1. Eat up!
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2. One day you'll never see me again.
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3. That's right, Charlie.
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4. The farm life may be it for you,
but it sure ain't for me.
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5. I'm special.
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6. Mama's gonna feel real stupid
when she finds out, won't she?
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7. One day, the whole world's
gonna know my name.
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8. You agree, don't you, Mary?
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9. Oh. Why, thank you.
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10. I do love a good audience.
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11. Y'all see me for who I really am.
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12. A star.
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13. What are you doing in here, Mr. Goose?
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14. Theda!
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15. Go on, girl.
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16. Take it.
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17. You aren't to indulge
in any more such foolishness.
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18. It's just dancing, Mama.
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19. It's selfish, is what it is.
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20. With all the farmhands gone, I can't
do everything around here myself.
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21. I help.
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22. Anything for me in the post today?
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23. No.
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24. It says the Allies
have taken control of France.
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25. You can read it after supper.
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26. But, Mama, this could mean
the end of the war!
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27. Do as I ask, Pearl.
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28. I don't want to hear
about any more dead Germans tonight.
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29. Supper's ready, Daddy.
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30. Bless us, o' Lord, and these Thy gifts
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31. which we are about to receive
from Thy bounty
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32. through Christ our Lord. Amen.
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33. Amen.
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34. "My precious Pearl,
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35. It feels as if it has been
an eternity without you.
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36. All we do is walk, it seems.
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37. I never know if we'll get
to where they say we're going.
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38. They have us chew on bouillon cubes
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39. so we don't notice
the pains in our feet.
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40. I find it most frightening
at night in the trenches.
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41. The mortar shells are deafening.
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42. Many soldiers have
gone mad with the fear.
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43. Carnage from the gas has shown me
things I won't soon forget,
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44. and thinking of you
has been my only reprieve.
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45. I will always be proud to serve my
country,
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46. but one thing this war has made clear
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47. is that I cannot wait to return home
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48. and begin our life together.
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49. I never want to be away from you again.
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50. Till death do us part.
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51. Your loving husband, Howard."
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52. I'll go to town tomorrow.
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53. Pick up more medicine.
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54. Which means I get
to stop by the pictures.
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55. Just don't tell Mama.
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56. They show all the best dancers
at the pictures.
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57. I could be on the line
with those girls one day.
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58. I know I could.
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59. Pearl.
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60. I didn't want to waste the hot water.
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61. The money for his medicine
is on the kitchen table.
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62. Remember to cover your face.
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63. And don't linger close to anyone.
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64. Papers are warning
of a lethal resurgence.
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65. God forbid sickness returns to our home.
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66. The time is now...
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67. Two bits, please.
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68. Did you enjoy the picture?
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69. Cigarette?
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70. Oh, go on. I don't have the bug.
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71. You like the movies?
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72. I like dancing.
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73. Oh, a future Tiller girl.
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74. I can see it now.
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75. I wish.
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76. Why not? You're pretty enough.
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77. On account of a husband, I gather?
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78. He's overseas,
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79. but my father's infirmed,
so I have to help at home.
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80. I'm sorry to hear that.
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81. You want to come watch the second show?
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82. Free admission.
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83. I'm the projectionist.
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84. I need to get going.
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85. Mama's expecting me,
but I appreciate the, um...
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86. Stay there for just one minute,
would you?
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87. Okay.
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88. From what you just saw.
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89. Aren't you showing it again?
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90. Ah, sure, but it's only one frame.
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91. Nobody will notice once
I splice it back together.
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92. You know, caring for your family
during these times is admirable.
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93. You ought to take pride in that,
but don't forget to live your life, too.
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94. I wouldn't mind seeing you
up on that screen one day, missus...
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95. Pearl.
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96. Well, if you come back,
knock on this door.
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97. I'm always here, and, well, I can run
the pictures as much as I like.
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98. Thank you. I will.
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99. May I have this dance?
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100. I'm married!
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101. What took you so long?
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102. It's a far ride, Mama.
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103. What is on your head?
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104. Found it along the road.
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105. Do not bring it inside.
It may be covered in germs.
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106. Wash your hair. If you're lucky,
it's only full of lice.
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107. When you finish,
your father needs changing.
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108. Don't let him sit in his mess.
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109. I saw a new picture today.
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110. You'd have liked it.
The girls were all flawless.
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111. There's no room for even the tiniest
lack of precision in a troupe like that.
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112. It takes absolute perfection.
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113. What a charmed life it must be
to star in the movies.
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114. Are you still in there?
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115. Bless us, o' Lord, and these Thy gifts
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116. which we are about to receive
from Thy bounty
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117. through Christ our Lord. Amen.
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118. Amen.
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119. Where is the rest of
the money I lent you?
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120. - There was none.
- I can count, Pearl.
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121. There are eight cents missing.
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122. I may have gotten some
hard candy for the trip home.
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123. That is enough, then.
You ate the candy, that was your supper.
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124. The food I worked hard
to prepare alone is not.
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125. But, Mama, I rode all that way.
I'm starving.
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126. You may have what's left of it
in the morning.
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127. - Where are you going?
- To bed!
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128. I did not excuse you from the table.
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129. I know that.
And I am careful.
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130. Good.
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131. Please, Lord,
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132. make me the biggest star
the world has ever known,
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133. so that I may get far,
far away from this place.
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134. Amen.
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135. Afternoon, Pearl!
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136. Hi, Mitsy! I like your dress.
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137. Oh, thank you.
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138. It feels wonderful to finally be able
to don something pretty again.
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139. It's the first time
we've left home in weeks.
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140. Mother is so afraid of getting ill.
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141. Mama, too.
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142. Well, we were a bit worried about the
both of you being out here all alone,
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143. so we brought some food.
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144. - That's very kind.
- How have you been getting on?
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145. Any new letters from Howard?
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146. - Uh-uh.
- Oh, well...
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147. Mother has been riddled with worry.
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148. They say no news is good news, though.
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149. If only his pride hadn't gotten him
involved in this dreadful war.
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150. You know we had a doctor
willing to declare him ineligible?
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151. Anyone would've taken that opportunity.
Not Howard!
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152. First, he runs off to become a farmer.
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153. Now, the army.
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154. The lengths my brother will go
to just to spite his father.
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155. All this isolation has been enough
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156. to make one mad, hasn't it?
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157. It really has.
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158. No, we don't accept charity.
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159. Oh, for God's sake, Ruth.
It's just a pig.
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160. Can I share a secret with you, Pearl?
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161. Mother would throttle me
if she knew I was planning on attending.
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162. But there's a dance audition this Saturday
at our church for a Christmas chorus line
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163. to bring merriment to folks throughout
the state during the holidays.
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164. Word is,
they're putting together a troupe
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165. and will be touring seven
different cities before the year ends.
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166. Don't that sound exciting?
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167. - I would love so much to be a part of it.
- So would I.
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168. We should go together then.
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169. But you can't tell a soul.
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170. I would never.
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171. Splendid. It'll be our secret.
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172. Mitsy!
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173. I better skedaddle. We got three
more pigs to drop off this afternoon.
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174. - Saturday at 11:00.
- Okay.
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175. Sister-in-laws have to stick
together, right?
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176. Mitsy!
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177. - Time to go!
- See you later, Pearl.
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178. Bye, Mitsy!
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179. Charlie, this could be it.
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180. Pearl?
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181. Pearl!
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182. Well,
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183. I didn't expect
to see you again this soon.
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184. Have a seat.
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185. I can't believe you get to see
the pictures every day for free.
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186. Yeah, not a bad gig, huh?
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187. Thank you.
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188. So, to what do I owe this pleasure?
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189. I've been thinking a lot about
what you said to me the other day,
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190. about not forgetting to live
my life, and, well,
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191. there's a dance audition
coming up at the church.
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192. Oh, I like the sound of that.
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193. So do I...
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194. but I've never really danced
in front of anyone before.
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195. What if I'm not perfect?
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196. You can do anything
if you want it bad enough.
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197. I want it.
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198. Then don't let anything
stand in your way.
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199. What would you like to see?
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200. Palace follies.
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201. Oh, come on. You saw that already.
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202. How about something different tonight?
How about...
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203. How about a film nobody else has seen?
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204. Okay.
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205. I picked this one up while I was
in the service in France.
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206. Do you live in here?
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207. I lay my head on that pillow
from time to time,
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208. but I wouldn't say I live
anywhere in particular.
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209. I'm what more civilized people
refer to as bohemian.
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210. I don't know what that is.
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211. It means I can pack up
and leave whenever I want to.
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212. Sounds like a dream.
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213. Just as long as I can
keep from waking up.
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214. - What is this?
- Just watch.
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215. Never seen anything
like that before now, have you?
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216. There are all kinds of underground
stag films like this out there.
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217. - Is it legal?
- Doing it, yeah.
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218. Filming it, no.
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219. Not here, anyway. It will be eventually.
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220. People would pay an arm
and a leg to see this.
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221. Pictures like this are going
to revolutionize the industry
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222. and I, for one,
plan on capitalizing early.
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223. It's reality.
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224. There's no denying
we all share a fascination
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225. in seeing people as they truly are.
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226. I don't like reality.
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227. Where I live, I mean.
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228. So leave.
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229. It's not that easy.
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230. Well, sure it is. There's a road
right out front there
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231. that'll take you
all the way to New York City.
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232. One day my mother and father
will be gone.
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233. - I can do what I want then.
- What if that's too late?
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234. The fact and truth of the matter is,
Pearl, you only get one take at this life.
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235. And if you don't make the most of it
when you're young,
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236. you don't get a second chance.
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237. If only they would just die...
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238. Pardon?
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239. Nothing.
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240. It's real nice to be able to talk
to someone for a change.
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241. Been cooped up on that farm for so long,
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242. sometimes I worry that maybe
I'm not the same as other people.
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243. Why would you ever want to be
like everybody else?
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244. I don't know.
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245. Sometimes it just seems
more peaceful, I guess.
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246. Did you mean what you said?
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247. About wanting to see
me up on that screen?
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248. Sure, I did.
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249. I'd do anything to be up there.
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250. Well, then, you ought to go overseas
when this pandemic ends.
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251. That's what I'm doing.
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252. The arts are so much
more alive in Europe.
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253. You can be whoever you want to be there.
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254. Really?
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255. You could even be in pictures like this.
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256. I know I'd watch you.
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257. I should go now.
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258. Thank you.
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259. What for?
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260. For seeing me tonight.
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261. What are you staring at?
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262. Theda!
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263. I'm leaving soon.
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264. I can't stay here any longer.
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265. Howard was supposed to take me away.
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266. It'd be easier for me if I didn't feel
like I was abandoning you.
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267. You understand that?
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268. I love you, Daddy,
but this is no way to live.
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269. Pearl?
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270. What are you doing?
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271. Talking with Daddy.
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272. We need to get him back to the house.
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273. Why do you hate me, Mama?
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274. I only want what's best.
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275. When do I get what I want?
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276. One day you'll understand that getting
what you want isn't what's important.
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277. Making the most of what you have is.
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278. Life rarely turns out how you expect.
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279. You need to be prepared for that
if you ever want to be happy.
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280. Come back inside.
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281. Where are you?
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282. Stop staring at me.
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283. How'd you find that?
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284. I am not blind
to what goes on around here.
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285. Take your dinner.
Stay in the bunkhouse.
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286. But it's freezing out there!
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287. You should've thought of that
before putting me at risk.
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288. Isolate yourself
until we know you're not ill.
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289. That is what's right.
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290. There's a dance
audition in town tomorrow.
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291. - I'm going to it.
- No, you're not.
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292. - Yes, I am.
- Why?
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293. Find out if I'm good enough.
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294. Good enough for what, Pearl?
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295. Something more than this.
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296. Where does all this ungratefulness
stem from?
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297. How is it you find our life
so beneath you?
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298. You've always had a roof over your head,
food in your belly.
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299. Do you not think that came at
great sacrifice from your father and I?
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300. Or do you think we are beneath you, too?
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301. If I'm meant to live out
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302. the rest of my days with you
and Daddy on this farm,
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303. then so be it, but I'm only young once.
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304. If I go to this audition
and I don't get picked,
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305. then I'll come home and I'll never speak
of it again, I swear.
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306. But I have to know that I tried or I'm
gonna regret it for the rest of my life.
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307. Please, Mama! You have no idea
what I'm capable of!
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308. Oh, yes, I do.
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309. I've seen the things
you've done in private,
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310. when you believe no one is watching.
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311. You think others won't notice?
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312. You can't keep your true self
hidden forever, Pearl.
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313. They will notice eventually,
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314. and they will be frightened,
just as I am.
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315. - You're wrong.
- Am I?
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316. Then what a fine woman
you hope to become,
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317. leaving your mother alone to rot
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318. so you can dance
with a bunch of city whores.
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319. Let alone the illness you may
contract and spread.
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320. You've seen what it does to your father.
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321. That's what you want
for yourself and others?
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322. And maybe that is what you wish for me.
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323. - Of course not.
- Stop lying!
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324. I can't stand the sound of it anymore!
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325. It's almost as abhorrent
as your sinful behavior!
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326. You are not well, Pearl!
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327. It's only a matter of time
before you hurt someone else.
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328. Malevolence is festering in you,
I see it.
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329. And I will not, in good conscience,
let you leave this farm again.
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330. - You can't stop me.
- Oh, yes, I can.
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331. You don't want to know
what I could do to you.
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332. I shoulder a burden
you will never understand,
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333. spend my days feeding and wiping the
snot off the face of the man I married.
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334. You dare sit there
and talk to me about regret?
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335. I was supposed to be his wife,
not his mother!
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336. Don't you ever speak that way
to me again! Do you hear me?
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337. - I'm sorry.
- No! You're not!
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338. Or you would stop all this!
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339. Here! Take it!
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340. That's what you really desire, isn't it?
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341. Perhaps I should kill him for you?
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342. That way you don't have
to care for him any longer.
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343. Would that suit
your selfish dreams better?
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344. Then we can both go
to the dance audition!
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345. Your husband is gone. So is mine.
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346. Why should we be saddled with caring
for them or the work of this farm?
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347. What about us getting what we want?
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348. I won't suffer for you any longer.
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349. You want to leave? Go.
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350. But when you fail...
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351. and you will fail...
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352. I want you to remember
what it feels like
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353. because that's how I feel
every time I look at you.
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354. Nearly everything I ever had
has been taken from me, Pearl.
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355. What more do you want?
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356. I just don't want to end up
like you, is all.
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357. I hate you!
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358. You harlot!
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359. I won't let you flaunt
your arrogance in my face!
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360. - You are not better than me!
- Yes, I am!
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361. I'm going to be a star!
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362. The whole world is
going to know my name!
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363. Where are you going?
It's not even 6:00 A.M. yet.
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364. I have to practice my routine.
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365. I need to be perfect
for my audition today.
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366. You still think I'm pretty enough?
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367. Oh, not much has changed
in the last 24 hours.
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368. Yes, it has.
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369. Oh. You forgot this last time.
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370. I'm glad you came back.
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371. So am I.
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372. Let me at least drive you home.
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373. Somebody you know?
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374. I'm not really sure.
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375. Well...
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376. It's hard to know who anyone is nowadays
with all these masks people are wearing.
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377. Wait here a minute.
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378. Daddy, I'm so sorry.
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379. I'm going to get you cleaned up real
soon, okay? I just have a guest right now.
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380. Okay, come in!
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381. This is my father.
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382. Pleased to meet you, sir.
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383. Want to go up to my bedroom now?
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384. I want off this farm forever.
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385. I don't know. It doesn't seem so bad.
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386. It is.
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387. What was that?
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388. Nothing.
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389. Tell me more about Europe.
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390. When can we go?
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391. - Don't you think you should go check?
- No.
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392. All right, I'm sorry. Whatever that is,
we can't just ignore it.
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393. It could be your father,
for Christ's sake.
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394. It's not my father.
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395. Please don't go.
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396. What's the matter with you?
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397. Nothing.
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398. It's our dog.
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399. She made a mess in the kitchen while I
was away, so I put her in the root cellar.
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400. I want to show you something.
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401. That's Charlie!
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402. She's always hungry.
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403. We can't afford to feed her
like we used to.
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404. And over here, this is Mary.
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405. Ain't she a dish?
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406. This is Francis.
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407. They're my best audience.
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408. I named each of them after
my favorite picture stars.
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409. I've put on so many shows
for them over the years.
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410. It'll be sad to say goodbye,
but like they say,
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411. "If you're not moving forward in show
business, you're moving backwards."
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412. We used to have many more animals,
but they all died.
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413. What about your dog?
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414. - What's its name?
- We don't have a dog.
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415. I thought you said you, uh, did?
In the cellar?
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416. Right. Yeah.
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417. Yeah, well, um...
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418. Oh, boy.
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419. Oh, I better be getting back,
you know? Tsk.
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420. - What?
- I've got to go and screen the matinee,
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421. you know, but you gotta practice,
remember?
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422. You gotta get those dance moves perfect.
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423. Now's not the time to be resting
on your laurels, is it?
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424. Nice seeing you, Pearl.
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425. Did I do something wrong?
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426. No.
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427. Then why did you just go cold on me?
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428. I don't know what you mean.
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429. What did you see?
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430. I didn't see anything.
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431. You're lying.
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432. - No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
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433. I know because
I feel things very deeply.
Copy !req
434. Look, I've got to get back
to work, all right?
Copy !req
435. - I'll— I'll see you later.
- When?
Copy !req
436. - What?
- When will I see you?
Copy !req
437. I don't know, Pearl.
It's just an expression.
Copy !req
438. You're not going to take me to Europe,
are you? Tell me the truth.
Copy !req
439. What did I do wrong?
Copy !req
440. - Nothing. Calm down.
- No!
Copy !req
441. Why are you leaving me
if I didn't do anything wrong?
Copy !req
442. I don't understand!
I thought you liked me!
Copy !req
443. - I do like you. I just...
- Tell me the truth!
Copy !req
444. Why are you leaving me?
What did you see? Why did you change?
Copy !req
445. You're scaring me, Pearl.
Copy !req
446. Okay?
Copy !req
447. I wish you the best of luck
with your audition.
Copy !req
448. Sincerely.
Copy !req
449. You're not gonna leave me here!
Copy !req
450. I'm not staying on this farm!
Copy !req
451. Nothing's going to keep me here!
Copy !req
452. You hear me?
Copy !req
453. Nothing!
Copy !req
454. Not you! Not Howard!
Copy !req
455. Not Mama! Nobody!
Copy !req
456. No... No...
Copy !req
457. I want you to remember
what it feels like.
Copy !req
458. 'Cause that's how I felt
every time you looked at me.
Copy !req
459. Okay, Daddy.
Let's get you cleaned up.
Copy !req
460. I wish you wouldn't
look at me like that.
Copy !req
461. What do you think?
Copy !req
462. Thank you for everything.
Copy !req
463. I know you'll look down on me proudly.
Copy !req
464. You are loved.
Copy !req
465. Au revoir, poor Johnny!
Copy !req
466. Oh, thank goodness you came.
Copy !req
467. I was beginning to think
you weren't going to show.
Copy !req
468. Sorry. I had some chores to do
around the house.
Copy !req
469. Well, I've been
in such a flap all by myself.
Copy !req
470. I feel worse than I imagine I would
had I contracted that awful flu.
Copy !req
471. What's in the suitcases?
Copy !req
472. All my things I need
for going on the road.
Copy !req
473. Wow. You're confident.
Copy !req
474. Rumor has it they may only be
taking one gal per town.
Copy !req
475. It has to be me.
Copy !req
476. I don't think you meant
to say that out loud, Pearl.
Copy !req
477. Well, if it's not me,
then I hope it's you, right?
Copy !req
478. It has to be me.
Copy !req
479. Next.
Copy !req
480. That's Dorothy Collins.
Copy !req
481. Can't say I'm too saddened for her.
Copy !req
482. Some people just think
they're God's gift, you know?
Copy !req
483. But they always get what's
coming to them eventually.
Copy !req
484. I feel bad saying that, actually.
She's a nurse.
Copy !req
485. I don't know how to do
something like that.
Copy !req
486. Oh, Pearl. I'm so nervous.
Copy !req
487. What if they laugh me right off stage?
I don't think I could handle that.
Copy !req
488. How are you not scared?
Copy !req
489. I guess I'm just more
used to the feeling.
Copy !req
490. Next.
Copy !req
491. Oh, Lord.
Copy !req
492. Switch places with me.
Copy !req
493. I don't think I can do this.
I'm too frightened.
Copy !req
494. - What?
- Come on, Pearl.
Copy !req
495. Switch before they open the doors again.
Copy !req
496. Come on. Move.
Copy !req
497. Thank you.
Copy !req
498. You're a good friend.
Copy !req
499. Am I?
Copy !req
500. Of course you are.
Copy !req
501. Sister-in-laws have
to stick together, right?
Copy !req
502. Next.
Copy !req
503. Your turn, Pearl. Time to show them
what you can do.
Copy !req
504. I'm gonna show them all.
Copy !req
505. Break a leg.
Copy !req
506. Ready, miss?
Copy !req
507. Thank you.
Copy !req
508. But it's gonna be a no.
Copy !req
509. Pardon?
Copy !req
510. Sorry, you're just not
what we had in mind.
Copy !req
511. Well, that was the best dancing
I've ever done.
Copy !req
512. Yes, it was very nice.
Copy !req
513. But we already have plenty of gals
like you in the troupe.
Copy !req
514. We're looking for something
different today.
Copy !req
515. You know? More all-American,
younger and blonde.
Copy !req
516. Someone with X factor.
Copy !req
517. What?
Copy !req
518. Next!
Copy !req
519. Come on.
Copy !req
520. - Come on.
- No.
Copy !req
521. I'm afraid so.
Copy !req
522. Come on, miss. Time to go.
Copy !req
523. Please.
Copy !req
524. You don't understand. I need this.
Copy !req
525. Next in line, please.
Copy !req
526. I can make it better.
Copy !req
527. Come on now, darling. You don't want
to make a scene and spoil everything.
Copy !req
528. Please! Just give me one more chance.
Copy !req
529. - Come on, now.
- No.
Copy !req
530. I'm a... I'm a star.
Copy !req
531. Come on.
Come on, miss. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
532. - It's time to go.
- No, I'm a star!
Copy !req
533. Come on.
Copy !req
534. Please! I'm a star!
Copy !req
535. I'm sorry. It's time to go.
Copy !req
536. Please, somebody help me!
Copy !req
537. Please! Help me! Help me!
Copy !req
538. No!
Copy !req
539. Pearl?
Copy !req
540. Pearl?
Copy !req
541. How about I take you home?
Copy !req
542. Is that our pig?
Copy !req
543. Should I go and fetch your mother?
Copy !req
544. No.
Copy !req
545. How about I get you
something nice to drink?
Copy !req
546. Mama was right.
Copy !req
547. I'm never getting off this farm.
Copy !req
548. And where would you want to go?
Copy !req
549. - Europe.
- Europe?
Copy !req
550. What on Earth for?
Copy !req
551. It'll be in ruins and you'll never get
Howard back there, I'll tell you.
Copy !req
552. Oh, come on, now.
Copy !req
553. I know you're disappointed, but there's
no sense in taking it this hard.
Copy !req
554. It's just a lousy old church group.
Copy !req
555. Those old dolts,
Copy !req
556. they don't know the first
thing about quality dancing.
Copy !req
557. You don't understand.
Copy !req
558. What don't I?
Copy !req
559. Come on, Pearl.
Copy !req
560. What's really the matter?
Copy !req
561. I don't feel...
Copy !req
562. well.
Copy !req
563. You're not coming down
with something, are you?
Copy !req
564. No. It's nothing like that.
Copy !req
565. Oh, thank goodness.
Copy !req
566. If I snuck out of the house and ended up
bringing home nothing but the germ,
Copy !req
567. my mother and father would just kill me.
Copy !req
568. I'm worried there may be something
real wrong with me, Mitsy.
Copy !req
569. How do you mean?
Copy !req
570. Seems like there's something missing
in me that the rest of the world has.
Copy !req
571. Have you told Howard?
Copy !req
572. I've never spoken about it
out loud to anyone.
Copy !req
573. So afraid of what people might think.
Copy !req
574. Pearl...
Copy !req
575. Howard's your husband.
Copy !req
576. He adores you.
Copy !req
577. You shouldn't be afraid
to tell him how you feel.
Copy !req
578. I'm scared of what I might say.
Copy !req
579. Well, practice on me first, then.
Copy !req
580. Pretend I'm Howard, and you
just say whatever's on your mind.
Copy !req
581. - I can't.
- Yes, you can.
Copy !req
582. Go on. Get it all out.
Copy !req
583. - Really?
- Yes.
Copy !req
584. Trust me.
Copy !req
585. Howard...
Copy !req
586. Go ahead, Pearl.
Copy !req
587. I hate you so much for leaving me here,
sometimes I hope you die.
Copy !req
588. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
589. I feel awful admitting that,
but it's the truth.
Copy !req
590. I was curious...
Copy !req
591. about other men.
Copy !req
592. I'm sure you don't want to hear
about a stranger satisfying your wife,
Copy !req
593. and I swear it was only once.
It was a mistake.
Copy !req
594. It wasn't him that I wanted.
I know that now.
Copy !req
595. And I wish things could just go back
to the way they were before,
Copy !req
596. but I don't see how they could...
Copy !req
597. not after the things I've done.
Copy !req
598. - What else have you done, Pearl?
- Oh, Howard.
Copy !req
599. I realize how this all must sound.
Copy !req
600. Honestly,
there was a time I was flattered
Copy !req
601. to have someone as handsome
as you pine over me.
Copy !req
602. You're such a good person. I know that.
Copy !req
603. I made sure to always be
mindful with your heart.
Copy !req
604. I never wanted you to feel jealous.
Copy !req
605. It's an awful feeling,
Copy !req
606. like a rot, the way it just twists
and turns at your insides.
Copy !req
607. I know that aching so well.
Copy !req
608. I feel it...
Copy !req
609. whenever I see others
whose lives come easy,
Copy !req
610. because the truth is,
I'm not really a good person.
Copy !req
611. Pearl, I think I should just—
Copy !req
612. The reason I kept my eyes
to the ground around other men
Copy !req
613. was never to avoid hurting you.
Copy !req
614. It's because I understood
how lucky I was to have your attention.
Copy !req
615. I may be a poor farm girl, Howard,
but I'm not stupid.
Copy !req
616. I spotted you the moment
you came to live with us.
Copy !req
617. You worked hard like the other
farmhands, but you were different.
Copy !req
618. You're from somewhere.
Copy !req
619. A nice, comfortable place that you could
return to whenever you wanted.
Copy !req
620. I'm so desperate to have that.
Copy !req
621. All my life, I've wanted off this farm
and you were my ticket out.
Copy !req
622. So... I made sure to never
let you see who I really was.
Copy !req
623. It worked like a charm, too.
Copy !req
624. Then, when you finally brought me
back to your home to meet your family,
Copy !req
625. it was just as I hoped.
Copy !req
626. A life straight out of the pictures.
Copy !req
627. At least that's what it felt like to me.
Copy !req
628. And you didn't want it.
Copy !req
629. You just wanted to stay here on
our farm, and that made me so angry.
Copy !req
630. How could you? I'm certain you knew
I hated it, you must've.
Copy !req
631. How could you be so selfish and cruel
after all I've done to make you happy?
Copy !req
632. I was even pregnant with your baby.
Copy !req
633. I never wanted to be a mother.
Copy !req
634. I loathed the feeling of it
growing inside me.
Copy !req
635. It felt like sickness.
Copy !req
636. Pulling and sucking on me
like some needy animal in a barn.
Copy !req
637. How could I be responsible
for another life?
Copy !req
638. Life terrifies me.
Copy !req
639. It's harsh, and bleak, and draining.
Copy !req
640. I was so relieved when it died.
Copy !req
641. It was one less weight
keeping me trapped here,
Copy !req
642. but then the war came
and you left me, too.
Copy !req
643. Why did you leave me, Howard?
Copy !req
644. I hate feeling like this. So pathetic.
Copy !req
645. Do people like you ever feel this way?
Copy !req
646. I figure you don't. You seem
so perfect all the time.
Copy !req
647. Lord must've been generous to you.
Copy !req
648. He never answers any of my prayers.
Copy !req
649. I don't know why, what did I do?
What is wrong with me?
Copy !req
650. Please, just tell me
so maybe I can get better.
Copy !req
651. I don't want to end up like Mama.
Copy !req
652. I want to be dancing up on the screen
like the pretty gals in the pictures.
Copy !req
653. I want what they have so badly—
Copy !req
654. to be perfect,
Copy !req
655. to be loved from as many people
as possible,
Copy !req
656. to make up for all my time
spent suffering.
Copy !req
657. Sometimes I wake in the middle of
the night and the fear washes over me,
Copy !req
658. 'cause what if this is it?
Copy !req
659. What if this is right where I belong?
Copy !req
660. I'm a failure.
Copy !req
661. I'm not pretty...
Copy !req
662. or naturally pleasant, or friendly.
Copy !req
663. I'm not smart, or funny, or confident.
Copy !req
664. I'm exactly what Mama said I was— weak.
Copy !req
665. I don't know why. What did I do?
Why wasn't my family like yours?
Copy !req
666. I hate what it feels like to be me
and not you.
Copy !req
667. I'm so scared that
when you finally come home,
Copy !req
668. you'll see me and be frightened
like everyone else is.
Copy !req
669. I know what I've done,
Copy !req
670. the bad things,
Copy !req
671. terrible, awful, murderous things.
Copy !req
672. I regret them now,
but I liked how they felt.
Copy !req
673. I wish I didn't, but I did.
Copy !req
674. At first, it was only animals
smaller than myself.
Copy !req
675. Nothing with feelings,
nothing that could hurt me back.
Copy !req
676. It felt good.
Copy !req
677. Killing's easier than you think,
Copy !req
678. till recently with Mama and the boy
from the picture house.
Copy !req
679. They were different.
They were more meaningful.
Copy !req
680. I hurt them, so they too might know
what it feels like to suffer,
Copy !req
681. but poor Daddy didn't deserve that.
I wish I hadn't done what I did.
Copy !req
682. Mama meant well.
Copy !req
683. She had a hard life.
Copy !req
684. She only wanted a home
to feel safe in, I can see that.
Copy !req
685. I thought I hated her, but I just want
to feel safe, too.
Copy !req
686. Lord...
Copy !req
687. I made such a mess of things.
Copy !req
688. I don't know how much more I can take.
Copy !req
689. I need to clean this up.
Copy !req
690. All of it.
Copy !req
691. I need to make things right
before you see me again.
Copy !req
692. Maybe if I can turn this farm
into a home for us like you wanted,
Copy !req
693. things will finally be different.
Copy !req
694. I can forgive.
Copy !req
695. I can be who you want me to be
if you'll just stay with me.
Copy !req
696. Would you do that, please?
Copy !req
697. I can't be all by myself anymore.
It's too hard.
Copy !req
698. We can love each other.
Copy !req
699. I'll do that for you
Copy !req
700. if you really meant all that
"till death do us part."
Copy !req
701. It'd be enough...
Copy !req
702. just you and me here on this farm.
Copy !req
703. All I really want is to be loved.
Copy !req
704. I'm having such a hard time
without it lately.
Copy !req
705. I should probably get going now.
Copy !req
706. Mother will be wondering
where I am if I'm not home soon.
Copy !req
707. Are you frightened of me?
Copy !req
708. No.
Copy !req
709. Of course not, Pearl.
Copy !req
710. Do you think I'm sick?
Copy !req
711. No.
Copy !req
712. Thank you.
Copy !req
713. I'm happy for you.
Copy !req
714. What?
Copy !req
715. For getting the part.
Copy !req
716. In the dance troupe. You deserved it.
Copy !req
717. - I didn't get the part.
- It's okay.
Copy !req
718. You don't have to pretend anymore.
My feelings won't be hurt.
Copy !req
719. If it wasn't me,
I'm glad it was you, right?
Copy !req
720. - But, Pearl, I—
- Please...
Copy !req
721. Don't lie to me.
Copy !req
722. Well... yes.
Copy !req
723. Thank you.
Copy !req
724. It's going to be real swell,
dancing around the state.
Copy !req
725. I hope you can come
see the show sometime.
Copy !req
726. You always get everything you want.
Copy !req
727. You're younger and more blonde.
Copy !req
728. I have to go now.
Copy !req
729. You're not gonna say anything, are you?
Copy !req
730. No.
Copy !req
731. I really do love Howard.
Copy !req
732. I know.
Copy !req
733. Nobody has to know.
Copy !req
734. I can fix things.
Copy !req
735. It can be our secret, Mitsy.
Copy !req
736. Help!
Copy !req
737. Help me!
Copy !req
738. Somebody, please help!
Copy !req
739. No! No, please.
Copy !req
740. Help! Help!
Copy !req
741. Help!
Copy !req
742. Help me, please!
Copy !req
743. Help!
Copy !req
744. Please, no! No!
Copy !req
745. I won't tell anyone!
Copy !req
746. Please, I swear!
Copy !req
747. No!
Copy !req
748. Please! I'll do anything you want.
Copy !req
749. It's not about what I want anymore,
Mitsy.
Copy !req
750. Please.
Copy !req
751. It's about making the
best of what I have.
Copy !req
752. No! No!
Copy !req
753. No!
Copy !req
754. Bless us, o' Lord,
Copy !req
755. and these Thy gifts
Copy !req
756. which we are about to receive
from Thy bounty...
Copy !req
757. through Christ our Lord.
Copy !req
758. Amen.
Copy !req
759. Home sweet home!
Copy !req
760. So long, y'all.
Copy !req
761. Pearl?
Copy !req
762. Pearl?
Copy !req
763. Howard?
Copy !req
764. I'm so happy you're home.
Copy !req