1. We have with us today, a man
who scarcely needs an introduction.Copy !req
2. Pootie Tang,
good to have you with us.Copy !req
3. Sepatown.Copy !req
4. You've had incredible success
in lots of fields,Copy !req
5. music, films, martial arts, pottery.Copy !req
6. How do you do it?
What makes you tick?Copy !req
7. Well, Bob.
I'm a pone tonie.Copy !req
8. Got my dillies on a peppatain.Copy !req
9. I hear that.Copy !req
10. Pootie, a lot of young artists say
you are their inspiration.Copy !req
11. Well, I can't say the nay no,
my brother. Wa-da-tah!Copy !req
12. You've got a new movie
coming out, right?Copy !req
13. Yeah. It's called
"Sine Your Pitty On The Runny Kine".Copy !req
14. And who's in it, besides yourself?Copy !req
15. There's Trucky, Bad Bitty, Dirty Dee...Copy !req
16. Lacey, J.B...Copy !req
17. Biggie Shorty...Copy !req
18. and Robert Vaughn.Copy !req
19. You have a clip you'd like to show us?Copy !req
20. Let's take a look at this clip
from Pootie Tang's new movie:Copy !req
21. "Sine Your Pitty On The Runny Kine".Copy !req
22. It was the year 2001.Copy !req
23. It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times.Copy !req
24. The big city was thriving,
but the inner city was dying.Copy !req
25. Who was killing it?Copy !req
26. This man, Dick Lecter,Copy !req
27. head of Corporate America.Copy !req
28. But the people had hope,Copy !req
29. because there was one man
who could fight the power.Copy !req
30. One man who
could stop the madness.Copy !req
31. One man who could beat Dick Lecter
like the LAPD.Copy !req
32. That man...
that man was Pootie Tang.Copy !req
33. See that guy? That's Bad Bitty,Copy !req
34. the baddest drug dealer in town.Copy !req
35. Hey, Bad Bitty, here comes Dirty Dee.Copy !req
36. Dirty bastard!Copy !req
37. That's Dirty Dee,Copy !req
38. the dirtiest dude around.Copy !req
39. He handles all of
Corporate America's dirty work.Copy !req
40. Next to Dirty Dee...
that's Froggy, the enforcer.Copy !req
41. Yo, Bad Bitty, how you been?Copy !req
42. I'm bad, Dirty Dee.
You're still dirty, I can see.Copy !req
43. Lets deal, baby.Copy !req
44. - You got yours?
- Froggy.Copy !req
45. Dirty money.Copy !req
46. You got yours?Copy !req
47. How do I know if they're any good?Copy !req
48. Let's test them out.Copy !req
49. Hey, kid! Come over here.Copy !req
50. That's Kid, the dumbest kid in town.Copy !req
51. What do you want, mister?Copy !req
52. Here, have some of this.Copy !req
53. Is it candy?Copy !req
54. - Told you.
- Yeah.Copy !req
55. It's the kind of candy
that you smoke out of a pipe.Copy !req
56. Pipe candy!Copy !req
57. Pootie Tang!Copy !req
58. Capachow.Copy !req
59. Yeah! Pootie Tang!Copy !req
60. Dirty Dee, you a
baddy daddy lamatai tebby chai.Copy !req
61. Get that Pootie!Copy !req
62. That's a canapan, all the way down.Copy !req
63. Mother...!Copy !req
64. Shut up, bitch.Copy !req
65. OK, I quit.Copy !req
66. Run, Pootie, run!Copy !req
67. Come on!Copy !req
68. Get out, get out!Copy !req
69. Hiya, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
70. Sa da tay!Copy !req
71. Pootie Tang was born in a small town
outside Gary, Indiana...Copy !req
72. and that town was called Chicago.Copy !req
73. Everyone noticed something different
about the way Pootie would talk.Copy !req
74. It baffled everyone...
doctors, scientists...Copy !req
75. Let me put it like this.Copy !req
76. Pootie Tang is, was and will always
be too cool for words.Copy !req
77. Pootie Tang
was the most popular kid in town.Copy !req
78. We didn't always know what he was
saying, but we knew what he meant.Copy !req
79. I knew I was his best friend.
That's me, Trucky.Copy !req
80. He had a special effect on people,
especially the ladies,Copy !req
81. not girls, grown ass-women.Copy !req
82. - Hiya, Pootie Tang.
- I'm a tine cappy, my damie.Copy !req
83. Wa-da-tah.Copy !req
84. All right, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
85. But for some of the ladies,
Pootie was too hot to handle.Copy !req
86. Damn you, Pootie Tang.
I can't take no more of this.Copy !req
87. Who do you think you are,
treating me this way?Copy !req
88. I've had it with you,
you hear me talking?Copy !req
89. This is it, I'm finished with you.
Stay out of my life.Copy !req
90. You think I'm joking?
Take your shit and get out!Copy !req
91. Pootie Tang, I'm sick of you.Copy !req
92. Pootie... Pootie, don't go!Copy !req
93. Pootie Tang was an only child.Copy !req
94. His father, Daddy Tang,
worked hard to raise Pootie right.Copy !req
95. He had this belt.
He was so fast with itCopy !req
96. that before Pootie could do wrong,
Daddy Tang would set him right.Copy !req
97. Don't grab those peas
without asking your mama.Copy !req
98. May I dane on the cammies, Mama Di?Copy !req
99. Yes you may, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
100. That's better.Copy !req
101. You got to have respect
to get respect, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
102. So, do you have any girlfriends
at school, Pootie?Copy !req
103. Mama Di, there's a sine tipi tai in a a classi ti, she's a solo toni.Copy !req
104. Don't you talk dirty
to your mama, boy.Copy !req
105. Always got your head in them girls.Copy !req
106. Put your head in the books
and leave the ladies alone.Copy !req
107. And that's how it was. Daddy Tang
and his belt were always thereCopy !req
108. teaching Pootie the difference
between good and bad.Copy !req
109. When I say he was always there,
I mean he was always there.Copy !req
110. Pootie, let's steal some apples.Copy !req
111. When Pootie was six,
his mother died,Copy !req
112. leaving him and his father alone.
Pootie was very sad.Copy !req
113. I know, son.Copy !req
114. But his father was a comfort to him.Copy !req
115. Don't slurp your soup in here, boy!Copy !req
116. Two weeks later,
another terrible tragedy.Copy !req
117. His father was fatally injured
at the steel mill.Copy !req
118. It was incredible.Copy !req
119. Only the third time a man had been
mauled by a gorilla at that steel mill.Copy !req
120. On his deathbed, Daddy Tang
had Pootie make a solemn promise.Copy !req
121. Pootie, I know I brought you up tough,Copy !req
122. but that's cos I love you.Copy !req
123. It's tough out there, Pootie.Copy !req
124. You've got drugs...Copy !req
125. crime... gorillas.Copy !req
126. I ain't gonna be here much longer.
So, I'm gonna give you this.Copy !req
127. Pootie, that's my belt.Copy !req
128. As long as you got right on your side,
you can whip anyone's ass,Copy !req
129. with just that belt.Copy !req
130. I know you love the ladies,Copy !req
131. and Lord knows the ladies love you.Copy !req
132. Don't let the ladies
come between you and the belt.Copy !req
133. Those were Daddy Tang's last words.Copy !req
134. "Don't let the ladies
come between you and the belt."Copy !req
135. But there was something else
about the ladiesCopy !req
136. Daddy Tang forgot to tell Pootie.Copy !req
137. Pootie Tang turned out just fine.
Daddy Tang would have been proud.Copy !req
138. Pootie had it all.Copy !req
139. Hit records, movies, magazine covers,Copy !req
140. fancy cars, famous friends,
beautiful clothesCopy !req
141. and ladies, ladies, ladies.Copy !req
142. Through it all,
I was right there by his side.Copy !req
143. That's me, Trucky.Copy !req
144. And that's my man,
Pootie Tang.Copy !req
145. Big-time celebrity, crime fighter
and role model to children.Copy !req
146. Pootie Tang has a messageCopy !req
147. for the children of America.Copy !req
148. So you better wapatah to the bammies,Copy !req
149. cos the cammietowns a biddieCopy !req
150. on the Pannie Stai!Copy !req
151. Pootie says cigarettes and fast foodCopy !req
152. are bad like netatai.Copy !req
153. And don't drink malt liquor
cos you don't need to,Copy !req
154. cos you're O.K., sa da tay.Copy !req
155. Also, eat all your vegetables,
and don't bang the dillies.Copy !req
156. That's Frank.Copy !req
157. Dick Lecter's right hand man.Copy !req
158. So what do we care?Copy !req
159. We care because he's making these.Copy !req
160. People have been making P.S.A.'s
for years. It hasn't made a difference.Copy !req
161. Eddie, hit me with those figures.Copy !req
162. Since the inception
of Pootie Tang's PSA campaign,Copy !req
163. sales of Lecter burgers
are down 30 per cent,Copy !req
164. Lecter cigarettes down 20 per centCopy !req
165. and Lecter whiskey
is almost out of business.Copy !req
166. Someone's getting to these kids
and it's killing us.Copy !req
167. It's killing us.Copy !req
168. It's killing us.Copy !req
169. Hello, Mr. Lecter.Copy !req
170. - Frank, I have a job for you.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
171. I'll tell you, Pootie Tang's
one bad brother, man.Copy !req
172. That's J.B. and Lacey.Copy !req
173. We make up Pootie's crew.Copy !req
174. Pootie Tang will draw you a picture
of how he's gonna kick your assCopy !req
175. then mail it to you
ten days in advance.Copy !req
176. The picture gets there.
You go, "What the hell is this?"Copy !req
177. Then he knocks on your door,
properly kicks your ass,Copy !req
178. and you still won't know
what happened.Copy !req
179. Got that right.
He's a kick-ass artiste.Copy !req
180. He's like the Da Vinci of ass-kicking.
That's him right?Copy !req
181. Pootie Tang,
the Da Vinci of ass-kicking.Copy !req
182. Pootie Tang whips your ass so bad,
you can write it off on your taxes.Copy !req
183. Right here. Ass whipping number one,
ass whipping number two...Copy !req
184. That's just getting beat up.Copy !req
185. I'd also like to add that Pootie Tang
can kick some ass too, boy.Copy !req
186. Here comes Pootie Tang now.Copy !req
187. - Hey, Pootie!
- We were just talking about you.Copy !req
188. Hey man, you going
to Biggie Shorty's party tomorrow?Copy !req
189. I guess you're wondering
who is Biggie Shorty.Copy !req
190. I'm Biggie Shorty.Copy !req
191. I'll tell you about me and Pootie Tang.Copy !req
192. Since the very day we met,
I knew Pootie was to be my man.Copy !req
193. I knew all I had to do was wait.Copy !req
194. One day, all that bullshit would catch
up with Pootie and he would be mine.Copy !req
195. You going to Biggie Shorty's party
tomorrow?Copy !req
196. Ranacan.Copy !req
197. You're a party man!Copy !req
198. There's gonna be
some bitches in there!Copy !req
199. You right, respect the women.
Respect the women.Copy !req
200. Look at that car!Copy !req
201. Man, that car's big.
And long like a whole snake.Copy !req
202. That car's so big,
it's got its own sky.Copy !req
203. Yeah, it's big too.Copy !req
204. - Keep it running.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
205. Hiya, fellas!Copy !req
206. Kinda hot for a hootenanny, huh?Copy !req
207. Hear that? A hootenanny. What the hell is a damn hootenanny?Copy !req
208. I'm looking for Pootie Tang.Copy !req
209. Pootie Tang.
What do you want with Pootie Tang?Copy !req
210. I need to talk to him.Copy !req
211. I'm a representative of Lecter Corp.
Do you know what that is?Copy !req
212. Great.Copy !req
213. Dick Lecter,
the CEO of Lecter Corp. Likes you.Copy !req
214. He likes you, Pootie. He wants
to make you a very rich man.Copy !req
215. I have a contract here
for Pootie to endorse.Copy !req
216. Tasty heavy pork chunk cereal.Copy !req
217. It's delicious.
It's a wonderful product.Copy !req
218. Kids love it and kids love you.
We just want to put that together.Copy !req
219. Nah di. That's a canapan
to the senachai.Copy !req
220. I didn't even say how much it pays.Copy !req
221. 20 million dollars to sign
for just one year.Copy !req
222. What do you say, Pootie?Copy !req
223. I got to say the nay no, my brother.
Wa-da-tah.Copy !req
224. Wa-da-tah? How do you say
the nay no to 20 million, why?Copy !req
225. Maybe Pootie don't wanna sign
because he knows you're full of it.Copy !req
226. First of all,
he knows that cereal's full of sugar.Copy !req
227. Number two,
that's not all that you guys sell.Copy !req
228. You sell cigarettes, whiskey,
burgers, switchblades,Copy !req
229. and it also says you will no longer
let Pootie do P.S.A's.Copy !req
230. Telling kids to eat healthy
and to be smart.Copy !req
231. Sure, exclusivity goes without saying.Copy !req
232. I'm sure your ugly intentions
go without saying.Copy !req
233. Take a walk, money man.Copy !req
234. See my damie?Copy !req
235. Pootie Tang don't wa-da-tah to the shana cowCopy !req
236. cos that's my cama cama leepa-chai, dig?Copy !req
237. Hey Tang, to you they're children,
to me they're dollar signs.Copy !req
238. Cover your grill!Copy !req
239. Sa da tay!Copy !req
240. You're funny man,
you are a funny man.Copy !req
241. Wild boy!Copy !req
242. Pootie smacked the taste
out of Frank's mouth.Copy !req
243. Man, that was a funny time.Copy !req
244. But one man was not laughing at all.Copy !req
245. Pootie Tang goes out there
and makes everybody love him.Copy !req
246. And he tells them
not to buy my products.Copy !req
247. He steals from me.Copy !req
248. What do I do?
I say take my money, here take it.Copy !req
249. And he says no.Copy !req
250. I guess you're wondering,
who is this bitch?Copy !req
251. That's Ireenie,Copy !req
252. Dick Lecter's main squeeze,Copy !req
253. and the most dangerous woman
on the planet.Copy !req
254. She don't look it,
but she can bring any man down.Copy !req
255. I know what makes Pootie Tang...
tick... tock... tick.Copy !req
256. That's cool. All right.Copy !req
257. It's all gone now, Pootie.
What do you wanna do?Copy !req
258. Lepatime.Copy !req
259. What's he got on his mind?Copy !req
260. We're starting from scratch, I guess.Copy !req
261. Pootie knows what to do.Copy !req
262. This is gonna be good.Copy !req
263. I'll play back the levels
the way you set them.Copy !req
264. No instruments, no vocals, no levels.
Everything silent.Copy !req
265. Set it on me. Bleed.Copy !req
266. Pootie don't need no words,
don't even need no music!Copy !req
267. We have got a hit, baby!Copy !req
268. I like it, everybody seems to like it.
Now something you'll all like.Copy !req
269. We got the world premiere
from Pootie TangCopy !req
270. and you know it'll be
out of this world.Copy !req
271. You all loved his last record,
"Sine Your Pitty On The Runny Kine".Copy !req
272. You're all gonna love this new one.Copy !req
273. The new one is called...Copy !req
274. So let's listen up to the new record
by Pootie Tang, called...Copy !req
275. from Pootie Tang.Copy !req
276. Damn, this is good.
This is good! Pootie did it again!Copy !req
277. Pootie too good!Copy !req
278. Turn that noise down, dammit!Copy !req
279. Legendary Pootie Tang
has done it again,Copy !req
280. with his new song entitled...Copy !req
281. already considered
one of the greatest hits of all time.Copy !req
282. This was the scene earlier today, as
fans mobbed Pootie Tang in the street.Copy !req
283. Many said they hadn't heard an artist
this profound since Al B Sure.Copy !req
284. Pootie was blowing up now.Copy !req
285. We're talking big.
I mean Macarena big.Copy !req
286. We're talking Electric Slide big.
Bentleys and girls in bikini thongs big.Copy !req
287. Everybody want a piece of Pootie.
You think I'm playing?Copy !req
288. Wait a minute.Copy !req
289. We got Pootie Tang
in the house tonight.Copy !req
290. Come on, Pootie.
I need you to sing a song with me.Copy !req
291. I love you, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
292. That's a bata shane, my tellie. Wa-da-tah.Copy !req
293. Pootie Tang was with us here tonight.Copy !req
294. Pootie Tang!Copy !req
295. I love you, I want you.
I want to be with you.Copy !req
296. Pootie, please, please...Copy !req
297. I want you, I love you Pootie...Copy !req
298. Don't leave me out here
on my lonesome.Copy !req
299. Give a girl something!Copy !req
300. It's not right.Copy !req
301. She's fine! Why did Pootie
pass that up? Cos she's crazy.Copy !req
302. She's licking milk out of a bowl.Copy !req
303. - Biggie Shorty.
- Pootie Tang! All right!Copy !req
304. Bata shane, my dillie?Copy !req
305. Same as always, baby.Copy !req
306. You come back tomorrow,
we gonna have a party.Copy !req
307. Talk about all the sisters and me.Copy !req
308. - You gonna be there?
- Wa-da-tah!Copy !req
309. All right, Pootie!Copy !req
310. Hey, young boys!Copy !req
311. Hey! Look at her!Copy !req
312. She's a lady!Copy !req
313. Oh, man, pull up!Copy !req
314. What do you want?Copy !req
315. - You want something?
- Yeah, baby, I want it.Copy !req
316. What do you want?Copy !req
317. How about the two of us?
How much?Copy !req
318. What's your problem?Copy !req
319. Just cos a girl dresses fancyCopy !req
320. and stands on street corners
near some whores,Copy !req
321. you think she's hooking?
- Wouldn't you?Copy !req
322. No, I wouldn't.
I'm a lady, you greasy bastard.Copy !req
323. Ah, yeah! Pootie Tang
and the boys are here.Copy !req
324. Yo, man, a Biggie Shorty party
is exclusive.Copy !req
325. They don't let nobody in.
They got to line around the block.Copy !req
326. You know what? Nobody we know
could get in this party.Copy !req
327. They don't let no light in,
no electricity, no water.Copy !req
328. They don't let air in.Copy !req
329. Air is right now going,
"Hey, I'm air. I'm on the list".Copy !req
330. And they won't let air in.
Air gets in everywhere.Copy !req
331. That's how exclusive
a Biggie Shorty party is.Copy !req
332. Hey, you know what else?
It's hard to get in too.Copy !req
333. I hate you!Copy !req
334. Pretty girl. Pretty girl!Copy !req
335. Pretty girl out there!Copy !req
336. Pootie, you are the sexiest bastard
on God's green earth.Copy !req
337. Yeah.Copy !req
338. I tell you though, someday, I'm gonna
get a piece of you for myself.Copy !req
339. - Sepatown.
- Sepatown, my ass!Copy !req
340. You gonna be inside a bed
with me someday.Copy !req
341. You mark my words,
you skinny wonderful man.Copy !req
342. Pretty girl. Pretty girl?Copy !req
343. Sexy!Copy !req
344. Pretty girl?Copy !req
345. Pretty girl!Copy !req
346. How does a woman
get to you anyway?Copy !req
347. It's like a state secret.
How to be with Pootie Tang.Copy !req
348. All right, get off him.
He don't want none of your mess.Copy !req
349. I tell you what, Pootie.Copy !req
350. Someday, you gonna meet
your match in a woman.Copy !req
351. Some day you gonna meet
the Darth Vader of T and A.Copy !req
352. Some woman's gonna kick your ass
and love you to death.Copy !req
353. And you gonna be in the dumps,Copy !req
354. banged to death
by the dark side of love.Copy !req
355. And on that day, Pootie,Copy !req
356. I'm gonna be there.Copy !req
357. And I'm gonna make
sweet love to you.Copy !req
358. Sexy girl!Copy !req
359. - Damn, man.
- Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
360. I thought you were
somebody else, man.Copy !req
361. Sorry, man.Copy !req
362. Sorry!Copy !req
363. I didn't get your name, did I?Copy !req
364. Damn, do I know you?Copy !req
365. Do you want me to pull your legs off?Copy !req
366. Pardon me?Copy !req
367. Want to make out?Copy !req
368. I might enjoy that.
I just might enjoy that.Copy !req
369. You know, I just might enjoy that.Copy !req
370. OK, wait a minute...
Wait a minute!Copy !req
371. Call me a sissy,
but you need to stop.Copy !req
372. You're tearing me apart,
you're killing me.Copy !req
373. - You want me to stop?
- Well, yes I do.Copy !req
374. OK, then tell me something.Copy !req
375. - What do you wanna know?
- What's Pootie's secret?Copy !req
376. I can't tell you that.Copy !req
377. I would never do anything
to hurt Pootie Tang.Copy !req
378. But like I said, Ireenie knew
how to break a brother down.Copy !req
379. - I can't tell you that.
- You can't? All right.Copy !req
380. OK, wait, I'll tell you,
I'll tell you.Copy !req
381. I'll tell you. It's the belt.Copy !req
382. It's magical. He can kick
anybody's ass with that damn belt.Copy !req
383. Freeze, sucker.Copy !req
384. Give me your money, you fancy pants
bastard or I'll stick this in you deep.Copy !req
385. Wa-da-tah, my damie.Copy !req
386. I'm not your damie.
Give me your cash. I know you got it.Copy !req
387. Hey, I told you to back off.Copy !req
388. Pootie, hey, Pootie.Copy !req
389. Pootie. The craziest thing
happened to me.Copy !req
390. I'm in the club...
Pootie look out!Copy !req
391. Bang, bang, bang!Copy !req
392. Pootie? Everything under control?Copy !req
393. Kayed a brother, di. Kayed a brother, di!Copy !req
394. I'm a shamey day.Copy !req
395. I'm a shamey day!Copy !req
396. It hurts Pootie to kill a man.Copy !req
397. But he knows he's got to do it.Copy !req
398. But it hurts him so bad
to right those wrongs.Copy !req
399. My man, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
400. Come back on the bettie tai!
Come back on the bettie tai!Copy !req
401. Come back on the bettie tai!Copy !req
402. Pootie Tang?Copy !req
403. All right, my damie.Copy !req
404. Why didn't Trucky tell Pootie
he told Ireenie all his business?Copy !req
405. Just running his mouth.Copy !req
406. When you see a man brought
back from the dead, you forget shit.Copy !req
407. Or maybe you're just a dumb ass.Copy !req
408. Stop the movie.Copy !req
409. Remember when Daddy Tang
told little Pootie,Copy !req
410. "Don't let the ladies come
between you and the belt".Copy !req
411. Daddy Tang forgot to tell Pootie
about his only weakness...Copy !req
412. hoes. Even Pootie Tang's belt
was no match for Ireenie.Copy !req
413. You can't beat a hoe with a belt.
They like that shit.Copy !req
414. I'm sorry.
Did my cart hit your cart?Copy !req
415. I'm so sorry about that.Copy !req
416. Did I hurt you?Copy !req
417. What a drag.Copy !req
418. Again, I am very... sorry.Copy !req
419. Will you do something for me?Copy !req
420. Sign your pretty name.Copy !req
421. Sign it... sign it.Copy !req
422. He's signed it.Copy !req
423. He's signed it.Copy !req
424. He's signed it.Copy !req
425. He signed it?Copy !req
426. Nice job, Ireenie.Copy !req
427. You're a damn genius, baby.Copy !req
428. "I, Pootie Tang,
surrender to Lecter Corp.Copy !req
429. "All rights to my image and likeness.Copy !req
430. "I will wholeheartedly endorse
all Lecter Corp. ProductsCopy !req
431. "and will do my best to convince
the children of the worldCopy !req
432. "the above-mentioned
are all clean, safeCopy !req
433. "and should be used by all of them."Copy !req
434. Not the tipi tais, no!Copy !req
435. You are part of the corporation
just like us.Copy !req
436. Thought you could stay out of it?
Welcome aboard, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
437. Are you looking
for something, my friend?Copy !req
438. I've got it all, now.Copy !req
439. Shocking news todayCopy !req
440. as Pootie Tang endorses
several controversial productsCopy !req
441. for Lecter Corp.,
the infamous giant corporation.Copy !req
442. Something on the TV
about Pootie Tang.Copy !req
443. Man, my kids looked up to him.Copy !req
444. They don't even look at Dad
like they looked at him.Copy !req
445. But since he crossed, my little man
came up to me the other dayCopy !req
446. and was like,
"How can he do that bullshit, man?"Copy !req
447. Pootie Tang has made my children
cry. I'll not support him anymore.Copy !req
448. Lecter Corp. Effectively owns the name
Pootie Tang, his image and copyright.Copy !req
449. Pootie Tang has agreed to do several
commercials endorsing our sneakers,Copy !req
450. food products, cigarettes, whiskey,
mace, switchblades, rat poison...Copy !req
451. - Pootie!
- Oh, no.Copy !req
452. I always had a high opinion of Pootie
Tang, but the way things are going,Copy !req
453. not only is he sold out,
he's scraping the bottom of the barrel.Copy !req
454. He was drugged by that crazy Ireenie.Copy !req
455. Haven't you been watching the movie?Copy !req
456. That's what disturbs me.Copy !req
457. He's telling kids not to go to school,
to eat fast food, to do drugs.Copy !req
458. This is not the Pootie Tang
I used to know and admire.Copy !req
459. He would never tell kids
stuff like that.Copy !req
460. You're in denial.
He's doing dirt to his own reputation.Copy !req
461. - You don't know Pootie Tang.
- I don't know Pootie Tang?Copy !req
462. I know Pootie Tang and this isn't
the Pootie Tang I thought I knew.Copy !req
463. I thought a man of your stature would
have better sense than to fall for that.Copy !req
464. Look, this is all falling apart.Copy !req
465. The man used to be admired
by people of all walks of life.Copy !req
466. If the world is gonna fall
for this mess about my Pootie Tang,Copy !req
467. then maybe the world
don't deserve him.Copy !req
468. What do you think Pootie Tang
needs at this point in his life?Copy !req
469. He just needs some of my good loving,
and he will be all right.Copy !req
470. - You watch.
- I hope you're right.Copy !req
471. - I know I am.
- We'll see.Copy !req
472. - We'll see.
- That's right.Copy !req
473. - Watch.
- I will.Copy !req
474. Pootie Tang was messed up.Copy !req
475. - Punk bitch!
- Sell out!Copy !req
476. Look at him.Copy !req
477. - Get a job, you bum.
- Get it together!Copy !req
478. Pootie looked like
someone who did it and ran.Copy !req
479. Pootie turned to the only woman
who could help him,Copy !req
480. Biggie Shorty.Copy !req
481. Pootie!Copy !req
482. - Pootie! Poor Pootie Tang.
- Tipi tais.Copy !req
483. That's all right.
Mama's got you. It's all right.Copy !req
484. Biggie Shorty's
gonna take care of you.Copy !req
485. Don't you worry.Copy !req
486. Gonna have sex with you too,
you know.Copy !req
487. Finally.Copy !req
488. Are you sure you gotta go, Pootie?Copy !req
489. Yeah.Copy !req
490. That's a damn shame.Copy !req
491. You're the best piece of man
I ever had.Copy !req
492. You could stay here and live between
my bosoms for the rest of your life.Copy !req
493. Pootie got to flittie tai.Copy !req
494. Man's got to do, I suppose.Copy !req
495. I guess whilst you're gone, they can't
make you do more commercials.Copy !req
496. Where you gonna go?Copy !req
497. I tell you what.Copy !req
498. I got a little farmhouse
outside Greenville.Copy !req
499. It was my mama's.
It ain't much but nobody's living there.Copy !req
500. You go out there,
find yourself, blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
501. Then you come back to me, okay?Copy !req
502. That's a fine tine, baby.Copy !req
503. Give me some of that bony ass
one more time before you hit the road.Copy !req
504. Man, I hate prison.
Prison sucks.Copy !req
505. I reckon it's supposed to.Copy !req
506. You got something for me?Copy !req
507. This is fine dirt, man, good dirt.Copy !req
508. I'm gonna hook you up.Copy !req
509. I hate these bastards.
They make me shower every day.Copy !req
510. They never let me get dirty.
I'm Dirty Dee, dammit!Copy !req
511. Dirty Dee,
you gonna be dirty again soon.Copy !req
512. I promise.Copy !req
513. It's that Pootie Tang.
He got to be stopped.Copy !req
514. I'm the one that's gonna stop him.Copy !req
515. Pootie damn Tang!Copy !req
516. Pootie!Copy !req
517. Pootie was headed to the farm
I wanted to go with him.Copy !req
518. Because it was all my fault.Copy !req
519. Everything that happened,
it's all my fault.Copy !req
520. I told that bitch all these things
and she just used it against him.Copy !req
521. I was sorry.
It was killing me.Copy !req
522. I only did it for the ass.Copy !req
523. That deri-teri was all the dinie.Copy !req
524. I felt like he'd saved my life.Copy !req
525. And I'd messed his all up.Copy !req
526. I wanted him to forgive me.Copy !req
527. Trucky, you my main damie, man.Copy !req
528. Ain't no bad tammies between us.Copy !req
529. I wondered if he meant it.Copy !req
530. I'm a baino denie.Copy !req
531. I wanted to go to the farm with him.Copy !req
532. Wa-da-tah!Copy !req
533. All right, me and Pootie
going to the farm!Copy !req
534. I'm looking forward to this farm life.
Enough of the city.Copy !req
535. This is just what we need, Pootie.Copy !req
536. Live off the fat of the land,Copy !req
537. work hard, farming,
farming, farming.Copy !req
538. I can't wait, man. I cannot wait.Copy !req
539. I'm gonna milk that cow.Copy !req
540. All that milk, two per cent fat free,
skimmed milk.Copy !req
541. All that milk. Chocolate milk.Copy !req
542. I don't need no television,
cappuccino, partying all night long.Copy !req
543. I'm gonna put blisters on my hands.Copy !req
544. Sweat on my back.
That's what I want.Copy !req
545. Shit!Copy !req
546. Oh man, my pants.Copy !req
547. My damn pants.
Farming, farming, farming.Copy !req
548. This is not the thing, man.
This ain't cool.Copy !req
549. Dirty shoes, dirty pants,
dirty shirt, stinky.Copy !req
550. It's hotter than a camel's hump here,
mosquitoes all over my shirt.Copy !req
551. I can't do it, man.
Whose dog is following me around?Copy !req
552. Whose dog is that?
Could be anybody's dog.Copy !req
553. I didn't want to leave Pootie,
but I couldn't do that survivor shit.Copy !req
554. I'll back my ass,
I need conveniences, man.Copy !req
555. On the other hand,
Pootie was loving every minute of it.Copy !req
556. He was rejuvenated.
Rejuvenated.Copy !req
557. He was juvenated before,
lost it and got juvenated again.Copy !req
558. And when Pootie planted
his first corn stalk...Copy !req
559. Damie.Copy !req
560. he was happy.Copy !req
561. Too damn happy, if you ask me.Copy !req
562. It was just corn.Copy !req
563. It was just what he needed
to take his mind off his troubles.Copy !req
564. Rown on the crowny town.Copy !req
565. Morning.Copy !req
566. - Hi, Daddy.
- Not now, Stacy, honey.Copy !req
567. There's a new fella in town.
He's coming in here in a minute.Copy !req
568. - So?
- Maybe you can marry him.Copy !req
569. Daddy!Copy !req
570. Cut that shit out, Stacy.Copy !req
571. Here he comes.Copy !req
572. Hi, there.Copy !req
573. You got your can filled all right?Copy !req
574. This is my daughter, Stacy.Copy !req
575. Dillie on...Copy !req
576. my damie.Copy !req
577. She's a looker, ain't she?Copy !req
578. Dirty Dee!Copy !req
579. God, you stink!Copy !req
580. Thank you.Copy !req
581. - I want to talk about Pootie Tang.
- Public enemy number one.Copy !req
582. We learned that anything
can be addictive.Copy !req
583. We pumped our burgers
so full of MSDCopy !req
584. people can't even taste
real food anymore.Copy !req
585. Today American kids don't eat
because they're hungry.Copy !req
586. They eat because they've just got
to have another Lecter burger.Copy !req
587. I own Pootie's name. I don't need him
to sell my products anymore.Copy !req
588. I've got thousands
of them all over the country.Copy !req
589. I'm just gonna give them the clothes
and this training tape.Copy !req
590. Remember, when making
a public appearanceCopy !req
591. Pootie Tang always struts like this.Copy !req
592. Next week we're opening a brand new
nationwide chain of burger stands.Copy !req
593. Pootie's Bad Time Burgers.Copy !req
594. In fact, the only thing that could mess
it up is if the real Pootie showed up.Copy !req
595. But that ain't good enough.Copy !req
596. I want him dead.Copy !req
597. I'd like to put that bitch in the ground
myself, but I ain't magical.Copy !req
598. I've been trying
to get Pootie for years.Copy !req
599. He's offed all my boys.
All I got left is Froggy.Copy !req
600. Nobody knows where Pootie is.Copy !req
601. I know where he is.Copy !req
602. I got people everywhere. Nobody can
hide from Corporate America.Copy !req
603. And as far as how to beat him...Copy !req
604. Maybe this will help.Copy !req
605. Hello.Copy !req
606. Remember her?
That's Stacy, the sheriff's daughter.Copy !req
607. He's been trying to get her married
since she was 12 years old.Copy !req
608. Hello, is anybody here?Copy !req
609. I'm sorry, I...Copy !req
610. I made you a pie.Copy !req
611. Do you want the pie?Copy !req
612. I know I'm not a pretty girl or...Copy !req
613. or sexy.Copy !req
614. You'd probably like a...Copy !req
615. sexy girl, right?Copy !req
616. Baby...Copy !req
617. I'm gonna sine your pitty on the runny kine.Copy !req
618. That's what makes Pootie Tang
a real hero.Copy !req
619. He can't see a woman
not loving herself.Copy !req
620. He's gonna put the love in.Copy !req
621. I say just give her a compliment.Copy !req
622. I like your shoes.
Have you been working out?Copy !req
623. What you doing with your hair?Copy !req
624. But I tell you what.Copy !req
625. I'm only gonna buy this hero shit,
so many times.Copy !req
626. Meanwhile, back in the city,
all hell was breaking loose.Copy !req
627. I'm talking about drug dealing,
drug using,Copy !req
628. booty shaking, too much damn TV,Copy !req
629. drinking, people eating too much
and getting fat,Copy !req
630. fighting, kids out of school,
ain't nobody reading.Copy !req
631. People acting straight damn fools.Copy !req
632. And Corporate America was loving it.
Look at them, it's a party.Copy !req
633. Since he left, everything just went
bonkers. Everybody lost their mind.Copy !req
634. Pootie Tang, you shouldn't do this.Copy !req
635. Come back to the city
where you belong.Copy !req
636. Back on the farm,
the worst happened.Copy !req
637. Pootie Tang's corn stalk died.Copy !req
638. For the third time in his life, Pootie
lost the only important thing to him.Copy !req
639. First his family, then his belt,
and now his corn died.Copy !req
640. Farm life was driving Pootie crazy.Copy !req
641. He must have lost his damn mind.Copy !req
642. He's down on his knees
crying over a piece of corn.Copy !req
643. Not even popcorn, regular damn corn.Copy !req
644. Pootie Tang had lost hope. It would
take a miracle to bring him back.Copy !req
645. Pootie.Copy !req
646. Pootie Tang.Copy !req
647. Up here, Pootie.Copy !req
648. Hey, watch the leaves.Copy !req
649. Daddy?Copy !req
650. Damn right I'm your Daddy.Copy !req
651. What you doing running away
from your problems?Copy !req
652. Did I teach you like that?Copy !req
653. Don't mumble, boy.Copy !req
654. Pootie, my boy?Copy !req
655. Mama Di.Copy !req
656. Pootie, you're a good man.
I'm proud of you.Copy !req
657. You have so much love in you.
You can give it like a gift.Copy !req
658. Your father was wrong to tell you
to guard it like a secret.Copy !req
659. What was that?Copy !req
660. - Shut your mouth.
- Hey, woman.Copy !req
661. You corn ass fool.Copy !req
662. Pootie, teach the world
right from wrong,Copy !req
663. but love the world at the same time.
That's the key.Copy !req
664. Where's your belt, boy?Copy !req
665. You let the ladies get your belt?
I knew that would happen.Copy !req
666. Now you lost all your confidence.Copy !req
667. I'm here to tell you
there's nothing special about that belt.Copy !req
668. I bought it at Piggly Wiggly
for 95 cents.Copy !req
669. You don't need that belt, cos you got
the goodness in your heart.Copy !req
670. Now go out there and take that
and kick some ass.Copy !req
671. Don't mumble, boy.Copy !req
672. Now go out there, take that goodness,
and teach the world right from wrong.Copy !req
673. I think maybe you and me
got something to talk about.Copy !req
674. I understand you and... Stacy there...
got to know each other.Copy !req
675. Had yourself a little time?Copy !req
676. Yeah!Copy !req
677. That's terrific!Copy !req
678. When's the wedding?Copy !req
679. Like I say, I sure would be mighty
proud to have you for a son-in-law.Copy !req
680. What the hell?Copy !req
681. Pootie Tang!Copy !req
682. Pootie Tang!Copy !req
683. What you doing way out here?Copy !req
684. You know these guys?Copy !req
685. I've come to call you out,
maggot eating bitch.Copy !req
686. You ain't come one,
but many tine tanies.Copy !req
687. I gets by with a little help
from my friends.Copy !req
688. Now, listen here, fellas.
We don't want no trouble here.Copy !req
689. Why don't you just move on through?Copy !req
690. - What's up, papa-in-law?
- Back off there.Copy !req
691. I'm sheriff of this town.Copy !req
692. Hold up, hold up! Rewind that.
Let me see that one more time.Copy !req
693. I'm sheriff of this town.Copy !req
694. That had to hurt his ass.Copy !req
695. I know he's embarrassed.Copy !req
696. Slap him like a bitch.Copy !req
697. He shouldn't have messed
around and got Pootie Tang mad.Copy !req
698. where you think you going?Copy !req
699. Wait! Hold up Pootie.Copy !req
700. Capa-town, my ass.Copy !req
701. You're not so bad now are you?Copy !req
702. Guess you... slapped him like a bitch.Copy !req
703. Yeah.Copy !req
704. Now...Copy !req
705. like I was saying.Copy !req
706. I was searching for Pootie
high and low.Copy !req
707. Then I remembered
he was at the farm.Copy !req
708. All this time I'd been talking about the
farm, how did I forget he was there?Copy !req
709. I got there just in time.Copy !req
710. - Pootie, come back right now.
- What's the dabble, di?Copy !req
711. There's a wedding going on here.Copy !req
712. They're making you sell products,
even when you're not there!Copy !req
713. I'm talking about cigarettes.
And look, Pootie Tang malt liquor.Copy !req
714. They got all these Pootie-a-likes
hawking all this shit.Copy !req
715. And everybody thinks it's you.Copy !req
716. Come back to the city,
so everybody knows the truth.Copy !req
717. Come on.Copy !req
718. All right, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
719. I ain't the marrying type.Copy !req
720. I don't make my bed,
I leave the toilet seat up...Copy !req
721. But she is a lovely lady, though.Copy !req
722. Pootie Tang and I are thrilled
to be opening this,Copy !req
723. the first Pootie Tang Bad Time
Burger restaurant, right Pootie?Copy !req
724. Sa da tay!Copy !req
725. Sa da tay. Got that?Copy !req
726. That ain't Pootie Tang.
That's Doodie Tang.Copy !req
727. That ain't Pootie Tang either.Copy !req
728. I know that ain't Pootie Tang.
I just said it's Doodie Tang.Copy !req
729. Shut up!Copy !req
730. Sepatown, tipi tais.Copy !req
731. Yo sepatown, tipi tais.Copy !req
732. Christ.Copy !req
733. - That's Pootie Tang!
- Wa-da-tah.Copy !req
734. Don't pay attention to him.
That's nobody.Copy !req
735. This is Pootie Tang.Copy !req
736. Yes, I'm Pootie.Copy !req
737. Now, clap it up my hammies...Copy !req
738. rinatine, my America.Copy !req
739. Coola may my...Copy !req
740. You think you've solved the problem?
Guess again.Copy !req
741. See, I got more Pooties than you do.Copy !req
742. You're not only late,
but you're outnumbered.Copy !req
743. By this time tomorrow, there will be
so many Pooties, you won't matter.Copy !req
744. He ain't alone, mister rich man.
I'm here too.Copy !req
745. Pootie! Pootie!Copy !req
746. You looking at my ass?Copy !req
747. You bastards ain't going any place.Copy !req
748. Bye-bye Bad Time.Copy !req
749. All right! I got him, Pootie.Copy !req
750. Capachow!Copy !req
751. Pootie Tang is back!Copy !req
752. Pootie Tang!Copy !req
753. - No, no Pootie.
- I got to say the nay no, my brother.Copy !req
754. What will you do now, Pootie?Copy !req
755. - We're gonna get married.
- Yeah.Copy !req
756. And that's the way it went down.Copy !req
757. Pootie Tang got his man,
and Biggie Shorty got hersCopy !req
758. but not before she handled
one piece of business.Copy !req
759. Oh, hi!Copy !req
760. Man, it is hot today.Copy !req
761. It's hot out here.
It is hot today.Copy !req
762. You know it's hot out.Copy !req
763. Yeah, I just said that.Copy !req
764. You know it's hot too.Copy !req
765. That's why I said it, man.
It is hot out here.Copy !req
766. I know, I'm just saying it's hot too.Copy !req
767. And as for me, Trucky...Copy !req
768. Oh shit, the lasagne!Copy !req
769. Dammit Trucky, I can't believe
you burned that lasagne again.Copy !req
770. That is the longest movie clip
I've ever seen.Copy !req
771. Then you are Pootie Tang.Copy !req
772. Sa da tay!Copy !req
773. Exactly. Pootie Tang,
it's been bettie having you by.Copy !req
774. Bob, I dabe the sammie.Copy !req
775. I dabe the sammie.Copy !req
776. Cole me on the panny sty.Copy !req
777. Sorry, what was that?Copy !req
778. Cole me on the panny sty.Copy !req
779. What the hell are you talking about?Copy !req
780. Cole me down on the panny sty?Copy !req
781. Oh, cole me down on the panny sty.Copy !req
782. All right.
Thank you, Pootie Tang.Copy !req
783. Pootie Tang,
Pootie Tang! I love it.Copy !req
784. He's so sexy,
I love Pootie.Copy !req
785. Cut!Copy !req
786. Pootie Tang got three gold records.Copy !req
787. Pootie gets all the Grammies
because he's Pootie Tang.Copy !req
788. - He's terrific.
- I don't think he's so great.Copy !req
789. Pootie got you now.Copy !req
790. Pootie's about to make reservations
on you now.Copy !req
791. The red phone is blinking!Copy !req
792. It's over for you now.
It's over now for you.Copy !req
793. You know it's over.
He got you in the radar.Copy !req
794. Pootie got you now.
Red phone ringing.Copy !req
795. Man's got to do, I suppose.Copy !req
796. I guess whilst you're gone,
they can't make you do more movies.Copy !req
797. - No more movies!
- Do that line again.Copy !req
798. I'm gonna sine your pitty on the runny kine.Copy !req
799. We don't like no trouble around here.
You know, quiet town.Copy !req
800. You look all right, though.Copy !req
801. A little weird, though, ain't you?Copy !req
802. That's my panny, di.Copy !req
803. 1 suppose so.Copy !req
804. Yeah, baby,
it's time to get dirty.Copy !req
805. I can't hear a word you're saying
because I got earplugs in.Copy !req
806. But I'm tired of talking.Copy !req
807. Everybody run away.
Run, run, run!Copy !req
808. Pootie stays.Copy !req
809. I'm gonna sine your kitty on the sepatown.Copy !req
810. I'm gonna sine your pitty...Copy !req
811. on the runny... kine.Copy !req
812. Pootie did it again.Copy !req
813. Sa da tay!Copy !req