1. Wow. Some party.Copy !req
2. It wasn't that wild.Copy !req
3. Nobody touched
the pinata.Copy !req
4. I'm not a pinata.Copy !req
5. Hey! That is not
a toilet.Copy !req
6. It is now.Copy !req
7. Who are you?Copy !req
8. Genital Warthog.Copy !req
9. Ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
10. Ow! Oh, that hurt.Copy !req
11. Gay pandas?Copy !req
12. All pandas gay.Copy !req
13. That's why we don't
mate in captivity.Copy !req
14. It also explains
the eye shadow.Copy !req
15. Tell us about
your illness, Rex.Copy !req
16. I... was...
a homosexual.Copy !req
17. A ho... mo... sexual.Copy !req
18. But reverend,
you cured me.Copy !req
19. I've been straight
for 6 months.Copy !req
20. No, he hasn't.
He was here last night.Copy !req
21. These are his pants.Copy !req
22. You see, friends.Copy !req
23. Jesus can cure every disease.Copy !req
24. From homosexuality
to Buddhism.Copy !req
25. Reverend Van Der Gelding,Copy !req
26. I wonder if you
could help me.Copy !req
27. I have a terrible disorder.Copy !req
28. It's called
Tourette's syndrome—Copy !req
29. Homophobe!Copy !req
30. It makes me say the most
terrible things.Copy !req
31. Jerk! Jerk! Nazi!Copy !req
32. Um, yes, I'm familiar
with it.Copy !req
33. Please say
you'll cure me. Fraud!Copy !req
34. I don't mean to say,
fraud! Bigot!Copy !req
35. These awful words.
Bad toupee!Copy !req
36. Brother, I would love
to pray with you,Copy !req
37. but we have so many
callers on the line.Copy !req
38. Please dig deep
and send what you can.Copy !req
39. Thank you for all
the good work you're doing.Copy !req
40. Jackass!Copy !req
41. You're a wonderful man.
Jackass!Copy !req
42. God bless you.
Creep! Creep! Motherf—Copy !req
43. Do we have another caller?Copy !req
44. I was very shockedCopy !req
45. by that last person.Copy !req
46. He's a sick, sick man.Copy !req
47. I don't think
that's any excuseCopy !req
48. for potty mouth.Copy !req
49. But still, he makes
a lot of sense.Copy !req
50. You are a hypocritical,
gay bashing moron!Copy !req
51. Girls, don't you just
love the phone?Copy !req
52. Come on down to Happyland.Copy !req
53. Adults get in
for kids' prices.Copy !req
54. Kids get in
for adult prices.Copy !req
55. And seniors
don't get in at all.Copy !req
56. That's what makes it happy!Copy !req
57. Oh, my gay god,
look at this mess!Copy !req
58. Busted tables,
overturned Chers.Copy !req
59. This place
is a wreck.Copy !req
60. Queer Duck,
what are we gonna do?Copy !req
61. I'm going to Happyland.Copy !req
62. Oh, crap.Copy !req
63. Oh, I'm gonna call
the whole gang.Copy !req
64. Let's make this
Gay Day at Happyland.Copy !req
65. Can't we go
to Disneyland?Copy !req
66. They love gay people.Copy !req
67. Where's the fun in that?Copy !req
68. Would you like to tryCopy !req
69. "Recovery"
by Elizabeth Taylor?Copy !req
70. It'll make you smell
like a 75-year-old woman.Copy !req
71. It's made from rose oil
and wet newspapers.Copy !req
72. Say, Chet, did I make
the store softball league?Copy !req
73. You?Copy !req
74. Oh, that's a good one.Copy !req
75. Jackass.Copy !req
76. Pick me! Pick me!Copy !req
77. I'll take...
Little Stevie Wonder.Copy !req
78. Yeah!Copy !req
79. I'll take...
Little Steven Hawking.Copy !req
80. Play ball.Copy !req
81. Bi-Polar Bear.
It's Gay Day in Happyland.Copy !req
82. Oh, goody. Ow!Copy !req
83. Hey, watch it there,
Zsa Zsa.Copy !req
84. Your fur would make
a lovely coat.Copy !req
85. Your neck would make
a terrific boat cover.Copy !req
86. Here at Shirley You Jest,Copy !req
87. we have the world's
largest collectionCopy !req
88. of Shirley Temple
memorabilia.Copy !req
89. Dolls, lunchboxes,
coffee mugs.Copy !req
90. We even have
Shirley herself.Copy !req
91. Mister, I can't
breathe in here.Copy !req
92. Honest, I can't.Copy !req
93. Quiet, you.Copy !req
94. Oscar Wildcat,
it's Gay Day in Happyland.Copy !req
95. Marvelous.Copy !req
96. You know, Happyland
really hates these Gay Days.Copy !req
97. It's not too late
to call it off.Copy !req
98. Queer Duck.Copy !req
99. Attention, you fairies.Copy !req
100. You queens and you marys.Copy !req
101. I'm here to declare this.Copy !req
102. It's Gay Day at Happyland.Copy !req
103. I'm picking something up
on gay-dar.Copy !req
104. Dear God,Copy !req
105. it's like a Bette Midler
concert out there.Copy !req
106. We're going
to code pink.Copy !req
107. Beat it, you homos.Copy !req
108. Queer Duck,
talk to me.Copy !req
109. Do you ever get sick
of being gay?Copy !req
110. No. But sometimes
my jaw gets sore.Copy !req
111. I mean the whole thing.
Society's against it.Copy !req
112. The church is against it.
My family's against it.Copy !req
113. It's fun.Copy !req
114. It gets old.Copy !req
115. Endless parties,
drugs, anonymous sex.Copy !req
116. Oh, that's a myth.Copy !req
117. Do you even know
who you're in bed with now?Copy !req
118. I don't know.
Daniel Day Lewis?Copy !req
119. I'm Rupert Everett.Copy !req
120. Who cares? You're gorgeous!Copy !req
121. I just think life
would be much easierCopy !req
122. if I were straight.Copy !req
123. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
124. Don't even
think like that.Copy !req
125. You can't change
who you are.Copy !req
126. Well, sometimes,
I wish I could.Copy !req
127. Don't you?Copy !req
128. No. I am a gay man.Copy !req
129. Like my father,Copy !req
130. and his father
before him.Copy !req
131. Now get some sleep.Copy !req
132. We've got work
in the morning.Copy !req
133. Welcome to
T.S. It's Monday.Copy !req
134. My name is Gator,
and I'll be your waiter.Copy !req
135. Oh, what do you know?
I'm a poet, too.Copy !req
136. Actually, I'm an actorCopy !req
137. just waiting for
my agent to callCopy !req
138. with my big break.Copy !req
139. Oh, my gay god.Copy !req
140. Hello? Hello, Artie?Copy !req
141. That wasn't your phone.
My chair squeaked.Copy !req
142. Well, thank you,
Captain Buzzkills.Copy !req
143. So what kind of
fried crapCopy !req
144. do you want to shove
in that enormous head of yours?Copy !req
145. Sweet Christ
with a handbag!Copy !req
146. You're Conan O'Brien!Copy !req
147. I just love your show!Copy !req
148. When I can't sleep,
it puts me right out.Copy !req
149. Well, thanks.Copy !req
150. Now, admit it.
You're gay, aren't you?Copy !req
151. No. I'm married.Copy !req
152. I have kids.Copy !req
153. Fine! Go ahead.
Live in denial.Copy !req
154. You're just like
my poor baby Queer Duck.Copy !req
155. Why can't we
be happy with who we are?Copy !req
156. Do we get bread?Copy !req
157. You're a lousy nurse.Copy !req
158. Sorry. My head's
not in it today.Copy !req
159. Well, you know...Copy !req
160. Hey!Copy !req
161. Way ahead of you.Copy !req
162. Welcome. Welcome, everyone
to the I.C.U.Copy !req
163. That's doctor talkCopy !req
164. for I see you still have
some money left.Copy !req
165. Can't thank you
enough.Copy !req
166. You really brighten
my day, miss...Copy !req
167. Call me Lola.Copy !req
168. You're Lola Buzzard?Copy !req
169. Buh-zard, darling.
Buh-zard.Copy !req
170. I just saw you on TV.Copy !req
171. It was Drugged Out
Divas Week on Biography.Copy !req
172. I got three nights.Copy !req
173. So, what brings you
to Shyster Excremente?Copy !req
174. Just having the old kisser
tightened up.Copy !req
175. Botox?Copy !req
176. Oh, darling.
I'm way beyond Botox.Copy !req
177. They have to slapCopy !req
178. a poison jellyfish
on my face.Copy !req
179. Mmm, that one.Copy !req
180. He looks fat
and venomous.Copy !req
181. Ow! Sweet Jesus.
The agony.Copy !req
182. Son of a bitch!Copy !req
183. How do I look?
Like the Joker.Copy !req
184. That's what I was
going for.Copy !req
185. Try to make me frown.
You can't do it.Copy !req
186. Bush is running for
a third term.Copy !req
187. Oh, Christ.
The country's ruined.Copy !req
188. You're a funny
little duck.Copy !req
189. You must
spend the day with me.Copy !req
190. Peccary!Copy !req
191. This is Peccary.
He's my limo driver.Copy !req
192. He was also
husband number two.Copy !req
193. And five, madame.Copy !req
194. Ducky, we're gonna have
the most marvelous day.Copy !req
195. First, I want you
to see my home.Copy !req
196. Peccary, for God's sakes!
Slow down, man!Copy !req
197. We haven't even
left the curb, madame.Copy !req
198. Zip it.Copy !req
199. Oh, the pain.
The pain.Copy !req
200. I bought this place
in the 70s.Copy !req
201. After the Munsters
got divorced.Copy !req
202. You wouldn't believeCopy !req
203. the parties we used to
have here.Copy !req
204. And the guests.Copy !req
205. Frank Sinatra.
Junior.Copy !req
206. And Sammy Davis.Copy !req
207. Senior.Copy !req
208. Where'd you get those
corny, creepy plates?Copy !req
209. Disney dumpster.Copy !req
210. Lola, you're amazing.Copy !req
211. I can barely
keep up with you.Copy !req
212. Yes. Doctors tell meCopy !req
213. I have the heart
of an 18-year-old.Copy !req
214. The kid died in
a skateboard accident.Copy !req
215. It's a joke, darling.Copy !req
216. I have Bruce Vilanch
on retainer.Copy !req
217. Thanks, Lola.Copy !req
218. The Bruce signal.Copy !req
219. Whoopi must need a joke.Copy !req
220. To comedy and beyond!Copy !req
221. That's what it's all
about, Queer Duck.Copy !req
222. Laughter.Copy !req
223. Laughter and love
and Peccary!Copy !req
224. I know...Copy !req
225. slow down.Copy !req
226. Gator, we've been together
for 18 months.Copy !req
227. That's 6 centuries
in gay years.Copy !req
228. I know,
and life is great now.Copy !req
229. But what will it be likeCopy !req
230. when we're a couple
of old queens?Copy !req
231. Openly Gator.Copy !req
232. Where the hell
is my dinner?Copy !req
233. Oh, here.Copy !req
234. Why do we keep ordering
from that Thai place?Copy !req
235. Sounds wonderful.Copy !req
236. What? Were you watchingCopy !req
237. the same dream sequence
I was?Copy !req
238. Oh, we have an awful future
ahead of us.Copy !req
239. What are you saying?Copy !req
240. Have you met
someone else?Copy !req
241. No. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
242. Darling.
Well, kind of.Copy !req
243. And who's
your little friend here?Copy !req
244. I'm his
insignificant other.Copy !req
245. Ah-ha. I like you.Copy !req
246. You remind me of a purse
I used to have.Copy !req
247. I have an idea.Copy !req
248. Why don't we all
go see a show?Copy !req
249. All right, but you pick.Copy !req
250. Broadway seems to have gone
completely gay these days.Copy !req
251. Let's see...Copy !req
252. Guys and Dudes,Copy !req
253. the Queen and I,Copy !req
254. Oklahomo?Copy !req
255. My Fair Lady?Copy !req
256. Oh!Copy !req
257. My God, do you realize
its been 20 yearsCopy !req
258. since I set foot
on a Broadway stage?Copy !req
259. You should come back and do
a one woman show.Copy !req
260. Oh, please.Copy !req
261. Do you think gay men
would pay to hearCopy !req
262. and old diva gossipCopy !req
263. about her booze
and sex problems?Copy !req
264. They might.Copy !req
265. Ladies, gentlemen,Copy !req
266. and ladylike gentlemen,Copy !req
267. put your hands together
for the originalCopy !req
268. Buzzard with a Z.Copy !req
269. Miss Lola Buh-zard.Copy !req
270. Huh? What?Copy !req
271. How did all you queens
get in my closet?Copy !req
272. Ha ha! I'm just kidding.Copy !req
273. Are you OK?Copy !req
274. Hi. It's Joan Rivers.Copy !req
275. I'm here at
the Tony Awards.Copy !req
276. And I'm talking
to Bjork.Copy !req
277. Bjork, welcome
to our planet.Copy !req
278. Who are you
wearing tonight?Copy !req
279. I'm wearing Coco Chanel.Copy !req
280. Literally.Copy !req
281. This is her corpse.Copy !req
282. You're weird,
and you frighten me.Copy !req
283. A lot.Copy !req
284. Coming up next
down the red carpet,Copy !req
285. it's the Pet Shop Boys.Copy !req
286. Joan, who exactly are you
covering this for?Copy !req
287. Oh... somebody.Copy !req
288. Wait a minute, that's not
even a microphone.Copy !req
289. You're holding
an ice cream cone.Copy !req
290. Quiet.Copy !req
291. You guys want to
make me look bad?Copy !req
292. No. That's your
plastic surgeon's job.Copy !req
293. He seems to be
turning you intoCopy !req
294. a small Chinese man.Copy !req
295. Why, you little...Copy !req
296. That can't be good.Copy !req
297. I can't believe
we're at the Tonys.Copy !req
298. It's like
the gay Olympics.Copy !req
299. Well, I wanted to do
something nice for you guys.Copy !req
300. I hardly see you anymore.Copy !req
301. Wow. It's
Rosie O'Donnell.Copy !req
302. Look at the size
of that head.Copy !req
303. She looks like
a candy apple on a stick.Copy !req
304. Yes. A fat stick.Copy !req
305. The woman could play
herself at Disneyland.Copy !req
306. And the nominees for best
one woman showCopy !req
307. category hag.Copy !req
308. Elaine Stritch
in "I'm Not Bea Arthur."Copy !req
309. Bea Arthur
in "I'm Not a Bear."Copy !req
310. Lola Buzzard
in "Still Not Dead."Copy !req
311. And Gwen Verdon
in "Still Dead."Copy !req
312. And the award goes to...Copy !req
313. Lola Buzzard!Copy !req
314. You know, it's an honor
just to be nominated.Copy !req
315. But it's a bitch to lose.Copy !req
316. This one's on me,
sweetie.Copy !req
317. Mazel tov.Copy !req
318. Oh, I promised myself
I wouldn't fake crying.Copy !req
319. But here I go.Copy !req
320. I want to dedicate
this awardCopy !req
321. to the one man
who got me here.Copy !req
322. Queer Duck.Copy !req
323. I love you, baby.Copy !req
324. You make my life
worth living.Copy !req
325. Sorry.Copy !req
326. Oh, we're quite a team.Copy !req
327. We think alike,
we make each other laugh.Copy !req
328. We finish each other's—Copy !req
329. pudding.Copy !req
330. Exactly.
So what do you say?Copy !req
331. You want to get married?Copy !req
332. What? Lola.Copy !req
333. You know I'm gay.Copy !req
334. I don't care.
Lots of my husbands were gay.Copy !req
335. And if you're ever
interested in switching sides,Copy !req
336. I know someone
who can help.Copy !req
337. Hmm.Copy !req
338. Lola, if I ever
married a woman,Copy !req
339. you know
it would be you.Copy !req
340. Oh, let me think
about it.Copy !req
341. Of course.Copy !req
342. Watch it.Copy !req
343. Well, that's-a
just-a rude.Copy !req
344. You've hardly touched
your fifth drink.Copy !req
345. What's wrong?Copy !req
346. Lola proposed to me.Copy !req
347. Congratulations,
dear boy.Copy !req
348. But she's a woman.Copy !req
349. Oh, these things happen.Copy !req
350. Let me tell you a story.Copy !req
351. The year was 1964,Copy !req
352. and gay bars like this
didn't exist.Copy !req
353. But we still
found places to meet.Copy !req
354. I'd never seen so many
gay people in one place.Copy !req
355. From sophisticates
like Truman Coyote...Copy !req
356. Greetings, Oscar.Copy !req
357. To lowlifes
like Fruity Fly.Copy !req
358. What's the buzz, cuz?Copy !req
359. Sorry.Copy !req
360. And just when I was
feeling confidentCopy !req
361. in who I was, I saw...Copy !req
362. Regina.Copy !req
363. No woman before
or sinceCopy !req
364. had ever had
this effect on me.Copy !req
365. After her performance,Copy !req
366. I had to speak to her.Copy !req
367. We laughed, we danced.Copy !req
368. And just as I was
about to kiss her...Copy !req
369. Raid!Copy !req
370. If things had gone
differently that night,Copy !req
371. I might not be
a lonely old man.Copy !req
372. Maybe Lola is your one chance
at a better life.Copy !req
373. Wow. So you never
saw Regina again.Copy !req
374. No. But I still
keep her earringCopy !req
375. right next to my heart.Copy !req
376. Huh, I wouldn't
have pegged youCopy !req
377. as the pierced
nipple type.Copy !req
378. You live and you learn.Copy !req
379. Queer Duck,
what are you doing here?Copy !req
380. You know this food
is garbage.Copy !req
381. It's fine.Copy !req
382. Gator, I have to
talk to you.Copy !req
383. Lola asked me
to marry her.Copy !req
384. Oh, well...
good for her.Copy !req
385. Good for both of you.Copy !req
386. You think so?Copy !req
387. This is just
what you wanted.Copy !req
388. A nice, normal life.Copy !req
389. You really mean that?Copy !req
390. Queer Duck, I love you.Copy !req
391. And that means I want
whatever makes you happy.Copy !req
392. Oh, thank you, Gator.Copy !req
393. So I said to
Weird Al Yankovic, Weird—Copy !req
394. That's what his friends
call him, weird.Copy !req
395. I said...Copy !req
396. Can I take your order?Copy !req
397. God, it's you again.Copy !req
398. Yes. And I just lost
the love of my life.Copy !req
399. So I could use a little
human decency, please!Copy !req
400. Gee, I'm sorry.Copy !req
401. I guess I'd like to start
with the soup.Copy !req
402. Oh, you.Copy !req
403. Everything's got to be
about you.Copy !req
404. I can't listen
to this crap!Copy !req
405. I don't know why
I come here.Copy !req
406. Mom, Dad, I have
an announcement to make.Copy !req
407. Oh, my God. He's gay.Copy !req
408. Estelle,
you know he's gay.Copy !req
409. Well, then he's found
something worse than gayCopy !req
410. just to punish me.Copy !req
411. No, no. I'm getting married.Copy !req
412. You are?Copy !req
413. Wait a minute.
Hold the phone.Copy !req
414. This person
you're marrying,Copy !req
415. it's a woman?Copy !req
416. Of course.Copy !req
417. So, Melissa,Copy !req
418. now that your brother's
getting married,Copy !req
419. maybe you'll find
yourself a man.Copy !req
420. Dad, I'm very happy
with Beavette.Copy !req
421. Oh, Martin.
She's just experimenting.Copy !req
422. Louis Pasteur didn't do
that much experimenting.Copy !req
423. What was that?Copy !req
424. I said, what's
your girlfriendCopy !req
425. doing to the carpet?Copy !req
426. Not here.Copy !req
427. So son, does this meanCopy !req
428. you're not gay anymore?Copy !req
429. Well, I am, but,Copy !req
430. I'm seeing
an expert tomorrow,Copy !req
431. and he might be able
to turn me straight.Copy !req
432. Really?Copy !req
433. Oh! You make me
so happy.Copy !req
434. Grandma? I thought
you were dead.Copy !req
435. To you, I was.Copy !req
436. Can I help you, brother?Copy !req
437. Reverend Van Der Gelding.Copy !req
438. You've seen my show.Copy !req
439. I call in all the time.Copy !req
440. So when did you
first experienceCopy !req
441. homosexual feelings?Copy !req
442. Well, let's see, hmm.Copy !req
443. It was 1967,Copy !req
444. my parents had just
gone to seeCopy !req
445. Kansas City Bomber.Copy !req
446. That Raquel Welch
is some groovy chick.Copy !req
447. But you're groovier.Copy !req
448. My, you have such
a powerful tail.Copy !req
449. Well, I swim a lot.Copy !req
450. You are so interesting.Copy !req
451. What do you say
we ditch this crowdCopy !req
452. and get a drink?Copy !req
453. No. I really should
go fertilize that egg.Copy !req
454. Oh, her.Copy !req
455. Look, Morty, it's the son
you always wanted.Copy !req
456. I'm gay!Copy !req
457. What did he say?Copy !req
458. Oh. He said, nice day.Copy !req
459. That is quite young.Copy !req
460. Did you ever tell
your parents about this?Copy !req
461. Not at first.
My father was distantCopy !req
462. and hard to talk to.Copy !req
463. Dad, sometimes I think
I'm not like other ducks.Copy !req
464. I don't like sports.Copy !req
465. I prefer art and music.Copy !req
466. Martin, will you put downCopy !req
467. the focacta trumpet
and talk to him already?Copy !req
468. So how did you finally
tell them that you were gay?Copy !req
469. Oh, well, that's
an interesting story.Copy !req
470. It all goes back to
those crazy, turbulentCopy !req
471. fabulous seventies.Copy !req
472. Wait a minute.Copy !req
473. Is this gonna be
a musical number?Copy !req
474. I mean, what is it
with you peopleCopy !req
475. and musical numbers?Copy !req
476. Just sit back
and enjoy it.Copy !req
477. No adlibbing.Copy !req
478. Sorry.Copy !req
479. I'm not
repeating that part.Copy !req
480. You're Jewish?Copy !req
481. I had my beak fixed.Copy !req
482. I'm gay!Copy !req
483. I'm not that gay!Copy !req
484. Are you ready
to find out?Copy !req
485. It's a simple procedureCopy !req
486. I have developed
to turn you straight.Copy !req
487. Are you... comfortable?Copy !req
488. No.Copy !req
489. Then let's begin.Copy !req
490. I smell chicken.Copy !req
491. Oh, boy.Copy !req
492. So, Queer Duck.Copy !req
493. Do you still
feel queer?Copy !req
494. As a high school
drama teacher.Copy !req
495. What?Copy !req
496. I love that movie.Copy !req
497. It was like a less gay
Clockwork Orange.Copy !req
498. It gave me tingles.Copy !req
499. That treatment
never fails.Copy !req
500. You are the gayest thing
I have ever seen.Copy !req
501. And I've been
to England!Copy !req
502. Well, I guess that's it.Copy !req
503. I can't be changed.
Thanks anywho.Copy !req
504. It's been a pleasure.
Yours, of course.Copy !req
505. Out! Out! Be gone!Copy !req
506. You don't have that movie
on DVD, do you?Copy !req
507. I'll try Blockbuster.Copy !req
508. Wine, madame?Copy !req
509. No, thanks.Copy !req
510. On second thought...Copy !req
511. Lola, I went to that
reverend you recommended,Copy !req
512. but it didn't work.Copy !req
513. You disappointed?
Only if you are.Copy !req
514. Queer Duck, I don't care
if you're gayCopy !req
515. or straight
or bi or tri.Copy !req
516. I just want you
to be happy.Copy !req
517. Do you think you could
still love someone like me?Copy !req
518. Well, sure.Copy !req
519. I mean, you do
have a mustache.Copy !req
520. Yeah, but I still
need a beard.Copy !req
521. You still want to
get married?Copy !req
522. The sooner the better.Copy !req
523. Oh, you must be
Queer Duck's parents.Copy !req
524. You have
a wonderful son.Copy !req
525. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
526. Well, your little boy
is very cute, too.Copy !req
527. Hee hee.
This isn't my son.Copy !req
528. He's my very, very,
very special friend.Copy !req
529. So. Have you ever
reared children?Copy !req
530. I have never
been convicted.Copy !req
531. What is that
horrible stench?Copy !req
532. It's worse than
the monkey diapers.Copy !req
533. It smells like, "Recovery"Copy !req
534. by Elizabeth Taylor.Copy !req
535. Hello, doggy.Copy !req
536. Who's getting married today?Copy !req
537. Is it me?Copy !req
538. Yeah. It's you, Liz.Copy !req
539. And who am I marrying
this time?Copy !req
540. You?Copy !req
541. Sure. Why not?Copy !req
542. Hello, Rosie.
I just want to thank youCopy !req
543. for coming out
as a lesbian.Copy !req
544. And confirming
every negativeCopy !req
545. stereotype about us.Copy !req
546. Listen, Xena,
you do not wantCopy !req
547. to get between me
and the wedding cake.Copy !req
548. I think they'd notice
if a piece was missing.Copy !req
549. You're right. I better
eat the whole thing.Copy !req
550. The trick is to
unhinge your jawCopy !req
551. like a python.Copy !req
552. Ooh, doesn't that hurt?Copy !req
553. Oh, yeah. It hurts
like a bitch.Copy !req
554. I was sent to help you
with your hair,Copy !req
555. and not a moment too soon.Copy !req
556. Ooh!Copy !req
557. How do you wear it?Copy !req
558. I don't know. Feathered?Copy !req
559. Well, let's get busy.Copy !req
560. Wait a minute.
That's not... final net.Copy !req
561. Hmph. I could do that.Copy !req
562. I just wish
openly Gator was here.Copy !req
563. He said
he couldn't bear it.Copy !req
564. To be so miserableCopy !req
565. on the happiest day
of Queer Duck's life.Copy !req
566. Hi, it's Gator.Copy !req
567. I hate to bother you, but I
didn't know who else to call.Copy !req
568. Look, I can't do this.Copy !req
569. I'm in
the middle of a show!Copy !req
570. Here's a Wonderbra
for a mother pig.Copy !req
571. Oink oink!
Me so horny!Copy !req
572. you suck!Copy !req
573. All right.
Let's talk.Copy !req
574. The love of my life is
about to marry someone else,Copy !req
575. and I can't handle it.Copy !req
576. Well, when Andy Richter
first left my show,Copy !req
577. I wasn't sure
I could go it alone.Copy !req
578. This isn't about you!Copy !req
579. I've gotta stop
that wedding.Copy !req
580. I'm coming, Queer Duck,Copy !req
581. and nothing's
gonna stop me!Copy !req
582. Where am I?Copy !req
583. Someplace your little
gay friends won't find you.Copy !req
584. I've turned hundreds
of people straight.Copy !req
585. I've even turned
Anne Heche straight!Copy !req
586. You can have her.
We don't want her.Copy !req
587. You were
my one failure,Copy !req
588. but I refuse to give up.Copy !req
589. This calls
for stronger medicine.Copy !req
590. Well, if you're mixing drinks,Copy !req
591. I'd like a slow,
comfortable screwCopy !req
592. up against
the wall of a bus stationCopy !req
593. in Passaic, New Jersey.
It's just rum.Copy !req
594. I have something
a little strongerCopy !req
595. in mind for you.Copy !req
596. A can of Bud,
some stallion's blood,Copy !req
597. cologne from
an Italian stud,Copy !req
598. fibers from
Hugh Hefner's robe,Copy !req
599. photo of a homophobe,Copy !req
600. add Burt Reynolds'
old toupee,Copy !req
601. and soon this duck
will not be gay!Copy !req
602. No, no, stop!Copy !req
603. It tastes like Snapple!Copy !req
604. Oh, God, I wish
I had my gag reflex back.Copy !req
605. Turn straight!Copy !req
606. I command you!Copy !req
607. Hey, dude, que pasa?Copy !req
608. Could it be?
Is he really straight?Copy !req
609. What do you think
of Cameron Diaz?Copy !req
610. She's hot.
Camryn Manheim?Copy !req
611. She's hot.
Sister Wendy?Copy !req
612. I'd do her.Copy !req
613. Success!Copy !req
614. So I told him,
"you're still my little boy,Copy !req
615. and I love you despite
your perversions."Copy !req
616. Oh, I wish my parents
had said that.Copy !req
617. It's hard growing up
in America as a black man.Copy !req
618. You're black?Copy !req
619. You're a man?Copy !req
620. Oh. We thought
you were Sheena Easton.Copy !req
621. Queer Duck!Copy !req
622. Queer Duck!Copy !req
623. He's not here yet.Copy !req
624. Thanks. I'll wait.Copy !req
625. Queer Duck!Copy !req
626. Queer Duck!Copy !req
627. Oh, thank God,
I'm not too late!Copy !req
628. I had to see you!Copy !req
629. Beat it, ya homo.Copy !req
630. Do you, Adam Seymour Duckstein,Copy !req
631. take this gentile—Copy !req
632. I do.Copy !req
633. And do you, Lola Buzzard,
take this duck,Copy !req
634. who they told me
was a faygeleh,Copy !req
635. but, frankly,
I don't see it—Copy !req
636. She does.Copy !req
637. Now let's
start that honeymoon!Copy !req
638. You the man!Copy !req
639. Crap.Copy !req
640. Oh, yeah!
Slap it! Slap it!Copy !req
641. That's it!
Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
642. Smack those feathers!
Yeah, pluck me!Copy !req
643. Pluck me! Pluck me!Copy !req
644. Now! Yeah!
Lick it! Slap it!Copy !req
645. Slap it!
That's it! Yeah!Copy !req
646. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
647. Oh! Oh, that's it!Copy !req
648. Let's eat!Copy !req
649. Queer Duck, I don't know
what came over you.Copy !req
650. That was the greatest night
of my life!Copy !req
651. Gah! Awk!Copy !req
652. I'm sorry, Queer Duck.Copy !req
653. She's dead.Copy !req
654. How can that be?Copy !req
655. She was only...Copy !req
656. 78.Copy !req
657. 78?Copy !req
658. Lola was remarkably
well-preserved.Copy !req
659. We found quite a bit of
formaldehyde in her bloodstream.Copy !req
660. Also Prozac, Xanax, Ex-Lax,Copy !req
661. Botox, Clorox...Copy !req
662. Pretty much
everything but blood.Copy !req
663. I'm afraid
that last multiple orgasmCopy !req
664. must have pushed her
over the edge.Copy !req
665. You see
what you've done?Copy !req
666. Oh, sorry, boss.Copy !req
667. The gay community
shares your pain.Copy !req
668. All across America,
fags are at half mast.Copy !req
669. Too soon?Copy !req
670. Whose funeral is this?Copy !req
671. Is it mine?Copy !req
672. Yeah,
it's yours, Liz.Copy !req
673. How sad.Copy !req
674. Oh, no. Don't cryCopy !req
675. you'll make yourself
black again.Copy !req
676. Look, it's
the late Roddy McDowall!Copy !req
677. What?
I'm a Rubens woman!Copy !req
678. Yeah, you look like you've
eaten a few reubens.Copy !req
679. Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
680. It is written
in the Hebrew Bible,Copy !req
681. in the book of
shecchuchhehchucch,Copy !req
682. that the cycle
of life continuesCopy !req
683. with its comings
and goings...Copy !req
684. in Lola's case,
after she came, she went.Copy !req
685. Thank you, rabbi.Copy !req
686. No change?Copy !req
687. Oh, all right.Copy !req
688. Do you think the doctor
could make me gay again?Copy !req
689. Do you think you could
stop staring at my tits?Copy !req
690. No! I can't!Copy !req
691. I'm sorry,
Mr. Duckstein.Copy !req
692. If a man is straight,
no one can make him gay.Copy !req
693. My mother did.Copy !req
694. Seen enough?Copy !req
695. Not yet...Copy !req
696. not yet...Copy !req
697. not...Copy !req
698. yet...Copy !req
699. OK, now.Copy !req
700. "I, Lola Buzzard,
bequeath to Queer DuckCopy !req
701. "all my worldly goods,Copy !req
702. "including the house...Copy !req
703. "The house...Copy !req
704. The house."Copy !req
705. "The Houston
Astrodome."Copy !req
706. What?Copy !req
707. "The Rolls-Royce...
factory.Copy !req
708. And my cash holdings,
totaling $10,000."Copy !req
709. I'm sorry.
That's "$1 million."Copy !req
710. Oh! My bad.Copy !req
711. That's "$1 billion."Copy !req
712. I had no idea.Copy !req
713. Madam had it all—Copy !req
714. Stocks, land, gold,
emeralds, rubies!Copy !req
715. You're a
very wealthy man.Copy !req
716. Big deal.Copy !req
717. It's wilder
than Girls Gone Wild.Copy !req
718. It's Girls Gone Batshit!Copy !req
719. See girls
rip off their tops!Copy !req
720. See naked girls
rip off their skin!Copy !req
721. Girls Gone Batshit!Copy !req
722. A production of Fox News!Copy !req
723. Sir, I owe you an apology.Copy !req
724. I always presumed you were
after madam's money.Copy !req
725. I know now I was wrong.Copy !req
726. I really loved her.Copy !req
727. As did I.Copy !req
728. Now I've lost my Lola,
I've lost my friends,Copy !req
729. I've lost
my whole identity.Copy !req
730. Do you know how it feels
to be heterosexual?Copy !req
731. Figure skating is boring.Copy !req
732. Rent has no hummable songs.Copy !req
733. Margaret Cho
isn't funny.Copy !req
734. I guess we all knew that.Copy !req
735. Oh, Peccary,
what am I going to do?Copy !req
736. I have
procured for youCopy !req
737. the one sure cure
for heterosexuality.Copy !req
738. Hello, gorgeous.Copy !req
739. Barbra?Copy !req
740. Barbra,
can you help me?Copy !req
741. Of course.Copy !req
742. I've turned thousands
of men gay.Copy !req
743. My son Jason is gay,Copy !req
744. and I've been working
on James Brolin.Copy !req
745. Uh, what did
you say, honey?Copy !req
746. I said wait
in the car!Copy !req
747. You see, Queer Duck,Copy !req
748. no matter
what society tells you,Copy !req
749. or what drugs
they pump you full of,Copy !req
750. they can't change
what's in here.Copy !req
751. how do you feel?Copy !req
752. I don't feel
any different.Copy !req
753. I'm still the same duck,
in the same bed,Copy !req
754. with the same
godawful bedspreadCopy !req
755. that looks
like Laura AshleyCopy !req
756. threw up all over it...Copy !req
757. Oh, my God!Copy !req
758. I'm gay again, aren't I?Copy !req
759. I'm gay again!Copy !req
760. I'm as queer as a goose!Copy !req
761. I'm as gay
as a $3.00 bill!Copy !req
762. I am the king of queens!Copy !req
763. You there, boy,
what day is it?Copy !req
764. Today, sir?
Why it's October 11th—Copy !req
765. National Coming Out Day.Copy !req
766. Wonderful boy,
remarkable boy!Copy !req
767. Here's $50.Copy !req
768. I need you to go
to the gay sex shopCopy !req
769. and buy me that giant
dildo in the window.Copy !req
770. The one as big as me?Copy !req
771. That's the one!Copy !req
772. Blimey!Copy !req
773. Oh, Barbra, I can't
thank you enough.Copy !req
774. Anything you want
in this world,Copy !req
775. anything at all—
it's yours.Copy !req
776. Well, I've always to
make a sequel to Nuts.Copy !req
777. Eh... we'll talk.Copy !req
778. Now come, Peccary!Copy !req
779. We have things to do.Copy !req
780. Take me to Homo No Mo'.Copy !req
781. It's in SoHo.
Yes, sir.Copy !req
782. And, Peccary?
Drive as fast as you want!Copy !req
783. Yes, sir!Copy !req
784. Yoo-hoo!
Rectal Roberts!Copy !req
785. Look who's gay again!Copy !req
786. No! It can't be!Copy !req
787. Haw haw!Copy !req
788. You be quiet, boy!Copy !req
789. Queer Duck,
I will not be defeated!Copy !req
790. I'll keep kidnapping you
and drugging youCopy !req
791. till I get it right!Copy !req
792. Sounds
like a confession to me.Copy !req
793. Take him away, boys.Copy !req
794. Doh! Fine.
Put me in prison.Copy !req
795. Just get me away
from all this gay sex!Copy !req
796. Uh... yeah.Copy !req
797. Well, sir,
you have your life back.Copy !req
798. What are you
going to do now?Copy !req
799. Well, let's see.Copy !req
800. I could do
volunteer work—Copy !req
801. help the homeless,
read to the blind.Copy !req
802. Or...Copy !req
803. I could cheat
with a cheetah.Copy !req
804. I could boff every buffalo.Copy !req
805. I could masturbate a Gator.Copy !req
806. A Gator?Copy !req
807. Openly Gator!Copy !req
808. I'm back!Copy !req
809. Queer Duck.Copy !req
810. I knew
you'd be back.Copy !req
811. Hello,
my darling Gator!Copy !req
812. I'm sorry for everything
I put you through.Copy !req
813. I just want you to know,Copy !req
814. I'm here, I'm queer,
and I want you back, dear,Copy !req
815. and your wonderful rear.Copy !req
816. You lost me at hello.
What?Copy !req
817. You found someone else,
and so did I.Copy !req
818. Liza Minnelli?Copy !req
819. You broke my heart,
Queer Duck.Copy !req
820. I can't let
you do it again.Copy !req
821. I can't believe I hiredCopy !req
822. a Liza impersonator
just to hurt him.Copy !req
823. I'm not an impersonator!Copy !req
824. I'm the real Liza!Copy !req
825. Oh, right.
You were cheaper.Copy !req
826. Don't hurt a person!Copy !req
827. Sir, if I may say, you've
been through quite a bit.Copy !req
828. You won a Tony,
but you lost your true love.Copy !req
829. You've been married,
widowed,Copy !req
830. gay, straight,
gay again,Copy !req
831. dirt poor,
and filthy rich.Copy !req
832. Yeah, it's been a busy weekend.
What's your point?Copy !req
833. I think it's time
you made a fresh start—Copy !req
834. enjoy your money,
live a little!Copy !req
835. You're right!Copy !req
836. What should we do first?Copy !req
837. Let's redecorate.Copy !req
838. What is this?
Buddy Ebsen's colostomy bag?Copy !req
839. What died in here?Copy !req
840. My wife.Copy !req
841. Oh.Copy !req
842. Flamin'!Copy !req
843. Adios!
Ciao!Copy !req
844. Wait!Copy !req
845. I guess it's up to us.Copy !req
846. This chimney hasn't been
cleaned in 10 years.Copy !req
847. I'll
do it right up, guv'nor.Copy !req
848. And could you singCopy !req
849. one of your merry
chimney sweep songs?Copy !req
850. I 'aven't got one.
Then make one up.Copy !req
851. Cor, what's this then?Copy !req
852. Emilio Estevez?Copy !req
853. So that's
where you've been.Copy !req
854. Girls, I've been
neglecting you,Copy !req
855. but I want
to make up for it.Copy !req
856. Now, I know I can't
buy your friendship—Copy !req
857. You can buy mine.Copy !req
858. I come surprisingly cheap.Copy !req
859. Great! Let me be
your fairy fairy godmother.Copy !req
860. Anything you want,
I'll get it for you.Copy !req
861. I would've liked
a bigger part in this movie.Copy !req
862. Yes, yes.Copy !req
863. I'm a very popular
character.Copy !req
864. I know.
Maybe in the sequel.Copy !req
865. Yeah, I'm
holdin' my breath.Copy !req
866. How about you, Oscar?Copy !req
867. There is one dream
I've always had...Copy !req
868. The House
and Closet ChannelCopy !req
869. is proud to present...Copy !req
870. Antiques Sideshow,
With Oscar Wildcat.Copy !req
871. I done found this
in a trash heap.Copy !req
872. It looks likeCopy !req
873. that little girl
from The Exorcist.Copy !req
874. Indeed it is.Copy !req
875. That is a Linda Blair
pepper mill.Copy !req
876. The head turns around,
just like in the film.Copy !req
877. Aah! Your mother
blows Nixon in hell.Copy !req
878. I have little doubt.Copy !req
879. I'd say this is worth
between 10 and 12 dollars.Copy !req
880. I'm rich!Copy !req
881. And what have
you got for us today?Copy !req
882. Nothing much.Copy !req
883. Just this old earring
from the sixties.Copy !req
884. Do you...
know Regina?Copy !req
885. I was Regina...
back in my drag days.Copy !req
886. No!Copy !req
887. It was you.Copy !req
888. Yes.Copy !req
889. But Reverend
Van Der GeldingCopy !req
890. showed me how sick
and ugly that life was.Copy !req
891. Oh. I see.Copy !req
892. Why do you ask?Copy !req
893. That was you
that night?Copy !req
894. Darling!Copy !req
895. I thought you were a woman.Copy !req
896. Oh, yes,
I was very good.Copy !req
897. Rowr.Copy !req
898. All these years of
heterosexual panic for nothing!Copy !req
899. Oh, yes!Copy !req
900. Ooh! Oh!Copy !req
901. Oh, it's coming
back to me.Copy !req
902. Turn it off!Copy !req
903. Turn it off!Copy !req
904. All right.Copy !req
905. How can we keep him
chained up like that?Copy !req
906. It was his idea.Copy !req
907. This is a minimum
security prison.Copy !req
908. Oh, you!Copy !req
909. Oh, yes!Copy !req
910. I saw this happen once
on Anderson Cooper.Copy !req
911. It's your turn,
Bi Polar Bear.Copy !req
912. What can I do for you?Copy !req
913. Well, when I was a kid,Copy !req
914. I was always chosen last
for baseball.Copy !req
915. Wow! I never
got chosen at all.Copy !req
916. Then I think you know
where I'm coming from.Copy !req
917. And now, to
throw out the first ball...Copy !req
918. the general manager
of the Houston Homos—Copy !req
919. Bi Polar Bear!Copy !req
920. Unh!Copy !req
921. Yoo-hoo!
Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
922. Don't you
dare slide!Copy !req
923. That's
an Armani uniform!Copy !req
924. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
925. All right!
Foot-long!Copy !req
926. Who wants a foot-long?Copy !req
927. I got a foot-long here!
How much?Copy !req
928. 10 bucks to see it,
20 to touch.Copy !req
929. Let's go.Copy !req
930. Queer Duck, you've brought
so much joy with your money.Copy !req
931. What are you
going to do next?Copy !req
932. I'm going
to buy Happyland!Copy !req
933. I would like
to turn this placeCopy !req
934. into America's
first gay theme park.Copy !req
935. Oh, I don't think so.Copy !req
936. You see, Happyland
was passed on to meCopy !req
937. by my father,
Fritz Happy.Copy !req
938. Your family
is really named Happy?Copy !req
939. Well, actually,
it's Hittler...Copy !req
940. with two Ts.Copy !req
941. And my father believed
in strong family values—Copy !req
942. Holy crap sticks!
Take it!Copy !req
943. How do you like that,
down there, Dad? Huh?Copy !req
944. How do you like it?Copy !req
945. Beat it, hetero.Copy !req
946. Fairyland,Copy !req
947. the all-gay amusement
park, opens tomorrow!Copy !req
948. Whether you're gay, bi,
transgender, or metrosexual,Copy !req
949. you'll want
to come for the fun.Copy !req
950. So come
to Fairyland tomorrowCopy !req
951. and check out
my opening!Copy !req
952. Nooo!Copy !req
953. He's going
over the wall.Copy !req
954. Aah!Copy !req
955. Why?
The gate's open.Copy !req
956. Oh, no.Copy !req
957. Are you gonna melt down
on me again?Copy !req
958. No. I'm in a very
happy place right now.Copy !req
959. Waiting tables
is what I do,Copy !req
960. and I'm damn good at it.Copy !req
961. Glad to hear it. Could I have
6 blooming onions?Copy !req
962. Hello, Artie? What?Copy !req
963. I'll be right there!Copy !req
964. I got a part!
And it is so me!Copy !req
965. I'm playing an admiral!Copy !req
966. Well, gee,
that's great.Copy !req
967. I'm gonna
kill my agent.Copy !req
968. Ahoy!Copy !req
969. Come hear tales of
the gay white whale,Copy !req
970. mostly dick.Copy !req
971. Look—it's
the Seven Gay Dwarfs!Copy !req
972. There's Queeny.Copy !req
973. Of course, Bitchy.Copy !req
974. Screamer, Flamer.Copy !req
975. There's Prancer.
Hello!Copy !req
976. And Mincer.Copy !req
977. Oh, and
there's David Sedaris!Copy !req
978. Uh, queens
out in Queens.Copy !req
979. There are gays
in Tangiers.Copy !req
980. Those dolls look
So life-like.Copy !req
981. Help us!
We're so hungry.Copy !req
982. What a day!Copy !req
983. I feel
like a young boy.Copy !req
984. Uh-huh. But there's never one
around when you want one.Copy !req
985. Every gay person
in town is here!Copy !req
986. Can you believe it,
Peccary?Copy !req
987. Pffft!Copy !req
988. Aah!Copy !req
989. Welcome to the Hall
of Salty Seamen.Copy !req
990. There is no eating,
drinking,Copy !req
991. talking, kissing,
groping, sucking, fu—Copy !req
992. Oh, fine. Just clean up
after yourselves.Copy !req
993. Our story begins
with the brave gay whalersCopy !req
994. of Provincetown.Copy !req
995. Thar he blows!Copy !req
996. It's Mostly Dick!Copy !req
997. 'Tis a sperm whale
to be sure.Copy !req
998. I've never seen one
so big... that was white.Copy !req
999. Psst... Gator.Copy !req
1000. Come quick.
It's important.Copy !req
1001. Um, I'll just be minute.Copy !req
1002. In the meantime, please enjoy
this classic gay sea chantey,Copy !req
1003. The Rectum of Edmund
Fits Gerald.Copy !req
1004. What have you done
with Peccary?Copy !req
1005. I slipped
some drugs in his food.Copy !req
1006. When he passed out,
I stripped his clothes off.Copy !req
1007. Ah... the old
camp counselor trick.Copy !req
1008. We're worried
about Queer Duck.Copy !req
1009. Queer Duck is
none of my concern.Copy !req
1010. We've gone
our separate ways,Copy !req
1011. and I couldn't
be happier.Copy !req
1012. But we think
he's in danger.Copy !req
1013. My baby's in trouble?Copy !req
1014. Oh, my gay god!Copy !req
1015. We've gotta help him!Copy !req
1016. Hey, Mr. Duckstein,
here I am!Copy !req
1017. You know, that boat
doesn't go anywhere.Copy !req
1018. Oh, right.Copy !req
1019. Thank you, Queer Duck,Copy !req
1020. for getting all these
homosexuals in one place.Copy !req
1021. What are you
going to do?Copy !req
1022. Remember this stuff?Copy !req
1023. It turned you straight.Copy !req
1024. And now
I'm going to spray itCopy !req
1025. on all your little
gay friends down there.Copy !req
1026. You bastard!Copy !req
1027. You know,
for a heterosexual,Copy !req
1028. you tie
really good knots.Copy !req
1029. Oh, you.Copy !req
1030. That crazy reverend escaped
from prison,Copy !req
1031. and now Queer Duck
is missing.Copy !req
1032. OK, if we combine all
our special talents,Copy !req
1033. I know we can
find him.Copy !req
1034. I have no special talents.
Me, neither.Copy !req
1035. I can crack walnuts
with my ass.Copy !req
1036. I've eaten walnuts
in your home.Copy !req
1037. Let's fan out
and search the park.Copy !req
1038. He's not in the park.Copy !req
1039. He's up there.Copy !req
1040. Attention, homosexuals.Copy !req
1041. In just one minute,
the Fairyland blimpCopy !req
1042. will be spraying
free cosmopolitans!Copy !req
1043. Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
1044. Operation Straight ShooterCopy !req
1045. set to commence
in 60 seconds.Copy !req
1046. Oh, God,
oh, God, oh, God—Copy !req
1047. Oh, crap,
I left my lights on.Copy !req
1048. 45 seconds to big squirt.Copy !req
1049. What the hell—Copy !req
1050. Openly Gator!Copy !req
1051. Queer Duck!Copy !req
1052. Give him back,
you bitch!Copy !req
1053. Rrr!Copy !req
1054. Uh-uh-uh-uh!Copy !req
1055. We're dead.Copy !req
1056. 30 seconds to big squirt.Copy !req
1057. Give up?
Make me.Copy !req
1058. The power of
the Lord commands you!Copy !req
1059. No, I don't.Copy !req
1060. Jesus! Get it off,
get it off, get it off!Copy !req
1061. 15 seconds to big squirt.Copy !req
1062. Shut up.Copy !req
1063. We're gonna crash!Copy !req
1064. Aah!Copy !req
1065. Ohh!Copy !req
1066. Aah!Copy !req
1067. Aah!Copy !req
1068. Help us, Lord!Copy !req
1069. Hello?
I'm like 3 inches tall.Copy !req
1070. We better get off
this thing.Copy !req
1071. You think? These are
really good knots.Copy !req
1072. I know.Copy !req
1073. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
1074. Ouch! Oh!Copy !req
1075. Oh! Ooh!Copy !req
1076. Ow! Ohh!Copy !req
1077. Aah!Copy !req
1078. Commence big squirt.Copy !req
1079. Hey, I'm Jesus.Copy !req
1080. Oh, Queer Duck, I feel
just like Richard Gere,Copy !req
1081. if he was gay.Copy !req
1082. Does this mean
you forgive me?Copy !req
1083. Who can stay mad at you?Copy !req
1084. Are you gay
to stay this time?Copy !req
1085. You bet
your gorgeous ass I am.Copy !req
1086. You beat the Royals.Copy !req
1087. Louis Armstrong?Copy !req
1088. Every romantic comedyCopy !req
1089. ends with
a Louis Armstrong number.Copy !req
1090. He's gonna blow!Copy !req
1091. I do!Copy !req
1092. Openly Gator?
Say it loud!Copy !req
1093. Dick Cheney's daughter?
I'm so proud.Copy !req
1094. Rex and Oscar?
Celebrate.Copy !req
1095. Conan O'Brien?Copy !req
1096. I swear I'm straight!Copy !req
1097. Erotic! Erratic!Copy !req
1098. And mostly democratic!Copy !req
1099. We're so glad!Copy !req
1100. We're so glad!Copy !req
1101. I love that movie!Copy !req
1102. It gave me tingles!Copy !req
1103. Smack those feathers!Copy !req
1104. Yeah! Pluck me!
Pluck me! Pluck me!Copy !req
1105. It's Gator.
I hate to bother you,Copy !req
1106. but I didn't know
who else to call!Copy !req
1107. I can crack walnuts
with my butt.Copy !req
1108. Put down
the goddamn trumpet!Copy !req
1109. All right, foot-long!
Who wants a foot-long?Copy !req
1110. I got a foot-long here!
How much?Copy !req
1111. 10 bucks to see it,
20 to touch.Copy !req
1112. Let's go.Copy !req
1113. Oh, yes,
I was very good.Copy !req
1114. Rowr.Copy !req
1115. It's charming. I give them
warm cookies and milk.Copy !req
1116. It's not sexual.Copy !req
1117. The trick is to unhinge your jaw
like a python.Copy !req
1118. All across America,
fags are at half mast.Copy !req
1119. God, that's funny!Copy !req
1120. Shh!Copy !req
1121. Oh, hush yourself,
bitch.Copy !req