1. Yes!Copy !req
2. I'm Petey Wheatstraw,
the Devil's son-in-law!Copy !req
3. The high sheriff of Hell.Copy !req
4. I went with Notorius Fatty,Copy !req
5. and even made love
to old Lula Bell.Copy !req
6. I took today and brought
back yesterday!Copy !req
7. Took the 4th of July
and put it in June!Copy !req
8. And make leap year
jump over the moon.Copy !req
9. I'm not here to brag,
nor here to boast!Copy !req
10. I can sit on a tombstone
and produce baby ghosts.Copy !req
11. Why I can even remember
the day I was born!Copy !req
12. It was the day of that
great Miami, Florida storm!Copy !req
13. Release yourself.Copy !req
14. He's coming!Copy !req
15. - He's coming!
- He's coming!Copy !req
16. Oh Jesus!Copy !req
17. He's coming.Copy !req
18. Oh Jesus, my God.Copy !req
19. Doctor, doctor, doctor!Copy !req
20. I'm so glad you got here!Copy !req
21. She's almost ready now!Copy !req
22. Any minute now!Copy !req
23. Help me Lord!Copy !req
24. My God, she's gonna
have an elephant?Copy !req
25. Is you trying to say my
wife screwed an elephant?Copy !req
26. Just get me some water!Copy !req
27. Lots of hot water!Copy !req
28. Hurry!Copy !req
29. Hurry!Copy !req
30. It's gonna be all
right, just hold on.Copy !req
31. Oh my God!Copy !req
32. I've never heard
anything like thisCopy !req
33. in my life before!Copy !req
34. Oh my Lord, oh my God!Copy !req
35. Is he coming, is he
coming, is he coming?Copy !req
36. Is he coming?Copy !req
37. It's here, it's here.Copy !req
38. Oh doctor, oh doctor help me!Copy !req
39. Help me, Lord have mercy, Jesus!Copy !req
40. Come on, come on down.Copy !req
41. Come on down, come on down.Copy !req
42. Right there, right
there, help me.Copy !req
43. Okay, okay.Copy !req
44. He bit me!Copy !req
45. He bit me!Copy !req
46. I got him, I got him.Copy !req
47. You got him, doctor?Copy !req
48. I got him.Copy !req
49. Hurry, doctor, hurry!Copy !req
50. Help me, mama,
you gotta help me!Copy !req
51. Come on, push!Copy !req
52. Bear down, bear down!Copy !req
53. Push, push, come on!Copy !req
54. Yes, yes, yes, he's coming!Copy !req
55. He's coming!Copy !req
56. My God, it's coming,
it's coming, it's coming!Copy !req
57. Bear down, bear down!Copy !req
58. He's coming, push push!Copy !req
59. Oh, oh he's coming!Copy !req
60. Shees, oh my God!Copy !req
61. Are you sure this
isn't an elephant?Copy !req
62. Oh my God!Copy !req
63. Ow, that hurts!Copy !req
64. It's alive!Copy !req
65. It's alive!Copy !req
66. It's alive.Copy !req
67. Don't no grandy
doctor soppy suckerCopy !req
68. gonna hit on me and
get away with it.Copy !req
69. Help me, help
me, help me, somebody help!Copy !req
70. Gotta come help me.Copy !req
71. Take him off me.Copy !req
72. Willy!Copy !req
73. Help, help me,Copy !req
74. Take him off me!Copy !req
75. Come on, please!Copy !req
76. I know you, you the one thatCopy !req
77. disturbed me every
night in my sleep!Copy !req
78. But I'm your daddy, boy!Copy !req
79. You stop it!Copy !req
80. Stop it right this minute, boy.Copy !req
81. And you get your little narrow
ass over there and stand.Copy !req
82. Thank you, doctor.Copy !req
83. How much do we owe you?Copy !req
84. Nothing, nothing, just let meCopy !req
85. get the hell outta here!Copy !req
86. Your name will be
Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
87. Well if it ain't
little Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
88. You mean Punky Wheatstraw.Copy !req
89. Do not be alarmed.Copy !req
90. I am a friend.Copy !req
91. It took courage and bravery
to fight them as you did.Copy !req
92. Imma get them back for thisCopy !req
93. even if it takes my whole life,Copy !req
94. Imma get all of 'em one by one.Copy !req
95. Would you spend your
whole life seeking revenge?Copy !req
96. What do you mean?Copy !req
97. Who are you anyway?Copy !req
98. I am Bantu, and you?Copy !req
99. Petey, Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
100. Wisdom is the way of the world.Copy !req
101. There's much you do
not understand, son.Copy !req
102. I will teach you the
ancient oriental ways.Copy !req
103. You are ready now.Copy !req
104. I have taught you
all the mysteriesCopy !req
105. of the world and the
art of self defense.Copy !req
106. I owe you much, Bantu,
I am most grateful,Copy !req
107. but there's only one
thing that bothers me.Copy !req
108. Yes?Copy !req
109. Well this is not what I dreamedCopy !req
110. of doing with my life,
I've always wantedCopy !req
111. to be on stage
making people laugh.Copy !req
112. You know a, a—Copy !req
113. A comedian?Copy !req
114. Yeah, so I can try and save theCopy !req
115. world from some of its miseries.Copy !req
116. Is it possible?Copy !req
117. Yes it's possible.Copy !req
118. Stand up.Copy !req
119. You will always love and respectCopy !req
120. those who always
love and respect you.Copy !req
121. You will take no
abuse from any manCopy !req
122. living or dead.Copy !req
123. You will use your wisdom as
a weapon against all evil.Copy !req
124. Thank you.Copy !req
125. My my my my my, what an ass.Copy !req
126. I've always liked
women with big asses.Copy !req
127. Some asses for need, but
this ass is for please.Copy !req
128. I see we have another
comedian in the house!Copy !req
129. You still got a
lot of ass, mama.Copy !req
130. I say one thing,
if this place wouldCopy !req
131. catch on fire, they'd tell
everybody to haul ass,Copy !req
132. you would have to make 10 trips.Copy !req
133. Hey man, you can't talk
to my woman like that.Copy !req
134. Shut up!Copy !req
135. Shut your ugly, old
time, ancient ass up!Copy !req
136. If you say one more word to me,Copy !req
137. I'll have that lady
take one of herCopy !req
138. titties and beat
the shit out of you.Copy !req
139. And I ain't lying either!Copy !req
140. Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you very much.Copy !req
141. I am what I am and I'm gonna beCopy !req
142. the very best of what I am.Copy !req
143. And for those who don't
like me confidentially,Copy !req
144. I don't give a damn.Copy !req
145. I'd like to thank
you for lettingCopy !req
146. me be myself, thank you!Copy !req
147. Ladies and gentlemen, Petey!Copy !req
148. Petey, Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
149. How did we do tonight, Jimmy?Copy !req
150. Over the boat, Pete,
things looks good, brotherCopy !req
151. We gotta hurry 'cause
we got a plane to catch.Copy !req
152. Take me with you, Petey.Copy !req
153. Oh Sheila, we've been throughCopy !req
154. this many times, you
know the score, baby.Copy !req
155. Sheila, baby, you
know how it is withCopy !req
156. us honey, you've got
to hang on in there.Copy !req
157. You're gonna see that
Nell bitch, ain't ya?Copy !req
158. Oh Sheila, listen,
you know the business,Copy !req
159. baby, I'll send
for you next week.Copy !req
160. And what about Nell?Copy !req
161. What about Nell, baby, you
know it's only me and you!Copy !req
162. Sheila, baby,
don't be so uptight,Copy !req
163. I'll see that you get a
plane ticket next week.Copy !req
164. Hey Petey, beautiful man,Copy !req
165. really good this time, we
got to do it again real soon.Copy !req
166. Y'all take it slow,
Jimmy, it was a pleasure.Copy !req
167. Don't mean to run,
but I got somethingCopy !req
168. planned for me, takin' off.Copy !req
169. Hang in there, doc.Copy !req
170. Okay y'all, let's
get out of here.Copy !req
171. I hope this little
business adventureCopy !req
172. turns out the way
it's supposed to.Copy !req
173. 100 grand is a lot of
money and this placeCopy !req
174. doesn't look like it
holds over 200 people.Copy !req
175. This is not it.Copy !req
176. We got a place over
on the East sideCopy !req
177. that holds over 2,000 people.Copy !req
178. And I guarantee you
this'll be the biggest showCopy !req
179. to hit this city
in quite some time.Copy !req
180. With the kind of cash that youCopy !req
181. just loaned us, we can't miss!Copy !req
182. Right, Skillet?Copy !req
183. Right!Copy !req
184. We've checked out all
the risks very carefully.Copy !req
185. Mr. White, we're gonna give youCopy !req
186. a 20% return on all your money.Copy !req
187. You won't be sorry.Copy !req
188. No siree.Copy !req
189. I hope not.Copy !req
190. For that kind of money the
company can get a little ugly.Copy !req
191. But for some reason I
think it's gonna work.Copy !req
192. Soft season, all the good
acts are on the road.Copy !req
193. With that kind of
money you'll beCopy !req
194. able to advertise
and pull 'em in.Copy !req
195. Now are you sure no
one's coming into town?Copy !req
196. Mr. White, stop worrying.Copy !req
197. We have no competition
for at leastCopy !req
198. three or more months
from now, right Skillet?Copy !req
199. Happy times are right
around the corner.Copy !req
200. Mr. White, you about to becomeCopy !req
201. the luckiest investor
of the century.Copy !req
202. Yeah, or lose and become theCopy !req
203. most dangerous man in town.Copy !req
204. Dangerous for you guys that is.Copy !req
205. I'll keep in touch.Copy !req
206. Keep the faith.Copy !req
207. And keep the bankroll.Copy !req
208. Skillet, let's get started.Copy !req
209. Yeah, let's get started.Copy !req
210. Madam Wright, come on over here.Copy !req
211. Listen, we need singers.Copy !req
212. We need musicians,
we need dancers.Copy !req
213. Lookie here, the kind of moneyCopy !req
214. we got, we can do some booking.Copy !req
215. - We gonna party now!
- That's right!Copy !req
216. We living, brother!Copy !req
217. Living? Living?Copy !req
218. Living between the
sky and the EarthCopy !req
219. and ain't touching dirt nowhere!Copy !req
220. Nowhere!Copy !req
221. Yeah, that song so
good, and I'm your daddy,Copy !req
222. The Hitman, on XERA Radio!Copy !req
223. Moving right along, as
we told you earlier,Copy !req
224. it's celebrity time.Copy !req
225. The one and only Mr.
Excitement himself,Copy !req
226. Petey Wheatstraw,
what's happening man?Copy !req
227. I'm glad to be back in town.Copy !req
228. You know I'm opening
at Steve's DenCopy !req
229. with my all girls toy show.Copy !req
230. Hey I know it's
gonna be a good show.Copy !req
231. Tell us about this 'cause I knowCopy !req
232. it's gonna be a
right all situation.Copy !req
233. All I can say is to the peopleCopy !req
234. out there in radio
land I want toCopy !req
235. see your face in the placeCopy !req
236. and your feet under the seatCopy !req
237. so you can put some
zip in your hipCopy !req
238. and slide in your glide.Copy !req
239. Big fat girl
strutting in there but oh!Copy !req
240. Just a minute baby.Copy !req
241. And that's June
15th at Steve's Den.Copy !req
242. I'll talk to you later, baby.Copy !req
243. Be there!Copy !req
244. Our opening night?Copy !req
245. The 15th?Copy !req
246. Leroy!Copy !req
247. Leroy!Copy !req
248. I gotta talk to you, partner.Copy !req
249. Man, you made me
blow my damn shot!Copy !req
250. Wait a minute!Copy !req
251. I just learned on the radio
Petey Wheatstraw is in town.Copy !req
252. You what?Copy !req
253. He's gonna open show
there on June the 15th!Copy !req
254. Leroy, we can't stand
up to competition,Copy !req
255. he'll kill us for sure.Copy !req
256. Remember what Mr. White
said about his money.Copy !req
257. if we don't pay him back?Copy !req
258. We dead, partner, what
are we gonna do Leroy?Copy !req
259. What we gonna do?Copy !req
260. Shut up and let me think!Copy !req
261. What you got up
your sleeve, partner?Copy !req
262. Wait, I'll call
Petey on the phone.Copy !req
263. See if I can get
him to postpone.Copy !req
264. Dig it.Copy !req
265. And if that don't
work, there's other waysCopy !req
266. to make him give in.Copy !req
267. Get Willy on the phone quick!Copy !req
268. I'll get him on the phone.Copy !req
269. Rack man, rack 'em up!Copy !req
270. Well Steve, you got the jointCopy !req
271. looking good, but
you still ain'tCopy !req
272. done shit with that
small dressing room,Copy !req
273. you know Petey don't like
no small dressing room, man.Copy !req
274. Damn right, that dressing roomCopy !req
275. ain't big enough to fart in.Copy !req
276. You didn't come
here to fart or shit,Copy !req
277. you came here to do your thing!Copy !req
278. But your dressing room stillCopy !req
279. looks like a shit house!Copy !req
280. I got it looking
like a shit houseCopy !req
281. because of one reason,
Petey, let me tell you.Copy !req
282. The way a person shit tells ifCopy !req
283. they have love or larceny.Copy !req
284. See, people that have
love in their heart,Copy !req
285. they sit down and they shit.Copy !req
286. Reach for the toilet paper,
wipe that shitty ass,Copy !req
287. and then they flush it down.Copy !req
288. People that have
larceny, they sit downCopy !req
289. and they shit,Copy !req
290. wipe that shitty ass, but
because they have larceny,Copy !req
291. before they flush it down,Copy !req
292. they have to turn around
and peep at that shit.Copy !req
293. Anybody don't trust their own
asshole must have larceny.Copy !req
294. And it still looks like a
shit house, can you dig it?Copy !req
295. Let me say this, Petey.Copy !req
296. We got the posters ready,Copy !req
297. and man we are ready
to roll this weekend.Copy !req
298. Steve, you mean to tell meCopy !req
299. you haven't got the posters upCopy !req
300. and we getting ready
to open next week?Copy !req
301. Well never mind all that Petey.Copy !req
302. Anyway, I put my boy
right over there.Copy !req
303. Can I help, Ted?Copy !req
304. No Larry, you'd
just be in the way.Copy !req
305. Oh Ted, you haven't seen yourCopy !req
306. brother in four months,Copy !req
307. why don't you let
him come along?Copy !req
308. Come on, T.Copy !req
309. Okay, you can help.Copy !req
310. I'll go and get changed
and we'll get started.Copy !req
311. Matter of fact I'll kick in aCopy !req
312. few bucks for the little man.Copy !req
313. What?Copy !req
314. Steve, you are
volunteering to pay somebody?Copy !req
315. Don't you be so cold on my man.Copy !req
316. Oh baby, don't worry
about it, they only kidding.Copy !req
317. Petey, why don't
y'all drink up man,Copy !req
318. my lady's fixin' to poo, we
got to get on out of here.Copy !req
319. Let's drink a toast to
a successful engagement.Copy !req
320. Hey, stop!Copy !req
321. God damn!Copy !req
322. These dope-headed
junkies make me sick!Copy !req
323. That's why niggers in the
ghetto can't have shit!Copy !req
324. Hey you, get back!Copy !req
325. Jimmy, you should do
something, help him!Copy !req
326. I got the money, what the
hell you think I can do,Copy !req
327. I can't take those damn junkies!Copy !req
328. Shit!Copy !req
329. Come on, nigger, scram, man!Copy !req
330. Come on!Copy !req
331. Come on, fight it!Copy !req
332. Y'all got a lot of
nerve messing with my car.Copy !req
333. Penny addict junkies,
that's all you are.Copy !req
334. You'll take from your
mama, you'll even takeCopy !req
335. the limbs off of a tree!Copy !req
336. But I'm gonna kick your
ass for messing with me.Copy !req
337. All right, you clowns,
up on your feet.Copy !req
338. You going back to
my car and puttingCopy !req
339. my shit back just
like you found it!Copy !req
340. All right, let's go!Copy !req
341. All right, move!Copy !req
342. Ladies and gentlemen, I want youCopy !req
343. to remember their facesCopy !req
344. so you can know who's
breaking into your places!Copy !req
345. If they do it to me,
they'll do it to you!Copy !req
346. So I want you to stick your footCopy !req
347. up their ass the
next time they do!Copy !req
348. But Leroy, what we gonna do?Copy !req
349. If he's gonna put on a show—Copy !req
350. Shut up!Copy !req
351. I'm trying to think!Copy !req
352. - Willie!
- Yeah, boss?Copy !req
353. I want you to keep an eye onCopy !req
354. - Petey and his boys.
- Right.Copy !req
355. I wanna know every move theyCopy !req
356. make day and night.Copy !req
357. Take some of the boysCopy !req
358. and call me every
hour on the hour.Copy !req
359. Right.Copy !req
360. Castro, Brian, let's go.Copy !req
361. But Leroy!Copy !req
362. If he's gonna put on a show—Copy !req
363. You said that already!Copy !req
364. He's probably staying
at Nell's place.Copy !req
365. We'll call him.Copy !req
366. Maybe we can get him
to change his mind.Copy !req
367. Change his mind?Copy !req
368. After what we did to Petey?Copy !req
369. He'll come through that
phone and strangle us.Copy !req
370. Petey knows the score now.Copy !req
371. He's on our terrain now.Copy !req
372. All we gotta do is put a littleCopy !req
373. pressure on him, he'll yield.Copy !req
374. Leroy, I don't think—Copy !req
375. Don't think!Copy !req
376. Just get Nell on the phone.Copy !req
377. I wanna talk to Petey.Copy !req
378. Look, what is it
with you, Petey?Copy !req
379. Don't I even turn
you on a little?Copy !req
380. Nell, you know I don't like toCopy !req
381. mix business with pleasure.Copy !req
382. It's always business with you.Copy !req
383. You know how I feel about you.Copy !req
384. Nell, I didn't mean
to hurt you, baby.Copy !req
385. Come over here.Copy !req
386. Let's give it a whirl.Copy !req
387. May not even be as
bad as I think it is.Copy !req
388. Shit.Copy !req
389. Hello?Copy !req
390. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
391. It's for you, now don't be long.Copy !req
392. Baby, this is
gonna be the shortestCopy !req
393. phone call in Bell
Telephone's history.Copy !req
394. Can you dig it?Copy !req
395. Petey, how you doing, brother?Copy !req
396. Don't brother
me, you no businessCopy !req
397. barn rat soup eatin'
son of a bitch!Copy !req
398. I want you and that
fat slob partnerCopy !req
399. of yours to pay me the
money ya'll owe me!Copy !req
400. That's exactly
what I was calling you for.Copy !req
401. I want to pay you back,
but on one condition.Copy !req
402. Condition my ass!Copy !req
403. It's y'all that owe me!Copy !req
404. I will condition you,
I'll put my foot up youCopy !req
405. and that big bear's ass both!Copy !req
406. Look Petey, Skillet and I areCopy !req
407. in a bad position.Copy !req
408. You see, we want you to postponeCopy !req
409. your engagement
for a few months.Copy !req
410. We borrowed a big piece of moneyCopy !req
411. and we can't afford
your competition.Copy !req
412. You have the nerve to call meCopy !req
413. and ask me to cancel
my engagement!Copy !req
414. I wouldn't stop my show if youCopy !req
415. needed ice water in hell!Copy !req
416. So that's the way you
wanna play, huh nigga?Copy !req
417. Well you know two of us
can play that, you hear?Copy !req
418. Why you.Copy !req
419. What was that all about?Copy !req
420. Nell, listen, I want you to callCopy !req
421. Jimmy and the boys
because the shitCopy !req
422. look like it's done hit the fan.Copy !req
423. What about our little party?Copy !req
424. It'll have to wait.Copy !req
425. This is money.Copy !req
426. Business, baby.Copy !req
427. As you know, romance without
finance is a damn nuisance.Copy !req
428. Yeah?Copy !req
429. I'm still following
this Jackson dude, boss.Copy !req
430. He's hanging posters
all over the place.Copy !req
431. Well rough him up a bit.Copy !req
432. Petey won't bend,
so we'll bend him.Copy !req
433. I'm on it on.Copy !req
434. Shut up!Copy !req
435. Mmm mmm, this is
sho' 'nuff good!Copy !req
436. Ted, the next time you leaveCopy !req
437. are you gonna be gone long?Copy !req
438. I don't know, why?Copy !req
439. 'Cause when you're goneCopy !req
440. I don't have no one to talk to.Copy !req
441. You talk to mama, don't you?Copy !req
442. Yeah, but she's always working.Copy !req
443. She be too tired.Copy !req
444. Well what do you
do in the meantime?Copy !req
445. Swish!Copy !req
446. Play basketball 'cause I'm
gonna be a basketball star.Copy !req
447. And skip school.Copy !req
448. Yeah, mama told me
what you been doing.Copy !req
449. Look, if you wanna
be a basketball star,Copy !req
450. you're gonna have to
stop skipping school.Copy !req
451. You think Jabbar skipped school?Copy !req
452. No he didn't and
neither can you.Copy !req
453. Now I want you to
raise your right handCopy !req
454. and swear that you
won't skip again.Copy !req
455. Come on.Copy !req
456. Come on!Copy !req
457. I swear I won't
skip no more school.Copy !req
458. If Jabbar didn't
then I won't neither.Copy !req
459. My man!Copy !req
460. Now I want you to go
inside and tell mamaCopy !req
461. I'll be a little late and
not to wait up for me.Copy !req
462. Okay.Copy !req
463. Swish.Copy !req
464. Two points.Copy !req
465. You've been pretty
busy today, pal.Copy !req
466. Too bad you won't be able
to work like that tomorrow.Copy !req
467. 'Cause your arm's
gonna be broke.Copy !req
468. What are you
talking about, mister?Copy !req
469. Larry, go inside.Copy !req
470. No, I'm staying with you.Copy !req
471. I said go inside!Copy !req
472. Ted, he's got a gun!Copy !req
473. Larry, Larry!Copy !req
474. Larry!Copy !req
475. Larry!Copy !req
476. Oh my God, he shot my brother!Copy !req
477. I can't see you, Ted.Copy !req
478. I feel, I—Copy !req
479. Don't talk, Larry.Copy !req
480. It's gonna be all right.Copy !req
481. I saw the whole thing,Copy !req
482. I got the license
plates and everything.Copy !req
483. I called the police
and the ambulanceCopy !req
484. and they're on their way now.Copy !req
485. I won't skipCopy !req
486. no more school.Copy !req
487. I promise not.Copy !req
488. Oh no!Copy !req
489. No!Copy !req
490. Larry!Copy !req
491. No!Copy !req
492. Larry.Copy !req
493. My brother!Copy !req
494. Larry!Copy !req
495. Oh God, Larry!Copy !req
496. The Lord giveth.Copy !req
497. And the Lord taketh away.Copy !req
498. Blessed be the name of the Lord.Copy !req
499. The Lord is my Sheperd,
I shall not want.Copy !req
500. He makes me to lie
down in green pastures.Copy !req
501. Don't panic!Copy !req
502. Petey?Copy !req
503. Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
504. Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
505. Who are you, man?Copy !req
506. My card.Copy !req
507. Lou Cipher?Copy !req
508. A small mistake on
the part of the printer.Copy !req
509. Actually it's
pronounced Lucifer.Copy !req
510. Are you responsible
for all this madness?Copy !req
511. In most cases I am, but
in this particular instanceCopy !req
512. I happened to walk
upon this disaster.Copy !req
513. You may stand up.Copy !req
514. Where am I?Copy !req
515. Where am I?Copy !req
516. Where am I at?Copy !req
517. Your new home, Petey, if
everything works out well.Copy !req
518. Well if you're wondering,
Petey, you're quite dead.Copy !req
519. And what about all
of these other people?Copy !req
520. Are they?Copy !req
521. The ones that
have been shot, yes.Copy !req
522. The others are, you
might say, out to lunch.Copy !req
523. But what do you
want from me, man?Copy !req
524. My my, you're quite direct.Copy !req
525. I like that.Copy !req
526. She will like that too.Copy !req
527. She who?Copy !req
528. We'll talk about that later.Copy !req
529. Your problem seems
to be right now.Copy !req
530. I have a proposition
to offer you,Copy !req
531. Petey, are you
willing to listen?Copy !req
532. Your propositions you
always wind up on top.Copy !req
533. Just like the shit that
you done to Adam and Eve.Copy !req
534. Oh Petey, I was young then.Copy !req
535. My salad days.Copy !req
536. My style today is much
more sophisticated.Copy !req
537. Well what do you
want from me now?Copy !req
538. A son.Copy !req
539. A son?Copy !req
540. You got to be sick!Copy !req
541. How in the hell can
I give you a son?Copy !req
542. By simply marrying my daughter.Copy !req
543. What's in the deal for me, man?Copy !req
544. Gaze upon the root of all thisCopy !req
545. madness as you put it.Copy !req
546. Well?Copy !req
547. You don't have to worry
about Petey no more, boss.Copy !req
548. He's resting in peace.Copy !req
549. Good.Copy !req
550. Now that he's resting in peace,
we can rest in peace too.Copy !req
551. Lively times!Copy !req
552. Happy times!Copy !req
553. Happy times, yeah.Copy !req
554. Leroy and Skillet.Copy !req
555. I knew it was them two big
fat slobby son of a bitches!Copy !req
556. Yes, they felt threatened
by your upcoming show in town.Copy !req
557. Well why kill a little
boy like that in cold blood?Copy !req
558. If you would just calm
down a moment and listen,Copy !req
559. perhaps we can work things out.Copy !req
560. I'm listening.Copy !req
561. Marry my daughter
and give her a child.Copy !req
562. And I will arrange it for
you to have your life back.Copy !req
563. To strut and fret your
hour upon the stage again.Copy !req
564. Revenge will be yours,
Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
565. No, this is madness
man, you got to be sick.Copy !req
566. Well Petey, prepare to die.Copy !req
567. Let your wisdom be your weapon.Copy !req
568. Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom.Copy !req
569. All right.Copy !req
570. I'll marry your daughterCopy !req
571. and give her this son
that you need so badly.Copy !req
572. By the way, what does
your daughter look like?Copy !req
573. Gee, I hope beauty has nothing
to do with our proposition.Copy !req
574. Oh hell no, man, uh uh.Copy !req
575. No no no, I won't marry
her, deal or no deal.Copy !req
576. Kill me, man, kill me, uh umm.Copy !req
577. Yes, my daughter's
quite unfortunate.Copy !req
578. Very well, Petey.Copy !req
579. Wisdom, wisdom.Copy !req
580. All right, I'll marry her.Copy !req
581. You'll be hearing from
me from time to time.Copy !req
582. It will be as though none
of this ever happened.Copy !req
583. And the Lord taketh away.Copy !req
584. Blessed be the name of the Lord.Copy !req
585. The Lord is my sheperd.Copy !req
586. I shall not want.Copy !req
587. Oh Lord, my baby.Copy !req
588. Petey, how could
that be, I know—Copy !req
589. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
don't worry about it,Copy !req
590. I'll explain it to you later.Copy !req
591. Thank you, dear.Copy !req
592. That's the way it was.Copy !req
593. I'm not lying.Copy !req
594. That's some crazy
shit, isn't it?Copy !req
595. Crazy, yeah, but man you
making a deal with the Devil.Copy !req
596. You know how things
like that turn out.Copy !req
597. And anyway, I think
I'd rather be deadCopy !req
598. than marry someone ugly as that!Copy !req
599. The main thing
man, I'm still alive.Copy !req
600. Now listen, I can
figure out a wayCopy !req
601. to keep from marrying
the Devil's daughter,Copy !req
602. but the main thing we've got toCopy !req
603. deal with Leroy and
Skillet right now.Copy !req
604. But Petey, I'm scared.Copy !req
605. Now you know how
powerful the Devil is,Copy !req
606. and if you cross him,
he's gonna be mad as hell.Copy !req
607. I mean heaven.Copy !req
608. Oh shit.Copy !req
609. Oh Nell, you always
worry, now you knowCopy !req
610. I can take care of things.Copy !req
611. Ted!Copy !req
612. Ted!Copy !req
613. Are you all right?Copy !req
614. Man, I ain't gonna restCopy !req
615. until I settle with
Scarface Willie.Copy !req
616. Right this way, ladies.Copy !req
617. It's that little punk again.Copy !req
618. Come on, chump!Copy !req
619. Come on!Copy !req
620. We'll fix his ass
for keeps it this time.Copy !req
621. Come on!Copy !req
622. Hey man, come on, come on!Copy !req
623. Thought you
would've done learnedCopy !req
624. your lesson by now,
little brother.Copy !req
625. Guess you one of them
hard-headed niggers.Copy !req
626. Hold it, Bruce Lee!Copy !req
627. See now you too
dangerous to have around.Copy !req
628. I'm gonna arrange it so
you can be with PeteyCopy !req
629. and your kid brother
for all time!Copy !req
630. Start praying, pal!Copy !req
631. What's the matter, Willie,
the cat got your tongue?Copy !req
632. I oughta make you eat this gun!Copy !req
633. But I thought—Copy !req
634. Yes, tell your
boss I'm still aliveCopy !req
635. and I'm mad as a hornet
in a bumblebee hive!Copy !req
636. I want you to tell
your boss thatCopy !req
637. his days is numbered
and his luck is bad!Copy !req
638. So son of a bitch!Copy !req
639. Now get your ugly ass on!Copy !req
640. Get!Copy !req
641. Move!Copy !req
642. Why didn't you
let me finish him?Copy !req
643. Oh Ted, there will be
revenge on all of them for you,Copy !req
644. don't worry about it.Copy !req
645. Let's make it.Copy !req
646. Willie, you sure it was him?Copy !req
647. You're sure you got him?Copy !req
648. Well how in the hell
can he still be alive?Copy !req
649. Maybe he missed him.Copy !req
650. I know he was dead.Copy !req
651. Nobody could've stood the leadCopy !req
652. we pumped into him, nobody!Copy !req
653. I swear, Leroy!Copy !req
654. I saw him get hit too, boss.Copy !req
655. He must've took about
four or five slugs.Copy !req
656. Well how in the hell can heCopy !req
657. still be out there
walking around?Copy !req
658. Somebody tell me!Copy !req
659. What we gonna do, Leroy?Copy !req
660. Shut up and let me think!Copy !req
661. I gotta think.Copy !req
662. Phew, this is killing me!Copy !req
663. Let him think,
everybody, let him think.Copy !req
664. What happened to him?Copy !req
665. I think Willie's smell
was too much for him.Copy !req
666. I think I'm gonna pass out too.Copy !req
667. Willie, you get your
stinkin' ass out of here!Copy !req
668. Get out of here and go clean up!Copy !req
669. And get back here on the double!Copy !req
670. Somebody open a window
or something, damn.Copy !req
671. I've got it!Copy !req
672. Well come on with it.Copy !req
673. He lives in Nell's place.Copy !req
674. Right.Copy !req
675. We never did finish our
little party the other night,Copy !req
676. and now we're all aloneCopy !req
677. and there's no one
here to bother us,Copy !req
678. so I'll just take the
phone off the hook.Copy !req
679. Well I'll be damned.Copy !req
680. Hello?Copy !req
681. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
682. It's for you, now don't be long.Copy !req
683. Yes Petey, there's two thingsCopy !req
684. I neglected to tell you.Copy !req
685. One, you will have powers
beyond your wildest dreams.Copy !req
686. All you have to do is
use my magical cane.Copy !req
687. It contains all of my secrets.Copy !req
688. Two, you must be careful
where and how you use it.Copy !req
689. It will serve every
purpose you will ever need.Copy !req
690. All you have to do is
wield the cane, Petey,Copy !req
691. and my power is yours.Copy !req
692. Well thanks for calling, Lou.Copy !req
693. Well who's Lou?Copy !req
694. Don't worry about it, baby,Copy !req
695. let me introduce you
to a friend of mine.Copy !req
696. Oh at last, I'm
gonna put somethingCopy !req
697. on you you won't forget.Copy !req
698. Stop it!Copy !req
699. You guys are
tearing up my place!Copy !req
700. Police!Copy !req
701. Get away from me!Copy !req
702. Petey!Copy !req
703. Petey!Copy !req
704. Oh my vase, hey I'm not
through paying for this!Copy !req
705. Petey!Copy !req
706. Be careful!Copy !req
707. Petey, watch out!Copy !req
708. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
709. Get up, come on.Copy !req
710. Hello?Copy !req
711. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
712. It's for you.Copy !req
713. Yes.Copy !req
714. Petey, I suggest you
pick up that cane tonight.Copy !req
715. At the rate your friends
Skillet and Leroy are going,Copy !req
716. they might surprise
you at any moment.Copy !req
717. And you do want to protect
yourself the next time.Copy !req
718. Thanks again.Copy !req
719. Hello?Copy !req
720. Petey?Copy !req
721. What?Copy !req
722. Graveyard?Copy !req
723. Man, at a time like this?Copy !req
724. Aw shit.Copy !req
725. Petey!Copy !req
726. Petey!Copy !req
727. Sure had a
wonderful time tonight!Copy !req
728. Oh shit, really blew my lid.Copy !req
729. Everybody tell me I did.Copy !req
730. Oh boy did I party up in
this tonight.Copy !req
731. Still takes me so
damn long to get home,Copy !req
732. gee, Maple's gonna be
wondering about me.Copy !req
733. My house look like it done gotCopy !req
734. a little bit small too.Copy !req
735. Maple!Copy !req
736. Open the door, baby,
your baby home!Copy !req
737. Open the door, woman!Copy !req
738. Your out here,Copy !req
739. I know you're in
there, baby, let me in!Copy !req
740. That woman don't
wanna let me in.Copy !req
741. It's, woman let me in!Copy !req
742. You won't come open,
well I'll just go all,Copy !req
743. I ain't gonna tell you whereCopy !req
744. I'm going, somewhere else.Copy !req
745. That's what I'm gonna do.Copy !req
746. Petey, what are we looking
for in this graveyard?Copy !req
747. Just a little further.Copy !req
748. Petey!Copy !req
749. Listen, listen!Copy !req
750. I don't hear nothing, man.Copy !req
751. Well I hear something, listen.Copy !req
752. Come on, man, I
don't hear nothing.Copy !req
753. That's it Pete!Copy !req
754. Come over here, man.Copy !req
755. Come over here, you
scared fool you!Copy !req
756. Cold down hereCopy !req
757. Cold down here.Copy !req
758. Well no wonder you cold,Copy !req
759. you damn fool, you done kickedCopy !req
760. all the dirt off of you!Copy !req
761. Help me!Copy !req
762. Come on, let's do
what we come here forCopy !req
763. and let's get out of here.Copy !req
764. Oh shit man, why you so scared?Copy !req
765. Hell, this is a graveyard!Copy !req
766. Let's put some
dirt on him, Jimmy.Copy !req
767. Man, I ain't gonna
put nothing on him.Copy !req
768. Come on, let's get what
you got and get outta here!Copy !req
769. Come on, man!Copy !req
770. Come on man, don't
be so scared, come on!Copy !req
771. Just a little further.Copy !req
772. Ah, there it is.Copy !req
773. The tire.Copy !req
774. Man, shit, you come
out here to get a tire,Copy !req
775. now you could've gotten
a tire in the morning!Copy !req
776. Now we can leave.Copy !req
777. I've gots what I come here for.Copy !req
778. What's that for?Copy !req
779. Come on, come on, come on,
let's leave, let's leave.Copy !req
780. Come on man, come on!Copy !req
781. Come back here, Jimmy!Copy !req
782. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
783. Put those corks in the cooler!Copy !req
784. How many times do I
have to tell you that?Copy !req
785. What is that plant
doing over there?Copy !req
786. Put it on the other
side of the building!Copy !req
787. Right.Copy !req
788. Then get up on that ladder andCopy !req
789. fix that better than that.Copy !req
790. Get that shit down from
there, and what are you doing?Copy !req
791. Move that out from over there!Copy !req
792. Let's get moving!Copy !req
793. Hey boss!Copy !req
794. Hello!Copy !req
795. Mr. White!Copy !req
796. Mr. White, if this
ain't the bestCopy !req
797. investment that you
ever made in your life,Copy !req
798. I'll stand on my head, it's big!Copy !req
799. It's colossal.Copy !req
800. It's not even open yet.Copy !req
801. Don't try and sell
me, sell tickets.Copy !req
802. Oh they selling by the hundredsCopy !req
803. Mr. White, by the hundreds.Copy !req
804. Good.Copy !req
805. Now what about this
Wheatstraw character?Copy !req
806. I understand he's
opening a show nearby.Copy !req
807. Now I hope he's no
competition to you guys.Copy !req
808. No siree, Mr. White.Copy !req
809. We already killed—Copy !req
810. Uh, what my partner's
trying to say,Copy !req
811. we've killed the idea
of Mr. WheatstrawCopy !req
812. opening a show here.Copy !req
813. See, he's a friend of ours.Copy !req
814. Okay fine.Copy !req
815. Hold five tickets for me
and my friends, front row.Copy !req
816. We'll announce
you too, Mr. White.Copy !req
817. Nothing's too good for
you and your friends,Copy !req
818. nothing's too good.Copy !req
819. Maybe this is a
good deal after all.Copy !req
820. The wife will love it.Copy !req
821. She goes for stuff like this.Copy !req
822. Well I'll see you guys
tomorrow night at the opening.Copy !req
823. Oh, and break your legs.Copy !req
824. He likes to make jokes.Copy !req
825. Oh Leroy.Copy !req
826. If Petey opens
the show, we dead,Copy !req
827. partner, we dead, you know that.Copy !req
828. If I had good
people around working,Copy !req
829. Petey would've been out
the way a long time ago.Copy !req
830. Boss, I'm telling you, he's gotCopy !req
831. some kind of power or something.Copy !req
832. I mean—Copy !req
833. Boss, you know I don't
believe in that kindCopy !req
834. of shit either, but
it's true, it's weird.Copy !req
835. Don't give me that
supernatural shit!Copy !req
836. You just didn't do your job!Copy !req
837. No!Copy !req
838. Willie, I'm giving
you one more chance.Copy !req
839. If you blow this one,
I'll knock your assCopy !req
840. in the middle of next week andCopy !req
841. be ready for you again Saturday.Copy !req
842. You understand?Copy !req
843. Boss, I—Copy !req
844. Don't but boss me, I
want his show stopped!Copy !req
845. Oughta ask the book, you
just didn't do your job, boy!Copy !req
846. We've gone too
far to turn around!Copy !req
847. Leroy and Skillet
has gone too far.Copy !req
848. They want their
cake and eat it too.Copy !req
849. You know, thicker.Copy !req
850. Well you know how
greedy they are.Copy !req
851. Plus they've always
been jealous of you,Copy !req
852. haven't they, Jimmy?Copy !req
853. You know how it is,
hun, I ain't got timeCopy !req
854. to even think about
Skillet and Leroy.Copy !req
855. I'm sorry I was late,
I just got off workCopy !req
856. and my piano player
couldn't make it,Copy !req
857. but I can sing acapella.Copy !req
858. Damn, who in the
hell is that bitch?Copy !req
859. She must be singing for Jimmy.Copy !req
860. - Singing for who?
- For you.Copy !req
861. I ain't never see
that woman before.Copy !req
862. Well she can't be
singing for Petey.Copy !req
863. What's going on?Copy !req
864. What the shit is going on?Copy !req
865. Better not.Copy !req
866. Petey, let go of the thing.Copy !req
867. Who in there?Copy !req
868. Petey, I told you that cane.Copy !req
869. It's leading me to the bathroom!Copy !req
870. Jimmy!Copy !req
871. Jimmy!Copy !req
872. A bomb!Copy !req
873. A bomb!Copy !req
874. Take it outside,
take it outside.Copy !req
875. Take it outside,
take it outside!Copy !req
876. Hey, where's everybody going?Copy !req
877. Do I get the job?Copy !req
878. I got another number.Copy !req
879. Get out of there, it's a bomb!Copy !req
880. Petey!Copy !req
881. Petey, are you all right?Copy !req
882. Well damn, Petey,
look at that shit,Copy !req
883. them suckers are trying
to play for keeps!Copy !req
884. Man, they tried to
blow up my damn joint!Copy !req
885. Please give into 'em Petey,Copy !req
886. somebody is gonna get hurt.Copy !req
887. We got to get
this shit straight!Copy !req
888. Nell, go and get tickets
to Leroy and Skillet.Copy !req
889. You damn right 'cause
I think we need to go.Copy !req
890. What, Petey, are you crazy?Copy !req
891. Don't you know what
they'll do to you?Copy !req
892. I'm gonna give them an openingCopy !req
893. that they will never forget!Copy !req
894. Damn right!Copy !req
895. Mister White!Copy !req
896. Good evening, boys.Copy !req
897. Good
evening, Mr. White.Copy !req
898. How you doing, sir?Copy !req
899. Oh, this is my wife Joanne.Copy !req
900. And her sister Babs.Copy !req
901. Good evening.Copy !req
902. My my, she's more lovelier
than you ever described.Copy !req
903. Right this way, folks.Copy !req
904. I got a front way table for ya.Copy !req
905. Right this way.Copy !req
906. Hey man, don't I know
you from somewhere?Copy !req
907. Hell no, man, you don't know me.Copy !req
908. Jimmy, I'm so sick
and tired of theseCopy !req
909. Americans talking
about they know me,Copy !req
910. let's get the girls
and leave here.Copy !req
911. No man, do not
be like that, man.Copy !req
912. We come to see a
show, why don't weCopy !req
913. go in and enjoy ourselves,
do not worry about it.Copy !req
914. Very well, step aside, you
fat-faced son of a bitch.Copy !req
915. Have a good evening, man.Copy !req
916. Thank you.Copy !req
917. Thank you.Copy !req
918. You've been listening
to the soul soundsCopy !req
919. of Clive Maron and Her,
it is showtime now.Copy !req
920. So let's welcome to the floorCopy !req
921. two of the funniest
men in show business.Copy !req
922. None other than
Leroy and Skillet!Copy !req
923. Ladies and gentlemen,
let me introduce to youCopy !req
924. the ones that made it
possible for me and SkilletCopy !req
925. to bring this big
show to you tonight.Copy !req
926. Seated right here in front of meCopy !req
927. is none other than
Mr. And Mrs. WhiteCopy !req
928. and their beautiful guest,Copy !req
929. give 'em a great
round of applause!Copy !req
930. Leroy!Copy !req
931. Hey Skillet, what's going on?Copy !req
932. I heard you were smart, partner.Copy !req
933. I am smart, Skillet.Copy !req
934. You smart?Copy !req
935. I'm smart, Skillet.Copy !req
936. If you're so smart,
answer me this.Copy !req
937. Answer you what?Copy !req
938. If you have $23.18
in one pocket.Copy !req
939. $23.18 in one pocket.Copy !req
940. And $13.42 in
the other pocket.Copy !req
941. $13.42 cents in
the other pocket.Copy !req
942. What would you have?Copy !req
943. I'd have on
somebody else's pants,Copy !req
944. they sure wouldn't be mine.Copy !req
945. Do it now, Petey, do it now.Copy !req
946. Uncross your legs
whitey, you gonna chokeCopy !req
947. your fool self to death.Copy !req
948. Leroy!Copy !req
949. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
950. I don't know, Skillet.Copy !req
951. I opened my mouth
and it just came out.Copy !req
952. Sorry folks, I hope
you didn't get offended.Copy !req
953. My partner gets carried
away a little bit at a time.Copy !req
954. Speaking of carrying away,Copy !req
955. they should carry
this bitch awayCopy !req
956. sitting on that
blue satin bedsheet.Copy !req
957. What's the matter, mama,Copy !req
958. you think a nigger don't know
a bedsheet when he see one?Copy !req
959. Leroy!Copy !req
960. You gonna get us killed, man!Copy !req
961. I really don't know
what's happening.Copy !req
962. It's working,
Petey, it's working.Copy !req
963. Sorry, folks.Copy !req
964. I hope we didn't put too muchCopy !req
965. water in your damn drinks.Copy !req
966. You assholes!Copy !req
967. Oh what am I saying?Copy !req
968. Moving right along, folks.Copy !req
969. We'd like to bring
our next act to you.Copy !req
970. So let's meet and
greet Miss Tami Small.Copy !req
971. Come on, Skillet,
let's get outta here!Copy !req
972. Petey, how did you
make that cane do that?Copy !req
973. Tami, what the hell
happened to you up there?Copy !req
974. What happened?Copy !req
975. Now I will fix
both of 'em for good!Copy !req
976. What the hell's
going on out there?Copy !req
977. I don't know.Copy !req
978. Sound like they're
tearing the place apart.Copy !req
979. What's goin' on in there?Copy !req
980. Where's the key?Copy !req
981. Where is it?Copy !req
982. I don't know, I
can't find the key!Copy !req
983. What's the matter, chump?Copy !req
984. Can't find your key?Copy !req
985. You got it all wrong!Copy !req
986. No, no!Copy !req
987. I'm gonna take you
apart piece by piece!Copy !req
988. Then I'm gonna kill you!Copy !req
989. Like you killed my brother!Copy !req
990. What's the matter, Willie?Copy !req
991. Leroy!Copy !req
992. What is it, Skillet?Copy !req
993. You should've
remembered what I told ya!Copy !req
994. What was that, Skillet?Copy !req
995. Money's the root of all evil!Copy !req
996. Well Skillet, it
look like they'veCopy !req
997. been our root.Copy !req
998. Wait a minute!Copy !req
999. Wait a minute!Copy !req
1000. That'll take care of them twoCopy !req
1001. big fat slobby son of a bitches.Copy !req
1002. Right on, Petey, let's go.Copy !req
1003. Oh Jimmy, where's Ted?Copy !req
1004. Don't you die on me, man!Copy !req
1005. Don't you cheat me!Copy !req
1006. You don't cheat me out of this!Copy !req
1007. Don't cheat me!Copy !req
1008. Don't cheat me!Copy !req
1009. Ted!Copy !req
1010. It's over, it's over man.Copy !req
1011. Come on, come on, let's go.Copy !req
1012. It's over.Copy !req
1013. Come on, Ted.Copy !req
1014. It's over.Copy !req
1015. Well pet, what do you think?Copy !req
1016. Is he?Copy !req
1017. Oh he's divinely sexy!Copy !req
1018. And he's all yours, my pet.Copy !req
1019. Now we can make preparations
for your wedding.Copy !req
1020. Oh Father, my joy is
as boundless as the sea.Copy !req
1021. And just as deep.Copy !req
1022. The both are infinite.Copy !req
1023. Big Daddy, wait a
minute now, I have laboredCopy !req
1024. all day long cooking this
dinner over this stoveCopy !req
1025. and I had the kids waiting.Copy !req
1026. You mean you gonna walk
off and leave like that?Copy !req
1027. I wanted to honey, but I gottaCopy !req
1028. make this meeting,
see you later.Copy !req
1029. Hey baby, what's happening?Copy !req
1030. Oh hi, hun.Copy !req
1031. How you doing?Copy !req
1032. I see what's happening,
I knew I'd catch youCopy !req
1033. over here with this
young woman in this car!Copy !req
1034. Baby, please, wait a minute—Copy !req
1035. Hell no, you couldn't
pay to wait a minute.Copy !req
1036. You ain't nothing
but a damn fool!Copy !req
1037. Out here fooling around
with these young women!Copy !req
1038. I knew I'd get you someday
and you're trapped!Copy !req
1039. Let me explain it to you, okay?Copy !req
1040. Baby please!Copy !req
1041. Shut up talking to me!Copy !req
1042. Come on, you don't
understand, let me—Copy !req
1043. This is your last meeting!Copy !req
1044. Wait!Copy !req
1045. Don't kill him, ma'am!Copy !req
1046. I have one wish I will
grant you, what might it be?Copy !req
1047. He's a dog, he's a damn dog.Copy !req
1048. Just turn him into a
little black puppy.Copy !req
1049. That wish will be granted.Copy !req
1050. How did you do that?Copy !req
1051. I got the power,
mama, that's how.Copy !req
1052. I got the power.Copy !req
1053. Thank you, mister.Copy !req
1054. Come on, sugar, mama gonna takeCopy !req
1055. you home and give
you some dinner.Copy !req
1056. Some dog food!Copy !req
1057. Good morning miss,
can you tell meCopy !req
1058. where to find Mr. Wheatstraw,
Mr. Petey Wheatstraw?Copy !req
1059. Here's not here right now,Copy !req
1060. but I'm his personal
secretary, can I help you?Copy !req
1061. Not really.Copy !req
1062. I much prefer to
speak to him myself.Copy !req
1063. Do you have any idea
when he will be back?Copy !req
1064. Later on this afternoon.Copy !req
1065. Are you sure I can't help you?Copy !req
1066. Quite sure, young lady.Copy !req
1067. Quite sure.Copy !req
1068. You give him this
card and you tell himCopy !req
1069. to contact me right away.Copy !req
1070. Bye.Copy !req
1071. Don't ever do it
anymore, did you hear me?Copy !req
1072. You hear me?Copy !req
1073. For that I'm gonna comb
your nappy head for you!Copy !req
1074. Hey Petey!Copy !req
1075. Look, I'll call you back, okay?Copy !req
1076. Yes, Nell?Copy !req
1077. A man came by here
looking for you.Copy !req
1078. A man?Copy !req
1079. What was his name?Copy !req
1080. Well he left his card.Copy !req
1081. It was right there, I don't
know what happened to it.Copy !req
1082. Well what did he look like?Copy !req
1083. A weirdo.Copy !req
1084. Shit, that's all
I've been runningCopy !req
1085. into since I've been
in here, is weirdos,Copy !req
1086. one after another.Copy !req
1087. Well this one
was really strange,Copy !req
1088. he wouldn't tell
me what he wanted.Copy !req
1089. Nell, I've got to
get my act togetherCopy !req
1090. for the opening, I'm going
upstairs and rehearse.Copy !req
1091. I don't want to see anyone.Copy !req
1092. Well I'll make sure
you are not disturbed.Copy !req
1093. Thanks Nell.Copy !req
1094. You're welcome.Copy !req
1095. Good afternoon, Petey,
there's no need for that.Copy !req
1096. It's me.Copy !req
1097. Lou.Copy !req
1098. Oh Lou.Copy !req
1099. How have you been?Copy !req
1100. I've been fine, Petey.Copy !req
1101. I saw your heroic act today.Copy !req
1102. The little boy.Copy !req
1103. He was mine you know.Copy !req
1104. You shouldn't use
that cane so loosely.Copy !req
1105. Well it was lying
around doing nothing,Copy !req
1106. so I thought I would
put it to some use.Copy !req
1107. You haven't forgotten
our deal, have you Petey?Copy !req
1108. I've kept up my end of the
bargain, now it's your turn.Copy !req
1109. I wouldn't miss
it for the world.Copy !req
1110. I'm looking forward to it.Copy !req
1111. Good.Copy !req
1112. Then prepare yourself
for the wedding.Copy !req
1113. Tomorrow.Copy !req
1114. Why so soon?Copy !req
1115. I came to your aid soon.Copy !req
1116. Don't you think one good
deed deserves another?Copy !req
1117. Where's this wedding
gonna take place?Copy !req
1118. Down there of course.Copy !req
1119. Incidentally, you
can give me the cane.Copy !req
1120. I need this cane
for another day.Copy !req
1121. Okay, Petey.Copy !req
1122. I suppose it'll be all right.Copy !req
1123. Just as long as
you don't interfereCopy !req
1124. with any of my actions.Copy !req
1125. Don't have to worry.Copy !req
1126. I won't give you any trouble.Copy !req
1127. Very good.Copy !req
1128. I'll pick you up tomorrow
night about 11:30.Copy !req
1129. I'll be waiting, Lou.Copy !req
1130. Or should I say Father?Copy !req
1131. It doesn't matter!Copy !req
1132. Just marry her so I can rest.Copy !req
1133. Goodbye, Petey.Copy !req
1134. Goodbye, Father.Copy !req
1135. Petey, how did that
man get in there?Copy !req
1136. I've been right here all day.Copy !req
1137. Just call Jimmy and
get him on the phone,Copy !req
1138. I'll explain later.Copy !req
1139. Look like the shit
is gonna hit the fan.Copy !req
1140. Petey, who was that man?Copy !req
1141. That's Lucifer,
ol' Satan himself.Copy !req
1142. I knew it!Copy !req
1143. I could feel something
strange about him.Copy !req
1144. Petey, what are you gonna do?Copy !req
1145. Nell don't ask so many
questions, do as I say.Copy !req
1146. Call Jimmy right away.Copy !req
1147. Okay, all right.Copy !req
1148. Jimmy, I got to find a wayCopy !req
1149. to keep from marrying
this ugly bitch.Copy !req
1150. This ho is so ugly she can scareCopy !req
1151. a hungry bulldog off the
back of a meat truck.Copy !req
1152. Call Lucifer up and tell himCopy !req
1153. you got the claps and you wannaCopy !req
1154. take a few years to
clear your system up.Copy !req
1155. Man, that's not
a few year affair,Copy !req
1156. that's only a few day affair.Copy !req
1157. Well hell, tell him you
got the Alabama claps.Copy !req
1158. I got it, Nell,
give me the phone.Copy !req
1159. But the bitch is
still ugly enoughCopy !req
1160. to break daylight with her fist.Copy !req
1161. Now what you fixin' to do?Copy !req
1162. I'm gonna call Lucifer.Copy !req
1163. No need to call him, he
know he got an ugly bitch.Copy !req
1164. Hello?Copy !req
1165. Lou, listen.Copy !req
1166. I've got a question to ask you.Copy !req
1167. Yes, I'd like to go into
meditation before my wedding.Copy !req
1168. Meditation?Copy !req
1169. What do you mean meditation?Copy !req
1170. Well my father was a
guru and he said to meCopy !req
1171. "Son, my only son,"
says "it would be niceCopy !req
1172. "if you would meditate
before your wedding."Copy !req
1173. Do you have to?Copy !req
1174. Yes, old Father
would like it, Lou.Copy !req
1175. Very well.Copy !req
1176. Just as long as you are there.Copy !req
1177. I'll be there, but Lou,Copy !req
1178. remember I'll be
in deep meditation.Copy !req
1179. Bye, Father.Copy !req
1180. Meditation?Copy !req
1181. Man, you don't know
about no damn meditation!Copy !req
1182. Jimmy, you know you usedCopy !req
1183. to be good at making things.Copy !req
1184. Yeah, so what's that mean?Copy !req
1185. I want you to make a
mask that looks like me.Copy !req
1186. And we'll go and get a winoCopy !req
1187. and we'll dope that
sucker up not with wine,Copy !req
1188. but with the heavy shit.Copy !req
1189. We'll put that mask on him andCopy !req
1190. when Lou comes to pick me
up we'll let him take him.Copy !req
1191. And by the time he
find out it ain't me,Copy !req
1192. we'll be all the
way across country.Copy !req
1193. Now where are you
gonna find a wino?Copy !req
1194. Down at the Dewdrop Inn.Copy !req
1195. If you go down there dressed
like that you'll drop in.Copy !req
1196. There one is over there, Jimmy.Copy !req
1197. Where?Copy !req
1198. You see him right there.Copy !req
1199. Man look at that asshole,Copy !req
1200. don't you know he too fat?Copy !req
1201. You right, he is all
butt and gut, but he'll do.Copy !req
1202. Let's dope up that son of a gunCopy !req
1203. and carry him to ol' Lou.Copy !req
1204. Well give me the shit
then, let me get him ready.Copy !req
1205. When I get him set
up, I want y'allCopy !req
1206. to come right out
there soon as I get himCopy !req
1207. to turn around and do
it to him, you hear?Copy !req
1208. Get him ready.Copy !req
1209. What's happening, Uncle Jake?Copy !req
1210. I haven't seen you
in three years.Copy !req
1211. Man I've been back
in town a week,Copy !req
1212. I've been looking
for, where you been?Copy !req
1213. I'm not your Uncle Jake!Copy !req
1214. You'll be my uncle
now, you fat rascal,Copy !req
1215. you and anything else
I want you to be.Copy !req
1216. Damn, looks just like Petey!Copy !req
1217. How long will this
mask last, Jimmy?Copy !req
1218. At least a couple days.Copy !req
1219. Good.Copy !req
1220. I'll tell my Father
not to disturbCopy !req
1221. my meditation for
a couple of weeks.Copy !req
1222. What about y'alls honeymoon?Copy !req
1223. Yeah, suppose the ugly broadCopy !req
1224. want some and she
started playingCopy !req
1225. around with that damn
wino and nothing happens?Copy !req
1226. Then she'll know how I feel.Copy !req
1227. Don't worry, don't worry.Copy !req
1228. She will never know
the difference.Copy !req
1229. But Petey, suppose
Lucifer finds outCopy !req
1230. we done crossed him, man you
know the shit's gonna fly.Copy !req
1231. Listen, I'd rather
for the shit to flyCopy !req
1232. than for me to have to
marry that ugly bitch.Copy !req
1233. But you know that weird
dude don't take no shit.Copy !req
1234. Just remember one thing.Copy !req
1235. What's that?Copy !req
1236. I've got his cane and that makesCopy !req
1237. me just as powerful as he.Copy !req
1238. There it is, it's finished.Copy !req
1239. All right, let's put it on
the wino and see how it fits.Copy !req
1240. Well Petey, there you
lay and here you stand.Copy !req
1241. But if ol' Lucifer find out,Copy !req
1242. I'm gonna tell you there'll
be some shit in the sand.Copy !req
1243. It's weird.Copy !req
1244. Petey, he looks just like you.Copy !req
1245. Well kiss my Aunt Rhoda's ass.Copy !req
1246. resemble me.Copy !req
1247. I tell you what we
do, call my FatherCopy !req
1248. and tell him that I am
ready to be picked up.Copy !req
1249. Where am I supposed
to sleep tonight?Copy !req
1250. Baby, stay here, ain't
nothing but a wino,Copy !req
1251. he'll be out for
two, three days.Copy !req
1252. Petey, I'm not staying
here with no derelict.Copy !req
1253. I'll tell you what, we'll rentCopy !req
1254. a motel room for the night.Copy !req
1255. Good.Copy !req
1256. Petey, I still think you oughtaCopy !req
1257. marry the ugly old
rascal and figure how toCopy !req
1258. get you a divorce when
you get down in hell.Copy !req
1259. Don't worry about
it, it'll work.Copy !req
1260. Let's cover the wino up and
get the hell outta here.Copy !req
1261. Damn, time sure is going
slow, it's only three o'clock.Copy !req
1262. I wish we could get
this shit over with,Copy !req
1263. this is worrying
the hell out of me.Copy !req
1264. Why, why did you
have to meet himCopy !req
1265. here in my place man?Copy !req
1266. Oh Petey, I'm so scared.Copy !req
1267. I mean what if
something goes wrong?Copy !req
1268. We may never see
each other again.Copy !req
1269. Now don't worry about it.Copy !req
1270. Everything's gonna
be all right, baby.Copy !req
1271. Petey, it's him.Copy !req
1272. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
1273. Everybody just smile.Copy !req
1274. Good afternoon,
Petey and friends.Copy !req
1275. Good afternoon, Father.Copy !req
1276. Ah, Petey, I feel
great, just great!Copy !req
1277. Father, why are
you here so soon?Copy !req
1278. I thought you were coming downCopy !req
1279. about 11 o'clock tonight?Copy !req
1280. Oh Petey, I came by to
give you a pre-wedding gift.Copy !req
1281. If your friends will
excuse you for awhile.Copy !req
1282. I'm going away with my
Father for a little while.Copy !req
1283. I want y'all to take
care of the fort.Copy !req
1284. Can you dig it?Copy !req
1285. Father!Copy !req
1286. I hope I'll see you later.Copy !req
1287. Wait a minute, man, where
in the hell are we going?Copy !req
1288. My, you're quite edgy.Copy !req
1289. Pre-wedding jitters, I suppose.Copy !req
1290. I wanna know about this gift
you've been telling me about.Copy !req
1291. It's just up the street, Petey.Copy !req
1292. Come along!Copy !req
1293. Man, if you've got to run for itCopy !req
1294. it must be a groovy situation.Copy !req
1295. That's the spirit!Copy !req
1296. Oh Father, why you
bringing me here?Copy !req
1297. Look like this place
been closed for years.Copy !req
1298. Enter, my son.Copy !req
1299. Go go go go.Copy !req
1300. Come on, that's the spirit.Copy !req
1301. Back, back!Copy !req
1302. Back back back!Copy !req
1303. Damn, father!Copy !req
1304. You having trouble
trying to findCopy !req
1305. a husband for your daughter.Copy !req
1306. You ain't gonna never
find a wife for your son.Copy !req
1307. That's not my son.Copy !req
1308. Your very own
bachelor party, Petey.Copy !req
1309. Father, there's
no one here but us.Copy !req
1310. But father!Copy !req
1311. How in the world?Copy !req
1312. When I was
young, I always wanted one.Copy !req
1313. Never did though.Copy !req
1314. Have fun, Petey.Copy !req
1315. Petey.Copy !req
1316. Petey.Copy !req
1317. Petey.Copy !req
1318. He's indeed strong.Copy !req
1319. I'll never forget
this raggedy old shack.Copy !req
1320. If I ever get a chance
I'll damn sure come back.Copy !req
1321. A gift from my Father
that's against the law,Copy !req
1322. but you girls will always
remember ol' Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
1323. Where in the hell is Petey?Copy !req
1324. He should've been
here hours ago.Copy !req
1325. What time is it, Jimmy?Copy !req
1326. It's almost 11 o'clock, Nell.Copy !req
1327. I'm supposed to be calling
the man in a few minutes.Copy !req
1328. Petey, where in the
hell have you been?Copy !req
1329. Supposed to being pick
you up in a few minutes.Copy !req
1330. Partying hardy,
is everything ready?Copy !req
1331. Take a look at yourself.Copy !req
1332. Good, when they
come to pick me upCopy !req
1333. I want y'all to act very
sad that I'm leaving.Copy !req
1334. And when they leave, let's
meet over at Nell's place.Copy !req
1335. Okay.Copy !req
1336. Hey hey, they're here,
they coming in right now!Copy !req
1337. The time has arrived.Copy !req
1338. Oh Petey.Copy !req
1339. Petey Wheatstraw
must come with us.Copy !req
1340. He's waiting, sir.Copy !req
1341. But be very careful
with him becauseCopy !req
1342. you do not want to disturb
his deep meditation.Copy !req
1343. Goodbye, Petey, we're
gonna miss you so much!Copy !req
1344. We've been had,Copy !req
1345. my dear.Copy !req
1346. How could he do that?Copy !req
1347. Of course, he still
has that cane.Copy !req
1348. Get that cane and
bring that wretchedCopy !req
1349. Petey Wheatstraw to me!Copy !req
1350. I knew it, I knew it, Petey,Copy !req
1351. I told you it wasn't gonna work!Copy !req
1352. Oh my apartment must be a wreck!Copy !req
1353. Petey, maybe you
should've married her.Copy !req
1354. Nell, you got be sick!Copy !req
1355. Petey, Petey, I told
you it wouldn't work!Copy !req
1356. They're out to get me, I
don't know what we gonna do!Copy !req
1357. Oh Petey, they were horrible!Copy !req
1358. Shit, I was scared to death!Copy !req
1359. The cane is the
strength, as long asCopy !req
1360. we can keep it, we
have nothing to fear!Copy !req
1361. Then what we supposed to
do, live together forever?Copy !req
1362. The cane, we can keep it untilCopy !req
1363. we can get out of town,
it will protect us.Copy !req
1364. Let's make it, we gonna catch
the first thing smoking.Copy !req
1365. I have been made
a complete fool of.Copy !req
1366. Now retribution is
due Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
1367. Bring the dirty dog to me!Copy !req
1368. I'll fix his ass!Copy !req
1369. You are my chosen disciples.Copy !req
1370. The prides of my kingdom.Copy !req
1371. Now go...Copy !req
1372. and bring Petey
Wheatstraw to me.Copy !req
1373. Can we all please
hurry up, we late,Copy !req
1374. we gotta catch the damn plane!Copy !req
1375. Jimmy, we're hurrying
as fast as we can,Copy !req
1376. Petey, what about my
apartment and all my things?Copy !req
1377. To hell with this apartment!Copy !req
1378. We've got to make it,
let's get out of here!Copy !req
1379. Petey, look out!Copy !req
1380. Ted!Copy !req
1381. Petey, let's get
the hell outta here!Copy !req
1382. What's going on?Copy !req
1383. Come on here, you ol—Copy !req
1384. Petey, wait!Copy !req
1385. Forget that stuff, Nell!Copy !req
1386. I gotta get my stuff.Copy !req
1387. - Come on!
- It costs money!Copy !req
1388. Dammit!Copy !req
1389. Petey!Copy !req
1390. Jimmy, wait!Copy !req
1391. Can't wait, come on!Copy !req
1392. I'm trying, I'm outta breath!Copy !req
1393. Come on and sit down
for a minute and rest.Copy !req
1394. Petey, what's happening?Copy !req
1395. Now we gotta do something.Copy !req
1396. Oh my God!Copy !req
1397. Oh damn, Petey!Copy !req
1398. Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
1399. Stop fighting at once,
or the woman dies!Copy !req
1400. Petey!Copy !req
1401. Petey, please help me!Copy !req
1402. Bargain time again, Petey!Copy !req
1403. Come on, y'all.Copy !req
1404. Just you, Petey!Copy !req
1405. And bring my cane with you!Copy !req
1406. Jimmy, go and get your car.Copy !req
1407. Park it out front.Copy !req
1408. I'll be down in a minute.Copy !req
1409. I trusted you, Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
1410. And you made a fool of me.Copy !req
1411. I could kill you, Petey!Copy !req
1412. And feel nothing.Copy !req
1413. But I have a better idea.Copy !req
1414. You will marry my daughter
and I will see to itCopy !req
1415. that she makes every breath
you draw a prayer for death!Copy !req
1416. Forever!Copy !req
1417. What about Nell?Copy !req
1418. I have no use for
her, she may go.Copy !req
1419. Seize him!Copy !req
1420. Bind him!Copy !req
1421. Hold him, you idiots!Copy !req
1422. Nell, where the hell is Petey?Copy !req
1423. They still got him up there.Copy !req
1424. Jimmy, you gotta do something,
now we gotta help him,Copy !req
1425. we gotta go up
there or something.Copy !req
1426. I'm not going up there.Copy !req
1427. He told me stay in the car,Copy !req
1428. I'm not going up there Nell, no.Copy !req
1429. Hold him!Copy !req
1430. Jimmy.Copy !req
1431. What?Copy !req
1432. Can you take me
home for a minute?Copy !req
1433. Hell no!Copy !req
1434. Jimmy, look, I
gotta get my money,Copy !req
1435. I gotta get my
makeup, my underwear,Copy !req
1436. I need my things!Copy !req
1437. No, no!Copy !req
1438. I'm not going nowhere,
I'm sitting rightCopy !req
1439. here 'till Petey come.Copy !req
1440. Oh Jimmy, it's just rightCopy !req
1441. up the street, we'll
make it back in time.Copy !req
1442. - Aw shit, Ted!
- Please Jimmy, please!Copy !req
1443. Okay.Copy !req
1444. Petey!Copy !req
1445. Petey!Copy !req
1446. Petey, it's me, wait!Copy !req
1447. Wait, Petey, we're friends.Copy !req
1448. I trusted you, Petey.Copy !req
1449. You must trust me!Copy !req
1450. You can't trust the Devil!Copy !req
1451. Any fool knows that!Copy !req
1452. Daniel Webster tricked youCopy !req
1453. and you still brought
your little ass back.Copy !req
1454. This time it's over!Copy !req
1455. No more heartache and pain.Copy !req
1456. I'm gonna destroy your ass!Copy !req
1457. With your own walking cane.Copy !req
1458. No, Petey!Copy !req
1459. No, Petey, no, no!Copy !req
1460. No!Copy !req
1461. No!Copy !req
1462. No!Copy !req
1463. No!Copy !req
1464. There he is,
there he is, there's Petey!Copy !req
1465. Yeah I knew it, I told youCopy !req
1466. we shouldn't have left
in the first place.Copy !req
1467. Where's he going?Copy !req
1468. It's over, it's over!Copy !req
1469. - He mistook that as my car!
- Oh Jimmy, that's him!Copy !req
1470. Who?Copy !req
1471. I killed the Devil, he's dead!Copy !req
1472. That's the spirit, my son!Copy !req
1473. No, Petey, no!Copy !req
1474. This door's
locked, I can't get—Copy !req
1475. - It won't open!
- Petey!Copy !req
1476. How you been, Petey?Copy !req
1477. Didn't think you'd ever
see us again, huh Petey?Copy !req
1478. Now you may kiss the bride!Copy !req