1. Once upon a time,
many years ago,Copy !req
2. two burglars broke
into our neighbors' house in Rockaway.Copy !req
3. Mr. and Mrs. Needleman
had gone to a movie.Copy !req
4. And the following events occurred.Copy !req
5. You think
we should answer the phone?Copy !req
6. Are you crazy?Copy !req
7. You wanna wake up
the whole neighborhood?Copy !req
8. Hello?Copy !req
9. You, Mr. Marty Needleman, have been
chosen from the telephone book to...Copy !req
10. Guess that tune!Copy !req
11. Jesus.Copy !req
12. Can you tell us what is the tune
the orchestra is playing?Copy !req
13. I can't hear it.
Find the radio and turn it on!Copy !req
14. - What's goin' on?
- Shh. I can't hear.Copy !req
15. What are you doin'?Copy !req
16. I think I know it.Copy !req
17. Jesus!Copy !req
18. Dancing in the darkCopy !req
19. Dancing in the Dark.Copy !req
20. That's right!Copy !req
21. And now for question two
on the way to the grand jackpot.Copy !req
22. Here's the tune.Copy !req
23. Are you all mine...
No, no.Copy !req
24. Chi... Chinatown...Copy !req
25. Chinatown, My Chinatown.Copy !req
26. That's correct!Copy !req
27. And now the chance
for the grand jackpot with all the prizes!Copy !req
28. This one is not so easy,
so get ready.Copy !req
29. It sounds familiar.
I don't...Copy !req
30. I know that one.
I know it from my father.Copy !req
31. - What?
- The Sailor's Hornpipe.Copy !req
32. - Huh?
- The Sailor's Hornpipe.Copy !req
33. The Sailor's Hornpipe?Copy !req
34. That's right!Copy !req
35. Mr. Marty Needleman,
you've won the grand jackpot!Copy !req
36. Ah! I'm rich!Copy !req
37. We won!Copy !req
38. That night,
the Needlemans returned homeCopy !req
39. and were shocked to find
a ransacked apartmentCopy !req
40. with $50 and some
silverware missing.Copy !req
41. But the following morning,
a truck arrived.Copy !req
42. Let's all sing
like the birdies singCopy !req
43. Tweet, tweet-tweet
tweet-tweetCopy !req
44. Now I love
old radio stories,Copy !req
45. and I know
a million of 'em.Copy !req
46. I've collected 'em
down the years, like a hobby.Copy !req
47. Anecdotes and gossip,
and inside stories about the stars.Copy !req
48. I recall so many personal experiences
from when I grew upCopy !req
49. and listened to
one show after another.Copy !req
50. This girl singing used to be a
favorite at my house, one of many.Copy !req
51. Now it's all gone.
Except for the memories.Copy !req
52. The scene is Rockaway.
The time is my childhood.Copy !req
53. It's my old neighborhood, and forgive me
if I tend to romanticize the past.Copy !req
54. I mean, it wasn't always
as stormy and rain-swept as this.Copy !req
55. But I remember it that way
because that was it at its most beautiful.Copy !req
56. In those days the radio
was constantly playing at our house.Copy !req
57. My mother, for instance,
never missed her favorite show,Copy !req
58. Breakfast With Irene and Roger.Copy !req
59. Good morning, darling.
Pass the orange juice.Copy !req
60. There you go.Copy !req
61. Quite an opening night
we attended last night, wasn't it?Copy !req
62. Yes, wasn't it divine?Copy !req
63. Everyone was there,
from Rodgers and Hart to Cole Porter.Copy !req
64. Two completely different worlds.Copy !req
65. While my mother stood
over the dirty plates,Copy !req
66. Irene and Roger ate
their elegant breakfastCopy !req
67. from their chic Manhattan town house,Copy !req
68. while they chatted charmingly about
people and places we only dreamt of.Copy !req
69. You look
marvelous, darling.Copy !req
70. Tomorrow morning
we'll tell you all about it,Copy !req
71. and also about the new Moss Hart play,
which I hear is just divine.Copy !req
72. This is Irene Draper...Copy !req
73. And Roger Daly, saying,Copy !req
74. have us for breakfast tomorrow
and every morning,Copy !req
75. and have a wonderful day.Copy !req
76. My own personal favorite show was
called The Masked Avenger,Copy !req
77. who I fantasized was a cross
between Superman and Cary Grant.Copy !req
78. Little did I know...Copy !req
79. "... while I was on the scene?"Copy !req
80. "It's the Masked Avenger!"Copy !req
81. "It's off to jail for you.Copy !req
82. "I hope you'll enjoy
making license plates."Copy !req
83. I'd like to tell you of the
Masked Avenger secret-compartment ring,Copy !req
84. and how it turned me to crime.Copy !req
85. But first you have to meet me.Copy !req
86. And my family.Copy !req
87. There I am
in my Masked Avenger hat and goggles,Copy !req
88. which I got off
my friend in a trade.Copy !req
89. And then there were
my father and mother,Copy !req
90. two people who could find
an argument in any subject.Copy !req
91. Wait a minute!Copy !req
92. You think the Atlantic
is a greater ocean than the Pacific?Copy !req
93. No. Have it your way.
The Pacific is greater.Copy !req
94. I mean,
how many people fight over oceans?Copy !req
95. Then there was my Uncle Abe.Copy !req
96. He kept bringing home fish from his friends
who worked at Sheepshead Bay.Copy !req
97. Ceil, I'm home!Copy !req
98. Ceil, I got fish.
I got great fish today.Copy !req
99. What do we need more fish for?Copy !req
100. And my Aunt Ceil,Copy !req
101. who dreamed of a more exciting life than
having to fillet his flounder.Copy !req
102. They're fresh fish!Copy !req
103. He has friends at Oscar's Dock,Copy !req
104. so he can't spend one day there where they
don't load him up with fish!Copy !req
105. You don't like it,
take the gas pipe!Copy !req
106. Next there was
Grandpa and Grandma.Copy !req
107. Every morning he spent
a half hour packing her into her corset.Copy !req
108. I'm pulling,
I'm pulling!Copy !req
109. A woman in her 70's,
and her bosom is still growing!Copy !req
110. Abe and Ceil's daughter
was Cousin Ruthie,Copy !req
111. who entertained herself by
listening to the neighbors on the party line.Copy !req
112. Mrs. Waldbaum's having her ovaries out!Copy !req
113. Both, or one?Copy !req
114. Get off the line, okay?Copy !req
115. Stop listening in on my phone!
Stop snooping on us!Copy !req
116. All right, all right!
Don't get your bowels in an uproar!Copy !req
117. Nobody's snooping.Copy !req
118. Oh, yeah? My wife hears her breathing.
And she giggles!Copy !req
119. Hey, Waldbaum! You think we care
what goes on in your house?Copy !req
120. Let them take her ovaries out!Copy !req
121. What's it our business?Copy !req
122. Mrs. Waldbaum had
a steel plate in her head.Copy !req
123. It was said she couldn't
walk near magnets.Copy !req
124. Finally, there was Aunt Bea,
who only wanted to get married.Copy !req
125. This is a lindy.Copy !req
126. My dancing teacher
gave me this great new step for it.Copy !req
127. - Hey, Tess?
- Uh-huh?Copy !req
128. Tess, I can't decide
if I should take my vacationCopy !req
129. on a cruise or go to the mountains.Copy !req
130. I mean, the men are
richer on a cruise,Copy !req
131. but there's more of
them in the resorts.Copy !req
132. What do you think, Tess?Copy !req
133. Well, I met my husband
at a mountain resort,Copy !req
134. so I advise you
to go on a cruise.Copy !req
135. That's very funny.
Can we get back to my idea?Copy !req
136. We buy cultured pearls.Copy !req
137. We box 'em here in velvet, and we sell them
mail order. I can get a good price.Copy !req
138. You were in jewelry.
It didn't work.Copy !req
139. We got stuck with
the rhinestone earrings.Copy !req
140. You don't have a business head.Copy !req
141. We got stuck with
mail-order parts,Copy !req
142. you tried seeds,
then you lost money selling greeting cards.Copy !req
143. We have 6,000 "Get Well"
cards in the closet!Copy !req
144. There aren't that many
sick people in America!Copy !req
145. Forget it. I'll spend
the rest of my life at the job I do.Copy !req
146. There's nothing wrong with it.Copy !req
147. - What do you do, Dad?
- None of your business.Copy !req
148. All my friends know
what their dads do.Copy !req
149. Don't you have any homework?Copy !req
150. Got 15 cents for
a Masked Avenger ring?Copy !req
151. What am I, made of money?Copy !req
152. Pay attention to your school work,
and less to the radio!Copy !req
153. You always listen to the radio.Copy !req
154. It's different.
Our lives are ruined already.Copy !req
155. You still have a chance
to grow up and be somebody.Copy !req
156. Think I want you workin'
at the job I do?Copy !req
157. I don't know what your job is.Copy !req
158. You gotta get an education.Copy !req
159. While I'm getting it,
can I get the ring?Copy !req
160. We don't have money to waste.Copy !req
161. You think we all like living together?Copy !req
162. We'd like to save up,
maybe have another child.Copy !req
163. Your father works all day
like a horse supporting everybody...Copy !req
164. At what?Copy !req
165. He's a big butter-and-egg man.Copy !req
166. What do you mean,
our lives are ruined?Copy !req
167. I didn't mean "ruined" ruined.Copy !req
168. We're poor but happy.
But definitely poor.Copy !req
169. Isn't this a beautiful sea bass?Copy !req
170. Who wants to join me, hmm?Copy !req
171. By now, you've probably guessed
that the Masked Avenger ringCopy !req
172. meant a lot to me.Copy !req
173. Well, it did.
Because they were gold and mysterious,Copy !req
174. and they fit any finger.Copy !req
175. The box top I already had, but the 15 cents
was hard to come by in those days.Copy !req
176. I tried not thinking about it,Copy !req
177. but it was very hard
to keep off my mind.Copy !req
178. and the masts and the sail.Copy !req
179. You even have to work with the tweezers
to get some of the small stuff in.Copy !req
180. I'll pass it around.Copy !req
181. That was lovely, Evelyn.Copy !req
182. Arnold, why don't you
show the class what you have?Copy !req
183. Stand right over there.Copy !req
184. I found this
on my parents' night table.Copy !req
185. - That will be enough! Sit down!
- What did I do?Copy !req
186. Put that thing
in your pocket and sit down!Copy !req
187. Ross, you have something
suitable to show the class, don't you?Copy !req
188. Very good.
Stand right here.Copy !req
189. This is my Masked Avenger
secret-compartment ring.Copy !req
190. It's very special to me...Copy !req
191. Now, basically
I was an honest kid.Copy !req
192. But there are some things in life
that are just too compelling.Copy !req
193. That afternoon at Hebrew school,
a scheme occurred to me.Copy !req
194. Next week,
we are going to issue collection boxes.Copy !req
195. And each of you
will be asked to go out in the streetCopy !req
196. and collect funds for the promotion
of a new state in Palestine.Copy !req
197. Can you give
to the Jewish National FundCopy !req
198. to help us build
a homeland in Palestine?Copy !req
199. Please? No?Copy !req
200. How about you?
Can you give to the Jewish National Fund?Copy !req
201. Can you help us?
Anything?Copy !req
202. Hey, how about...Copy !req
203. Can you? Can you?
No? Oh.Copy !req
204. Give to the Jewish National Fund?Copy !req
205. Hey, can you...
Excuse me, can you...Copy !req
206. Give it to me.
Please. Thank you.Copy !req
207. Guys, we got enough to get
the Masked Avenger ringsCopy !req
208. and an ice cream soda.Copy !req
209. We gotta leave some for Palestine.Copy !req
210. Why? It's all the way over in Egypt.Copy !req
211. It's a sin.
What if the rabbi catches us?Copy !req
212. He'll never find out.
Besides, I can handle him.Copy !req
213. - You sure?
- Positive.Copy !req
214. Dimes! I got four dimes!Copy !req
215. Monies for a Jewish homelandCopy !req
216. used to buy this Masked Avenger ring?Copy !req
217. My heart is full of grief.
It swells with anguish!Copy !req
218. - He'll pay back every cent.
- Yep.Copy !req
219. Shut up.Copy !req
220. I don't know what to do, Rabbi.Copy !req
221. Every night he listens to the radio.
I can't keep him away.Copy !req
222. I say, "Go to the beach,
play in the sun, get some fresh air."Copy !req
223. No. The Lone Ranger,Copy !req
224. The Shadow,
The Masked Avenger...Copy !req
225. This is no good.
This boy needs discipline.Copy !req
226. Radio... Tsk-tsk...Copy !req
227. It's all right once in a while.Copy !req
228. Otherwise it tends to induce bad values,
false dreams, lazy habits.Copy !req
229. Listening to the radio, these stories
of foolishness and violence,Copy !req
230. this is no way
for a boy to grow up.Copy !req
231. You speak the truth,
my faithful Indian companion.Copy !req
232. To a rabbi you say
"my faithful Indian companion"?Copy !req
233. Hey, don't hit my son.Copy !req
234. What kind of upbringing is this?Copy !req
235. Look, I'll hit him,
but you don't hit him!Copy !req
236. I said, I'll hit him!
You leave him alone!Copy !req
237. No, I'll hit him!
You're too lenient!Copy !req
238. Oh, I'm lenient?
What, that's lenient?Copy !req
239. I am a faithful Indian?
Such an impertinence!Copy !req
240. Rabbi, I will teach him some manners.Copy !req
241. You and that radio!Copy !req
242. - Think that's lenient?
- Enough, enough.Copy !req
243. You'll hurt the boy.Copy !req
244. And so that ended
my career in crime.Copy !req
245. And I never did get
the Masked Avenger ring.Copy !req
246. But to this day
I still get chillsCopy !req
247. when I recall
his famous sign-off.Copy !req
248. Be sure
and tune in tomorrowCopy !req
249. for another adventure
of The Masked Avenger,Copy !req
250. when he flies over the city rooftops,
and we all hear his cry...Copy !req
251. Beware, evildoers, wherever you are!Copy !req
252. Tess, did you see my yellow bag?Copy !req
253. I didn't touch it.Copy !req
254. Ooh, what is that?
Turn it up.Copy !req
255. What's the fuss?Copy !req
256. Mr. Manulis finally asked her out.Copy !req
257. What'd he do, go blind?Copy !req
258. Him with the insults, right?
Hey!Copy !req
259. Tell her she looks nice.Copy !req
260. I'll tell her,
I'll tell her.Copy !req
261. Mrs. Waldbaum
found a pocketbook in the subwayCopy !req
262. and she doesn't think
she's gonna give it back.Copy !req
263. You ought
to stop listening.Copy !req
264. - Tess, can I borrow your anchor pin?
- Sure, sure.Copy !req
265. Oh, God, he's so handsome!Copy !req
266. I waited so long!
I never thought he'd ask me!Copy !req
267. - Where'd you meet?
- In the Catskills.Copy !req
268. He rides horseback,
he dances, he's some tennis player!Copy !req
269. Sounds a perfect victim.
What's he do?Copy !req
270. His firm imports coffee.Copy !req
271. What do you do, Dad?Copy !req
272. Hey, get my cigarettes.Copy !req
273. This could be
the answer to my prayers.Copy !req
274. Isn't it time
you compromised?Copy !req
275. I don't know
the meaning of that word.Copy !req
276. So stay single.Copy !req
277. Can you smell my perfume?Copy !req
278. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh.
Okay...Copy !req
279. Ceil, get it.
I don't want to appear too anxious.Copy !req
280. I've been cleaning
fish all afternoon.Copy !req
281. - I'll get it.
- Oh, my gosh, my glasses.Copy !req
282. Almost forgot my glasses.Copy !req
283. Oh, well, hello!
Come on in. Would you come in, please?Copy !req
284. I'm Bea's sister, Tess.Copy !req
285. How do you do?
Is Bea ready?Copy !req
286. Oh, she'll only be a minute.Copy !req
287. This is, uh, most of my family.Copy !req
288. Oh, hello.Copy !req
289. And this is my husband.Copy !req
290. Oh, pleased, pleased!Copy !req
291. That's, uh,
a firm handshake you got.Copy !req
292. Well, sure. I hate when somebody shakes
your hand, they put a dead paw in it.Copy !req
293. - Sidney.
- Ahh!Copy !req
294. Have you been waiting long?Copy !req
295. Oh, not at all, sugar.Copy !req
296. Well, have a nice time.Copy !req
297. Yeah, come on, sugar.Copy !req
298. Into the old jalopy.
We're gonna paint the town red!Copy !req
299. Aw, gosh, didn't Bea look lovely?Copy !req
300. Did she fall into vat of perfume?Copy !req
301. When we were young,
of the three sisters,Copy !req
302. she was considered
the pretty one.Copy !req
303. - Some contest.
- Oh, what do you know?Copy !req
304. You're lucky I love you,
you old douche bag.Copy !req
305. Aunt Bea and Mr. Manulis
were having a wonderful time.Copy !req
306. He took her out to Coney Island,Copy !req
307. where they went roller-skating.Copy !req
308. Although she had never
roller-skated in her life,Copy !req
309. in his capable hands,
she did her best.Copy !req
310. He took her for oysters and beer.Copy !req
311. As she later told the story,
she was shy about having to wear glasses,Copy !req
312. and kept trying
to hide the fact that she needed them.Copy !req
313. Aunt Bea was really
developing a crush on Mr. Manulis.Copy !req
314. As they ate and joked,
it would have been impossible to guessCopy !req
315. that their evening
together would soon end in total disaster.Copy !req
316. Oh, did I have a wonderful time!Copy !req
317. I'm still a little tipsy
from that beer.Copy !req
318. Oh, really?
'Cause you only had one.Copy !req
319. I know, but alcohol
affects me strongly.Copy !req
320. And you, how can you even drive?
You must have had five beers!Copy !req
321. Oh, I'm a big boy.
I could have ten!Copy !req
322. Oh, and it's so foggy.Copy !req
323. Yeah. I love the fog.
It's very romantic.Copy !req
324. Uh-oh! What's that?Copy !req
325. You won't believe this,
but we're out of gas.Copy !req
326. Oh, gosh.Copy !req
327. Wouldn't you know it? Right out here on
the tip of Breezy Point, too.Copy !req
328. Looks like we're stuck here.
At least till the fog lifts.Copy !req
329. Oh, well, what's a girl to do?Copy !req
330. Oh, Sidney!
Sidney, this is our first date together.Copy !req
331. Aw, Bea,
you know how I feel about ya.Copy !req
332. We interrupt with a special news bulletin.Copy !req
333. A state of emergency has been declared
by the president of the United States.Copy !req
334. We go live to Wilson's Glen,
New Jersey,Copy !req
335. where the landing of hundreds
of unidentified spacecraftCopy !req
336. has now been officially confirmed as a
full-scale invasion by Martians.Copy !req
337. People are dying and being trampled
in their efforts to escape.Copy !req
338. The power lines are down everywhere.Copy !req
339. We could be cut off at any minute.Copy !req
340. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
341. There's another group of spaceships,Copy !req
342. of alien ships,
coming out of the sky...Copy !req
343. Despite his bravado all evening,Copy !req
344. Mr. Manulis panicked
and bolted out of the car.Copy !req
345. He was so frightened by the reports of
interplanetary invasion that he ran off,Copy !req
346. leaving Aunt Bea to contend
with the slimy green monstersCopy !req
347. he expected to drop
from the sky at any moment.Copy !req
348. She walked home.
Six miles.Copy !req
349. When Mr. Manulis called
for a date the next week,Copy !req
350. she told my mother to say she couldn't see
him. She had married a Martian.Copy !req
351. Now earlier, I promised
some inside stories about the stars.Copy !req
352. Here's a little something
that actually happened one nightCopy !req
353. with Roger and Irene.Copy !req
354. Everyone's here tonight, sweetheart.Copy !req
355. Isn't that Richard?Copy !req
356. Oh, Richard?
We saw that show at the Morosco.Copy !req
357. You're right, it's terrific.Copy !req
358. Thank you.Copy !req
359. I thought I saw Ernest Hemingway
at the bar.Copy !req
360. Well, I heard he was
in town, angel, yes.Copy !req
361. - Cigars? Cigarettes?
- I'll have some Camels.Copy !req
362. Oh, hello, Mr. Daly.Copy !req
363. Where have you been?
I can never get hold of you.Copy !req
364. I told you it was over.Copy !req
365. Please don't say that!Copy !req
366. Listen, you call me
all hours! I meet...Copy !req
367. I meet you in hotel rooms,
in the back of cars, in stalled elevators...Copy !req
368. You're gonna lose
your respect for me.Copy !req
369. Please, don't be unreasonable.Copy !req
370. Cigars? Cigarettes?Copy !req
371. Cigar, please.Copy !req
372. Thank you very much.Copy !req
373. Sally, you can't break it off now.
I'm in love with you.Copy !req
374. Yeah. If you loved me,
you'd leave your wife and marry me.Copy !req
375. I can't do that.
Our ratings are too high.Copy !req
376. Hi, Roger.
Lucky Strikes, please.Copy !req
377. I look at you
and I'm aflame with longing.Copy !req
378. Oh, what am I gonna do?
I'm a single girl.Copy !req
379. I want you, Sally.
I... I crave you.Copy !req
380. I spoke to the head
of the agency about you.Copy !req
381. He wants to meet you.Copy !req
382. Really?Copy !req
383. I told himCopy !req
384. you were the most
promising young actress I'd seen in years.Copy !req
385. But you've never
even seen me act.Copy !req
386. I've got great intuition.Copy !req
387. I care so much about you.
I've just got to have you, Sally.Copy !req
388. I'm... I'm exploding with desire.Copy !req
389. Well, I...
We can't do it now. I'm working my shift.Copy !req
390. There must be somewhere we can
be alone for a few minutes.Copy !req
391. I'd be takin' a real chance.Copy !req
392. I told my wife I was going
to have a drink with Richard Rodgers.Copy !req
393. You know,
we always table-hop for a long time.Copy !req
394. Let me think.Copy !req
395. So, as the story goes,Copy !req
396. Roger and Sally set out
to find a secluded trysting place,Copy !req
397. while Roger's wife Irene
spent her time drinking and hobnobbingCopy !req
398. with society's
most interesting and exotic Latin playboy.Copy !req
399. I... I think
it's probably pretty safe up here.Copy !req
400. And under the starsCopy !req
401. An orchestra's playing...Copy !req
402. Listen, I only got
a ten-minute break.Copy !req
403. Come here, baby.Copy !req
404. - He wants to meet me?
- Who?Copy !req
405. The head of the agency.Copy !req
406. - Yeah, yeah, definitely.
- Yeah.Copy !req
407. Oh, wait...Copy !req
408. - Can you take this off?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
409. You tell him I could sing?Copy !req
410. Sure.Copy !req
411. Like a...
Like a nightingale.Copy !req
412. - You told him that?
- Yeah.Copy !req
413. - Promise?
- Oh, yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
414. Boy, that was fast!
It probably helped I had the hiccups.Copy !req
415. I've got to get back
to the table.Copy !req
416. Sally, this door's locked.Copy !req
417. - It is?
- It's locked from the inside!Copy !req
418. Oh, no...
What are we gonna do?Copy !req
419. The trick is not to panic.Copy !req
420. There's no other way down!Copy !req
421. Well, we'll have to climb down.Copy !req
422. I can't climb down the building!
What do you think I am?Copy !req
423. Didn't you know the doors lock
from the inside?Copy !req
424. No! I never actually
came up here with anybody but you.Copy !req
425. Oh, my God!
What a predicament!Copy !req
426. And that's exactly
how it happened.Copy !req
427. No matter how hard they tried,Copy !req
428. Roger and Sally could not get back in.Copy !req
429. Legend has it
an electrical storm broke out,Copy !req
430. and that he was struck by lightning and had
to miss his show for a month.Copy !req
431. Another version of the story I heardCopy !req
432. said that Irene came up to the roofCopy !req
433. with the same intention
as her husband,Copy !req
434. and that Sally got fired.Copy !req
435. The other three
were so sophisticatedCopy !req
436. they all spent the weekend
in the same hotel suite in Havana.Copy !req
437. It's terrible.
They have no respect!Copy !req
438. They should be thrown
out of the neighborhood.Copy !req
439. It's a disgrace!Copy !req
440. My nerves are on edge from hunger.Copy !req
441. You think they fast?
They don't care about the High Holidays.Copy !req
442. They eat, even though
you're supposed to fast.Copy !req
443. Grandma can't stand
the radio next door.Copy !req
444. Oh, it's awful!
It's just awful!Copy !req
445. Wait, I don't understand.
I thought you're allowed to turn it on.Copy !req
446. No. For 24 hours you're supposed
to do nothing.Copy !req
447. Not even turn on a light switch.Copy !req
448. Just sit and fast
and pray and atone for your sins.Copy !req
449. Well, how come they're not?Copy !req
450. What do they care?
They're Communists!Copy !req
451. They don't believe in religion.Copy !req
452. Abe, go speak to them.Copy !req
453. Me? I'd like to burn
their house down,Copy !req
454. but I'm not allowed
to light matches today.Copy !req
455. At least they should
do it out of respect for their neighbors.Copy !req
456. They're Jewish,
but they don't believe in God, just Stalin!Copy !req
457. Well, I'm just gonna go
tell 'em a few things, that's all.Copy !req
458. Hey! What the hell
are you doin'?Copy !req
459. Can you turn that off?
We're praying.Copy !req
460. Praying?
You should be working.Copy !req
461. Working for the benefit
of your fellow man!Copy !req
462. It is a sin to work today!Copy !req
463. It's a sin not to work!Copy !req
464. Oh, please!
Today is the most holy day.Copy !req
465. Can't you please
turn off the radio?Copy !req
466. He's been there over an hour.Copy !req
467. Yeah. Meanwhile
the radio's still on.Copy !req
468. Be careful. The daughter
believes in free love.Copy !req
469. Why do you say that?Copy !req
470. Hear what happened
to Mrs. Silverman?Copy !req
471. She couldn't sleep.
She was up one night taking a cup of tea,Copy !req
472. and she heard a car
pull up at three in the morning.Copy !req
473. So, you know Mrs. Silverman.Copy !req
474. She always likes to know
what's going on.Copy !req
475. So she's peeking out
her front door,Copy !req
476. and there's the girl
across the streetCopy !req
477. coming back from
a folk-singing thing with a tall colored man.Copy !req
478. You're not gonna
believe this, Ceil.Copy !req
479. She gives the guy
a big, long kiss!Copy !req
480. Well, you can imagine
how Rose Silverman reacted.Copy !req
481. She had a stroke on the spot.Copy !req
482. Her arteries hardened.Copy !req
483. The woman remained frozen,
the teacup on the way to her mouth.Copy !req
484. They never saw anything
like it at the hospital.Copy !req
485. I'm telling you, Ceil,
she was as stiff as a board.Copy !req
486. - I'm home.
- It's about time.Copy !req
487. Abe, they're still carryin' on!Copy !req
488. What'd you do there
for over an hour?Copy !req
489. I talked. Or rather I listened.Copy !req
490. - Hey, you didn't eat?
- I did eat.Copy !req
491. Abe, we're fasting!Copy !req
492. They're right!
It's silly!Copy !req
493. Oh, my God, Abe!Copy !req
494. I should fast to atone for my sins?Copy !req
495. What are my sins?
Who did I bother?Copy !req
496. The only sin is the exploitation
of the worker by the bosses.Copy !req
497. Did the daughter get hold of you?Copy !req
498. See, the problem is not between man
and some imaginary super being,Copy !req
499. it's between man and the owners of 90
percent of the world's wealth.Copy !req
500. What do you mean,
"Some imaginary super being"?Copy !req
501. You don't believe in God?Copy !req
502. Religion is the opium of the masses.Copy !req
503. Abe, God will punish you!Copy !req
504. No. God is not interested in me.Copy !req
505. He...Copy !req
506. - What's the matter?
- Uh...Copy !req
507. Abe?Copy !req
508. - Chest pains.
- Abe, really?Copy !req
509. Abe, are you all right?Copy !req
510. - I can't breathe.
- No, stop it.Copy !req
511. Just relax.
Just relax.Copy !req
512. Breathe out slowly.Copy !req
513. Abe, I told you
God would punish you.Copy !req
514. I'll get the doctor's number.Copy !req
515. Maybe it's indigestion.
What did you eat there?Copy !req
516. - Uh, some pork chops.
- Pork chops?Copy !req
517. And some clams.
And chocolate pudding.Copy !req
518. Abe, how could you do this?Copy !req
519. And French fries.Copy !req
520. You won't eat
my French fries,Copy !req
521. but you eat the commies' French fries?Copy !req
522. I'm gonna get him
some bicarbonate.Copy !req
523. That's too good for him.
He deserves an enema!Copy !req
524. Oh, Ceil!Copy !req
525. Yeah, right!Copy !req
526. "Hello, sports fans,
and welcome toCopy !req
527. "today's edition of
Bill Kern's Favorite Sports Legends."Copy !req
528. Now in my family,
each person had his own favorite show.Copy !req
529. For instance,
my Uncle Abe was a great sports fan,Copy !req
530. and he always listened to Bill Kern.Copy !req
531. "Today's story is about a baseball player.Copy !req
532. "His name was Kirby Kyle,
a lean southpaw from Tennessee.Copy !req
533. "He played for
the old St. Louis Cardinals.Copy !req
534. "He threw fast, and
he had a good curve ball,Copy !req
535. "and all the hitters knew it.Copy !req
536. "He was a kid with a great future.Copy !req
537. "But one day he went hunting.Copy !req
538. "He loved to hunt,
just like his father and his father's father.Copy !req
539. "Chasing a rabbit,
he stumbled and his rifle went off.Copy !req
540. "The bullet entered his leg.Copy !req
541. "Two days later, it was amputated.Copy !req
542. "They said he would never pitch again.Copy !req
543. "But the next season he was back.Copy !req
544. "He had one leg,
but he had something more important.Copy !req
545. "He had heart.Copy !req
546. "The following winter,
another accident cost Kirby Kyle an arm.Copy !req
547. "Fortunately, not his pitching arm.Copy !req
548. "He had one leg and one arm,Copy !req
549. "but more than that,
he had heart.Copy !req
550. "The next winter,
going after duck, his gun misfired.Copy !req
551. "He was blind.Copy !req
552. "But he had instinct
as to where to throw the baseball.Copy !req
553. "Instinct and heart.Copy !req
554. "The following year, Kirby Kyle
was run over by a truck and killed.Copy !req
555. "The following season,Copy !req
556. "he won 18 games
in the big league in the sky."Copy !req
557. This has been Bill Kern
with another favorite sports legend.Copy !req
558. While Uncle Abe loved
the Bill Kern sports show,Copy !req
559. his wife Ceil adored
a very prominent ventriloquist,Copy !req
560. and this always
used to drive Abe crazy.Copy !req
561. He's a ventriloquist on the radio!Copy !req
562. How do you know
he's not movin' his lips?Copy !req
563. Who cares?
Leave me alone.Copy !req
564. Ceil and Abe's daughter
Ruthie had her own favorite program.Copy !req
565. Naturally it was one
of those romantic boy crooners.Copy !req
566. She and her girlfriends
used to sit and swoon endlesslyCopy !req
567. over the sentimental lyrics
and velvety voice.Copy !req
568. The local boys, of course,
were all a little jealous,Copy !req
569. and they used to
look on disgustedly,Copy !req
570. thinking the girls were real jerks.Copy !req
571. Then I'd rather have
nothing at allCopy !req
572. And now, ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
573. the makers of General SparkplugsCopy !req
574. bring you The Court of Human Emotions,Copy !req
575. with world-famous counselor
on affairs of the human heart,Copy !req
576. Thomas Abercrombie.Copy !req
577. And now, my friends...Copy !req
578. My mother and father
loved to hear the showCopy !req
579. where ordinary people were helped
with their personal problems.Copy !req
580. Six years ago
his mother came to live with us,Copy !req
581. and she won't leave
and he won't throw her out!Copy !req
582. How can I throw
my own mother out?Copy !req
583. Grab her by the throat
and throw her out!Copy !req
584. Oh, just like that?Copy !req
585. Yes! She has to go out
in the street!Copy !req
586. Why don't you just
stick a knife in here?Copy !req
587. I'm not sticking
a knife anywhere!Copy !req
588. - Throw my mother out!
- You take a knife!Copy !req
589. I found the show silly.Copy !req
590. I'd imagine my parents on it,Copy !req
591. airing their standard complaints.Copy !req
592. He's a business failure.
He never finishes what he starts.Copy !req
593. We're forced to live with my
relatives and thank God for them!Copy !req
594. And I could have
married Sam Slotkin.Copy !req
595. Sam Slotkin's dead.Copy !req
596. But while he was alive
he was working!Copy !req
597. She'd be lost without her family.Copy !req
598. And you should see 'em.
They're like the Huns!Copy !req
599. Maybe if I'd married
a more encouraging woman, who knows?Copy !req
600. So who do you think is right?Copy !req
601. I think you both deserve each other.Copy !req
602. What does that mean?Copy !req
603. We didn't come here to be insulted.Copy !req
604. I love him,
but what did I do to deserve him?Copy !req
605. Naturally, my folks never were
on the Mr. Abercrombie program.Copy !req
606. In fact, the only radio celebrity any of
us ever really met in personCopy !req
607. was the 14-year-old mathematical genius
of a quiz show my father lovedCopy !req
608. called The Whiz Kids.Copy !req
609. Hey, Tess.
That's one of the kids from the radio.Copy !req
610. It's a Whiz Kid.Copy !req
611. Hey, Joe,
it's one of the Whiz Kids from the radio.Copy !req
612. Hey, excuse me?
Uh, pardon me?Copy !req
613. We really enjoy
your son on the radio.Copy !req
614. You're a real genius.Copy !req
615. Yes. I have a 160 IQ,Copy !req
616. and that is extraordinary,
by any standards.Copy !req
617. And this is our son.Copy !req
618. - Say hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
619. Charmed to make
your acquaintance.Copy !req
620. Although perhaps "charmed"
is really overstating it.Copy !req
621. Your son is a whiz at math.Copy !req
622. Quick, What's 1,754
divided into 13 million, huh?Copy !req
623. Martin!Copy !req
624. This palooka can't
even pass a simple arithmetic exam!Copy !req
625. And now, if you'll excuse us.Copy !req
626. Boy, what a kid.
So well spoken.Copy !req
627. Why can't you be like that?
Why can't you be a genius?Copy !req
628. I'll tell you why. Because you're too
busy listening to the radio!Copy !req
629. Put your hat on!
Put his hat on. Honest to goodness!Copy !req
630. There's a song in the airCopy !req
631. But the fair senoritaCopy !req
632. Doesn't seem to careCopy !req
633. For the song in the airCopy !req
634. Aunt Bea listened
almost exclusively to music.Copy !req
635. Because of her, I grew up
hearing the most wonderful songs.Copy !req
636. She won't think
that I am just a foolCopy !req
637. Serenading a muleCopy !req
638. There are certain songs that,
no matter where I am,Copy !req
639. the minute I hear them
I get instant memory flashes.Copy !req
640. For instance, every time I hear this
song I think of Evelyn Goorwitz,Copy !req
641. who I had a crush on,
but who didn't like me.Copy !req
642. I remember her pretty girlfriend
treated me like I had the plague.Copy !req
643. But eventually persistence won outCopy !req
644. and I did break down her resistance.Copy !req
645. I'm gonna buy a paper dollCopy !req
646. That I can call my own...Copy !req
647. I can never hear this song without
recalling my parents' anniversary.Copy !req
648. It was the only time
I ever saw them kiss.Copy !req
649. It was a very wonderful memory.Copy !req
650. With their
flirty-flirty eyesCopy !req
651. Will have to flirt
with dollies that are realCopy !req
652. When I come home at nightCopy !req
653. She will be waitingCopy !req
654. She'll be the truest doll
in all this worldCopy !req
655. Lay that pistol down, babe
lay that pistol down...Copy !req
656. Now, when this song
was popular,Copy !req
657. I remember a strange little event.Copy !req
658. My friend Andrew and I
built a snowman outside the school.Copy !req
659. He supplemented
its anatomy with a particular vegetable.Copy !req
660. Until one night
she caught me rightCopy !req
661. And now
I'm on the runCopy !req
662. Oh, lay that pistol down
babe, lay that pistol downCopy !req
663. Pistol-packin' mama
lay that pistol downCopy !req
664. Another song
we listened to was by Carmen Miranda.Copy !req
665. I can only think of my cousin
Ruthie and how much she loved it.Copy !req
666. Mairzy Doats.
I remember when I first heard that song.Copy !req
667. I always associate
its popularity with a bizarre incident,Copy !req
668. when Mr. Zipsky,
normally a very quiet man,Copy !req
669. had a nervous breakdown
and ran amok through the shopping district.Copy !req
670. A little bit jumbled and jiveyCopy !req
671. Sing "mares eat oats
and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy"Copy !req
672. Oh, mairzy doats
and dozy doats and liddle lamzy diveyCopy !req
673. A kiddley divey too
wouldn't you?Copy !req
674. My most vivid memory
connected with an old radio songCopy !req
675. I associate with
the time Aunt BeaCopy !req
676. and her then-boyfriend ChesterCopy !req
677. took me into New York
to the movies.Copy !req
678. It was the first time
I'd ever seen the Radio City Music Hall,Copy !req
679. and it was like entering heaven.Copy !req
680. I just never saw anything
so beautiful in my life.Copy !req
681. I hope I never wakenCopy !req
682. It's more than I could bearCopy !req
683. To find that I'm forsakenCopy !req
684. If you're a fantasyCopy !req
685. Then I'm content to beCopy !req
686. In love with loving youCopy !req
687. And pray my dream comes trueCopy !req
688. I long to kiss youCopy !req
689. But I would not dareCopy !req
690. I'm so afraidCopy !req
691. That you may vanishCopy !req
692. In the airCopy !req
693. So, darlingCopy !req
694. If our romance should break upCopy !req
695. I hope I never wake upCopy !req
696. If you are butCopy !req
697. A dreamCopy !req
698. Ah! Lightning!Copy !req
699. Now, remember
Sally the cigarette girl?Copy !req
700. Well, I wanna
come back to her now,Copy !req
701. because there are some
great radio stories associated with Sally.Copy !req
702. She was one of those characters that are
always around when things happen.Copy !req
703. Plus, she eventually became the star
of Aunt Ceil's favorite show.Copy !req
704. But that's later.
Right now we find her struggling,Copy !req
705. a coat-check girl
in a nightclub run by a mobster.Copy !req
706. It's after hours.Copy !req
707. If I didn't careCopy !req
708. Would I feel this way?Copy !req
709. If this isn't loveCopy !req
710. Then why do I thrill?Copy !req
711. And what makes my head
go round and roundCopy !req
712. While my heart stands still?Copy !req
713. If I didn't careCopy !req
714. Would it be the same?Copy !req
715. Oh, my God!
You killed Mr. Davis!Copy !req
716. I saw you shoot him!Copy !req
717. Help! Oh, my God! Help!Copy !req
718. Where are you taking me?Copy !req
719. Shut up.
You're gettin' yours.Copy !req
720. It's nothin' personal.
It's just bad luck you were a witness.Copy !req
721. My whole life, I had bad luck.Copy !req
722. Me too.Copy !req
723. - Where are you from?
- Brooklyn.Copy !req
724. Yeah? Me too.Copy !req
725. Whereabouts?Copy !req
726. Canarsie.Copy !req
727. - Me too!
- Yeah?Copy !req
728. 85th Street.Copy !req
729. I was 86th Street.Copy !req
730. No kiddin'?
You must know Joey's Clam House.Copy !req
731. I ate there all the time.Copy !req
732. This is a funny coincidence.Copy !req
733. I meet nobody from
the old neighborhood in years,Copy !req
734. I finally do, and I gotta kill her.Copy !req
735. You were Freddie White's daughter, huh?Copy !req
736. I remember you when you had little pigtailsCopy !req
737. and braces on your teeth.Copy !req
738. You were the cutest little girl
in the neighborhood.Copy !req
739. Here you are.
You need bullets, too?Copy !req
740. Here.Copy !req
741. Honey, you said
you enjoyed the peppers.Copy !req
742. Yeah. They're delicious.Copy !req
743. Eat some more of these, because you said
you enjoyed them very, very much.Copy !req
744. Thank you.Copy !req
745. Where you gonna dump her body?Copy !req
746. In Jersey, Mama.Copy !req
747. Four in the morning,
you wanna dump her body in Jersey?Copy !req
748. Dump her in Red Hook!Copy !req
749. Sweetheart, look,
these shrimps are nice and fresh.Copy !req
750. I made them today.Copy !req
751. Listen, I ain't gonna
squeal, honest!Copy !req
752. I can keep a secret.Copy !req
753. I know everything
about everybody on Broadway! Really.Copy !req
754. Places I work, I got secrets on everybody.
Think I go around talkin'?Copy !req
755. But what do you do?Copy !req
756. She sings, Mama.Copy !req
757. Oh, yeah?
That's nice.Copy !req
758. I can act, too.Copy !req
759. I'd just do anything
to get on radio.Copy !req
760. I'd be happy to give
the weather report, or interview people.Copy !req
761. I think I'm a natural.
I'm a great dancer.Copy !req
762. But you can't dance on radio.Copy !req
763. I know.
'Cause they can't see you!Copy !req
764. Wait. Come here, Rocco.
I got to tell you something.Copy !req
765. You come over here with me.Copy !req
766. Listen to me.
You don't have to worry about that girl.Copy !req
767. She's not too fast up here.
She wouldn't make no trouble.Copy !req
768. I feel sorry for her.
She wants to get into radio so badly.Copy !req
769. I think some men take advantage.
She's so pretty.Copy !req
770. Listen to me.Copy !req
771. Then your cousin Angelo
could help her.Copy !req
772. Yes, because he knows
everybody on radio.Copy !req
773. He could get her
any little part,Copy !req
774. because they owe him
this favor.Copy !req
775. All right, now they not only
decide not to bump Sally off,Copy !req
776. but they get a relative
to ask an unrefusable favor on her behalf.Copy !req
777. I don't know
if people were bribed or threatened,Copy !req
778. but she suddenly
found herself with a big acting partCopy !req
779. on a very serious dramatic radio
show that was doing Chekhov.Copy !req
780. Now the payoff to the story.Copy !req
781. The country never got to hear her act.Copy !req
782. At the last minute
fate stepped in.Copy !req
783. "The Japanese have
bombed Pearl Harbor.Copy !req
784. "This morning a surprise
attack was made,Copy !req
785. "with enormous casualties
to the United States.Copy !req
786. "We are pre-empting
this show to bring you a special reportCopy !req
787. "and a statement
from the president of the United States."Copy !req
788. Aren't we gonna
do the show?Copy !req
789. What do we do,
come back Monday?Copy !req
790. Who is Pearl Harbor?Copy !req
791. In one terrible moment,Copy !req
792. world events came between
the public and Sally White.Copy !req
793. And suddenly
the nation was at war.Copy !req
794. And lives changed.Copy !req
795. And Sally, like everyone else,Copy !req
796. found herself doing her bit.Copy !req
797. I don't wanna walk
without youCopy !req
798. BabyCopy !req
799. Walk without my arm about youCopy !req
800. BabyCopy !req
801. I thought the day
you left me behindCopy !req
802. I'd take a strollCopy !req
803. And get you right off my mindCopy !req
804. But now I find thatCopy !req
805. I don't wanna walk
without the sunshineCopy !req
806. Why'd you have
to turn off all thatCopy !req
807. Sunshine?Copy !req
808. Oh, baby, please come backCopy !req
809. Or you'll break my heart for meCopy !req
810. Cause I...Copy !req
811. Don't wanna walk without youCopy !req
812. No, sirreeCopy !req
813. Let's remember
Pearl HarborCopy !req
814. My friends and I, acting on advice
from the radio G-man Biff Baxter,Copy !req
815. collected scrap iron
every day after school.Copy !req
816. Our local soda jerk, Rita, joined the WACs
and looked good in uniform.Copy !req
817. And Mrs. Riley had
a victory garden in her flowerpots.Copy !req
818. On the radio, stories changed.Copy !req
819. Now the Japanese and Germans
were the villains.Copy !req
820. "Okay, you Axis rats!Copy !req
821. "I know you got submarines
sneaking around our coast!"Copy !req
822. "We have no submarines."Copy !req
823. "Yes, you do!
U-boats and airplanes!Copy !req
824. "But we Americans are always
on the lookout, always alert! Take that!"Copy !req
825. "Okay, I think you've
learned your lesson.Copy !req
826. "One American with courage
is worth 20 of you!Copy !req
827. "Come along. Uncle Sam knows
what to do with Axis rats."Copy !req
828. My friends and I
hung on Biff Baxter's every word.Copy !req
829. When he said to watch
for enemy planesCopy !req
830. and submarines
lurking off the coast,Copy !req
831. our parents laughed.
But we took it seriously.Copy !req
832. Remember,
if we see any German planes,Copy !req
833. I do have a number to call, okay?Copy !req
834. Oh, look at that.Copy !req
835. Hey, look, there's one!Copy !req
836. No, no,
that's one of ours.Copy !req
837. I don't think the Germans
can get over here so easy.Copy !req
838. They can! The Masked Avenger
says they're working on rockets!Copy !req
839. Hey, look, a Japanese bomber!Copy !req
840. - Let me see!
- Get off.Copy !req
841. Hey, wow!
Look in that window!Copy !req
842. Let me see!
Let me see!Copy !req
843. What do you see?Copy !req
844. Jesus, what legs!Copy !req
845. Hey, it's my turn!Copy !req
846. Jungle drums were madly beatingCopy !req
847. In the glare of eerie lightCopy !req
848. While the natives kept repeatingCopy !req
849. Ancient jungle ritesCopy !req
850. All at once the dusky warriors began toCopy !req
851. Raise their arms to skies above...Copy !req
852. Oh, God, I can hardly breathe!Copy !req
853. And the native then stepped forward
to chant toCopy !req
854. His voodoo goddess of loveCopy !req
855. Ah, great BabaluCopy !req
856. I'm so lost and forsakenCopy !req
857. Later that afternoon,Copy !req
858. we all walked down
to the water's edge.Copy !req
859. The talk had shifted away
from Nazis to more important matters.Copy !req
860. Boy, she was pretty.Copy !req
861. She was nothin' special.Copy !req
862. She was all right.
But my favorite is Rita Hayworth.Copy !req
863. I like Betty Grable.Copy !req
864. I like Dana Andrews.Copy !req
865. You kidding?
Dana Andrews is a man.Copy !req
866. She is?Copy !req
867. Didn't you ever see Crash Dive?Copy !req
868. With a name like Dana?Copy !req
869. Say, guys,
wanna look for planes?Copy !req
870. I'm going home.Copy !req
871. I'll come with you.
Let's go listen to the radio.Copy !req
872. I didn't care
if the guys went home.Copy !req
873. I was in a funny mood
that afternoon.Copy !req
874. I just stood there,
looking out at the Atlantic.Copy !req
875. My mind was thinking
about life, and women,Copy !req
876. and a million different things.Copy !req
877. And then suddenly I saw it.Copy !req
878. It was just like
Biff Baxter described it.Copy !req
879. It came up and went under
so mysteriously and silentlyCopy !req
880. that I couldn't
believe my eyes.Copy !req
881. I never told anyone
about it afterwardCopy !req
882. because I doubted
my own experience.Copy !req
883. Besides, I knew that
no one would believe me.Copy !req
884. No one except Biff Baxter.Copy !req
885. They're either too young
or too oldCopy !req
886. They're either too gray
or too grassy-greenCopy !req
887. The pickin's are poor
and the crop is leanCopy !req
888. What's good
is in the armyCopy !req
889. What's left
will never harm meCopy !req
890. They're either too old
or too youngCopy !req
891. So, darling
you'll never get stungCopy !req
892. Tomorrow I'll go hiking
with that eagle scout unlessCopy !req
893. I get a call from Grandpa
for a snappy game of chessCopy !req
894. What are you doin'?Copy !req
895. I'm outta nylons.
But lots of girls paint them on now.Copy !req
896. Better hope it doesn't rain.Copy !req
897. Oh, right.Copy !req
898. Oh, I really think
this could be the one.Copy !req
899. I hope so.Copy !req
900. He's so good-looking,
he's good-natured, he has his own business.Copy !req
901. And his fiancée died last year,Copy !req
902. so he's obviously
marriage-minded.Copy !req
903. How come he's not
in the army?Copy !req
904. He has flat feet.
But that's his only drawback.Copy !req
905. You really think
you could love a man with fallen arches?Copy !req
906. I know, you think
I'm too demanding.Copy !req
907. I do. You have these
qualities you demand,Copy !req
908. and when you meet a nice man you
disqualify him for the smallest fault.Copy !req
909. That's not true.Copy !req
910. So what was wrong
with Nat Bernstein?Copy !req
911. He wore white socks with a tuxedo.Copy !req
912. That's not a good enough reason.Copy !req
913. Then when you fall in love there's
always something wrong with him.Copy !req
914. You know, they all seem fine.Copy !req
915. I don't know.
You got this sixth sense for picking losers.Copy !req
916. Sometimes I wonder,
do you really wanna get married?Copy !req
917. More than anything.Copy !req
918. Don't you think
I wanna have a child before it's too late?Copy !req
919. God, how I envy you.
I just want it to be perfect.Copy !req
920. It's never perfect. If you wait for
perfect, you don't get pregnant,Copy !req
921. you wind up
with your teeth in a glass of water.Copy !req
922. Easy for you to say.Copy !req
923. I compromised
when I picked Martin.Copy !req
924. I mean, I wanted
someone tall and handsome and rich.Copy !req
925. Three out of three, I gave up.Copy !req
926. I think you did right
to compromise.Copy !req
927. Why? You don't think
I could've done better than Martin?Copy !req
928. I know. You could've married Sam Slotkin.
So why didn't you?Copy !req
929. Oh, Sam Slotkin
was a mortician.Copy !req
930. He always smelled
from formaldehyde.Copy !req
931. And don't think that Martin
didn't compromise with me.Copy !req
932. He always dreamed of being
a business tycoon,Copy !req
933. having a beautiful blonde wife.Copy !req
934. I tell him the day
he becomes a tycoon I'll dye my hair.Copy !req
935. Well, at least
you have each other.Copy !req
936. That's all I want, someone.Copy !req
937. So you have to lower
your standards a little.Copy !req
938. You know,
marrying for love is a very recent idea.Copy !req
939. In the old country,
they didn't marry for love.Copy !req
940. A man married a woman
because he needed an extra mule.Copy !req
941. But you're the one that listens
to all the romantic soap operas.Copy !req
942. Well, I like to daydream.Copy !req
943. But I have my two feet firmly planted
on my husband.Copy !req
944. First we'll go to the movie,Copy !req
945. then eat, then maybe
I'll ask him back here.Copy !req
946. Although I don't wanna
seem too forward.Copy !req
947. Hey, you really
like this guy, huh?Copy !req
948. Oh, I like him so much.Copy !req
949. We'll say a prayer for you.Copy !req
950. And then, maybe this time next year,
you'll look like me.Copy !req
951. - You know what I was thinkin', Tess?
- What?Copy !req
952. I could learn engraving,
buy a machine.Copy !req
953. Not another get-rich scheme!Copy !req
954. I could make a few dollars engraving.Copy !req
955. - Let me tell you the beauty part.
- Yeah? I'm waiting.Copy !req
956. When you engrave
gold rings and lockets,Copy !req
957. what you cut out when
you make the letters falls on the table.Copy !req
958. It's gold dust.Copy !req
959. Forget it. It'll be like
all the other ideas.Copy !req
960. Gold dust, and the engraver owns it!Copy !req
961. Hold my wool.Copy !req
962. If it's a girl,
we could name it Lola.Copy !req
963. Lola? You want her
to be a stripper?Copy !req
964. And if it's a boy, Lionel?Copy !req
965. No son of mine
will be named Lionel.Copy !req
966. I want an I name,
after my Uncle Louie.Copy !req
967. Your Uncle Louie.
How about "louse"?Copy !req
968. The news is not good tonight.Copy !req
969. Reports are that
Nazi tank divisionsCopy !req
970. are pushing American infantrymen back
in furious armored warfare.Copy !req
971. Meanwhile, Japanese have taken control of
two more islands in the PhilippinesCopy !req
972. and are advancing
on American...Copy !req
973. This is John Jenkins
broadcasting from London.Copy !req
974. The bombs are falling
even as we speak.Copy !req
975. The morale of the boys
is good here at Guadalcanal,Copy !req
976. despite heavy losses.Copy !req
977. What do you think, Martin?
You think Hitler's gonna win?Copy !req
978. I wonder about the wisdom
of bringing new life into the world.Copy !req
979. Come on, lights out.
Blackout.Copy !req
980. Oh, God,
another air-raid drill!Copy !req
981. Between the Nazis
and the Communists, give me those reds!Copy !req
982. Stick to your fish.Copy !req
983. What do they want, those Nazis?Copy !req
984. To slaughter everyone on the planet?Copy !req
985. The Nazis, the Communists. The world
would be better off without any of 'em.Copy !req
986. You know what WC Fields said?Copy !req
987. To settle a war, the leaders
involved should meet in a stadiumCopy !req
988. and fight it out
with socks filled with horse manure.Copy !req
989. Hey, put that light out.Copy !req
990. Wake him up
to see the searchlights.Copy !req
991. No, no.
Let him sleep. He's got school.Copy !req
992. It's so beautiful.Copy !req
993. What a world.Copy !req
994. It could be so wonderful
if it wasn't for certain people.Copy !req
995. Later that night,
I was awakened.Copy !req
996. By the sound of our radio
in the kitchen.Copy !req
997. I had a very nice time.Copy !req
998. Yes, it was wonderful.Copy !req
999. It was such a clear night out.Copy !req
1000. You could see all the stars.Copy !req
1001. I think I should be going.Copy !req
1002. Oh, don't go.
It's not late.Copy !req
1003. I have to drive back
to the Bronx.Copy !req
1004. Fred, you must know
I have a little crush on you.Copy !req
1005. Please, Bea.Copy !req
1006. What is it?
What's wrong?Copy !req
1007. Nothing.
It's just that I...Copy !req
1008. I...Copy !req
1009. What's wrong?Copy !req
1010. Is it still your fiancée?Copy !req
1011. It's been such a long
period of grief.Copy !req
1012. It's not fair to you.Copy !req
1013. I know. I know.Copy !req
1014. It's just that
every time I hear that song on the radio,Copy !req
1015. my memory goes back to Leonard.
That was our song.Copy !req
1016. Leonard?Copy !req
1017. My beloved.Copy !req
1018. You never said your fiancé's name
was Leonard.Copy !req
1019. How could I?Copy !req
1020. I see.Copy !req
1021. Well, just calm yourself.
Would you like a drink?Copy !req
1022. No.Copy !req
1023. Just relax.Copy !req
1024. It's a nice song.Copy !req
1025. You guys, shut up!
The principal's coming! Sit down!Copy !req
1026. Good morning, class.Copy !req
1027. I'd like you to know that your regular
teacher Mrs. Nash is ill todayCopy !req
1028. and you will have
a substitute teacher.Copy !req
1029. Now, now.
Children, children, please, be quiet.Copy !req
1030. No noise.Copy !req
1031. I want you to be
very good today.Copy !req
1032. I want you to be on
your very best behavior.Copy !req
1033. Miss Gordon,
would you please come in?Copy !req
1034. They're all yours.Copy !req
1035. Okay, class,
we're going to begin today...Copy !req
1036. Well, first let me tell you
what my name is.Copy !req
1037. I'm Miss Gordon.Copy !req
1038. Oh, God, we're all
goin' straight to hell.Copy !req
1039. I conclude the Miss Gordon
episode with just one observation.Copy !req
1040. For some miraculous reason,
it's a wonderful feeling having a teacherCopy !req
1041. you've seen dance naked
in front of a mirror.Copy !req
1042. But that's how it happened.Copy !req
1043. I want to take a minute
to tell you how Sally wound up.Copy !req
1044. Because it's one
of the radio legends of the time.Copy !req
1045. Get regular with Re-LaxCopy !req
1046. Start every day
the Re-Lax wayCopy !req
1047. Your system
will feel so greatCopy !req
1048. You'll want
to relax on the top of the Empire StateCopy !req
1049. Get regular with Re-LaxCopy !req
1050. Start every day
the Re-Lax wayCopy !req
1051. When your tummy's
not so hotCopy !req
1052. Remember X marks the spotCopy !req
1053. Get regular with Re-LaxCopy !req
1054. The Re-Lax wayCopy !req
1055. No, no, more feeling!
It has no inner life.Copy !req
1056. We need the name of the productCopy !req
1057. to be enunciated a little more clearly.Copy !req
1058. I'll deal with the performers.Copy !req
1059. Cut the phrase
"X marks the spot".Copy !req
1060. People will be reminded of Ex-Lax.Copy !req
1061. - You're being too touchy.
- Why take the chance?Copy !req
1062. Let's run it again, Sally.Copy !req
1063. Three, four...Copy !req
1064. Get regular with Re-LaxCopy !req
1065. Start every day
the Re-Lax wayCopy !req
1066. - Your system will feel so great...
- No, no!Copy !req
1067. Like this...Copy !req
1068. Re-Lax, Re-Lax...Copy !req
1069. Well, what...
What should I be thinking inside?Copy !req
1070. Think laxative.Copy !req
1071. Think soothing relief.Copy !req
1072. Please, I'll give her
her motivation.Copy !req
1073. Laxative, darling.
You crave one.Copy !req
1074. - Try again.
- Three, four...Copy !req
1075. Get regular with Re-LaxCopy !req
1076. Start every day
the Re-Lax wayCopy !req
1077. Your system
will feel so greatCopy !req
1078. You'll want
to relax on the top of the Empire State...Copy !req
1079. It's not the commercial.
It's the girl. She has no flair for it.Copy !req
1080. She's the best
to audition.Copy !req
1081. What do you think,
Mr. Monroe?Copy !req
1082. I think she's correct
to represent my laxative.Copy !req
1083. She's fresh,
her voice is natural, and she does it simply.Copy !req
1084. Definitely.Copy !req
1085. What do you think, Doris?Copy !req
1086. I don't like her.Copy !req
1087. Get rid of her.Copy !req
1088. Sally hung around Broadway and tried
to break into broadcasting.Copy !req
1089. But the only roles she ever seemed
to get were in the bedroom.Copy !req
1090. Then one day,
as she'd later tell her biographer,Copy !req
1091. the voice of God told her to take diction
lessons, and her whole life changed.Copy !req
1092. Hark. I hear the cannons roar.Copy !req
1093. Is it the king approaching?Copy !req
1094. Hark, I hear the cannons roar.Copy !req
1095. Is it the king approaching?Copy !req
1096. Hark, I hear the cannons roar.Copy !req
1097. Is it the king approaching?Copy !req
1098. Hark, I hear the cannons roar.Copy !req
1099. Is it the king approaching?Copy !req
1100. No, no, no.
The cannons roar. The cannons roar.Copy !req
1101. The cannons roar.Copy !req
1102. Hark, I hear the cannons roar.Copy !req
1103. Is it the king approaching?Copy !req
1104. Sally practiced
faithfully every day for many months.Copy !req
1105. Her natural speech
was a great obstacle to get over.Copy !req
1106. Yet through diligence
and perseverance,Copy !req
1107. plus a special, intimate knowledge
of many Broadway personalities,Copy !req
1108. it was only a question of timeCopy !req
1109. before she emerged
a full-blown star.Copy !req
1110. Ah...Copy !req
1111. "And now, the makers of
Lady Lydia Facial CreamCopy !req
1112. "bring you
Sally White and Her Gay White Way."Copy !req
1113. "Good evening, and cheers
to you all out there.Copy !req
1114. "My first exclusive. Clark Gable was in
town this week, in uniform.Copy !req
1115. "And where did he go?
To El Morocco, naturally.Copy !req
1116. "That brunette on his arm was Lolly
Hayes, an up-and-coming starlet.Copy !req
1117. "Hope you had fun, Clark.Copy !req
1118. "And didn't Rita Hayworth look stunning
last night at the Copacabana?"Copy !req
1119. Oh, Abe, how come you never take me to
the Copacabana or El Morocco?Copy !req
1120. Take the gas pipe.Copy !req
1121. You'd be happier with Rita Hayworth?Copy !req
1122. You gotta ask?Copy !req
1123. Those show-business celebrities
get divorced every six weeks.Copy !req
1124. But we're together forever.Copy !req
1125. I may take the gas pipe.Copy !req
1126. Just once I'd like to eat
at the Stork Club.Copy !req
1127. They don't take Jews in the Stork Club.
No Jews, no colored.Copy !req
1128. Abe, this is the
United States of America.Copy !req
1129. Yeah? Try taking
Minnie's maid Cleopatra to the Stork Club,Copy !req
1130. you'd get curb service.Copy !req
1131. Don't hit it, Abe.
You'll break it.Copy !req
1132. I know what I'm doing!Copy !req
1133. Naturally, he did break it.Copy !req
1134. He sent it out to be repaired,Copy !req
1135. and a week later
I was sent to pick it up.Copy !req
1136. My parents told me that,
since it was so heavy,Copy !req
1137. I could take it home by taxi.Copy !req
1138. But I had a brilliant plan.Copy !req
1139. I figured if I carried it,
I could keep the cab fare.Copy !req
1140. The first half mile
was barely manageable.Copy !req
1141. Pretty soon I realized
I'd have to give inCopy !req
1142. and that I was not
gonna save any money.Copy !req
1143. Thanks.Copy !req
1144. You?Copy !req
1145. I'm helpin' out a friend,
you know.Copy !req
1146. Come on, get in.Copy !req
1147. That's how I found
out what my father did for a living.Copy !req
1148. For some strange reason,
he was ashamed of it.Copy !req
1149. Even then, he didn't admit it.Copy !req
1150. It didn't bother me
one bit though.Copy !req
1151. I loved him.Copy !req
1152. In fact, I gave him
the biggest tip he got all day.Copy !req
1153. Jimson's Coffee is having
a slogan contest.Copy !req
1154. You write it in to their radio show
and win a refrigerator.Copy !req
1155. - Fraud!
- What's a good slogan?Copy !req
1156. Wait, I got one. How about
"A coffee with oomph"?Copy !req
1157. That's terrible.Copy !req
1158. Oh, yeah?
What's your idea, big shot?Copy !req
1159. "Good to the last drop"?Copy !req
1160. That's Maxwell House.
Come on.Copy !req
1161. I knew I'd heard it.Copy !req
1162. "It won't keep you awake,
it will keep you happy."Copy !req
1163. That's not bad.Copy !req
1164. It's catchy, right?Copy !req
1165. - Hoo! Hoo!
- What? What? This is it!Copy !req
1166. Hey, Ceil! All right,
easy, easy, easy.Copy !req
1167. Now put your arm around me.
Put your arm around me.Copy !req
1168. Nice and easy.
Ceil, this is it. This is it.Copy !req
1169. I'm so excited!
A baby! I can't wait!Copy !req
1170. I want a girl.Copy !req
1171. You should get a girl. Abe, isn't this
wonderful? You want another baby?Copy !req
1172. Slow. Slow. Slow.Copy !req
1173. You got the bag?Copy !req
1174. The suitcase
is in the closet.Copy !req
1175. There you go, honey.
You did a good job.Copy !req
1176. You did a good
job too, Martin.Copy !req
1177. I did a great job.Copy !req
1178. Tess, you haven't met Sy yet.Copy !req
1179. Pleased to meet you, Sy.Copy !req
1180. My pleasure.
Congratulations.Copy !req
1181. Oh, and this is my
brother-in-law Abe. And Ceil.Copy !req
1182. We better be going.
We're taking your son into Manhattan.Copy !req
1183. Oh, great.
That'll be fun.Copy !req
1184. Sy has a new car,
and we'll do some driving.Copy !req
1185. Don't lose him, huh?Copy !req
1186. We'll take good care of him.Copy !req
1187. I'll be good, don't worry.Copy !req
1188. Have a good time.
That's nice, Bea. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
1189. Don't give 'em any trouble,
all right?Copy !req
1190. - Bye, now.
- Bye.Copy !req
1191. He's nice.
Nice-lookin'.Copy !req
1192. He's not bad.
I like him.Copy !req
1193. Why is she wasting
her time with him? He's married.Copy !req
1194. Really?Copy !req
1195. He's supposed to be
getting out of it,Copy !req
1196. but you know how tight
some women hold on.Copy !req
1197. Tell me about it!Copy !req
1198. Well, I hope she knows
what she's doin'.Copy !req
1199. Martin, are you sure
you wanna call the baby Ellen?Copy !req
1200. Sure, why not?
In memory of your cousin Eddie.Copy !req
1201. In memory?
He's not dead yet.Copy !req
1202. He should be.Copy !req
1203. Aunt Bea and
her boyfriend gave meCopy !req
1204. one of the best days
I ever had.Copy !req
1205. They took me
to my first radio show.Copy !req
1206. And if that wasn't thrill enough,Copy !req
1207. Aunt Bea was chosen
as a contestant.Copy !req
1208. You're from Rockaway, huh?Copy !req
1209. Yes.Copy !req
1210. And what do you do, Bea?Copy !req
1211. I'm a bookkeeper.Copy !req
1212. Oh. For a minute,
I thought you said beekeeper.Copy !req
1213. I'd hate to get stung.Copy !req
1214. Now, you chose
as your topic "fish".Copy !req
1215. How'd you get
to know about fish?Copy !req
1216. Well, my brother-in-law brings home fish
from Sheepshead Bay all the time,Copy !req
1217. and after a while
you get to identify them.Copy !req
1218. Ah, that's great. I get it.Copy !req
1219. Well, can you tell me
what this is?Copy !req
1220. Aunt Bea had no trouble.Copy !req
1221. Years of living with Uncle Abe had turned
us all into ichthyologists.Copy !req
1222. And finally,
how about this one?Copy !req
1223. That's a flounder.Copy !req
1224. No, no, no.
That's a fluke.Copy !req
1225. You're sure?Copy !req
1226. That's a fluke.Copy !req
1227. Well, this is no fluke!Copy !req
1228. You've won
50 silver dollars!Copy !req
1229. Boy, a chemistry set!
I can't believe it!Copy !req
1230. I've always wanted
one of these!Copy !req
1231. I can't wait to get
home and open this! This is fantastic!Copy !req
1232. Bea?Copy !req
1233. It was a lovely afternoon.
A lovely afternoon.Copy !req
1234. Gosh, I almost forgot what a fluke looked
like. Good thing I remembered.Copy !req
1235. This time next week we won't have
anything hanging over our heads.Copy !req
1236. I'll be free of all my obligations.Copy !req
1237. Are you sure, Sy?Copy !req
1238. I've only stayed
because of the children.Copy !req
1239. I'm telling you, Bea.
Mark my words.Copy !req
1240. This time next week
I'll be a free man.Copy !req
1241. And the most expensive
one in the store, too! I can't believe this!Copy !req
1242. So what are we
gonna do with the rest of the money?Copy !req
1243. What Aunt Bea did
with the rest of the moneyCopy !req
1244. was treat us all
to a Broadway dance palace.Copy !req
1245. She and Sy seemed
very much in love, and she seemed happy.Copy !req
1246. But it was not to be.Copy !req
1247. Because after a week,
Sy did not leave his wife and children.Copy !req
1248. Nor did he after two weeks, nor ever.Copy !req
1249. And as the year came to a close,Copy !req
1250. Aunt Bea would soon be back
to her old dreams of finding a true love.Copy !req
1251. Still, on this night
no one had any thoughtsCopy !req
1252. except what a wonderful time
we were all having.Copy !req
1253. Oh! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1254. Did you do this?
I'll kill you!Copy !req
1255. When I catch you,
I'll kill you!Copy !req
1256. Come here!
Don't you run away from me!Copy !req
1257. What happened?Copy !req
1258. - Look what he did to my good coat!
- What?Copy !req
1259. Bea bought him
a chemistry set.Copy !req
1260. He made purple dye
and dyed it purple!Copy !req
1261. That's the coat
I gave you for our anniversary?Copy !req
1262. - You don't hit him! I'll hit him!
- I can hit him!Copy !req
1263. You're too easy with him.
I'll hit him!Copy !req
1264. Abe? Have you seen
Mama's teeth?Copy !req
1265. She left 'em in a glass of water
and she can't find them.Copy !req
1266. The kids were playin'
hockey with 'em.Copy !req
1267. Playing hockey with Mama's teeth?Copy !req
1268. They're about the same size as a puck.Copy !req
1269. Oh, listen!
Listen, that's the conga!Copy !req
1270. My teacher said you could
meet very interesting men in a conga line.Copy !req
1271. Come on, Ruthie!
Come on, Ceil!Copy !req
1272. I can do this!Copy !req
1273. One, two, three, conga!
One, two, three, conga!Copy !req
1274. Come here!Copy !req
1275. You're making it worse on yourself!
Come here!Copy !req
1276. You can meet men
doing this?Copy !req
1277. That's what she said.Copy !req
1278. You're gonna
pay for it this time!Copy !req
1279. We interrupt
this program with a special bulletin.Copy !req
1280. Emergency workers outside
Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania,Copy !req
1281. are working to remove
an 8-year-old girlCopy !req
1282. who has fallen down a well.Copy !req
1283. Polly Phelps fell down
the well while playing with friends,Copy !req
1284. and has been
lodged at the bottom since twelve noon.Copy !req
1285. Reports will be coming
to you live on the spotCopy !req
1286. where this tense drama
is unfolding.Copy !req
1287. We don't know
if the girl is still living,Copy !req
1288. although authorities
are predictingCopy !req
1289. they will rescue the child
within moments.Copy !req
1290. It's been seven hours,
and still workers have not been ableCopy !req
1291. to contact or free
8-year-old Polly Phelps.Copy !req
1292. Can you hear me? Polly?Copy !req
1293. Can you hear anything?Copy !req
1294. Meanwhile, members
of the press are here in abundance.Copy !req
1295. This field is illuminated
by the eerie incandescenceCopy !req
1296. of searchlights and flashbulbs.Copy !req
1297. The anxious parents,
Mr. and Mrs. Phelps, stand by waiting,Copy !req
1298. hoping for some word, some sign.Copy !req
1299. We'll continue to broadcast live
from the scene of the accidentCopy !req
1300. and bring you details
as they unfold.Copy !req
1301. I'm sure all Americans
listening to their radios everywhereCopy !req
1302. are praying for Polly Phelps
and the Phelps family.Copy !req
1303. Please, God,
don't let her die!Copy !req
1304. Oh, God...Copy !req
1305. The fire
department and local emergency squadsCopy !req
1306. have been on the job
for many hours.Copy !req
1307. The difficulty seems
to be that the well is quite narrow,Copy !req
1308. and the surrounding...Copy !req
1309. No, wait. Wait...Copy !req
1310. It looks like he has something.
He's tugging the rope.Copy !req
1311. They're raising the rope
very, very slowly.Copy !req
1312. They seem to be
close to a rescue.Copy !req
1313. Police have her. Stand by.Copy !req
1314. We're coming to you live.Copy !req
1315. Don? Don, is... Don?Copy !req
1316. Oh, God, this is terrible,
ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
1317. The child is not alive.Copy !req
1318. Polly Phelps is dead.Copy !req
1319. After all the efforts and prayers,
the little girl is dead.Copy !req
1320. This is tragic. Just tragic.Copy !req
1321. We are going
to end our broadcast, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
1322. I know that all America
shares the grief of the Phelps family.Copy !req
1323. This has been a sudden,
unexpected human tragedy.Copy !req
1324. Good evening, and happy New Year.Copy !req
1325. We're broadcasting live
from the King Cole Room,Copy !req
1326. where everyone is here
to welcome in 1944.Copy !req
1327. I used to work in this place.Copy !req
1328. Now I'm here with,
of all people, the Masked Avenger!Copy !req
1329. Beware, evildoers,
wherever you are!Copy !req
1330. Now where are they?
Do you see them?Copy !req
1331. They're there.
Hello, everybody!Copy !req
1332. Listen to that. Doesn't it
sound wonderful at that nightclub?Copy !req
1333. Yeah. Why aren't
we there, Abe?Copy !req
1334. 'Cause we're here.Copy !req
1335. Don't you wanna hit the hot spots and
drink champagne from my slipper?Copy !req
1336. I can't take that much liquid.Copy !req
1337. Besides, only creeps and crazy people
go out on New Year's Eve.Copy !req
1338. Then you should definitely go out.Copy !req
1339. There are those who drink
champagne at clubs,Copy !req
1340. and us, who listen
to them drink champagne.Copy !req
1341. I heard Breakfast With Irene
and Roger this morning.Copy !req
1342. They said they were going
to the King Cole Room tonight.Copy !req
1343. And they said all their
friends would be there.Copy !req
1344. Roger and Irene are rich and famous.
They have a radio show.Copy !req
1345. They wear fancy clothes,
they hobnob with their celebrity friends,Copy !req
1346. they go to all the nightclubs.Copy !req
1347. What, you think
they're happier than us?Copy !req
1348. How long do I have
to answer that?Copy !req
1349. You'd be so nice to come home toCopy !req
1350. You'd be so nice by the fireCopy !req
1351. While the breeze on highCopy !req
1352. Sings a lullabyCopy !req
1353. You'd be all that ICopy !req
1354. Could desireCopy !req
1355. Under starsCopy !req
1356. Chilled by the winterCopy !req
1357. Under an August moonCopy !req
1358. Burning aboveCopy !req
1359. You'd be so niceCopy !req
1360. You'd be paradiseCopy !req
1361. To come home toCopy !req
1362. And loveCopy !req
1363. What, no date tonight?Copy !req
1364. Well, it's okay.
We're all together.Copy !req
1365. Under starsCopy !req
1366. Chilled by the winterCopy !req
1367. Under an August moonCopy !req
1368. Burning aboveCopy !req
1369. You'd be so niceCopy !req
1370. You'd be paradiseCopy !req
1371. To come home toCopy !req
1372. And loveCopy !req
1373. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
1374. To a wonderful year.Copy !req
1375. Lucky Strike, please.Copy !req
1376. Thank you.
Keep the change.Copy !req
1377. You know, it's not even
midnight and I'm drunk.Copy !req
1378. Anyone ever seen
the roof of this place?Copy !req
1379. It has the most
marvelous view of the city.Copy !req
1380. How do you know the roof?Copy !req
1381. I went up once
when I worked here.Copy !req
1382. The circumstances
were quite different.Copy !req
1383. Why don't we go
up there and see it?Copy !req
1384. Would you like to?
Come with me.Copy !req
1385. Come on. What fun!Copy !req
1386. Oh, it's freezing up here.Copy !req
1387. It's just amazing.
Amazing, but it's freezing up here!Copy !req
1388. What a crazy idea!Copy !req
1389. What were you doing
up here anyway?Copy !req
1390. Oh, it's a long story.Copy !req
1391. Oh, look at the sky.
It's gotten so overcast.Copy !req
1392. And all the lights.
What a city this is!Copy !req
1393. Another year is passing.Copy !req
1394. I hope 1944 turns out well.Copy !req
1395. They pass so quickly.
Where do they all go?Copy !req
1396. So quickly.
And then we get old.Copy !req
1397. And we never knew
what any of it was about.Copy !req
1398. That's right.Copy !req
1399. I wonder if future generations
will ever even hear about us.Copy !req
1400. It's not likely.Copy !req
1401. After enough time,
everything passes.Copy !req
1402. I don't care how big we are,Copy !req
1403. or how important in their lives.Copy !req
1404. Six, five, four,Copy !req
1405. three, two, one!Copy !req
1406. Happy New Year!Copy !req
1407. Martin, I'm a little scared
for the future.Copy !req
1408. What are you scared about?
Don't worry so much, okay?Copy !req
1409. - Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year, Bea.Copy !req
1410. - Happy New Year, everybody.
- Happy New Year.Copy !req
1411. What is he doin' up?Copy !req
1412. I woke him
so he wouldn't forget 1944.Copy !req
1413. Happy New Year!Copy !req
1414. God, I wish this war was over!Copy !req
1415. There are no single men around!Copy !req
1416. Happy New Year!Copy !req
1417. Happy New Year.Copy !req
1418. This year you'll find
your true love.Copy !req
1419. I have a feeling in my bones.Copy !req
1420. Yes, you will.Copy !req
1421. Oh, you know what
we should start the New Year with?Copy !req
1422. A little red snapper!Copy !req
1423. Hey, happy New Year, everybody.Copy !req
1424. Happy New Year, Martin.Copy !req
1425. Happy New Year, Tess.Copy !req
1426. Hey, Pop, happy New Year.Copy !req
1427. Hey, it's startin' to snow.
Let's go downstairs.Copy !req
1428. Beware, evildoers,
wherever you are!Copy !req
1429. I never forgot
that New Year's Eve,Copy !req
1430. when Aunt Bea awakened me
to watch 1944 come in.Copy !req
1431. And I've never forgotten
any of those people,Copy !req
1432. or any of the voices
we used to hear on the radio.Copy !req
1433. Although the truth is,
with the passing of each New Year's Eve,Copy !req
1434. those voices do seem
to grow dimmer and dimmer.Copy !req
1435. Have you ever danced
in the tropics?Copy !req
1436. In that hazy, lazy, like
kind of crazy, likeCopy !req
1437. South American wayCopy !req
1438. Have you ever kissed
in the moonlight?Copy !req
1439. In the grand and glorious
gay, notorious South American wayCopy !req
1440. In South American wayCopy !req