1. How many stars
sparkle in the sky?Copy !req
2. Ever tried counting them?Copy !req
3. It would take 6,000 years to
count those in our galaxy alone.Copy !req
4. How many such galaxies exist?Copy !req
5. Scientists reckon
two billion more.Copy !req
6. Isn't it possible that amongst
these billions of celestial bodiesCopy !req
7. a planet with people
like us exists?Copy !req
8. As we explore space
looking for them,Copy !req
9. couldn't they be coming here,
looking for us?Copy !req
10. Hindi pop song.Copy !req
11. What the thief stole was the
gadget to recall his spaceship.Copy !req
12. Without this remote
he could not return home.Copy !req
13. He neither knew our language,
nor had a friend here.Copy !req
14. Alone, anguished,
his only thought was...Copy !req
15. how will I return home?Copy !req
16. On the pathway of Time
Life is but a brief flame.Copy !req
17. In its luminous mist
We wish, we dream, we exist.Copy !req
18. But on a beautiful bend.Copy !req
19. A stranger may we meet.Copy !req
20. Life after life.Copy !req
21. Whose memory may persist.Copy !req
22. Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?Copy !req
23. - Yes sir...
- I'll take it!Copy !req
24. Sorry, I raised my hand first.Copy !req
25. But I called out firstCopy !req
26. I'm a big fan of
Mr Bachchan, the poetCopy !req
27. I'm a bigger fan of his son,
the actor.Copy !req
28. From age ten, I know all his poems.
Fully memorized.Copy !req
29. From age five, I know his son's
dialogues - without memorizing.Copy !req
30. Hello, who wants it?Copy !req
31. Give me.
Poetry's not his cup of teaCopy !req
32. €100Copy !req
33. €100 for a €40 ticket?
Black market of poetry!Copy !req
34. Queued up
six long hours for this.Copy !req
35. Time is money.Copy !req
36. - Go for the dialogues.
- All yours. Ladies first.Copy !req
37. Just a sec!
Why not split the ticket?Copy !req
38. 1st half you enjoy the poetry.
2nd half I'll savor the acting.Copy !req
39. That's a damn good idea!Copy !req
40. 10, 20, 30, 40Copy !req
41. 50 moreCopy !req
42. - 96
- 96Copy !req
43. €96. How about a discount?
We're from the same country.Copy !req
44. Hail India, bro!Copy !req
45. Long live motherland! €100.Copy !req
46. Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?Copy !req
47. Sir!Copy !req
48. Can I borrow €4? Please!Copy !req
49. Keep my watch till I repay.Copy !req
50. Please, Sir,
it's the last ticket.Copy !req
51. Show is sold out, child.
No tickets left.Copy !req
52. There is one left
with that black marketer.Copy !req
53. Scoundrel!
Giving India a bad name.Copy !req
54. So true!Copy !req
55. Wait here.
I'll get you that ticket.Copy !req
56. OK, Sir.Copy !req
57. Thank you.Copy !req
58. Yes!Copy !req
59. - Sir!
- Do I know you?Copy !req
60. Where's my ticket?Copy !req
61. Ticket? Yours for € 100.Copy !req
62. You bloody cheat!Copy !req
63. Decaying dacoit!
Senile snake! Capitalist!Copy !req
64. Mind your language!Copy !req
65. Mind your coat first!Copy !req
66. - Now enjoy the show!
- Security!Copy !req
67. - Wrinkled wreck!
- Security!Copy !req
68. Let's get outta hereCopy !req
69. I'll get you for this!Copy !req
70. Don't chase me... catch him!Copy !req
71. Oldies these days!
It's a spoilt generation!Copy !req
72. Forget it.Copy !req
73. How can I?Copy !req
74. That bandit basks in poetry
and here I am.Copy !req
75. Drop it.Copy !req
76. Why pine for the party
that shuns us?Copy !req
77. Follow the moment
that beckons usCopy !req
78. I too dabble in poetry.Copy !req
79. It's nice. Go on.Copy !req
80. No. If I go on,
you'll propose to me.Copy !req
81. - You crazy?
- I mean it!Copy !req
82. Your favourite poet,
senior Mr BachchanCopy !req
83. met a lady one morning,
wooed her with verse.Copy !req
84. By dusk they were married.
So I've read.Copy !req
85. Really?Copy !req
86. And boy!
Look what they produced -Copy !req
87. Amitabh Bachchan -
the great actor.Copy !req
88. Jaggu.Copy !req
89. Jaggu?Copy !req
90. My name.Copy !req
91. Papa named me Jagat Janani:
World's motherCopy !req
92. I got mocked at school
so I shortened it - Jaggu.Copy !req
93. - From Mumbai?
- No. DelhiCopy !req
94. I'm studying TV production.Copy !req
95. And you?Copy !req
96. Sarfaraz. I study architectureCopy !req
97. and work part time
at the Pakistan EmbassyCopy !req
98. Pakistan Embassy? Why?Copy !req
99. Well, I'm from Pakistan.Copy !req
100. Unlikely the Indian Embassy
will employ me!Copy !req
101. What's wrong?Copy !req
102. Nothing.Copy !req
103. My being from Pakistan
perturbs you?Copy !req
104. Al right then.Copy !req
105. Goodbye.Copy !req
106. Ask not my name, nor my country.Copy !req
107. From bondage of
borders break free.Copy !req
108. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
109. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
110. Ask not my name, nor my country.Copy !req
111. From bondage of
borders break free.Copy !req
112. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
113. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
114. Past the realms of
word and speech.Copy !req
115. Hand in hand, nowhere to reach.Copy !req
116. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
117. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
118. Past the realms of
word and speech.Copy !req
119. Hand in hand, nowhere to reach.Copy !req
120. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
121. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
122. If the sun scorches the pathway.Copy !req
123. A carpet of shade will I lay.Copy !req
124. If darkness
fills you with dismay.Copy !req
125. I'll conjure up
a moon in the sky.Copy !req
126. If dejection fills up your day.Copy !req
127. With laughter I'll shoo it away.Copy !req
128. Laughing, frolicking,
humming a song.Copy !req
129. Together we shall walk along.Copy !req
130. With you, my fellow traveller.Copy !req
131. Nothing in this world I fear.Copy !req
132. Why a few steps,
a whole lifelong.Copy !req
133. With you I'll walk along.Copy !req
134. Past the realms of
word and speech.Copy !req
135. Hand in hand, nowhere to reach.Copy !req
136. A few steps
on this brief journey.Copy !req
137. Come, just walk with me.Copy !req
138. - Thank you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
139. Mom!Copy !req
140. Papa!Copy !req
141. She's fallen in love!Copy !req
142. Fallen in love?Copy !req
143. He's so cute!Copy !req
144. More photos please!Copy !req
145. What's his job?
What's his family like?Copy !req
146. Calm down Mom. I'll tell you.Copy !req
147. First, the name.Copy !req
148. SarfarazCopy !req
149. Muslim?Copy !req
150. Yes. Studies architecture.
Family is in PakistanCopy !req
151. Pakistan! Which Pakistan?Copy !req
152. There's just one Pakistan, Mom.Copy !req
153. You'll wear burkhas?Copy !req
154. Read the QURAN?
Have you gone mad?Copy !req
155. Don't you disconnect. Stay put.Copy !req
156. Start the car.Copy !req
157. All's doomed, Your Holiness.
Help!Copy !req
158. I knew exactly
where Papa was headed.Copy !req
159. Since childhood one face had
surrounded us: His Holiness.Copy !req
160. Bye Mom.Copy !req
161. From bags to bathroom walls,Copy !req
162. he was omnipresent.Copy !req
163. Even for a root canal
he would set the auspicious time.Copy !req
164. He had gifted Papa a God box
with a deity for every task.Copy !req
165. Goddess of Wealth
for the stock market.Copy !req
166. God of Health for workouts.Copy !req
167. Web-based worship and
sacred sweets by courierCopy !req
168. were his innovations.Copy !req
169. Hail, Your Holiness.Copy !req
170. Hail, Your Holiness.Copy !req
171. Touch his feet Jaggu.Copy !req
172. Why this fatal infatuation?Copy !req
173. Pick up a pen and writeCopy !req
174. God.Copy !req
175. Enlighten me.Copy !req
176. Yes...Copy !req
177. Yes...Copy !req
178. Your wish is our command.Copy !req
179. Write down the prophecy.Copy !req
180. This Pakistani boy,Copy !req
181. Sarfaraz,Copy !req
182. will betray youCopy !req
183. I know he won't.Copy !req
184. History stands witness:
These people scheme and betray.Copy !req
185. He will pursue carnal pleasures.Copy !req
186. But will never marry you.
He'll vanish.Copy !req
187. Come home now! One more
night there, and you're dead to us.Copy !req
188. Mr Sahni, I'll talk to her.Copy !req
189. Child, hit the delete button.Copy !req
190. Banish him from your system.Copy !req
191. Hello!Copy !req
192. What happened?Copy !req
193. Do you love me?Copy !req
194. Of course I do. Why?Copy !req
195. - Will you marry me?
- What's the matter?Copy !req
196. Yes or no, Sarfaraz?Copy !req
197. - Yes, but...
- Tomorrow.Copy !req
198. Tomorrow?Copy !req
199. Tomorrow we get married.Copy !req
200. His prophecy is wrong.
I'll prove it.Copy !req
201. Mr James Herrick and
Miss Oprah Brown, you're next.Copy !req
202. - James isn't here, yet.
- Oh, talk to the registrar.Copy !req
203. Could you just
hold this please?Copy !req
204. - Yes of course.
- Thank you.Copy !req
205. Hello...Copy !req
206. This is for you.Copy !req
207. - For me?
- Yeah.Copy !req
208. Thank you.Copy !req
209. It was from Sarfaraz.Copy !req
210. He said: Marriage isn't just
between individuals, but families.Copy !req
211. Our faiths, countries,
cultures are different.Copy !req
212. We can never be happy
if our families are unhappy.Copy !req
213. Don't try to contact me.Copy !req
214. I'm sorry.Copy !req
215. Where to go young lady?Copy !req
216. New Delhi.Copy !req
217. I came back to my city, but
my parents refused to see me.Copy !req
218. I joined a news channel
as a reporter.Copy !req
219. Today's story: A depressed dog.Copy !req
220. That's our breaking news!Copy !req
221. Some days we had news,
some days we fabricated itCopy !req
222. God.Copy !req
223. If found, contact Tipsy.Copy !req
224. There's a story in this man.
I'll see you at office.Copy !req
225. Don't be late!Copy !req
226. Excuse me?Copy !req
227. Why are you handing these out?Copy !req
228. I have a case pending with Him.Copy !req
229. He neither solves it,
nor meets me.Copy !req
230. My life is kaput.Copy !req
231. He's gone into hiding.Copy !req
232. Have you seen Him around?Copy !req
233. No.Copy !req
234. Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother.Copy !req
235. Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother.Copy !req
236. By the way,
what's with the helmet?Copy !req
237. Got the idea from taxi-tops.Copy !req
238. Yellow yells out from miles.Copy !req
239. Taxis are spotted
easily in traffic.Copy !req
240. - So?
- So God can spot me easy!Copy !req
241. How else will he spot me
in this crowd?Copy !req
242. A bit to your left - perfect!Copy !req
243. Ok, background?Copy !req
244. Cue Jaggu.Copy !req
245. They say
animals are not suicidal.Copy !req
246. Here's Nikku.
Mr Sweetie Singh's dog.Copy !req
247. Nikku has attempted
suicide thrice.Copy !req
248. Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping
pills, hopping onto a gas burner.Copy !req
249. What's wrong with Nikku?Copy !req
250. Is Nikku prey to a
mental problem?Copy !req
251. Is Nikku...Copy !req
252. What's wrong Jaggu?Copy !req
253. What is this shit, Mitu?Copy !req
254. Our chat with famed industrialist
Mr Ratan continuesCopy !req
255. right after this break.Copy !req
256. Going well, Ratan? Some coffee?Copy !req
257. Get him some coffee.Copy !req
258. - Cherry...
- Oh no!Copy !req
259. What's your guess? This dog has
depression, anxiety disorder,Copy !req
260. schizophrenia, or ADHD?Copy !req
261. Whatever, why would I care?Copy !req
262. Exactly.Copy !req
263. Why would anyone care?
Then why do we air such bull?Copy !req
264. What would you rather air?Copy !req
265. Hold him please.Copy !req
266. See this?Copy !req
267. I met a guy distributing
these pamphlets.Copy !req
268. - He is searching for God.
- Found Him?Copy !req
269. No... but.Copy !req
270. Searching for God - that's religion.
Finding God - that's news.Copy !req
271. If he finds God, get him.
I'll put him on air.Copy !req
272. You know the Company policy.Copy !req
273. No news on religion,
no news on God. Finished.Copy !req
274. Man, you've changed!Copy !req
275. Where's the fighter,
Cherry Bajwa?Copy !req
276. You wanna see the fighter?Copy !req
277. Take a good look.Copy !req
278. There are three marks here.Copy !req
279. These aren't birthmarksCopy !req
280. I ran a show against His Holiness,
your Dad's Guru.Copy !req
281. His devotees shoved a trident
right here in my bum.Copy !req
282. Anchor coming to you
in 10 seconds.Copy !req
283. That day I swore -
if you want to live in this countryCopy !req
284. don't mess with religion.
That's it.Copy !req
285. - I've got a show to run now.
- 5... 4...Copy !req
286. 3...Copy !req
287. 2...Copy !req
288. 1...Copy !req
289. Welcome back from the break.Copy !req
290. We were chatting with
famed industrialist Mr Ratan...Copy !req
291. The boss killed my story.Copy !req
292. But it came back to life
two weeks later.Copy !req
293. Stop! Thief!Copy !req
294. He's stealing
from the donation box!Copy !req
295. Don't let him go!Copy !req
296. Lifting from the
donation box, you fool?Copy !req
297. Yes.Copy !req
298. He's no thief!Copy !req
299. While donating
my wallet fell in the box.Copy !req
300. He was getting it out for me.Copy !req
301. Trust me.Copy !req
302. Check for yourself.
It has Rs 5,000 in it.Copy !req
303. - That's mine!
- It was.Copy !req
304. Once in the box, it's donated.Copy !req
305. Now, it's God's. Let them go.Copy !req
306. Dude, what the hell
were you up to?Copy !req
307. Claiming my refundCopy !req
308. God took His fee
but didn't deliver.Copy !req
309. Hang on...Copy !req
310. I saw you fish out some money,
then put some back inCopy !req
311. I took back what I'd paid
at this branch. Returned the rest.Copy !req
312. You used to wear
beads and amulets?Copy !req
313. Rejected. Gone for good.Copy !req
314. Why the stickers then?Copy !req
315. Self-defense!Copy !req
316. God pics on walls - prevent peeingCopy !req
317. on face - prevent punches.Copy !req
318. Mitu, where are you?Copy !req
319. Pick me up.
I've no money to get homeCopy !req
320. I'll fill you in laterCopy !req
321. I'm at Mudrika,
outside the temple.Copy !req
322. Hurry. Thanks, bye.Copy !req
323. Here you go.Copy !req
324. - For what?
- For the ride home.Copy !req
325. When someone can't
get home, I feel sad.Copy !req
326. - Wait.
- That's all I hadCopy !req
327. I can't accept this.Copy !req
328. - Why?
- Won't you need it to get home?Copy !req
329. Money can't get me home.Copy !req
330. Why? Where do you live?Copy !req
331. In the step-well ruins.Copy !req
332. But in this rainy season,
I check into a lock-up.Copy !req
333. Lock-up! As in police lock-up?Copy !req
334. There are 122 in the city.
I yo-yo between them.Copy !req
335. And they let you check in,
like a hotel?Copy !req
336. Come. I'll give you a demo.Copy !req
337. Just watch!Copy !req
338. Hey, copper - look here proper!Copy !req
339. I'll show you proper!Copy !req
340. Jaggu!Copy !req
341. We have to follow that van.Copy !req
342. - Who are we chasing?
- A story.Copy !req
343. Gimme your wallet. I need cash.Copy !req
344. Hurry! Thanks. Bye.Copy !req
345. Excuse me?Copy !req
346. Yes?Copy !req
347. I want to go inside the lock-up.Copy !req
348. Why?Copy !req
349. To meet that guy.Copy !req
350. You think this is the
local coffee joint, huh?Copy !req
351. Saunter in and chillax
with your buddies?Copy !req
352. This is a lock-up, get it?Copy !req
353. Only offenders get in.Copy !req
354. Bribing is an of fence!Copy !req
355. That's why I'm committing it!Copy !req
356. I can lock you in.Copy !req
357. Please do... ASAP!Copy !req
358. - Thank you, Mr Pandey.
- One hour, that's it.Copy !req
359. HiCopy !req
360. I want your story.
Will you share it?Copy !req
361. Why?Copy !req
362. I'm a TV reporter. It's my job.Copy !req
363. - Go on, ask.
- Awesome!Copy !req
364. Your name?Copy !req
365. Don't have a name.Copy !req
366. They call me Tipsy here.
Beats me why.Copy !req
367. And what do you do?Copy !req
368. I'm an astronaut.Copy !req
369. Astronaut!Copy !req
370. Those who shoot off
to the moon?Copy !req
371. Been there once. It's kaput.Copy !req
372. Sure!Copy !req
373. So what's your favourite planet?Copy !req
374. - My own.
- I meant besides Earth?Copy !req
375. Earth is mega-kaputCopy !req
376. I meant my own planet.Copy !req
377. It'll show up there at night.Copy !req
378. We went bananas,Copy !req
379. when we found another planet
with people like usCopy !req
380. I was sent here
on a research mission.Copy !req
381. Boy, what a welcome I got!Copy !req
382. My remote got robbed.Copy !req
383. Without it,
I can't signal my peopleCopy !req
384. and without a signal
they won't come for me.Copy !req
385. They'll think
it's a perilous planet.Copy !req
386. That I'm dead as a dodo.Copy !req
387. Hello!Copy !req
388. - Listen...
- What?Copy !req
389. Let me out. I want to go home.Copy !req
390. Your Highness, convicts
don't decide that. Cops doCopy !req
391. I'm not a thief.Copy !req
392. So say all the thieves.Copy !req
393. Where's officer Pandey?Copy !req
394. Out on his rounds.Copy !req
395. Officer Pandey!Copy !req
396. Officer Pandey!Copy !req
397. Shut up, or you get
a knuckle sandwich.Copy !req
398. You think I'm talking baloney?Copy !req
399. Obviously!Copy !req
400. Is Hindi the official language
of your planet?Copy !req
401. On our planet...Copy !req
402. there's no language!Copy !req
403. We read minds.
There's no confusion.Copy !req
404. Here, you utter something
and mean something else.Copy !req
405. A two-letter word can have
four different meanings.Copy !req
406. When you nod and say "oh",
it means "Oh, that's cool".Copy !req
407. When your eyes pop out,
"oh!" means bad news.Copy !req
408. "Your mother-in-law
is moving in."Oh!"Copy !req
409. When angry, you thunder.Copy !req
410. "Oh! You'll pay
for that blunder!"Copy !req
411. And when your thought is deep,
your "oh" is long!Copy !req
412. "Ohhhhhhh! I see!"Copy !req
413. As you hear the words,
you gotta watch the expressionCopy !req
414. to get the real meaning.Copy !req
415. It's torture!
Took full 6 hours to learn Hindi.Copy !req
416. A whole language in 6 hours?Copy !req
417. No one let me hold hands.Copy !req
418. Finally, a nice lady
lent her handCopy !req
419. I held it and transferred
her language into my system.Copy !req
420. Man, there's no limit
to your whoppers!Copy !req
421. Is your hand a USB cable,Copy !req
422. that transfers files
between computers?Copy !req
423. And your clothes? Are faded jeans
the rage on your planet too?Copy !req
424. Noooo!Copy !req
425. On our planet...Copy !req
426. no one wears clothes.
There we go bare.Copy !req
427. Here, at first I thoughtCopy !req
428. your skins were
different from ours.Copy !req
429. Some had sparkly hides,Copy !req
430. some jet black.Copy !req
431. Some hides were colourful,
some white.Copy !req
432. Some hides sticky-tight,
some baggy.Copy !req
433. Then one day I found a car.Copy !req
434. A dancing car.Copy !req
435. That day I realized
our skins were the sameCopy !req
436. but yours are covered
with a thing called fashion.Copy !req
437. Radio Commercial.Copy !req
438. Now I could mingle.Copy !req
439. Yet I was mocked.Copy !req
440. Look here -
half man, half woman!Copy !req
441. Slowly I got it.Copy !req
442. There's man - fashion
and woman - fashion.Copy !req
443. There was day fashion...Copy !req
444. and night fashion.Copy !req
445. Sporting fashion...Copy !req
446. and serving fashion.Copy !req
447. With the clothes,
I found some photos.Copy !req
448. It hit me - these photos
meant survival.Copy !req
449. You could swap them for food.Copy !req
450. So I built a portfolio
of this old man's photos.Copy !req
451. What's this?Copy !req
452. What are these for?Copy !req
453. Why are you giving me
this junk?Copy !req
454. Right! Now we're talking!Copy !req
455. Here you go.Copy !req
456. I got it: This photo had value
on just one kind of paper.Copy !req
457. On any other paper,
it was worthless.Copy !req
458. For cash and clothes,
dancing cars were widely available.Copy !req
459. They were my bank,
they were my tailor!Copy !req
460. Once, I got
such magnetic attireCopy !req
461. that no photos were needed.Copy !req
462. Food was pulled to me.Copy !req
463. For you, Sir.Copy !req
464. Now, to find my remote, I had to
learn this planet's language.Copy !req
465. Without it,
every task was a trial.Copy !req
466. Like telling this gentlemanCopy !req
467. there was a defect
in his fashion.Copy !req
468. I felt I had spoilt his fashion.Copy !req
469. So I put it back where it was.Copy !req
470. Found him on the road.Copy !req
471. Some scum bag hit him and bolted.Copy !req
472. Seems pretty okay,Copy !req
473. but isn't responding.Copy !req
474. Has his eardrum
called it a day?Copy !req
475. Are you deaf?Copy !req
476. Can hear al right,
but isn't talking.Copy !req
477. Seems in a state of shock.Copy !req
478. Memory loss, I'm afraid.Copy !req
479. Remember the scum bag
who hit you?Copy !req
480. Remember the license plate?Copy !req
481. Remember anything at all?Copy !req
482. Come my friend. Come with me.Copy !req
483. Be my guest till you
get your memory back.Copy !req
484. Keep slamming your head.Copy !req
485. One knock took your memory away,
another might bring it back.Copy !req
486. Seen it in the movies.Copy !req
487. To figure what he was
yapping about,Copy !req
488. I had to hold his hand
and transfer his language.Copy !req
489. Hey!Copy !req
490. With memory loss your gender
sense went for a toss?Copy !req
491. Wait a moment...Copy !req
492. See this - my license.Copy !req
493. Man...Copy !req
494. rogue, rascal, scum bag.Copy !req
495. To return home
I had to hold someone's hand.Copy !req
496. Here comes my zany guest.Copy !req
497. Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all.Copy !req
498. Here comes my zany guest.Copy !req
499. Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all.Copy !req
500. Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!Copy !req
501. Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge.Copy !req
502. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
503. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
504. Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far.Copy !req
505. From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar.Copy !req
506. Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far.Copy !req
507. From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar.Copy !req
508. What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?Copy !req
509. What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?Copy !req
510. What's the zip code
Of your abode.Copy !req
511. Did you alight from a cloud
Or sprout from underground.Copy !req
512. Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!Copy !req
513. Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge.Copy !req
514. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
515. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
516. This memory loss is a blessing.Copy !req
517. This memory loss is a blessing.Copy !req
518. Feuds forgotten
lenders left guessing.Copy !req
519. Lovable lad.Copy !req
520. Innocent lad.Copy !req
521. Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge.Copy !req
522. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
523. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
524. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad.Copy !req
525. Here comes the lusty lad!Copy !req
526. Here comes the lusty lad!Copy !req
527. Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fadCopy !req
528. I feel your pain, bro.Copy !req
529. But don't go grabbing hands.Copy !req
530. You may end up in bed,
but most likely a hospital bed.Copy !req
531. Don't give up,
I know place for you.Copy !req
532. Hand, foot - hold whatever.Copy !req
533. No one will bash you here.Copy !req
534. Come.Copy !req
535. What a neighbourhood!
Virtuous, welcoming women.Copy !req
536. All reaching for my hand,
inviting me home.Copy !req
537. Here I met a serene and
gentle woman, Pepper.Copy !req
538. Pepper, take him
to the honeymoon suite.Copy !req
539. Pepper sat patiently all night.Copy !req
540. For full 6 hours,
I transferred her language files.Copy !req
541. ABC - XYZ, I drew in everything.Copy !req
542. First time? Kaput before you kicked off?Copy !req
543. Y... y... yes!Copy !req
544. Where are you from?Copy !req
545. Far, far away.Copy !req
546. From an unheard of village.Copy !req
547. But you speak my lingo!Copy !req
548. Because I learnt it from you,
Sister.Copy !req
549. Sister! You think
this is a convent? Out!Copy !req
550. Bro!Copy !req
551. Bro, wake up!Copy !req
552. Bro, wake up!Copy !req
553. Bro!Copy !req
554. You're talking!Copy !req
555. Bro, I need your help.Copy !req
556. Pepper cleared up your throat!Copy !req
557. Bro, come with me quick.Copy !req
558. Memory and making out
have a direct connection!Copy !req
559. Update the docs:
Get laid, get well!Copy !req
560. It's urgent, bro!Copy !req
561. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
562. Stop... stop!Copy !req
563. Stop, bro!Copy !req
564. The jerk robbed me right hereCopy !req
565. I need my chain, bro.
I must get it back.Copy !req
566. - Precious?
- It's priceless!Copy !req
567. The thief must be a local.Copy !req
568. But he'll sell
the loot in Delhi.Copy !req
569. If he sold pricey stuff here,
he'd get caught.Copy !req
570. Then I must go.Copy !req
571. Where?Copy !req
572. Delhi.Copy !req
573. - Officer!
- Yeah?Copy !req
574. - My remote control is stolen.
- Are you tipsy?Copy !req
575. Expect the police force
to track your TV remote?Copy !req
576. - It's not a TV remote!
- Then?Copy !req
577. Can't tell you.
But it's like a chain.Copy !req
578. Really precious.Copy !req
579. - Where was it stolen?
- In Mandawa.Copy !req
580. And you're searching
in Delhi, you idiot?Copy !req
581. The thief came to Delhi.Copy !req
582. - So?
- So where's the thief?Copy !req
583. Blockhead!
It's a city of 15 million.Copy !req
584. Police are human, not God.Copy !req
585. Only God can help you.Copy !req
586. Surrender to God,
you'll succeed.Copy !req
587. Only God knows.Copy !req
588. Ask God, not me!Copy !req
589. Trust in God, my child.Copy !req
590. Who was this God chap?
All said only He could help.Copy !req
591. What I saw blew my mind.Copy !req
592. Earthlings had figured out
who had manufactured them!Copy !req
593. Their creator lived with them.
He had millions of houses.Copy !req
594. Earthlings took their problems to Him,
which He solved for a small fee.Copy !req
595. My planet had no such facility.Copy !req
596. I could not believe it!
So decided to test it.Copy !req
597. One take-away God.Copy !req
598. Which one? Rs 20, 50, 100, 500?Copy !req
599. Any difference?
In the Rs 20 and Rs 500 ones?Copy !req
600. Just the size. Otherwise ditto.Copy !req
601. Rs 20 God is equally efficient?Copy !req
602. OK, gimme Rs15! Nothing lessCopy !req
603. God, I am famished.
Get me some food please.Copy !req
604. I went bananas.Copy !req
605. God actually worked!
Now I could go homeCopy !req
606. God, my remote is stolen.Copy !req
607. Please find it.
I want to go home.Copy !req
608. God's battery died.
Worked once, then kaput.Copy !req
609. What do you mean?Copy !req
610. Stick a new battery in.
Where does it go?Copy !req
611. - It needs no battery.
- Then why is it off?Copy !req
612. - Manufacturing defect?
- I make no defective stuff.Copy !req
613. - You made this God?
- Of course! With my own hands.Copy !req
614. You made God, or God made you?Copy !req
615. He made us all -
I only make His statues.Copy !req
616. Why the statues?Copy !req
617. To worship Him.
To voice our problems.Copy !req
618. Is there a transmitter inside?
How can He hear us?Copy !req
619. God needs no transmitter.
He hears directly.Copy !req
620. Directly? Then why the statue?Copy !req
621. What's with him?Copy !req
622. Want to bust my business?
What's your problem?Copy !req
623. My remote is stolen, SirCopy !req
624. I'm requesting God.
But He doesn't reply.Copy !req
625. - Are you tipsy?
- Meaning?Copy !req
626. You're overloading
this pint-sized God.Copy !req
627. His itty-bitty feet
can't chase the thief.Copy !req
628. Bother the big God
inside the temple.Copy !req
629. He'll run fast.Copy !req
630. Offer Him coconut and money -
He'll deliver.Copy !req
631. That'll be Rs 200.Copy !req
632. Earthlings waited with fees
to get their work done.Copy !req
633. Full 2 hours later
I got the appointmentCopy !req
634. God,Copy !req
635. please get my remote back.Copy !req
636. - Where is it?
- Move!Copy !req
637. Wait,
He didn't deliver my stuff.Copy !req
638. He didn't deliver!
See, I paid His fee.Copy !req
639. - Your work will be done.
- But when?Copy !req
640. Can't say when,
but it will be done.Copy !req
641. - Move on.
- But when will I get it?Copy !req
642. Don't block the line, scram!Copy !req
643. If I scram,
someone else may get it.Copy !req
644. Are you tipsy?Copy !req
645. Lady, please!
Where will I get my stuff?Copy !req
646. At the mental hospital!Copy !req
647. What? Cash here,
delivery at mental hospital!Copy !req
648. - Throw him out!
- OK, give me a receipt.Copy !req
649. Out!Copy !req
650. Without a receipt
how do I claim my delivery?Copy !req
651. Get out!Copy !req
652. But my remote?Copy !req
653. Leave!Copy !req
654. I can't find my shoes.Copy !req
655. Someone's taken them.
Now you take your pick.Copy !req
656. Rotation is routine at temples.Copy !req
657. He took the payment,
didn't deliver.Copy !req
658. What's his name?Copy !req
659. - They call Him God.
- Real name?Copy !req
660. No idea.Copy !req
661. Where does he live?Copy !req
662. In that temple.Copy !req
663. - You handed him the cash?
- No. Put it in His box.Copy !req
664. - Said he'd do the job?
- He says nothing.Copy !req
665. Is he mute?Copy !req
666. Perhaps... maybe.Copy !req
667. Oh...Copy !req
668. Describe him.Copy !req
669. Ditto.Copy !req
670. But a bigger chap.Copy !req
671. Come near...Copy !req
672. Are you tipsy?Copy !req
673. Yes. How do you all know?Copy !req
674. Think I'm a jackass?
20 years a cop!Copy !req
675. Who's tipsy who's not
I can tell in a snap.Copy !req
676. Frisk him.Copy !req
677. Let me have a look.Copy !req
678. Dr D'Mello...Copy !req
679. Doc, why get so buzzed
you forget your faith?Copy !req
680. Mistook temple for a church!
Wanna rouse a riot?Copy !req
681. Go to church. To your own God.Copy !req
682. Church?Copy !req
683. Get out of here.Copy !req
684. My stuff! My remote!Copy !req
685. God was crucified for your sins.
Ungrateful man!Copy !req
686. Crucified! When?Copy !req
687. 2,000 years ago. For your sins!Copy !req
688. What did I do? I just got here.Copy !req
689. - Are you tipsy?
- Yes!Copy !req
690. God is watching you. Behave.Copy !req
691. Where?Copy !req
692. Where is God?Copy !req
693. What's in the mug?Copy !req
694. Wine.Copy !req
695. Wine! Now I got it!Copy !req
696. God was bored of coconut water.Copy !req
697. Now He preferred wine.
But wine was expensive.Copy !req
698. So I had to muster money.Copy !req
699. I got some from the dancing car,
some from a gentlemanCopy !req
700. who held out a bowl
of dole everyday.Copy !req
701. You could withdraw as per need.Copy !req
702. Sir, any God house around here?Copy !req
703. Right there.Copy !req
704. Preacher, let me drink
in God's abode.Copy !req
705. Or show me a place
where there is no God.Copy !req
706. Stop! What's that?Copy !req
707. Wine, for God.Copy !req
708. Where is He?Copy !req
709. This lady looked very sad.Copy !req
710. To know why, I grabbed her hand.Copy !req
711. Hitting on a widow, you lech!Copy !req
712. Widow? How do you know?Copy !req
713. Don't you see
she's clad in white?Copy !req
714. Is everything fine?Copy !req
715. Everything is fine.Copy !req
716. Just relax. Smile.Copy !req
717. So sorry your husband's dead.Copy !req
718. - What?
- When?Copy !req
719. How do I know?
You are clad in white.Copy !req
720. Brides wear white!Copy !req
721. No, widows wear white.Copy !req
722. Widows wear black, stupid!Copy !req
723. Now don't stress her out. Go!Copy !req
724. All three lost your husbands?Copy !req
725. I'm alive you moron!
Want a whack?Copy !req
726. After many whacks, I learntCopy !req
727. there wasn't one God.
There were many Gods.Copy !req
728. Each with His own set of rules.Copy !req
729. Each God had floated
His own Company.Copy !req
730. They called it religion.Copy !req
731. Each Company had its own agents.Copy !req
732. All Earthlings belonged to
some religionCopy !req
733. and followed the God
of that religion alone.Copy !req
734. What was my religion,
who was my God?Copy !req
735. To find the remote
I had to know my God.Copy !req
736. What are you doing?Copy !req
737. Where is the label?Copy !req
738. What label?Copy !req
739. The Religion label.Copy !req
740. How do you know which
Company he belongs to?Copy !req
741. Where does God label them?Copy !req
742. Security!Copy !req
743. Finding my religion was tough.Copy !req
744. So I decided to
worship all Gods.Copy !req
745. One of them would be
my God, who'd help me.Copy !req
746. It's You who governs
The world I hear.Copy !req
747. Do listen to my plea
My home beckons me.Copy !req
748. God where are You.Copy !req
749. Tell me where are You.Copy !req
750. You guide back to sanity
Those who've lost their way.Copy !req
751. I too am completely lost
Guide me too, I pray.Copy !req
752. God where are You.Copy !req
753. Tell me where are You.Copy !req
754. Shall I worship You in temples.Copy !req
755. In mosques do my faith I show.Copy !req
756. Or to a gurudwara
would You like me to go.Copy !req
757. Temples and churches,
I looked everywhere.Copy !req
758. My hope now,
has turned to despair.Copy !req
759. My hope now,
has turned to despair.Copy !req
760. My hope now,
has turned to despair.Copy !req
761. Not a single ritual
Did I ever flout.Copy !req
762. Like millions around
I submit without a doubt.Copy !req
763. God where are You.Copy !req
764. Tell me where are You.Copy !req
765. You have many names
And many faces too.Copy !req
766. I've walked each of the myriad
paths which lead to You.Copy !req
767. In no shrine did I find You.Copy !req
768. What else should I do
To find you give a clue.Copy !req
769. What else should I do
To find you give a clue.Copy !req
770. What else should I do
To find you give a clue.Copy !req
771. I blindly follow and
With reverence treasure.Copy !req
772. Your every whim and fancy
In more than ample measure.Copy !req
773. God where are you.Copy !req
774. Tell me where are you.Copy !req
775. God where are you.Copy !req
776. Tell me where are youCopy !req
777. God - I'm all confused.Copy !req
778. What's my fault?
Why can't my voice reach you?Copy !req
779. Understand my plight.Copy !req
780. Give me some guidance.Copy !req
781. Please.Copy !req
782. Shall I talk to you
with hands clasped,Copy !req
783. or on bent knees,
head to the ground?Copy !req
784. Do I wake you
with temple bells?Copy !req
785. Or call out on a loudspeaker?Copy !req
786. The Geeta, the Quran,
the Bible - what do I read?Copy !req
787. Your different managers
say different things.Copy !req
788. Some insist fast on Monday,
others urge on Tuesday.Copy !req
789. Some forbid food after sunset,
some after sunrise.Copy !req
790. Some say, worship the cow.
Others say slaughter her.Copy !req
791. Some send me barefoot to the temple,
some wearing shoes to the church.Copy !req
792. What is right, what is wrongCopy !req
793. I am cluelessCopy !req
794. I'm at breaking pointCopy !req
795. I want to go homeCopy !req
796. I'll do whatever you ask.
Just get me home.Copy !req
797. Please.Copy !req
798. Say something.Copy !req
799. At least one of you...Copy !req
800. give me some answer.Copy !req
801. Please.Copy !req
802. Please.Copy !req
803. Please.Copy !req
804. God.Copy !req
805. God.Copy !req
806. God.Copy !req
807. Why the lock man?Copy !req
808. I gotcha today.Copy !req
809. Open! It's my entry!Copy !req
810. Lord Shiva, slayer of sinsCopy !req
811. who fears none.Copy !req
812. Security! Who are you?Copy !req
813. Don't you recognize me?Copy !req
814. I'm Tipsy!Copy !req
815. Where the hell is security?Copy !req
816. Do I perform
for boozards in the toilet?Copy !req
817. Unlock that door now!Copy !req
818. My remote first!Copy !req
819. - What remote?
- Of my spaceship.Copy !req
820. Space... ship?Copy !req
821. Memory loss?
For the zillionth time,Copy !req
822. I'm not from here.
I'm from a far off planet.Copy !req
823. Scooch!Copy !req
824. Gimme my remote,
and I go home. Got it?Copy !req
825. Brother let me go.
I've little kids at homeCopy !req
826. I know! You fathered two Gods.Copy !req
827. Both are centuries old.
They can be home alone.Copy !req
828. First my remote,
then your family reunion.Copy !req
829. Oh God, save me please...Copy !req
830. There's a God above you too?Copy !req
831. Lord Shiva, help.Copy !req
832. Where?Copy !req
833. Now presenting the dance of Shiva,
the fearless.Copy !req
834. Help!Copy !req
835. Help!Copy !req
836. Help!Copy !req
837. Help!Copy !req
838. Help!Copy !req
839. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
840. Hail Lord ShivaCopy !req
841. I was meditating on the
snowy peaks of the HimalayasCopy !req
842. when, suddenly - light!Copy !req
843. Dazzling light!Copy !req
844. It came from a bead
lying in the snowCopy !req
845. I shut my eyes and invoked God.Copy !req
846. Next moment, I was connectedCopy !req
847. I said, "God, enlighten me,".Copy !req
848. What is this miraculous object,Copy !req
849. that is warm
even in this biting cold?Copy !req
850. God said,Copy !req
851. it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace.Copy !req
852. Take it and enshrine it
in a grand temple.Copy !req
853. Sighting this bead
will heal all suffering.Copy !req
854. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
855. Are you ready for the sighting?Copy !req
856. The divine bead from
Lord Shiva's necklace!Copy !req
857. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
858. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
859. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
860. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
861. Stop.Copy !req
862. Let him through.
He's awed by the sight.Copy !req
863. - Come.
- Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
864. Not there child. Come here.Copy !req
865. Express your ecstasy.Copy !req
866. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
867. Hail Lord ShivaCopy !req
868. God, where are you?
Please step out,Copy !req
869. I want to thank you.Copy !req
870. He's right hereCopy !req
871. I met Him in the toiletCopy !req
872. I asked for my property
and He boltedCopy !req
873. I thought He vamoosed.Copy !req
874. But no!
He led me to my property.Copy !req
875. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
876. This isn't Lord Shiva's bead.Copy !req
877. It's my property,
misdelivered to you.Copy !req
878. Your bead must be
misdelivered too.Copy !req
879. Ask God, He is right here.
God, do step forward, clarify.Copy !req
880. Anyway, I'll take my property.Copy !req
881. That's mine!
Why're you stopping me?Copy !req
882. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
883. Since when have you felt
you're from another planet?Copy !req
884. Listen. You need to see
a psychiatrist.Copy !req
885. Time up! Rs 500 can buy
only this much jail time.Copy !req
886. Here's my card.Copy !req
887. My number's on it. I'll get you
an appointment if you wish.Copy !req
888. Feel free to call. Okay?Copy !req
889. Take care.Copy !req
890. Thank you officer Pandey.Copy !req
891. You don't believe my story?Copy !req
892. Then go back to
the suicidal dog, Nikku.Copy !req
893. That's the story for youCopy !req
894. I need to go back in
for 2 minutes.Copy !req
895. Quit these entry - exits.Copy !req
896. Another Rs 500, he's all yours.Copy !req
897. When did I mention Nikku,
the suicidal dog?Copy !req
898. You didn't.Copy !req
899. So how do you know?Copy !req
900. When you held my hands,
I read your thoughts.Copy !req
901. You thought: This story is deadCopy !req
902. I got to live with the
Nikku story.Copy !req
903. Don't lie!
I must have mentioned itCopy !req
904. I cannot lie.
Lies need language.Copy !req
905. On our planet
we hold hands, read minds.Copy !req
906. - Gimme your hand.
- No way.Copy !req
907. - Try it...
- Help me, son.Copy !req
908. My wife's ill. Hospital wants
a deposit of Rs 10,000Copy !req
909. I'm Rs 500 short.
If you can help...Copy !req
910. I'll give you.Copy !req
911. Here.Copy !req
912. Give your address.
I'll courier a check.Copy !req
913. Courier can't reach my home.
Please keep it.Copy !req
914. Thank you.Copy !req
915. Sir...Copy !req
916. Here's another Rs 100.
For the tip.Copy !req
917. Bless you.Copy !req
918. Confirmed.
You are no mind reader.Copy !req
919. You got conned.
There is no hospital around hereCopy !req
920. I know!Copy !req
921. He's gifting his wife
a five star dinner.Copy !req
922. It's her 75th birthday.Copy !req
923. She'd never been
to a fancy place.Copy !req
924. He's been saving from
his pension for months.Copy !req
925. She ordered ice-cream
and his budget went kaput.Copy !req
926. With a restroom excuse,
he ran out for some bucks.Copy !req
927. Another yarn!Copy !req
928. On our planet, we don't lie.Copy !req
929. Anyway, it's up to you.Copy !req
930. - Here.
- Thank you Sir.Copy !req
931. One moment. Tip him.Copy !req
932. Why hold back -
it's your birthday!Copy !req
933. Thank you.Copy !req
934. Step-well ruinsCopy !req
935. I told you.
On my planet, we don't lie.Copy !req
936. Hope you haven't told anyone...Copy !req
937. that you're an alien?Copy !req
938. No way!Copy !req
939. They'd lock me in a lab,
and rip me up for research!Copy !req
940. How come you told me?Copy !req
941. Ever since
I set foot on this planetCopy !req
942. everyone has taken
money from me.Copy !req
943. You were the first to give it up
for me - dumping Rs 5,000 in a boxCopy !req
944. I thought you are a good egg.
I could trust youCopy !req
945. I'll get your remote back, Tipsy.Copy !req
946. How?Copy !req
947. I haven't figured it out yet,
but you'll go back home.Copy !req
948. That's my promise.Copy !req
949. What are you goggling at?Copy !req
950. You.Copy !req
951. Aliens don't drop by everyday.Copy !req
952. Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?Copy !req
953. Yup, ditto.Copy !req
954. And they roam around naked?
Isn't it weird?Copy !req
955. That crow is naked -
does he look weird?Copy !req
956. If he dons a tie,
he'd look weird.Copy !req
957. Tipsy, I was awake all night...Copy !req
958. thinking how to get
your remote back.Copy !req
959. Hello.Copy !req
960. Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4.Copy !req
961. Wrong number.Copy !req
962. Isn't this Fortis Hospital?Copy !req
963. Since yesterday you've been
dialing this wrong number.Copy !req
964. Impossible!
I can't be wrong every time!Copy !req
965. So how do we get the remote?Copy !req
966. Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4.Copy !req
967. Sorry, Sir.
You've called too late.Copy !req
968. Balbir died this morning.Copy !req
969. Huh! How can a
piles surgery be fatal?Copy !req
970. Embarrassing, but don't worry.Copy !req
971. Death Certificate
will say heart attackCopy !req
972. so the family saves face.Copy !req
973. - Come for the body.
- On my way.Copy !req
974. Ok, bye.Copy !req
975. Why did you say that?Copy !req
976. Doling out joy.Copy !req
977. When he finds his friend alive,
imagine his joy!Copy !req
978. What!Copy !req
979. I was sick of his calls.
So I played a prank.Copy !req
980. - A prank?
- Tipsy, I was just kidding!Copy !req
981. I got it!Copy !req
982. Someone is playing pranks.Copy !req
983. When His Holiness dials God,Copy !req
984. cocking his head,
'God, enlighten me',Copy !req
985. his calls are going
to a Wrong Number.Copy !req
986. Someone out there plays pranks.Copy !req
987. The real God won't call
my remote a bead.Copy !req
988. Looks like the phone lines
to God have gone kaput.Copy !req
989. All calls to God are going
to a Wrong Number!Copy !req
990. As in?Copy !req
991. Think - would the real God
give such weird solutions?Copy !req
992. Like - come rolling to me,
then I'll help you!Copy !req
993. Aren't we God's children?Copy !req
994. Would a father make his kids
roll for help?Copy !req
995. Your Dad ever said - kiddo,
want a new dress? Start rolling!Copy !req
996. Another prank - bathe me
with cow's milk! What bull!Copy !req
997. And if these calls went to
the real God, what would He say?Copy !req
998. He'd say - millions of my children
are starving on streets.Copy !req
999. Give them milk.
Don't give me a lactose showerCopy !req
1000. I'm sure someone's playing
pranks, like you just did.Copy !req
1001. Tipsy thought His Holiness
was a victim of pranks.Copy !req
1002. I didn't clear his confusionCopy !req
1003. for a crazy idea was
forming in my head.Copy !req
1004. An idea that would
get back Tipsy's remote.Copy !req
1005. Who's this Tipsy?Copy !req
1006. That's a mystery.Copy !req
1007. But the way he sees
this world is unique.Copy !req
1008. - As in?
- If he saw you smoking,Copy !req
1009. he'd call the cops to say
you're attempting suicide.Copy !req
1010. Why?Copy !req
1011. The pack says 'Smoking Kills'
yet you puff away.Copy !req
1012. So what's the big idea?Copy !req
1013. Face-off.Copy !req
1014. Between Tipsy and His Holiness.Copy !req
1015. We'll take the face-off to TV.Copy !req
1016. Ratings will go
through the roof!Copy !req
1017. I have three trident marks
on my right bum.Copy !req
1018. You want three more on my
left for balance?Copy !req
1019. Don't worry.Copy !req
1020. Tipsy won't fight His Holiness
but gently explain, that...Copy !req
1021. his calls to God are going to
a Wrong Number.Copy !req
1022. His Holiness will be stumped.Copy !req
1023. Cherry!Copy !req
1024. Tipsy's here.
Just meet him onceCopy !req
1025. I bet his queries
will baffle you.Copy !req
1026. Trust me. Please!Copy !req
1027. Excuse me, you dropped this.Copy !req
1028. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
1029. That's not mine.Copy !req
1030. Kamasutra condoms,
strawberry flavorCopy !req
1031. I hate strawberries, man.
Ask these guys.Copy !req
1032. It's not mine. Buzzed bozo!Copy !req
1033. - Ma'am, yours?
- How dare you!Copy !req
1034. - Check your purse if it's missing.
- Shameless lad!Copy !req
1035. - Has to be yours.
- No, not mine.Copy !req
1036. Tipsy, it's his.Copy !req
1037. Ask him all you want
to know about it. Come on in.Copy !req
1038. What's this?Copy !req
1039. It's a condom.Copy !req
1040. - What does it do?
- Controls the world's population.Copy !req
1041. How?Copy !req
1042. It has to be worn
while having sex.Copy !req
1043. How does your wearing it
control the world's population?Copy !req
1044. Not just me... millions wear it.Copy !req
1045. They all borrow it from you?Copy !req
1046. No. Everyone has it.Copy !req
1047. - I've a question.
- Go on Tipsy, shoot.Copy !req
1048. If money is dropped,
all run for it.Copy !req
1049. If a condom is dropped,
all run away from it. Why?Copy !req
1050. Sex is a very private matter.Copy !req
1051. Why?Copy !req
1052. You don't tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today.Copy !req
1053. But, then at weddings,
with fireworks and music bandsCopy !req
1054. why do they tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today?Copy !req
1055. What's the matter?Copy !req
1056. I have no answer for you
but I have a job for you.Copy !req
1057. Thank you!Copy !req
1058. Let's beat it before
he changes his mind.Copy !req
1059. Shield your holy bum,
Your Holiness.Copy !req
1060. My trident is on its way.Copy !req
1061. At this place His Holiness
connects his devotees to GodCopy !req
1062. for solutions to their woes.Copy !req
1063. Listen carefully to his calls.Copy !req
1064. If you think the calls are going
to a Wrong Number, alert him.Copy !req
1065. - Will that get me my remote?
- Once he realises...Copy !req
1066. the bead story is a prank
he'll return your remote.Copy !req
1067. Good plan. Let's go.Copy !req
1068. To build a home for someone
is a holy deed.Copy !req
1069. To build a home for God
is the holiest deed.Copy !req
1070. So donate for the temple.Copy !req
1071. And see your woes flee.Copy !req
1072. Son, voice your woe.Copy !req
1073. Your Holiness,Copy !req
1074. my wife's been paralyzed
for six months.Copy !req
1075. The doctors have given up.
What shall I...Copy !req
1076. God.Copy !req
1077. Enlighten me.Copy !req
1078. Yes...Copy !req
1079. What place?Copy !req
1080. What transport?Copy !req
1081. Your wish is our command.Copy !req
1082. Have you heard of
the Rathong glacier?Copy !req
1083. No.Copy !req
1084. It's in the Himalayas.
Take a train to SilliguriCopy !req
1085. then a bus to GangtokCopy !req
1086. then an eight day trek.Copy !req
1087. You'll reach a grand temple.Copy !req
1088. Pray there,
your problem will be solved.Copy !req
1089. Wrong Number!
This is a Wrong Number!Copy !req
1090. - What?
- Wrong Number.Copy !req
1091. Your Holiness, your phone line
to God has gone kaput.Copy !req
1092. Your calls are going to
a Wrong NumberCopy !req
1093. and a fake God is
playing pranks.Copy !req
1094. What are you trying to say?Copy !req
1095. I'll explain.
Aren't we God's children?Copy !req
1096. Yes, so?Copy !req
1097. Say your kid's in a jam
and comes to you.Copy !req
1098. Will you help promptly,
or will you sayCopy !req
1099. kiddo, I've another house
2,000 miles away.Copy !req
1100. Come there, tell me
the same problem again.Copy !req
1101. Then I'll solve it. What bull!Copy !req
1102. If the call went to real God, He'd
Son, tend to your ailing wife,Copy !req
1103. don't run after meCopy !req
1104. after death
you'll come to me anywayCopy !req
1105. give her your time now. Right?Copy !req
1106. I can prove it's a prank.Copy !req
1107. Call this fake God
again and ask.Copy !req
1108. What's the guarantee
she will get well.Copy !req
1109. Sir, till you get it in writing,
don't leave her side.Copy !req
1110. Just call, and clear all doubt.Copy !req
1111. It's time for His Holiness'
holy silence.Copy !req
1112. Praise be to God
Glory be to God.Copy !req
1113. This fake God is passing off
my property as a holy bead.Copy !req
1114. He's playing a prank.Copy !req
1115. He is no God. He is a fraud.Copy !req
1116. He is a FRAUDCopy !req
1117. God doesn't talk to us mortals.Copy !req
1118. He communicates
through His managers.Copy !req
1119. - Tipsy has raised a big question.
- What?Copy !req
1120. Is God really talking
to the managers?Copy !req
1121. No.Copy !req
1122. So where do the commands
for us come from?Copy !req
1123. - From a Wrong Number!
- So what should the public do?Copy !req
1124. Till phone lines are fixed,
don't depend on God's managers.Copy !req
1125. Help each other
in difficult times.Copy !req
1126. A great tip from Tipsy:
Don't rely on God's managers.Copy !req
1127. Rely on each other.Copy !req
1128. Hail Lord Shiva.Copy !req
1129. Tipsy says don't make the temple,
the bead belongs to him.Copy !req
1130. What's in your pocket?Copy !req
1131. - Do you smoke?
- Yes.Copy !req
1132. - You consume alcohol?
- Occasionally.Copy !req
1133. You smoke cigarettes,
consume alcoholCopy !req
1134. despite knowing
their fatal effects.Copy !req
1135. Governments
permit these poisons,Copy !req
1136. factories manufacture them,
stores sell them.Copy !req
1137. Nobody questions this.Copy !req
1138. But in this sacred land of
Lord Ram and KrishnaCopy !req
1139. if I wish to build a templeCopy !req
1140. why these questions?Copy !req
1141. Why not question the man
who is trying to stall this temple?Copy !req
1142. Who's this Tipsy?Copy !req
1143. What's his real name?Copy !req
1144. Why's he hiding it?
Is he a Muslim?Copy !req
1145. If question you must,
go ask TipsyCopy !req
1146. what is his religion?Copy !req
1147. Find out his religion,
Find out his faith.Copy !req
1148. Centuries ago,
Mohammad of GhazniCopy !req
1149. came and destroyed our temples.Copy !req
1150. Today another invader
wants to repeat history.Copy !req
1151. But we won't allow...Copy !req
1152. Your God asks my religion.
Let's ask Him...Copy !req
1153. the religions of these people.Copy !req
1154. - What nonsense?
- Call up your God!Copy !req
1155. Why bother God? I'll tell you.Copy !req
1156. This one is a Hindu.
He's a Christian...Copy !req
1157. Sikh, Jain and...Copy !req
1158. that one is of your religion.Copy !req
1159. Enlighten him.Copy !req
1160. Hello. I'm Sikh.Copy !req
1161. Greetings. I'm MuslimCopy !req
1162. I'm Jain.Copy !req
1163. Hi, I'm Christian.Copy !req
1164. Hello! I'm Hindu.Copy !req
1165. Bamboozled!Copy !req
1166. I swapped their robes. Get it?Copy !req
1167. Faith is connected to fashion.Copy !req
1168. Want a demo? Check the math.Copy !req
1169. Beard + moustache + turban = Sikh.Copy !req
1170. Minus turban = Hindu.Copy !req
1171. Minus moustache = Muslim!Copy !req
1172. This difference is
made by the fake God.Copy !req
1173. If real God wanted it,
He'd put a label on us.Copy !req
1174. - Is there a label on your body?
- Mine?Copy !req
1175. Don't gape, strip and check!Copy !req
1176. Why be coy?Copy !req
1177. Strip everyone, show His Holiness.
Is there any label?Copy !req
1178. Cut the coyness.
OK, I'll go first.Copy !req
1179. See the bare facts.Copy !req
1180. Is there a label?Copy !req
1181. Nothing! You see!Copy !req
1182. Check some more...Copy !req
1183. Remove this ruffian.Copy !req
1184. Hey! I'm proving a point.Copy !req
1185. Start the chants!Copy !req
1186. Praise be to God
Glory be to God.Copy !req
1187. That's no divine bead.Copy !req
1188. Jaggu!Copy !req
1189. Stop this farce!Copy !req
1190. Papa!Copy !req
1191. You were all of 40 days, when
His Holiness christened you.Copy !req
1192. Remember, he who gives you
a name, can ruin it too.Copy !req
1193. He named me Jagat Janani.Copy !req
1194. How can he ruin it further?Copy !req
1195. You! Name your price.Copy !req
1196. Papa!Copy !req
1197. Trying to scare His Holiness
to extort money.Copy !req
1198. No, no.Copy !req
1199. You'll burn in Hell!
Fear the wrath of God!Copy !req
1200. Thank you Papa! Thank youCopy !req
1201. I'd solved only half the puzzle.
You pieced it together.Copy !req
1202. Fear is the key.Copy !req
1203. The prankster is
cashing in on fear. Get it?Copy !req
1204. Not exactly,
but can you explain to Papa?Copy !req
1205. You bet! I can prove it.
Follow meCopy !req
1206. I don't have time
for this nonsense.Copy !req
1207. If it turns out to be nonsense,
I'll call off the show.Copy !req
1208. Exams are on at this college.
The students are scared stiff.Copy !req
1209. Now, we'll establish our business -
The Fear Factory.Copy !req
1210. Machine installed.Copy !req
1211. A little seed capital.Copy !req
1212. Now the inauguration.Copy !req
1213. Just watch!
Capital doubles in 15 minutes.Copy !req
1214. Look there.Copy !req
1215. The first customer!Copy !req
1216. Tea... piping hot tea.Copy !req
1217. Check the investment
of the tea vendor.Copy !req
1218. Kettle, tea, sugar, bike,
thermos.Copy !req
1219. And here -
a rock and a red mark.Copy !req
1220. Hot and piping tea...Copy !req
1221. There, you gotta
woo the clients.Copy !req
1222. Here you shoo them away.Copy !req
1223. Hey, scram.
Give others a chance.Copy !req
1224. There you bow
before the customer.Copy !req
1225. Here the customer
bows before you.Copy !req
1226. If he's in deep trouble,
he goes horizontal.Copy !req
1227. The Wrong Number guy
trades in fear.Copy !req
1228. He knows - those in dread
to the temple head.Copy !req
1229. You too seem afraid!
Off with these...Copy !req
1230. Do not question religion.Copy !req
1231. It's a matter of faith!Copy !req
1232. If God didn't want us
to raise questions.Copy !req
1233. He wouldn't give us
the power to reason.Copy !req
1234. Guardians of religion use violence
when they can't answer us.Copy !req
1235. They scare us into silence.
But now we won't be silent.Copy !req
1236. So far one Tipsy raised questions.
Now there'll be a thousand.Copy !req
1237. Friends, pick up your phones.Copy !req
1238. When you spot a Wrong Number,
shoot it and send it to us.Copy !req
1239. We'll put it on TV.Copy !req
1240. Dump your fear, ask questions.Copy !req
1241. Holy Sir!Copy !req
1242. One question.Copy !req
1243. If you can conjure gold
from thin airCopy !req
1244. why don't you end
the nation's poverty?Copy !req
1245. Answer please.Copy !req
1246. Holy Sir!Copy !req
1247. Since you're a walking gold mine,
why ask us for donations?Copy !req
1248. God is great!Copy !req
1249. This is a Wrong Number.Copy !req
1250. - Jaggu... come with me.
- Cherry give me a moment.Copy !req
1251. Come with me.Copy !req
1252. The Wrong Number idea
is a national rage.Copy !req
1253. - What!
- It's spread like wild fire.Copy !req
1254. Guru says - to land a job,
feed a cow.Copy !req
1255. Is this cow
an employment agent?Copy !req
1256. Or posts CVs on Monster.com?
Wrong Number.Copy !req
1257. Watch this one!Copy !req
1258. He says, convert to
Christianity, or be damned.Copy !req
1259. If God wanted,
I'd be Christian by birth.Copy !req
1260. Why convert now? Wrong Number.Copy !req
1261. These girls want to
go to school.Copy !req
1262. A new dictat says:
Kill them if they do.Copy !req
1263. Is God so small,
He'll deny children knowledge?Copy !req
1264. Wrong Number.Copy !req
1265. What God has destined for you
will happen.Copy !req
1266. He has a master plan
for the Universe.Copy !req
1267. Accept it.Copy !req
1268. Your disciples say:
To get a male child,Copy !req
1269. buy this book,
and chant the mantras.Copy !req
1270. So buy a Rs 10 bookCopy !req
1271. and bust God's master plan!Copy !req
1272. Tipsy! Your show's a hit!
Messages are pouring in.Copy !req
1273. Here's one more.Copy !req
1274. What happened?Copy !req
1275. It's Papa. He's ashamed
I'm his daughterCopy !req
1276. I was in tenth gradeCopy !req
1277. when I wrote my first poem.Copy !req
1278. For Papa.Copy !req
1279. They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible,Copy !req
1280. but I'm my Daddy's girlCopy !req
1281. I recited it on the Annual Day.Copy !req
1282. All parents clappedCopy !req
1283. but one whistled with joy.Copy !req
1284. The applause ended,
the whistling continued.Copy !req
1285. It was Papa.Copy !req
1286. He was so proud of me.Copy !req
1287. And now this message.
Ashamed of you.Copy !req
1288. There's a Wrong Number
in your Papa's head.Copy !req
1289. The day he gets rid of it,
he'll whistle for you again.Copy !req
1290. It won't happen.Copy !req
1291. Don't be sad. Come with me.Copy !req
1292. On my planet when people are sad,
know what they do?Copy !req
1293. What?Copy !req
1294. Recharge the battery!Copy !req
1295. - What!
- Just copy me.Copy !req
1296. What are we doing?Copy !req
1297. Shut your eyes!Copy !req
1298. How do I copy then?Copy !req
1299. Right. Keep them open.Copy !req
1300. To steal glances at you all day.Copy !req
1301. To strain for every word you say.Copy !req
1302. To put every chore aside.Copy !req
1303. And follow your every stride.Copy !req
1304. That's nothing but a
waste of time.Copy !req
1305. Love is a waste of time.Copy !req
1306. Amore is nothing more.Copy !req
1307. Love is a waste of time.Copy !req
1308. But my mind and heart insist.Copy !req
1309. Once in this life at least.Copy !req
1310. I must waste my time.Copy !req
1311. Without reason or rhyme.Copy !req
1312. I want to waste my time.Copy !req
1313. I love this waste of time.Copy !req
1314. A zillion peeps into the mirror.Copy !req
1315. A million times
I've styled my hair.Copy !req
1316. Countless sets of
clothes I've tried.Copy !req
1317. Emptied perfume
bottles with flair.Copy !req
1318. Dressing up is all I did
Did nothing else worthwhile.Copy !req
1319. Now I understand.Copy !req
1320. That love is waste of time.Copy !req
1321. But my mind and heart insist.Copy !req
1322. Once in this life at least.Copy !req
1323. I must waste my time.Copy !req
1324. Without reason or rhyme.Copy !req
1325. I want to waste my time.Copy !req
1326. I love this waste of time.Copy !req
1327. My world has topsy-turvy turned.Copy !req
1328. I know not how to tell you.Copy !req
1329. I smile without rhyme or reason.Copy !req
1330. What's happening I have no clue.Copy !req
1331. The mind just wants to soar
And from rooftops yell.Copy !req
1332. Now I understand
Love is a waste of time.Copy !req
1333. But my mind and heart insist.Copy !req
1334. Once in this life at least.Copy !req
1335. I must waste my time.Copy !req
1336. Without reason or rhyme.Copy !req
1337. I want to waste my time.Copy !req
1338. I love this waste of time.Copy !req
1339. The donation box is getting
more questions than cash.Copy !req
1340. Your relics don't sell anymore.Copy !req
1341. Millions of abuses on
Facebook and Twitter.Copy !req
1342. - Just five?
- Those are in support.Copy !req
1343. The abuses are in here.Copy !req
1344. It's time for action, Sir.
Avoiding the issue can be disastrous.Copy !req
1345. God.Copy !req
1346. Call Cherry Bajwa.Copy !req
1347. Tipsy has asked many questions.
I'll ask him just one.Copy !req
1348. - Hey Jaggu.
- What happened?Copy !req
1349. His Holiness wants to come
on the show. To debate with Tipsy.Copy !req
1350. - Tipsy'll rip him!
- It'll be a mother of a show!Copy !req
1351. Get Tipsy ready.
Put the promos out.Copy !req
1352. 'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm.Copy !req
1353. Don't miss, 'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm.Copy !req
1354. My pal's become a star!
Hey look, he's a rock star.Copy !req
1355. Rock star was
roaming butt nakedCopy !req
1356. I made him a star.
The bloke's on TVCopy !req
1357. and me - in this shanty town,
this crappy shackCopy !req
1358. guzzling booze with
a jackass like you.Copy !req
1359. Star my foot!Copy !req
1360. Tipsy, some
Bhairon Singh for you.Copy !req
1361. Bhairon!Copy !req
1362. Take that line.Copy !req
1363. - Bro!
- You lusty lad.Copy !req
1364. You're a rock star!Copy !req
1365. Bro, where are you?Copy !req
1366. In Mandawa.
Coming to Delhi tomorrow.Copy !req
1367. With a gift for youCopy !req
1368. I've nabbed the thief
who stole your stuff.Copy !req
1369. He sold it for 40 grand.Copy !req
1370. - Guess to whom.
- Whom?Copy !req
1371. His Holiness!Copy !req
1372. God said: It's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace. Take it...Copy !req
1373. and enshrine it in a grand temple.
Sighting this bead...Copy !req
1374. Hey,Copy !req
1375. what happened?Copy !req
1376. The thief who stole
my remote is caught.Copy !req
1377. What! Really?Copy !req
1378. Bro said, the thief sold it to
His Holiness.Copy !req
1379. Then His Holiness is finished!Copy !req
1380. We'll tell him -
return the remote,Copy !req
1381. or the thief tells all on TV.Copy !req
1382. So he didn't find my remote
in the Himalayas! He's lying.Copy !req
1383. Wrong Numbers are not
floated by some fake God...Copy !req
1384. but by His Holiness.Copy !req
1385. You knew this Jaggu?Copy !req
1386. Remember the day
you mentioned Wrong Number.Copy !req
1387. All his calls are going
to a Wrong NumberCopy !req
1388. I knew then you were on the
wrong track. But I kept mum.Copy !req
1389. If you'd called him a fraud,
people would have killed you.Copy !req
1390. People crave for the unique.Copy !req
1391. Wrong Number!Copy !req
1392. Your Wrong Number
concept was unique.Copy !req
1393. Today the world supports you.Copy !req
1394. Tipsy, my plan worked!
You're going home!Copy !req
1395. You'll fly away tomorrow,
my friend.Copy !req
1396. Whoosh... gone.Copy !req
1397. We'll never meet again.Copy !req
1398. There will be such a voidCopy !req
1399. I'll really miss you.Copy !req
1400. Shall I stay back?Copy !req
1401. How can you?Copy !req
1402. Simple, I have a jobCopy !req
1403. I'll get some ID made
and settle hereCopy !req
1404. I'll find someone to
'waste time' with meCopy !req
1405. I'll marry her.Copy !req
1406. - Who'll marry you!
- Why not?Copy !req
1407. Your wife will go nuts
introducing you -Copy !req
1408. Meet my husband. He's Tipsy!Copy !req
1409. That's not my name!Copy !req
1410. - Tipsyyy!
- I'll get a real name.Copy !req
1411. Why don't you suggest one?
A name you love.Copy !req
1412. A man's name must
match his personality.Copy !req
1413. Right!Copy !req
1414. So how is my personality?Copy !req
1415. I'll explain.Copy !req
1416. A poet once wrote...Copy !req
1417. Irony of mismatched names...Copy !req
1418. No poetry, please!
I've something to say.Copy !req
1419. Who says 'What's in a name?'.Copy !req
1420. If you don't get the right one,
what a pain.Copy !req
1421. Mr Burns is in fact so cool.Copy !req
1422. With violence alone
Mr Peace does rule.Copy !req
1423. His name is Mr Fox
But has no bushy tail.Copy !req
1424. "I love you Jaggu".Copy !req
1425. One whole ton is the
weight of Mr Flower.Copy !req
1426. At his mere sight,
the poor chair does cower.Copy !req
1427. Very nice... very nice.Copy !req
1428. Here's a bunch of cards
with different names.Copy !req
1429. Pick the one you like.Copy !req
1430. Danduram Thatte?Copy !req
1431. - Disaster!
- Next!Copy !req
1432. Tutari Singh?Copy !req
1433. Phooey!Copy !req
1434. Sarfaraz.Copy !req
1435. - Sarfaraz...
- What happened?Copy !req
1436. Keep going, find a good name.Copy !req
1437. What's the matter?Copy !req
1438. Nothing.Copy !req
1439. "I love you Jaggu".Copy !req
1440. Brother!Copy !req
1441. God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground.Copy !req
1442. God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground.Copy !req
1443. Nowadays He doesn't have
Time to look around.Copy !req
1444. God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground.Copy !req
1445. Whatever may happen here
He does not reprimand.Copy !req
1446. Thousand evils, million wrongs
He does not take a stand.Copy !req
1447. Plundering is all around
Bombs come to hound.Copy !req
1448. A terrorist outfit has claimed
responsibility for the blast.Copy !req
1449. They say this was a mock drill.Copy !req
1450. Persecute our people,
and real war will follow.Copy !req
1451. We shall protect our God.Copy !req
1452. Where are you going, Tipsy?Copy !req
1453. On the show.Copy !req
1454. You don't have toCopy !req
1455. I must. More than ever.Copy !req
1456. 'The Final Question'
Welcome to our special showCopy !req
1457. in which we meet Tipsy...Copy !req
1458. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1459. Bring it.Copy !req
1460. What is this?Copy !req
1461. God says: It's a divine bead
from His necklace.Copy !req
1462. This man claims,
it's his propertyCopy !req
1463. God says: Build a temple.Copy !req
1464. And this man opposes it.Copy !req
1465. Who do I listen to?
God, or this gentlemanCopy !req
1466. who used to hand out these
blasphemous pamphlets?Copy !req
1467. First he claimed,
God is missing.Copy !req
1468. Then said, God is a fraud.Copy !req
1469. Next he'll say, God is dead.Copy !req
1470. What do you want, son?
A world without God?Copy !req
1471. Do you have any clue
how people suffer?Copy !req
1472. No food to eat.Copy !req
1473. No place to live.Copy !req
1474. No friend to talk to.Copy !req
1475. People kill themselves.
Slit their wrists, jump off buildings.Copy !req
1476. Why? Because they have no hope.Copy !req
1477. If bowing before God,
smearing holy ash,Copy !req
1478. wearing amulets,
gives them hope to live,Copy !req
1479. then who are you
to snatch away that hope?Copy !req
1480. And if you snatch away their God,
how will you fill that void?Copy !req
1481. This man rants about
Wrong Numbers.Copy !req
1482. Today he must tell us:
What is the Right Number?Copy !req
1483. You are right, Your Holiness.Copy !req
1484. There was a time
I too had no food to eat.Copy !req
1485. No place to liveCopy !req
1486. I cried a lot
because I had no friendCopy !req
1487. I had only one hope then -Copy !req
1488. God.Copy !req
1489. Each day I hoped:
Tomorrow will be betterCopy !req
1490. God will find a solutionCopy !req
1491. I agree
belief in God gives hope,Copy !req
1492. the strength to face ordeals.Copy !req
1493. But I have one question.Copy !req
1494. Which God shall I believe in?Copy !req
1495. You say there is ONE GodCopy !req
1496. I say no.Copy !req
1497. There are TWO Gods.Copy !req
1498. One who created us.Copy !req
1499. And the other whom you created.Copy !req
1500. We know nothing about
the God who made us.Copy !req
1501. But the God YOU made up,
is just like you.Copy !req
1502. Petty.
Takes bribes, makes false promises.Copy !req
1503. Readily meets the rich,
keeps the poor waiting.Copy !req
1504. Thrives on flattery.
Makes you live in fear.Copy !req
1505. My Right Number is simple.Copy !req
1506. The God who created us all,
believe in Him.Copy !req
1507. The God YOU created -Copy !req
1508. abolish him.Copy !req
1509. Yes!Copy !req
1510. You'll abolish my God
and I'll keep quiet?Copy !req
1511. I know how to protect my God.Copy !req
1512. You will protect God?Copy !req
1513. You!Copy !req
1514. This is a puny planet.Copy !req
1515. Billions of bigger planets
float in space.Copy !req
1516. And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this
puny planet, have the nerve to sayCopy !req
1517. you will protect Him,
who created the Universe?Copy !req
1518. He doesn't need your protection.
He can protect Himself.Copy !req
1519. Today someone tried to
protect God and my friend died.Copy !req
1520. This is all that's left -
his shoe.Copy !req
1521. Stop protecting God.Copy !req
1522. Or this planet will have
no humans, only shoes.Copy !req
1523. A Muslim terrorist
blows up a trainCopy !req
1524. and a Hindu guru endures
your sermon. That's nice.Copy !req
1525. What's this Hindu, Muslim?
Show me the label.Copy !req
1526. You created these differences.
Not God.Copy !req
1527. This is the deadliest
Wrong Number of this planet.Copy !req
1528. It kills people, separates them.Copy !req
1529. Like your Wrong Number
separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz.Copy !req
1530. - What Wrong Number?
- That Sarfaraz will betray.Copy !req
1531. He did betray her.Copy !req
1532. - What's going on?
- Hold it.Copy !req
1533. You say my prediction
about Sarfaraz was wrong?Copy !req
1534. Exactly!Copy !req
1535. Then prove it -
prove my prophecy wrong!Copy !req
1536. Failing that,
fall at my feet and admitCopy !req
1537. that you are a liar.
You tried to defame me.Copy !req
1538. What if I prove it?Copy !req
1539. Tipsy... don't!Copy !req
1540. Then this is yoursCopy !req
1541. I accept.Copy !req
1542. Turn the cameras towards
Jagat JananiCopy !req
1543. I hope you will answer
my questions truthfully.Copy !req
1544. In Belgium you fell in love
with a Pakistani boy.Copy !req
1545. True or false?Copy !req
1546. Please spare my personal life.Copy !req
1547. On Friday, at 3:21 pm
I predicted this boy will betray you.Copy !req
1548. The next day you went to the
Marriage Registrar's officeCopy !req
1549. but he didn't show up.Copy !req
1550. True or false?Copy !req
1551. Yes, he didn't come.
Please stop this.Copy !req
1552. Now will you come to my feet
or do I walk my feet to you?Copy !req
1553. - Sarfaraz did not betray.
- Please let it go!Copy !req
1554. No. Tell us
what happened that day.Copy !req
1555. Please!Copy !req
1556. Just once, for my sakeCopy !req
1557. I was at the Marriage
Registrar's office andCopy !req
1558. a letter was brought to me.Copy !req
1559. Did Sarfaraz bring it?Copy !req
1560. No. He sent it through a kid.Copy !req
1561. - Was it signed?
- No.Copy !req
1562. How do you know
Sarfaraz sent it?Copy !req
1563. It could have been
for some other girl.Copy !req
1564. There was another girl.
With a cat, right?Copy !req
1565. She gave you the cat
to hold for a while.Copy !req
1566. The kid who gave you the letter-
did he know you?Copy !req
1567. - No!
- Did you know him?Copy !req
1568. No.Copy !req
1569. Then how would he know
the letter was for you?Copy !req
1570. Maybe he was told to give
the letter to the girl with the cat.Copy !req
1571. You read the letter,
but didn't call Sarfaraz.Copy !req
1572. Did you?Copy !req
1573. Because this man planted
a Wrong Number - that Muslims betray.Copy !req
1574. Sarfaraz didn't betray you.Copy !req
1575. What's going on?Copy !req
1576. You expect us to believe
these cat and bull stories?Copy !req
1577. One minute.Copy !req
1578. We'll get to the truth right now.
Call Sarfaraz.Copy !req
1579. Hurry up!Copy !req
1580. This number does not exist.Copy !req
1581. Any other number?
Friend, college, something?Copy !req
1582. - C'mon Jaggu!
- Belgium University.Copy !req
1583. - Hello.
- Hello!Copy !req
1584. I actually need to get in touch with
one of your grad students.Copy !req
1585. Sarfaraz Yousuf.Copy !req
1586. Oh yeah.
He left for Pakistan last year.Copy !req
1587. Has he left a number?Copy !req
1588. Sorry, we are not authorized
to give out information.Copy !req
1589. This is really important.Copy !req
1590. E-mail us your request and
I can forward it to Student Affairs.Copy !req
1591. Have a nice day dear.Copy !req
1592. His Pakistan number?Copy !req
1593. - Don't know.
- Think, Jaggu darlingCopy !req
1594. I work at the Pakistan Embassy.Copy !req
1595. His job -
Pakistan Embassy, Belgium.Copy !req
1596. Mitu, call the Pakistan Embassy,
Belgium.Copy !req
1597. - Copy sir.
- Put it on the speakers.Copy !req
1598. Greetings. Pakistan Embassy.Copy !req
1599. Hello.Copy !req
1600. A student from Lahore
worked with you.Copy !req
1601. - Sarfaraz Yousuf.
- Is your name Jaggu?Copy !req
1602. Hello... is your name Jaggu?Copy !req
1603. How do you know?Copy !req
1604. She's called!
The girl from Delhi has called.Copy !req
1605. Farah, it's Jaggu calling.Copy !req
1606. Mr Sayyed, hurry,
it's Jaggu's call from India.Copy !req
1607. On the double everyone!Copy !req
1608. Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us
from Lahore, every day at 9 am.Copy !req
1609. And with impeccable politeness
asks just one question:Copy !req
1610. Was there a call for me
from India - from Jaggu?Copy !req
1611. We say "No", and he disconnects.Copy !req
1612. He's driven us crazy.Copy !req
1613. Wait. I'll connect you to him.Copy !req
1614. Hello...Copy !req
1615. - Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf?
- Yes, speaking.Copy !req
1616. - Where are you?
- In Lahore. Why?Copy !req
1617. - Where are you right now?
- At home. Why?Copy !req
1618. Is there a chair or
a bench nearby?Copy !req
1619. Please sit down.
You're about to get a jolt.Copy !req
1620. Pardon me?Copy !req
1621. You have a call from Delhi.Copy !req
1622. Please speak here.Copy !req
1623. Hello...Copy !req
1624. Sarfaraz...Copy !req
1625. Jaggu...Copy !req
1626. Hello...Copy !req
1627. hello Jaggu, what's the matter?Copy !req
1628. Had you come to the
Marriage Registrar's office?Copy !req
1629. I had, but you had left.Copy !req
1630. Why didn't you call?Copy !req
1631. I got your letter.
You'd said, 'Don't contact me'Copy !req
1632. I knew you were
under family pressure.Copy !req
1633. But deep down I knew,
one day you would contact me.Copy !req
1634. What took you so long?Copy !req
1635. I am sorry.
I had your Wrong Number.Copy !req
1636. Just got the right number
from a friend.Copy !req
1637. Thank you son.Copy !req
1638. Here, hold this.Copy !req
1639. Tipsy! You're taking
batteries home?Copy !req
1640. - Don't get them there.
- So many! For what?Copy !req
1641. Back home, I'll listen
to the sounds I've recorded.Copy !req
1642. What sounds?Copy !req
1643. Earth sounds -
crows, traffic honking.Copy !req
1644. Up there, you'll listen
to cars honking?Copy !req
1645. Now and then -
when I miss this planet.Copy !req
1646. Hey, wait! There's one more bag.Copy !req
1647. Forget it, Tipsy!Copy !req
1648. You kidding?
It's stuffed with batteries.Copy !req
1649. Wait!Copy !req
1650. Driver... please stop!Copy !req
1651. Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?Copy !req
1652. And they roam around naked?Copy !req
1653. Why are you staring?
Something on my face?Copy !req
1654. I was in tenth grade,
when I wrote my first poem,Copy !req
1655. for Papa.Copy !req
1656. They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible...Copy !req
1657. Poetry means
sparse words, soaring thoughts.Copy !req
1658. Pal, you're really cute.Copy !req
1659. Here's to the
teetotaler called Tipsy.Copy !req
1660. Who says "What's in a name?"Copy !req
1661. No tape had sounds of
crows or traffic honking.Copy !req
1662. Every tape had just my voice.Copy !req
1663. "I love you Jaggu".Copy !req
1664. Got it!Copy !req
1665. He sure made me run!Copy !req
1666. Tipsy, what's in these tapes?Copy !req
1667. Told you -
crows, traffic honking.Copy !req
1668. Every night, when your planet
rises, I'll play these tapes.Copy !req
1669. And wave at you. Like this.Copy !req
1670. Will you wave back...
now and then?Copy !req
1671. Haven't you recorded my voice?Copy !req
1672. Your voice?Copy !req
1673. I think I have...
that one poem you recited.Copy !req
1674. One poem? That's it?Copy !req
1675. I'm not exactly
in love with you...Copy !req
1676. to waste all my time over you!Copy !req
1677. He didn't look back. Not once.Copy !req
1678. He was hiding his tears.Copy !req
1679. One thing he learnt from us.
One thing he taught us.Copy !req
1680. He learnt from us how to lie...Copy !req
1681. and taught us how to love.Copy !req
1682. He loved me enough to let me go.Copy !req
1683. He came here naked.
As children do.Copy !req
1684. Asked a lot of questions.
As children do.Copy !req
1685. And then one day...Copy !req
1686. he went away.Copy !req
1687. Four billion miles away.Copy !req
1688. He left me two parting gifts.Copy !req
1689. SarfarazCopy !req
1690. and Papa.Copy !req
1691. Till I live... every night I'll look
at his planet and waveCopy !req
1692. I'm sure, he'll do the sameCopy !req
1693. I miss him.Copy !req
1694. Fellow astronauts,
prepare to land on Earth.Copy !req
1695. Remember the four
Earth Survival Commandments.Copy !req
1696. Do not roam around naked.Copy !req
1697. Cuddling, making love etc.
Must be done in closed rooms.Copy !req
1698. But fighting, making war etc.
Is allowed in the open.Copy !req
1699. Beware of language,
it's confusing.Copy !req
1700. If Earthlings say,
'I love chicken and fish, 'Copy !req
1701. it doesn't mean
they love animals,Copy !req
1702. but that animals are
on the lunch menu.Copy !req
1703. The gap between thought and
speech is our topic of research.Copy !req
1704. On landing,
find dancing cars for clothes.Copy !req
1705. Hide your remotes deep in your
underwear, safe from thievesCopy !req
1706. the mother commandment.Copy !req
1707. If anyone says:
I'll connect you to God,Copy !req
1708. dump the research, take a U-turn
and run for your life.Copy !req
1709. Come, don't be afraid.Copy !req
1710. What are you goggling at?Copy !req
1711. - I have a question.
- What?Copy !req
1712. On your last visit,
how often were you whacked?Copy !req
1713. - What's this?
- Self-defense!Copy !req
1714. Safety gadgets?Copy !req
1715. - Let's go.
- Not there! This way.Copy !req
1716. Kaput!Copy !req