anywhere.Copy !req
863. Whoo!Copy !req
864. Oh, kid, she's coming up
right behind us.Copy !req
865. Oh, hello!Copy !req
866. I believe you have
something of mine.Copy !req
867. Yeah, come and get it.Copy !req
868. Ooh!Copy !req
869. This girl can drive.Copy !req
870. Would you hurry up
and lose her?Copy !req
871. I'm trying!Copy !req
872. Hang on, chumbo!Copy !req
873. I don't like this!Copy !req
874. Whoa! Mother Hubbard,
this lady can really drive.Copy !req
875. Kid, fire!
Do you see the fire?Copy !req
876. Dead end! Dead end!Copy !req
877. Not for me. Bye-bye, Shanky.Copy !req
878. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
879. - Oh, yeah!
- That's the stuff.Copy !req
880. Good job, kid.Copy !req
881. Oh, yeah,
I feel like me again.Copy !req
882. One exit straight ahead.Copy !req
883. You're not gonna lose me
that easy.Copy !req
884. How did you...?Copy !req
885. Uh, you might wanna keep
your eyes on the road.Copy !req
886. Kid!Copy !req
887. Yo, Department of Noise,
get out of my car!Copy !req
888. Oh, man,
what are we gonna do?Copy !req
889. You just stay put,
don't panic.Copy !req
890. I'm gonna talk to her.Copy !req
891. Ralph, be careful.Copy !req
892. It's fine.
This is what heroes do.Copy !req
893. My bottom is stuck.Copy !req
894. This car is not designed
for a big boy.Copy !req
895. I'll tell you that. Hi.Copy !req
896. You guys really thought
you could just steal my car?Copy !req
897. Well, let me tell you
what's gonna happen now.Copy !req
898. No, wait, listen. We aren't
normally car thieves.Copy !req
899. My friend here,
she's a candy kart racer.Copy !req
900. You should see her
racing aroundCopy !req
901. her sweet little track...Copy !req
902. in her cookie wafer car
we built together.Copy !req
903. And, well, the thing is, her
perfect little game broke...Copy !req
904. and it was my fault...Copy !req
905. so we're here
to try to fix it...Copy !req
906. and we need money to do that,Copy !req
907. and someone was
gonna pay us money...Copy !req
908. - to steal your car...
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
909. - ... and so we took it.
- You can stop crying.Copy !req
910. Though I do respectCopy !req
911. your wonderful display
of vulnerability.Copy !req
912. Thank you.Copy !req
913. I get it, I do.Copy !req
914. Friendship is
everything to us, too.Copy !req
915. - Right, guys?
- Word. We're like family.Copy !req
916. That's really great.Copy !req
917. So, does this mean
we can keep your car?Copy !req
918. Absolutely not.
But I do want to help.Copy !req
919. Hey, you got
your phone on you?Copy !req
920. - You know it.
- Let's make a video.Copy !req
921. Pyro, hit big boy
with the blow and go.Copy !req
922. I'd love to.Copy !req
923. Wait. What's the...?Copy !req
924. What are you doing?Copy !req
925. Say something, first thing
that comes to your mind.Copy !req
926. I'm gonna wreck it!Copy !req
927. Good. All right.
Turn it off.Copy !req
928. Ow.Copy !req
929. What the heck
did you do that for?Copy !req
930. Yeah.Copy !req
931. There are much better ways
to make money on the InternetCopy !req
932. than stealing cars...Copy !req
933. such as becoming
a BuzzzTube star.Copy !req
934. Am I supposed to know
what that is?Copy !req
935. Oh, come on.
Everybody knows BuzzzTube.Copy !req
936. It's the video-sharing site.Copy !req
937. I'm just starting
your account...Copy !req
938. All right, there you go.Copy !req
939. If this thing goes viral,
you can make a lot of money.Copy !req
940. A friend of mine,
chick named Yesss...Copy !req
941. she's the head algorithm
over there.Copy !req
942. Tell her I sent you.Copy !req
943. Yesss will hook you up.Copy !req
944. Wow, that's really nice
of you.Copy !req
945. I'm not sure if "nice"
is the right word.Copy !req
946. Well, thank you.Copy !req
947. I should be thanking you,
little sister.Copy !req
948. That race was fun.Copy !req
949. Oh.Copy !req
950. Well, thank you again.Copy !req
951. Uh... You know...Copy !req
952. While we're talking shop,
what move did you doCopy !req
953. to get through
that tunnel of fire?Copy !req
954. Was it a power drift into
a drift jump, maybe, or...?Copy !req
955. Maybe.Copy !req
956. If you ever wanna come back
for a rematch...Copy !req
957. I'd be happy
to kick your butt again.Copy !req
958. See you.Copy !req
959. Whoa.Copy !req
960. Show-off.Copy !req
961. Man, oh, man,
that place was scary.Copy !req
962. I know.
It was so exciting!Copy !req
963. No, exciting is
when you smile.Copy !req
964. Scary is when
you clench your butt,Copy !req
965. and my butt
is still clenched.Copy !req
966. Oh, come on, are you
honestly telling me...Copy !req
967. that Shank lady wasn't the
coolest person you ever met?Copy !req
968. Cool? Name one cool thing
about her.Copy !req
969. Um, let's see, she looks
cool, she talks cool...Copy !req
970. she drives cool, her hair
is cool, her car is cool...Copy !req
971. Wait a minute, are you
saying my hair isn't cool?Copy !req
972. What? No! I'm just saying
the game was next-level.Copy !req
973. There was no one telling you
what to do or where to go.Copy !req
974. Hey, just where do you think
you're going?Copy !req
975. To BuzzzTube.
It's this way.Copy !req
976. No, no, no. We're going
back to Spamley's.Copy !req
977. He can give us
some easier loot to find.Copy !req
978. No, we're supposed to
see Shank's friend.Copy !req
979. Oh, come on. I don't trust
that Shank one bit.Copy !req
980. - Well, I do.
- Well, I...Copy !req
981. - Hello, mister.
- Who are you?Copy !req
982. I'm your friendly
ebay alert messenger.Copy !req
983. Huh. An actual eboy.Copy !req
984. Just here to let you know your
bid expires in eight hours.Copy !req
985. Eight hours.
Okay, thanks, eboy.Copy !req
986. You got it, Jackson!Copy !req
987. Chumbo, if we nickel-and-dime
it with Spamley...Copy !req
988. it will take 20 yearsCopy !req
989. to make enough money
to buy the wheel.Copy !req
990. All right, fine.
We'll do it your way.Copy !req
991. But I'm telling you right now,
that BuzzzTube placeCopy !req
992. is a terrible idea.Copy !req
993. Man, there are all kinds of
videos in here.Copy !req
994. Yeah, if you like
babies and cats.Copy !req
995. - Look, there's you!
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
996. I'm gonna wreck it!Copy !req
997. I wonder
why those little guysCopy !req
998. are giving your video
all those hearts?Copy !req
999. Because obviously
they love me.Copy !req
1000. I told you this place
was a good idea.Copy !req
1001. Yeah,
sure you did, doof.Copy !req
1002. Now, who we supposed to see
about getting paid again?Copy !req
1003. The head algorithm.
Her name is Yesss.Copy !req
1004. No. No. No.Copy !req
1005. Uninspired, cliched...Copy !req
1006. Ugh! YouTube's got this one.Copy !req
1007. Chewbacca Dad? Really?Copy !req
1008. Yeah, it's like Chewbacca Mom,
but it's a daddy.Copy !req
1009. No!Copy !req
1010. Heyo! Are you
the head of Al Gore?Copy !req
1011. I am the head algorithm
of BuzzzTube...Copy !req
1012. which means
I curate the content...Copy !req
1013. at the Internet's most
popular video-sharing site.Copy !req
1014. Which means, I don't
have time to trifle...Copy !req
1015. with every shoeless,
mouth-breathing hoboCopy !req
1016. that trundles
into my office.Copy !req
1017. Call security, Maybe.Copy !req
1018. Yes. But, Yesss,
this is the leaf blower guy.Copy !req
1019. Who?Copy !req
1020. The man
with the undulating jowls.Copy !req
1021. So?Copy !req
1022. His video has
1.3 million hearts.Copy !req
1023. Well!Copy !req
1024. Why didn't you tell meCopy !req
1025. I was in the presence
of a genius?Copy !req
1026. Grab him a drink.Copy !req
1027. Yeah, this lady
named Shank...Copy !req
1028. she actually made the video.Copy !req
1029. She's the one who told us
to come see you.Copy !req
1030. No wonder
your video's so dope.Copy !req
1031. Shank is for real cool.Copy !req
1032. Right?Copy !req
1033. She is not.Copy !req
1034. I'm the cool one
getting all the hearts.Copy !req
1035. Well, that's right,
you big baby.Copy !req
1036. Yeah.Copy !req
1037. Um, what'd you say
your name was?Copy !req
1038. Ralph, Wreck-It Ralph.Copy !req
1039. Well, Wreck-It Ralph,
you are trending!Copy !req
1040. And these are for you. Hearts,
hearts, hearts, hearts.Copy !req
1041. - Hearts, hearts, hearts!
- Hearts, hearts, hearts!Copy !req
1042. Yes! Hearts!Copy !req
1043. Uh, not to buzzkill
the lovefestCopy !req
1044. you guys got going on here...Copy !req
1045. but Shank kinda
told us thatCopy !req
1046. viral videos can make,
like, actual money?Copy !req
1047. Oh, hearts are money, honey.Copy !req
1048. Your Buzzzy account converts
hearts into dollars.Copy !req
1049. Ka-ching!Copy !req
1050. $43,000!Copy !req
1051. Kid, we only needed $27,001.
We're done.Copy !req
1052. Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
1053. That's $43.Copy !req
1054. 43? That's not even
half of 27,001.Copy !req
1055. And we only have eight
hours left to save my game.Copy !req
1056. Ugh. Well, I hate to say it,
but that ain't happening.Copy !req
1057. Your video is tapped out.Copy !req
1058. But I thought
I was trenching?Copy !req
1059. Trending.Copy !req
1060. You were.
But that was 15 seconds ago.Copy !req
1061. Now, you're not.Copy !req
1062. Thanks for stopping by,
though.Copy !req
1063. Aw!Copy !req
1064. What are we gonna do, kid?Copy !req
1065. All right, pal, I have
an idea. And hear me out.Copy !req
1066. What if we go back
to Slaughter RaceCopy !req
1067. and I ask Shank really...Copy !req
1068. No, no, no. We're not going
back to that death trap.Copy !req
1069. Yesss, what if I made you
a whole bunch of videos...Copy !req
1070. of me doing all kinds of them
crazy things?Copy !req
1071. You mean
saturate the market?Copy !req
1072. That could get you
a lot of hearts fast.Copy !req
1073. Have you thought
this through at all?Copy !req
1074. What do you plan on even doing
in these videos?Copy !req
1075. I'll just copy
whatever's popular.Copy !req
1076. Genius. Yo, Maybe,
what's trending right now?Copy !req
1077. Mmm-hmm. Let's have
a lookie-lookie.Copy !req
1078. As usual, human suffering
is number one...Copy !req
1079. followed by hot pepperCopy !req
1080. eating challenges...Copy !req
1081. video game walkthroughs...Copy !req
1082. oh, screaming goats
are back...Copy !req
1083. unboxings, cooking demos,
makeup tutorials...Copy !req
1084. and lastly, ugh, bee puns.Copy !req
1085. Let's "bee" friends.Copy !req
1086. Two weeks in a row, guys.Copy !req
1087. That's a fortnight
of bee puns.Copy !req
1088. He won't be doing any bee puns.
They're beneath you.Copy !req
1089. Oh, I'm doing a bee pun.
Oh, yes, I am.Copy !req
1090. And I'm eating a hot pepper,
and I'm putting on makeup...Copy !req
1091. and whatever else it takes!Copy !req
1092. Because, kid, we came here
to save your gameCopy !req
1093. and we're gonna do it.Copy !req
1094. I love it! Ha!Copy !req
1095. That is what the Internet
was made for!Copy !req
1096. Now, let's get to work.Copy !req
1097. Seen it.Copy !req
1098. Saw that one.Copy !req
1099. Seen it. Seen it.Copy !req
1100. Huh?Copy !req
1101. Yo, McNeely,
you remember Wreck-It Ralph?Copy !req
1102. That bad guy
from the old video game?Copy !req
1103. Yeah, exactly.Copy !req
1104. I'm gonna send you
a super random video.Copy !req
1105. Check it out, dude.Copy !req
1106. Yeah, I'll give it a heart.
Whatever.Copy !req
1107. Hey, everybody, welcome to
Up To the Meme-ent!Copy !req
1108. I'm your host,
Dani Fernandez.Copy !req
1109. Nobody knows
who's making them,Copy !req
1110. but the whole world
is going bonkers...Copy !req
1111. over a series
of truly bizarre videos...Copy !req
1112. starring '80s-era bad guy
Wreck-It Ralph.Copy !req
1113. Check out what
everyone is buzzing about...Copy !req
1114. over at BuzzzTube.com.Copy !req
1115. Hey, guys,
Wreck-It Ralph here...Copy !req
1116. with the ghost pepper
challenge.Copy !req
1117. Supposed to be spicy.
We'll see about that.Copy !req
1118. Mmm. That's not so...Copy !req
1119. Oh, it's very hot!
Oh, make it stop!Copy !req
1120. Yo, McNeely,
another one just dropped.Copy !req
1121. Check it out, dude.Copy !req
1122. Where are these things
coming from?Copy !req
1123. Hey, Josey,Copy !req
1124. did you see
the pepper challenge?Copy !req
1125. Oh, not yet.Copy !req
1126. I'm watching the one
where he just smacks his lips.Copy !req
1127. It's disgusting.Copy !req
1128. You don't want
any real hard lines.Copy !req
1129. You just want to blend that
out there, like this...Copy !req
1130. And that, my friends,Copy !req
1131. is how you achieve
the perfect cat eye.Copy !req
1132. I always startCopy !req
1133. with the hootnanny.
Shift it into a floss.Copy !req
1134. And now I finish with
a hot Marat. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
1135. Follow along with me,Copy !req
1136. and I'm gonna give this little
cloud a little friend...Copy !req
1137. in the form of a tree.Copy !req
1138. Everybody needs a friend.Copy !req
1139. Look at these guys.Copy !req
1140. Look at this one,
sleeping under his ear.Copy !req
1141. You couch potatoes.
Wake up.Copy !req
1142. We've been baking
at about 950 degreesCopy !req
1143. now for six hours...Copy !req
1144. so she should be ready.Copy !req
1145. Voila! Burnt pie!Copy !req
1146. Let's have a little whiff
of this here.Copy !req
1147. My hair,
my hair! My hair!Copy !req
1148. This man is on fire.Copy !req
1149. Literal and figurative fire.Copy !req
1150. But he still needs
200 million heartsCopy !req
1151. in the next five hours...Copy !req
1152. or this beautiful child
loses her game.Copy !req
1153. That's why
I'm on to phase two...Copy !req
1154. you, my elite Pop-Up Army.Copy !req
1155. I need you out there
popping up...Copy !req
1156. and getting clicks
all over the Internet.Copy !req
1157. I'm talking Tumblr,
Instagram, Mashable.Copy !req
1158. Be my pied pipers andCopy !req
1159. lead that beautiful traffic
to BuzzzTube...Copy !req
1160. because Wreck-It Ralph
needs his hearts.Copy !req
1161. Hey, mister! Hey, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, you, you.Copy !req
1162. You don't wanna miss this.Copy !req
1163. It's the latest
Wreck-It Ralph video.Copy !req
1164. Click it. Click it!Copy !req
1165. Man oh Manischewitz,
that looks so fun.Copy !req
1166. Yesss, can I be a pop-up?Copy !req
1167. I don't know. Can you be
annoyingly aggressive?Copy !req
1168. I don't know.
Can I? Can I? Can I?Copy !req
1169. Can I? Can I? Can I?
Can I? Can I? Can I?Copy !req
1170. Oh, yes, you're perfect. Here.Copy !req
1171. Thank you!Copy !req
1172. If you're going, I wanna go.Copy !req
1173. No, baby, you've got to stay
here and be my movie star.Copy !req
1174. What? No, no, no. Me and the
kid are like shoes and socks.Copy !req
1175. Or peanut butter and bacon.Copy !req
1176. One cannot exist
without the other.Copy !req
1177. Go on, kid, tell her.Copy !req
1178. It's true.Copy !req
1179. In fact, it's so true
that we will be fineCopy !req
1180. if we're apart
for a minute.Copy !req
1181. Come on, pal. It's my game
we're trying to save.Copy !req
1182. I just wanna get out there
and be useful.Copy !req
1183. But without me?Copy !req
1184. What if you get lost?
You're just a kid.Copy !req
1185. Oh, and you're
some mature adult?Copy !req
1186. Well, I'm bigger.Copy !req
1187. Don't be insecure,
big fella.Copy !req
1188. She's not gonna get lost.
I promise.Copy !req
1189. She'll be in
my personal web browser.Copy !req
1190. And your app comes
with BuzzzFace...Copy !req
1191. so you can keep in touch
anywhere on the Internet.Copy !req
1192. See, I'll be fine.Copy !req
1193. I know, I just...Copy !req
1194. We haven't been apart
in like six years.Copy !req
1195. I'm going to miss you.Copy !req
1196. You'll be fine, too.Copy !req
1197. The more hearts
your videos get,Copy !req
1198. the faster
we'll get the wheel.Copy !req
1199. And then we can go home.Copy !req
1200. Look, we'll be celebratingCopy !req
1201. at Tapper's this time
tomorrow, buddy.Copy !req
1202. Yeah, I guess you're right.Copy !req
1203. Bye!Copy !req
1204. Be careful, huh?
Don't be a dummy.Copy !req
1205. So where exactly
are you sending her?Copy !req
1206. Since candy girl
comes from an arcade game...Copy !req
1207. I'm thinking she'd be good
in the gaming district.Copy !req
1208. Oh, no, no, no, no.
Bad idea.Copy !req
1209. Those games are dangerous,
and they rot your brain.Copy !req
1210. Why don't we
send her somewhereCopy !req
1211. a little more totally
different than that...Copy !req
1212. and nowhere near there?Copy !req
1213. Let's see.
Family Friendly Fansites.Copy !req
1214. That sounds safe, and she is
technically a princess...Copy !req
1215. so how about this one hereCopy !req
1216. with the sweet little
pink castle?Copy !req
1217. I love it.Copy !req
1218. Okay, I'll redirect our newest
pop-up to OhMyDisney.com.Copy !req
1219. Jeez Louise, this place
is bonkers! Whoa!Copy !req
1220. To infinity and beyond!Copy !req
1221. Aw, come on. Princesses
and cartoon characters?Copy !req
1222. Lame.Copy !req
1223. Hey, easy there.Copy !req
1224. Oh, I mean,
no offense or anything.Copy !req
1225. Well, time to get to work.Copy !req
1226. And for your final question.Copy !req
1227. "My friends
would describe me as?"Copy !req
1228. "Smart, funny,
kind, or brave."Copy !req
1229. Um...Copy !req
1230. Kind, I guess?Copy !req
1231. Based on your answers,
your princess BFF isCopy !req
1232. Snow White!Copy !req
1233. I do believe our friendshipCopy !req
1234. will be the fairest
of them all!Copy !req
1235. Hey, wanna meet my BFF?
It's Wreck-It Ralph.Copy !req
1236. Just click here
to see his new video.Copy !req
1237. Thank you.Copy !req
1238. Yeah, um, in Captain America:
The First Avenger...Copy !req
1239. Red Skull refers to Yggdrasil,Copy !req
1240. the World Tree,
Guardian of Wisdom and Fate.Copy !req
1241. Are we to believe, sir,Copy !req
1242. that you are a descendant
of that tree?Copy !req
1243. I am Groot.Copy !req
1244. Okay, okay.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
1245. Um, what is Drax really like?Copy !req
1246. - I am Groot.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1247. Yeah. Are you a conifer
or a fruit-bearing tree?Copy !req
1248. - I...
- Excuse me.Copy !req
1249. I'll take this one.
He is Groot,Copy !req
1250. I am Vanellope,Copy !req
1251. click here
to meet Wreck-It Ralph.Copy !req
1252. Eh, this is almost too easy.Copy !req
1253. Hey, do you
have a permit for that pop-up?Copy !req
1254. Uh...Copy !req
1255. That's unauthorized clickbait.
You're coming with us, kid.Copy !req
1256. Boop!Copy !req
1257. She's getting away.Copy !req
1258. This way.Copy !req
1259. Ooh!Copy !req
1260. Sorry, mister!Copy !req
1261. Hey, can't you read?
Cast members only!Copy !req
1262. I think she
went down this way. Come on.Copy !req
1263. Roger that.Copy !req
1264. Did you see
a kid come through here?Copy !req
1265. She came running through here
like a headless hen.Copy !req
1266. Any sign of her?Copy !req
1267. No, maybe she went downCopy !req
1268. to the Air Bud pavilion.Copy !req
1269. Come on. Let's check it out.Copy !req
1270. Uh, hi!Copy !req
1271. Whoa, whoa.
Ladies, I can explain.Copy !req
1272. See, I'm a princess, too.Copy !req
1273. - Wait, what?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1274. Princess Vanellope
Von Schweetz...Copy !req
1275. of the, uh, Sugar Rush
Von Schweetzes.Copy !req
1276. I'm sure you've heard of us.Copy !req
1277. It'd be embarrassing for you
if you haven't.Copy !req
1278. Huh. What kind of
a princess are you?Copy !req
1279. What kind?Copy !req
1280. - Do you have magic hair?
- No.Copy !req
1281. - Magic hands?
- No.Copy !req
1282. - Do animals talk to you?
- No.Copy !req
1283. - Were you poisoned?
- No!Copy !req
1284. - Cursed?
- No!Copy !req
1285. - Kidnapped or enslaved?
- No!Copy !req
1286. Are you guys okay?
Should I call the police?Copy !req
1287. Then I have to assume
you made a dealCopy !req
1288. with an underwater
sea witch...Copy !req
1289. where she took your voiceCopy !req
1290. in exchange
for a pair of human legs?Copy !req
1291. No! Good Lord,
who would do that?Copy !req
1292. Have you ever had
True Love's Kiss?Copy !req
1293. Ew! Barf!Copy !req
1294. Do you have daddy issues?Copy !req
1295. I don't even have a mom.Copy !req
1296. Neither do we!Copy !req
1297. And now for
the million-dollar question.Copy !req
1298. Do people assume
all your problems got solvedCopy !req
1299. because a big strong man
showed up?Copy !req
1300. Yes! What is up with that?Copy !req
1301. She is a princess!Copy !req
1302. Who made your gown?Copy !req
1303. I've never seen
anything quite like it.Copy !req
1304. Oh, this old thing?Copy !req
1305. Oh, I'd so love to
have one of my own.Copy !req
1306. - As would I.
- Me too!Copy !req
1307. - So cool.
- Best outfit ever!Copy !req
1308. Ooh! I want one, too,
you guys!Copy !req
1309. I'll get my mice on this.Copy !req
1310. So this is love.Copy !req
1311. All hail Princess Vanellope,
the queen of comfy!Copy !req
1312. Yay, Vanellope!Copy !req
1313. Of all the thingamabobs
in this entire world...Copy !req
1314. I never thought
I'd get to wear a real...Copy !req
1315. what's it called again?Copy !req
1316. Oh, yeah. Shirt.Copy !req
1317. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait! What's going on?Copy !req
1318. Uh, she's singing.Copy !req
1319. Yeah, but there was like music
and a spotlight.Copy !req
1320. Wait, you all
saw it too, right?Copy !req
1321. That's what happensCopy !req
1322. when a princess
sings about her dreams.Copy !req
1323. Oh, that's never happened
to me. I mean, not even once.Copy !req
1324. Why don't you give it
a try?Copy !req
1325. What is it you really want?
Sing about that.Copy !req
1326. Okay. Uh, sure.Copy !req
1327. Huh. I could do that.
Um, let's see.Copy !req
1328. Well, there is a lot
to unpack here.Copy !req
1329. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
1330. So, this steering wheel
you sing of,Copy !req
1331. that's a metaphor?Copy !req
1332. Oh, no, no, no, it's not
a metaphor. I just...Copy !req
1333. I literally want
a steering wheel.Copy !req
1334. I think the issue is
I was a little pitchy.Copy !req
1335. Maybe a little.Copy !req
1336. But sometimes
your song can't start...Copy !req
1337. until you go someplace
to reflect.Copy !req
1338. What works for some of us...Copy !req
1339. is finding a form of water
and staring at it.Copy !req
1340. What?Copy !req
1341. Oh, yes, I like to stare
at a wishing well!Copy !req
1342. I stare at the ocean.Copy !req
1343. Horse trough.Copy !req
1344. Soap bubbles!Copy !req
1345. Wait, you're saying if I just
stare at some water...Copy !req
1346. Uh, important water.Copy !req
1347. Right. Of course.
"Important water."Copy !req
1348. I stare at
the important water...Copy !req
1349. and somehow magically I'll
start singing about my dream?Copy !req
1350. - For sure.
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
1351. Uh, yeah, I don't think so,
ladies, but thanks.Copy !req
1352. Five minutes,
Princesses.Copy !req
1353. Another "Which Disney Princess
Are You?" quizletCopy !req
1354. starts in five minutes.Copy !req
1355. Okay, thank you.Copy !req
1356. Well, I guess it's back
to the gowns, girls.Copy !req
1357. It was lovely to meet you,
Vanellope.Copy !req
1358. And best of luck
finding your song.Copy !req
1359. Uh-huh.Copy !req
1360. What did she just say?Copy !req
1361. We don't know.
We can't understand her.Copy !req
1362. She's from
the other studio.Copy !req
1363. Ah.Copy !req
1364. Hi, everybody.
Wreck-It Ralph here...Copy !req
1365. with a little box
I'm gonna open.Copy !req
1366. Let's see what we got here.Copy !req
1367. A "Pancake Milkshake
Fun Set." Huh.Copy !req
1368. Got a little heft to it.Copy !req
1369. Something wobbling
around in there.Copy !req
1370. Wonder if we got
the kitty or the bunny.Copy !req
1371. Let's open it up.Copy !req
1372. Man, who would've
guessed a bee punCopy !req
1373. would be the thing
to put us over the top?Copy !req
1374. Huh. That's the Internet
for you.Copy !req
1375. All right, it is uploading.Copy !req
1376. Hey, mister!Copy !req
1377. Oh. Hi, eboy.Copy !req
1378. Just here to let you knowCopy !req
1379. your bid does expire
in 30 minutes.Copy !req
1380. Thanks, little eboy.Copy !req
1381. You got it, chairman.Copy !req
1382. You hear that, Yesss?Copy !req
1383. We don't have
a lot of time left.Copy !req
1384. Okay. We just gotta...Copy !req
1385. No, no, no.Copy !req
1386. No! Not you!Copy !req
1387. What? Why are you
angry at the lollipop?Copy !req
1388. What does that mean?Copy !req
1389. The file's not loading.Copy !req
1390. If this doesn't load,
we're not gonna make it.Copy !req
1391. - Hmm.
- You don't have enough hearts.Copy !req
1392. Ralph, where are you going?Copy !req
1393. I'm going down to the floor
to get some hearts.Copy !req
1394. Ah! Genius! Good thinking.Copy !req
1395. Now, someone get me
tech support in here, stat!Copy !req
1396. Only one person.Copy !req
1397. Hey, guys, come and
check out my video,Copy !req
1398. you're gonna love it.Copy !req
1399. Right, right over here.
Yep, here we go.Copy !req
1400. What are you...
You guys!Copy !req
1401. Aw. A cat?Copy !req
1402. You're gonna like this better
than some dusty old cat.Copy !req
1403. Aw.Copy !req
1404. What?Copy !req
1405. Give me that hose, partner.Copy !req
1406. You know you love me, give me those hearts.
There we go.Copy !req
1407. Hey, folks, where are you going?
Give my video a heart.Copy !req
1408. That's it.
Let's see who's in here.Copy !req
1409. Hello?Copy !req
1410. Anybody in here?Copy !req
1411. What the heck is this place?Copy !req
1412. Some kind of libary?Copy !req
1413. "Wreck-It Ralph is back."Copy !req
1414. Hey, they're talking about me.Copy !req
1415. Gee whiz,
the Internet is so positive.Copy !req
1416. "Fix-It Felix, Jr.
was my favorite game."Copy !req
1417. Hmm. Mine, too.Copy !req
1418. "Ralph's videos stink."Copy !req
1419. What?Copy !req
1420. "So stupid."Copy !req
1421. "Ralph is the worst."Copy !req
1422. "I hate him."Copy !req
1423. "He's so fat and ugly."Copy !req
1424. "Just a worthless bum,
alone on a pile of bricks."Copy !req
1425. Yo, Ralph,
you in here, dude?Copy !req
1426. Hey, I got to show you...Copy !req
1427. Oh.Copy !req
1428. First rule
of the Internet...Copy !req
1429. do not read the comments.Copy !req
1430. I should have told you that.Copy !req
1431. Look.Copy !req
1432. This place can bring out
the worst in some people...Copy !req
1433. but you gotta ignore all this.Copy !req
1434. This isn't about you, Ralph.
It's about them.Copy !req
1435. I don't care.
It's fine.Copy !req
1436. People hated me my whole life
for being the bad guy.Copy !req
1437. It's just a good reminderCopy !req
1438. that this is the only heartCopy !req
1439. that really matters.Copy !req
1440. Vanellope gave me this...Copy !req
1441. and as long as she likes me...Copy !req
1442. I don't need anybody else.Copy !req
1443. And I sure
don't need the Internet.Copy !req
1444. Hold on.Copy !req
1445. It's not all bad.Copy !req
1446. The Internet
can also be a place...Copy !req
1447. where you find a steering
wheel at one website...Copy !req
1448. and make enough money
to buy it at another one.Copy !req
1449. Congratulations, Ralph.
You did it.Copy !req
1450. Wait, really?Copy !req
1451. Yes, check your
Buzzzy account.Copy !req
1452. You needed 27K,
you got over 30 grand!Copy !req
1453. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
1454. This is great!Copy !req
1455. Thank you, Yesss. I couldn't
have done it without you!Copy !req
1456. That's really true.Copy !req
1457. Hey, eboy?Copy !req
1458. What do you need, ace?Copy !req
1459. Can you give me a ride?Copy !req
1460. Let's hop along, Cassidy.Copy !req
1461. Come on, song, come on.Copy !req
1462. I'm reflecting.Copy !req
1463. What is it that I want?Copy !req
1464. What is my quest?Copy !req
1465. What is my dream?Copy !req
1466. Well, ladies, I tried.Copy !req
1467. No song for this princess,
I guess.Copy !req
1468. Ooh! Huh.Copy !req
1469. How does this thing work?Copy !req
1470. Hey, kid, can you see me?Copy !req
1471. Yeah! Yeah,
you're right there.Copy !req
1472. We did it! We got the money!Copy !req
1473. No way, Ralph!
That's great!Copy !req
1474. I'm on my way to ebay
right now with the eboy.Copy !req
1475. We're almost there, champ.Copy !req
1476. Good work, eboy.Copy !req
1477. Hey, meet me out in front of
ebay in five minutes, okay?Copy !req
1478. Okay, I'll see you soon.Copy !req
1479. We're going home, kid!Copy !req
1480. Our lives can finally
get back to normal.Copy !req
1481. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1482. Wow, I can't believe it.
I get to go home.Copy !req
1483. So, I guess that's it.Copy !req
1484. I guess I just wanted a...
a steering wheel.Copy !req
1485. And now, I got it, so...Copy !req
1486. whoo-hoo.Copy !req
1487. Slaughter Race?Copy !req
1488. That old, tired laptopCopy !req
1489. moving at a sloth speed?
Bid on a new one today!Copy !req
1490. Do you wanna get rich
playing video games?Copy !req
1491. Click here to...Copy !req
1492. Oh. Ralph. Ralph!
Hey, there.Copy !req
1493. Oh, hey, Spamley.Copy !req
1494. What's the good word,
brother?Copy !req
1495. Well, the good word is I just
paid for the steering wheel...Copy !req
1496. and we are going home.Copy !req
1497. Congratulations.Copy !req
1498. Thanks.Copy !req
1499. Hey, have you seen
Vanellope anywhere?Copy !req
1500. Oh, uh, your little chum?
Uh, no, no, I haven't.Copy !req
1501. Hope she's not lost.Copy !req
1502. Let me try to reach her
on this doohickey.Copy !req
1503. See over there?
Over that mountain?Copy !req
1504. - Yeah.
- That's the Sequoia Speedway.Copy !req
1505. It's gonna be unlocked
next month.Copy !req
1506. Hey, what are you doing
in that awful game with her?Copy !req
1507. I think
the track will end...Copy !req
1508. right over there. Yo,
it's gonna be so tight.Copy !req
1509. Oh, I love it.Copy !req
1510. Hey, can I tell you somethingCopy !req
1511. that I don't think
I could ever tell Ralph?Copy !req
1512. Of course.Copy !req
1513. I know it sounds crazy...Copy !req
1514. but the second I walked
into this game, it felt...Copy !req
1515. Well, it felt like home.Copy !req
1516. I mean, more than
Sugar Rush ever did.Copy !req
1517. Oh, yeah? How so?Copy !req
1518. 'Cause it's like my dream.Copy !req
1519. It's full of weirdos...Copy !req
1520. and the racing
is super dangerous...Copy !req
1521. and you never know
what's gonna happen next.Copy !req
1522. I mean, back home,Copy !req
1523. I know exactly
what's gonna happen next...Copy !req
1524. because Ralph's dream is to
do the same thing every day.Copy !req
1525. Hmm.Copy !req
1526. Here's something
I wish I'd learned years ago.Copy !req
1527. There is no lawCopy !req
1528. saying best friends
have to have the same dreams.Copy !req
1529. You know?Copy !req
1530. Whoa.Copy !req
1531. Yeah.Copy !req
1532. You are a very
wise person, Shank.Copy !req
1533. And a good friend, too.Copy !req
1534. Thank you.Copy !req
1535. Around here, peeps like
to say, "Shank you."Copy !req
1536. You know,
after you go homeCopy !req
1537. and your life
gets back to normal...Copy !req
1538. you are always
welcome here.Copy !req
1539. But that's the thing,
I want this to be my normal.Copy !req
1540. I want this to be my life.Copy !req
1541. I can't go home now.Copy !req
1542. I just can't.Copy !req
1543. Wow.Copy !req
1544. You know,
where I come from,Copy !req
1545. that's called
a kick in the face.Copy !req
1546. I can't believe it.Copy !req
1547. A straight-up donkey kick
to the teeth.Copy !req
1548. She's supposed to be
my best friend.Copy !req
1549. No, this can't be right.Copy !req
1550. No, she's been brainwashed.Copy !req
1551. That's what this is.Copy !req
1552. Because the Vanellope I knowCopy !req
1553. would never abandon me
like that.Copy !req
1554. I gotta get her out
of there now.Copy !req
1555. Hey, easy now, tiger.Copy !req
1556. I admire the impulse...Copy !req
1557. but you charge in there
like some white knight...Copy !req
1558. she's liable to hold it
against you.Copy !req
1559. So what? I'm supposed to
just let her stay in a gameCopy !req
1560. that's obviously bad for her?Copy !req
1561. Of course not.Copy !req
1562. Then how do I make her leave?Copy !req
1563. She thinks it's so cool
and exciting in there.Copy !req
1564. Unless you know how I can
make the game boring or...Copy !req
1565. Wait. You know about viruses
and stuff, right, Spamley?Copy !req
1566. - Who's asking?
- Whoa.Copy !req
1567. Back home, me and the kidCopy !req
1568. used to goof off
in this game called Tron.Copy !req
1569. But then it got a virus that
made the motorbikes go slow...Copy !req
1570. and then Vanellope stopped
wanting to hang out in there.Copy !req
1571. So, is there a wayCopy !req
1572. to do something
like that to Slaughter Race?Copy !req
1573. Oh, there's ways.Copy !req
1574. Follow me.Copy !req
1575. I got mothers' maiden names...Copy !req
1576. social security numbers,
PIN numbers...Copy !req
1577. Now, this area down hereCopy !req
1578. is what's called the Darknet.Copy !req
1579. A lot of shady characters
hang out down here...Copy !req
1580. so try to keep a low profile.
Gord!Copy !req
1581. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
1582. Now Gord here, he's
dabbled in virus-making.Copy !req
1583. But his cousin, this guy
we're gonna go see...Copy !req
1584. Double Dan, this dude
is a virus-making machine.Copy !req
1585. Oh, oh, here we go.Copy !req
1586. Are you sure this is safe?Copy !req
1587. Is it safe?
Of course it is.Copy !req
1588. Just whatever you do, do not
look at his little brother.Copy !req
1589. Oh, he has a little brother?Copy !req
1590. Double Dan!Copy !req
1591. Long time no see.Copy !req
1592. Who are you?Copy !req
1593. JP Spamley.Copy !req
1594. Uh, we met one time
over at Friendster...Copy !req
1595. which tells you
it had to be a long time ago.Copy !req
1596. - Oye. What are you looking at?
- Nothing.Copy !req
1597. Are you looking at my brother?Copy !req
1598. - No, sir.
- Don't you lookCopy !req
1599. at my little brother.Copy !req
1600. - Oh, no, I wasn't.
- He's very self-conscious!Copy !req
1601. You?Copy !req
1602. What are you doing here?Copy !req
1603. Uh...Copy !req
1604. The reason I came to
your neck of the face...Copy !req
1605. I mean, there's a face
in your neck. I mean, woods.Copy !req
1606. Neck of the woods. The reason
I'm here is 'cause I...Copy !req
1607. Well, I heard
a little tumor, rumor...Copy !req
1608. I heard a rumor
that you could, well,Copy !req
1609. give me a harmless virus
kind of thing...Copy !req
1610. that might be able toCopy !req
1611. slow down
the Slaughter Ra game?Copy !req
1612. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1613. My cousin Gordon told me
that you wanted to crash it.Copy !req
1614. Crash it? No!Copy !req
1615. No, no, no.Copy !req
1616. I don't want
anyone getting hurt.Copy !req
1617. Hmm.Copy !req
1618. If there's a way
to just, uh...Copy !req
1619. I don't know...Copy !req
1620. just make the cars
go slow or something...Copy !req
1621. so the game is boring...Copy !req
1622. and my friend
comes back home to me.Copy !req
1623. Allow me to
introduce you to Arthur.Copy !req
1624. Easy there, boy.Copy !req
1625. He's keen.Copy !req
1626. Arthur's what I call
an insecurity virus.Copy !req
1627. Means he looks for
little flaws and weaknessesCopy !req
1628. that make a program insecure.Copy !req
1629. You release him into that
Slaughter Race game,Copy !req
1630. Arthur will find some defect
in the code.Copy !req
1631. Then he'll copy that defectCopy !req
1632. and spread it
all over the game...Copy !req
1633. until everything becomes,
quote, unquote, "boring"...Copy !req
1634. just like you wanted.Copy !req
1635. Okay.Copy !req
1636. Just to be super clear here...Copy !req
1637. no one gets hurt, right?Copy !req
1638. Are you stupid?Copy !req
1639. Well, uh...Copy !req
1640. Because the only way
anyone gets hurt...Copy !req
1641. is if you are stupid.Copy !req
1642. All you have to do...Copy !req
1643. is make sure the virus stays
in Slaughter Race.Copy !req
1644. Right. Don't be stupid.Copy !req
1645. Make sure it doesn't get out
of Slaughter Race.Copy !req
1646. Goiter it. Gah!Copy !req
1647. - Got it! Got it.
- Get out!Copy !req
1648. Thank you,
you're a cyst face.Copy !req
1649. - Out!
- I mean, assistance.Copy !req
1650. Thank you for your
cyst face... Assistance.Copy !req
1651. - Get out!
- Goodbye!Copy !req
1652. Ugh.Copy !req
1653. Ah! Fiddlesticks!
Well, that's game.Copy !req
1654. Ah, beginner's luck.Copy !req
1655. Come on, kid.
I know a hustleCopy !req
1656. when I see one.Copy !req
1657. - Player's on the way.
- Thanks, Bob.Copy !req
1658. - Let's roll!
- Game faces on, guys.Copy !req
1659. Show time. You ready
for your first race?Copy !req
1660. Um, yeah. I think so.Copy !req
1661. Hey, don't be nervous.
You're gonna be great.Copy !req
1662. Yeah, no, I know.
I'll be fine.Copy !req
1663. Mmm. You didn't tell
Ralph yet, did you?Copy !req
1664. Not exactly.Copy !req
1665. Come on, V.
He's your best friend.Copy !req
1666. You gotta let him knowCopy !req
1667. you're planning on
staying here for a while.Copy !req
1668. I know. But he's gonna
get really upset.Copy !req
1669. Yeah, he might,
but you guys...Copy !req
1670. you'll talk, you'll work it
out, you'll figure it out.Copy !req
1671. Yeah, but what if we don't?Copy !req
1672. What if his feelings
get hurt so bad...Copy !req
1673. he won't wanna be
my friend anymore?Copy !req
1674. Look.
All friendships change...Copy !req
1675. but the good ones...Copy !req
1676. they get stronger
because of it.Copy !req
1677. Uh, Shank,
I hate to bother you...Copy !req
1678. but the player is waiting.Copy !req
1679. I'm not gonna tell you
what to do, kid.Copy !req
1680. It's your call.Copy !req
1681. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
1682. All right.Copy !req
1683. Let's race.Copy !req
1684. Scanning for insecurities.Copy !req
1685. Scanning for insecurities.Copy !req
1686. "Precious Car-go."Copy !req
1687. Deliver the car
to Bert's Chop Shop...Copy !req
1688. but watch out
for Shank and her crew.Copy !req
1689. Power drift
into a drift jump!Copy !req
1690. I saw it! You're amazing!Copy !req
1691. Thank you.Copy !req
1692. Scanning for insecurities.Copy !req
1693. Looks like we're not finished.
Come on, V.Copy !req
1694. Ralph?Copy !req
1695. Huh.Copy !req
1696. Okay. Relax. Relax!Copy !req
1697. I'll just call him
after the race.Copy !req
1698. It'll be okay.Copy !req
1699. Ralph will be fine.Copy !req
1700. Insecurity detected.Copy !req
1701. Copying insecurity.Copy !req
1702. Distributing insecurity.Copy !req
1703. Distributing insecurity.Copy !req
1704. Distributing insecurity.
Distributing...Copy !req
1705. What is happening?Copy !req
1706. What's going on, Spamley?Copy !req
1707. The whole place
is going crazy.Copy !req
1708. I thought that virus was just
supposed to slow down her car.Copy !req
1709. It was.Copy !req
1710. It must've found something
real unstable in there.Copy !req
1711. It's her glitch.Copy !req
1712. Game reboot beginsCopy !req
1713. in 60 seconds.Copy !req
1714. Whoa, hey! Hey, Ralph,
you can't go in there.Copy !req
1715. They're gonna
reboot the game...Copy !req
1716. and anything that doesn't
belong in thereCopy !req
1717. will be deleted.Copy !req
1718. Yeah, and if I don't
get her outta there,Copy !req
1719. Vanellope's gonna die!Copy !req
1720. Come on, kid. The game's crashing.
Let's go.Copy !req
1721. I think it's my glitch.Copy !req
1722. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
destroy your game.Copy !req
1723. We'll be fine, but your code
isn't part of this game.Copy !req
1724. We got to get you out of here now.
Follow me to the exit.Copy !req
1725. Oh, no, no!Copy !req
1726. Kid!Copy !req
1727. Kid, where are you?Copy !req
1728. The server
is rebooting, Ralph.Copy !req
1729. Both of you have to
get out of here now.Copy !req
1730. Kid, I got you. I got you.Copy !req
1731. Game reboot...Copy !req
1732. in five, four, three...Copy !req
1733. two, one.Copy !req
1734. Reboot in progress.Copy !req
1735. Come on, Vanellope. Wake up.Copy !req
1736. Come on. Don't leave me, kid.Copy !req
1737. Ralph?Copy !req
1738. Oh. There you are.
You okay, kid?Copy !req
1739. Ralph, I messed up so bad.Copy !req
1740. No. No, you didn't,
it's okay.Copy !req
1741. This is all because of me
and my glitch.Copy !req
1742. I should've
just stayed with you...Copy !req
1743. instead of following
some stupid dream.Copy !req
1744. I've ruined everything.Copy !req
1745. No, kid, no.Copy !req
1746. Ah, look. I didn't mean
for it to happen like this.Copy !req
1747. It was not supposed
to be this bad.Copy !req
1748. You didn't mean
for what to happen?Copy !req
1749. I mighta,
kinda sorta put a...Copy !req
1750. harmless little virus
in the game.Copy !req
1751. A virus?Copy !req
1752. You did this?Copy !req
1753. I wouldn't have done anythingCopy !req
1754. if I hadn't heard you
tell Shank...Copy !req
1755. that you wanted to live in
Slaughter Race forever.Copy !req
1756. So you were spying on me?Copy !req
1757. Hey. You're not exactly
innocent here.Copy !req
1758. You were gonna ditch everybody
and abandon Sugar Rush.Copy !req
1759. Oh, please.
I'm one of 16 racers.Copy !req
1760. They'd never miss me.Copy !req
1761. What about me?Copy !req
1762. Why would I ever spend
another second with you...Copy !req
1763. after what you did?Copy !req
1764. No!Copy !req
1765. No.Copy !req
1766. Vanellope,
where are you going?Copy !req
1767. Wherever you're not.Copy !req
1768. Wait a minute.
I can explain.Copy !req
1769. No! You will not
follow me.Copy !req
1770. Vanellope, please...Copy !req
1771. A friend would never do
what you did. Never!Copy !req
1772. So you leave me alone!Copy !req
1773. Vanellope, no, no, no! Please!Copy !req
1774. Please! What did I do?Copy !req
1775. Scanning for insecurities.Copy !req
1776. Vanellope, come on,
don't leave me!Copy !req
1777. Insecurity detected.Copy !req
1778. Copying insecurity.Copy !req
1779. Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
1780. Distributing insecurity.Copy !req
1781. Come on.Copy !req
1782. Where is it?Copy !req
1783. Ooh!Copy !req
1784. Oh, no.Copy !req
1785. You are such an idiot.Copy !req
1786. What is your problem, Ralph?
I told you, don't follow me.Copy !req
1787. Friend?Copy !req
1788. Cut that out.
You're scaring me.Copy !req
1789. - Friend!
- Huh? Whoa!Copy !req
1790. - What the...?
- Friend?Copy !req
1791. Friend!Copy !req
1792. Sweet mother of Ralph!Copy !req
1793. In breaking news,Copy !req
1794. the Internet
is under assault...Copy !req
1795. as a massive
denial-of-service attack...Copy !req
1796. crashes servers
across the web.Copy !req
1797. The Wreck-It Ralph virusCopy !req
1798. is fast-moving
and destructive.Copy !req
1799. Friend? Huh?Copy !req
1800. Friend?Copy !req
1801. Huh?Copy !req
1802. Experts are still trying to
understand who or whatCopy !req
1803. the virus's intended
target may be.Copy !req
1804. Friend.Copy !req
1805. Friend.Copy !req
1806. Friend!Copy !req
1807. Friend!Copy !req
1808. I found 130 results forCopy !req
1809. "Where does my high school
girlfriend live now?"Copy !req
1810. You're welcome.Copy !req
1811. - Mr. KnowsMore!
- Hmm.Copy !req
1812. Oh, delightful!Copy !req
1813. You're that courteous
little cherubCopy !req
1814. who says "please"
and "thank you."Copy !req
1815. What can KnowsMore
help you find today?Copy !req
1816. There's a whole...Copy !req
1817. Whole Foods,
a hole in the ozone...Copy !req
1818. A Whole Lotta Love by
British rockers Led Zeppelin?Copy !req
1819. No! No! There's a whole bunch
of Ralphs chasing me.Copy !req
1820. Friend...Copy !req
1821. This would probably be
an appropriate timeCopy !req
1822. for me to shutter my site.Copy !req
1823. How long you thinkCopy !req
1824. before they get in here?Copy !req
1825. Precisely one second.Copy !req
1826. Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
1827. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
1828. It's me!
It's the real me!Copy !req
1829. Ow!Copy !req
1830. - Ralph?
- My apologies.Copy !req
1831. I followed those things here.Copy !req
1832. I think they're looking
for you, kid.Copy !req
1833. Yeah, you think?
What did you do?Copy !req
1834. I'm so sorry.
I don't how this happened.Copy !req
1835. Well, I think
it's fairly obvious.Copy !req
1836. It happened because
an insecurity virus cloned...Copy !req
1837. all of your needy, clingy,
self-destructive behavior.Copy !req
1838. The very behavior
which left uncheckedCopy !req
1839. can destroy friendships...Copy !req
1840. and in this particular case,
the entire Internet!Copy !req
1841. KnowsMore!
You have all the answers.Copy !req
1842. Official query...Copy !req
1843. what do I do if clones of meCopy !req
1844. are trying to capture
my friend? Search.Copy !req
1845. I find two results
for your query.Copy !req
1846. Either you put all the clones
in therapy.Copy !req
1847. Not very realistic.Copy !req
1848. Or, the anti-virus district
is surroundedCopy !req
1849. by a gate made from
security software.Copy !req
1850. If Vanellope could somehowCopy !req
1851. lead all of the clones
through the gate...Copy !req
1852. they would be deleted
all at once.Copy !req
1853. Sort of a co-dependent
pied piper situation.Copy !req
1854. Wait. We know a pied piper.Copy !req
1855. - We do?
- Yesss.Copy !req
1856. - Who?
- Yesss!Copy !req
1857. Yeah, but who is it?Copy !req
1858. Oh, you mean Yesss!Copy !req
1859. Thanks for your help,
KnowsMore.Copy !req
1860. It's a bit of an empty gesture
at this point,Copy !req
1861. wouldn't you say?Copy !req
1862. Guess I forgot
to tell RalphCopy !req
1863. that when you
break the Internet...Copy !req
1864. you don't literally
have to break the Internet.Copy !req
1865. I can't believe he did this.Copy !req
1866. Yeah, well, I mean,
dude obviously madeCopy !req
1867. some real questionable
choices here.Copy !req
1868. But he also made a bee pun to
save his best friend's game...Copy !req
1869. so what can I say, kid,
life's complicated.Copy !req
1870. You ready to pied the piper?Copy !req
1871. Yoo-hoo! Up here!Copy !req
1872. It's me, your bestest friend
in the whole wide world...Copy !req
1873. who you can't live without!Copy !req
1874. Friend!Copy !req
1875. Wow, from up here I can see
how I do come across as...Copy !req
1876. needy, and clingy,Copy !req
1877. and self-destructive
like KnowsMore said.Copy !req
1878. Listen, kid...Copy !req
1879. I don't blame youCopy !req
1880. for not wanting
to be my friend anymore.Copy !req
1881. I never said I didn't
want to be your friend.Copy !req
1882. I said you were acting like
a bad friend. Which you were.Copy !req
1883. I know I was, but I...Copy !req
1884. Hey, my babies!Copy !req
1885. That's the anti-virus district
straight ahead. Whoo!Copy !req
1886. All right, to be
continued, okay?Copy !req
1887. Whoo-hoo!
We're gonna make it!Copy !req
1888. You guys okay?Copy !req
1889. I'm fine!Copy !req
1890. Yeah, all good.
Look, we can still do this.Copy !req
1891. Come on, big man.
Help me turn this thing over.Copy !req
1892. Uh...Copy !req
1893. Uh, guys?Copy !req
1894. Friend?Copy !req
1895. That is unsettling.Copy !req
1896. Friend.Copy !req
1897. Get Vanellope out of here now.Copy !req
1898. What about you, Ralph?Copy !req
1899. Just go. I got a date with
the man in the mirror.Copy !req
1900. Hey, you!Copy !req
1901. You keep away from her!Copy !req
1902. I'm gonna wreck it!Copy !req
1903. She's not your friend!Copy !req
1904. She's my friend!Copy !req
1905. Here it is, this way.Copy !req
1906. Come on, kid.
We gotta move.Copy !req
1907. Eeeee-oh-boy!Copy !req
1908. No!Copy !req
1909. Whoa!Copy !req
1910. Vanellope!Copy !req
1911. Hey! Let go of me!Copy !req
1912. - Kid!
- Ralph!Copy !req
1913. Hey!Copy !req
1914. Hey, get back here!Copy !req
1915. Huh?Copy !req
1916. You put her down!Copy !req
1917. Whoa!Copy !req
1918. Vanellope!Copy !req
1919. You know, you're acting
like a real bad guy here!Copy !req
1920. No!Copy !req
1921. Well, you are!Copy !req
1922. And I will never
be your friend!Copy !req
1923. Hey, doofus!Copy !req
1924. Ralph!Copy !req
1925. Catch me if you can,
you big dummy!Copy !req
1926. I got you, little sister.Copy !req
1927. Now go!
Get out of here!Copy !req
1928. - Ralph!
- Go!Copy !req
1929. No!
Don't hurt him!Copy !req
1930. Please, no!Copy !req
1931. Stop it!
You're squishing him!Copy !req
1932. You're gonna
kill my best friend!Copy !req
1933. Fine! You win!
You win, okay?Copy !req
1934. Just please put him down.Copy !req
1935. I'll be your
only friend, okay?Copy !req
1936. Just let him go.Copy !req
1937. No! No, kid.Copy !req
1938. Huh?Copy !req
1939. That's it.
That's it. Yeah.Copy !req
1940. Put him down
and I'll go with you...Copy !req
1941. and we'll be
best friends forever.Copy !req
1942. Just me and you.Copy !req
1943. That's what you want, right?Copy !req
1944. Well,
that's not what I want!Copy !req
1945. It's not right to hold
a friend back from her dreams!Copy !req
1946. You don't own her!Copy !req
1947. That's not how
friendship works!Copy !req
1948. You need to let her go!Copy !req
1949. Hey.Copy !req
1950. You need to let her go.Copy !req
1951. I know. It's gonna hurt
a little bit when you do.Copy !req
1952. Oh, who am I kidding?
It's gonna hurt a lot.Copy !req
1953. But you're gonna be okay.Copy !req
1954. And we're gonna be okay.Copy !req
1955. Right, kid?Copy !req
1956. Of course we are. Always.Copy !req
1957. See? No matter
where she goes...Copy !req
1958. or where she lives...Copy !req
1959. she's always gonna
be our friend.Copy !req
1960. And we just gotta trust her.Copy !req
1961. Because that's what
best friends do.Copy !req
1962. Right?Copy !req
1963. Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
1964. Wow!Copy !req
1965. I feel good about this.Copy !req
1966. Mmm.Copy !req
1967. Mmm.Copy !req
1968. Ralph, look!Copy !req
1969. I think you fixed
your insecurity!Copy !req
1970. You're right.Copy !req
1971. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1972. Ralph, no!Copy !req
1973. Whoa!Copy !req
1974. Park it right here, Ralph!Copy !req
1975. Your ol' pal
JP Spamley's gotcha!Copy !req
1976. Whoo!Copy !req
1977. Wow, that didn't work.Copy !req
1978. Look up there!Copy !req
1979. It's a big strong man
in need of rescuing.Copy !req
1980. Hah!Copy !req
1981. Mmm.Copy !req
1982. Oh, thanks, Frogger.Copy !req
1983. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1984. Who are all of you?Copy !req
1985. We're friends of Vanellope's.Copy !req
1986. Yeah, and any friend
of Vanellope'sCopy !req
1987. is a friend of ours.Copy !req
1988. You're welcome.Copy !req
1989. Ralph!Copy !req
1990. Looking good, big fella!Copy !req
1991. Heyo!Copy !req
1992. This dress is not made
for a big boy.Copy !req
1993. It's going right up
the back alley there.Copy !req
1994. Let me just make
a little adjustment.Copy !req
1995. There we go.Copy !req
1996. Internet users are breathingCopy !req
1997. a collective sigh
of relief tonight.Copy !req
1998. Just as mysteriously
as it appeared,Copy !req
1999. the Wreck-It Ralph virus
has vanished.Copy !req
2000. You know what
I just realized?Copy !req
2001. The sun never rises
or sets here...Copy !req
2002. because everything's
always on.Copy !req
2003. Well, now, isn't that
an astute observation?Copy !req
2004. I know, right?Copy !req
2005. You know,
other than KnowsMore,Copy !req
2006. I'm probably the smartest guy
on the Internet.Copy !req
2007. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
2008. Yo, V. We're about to come
back online. You ready?Copy !req
2009. Be right there!Copy !req
2010. Hey, Ralph,
don't be a stranger!Copy !req
2011. Well, I can't be much stranger
than you, Shank.Copy !req
2012. Oh. That's a good dad joke.Copy !req
2013. Hey, don't forget.Copy !req
2014. You know Shank added
my code and everything,Copy !req
2015. so I'll be able
to regenerate.Copy !req
2016. I'm gonna be totally safe.Copy !req
2017. No, I know.
It's gonna be great.Copy !req
2018. You found your dream game.Copy !req
2019. Yeah, I did.Copy !req
2020. I did.Copy !req
2021. So, uh...Copy !req
2022. I guess I should probably
head in there now, you know?Copy !req
2023. Oh, before you go,
I wanted to give you this.Copy !req
2024. Oh, I'm so sorry
I broke it, Ralph.Copy !req
2025. No, no. It's okay.Copy !req
2026. Now we can both
have a half. See?Copy !req
2027. Yeah!Copy !req
2028. I love you so much.Copy !req
2029. I'm really gonna miss you.Copy !req
2030. I'm gonna miss you too, kid.Copy !req
2031. I really am.Copy !req
2032. All right.Copy !req
2033. Okay, getting a little clingy
on me, here.Copy !req
2034. Go on. Get out of here.Copy !req
2035. The world's
waiting for you, kid.Copy !req
2036. I'll be honest,Copy !req
2037. it still feels kind of
weird around here.Copy !req
2038. I mean, a lot has changed.Copy !req
2039. Even though we got
that steering wheelCopy !req
2040. and saved Sugar Rush...Copy !req
2041. it's never really gonna
be the same.Copy !req
2042. For one thing,
the racers aren't evenCopy !req
2043. that obnoxious anymore.Copy !req
2044. Oh, golly. I'm sorry
you didn't win, Taffyta.Copy !req
2045. Pfft! Our friendship
is much more important to meCopy !req
2046. than winning, Rancis.Copy !req
2047. Losing builds character!Copy !req
2048. Everyone's a winner, Taffyta.Copy !req
2049. Felix and Calhoun,Copy !req
2050. as goofy as they are,Copy !req
2051. they turned out to be
pretty great parents.Copy !req
2052. I gotta hand it
to you two,Copy !req
2053. how on earth did you
tame those things?Copy !req
2054. It's simple, Surge.Copy !req
2055. The key to parenting is...Copy !req
2056. And then what you do is...Copy !req
2057. And that is the secret
to raising perfect children.Copy !req
2058. Wow, I wish every parent
could hear that.Copy !req
2059. I'm keeping busy, too.Copy !req
2060. I finally joined
Zangief's book club.Copy !req
2061. Good point, Bison.
And how about you, Ralph?Copy !req
2062. Do you feel DostoyevskyCopy !req
2063. intended to make
narrator unreliable?Copy !req
2064. Um...Copy !req
2065. I do and I don't.Copy !req
2066. You do, and you don't.Copy !req
2067. Duality.
That's really deep, Ralph.Copy !req
2068. Thanks, Sonic.Copy !req
2069. I don't know
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
2070. Oh. And we got this new thing
we do every Friday night...Copy !req
2071. where we all go and hang out
in a different game.Copy !req
2072. I actually hosted this week.Copy !req
2073. Heyo!Copy !req
2074. Hope you're all hungry.
I made burnt pie.Copy !req
2075. What's burnt pie,
Wreck-It?Copy !req
2076. Oh, it's just a pie
that you burn.Copy !req
2077. You can use any pie.Copy !req
2078. You just leave it
in the oven too long.Copy !req
2079. Yeah, we really do
have a lot of fun.Copy !req
2080. I guess that's pretty much
all the news I got for you.Copy !req
2081. Oh, man, your stories
never disappoint, Ralph.Copy !req
2082. I just wish
we could hang out sooner.Copy !req
2083. Yeah. Me, too.Copy !req
2084. When did you say you were
getting those days off?Copy !req
2085. Uh, our upgrade
starts on January 25th,Copy !req
2086. so, like, two months
from now.Copy !req
2087. Oh, that'll go by in a flash.
Oh, speaking of which...Copy !req
2088. you want me to bring you
anything from homeCopy !req
2089. when I come visit?Copy !req
2090. Oh! You know what
I cannot findCopy !req
2091. anywhere on the Internet?Copy !req
2092. A halfway decent
BurgerTime burger.Copy !req
2093. I've been talking them up
to Shank and the crew.Copy !req
2094. And honestly, I think
they're starting to thinkCopy !req
2095. I'm making it up.Copy !req
2096. All right,
consider it done.Copy !req
2097. I'll bring you guys
a truckload.Copy !req
2098. Well, sun's coming up already.Copy !req
2099. Guess I better get to it.Copy !req
2100. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
2101. Talk next week?Copy !req
2102. I shall await your call,
madam.Copy !req
2103. Then, adieu, adieu,
farting is such sweet sorrow.Copy !req
2104. So long, stinkbrain.Copy !req
2105. Bye, kid.Copy !req
2106. Hey. You doing
okay there, Ralph?Copy !req
2107. Yeah, I am, actually.
I'm doing great.Copy !req
2108. Come on, Felix.
Let's get to work, buddy.Copy !req
2109. Hey, Mo, did you like
the movie, sweetie?Copy !req
2110. Well, there was a scene
in the trailer...Copy !req
2111. that wasn't in the movie...Copy !req
2112. and that makes me sad.Copy !req
2113. Aw, that's too bad.Copy !req
2114. Maybe playing your game
will cheer you up.Copy !req
2115. Okay.Copy !req
2116. Pancake.Copy !req
2117. Milkshake.Copy !req
2118. Pancake.
Pancake.Copy !req
2119. Milkshake.Copy !req
2120. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
I wanna try, I wanna try!Copy !req
2121. My turn, my turn!Copy !req
2122. Pancake. Milkshake.Copy !req
2123. Milkshake. Milkshake.Copy !req
2124. Pancake. Pancake.Copy !req
2125. Milkshake.
Milkshake.Copy !req
2126. I'm starting to understand
why people like this game.Copy !req
2127. Very zen.Copy !req
2128. Hey, everybody,
look what I found!Copy !req
2129. - More pancakes!
- Sweet!Copy !req
2130. Let's speed it up.
Pancake, pancake, pancake.Copy !req
2131. Pancake, pancake, pancake.Copy !req
2132. Pancake, pancake, pancake.Copy !req
2133. Pancake, pancake, pancake.Copy !req
2134. Eat, little bunny.
Eat, eat, eat!Copy !req
2135. Uh, Ralph, you might wanna try
feeding the kittyCopy !req
2136. for a little while.Copy !req
2137. No, the kitty gets
the milkshake.Copy !req
2138. The bunny gets the pancake.Copy !req
2139. And now,
an exclusive sneak peekCopy !req
2140. of Frozen 2. Click here.Copy !req
2141. Uh-uh!Copy !req
2142. Why would I? I like you.Copy !req
2143. You guys
still sticking around?Copy !req
2144. All right. Well,
you're welcome to stay.Copy !req
2145. There's not really any more
surprises, but, you know...Copy !req
2146. Good luck getting that song
out of your head.Copy !req
2147. It's a real earwig.Copy !req
2148. Anyway, what else? Uh...Copy !req