1. - Yes!Copy !req
2. I'm Petey Wheatstraw,
the Devil's son-in-law!Copy !req
3. The high sheriff of Hell.Copy !req
4. I went with Notorius Fatty,Copy !req
5. and even made love
to old Lula Bell.Copy !req
6. I took today and brought
back yesterday!Copy !req
7. Took the 4th of July
and put it in June!Copy !req
8. And make leap year
jump over the moon.Copy !req
9. I'm not here to brag,
nor here to boast!Copy !req
10. I can sit on a tombstone
and produce baby ghosts.Copy !req
11. Why I can even remember
the day I was born!Copy !req
12. It was the day of that
great Miami, Florida storm!Copy !req
13. Release yourself.Copy !req
14. - He's coming!Copy !req
15. He's coming!
- He's coming!Copy !req
16. - Oh Jesus!Copy !req
17. He's coming.Copy !req
18. - Oh Jesus, my God.Copy !req
19. Doctor, doctor, doctor!Copy !req
20. I'm so glad you got here!Copy !req
21. She's almost ready now!Copy !req
22. Any minute now!Copy !req
23. - Help me Lord! (yells)Copy !req
24. - My God, she's gonna
have an elephant?Copy !req
25. - Is you trying to say my
wife screwed an elephant?Copy !req
26. - Just get me some water!Copy !req
27. Lots of hot water!Copy !req
28. - Hurry!Copy !req
29. Hurry!Copy !req
30. - It's gonna be all
right, just hold on.Copy !req
31. Oh my God!Copy !req
32. I've never heard
anything like thisCopy !req
33. in my life before!Copy !req
34. Oh my Lord, oh my God!Copy !req
35. Is he coming, is he
coming, is he coming?Copy !req
36. Is he coming?Copy !req
37. - It's here, it's here.Copy !req
38. Oh doctor, oh doctor help me!Copy !req
39. Help me, Lord have mercy, Jesus!Copy !req
40. - Come on, come on down.Copy !req
41. Come on down, come on down.Copy !req
42. Right there, right
there, help me.Copy !req
43. Okay, okay.Copy !req
44. Ow!Copy !req
45. He bit me!Copy !req
46. He bit me!Copy !req
47. I got him, I got him.Copy !req
48. - You got him, doctor?Copy !req
49. - I got him.Copy !req
50. - Hurry, doctor, hurry!Copy !req
51. - Help me, mama,
you gotta help me!Copy !req
52. Come on, push!Copy !req
53. Bear down, bear down!Copy !req
54. Push, push, come on!Copy !req
55. Yes, yes, yes, he's coming!Copy !req
56. He's coming!Copy !req
57. My God, it's coming,
it's coming, it's coming!Copy !req
58. Bear down, bear down!Copy !req
59. - Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
60. - He's coming, push push!Copy !req
61. Oh, oh he's coming!Copy !req
62. Shees, oh my God!Copy !req
63. Are you sure this
isn't an elephant?Copy !req
64. Oh my God!Copy !req
65. - Ow, that hurts!Copy !req
66. - It's alive!Copy !req
67. It's alive!Copy !req
68. It's alive.Copy !req
69. - Don't no grandy
doctor soppy suckerCopy !req
70. gonna hit on me and
get away with it.Copy !req
71. - Help me, help
me, help me, somebody help!Copy !req
72. Gotta come help me.Copy !req
73. Take him off me.Copy !req
74. Willy!Copy !req
75. - (yells)
Help, help me,Copy !req
76. Take him off me!Copy !req
77. Come on, please!Copy !req
78. - I know you, you the one thatCopy !req
79. disturbed me every
night in my sleep!Copy !req
80. - But I'm your daddy, boy!Copy !req
81. - You stop it!Copy !req
82. Stop it right this minute, boy.Copy !req
83. And you get your little narrow
ass over there and stand.Copy !req
84. - Thank you, doctor.Copy !req
85. How much do we owe you?Copy !req
86. - Nothing, nothing, just let meCopy !req
87. get the hell outta here!Copy !req
88. - Your name will be
Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
89. - Well if it ain't
little Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
90. - You mean Punky Wheatstraw.Copy !req
91. - Do not be alarmed.Copy !req
92. I am a friend.Copy !req
93. It took courage and bravery
to fight them as you did.Copy !req
94. - Imma get them back for thisCopy !req
95. even if it takes my whole life,Copy !req
96. Imma get all of 'em one by one.Copy !req
97. - Would you spend your
whole life seeking revenge?Copy !req
98. - What do you mean?Copy !req
99. Who are you anyway?Copy !req
100. - I am Bantu, and you?Copy !req
101. - Petey, Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
102. - Wisdom is the
way of the world.Copy !req
103. There's much you do
not understand, son.Copy !req
104. I will teach you the
ancient oriental ways.Copy !req
105. - You are ready now.Copy !req
106. I have taught you
all the mysteriesCopy !req
107. of the world and the
art of self defense.Copy !req
108. - I owe you much, Bantu,
I am most grateful,Copy !req
109. but there's only one
thing that bothers me.Copy !req
110. - Yes?Copy !req
111. - Well this is
not what I dreamedCopy !req
112. of doing with my life,
I've always wantedCopy !req
113. to be on stage
making people laugh.Copy !req
114. You know a, a—Copy !req
115. - A comedian?Copy !req
116. - Yeah, so I can
try and save theCopy !req
117. world from some of its miseries.Copy !req
118. Is it possible?Copy !req
119. - Yes it's possible.Copy !req
120. Stand up.Copy !req
121. You will always love and respectCopy !req
122. those who always
love and respect you.Copy !req
123. You will take no
abuse from any manCopy !req
124. living or dead.Copy !req
125. You will use your wisdom as
a weapon against all evil.Copy !req
126. - Thank you.Copy !req
127. My my my my my, what an ass.Copy !req
128. I've always liked
women with big asses.Copy !req
129. - Some asses for need, but
this ass is for please.Copy !req
130. - I see we have another
comedian in the house!Copy !req
131. You still got a
lot of ass, mama.Copy !req
132. I say one thing,
if this place wouldCopy !req
133. catch on fire, they'd tell
everybody to haul ass,Copy !req
134. you would have to make 10 trips.Copy !req
135. - Hey man, you can't talk
to my woman like that.Copy !req
136. - Shut up!Copy !req
137. Shut your ugly, old
time, ancient ass up!Copy !req
138. If you say one more word to me,Copy !req
139. I'll have that lady
take one of herCopy !req
140. titties and beat
the shit out of you.Copy !req
141. And I ain't lying either!Copy !req
142. Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you very much.Copy !req
143. I am what I am and I'm gonna beCopy !req
144. the very best of what I am.Copy !req
145. And for those who don't
like me confidentially,Copy !req
146. I don't give a damn.Copy !req
147. I'd like to thank
you for lettingCopy !req
148. me be myself, thank you!Copy !req
149. - Ladies and gentlemen, Petey!Copy !req
150. Petey, Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
151. - How did we do tonight, Jimmy?Copy !req
152. - Over the boat, Pete,
things looks good, brotherCopy !req
153. We gotta hurry 'cause
we got a plane to catch.Copy !req
154. - Take me with you, Petey.Copy !req
155. - Oh Sheila, we've been throughCopy !req
156. this many times, you
know the score, baby.Copy !req
157. - Sheila, baby, you
know how it is withCopy !req
158. us honey, you've got
to hang on in there.Copy !req
159. - You're gonna see that
Nell bitch, ain't ya?Copy !req
160. - Oh Sheila, listen,
you know the business,Copy !req
161. baby, I'll send
for you next week.Copy !req
162. - And what about Nell?Copy !req
163. - What about Nell, baby, you
know it's only me and you!Copy !req
164. - Sheila, baby,
don't be so uptight,Copy !req
165. I'll see that you get a
plane ticket next week.Copy !req
166. - Hey Petey, beautiful man,Copy !req
167. really good this time, we
got to do it again real soon.Copy !req
168. Y'all take it slow,
Jimmy, it was a pleasure.Copy !req
169. Don't mean to run,
but I got somethingCopy !req
170. planned for me, takin' off.Copy !req
171. - Hang in there, doc.Copy !req
172. Okay y'all, let's
get out of here.Copy !req
173. - I hope this little
business adventureCopy !req
174. turns out the way
it's supposed to.Copy !req
175. 100 grand is a lot of
money and this placeCopy !req
176. doesn't look like it
holds over 200 people.Copy !req
177. - This is not it.Copy !req
178. We got a place over
on the East sideCopy !req
179. that holds over 2,000 people.Copy !req
180. And I guarantee you
this'll be the biggest showCopy !req
181. to hit this city
in quite some time.Copy !req
182. With the kind of cash that youCopy !req
183. just loaned us, we can't miss!Copy !req
184. Right, Skillet?Copy !req
185. - Right!Copy !req
186. We've checked out all
the risks very carefully.Copy !req
187. Mr. White, we're gonna give youCopy !req
188. a 20% return on all your money.Copy !req
189. You won't be sorry.Copy !req
190. No siree.Copy !req
191. - I hope not.Copy !req
192. For that kind of money the
company can get a little ugly.Copy !req
193. But for some reason I
think it's gonna work.Copy !req
194. Soft season, all the good
acts are on the road.Copy !req
195. With that kind of
money you'll beCopy !req
196. able to advertise
and pull 'em in.Copy !req
197. Now are you sure no
one's coming into town?Copy !req
198. - Mr. White, stop worrying.Copy !req
199. We have no competition
for at leastCopy !req
200. three or more months
from now, right Skillet?Copy !req
201. - Happy times are right
around the corner. (laughing)Copy !req
202. Mr. White, you about to becomeCopy !req
203. the luckiest investor
of the century.Copy !req
204. - Yeah, or lose and become theCopy !req
205. most dangerous man in town.Copy !req
206. Dangerous for you guys that is.Copy !req
207. I'll keep in touch.Copy !req
208. Keep the faith.Copy !req
209. - (laughs) And
keep the bankroll.Copy !req
210. Skillet, let's get started.Copy !req
211. - Yeah, let's get started.Copy !req
212. - (laughs) Madam Wright,
come on over here.Copy !req
213. Listen, we need singers.Copy !req
214. We need musicians,
we need dancers.Copy !req
215. Lookie here, the kind of moneyCopy !req
216. we got, we can do some booking.Copy !req
217. - We gonna party now!
- That's right!Copy !req
218. - We living, brother!Copy !req
219. - Living? Living?Copy !req
220. Living between the
sky and the EarthCopy !req
221. and ain't touching dirt nowhere!Copy !req
222. - Nowhere! (laughing)Copy !req
223. - Yeah, that song so
good, and I'm your daddy,Copy !req
224. The Hit man, on XERA Radio!Copy !req
225. Moving right along, as
we told you earlier,Copy !req
226. it's celebrity time.Copy !req
227. The one and only Mr.
Excitement himself,Copy !req
228. Petey Wheatstraw,
what's happening man?Copy !req
229. I'm glad to be back in town.Copy !req
230. You know I'm opening
at Steve's DenCopy !req
231. with my all girls toy show.Copy !req
232. - Hey I know it's
gonna be a good show.Copy !req
233. Tell us about this 'cause I knowCopy !req
234. it's gonna be a
right all situation.Copy !req
235. - All I can say is to the peopleCopy !req
236. out there in radio
land I want toCopy !req
237. see your face in the placeCopy !req
238. and your feet under the seatCopy !req
239. SO you can put some
Zip in your hipCopy !req
240. and slide in your glide.Copy !req
241. - Big fat girl
strutting in there but oh!Copy !req
242. - Just a minute baby.Copy !req
243. - And that's June
15th at Steve's Den.Copy !req
244. - I'll talk to you later, baby.Copy !req
245. - Be there!Copy !req
246. - Our opening night?Copy !req
247. The 15th?Copy !req
248. Leroy!Copy !req
249. Leroy!Copy !req
250. I gotta talk to you, partner.Copy !req
251. - Man, you made me
blow my damn shot!Copy !req
252. - Wait a minute!Copy !req
253. I just learned on the radio
Petey Wheatstraw is in town.Copy !req
254. - You what?Copy !req
255. - He's gonna open show
there on June the 15th!Copy !req
256. Leroy, we can't stand
up to competition,Copy !req
257. he'll kill us for sure.Copy !req
258. Remember what Mr. White
said about his money.Copy !req
259. If we don't pay him back?Copy !req
260. We dead, partner, what
are we gonna do Leroy?Copy !req
261. What we gonna do?Copy !req
262. - Shut up and let me think!Copy !req
263. - What you got up
your sleeve, partner?Copy !req
264. - Wait, I'll call
Petey on the phone.Copy !req
265. See if I can get
him to postpone.Copy !req
266. - Dig it.Copy !req
267. - And if that don't
work, there's other waysCopy !req
268. to make him give in.Copy !req
269. Get Willy on the phone quick!Copy !req
270. - I'll get him on the phone.Copy !req
271. - Rack man, rack 'em up!Copy !req
272. - Well Steve, you got the jointCopy !req
273. looking good, but
you still ain'tCopy !req
274. done shit with that
small dressing room,Copy !req
275. you know Petey don't like
no small dressing room, man.Copy !req
276. - Damn right, that dressing roomCopy !req
277. ain't big enough to fart in.Copy !req
278. - You didn't come
here to fart or shit,Copy !req
279. you came here to do your thing!Copy !req
280. - But your dressing room stillCopy !req
281. looks like a shit house!Copy !req
282. - I got it looking
like a shit houseCopy !req
283. because of one reason,
Petey, let me tell you.Copy !req
284. The way a person shit tells ifCopy !req
285. they have love or larceny.Copy !req
286. See, people that have
love in their heart,Copy !req
287. they sit down and they shit.Copy !req
288. Reach for the toilet paper,
wipe that shitty ass,Copy !req
289. and then they flush it down.Copy !req
290. People that have
larceny, they sit downCopy !req
291. and they shit (trills tongue),Copy !req
292. wipe that shitty ass, but
because they have larceny,Copy !req
293. before they flush it down,Copy !req
294. they have to turn around
and peep at that shit.Copy !req
295. Anybody don't trust their own
asshole must have larceny.Copy !req
296. - And it still looks like a
shit house, can you dig it?Copy !req
297. - Let me say this, Petey.Copy !req
298. We got the posters ready,Copy !req
299. and man we are ready
to roll this weekend.Copy !req
300. - Steve, you mean to tell meCopy !req
301. you haven't got the posters upCopy !req
302. and we getting ready
to open next week?Copy !req
303. - Well never mind
all that Petey.Copy !req
304. Anyway, I put my boy
right over there.Copy !req
305. - Can I help, Ted?Copy !req
306. - No Larry, you'd
just be in the way.Copy !req
307. - Oh Ted, you haven't seen yourCopy !req
308. brother in four months,Copy !req
309. why don't you let
him come along?Copy !req
310. - Come on, 1.Copy !req
311. - Okay, you can help.Copy !req
312. I'll go and get changed
and we'll get started.Copy !req
313. - Matter of fact I'll kick in aCopy !req
314. few bucks for the little man.Copy !req
315. - What?Copy !req
316. - Steve, you are
volunteering to pay somebody?Copy !req
317. - Don't you be so
cold on my man.Copy !req
318. - Oh baby, don't worry
about it, they only kidding.Copy !req
319. - Petey, why don't
y'all drink up man,Copy !req
320. my lady's fixin' to poo, we
got to get on out of here.Copy !req
321. - Let's drink a toast to
a successful engagement.Copy !req
322. Hey, stop!Copy !req
323. - God damn!Copy !req
324. These dope-headed
junkies make me sick!Copy !req
325. That's why niggers in the
ghetto can't have shit!Copy !req
326. - Hey you, get back!Copy !req
327. Jimmy, you should do
something, help him!Copy !req
328. - I got the money, what the
hell you think I can do,Copy !req
329. I can't take those damn junkies!Copy !req
330. - Shit!Copy !req
331. - Come on, nigger, scram, man!Copy !req
332. Come on!Copy !req
333. Come on, fight it!Copy !req
334. - Y'all got a lot of
nerve messing with my car.Copy !req
335. Penny addict junkies,
that's all you are.Copy !req
336. You'll take from your
mama, you'll even takeCopy !req
337. the limbs off of a tree!Copy !req
338. But I'm gonna kick your
ass for messing with me.Copy !req
339. All right, you clowns,
up on your feet.Copy !req
340. You going back to
my car and puttingCopy !req
341. my shit back just
like you found it!Copy !req
342. All right, let's go!Copy !req
343. All right, move!Copy !req
344. Ladies and gentlemen, I want youCopy !req
345. to remember their facesCopy !req
346. SO you can know who's
breaking into your places!Copy !req
347. If they do it to me,
they'll do it to you!Copy !req
348. So I want you to stick your footCopy !req
349. up their ass the
next time they do!Copy !req
350. - But Leroy, what we gonna do?Copy !req
351. If he's gonna put on a show—Copy !req
352. - Shut up!Copy !req
353. I'm trying to think!Copy !req
354. Willie!
- Yeah, boss?Copy !req
355. - I want you to keep an eye onCopy !req
356. Petey and his boys.
- Right.Copy !req
357. - I wanna know every move theyCopy !req
358. make day and night.Copy !req
359. Take some of the boysCopy !req
360. and call me every
hour on the hour.Copy !req
361. - Right.Copy !req
362. Castro, Brian, let's go.Copy !req
363. - But Leroy!Copy !req
364. If he's gonna put on a show—Copy !req
365. - You said that already!Copy !req
366. He's probably staying
at Nell's place.Copy !req
367. We'll call him.Copy !req
368. Maybe we can get him
to change his mind.Copy !req
369. - Change his mind?Copy !req
370. After what we did to Petey?Copy !req
371. He'll come through that
phone and strangle us.Copy !req
372. - Petey knows the score now.Copy !req
373. He's on our terrain now.Copy !req
374. All we gotta do is put a littleCopy !req
375. pressure on him, he'll yield.Copy !req
376. - Leroy, I don't think—Copy !req
377. - Don't think!Copy !req
378. Just get Nell on the phone.Copy !req
379. I wanna talk to Petey.Copy !req
380. - Look, what is it
with you, Petey?Copy !req
381. Don't I even turn
you on a little?Copy !req
382. - Nell, you know I don't like toCopy !req
383. mix business with pleasure.Copy !req
384. - It's always business with you.Copy !req
385. You know how I feel about you.Copy !req
386. - Nell, I didn't mean
to hurt you, baby.Copy !req
387. Come over here.Copy !req
388. Let's give it a whirl.Copy !req
389. May not even be as
bad as I think it is.Copy !req
390. - Shit.Copy !req
391. Hello?Copy !req
392. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
393. It's for you, now don't be long.Copy !req
394. - Baby, this is
gonna be the shortestCopy !req
395. phone call in Bell
Telephone's history.Copy !req
396. Can you dig it?Copy !req
397. - Mmmhm.Copy !req
398. - Petey, how you doing, brother?Copy !req
399. - Don't brother
me, you no businessCopy !req
400. barn rat soup eat in"
son of a bitch!Copy !req
401. I want you and that
fat slob partnerCopy !req
402. of yours to pay me the
money ya'll owe me!Copy !req
403. - (laughs) That's exactly
what I was calling you for.Copy !req
404. I want to pay you back,
but on one condition.Copy !req
405. - Condition my ass!Copy !req
406. It's y'all that owe me!Copy !req
407. I will condition you,
I'll put my foot up youCopy !req
408. and that big bear's ass both!Copy !req
409. - Look Petey, Skillet and I areCopy !req
410. in a bad position.Copy !req
411. You see, we want you to postponeCopy !req
412. your engagement
for a few months.Copy !req
413. We borrowed a big piece of moneyCopy !req
414. and we can't afford
your competition.Copy !req
415. - You have the nerve to call meCopy !req
416. and ask me to cancel
my engagement!Copy !req
417. I wouldn't stop my show if youCopy !req
418. needed ice water in hell!Copy !req
419. - So that's the way you
wanna play, huh nigga?Copy !req
420. Well you know two of us
can play that, you hear?Copy !req
421. - Why you.Copy !req
422. - What was that all about?Copy !req
423. - Nell, listen, I
want you to callCopy !req
424. Jimmy and the boys
because the shitCopy !req
425. look like it's done hit the fan.Copy !req
426. - (scoffs) What about
our little party?Copy !req
427. - It'll have to wait.Copy !req
428. This is money.Copy !req
429. Business, baby.Copy !req
430. As you know, romance without
finance is a damn nuisance.Copy !req
431. - Yeah?Copy !req
432. - I'm still following
this Jackson dude, boss.Copy !req
433. He's hanging posters
all over the place.Copy !req
434. - Well rough him up a bit.Copy !req
435. Petey won't bend,
so we'll bend him.Copy !req
436. - I'm on it on.Copy !req
437. - Shut up!Copy !req
438. - Mmm mmm, this is
sho' 'nuff good!Copy !req
439. - Mmmhmm!Copy !req
440. Ted, the next time you leaveCopy !req
441. are you gonna be gone long?Copy !req
442. - I don't know, why?Copy !req
443. - 'Cause
when you're goneCopy !req
444. I don't have no one to talk to.Copy !req
445. - You talk to mama, don't you?Copy !req
446. - Yeah, but she's
always working.Copy !req
447. She be too tired.Copy !req
448. - Well what do you
do in the meantime?Copy !req
449. - Swish!Copy !req
450. Play basketball 'cause I'm
gonna be a basketball star.Copy !req
451. - And skip school.Copy !req
452. Yeah, mama told me
what you been doing.Copy !req
453. Look, if you wanna
be a basketball star,Copy !req
454. you're gonna have to
stop skipping school.Copy !req
455. You think Jabbar skipped school?Copy !req
456. No he didn't and
neither can you.Copy !req
457. Now I want you to
raise your right handCopy !req
458. and swear that you
won't skip again.Copy !req
459. Come on.Copy !req
460. Come on!Copy !req
461. - I swear I won't
skip no more school.Copy !req
462. If Jabbar didn't
then I won't neither.Copy !req
463. - My man!Copy !req
464. Now I want you to go
inside and tell mamaCopy !req
465. I'll be a little late and
not to wait up for me.Copy !req
466. - Okay.Copy !req
467. Swish.Copy !req
468. - Two points.Copy !req
469. - You've been pretty
busy today, pal.Copy !req
470. Too bad you won't be able
to work like that tomorrow.Copy !req
471. "Cause your arm's
gonna be broke.Copy !req
472. - What are you
talking about, mister?Copy !req
473. Larry, go inside.Copy !req
474. - No, I'm staying with you.Copy !req
475. - I said go inside!Copy !req
476. - Ted, he's got a gun!Copy !req
477. - Larry, Larry!Copy !req
478. Larry!Copy !req
479. Larry!Copy !req
480. Oh my God, he shot my brother!Copy !req
481. - I can't see you, Ted.Copy !req
482. I feel, I—Copy !req
483. - Don't talk, Larry.Copy !req
484. It's gonna be all right.Copy !req
485. - I saw the whole thing,Copy !req
486. I got the license
plates and everything.Copy !req
487. I called the police
and the ambulanceCopy !req
488. and they're on their way now.Copy !req
489. - I won't skipCopy !req
490. no more school.Copy !req
491. I promise not.Copy !req
492. - Oh no!Copy !req
493. - No!Copy !req
494. - Larry!Copy !req
495. - No!Copy !req
496. - Larry.Copy !req
497. My brother!Copy !req
498. Larry!Copy !req
499. - Oh God, Larry!Copy !req
500. - The Lord giveth.Copy !req
501. And the Lord taketh away.Copy !req
502. Blessed be the name of the Lord.Copy !req
503. The Lord is my Sheperd,
I shall not want.Copy !req
504. He makes me to lie
down in green pastures.Copy !req
505. s And lead me homeCopy !req
506. - Don't panic!Copy !req
507. - Petey?Copy !req
508. Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
509. Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
510. - Who are you, man?Copy !req
511. - My card.Copy !req
512. - Lou Cipher?Copy !req
513. - A small mistake on
the part of the printer.Copy !req
514. Actually it's
pronounced Lucifer.Copy !req
515. - Are you responsible
for all this madness?Copy !req
516. - In most cases I am, but
in this particular instanceCopy !req
517. I happened to walk
upon this disaster.Copy !req
518. You may stand up.Copy !req
519. - Where am I?Copy !req
520. Where am I?Copy !req
521. Where am I at?Copy !req
522. - Your new home, Petey, if
everything works out well.Copy !req
523. Well if you're wondering,
Petey, you're quite dead.Copy !req
524. - And what about all
of these other people?Copy !req
525. Are they?Copy !req
526. - The ones that
have been shot, yes.Copy !req
527. The others are, you
might say, out to lunch.Copy !req
528. - But what do you
want from me, man?Copy !req
529. - My my, you're quite direct.Copy !req
530. I like that.Copy !req
531. She will like that too.Copy !req
532. - She who?Copy !req
533. - We'll talk about that later.Copy !req
534. Your problem seems
to be right now.Copy !req
535. I have a proposition
to offer you,Copy !req
536. Petey, are you
willing to listen?Copy !req
537. - Your propositions you
always wind up on top.Copy !req
538. Just like the shit that
you done to Adam and Eve.Copy !req
539. - Oh Petey, I was young then.Copy !req
540. My salad days.Copy !req
541. My style today is much
more sophisticated.Copy !req
542. - Well what do you
want from me now?Copy !req
543. - A son.Copy !req
544. - A son?Copy !req
545. (laughs) You got to be sick!Copy !req
546. How in the hell can
I give you a son?Copy !req
547. - By simply marrying
my daughter.Copy !req
548. - What's in the
deal for me, man?Copy !req
549. - Gaze upon the root of all thisCopy !req
550. madness as you put it.
(twinkling)Copy !req
551. - Well?Copy !req
552. - You don't have to worry
about Petey no more, boss.Copy !req
553. He's resting in peace.Copy !req
554. - Good.Copy !req
555. Now that he's resting in peace,
we can rest in peace too.Copy !req
556. Lively times!Copy !req
557. - Happy times!Copy !req
558. - Happy times, yeah.Copy !req
559. - Leroy and Skillet.Copy !req
560. I knew it was them two big
fat slobby son of a bitches!Copy !req
561. - Yes, they felt threatened
by your upcoming show in town.Copy !req
562. - Well why Kill a little
boy like that in cold blood?Copy !req
563. - If you would just calm
down a moment and listen,Copy !req
564. perhaps we can work things out.Copy !req
565. - I'm listening.Copy !req
566. - Marry my daughter
and give her a child.Copy !req
567. And I will arrange it for
you to have your life back.Copy !req
568. To strut and fret your
hour upon the stage again.Copy !req
569. Revenge will be yours,
Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
570. - No, this is madness
man, you got to be sick.Copy !req
571. - Well Petey, prepare to die.Copy !req
572. - Let your
wisdom be your weapon.Copy !req
573. Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom.Copy !req
574. - All right.Copy !req
575. I'll marry your daughterCopy !req
576. and give her this son
that you need so badly.Copy !req
577. By the way, what does
your daughter look like?Copy !req
578. - Gee, I hope beauty has nothing
to do with our proposition.Copy !req
579. - Oh hell no, man, uh uh.Copy !req
580. No no no, I won't marry
her, deal or no deal.Copy !req
581. Kill me, man, kill me, uh umm.Copy !req
582. - Yes, my daughter's
quite unfortunate.Copy !req
583. Very well, Petey.Copy !req
584. - Wisdom, wisdom.Copy !req
585. - All right, I'll marry her.Copy !req
586. - You'll be hearing from
me from time to time.Copy !req
587. It will be as though none
of this ever happened.Copy !req
588. - And the
Lord taketh away.Copy !req
589. Blessed be the name of the Lord.Copy !req
590. The Lord is my Sheperd.Copy !req
591. I shall not want.Copy !req
592. - (sobs)
Oh Lord, my baby.Copy !req
593. - Petey, how could
that be, I know—Copy !req
594. - Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
don't worry about it,Copy !req
595. I'll explain it to you later.Copy !req
596. Thank you, dear.Copy !req
597. - That's the way it was.Copy !req
598. I'm not lying.Copy !req
599. That's some crazy
shit, isn't it?Copy !req
600. - Crazy, yeah, but man you
making a deal with the Devil.Copy !req
601. You know how things
like that turn out.Copy !req
602. And anyway, I think
I'd rather be deadCopy !req
603. than marry someone ugly as that!Copy !req
604. - The main thing
man, I'm still alive.Copy !req
605. Now listen, I can
figure out a wayCopy !req
606. to keep from marrying
the Devil's daughter,Copy !req
607. but the main thing we've got toCopy !req
608. deal with Leroy and
Skillet right now.Copy !req
609. - But Petey, I'm scared.Copy !req
610. Now you know how
powerful the Devil is,Copy !req
611. and if you cross him,
he's gonna be mad as hell.Copy !req
612. I mean heaven.Copy !req
613. Oh shit.Copy !req
614. - Oh Nell, you always
worry, now you knowCopy !req
615. I can take care of things.Copy !req
616. Ted!Copy !req
617. Ted!Copy !req
618. Are you all right?Copy !req
619. - Man, I ain't gonna restCopy !req
620. until I settle with
Scarf ace Willie.Copy !req
621. - Right this way, ladies.Copy !req
622. - It's that little punk again.Copy !req
623. - Come on, chump!Copy !req
624. Come on!Copy !req
625. - We'll fix his ass
for keeps it this time.Copy !req
626. Come on!Copy !req
627. - Hey man, come on, come on!Copy !req
628. - Thought you
would've done learnedCopy !req
629. your lesson by now,
little brother.Copy !req
630. Guess you one of them
hard-headed niggers.Copy !req
631. Hold it, Bruce Lee!Copy !req
632. See now you too
dangerous to have around.Copy !req
633. I'm gonna arrange it so
you can be with PeteyCopy !req
634. and your kid brother
for all time!Copy !req
635. Start praying, pal!Copy !req
636. - What's the matter, Willie,
the cat got your tongue?Copy !req
637. I oughta make you eat this gun!Copy !req
638. - But I thought—Copy !req
639. - Yes, tell your
boss I'm still aliveCopy !req
640. and I'm mad as a hornet
in a bumblebee hive!Copy !req
641. I want you to tell
your boss thatCopy !req
642. his days is numbered
and his luck is bad!Copy !req
643. So son of a bitch, (mumbles)!Copy !req
644. Now get your ugly ass on!Copy !req
645. Get!Copy !req
646. Move!Copy !req
647. - Why didn't you
let me finish him?Copy !req
648. - Oh Ted, there will be
revenge on all of them for you,Copy !req
649. don't worry about it.Copy !req
650. Let's make it.Copy !req
651. - Willie, you sure it was him?Copy !req
652. You're sure you got him?Copy !req
653. Well how in the hell
can he still be alive?Copy !req
654. - Maybe he missed him.Copy !req
655. - I know he was dead.Copy !req
656. Nobody could've stood the leadCopy !req
657. we pumped into him, nobody!Copy !req
658. I swear, Leroy!Copy !req
659. - I saw him get hit too, boss.Copy !req
660. He must've took about
four or five slugs.Copy !req
661. - Well how in the hell can heCopy !req
662. still be out there
walking around?Copy !req
663. Somebody tell me!Copy !req
664. - What we gonna do, Leroy?Copy !req
665. - Shut up and let me think!Copy !req
666. I gotta think.Copy !req
667. Phew, this is killing me!Copy !req
668. - Let him think,
everybody, let him think.Copy !req
669. - What happened to him?Copy !req
670. - I think Willie's smell
was too much for him.Copy !req
671. - I think I'm
gonna pass out too.Copy !req
672. - Willie, you get your
stinkin' ass out of here!Copy !req
673. Get out of here and go clean up!Copy !req
674. And get back here on the double!Copy !req
675. - Somebody open a window
or something, damn.Copy !req
676. - I've got it!Copy !req
677. - Well come on with it.Copy !req
678. - He lives in Nell's place.Copy !req
679. - Right.Copy !req
680. - We never did finish our
little party the other night,Copy !req
681. and now we're all aloneCopy !req
682. and there's no one
here to bother us,Copy !req
683. so I'll just take the
phone off the hook.Copy !req
684. Well I'll be damned.Copy !req
685. Hello?Copy !req
686. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
687. It's for you, now don't be long.Copy !req
688. - Yes Petey, there's two thingsCopy !req
689. I neglected to tell you.Copy !req
690. One, you will have powers
beyond your wildest dreams.Copy !req
691. All you have to do is
use my magical cane.Copy !req
692. It contains all of my secrets.Copy !req
693. Two, you must be careful
where and how you use it.Copy !req
694. It will serve every
purpose you will ever need.Copy !req
695. All you have to do is
wield the cane, Petey,Copy !req
696. and my power is yours.Copy !req
697. - Well thanks for calling, Lou.Copy !req
698. - Well who's Lou?Copy !req
699. - Don't worry about it, baby,Copy !req
700. let me introduce you
to a friend of mine.Copy !req
701. - Oh at last, I'm
gonna put somethingCopy !req
702. on you you won't forget.Copy !req
703. - (mumbles)
(screaming)Copy !req
704. - (yelling gibberish)Copy !req
705. - Stop it!Copy !req
706. You guys are
tearing up my place!Copy !req
707. Police!Copy !req
708. Get away from me!Copy !req
709. Petey!Copy !req
710. Petey!Copy !req
711. Oh my vase, hey I'm not
through paying for this!Copy !req
712. Petey!Copy !req
713. Be careful!Copy !req
714. (screams) Petey, watch out!Copy !req
715. - Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
716. Get up, come on.Copy !req
717. - Hello?Copy !req
718. Yes, just a second.Copy !req
719. It's for you.Copy !req
720. - Yes.Copy !req
721. - Petey, I suggest you
pick up that cane tonight.Copy !req
722. At the rate your friends
Skillet and Leroy are going,Copy !req
723. they might surprise
you at any moment.Copy !req
724. And you do want to protect
yourself the next time.Copy !req
725. - Thanks again.Copy !req
726. - Hello?Copy !req
727. Petey?Copy !req
728. What?Copy !req
729. Graveyard?Copy !req
730. Man, at a time like this?Copy !req
731. Aw shit.Copy !req
732. Petey!Copy !req
733. Petey!Copy !req
734. - Sure had a
wonderful time tonight!Copy !req
735. Oh shit, really blew my lid.Copy !req
736. Everybody tell me I did.Copy !req
737. Oh boy did I party up in
this (mumbles) tonight.Copy !req
738. Still takes me so
damn long to get home,Copy !req
739. gee, Maple's gonna be
wondering about me.Copy !req
740. My house look like it done gotCopy !req
741. a little bit small too.Copy !req
742. Maple!Copy !req
743. Open the door, baby,
your baby home!Copy !req
744. Open the door, woman!Copy !req
745. Your (mumbles) out here,Copy !req
746. I know you're in
there, baby, let me in!Copy !req
747. That woman don't
wanna let me in.Copy !req
748. It's (mumbles), woman let me in!Copy !req
749. You won't come open,
well I'll just go all,Copy !req
750. I ain't gonna tell you whereCopy !req
751. I'm going, somewhere else.Copy !req
752. That's what I'm gonna do.Copy !req
753. - Petey, what are we looking
for in this graveyard?Copy !req
754. - Just a little further.Copy !req
755. - Petey!
(groaning)Copy !req
756. Listen, listen!Copy !req
757. - I don't hear nothing, man.Copy !req
758. - Well I hear something, listen.Copy !req
759. - Come on, man, I
don't hear nothing.Copy !req
760. - That's it Pete!Copy !req
761. - Come over here, man.Copy !req
762. Come over here, you
scared fool you!Copy !req
763. - Cold down hereCopy !req
764. Cold down here.Copy !req
765. - (laughs) Well no
wonder you cold,Copy !req
766. you damn fool, you done kickedCopy !req
767. all the dirt off of you!Copy !req
768. - Help me!Copy !req
769. - Come on, let's do
what we come here forCopy !req
770. and let's get out of here.Copy !req
771. - Oh shit man,
why you so scared?Copy !req
772. - Hell, this is a graveyard!Copy !req
773. - Let's put some
dirt on him, Jimmy.Copy !req
774. - Man, I ain't gonna
put nothing on him.Copy !req
775. Come on, let's get what
you got and get outta here!Copy !req
776. Come on, man!Copy !req
777. - Come on man, don't
be so scared, come on!Copy !req
778. Just a little further.Copy !req
779. Ah, there it is.Copy !req
780. The tire.Copy !req
781. - Man, shit, you come
out here to get a tire,Copy !req
782. now you could've gotten
a tire in the morning!Copy !req
783. - Now we can leave.Copy !req
784. I've gots what I come here for.Copy !req
785. - What's that for?Copy !req
786. - Come on, come on, come on,
let's leave, let's leave.Copy !req
787. Come on man, come on!Copy !req
788. Come back here, Jimmy!Copy !req
789. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
790. - Put those
corks in the cooler!Copy !req
791. How many times do I
have to tell you that?Copy !req
792. What is that plant
doing over there?Copy !req
793. Put it on the other
side of the building!Copy !req
794. - Right.Copy !req
795. - Then get up on that ladder andCopy !req
796. fix that better than that.Copy !req
797. Get that shit down from
there, and what are you doing?Copy !req
798. Move that out from over there!Copy !req
799. Let's get moving!Copy !req
800. - Hey boss!Copy !req
801. - Hello! (laughing)Copy !req
802. Mr. White!Copy !req
803. Mr. White, if this
ain't the bestCopy !req
804. investment that you
ever made in your life,Copy !req
805. I'll stand on my head, it's big!Copy !req
806. - It's colossal.Copy !req
807. - It's not even open yet.Copy !req
808. Don't try and sell
me, sell tickets.Copy !req
809. - Oh they
selling by the hundredsCopy !req
810. Mr. White, by the hundreds.Copy !req
811. - Good.Copy !req
812. Now what about this
Wheatstraw character?Copy !req
813. I understand he's
opening a show nearby.Copy !req
814. Now I hope he's no
competition to you guys.Copy !req
815. - No siree, Mr. White.Copy !req
816. We already killed—Copy !req
817. - Uh, what my partner's
trying to say,Copy !req
818. we've killed the idea
of Mr. WheatstrawCopy !req
819. opening a show here.Copy !req
820. See, he's a friend of ours.Copy !req
821. - Okay fine.Copy !req
822. Hold five tickets for me
and my friends, front row.Copy !req
823. - We'll announce
you too, Mr. White.Copy !req
824. Nothing's too good for
you and your friends,Copy !req
825. nothing's too good.Copy !req
826. - Maybe this is a
good deal after all.Copy !req
827. The wife will love it.Copy !req
828. She goes for stuff like this.Copy !req
829. Well I'll see you guys
tomorrow night at the opening.Copy !req
830. Oh, and break your legs.Copy !req
831. - He likes to make jokes.Copy !req
832. Oh Leroy.Copy !req
833. If Petey opens
the show, we dead,Copy !req
834. partner, we dead, you know that.Copy !req
835. - If I had good
people around working,Copy !req
836. Petey would've been out
the way a long time ago.Copy !req
837. - Boss, I'm telling
you, he's gotCopy !req
838. some kind of power or something.Copy !req
839. I mean—Copy !req
840. - Boss, you know I don't
believe in that kindCopy !req
841. of shit either, but
it's true, it's weird.Copy !req
842. - Don't give me that
supernatural shit!Copy !req
843. You just didn't do your job!Copy !req
844. - No!Copy !req
845. - Willie, I'm giving
you one more chance.Copy !req
846. If you blow this one,
I'll knock your assCopy !req
847. in the middle of next week andCopy !req
848. be ready for you again Saturday.Copy !req
849. You understand?Copy !req
850. - Boss, I—Copy !req
851. - Don't but boss me, I
want his show stopped!Copy !req
852. - Oughta ask the book, you
just didn't do your job, boy!Copy !req
853. - We've gone too
far to turn around!Copy !req
854. - Leroy and Skillet
has gone too far.Copy !req
855. They want their
cake and eat it too.Copy !req
856. You know, thicker.Copy !req
857. - Well you know how
greedy they are.Copy !req
858. Plus they've always
been jealous of you,Copy !req
859. haven't they, Jimmy?Copy !req
860. - You know how it is,
hun, I ain't got timeCopy !req
861. to even think about
Skillet and Leroy.Copy !req
862. - I'm sorry I was late,
I just got off workCopy !req
863. and my piano player
couldn't make it,Copy !req
864. but I can sing acapella.Copy !req
865. - Damn, who in the
hell is that bitch?Copy !req
866. - She must be singing for Jimmy.Copy !req
867. - Singing for who?
- For you.Copy !req
868. - I ain't never see
that woman before.Copy !req
869. - Well she can't be
singing for Petey.Copy !req
870. - What's going on?Copy !req
871. What the shit is going on?Copy !req
872. - Better not (mumbles).Copy !req
873. - Petey, let go of the thing.Copy !req
874. - Who in there?Copy !req
875. - Petey, I told you that cane.Copy !req
876. - It's leading
me to the bathroom!Copy !req
877. Jimmy!Copy !req
878. Jimmy!Copy !req
879. A bomb!Copy !req
880. A bomb!Copy !req
881. - Take it outside,
take it outside.Copy !req
882. - Take it outside,
take it outside!Copy !req
883. - Hey, where's everybody going?Copy !req
884. Do I get the job?Copy !req
885. I got another number.Copy !req
886. - Get out of there, it's a bomb!Copy !req
887. Petey!Copy !req
888. Petey, are you all right?Copy !req
889. - Well damn, Petey,
look at that shit,Copy !req
890. them suckers are trying
to play for keeps!Copy !req
891. - Man, they tried to
blow up my damn joint!Copy !req
892. - Please give into 'em Petey,Copy !req
893. somebody is gonna get hurt.Copy !req
894. - We got to get
this shit straight!Copy !req
895. - Nell, go and get tickets
to Leroy and Skillet.Copy !req
896. - You damn right 'cause
I think we need to go.Copy !req
897. - What, Petey, are you crazy?Copy !req
898. Don't you know what
they'll do to you?Copy !req
899. - I'm gonna give them an openingCopy !req
900. that they will never forget!Copy !req
901. - Damn right!Copy !req
902. - Mister White! (laughing)Copy !req
903. - Good evening, boys.Copy !req
904. - Good
evening, Mr. White.Copy !req
905. - How you doing, sir?Copy !req
906. - Oh, this is my wife Joanne.Copy !req
907. And her sister Babs.Copy !req
908. - Good evening.Copy !req
909. - My my, she's more lovelier
than you ever described.Copy !req
910. - Right this way, folks.Copy !req
911. I got a front way table for ya.Copy !req
912. Right this way.Copy !req
913. - Hey man, don't I know
you from somewhere?Copy !req
914. - Hell no, man,
you don't know me.Copy !req
915. Jimmy, I'm so sick
and tired of theseCopy !req
916. Americans talking
about they know me,Copy !req
917. let's get the girls
and leave here.Copy !req
918. - No man, do not
be like that, man.Copy !req
919. We come to see a
show, why don't weCopy !req
920. go in and enjoy ourselves,
do not worry about it.Copy !req
921. - Very well, step aside, you
fat-faced son of a bitch.Copy !req
922. - Have a good evening, man.Copy !req
923. - Thank you.Copy !req
924. Thank you.Copy !req
925. You've been listening
to the soul soundsCopy !req
926. of Clive Maron and Her,
it is showtime now.Copy !req
927. So let's welcome to the floorCopy !req
928. two of the funniest
men in show business.Copy !req
929. None other than
Leroy and Skillet!Copy !req
930. - Ladies and gentlemen,
let me introduce to youCopy !req
931. the ones that made it
possible for me and SkilletCopy !req
932. to bring this big
show to you tonight.Copy !req
933. Seated right here in front of meCopy !req
934. IS none other than
Mr. And Mrs. WhiteCopy !req
935. and their beautiful guest,Copy !req
936. give 'em a great
round of applause!Copy !req
937. - Leroy!Copy !req
938. - Hey Skillet, what's going on?Copy !req
939. - I heard you were
smart, partner.Copy !req
940. - I am smart, Skillet.Copy !req
941. - You smart?Copy !req
942. - I'm smart, Skillet.Copy !req
943. - If you're so smart,
answer me this.Copy !req
944. - Answer you what?Copy !req
945. - If you have $23.18
in one pocket.Copy !req
946. - $23.18 in one pocket.Copy !req
947. - And $13.42 in
the other pocket.Copy !req
948. - $13.42 cents in
the other pocket.Copy !req
949. - What would you have?Copy !req
950. - I'd have on
somebody else's pants,Copy !req
951. they sure wouldn't be mine.Copy !req
952. - Do it now, Petey, do it now.Copy !req
953. - Uncross your legs
whitey, you gonna chokeCopy !req
954. your fool self to death.Copy !req
955. - Leroy!Copy !req
956. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
957. - I don't know, Skillet.Copy !req
958. I opened my mouth
and it just came out.Copy !req
959. - Sorry folks, I hope
you didn't get offended.Copy !req
960. My partner gets carried
away a little bit at a time.Copy !req
961. - Speaking of carrying away,Copy !req
962. they should carry
this bitch awayCopy !req
963. sitting on that
blue satin bed sheet.Copy !req
964. What's the matter, mama,Copy !req
965. you think a nigger don't know
a bed sheet when he see one?Copy !req
966. - Leroy!Copy !req
967. You gonna get us killed, man!Copy !req
968. - I really don't know
what's happening.Copy !req
969. - It's working,
Petey, it's working.Copy !req
970. - Sorry, folks.Copy !req
971. I hope we didn't put too muchCopy !req
972. water in your damn drinks.Copy !req
973. You assholes!Copy !req
974. Oh what am I saying?Copy !req
975. - Moving right along, folks.Copy !req
976. We'd like to bring
our next act to you.Copy !req
977. So let's meet and
greet Miss Tami Small.Copy !req
978. Come on, Skillet,
let's get outta here!Copy !req
979. - Petey, how did you
make that cane do that?Copy !req
980. - Tami, what the hell
happened to you up there?Copy !req
981. (distorted voice)
What happened?Copy !req
982. - Now I will fix
both of 'em for good!Copy !req
983. - What the hell's
going on out there?Copy !req
984. - I don't know.Copy !req
985. Sound like they're
tearing the place apart.Copy !req
986. - What's goin' on in there?Copy !req
987. Where's the key?Copy !req
988. Where is it?Copy !req
989. I don't know, I
can't find the key!Copy !req
990. - What's the matter, chump?Copy !req
991. Can't find your key?Copy !req
992. - You got it all wrong!Copy !req
993. No, no!Copy !req
994. - I'm gonna take you
apart piece by piece!Copy !req
995. Then I'm gonna kill you!Copy !req
996. Like you killed my brother!Copy !req
997. What's the matter, Willie?Copy !req
998. - Leroy!Copy !req
999. - What is it, Skillet?Copy !req
1000. - You should've
remembered what I told ya!Copy !req
1001. - What was that, Skillet?Copy !req
1002. - Money's the root of all evil!Copy !req
1003. - Well Skillet, it
look like they'veCopy !req
1004. been (mumbles) our root.Copy !req
1005. - Wait a minute!Copy !req
1006. Wait a minute, (mumbles)!Copy !req
1007. - That'll take care of them twoCopy !req
1008. big fat slobby son of a bitches.Copy !req
1009. - Right on, Petey, let's go.Copy !req
1010. - Oh Jimmy, where's Ted?Copy !req
1011. - Don't you die on me, man!Copy !req
1012. Don't you cheat me!Copy !req
1013. You (mumbles) don't
cheat me out of this!Copy !req
1014. Don't cheat me!Copy !req
1015. Don't cheat me!Copy !req
1016. - Ted!Copy !req
1017. It's over, it's over man.Copy !req
1018. Come on, come on, let's go.Copy !req
1019. It's over.Copy !req
1020. - Come on, Ted.Copy !req
1021. It's over.Copy !req
1022. - Well pet, what do you think?Copy !req
1023. Is he?Copy !req
1024. - Oh he's divinely sexy!Copy !req
1025. - And he's all yours, my pet.Copy !req
1026. Now we can make preparations
for your wedding.Copy !req
1027. - Oh Father, my joy is
as boundless as the sea.Copy !req
1028. And just as deep.Copy !req
1029. The both are infinite.Copy !req
1030. - Big Daddy, wait a
minute now, I have laboredCopy !req
1031. all day long cooking this
dinner over this stoveCopy !req
1032. and I had the kids waiting.Copy !req
1033. You mean you gonna walk
off and leave like that?Copy !req
1034. - I wanted to honey, but I gottaCopy !req
1035. make this meeting,
see you later.Copy !req
1036. - Hey baby, what's happening?Copy !req
1037. - Oh hi, hun.Copy !req
1038. - How you doing?Copy !req
1039. - I see what's happening,
I knew I'd catch youCopy !req
1040. over here with this
young woman in this car!Copy !req
1041. - Baby, please, wait a minute—Copy !req
1042. - Hell no, you couldn't
pay to wait a minute.Copy !req
1043. You ain't nothing
but a damn fool!Copy !req
1044. Out here fooling around
with these young women!Copy !req
1045. I knew I'd get you someday
and you're trapped!Copy !req
1046. - Let me explain
it to you, okay?Copy !req
1047. Baby please!Copy !req
1048. - Shut up talking to me!Copy !req
1049. - Come on, you don't
understand, let me—Copy !req
1050. - This is your last meeting!Copy !req
1051. - Wait!
(eerie tones)Copy !req
1052. - Don't kill him, ma'am!Copy !req
1053. I have one wish I will
grant you, what might it be?Copy !req
1054. - He's a dog, he's a damn dog.Copy !req
1055. Just turn him into a
little black puppy.Copy !req
1056. - That wish will be granted.Copy !req
1057. (twinkling)
- How did you do that?Copy !req
1058. - I got the power,
mama, that's how.Copy !req
1059. I got the power. (laughing)Copy !req
1060. - Thank you, mister.Copy !req
1061. Come on, sugar, mama gonna takeCopy !req
1062. you home and give
you some dinner.Copy !req
1063. Some dog food!Copy !req
1064. - Good morning miss,
can you tell meCopy !req
1065. where to find Mr. Wheatstraw,
Mr. Petey Wheatstraw?Copy !req
1066. - Here's not here right now,Copy !req
1067. but I'm his personal
secretary, can I help you?Copy !req
1068. - Not really.Copy !req
1069. I much prefer to
speak to him myself.Copy !req
1070. Do you have any idea
when he will be back?Copy !req
1071. - Later on this afternoon.Copy !req
1072. Are you sure I can't help you?Copy !req
1073. - Quite sure, young lady.Copy !req
1074. Quite sure.Copy !req
1075. You give him this
card and you tell himCopy !req
1076. to contact me right away.Copy !req
1077. - Bye.Copy !req
1078. - Don't ever do it
anymore, did you hear me?Copy !req
1079. You hear me?Copy !req
1080. For that I'm gonna comb
your nappy head for you!Copy !req
1081. - Hey Petey!Copy !req
1082. Look, I'll call you back, okay?Copy !req
1083. - Yes, Nell?Copy !req
1084. - A man came by here
looking for you.Copy !req
1085. - A man?Copy !req
1086. What was his name?Copy !req
1087. - Well he left his card.Copy !req
1088. It was right there, I don't
know what happened to it.Copy !req
1089. - Well what did he look like?Copy !req
1090. - A weirdo.Copy !req
1091. - Shit, that's all
I've been runningCopy !req
1092. into since I've been
In here, is weirdos,Copy !req
1093. one after another.Copy !req
1094. - Well this one
was really strange,Copy !req
1095. he wouldn't tell
me what he wanted.Copy !req
1096. - Nell, I've got to
get my act togetherCopy !req
1097. for the opening, I'm going
upstairs and rehearse.Copy !req
1098. I don't want to see anyone.Copy !req
1099. - Well I'll make sure
you are not disturbed.Copy !req
1100. - Thanks Nell.Copy !req
1101. - You're welcome.Copy !req
1102. - Good afternoon, Petey,
there's no need for that.Copy !req
1103. It's me.Copy !req
1104. Lou.Copy !req
1105. - Oh Lou.Copy !req
1106. How have you been?Copy !req
1107. - I've been fine, Petey.Copy !req
1108. I saw your heroic act today.Copy !req
1109. The little boy.Copy !req
1110. He was mine you know.Copy !req
1111. You shouldn't use
that cane so loosely.Copy !req
1112. - Well it was lying
around doing nothing,Copy !req
1113. so I thought I would
put it to some use.Copy !req
1114. - You haven't forgotten
our deal, have you Petey?Copy !req
1115. I've kept up my end of the
bargain, now it's your turn.Copy !req
1116. - I wouldn't miss
it for the world.Copy !req
1117. I'm looking forward to it.Copy !req
1118. - Good.Copy !req
1119. Then prepare yourself
for the wedding.Copy !req
1120. Tomorrow.Copy !req
1121. - Why so soon?Copy !req
1122. - I came to your aid soon.Copy !req
1123. Don't you think one good
deed deserves another?Copy !req
1124. - Where's this wedding
gonna take place?Copy !req
1125. - Down there of course.Copy !req
1126. Incidentally, you
can give me the cane.Copy !req
1127. - I need this cane
for another day.Copy !req
1128. - Okay, Petey.Copy !req
1129. I suppose it'll be all right.Copy !req
1130. Just as long as
you don't interfereCopy !req
1131. with any of my actions.Copy !req
1132. - Don't have to worry.Copy !req
1133. I won't give you any trouble.Copy !req
1134. - Very good.Copy !req
1135. I'll pick you up tomorrow
night about 11:30.Copy !req
1136. - I'll be waiting, Lou.Copy !req
1137. Or should I say Father?Copy !req
1138. - It doesn't matter!Copy !req
1139. Just marry her so I can rest.Copy !req
1140. Goodbye, Petey.Copy !req
1141. - Goodbye, Father.Copy !req
1142. - Petey, how did that
man get in there?Copy !req
1143. I've been right here all day.Copy !req
1144. - Just call Jimmy and
get him on the phone,Copy !req
1145. I'll explain later.Copy !req
1146. Look like the shit
is gonna hit the fan.Copy !req
1147. - Petey, who was that man?Copy !req
1148. - That's Lucifer,
ol' Satan himself.Copy !req
1149. - (gasps) I knew it!Copy !req
1150. I could feel something
strange about him.Copy !req
1151. Petey, what are you gonna do?Copy !req
1152. - Nell don't ask so many
questions, do as I say.Copy !req
1153. Call Jimmy right away.Copy !req
1154. - Okay, all right.Copy !req
1155. - Jimmy, I got to find a wayCopy !req
1156. to keep from marrying
this ugly bitch.Copy !req
1157. This ho is so ugly she can scareCopy !req
1158. a hungry bulldog off the
back of a meat truck.Copy !req
1159. - Call Lucifer up and tell himCopy !req
1160. you got the claps and you wannaCopy !req
1161. take a few years to
clear your system up.Copy !req
1162. - Man, that's not
a few year affair,Copy !req
1163. that's only a few day affair.Copy !req
1164. - Well hell, tell him you
got the Alabama claps.Copy !req
1165. - 1 got it, Nell,
give me the phone.Copy !req
1166. But the bitch is
still ugly enoughCopy !req
1167. to break daylight with her fist.Copy !req
1168. - Now what you fixin' to do?Copy !req
1169. - I'm gonna call Lucifer.Copy !req
1170. - No need to call him, he
know he got an ugly bitch.Copy !req
1171. - Hello?Copy !req
1172. - Lou, listen.Copy !req
1173. I've got a question to ask you.Copy !req
1174. Yes, I'd like to go into
meditation before my wedding.Copy !req
1175. - Meditation?Copy !req
1176. What do you mean meditation?Copy !req
1177. - Well my father was a
guru and he said to meCopy !req
1178. "Son, my only son,"
says "it would be niceCopy !req
1179. “If you would meditate
before your wedding.”Copy !req
1180. - Do you have to?Copy !req
1181. - Yes, old Father
would like it, Lou.Copy !req
1182. - Very well.Copy !req
1183. Just as long as you are there.Copy !req
1184. - I'll be there, but Lou,Copy !req
1185. remember I'll be
in deep meditation.Copy !req
1186. Bye, Father.Copy !req
1187. - Meditation?Copy !req
1188. Man, you don't know
about no damn meditation!Copy !req
1189. - Jimmy,
you know you usedCopy !req
1190. to be good at making things.Copy !req
1191. - Yeah, so what's that mean?Copy !req
1192. - I want you to make a
mask that looks like me.Copy !req
1193. And we'll go and get a winoCopy !req
1194. and we'll dope that
sucker up not with wine,Copy !req
1195. but with the heavy shit.Copy !req
1196. We'll put that mask on him andCopy !req
1197. when Lou comes to pick me
up we'll let him take him.Copy !req
1198. And by the time he
find out it ain't me,Copy !req
1199. we'll be all the
way across country.Copy !req
1200. - Now where are you
gonna find a wino?Copy !req
1201. - Down at the Dewdrop Inn.Copy !req
1202. - If you go down there dressed
like that you'll drop in.Copy !req
1203. - There one
is over there, Jimmy.Copy !req
1204. - Where?Copy !req
1205. - You see
him right there.Copy !req
1206. - Man look at that asshole,Copy !req
1207. don't you know he too fat?Copy !req
1208. - You right, he is all
butt and gut, but he'll do.Copy !req
1209. Let's dope up that son of a gunCopy !req
1210. and carry him to ol' Lou.Copy !req
1211. - Well give me the shit
then, let me get him ready.Copy !req
1212. When I get him set
up, I want y'allCopy !req
1213. to come right out
there soon as I get himCopy !req
1214. to turn around and do
it to him, you hear?Copy !req
1215. Get him ready.Copy !req
1216. What's happening, Uncle Jake?Copy !req
1217. I haven't seen you
in three years.Copy !req
1218. Man I've been back
in town a week,Copy !req
1219. I've been looking
for, where you been?Copy !req
1220. - I'm not your Uncle Jake!Copy !req
1221. - You'll be my uncle
now, you fat rascal,Copy !req
1222. you and anything else
I want you to be.Copy !req
1223. - Damn, looks
just like Petey!Copy !req
1224. - How long will this
mask last, Jimmy?Copy !req
1225. - At least a couple days.Copy !req
1226. - Good.Copy !req
1227. I'll tell my Father
not to disturbCopy !req
1228. my meditation for
a couple of weeks.Copy !req
1229. - What about y'alls honeymoon?Copy !req
1230. - Yeah, suppose the ugly broadCopy !req
1231. want some and she
started playingCopy !req
1232. around with that damn
wino and nothing happens?Copy !req
1233. - Then she'll know how I feel.Copy !req
1234. - Don't worry, don't worry.Copy !req
1235. She will never know
the difference.Copy !req
1236. - But Petey, suppose
Lucifer finds outCopy !req
1237. we done crossed him, man you
know the shit's gonna fly.Copy !req
1238. - Listen, I'd rather
for the shit to flyCopy !req
1239. than for me to have to
marry that ugly bitch.Copy !req
1240. - But you know that weird
dude don't take no shit.Copy !req
1241. - Just remember one thing.Copy !req
1242. - What's that?Copy !req
1243. - I've got his
cane and that makesCopy !req
1244. me just as powerful as he.Copy !req
1245. - There it is, it's finished.Copy !req
1246. - All right, let's put it on
the wino and see how it fits.Copy !req
1247. - Well Petey, there you
lay and here you stand.Copy !req
1248. But if ol' Lucifer find out,Copy !req
1249. I'm gonna tell you there'll
be some shit in the sand.Copy !req
1250. - It's weird.Copy !req
1251. Petey, he looks just like you.Copy !req
1252. - Well kiss my Aunt Rhoda's ass.Copy !req
1253. (mumbles) resemble me.Copy !req
1254. I tell you what we
do, call my FatherCopy !req
1255. and tell him that I am
ready to be picked up.Copy !req
1256. - Where am I supposed
to sleep tonight?Copy !req
1257. - Baby, stay here, ain't
nothing but a wino,Copy !req
1258. he'll be out for
two, three days.Copy !req
1259. - Petey, I'm not staying
here with no derelict.Copy !req
1260. - I'll tell you what, we'll rentCopy !req
1261. a motel room for the night.Copy !req
1262. - Good.Copy !req
1263. - Petey, I still
think you oughtaCopy !req
1264. marry the ugly old
rascal and figure how toCopy !req
1265. get you a divorce when
you get down in hell.Copy !req
1266. - Don't worry about
it, it'll work.Copy !req
1267. Let's cover the wino up and
get the hell outta here.Copy !req
1268. - Damn, time sure is going
slow, it's only three o'clock.Copy !req
1269. I wish we could get
this shit over with,Copy !req
1270. this is worrying
the hell out of me.Copy !req
1271. - Why, why did you
have to meet himCopy !req
1272. here in my place man?Copy !req
1273. - Oh Petey, I'm so scared.Copy !req
1274. I mean what if
something goes wrong?Copy !req
1275. We may never see
each other again.Copy !req
1276. - Now don't worry about it.Copy !req
1277. Everything's gonna
be all right, baby.Copy !req
1278. - (gasps) Petey, it's him.Copy !req
1279. - Uh oh!Copy !req
1280. - Don't worry about it.Copy !req
1281. Everybody just smile.Copy !req
1282. - Good afternoon,
Petey and friends.Copy !req
1283. - Good afternoon, Father.Copy !req
1284. - Ah, Petey, I feel
great, just great!Copy !req
1285. - Father, why are
you here so soon?Copy !req
1286. I thought you were coming downCopy !req
1287. about 11 o'clock tonight?Copy !req
1288. - Oh Petey, I came by to
give you a pre-wedding gift.Copy !req
1289. If your friends will
excuse you for awhile.Copy !req
1290. - I'm going away with my
Father for a little while.Copy !req
1291. I want y'all to take
care of the fort.Copy !req
1292. Can you dig it?Copy !req
1293. Father!Copy !req
1294. - I hope I'll see you later.Copy !req
1295. - Wait a minute, man, where
in the hell are we going?Copy !req
1296. - My, you're quite edgy.Copy !req
1297. Pre-wedding jitters, I suppose.Copy !req
1298. - I wanna know about this gift
you've been telling me about.Copy !req
1299. - It's just up
the street, Petey.Copy !req
1300. Come along!Copy !req
1301. - Man, if you've
got to run for itCopy !req
1302. it must be a groovy situation.Copy !req
1303. - That's the spirit!Copy !req
1304. - Oh Father, why you
bringing me here?Copy !req
1305. Look like this place
been closed for years.Copy !req
1306. - Enter, my son.Copy !req
1307. Go go go go.Copy !req
1308. - Hm Mm mm? (laughing)Copy !req
1309. - Come on, that's the spirit.Copy !req
1310. Back, back!Copy !req
1311. Back back back!Copy !req
1312. - Damn, father!Copy !req
1313. You having trouble
trying to findCopy !req
1314. a husband for your daughter.Copy !req
1315. You ain't gonna never
find a wife for your son.Copy !req
1316. - That's not my son.Copy !req
1317. Your very own
bachelor party, Petey.Copy !req
1318. - Father, there's
no one here but us.Copy !req
1319. But father!Copy !req
1320. How in the world?Copy !req
1321. - When I was
young, I always wanted one.Copy !req
1322. Never did though.Copy !req
1323. Have fun, Petey.Copy !req
1324. - Petey.Copy !req
1325. - Petey.Copy !req
1326. - Petey.Copy !req
1327. - He's indeed strong.Copy !req
1328. - I'll never forget
this raggedy old shack.Copy !req
1329. If I ever get a chance
I'll damn sure come back.Copy !req
1330. A gift from my Father
that's against the law,Copy !req
1331. but you girls will always
remember ol' Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
1332. - Where in the hell is Petey?Copy !req
1333. He should've been
here hours ago.Copy !req
1334. - What time is it, Jimmy?Copy !req
1335. - It's almost 11 o'clock, Nell.Copy !req
1336. I'm supposed to be calling
the man in a few minutes.Copy !req
1337. Petey, where in the
hell have you been?Copy !req
1338. Supposed to being pick
you up in a few minutes.Copy !req
1339. - Partying hardy,
is everything ready?Copy !req
1340. - Take a look at yourself.Copy !req
1341. - Good, when they
come to pick me upCopy !req
1342. I want y'all to act very
sad that I'm leaving.Copy !req
1343. And when they leave, let's
meet over at Nell's place.Copy !req
1344. - Okay.Copy !req
1345. - Hey hey, they're here,
they coming in right now!Copy !req
1346. - The time has arrived.Copy !req
1347. - Oh Petey.Copy !req
1348. - Petey Wheatstraw
must come with us.Copy !req
1349. - He's waiting, sir.Copy !req
1350. But be very careful
with him becauseCopy !req
1351. you do not want to disturb
his deep meditation.Copy !req
1352. - Goodbye, Petey, we're
gonna miss you so much!Copy !req
1353. - We've been had,Copy !req
1354. my dear.Copy !req
1355. How could he do that?Copy !req
1356. Of course, he still
has that cane.Copy !req
1357. Get that cane and
bring that wretchedCopy !req
1358. Petey Wheatstraw to me!Copy !req
1359. - I knew it, I knew it, Petey,Copy !req
1360. I told you it wasn't gonna work!Copy !req
1361. - Oh my apartment
must be a wreck!Copy !req
1362. Petey, maybe you
should've married her.Copy !req
1363. - Nell, you got be sick!Copy !req
1364. - Petey, Petey, I told
you it wouldn't work!Copy !req
1365. They're out to get me, I
don't know what we gonna do!Copy !req
1366. - Oh Petey, they were horrible!Copy !req
1367. - Shit, I was scared to death!Copy !req
1368. - The cane is the
strength, as long asCopy !req
1369. we can keep it, we
have nothing to fear!Copy !req
1370. - Then what we supposed to
do, live together forever?Copy !req
1371. - The cane, we can keep it untilCopy !req
1372. we can get out of town,
it will protect us.Copy !req
1373. Let's make it, we gonna catch
the first thing smoking.Copy !req
1374. - I have been made
a complete fool of.Copy !req
1375. Now retribution is
due Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
1376. - Bring the dirty dog to me!Copy !req
1377. I'll fix his ass!Copy !req
1378. - You are my chosen disciples.Copy !req
1379. The prides of my kingdom.Copy !req
1380. Now go...Copy !req
1381. and bring Petey
Wheatstraw to me.Copy !req
1382. - Can we all please
hurry up, we late,Copy !req
1383. we gotta catch the damn plane!Copy !req
1384. - Jimmy, we're hurrying
as fast as we can,Copy !req
1385. Petey, what about my
apartment and all my things?Copy !req
1386. - To hell with this apartment!Copy !req
1387. We've got to make it,
let's get out of here!Copy !req
1388. - Petey, look out!Copy !req
1389. Ted!Copy !req
1390. - Petey, let's get
the hell outta here!Copy !req
1391. - What's going on?Copy !req
1392. - Come on here, you ol—Copy !req
1393. - Petey, wait!Copy !req
1394. - Forget that stuff, Nell!Copy !req
1395. - I gotta get my stuff.Copy !req
1396. - Come on!
- It costs money!Copy !req
1397. - Dammit!Copy !req
1398. - Petey!Copy !req
1399. Jimmy, wait!Copy !req
1400. - Can't wait, come on!Copy !req
1401. - I'm trying, I'm outta breath!Copy !req
1402. - Come on and sit down
for a minute and rest.Copy !req
1403. - Petey, what's happening?Copy !req
1404. Now we gotta do something.Copy !req
1405. Oh my God!Copy !req
1406. Oh damn, Petey!Copy !req
1407. - Petey Wheatstraw!Copy !req
1408. Stop fighting at once,
or the woman dies!Copy !req
1409. - Petey!Copy !req
1410. Petey, please help me!Copy !req
1411. - Bargain
time again, Petey!Copy !req
1412. - Come on, y'all.Copy !req
1413. - Just you, Petey!Copy !req
1414. And bring my cane with you!Copy !req
1415. - Jimmy, go and get your car.Copy !req
1416. Park it out front.Copy !req
1417. I'll be down in a minute.Copy !req
1418. - I trusted you,
Petey Wheatstraw.Copy !req
1419. And you made a fool of me.Copy !req
1420. I could kill you, Petey!Copy !req
1421. And feel nothing.Copy !req
1422. But I have a better idea.Copy !req
1423. You will marry my daughter
and I will see to itCopy !req
1424. that she makes every breath
you draw a prayer for death!Copy !req
1425. Forever!Copy !req
1426. - What about Nell?Copy !req
1427. - I have no use for
her, she may go.Copy !req
1428. Seize him!Copy !req
1429. Bind him!Copy !req
1430. Hold him, you idiots!Copy !req
1431. - Nell, where the hell is Petey?Copy !req
1432. - They still got him up there.Copy !req
1433. Jimmy, you gotta do something,
now we gotta help him,Copy !req
1434. we gotta go up
there or something.Copy !req
1435. - I'm not going up there.Copy !req
1436. He told me stay in the car,Copy !req
1437. I'm not going up there Nell, no.Copy !req
1438. - Hold him!Copy !req
1439. - Jimmy.Copy !req
1440. - What?Copy !req
1441. - Can you take me
home for a minute?Copy !req
1442. - Hell no!Copy !req
1443. - Jimmy, look, I
gotta get my money,Copy !req
1444. I gotta get my
makeup, my underwear,Copy !req
1445. I need my things!Copy !req
1446. - No, no!Copy !req
1447. I'm not going nowhere,
I'm sitting rightCopy !req
1448. here 'till Petey come.Copy !req
1449. - Oh Jimmy,
it's just rightCopy !req
1450. up the street, we'll
make it back in time.Copy !req
1451. - Aw shit, Ted!
- Please Jimmy, please!Copy !req
1452. - Okay.Copy !req
1453. - Petey!Copy !req
1454. Petey!Copy !req
1455. Petey, it's me, wait!Copy !req
1456. Wait, Petey, we're friends.Copy !req
1457. I trusted you, Petey.Copy !req
1458. You must trust me!Copy !req
1459. - You can't trust the Devil!Copy !req
1460. Any fool knows that!Copy !req
1461. Daniel Webster tricked youCopy !req
1462. and you still brought
your little ass back.Copy !req
1463. This time it's over!Copy !req
1464. No more heartache and pain.Copy !req
1465. I'm gonna destroy your ass!Copy !req
1466. With your own walking cane.Copy !req
1467. - No, Petey!Copy !req
1468. No, Petey, no, no!Copy !req
1469. No!Copy !req
1470. No!Copy !req
1471. No!Copy !req
1472. No!Copy !req
1473. - There he is,
there he is, there's Petey!Copy !req
1474. - Yeah I
knew it, I told youCopy !req
1475. we shouldn't have left
in the first place.Copy !req
1476. Where's he going?Copy !req
1477. - It's over, it's over!Copy !req
1478. - He mistook that as my car!
- Oh Jimmy, that's him!Copy !req
1479. - Who?Copy !req
1480. - I killed the Devil, he's dead!Copy !req
1481. - That's the spirit, my son!Copy !req
1482. - No, Petey, no!Copy !req
1483. - This door's
locked, I can't get—Copy !req
1484. - It won't open!
- Petey!Copy !req
1485. - How you been, Petey?Copy !req
1486. - Didn't think you'd ever
see us again, huh Petey?Copy !req
1487. - Now you may kiss the bride!Copy !req