- 1. - When did it start?
- At 0500. We're seven minutes in.
- 2. Private Miller...
- 3. you've been smoking ltem 9
for seven minutes and 13 seconds.
- 4. We're going to ask you
- 5. How do you feel?
- 6. Well, sir...
- 7. I feel like a...
- 8. Like a slice of butter...
- 9. melting on top
of a big old pile of flapjacks.
- 10. Yeah.
- 11. Okay, Private Miller,
when you think of your superiors...
- 12. what emotions do you feel?
- 13. Okay, Private Miller?
- 14. Is this normal?
- 15. Okay, Private—
- 16. Okay, Private Miller?
- 17. Private Miller.
- 18. Answer the question.
- 19. This went out, sir.
- 20. Can you torch me?
- 21. We'll send someone in.
- 22. Holy bejesus!
- 23. Private Miller, answer the question.
- 24. What was the question again, sir?
- 25. When you think of your superiors,
what emotions do you feel?
- 26. You know what problem I have...
- 27. with your fucking little
dog-and-pony act you call the military?
- 28. Here it is. Lots of dudes.
- 29. Where are the boobies?
- 30. Why are we
underground right now, sir?
- 31. Why can't we be out in the open?
Why aren't we in a square right now?
- 32. Why aren't we talking to people,
letting them know Item 9 exists?
- 33. Get it out. Shout off the rooftops:
- 34. "This is great!
This is the bee's knees, ltem 9!"
- 35. Private, we need you to be serious.
- 36. I'm serious. Your dick, my mouth.
- 37. That's inappropriate.
- 38. Fuck you!
- 39. I've seen enough. Shut it down.
- 40. Bury the hatch. Sell the land.
And dispose of him.
- 41. This never happened.
- 42. Dude, what happened to your eye?
- 43. Hello.
- 44. Can you guys understand me?
- 45. - Hey. Hey, where we going?
- This is General Bratt.
- 46. We've reached
a final conclusion on Item 9.
- 47. Illegal!
- 48. Hey, this is Sam. Good morning.
- 49. Welcome to KRAD:
- 50. You know, I think that last caller
had some undeniable points.
- 51. Right now, we're gonna get
to the neхt caller, Dale Denton.
- 52. Hey, Sam. Big huge fan.
- 53. - Here's my piece.
- All right.
- 54. If marijuana is not legal
within the next five years...
- 55. I have no faith
left in humanity, period.
- 56. Everyone likes smoking weed.
- 57. They have for thousands of years.
They're not gonna stop anytime soon.
- 58. It makes everything better. Makes
food better. Makes music better.
- 59. It makes sex feel better,
for God's sakes.
- 60. It makes shitty movies better,
- 61. Hi there. Are you Sandra Danby?
- 62. Yeah.
- 63. Well, I'm Garth
from Global Saviors, and...
- 64. - What is this?
- I'm joking.
- 65. You failed to show up
for divorce proceedings...
- 66. four times under court order,
and you've been served.
- 67. - Oh, great. Thanks a lot, asshole.
- 68. I'm just saying love has no age.
- 69. You can't instantly tell me that a man,
because he's a certain age...
- 70. can't marry a woman
or love a woman.
- 71. I'm dating a high-school girl.
- 72. You're not maximising your potential.
Think this girl takes you seriously?
- 73. No, but if I'm 25
and the girl is 18 years old...
- 74. you know, in society,
that might look bad.
- 75. - Hey, as long as it's consensual.
- I think it's consensual.
- 76. Yo, you been served.
- 77. You've been served.
You've been served.
- 78. You've been served.
- 79. Walter Wadska the third.
- 80. You here to fix the fax machine?
- 81. No, I'm here to tell you
you owe MasterCard 4068 bucks.
- 82. You've been served by the best.
Keep it real.
- 83. Why don't you get a real job,
you fucking cocksucker?
- 84. - Hey, "Electric Avenue."
- I know, right?
- 85. - Take that shit to the next level, eh?
- Okay, I will.
- 86. - Dr. Edgar Terrence?
- 87. You have repeatedly refused
to trim the monkey tree...
- 88. that spills
onto your neighbour's property.
- 89. And now because of that,
you've been served.
- 90. You're a jerk.
- 91. All this current system is doing...
- 92. is putting money
in the hands of criminals...
- 93. and it's making ordinary people like
you and me deal with those criminals.
- 94. You ever dealt with a drug dealer?
It's terrible, it's weird, it's awkward.
- 95. They think they're your friend,
but they're not.
- 96. Dale, I get your point. Thanks
for your input. Neхt caller, please.
- 97. I can't come.
- 98. What?
- 99. Why the fuck not, Dale?
- 100. I just— Look, I can't come.
- 101. I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
It's a bad day for me.
- 102. Jesus Christ, Dale.
When were you gonna tell me?
- 103. My mom has been shopping all day.
- 104. - Why?
- She's already planning on couscous.
- 105. I said I might be able to go,
so why is she doing that already?
- 106. - Now I look like an asshole.
- You are one.
- 107. Come on, don't say that.
I just can't go. I have a job.
- 108. - Fine.
- 109. Don't come. I don't care.
- 110. Then why have you been inviting me?
I thought you wanted me to go.
- 111. If you don't wanna meet them,
I don't want you to.
- 112. I want to. I can't. I have a job.
I'm sorry. What do you want from me?
- 113. I just know they'll like you, that's all.
- 114. You're great, and you're funny...
- 115. and you're sexy.
- 116. I just want them to see that.
- 117. - You want them to see that I'm sexy?
- Hey, people?
- 118. - Hi, Mr. Edwards.
- Can I help you?
- 119. No, I'm good. Thank you, though.
- 120. Yeah? I see you don't have
a visitor's badge. That's why I ask.
- 121. - I'm with her, actually.
- Actually, this is my boyfriend.
- 122. I heard that. I wish I didn't hear that,
but I just heard that.
- 123. What's that supposed to mean?
- 124. I'm just wondering why you don't
date a nice guy your own age.
- 125. - She's very mature for her age.
- 126. - Angie, hey. How's it going?
- 127. Hey, Clark, how you doing, man?
- 128. I'm good, bro. I'm good.
- 129. Dude, I wanted to tell you.
- 130. You were hilarious today
in drama class.
- 131. Your Jeff Goldblum impression
made me pee my pants.
- 132. I wish.
- 133. Oh, hey, I almost forgot.
- 134. Last week when we worked out,
you forgot your shorts in my car.
- 135. Oh, yeah.
- 136. - Here you go.
- 137. Yeah, no problem, no problem.
- 138. - Can you hold those?
- 139. - Yeah.
- How's it going, Sporty Spice?
- 140. This is my boyfriend, Dale.
- 141. - Hey, nice to meet you.
- You too.
- 142. I've heard so much about you.
You're real cool.
- 143. - I mean, you're great. Yeah.
- Yeah, awesome.
- 144. Anyways, yeah, dude, next year.
Next year college, man. College.
- 145. Gonna be kick-ass.
I will watch her back for you.
- 146. I know there's tons of guys that are
gonna be trying to get on that shit.
- 147. - Oh, good.
- Because I got that— Yeah.
- 148. You got her ass? Perfect.
- 149. - I'll watch her ass for—
- He's trying to be nice.
- 150. - I'll catch you at Home Ec.
- 151. You guys got Home Ec
together too. That's cool.
- 152. - We got a few classes together.
- Nice to meet you.
- 153. Time to suck today's dick. That's what
I'm talking about. See you guys later.
- 154. - All right, Clark.
- Clark's a great guy.
- 155. He's totally gonna take care
of Angela, man.
- 156. He's great. He's a wonderful
lab partner. He'll keep an eye on her.
- 157. Why don't you go fuck yourself,
you weird prick?
- 158. I'm a teacher.
You can't talk to me like that.
- 159. I'm not a student,
so I can say whatever I want...
- 160. - ... you chimp-fucking little bastard.
- 161. You've got T-minus 30 seconds
to get off school property...
- 162. or I call the liaison officer.
- 163. - We're leaving. I'm sorry.
- Middle finger won't stop the clock.
- 164. What a jerk.
- 165. What's that guy's problem? Jesus.
- 166. I don't— Normally he's—
That's really weird.
- 167. I'd love to have dinner with you
and your parents tomorrow night.
- 168. I'm gonna go. I'll definitely go.
I'll shuffle things around—
- 169. - Really?
- Yeah, I'll be there for sure.
- 170. Yeah, I wanna show them
you're in good hands. Yeah.
- 171. I got nothing
to be embarrassed about.
- 172. That means so much to me
and my parents.
- 173. No problem.
It's gonna be awesome.
- 174. - Hello?
- Hey, Saul. Mind if I come by?
- 175. - Come on down.
- Sweet. Be there.
- 176. - Hi, Mary.
- 177. I thought the hurricane season
- 178. I thought hurricane season
- 179. I'm sorry.
Things just got out of hand.
- 180. Yeah, that's the way it was
with my first husband.
- 181. Hello? Hey, man.
- 182. What the fuck, man?
- 183. I didn't buzz you in.
How the monkey did you get in here?
- 184. Some guy with a fauxhawk let me in.
He was leaving when I—
- 185. - Fucking Kyle.
- It might have been Kyle.
- 186. - Asshole.
- I'm sorry, man.
- 187. What the fuck's
the buzzer for anyway?
- 188. I don't know. I'm sorry about that.
I don't know your protocol yet.
- 189. Stuff your sorries in a sack.
It's not your fault.
- 190. - Okay.
- It's these jerk-offs. Have a seat.
- 191. Okay, cool.
Thanks, man. Awesome.
- 192. Yo, check this out.
- 193. Satellite radio.
- 194. Got two TVs and radio.
That's pretty rad.
- 195. That's home entertainment.
- 196. You're very entertained.
Oh, wow. You got a cute picture too.
- 197. Oh, yeah. Me and my bubbe.
- 198. Hey, let me ask you something.
- 199. Yeah?
- 200. Do you think you could pull the plug
on someone if you needed to?
- 201. Like, euthanasia?
- 202. Like, on her?
- 203. If I needed to.
- 204. I'm kind of in a hurry, man.
- 205. I don't know if we should
start going down that road.
- 206. I could talk all day about euthanasia.
Don't get me started.
- 207. - Maybe we should—
- We'll save it.
- 208. - Save it for next time.
- I'll take that rain check.
- 209. Business for the businessman.
- 210. - Yeah, you got my number.
- 211. - Brass tacks.
- 212. Just got a shipment
of the dopest dope I've ever smoked.
- 213. Hands down,
dopest dope I've ever smoked.
- 214. Not better than the Blue Oyster.
It can't be. I can't handle that.
- 215. This is like if that Blue Oyster shit
met that Afghan Kush I had...
- 216. and they had a baby.
- 217. And meanwhile, that crazy
Northern Lights stuff I had...
- 218. and the Super Red Especial
Snowflake met and had a baby.
- 219. And by some miracle,
those two babies met and fucked...
- 220. this would be the shit
that they birthed.
- 221. - Yes.
- This is the product of baby fucking.
- 222. - Smell it.
- 223. Smell it. Enjoy.
- 224. It's like God's vagina.
- 225. What, you wanna bathe in it?
- 226. - I wanna live in here.
- You wanna be it?
- 227. My God, I just wanna shove it
up my nose, have that smell all day.
- 228. - That's amazing.
- Shove it anywhere you like.
- 229. Beautiful. What's it called?
- 230. - Pineapple Express.
- Pineapple Express.
- 231. It's this thing, like, El Niño.
- 232. This airflow that comes
from Hawaii and Canada.
- 233. It gets the dirt, mixes it in
with the weed in a special way.
- 234. It's very scientific.
I won't go into it right now.
- 235. But I am the only guy
in the whole city that has it.
- 236. Only 10 bones more for a quarter.
- 237. Okay, I'll take a quarter.
- 238. - All right, you're on.
- Thank you very much.
- 239. Let me get my scale.
- 240. Get it going. Grab the scale.
Let's get me out of here.
- 241. I thought hurricane season
- 242. Oh, crow.
- 243. Where are you, you little fucker?
- 244. What the fuck is this thing?
- 245. - Cross joint.
- 246. - You ever smoke one of those?
- You can smoke this?
- 247. - Yeah, man.
- 248. This is the future.
- 249. This is, like, the apex
of the vortex ofjoint engineering.
- 250. It's rumoured that
M. M. O'Shaughnessy...
- 251. designed the first one.
- 252. The guy who designed
the Golden Gate Bridge.
- 253. My second favourite civil engineer...
- 254. behind Hannskarl Bandel,
Madison Square Garden.
- 255. What you do is you light all three ends
at the same time.
- 256. - Really?
- And then the smoke converges...
- 257. creating a trifecta
- 258. This is it, man. This is what your
grandchildren are gonna be smoking.
- 259. Future. The future.
- 260. That's amazing.
Well, got the weed?
- 261. - Yeah.
- In the bag. Beautiful. Okay.
- 262. Be careful with that thing, man.
Here's the cash, grab the stash.
- 263. Alrighty, man, thanks.
Have a good one.
- 264. Don't hurt yourself. Adios.
- 265. Well, hey, wait a minute, man.
- 266. Let's smoke this fucking thing.
- 267. I really— I can't, man. I gotta—
- 268. I can't even light this thing
on my own.
- 269. Yeah, I need your help, man.
- 270. - I'm in.
- Come on!
- 271. - Why not? Let's do it.
- Come on down!
- 272. Why not? What do I do?
- 273. Okay, here's what you do.
- 274. - You equip yourself.
- I'm equipping.
- 275. - Equip me, sir.
- 276. You are going to light these two ends
while I light this end.
- 277. - Okay.
- Are you ready?
- 278. - Ready.
- Blast off.
- 279. - I'm gonna do it.
- Good. Go for it.
- 280. It's better to cough.
- 281. It's like—
- 282. Makes you 10 times more higher...
- 283. than the cross weed
and the Pineapple Express.
- 284. You're like,
totally fucking Gong Show'ed, man.
- 285. Oh, fuck.
- 286. Hang on one second, man.
- 287. Oh, you fucker.
- 288. Who is it?
- 289. It's Chris Gebert, man. Let me up.
- 290. Shit.
- 291. What's a Gebert?
- 292. Come on up.
- 293. He ain't getting any
of that Pineapple Express.
- 294. Chris is getting Snicklefritz.
- 295. Hey.
- 296. So listen, man.
- 297. I gotta ask you. So...
- 298. Listen, man. You've been buying
from me for, like, two months, right?
- 299. - Two months.
- I gotta ask, man.
- 300. What's up with the suit?
- 301. I'm a process server.
So I have to wear a suit.
- 302. Wow, you're a servant?
Like a butler?
- 303. - A chauffeur?
- No. No. What? No, I'm not—
- 304. - Shine shoes?
- I'm a process server.
- 305. - I like—
- In process.
- 306. I work for a company
that's, like, hired...
- 307. by lawyers to hand out
- 308. Like subpoenas to people
who don't want them.
- 309. I gotta wear disguises sometimes just to
make them admit they're themselves...
- 310. so I can serve them the papers.
- 311. Disguise.
- 312. Kind of, I guess.
- 313. - It's a hell of a job.
- That's cool, man.
- 314. Like a day-to-day basis, it's fine.
Like today, I, like, sat in my car...
- 315. I smoked, like, 10 doobies...
- 316. and then I went to go visit
my girlfriend at lunch.
- 317. Nice.
- 318. What? You sucked on her titties?
- 319. No, I just kissed her.
I just did that to make it seem cool.
- 320. That's cool.
Does she like to smoke weed?
- 321. A little sometimes.
She has a couple—
- 322. She's in high school,
so as much as any high-school kid.
- 323. She's cool as hell, actually.
- 324. - You'd get along with her.
- 325. Yeah, you know, it only sucks...
- 326. when I go visit her in high school
and the guys she goes to school with...
- 327. are strong and handsome
and really funny.
- 328. Like, do good impressions
of Jeff Goldblum and shit like that.
- 329. And, like, I just feel like a fat, dumb,
fucking stinky ass-turd when I'm there.
- 330. - What?
- It really— It sucks for my ego.
- 331. - Fuck Jeff Goldblum, man.
- That's what I say.
- 332. You know, don't get down on yourself.
You got a great girl.
- 333. You got a great job
where you don't do anything.
- 334. You get to smoke weed all day.
- 335. I wish I had that.
- 336. Are you kidd—? You do.
You have the easiest job on Earth.
- 337. - You do smoke weed all day.
- That's true.
- 338. You didn't think of that.
- 339. - I do have a good job.
- Yeah, you do nothing.
- 340. - Thanks, man.
- No prob.
- 341. Thank you.
- 342. Oh, shit. All right. Business.
- 343. - Got my persona.
- Yeah, yeah.
- 344. Hey. Put that cross joint out.
- 345. He sees that, he'll never
get the fuck out of here.
- 346. - What's up, Chris?
- Yo, hey, Saul.
- 347. - Hey.
- How you doing, buddy?
- 348. All right, homes. Good.
- 349. - Who's this?
- Hey. Oh, that's my friend Mark.
- 350. You got the dough? There you go.
- 351. - Appreciate it.
- Nice. Good to meet you, Mark.
- 352. - Do you have any Percocet, please?
- 353. What are you talking about?
I don't sell that shit.
- 354. - Chris.
- 355. You told him I was
gonna sell Percocet?
- 356. - I didn't say anything about Percocet.
- What the fuck?
- 357. - I just wanted a couple Percocets.
- Well, I...
- 358. You came to the wrong place.
- 359. - Sorry.
- Yeah, nice. Peace out, homes.
- 360. - Thank—
- 361. - What the fuck?
- 362. - Fucking lingerer.
- Yeah, totally.
- 363. - Lingerer.
- 364. Fuck.
- 365. - Bums me out.
- Bums me out too.
- 366. If there's one quality
I hate in a person, it's lingering.
- 367. - That's right. You and me both.
- Yeah, yeah.
- 368. So I'm curious. What have
those people done that you go...
- 369. and process and service?
- 370. I don't know. It's always
something different, I guess.
- 371. This guy...
- 372. Ted Jones, who knows. You know?
- 373. - Ted Jones?
- Yeah, why?
- 374. My guy, Red, who I buy from,
he gets his stuff from a Ted Jones.
- 375. - Really?
- Maybe it's the same guy.
- 376. That'd be weird.
- 377. It's a pretty normal name,
I guess, but...
- 378. Anyway, I should really
get going, man. I gotta go.
- 379. Duty calls, but it's good to see you.
- 380. You're gonna smoke and run?
Come on, man.
- 381. We can go look at some crazy things
on the Internet together.
- 382. That sounds appealing, but I think
I should probably just get going.
- 383. - Oh, that sucks.
- 384. That's cool, man.
What are you doing this weekend?
- 385. Because, you know, my bubbe's
got season tickets to the opera...
- 386. and she can't make it,
so wanna go see Phantom?
- 387. - Of the Opera?
- 388. I can't this weekend,
but you know what? Here.
- 389. You know— I'll run out of weed in
a couple days. I'll come by, hang out.
- 390. - We'll watch 227 and shit.
- 391. Cool, man. Well, thanks.
Good to see you.
- 392. - Peace, brother.
- 393. One love.
- 394. When you got behind
on the mortgage...
- 395. someone finally
made you a loan?
- 396. Yes, he did.
- 397. Yes, he did.
What was the interest rate you got?
- 398. - It was 12 or 13 percent.
- That's disgusting.
- 399. - Hello?
- 400. Hey, Angie, what's happening?
- 401. I just talked to my mom, and they are
so excited you're coming for dinner.
- 402. Like, so eхcited. And so am I,
but we're all really eхcited.
- 403. Thank you so much.
- 404. No problem. I'm psyched too.
It's gonna be awesome.
- 405. Couscous. The food so nice,
they named it twice.
- 406. Dale, anyway, I can't wait
for neхt year when this bullshit's over.
- 407. Oh, shit. I see the guy I gotta serve.
I'll call you back.
- 408. Fucking cops. Shit.
- 409. Jesus.
- 410. What an adorable little cop.
- 411. Weird.
- 412. Jesus. Fuck.
- 413. What the fuck was that?
- 414. Oh, shit.
- 415. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.
- 416. Oh, no!
- 417. - Drive, drive.
- Who the fuck is that?
- 418. I don't know,
but I ain't waiting to see.
- 419. Pineapple Express.
- 420. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- 421. I saw brains and blood!
- 422. Come on! Come on!
- 423. Where do I go?
- 424. Hello?
- 425. Saul, it's Dale.
Let me in. Let me in.
- 426. I just saw some crazy shit.
Please. Let me in.
- 427. - It's Dale Denton. Let me in, man.
- 428. Yes, Dale. That's what I said.
It's Dale. Let me in.
- 429. Oh, all right, man. Come on up.
- 430. I buzzed it. Open the door
when I buzz it.
- 431. Buzz it in three seconds exactly.
- 432. One, two—
- 433. - Did it work?
- On three!
- 434. I did it on three.
On "one, two, three, go"?
- 435. Just on three.
- 436. - He fucking killed him.
- Hey, I got neighbours.
- 437. He fucking killed him.
- 438. - Who killed who?
- A cop. A lady and a guy.
- 439. A cop, a lady and a guy?
That's a massacre. You saw it?
- 440. No, it was just a guy.
- 441. - What happened to the lady?
- No. No.
- 442. A woman. A policewoman and a guy,
another guy, shot another guy...
- 443. an Asian guy, in the window,
at fucking Ted's house.
- 444. Whoa, was the other guy Ted?
- 445. I don't know.
He was a big, grey-haired man...
- 446. and he had a robe
and he shot him.
- 447. And his brain flew every—
I'm gonna be— I'm gonna throw up.
- 448. What?
- 449. - That was chicken fries.
- 450. You threw up on my printer.
- 451. - I did.
- Did you break it?
- 452. - I hope not.
- Listen, man.
- 453. I think the guy was Ted.
- 454. And the Asians
are number two in town...
- 455. so you saw Ted
capping the competition.
- 456. They saw me
seeing them shoot the guy.
- 457. What? They saw you?
- 458. And you fucking came here?
- 459. - Did they follow you here?
- I don't know.
- 460. - Did they follow you here?
- I don't know. Look. Look. Okay.
- 461. I saw them kill him.
- 462. I freaked out. I panicked, okay?
- 463. I tossed my roach.
- 464. - I crashed into two cars.
- 465. So they must have heard—
They know someone was out there.
- 466. - They know someone saw.
- They know "someone."
- 467. They don't know it was you. Right?
- 468. I don't— I mean, yeah. I don't know.
- 469. - Yes.
- I hope not.
- 470. Relax.
- 471. Just sit back. Get ready to enjoy some
of the rarest weed known to mankind.
- 472. Is it really that rare?
- 473. It's, like, the rarest.
- 474. It's almost a shame to smoke it.
- 475. It's like killing a unicorn...
- 476. with, like, a bomb.
- 477. Are you the only guy in town
who has this?
- 478. - You're actually the only guy?
- 479. My guy Red said he was giving me
an exclusive sneak preview.
- 480. I'm the only guy you sold it to?
The other guys got Snicklefritz?
- 481. Yeah. So we're, like, the only guys.
- 482. And Red got this from Ted?
- 483. Ted's the man.
- 484. Let's get the fuck out of here!
Go! Go! Let's go! Let's go!
- 485. I threw a roach of this
outside of Ted's house.
- 486. So what? I throw roaches
all over town.
- 487. No. He could find the roach
and say, "It's Pineapple Express.
- 488. Saul is the only guy
who has Pineapple Express.
- 489. He must have seen the murder!
Let's kill him!"
- 490. - Let's get out of here!
- 491. Wait! Stop!
Get weed! Get the weed!
- 492. Anything we might need.
Snacks, food, Fruit Roll-Ups.
- 493. - Let's get the fuck out of here!
- Okay, okay.
- 494. Red said he'd be here.
- 495. Them some drugs.
- 496. Smells like vomit in this house.
- 497. Want a hit, man? It's still lit.
- 498. I'm having dinner with my wife.
She can tell.
- 499. Smell it on my sweater.
- 500. For real?
- 501. Yeah, for real.
- 502. You wanna wear my vest?
It smell good.
- 503. Not my style.
- 504. You ain't got no style, motherfucker.
- 505. You have reached
the voice mailboх of...
- 506. - Ted.
- Ted, it's Budlofsky.
- 507. - We're here. Saul's gone.
- And Mathe—
- 508. - And Matheson.
- I think he knew we were coming.
- 509. They not here, Ted.
- 510. Hi, Ted.
- 511. Okay, what do you know
- 512. I think he's crazy about murdering.
- 513. Jesus, man.
Well, how much money do you have?
- 514. - I have, like, the 75 that you gave me.
- That's it?
- 515. - Well, how much do you have?
- Three bucks.
- 516. What you getting on my case for?
I have more than you.
- 517. Well, that's my 75 technically.
So I have $78 and you have nothing.
- 518. I don't know. Let's just go— Go to
a motel or a hotel and just hide out.
- 519. The police were in on it. Could have
flagged credit cards. They'll find us.
- 520. Shit. I wish we could
just go nowhere.
- 521. Okay.
- 522. Even if he found that roach,
how could he know where you are?
- 523. Heat-seeking missiles.
- 524. Bloodhounds.
- 525. Foxes.
- 526. Barracudas.
- 527. I'm kind of flabbergasted when
you say things like that. It's weird.
- 528. Thank you.
- 529. Not a compliment.
Here's the question.
- 530. Let's say he actually
found the roach.
- 531. How could he connect
the Pineapple Express weed to you?
- 532. He can't, man.
Only fucking Red knows.
- 533. Only Red knows, man.
- 534. Who is Red?
- 535. Red's, like, the middleman
between, like, Ted and me.
- 536. And we're, like,
mad fucking tight, man.
- 537. One time, he got this girl...
- 538. to give me a hand job, like,
within five minutes of meeting her.
- 539. It was like, "I don't
even know your name, whoa."
- 540. That is pretty rad, but, like,
let's say Ted calls him and is like:
- 541. "Did you sell the Pineapple Express
- 542. He'll be, "Yeah, I sold it to Saul."
Why wouldn't he?
- 543. No. Oh, no. Fuck that, man.
- 544. Fucking hand job, Dale.
Imagine if I gave you a hand job.
- 545. - Why would I wanna do that?
- No, I mean if I got you a hand job.
- 546. The same rules don't apply to Red.
He's a drug dealer.
- 547. I'm a drug dealer.
Are you saying you don't trust me?
- 548. No, that's not at all what I'm—
You know what?
- 549. You know? Just ignore what I said.
Call him. Give him a call.
- 550. See what the dealio is.
- 551. - Hello.
- Hey, Red, you okay?
- 552. Yeah, Saul. Yeah, I'm fine, man.
I just stubbed my toe.
- 553. Be careful, man. Be careful.
Wear shoes in the house.
- 554. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
- 555. You know that Pineapple Express stuff
you gave me?
- 556. Don't tell anybody
that you sold it to me.
- 557. I'd never talk to anyone...
- 558. about the stuff that I do with you
- 559. All right, cool.
Listen, I'm gonna come by.
- 560. I gotta lay some shit on you.
- 561. There is a fly in the ointment.
- 562. Shit has hit the fan.
The lion will speak.
- 563. - I'm in the middle of a convo.
- No, seriously.
- 564. - We're gonna be there in half an hour.
- 565. - No, please. No, no, no.
- Let's go over there and chill out.
- 566. No, can we go tomorrow?
Look, we're already here...
- 567. There's somebody else
on the phone with him.
- 568. - Who?
- I don't know.
- 569. He's whispering to another man.
- 570. We'll go in the morning.
It's better that way.
- 571. - Okay.
- Yes. Yes. Thank you. Yes.
- 572. - Hey.
- So you're coming by tomorrow?
- 573. How'd you know that?
- 574. Heard you whispering to that other guy
that you were talking to. Who is that?
- 575. Right, Dale. Good job.
Listen, I can't go in the morning...
- 576. because my bubbe— Gotta change
her clocks. Daylight-savings.
- 577. Is that the bubbe
that's on 41 st and River Street?
- 578. The one where we played
shuffleboard that one time?
- 579. You got it. So, listen,
we'll be chilling by noon.
- 580. - Noon it is, bromosexual.
- 581. We should hit up the casino again.
It's been a while.
- 582. Okay, yeah.
We'll definitely hit the casino up.
- 583. Definitely. All right, peace, brother.
- 584. - Where is he?
- I don't know.
- 585. - Why'd he mention a casino?
- I don't know.
- 586. You make me call my good friend,
send him into a booby trap.
- 587. - And lie to him.
- ls Saul Asian?
- 588. - Making me a shitty person.
- Is he Asian?
- 589. - He's not Asian.
- You're lying.
- 590. - I'm not lying. I'm not lying.
- You're lying.
- 591. Did you hear slot machines?
- 592. - Man, I don't know where he is.
- You tell me where he is.
- 593. Tell me. In 45 minutes,
I gotta go have dinner with my wife.
- 594. - I got a reservation.
- 595. That's a dinner reservation
you gonna miss.
- 596. That's a reservation I'll make.
- 597. - I don't think so.
- Because if he doesn't start to—
- 598. - Look, can you do this one solo?
- No, I can't do this solo. Are you crazy?
- 599. - What are you talking about? What?
- What, you trying to abandon me?
- 600. This is teamwork. This is a
partnership. We are in this together.
- 601. - You want me to stay?
- 602. - Fine, I'll stay.
- Thank you.
- 603. - You happy now?
- 604. There's no way that
we could pause for a minute...
- 605. you guys go home...
- 606. and then tomorrow we
could just, like, continue?
- 607. I should call Angie soon.
- 608. Make up some bullshit.
- 609. I'm cold.
- 610. You're cold?
Oh, I'm not cold at all. Here.
- 611. I run hot.
- 612. - Really?
- 613. - You got more body mass.
- Thick blood. Yeah, no, take it.
- 614. - Thank you.
- I don't appreciate that, but it's okay.
- 615. I'm gonna call Angie.
- 616. Space.
- 617. Dale, wait. Wait.
- 618. The phones. The phones.
- 619. - You said they were cops, right?
- They are, yeah.
- 620. I was thinking, maybe they can...
- 621. triangulate these things, man,
or, like, trace them.
- 622. - Right?
- That's how they got Saddam.
- 623. - Right.
- Fuck. You're right, man.
- 624. Maybe they can even trace them...
- 625. like, when we're not even
on them, you know?
- 626. Maybe if we bury them, the reception
will cut off and they won't be able to.
- 627. We can tie it to an animal,
be a diversion.
- 628. We'll never catch an animal.
- 629. The squirrel'd be up in a tree,
they'd think we were.
- 630. No, no, no.
- 631. - We'll build a hot-air balloon and—
- 632. - We'll smash them.
- Yeah, yeah.
- 633. I'm gonna smash it. On a rock.
- 634. - Right here. Good thinking.
- Good idea. Yes, destroy it.
- 635. - Get it.
- Die. Yes.
- 636. - What the fuck was that?
- I was trying to hit that tree. I missed.
- 637. - What tree?
- That one.
- 638. Why didn't you smash it
on a rock like a normal person?
- 639. I don't know. How often does
somebody smash things? I'm rusty.
- 640. Did you at least see
where it landed?
- 641. I don't know. Call it.
- 642. Call it? With what?
My phone has been smashed.
- 643. I bet they can't even triangulate
- 644. Well, you convinced me they can.
You were very convincing back there.
- 645. Hey. Fine. I'll go find it. Fuck.
- 646. - Do you see it?
- See what?
- 647. The phone, you idiot.
- 648. Why are we here?
This place is so fucking scary.
- 649. At least I had an idea.
You didn't, so shut up.
- 650. That's not true. I had two ideas.
Nowhere and Quiznos.
- 651. - What?
- What was that?
- 652. - What?
- What is that?
- 653. - What?
- I hear something.
- 654. What?
- 655. I don't know. Do you hear that?
- 656. Dude, I literally hear nothing.
- 657. Oh, fuck!
- 658. Where are you going? What are
you running from? Return to me now!
- 659. Help me!
- 660. Tell him to get away from me!
- 661. I'm scared of this darkness!
- 662. - Go away! Go away!
- I'm unarmed!
- 663. - This isn't funny anymore!
- 664. - Fall back!
- Save me!
- 665. Oh, shit.
- 666. Car.
- 667. Open it! Open it!
Open the door! Open it!
- 668. - Unlock it.
- I can't unlock it.
- 669. What are you doing?
Watch the upholstery.
- 670. - Go! I saw something!
- No! What did you see? Shut up!
- 671. Shut the fuck— Shut up, man!
- 672. I heard something,
then I saw something.
- 673. You didn't hear anything, man.
- 674. Well, I saw something.
- 675. And you're telling me that guy
in the little short shorts...
- 676. - ... broke your nose?
- 677. The BeDazzler guy
broke your nose, tough man?
- 678. Wake up. Get up. Wake up.
- 679. How did I get on you?
- 680. I wonder.
- 681. Watch finally broke.
- 682. Crazy. What time is it?
- 683. That can't be right.
- 684. It couldn't be 3 in the morning,
- 685. It's 3:00 right now?
- 686. Holy shit, man!
- 687. We were supposed to be at Red's
at noon, man. What if he's gone?
- 688. No, it's daylight-savings, so—
- 689. - So it's only 2:00.
- Oh, no, it went forward an hour.
- 690. It's 4 o'-fucking-clock?
Fuck me. No, man. That's bad.
- 691. Shit. We slept for, like, 18 hours.
- 692. My bubbe—
Man, my bubbe's gonna be so pissed.
- 693. Shit.
- 694. We gotta call Red.
- 695. Okay. How?
- 696. We'll go to a pay phone.
- 697. No, I can't.
His number is in my phone.
- 698. Great. Well, do you remember
where he lives?
- 699. Yeah, I know where he lives.
- 700. What are you insinuating?
Like, I'm forgetful?
- 701. "Insinuating." Good word.
- 702. Do you know what that means?
- 703. - I do, believe it or not.
- It means, like, "to seem like."
- 704. Let's roll. I'm done with the woods.
- 705. Come on, let's get
the fuck out of here.
- 706. Okay. Let's go. No. It's not working.
The battery's dead.
- 707. Wait.
- 708. What do you mean, it's dead?
- 709. What do I mean? I mean
the battery's dead. The battery's dead.
- 710. What do you mean,
the battery's dead?
- 711. How can I explain this
to you differently?
- 712. The battery is dead.
It ceased to live.
- 713. It's deceased now. The car
needs a battery to start, Saul.
- 714. How did this happen?
- 715. Well, we clearly fell asleep
with the battery on, and—
- 716. Oh, man. To talk radio?
- 717. - Yes, talk radio.
- It's so boring, man.
- 718. - Okay, okay.
- The car just committed suicide.
- 719. Shut up, man. I have an idea now.
- 720. We're gonna go.
- 721. We'll walk back to the road.
- 722. Someone will pick us up,
take us to Red's.
- 723. Red will tell us everything's fine,
everything will go back to normal.
- 724. How does that sound? Good?
- 725. - That's a good idea.
- Keep our heads on.
- 726. If we just keep thinking like this,
we're fucking gravy.
- 727. - All right. I'm in.
- Let's do it.
- 728. - Can I have my jacket back, please?
- 729. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
- 730. Thanks for taking care of it.
- 731. Look, it's like my thumb is my cock.
- 732. That's not gonna get us a ride, man.
- 733. Here's good.
- 734. Thanks for the smooth sailing,
- 735. You're welcome.
- 736. - You're sure we can trust this guy?
- Yo, Red.
- 737. Who is it?
- 738. - It's Bruce.
- Bruce? Who the fuck is this?
- 739. - Saul. What's up?
- Who do you think it is?
- 740. Who's this?
- 741. I'm Dale, Mr. Red. Nice to meet you.
- 742. Dale who?
- 743. It's best if you don't know
my full name.
- 744. Dale Denton. He's with me.
- 745. Dale Denton. Nice to meet you, bro.
- 746. - Hold on. Let me get this lock, okay?
- You better.
- 747. - Get in here.
- Coming in.
- 748. - Y'all wanna buy some drugs?
- Frisk me.
- 749. - What's up? What's up?
- Get it.
- 750. Look at that, huh?
- 751. - What's up, players?
- What's up?
- 752. I've been up in here trying to get
a motherfucking scholarship. Chilling.
- 753. What's up with the clothes?
- 754. We were camping.
- 755. - Camping?
- 756. Is your lip okay, man?
- 757. - You been crying?
- Oh, my lip.
- 758. It's a cold sore.
- 759. Never had one before,
so I started to cry.
- 760. I think it's a lot worse
than it looks, though.
- 761. Cold sore?
Does that mean fucking herpes?
- 762. Yeah. Yes, it does.
- 763. Fucking sick, man. You know
how many joints we've shared?
- 764. I know. I'm a disgusting person.
- 765. Herpes is for life, bro.
- 766. I'm gonna try to definitely put
some sort of medical ointment on it.
- 767. Been taking Vicodin.
Doesn't really take swelling down.
- 768. It's from that time. I told you, man.
- 769. You ate that lollipop out of that
stripper's snatch. You wanted to do it.
- 770. Out of her vagina. Remember
what you did? What did you do?
- 771. You ate a box of Nerds
out of her butthole.
- 772. You fucking said you wouldn't tell.
You sowed your own poison, man.
- 773. Dudes, seriously, we're here
for a reason. Just ask him.
- 774. Chill. I'm boiling some eggs over here.
We got a lot of time to hang out.
- 775. - I'm making a fucking cake.
- No shit.
- 776. Can I have a piece of that?
- 777. - Don't ask for a piece.
- I can't have a piece?
- 778. No, you can't. This is private.
- 779. Do you know what today is?
- 780. - Tuesday.
- This is my cat's birthday today.
- 781. I don't see a cat in here. I'm sorry.
You let it out by accident?
- 782. No, because he died
three months ago, okay?
- 783. So now who's the funny guy?
- 784. Sorry.
- 785. Today is his birthday...
- 786. and it is a tradition
that on his birthday...
- 787. I get up extra early and make him
his favourite kind of dessert.
- 788. Don't worry, bro.
Your cat's going to heaven.
- 789. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe he went to heaven.
- 790. He was a little fucker.
Could've gone to hell.
- 791. What are we talk—? Guys—
- 792. Ask him. Just ask him, okay?
- 793. Ask what? Just come straight.
- 794. - Yeah, right.
- Lay it on him.
- 795. We need to know—
- 796. We need to know
about your source.
- 797. - Ted.
- Ted Jones.
- 798. See, Dale, here,
is a protest servant.
- 799. I'm not. That's not what I am.
- 800. He's not that,
but he was outside Ted's house—
- 801. Don't— Look, we don't want
to bring you in to what we're in, okay?
- 802. You don't want any trouble.
We don't wanna give you trouble.
- 803. It's probably best
you don't know the whole story.
- 804. - Don't think I can handle danger?
- What are you talking about?
- 805. - You can.
- I totally can.
- 806. And for you
to come into my house...
- 807. and not tell secrets
because you think you're saving me...
- 808. well, in reality, it just makes
you look like a dumb-ass.
- 809. Look at this. See this?
- 810. You see that?
There's no hair under here, okay?
- 811. What's the significance of that?
- 812. It makes me aerodynamic
when I fight. I can take danger.
- 813. Okay, has anyone called asking
about Saul or the Pineapple Express?
- 814. That's all we need to know.
- 815. Is it "uh-huh" or "uh-uh"?
- 816. - It's "uh-uh."
- There it is, man.
- 817. Cleared. Over.
- 818. Everything's fine. I told you, bro.
- 819. We had a wacky night
in the woods...
- 820. but we both can put that
behind us like adults.
- 821. Now it's time
to get super-duper high.
- 822. Got that bong I got in Tel Aviv?
- 823. "Bong Mitzvah." Hit it up.
- 824. Yes.
- 825. There you go.
- 826. Why don't you follow his lead
and chill out?
- 827. I'm chill.
I'm chill as a cucumber, man.
- 828. - You don't seem chill.
- More chill than you.
- 829. You're more chill than me?
- 830. Look at what I'm wearing. Kimono.
What are you wearing?
- 831. - Suit.
- Yeah. Exactly.
- 832. I don't know what's up with you,
but I don't know if I like you.
- 833. Well, I don't know
if I like you either, man.
- 834. Well, that's your loss,
because I'm a great friend.
- 835. I'm gonna use the telefono
to call my wife, okay?
- 836. - Give her a call.
- I will.
- 837. - Go ahead.
- Sit on my couch...
- 838. my chillastic couch, and chill out.
- 839. - I'm chilling right here.
- Don't listen to what I'm saying.
- 840. - This is private. This is my wife.
- I'm listening.
- 841. I'm not trying to be enemies.
I don't wanna be.
- 842. - I wanna be friends.
- Well, then good.
- 843. - I wanna be best friends.
- Come here.
- 844. - Shake my fucking hand.
- Shake my hand. Okay.
- 845. - See, we can be friends.
- I'm feeling it.
- 846. - You feel that? We can be best friends.
- I'm looking through you, man.
- 847. I'm looking through you too...
- 848. and I see I need to paint
the spot on the wall behind you.
- 849. - I'm looking through you.
- 850. - I see your intentions.
- I see your intestines and intentions.
- 851. - What'd I have for dinner last night?
- 852. I'll be right back.
Make this phone call.
- 853. Bullshit.
- 854. No, no, no.
- 855. - Liar.
- What are you doing, man?
- 856. He's a liar. He's lying to us, man.
He's lying to us.
- 857. No, he's not.
- 858. He knows my name.
He's acting weird.
- 859. We can't let him
phone anyone, man.
- 860. Freaking out. You're paranoid.
Give him the phone.
- 861. I do not trust you, sir.
- 862. - You're paranoid.
- He's acting weird.
- 863. Red, I'm sorry, bro.
- 864. - Jesus!
- Holy cock.
- 865. Fuck you!
- 866. What are you doing, man?
- 867. Oh, Jesus.
- 868. Herpes!
- 869. I don't wanna have to do this.
- 870. Red, you're crazy, man.
- 871. You brought the devil
into my house.
- 872. - We're friends.
- I know we are.
- 873. - That's why it sucks.
- Are you on meth again?
- 874. Dale, he's hurting me!
- 875. Toilet.
- 876. Flush.
- 877. What we do in this life
echoes in eternity.
- 878. True!
- 879. He's going for the phone
to call Ted!
- 880. Stay out of here!
- 881. Red, don't do it!
- 882. - Red!
- You assholes.
- 883. You ruined my portable phone.
- 884. - Teamwork.
- 885. You're gonna break the door.
Gonna pay for it?
- 886. Fuck.
- 887. Phone.
- 888. - Let go! Let go! Let go!
- What the hell—?
- 889. I let go, now just get this
goddamn door off of me!
- 890. Tell us everything, now!
- 891. Said they were gonna kill me.
- 892. What did you tell Ted?
- 893. He's crushing my balls.
Crushing my balls.
- 894. Smash them.
- 895. Fuck!
- 896. Time out. Time out.
- 897. - Truce.
- Time in. Fuck you.
- 898. - Stop!
- 899. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 900. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 901. Fuck.
- 902. God—
- 903. Fuck!
- 904. - Take it, motherfucker!
- Time out!
- 905. Fuck!
- 906. No! No, no, no!
- 907. Where you going, huh?
- 908. Where do you think you're going,
- 909. - Come on. Get back here.
- Saul, help me! Help me!
- 910. He's punching my bum!
- 911. I'm done with this.
Let's talk. Let's try words.
- 912. Use words! No! No! No!
- 913. You okay, man?
- 914. - I'll get you another bong.
- It's my cat's birthday.
- 915. Happy birthday.
- 916. - All right?
- Thank you.
- 917. I think there's a package
in the mailbox.
- 918. This ends now!
- 919. Oh, shit.
- 920. Was that too much?
- 921. Can't get the edge.
- 922. Wait. Got it. Got it.
- 923. Hey, Dale.
- 924. Think we're gonna have to kill him?
I don't think I'm capable of murder.
- 925. I don't think I am either.
- 926. Maybe we could just convince him
to kill himself.
- 927. Or, just not say anything.
- 928. We need to find out
everything he knows, okay?
- 929. Wake up.
- 930. Hey, what's up, dudes?
- 931. What's up? Tell us everything now.
- 932. Talk, Red.
- 933. I'm gonna flex and bust out of here.
- 934. Trapped.
- 935. Not happening, Red.
- 936. Okay. All right. Okay, I'll talk.
- 937. Ted Jones, he knows you witnessed
the murder. He found your roach.
- 938. He sent two guys over here,
Budlofsky and Matheson.
- 939. Two real big son of a bitches.
- 940. They're basically
out to kill you guys.
- 941. They're gonna kill me too,
unless I turn y'all over.
- 942. So you guys are basically fucked.
- 943. How many cops does he have
on his payroll? Tell us.
- 944. - Well, there's the woman cop, Carol.
- That's the lady cop.
- 945. I don't know. He could have a bunch.
This dude is super well-connected.
- 946. And he has a really awesome
hideout too. It's pretty badass.
- 947. - Oh, shit.
- What else?
- 948. He's at a war right now
with the Asians.
- 949. They're in a drug war right now.
- 950. Asians? What Asians?
Indians are technically Asian.
- 951. - It's true.
- What Asians?
- 952. I don't know. What? Chinese?
Or Korean or—
- 953. Vietcong?
- 954. Yeah, little— Just little Asian people.
- 955. Like, the Asians with the guns
and the drugs, and not his friends.
- 956. - Ding-dong.
- Hey, Red!
- 957. - Oh, shit.
- Oh, they're here.
- 958. They're here to kill me.
- 959. Okay, I know I sold y'all out. I've been
a son of a bitch and a shitty friend.
- 960. Saul, I'm talking to you.
Dale, you're a new friend.
- 961. I can make it up.
I forgot, "bro's before ho's."
- 962. Just go out the back porch.
I won't say anything.
- 963. - I'll cover for you.
- 964. No sweat.
- 965. It was Dale Denton.
Dale Denton and Saul.
- 966. They're on the back porch.
You can catch them if you hurry. Go.
- 967. Hey. In here.
- 968. I've gotta get to a phone. Come on.
- 969. - We should hide.
- 970. If Red tells Ted's guys
about my name...
- 971. then they'll go to my apartment.
- 972. There, I have Angie's name. They'll
put that together, find her. Let's go.
- 973. No. I think we should stay.
- 974. - Why?
- I'm in the dumpster already.
- 975. Well, then, get out.
Come on, you're already dirty.
- 976. - They're gone.
- Well, find out what he knows.
- 977. Red, it's your last chance, man.
- 978. You gonna give us something
we can use?
- 979. Matheson, you gotta be kidding me.
I mean, what more do you want?
- 980. I told you that the guy's name
is Dale Denton.
- 981. He's obviously working with Saul.
- 982. They came in here,
busted my house to shit.
- 983. They kicked the hell out of me...
- 984. duct-taped me
to my grandfather's wheelchair.
- 985. What more do you want?
Want me to read your horoscope?
- 986. - You hear that, Ted?
- Ask if either of them were Asian.
- 987. - What skin colour were they?
- They were white people.
- 988. Denton might've been a Jew.
I don't know.
- 989. I don't judge people
based on things like that.
- 990. Obviously. We're friends.
- 991. Ted, you hear him?
- 992. Dale Denton: not Asian.
All right. Kill Red.
- 993. Listen, I would appreciate it
if both y'all would take your shoes off.
- 994. This is brand-new carpet.
You're tracking mud in here.
- 995. Matheson, you got
British Knights on.
- 996. I ain't seen anybody wear them
- 997. What the hell are you doing?
- 998. Ted told me to kill him.
- 999. Well, how about
a little fucking discretion here?
- 1000. See? See? See, right there.
You see that?
- 1001. - You catch it?
- See what?
- 1002. You used to not give
a fuck about discretion.
- 1003. I seen you pull somebody's
jawbone off. I seen it.
- 1004. You was ruthless.
- 1005. You was ruthless, man.
- 1006. What the fuck, man?
You shot me in my stomach.
- 1007. I'm gonna die now probably.
- 1008. I had you all over here for dinner.
- 1009. This how you do me?
- 1010. So, what did Budlofsky
and Matheson say?
- 1011. I don't know.
- 1012. There's this guy, Saul...
- 1013. something, selling weed who works
with some guy, Dale Denton.
- 1014. That's all he got out of him.
- 1015. Do you think he has anything to do
with the guy that we shot?
- 1016. Well, did he say anything else?
- 1017. Saul mentioned something about
"going to the casino."
- 1018. - Weird.
- "Going to the casino"?
- 1019. The Asians own the casino, Ted.
- 1020. - I need another beer.
- He's gotta be working for them.
- 1021. Maybe after we popped that guy,
they hired this outside guy, Dale—
- 1022. What's his name? Denton?
—to finish the job.
- 1023. Maybe.
- 1024. Maybe. Well, I'll be back in an hour.
- 1025. I'll have everything there is to know
about this Dale Denton guy.
- 1026. Who he's screwing,
who's his mother, everything.
- 1027. I have to take a shit.
- 1028. Wait. Where are we going?
- 1029. I gotta— I gotta get to Angie's.
I have to make sure she's okay.
- 1030. What about my bubbe?
Don't think they'll go after her.
- 1031. I mean, she has
a different last name.
- 1032. Belogus.
- 1033. I don't know. We should get out of
the middle of the road. Come on.
- 1034. You guys can wait
as long as you want...
- 1035. but one minute from right now,
I'm gonna eat some food.
- 1036. And you can call it rude.
You can call it whatever you want.
- 1037. You can be polite with your clean
plates, but I'm gonna be eating food.
- 1038. Dad, he'll be here.
- 1039. I'm going in the other room and eat it,
check my e-mail. I'm done.
- 1040. Honey, we're at the table.
No one's going to leave the table.
- 1041. - Okay. This is it.
- All right. Let's do this.
- 1042. No, no, no. I'm going alone.
- 1043. - No.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- 1044. - I wanna meet Angie.
- You'll meet her later, man. Look.
- 1045. Look, I need you to stay out here.
Keep guard, okay?
- 1046. - It's important. Watch my back.
- 1047. - Thanks.
- All right. Just be yourself.
- 1048. I'll keep guard.
- 1049. Hey.
- 1050. Shit.
- 1051. Oh, no.
- 1052. Hey, Dale.
- 1053. - Hello, Dale.
- 1054. Dinner.
- 1055. This is the dinner you invited me to.
That was tonight. That's why I'm here.
- 1056. Sit. Please.
- 1057. Of course. Hi.
- 1058. - Hi.
- 1059. - lntros.
- Great to meet you.
- 1060. - Robert, if I'm not mistaken.
- Sit down, so we can eat.
- 1061. - Hi, Dale.
- Hey. Okay.
- 1062. - What happened to you?
- 1063. I'm supposed to be here right now.
- 1064. So I'm here.
- 1065. - You're all dirty and bleeding.
- No, I'm not. I'm here for dinner.
- 1066. - You have scratches on your forehead.
- Dude, you smell like shit.
- 1067. - Dale, what happened to you?
- I was in the woods.
- 1068. - In the woods?
- Yeah. Isn't that weird? I was—
- 1069. - I was in the woods.
- What were you doing?
- 1070. I bird-watch. I don't.
- 1071. No, I don't.
Look, I'm gonna come clean.
- 1072. I witnessed a murder, okay?
- 1073. I saw someone
murder someone else...
- 1074. and I think
they've been following me.
- 1075. There's a good chance
they went to my apartment...
- 1076. where Angie has a lot of things.
- 1077. Her yearbooks, report cards,
her cell number is written...
- 1078. and it's on my fridge.
- 1079. So they could then find this house.
They could come here.
- 1080. We should call the police
- 1081. We can't. The police
were the murderers.
- 1082. We can't call the police.
They were the murderers.
- 1083. Angie, I swear to God,
you do something or I'm gonna—
- 1084. - So fucked up.
- No. Don't let him "gonna."
- 1085. No, don't wanna. Look,
we gotta get the F out of here.
- 1086. Let's go. We need to begin
to prematurely evacuate.
- 1087. - Are you high?
- What? No. I'm not high. Why—?
- 1088. You are high as a fucking kite.
- 1089. I'm not high. Let's go.
- 1090. We're not going.
I'm coming back in a minute.
- 1091. You know what I'm coming back with?
With a gun.
- 1092. You better be out.
I'm not fucking with you.
- 1093. Your gun? His gun?
- 1094. Why do you—? Don't get a gun.
Why would he bear arms?
- 1095. No, we need to go.
Everyone, I'm leading the parade.
- 1096. I just want you to know,
I always got your back.
- 1097. And I'm glad we're partners.
- 1098. - This is so exciting.
- Okay, okay.
- 1099. Is this where you're parked?
Let's sally forth.
- 1100. Who is after you, after Angie?
- 1101. They're drug dealers. I have reason
to believe that they're drug dealers.
- 1102. What are you talking about?
You're out of your mind.
- 1103. - I know it sounds crazy.
- 1104. Dale! Dale! Dale! It's happening.
I was eating a Fruit Roll—
- 1105. - Why'd you do that?
- 1106. - Get it!
- Jesus! Okay! Just stop!
- 1107. - Angie, what did you do?
- He's one of the drug dealers!
- 1108. - He's my pot dealer.
- He's your pot dealer?
- 1109. - I got it.
- Get it.
- 1110. - Gross. Are you okay?
- Dale, who is this?
- 1111. - He's my— Oh, shit. Get down.
- 1112. What was that?
- 1113. That was a gunshot.
- 1114. Stop! Stop it! Stop it!
- 1115. - He's with me.
- I'm the good drug dealer.
- 1116. - Put the gun down!
- Put down the gun.
- 1117. You assholes
do exactly what I say...
- 1118. or I will take you outside
and fuck you in the street.
- 1119. - No, don't.
- Don't fuck us anywhere.
- 1120. - Where's your gun?
- I don't need it.
- 1121. Kill motherfuckers with my hands.
- 1122. Get out your goddamn gun.
You're making me uncomfortable.
- 1123. Anybody out there?
- 1124. Fucking hide-and-seek.
- 1125. Say, now.
- 1126. Hey, the food's still warm.
- 1127. Love it.
- 1128. I found a bloody fork.
- 1129. It's fucking freaky, man.
They could still be here.
- 1130. Did you check the rest of the house?
- 1131. I'm about to check that bathroom,
I know that much.
- 1132. Come on, Saul. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
- 1133. Yes. We made it.
We're all safe, guys. We made it.
- 1134. - What are you doing?
- Get out.
- 1135. Get out of my car.
I can't believe you think it's an option.
- 1136. Okay. Okay. That makes sense.
It makes sense.
- 1137. Come on, let's go.
It makes sense. He's right.
- 1138. - Stay away from my family. Period.
- So where do we go? What do we do?
- 1139. Go to the Days lnn
- 1140. Use a fake name.
- 1141. Garagely. I'll contact you.
- 1142. I don't know who these people are,
what they're capable of...
- 1143. but I will keep you guys safe,
I promise that.
- 1144. Fuck off, loser.
- 1145. Angie, you're a fucking idiot.
I say that with love.
- 1146. Okay, you call this
- 1147. This one here, English Breeze.
Charge $40 for these.
- 1148. - Forty?
- 1149. This one, Da Vinci's Brush.
Call this one Bumble Bush.
- 1150. And this here, Spanish Trampoline.
- 1151. Crazy with them names,
ain't you, T?
- 1152. What the fuck is—?
What is it, Spanish—?
- 1153. Spanish Trampoline.
Used to call it Spanish Mudflaps...
- 1154. but Troy likes to trampoline
so Spanish Trampoline.
- 1155. - Almost the same number of syllables.
- How much?
- 1156. - Forty-five for these last three.
- All right.
- 1157. - And leave me the best stash.
- All right.
- 1158. It's Pineapple Express.
Get your ass up.
- 1159. Yup, of course.
- 1160. So get this:
- 1161. We triangulated the cells.
- 1162. They smashed one, threw the other
in the woods to try to distract us.
- 1163. It took an hour for Jared to find it.
- 1164. And then he said
that he found Denton's car...
- 1165. filled with all these
- 1166. A powdered wig,
a sombrero, leotards.
- 1167. I mean, what the fuck
does that mean?
- 1168. Why don't I just call the Asians
and talk to Cheung?
- 1169. Why beat around the bush,
- 1170. Hello?
- 1171. Cheung, it's Ted.
- 1172. Record this conversation.
- 1173. Ted, what a surprise.
What can I do for you?
- 1174. Well, Cheung, my friend,
let me tell you.
- 1175. You know, we both know
that you sent one of your very skilled...
- 1176. hit men over here last night,
and I and my colleague...
- 1177. made a little decoration
on our window. Should have seen it.
- 1178. We painted the wall with his brain.
- 1179. And now this Dale Denton guy?
- 1180. Just stop it, okay? Stop it or you're
asking for war. Do you want a war?
- 1181. - What?
- 1182. - Hello?
- 1183. Dad! Get off the phone. I told you
I'm gonna call some hot bitches later...
- 1184. - ... and this is the time.
- I got you your own line...
- 1185. so you would stay off mine.
Get off the phone.
- 1186. Don't talk to me like that.
I'm not a little kid, I'm a man!
- 1187. And from this point forward,
I'm not taking any of your fucking shit.
- 1188. I love you, Dad, but the dynamic
in our relationship is about to change.
- 1189. Troy, do me a favour,
get off the fucking phone!
- 1190. - Shit.
- So you have a son.
- 1191. Sounds like a very nice boy.
- 1192. All right, you listen to me, Cheung,
- 1193. It is on! We're coming at you
with everything we got!
- 1194. It's on, so you better get your head
out of your ass...
- 1195. and be ready for everything!
- 1196. You are fucking dead!
- 1197. You are so dumb.
- 1198. Do you have any idea
how weak you just made us look?
- 1199. Goddamn it!
- 1200. Totally sweet.
- 1201. Ted Jones is slipping.
- 1202. We shall strike now with full force.
- 1203. Your brother's death
will not be in vain.
- 1204. I gotta say, I've had, like,
a lot of weed dealers in my day.
- 1205. You're the coolest I've ever had.
They were all dicks.
- 1206. - Really? Thanks, man.
- No problem.
- 1207. I really appreciate it.
That means a lot to me.
- 1208. It's, like, you're the first guy that I ever
sold to that I became friends with.
- 1209. They say, like, "Don't dip the pen
in company ink."
- 1210. I'm totally glad
I dipped in your ink, bro.
- 1211. Yeah.
- 1212. We should get out of town.
That's probably our next move.
- 1213. Just get on a bus and leave, right?
- 1214. Get bus tickets.
- 1215. Go to the next town.
Contact some police.
- 1216. You know what I was saying?
Like, I'm totally—
- 1217. You're glad you dipped your pen
in my ink.
- 1218. But we should get bus tickets
and leave, right?
- 1219. What?
- 1220. Get on the bus? Leave?
Buy bus tickets?
- 1221. I only have, like, 50 bucks.
I don't think that'll even buy one ticket.
- 1222. What about your sack?
- 1223. Oh, man, it's fucking killing me.
I feel like I popped one.
- 1224. No. That's unfortunate,
but that's not what I'm talking about.
- 1225. I mean, like, the sack of weed.
- 1226. Couldn't we just,
like, sell some weed...
- 1227. get some cash
and buy bus tickets?
- 1228. - Of course, man. That's what I do.
- That's what you do. Fucking A.
- 1229. Okay, so you're gonna buy tickets
for Saturday's game, right?
- 1230. These guys are amazing.
- 1231. What the fuck do you want?
- 1232. You guys wanna buy some chronic?
- 1233. What's this stuff called again?
- 1234. Pineapple Express.
They said it eight times.
- 1235. - Yeah, but don't call it that.
- Yeah, that's not what it's called.
- 1236. - Call it Banana Boat.
- Make sure you leave it at weed too.
- 1237. This can be a gateway drug.
Don't wanna move on to other things.
- 1238. - Cocaine. Don't do that.
- We don't fuck around.
- 1239. - Don't worry. Don't tell us what to do.
- lnhale it, Chachi. Inhale it.
- 1240. Who the fuck's Chachi?
- 1241. - How much money you guys got?
- Come on.
- 1242. You each get as much
as you can grab with one hand.
- 1243. Go easy. That's a big handful, guys.
- 1244. - Keep it on the down-low.
- Don't tell anybody where you got it.
- 1245. You got it from Saul— I mean, you got
it from Santiago and Dunbar.
- 1246. - Go. Come on.
- Go, go. Vamoose!
- 1247. You fucking did it, man.
- 1248. You are a good salesman.
You got it in you, man.
- 1249. I'm about to go get some
- 1250. Get some burritos or something.
- 1251. Something to drink too.
- 1252. See you, man. Nice.
- 1253. Don't move. Don't you move.
This shit hurts.
- 1254. Don't move. What's in your hand?
- 1255. It's weed. It's a joint. It's a roach.
- 1256. - Right here.
- I was just smoking—
- 1257. I thought it was decriminalized,
to be honest with you.
- 1258. I have horrible anorexia,
and it helps my appetite. I'm so sorry.
- 1259. Look, selling narcotics to my students
is not decriminalized.
- 1260. - Okay. I understand.
- I'm the liaison officer for this school.
- 1261. And guess what? I just saw three
students walking from back here...
- 1262. with their eyes as red
as the devil's dick. You're busted.
- 1263. - On the hood. On the hood.
- Okay, okay.
- 1264. I'm on the hood. Come on.
- 1265. - Stand still. Stand still.
- I'm still. I'm sorry.
- 1266. You better hope it's clean.
Better hope ain't shit on this record.
- 1267. I'm gonna put my foot
up in your ass.
- 1268. Oh, big sexy with glasses.
- 1269. This is Officer Barbara. Requesting
an update on fugitive Dale Denton.
- 1270. I repeat, requesting update on Dale
Denton. I have the fugitive in custody.
- 1271. 425, 425, what's your location?
- 1272. You going down.
- 1273. What? What do you mean—?
Why am I going down?
- 1274. What did that thing tell you?
What are you doing?
- 1275. What did I tell you?
What did I tell you?
- 1276. I didn't do anything.
Why do you hate me so much?
- 1277. Hit-and-run, Mr. Denton.
- 1278. Two parked cars, two nights ago.
- 1279. One of them was actually
a police cruiser.
- 1280. You gotta be the dumbest
motherfucker in captivity.
- 1281. It's the lady cop.
They got Dale. Oh, shit.
- 1282. So you're telling me
you saw Ted Jones...
- 1283. and a police officer
- 1284. - Exactly.
- And you saw it?
- 1285. - Yes, do you believe me?
- Give me a minute.
- 1286. - It was a woman or a man?
- It was a policewoman. A woman.
- 1287. - I think I know who that bitch was.
- Yes. I will identify that bitch.
- 1288. Thank you so much for believing me,
ma'am. Thank you.
- 1289. I'll tell you, I'll get to the bottom of it.
- 1290. I'll take this badge off,
get to the bottom of it.
- 1291. I don't work for the law.
The law works for me.
- 1292. I been smelling something
in this department.
- 1293. Keep your eyes on the road.
- 1294. - Gonna get to the bottom of this shit.
- 1295. Son of a bitch!
- 1296. Oh, no. What the hell was that?
What is that?
- 1297. No, no, no.
- 1298. - No. What are you doing?
- I'm saving you, amigo!
- 1299. Freeze, goddamn it!
Don't even think about it!
- 1300. This is an old-fashioned
escape mission, buddy.
- 1301. Stop this car!
- 1302. - What the fuck are you doing?
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- 1303. Oh, shit!
- 1304. Oh, shit! It's the lady cop!
That's the murderer! Go!
- 1305. - That's the lady cop.
- Who's that?
- 1306. I don't know. They're shooting!
- 1307. Oh, my God, they're shooting!
- 1308. Fuck.
- 1309. Dude!
- 1310. I can't see! The Slushee!
- 1311. - Turn on the wipers!
- It's not working!
- 1312. Well, kick out the window!
- 1313. - How do you drive with one foot?
- I don't know!
- 1314. Fuck! I think I pulled my groin!
- 1315. Get your foot out of there.
- 1316. She's gaining on us.
She's behind us.
- 1317. Her car's better.
- 1318. - Get your leg out of there. Seriously.
- I can't.
- 1319. Put it into maximum overdrive!
- 1320. Oh, no, no, no!
- 1321. Oh, shit!
- 1322. Get it out!
- 1323. I can't see!
- 1324. Danger! Danger!
Trees! Tree, tree! Squirrel!
- 1325. Hey, I can see
through my leg hole.
- 1326. Nice! Look out! Tree, tree, tree!
- 1327. You did it, man.
- 1328. All right! Look out!
- 1329. Oh, shit!
- 1330. Turn around! Turn around!
- 1331. I'm scared, Saul. I'm scared.
- 1332. - Don't worry. I'm handling this.
- Do something.
- 1333. All right, hold on. I got an idea.
- 1334. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Go! Go! Go! Go!
- 1335. Sorry!
- 1336. What the fuck was that?
- 1337. Fuck. I'm sorry.
I thought she'd just go past.
- 1338. - Why?
- I don't know.
- 1339. Oh, my.
- 1340. Yes! Yes! We made it!
All right, man.
- 1341. - Let's get the fuck out of here.
- No. What are you doing?
- 1342. You forgot me, you idiot!
- 1343. Come back! Saul!
- 1344. - Sorry, man.
- Thank you.
- 1345. - Let's go.
- Wait. Get the handcuff keys, you idiot.
- 1346. I haven't used a gun since Nam.
- 1347. Angie, you have exhibited
poor decision-making skills.
- 1348. Oh, this is my fault.
- 1349. And we have hosted violence
in our home because of it.
- 1350. - "Hosted violence"?
- He's a bad guy.
- 1351. You don't see that
you have stooped way, way below...
- 1352. - You lowered your expectations...
- ... of what you are worthy of.
- 1353. but this guy is so far beneath you.
You deserve much better.
- 1354. Open your heart
to someone who deserves you.
- 1355. Or don't have a boyfriend
at all for a while.
- 1356. - We're stuck in this room.
- I love him.
- 1357. - It's not your decision.
- Love him?
- 1358. - You don't know what love is.
- I'm gonna date him.
- 1359. - We're going to the police.
- That's what I said.
- 1360. - I know.
- He said not to go to the police.
- 1361. - You should listen. He's a lawyer.
- You come with us.
- 1362. - He can't possibly work in law.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- 1363. - You stay.
- We're leaving.
- 1364. - You stay in the room.
- Fine, go. Fine, go.
- 1365. And we don't need the shampoos.
- 1366. As soon as we kill
those sacks of shit tonight, Ted...
- 1367. I'm moving on.
- 1368. Okay.
- 1369. All right.
- 1370. And I promise you
you're gonna be taken care of.
- 1371. As sure as shit you will.
- 1372. For now, this is what
we're gonna do.
- 1373. We're gonna go to the farm tonight,
we're gonna move tonight's shipment.
- 1374. Then tomorrow morning,
we're gonna hunt these guys down.
- 1375. Dale, Saul, the Asians.
Every last one of them.
- 1376. We're gonna fucking kill them all.
- 1377. So smile.
- 1378. Shut up.
- 1379. Say something in Spanish.
Go ahead. I dare you. Go ahead.
- 1380. All right. Are you using protection?
- 1381. - Days Inn.
- 1382. May I have the Garagely room,
- 1383. - Hello?
- Hello, is Angie there?
- 1384. - Dale.
- 1385. - My God, are you okay?
- I'm good. I'm fine. I'm great.
- 1386. - Are you okay?
- Yes, I'm fine.
- 1387. Okay, good. I came up with a plan.
- 1388. It might sound weird at first,
but just listen.
- 1389. Dale. You know what? Drug dealers—
Let me tell you something.
- 1390. Drug dealers are trying to kill me.
And you. And my family.
- 1391. I can't believe I'm in this situation
right now because of you...
- 1392. and your addiction to marijuana.
I cannot believe I'm here.
- 1393. I can't be addicted to marijuana.
- 1394. A, I use a bong. It filters out
the addictive shit. Seriously.
- 1395. B, what does that have to do with
anything? I witnessed murder.
- 1396. And now I'm dealing with it.
- 1397. This, that's happening between us,
this is normal.
- 1398. This happens to every couple
dating for three months.
- 1399. - We have to work through it.
- 1400. This doesn't happen to anyone.
- 1401. I should not be in this situation,
so fuck you.
- 1402. You know what? It's over.
- 1403. Good. Fine. Whatever. It's over.
- 1404. Congratulations. Had to happen
sometime, right? Why not now?
- 1405. What the fuck does that mean?
- 1406. It means that you are gonna go
to college neхt year.
- 1407. You'll get into
Godspeed You! Black Emperor...
- 1408. and the fucking Shins.
- 1409. And you'll blow a bunch of dudes
and become a lesbian...
- 1410. and I'll be here in fucking
Clark County doing shit-all.
- 1411. You're gonna dump me.
So, fuck it, have a good time.
- 1412. A lesbian? Fuck you, Dale!
- 1413. You never did like me anyway,
- 1414. You didn't wanna meet my parents.
- 1415. I always cared about you.
That's not what this is. Okay?
- 1416. I always care about you.
- 1417. Why don't you ever act like it, huh?
- 1418. Why do you never act
like you care about anything?
- 1419. Because I'm high! Fuck! And it—
What do you want—? Okay. Jesus.
- 1420. Call me when I can go home.
- 1421. You lost it playing Bid Whist?
- 1422. No, I'll give you more,
but you cannot gamble with it.
- 1423. I know, I'm sorry about the clocks.
- 1424. I couldn't remember if it was today
or tomorrow. All right, I gotta go.
- 1425. I love you.
- 1426. You wise-ass.
- 1427. Hey, you all right, man?
That sounded pretty hectic.
- 1428. I'm okay.
Let's just get the fuck out of here.
- 1429. First things first.
- 1430. - Don't do that, okay?
- Yeah. Why not?
- 1431. Why not? Car chase, gunshots.
- 1432. That clearly just happened...
- 1433. because we were smoking
- 1434. No, man. It happened
because those kids...
- 1435. couldn't keep their shit
on the down-low.
- 1436. In case you haven't noticed—
Which you haven't.
- 1437. From what I can tell,
you don't notice anything ever.
- 1438. —we are not very functional when
we're high. Which is all the time.
- 1439. Well, I don't know, man.
I think I'm functioning right now.
- 1440. I was, like, stoned when I saved you
with those Slushees.
- 1441. What do you gotta say to that?
- 1442. Well, that would be true
if you had saved me.
- 1443. But you didn't save me.
- 1444. She was gonna help,
you made things worse.
- 1445. We're wanted
for all sorts of crazy shit.
- 1446. Don't fucking get on my case,
- 1447. Only reason I started selling pot...
- 1448. is so I could put my bubbe
in a nice retirement home.
- 1449. - She must be proud of you.
- She is proud of me.
- 1450. I'm gonna become something.
- 1451. As soon as she dies,
I'm gonna become a civil engineer.
- 1452. I'm gonna design septic tanks
- 1453. Little kids can take shits.
- 1454. You idiot. What the hell do you do?
- 1455. What am I gonna do?
Besides stay in my home...
- 1456. for fear that you've designed
some object I'm around?
- 1457. I'm gonna be on the radio,
talking about life.
- 1458. - Giving lessons about life.
- Put me in my place.
- 1459. I'm gonna be designing buildings
and what's he doing?
- 1460. Boring people to death on the radio.
- 1461. You are an asshole.
That's all you are. You're an asshole.
- 1462. - I'm not an asshole.
- You are an asshole.
- 1463. I feel pretty sure
that I'm not an asshole.
- 1464. I'm, like, a totally nice guy.
- 1465. I'm just as nice as you are.
So don't bring that out.
- 1466. In the woods, I gave you my jacket.
- 1467. You were cold and I clothed you.
- 1468. How about in the park
when I said that you were my friend?
- 1469. You didn't say anything back.
- 1470. Well, that's easy.
It's because we're not friends.
- 1471. You are my drug dealer.
- 1472. There's one reason
we know each other.
- 1473. I like the drugs you sell. That's it.
- 1474. If you didn't sell those drugs,
I would have no idea who you were...
- 1475. and I would be fantastic right now.
Instead of looking like this.
- 1476. That sounded mean.
Just hearing it sounded mean.
- 1477. - I didn't mean to say—
- It's out.
- 1478. Monkey's out of the bottle, man.
- 1479. What? That's not even
- 1480. Pandora doesn't go back in the box.
He only comes out.
- 1481. I'm sorry, man. Look—
- 1482. - What are you doing?
- Here. Have a nice last meal.
- 1483. Come on, man. Don't do that.
- 1484. Why don't you supersize it, bitch?
- 1485. I'm sorry, man. Look, come back.
- 1486. I didn't mean that.
- 1487. I love you. Do you love me?
- 1488. That looks great.
- 1489. Hello?
- 1490. Dale?
- 1491. It is Dale.
- 1492. Angie, I'm calling because I love you
more than anything in the world...
- 1493. and I wanna let you know
I'll do anything to make it work.
- 1494. I'll do anything.
- 1495. I've had a near-death experience,
and when that happens...
- 1496. you can prioritize your life,
and you are it, okay?
- 1497. So please
just take me back, please.
- 1498. - I love you.
- I love you.
- 1499. - Yeah?
- I just don't wanna lose you, Dale.
- 1500. We were driving away from the house
and I just kept thinking—
- 1501. I don't know. I just—
- 1502. I wanna marry you.
- 1503. I made a mistake.
- 1504. - What do you mean?
- 1505. - What?
- I'm just processing that last bit.
- 1506. - You wanna— Oh, fuck.
- 1507. I don't know.
- 1508. I realise now
that if you would take me back...
- 1509. then you are very naive
- 1510. You don't see what a fuck-up I am.
I'm in no shape to be dated by anyone.
- 1511. - You're the one that's immature.
- I'm not immature. You're immature.
- 1512. I am somewhat immature,
but you're more immature. I'm older.
- 1513. Just because you're older.
- 1514. I lost my virginity
when I was 14 years old.
- 1515. - Really?
- How many girls have you slept with?
- 1516. - Like, two and a half.
- Two and a half?
- 1517. What is a half? Your hand?
- 1518. No, it was the tip or I dipped a ball in.
I can't remember why.
- 1519. I remember thinking,
"This doesn't count as a full point."
- 1520. if I said three, I'd feel like a liar.
I was drunk.
- 1521. Screw you.
- 1522. Get me out of this room.
- 1523. I will, and that's the last
you'll ever hear from me, okay?
- 1524. Oh, thank goodness. Okay.
- 1525. Belogus. Faye Belogus.
- 1526. Lookit there. Lookit there.
- 1527. Do you use the pool over here?
- 1528. Yes, I use the pool. Come on,
what do you want from me?
- 1529. Your grandson. We need you to get
on the phone with your grandson—
- 1530. What are you talking about,
- 1531. You told me you wanna sit down,
play dominos with me.
- 1532. And now you're hocking me
about my grandson.
- 1533. - Is that Yiddish?
- Yes. Yes, it is.
- 1534. May I call you Faye?
- 1535. You can call me Faye,
but I'm gonna call you a stinker.
- 1536. Hey, Mrs. Mendelson.
- 1537. What do you want from me?
- 1538. Bubbe. Hey, guys.
- 1539. - Well, look who it is.
- Hello, baby.
- 1540. Damn.
- 1541. Oh, shit.
- 1542. Sorry, Betty.
- 1543. They kidnapped my grandson.
- 1544. Yeah, these two guys came in...
- 1545. they sat down with me
to play dominos.
- 1546. I never saw them in my life before.
- 1547. And they kept asking questions
about my grandson.
- 1548. - What did they look like?
- One of them was very tall and sloppy.
- 1549. And the other guy,
he was very good-looking...
- 1550. but he was short as shit.
- 1551. But the worst part was...
- 1552. that my grandson came in,
why, and in pyjamas.
- 1553. - You gotta find my grandson.
- Do the best—
- 1554. - Do you promise?
- I promise.
- 1555. Absolutely.
You've got something there.
- 1556. I believe that's a mole, ma'am.
- 1557. You sack of shit. Do you know
what a pain in the ass you've been?
- 1558. No, man. I don't wanna get out.
- 1559. Who gave you that lollipop?
- 1560. Where am I, man? What?
- 1561. You guys started it, man.
I don't even wanna be here.
- 1562. Shit. Did I do that?
- 1563. Hey, hey. All right, okay.
- 1564. Screw you, man!
- 1565. - Stand back. Ted wants him alive.
- Why you holding me back?
- 1566. Ted wants him alive, okay?
- 1567. I should be kicking
his fucking teeth in.
- 1568. - if anybody's gonna beat him, it's Ted.
- I look like Hamburglar.
- 1569. And the Elephant Man.
- 1570. Like someone fucked you up
with a coffee pot.
- 1571. Professional. Professional.
- 1572. - Professional on this, bitch.
- Whatever, man.
- 1573. - Where were you?
- I was there.
- 1574. - Supposed to be my partner.
- I was there.
- 1575. No, you wasn't.
How did this happen?
- 1576. I take the hit?
That's how it's gonna be?
- 1577. Fuck all this, you know?
Get him out of here.
- 1578. Take him downstairs.
Get this asshole out of my sight.
- 1579. I don't wanna go near this guy.
- 1580. What's down there?
- 1581. I might act tough...
- 1582. but I got a lot of feelings.
- 1583. And you hurt damn near
every one of them.
- 1584. This ain't over.
- 1585. - You know you gonna die, right?
- 1586. I'm gonna kill the fuck out of you.
- 1587. I hope you enjoy these last
17 minutes of your life...
- 1588. because when Ted gets here,
he's gonna be like:
- 1589. "Kill that motherfucker."
I'm gonna kill your motherfucking ass.
- 1590. Watch your head.
- 1591. Hey, watch him.
- 1592. Oh, my God.
- 1593. El Dorado.
- 1594. The legends are true.
- 1595. Look at all this weed, man.
- 1596. What's that? Purple Granddaddy?
- 1597. - Come on.
- Purple Nurple?
- 1598. OG Kush?
- 1599. OG Kush.
- 1600. It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
- 1601. - What kind of irrigation—?
- Shut up.
- 1602. - Can I touch it?
- Come here.
- 1603. Hello?
- 1604. Red?
- 1605. - Red?
- What the fuck?
- 1606. Get out of here, man.
I didn't do shit, Denton.
- 1607. Look, I come in peace, okay?
I'm not here to fight you again.
- 1608. Good.
- 1609. Because I'm tired, man.
Not feeling so hot.
- 1610. You don't look great.
- 1611. They shot me, Denton.
- 1612. They got me right here.
- 1613. - Yeah?
- Right here.
- 1614. And then they got me again
- 1615. Look, man, I'll call 911 right now.
- 1616. They'll save your life, okay?
- 1617. - You don't need to die.
- No, bro.
- 1618. You don't get it.
It doesn't really matter where I'm at.
- 1619. If I'm at the hospital, if I'm here...
- 1620. Ted's gonna find me, man.
- 1621. And when he does,
he's gonna fucking kill me.
- 1622. He's just, like, an asshole.
- 1623. I couldn't agree more, Red.
That's why I've come here, okay?
- 1624. You know Ted? He took Saul.
- 1625. And I'm gonna get him back.
- 1626. You know, like, he saved my life.
- 1627. We've been on the run together.
He's a great friend. A good guy.
- 1628. He is. I'll tell you that, man.
Saul is a good dude.
- 1629. I was mean to him, man.
- 1630. I wronged him and I can't—
I can't let it end like that.
- 1631. I'm just into Buddhism
and I'm at peace with the fact...
- 1632. that me as this person,
probably gonna not be around.
- 1633. Think about a hermit crab, okay?
- 1634. And it's a shell, and it's like
they go from one shell to the next.
- 1635. And that's what I am. It's like
I'm just a hermit crab changing shells.
- 1636. Except, if you're a dick
your whole life...
- 1637. your next shell
will be made of shit, okay?
- 1638. If you're an asshole, you're gonna
come back as a cockroach.
- 1639. Or a worm,
or a fucking anal bead, okay?
- 1640. If you're a man,
and you act heroic...
- 1641. you'll come back as an eagle.
- 1642. You'll come back as a dragon.
- 1643. You'll come back as Jude Law.
- 1644. Okay? Which would you rather be?
- 1645. Maybe the anal bead. Might—
Depending on who it belongs to.
- 1646. It belongs to me.
- 1647. - Then the dragon.
- 1648. You need to help me, okay?
Just use it, you know? Use the pain.
- 1649. You'll have a second wind.
- 1650. Let's get up
and go get Saul back. Use it.
- 1651. - Aren't you angry at Ted?
- Yeah, I'm really mad at him.
- 1652. What do you wanna do? Don't you
wanna get up, do something about it?
- 1653. Maybe that would be cool
to do to him.
- 1654. I don't think "maybe" is the answer.
- 1655. I think, "Yes, I'm gonna
help you, Dale"...
- 1656. that's the answer I'm looking for.
- 1657. Come here.
- 1658. Ted Jones messed
with the wrong melon farmers.
- 1659. Thug life.
- 1660. Oh, shit.
- 1661. Get those. I don't wanna
run them over in the vacuum...
- 1662. - ... and shoot my face off, okay?
- I'm sorry.
- 1663. I used to use this little gun
when I was a prostitute.
- 1664. Don't.
- 1665. Just something quick like that.
- 1666. - Don't.
- 1667. - Don't. You stop it right now.
- Stop it.
- 1668. Oh, God.
- 1669. That's a big hideout.
- 1670. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
- 1671. I'm infected. My shit's all fucked up.
I need medical attention.
- 1672. What? I thought we just got all
pumped up. What was that about?
- 1673. Ted is a fucking murderer.
I can't fuck with him.
- 1674. I got a wife.
She's gonna be out ofjail soon.
- 1675. I wanna fuck her. I am not gonna
wake up murdered tomorrow.
- 1676. Oh, man, no.
This is lame of you, Red.
- 1677. Come on. This could be
your moment of redemption.
- 1678. This could be your moment.
- 1679. I don't want a moment.
I don't want— Fine, go.
- 1680. Fuck you.
- 1681. Please come back for me.
Please come back.
- 1682. Legends never die, dude.
I'll tell your story.
- 1683. Carol, she's cool now.
- 1684. Carol used to be a little crazy, man.
She used to throw tickle parties.
- 1685. - Sounds like home-cooking to me.
- That was fun.
- 1686. Game over, motherfuckers!
- 1687. Tell me where my friend is
or this guy gets it!
- 1688. All right, everybody be cool, man.
- 1689. Put your guns down.
- 1690. Put them down. On the ground.
- 1691. All right, everybody just chill.
- 1692. Oh, my God!
- 1693. - You shot him.
- Put the gun down.
- 1694. - Drop the fucking gun.
- Don't shoot me!
- 1695. - Holy shit.
- I said, nobody shoot. You shot Pete.
- 1696. That's right. I shot him. I shot him.
- 1697. I shot him. I don't have time
for a fucking negotiation.
- 1698. Now, I wanna finish this off
so I can go home...
- 1699. and have dinner
with my wife for once.
- 1700. If anybody asks, Denton killed Pete.
- 1701. End of story.
- 1702. I'm telling Ted.
- 1703. - if you do—
- He's got a piece.
- 1704. - Motherfucker.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
- 1705. He's got another one, in the side.
- 1706. Damn it. I got one more on my leg.
- 1707. There's one more.
I know you'll find it. Take it.
- 1708. I'm sorry, guys.
Sorry I deceived you.
- 1709. No. Come on.
- 1710. - Oh, great.
- 1711. - Dale.
- 1712. What did you do, rat me out?
Is that what you did, you bastard?
- 1713. - No, man.
- 1714. I'm here to save you.
- 1715. No. You just got caught too.
- 1716. And I'm gonna die in here
with some asshole.
- 1717. Okay, you know what?
I deserved that.
- 1718. I'll take that because
I have been an asshole, man.
- 1719. This whole thing is my fault.
I ruined your life.
- 1720. Okay? And I know there's no way...
- 1721. to make that up to you
except by saving your life.
- 1722. So that's what I came here to do.
I'm here to save my best friend.
- 1723. Because that's what you are.
You're my best friend.
- 1724. You're a mean jerk.
- 1725. I was mean.
I was mean because, I think—
- 1726. I didn't want
you to be my best friend.
- 1727. I didn't wanna think
that that's what my life was.
- 1728. Now I realise I'm lucky
to have you as my best friend.
- 1729. You're the best guy I know.
- 1730. Best fucking friends forever, man.
- 1731. - All right. Give me a hug.
- Yeah. Okay.
- 1732. Thanks, man.
I'm so sorry about everything.
- 1733. Oh, I'm such a dick.
- 1734. - Okay. I'm gonna get us out.
- No, you're not, but it's okay.
- 1735. These guys are gonna fucking kill us.
We gotta get out of here.
- 1736. - I know. They are.
- Fuck, man.
- 1737. We can hear you outside and
it's very fucking annoying, all right?
- 1738. - Okay. Sorry about that, sir.
- Shut the fuck up.
- 1739. Do you know
what "shut the fuck up" mean?
- 1740. I do.
- 1741. Shit. Stupid motherfuckers.
- 1742. Yes. Okay. I got an idea. I got an idea.
My belt buckle. My belt buckle.
- 1743. Right here. Okay? Rub your wrists
against my belt buckle. That'll do it.
- 1744. - Is it working?
- I can't feel it.
- 1745. I can't feel you.
- 1746. - Wait, I feel it.
- I feel it. Yes, okay.
- 1747. - Okay.
- Okay. Okay.
- 1748. - I'm gonna save you, man.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- 1749. - Let me save you.
- Save me, Dale.
- 1750. It's not working.
We gotta change angles.
- 1751. We gotta
get more leverage-y. Okay.
- 1752. Okay, that's good. That's good.
- 1753. Get your hands up on it.
There we go.
- 1754. - All right. All right.
- Yeah. Okay.
- 1755. - Yes. Yes.
- 1756. I'm gonna save you, man.
I'm gonna save you.
- 1757. - You're my best friend, man.
- Yeah, see?
- 1758. - It's not working.
- Let me use my— I'll use my mouth.
- 1759. Finish it off with my mouth, pal.
- 1760. Come on. Let's go.
- 1761. Harder.
- 1762. - Where are these fuckers?
- We got them downstairs.
- 1763. - Where did you find them?
- Found Saul at his grandmother's.
- 1764. He fucked up Matheson's face.
Hit him with a pot of hot coffee.
- 1765. It's gross.
- 1766. Dale Denton comes flying in here
like a madman...
- 1767. armed to the teeth, and,
as you can see, he shot Peter.
- 1768. Plugged him, just whacked him.
- 1769. Now they're both disarmed
and they're downstairs.
- 1770. He shot Pete?
- 1771. Fucking Pete? He was ex-CIA.
- 1772. Who the fuck is this Dale Denton?
- 1773. Who is he? Where did he come from?
I do not know.
- 1774. Time to cook shit up tonight.
- 1775. Take his stash and burn
this motherfucker down.
- 1776. Stop. Wait here.
- 1777. No retreat, no surrender.
- 1778. Yes, yes, yes.
- 1779. - Wait, someone's coming.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- 1780. If I cough once, I'll take the lead.
If I cough twice, you go, okay?
- 1781. Well— I cough sometimes for real.
- 1782. Just don't. Don't—
- 1783. Yo, look. I'm gonna say this
- 1784. Whatever you're doing,
I get it, okay?
- 1785. Stop.
- 1786. See, I don't think
you understood me.
- 1787. I can hear everything you're saying.
- 1788. One cough mean you go.
Two cough mean you take the lead.
- 1789. The belt buckle.
Best friends forever.
- 1790. Y'all fuck on your own time, man.
- 1791. Sorry, man. It was a stupid plan.
- 1792. What the fuck is that?
- 1793. Dale!
- 1794. I've been waiting for this.
You burned my face!
- 1795. I'm gonna tear this ass up.
- 1796. You shot me.
- 1797. I'm sorry, man.
- 1798. I ain't never been shot.
Damn, that hurt.
- 1799. I got glass in my ass.
- 1800. - Dale. Dale!
- This is messed up.
- 1801. Has anyone seen my bigger knife?
- 1802. Asians!
- 1803. War is upon you!
- 1804. Prepare to suck the cock of karma!
- 1805. Get down, motherfucker!
- 1806. Come on!
- 1807. Fuck!
- 1808. Go! Go!
- 1809. Get down, baby!
- 1810. Dale, no!
- 1811. No, wake up, man.
- 1812. No, you're not dying, man.
- 1813. Not without me.
- 1814. - Dale.
- 1815. You're alive.
- 1816. - You're— You're alive.
- What happened?
- 1817. - He got your ear, man.
- He got my what?
- 1818. - He got your ear.
- 1819. Fuck!
- 1820. - Help!
- My ear.
- 1821. - Yeah.
- 1822. - You killed my ear.
- You shot me.
- 1823. - I didn't do that.
- He shot me.
- 1824. You shot him?
- 1825. - Get your hands off of me.
- Shut up.
- 1826. We've had enough out of you.
- 1827. I'm not your friend.
- 1828. Maybe I can just—
- 1829. No. No, infected.
- 1830. Is that it? Maybe if we just hold it.
- 1831. It's clear.
- 1832. Dude. Look.
- 1833. Nice.
- 1834. Bullets.
- 1835. So seriously,
how gross does my ear look?
- 1836. Is it really disgusting
or is it, like, kind of cool in a way?
- 1837. Right now it's pretty disgusting.
- 1838. I feel like I can smell it.
- 1839. Don't worry, bro.
Think about Evander Holyfield.
- 1840. You can't even tell.
- 1841. That's a good point.
- 1842. Wait.
- 1843. Did you shoot that guy?
- 1844. No. I'm out of bullets.
- 1845. Me too.
- 1846. Maybe it was ricochet.
- 1847. Gravity.
- 1848. Oh, nice.
- 1849. You go down.
- 1850. I'll cover.
- 1851. Watch my back.
I'll go down and take care of this.
- 1852. Sexy motherfucker.
- 1853. No, no, there might be
more bad guys up there.
- 1854. No, we'll sneak out through
the vent. Come on.
- 1855. I'll boost you up, okay?
And then you pull me up.
- 1856. Oh, nice.
- 1857. Here we go. Okay.
- 1858. Get up. Yeah. Nice.
- 1859. Nice.
- 1860. Nice. Okay.
- 1861. Pull me up.
- 1862. I'm ready. Go.
- 1863. - Give it to me.
- Come on.
- 1864. - Be taller.
- Be stronger.
- 1865. - Pull harder.
- Dale, come on.
- 1866. Pull. Pull me. Come on, man.
- 1867. - I'm jumping as high as I can.
- 1868. Dale!
- 1869. I'll get help. I'll get help.
- 1870. Go ahead and run, you little dipshit.
I'll find you.
- 1871. Give me that fire extinguisher.
- 1872. Okay.
- 1873. - Titty twister!
- No! No!
- 1874. You and me, baby.
Drop it now! Put the bag down!
- 1875. Now!
- 1876. Fuck you!
- 1877. Fuck the police!
- 1878. Motherfucking kill you!
- 1879. - Why you doing this to me?
- Why you doing this to me?
- 1880. Oh, shit!
- 1881. Come here!
- 1882. I hate you!
- 1883. No! Ted, stop it!
- 1884. Come on, bitch.
Come on, I'll twist your balls so tight.
- 1885. You're in the jungle now, baby.
- 1886. Jesus!
- 1887. Fuck.
- 1888. Gonna die.
- 1889. - You killed—
- I didn't wanna do that.
- 1890. But you weren't gonna stop.
- 1891. Shoot him!
- 1892. Just take it easy, buddy.
- 1893. Shoot him, you dumb fuck!
- 1894. I'm hungry.
- 1895. I'm going home.
- 1896. All right.
- 1897. Help.
- 1898. I knew you were going soft.
- 1899. Dinner's gonna be cold tonight,
- 1900. Fucked up, man.
- 1901. - Well, lookie here. Mr. Folgers.
- Oh, man.
- 1902. What's up, sir?
- 1903. - Look, I didn't wanna hit you, man—
- Shut the fuck up.
- 1904. You think you was gonna
get me, motherfucker, huh?
- 1905. You need to sit
your little sexy ass down...
- 1906. and watch yourself get killed now.
- 1907. All right.
- 1908. You know what?
This is how it's gonna be?
- 1909. All right. This is how it ends.
- 1910. You just got killed by a
Daewoo Lanos, motherfucker.
- 1911. How you like me now, huh?
- 1912. Gross.
- 1913. Red?
- 1914. Saul.
- 1915. Hey, Saul. I came back for you, bro.
- 1916. - Yeah.
- I remembered, man.
- 1917. Bro's before ho's.
- 1918. - You lied to me.
- I did. I lied bigtime to you.
- 1919. Dale said that you didn't even
have herpes and I said that you did.
- 1920. Honestly, like, from now on, from
everything that we've gone through...
- 1921. and, like, from seeing this asshole's
nuts smashed with my Daewoo...
- 1922. I wanna be a better friend to you,
like I really am.
- 1923. I fucking love you, dog.
Fucking love you.
- 1924. I wanna be inside you, homes.
- 1925. No more lies, Red.
- 1926. - This is my moment.
- This is your moment.
- 1927. Red!
- 1928. You know what? I'm feeling it.
- 1929. Red, I'm coming, baby.
- 1930. Your stupidity amazes me.
- 1931. Hey, Ted!
- 1932. You killed my brother...
- 1933. Caucasian son of cocksucker!
- 1934. Suck my balls! Two times!
- 1935. Bitch!
- 1936. Bring it on.
- 1937. Shit. Dale.
- 1938. Dale!
- 1939. Holy shit!
- 1940. Sorry, Ted.
- 1941. You've been served.
- 1942. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
- 1943. Saul! Saul!
- 1944. Wake up, man! This place
is gonna collapse! Come on!
- 1945. Come to me!
- 1946. You're not dying today, friend.
- 1947. Not on my watch.
- 1948. Saul. Wake up, man, please.
- 1949. Saul.
- 1950. Wake up.
- 1951. Oh, sweet Saul.
- 1952. Saul.
- 1953. Yes. Yeah.
- 1954. Saul, you made it.
- 1955. - What?
- 1956. Where am I?
- 1957. You made it, man.
- 1958. - You saved me.
- You came back for me.
- 1959. - Yeah.
- Oh, thank you.
- 1960. What happened?
- 1961. Holy shit.
- 1962. What's that?
- 1963. Hi.
- 1964. - Red?
- 1965. - Red.
- 1966. Red. Where'd you come from, man?
Where'd he come from?
- 1967. He came back to save us.
- 1968. - He saved us?
- 1969. All right, man.
- 1970. - We all saved each other.
- 1971. Oh, man. We made it, guys.
- 1972. We made it. Oh, we made it.
- 1973. Hello, you're listening to РРRPBР.
I am Dale Denton.
- 1974. The topic of the day: new beginnings.
Getting over losses.
- 1975. Friends. Life.
- 1976. We have our first caller.
- 1977. Yes, ring-ring-ring. How's it going?
- 1978. Hi. Am I on the air?
- 1979. You are. You're about
to get D'd by the Dale.
- 1980. A D in the face.
- 1981. - Dale Denton?
- 1982. You're my hero.
- 1983. You are good, man. Seriously.
- 1984. - Thanks.
- Gotta admit, you're pretty good.
- 1985. - It sounds pretty good.
- It sounds real.
- 1986. - It's not bad, huh?
- if I close my eyes, it sounds like—
- 1987. - You are on the radio.
- That's the radio. That's a DJ.
- 1988. - if you were on it, I would listen to it.
- Thanks, man.
- 1989. It's like when my bubbe
was always playing opera...
- 1990. I hated it, but my bubbe loves it.
- 1991. Then it grows on you.
It grows on you. Yeah.
- 1992. It's like Red. I didn't like Red
when I first met him.
- 1993. - You didn't like me?
- You liked him so much...
- 1994. I like you now.
- 1995. I know this sounds weird, but can
we be best friends? Just us, for real?
- 1996. - We should all be best friends.
- We should.
- 1997. Seriously. You guys are, like,
both of my best friends.
- 1998. You didn't know it. Now you know it,
we'll all be best friends.
- 1999. Know those hearts that break up,
- 2000. We should get a three-way one.
- 2001. - I don't know if they make those.
- We should make the first one.
- 2002. I want the middle piece,
so it'll be crooked on both sides.
- 2003. I know we've gone over this, but, like,
1000 pardons, 1000 pardons, please.
- 2004. - I fucked up—
- I was a dick to you, man. I'm sorry.
- 2005. I know I was an asshole.
I hope I redeemed myself.
- 2006. - I know me and you had our deal.
- We've had some times.
- 2007. I feel like something's happening here.
Is that a boner?
- 2008. Is that a condo? That us moving
into an apartment together?
- 2009. Is that us getting a time-share?
- 2010. - You threw an ashtray at his face.
- You hit me, man.
- 2011. At the time, I was like:
But it was kind of funny.
- 2012. You hit me with a DustBuster, man.
- 2013. I didn't wanna hurt you.
It was like, "You better not leave here."
- 2014. - That was such a good fight, man.
- That was.
- 2015. You fuckhead.
- 2016. - The car chase was awesome.
- You got into a car chase?
- 2017. - Are you kidding me? Oh, my God.
- Yeah, it was...
- 2018. I, like, had my foot
through the window.
- 2019. My groin— I mean,
I felt like a wishbone.
- 2020. - I just feel different about everything.
- Me too, man. Everything.
- 2021. Like, I never wanna
kill anybody else again.
- 2022. - Ever.
- That's something you pretty much—
- 2023. You can just kind of
dip your toes into.
- 2024. We kind of dipped our toes
- 2025. I killed six guys, I think.
How many guys did you—?
- 2026. - We each shot several people.
- A lot.
- 2027. Some people get a taste for it,
but I don't.
- 2028. I shot someone who was already dead
so that doesn't count as a murder.
- 2029. Apparently you hit him
with your car, I'm told.
- 2030. - That— You killed him.
- Okay, so I did murder somebody.
- 2031. - You murdered, man.
- Not a big deal. That's cool.
- 2032. - That's cool. Whatever. Kill or be killed.
- I know.
- 2033. I'm trying to decide
how stoned I am...
- 2034. and just how on the verge
of death am I now.
- 2035. Am I seeing shit because I'm stoned
or because I have no blood left?
- 2036. - You've been shot, like, seven times.
- You gotta eat.
- 2037. - You're losing stuff.
- 2038. - Here.
- Yeah, okay.
- 2039. - Here comes the airplane.
- Look, like a baby.
- 2040. It's a miracle.
I think we should all take a moment...
- 2041. and think about what a miracle
it is that we got out.
- 2042. And that we became friends
in the process...
- 2043. and learned some shit about life
- 2044. Should we touch each other's hands
while we do it? Okay.
- 2045. I love you guys.
- 2046. I love you dudes so much.
- 2047. I'll remember that
for the rest of my life.
- 2048. - Red?
- 2049. Yo, Red, man. You alive?
- 2050. What's up, pal?
- 2051. - Hey.
- 2052. I'm like the nerd at the sleepover
who fell asleep at 9.
- 2053. That's okay. We won't put
our dicks in your mouth.
- 2054. - Oh, God.
- Hey, there's bubbe.
- 2055. Come on. Let's get out of here.
- 2056. Yeah, maybe
we should go to the doctor.
- 2057. Do you think she'll drive me
to the hospital?
- 2058. Me too. I should
get the ear looked at.
- 2059. My ear should probably
get professional attention.
- 2060. - It is bad.
- That's a bullet burp.
- 2061. Either I'm getting ready to die
or I'm gonna take a massive shit.
- 2062. If somebody could get me
to the hospital.
- 2063. Blood from my ear just...
- 2064. You guys smell like shit.
- 2065. You are in serious danger.