1. - Yes!Copy !req
2. I'm Petey Wheatstraw,
the Devil's son-in-law!Copy !req
3. The high sheriff of Hell.Copy !req
4. I went with Notorius Fatty,Copy !req
5. and even made love
to old Lula Bell.Copy !req
6. I took today and brought
back yesterday!Copy !req
7. Took the 4th of July
and put it in June!Copy !req
8. And make leap year
jump over the moon.Copy !req
9. I'm not here to brag,
nor here to boast!Copy !req
10. I can sit on a tombstone
and produce baby ghosts.Copy !req
11. Why I can even remember
the day I was born!Copy !req
12. It was the day of that
great Miami, Florida storm!Copy !req
13. Release yourself.Copy !req
14. - He's coming!Copy !req
15. He's coming!
- He's coming!Copy !req
16. - Oh Jesus!Copy !req
17. He's coming.Copy !req
18. - Oh Jesus, my God.Copy !req
19. Doctor, doctor, doctor!Copy !req
20. I'm so glad you got here!Copy !req
21. She's almost ready now!Copy !req
22. Any minute now!Copy !req
23. - Help me Lord!Copy !req
24. - My God, she's gonna
have an elephant?Copy !req
25. - Is you trying to say my
wife screwed an elephant?Copy !req
26. - Just get me some water!Copy !req
27. Lots of hot water!Copy !req
28. - Hurry!Copy !req
29. Hurry!Copy !req
30. - It's gonna be all
right, just hold on.Copy !req
31. Oh my God!Copy !req
32. I've never heard
anything like thisCopy !req
33. in my life before!Copy !req
34. Oh my Lord, oh my God!Copy !req
35. Is he coming, is he
coming, is he coming?Copy !req
36. Is he coming?Copy !req
37. - It's here, it's here.Copy !req
38. Oh doctor, oh doctor help me!Copy !req
39. Help me, Lord have mercy, Jesus!Copy !req
40. - Come on, come on down.Copy !req
41. Come on down, come on down.Copy !req
42. Right there, right
there, help me.Copy !req
43. Okay, okay.Copy !req
44. Ow!Copy !req
45. He bit me!Copy !req
46. He bit me!Copy !req
47. I got him, I got him.Copy !req
48. - You got him, doctor?Copy !req
49. - I got him.Copy !req
50. - Hurry, doctor, hurry!Copy !req
51. - Help me, mama,
you gotta help me!Copy !req
52. Come on, push!Copy !req
53. Bear down, bear down!Copy !req
54. Push, push, come on!Copy !req
55. Yes, yes, yes, he's coming!Copy !req
56. He's coming!Copy !req
57. My God, it's coming,
it's coming, it's coming!Copy !req
58. Bear down, bear down!Copy !req
59. - Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
60. - He's coming, push push!Copy !req
61. Oh, oh he's coming!Copy !req
62. Shees, oh my God!Copy !req
63. Are you sure this
isn't an elephant?Copy !req
64. Oh my God!Copy !req
65. - Ow, that hurts!Copy !req
66. - It's alive!Copy !req
67. It's alive!Copy !req
68. It's alive.Copy !req
69. - Don't no grandy
doctor soppy suckerCopy !req
70. gonna hit on me and
get away with it.Copy !req
71. - Help me, help
me, help me, somebody help!Copy !req
72. Gotta come help me.Copy !req
73. Take him off me.Copy !req
74. Willy!Copy !req
75. Help, help me,Copy !req
76. Take him off me!Copy !req
77. Come on, please!Copy !req
78. - I know you, you the one thatCopy !req
79. disturbed me every
night in my sleep!Copy !req
80. - But I'm your daddy, boy!Copy !req
81. - You stop it!Copy !req
82. Stop it right this minute, boy.Copy !req
83. And you get your little narrow
ass over there and stand.Copy !req
84. - Thank you, doctor.Copy !req
85. How much do we owe you?Copy !req
86. - Nothing, nothing, just let meCopy !req
87. get the hell outta here!Copy !req
88. - Your name will be
Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
89. - Well if it ain't
little Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
90. - You mean Punky Wheatstraw.Copy !req
91. - Do not be alarmed.Copy !req
92. I am a friend.Copy !req
93. It took courage and bravery
to fight them as you did.Copy !req
94. - Imma get them back for thisCopy !req
95. even if it takes my whole life,Copy !req
96. Imma get all of 'em one by one.Copy !req
97. - Would you spend your
whole life seeking revenge?Copy !req
98. - What do you mean?Copy !req
99. Who are you anyway?Copy !req
100. - I am Bantu, and you?Copy !req
101. - Petey, Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
102. - Wisdom is the
way of the world.Copy !req
103. There's much you do
not understand, son.Copy !req
104. I will teach you the
ancient oriental ways.Copy !req
105. - You are ready now.Copy !req
106. I have taught you
all the mysteriesCopy !req
107. of the world and the
art of self defense.Copy !req
108. - I owe you much, Bantu,
I am most grateful,Copy !req
109. but there's only one
thing that bothers me.Copy !req
110. - Yes?Copy !req
111. - Well this is
not what I dreamedCopy !req
112. of doing with my life,
I've always wantedCopy !req
113. to be on stage
making people laugh.Copy !req
114. You know a, a—Copy !req
115. - A comedian?Copy !req
116. - Yeah, so I can
try and save theCopy !req
117. world from some of its miseries.Copy !req
118. Is it possible?Copy !req
119. - Yes it's possible.Copy !req
120. Stand up.Copy !req
121. You will always love and respectCopy !req
122. those who always
love and respect you.Copy !req
123. You will take no
abuse from any manCopy !req
124. living or dead.Copy !req
125. You will use your wisdom as
a weapon against all evil.Copy !req
126. - Thank you.Copy !req
127. My my my my my, what an ass.Copy !req
128. I've always liked
women with big asses.Copy !req
129. - Some asses for need, but
this ass is for please.Copy !req
130. - I see we have another
comedian in the house!Copy !req
131. You still got a
lot of ass, mama.Copy !req
132. I say one thing,
if this place wouldCopy !req
133. catch on fire, they'd tell
everybody to haul ass,Copy !req
134. you would have to make 10 trips.Copy !req
135. - Hey man, you can't talk
to my woman like that.Copy !req
136. - Shut up!Copy !req
137. Shut your ugly, old
time, ancient ass up!Copy !req
138. If you say one more word to me,Copy !req
139. I'll have that lady
take one of herCopy !req
140. titties and beat
the shit out of you.Copy !req
141. And I ain't lying either!Copy !req
142. Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you very much.Copy !req
143. I am what I am and I'm gonna beCopy !req
144. the very best of what I am.Copy !req
145. And for those who don't
like me confidentially,Copy !req
146. I don't give a damn.Copy !req
147. I'd like to thank
you for lettingCopy !req
148. me be myself, thank you!Copy !req
149. - Ladies and gentlemen, Petey!Copy !req
150. Petey, Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
151. - How did we do tonight, Jimmy?Copy !req
152. - Over the boat, Pete,
things looks good, brotherCopy !req
153. We gotta hurry 'cause
we got a plane to catch.Copy !req
154. - Take me with you, Petey.Copy !req
155. - Oh Sheila, we've been throughCopy !req
156. this many times, you
know the score, baby.Copy !req
157. - Sheila, baby, you
know how it is withCopy !req
158. us honey, you've got
to hang on in there.Copy !req
159. - You're gonna see that
Nell bitch, ain't ya?Copy !req
160. - Oh Sheila, listen,
you know the business,Copy !req
161. baby, I'll send
for you next week.Copy !req
162. - And what about Nell?Copy !req
163. - What about Nell, baby, you
know it's only me and you!Copy !req
164. - Sheila, baby,
don't be so uptight,Copy !req
165. I'll see that you get a
plane ticket next week.Copy !req
166. - Hey Petey, beautiful man,Copy !req
167. really good this time, we
got to do it again real soon.Copy !req
168. Y'all take it slow,
Jimmy, it was a pleasure.Copy !req
169. Don't mean to run,
but I got somethingCopy !req
170. planned for me, takin' off.Copy !req
171. - Hang in there, doc.Copy !req
172. Okay y'all, let's
get out of here.Copy !req
173. - I hope this little
business adventureCopy !req
174. turns out the way
it's supposed to.Copy !req
175. 100 grand is a lot of
money and this placeCopy !req
176. doesn't look like it
holds over 200 people.Copy !req
177. - This is not it.Copy !req
178. We got a place over
on the East sideCopy !req
179. that holds over 2,000 people.Copy !req
180. And I guarantee you
this'll be the biggest showCopy !req
181. to hit this city
in quite some time.Copy !req
182. With the kind of cash that youCopy !req
183. just loaned us, we can't miss!Copy !req
184. Right, Skillet?Copy !req
185. - Right!Copy !req
186. We've checked out all
the risks very carefully.Copy !req
187. Mr. White, we're gonna give youCopy !req
188. a 20% return on all your money.Copy !req
189. You won't be sorry.Copy !req
190. No siree.Copy !req
191. - I hope not.Copy !req
192. For that kind of money the
company can get a little ugly.Copy !req
193. But for some reason I
think it's gonna work.Copy !req
194. Soft season, all the good
acts are on the road.Copy !req
195. With that kind of
money you'll beCopy !req
196. able to advertise
and pull 'em in.Copy !req
197. Now are you sure no
one's coming into town?Copy !req
198. - Mr. White, stop worrying.Copy !req
199. We have no competition
for at leastCopy !req
200. three or more months
from now, right Skillet?Copy !req
201. - Happy times are right
around the corner.Copy !req
202. Mr. White, you about to becomeCopy !req
203. the luckiest investor
of the century.Copy !req
204. - Yeah, or lose and become theCopy !req
205. most dangerous man in town.Copy !req
206. Dangerous for you guys that is.Copy !req
207. I'll keep in touch.Copy !req
208. Keep the faith.Copy !req
209. - And
keep the bankroll.Copy !req
210. Skillet, let's get started.Copy !req
211. - Yeah, let's get started.Copy !req
212. - Madam Wright,
come on over here.Copy !req
213. Listen, we need singers.Copy !req
214. We need musicians,
we need dancers.Copy !req
215. Lookie here, the kind of moneyCopy !req
216. we got, we can do some booking.Copy !req
217. - We gonna party now!
- That's right!Copy !req
218. - We living, brother!Copy !req
219. - Living? Living?Copy !req
220. Living between the
sky and the EarthCopy !req
221. and ain't touching dirt nowhere!Copy !req
222. - Nowhere!Copy !req
223. - Yeah, that song so
good, and I'm your daddy,Copy !req
224. The Hit man, on XERA Radio!Copy !req
225. Moving right along, as
we told you earlier,Copy !req
226. it's celebrity time.Copy !req
227. The one and only Mr.
Excitement himself,Copy !req
228. Petey Wheatstraw,
what's happening man?Copy !req
229. I'm glad to be back in town.Copy !req
230. You know I'm opening
at Steve's DenCopy !req
231. with my all girls toy show.Copy !req
232. - Hey I know it's
gonna be a good show.Copy !req
233. Tell us about this 'cause I knowCopy !req
234. it's gonna be a
right all situation.Copy !req
235. - All I can say is to the peopleCopy !req
236. out there in radio
land I want toCopy !req
237. see your face in the placeCopy !req
238. and your feet under the seatCopy !req
239. SO you can put some
Zip in your hipCopy !req
240. and slide in your glide.Copy !req
241. - Big fat girl
strutting in there but oh!Copy !req
242. - Just a minute baby.Copy !req
243. - And that's June
15th at Steve's Den.Copy !req
244. - I'll talk to you later, baby.Copy !req
245. - Be there!Copy !req
246. - Our opening night?Copy !req
247. The 15th?Copy !req
248. Leroy!Copy !req
249. Leroy!Copy !req
250. I gotta talk to you, partner.Copy !req
251. - Man, you made me
blow my damn shot!Copy !req
252. - Wait a minute!Copy !req
253. I just learned on the radio
Petey Wheatstraw is in town.Copy !req
254. - You what?Copy !req
255. - He's gonna open show
there on June the 15th!Copy !req
256. Leroy, we can't stand
up to competition,Copy !req
257. he'll kill us for sure.Copy !req
258. Remember what Mr. White
said about his money.Copy !req
259. If we don't pay him back?Copy !req
260. We dead, partner, what
are we gonna do Leroy?Copy !req
261. What we gonna do?Copy !req
262. - Shut up and let me think!Copy !req
263. - What you got up
your sleeve, partner?Copy !req
264. - Wait, I'll call
Petey on the phone.Copy !req
265. See if I can get
him to postpone.Copy !req
266. - Dig it.Copy !req
267. - And if that don't
work, there's other waysCopy !req
268. to make him give in.Copy !req
269. Get Willy on the phone quick!Copy !req
270. - I'll get him on the phone.Copy !req
271. - Rack man, rack 'em up!Copy !req
272. - Well Steve, you got the jointCopy !req
273. looking good, but
you still ain'tCopy !req
274. done shit with that
small dressing room,Copy !req
275. you know Petey don't like
no small dressing room, man.Copy !req
276. - Damn right, that dressing roomCopy !req
277. ain't big enough to fart in.Copy !req
278. - You didn't come
here to fart or shit,Copy !req
279. you came here to do your thing!Copy !req
280. - But your dressing room stillCopy !req
281. looks like a shit house!Copy !req
282. - I got it looking
like a shit houseCopy !req
283. because of one reason,
Petey, let me tell you.Copy !req
284. The way a person shit tells ifCopy !req
285. they have love or larceny.Copy !req
286. See, people that have
love in their heart,Copy !req
287. they sit down and they shit.Copy !req
288. Reach for the toilet paper,
wipe that shitty ass,Copy !req
289. and then they flush it down.Copy !req
290. People that have
larceny, they sit downCopy !req
291. and they shit,Copy !req
292. wipe that shitty ass, but
because they have larceny,Copy !req
293. before they flush it down,Copy !req
294. they have to turn around
and peep at that shit.Copy !req
295. Anybody don't trust their own
asshole must have larceny.Copy !req
296. - And it still looks like a
shit house, can you dig it?Copy !req
297. - Let me say this, Petey.Copy !req
298. We got the posters ready,Copy !req
299. and man we are ready
to roll this weekend.Copy !req
300. - Steve, you mean to tell meCopy !req
301. you haven't got the posters upCopy !req
302. and we getting ready
to open next week?Copy !req
303. - Well never mind
all that Petey.Copy !req
304. Anyway, I put my boy
right over there.Copy !req
305. - Can I help, Ted?Copy !req
306. - No Larry, you'd
just be in the way.Copy !req
307. - Oh Ted, you haven't seen yourCopy !req
308. brother in four months,Copy !req
309. why don't you let
him come along?Copy !req
310. - Come on, 1.Copy !req
311. - Okay, you can help.Copy !req
312. I'll go and get changed
and we'll get started.Copy !req
313. - Matter of fact I'll kick in aCopy !req
314. few bucks for the little man.Copy !req
315. - What?Copy !req
316. - Steve, you are
volunteering to pay somebody?Copy !req
317. - Don't you be so
cold on my man.Copy !req
318. - Oh baby, don't worry
about it, they only kidding.Copy !req
319. - Petey, why don't
y'all drink up man,Copy !req
320. my lady's fixin' to poo, we
got to get on out of here.Copy !req
321. - Let's drink a toast to
a successful engagement.Copy !req
322. Hey, stop!Copy !req
323. - God damn!Copy !req
324. These dope-headed
junkies make me sick!Copy !req
325. That's why niggers in the
ghetto can't have shit!Copy !req
326. - Hey you, get back!Copy !req
327. Jimmy, you should do
something, help him!Copy !req
328. - I got the money, what the
hell you think I can do,Copy !req
329. I can't take those damn junkies!Copy !req
330. - Shit!Copy !req
331. - Come on, nigger, scram, man!Copy !req
332. Come on!Copy !req
333. Come on, fight it!Copy !req
334. - Y'all got a lot of
nerve messing with my car.Copy !req
335. Penny addict junkies,
that's all you are.Copy !req
336. You'll take from your
mama, you'll even takeCopy !req
337. the limbs off of a tree!Copy !req
338. But I'm gonna kick your
ass for messing with me.Copy !req
339. All right, you clowns,
up on your feet.Copy !req
340. You going back to
my car and puttingCopy !req
341. my shit back just
like you found it!Copy !req
342. All right, let's go!Copy !req
343. All right, move!Copy !req
344. Ladies and gentlemen, I want youCopy !req
345. to remember their facesCopy !req
346. SO you can know who's
breaking into your places!Copy !req
347. If they do it to me,
they'll do it to you!Copy !req
348. So I want you to stick your footCopy !req
349. up their ass the
next time they do!Copy !req
350. - But Leroy, what we gonna do?Copy !req
351. If he's gonna put on a show—Copy !req
352. - Shut up!Copy !req
353. I'm trying to think!Copy !req
354. Willie!
- Yeah, boss?Copy !req
355. - I want you to keep an eye onCopy !req
356. Petey and his boys.
- Right.Copy !req
357. - I wanna know every move theyCopy !req
358. make day and night.Copy !req
359. Take some of the boysCopy !req
360. and call me every
hour on the hour.Copy !req
361. - Right.Copy !req
362. Castro, Brian, let's go.Copy !req
363. - But Leroy!Copy !req
364. If he's gonna put on a show—Copy !req
365. - You said that already!Copy !req
366. He's probably staying
at Nell's place.Copy !req
367. We'll call him.Copy !req
368. Maybe we can get him
to change his mind.Copy !req
369. - Change his mind?Copy !req
370. After what we did to Petey?Copy !req
371. He'll come through that
phone and strangle us.Copy !req
372. - Petey knows the score now.Copy !req
373. He's on our terrain now.Copy !req
374. All we gotta do is put a littleCopy !req
375. pressure on him, he'll yield.Copy !req
376. - Leroy, I don't think—Copy !req
377. - Don't think!Copy !req
378. Just get Nell on the phone.Copy !req
379. I wanna talk to Petey.Copy !req
380. - Look, what is it
with you, Petey?Copy !req
381. Don't I even turn
you on a little?Copy !req
382. - Nell, you know I don't like toCopy !req
383. mix business with pleasure.Copy !req
384. - It's always business with you.Copy !req
385. You know how I feel about you.Copy !req
386. - Nell, I didn't mean
to hurt you, baby.Copy !req
387. Come over here.Copy !req
388. Let's give it a whirl.Copy !req
389. May not even be as
bad as I think it is.Copy !req
390. - Shit.Copy !req
391. Hello?Copy !req
392. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
393. It's for you, now don't be long.Copy !req
394. - Baby, this is
gonna be the shortestCopy !req
395. phone call in Bell
Telephone's history.Copy !req
396. Can you dig it?Copy !req
397. - Mmmhm.Copy !req
398. - Petey, how you doing, brother?Copy !req
399. - Don't brother
me, you no businessCopy !req
400. barn rat soup eat in"
son of a bitch!Copy !req
401. I want you and that
fat slob partnerCopy !req
402. of yours to pay me the
money ya'll owe me!Copy !req
403. - That's exactly
what I was calling you for.Copy !req
404. I want to pay you back,
but on one condition.Copy !req
405. - Condition my ass!Copy !req
406. It's y'all that owe me!Copy !req
407. I will condition you,
I'll put my foot up youCopy !req
408. and that big bear's ass both!Copy !req
409. - Look Petey, Skillet and I areCopy !req
410. in a bad position.Copy !req
411. You see, we want you to postponeCopy !req
412. your engagement
for a few months.Copy !req
413. We borrowed a big piece of moneyCopy !req
414. and we can't afford
your competition.Copy !req
415. - You have the nerve to call meCopy !req
416. and ask me to cancel
my engagement!Copy !req
417. I wouldn't stop my show if youCopy !req
418. needed ice water in hell!Copy !req
419. - So that's the way you
wanna play, huh nigga?Copy !req
420. Well you know two of us
can play that, you hear?Copy !req
421. - Why you.Copy !req
422. - What was that all about?Copy !req
423. - Nell, listen, I
want you to callCopy !req
424. Jimmy and the boys
because the shitCopy !req
425. look like it's done hit the fan.Copy !req
426. - What about
our little party?Copy !req
427. - It'll have to wait.Copy !req
428. This is money.Copy !req
429. Business, baby.Copy !req
430. As you know, romance without
finance is a damn nuisance.Copy !req
431. - Yeah?Copy !req
432. - I'm still following
this Jackson dude, boss.Copy !req
433. He's hanging posters
all over the place.Copy !req
434. - Well rough him up a bit.Copy !req
435. Petey won't bend,
so we'll bend him.Copy !req
436. - I'm on it on.Copy !req
437. - Shut up!Copy !req
438. - Mmm mmm, this is
sho' 'nuff good!Copy !req
439. - Mmmhmm!Copy !req
440. Ted, the next time you leaveCopy !req
441. are you gonna be gone long?Copy !req
442. - I don't know, why?Copy !req
443. - 'Cause
when you're goneCopy !req
444. I don't have no one to talk to.Copy !req
445. - You talk to mama, don't you?Copy !req
446. - Yeah, but she's
always working.Copy !req
447. She be too tired.Copy !req
448. - Well what do you
do in the meantime?Copy !req
449. - Swish!Copy !req
450. Play basketball 'cause I'm
gonna be a basketball star.Copy !req
451. - And skip school.Copy !req
452. Yeah, mama told me
what you been doing.Copy !req
453. Look, if you wanna
be a basketball star,Copy !req
454. you're gonna have to
stop skipping school.Copy !req
455. You think Jabbar skipped school?Copy !req
456. No he didn't and
neither can you.Copy !req
457. Now I want you to
raise your right handCopy !req
458. and swear that you
won't skip again.Copy !req
459. Come on.Copy !req
460. Come on!Copy !req
461. - I swear I won't
skip no more school.Copy !req
462. If Jabbar didn't
then I won't neither.Copy !req
463. - My man!Copy !req
464. Now I want you to go
inside and tell mamaCopy !req
465. I'll be a little late and
not to wait up for me.Copy !req
466. - Okay.Copy !req
467. Swish.Copy !req
468. - Two points.Copy !req
469. - You've been pretty
busy today, pal.Copy !req
470. Too bad you won't be able
to work like that tomorrow.Copy !req
471. "Cause your arm's
gonna be broke.Copy !req
472. - What are you
talking about, mister?Copy !req
473. Larry, go inside.Copy !req
474. - No, I'm staying with you.Copy !req
475. - I said go inside!Copy !req
476. - Ted, he's got a gun!Copy !req
477. - Larry, Larry!Copy !req
478. Larry!Copy !req
479. Larry!Copy !req
480. Oh my God, he shot my brother!Copy !req
481. - I can't see you, Ted.Copy !req
482. I feel, I—Copy !req
483. - Don't talk, Larry.Copy !req
484. It's gonna be all right.Copy !req
485. - I saw the whole thing,Copy !req
486. I got the license
plates and everything.Copy !req
487. I called the police
and the ambulanceCopy !req
488. and they're on their way now.Copy !req
489. - I won't skipCopy !req
490. no more school.Copy !req
491. I promise not.Copy !req
492. - Oh no!Copy !req
493. - No!Copy !req
494. - Larry!Copy !req
495. - No!Copy !req
496. - Larry.Copy !req
497. My brother!Copy !req
498. Larry!Copy !req
499. - Oh God, Larry!Copy !req
500. - The Lord giveth.Copy !req
501. And the Lord taketh away.Copy !req
502. Blessed be the name of the Lord.Copy !req
503. The Lord is my Sheperd,
I shall not want.Copy !req
504. He makes me to lie
down in green pastures.Copy !req
505. s And lead me homeCopy !req
506. - Don't panic!Copy !req
507. - Petey?Copy !req
508. Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
509. Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
510. - Who are you, man?Copy !req
511. - My card.Copy !req
512. - Lou Cipher?Copy !req
513. - A small mistake on
the part of the printer.Copy !req
514. Actually it's
pronounced Lucifer.Copy !req
515. - Are you responsible
for all this madness?Copy !req
516. - In most cases I am, but
in this particular instanceCopy !req
517. I happened to walk
upon this disaster.Copy !req
518. You may stand up.Copy !req
519. - Where am I?Copy !req
520. Where am I?Copy !req
521. Where am I at?Copy !req
522. - Your new home, Petey, if
everything works out well.Copy !req
523. Well if you're wondering,
Petey, you're quite dead.Copy !req
524. - And what about all
of these other people?Copy !req
525. Are they?Copy !req
526. - The ones that
have been shot, yes.Copy !req
527. The others are, you
might say, out to lunch.Copy !req
528. - But what do you
want from me, man?Copy !req
529. - My my, you're quite direct.Copy !req
530. I like that.Copy !req
531. She will like that too.Copy !req
532. - She who?Copy !req
533. - We'll talk about that later.Copy !req
534. Your problem seems
to be right now.Copy !req
535. I have a proposition
to offer you,Copy !req
536. Petey, are you
willing to listen?Copy !req
537. - Your propositions you
always wind up on top.Copy !req
538. Just like the shit that
you done to Adam and Eve.Copy !req
539. - Oh Petey, I was young then.Copy !req
540. My salad days.Copy !req
541. My style today is much
more sophisticated.Copy !req
542. - Well what do you
want from me now?Copy !req
543. - A son.Copy !req
544. - A son?Copy !req
545. You got to be sick!Copy !req
546. How in the hell can
I give you a son?Copy !req
547. - By simply marrying
my daughter.Copy !req
548. - What's in the
deal for me, man?Copy !req
549. - Gaze upon the root of all thisCopy !req
550. madness as you put it.Copy !req
551. - Well?Copy !req
552. - You don't have to worry
about Petey no more, boss.Copy !req
553. He's resting in peace.Copy !req
554. - Good.Copy !req
555. Now that he's resting in peace,
we can rest in peace too.Copy !req
556. Lively times!Copy !req
557. - Happy times!Copy !req
558. - Happy times, yeah.Copy !req
559. - Leroy and Skillet.Copy !req
560. I knew it was them two big
fat slobby son of a bitches!Copy !req
561. - Yes, they felt threatened
by your upcoming show in town.Copy !req
562. - Well why Kill a little
boy like that in cold blood?Copy !req
563. - If you would just calm
down a moment and listen,Copy !req
564. perhaps we can work things out.Copy !req
565. - I'm listening.Copy !req
566. - Marry my daughter
and give her a child.Copy !req
567. And I will arrange it for
you to have your life back.Copy !req
568. To strut and fret your
hour upon the stage again.Copy !req
569. Revenge will be yours,
Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
570. - No, this is madness
man, you got to be sick.Copy !req
571. - Well Petey, prepare to die.Copy !req
572. - Let your
wisdom be your weapon.Copy !req
573. Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom.Copy !req
574. - All right.Copy !req
575. I'll marry your daughterCopy !req
576. and give her this son
that you need so badly.Copy !req
577. By the way, what does
your daughter look like?Copy !req
578. - Gee, I hope beauty has nothing
to do with our proposition.Copy !req
579. - Oh hell no, man, uh uh.Copy !req
580. No no no, I won't marry
her, deal or no deal.Copy !req
581. Kill me, man, kill me, uh umm.Copy !req
582. - Yes, my daughter's
quite unfortunate.Copy !req
583. Very well, Petey.Copy !req
584. - Wisdom, wisdom.Copy !req
585. - All right, I'll marry her.Copy !req
586. - You'll be hearing from
me from time to time.Copy !req
587. It will be as though none
of this ever happened.Copy !req
588. - And the
Lord taketh away.Copy !req
589. Blessed be the name of the Lord.Copy !req
590. The Lord is my Sheperd.Copy !req
591. I shall not want.Copy !req
592. Oh Lord, my baby.Copy !req
593. - Petey, how could
that be, I know—Copy !req
594. - Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
don't worry about it,Copy !req
595. I'll explain it to you later.Copy !req
596. Thank you, dear.Copy !req
597. - That's the way it was.Copy !req
598. I'm not lying.Copy !req
599. That's some crazy
shit, isn't it?Copy !req
600. - Crazy, yeah, but man you
making a deal with the Devil.Copy !req
601. You know how things
like that turn out.Copy !req
602. And anyway, I think
I'd rather be deadCopy !req
603. than marry someone ugly as that!Copy !req
604. - The main thing
man, I'm still alive.Copy !req
605. Now listen, I can
figure out a wayCopy !req
606. to keep from marrying
the Devil's daughter,Copy !req
607. but the main thing we've got toCopy !req
608. deal with Leroy and
Skillet right now.Copy !req
609. - But Petey, I'm scared.Copy !req
610. Now you know how
powerful the Devil is,Copy !req
611. and if you cross him,
he's gonna be mad as hell.Copy !req
612. I mean heaven.Copy !req
613. Oh shit.Copy !req
614. - Oh Nell, you always
worry, now you knowCopy !req
615. I can take care of things.Copy !req
616. Ted!Copy !req
617. Ted!Copy !req
618. Are you all right?Copy !req
619. - Man, I ain't gonna restCopy !req
620. until I settle with
Scarf ace Willie.Copy !req
621. - Right this way, ladies.Copy !req
622. - It's that little punk again.Copy !req
623. - Come on, chump!Copy !req
624. Come on!Copy !req
625. - We'll fix his ass
for keeps it this time.Copy !req
626. Come on!Copy !req
627. - Hey man, come on, come on!Copy !req
628. - Thought you
would've done learnedCopy !req
629. your lesson by now,
little brother.Copy !req
630. Guess you one of them
hard-headed niggers.Copy !req
631. Hold it, Bruce Lee!Copy !req
632. See now you too
dangerous to have around.Copy !req
633. I'm gonna arrange it so
you can be with PeteyCopy !req
634. and your kid brother
for all time!Copy !req
635. Start praying, pal!Copy !req
636. - What's the matter, Willie,
the cat got your tongue?Copy !req
637. I oughta make you eat this gun!Copy !req
638. - But I thought—Copy !req
639. - Yes, tell your
boss I'm still aliveCopy !req
640. and I'm mad as a hornet
in a bumblebee hive!Copy !req
641. I want you to tell
your boss thatCopy !req
642. his days is numbered
and his luck is bad!Copy !req
643. So son of a bitch,Copy !req
644. Now get your ugly ass on!Copy !req
645. Get!Copy !req
646. Move!Copy !req
647. - Why didn't you
let me finish him?Copy !req
648. - Oh Ted, there will be
revenge on all of them for you,Copy !req
649. don't worry about it.Copy !req
650. Let's make it.Copy !req
651. - Willie, you sure it was him?Copy !req
652. You're sure you got him?Copy !req
653. Well how in the hell
can he still be alive?Copy !req
654. - Maybe he missed him.Copy !req
655. - I know he was dead.Copy !req
656. Nobody could've stood the leadCopy !req
657. we pumped into him, nobody!Copy !req
658. I swear, Leroy!Copy !req
659. - I saw him get hit too, boss.Copy !req
660. He must've took about
four or five slugs.Copy !req
661. - Well how in the hell can heCopy !req
662. still be out there
walking around?Copy !req
663. Somebody tell me!Copy !req
664. - What we gonna do, Leroy?Copy !req
665. - Shut up and let me think!Copy !req
666. I gotta think.Copy !req
667. Phew, this is killing me!Copy !req
668. - Let him think,
everybody, let him think.Copy !req
669. - What happened to him?Copy !req
670. - I think Willie's smell
was too much for him.Copy !req
671. - I think I'm
gonna pass out too.Copy !req
672. - Willie, you get your
stinkin' ass out of here!Copy !req
673. Get out of here and go clean up!Copy !req
674. And get back here on the double!Copy !req
675. - Somebody open a window
or something, damn.Copy !req
676. - I've got it!Copy !req
677. - Well come on with it.Copy !req
678. - He lives in Nell's place.Copy !req
679. - Right.Copy !req
680. - We never did finish our
little party the other night,Copy !req
681. and now we're all aloneCopy !req
682. and there's no one
here to bother us,Copy !req
683. so I'll just take the
phone off the hook.Copy !req
684. Well I'll be damned.Copy !req
685. Hello?Copy !req
686. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
687. It's for you, now don't be long.Copy !req
688. - Yes Petey, there's two thingsCopy !req
689. I neglected to tell you.Copy !req
690. One, you will have powers
beyond your wildest dreams.Copy !req
691. All you have to do is
use my magical cane.Copy !req
692. It contains all of my secrets.Copy !req
693. Two, you must be careful
where and how you use it.Copy !req
694. It will serve every
purpose you will ever need.Copy !req
695. All you have to do is
wield the cane, Petey,Copy !req
696. and my power is yours.Copy !req
697. - Well thanks for calling, Lou.Copy !req
698. - Well who's Lou?Copy !req
699. - Don't worry about it, baby,Copy !req
700. let me introduce you
to a friend of mine.Copy !req
701. - Oh at last, I'm
gonna put somethingCopy !req
702. on you you won't forget.Copy !req
703. - Stop it!Copy !req
704. You guys are
tearing up my place!Copy !req
705. Police!Copy !req
706. Get away from me!Copy !req
707. Petey!Copy !req
708. Petey!Copy !req
709. Oh my vase, hey I'm not
through paying for this!Copy !req
710. Petey!Copy !req
711. Be careful!Copy !req
712. Petey, watch out!Copy !req
713. - Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
714. Get up, come on.Copy !req
715. - Hello?Copy !req
716. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
717. It's for you.Copy !req
718. - Yes.Copy !req
719. - Petey, I suggest you
pick up that cane tonight.Copy !req
720. At the rate your friends
Skillet and Leroy are going,Copy !req
721. they might surprise
you at any moment.Copy !req
722. And you do want to protect
yourself the next time.Copy !req
723. - Thanks again.Copy !req
724. - Hello?Copy !req
725. Petey?Copy !req
726. What?Copy !req
727. Graveyard?Copy !req
728. Man, at a time like this?Copy !req
729. Aw shit.Copy !req
730. Petey!Copy !req
731. Petey!Copy !req
732. - Sure had a
wonderful time tonight!Copy !req
733. Oh shit, really blew my lid.Copy !req
734. Everybody tell me I did.Copy !req
735. Oh boy did I party up in
this tonight.Copy !req
736. Still takes me so
damn long to get home,Copy !req
737. gee, Maple's gonna be
wondering about me.Copy !req
738. My house look like it done gotCopy !req
739. a little bit small too.Copy !req
740. Maple!Copy !req
741. Open the door, baby,
your baby home!Copy !req
742. Open the door, woman!Copy !req
743. Your out here,Copy !req
744. I know you're in
there, baby, let me in!Copy !req
745. That woman don't
wanna let me in.Copy !req
746. It's, woman let me in!Copy !req
747. You won't come open,
well I'll just go all,Copy !req
748. I ain't gonna tell you whereCopy !req
749. I'm going, somewhere else.Copy !req
750. That's what I'm gonna do.Copy !req
751. - Petey, what are we looking
for in this graveyard?Copy !req
752. - Just a little further.Copy !req
753. - Petey!Copy !req
754. Listen, listen!Copy !req
755. - I don't hear nothing, man.Copy !req
756. - Well I hear something, listen.Copy !req
757. - Come on, man, I
don't hear nothing.Copy !req
758. - That's it Pete!Copy !req
759. - Come over here, man.Copy !req
760. Come over here, you
scared fool you!Copy !req
761. - Cold down hereCopy !req
762. Cold down here.Copy !req
763. - Well no
wonder you cold,Copy !req
764. you damn fool, you done kickedCopy !req
765. all the dirt off of you!Copy !req
766. - Help me!Copy !req
767. - Come on, let's do
what we come here forCopy !req
768. and let's get out of here.Copy !req
769. - Oh shit man,
why you so scared?Copy !req
770. - Hell, this is a graveyard!Copy !req
771. - Let's put some
dirt on him, Jimmy.Copy !req
772. - Man, I ain't gonna
put nothing on him.Copy !req
773. Come on, let's get what
you got and get outta here!Copy !req
774. Come on, man!Copy !req
775. - Come on man, don't
be so scared, come on!Copy !req
776. Just a little further.Copy !req
777. Ah, there it is.Copy !req
778. The tire.Copy !req
779. - Man, shit, you come
out here to get a tire,Copy !req
780. now you could've gotten
a tire in the morning!Copy !req
781. - Now we can leave.Copy !req
782. I've gots what I come here for.Copy !req
783. - What's that for?Copy !req
784. - Come on, come on, come on,
let's leave, let's leave.Copy !req
785. Come on man, come on!Copy !req
786. Come back here, Jimmy!Copy !req
787. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
788. - Put those
corks in the cooler!Copy !req
789. How many times do I
have to tell you that?Copy !req
790. What is that plant
doing over there?Copy !req
791. Put it on the other
side of the building!Copy !req
792. - Right.Copy !req
793. - Then get up on that ladder andCopy !req
794. fix that better than that.Copy !req
795. Get that shit down from
there, and what are you doing?Copy !req
796. Move that out from over there!Copy !req
797. Let's get moving!Copy !req
798. - Hey boss!Copy !req
799. - Hello!Copy !req
800. Mr. White!Copy !req
801. Mr. White, if this
ain't the bestCopy !req
802. investment that you
ever made in your life,Copy !req
803. I'll stand on my head, it's big!Copy !req
804. - It's colossal.Copy !req
805. - It's not even open yet.Copy !req
806. Don't try and sell
me, sell tickets.Copy !req
807. - Oh they
selling by the hundredsCopy !req
808. Mr. White, by the hundreds.Copy !req
809. - Good.Copy !req
810. Now what about this
Wheatstraw character?Copy !req
811. I understand he's
opening a show nearby.Copy !req
812. Now I hope he's no
competition to you guys.Copy !req
813. - No siree, Mr. White.Copy !req
814. We already killed—Copy !req
815. - Uh, what my partner's
trying to say,Copy !req
816. we've killed the idea
of Mr. WheatstrawCopy !req
817. opening a show here.Copy !req
818. See, he's a friend of ours.Copy !req
819. - Okay fine.Copy !req
820. Hold five tickets for me
and my friends, front row.Copy !req
821. - We'll announce
you too, Mr. White.Copy !req
822. Nothing's too good for
you and your friends,Copy !req
823. nothing's too good.Copy !req
824. - Maybe this is a
good deal after all.Copy !req
825. The wife will love it.Copy !req
826. She goes for stuff like this.Copy !req
827. Well I'll see you guys
tomorrow night at the opening.Copy !req
828. Oh, and break your legs.Copy !req
829. - He likes to make jokes.Copy !req
830. Oh Leroy.Copy !req
831. If Petey opens
the show, we dead,Copy !req
832. partner, we dead, you know that.Copy !req
833. - If I had good
people around working,Copy !req
834. Petey would've been out
the way a long time ago.Copy !req
835. - Boss, I'm telling
you, he's gotCopy !req
836. some kind of power or something.Copy !req
837. I mean—Copy !req
838. - Boss, you know I don't
believe in that kindCopy !req
839. of shit either, but
it's true, it's weird.Copy !req
840. - Don't give me that
supernatural shit!Copy !req
841. You just didn't do your job!Copy !req
842. - No!Copy !req
843. - Willie, I'm giving
you one more chance.Copy !req
844. If you blow this one,
I'll knock your assCopy !req
845. in the middle of next week andCopy !req
846. be ready for you again Saturday.Copy !req
847. You understand?Copy !req
848. - Boss, I—Copy !req
849. - Don't but boss me, I
want his show stopped!Copy !req
850. - Oughta ask the book, you
just didn't do your job, boy!Copy !req
851. - We've gone too
far to turn around!Copy !req
852. - Leroy and Skillet
has gone too far.Copy !req
853. They want their
cake and eat it too.Copy !req
854. You know, thicker.Copy !req
855. - Well you know how
greedy they are.Copy !req
856. Plus they've always
been jealous of you,Copy !req
857. haven't they, Jimmy?Copy !req
858. - You know how it is,
hun, I ain't got timeCopy !req
859. to even think about
Skillet and Leroy.Copy !req
860. - I'm sorry I was late,
I just got off workCopy !req
861. and my piano player
couldn't make it,Copy !req
862. but I can sing acapella.Copy !req
863. - Damn, who in the
hell is that bitch?Copy !req
864. - She must be singing for Jimmy.Copy !req
865. - Singing for who?
- For you.Copy !req
866. - I ain't never see
that woman before.Copy !req
867. - Well she can't be
singing for Petey.Copy !req
868. - What's going on?Copy !req
869. What the shit is going on?Copy !req
870. - Better not.Copy !req
871. - Petey, let go of the thing.Copy !req
872. - Who in there?Copy !req
873. - Petey, I told you that cane.Copy !req
874. - It's leading
me to the bathroom!Copy !req
875. Jimmy!Copy !req
876. Jimmy!Copy !req
877. A bomb!Copy !req
878. A bomb!Copy !req
879. - Take it outside,
take it outside.Copy !req
880. - Take it outside,
take it outside!Copy !req
881. - Hey, where's everybody going?Copy !req
882. Do I get the job?Copy !req
883. I got another number.Copy !req
884. - Get out of there, it's a bomb!Copy !req
885. Petey!Copy !req
886. Petey, are you all right?Copy !req
887. - Well damn, Petey,
look at that shit,Copy !req
888. them suckers are trying
to play for keeps!Copy !req
889. - Man, they tried to
blow up my damn joint!Copy !req
890. - Please give into 'em Petey,Copy !req
891. somebody is gonna get hurt.Copy !req
892. - We got to get
this shit straight!Copy !req
893. - Nell, go and get tickets
to Leroy and Skillet.Copy !req
894. - You damn right 'cause
I think we need to go.Copy !req
895. - What, Petey, are you crazy?Copy !req
896. Don't you know what
they'll do to you?Copy !req
897. - I'm gonna give them an openingCopy !req
898. that they will never forget!Copy !req
899. - Damn right!Copy !req
900. - Mister White!Copy !req
901. - Good evening, boys.Copy !req
902. - Good
evening, Mr. White.Copy !req
903. - How you doing, sir?Copy !req
904. - Oh, this is my wife Joanne.Copy !req
905. And her sister Babs.Copy !req
906. - Good evening.Copy !req
907. - My my, she's more lovelier
than you ever described.Copy !req
908. - Right this way, folks.Copy !req
909. I got a front way table for ya.Copy !req
910. Right this way.Copy !req
911. - Hey man, don't I know
you from somewhere?Copy !req
912. - Hell no, man,
you don't know me.Copy !req
913. Jimmy, I'm so sick
and tired of theseCopy !req
914. Americans talking
about they know me,Copy !req
915. let's get the girls
and leave here.Copy !req
916. - No man, do not
be like that, man.Copy !req
917. We come to see a
show, why don't weCopy !req
918. go in and enjoy ourselves,
do not worry about it.Copy !req
919. - Very well, step aside, you
fat-faced son of a bitch.Copy !req
920. - Have a good evening, man.Copy !req
921. - Thank you.Copy !req
922. Thank you.Copy !req
923. You've been listening
to the soul soundsCopy !req
924. of Clive Maron and Her,
it is showtime now.Copy !req
925. So let's welcome to the floorCopy !req
926. two of the funniest
men in show business.Copy !req
927. None other than
Leroy and Skillet!Copy !req
928. - Ladies and gentlemen,
let me introduce to youCopy !req
929. the ones that made it
possible for me and SkilletCopy !req
930. to bring this big
show to you tonight.Copy !req
931. Seated right here in front of meCopy !req
932. IS none other than
Mr. And Mrs. WhiteCopy !req
933. and their beautiful guest,Copy !req
934. give 'em a great
round of applause!Copy !req
935. - Leroy!Copy !req
936. - Hey Skillet, what's going on?Copy !req
937. - I heard you were
smart, partner.Copy !req
938. - I am smart, Skillet.Copy !req
939. - You smart?Copy !req
940. - I'm smart, Skillet.Copy !req
941. - If you're so smart,
answer me this.Copy !req
942. - Answer you what?Copy !req
943. - If you have $23.18
in one pocket.Copy !req
944. - $23.18 in one pocket.Copy !req
945. - And $13.42 in
the other pocket.Copy !req
946. - $13.42 cents in
the other pocket.Copy !req
947. - What would you have?Copy !req
948. - I'd have on
somebody else's pants,Copy !req
949. they sure wouldn't be mine.Copy !req
950. - Do it now, Petey, do it now.Copy !req
951. - Uncross your legs
whitey, you gonna chokeCopy !req
952. your fool self to death.Copy !req
953. - Leroy!Copy !req
954. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
955. - I don't know, Skillet.Copy !req
956. I opened my mouth
and it just came out.Copy !req
957. - Sorry folks, I hope
you didn't get offended.Copy !req
958. My partner gets carried
away a little bit at a time.Copy !req
959. - Speaking of carrying away,Copy !req
960. they should carry
this bitch awayCopy !req
961. sitting on that
blue satin bed sheet.Copy !req
962. What's the matter, mama,Copy !req
963. you think a nigger don't know
a bed sheet when he see one?Copy !req
964. - Leroy!Copy !req
965. You gonna get us killed, man!Copy !req
966. - I really don't know
what's happening.Copy !req
967. - It's working,
Petey, it's working.Copy !req
968. - Sorry, folks.Copy !req
969. I hope we didn't put too muchCopy !req
970. water in your damn drinks.Copy !req
971. You assholes!Copy !req
972. Oh what am I saying?Copy !req
973. - Moving right along, folks.Copy !req
974. We'd like to bring
our next act to you.Copy !req
975. So let's meet and
greet Miss Tami Small.Copy !req
976. Come on, Skillet,
let's get outta here!Copy !req
977. - Petey, how did you
make that cane do that?Copy !req
978. - Tami, what the hell
happened to you up there?Copy !req
979. What happened?Copy !req
980. - Now I will fix
both of 'em for good!Copy !req
981. - What the hell's
going on out there?Copy !req
982. - I don't know.Copy !req
983. Sound like they're
tearing the place apart.Copy !req
984. - What's goin' on in there?Copy !req
985. Where's the key?Copy !req
986. Where is it?Copy !req
987. I don't know, I
can't find the key!Copy !req
988. - What's the matter, chump?Copy !req
989. Can't find your key?Copy !req
990. - You got it all wrong!Copy !req
991. No, no!Copy !req
992. - I'm gonna take you
apart piece by piece!Copy !req
993. Then I'm gonna kill you!Copy !req
994. Like you killed my brother!Copy !req
995. What's the matter, Willie?Copy !req
996. - Leroy!Copy !req
997. - What is it, Skillet?Copy !req
998. - You should've
remembered what I told ya!Copy !req
999. - What was that, Skillet?Copy !req
1000. - Money's the root of all evil!Copy !req
1001. - Well Skillet, it
look like they'veCopy !req
1002. been our root.Copy !req
1003. - Wait a minute!Copy !req
1004. Wait a minute,Copy !req
1005. - That'll take care of them twoCopy !req
1006. big fat slobby son of a bitches.Copy !req
1007. - Right on, Petey, let's go.Copy !req
1008. - Oh Jimmy, where's Ted?Copy !req
1009. - Don't you die on me, man!Copy !req
1010. Don't you cheat me!Copy !req
1011. You don't
cheat me out of this!Copy !req
1012. Don't cheat me!Copy !req
1013. Don't cheat me!Copy !req
1014. - Ted!Copy !req
1015. It's over, it's over man.Copy !req
1016. Come on, come on, let's go.Copy !req
1017. It's over.Copy !req
1018. - Come on, Ted.Copy !req
1019. It's over.Copy !req
1020. - Well pet, what do you think?Copy !req
1021. Is he?Copy !req
1022. - Oh he's divinely sexy!Copy !req
1023. - And he's all yours, my pet.Copy !req
1024. Now we can make preparations
for your wedding.Copy !req
1025. - Oh Father, my joy is
as boundless as the sea.Copy !req
1026. And just as deep.Copy !req
1027. The both are infinite.Copy !req
1028. - Big Daddy, wait a
minute now, I have laboredCopy !req
1029. all day long cooking this
dinner over this stoveCopy !req
1030. and I had the kids waiting.Copy !req
1031. You mean you gonna walk
off and leave like that?Copy !req
1032. - I wanted to honey, but I gottaCopy !req
1033. make this meeting,
see you later.Copy !req
1034. - Hey baby, what's happening?Copy !req
1035. - Oh hi, hun.Copy !req
1036. - How you doing?Copy !req
1037. - I see what's happening,
I knew I'd catch youCopy !req
1038. over here with this
young woman in this car!Copy !req
1039. - Baby, please, wait a minute—Copy !req
1040. - Hell no, you couldn't
pay to wait a minute.Copy !req
1041. You ain't nothing
but a damn fool!Copy !req
1042. Out here fooling around
with these young women!Copy !req
1043. I knew I'd get you someday
and you're trapped!Copy !req
1044. - Let me explain
it to you, okay?Copy !req
1045. Baby please!Copy !req
1046. - Shut up talking to me!Copy !req
1047. - Come on, you don't
understand, let me—Copy !req
1048. - This is your last meeting!Copy !req
1049. - Wait!Copy !req
1050. - Don't kill him, ma'am!Copy !req
1051. I have one wish I will
grant you, what might it be?Copy !req
1052. - He's a dog, he's a damn dog.Copy !req
1053. Just turn him into a
little black puppy.Copy !req
1054. - That wish will be granted.Copy !req
1055. - How did you do that?Copy !req
1056. - I got the power,
mama, that's how.Copy !req
1057. I got the power.Copy !req
1058. - Thank you, mister.Copy !req
1059. Come on, sugar, mama gonna takeCopy !req
1060. you home and give
you some dinner.Copy !req
1061. Some dog food!Copy !req
1062. - Good morning miss,
can you tell meCopy !req
1063. where to find Mr. Wheatstraw,
Mr. Petey Wheatstraw?Copy !req
1064. - Here's not here right now,Copy !req
1065. but I'm his personal
secretary, can I help you?Copy !req
1066. - Not really.Copy !req
1067. I much prefer to
speak to him myself.Copy !req
1068. Do you have any idea
when he will be back?Copy !req
1069. - Later on this afternoon.Copy !req
1070. Are you sure I can't help you?Copy !req
1071. - Quite sure, young lady.Copy !req
1072. Quite sure.Copy !req
1073. You give him this
card and you tell himCopy !req
1074. to contact me right away.Copy !req
1075. - Bye.Copy !req
1076. - Don't ever do it
anymore, did you hear me?Copy !req
1077. You hear me?Copy !req
1078. For that I'm gonna comb
your nappy head for you!Copy !req
1079. - Hey Petey!Copy !req
1080. Look, I'll call you back, okay?Copy !req
1081. - Yes, Nell?Copy !req
1082. - A man came by here
looking for you.Copy !req
1083. - A man?Copy !req
1084. What was his name?Copy !req
1085. - Well he left his card.Copy !req
1086. It was right there, I don't
know what happened to it.Copy !req
1087. - Well what did he look like?Copy !req
1088. - A weirdo.Copy !req
1089. - Shit, that's all
I've been runningCopy !req
1090. into since I've been
In here, is weirdos,Copy !req
1091. one after another.Copy !req
1092. - Well this one
was really strange,Copy !req
1093. he wouldn't tell
me what he wanted.Copy !req
1094. - Nell, I've got to
get my act togetherCopy !req
1095. for the opening, I'm going
upstairs and rehearse.Copy !req
1096. I don't want to see anyone.Copy !req
1097. - Well I'll make sure
you are not disturbed.Copy !req
1098. - Thanks Nell.Copy !req
1099. - You're welcome.Copy !req
1100. - Good afternoon, Petey,
there's no need for that.Copy !req
1101. It's me.Copy !req
1102. Lou.Copy !req
1103. - Oh Lou.Copy !req
1104. How have you been?Copy !req
1105. - I've been fine, Petey.Copy !req
1106. I saw your heroic act today.Copy !req
1107. The little boy.Copy !req
1108. He was mine you know.Copy !req
1109. You shouldn't use
that cane so loosely.Copy !req
1110. - Well it was lying
around doing nothing,Copy !req
1111. so I thought I would
put it to some use.Copy !req
1112. - You haven't forgotten
our deal, have you Petey?Copy !req
1113. I've kept up my end of the
bargain, now it's your turn.Copy !req
1114. - I wouldn't miss
it for the world.Copy !req
1115. I'm looking forward to it.Copy !req
1116. - Good.Copy !req
1117. Then prepare yourself
for the wedding.Copy !req
1118. Tomorrow.Copy !req
1119. - Why so soon?Copy !req
1120. - I came to your aid soon.Copy !req
1121. Don't you think one good
deed deserves another?Copy !req
1122. - Where's this wedding
gonna take place?Copy !req
1123. - Down there of course.Copy !req
1124. Incidentally, you
can give me the cane.Copy !req
1125. - I need this cane
for another day.Copy !req
1126. - Okay, Petey.Copy !req
1127. I suppose it'll be all right.Copy !req
1128. Just as long as
you don't interfereCopy !req
1129. with any of my actions.Copy !req
1130. - Don't have to worry.Copy !req
1131. I won't give you any trouble.Copy !req
1132. - Very good.Copy !req
1133. I'll pick you up tomorrow
night about 11:30.Copy !req
1134. - I'll be waiting, Lou.Copy !req
1135. Or should I say Father?Copy !req
1136. - It doesn't matter!Copy !req
1137. Just marry her so I can rest.Copy !req
1138. Goodbye, Petey.Copy !req
1139. - Goodbye, Father.Copy !req
1140. - Petey, how did that
man get in there?Copy !req
1141. I've been right here all day.Copy !req
1142. - Just call Jimmy and
get him on the phone,Copy !req
1143. I'll explain later.Copy !req
1144. Look like the shit
is gonna hit the fan.Copy !req
1145. - Petey, who was that man?Copy !req
1146. - That's Lucifer,
ol' Satan himself.Copy !req
1147. - I knew it!Copy !req
1148. I could feel something
strange about him.Copy !req
1149. Petey, what are you gonna do?Copy !req
1150. - Nell don't ask so many
questions, do as I say.Copy !req
1151. Call Jimmy right away.Copy !req
1152. - Okay, all right.Copy !req
1153. - Jimmy, I got to find a wayCopy !req
1154. to keep from marrying
this ugly bitch.Copy !req
1155. This ho is so ugly she can scareCopy !req
1156. a hungry bulldog off the
back of a meat truck.Copy !req
1157. - Call Lucifer up and tell himCopy !req
1158. you got the claps and you wannaCopy !req
1159. take a few years to
clear your system up.Copy !req
1160. - Man, that's not
a few year affair,Copy !req
1161. that's only a few day affair.Copy !req
1162. - Well hell, tell him you
got the Alabama claps.Copy !req
1163. - 1 got it, Nell,
give me the phone.Copy !req
1164. But the bitch is
still ugly enoughCopy !req
1165. to break daylight with her fist.Copy !req
1166. - Now what you fixin' to do?Copy !req
1167. - I'm gonna call Lucifer.Copy !req
1168. - No need to call him, he
know he got an ugly bitch.Copy !req
1169. - Hello?Copy !req
1170. - Lou, listen.Copy !req
1171. I've got a question to ask you.Copy !req
1172. Yes, I'd like to go into
meditation before my wedding.Copy !req
1173. - Meditation?Copy !req
1174. What do you mean meditation?Copy !req
1175. - Well my father was a
guru and he said to meCopy !req
1176. "Son, my only son,"
says "it would be niceCopy !req
1177. “If you would meditate
before your wedding.”Copy !req
1178. - Do you have to?Copy !req
1179. - Yes, old Father
would like it, Lou.Copy !req
1180. - Very well.Copy !req
1181. Just as long as you are there.Copy !req
1182. - I'll be there, but Lou,Copy !req
1183. remember I'll be
in deep meditation.Copy !req
1184. Bye, Father.Copy !req
1185. - Meditation?Copy !req
1186. Man, you don't know
about no damn meditation!Copy !req
1187. - Jimmy,
you know you usedCopy !req
1188. to be good at making things.Copy !req
1189. - Yeah, so what's that mean?Copy !req
1190. - I want you to make a
mask that looks like me.Copy !req
1191. And we'll go and get a winoCopy !req
1192. and we'll dope that
sucker up not with wine,Copy !req
1193. but with the heavy shit.Copy !req
1194. We'll put that mask on him andCopy !req
1195. when Lou comes to pick me
up we'll let him take him.Copy !req
1196. And by the time he
find out it ain't me,Copy !req
1197. we'll be all the
way across country.Copy !req
1198. - Now where are you
gonna find a wino?Copy !req
1199. - Down at the Dewdrop Inn.Copy !req
1200. - If you go down there dressed
like that you'll drop in.Copy !req
1201. - There one
is over there, Jimmy.Copy !req
1202. - Where?Copy !req
1203. - You see
him right there.Copy !req
1204. - Man look at that asshole,Copy !req
1205. don't you know he too fat?Copy !req
1206. - You right, he is all
butt and gut, but he'll do.Copy !req
1207. Let's dope up that son of a gunCopy !req
1208. and carry him to ol' Lou.Copy !req
1209. - Well give me the shit
then, let me get him ready.Copy !req
1210. When I get him set
up, I want y'allCopy !req
1211. to come right out
there soon as I get himCopy !req
1212. to turn around and do
it to him, you hear?Copy !req
1213. Get him ready.Copy !req
1214. What's happening, Uncle Jake?Copy !req
1215. I haven't seen you
in three years.Copy !req
1216. Man I've been back
in town a week,Copy !req
1217. I've been looking
for, where you been?Copy !req
1218. - I'm not your Uncle Jake!Copy !req
1219. - You'll be my uncle
now, you fat rascal,Copy !req
1220. you and anything else
I want you to be.Copy !req
1221. - Damn, looks
just like Petey!Copy !req
1222. - How long will this
mask last, Jimmy?Copy !req
1223. - At least a couple days.Copy !req
1224. - Good.Copy !req
1225. I'll tell my Father
not to disturbCopy !req
1226. my meditation for
a couple of weeks.Copy !req
1227. - What about y'alls honeymoon?Copy !req
1228. - Yeah, suppose the ugly broadCopy !req
1229. want some and she
started playingCopy !req
1230. around with that damn
wino and nothing happens?Copy !req
1231. - Then she'll know how I feel.Copy !req
1232. - Don't worry, don't worry.Copy !req
1233. She will never know
the difference.Copy !req
1234. - But Petey, suppose
Lucifer finds outCopy !req
1235. we done crossed him, man you
know the shit's gonna fly.Copy !req
1236. - Listen, I'd rather
for the shit to flyCopy !req
1237. than for me to have to
marry that ugly bitch.Copy !req
1238. - But you know that weird
dude don't take no shit.Copy !req
1239. - Just remember one thing.Copy !req
1240. - What's that?Copy !req
1241. - I've got his
cane and that makesCopy !req
1242. me just as powerful as he.Copy !req
1243. - There it is, it's finished.Copy !req
1244. - All right, let's put it on
the wino and see how it fits.Copy !req
1245. - Well Petey, there you
lay and here you stand.Copy !req
1246. But if ol' Lucifer find out,Copy !req
1247. I'm gonna tell you there'll
be some shit in the sand.Copy !req
1248. - It's weird.Copy !req
1249. Petey, he looks just like you.Copy !req
1250. - Well kiss my Aunt Rhoda's ass.Copy !req
1251. resemble me.Copy !req
1252. I tell you what we
do, call my FatherCopy !req
1253. and tell him that I am
ready to be picked up.Copy !req
1254. - Where am I supposed
to sleep tonight?Copy !req
1255. - Baby, stay here, ain't
nothing but a wino,Copy !req
1256. he'll be out for
two, three days.Copy !req
1257. - Petey, I'm not staying
here with no derelict.Copy !req
1258. - I'll tell you what, we'll rentCopy !req
1259. a motel room for the night.Copy !req
1260. - Good.Copy !req
1261. - Petey, I still
think you oughtaCopy !req
1262. marry the ugly old
rascal and figure how toCopy !req
1263. get you a divorce when
you get down in hell.Copy !req
1264. - Don't worry about
it, it'll work.Copy !req
1265. Let's cover the wino up and
get the hell outta here.Copy !req
1266. - Damn, time sure is going
slow, it's only three o'clock.Copy !req
1267. I wish we could get
this shit over with,Copy !req
1268. this is worrying
the hell out of me.Copy !req
1269. - Why, why did you
have to meet himCopy !req
1270. here in my place man?Copy !req
1271. - Oh Petey, I'm so scared.Copy !req
1272. I mean what if
something goes wrong?Copy !req
1273. We may never see
each other again.Copy !req
1274. - Now don't worry about it.Copy !req
1275. Everything's gonna
be all right, baby.Copy !req
1276. - Petey, it's him.Copy !req
1277. - Uh oh!Copy !req
1278. - Don't worry about it.Copy !req
1279. Everybody just smile.Copy !req
1280. - Good afternoon,
Petey and friends.Copy !req
1281. - Good afternoon, Father.Copy !req
1282. - Ah, Petey, I feel
great, just great!Copy !req
1283. - Father, why are
you here so soon?Copy !req
1284. I thought you were coming downCopy !req
1285. about 11 o'clock tonight?Copy !req
1286. - Oh Petey, I came by to
give you a pre-wedding gift.Copy !req
1287. If your friends will
excuse you for awhile.Copy !req
1288. - I'm going away with my
Father for a little while.Copy !req
1289. I want y'all to take
care of the fort.Copy !req
1290. Can you dig it?Copy !req
1291. Father!Copy !req
1292. - I hope I'll see you later.Copy !req
1293. - Wait a minute, man, where
in the hell are we going?Copy !req
1294. - My, you're quite edgy.Copy !req
1295. Pre-wedding jitters, I suppose.Copy !req
1296. - I wanna know about this gift
you've been telling me about.Copy !req
1297. - It's just up
the street, Petey.Copy !req
1298. Come along!Copy !req
1299. - Man, if you've
got to run for itCopy !req
1300. it must be a groovy situation.Copy !req
1301. - That's the spirit!Copy !req
1302. - Oh Father, why you
bringing me here?Copy !req
1303. Look like this place
been closed for years.Copy !req
1304. - Enter, my son.Copy !req
1305. Go go go go.Copy !req
1306. - Hm Mm mm?Copy !req
1307. - Come on, that's the spirit.Copy !req
1308. Back, back!Copy !req
1309. Back back back!Copy !req
1310. - Damn, father!Copy !req
1311. You having trouble
trying to findCopy !req
1312. a husband for your daughter.Copy !req
1313. You ain't gonna never
find a wife for your son.Copy !req
1314. - That's not my son.Copy !req
1315. Your very own
bachelor party, Petey.Copy !req
1316. - Father, there's
no one here but us.Copy !req
1317. But father!Copy !req
1318. How in the world?Copy !req
1319. - When I was
young, I always wanted one.Copy !req
1320. Never did though.Copy !req
1321. Have fun, Petey.Copy !req
1322. - Petey.Copy !req
1323. - Petey.Copy !req
1324. - Petey.Copy !req
1325. - He's indeed strong.Copy !req
1326. - I'll never forget
this raggedy old shack.Copy !req
1327. If I ever get a chance
I'll damn sure come back.Copy !req
1328. A gift from my Father
that's against the law,Copy !req
1329. but you girls will always
remember ol' Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
1330. - Where in the hell is Petey?Copy !req
1331. He should've been
here hours ago.Copy !req
1332. - What time is it, Jimmy?Copy !req
1333. - It's almost 11 o'clock, Nell.Copy !req
1334. I'm supposed to be calling
the man in a few minutes.Copy !req
1335. Petey, where in the
hell have you been?Copy !req
1336. Supposed to being pick
you up in a few minutes.Copy !req
1337. - Partying hardy,
is everything ready?Copy !req
1338. - Take a look at yourself.Copy !req
1339. - Good, when they
come to pick me upCopy !req
1340. I want y'all to act very
sad that I'm leaving.Copy !req
1341. And when they leave, let's
meet over at Nell's place.Copy !req
1342. - Okay.Copy !req
1343. - Hey hey, they're here,
they coming in right now!Copy !req
1344. - The time has arrived.Copy !req
1345. - Oh Petey.Copy !req
1346. - Petey Wheatstraw
must come with us.Copy !req
1347. - He's waiting, sir.Copy !req
1348. But be very careful
with him becauseCopy !req
1349. you do not want to disturb
his deep meditation.Copy !req
1350. - Goodbye, Petey, we're
gonna miss you so much!Copy !req
1351. - We've been had,Copy !req
1352. my dear.Copy !req
1353. How could he do that?Copy !req
1354. Of course, he still
has that cane.Copy !req
1355. Get that cane and
bring that wretchedCopy !req
1356. Petey Wheatstraw to me!Copy !req
1357. - I knew it, I knew it, Petey,Copy !req
1358. I told you it wasn't gonna work!Copy !req
1359. - Oh my apartment
must be a wreck!Copy !req
1360. Petey, maybe you
should've married her.Copy !req
1361. - Nell, you got be sick!Copy !req
1362. - Petey, Petey, I told
you it wouldn't work!Copy !req
1363. They're out to get me, I
don't know what we gonna do!Copy !req
1364. - Oh Petey, they were horrible!Copy !req
1365. - Shit, I was scared to death!Copy !req
1366. - The cane is the
strength, as long asCopy !req
1367. we can keep it, we
have nothing to fear!Copy !req
1368. - Then what we supposed to
do, live together forever?Copy !req
1369. - The cane, we can keep it untilCopy !req
1370. we can get out of town,
it will protect us.Copy !req
1371. Let's make it, we gonna catch
the first thing smoking.Copy !req
1372. - I have been made
a complete fool of.Copy !req
1373. Now retribution is
due Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
1374. - Bring the dirty dog to me!Copy !req
1375. I'll fix his ass!Copy !req
1376. - You are my chosen disciples.Copy !req
1377. The prides of my kingdom.Copy !req
1378. Now go...Copy !req
1379. and bring Petey
Wheatstraw to me.Copy !req
1380. - Can we all please
hurry up, we late,Copy !req
1381. we gotta catch the damn plane!Copy !req
1382. - Jimmy, we're hurrying
as fast as we can,Copy !req
1383. Petey, what about my
apartment and all my things?Copy !req
1384. - To hell with this apartment!Copy !req
1385. We've got to make it,
let's get out of here!Copy !req
1386. - Petey, look out!Copy !req
1387. Ted!Copy !req
1388. - Petey, let's get
the hell outta here!Copy !req
1389. - What's going on?Copy !req
1390. - Come on here, you ol—Copy !req
1391. - Petey, wait!Copy !req
1392. - Forget that stuff, Nell!Copy !req
1393. - I gotta get my stuff.Copy !req
1394. - Come on!
- It costs money!Copy !req
1395. - Dammit!Copy !req
1396. - Petey!Copy !req
1397. Jimmy, wait!Copy !req
1398. - Can't wait, come on!Copy !req
1399. - I'm trying, I'm outta breath!Copy !req
1400. - Come on and sit down
for a minute and rest.Copy !req
1401. - Petey, what's happening?Copy !req
1402. Now we gotta do something.Copy !req
1403. Oh my God!Copy !req
1404. Oh damn, Petey!Copy !req
1405. - Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
1406. Stop fighting at once,
or the woman dies!Copy !req
1407. - Petey!Copy !req
1408. Petey, please help me!Copy !req
1409. - Bargain
time again, Petey!Copy !req
1410. - Come on, y'all.Copy !req
1411. - Just you, Petey!Copy !req
1412. And bring my cane with you!Copy !req
1413. - Jimmy, go and get your car.Copy !req
1414. Park it out front.Copy !req
1415. I'll be down in a minute.Copy !req
1416. - I trusted you,
Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
1417. And you made a fool of me.Copy !req
1418. I could kill you, Petey!Copy !req
1419. And feel nothing.Copy !req
1420. But I have a better idea.Copy !req
1421. You will marry my daughter
and I will see to itCopy !req
1422. that she makes every breath
you draw a prayer for death!Copy !req
1423. Forever!Copy !req
1424. - What about Nell?Copy !req
1425. - I have no use for
her, she may go.Copy !req
1426. Seize him!Copy !req
1427. Bind him!Copy !req
1428. Hold him, you idiots!Copy !req
1429. - Nell, where the hell is Petey?Copy !req
1430. - They still got him up there.Copy !req
1431. Jimmy, you gotta do something,
now we gotta help him,Copy !req
1432. we gotta go up
there or something.Copy !req
1433. - I'm not going up there.Copy !req
1434. He told me stay in the car,Copy !req
1435. I'm not going up there Nell, no.Copy !req
1436. - Hold him!Copy !req
1437. - Jimmy.Copy !req
1438. - What?Copy !req
1439. - Can you take me
home for a minute?Copy !req
1440. - Hell no!Copy !req
1441. - Jimmy, look, I
gotta get my money,Copy !req
1442. I gotta get my
makeup, my underwear,Copy !req
1443. I need my things!Copy !req
1444. - No, no!Copy !req
1445. I'm not going nowhere,
I'm sitting rightCopy !req
1446. here 'till Petey come.Copy !req
1447. - Oh Jimmy,
it's just rightCopy !req
1448. up the street, we'll
make it back in time.Copy !req
1449. - Aw shit, Ted!
- Please Jimmy, please!Copy !req
1450. - Okay.Copy !req
1451. - Petey!Copy !req
1452. Petey!Copy !req
1453. Petey, it's me, wait!Copy !req
1454. Wait, Petey, we're friends.Copy !req
1455. I trusted you, Petey.Copy !req
1456. You must trust me!Copy !req
1457. - You can't trust the Devil!Copy !req
1458. Any fool knows that!Copy !req
1459. Daniel Webster tricked youCopy !req
1460. and you still brought
your little ass back.Copy !req
1461. This time it's over!Copy !req
1462. No more heartache and pain.Copy !req
1463. I'm gonna destroy your ass!Copy !req
1464. With your own walking cane.Copy !req
1465. - No, Petey!Copy !req
1466. No, Petey, no, no!Copy !req
1467. No!Copy !req
1468. No!Copy !req
1469. No!Copy !req
1470. No!Copy !req
1471. - There he is,
there he is, there's Petey!Copy !req
1472. - Yeah I
knew it, I told youCopy !req
1473. we shouldn't have left
in the first place.Copy !req
1474. Where's he going?Copy !req
1475. - It's over, it's over!Copy !req
1476. - He mistook that as my car!
- Oh Jimmy, that's him!Copy !req
1477. - Who?Copy !req
1478. - I killed the Devil, he's dead!Copy !req
1479. - That's the spirit, my son!Copy !req
1480. - No, Petey, no!Copy !req
1481. - This door's
locked, I can't get—Copy !req
1482. - It won't open!
- Petey!Copy !req
1483. - How you been, Petey?Copy !req
1484. - Didn't think you'd ever
see us again, huh Petey?Copy !req
1485. - Now you may kiss the bride!Copy !req