1. It seems like only yesterday the
party would go on forever
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2. but in just 12 short months,
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3. the place known as americas
spring break capital
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4. has become a virtual ghost town
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5. who can forget the devastating attack
on lake victoria, that left scores
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6. of people dead, and a community in shock
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7. and who could have guessed that
this hell on earth would be rocked
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8. by a species of Piranha believed extinct
for the last 2 million years
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9. a massive eradication program
has left these waters
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10. teeming with life
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11. silent and dead
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12. after a massive exous that left
most property abandoned
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13. the local econemy fell into ruin
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14. lake victoria is now a quarantine area
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15. only weeds grow on the beaches
where thousands once soaked up the sun
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16. and the only boats that remain, are
dusty relics littering the shoreline
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17. as we look back on the anniversary
of this tragic event
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18. were left to wonder, if it happened here
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19. can it happen again.
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20. and if so,
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21. where?
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22. Sarah
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23. Sarah... hollering aint gonna do
you a damn bit of good
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24. I got my foot stuck in a rut
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25. there she is right there
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26. is she dead?
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27. thats a big old cow aint it...
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28. yeah she took second place
at county last year
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29. what the hell...
theres somethin laying on her belly
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30. shine the light on the belly
see whats going on
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31. theres something in there...
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32. holy flying babyshit
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33. damn piece of crap
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34. I think I got a lighter
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35. that smell would knock a
buzzard off a dump truck
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36. fudge, thats the gassiest damn
cow I ever seen
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37. ahh... shit shit shit
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38. Carl
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39. carl, get away
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40. hey, its time to get wet again
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41. comeon down. Our lifeguards are hot,
single, and ready to party
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42. with someone like you
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43. so if you wanna cool off,
comeon down to the hottest hole in town
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44. 3 words for you... the big wet
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45. and remember, double D swims free
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46. oh boy, hold on... cut it
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47. hey
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48. hi
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49. ive got to cut something
off at the pass
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50. here you go, keep them wet
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51. and are you guys friends of someone?
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52. Maddie...
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53. get over here and give
your step dad a hug
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54. Chet, tell me you did not fire our
old lifeguards and replace them with...
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55. strippers
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56. water certified strippers...
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57. really...
more than that pumpkin
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58. unbelievable. Listen, before your
sweet momma died, god rest her soul
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59. she made me promise her
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60. to keep this waterpark running
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61. and im just gonna make sure that
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62. I provide for you aswell as she did
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63. im your daddy now
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64. were so lucky to have each other
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65. wow ched, sometimes I really think you
beleive whats comign out of your mouth
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66. baby doll you are gonna love this...
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67. adult pool,
go ahead
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68. we are gonna make bank on this
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69. what do you think?
I think this is a very expensive joke
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70. worlds first strip bar at a waterpark
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71. thats a stroke of genious,
franchising baby
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72. no no no no,
oh don't worry about that
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73. install a little extra chlorine
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74. and sulphuric acid in the pool
it sanitises everything
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75. hey kiki
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76. why don't you get your
shapely ass out of the pool
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77. russian... shes a doctor
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78. now keep your eyes over there,
on the flat screen T.V
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79. I call this the cooch cam...
but im open to suggestions
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80. check it out
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81. thats disgusting.-do not touch it
- im getting rid of it
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82. thats not your call
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83. don't you forget that im still
half owner of this place
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84. ohh... is that right?
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85. raise your hand if you own 51 %...
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86. of this... waterpark
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87. now raise your hand if you
have 49 % minority on it...
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88. thats you
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89. hey
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90. hey maddie
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91. how are you... whats new?
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92. well, this is the summer. Shall
we finally abstain from abstinence
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93. shes afraid to have sex because her
cousin gave birth to a flipper baby
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94. stop it
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95. that didn't happen
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96. here he comes
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97. here he comes
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98. the boy whos going to pop her cherry
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99. he just doesn't know it yet
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100. hey maddie
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101. what do you think of all the
new changes around here?
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102. Josh, meet me at the lake
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103. alright, see yah, cool
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104. - what am I? the last guy to know your back?
- hi...
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105. how are you? I missed you
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106. oh me too. Bet you wish you were still
in grad school for the summer huh?
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107. I cant believe what cheds done
I know
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108. this place is everything to me
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109. working here... hanging out.
I know
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110. I miss those moments too
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111. so look, now that your back...
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112. hey you guys, are you sure
thats such a good idea?
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113. there better not be any underage
drinking going on here
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114. here you go pal
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115. come on man
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116. im on duty
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117. cant be drinking
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118. you got fireworks...
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119. indecent exposure...
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120. probable drugs...
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121. definite drugs
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122. I might just have to write you up
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123. I don't see what he has,
that I don't have...
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124. 6 inches and a badge?
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125. I heard you were back in town,
so I figured id stop by and say hey
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126. and I feel I should say something
about the last time we talked
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127. no, you don't have to
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128. long distance relationships...
there weird
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129. your back now
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130. for the summer
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131. should be an interesting summer
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132. ok
- welcome back
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133. - I had fun at the party tonight.
- yeah me too
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134. I love the water
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135. its uhh... really wet
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136. what are you thinking about?
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137. nothing much
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138. hey, lets take off all our
clothes and go swimming
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139. uhh... ok cool, sure
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140. turn around...
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141. Shelby?
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142. Shelby?
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143. Shelby!
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144. you coming in or what?
yeah im coming
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145. no funny stuff ok
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146. you want some of this...
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147. you want some?
your not supposed to splash me back
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148. what?
I just felt something against me
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149. is that you?
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150. what are you talking about?
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151. ow, what are you doing?
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152. I didn't...
well whatever it is, I don't like it
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153. I didn't do anything
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154. shelby, where are you going?
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155. im cold im getting out
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156. you have to do it
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157. ok fine
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158. dear lord
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159. come on
ok. Dear lord
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160. please forgive us for what
we are about to do
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161. we both know that having
relations before marriage is
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162. a sin, but
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163. we know that we will be forgiven
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164. for it because...
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165. were praying about it
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166. - Amen.
- Amen.
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167. you can fuck me now
- amen
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168. ohh
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169. look at this
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170. you like that?
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171. mine... aha,
don't make me cuff the other 1
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172. were moving travis...
I know.
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173. no, look you idiot
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174. Ashley, are you ok?
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175. the waters coming in, shit
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176. give me the key for the cuff
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177. ugh, it must have fallen out
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178. find it now
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179. where is it... shit shit shit
damn it
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180. key for the damn cuff...
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181. I should go for help
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182. - no.
- I cant see anything
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183. im sorry
- Ashley!
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184. hit the light and keep looking
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185. im scared... what are you doing?
get over here
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186. Ashley.
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187. im gonna get some help
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188. get back here
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189. what are you doing?
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190. Ashley!
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191. Travis!
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192. Travis!
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193. Travis!
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194. theres something in the water
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195. help...
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196. anybody...
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197. ashley
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198. Ashley!
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199. travis... come on are you there?
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200. Travis!
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201. Travis!
Travis!
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202. Travis!
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203. Ashley!
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204. oh my god
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205. oh my...
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206. help
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207. please, is anybody out there
anybody...
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208. im sorry I just...
no its cool
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209. I don't mind hanging out
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210. oh no its not you, its just that...
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211. do you think ashleys
prettier than me?
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212. no
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213. most guys do
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214. yeah well I... ive never been into
girl with big breasts
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215. welcome back maddie
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216. Dave.
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217. yoh man, what the fuck you doing?
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218. the hole where the
water comes out...
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219. oh god man
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220. shes so wet...
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221. hey shelby
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222. have you seen ashley or travis? neither
one of them punched in this morning
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223. no, I havent seen either of them
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224. I don't know.
just a sec
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225. you ok?
I just feel a little weird
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226. here let me help you
no im fine
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227. you ok?
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228. look who has morning sickness
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229. nice work papa
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230. nobody was inside shel
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231. im sure there fine
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232. probably just shaken up and
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233. scared there gonna get in trouble
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234. comeon ash
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235. pick up
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236. hey... its ash leave a message
shit
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237. call me
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238. is there anywhere else they
might have gone?
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239. no, umm
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240. im just gonna go
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241. Ashleys my best friend
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242. I mean...
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243. I know shes kind of a slut
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244. she stole one of my ex
boyfriends, and
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245. im pretty sure she stole
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246. a pair of ear rings my grandmother
gave me before she died
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247. but... we were like sisters
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248. what is that?
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249. Oh my god
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250. we have to get off this
thing right now. Hurry
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251. come on Shelby.
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252. quick comeon ive got you
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253. quickly
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254. lets go, were almost there
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255. careful
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256. no no no
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257. come back Shelby.
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258. come here
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259. come this way quick
your going to have to jump
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260. Come on you have to jump
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261. I cant jump from here
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262. quit it
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263. lets go
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264. ive got you
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265. what is this thing
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266. Maddie...
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267. what the fuck is that?
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268. oh shit
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269. is that a fucking Piranha?
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270. my father worked construction
on carson dam
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271. they found fossils like this
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272. when they first broke ground
he gave me this on my 8th birthday
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273. im telling you man, it was a Piranha
howd it get from lake victoria to our lake?
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274. thats what weve got to find out
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275. what?
look at us
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276. the cop and the marine biologist
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277. im sorry, it just sounds
like a shitty sitcom
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278. the cop and the marine biologist
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279. your still wet
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280. a little yeah
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281. will you ask coony to open the door
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282. Kyle, open the door
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283. yoh man
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284. thats funny, dick
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285. who are you?
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286. why are you here?
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287. im sorry, we saw you on youtube...
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288. you and 11 million 486 other people
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289. I have 700 more hits than
the laughing diarrhea baby
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290. we need your expertees mr goodman
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291. why?
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292. we think there back...
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293. false lake isnt even connected
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294. to lake Victoria
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295. the piranha must be migrating
through underground lakes and rivers
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296. ive studied this specimen for
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297. almost a year
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298. I think you might
find this interesting
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299. can I get some help here
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300. ok
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301. this is galvanised steel
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302. like ordinary household plumbing
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303. there we go
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304. aha, now for some incentive
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305. no no no, not the frog
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306. sorry they sold out of
puppys this morning
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307. now, I think this is
quite resourceful, watch
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308. now its got something to grab
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309. its a frog
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310. Barry, are you crazy?
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311. you almost lost a hand
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312. I had a pet frog once
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313. uhh
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314. can you give me...?
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315. really?-now to check on some data
- what were you thinking?
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316. these Piranha spent eons
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317. living in underground lakes
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318. full of sulphur dioxide
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319. from all the geo thermal activity
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320. thats how they come back to spawn
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321. - they followed the wrong lake somehow?
- yes
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322. problem is sulphur dioxide
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323. is probably released during
the treatment of chlorinated water
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324. so its conceivable
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325. that the fish could become confused
and try to enter man made drainage systems
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326. especially with an abundance
of backyard pools
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327. our waterpark drains directly into
false lake. Thats the equivalent
of like a thousand swimming pools
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328. that would be a very bad thing
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329. did you tell anyone
that this could happen?
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330. I tried, unfortunately I lost
some credibility after my last book
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331. that foretold plague of
dreadful walking fish
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332. oh thats right
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333. you wrote the fish walk among us
I love that book
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334. its really great
why thank you
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335. kindred spirit
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336. thanks
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337. Barry.
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338. you ah... you read a
marine biology book?
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339. I wanted to see what you
were so interested in
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340. look guys, we have to check the drains
and the outflow pipe into the lake tonight
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341. I can get a dive team up
here from tempy by tomorrow
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342. no its too late, the waterpark opens
tomorrow, that place is going to be packed
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343. if the fish are gettign
through the drain system
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344. that would make lake victoria
look like an appetizer
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345. guys weve got to get
out there right now
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346. thank you so much for
your help mr Goodman.
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347. oh thank you
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348. thank you sir, an honour
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349. be well, alright
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350. aha... 11 million 888 hits
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351. take that laughing diarrhea baby
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352. 2 local teens, ashley sorby
and travis mitchell
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353. were reported missing this morning
after there van was pulled out of
cross lake
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354. thanks for letting me stay here
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355. its totally cool
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356. how you feeling?
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357. a little better
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358. you don't seem any better
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359. hey what is it?
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360. just the stress of the
whole ashley thing
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361. make love to me
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362. please...
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363. right now?
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364. please josh
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365. I think something is
really wrong with me
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366. if I don't get better,
I don't want to die a virgin
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367. please josh, I want it to be with you
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368. cum inside me
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369. cum inside me, ill do whatever
you say after that
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370. the outflow pipe leads directly to
the waterpark, ive got to check them out
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371. you considered how bat shit
crazy this is right?
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372. I got to take a look,
ill be quick
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373. umm, look, about what I was
trying to say last night...
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374. are you coming in?
cos I could really use a spotter
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375. I mean... if your... its ok
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376. no no no, im not scared its just
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377. umm, cant swim
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378. you work at a waterpark
and you cant swim?
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379. ding ding. What about all the
beach partys in high school
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380. the partys at the park... never?
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381. oh my god barry, I totally would have
taught you how to swim
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382. yeah I know, you seemed
kind of busy at the time
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383. not a big deal.
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384. toss me that flashlight
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385. yes I know
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386. thats what I said
alright ill find you
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387. are you sure you want
to do this? no
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388. fuck off Kyle!
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389. oh yes... Barry cant swim
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390. - Maddie...
- Maddie!
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391. swim Maddie
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392. get out of the way, get back
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393. are you ok?
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394. I think so
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395. don't worry, I wont break
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396. im sorry.
its ok, its ok
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397. its good, go on
oh god shelby, look at me
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398. somethings wrong
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399. no somethings wrong
- almost there
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400. what the fuck is on my dick...
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401. ohh... oh my god
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402. Josh!
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403. im feeling a little better now
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404. Josh, Josh.
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405. Josh.
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406. I think I had an accident
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407. Josh.
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408. josh what are you doing?
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409. oh my god
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410. Josh.
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411. Josh.
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412. Josh!
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413. Josh!
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414. what the hell did you do to me?
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415. ohh... you almost going 70
back there buddy
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416. don't you have somewhere else better
to be, like boning my step daughter?
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417. ill get to that, first things first
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418. your all good,
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419. for now
oh your looking for a raise?
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420. with any luck, your little theme parks
going to take off and I wont have
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421. to live off a deputys salary forever
so, we good here?
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422. yeah, did you check those
airflow pipes at the lake?
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423. Maddie did.
nearly got herself killed
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424. what about the grates...
they still intact?
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425. should be good, unless theres
another way into the park?
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426. like that bootleg well you drilled
- don't you worry about that
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427. I do worry ched
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428. im the one protecting your unlaweful ass
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429. let me tell you something.
why don't you worry about keeping
maddie and johny law off my ass alright
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430. ill take care of my waterpark
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431. have a nice night deputy
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432. you too ched
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433. ohh by the way...
what in the hells this?
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434. I told you, you were speeding
- are you shittin me?
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435. just doing my job
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436. weird crooked cop
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437. what a night huh...
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438. do umm...
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439. you and kyle, you guys
getting back together or...
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440. no definetly not
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441. I don't think so,
probably not
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442. you showed real decisiveness on that one,
you know that right?
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443. I kinda did, didn't I
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444. Josh cut off his penis because
somethig came out of my vagina
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445. should be coming to shortly,
so the nurse is going to take
you guys back there
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446. you guys can probably go.
josh is still sedated
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447. and im going to stick around
to get a statement
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448. ill let you guys know if
I find anything out ok
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449. hows shelby? shes not making a
whole lot of sense right now
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450. but ill keep an eye on her too
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451. how about you?
you alright?
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452. im pretty tired.
get some rest and ill call you
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453. aww that is so sad
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454. come to bed hoffy, its nappy time
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455. im rochelle
im dawn
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456. right
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457. yeah lets party
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458. welcome to Rock Bottom.
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459. wait
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460. I don't know if I can do this
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461. all you got to do
is baby steps
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462. just little baby steps
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463. what the hell you talking
about baby steps for?
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464. incase you havent noticed,
fish ate my damn legs
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465. I hate the water, I hate it
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466. remember what dr smith said, this is
all about our road to recovery
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467. well start out with a
harmeless little kiddy pool
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468. whats the worst that can happen?
couple of kids wizzin thats all
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469. kids wizzin?
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470. I can handle that
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471. im not afraid of
some punk ass water
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472. im not afraid of
some punk ass water
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473. I cant
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474. don't worry about it,
we'll figure out somethig else
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475. no its weak,
dump me in the water
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476. what?
you heard what I said...
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477. get behind the chair, grab the handles,
and dump my sorry ass in the water
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478. the way parents toss their kids into
the pool when they want them to swim
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479. isnt a bad idea.
ok I can do this
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480. 1... 2...
stop
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481. ok right what happened?
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482. whyd you stop?
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483. you said to stop...
no don't listen to my pussy ass mouth
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484. no matter what I say,
dump me in the water
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485. ok got it. Not going to listen
to your pussy ass mouth
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486. I mean, you don't have a pussy ass mouth,
im just saying... dump me in the water
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487. ok here we go,
1... 2... 3
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488. aww shit no no,
I changed my mind
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489. - no no no, your going in.
- I changed my mind,
I don't want to go in the water
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490. - your going in.
- no I don't want to go in
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491. your going in
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492. hey, leave him alone.
no he wants to go in
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493. no the hell I do,
I don't want to go in
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494. whats wrong with you? don't push
that poor legless stump into the pool
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495. whats wrong with you? don't push
that poor legless stump into the pool
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496. yeah thast right, don't dump this
poor legless stump in the pool
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497. ok you know what...
your going to go into the water
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498. no I don't want to go
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499. not cool man.
im not afraid of some punk ass water
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500. not cool at all
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501. ladys and gentlemen, boys and girls
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502. hot moms of all ages.
welcome to the big wet
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503. and now, the moment youve
all been waiting for
Copy !req
504. they most famous
lifeguard of all time
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505. who wants to party with the hoff?
welcome
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506. David Hasselhoff.
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507. there he is
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508. david hasselhoff
- ladies
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509. ladies, if you play
your cards right
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510. you might get some
private mouth to mouth resuscitation
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511. alright, without any further adieu
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512. lets all get wet... and... wild
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513. I knew it
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514. what are you doing
back here maddie?
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515. I saw this when I was taking inventory
but didn't think to ask why it was here
untill now
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516. we pump our own water now,
fuck the utilities right...
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517. you cant fill this
waterpark off a well
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518. its not a standard well
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519. we drilled down a whole lot further,
hit an underwater lake
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520. we got enough water to
last us till kingdom come
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521. you have no idea what youve done
- oh sure I do
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522. I got us a nice fat profit
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523. you don't understand...
you could be pumping piranha
straight through the intake pipes
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524. Maddy, hôm nay là ngày khai truong.
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525. maddie
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526. its opening day, I have shelled
out 100 thousand dollars
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527. and you want me to close shop because
there might be piranha in the pipe?
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528. what else?
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529. ghosts... boogeyman...
sharks... snakes
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530. your laughable,
laughable
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531. come on kid
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532. youve been watching too many
movies little girl. You should
read romance novels
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533. are we done?
I got work to do
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534. mommy I got bit
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535. let me see
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536. oh honey you just scraped
yourself on something, go tell
a lifeguard hell get you a bandaid
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537. no mom it was a piranha
- it was not piranha
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538. there are too many people
talking about piranh, now scoot
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539. hello... hello
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540. hey
- hey
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541. I got bit y a piranha
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542. - whats your name kid?
- David.
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543. David.
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544. thats pretty cool, that
my name too David.
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545. what... whats this?
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546. its an autograph
- can I just have a bandaid?
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547. wait a minute,
you don't know who I am? no
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548. you never saw baywatch?
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549. running in slow motion...
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550. how about night rider?
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551. the talking car... anaconda 3,
jekyll and hyde on broadway
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552. mr Hasselhoff. Hey back off toro
im talking to my main man here huh
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553. you really have no idea who I am?
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554. yeah... your a lifeguard
and I need a bandaid
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555. can I get a bandaid for my
main man david here please
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556. spongebob... im just going to
get a bandaid somewhere else
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557. im a lifeguard
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558. I saw a fish
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559. in the splash pool, I know this is
crazy but it was a piranha like
the ones on the news I swear to god
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560. hey... everyone out of the pool
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561. you have to get them out
of the pool right now
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562. hey... no running
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563. game over ched, we gotta shut
the waterfront down right now
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564. what part of no fucking way
don't you hear?
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565. a woman saw a piranha in the splash pool
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566. did you see it?
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567. did you see it... no but...
youve got nothing thats what but
Copy !req
568. im evacuating this waterfront
weather you like it or not
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569. Maddie maddie maddie
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570. cheds right, your just going
to cause more panic
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571. im sorry... whos side are you on?
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572. im on the side of being calm,
now lets just go check things out ok
Copy !req
573. you don't believe me, im the one
who called you, and you don't
fucking believe me
Copy !req
574. come on kids get out of the pool,
please get out of the water
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575. I cant...
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576. I cant let you do that
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577. let go of me...
what the fuck you doing? let her go
Copy !req
578. what you going to
do shark boy, huh?
Copy !req
579. pump me with your fucking trident
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580. im going to give you a little
piece of advice buddy, your
going to need a bigger one
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581. come on, go
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582. can you believe it? there back.
they find you, they always find you
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583. no matter where you go
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584. bring me my legs
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585. titanium mother fuckers
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586. eat this
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587. I hate the water,
I hate the fish
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588. help me, help
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589. hey people are dying, your a
lifeguard, do something
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590. im not a lifeguard, never was one
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591. help me help me
lifeguard...
Copy !req
592. theres still kids going down slides.
once these idiots get out of the water
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593. its not as if the fish are
going to follow them home
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594. help me
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595. you went back in the water...
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596. you little ginger mong.
mitch, your a lifeguard mitch
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597. holy fuck
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598. im getting old
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599. I made a rescue
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600. I actually made a rescue
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601. can you put me down now...
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602. Ched
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603. Ched
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604. you see them,
do you seem them now?
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605. we got to drain the pools
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606. Barry, Barry.
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607. I need you to go to the pump house
and force drain the pool
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608. its easy, your leavers are down,
you push them straight up
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609. ok ok got it
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610. I want you to know whatever happens,
ive loved you since 7th grade
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611. I always will
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612. I thought you were gay?
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613. I gotta get out of here,
its not my fault
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614. what the fuck... get off me
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615. hey no
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616. come over here please man
look at my ass
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617. holy shit
- whatever it is, just get it out
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618. ok this is gonna hurt alright, you ready?
1... 2...
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619. ahh fuck
- comeon we got to get to the pump
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620. sorry kid
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621. its not my fault
Copy !req
622. ok listen to me, I need you
to get all the first aid
supplies and bring them outside
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623. you got it? go
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624. I need first aid
fuck
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625. Maddie
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626. come here, help me
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627. I didn't know,
I promise you I didn't know
Copy !req
628. what are you talking about? the well
ched promised me 35 % of the profits
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629. if I turned a blind eye.
just help me, get me out of here
Copy !req
630. I didn't know that...
kyle please
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631. please just help me
help me
Copy !req
632. I cant do this
Copy !req
633. no no no don't...
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634. please help me
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635. wheres maddie?
shes gone, I couldnt save her
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636. Maddie
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637. be a man kyle, be a man
be a man kyle
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638. this was a bad idea
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639. Barry.
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640. save her life kyle
save her life
Copy !req
641. being a hero
Copy !req
642. I got you, oh my god
get out of the pool
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643. Maddie
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644. Maddie
Copy !req
645. Maddie
Copy !req
646. nobody munches on daves ass bitch
Copy !req
647. adios bastardos
Copy !req
648. how the hell did you
buy that shotgun leg?
Copy !req
649. with the money I saved on socks
Copy !req
650. hello...
maddie
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651. your not going to believe this
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652. I was right
Copy !req
653. there elvolving,
there learning to walk
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654. yeah, I know
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655. David!
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656. David, get away from that thing
Copy !req
657. mom its ok, there slow on land
Copy !req
658. oh my god, somebody
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659. little... ginger... moron
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