1. How many stars
sparkle in the sky?Copy !req
2. Ever tried counting them?Copy !req
3. It would take 6,000 years to
count those in our galaxy alone.Copy !req
4. How many such galaxies exist?Copy !req
5. Scientists reckon
two billion more.Copy !req
6. Isn't it possible that amongst
these billions of celestial bodiesCopy !req
7. a planet with people
like us exists?Copy !req
8. As we explore space
looking for them,Copy !req
9. couldn't they be coming here,
looking for us?Copy !req
10. Hindi pop song.Copy !req
11. What the thief stole was the
gadget to recall his spaceship.Copy !req
12. Without this remote
he could not return home.Copy !req
13. He neither knew our language,
nor had a friend here.Copy !req
14. Alone, anguished,
his only thought was...Copy !req
15. how will I return home?Copy !req
16. On the pathway of Time
Life is but a brief flame.Copy !req
17. In its luminous mist
We wish, we dream, we exist.Copy !req
18. But on a beautiful bend.Copy !req
19. A stranger may we meet.Copy !req
20. Life after life.Copy !req
21. Whose memory may persist.Copy !req
22. Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?Copy !req
23. - Yes sir...
- I'll take it!Copy !req
24. Sorry, I raised my hand first.Copy !req
25. But I called out firstCopy !req
26. I'm a big fan of
Mr Bachchan, the poetCopy !req
27. I'm a bigger fan of his son,
the actor.Copy !req
28. From age ten, I know all his poems.
Fully memorized.Copy !req
29. From age five, I know his son's
dialogues - without memorizing.Copy !req
30. Hello, who wants it?Copy !req
31. Give me.
Poetry's not his cup of teaCopy !req
32. €100Copy !req
33. €100 for a €40 ticket?
Black market of poetry!Copy !req
34. Queued up
six long hours for this.Copy !req
35. Time is money.Copy !req
36. - Go for the dialogues.
- All yours. Ladies first.Copy !req
37. Just a sec!
Why not split the ticket?Copy !req
38. 1st half you enjoy the poetry.
2nd half I'll savor the acting.Copy !req
39. That's a damn good idea!Copy !req
40. 10, 20, 30, 40Copy !req
41. 50 moreCopy !req
42. - 96
- 96Copy !req
43. €96. How about a discount?
We're from the same country.Copy !req
44. Hail India, bro!Copy !req
45. Long live motherland! €100.Copy !req
46. Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?Copy !req
47. Sir!Copy !req
48. Can I borrow €4? Please!Copy !req
49. Keep my watch till I repay.Copy !req
50. Please, Sir,
it's the last ticket.Copy !req
51. Show is sold out, child.
No tickets left.Copy !req
52. There is one left
with that black marketer.Copy !req
53. Scoundrel!
Giving India a bad name.Copy !req
54. So true!Copy !req
55. Wait here.
I'll get you that ticket.Copy !req
56. OK, Sir.Copy !req
57. Thank you.Copy !req
58. Yes!Copy !req
59. - Sir!
- Do I know you?Copy !req
60. Where's my ticket?Copy !req
61. Ticket? Yours for € 100.Copy !req
62. You bloody cheat!Copy !req
63. Decaying dacoit!
Senile snake! Capitalist!Copy !req
64. Mind your language!Copy !req
65. Mind your coat first!Copy !req
66. - Now enjoy the show!
- Security!Copy !req
67. - Wrinkled wreck!
- Security!Copy !req
68. Let's get outta hereCopy !req
69. I'll get you for this!Copy !req
70. Don't chase me... catch him!Copy !req
71. Oldies these days!
It's a spoilt generation!Copy !req
72. Forget it.Copy !req
73. How can I?Copy !req
74. That bandit basks in poetry
and here I am.Copy !req
75. Drop it.Copy !req
76. Why pine for the party
that shuns us?Copy !req
77. Follow the moment
that beckons usCopy !req
78. I too dabble in poetry.Copy !req
79. It's nice. Go on.Copy !req
80. No. If I go on,
you'll propose to me.Copy !req
81. - You crazy?
- I mean it!Copy !req
82. Your favourite poet,
senior Mr BachchanCopy !req
83. met a lady one morning,
wooed her with verse.Copy !req
84. By dusk they were married.
So I've read.Copy !req
85. Really?Copy !req
86. And boy!
Look what they produced -Copy !req
87. Amitabh Bachchan -
the great actor.Copy !req
88. Jaggu.Copy !req
89. Jaggu?Copy !req
90. My name.Copy !req
91. Papa named me Jagat Janani:
World's motherCopy !req
92. I got mocked at school
so I shortened it - Jaggu.Copy !req
93. - From Mumbai?
- No. DelhiCopy !req
94. I'm studying TV production.Copy !req
95. And you?Copy !req
96. Sarfaraz. I study architectureCopy !req
97. and work part time
at the Pakistan EmbassyCopy !req
98. Pakistan Embassy? Why?Copy !req
99. Well, I'm from Pakistan.Copy !req
100. Unlikely the Indian Embassy
will employ me!Copy !req
101. What's wrong?Copy !req
102. Nothing.Copy !req
103. My being from Pakistan
perturbs you?Copy !req
104. Al right then.Copy !req
105. Goodbye.Copy !req
106. Ask not my name, nor my country.Copy !req
107. From bondage of
borders break free.Copy !req
108. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
109. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
110. Ask not my name, nor my country.Copy !req
111. From bondage of
borders break free.Copy !req
112. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
113. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
114. Past the realms of
word and speech.Copy !req
115. Hand in hand, nowhere to reach.Copy !req
116. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
117. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
118. Past the realms of
word and speech.Copy !req
119. Hand in hand, nowhere to reach.Copy !req
120. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
121. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
122. If the sun scorches the pathway.Copy !req
123. A carpet of shade will I lay.Copy !req
124. If darkness
fills you with dismay.Copy !req
125. I'll conjure up
a moon in the sky.Copy !req
126. If dejection fills up your day.Copy !req
127. With laughter I'll shoo it away.Copy !req
128. Laughing, frolicking,
humming a song.Copy !req
129. Together we shall walk along.Copy !req
130. With you, my fellow traveller.Copy !req
131. Nothing in this world I fear.Copy !req
132. Why a few steps,
a whole lifelong.Copy !req
133. With you I'll walk along.Copy !req
134. Past the realms of
word and speech.Copy !req
135. Hand in hand, nowhere to reach.Copy !req
136. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
137. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
138. - Thank you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
139. Mom!Copy !req
140. Papa!Copy !req
141. She's fallen in love!Copy !req
142. Fallen in love?Copy !req
143. He's so cute!Copy !req
144. More photos please!Copy !req
145. What's his job?
What's his family like?Copy !req
146. Calm down Mom. I'll tell you.Copy !req
147. First, the name.Copy !req
148. SarfarazCopy !req
149. Muslim?Copy !req
150. Yes. Studies architecture.
Family is in PakistanCopy !req
151. Pakistan! Which Pakistan?Copy !req
152. There's just one Pakistan, Mom.Copy !req
153. You'll wear burkhas?Copy !req
154. Read the QURAN?
Have you gone mad?Copy !req
155. Don't you disconnect. Stay put.Copy !req
156. Start the car.Copy !req
157. All's doomed, Your Holiness.
Help!Copy !req
158. I knew exactly
where Papa was headed.Copy !req
159. Since childhood one face had
surrounded us: His Holiness.Copy !req
160. Bye Mom.Copy !req
161. From bags to bathroom walls,Copy !req
162. he was omnipresent.Copy !req
163. Even for a root canal
he would set the auspicious time.Copy !req
164. He had gifted Papa a God box
with a deity for every task.Copy !req
165. Goddess of Wealth
for the stock market.Copy !req
166. God of Health for workouts.Copy !req
167. Web-based worship and
sacred sweets by courierCopy !req
168. were his innovations.Copy !req
169. Hail, Your Holiness.Copy !req
170. Hail, Your Holiness.Copy !req
171. Touch his feet Jaggu.Copy !req
172. Why this fatal infatuation?Copy !req
173. Pick up a pen and writeCopy !req
174. God.Copy !req
175. Enlighten me.Copy !req
176. Yes...Copy !req
177. Yes...Copy !req
178. Your wish is our command.Copy !req
179. Write down the prophecy.Copy !req
180. This Pakistani boy,Copy !req
181. Sarfaraz,Copy !req
182. will betray youCopy !req
183. I know he won't.Copy !req
184. History stands witness:
These people scheme and betray.Copy !req
185. He will pursue carnal pleasures.Copy !req
186. But will never marry you.
He'll vanish.Copy !req
187. Come home now! One more
night there, and you're dead to us.Copy !req
188. Mr Sahni, I'll talk to her.Copy !req
189. Child, hit the delete button.Copy !req
190. Banish him from your system.Copy !req
191. Hello!Copy !req
192. What happened?Copy !req
193. Do you love me?Copy !req
194. Of course I do. Why?Copy !req
195. - Will you marry me?
- What's the matter?Copy !req
196. Yes or no, Sarfaraz?Copy !req
197. - Yes, but...
- Tomorrow.Copy !req
198. Tomorrow?Copy !req
199. Tomorrow we get married.Copy !req
200. His prophecy is wrong.
I'll prove it.Copy !req
201. Mr James Herrick and
Miss Oprah Brown, you're next.Copy !req
202. - James isn't here, yet.
- Oh, talk to the registrar.Copy !req
203. Could you just
hold this please?Copy !req
204. - Yes of course.
- Thank you.Copy !req
205. Hello...Copy !req
206. This is for you.Copy !req
207. - For me?
- Yeah.Copy !req
208. Thank you.Copy !req
209. It was from Sarfaraz.Copy !req
210. He said: Marriage isn't just
between individuals, but families.Copy !req
211. Our faiths, countries,
cultures are different.Copy !req
212. We can never be happy
if our families are unhappy.Copy !req
213. Don't try to contact me.Copy !req
214. I'm sorry.Copy !req
215. Where to go young lady?Copy !req
216. New Delhi.Copy !req
217. I came back to my city, but
my parents refused to see me.Copy !req
218. I joined a news channel
as a reporter.Copy !req
219. Today's story: A depressed dog.Copy !req
220. That's our breaking news!Copy !req
221. Some days we had news,
some days we fabricated itCopy !req
222. God.Copy !req
223. If found, contact Tipsy.Copy !req
224. There's a story in this man.
I'll see you at office.Copy !req
225. Don't be late!Copy !req
226. Excuse me?Copy !req
227. Why are you handing these out?Copy !req
228. I have a case pending with Him.Copy !req
229. He neither solves it,
nor meets me.Copy !req
230. My life is kaput.Copy !req
231. He's gone into hiding.Copy !req
232. Have you seen Him around?Copy !req
233. No.Copy !req
234. Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother.Copy !req
235. Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother.Copy !req
236. By the way,
what's with the helmet?Copy !req
237. Got the idea from taxi-tops.Copy !req
238. Yellow yells out from miles.Copy !req
239. Taxis are spotted
easily in traffic.Copy !req
240. - So?
- So God can spot me easy!Copy !req
241. How else will he spot me
in this crowd?Copy !req
242. A bit to your left - perfect!Copy !req
243. Ok, background?Copy !req
244. Cue Jaggu.Copy !req
245. They say
animals are not suicidal.Copy !req
246. Here's Nikku.
Mr Sweetie Singh's dog.Copy !req
247. Nikku has attempted
suicide thrice.Copy !req
248. Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping
pills, hopping onto a gas burner.Copy !req
249. What's wrong with Nikku?Copy !req
250. Is Nikku prey to a
mental problem?Copy !req
251. Is Nikku...Copy !req
252. What's wrong Jaggu?Copy !req
253. What is this shit, Mitu?Copy !req
254. Our chat with famed industrialist
Mr Ratan continuesCopy !req
255. right after this break.Copy !req
256. Going well, Ratan? Some coffee?Copy !req
257. Get him some coffee.Copy !req
258. - Cherry...
- Oh no!Copy !req
259. What's your guess? This dog has
depression, anxiety disorder,Copy !req
260. schizophrenia, or ADHD?Copy !req
261. Whatever, why would I care?Copy !req
262. Exactly.Copy !req
263. Why would anyone care?
Then why do we air such bull?Copy !req
264. What would you rather air?Copy !req
265. Hold him please.Copy !req
266. See this?Copy !req
267. I met a guy distributing
these pamphlets.Copy !req
268. - He is searching for God.
- Found Him?Copy !req
269. No... but.Copy !req
270. Searching for God - that's religion.
Finding God - that's news.Copy !req
271. If he finds God, get him.
I'll put him on air.Copy !req
272. You know the Company policy.Copy !req
273. No news on religion,
no news on God. Finished.Copy !req
274. Man, you've changed!Copy !req
275. Where's the fighter,
Cherry Bajwa?Copy !req
276. You wanna see the fighter?Copy !req
277. Take a good look.Copy !req
278. There are three marks here.Copy !req
279. These aren't birthmarksCopy !req
280. I ran a show against His Holiness,
your Dad's Guru.Copy !req
281. His devotees shoved a trident
right here in my bum.Copy !req
282. Anchor coming to you
in 10 seconds.Copy !req
283. That day I swore -
if you want to live in this countryCopy !req
284. don't mess with religion.
That's it.Copy !req
285. - I've got a show to run now.
- 5... 4...Copy !req
286. 3...Copy !req
287. 2...Copy !req
288. 1...Copy !req
289. Welcome back from the break.Copy !req
290. We were chatting with
famed industrialist Mr Ratan...Copy !req
291. The boss killed my story.Copy !req
292. But it came back to life
two weeks later.Copy !req
293. Stop! Thief!Copy !req
294. He's stealing
from the donation box!Copy !req
295. Don't let him go!Copy !req
296. Lifting from the
donation box, you fool?Copy !req
297. Yes.Copy !req
298. He's no thief!Copy !req
299. While donating
my wallet fell in the box.Copy !req
300. He was getting it out for me.Copy !req
301. Trust me.Copy !req
302. Check for yourself.
It has Rs 5,000 in it.Copy !req
303. - That's mine!
- It was.Copy !req
304. Once in the box, it's donated.Copy !req
305. Now, it's God's. Let them go.Copy !req
306. Dude, what the hell
were you up to?Copy !req
307. Claiming my refundCopy !req
308. God took His fee
but didn't deliver.Copy !req
309. Hang on...Copy !req
310. I saw you fish out some money,
then put some back inCopy !req
311. I took back what I'd paid
at this branch. Returned the rest.Copy !req
312. You used to wear
beads and amulets?Copy !req
313. Rejected. Gone for good.Copy !req
314. Why the stickers then?Copy !req
315. Self-defense!Copy !req
316. God pics on walls - prevent peeingCopy !req
317. on face - prevent punches.Copy !req
318. Mitu, where are you?Copy !req
319. Pick me up.
I've no money to get homeCopy !req
320. I'll fill you in laterCopy !req
321. I'm at Mudrika,
outside the temple.Copy !req
322. Hurry. Thanks, bye.Copy !req
323. Here you go.Copy !req
324. - For what?
- For the ride home.Copy !req
325. When someone can't
get home, I feel sad.Copy !req
326. - Wait.
- That's all I hadCopy !req
327. I can't accept this.Copy !req
328. - Why?
- Won't you need it to get home?Copy !req
329. Money can't get me home.Copy !req
330. Why? Where do you live?Copy !req
331. In the step-well ruins.Copy !req
332. But in this rainy season,
I check into a lock-up.Copy !req
333. Lock-up! As in police lock-up?Copy !req
334. There are 122 in the city.
I yo-yo between them.Copy !req
335. And they let you check in,
like a hotel?Copy !req
336. Come. I'll give you a demo.Copy !req
337. Just watch!Copy !req
338. Hey, copper - look here proper!Copy !req
339. I'll show you proper!Copy !req
340. Jaggu!Copy !req
341. We have to follow that van.Copy !req
342. - Who are we chasing?
- A story.Copy !req
343. Gimme your wallet. I need cash.Copy !req
344. Hurry! Thanks. Bye.Copy !req
345. Excuse me?Copy !req
346. Yes?Copy !req
347. I want to go inside the lock-up.Copy !req
348. Why?Copy !req
349. To meet that guy.Copy !req
350. You think this is the
local coffee joint, huh?Copy !req
351. Saunter in and chillax
with your buddies?Copy !req
352. This is a lock-up, get it?Copy !req
353. Only offenders get in.Copy !req
354. Bribing is an of fence!Copy !req
355. That's why I'm committing it!Copy !req
356. I can lock you in.Copy !req
357. Please do... ASAP!Copy !req
358. - Thank you, Mr Pandey.
- One hour, that's it.Copy !req
359. HiCopy !req
360. I want your story.
Will you share it?Copy !req
361. Why?Copy !req
362. I'm a TV reporter. It's my job.Copy !req
363. - Go on, ask.
- Awesome!Copy !req
364. Your name?Copy !req
365. Don't have a name.Copy !req
366. They call me Tipsy here.
Beats me why.Copy !req
367. And what do you do?Copy !req
368. I'm an astronaut.Copy !req
369. Astronaut!Copy !req
370. Those who shoot off
to the moon?Copy !req
371. Been there once. It's kaput.Copy !req
372. Sure!Copy !req
373. So what's your favourite planet?Copy !req
374. - My own.
- I meant besides Earth?Copy !req
375. Earth is mega-kaputCopy !req
376. I meant my own planet.Copy !req
377. It'll show up there at night.Copy !req
378. We went bananas,Copy !req
379. when we found another planet
with people like usCopy !req
380. I was sent here
on a research mission.Copy !req
381. Boy, what a welcome I got!Copy !req
382. My remote got robbed.Copy !req
383. Without it,
I can't signal my peopleCopy !req
384. and without a signal
they won't come for me.Copy !req
385. They'll think
it's a perilous planet.Copy !req
386. That I'm dead as a dodo.Copy !req
387. Hello!Copy !req
388. - Listen...
- What?Copy !req
389. Let me out. I want to go home.Copy !req
390. Your Highness, convicts
don't decide that. Cops doCopy !req
391. I'm not a thief.Copy !req
392. So say all the thieves.Copy !req
393. Where's officer Pandey?Copy !req
394. Out on his rounds.Copy !req
395. Officer Pandey!Copy !req
396. Officer Pandey!Copy !req
397. Shut up, or you get
a knuckle sandwich.Copy !req
398. You think I'm talking baloney?Copy !req
399. Obviously!Copy !req
400. Is Hindi the official language
of your planet?Copy !req
401. On our planet...Copy !req
402. there's no language!Copy !req
403. We read minds.
There's no confusion.Copy !req
404. Here, you utter something
and mean something else.Copy !req
405. A two-letter word can have
four different meanings.Copy !req
406. When you nod and say "oh",
it means "Oh, that's cool".Copy !req
407. When your eyes pop out,
"oh!" means bad news.Copy !req
408. "Your mother-in-law
is moving in."Oh!"Copy !req
409. When angry, you thunder.Copy !req
410. "Oh! You'll pay
for that blunder!"Copy !req
411. And when your thought is deep,
your "oh" is long!Copy !req
412. "Ohhhhhhh! I see!"Copy !req
413. As you hear the words,
you gotta watch the expressionCopy !req
414. to get the real meaning.Copy !req
415. It's torture!
Took full 6 hours to learn Hindi.Copy !req
416. A whole language in 6 hours?Copy !req
417. No one let me hold hands.Copy !req
418. Finally, a nice lady
lent her handCopy !req
419. I held it and transferred
her language into my system.Copy !req
420. Man, there's no limit
to your whoppers!Copy !req
421. Is your hand a USB cable,Copy !req
422. that transfers files
between computers?Copy !req
423. And your clothes? Are faded jeans
the rage on your planet too?Copy !req
424. Noooo!Copy !req
425. On our planet...Copy !req
426. no one wears clothes.
There we go bare.Copy !req
427. Here, at first I thoughtCopy !req
428. your skins were
different from ours.Copy !req
429. Some had sparkly hides,Copy !req
430. some jet black.Copy !req
431. Some hides were colourful,
some white.Copy !req
432. Some hides sticky-tight,
some baggy.Copy !req
433. Then one day I found a car.Copy !req
434. A dancing car.Copy !req
435. That day I realized
our skins were the sameCopy !req
436. but yours are covered
with a thing called fashion.Copy !req
437. Radio Commercial.Copy !req
438. Now I could mingle.Copy !req
439. Yet I was mocked.Copy !req
440. Look here -
half man, half woman!Copy !req
441. Slowly I got it.Copy !req
442. There's man - fashion
and woman - fashion.Copy !req
443. There was day fashion...Copy !req
444. and night fashion.Copy !req
445. Sporting fashion...Copy !req
446. and serving fashion.Copy !req
447. With the clothes,
I found some photos.Copy !req
448. It hit me - these photos
meant survival.Copy !req
449. You could swap them for food.Copy !req
450. So I built a portfolio
of this old man's photos.Copy !req
451. What's this?Copy !req
452. What are these for?Copy !req
453. Why are you giving me
this junk?Copy !req
454. Right! Now we're talking!Copy !req
455. Here you go.Copy !req
456. I got it: This photo had value
on just one kind of paper.Copy !req
457. On any other paper,
it was worthless.Copy !req
458. For cash and clothes,
dancing cars were widely available.Copy !req
459. They were my bank,
they were my tailor!Copy !req
460. Once, I got
such magnetic attireCopy !req
461. that no photos were needed.Copy !req
462. Food was pulled to me.Copy !req
463. For you, Sir.Copy !req
464. Now, to find my remote, I had to
learn this planet's language.Copy !req
465. Without it,
every task was a trial.Copy !req
466. Like telling this gentlemanCopy !req
467. there was a defect
in his fashion.Copy !req
468. I felt I had spoilt his fashion.Copy !req
469. So I put it back where it was.Copy !req
470. Found him on the road.Copy !req
471. Some scum bag hit him and bolted.Copy !req
472. Seems pretty okay,Copy !req
473. but isn't responding.Copy !req
474. Has his eardrum
called it a day?Copy !req
475. Are you deaf?Copy !req
476. Can hear al right,
but isn't talking.Copy !req
477. Seems in a state of shock.Copy !req
478. Memory loss, I'm afraid.Copy !req
479. Remember the scum bag
who hit you?Copy !req
480. Remember the license plate?Copy !req
481. Remember anything at all?Copy !req
482. Come my friend. Come with me.Copy !req
483. Be my guest till you
get your memory back.Copy !req
484. Keep slamming your head.Copy !req
485. One knock took your memory away,
another might bring it back.Copy !req
486. Seen it in the movies.Copy !req
487. To figure what he was
yapping about,Copy !req
488. I had to hold his hand
and transfer his language.Copy !req
489. Hey!Copy !req
490. With memory loss your gender
sense went for a toss?Copy !req
491. Wait a moment...Copy !req
492. See this - my license.Copy !req
493. MALECopy !req
494. Man...Copy !req
495. rogue, rascal, scum bag.Copy !req
496. To return home
I had to hold someone's hand.Copy !req
497. Here comes my zany guest.Copy !req
498. Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all.Copy !req
499. Here comes my zany guest.Copy !req
500. Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all.Copy !req
501. Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!Copy !req
502. Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge.Copy !req
503. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
504. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
505. Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far.Copy !req
506. From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar.Copy !req
507. Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far.Copy !req
508. From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar.Copy !req
509. What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?Copy !req
510. What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?Copy !req
511. What's the zip code
Of your abode.Copy !req
512. Did you alight from a cloud
Or sprout from underground.Copy !req
513. Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!Copy !req
514. Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge.Copy !req
515. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
516. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
517. This memory loss is a blessing.Copy !req
518. This memory loss is a blessing.Copy !req
519. Feuds forgotten
lenders left guessing.Copy !req
520. Lovable lad.Copy !req
521. Innocent lad.Copy !req
522. Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge.Copy !req
523. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
524. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
525. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
526. Here comes the lusty lad!Copy !req
527. Here comes the lusty lad!Copy !req
528. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fadCopy !req
529. I feel your pain, bro.Copy !req
530. But don't go grabbing hands.Copy !req
531. You may end up in bed,
but most likely a hospital bed.Copy !req
532. Don't give up,
I know place for you.Copy !req
533. Hand, foot - hold whatever.Copy !req
534. No one will bash you here.Copy !req
535. Come.Copy !req
536. What a neighbourhood!
Virtuous, welcoming women.Copy !req
537. All reaching for my hand,
inviting me home.Copy !req
538. Here I met a serene and
gentle woman, Pepper.Copy !req
539. Pepper, take him
to the honeymoon suite.Copy !req
540. Pepper sat patiently all night.Copy !req
541. For full 6 hours,
I transferred her language files.Copy !req
542. ABC - XYZ, I drew in everything.Copy !req
543. First time? Kaput before you kicked off?Copy !req
544. Y... y... yes!Copy !req
545. Where are you from?Copy !req
546. Far, far away.Copy !req
547. From an unheard of village.Copy !req
548. But you speak my lingo!Copy !req
549. Because I learnt it from you,
Sister.Copy !req
550. Sister! You think
this is a convent? Out!Copy !req
551. Bro!Copy !req
552. Bro, wake up!Copy !req
553. Bro, wake up!Copy !req
554. Bro!Copy !req
555. You're talking!Copy !req
556. Bro, I need your help.Copy !req
557. Pepper cleared up your throat!Copy !req
558. Bro, come with me quick.Copy !req
559. Memory and making out
have a direct connection!Copy !req
560. Update the docs:
Get laid, get well!Copy !req
561. It's urgent, bro!Copy !req
562. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
563. Stop... stop!Copy !req
564. Stop, bro!Copy !req
565. The jerk robbed me right hereCopy !req
566. I need my chain, bro.
I must get it back.Copy !req
567. - Precious?
- It's priceless!Copy !req
568. The thief must be a local.Copy !req
569. But he'll sell
the loot in Delhi.Copy !req
570. If he sold pricey stuff here,
he'd get caught.Copy !req
571. Then I must go.Copy !req
572. Where?Copy !req
573. Delhi.Copy !req
574. - Officer!
- Yeah?Copy !req
575. - My remote control is stolen.
- Are you tipsy?Copy !req
576. Expect the police force
to track your TV remote?Copy !req
577. - It's not a TV remote!
- Then?Copy !req
578. Can't tell you.
But it's like a chain.Copy !req
579. Really precious.Copy !req
580. - Where was it stolen?
- In Mandawa.Copy !req
581. And you're searching
in Delhi, you idiot?Copy !req
582. The thief came to Delhi.Copy !req
583. - So?
- So where's the thief?Copy !req
584. Blockhead!
It's a city of 15 million.Copy !req
585. Police are human, not God.Copy !req
586. Only God can help you.Copy !req
587. Surrender to God,
you'll succeed.Copy !req
588. Only God knows.Copy !req
589. Ask God, not me!Copy !req
590. Trust in God, my child.Copy !req
591. Who was this God chap?
All said only He could help.Copy !req
592. What I saw blew my mind.Copy !req
593. Earthlings had figured out
who had manufactured them!Copy !req
594. Their creator lived with them.
He had millions of houses.Copy !req
595. Earthlings took their problems to Him,
which He solved for a small fee.Copy !req
596. My planet had no such facility.Copy !req
597. I could not believe it!
So decided to test it.Copy !req
598. One take-away God.Copy !req
599. Which one? Rs 20, 50, 100, 500?Copy !req
600. Any difference?
In the Rs 20 and Rs 500 ones?Copy !req
601. Just the size. Otherwise ditto.Copy !req
602. Rs 20 God is equally efficient?Copy !req
603. OK, gimme Rs15! Nothing lessCopy !req
604. God, I am famished.
Get me some food please.Copy !req
605. I went bananas.Copy !req
606. God actually worked!
Now I could go homeCopy !req
607. God, my remote is stolen.Copy !req
608. Please find it.
I want to go home.Copy !req
609. God's battery died.
Worked once, then kaput.Copy !req
610. What do you mean?Copy !req
611. Stick a new battery in.
Where does it go?Copy !req
612. - It needs no battery.
- Then why is it off?Copy !req
613. - Manufacturing defect?
- I make no defective stuff.Copy !req
614. - You made this God?
- Of course! With my own hands.Copy !req
615. You made God, or God made you?Copy !req
616. He made us all -
I only make His statues.Copy !req
617. Why the statues?Copy !req
618. To worship Him.
To voice our problems.Copy !req
619. Is there a transmitter inside?
How can He hear us?Copy !req
620. God needs no transmitter.
He hears directly.Copy !req
621. Directly? Then why the statue?Copy !req
622. What's with him?Copy !req
623. Want to bust my business?
What's your problem?Copy !req
624. My remote is stolen, SirCopy !req
625. I'm requesting God.
But He doesn't reply.Copy !req
626. - Are you tipsy?
- Meaning?Copy !req
627. You're overloading
this pint-sized God.Copy !req
628. His itty-bitty feet
can't chase the thief.Copy !req
629. Bother the big God
inside the temple.Copy !req
630. He'll run fast.Copy !req
631. Offer Him coconut and money -
He'll deliver.Copy !req
632. That'll be Rs 200.Copy !req
633. Earthlings waited with fees
to get their work done.Copy !req
634. Full 2 hours later
I got the appointmentCopy !req
635. God,Copy !req
636. please get my remote back.Copy !req
637. - Where is it?
- Move!Copy !req
638. Wait,
He didn't deliver my stuff.Copy !req
639. He didn't deliver!
See, I paid His fee.Copy !req
640. - Your work will be done.
- But when?Copy !req
641. Can't say when,
but it will be done.Copy !req
642. - Move on.
- But when will I get it?Copy !req
643. Don't block the line, scram!Copy !req
644. If I scram,
someone else may get it.Copy !req
645. Are you tipsy?Copy !req
646. Lady, please!
Where will I get my stuff?Copy !req
647. At the mental hospital!Copy !req
648. What? Cash here,
delivery at mental hospital!Copy !req
649. - Throw him out!
- OK, give me a receipt.Copy !req
650. Out!Copy !req
651. Without a receipt
how do I claim my delivery?Copy !req
652. Get out!Copy !req
653. But my remote?Copy !req
654. Leave!Copy !req
655. I can't find my shoes.Copy !req
656. Someone's taken them.
Now you take your pick.Copy !req
657. Rotation is routine at temples.Copy !req
658. He took the payment,
didn't deliver.Copy !req
659. What's his name?Copy !req
660. - They call Him God.
- Real name?Copy !req
661. No idea.Copy !req
662. Where does he live?Copy !req
663. In that temple.Copy !req
664. - You handed him the cash?
- No. Put it in His box.Copy !req
665. - Said he'd do the job?
- He says nothing.Copy !req
666. Is he mute?Copy !req
667. Perhaps... maybe.Copy !req
668. Oh...Copy !req
669. Describe him.Copy !req
670. Ditto.Copy !req
671. But a bigger chap.Copy !req
672. Come near...Copy !req
673. Are you tipsy?Copy !req
674. Yes. How do you all know?Copy !req
675. Think I'm a jackass?
20 years a cop!Copy !req
676. Who's tipsy who's not
I can tell in a snap.Copy !req
677. Frisk him.Copy !req
678. Let me have a look.Copy !req
679. Dr D'Mello...Copy !req
680. Doc, why get so buzzed
you forget your faith?Copy !req
681. Mistook temple for a church!
Wanna rouse a riot?Copy !req
682. Go to church. To your own God.Copy !req
683. Church?Copy !req
684. Get out of here.Copy !req
685. My stuff! My remote!Copy !req
686. God was crucified for your sins.
Ungrateful man!Copy !req
687. Crucified! When?Copy !req
688. 2,000 years ago. For your sins!Copy !req
689. What did I do? I just got here.Copy !req
690. - Are you tipsy?
- Yes!Copy !req
691. God is watching you. Behave.Copy !req
692. Where?Copy !req
693. Where is God?Copy !req
694. What's in the mug?Copy !req
695. Wine.Copy !req
696. Wine! Now I got it!Copy !req
697. God was bored of coconut water.Copy !req
698. Now He preferred wine.
But wine was expensive.Copy !req
699. So I had to muster money.Copy !req
700. I got some from the dancing car,
some from a gentlemanCopy !req
701. who held out a bowl
of dole everyday.Copy !req
702. You could withdraw as per need.Copy !req
703. Sir, any God house around here?Copy !req
704. Right there.Copy !req
705. Preacher, let me drink
in God's abode.Copy !req
706. Or show me a place
where there is no God.Copy !req
707. Stop! What's that?Copy !req
708. Wine, for God.Copy !req
709. Where is He?Copy !req
710. This lady looked very sad.Copy !req
711. To know why, I grabbed her hand.Copy !req
712. Hitting on a widow, you lech!Copy !req
713. Widow? How do you know?Copy !req
714. Don't you see
she's clad in white?Copy !req
715. Is everything fine?Copy !req
716. Everything is fine.Copy !req
717. Just relax. Smile.Copy !req
718. So sorry your husband's dead.Copy !req
719. - What?
- When?Copy !req
720. How do I know?
You are clad in white.Copy !req
721. Brides wear white!Copy !req
722. No, widows wear white.Copy !req
723. Widows wear black, stupid!Copy !req
724. Now don't stress her out. Go!Copy !req
725. All three lost your husbands?Copy !req
726. I'm alive you moron!
Want a whack?Copy !req
727. After many whacks, I learntCopy !req
728. there wasn't one God.
There were many Gods.Copy !req
729. Each with His own set of rules.Copy !req
730. Each God had floated
His own Company.Copy !req
731. They called it religion.Copy !req
732. Each Company had its own agents.Copy !req
733. All Earthlings belonged to
some religionCopy !req
734. and followed the God
of that religion alone.Copy !req
735. What was my religion,
who was my God?Copy !req
736. To find the remote
I had to know my God.Copy !req
737. What are you doing?Copy !req
738. Where is the label?Copy !req
739. What label?Copy !req
740. The Religion label.Copy !req
741. How do you know which
Company he belongs to?Copy !req
742. Where does God label them?Copy !req
743. Security!Copy !req
744. Finding my religion was tough.Copy !req
745. So I decided to
worship all Gods.Copy !req
746. One of them would be
my God, who'd help me.Copy !req
747. It's You who governs
The world I hear.Copy !req
748. Do listen to my plea
My home beckons me.Copy !req
749. God where are You.Copy !req
750. Tell me where are You.Copy !req
751. You guide back to sanity
Those who've lost their way.Copy !req
752. I too am completely lost
Guide me too, I pray.Copy !req
753. God where are You.Copy !req
754. Tell me where are You.Copy !req
755. Shall I worship You in temples.Copy !req
756. In mosques do my faith I show.Copy !req
757. Or to a gurudwara
would You like me to go.Copy !req
758. Temples and churches,
I looked everywhere.Copy !req
759. My hope now,
has turned to despair.Copy !req
760. My hope now,
has turned to despair.Copy !req
761. My hope now,
has turned to despair.Copy !req
762. Not a single ritual
Did I ever flout.Copy !req
763. Like millions around
I submit without a doubt.Copy !req
764. God where are You.Copy !req
765. Tell me where are You.Copy !req
766. You have many names
And many faces too.Copy !req
767. I've walked each of the myriad
paths which lead to You.Copy !req
768. In no shrine did I find You.Copy !req
769. What else should I do
To find you give a clue.Copy !req
770. What else should I do
To find you give a clue.Copy !req
771. What else should I do
To find you give a clue.Copy !req
772. I blindly follow and
With reverence treasure.Copy !req
773. Your every whim and fancy
In more than ample measure.Copy !req
774. God where are you.Copy !req
775. Tell me where are you.Copy !req
776. God where are you.Copy !req
777. Tell me where are youCopy !req
778. God - I'm all confused.Copy !req
779. What's my fault?
Why can't my voice reach you?Copy !req
780. Understand my plight.Copy !req
781. Give me some guidance.Copy !req
782. Please.Copy !req
783. Shall I talk to you
with hands clasped,Copy !req
784. or on bent knees,
head to the ground?Copy !req
785. Do I wake you
with temple bells?Copy !req
786. Or call out on a loudspeaker?Copy !req
787. The Geeta, the Quran,
the Bible - what do I read?Copy !req
788. Your different managers
say different things.Copy !req
789. Some insist fast on Monday,
others urge on Tuesday.Copy !req
790. Some forbid food after sunset,
some after sunrise.Copy !req
791. Some say, worship the cow.
Others say slaughter her.Copy !req
792. Some send me barefoot to the temple,
some wearing shoes to the church.Copy !req
793. What is right, what is wrongCopy !req
794. I am cluelessCopy !req
795. I'm at breaking pointCopy !req
796. I want to go homeCopy !req
797. I'll do whatever you ask.
Just get me home.Copy !req
798. Please.Copy !req
799. Say something.Copy !req
800. At least one of you...Copy !req
801. give me some answer.Copy !req
802. Please.Copy !req
803. Please.Copy !req
804. Please.Copy !req
805. God.Copy !req
806. God.Copy !req
807. God.Copy !req
808. Why the lock man?Copy !req
809. I gotcha today.Copy !req
810. Open! It's my entry!Copy !req
811. Lord Shiva, slayer of sinsCopy !req
812. who fears none.Copy !req
813. Security! Who are you?Copy !req
814. Don't you recognize me?Copy !req
815. I'm Tipsy!Copy !req
816. Where the hell is security?Copy !req
817. Do I perform
for boozards in the toilet?Copy !req
818. Unlock that door now!Copy !req
819. My remote first!Copy !req
820. - What remote?
- Of my spaceship.Copy !req
821. Space... ship?Copy !req
822. Memory loss?
For the zillionth time,Copy !req
823. I'm not from here.
I'm from a far off planet.Copy !req
824. Scooch!Copy !req
825. Gimme my remote,
and I go home. Got it?Copy !req
826. Brother let me go.
I've little kids at homeCopy !req
827. I know! You fathered two Gods.Copy !req
828. Both are centuries old.
They can be home alone.Copy !req
829. First my remote,
then your family reunion.Copy !req
830. Oh God, save me please...Copy !req
831. There's a God above you too?Copy !req
832. Lord Shiva, help.Copy !req
833. Where?Copy !req
834. Now presenting the dance of Shiva,
the fearless.Copy !req
835. Help!Copy !req
836. Help!Copy !req
837. Help!Copy !req
838. Help!Copy !req
839. Help!Copy !req
840. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
841. Hail Lord ShivaCopy !req
842. I was meditating on the
snowy peaks of the HimalayasCopy !req
843. when, suddenly - light!Copy !req
844. Dazzling light!Copy !req
845. It came from a bead
lying in the snowCopy !req
846. I shut my eyes and invoked God.Copy !req
847. Next moment, I was connectedCopy !req
848. I said, "God, enlighten me,".Copy !req
849. What is this miraculous object,Copy !req
850. that is warm
even in this biting cold?Copy !req
851. God said,Copy !req
852. it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace.Copy !req
853. Take it and enshrine it
in a grand temple.Copy !req
854. Sighting this bead
will heal all suffering.Copy !req
855. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
856. Are you ready for the sighting?Copy !req
857. The divine bead from
Lord Shiva's necklace!Copy !req
858. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
859. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
860. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
861. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
862. Stop.Copy !req
863. Let him through.
He's awed by the sight.Copy !req
864. - Come.
- Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
865. Not there child. Come here.Copy !req
866. Express your ecstasy.Copy !req
867. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
868. Hail Lord ShivaCopy !req
869. God, where are you?
Please step out,Copy !req
870. I want to thank you.Copy !req
871. He's right hereCopy !req
872. I met Him in the toiletCopy !req
873. I asked for my property
and He boltedCopy !req
874. I thought He vamoosed.Copy !req
875. But no!
He led me to my property.Copy !req
876. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
877. This isn't Lord Shiva's bead.Copy !req
878. It's my property,
misdelivered to you.Copy !req
879. Your bead must be
misdelivered too.Copy !req
880. Ask God, He is right here.
God, do step forward, clarify.Copy !req
881. Anyway, I'll take my property.Copy !req
882. That's mine!
Why're you stopping me?Copy !req
883. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
884. Since when have you felt
you're from another planet?Copy !req
885. Listen. You need to see
a psychiatrist.Copy !req
886. Time up! Rs 500 can buy
only this much jail time.Copy !req
887. Here's my card.Copy !req
888. My number's on it. I'll get you
an appointment if you wish.Copy !req
889. Feel free to call. Okay?Copy !req
890. Take care.Copy !req
891. Thank you officer Pandey.Copy !req
892. You don't believe my story?Copy !req
893. Then go back to
the suicidal dog, Nikku.Copy !req
894. That's the story for youCopy !req
895. I need to go back in
for 2 minutes.Copy !req
896. Quit these entry - exits.Copy !req
897. Another Rs 500, he's all yours.Copy !req
898. When did I mention Nikku,
the suicidal dog?Copy !req
899. You didn't.Copy !req
900. So how do you know?Copy !req
901. When you held my hands,
I read your thoughts.Copy !req
902. You thought: This story is deadCopy !req
903. I got to live with the
Nikku story.Copy !req
904. Don't lie!
I must have mentioned itCopy !req
905. I cannot lie.
Lies need language.Copy !req
906. On our planet
we hold hands, read minds.Copy !req
907. - Gimme your hand.
- No way.Copy !req
908. - Try it...
- Help me, son.Copy !req
909. My wife's ill. Hospital wants
a deposit of Rs 10,000Copy !req
910. I'm Rs 500 short.
If you can help...Copy !req
911. I'll give you.Copy !req
912. Here.Copy !req
913. Give your address.
I'll courier a check.Copy !req
914. Courier can't reach my home.
Please keep it.Copy !req
915. Thank you.Copy !req
916. Sir...Copy !req
917. Here's another Rs 100.
For the tip.Copy !req
918. Bless you.Copy !req
919. Confirmed.
You are no mind reader.Copy !req
920. You got conned.
There is no hospital around hereCopy !req
921. I know!Copy !req
922. He's gifting his wife
a five star dinner.Copy !req
923. It's her 75th birthday.Copy !req
924. She'd never been
to a fancy place.Copy !req
925. He's been saving from
his pension for months.Copy !req
926. She ordered ice-cream
and his budget went kaput.Copy !req
927. With a restroom excuse,
he ran out for some bucks.Copy !req
928. Another yarn!Copy !req
929. On our planet, we don't lie.Copy !req
930. Anyway, it's up to you.Copy !req
931. - Here.
- Thank you Sir.Copy !req
932. One moment. Tip him.Copy !req
933. Why hold back -
it's your birthday!Copy !req
934. Thank you.Copy !req
935. Step-well ruinsCopy !req
936. I told you.
On my planet, we don't lie.Copy !req
937. Hope you haven't told anyone...Copy !req
938. that you're an alien?Copy !req
939. No way!Copy !req
940. They'd lock me in a lab,
and rip me up for research!Copy !req
941. How come you told me?Copy !req
942. Ever since
I set foot on this planetCopy !req
943. everyone has taken
money from me.Copy !req
944. You were the first to give it up
for me - dumping Rs 5,000 in a boxCopy !req
945. I thought you are a good egg.
I could trust youCopy !req
946. I'll get your remote back, Tipsy.Copy !req
947. How?Copy !req
948. I haven't figured it out yet,
but you'll go back home.Copy !req
949. That's my promise.Copy !req
950. What are you goggling at?Copy !req
951. You.Copy !req
952. Aliens don't drop by everyday.Copy !req
953. Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?Copy !req
954. Yup, ditto.Copy !req
955. And they roam around naked?
Isn't it weird?Copy !req
956. That crow is naked -
does he look weird?Copy !req
957. If he dons a tie,
he'd look weird.Copy !req
958. Tipsy, I was awake all night...Copy !req
959. thinking how to get
your remote back.Copy !req
960. Hello.Copy !req
961. Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4.Copy !req
962. Wrong number.Copy !req
963. Isn't this Fortis Hospital?Copy !req
964. Since yesterday you've been
dialing this wrong number.Copy !req
965. Impossible!
I can't be wrong every time!Copy !req
966. So how do we get the remote?Copy !req
967. Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4.Copy !req
968. Sorry, Sir.
You've called too late.Copy !req
969. Balbir died this morning.Copy !req
970. Huh! How can a
piles surgery be fatal?Copy !req
971. Embarrassing, but don't worry.Copy !req
972. Death Certificate
will say heart attackCopy !req
973. so the family saves face.Copy !req
974. - Come for the body.
- On my way.Copy !req
975. Ok, bye.Copy !req
976. Why did you say that?Copy !req
977. Doling out joy.Copy !req
978. When he finds his friend alive,
imagine his joy!Copy !req
979. What!Copy !req
980. I was sick of his calls.
So I played a prank.Copy !req
981. - A prank?
- Tipsy, I was just kidding!Copy !req
982. I got it!Copy !req
983. Someone is playing pranks.Copy !req
984. When His Holiness dials God,Copy !req
985. cocking his head,
'God, enlighten me',Copy !req
986. his calls are going
to a Wrong Number.Copy !req
987. Someone out there plays pranks.Copy !req
988. The real God won't call
my remote a bead.Copy !req
989. Looks like the phone lines
to God have gone kaput.Copy !req
990. All calls to God are going
to a Wrong Number!Copy !req
991. As in?Copy !req
992. Think - would the real God
give such weird solutions?Copy !req
993. Like - come rolling to me,
then I'll help you!Copy !req
994. Aren't we God's children?Copy !req
995. Would a father make his kids
roll for help?Copy !req
996. Your Dad ever said - kiddo,
want a new dress? Start rolling!Copy !req
997. Another prank - bathe me
with cow's milk! What bull!Copy !req
998. And if these calls went to
the real God, what would He say?Copy !req
999. He'd say - millions of my children
are starving on streets.Copy !req
1000. Give them milk.
Don't give me a lactose showerCopy !req
1001. I'm sure someone's playing
pranks, like you just did.Copy !req
1002. Tipsy thought His Holiness
was a victim of pranks.Copy !req
1003. I didn't clear his confusionCopy !req
1004. for a crazy idea was
forming in my head.Copy !req
1005. An idea that would
get back Tipsy's remote.Copy !req
1006. Who's this Tipsy?Copy !req
1007. That's a mystery.Copy !req
1008. But the way he sees
this world is unique.Copy !req
1009. - As in?
- If he saw you smoking,Copy !req
1010. he'd call the cops to say
you're attempting suicide.Copy !req
1011. Why?Copy !req
1012. The pack says 'Smoking Kills'
yet you puff away.Copy !req
1013. So what's the big idea?Copy !req
1014. Face-off.Copy !req
1015. Between Tipsy and His Holiness.Copy !req
1016. We'll take the face-off to TV.Copy !req
1017. Ratings will go
through the roof!Copy !req
1018. I have three trident marks
on my right bum.Copy !req
1019. You want three more on my
left for balance?Copy !req
1020. Don't worry.Copy !req
1021. Tipsy won't fight His Holiness
but gently explain, that...Copy !req
1022. his calls to God are going to
a Wrong Number.Copy !req
1023. His Holiness will be stumped.Copy !req
1024. Cherry!Copy !req
1025. Tipsy's here.
Just meet him onceCopy !req
1026. I bet his queries
will baffle you.Copy !req
1027. Trust me. Please!Copy !req
1028. Excuse me, you dropped this.Copy !req
1029. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
1030. That's not mine.Copy !req
1031. Kamasutra condoms,
strawberry flavorCopy !req
1032. I hate strawberries, man.
Ask these guys.Copy !req
1033. It's not mine. Buzzed bozo!Copy !req
1034. - Ma'am, yours?
- How dare you!Copy !req
1035. - Check your purse if it's missing.
- Shameless lad!Copy !req
1036. - Has to be yours.
- No, not mine.Copy !req
1037. Tipsy, it's his.Copy !req
1038. Ask him all you want
to know about it. Come on in.Copy !req
1039. What's this?Copy !req
1040. It's a condom.Copy !req
1041. - What does it do?
- Controls the world's population.Copy !req
1042. How?Copy !req
1043. It has to be worn
while having sex.Copy !req
1044. How does your wearing it
control the world's population?Copy !req
1045. Not just me... millions wear it.Copy !req
1046. They all borrow it from you?Copy !req
1047. No. Everyone has it.Copy !req
1048. - I've a question.
- Go on Tipsy, shoot.Copy !req
1049. If money is dropped,
all run for it.Copy !req
1050. If a condom is dropped,
all run away from it. Why?Copy !req
1051. Sex is a very private matter.Copy !req
1052. Why?Copy !req
1053. You don't tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today.Copy !req
1054. But, then at weddings,
with fireworks and music bandsCopy !req
1055. why do they tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today?Copy !req
1056. What's the matter?Copy !req
1057. I have no answer for you
but I have a job for you.Copy !req
1058. Thank you!Copy !req
1059. Let's beat it before
he changes his mind.Copy !req
1060. Shield your holy bum,
Your Holiness.Copy !req
1061. My trident is on its way.Copy !req
1062. At this place His Holiness
connects his devotees to GodCopy !req
1063. for solutions to their woes.Copy !req
1064. Listen carefully to his calls.Copy !req
1065. If you think the calls are going
to a Wrong Number, alert him.Copy !req
1066. - Will that get me my remote?
- Once he realises...Copy !req
1067. the bead story is a prank
he'll return your remote.Copy !req
1068. Good plan. Let's go.Copy !req
1069. To build a home for someone
is a holy deed.Copy !req
1070. To build a home for God
is the holiest deed.Copy !req
1071. So donate for the temple.Copy !req
1072. And see your woes flee.Copy !req
1073. Son, voice your woe.Copy !req
1074. Your Holiness,Copy !req
1075. my wife's been paralyzed
for six months.Copy !req
1076. The doctors have given up.
What shall I...Copy !req
1077. God.Copy !req
1078. Enlighten me.Copy !req
1079. Yes...Copy !req
1080. What place?Copy !req
1081. What transport?Copy !req
1082. Your wish is our command.Copy !req
1083. Have you heard of
the Rathong glacier?Copy !req
1084. No.Copy !req
1085. It's in the Himalayas.
Take a train to SilliguriCopy !req
1086. then a bus to GangtokCopy !req
1087. then an eight day trek.Copy !req
1088. You'll reach a grand temple.Copy !req
1089. Pray there,
your problem will be solved.Copy !req
1090. Wrong Number!
This is a Wrong Number!Copy !req
1091. - What?
- Wrong Number.Copy !req
1092. Your Holiness, your phone line
to God has gone kaput.Copy !req
1093. Your calls are going to
a Wrong NumberCopy !req
1094. and a fake God is
playing pranks.Copy !req
1095. What are you trying to say?Copy !req
1096. I'll explain.
Aren't we God's children?Copy !req
1097. Yes, so?Copy !req
1098. Say your kid's in a jam
and comes to you.Copy !req
1099. Will you help promptly,
or will you sayCopy !req
1100. kiddo, I've another house
2,000 miles away.Copy !req
1101. Come there, tell me
the same problem again.Copy !req
1102. Then I'll solve it. What bull!Copy !req
1103. If the call went to real God, He'd
Son, tend to your ailing wife,Copy !req
1104. don't run after meCopy !req
1105. after death
you'll come to me anywayCopy !req
1106. give her your time now. Right?Copy !req
1107. I can prove it's a prank.Copy !req
1108. Call this fake God
again and ask.Copy !req
1109. What's the guarantee
she will get well.Copy !req
1110. Sir, till you get it in writing,
don't leave her side.Copy !req
1111. Just call, and clear all doubt.Copy !req
1112. It's time for His Holiness'
holy silence.Copy !req
1113. Praise be to God
Glory be to God.Copy !req
1114. This fake God is passing off
my property as a holy bead.Copy !req
1115. He's playing a prank.Copy !req
1116. He is no God. He is a fraud.Copy !req
1117. He is a FRAUDCopy !req
1118. God doesn't talk to us mortals.Copy !req
1119. He communicates
through His managers.Copy !req
1120. - Tipsy has raised a big question.
- What?Copy !req
1121. Is God really talking
to the managers?Copy !req
1122. No.Copy !req
1123. So where do the commands
for us come from?Copy !req
1124. - From a Wrong Number!
- So what should the public do?Copy !req
1125. Till phone lines are fixed,
don't depend on God's managers.Copy !req
1126. Help each other
in difficult times.Copy !req
1127. A great tip from Tipsy:
Don't rely on God's managers.Copy !req
1128. Rely on each other.Copy !req
1129. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
1130. Tipsy says don't make the temple,
the bead belongs to him.Copy !req
1131. What's in your pocket?Copy !req
1132. - Do you smoke?
- Yes.Copy !req
1133. - You consume alcohol?
- Occasionally.Copy !req
1134. You smoke cigarettes,
consume alcoholCopy !req
1135. despite knowing
their fatal effects.Copy !req
1136. Governments
permit these poisons,Copy !req
1137. factories manufacture them,
stores sell them.Copy !req
1138. Nobody questions this.Copy !req
1139. But in this sacred land of
Lord Ram and KrishnaCopy !req
1140. if I wish to build a templeCopy !req
1141. why these questions?Copy !req
1142. Why not question the man
who is trying to stall this temple?Copy !req
1143. Who's this Tipsy?Copy !req
1144. What's his real name?Copy !req
1145. Why's he hiding it?
Is he a Muslim?Copy !req
1146. If question you must,
go ask TipsyCopy !req
1147. what is his religion?Copy !req
1148. Find out his religion,
Find out his faith.Copy !req
1149. Centuries ago,
Mohammad of GhazniCopy !req
1150. came and destroyed our temples.Copy !req
1151. Today another invader
wants to repeat history.Copy !req
1152. But we won't allow...Copy !req
1153. Your God asks my religion.
Let's ask Him...Copy !req
1154. the religions of these people.Copy !req
1155. - What nonsense?
- Call up your God!Copy !req
1156. Why bother God? I'll tell you.Copy !req
1157. This one is a Hindu.
He's a Christian...Copy !req
1158. Sikh, Jain and...Copy !req
1159. that one is of your religion.Copy !req
1160. Enlighten him.Copy !req
1161. Hello. I'm Sikh.Copy !req
1162. Greetings. I'm MuslimCopy !req
1163. I'm Jain.Copy !req
1164. Hi, I'm Christian.Copy !req
1165. Hello! I'm Hindu.Copy !req
1166. Bamboozled!Copy !req
1167. I swapped their robes. Get it?Copy !req
1168. Faith is connected to fashion.Copy !req
1169. Want a demo? Check the math.Copy !req
1170. Beard + moustache + turban = Sikh.Copy !req
1171. Minus turban = Hindu.Copy !req
1172. Minus moustache = Muslim!Copy !req
1173. This difference is
made by the fake God.Copy !req
1174. If real God wanted it,
He'd put a label on us.Copy !req
1175. - Is there a label on your body?
- Mine?Copy !req
1176. Don't gape, strip and check!Copy !req
1177. Why be coy?Copy !req
1178. Strip everyone, show His Holiness.
Is there any label?Copy !req
1179. Cut the coyness.
OK, I'll go first.Copy !req
1180. See the bare facts.Copy !req
1181. Is there a label?Copy !req
1182. Nothing! You see!Copy !req
1183. Check some more...Copy !req
1184. Remove this ruffian.Copy !req
1185. Hey! I'm proving a point.Copy !req
1186. Start the chants!Copy !req
1187. Praise be to God
Glory be to God.Copy !req
1188. That's no divine bead.Copy !req
1189. Jaggu!Copy !req
1190. Stop this farce!Copy !req
1191. Papa!Copy !req
1192. You were all of 40 days, when
His Holiness christened you.Copy !req
1193. Remember, he who gives you
a name, can ruin it too.Copy !req
1194. He named me Jagat Janani.Copy !req
1195. How can he ruin it further?Copy !req
1196. You! Name your price.Copy !req
1197. Papa!Copy !req
1198. Trying to scare His Holiness
to extort money.Copy !req
1199. No, no.Copy !req
1200. You'll burn in Hell!
Fear the wrath of God!Copy !req
1201. Thank you Papa! Thank youCopy !req
1202. I'd solved only half the puzzle.
You pieced it together.Copy !req
1203. Fear is the key.Copy !req
1204. The prankster is
cashing in on fear. Get it?Copy !req
1205. Not exactly,
but can you explain to Papa?Copy !req
1206. You bet! I can prove it.
Follow meCopy !req
1207. I don't have time
for this nonsense.Copy !req
1208. If it turns out to be nonsense,
I'll call off the show.Copy !req
1209. Exams are on at this college.
The students are scared stiff.Copy !req
1210. Now, we'll establish our business -
The Fear Factory.Copy !req
1211. Machine installed.Copy !req
1212. A little seed capital.Copy !req
1213. Now the inauguration.Copy !req
1214. Just watch!
Capital doubles in 15 minutes.Copy !req
1215. Look there.Copy !req
1216. The first customer!Copy !req
1217. Tea... piping hot tea.Copy !req
1218. Check the investment
of the tea vendor.Copy !req
1219. Kettle, tea, sugar, bike,
thermos.Copy !req
1220. And here -
a rock and a red mark.Copy !req
1221. Hot and piping tea...Copy !req
1222. There, you gotta
woo the clients.Copy !req
1223. Here you shoo them away.Copy !req
1224. Hey, scram.
Give others a chance.Copy !req
1225. There you bow
before the customer.Copy !req
1226. Here the customer
bows before you.Copy !req
1227. If he's in deep trouble,
he goes horizontal.Copy !req
1228. The Wrong Number guy
trades in fear.Copy !req
1229. He knows - those in dread
to the temple head.Copy !req
1230. You too seem afraid!
Off with these...Copy !req
1231. Do not question religion.Copy !req
1232. It's a matter of faith!Copy !req
1233. If God didn't want us
to raise questions.Copy !req
1234. He wouldn't give us
the power to reason.Copy !req
1235. Guardians of religion use violence
when they can't answer us.Copy !req
1236. They scare us into silence.
But now we won't be silent.Copy !req
1237. So far one Tipsy raised questions.
Now there'll be a thousand.Copy !req
1238. Friends, pick up your phones.Copy !req
1239. When you spot a Wrong Number,
shoot it and send it to us.Copy !req
1240. We'll put it on TV.Copy !req
1241. Dump your fear, ask questions.Copy !req
1242. Holy Sir!Copy !req
1243. One question.Copy !req
1244. If you can conjure gold
from thin airCopy !req
1245. why don't you end
the nation's poverty?Copy !req
1246. Answer please.Copy !req
1247. Holy Sir!Copy !req
1248. Since you're a walking gold mine,
why ask us for donations?Copy !req
1249. God is great!Copy !req
1250. This is a Wrong Number.Copy !req
1251. - Jaggu... come with me.
- Cherry give me a moment.Copy !req
1252. Come with me.Copy !req
1253. The Wrong Number idea
is a national rage.Copy !req
1254. - What!
- It's spread like wild fire.Copy !req
1255. Guru says - to land a job,
feed a cow.Copy !req
1256. Is this cow
an employment agent?Copy !req
1257. Or posts CVs on Monster.com?
Wrong Number.Copy !req
1258. Watch this one!Copy !req
1259. He says, convert to
Christianity, or be damned.Copy !req
1260. If God wanted,
I'd be Christian by birth.Copy !req
1261. Why convert now? Wrong Number.Copy !req
1262. These girls want to
go to school.Copy !req
1263. A new dictat says:
Kill them if they do.Copy !req
1264. Is God so small,
He'll deny children knowledge?Copy !req
1265. Wrong Number.Copy !req
1266. What God has destined for you
will happen.Copy !req
1267. He has a master plan
for the Universe.Copy !req
1268. Accept it.Copy !req
1269. Your disciples say:
To get a male child,Copy !req
1270. buy this book,
and chant the mantras.Copy !req
1271. So buy a Rs 10 bookCopy !req
1272. and bust God's master plan!Copy !req
1273. Tipsy! Your show's a hit!
Messages are pouring in.Copy !req
1274. Here's one more.Copy !req
1275. What happened?Copy !req
1276. It's Papa. He's ashamed
I'm his daughterCopy !req
1277. I was in tenth gradeCopy !req
1278. when I wrote my first poem.Copy !req
1279. For Papa.Copy !req
1280. They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible,Copy !req
1281. but I'm my Daddy's girlCopy !req
1282. I recited it on the Annual Day.Copy !req
1283. All parents clappedCopy !req
1284. but one whistled with joy.Copy !req
1285. The applause ended,
the whistling continued.Copy !req
1286. It was Papa.Copy !req
1287. He was so proud of me.Copy !req
1288. And now this message.
Ashamed of you.Copy !req
1289. There's a Wrong Number
in your Papa's head.Copy !req
1290. The day he gets rid of it,
he'll whistle for you again.Copy !req
1291. It won't happen.Copy !req
1292. Don't be sad. Come with me.Copy !req
1293. On my planet when people are sad,
know what they do?Copy !req
1294. What?Copy !req
1295. Recharge the battery!Copy !req
1296. - What!
- Just copy me.Copy !req
1297. What are we doing?Copy !req
1298. Shut your eyes!Copy !req
1299. How do I copy then?Copy !req
1300. Right. Keep them open.Copy !req
1301. To steal glances at you all day.Copy !req
1302. To strain for every word you say.Copy !req
1303. To put every chore aside.Copy !req
1304. And follow your every stride.Copy !req
1305. That's nothing but a
waste of time.Copy !req
1306. Love is a waste of time.Copy !req
1307. Amore is nothing more.Copy !req
1308. Love is a waste of time.Copy !req
1309. But my mind and heart insist.Copy !req
1310. Once in this life at least.Copy !req
1311. I must waste my time.Copy !req
1312. Without reason or rhyme.Copy !req
1313. I want to waste my time.Copy !req
1314. I love this waste of time.Copy !req
1315. A zillion peeps into the mirror.Copy !req
1316. A million times
I've styled my hair.Copy !req
1317. Countless sets of
clothes I've tried.Copy !req
1318. Emptied perfume
bottles with flair.Copy !req
1319. Dressing up is all I did
Did nothing else worthwhile.Copy !req
1320. Now I understand.Copy !req
1321. That love is waste of time.Copy !req
1322. But my mind and heart insist.Copy !req
1323. Once in this life at least.Copy !req
1324. I must waste my time.Copy !req
1325. Without reason or rhyme.Copy !req
1326. I want to waste my time.Copy !req
1327. I love this waste of time.Copy !req
1328. My world has topsy-turvy turned.Copy !req
1329. I know not how to tell you.Copy !req
1330. I smile without rhyme or reason.Copy !req
1331. What's happening I have no clue.Copy !req
1332. The mind just wants to soar
And from rooftops yell.Copy !req
1333. Now I understand
Love is a waste of time.Copy !req
1334. But my mind and heart insist.Copy !req
1335. Once in this life at least.Copy !req
1336. I must waste my time.Copy !req
1337. Without reason or rhyme.Copy !req
1338. I want to waste my time.Copy !req
1339. I love this waste of time.Copy !req
1340. The donation box is getting
more questions than cash.Copy !req
1341. Your relics don't sell anymore.Copy !req
1342. Millions of abuses on
Facebook and Twitter.Copy !req
1343. - Just five?
- Those are in support.Copy !req
1344. The abuses are in here.Copy !req
1345. It's time for action, Sir.
Avoiding the issue can be disastrous.Copy !req
1346. God.Copy !req
1347. Call Cherry Bajwa.Copy !req
1348. Tipsy has asked many questions.
I'll ask him just one.Copy !req
1349. - Hey Jaggu.
- What happened?Copy !req
1350. His Holiness wants to come
on the show. To debate with Tipsy.Copy !req
1351. - Tipsy'll rip him!
- It'll be a mother of a show!Copy !req
1352. Get Tipsy ready.
Put the promos out.Copy !req
1353. 'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm.Copy !req
1354. Don't miss, 'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm.Copy !req
1355. My pal's become a star!
Hey look, he's a rock star.Copy !req
1356. Rock star was
roaming butt nakedCopy !req
1357. I made him a star.
The bloke's on TVCopy !req
1358. and me - in this shanty town,
this crappy shackCopy !req
1359. guzzling booze with
a jackass like you.Copy !req
1360. Star my foot!Copy !req
1361. Tipsy, some
Bhairon Singh for you.Copy !req
1362. Bhairon!Copy !req
1363. Take that line.Copy !req
1364. - Bro!
- You lusty lad.Copy !req
1365. You're a rock star!Copy !req
1366. Bro, where are you?Copy !req
1367. In Mandawa.
Coming to Delhi tomorrow.Copy !req
1368. With a gift for youCopy !req
1369. I've nabbed the thief
who stole your stuff.Copy !req
1370. He sold it for 40 grand.Copy !req
1371. - Guess to whom.
- Whom?Copy !req
1372. His Holiness!Copy !req
1373. God said: It's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace. Take it...Copy !req
1374. and enshrine it in a grand temple.
Sighting this bead...Copy !req
1375. Hey,Copy !req
1376. what happened?Copy !req
1377. The thief who stole
my remote is caught.Copy !req
1378. What! Really?Copy !req
1379. Bro said, the thief sold it to
His Holiness.Copy !req
1380. Then His Holiness is finished!Copy !req
1381. We'll tell him -
return the remote,Copy !req
1382. or the thief tells all on TV.Copy !req
1383. So he didn't find my remote
in the Himalayas! He's lying.Copy !req
1384. Wrong Numbers are not
floated by some fake God...Copy !req
1385. but by His Holiness.Copy !req
1386. You knew this Jaggu?Copy !req
1387. Remember the day
you mentioned Wrong Number.Copy !req
1388. All his calls are going
to a Wrong NumberCopy !req
1389. I knew then you were on the
wrong track. But I kept mum.Copy !req
1390. If you'd called him a fraud,
people would have killed you.Copy !req
1391. People crave for the unique.Copy !req
1392. Wrong Number!Copy !req
1393. Your Wrong Number
concept was unique.Copy !req
1394. Today the world supports you.Copy !req
1395. Tipsy, my plan worked!
You're going home!Copy !req
1396. You'll fly away tomorrow,
my friend.Copy !req
1397. Whoosh... gone.Copy !req
1398. We'll never meet again.Copy !req
1399. There will be such a voidCopy !req
1400. I'll really miss you.Copy !req
1401. Shall I stay back?Copy !req
1402. How can you?Copy !req
1403. Simple, I have a jobCopy !req
1404. I'll get some ID made
and settle hereCopy !req
1405. I'll find someone to
'waste time' with meCopy !req
1406. I'll marry her.Copy !req
1407. - Who'll marry you!
- Why not?Copy !req
1408. Your wife will go nuts
introducing you -Copy !req
1409. Meet my husband. He's Tipsy!Copy !req
1410. That's not my name!Copy !req
1411. - Tipsyyy!
- I'll get a real name.Copy !req
1412. Why don't you suggest one?
A name you love.Copy !req
1413. A man's name must
match his personality.Copy !req
1414. Right!Copy !req
1415. So how is my personality?Copy !req
1416. I'll explain.Copy !req
1417. A poet once wrote...Copy !req
1418. Irony of mismatched names...Copy !req
1419. No poetry, please!
I've something to say.Copy !req
1420. Who says 'What's in a name?'.Copy !req
1421. If you don't get the right one,
what a pain.Copy !req
1422. Mr Burns is in fact so cool.Copy !req
1423. With violence alone
Mr Peace does rule.Copy !req
1424. His name is Mr Fox
But has no bushy tail.Copy !req
1425. "I love you Jaggu".Copy !req
1426. One whole ton is the
weight of Mr Flower.Copy !req
1427. At his mere sight,
the poor chair does cower.Copy !req
1428. Very nice... very nice.Copy !req
1429. Here's a bunch of cards
with different names.Copy !req
1430. Pick the one you like.Copy !req
1431. Danduram Thatte?Copy !req
1432. - Disaster!
- Next!Copy !req
1433. Tutari Singh?Copy !req
1434. Phooey!Copy !req
1435. Sarfaraz.Copy !req
1436. - Sarfaraz...
- What happened?Copy !req
1437. Keep going, find a good name.Copy !req
1438. What's the matter?Copy !req
1439. Nothing.Copy !req
1440. "I love you Jaggu".Copy !req
1441. Brother!Copy !req
1442. God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground.Copy !req
1443. God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground.Copy !req
1444. Nowadays He doesn't have
Time to look around.Copy !req
1445. God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground.Copy !req
1446. Whatever may happen here
He does not reprimand.Copy !req
1447. Thousand evils, million wrongs
He does not take a stand.Copy !req
1448. Plundering is all around
Bombs come to hound.Copy !req
1449. A terrorist outfit has claimed
responsibility for the blast.Copy !req
1450. They say this was a mock drill.Copy !req
1451. Persecute our people,
and real war will follow.Copy !req
1452. We shall protect our God.Copy !req
1453. Where are you going, Tipsy?Copy !req
1454. On the show.Copy !req
1455. You don't have toCopy !req
1456. I must. More than ever.Copy !req
1457. 'The Final Question'
Welcome to our special showCopy !req
1458. in which we meet Tipsy...Copy !req
1459. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1460. Bring it.Copy !req
1461. What is this?Copy !req
1462. God says: It's a divine bead
from His necklace.Copy !req
1463. This man claims,
it's his propertyCopy !req
1464. God says: Build a temple.Copy !req
1465. And this man opposes it.Copy !req
1466. Who do I listen to?
God, or this gentlemanCopy !req
1467. who used to hand out these
blasphemous pamphlets?Copy !req
1468. First he claimed,
God is missing.Copy !req
1469. Then said, God is a fraud.Copy !req
1470. Next he'll say, God is dead.Copy !req
1471. What do you want, son?
A world without God?Copy !req
1472. Do you have any clue
how people suffer?Copy !req
1473. No food to eat.Copy !req
1474. No place to live.Copy !req
1475. No friend to talk to.Copy !req
1476. People kill themselves.
Slit their wrists, jump off buildings.Copy !req
1477. Why? Because they have no hope.Copy !req
1478. If bowing before God,
smearing holy ash,Copy !req
1479. wearing amulets,
gives them hope to live,Copy !req
1480. then who are you
to snatch away that hope?Copy !req
1481. And if you snatch away their God,
how will you fill that void?Copy !req
1482. This man rants about
Wrong Numbers.Copy !req
1483. Today he must tell us:
What is the Right Number?Copy !req
1484. You are right, Your Holiness.Copy !req
1485. There was a time
I too had no food to eat.Copy !req
1486. No place to liveCopy !req
1487. I cried a lot
because I had no friendCopy !req
1488. I had only one hope then -Copy !req
1489. God.Copy !req
1490. Each day I hoped:
Tomorrow will be betterCopy !req
1491. God will find a solutionCopy !req
1492. I agree
belief in God gives hope,Copy !req
1493. the strength to face ordeals.Copy !req
1494. But I have one question.Copy !req
1495. Which God shall I believe in?Copy !req
1496. You say there is ONE GodCopy !req
1497. I say no.Copy !req
1498. There are TWO Gods.Copy !req
1499. One who created us.Copy !req
1500. And the other whom you created.Copy !req
1501. We know nothing about
the God who made us.Copy !req
1502. But the God YOU made up,
is just like you.Copy !req
1503. Petty.
Takes bribes, makes false promises.Copy !req
1504. Readily meets the rich,
keeps the poor waiting.Copy !req
1505. Thrives on flattery.
Makes you live in fear.Copy !req
1506. My Right Number is simple.Copy !req
1507. The God who created us all,
believe in Him.Copy !req
1508. The God YOU created -Copy !req
1509. abolish him.Copy !req
1510. Yes!Copy !req
1511. You'll abolish my God
and I'll keep quiet?Copy !req
1512. I know how to protect my God.Copy !req
1513. You will protect God?Copy !req
1514. You!Copy !req
1515. This is a puny planet.Copy !req
1516. Billions of bigger planets
float in space.Copy !req
1517. And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this
puny planet, have the nerve to sayCopy !req
1518. you will protect Him,
who created the Universe?Copy !req
1519. He doesn't need your protection.
He can protect Himself.Copy !req
1520. Today someone tried to
protect God and my friend died.Copy !req
1521. This is all that's left -
his shoe.Copy !req
1522. Stop protecting God.Copy !req
1523. Or this planet will have
no humans, only shoes.Copy !req
1524. A Muslim terrorist
blows up a trainCopy !req
1525. and a Hindu guru endures
your sermon. That's nice.Copy !req
1526. What's this Hindu, Muslim?
Show me the label.Copy !req
1527. You created these differences.
Not God.Copy !req
1528. This is the deadliest
Wrong Number of this planet.Copy !req
1529. It kills people, separates them.Copy !req
1530. Like your Wrong Number
separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz.Copy !req
1531. - What Wrong Number?
- That Sarfaraz will betray.Copy !req
1532. He did betray her.Copy !req
1533. - What's going on?
- Hold it.Copy !req
1534. You say my prediction
about Sarfaraz was wrong?Copy !req
1535. Exactly!Copy !req
1536. Then prove it -
prove my prophecy wrong!Copy !req
1537. Failing that,
fall at my feet and admitCopy !req
1538. that you are a liar.
You tried to defame me.Copy !req
1539. What if I prove it?Copy !req
1540. Tipsy... don't!Copy !req
1541. Then this is yoursCopy !req
1542. I accept.Copy !req
1543. Turn the cameras towards
Jagat JananiCopy !req
1544. I hope you will answer
my questions truthfully.Copy !req
1545. In Belgium you fell in love
with a Pakistani boy.Copy !req
1546. True or false?Copy !req
1547. Please spare my personal life.Copy !req
1548. On Friday, at 3:21 pm
I predicted this boy will betray you.Copy !req
1549. The next day you went to the
Marriage Registrar's officeCopy !req
1550. but he didn't show up.Copy !req
1551. True or false?Copy !req
1552. Yes, he didn't come.
Please stop this.Copy !req
1553. Now will you come to my feet
or do I walk my feet to you?Copy !req
1554. - Sarfaraz did not betray.
- Please let it go!Copy !req
1555. No. Tell us
what happened that day.Copy !req
1556. Please!Copy !req
1557. Just once, for my sakeCopy !req
1558. I was at the Marriage
Registrar's office andCopy !req
1559. a letter was brought to me.Copy !req
1560. Did Sarfaraz bring it?Copy !req
1561. No. He sent it through a kid.Copy !req
1562. - Was it signed?
- No.Copy !req
1563. How do you know
Sarfaraz sent it?Copy !req
1564. It could have been
for some other girl.Copy !req
1565. There was another girl.
With a cat, right?Copy !req
1566. She gave you the cat
to hold for a while.Copy !req
1567. The kid who gave you the letter-
did he know you?Copy !req
1568. - No!
- Did you know him?Copy !req
1569. No.Copy !req
1570. Then how would he know
the letter was for you?Copy !req
1571. Maybe he was told to give
the letter to the girl with the cat.Copy !req
1572. You read the letter,
but didn't call Sarfaraz.Copy !req
1573. Did you?Copy !req
1574. Because this man planted
a Wrong Number - that Muslims betray.Copy !req
1575. Sarfaraz didn't betray you.Copy !req
1576. What's going on?Copy !req
1577. You expect us to believe
these cat and bull stories?Copy !req
1578. One minute.Copy !req
1579. We'll get to the truth right now.
Call Sarfaraz.Copy !req
1580. Hurry up!Copy !req
1581. This number does not exist.Copy !req
1582. Any other number?
Friend, college, something?Copy !req
1583. - C'mon Jaggu!
- Belgium University.Copy !req
1584. - Hello.
- Hello!Copy !req
1585. I actually need to get in touch with
one of your grad students.Copy !req
1586. Sarfaraz Yousuf.Copy !req
1587. Oh yeah.
He left for Pakistan last year.Copy !req
1588. Has he left a number?Copy !req
1589. Sorry, we are not authorized
to give out information.Copy !req
1590. This is really important.Copy !req
1591. E-mail us your request and
I can forward it to Student Affairs.Copy !req
1592. Have a nice day dear.Copy !req
1593. His Pakistan number?Copy !req
1594. - Don't know.
- Think, Jaggu darlingCopy !req
1595. I work at the Pakistan Embassy.Copy !req
1596. His job -
Pakistan Embassy, Belgium.Copy !req
1597. Mitu, call the Pakistan Embassy,
Belgium.Copy !req
1598. - Copy sir.
- Put it on the speakers.Copy !req
1599. Greetings. Pakistan Embassy.Copy !req
1600. Hello.Copy !req
1601. A student from Lahore
worked with you.Copy !req
1602. - Sarfaraz Yousuf.
- Is your name Jaggu?Copy !req
1603. Hello... is your name Jaggu?Copy !req
1604. How do you know?Copy !req
1605. She's called!
The girl from Delhi has called.Copy !req
1606. Farah, it's Jaggu calling.Copy !req
1607. Mr Sayyed, hurry,
it's Jaggu's call from India.Copy !req
1608. On the double everyone!Copy !req
1609. Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us
from Lahore, every day at 9 am.Copy !req
1610. And with impeccable politeness
asks just one question:Copy !req
1611. Was there a call for me
from India - from Jaggu?Copy !req
1612. We say "No", and he disconnects.Copy !req
1613. He's driven us crazy.Copy !req
1614. Wait. I'll connect you to him.Copy !req
1615. Hello...Copy !req
1616. - Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf?
- Yes, speaking.Copy !req
1617. - Where are you?
- In Lahore. Why?Copy !req
1618. - Where are you right now?
- At home. Why?Copy !req
1619. Is there a chair or
a bench nearby?Copy !req
1620. Please sit down.
You're about to get a jolt.Copy !req
1621. Pardon me?Copy !req
1622. You have a call from Delhi.Copy !req
1623. Please speak here.Copy !req
1624. Hello...Copy !req
1625. Sarfaraz...Copy !req
1626. Jaggu...Copy !req
1627. Hello...Copy !req
1628. hello Jaggu, what's the matter?Copy !req
1629. Had you come to the
Marriage Registrar's office?Copy !req
1630. I had, but you had left.Copy !req
1631. Why didn't you call?Copy !req
1632. I got your letter.
You'd said, 'Don't contact me'Copy !req
1633. I knew you were
under family pressure.Copy !req
1634. But deep down I knew,
one day you would contact me.Copy !req
1635. What took you so long?Copy !req
1636. I am sorry.
I had your Wrong Number.Copy !req
1637. Just got the right number
from a friend.Copy !req
1638. Thank you son.Copy !req
1639. Here, hold this.Copy !req
1640. Tipsy! You're taking
batteries home?Copy !req
1641. - Don't get them there.
- So many! For what?Copy !req
1642. Back home, I'll listen
to the sounds I've recorded.Copy !req
1643. What sounds?Copy !req
1644. Earth sounds -
crows, traffic honking.Copy !req
1645. Up there, you'll listen
to cars honking?Copy !req
1646. Now and then -
when I miss this planet.Copy !req
1647. Hey, wait! There's one more bag.Copy !req
1648. Forget it, Tipsy!Copy !req
1649. You kidding?
It's stuffed with batteries.Copy !req
1650. Wait!Copy !req
1651. Driver... please stop!Copy !req
1652. Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?Copy !req
1653. And they roam around naked?Copy !req
1654. Why are you staring?
Something on my face?Copy !req
1655. I was in tenth grade,
when I wrote my first poem,Copy !req
1656. for Papa.Copy !req
1657. They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible...Copy !req
1658. Poetry means
sparse words, soaring thoughts.Copy !req
1659. Pal, you're really cute.Copy !req
1660. Here's to the
teetotaler called Tipsy.Copy !req
1661. Who says "What's in a name?"Copy !req
1662. No tape had sounds of
crows or traffic honking.Copy !req
1663. Every tape had just my voice.Copy !req
1664. "I love you Jaggu".Copy !req
1665. Got it!Copy !req
1666. He sure made me run!Copy !req
1667. Tipsy, what's in these tapes?Copy !req
1668. Told you -
crows, traffic honking.Copy !req
1669. Every night, when your planet
rises, I'll play these tapes.Copy !req
1670. And wave at you. Like this.Copy !req
1671. Will you wave back...
now and then?Copy !req
1672. Haven't you recorded my voice?Copy !req
1673. Your voice?Copy !req
1674. I think I have...
that one poem you recited.Copy !req
1675. One poem? That's it?Copy !req
1676. I'm not exactly
in love with you...Copy !req
1677. to waste all my time over you!Copy !req
1678. He didn't look back. Not once.Copy !req
1679. He was hiding his tears.Copy !req
1680. One thing he learnt from us.
One thing he taught us.Copy !req
1681. He learnt from us how to lie...Copy !req
1682. and taught us how to love.Copy !req
1683. He loved me enough to let me go.Copy !req
1684. He came here naked.
As children do.Copy !req
1685. Asked a lot of questions.
As children do.Copy !req
1686. And then one day...Copy !req
1687. he went away.Copy !req
1688. Four billion miles away.Copy !req
1689. He left me two parting gifts.Copy !req
1690. SarfarazCopy !req
1691. and Papa.Copy !req
1692. Till I live... every night I'll look
at his planet and waveCopy !req
1693. I'm sure, he'll do the sameCopy !req
1694. I miss him.Copy !req
1695. Fellow astronauts,
prepare to land on Earth.Copy !req
1696. Remember the four
Earth Survival Commandments.Copy !req
1697. Do not roam around naked.Copy !req
1698. Cuddling, making love etc.
Must be done in closed rooms.Copy !req
1699. But fighting, making war etc.
Is allowed in the open.Copy !req
1700. Beware of language,
it's confusing.Copy !req
1701. If Earthlings say,
'I love chicken and fish, 'Copy !req
1702. it doesn't mean
they love animals,Copy !req
1703. but that animals are
on the lunch menu.Copy !req
1704. The gap between thought and
speech is our topic of research.Copy !req
1705. On landing,
find dancing cars for clothes.Copy !req
1706. Hide your remotes deep in your
underwear, safe from thievesCopy !req
1707. the mother commandment.Copy !req
1708. If anyone says:
I'll connect you to God,Copy !req
1709. dump the research, take a U-turn
and run for your life.Copy !req
1710. Come, don't be afraid.Copy !req
1711. What are you goggling at?Copy !req
1712. - I have a question.
- What?Copy !req
1713. On your last visit,
how often were you whacked?Copy !req
1714. - What's this?
- Self-defense!Copy !req
1715. Safety gadgets?Copy !req
1716. - Let's go.
- Not there! This way.Copy !req
1717. Kaput!Copy !req