1. Where did that come from?Copy !req
2. The title department.Copy !req
3. Hyah!Copy !req
4. That blue
should be more blue blue.Copy !req
5. Huh?Copy !req
6. That's wrong.
Ah.Copy !req
7. You can't climb those.
Start again.Copy !req
8. You like these?Copy !req
9. No.Copy !req
10. How's everything
coming along?Copy !req
11. The Shogun is coming to visit
in one week.Copy !req
12. Everyone knows
he's trying to decide
who his successor will be.Copy !req
13. And if I have anything
to do with it, it'll be me.Copy !req
14. I've spared no expenseCopy !req
15. making this
the grandest palace
in the land.Copy !req
16. Imported mice to chase.Copy !req
17. Fine couches to ruin.Copy !req
18. And the crown jewel
of the palace,Copy !req
19. my state-of-the-art bathroom.Copy !req
20. Behold, the future!Copy !req
21. I call it the Super Bowl.Copy !req
22. Because that's what it is,
a super bowl.Copy !req
23. Impressive.Copy !req
24. I hope the Shogun
thinks so.Copy !req
25. The only thing left to solve
is our little problem.Copy !req
26. Kakamucho?
Precisely.Copy !req
27. What do you do
when you're a landlord,Copy !req
28. and you have tenants
you really hate?Copy !req
29. You evict them.Copy !req
30. But the town's been there
for thousands of years.Copy !req
31. I give you an order,
and you give me facts.
Really?Copy !req
32. The only fact
I'm interested inCopy !req
33. is that that hairball of a town
is ruining my magnificent view.Copy !req
34. We've got to wipe them
off the mapCopy !req
35. to make this palace
absolutely perfect.Copy !req
36. But what about
the samurai that's there
to protect them?Copy !req
37. Just get rid of their samurai!
The fraidy-cats will follow.Copy !req
38. But make sure
it can't be traced
back to me.Copy !req
39. Bandits!Copy !req
40. You warn the others.
I'll get the samurai.Copy !req
41. Stranger danger!
Stranger danger!Copy !req
42. Stranger danger!
Stranger danger!Copy !req
43. Stranger danger!
Stranger danger!Copy !req
44. Mr. Samurai! Mr. Samurai!Copy !req
45. Bad cats are coming!
We need your help!Copy !req
46. I've got this.
I know exactly what to do.Copy !req
47. Samurai,
we're coming for you!Copy !req
48. Bring it on, bandits!Copy !req
49. Hyah!Copy !req
50. I know these events look dire,Copy !req
51. but we must stand
on our own four legs and fight.Copy !req
52. This is our home.Copy !req
53. It is the sacred place
where our kittens were bornCopy !req
54. and where we will
one day join our ancestorsCopy !req
55. in a shoebox
buried behind the garage.Copy !req
56. Dr. Katz,
you have something to say?Copy !req
57. No, I just got a hairball.Copy !req
58. What we need
is a samurai.Copy !req
59. We still can't find
the last one.Copy !req
60. We even put up posters.Copy !req
61. What we need
is a new samurai.Copy !req
62. Not it!Copy !req
63. No! Think.Copy !req
64. Where did we get
our old samurai?Copy !req
65. Samurais "R" Us?Copy !req
66. Argh!
No, from the Shogun!Copy !req
67. So why don't we ask the Shogun
to send us a new one?Copy !req
68. Okay, I've got it.Copy !req
69. Why don't we ask the Shogun
to send us a new one?Copy !req
70. Work, work, work.Copy !req
71. Let's see,
what's on the agenda today?Copy !req
72. Catfights
on the western front.Copy !req
73. Cat-scratch fever
breaking out in the east.Copy !req
74. What's this?
Our sacred soilCopy !req
75. has been soiled by a dog
who crossed the border?Copy !req
76. Probably a Border Collie.Copy !req
77. Fortunately,
he's been apprehended.Copy !req
78. Oh, well. You break the law,
you pay the price.Copy !req
79. It's not personal,
it's just business.Copy !req
80. And you know what they say,Copy !req
81. "There's no business
like Shogun business!"Copy !req
82. I've got an urgent message!Copy !req
83. I've got an urgent message!Copy !req
84. From the cats of Kakamucho!Copy !req
85. Well, spit it out.Copy !req
86. An urgent tweet
from Kakamucho?Copy !req
87. Hmm.Copy !req
88. "Bandits ravaging village, stop.
We need a new samurai, stop.Copy !req
89. This reign of terror
has to stop, stop."Copy !req
90. Okay, tell them
I'll send someone right away.Copy !req
91. Marmalade! Marmalade!
I need to make a call.Copy !req
92. Get me what's-his-name.Copy !req
93. I have Ika Chu
on line two.Copy !req
94. Good, very good, yes.Copy !req
95. Pikachu, how's it going?Copy !req
96. Pikachu, how's it going?
Peek-a-boo, how's it going?Copy !req
97. Peek-a-who...
Peek-a-you...Copy !req
98. Koo Koo Roo...
Scooby-Doo...Copy !req
99. Toodle-oo...Copy !req
100. Pikachu, how's it going?Copy !req
101. It's Ika Chu,
My Divine Fabulousness.Copy !req
102. I'm so excited and gratefulCopy !req
103. that you will honor me
with your presenceCopy !req
104. for the unveiling
of my latest creation.Copy !req
105. I promise to amaze you.Copy !req
106. Listen,
I gave you a callCopy !req
107. 'cause I just got
this urgent appealCopy !req
108. from the town
of Kakamucho.Copy !req
109. Seems they've been
set upon by bandits!Copy !req
110. Can't have ordinary
law-abiding cats
terrorized, can we?Copy !req
111. Of course we can't,
Your Worshipfulness.Copy !req
112. Well, I promised them
we'd send a new samurai,Copy !req
113. and I'm putting you
in charge of it,
Nike Shoe.Copy !req
114. Oh, sir,Copy !req
115. I'm so excited
and grateful.
Good, good.Copy !req
116. And don't forget,
I'll be there next week
to see my new palace.Copy !req
117. Looking forward to you
knocking my socks off.Copy !req
118. Hey, I'm gonna have to
put you on hold.Copy !req
119. Here, hold this.Copy !req
120. No, no, no!
This could ruin everything.Copy !req
121. "Send a new samurai
to Kakamucho."Copy !req
122. I just got rid
of the last one!Copy !req
123. I have to do
what the Shogun saysCopy !req
124. but in a way
that will benefit me.Copy !req
125. Yes, that's it!
I need a new plan.Copy !req
126. But what can that plan be?Copy !req
127. Why am I asking you?Copy !req
128. All right, get up.Copy !req
129. It's time.Copy !req
130. Here, this is for you.Copy !req
131. What's that for?Copy !req
132. Oh, that.
That's for your execution.Copy !req
133. What? But I haven't
done anything.Copy !req
134. I don't understand.Copy !req
135. You came
to this country
illegally.Copy !req
136. It's strictly
no dogs allowed.Copy !req
137. Didn't you know?
Cats hate dogs.Copy !req
138. But dogs are lovable.
How could you hate a dog?Copy !req
139. My dad hated dogs
and that's good enough for me.Copy !req
140. It's not really
based on logic.Copy !req
141. It just feels right to hate,
you know?Copy !req
142. Yeah, makes sense to me.Copy !req
143. Now severing number one.Copy !req
144. Number one?Copy !req
145. Number one.Copy !req
146. I don't want to.
What?Copy !req
147. I don't want to do that.
I don't want to go up there.Copy !req
148. Okay, then.
You don't have to.
Really? Thank you.Copy !req
149. Of course.
I mean, what are we,
barbarians?Copy !req
150. Archers!Copy !req
151. Hey!
I'm trying to think up here!Copy !req
152. I know you've got
a lot of prisoners to kill,Copy !req
153. but please,
can you keep it down?Copy !req
154. Sorry!
Yeah? Thank you.Copy !req
155. There he goes.Copy !req
156. Get him!
Come on, move!Copy !req
157. He's getting away!Copy !req
158. Hyah!Copy !req
159. Hey, can't we
just talk this out?Copy !req
160. I don't speak dog.
But wait.Copy !req
161. We're communicating right now.
No, we're not.Copy !req
162. You just understood me.
No, I didn't.Copy !req
163. You should've never
come here, dog!
You don't belong.Copy !req
164. There he is!
Don't let him get away!Copy !req
165. Whew!Copy !req
166. Doggone it!Copy !req
167. Plan, plan...Copy !req
168. What I need— Yes!Copy !req
169. I'll send the worst samurai
in the entire world,Copy !req
170. and they do a terrible job.Copy !req
171. But where do you look
for something truly bad?Copy !req
172. Wait, please!Copy !req
173. I only came to your country
to learn to be a samurai.Copy !req
174. As if a dog
could ever become a samurai.Copy !req
175. Never! A dog.Copy !req
176. A dog!Copy !req
177. Hold your fire!Copy !req
178. Aw!Copy !req
179. Nice save.Copy !req
180. Always happy to lend a hand.Copy !req
181. Hi there.
Who's a good dog?Copy !req
182. Yeah, who's a good dog?
Who's a good dog?Copy !req
183. Does this mean
you're not gonna kill me?Copy !req
184. On the contrary!Copy !req
185. Let's talk about
what you can do for me.Copy !req
186. I am offering to make you
the new samurai of Kakamucho.Copy !req
187. Kakamucho? What's that?
In the way.Copy !req
188. But that's not as important
as you areCopy !req
189. at this lucky, lucky moment.Copy !req
190. Are you sure I'm ready
to defend an entire town?Copy !req
191. Maybe I should start out
as a mall samurai.Copy !req
192. What?Copy !req
193. No, no.Copy !req
194. Time to get my new samurai
to Kakamucho,Copy !req
195. so you can hurry up
and die-I-ive—Copy !req
196. dive right in.Copy !req
197. Whoa, uh...Copy !req
198. So, do I get a badge
or a certificate or a—Copy !req
199. you know,
something official-like?Copy !req
200. There you go.
Makes it all official.Copy !req
201. Wow. A samurai cup.Copy !req
202. Yes, they've all got one.
Just show that around.Copy !req
203. "Wow, he's got a cup.
He's a samurai.Copy !req
204. We'd better do
what he says."Copy !req
205. Well, better get going.Copy !req
206. That town isn't gonna
samurai itself.Copy !req
207. But I don't know
where I'm going!Copy !req
208. Don't worry, the horse knows.
He's got GPS.Copy !req
209. Giddy-up, uh,
Positioning System.Copy !req
210. Why are you
sending the dog
to defend Kakamucho?Copy !req
211. They will kill him.Copy !req
212. And the orphanage said
you would never speak.Copy !req
213. Yes, they will kill him.Copy !req
214. And killing
an official samurai—Copy !req
215. why, that's against the law!Copy !req
216. I would have to arrest
all of them.Copy !req
217. And that would leave
no one in the townCopy !req
218. where I want no one.Copy !req
219. You did know
where we were going.Copy !req
220. It's the latest thing.
It's called a "gun."Copy !req
221. Is it dangerous?Copy !req
222. Don't be silly,
guns don't kill cats.Copy !req
223. Cars and curiosity
kill cats.Copy !req
224. What's a car?Copy !req
225. Careful.
You're being curious.Copy !req
226. He's coming, he's coming!Copy !req
227. There he is!
The new samurai!Copy !req
228. The new samurai's a dog.Copy !req
229. He's a what?Copy !req
230. The new samurai is a dog!Copy !req
231. The new samurai is a dong?Copy !req
232. "Welcome to Kakamucho."Copy !req
233. Okay.
Here goes nothing.Copy !req
234. Welcoming committee?Copy !req
235. Maybe this won't be so bad.Copy !req
236. Okay, first day on the job.
Make eye contact, smile...Copy !req
237. It's a dog!
He's gonna ruin
everything!Copy !req
238. Let's kill him before
the new samurai arrives.Copy !req
239. Sic him!Copy !req
240. Kill him! Tear him up!Copy !req
241. Sit!Copy !req
242. Now that's what I call
wokking the dog.Copy !req
243. Yeah, 'cause she hit that dog
with a wok!Copy !req
244. Uh, is he dead?Copy !req
245. Hey, see if he has
any snacks in his pockets.Copy !req
246. Oh, it's a trick!
He's playing dead.Copy !req
247. Bad doggy!
Dang it.Copy !req
248. Sic him!
Wait, can we just
talk for one minute?Copy !req
249. Shut up, dog!
I am the new samurai, I am!
Look, here's my cup.Copy !req
250. Let him have it!Copy !req
251. Stop!
He is the new samurai.Copy !req
252. It says he's been appointed
by the Shogun himself.Copy !req
253. Well, that is— Wow.
I did not see that coming.Copy !req
254. Give me that!
You must be confused,
little girl.Copy !req
255. Argh.Copy !req
256. Well, this is
certainly disappointing.Copy !req
257. What is?Copy !req
258. I can't read.Copy !req
259. She is right.
It's official.Copy !req
260. So we cannot kill him?Copy !req
261. Yeah, no.Copy !req
262. Yeah, I know, I know.
We're all disappointed.Copy !req
263. But we can still hate him,
right?Copy !req
264. Absolutely!Copy !req
265. You are, number one,
not a cat.Copy !req
266. Number two, you are a dog,Copy !req
267. so that it goes back to you
not being a cat.Copy !req
268. And three, you are definitely
not a samuraiCopy !req
269. because you are a dog,Copy !req
270. and that goes back to you
not being a cat.Copy !req
271. Go back where you came from,
car chaser!Copy !req
272. Again, what's a car?Copy !req
273. Stop being curious.
You'll kill us all.Copy !req
274. Hi.Copy !req
275. Hi.Copy !req
276. Are you really
a dog?Copy !req
277. Yes, I am a dog.
Told you.Copy !req
278. I didn't know
dogs could be samurai.Copy !req
279. Well, they can,
and I—Copy !req
280. Wait, why not?
Your sword's on backwards.Copy !req
281. No, it's not, actually.
Is it?Copy !req
282. Do you know
how it's supposed to go?Copy !req
283. I know a few things
about samurai-ing.Copy !req
284. Fair enough.
How about I deputize you
as my official assistant?Copy !req
285. Bad dog!Copy !req
286. Don't talk to him.Copy !req
287. Did you touch him?
Time to use our hand sanitizers.Copy !req
288. No, no, no!Copy !req
289. Doggamn it!Copy !req
290. What kind of a world
do we live inCopy !req
291. where good
and upright citizensCopy !req
292. can't be counted onCopy !req
293. to kill someone just because
they look different?Copy !req
294. We could try
beating them up again.Copy !req
295. Only problem is
they still have a samurai.Copy !req
296. You're kidding me, right?
He's a Labradork.Copy !req
297. Put his tail
between his legs
and let's finish this!Copy !req
298. Okay. Here goes nothing.Copy !req
299. Ooh.Copy !req
300. Ooh.Copy !req
301. Ow!Copy !req
302. Wow.Copy !req
303. Excellent.Copy !req
304. That's right.
I'm a samurai now!Copy !req
305. Take that! Take that!
Oh, yeah!Copy !req
306. Whoa.Copy !req
307. How 'bout a little nip?Copy !req
308. A little catnip.Copy !req
309. I don't think I'm—
More for me.Copy !req
310. Who are you?Copy !req
311. My friends call me Jimbo.Copy !req
312. And since I have no friends,Copy !req
313. I guess
you can call me Jimbo too.Copy !req
314. I guess it works either way.Copy !req
315. Well, Jimbo, I'm Hank,
and I'm the new samurai.Copy !req
316. New samurai, huh?Copy !req
317. You know,
your sword's on backwards.Copy !req
318. Oh, and I suppose
you know everythingCopy !req
319. because you're a samurai.Copy !req
320. I know you're not.Copy !req
321. Why, because I'm a dog?
No, because you're an idiot.Copy !req
322. No real samurai would be
caught dead wearing that.Copy !req
323. Is that a bathrobe?
You get that from a hotel?Copy !req
324. You're not a samurai,
are you?Copy !req
325. I know. Right. I'm not.Copy !req
326. I came here to learn
to be a samurai,Copy !req
327. and then I got this job,Copy !req
328. but I don't have the slightest
idea what I'm doing.Copy !req
329. Is there a book?Copy !req
330. You know, an instruction manual,
like How to Be a Samurai?Copy !req
331. You mean
Samurai for Dummies?Copy !req
332. Yes!
No.Copy !req
333. That would be dumb.Copy !req
334. Ow! Okay, that hurts.Copy !req
335. Okay, ow!
Oh, that's— Agh!Copy !req
336. You'd better get out there.Copy !req
337. It's samurai time.Copy !req
338. You're the samurai, right?Copy !req
339. Uh, it looks
a little dangerous
out there.Copy !req
340. Oh, yeah, dangerous.Copy !req
341. That's N.W.A. out there.
Ninjas With Attitude.Copy !req
342. But you go ahead,
it'll be great!Copy !req
343. You are the samurai.Copy !req
344. Look at that.Copy !req
345. It's that mean old lady.
Yes, it is.Copy !req
346. Now I have to—
Yes, you do.Copy !req
347. Maybe I could just go
talk to them.Copy !req
348. You know, work this out.Copy !req
349. You should do that.
I will.Copy !req
350. You go reason with them.Copy !req
351. Uh, excuse me?Copy !req
352. Excuse me, please.Copy !req
353. Excuse me!Copy !req
354. Get lost, dog.
This is cat business!Copy !req
355. Don't listen to him.Copy !req
356. You guys are doing
a great job.Copy !req
357. Sword's still
on the wrong side.Copy !req
358. My eyes are up here.Copy !req
359. Ohh!Copy !req
360. Right in the eye.Copy !req
361. Interesting choice,
using your face
to block those punches.Copy !req
362. I wouldn't have
considered that.Copy !req
363. Yeah, what do you know?Copy !req
364. Enough not to get
my butt kicked.Copy !req
365. I got to get some
samurai training.Copy !req
366. I don't think training
can help you.Copy !req
367. Couldn't hurt.
What am I
supposed to do?Copy !req
368. If I were you,
I would consider going home.Copy !req
369. Maybe being a lapdog.Copy !req
370. I can't leave.
Sure you can.Copy !req
371. I've got nowhere else
to go!Copy !req
372. It took everything I had
to come here.Copy !req
373. Then it's,
"Hey, get shot
full of arrowsCopy !req
374. or take this job,"
so here I am.Copy !req
375. I've got to make this
samurai thing work.
I have to.Copy !req
376. But first
I need to learn.Copy !req
377. Sounds like you need
a mentor.Copy !req
378. Dog breath?Copy !req
379. Not Mentos.
Mentor! A teacher.Copy !req
380. To take you under his wing,
teach you all he knows.Copy !req
381. That kind of thing.Copy !req
382. That's exactly
what I need.Copy !req
383. Perhaps a once-great samurai
who has fallen on hard timesCopy !req
384. and maybe could use
some help himself.Copy !req
385. But where could I
find one?Copy !req
386. Hey! It's you!Copy !req
387. What? Get out of here!
Who even made that?Copy !req
388. Don't believe
everything you read.Copy !req
389. This is traditionally
the place in a movieCopy !req
390. where the hero
meets his big opportunity.Copy !req
391. You're my guy.
Come on, train me.Copy !req
392. But you're a dog.
Is that
what's bothering you?Copy !req
393. There's a lot about you
that's bothering me.Copy !req
394. Like, for instance,
how you got here.Copy !req
395. It wasn't easy,
that's for sure.Copy !req
396. I had to cross
impassable seas,Copy !req
397. unclimbable mountainsCopy !req
398. and really nasty
midtown traffic.Copy !req
399. But why do you want to be
a samurai?Copy !req
400. I was always the runt.
Everybody always picked on me.Copy !req
401. I lived
in a bad neighborhoodCopy !req
402. in a bad part of town
full of bad dogs.Copy !req
403. But this day,
something awesome happened.Copy !req
404. He moved almost faster
than your eye could see.Copy !req
405. Huh.Copy !req
406. And then he was gone.Copy !req
407. A samurai in a strange land
took the time to help...Copy !req
408. me.Copy !req
409. That's why I came here.
To learn to be just like him.Copy !req
410. I even kept his sword.Copy !req
411. I've been wondering
where that went. Thank you!Copy !req
412. Wait a minute.Copy !req
413. That's your sword?Copy !req
414. Then that means you're...Copy !req
415. I don't want to
talk about it.Copy !req
416. But will you
train me?Copy !req
417. Nope.
Why?Copy !req
418. Because you're so busy?Copy !req
419. No,
because you're so brainless.Copy !req
420. I showed you my movie,
the whole flashback thing.Copy !req
421. I don't believe it!Copy !req
422. I'm out of here.Copy !req
423. And I never want
to see you again.Copy !req
424. You.Copy !req
425. How much did you hear?Copy !req
426. Samurai Hank
needs your help.Copy !req
427. Are you not bound
by your samurai oath
to help him?Copy !req
428. You mean the one that says
I can't turn my back
on those in need?Copy !req
429. Yeah, that one.Copy !req
430. No.Copy !req
431. Well, maybe.Copy !req
432. That's not what...Copy !req
433. Stupid oath!Copy !req
434. The cuteness is strong
with this one.Copy !req
435. What's this?
It is a contractCopy !req
436. between a student, you,
and a teacher, me.Copy !req
437. Uh, why do we need
a contract?Copy !req
438. Because at this momentCopy !req
439. it would be so nice
if I weren't here.Copy !req
440. And if you
break this contract,
I won't be.Copy !req
441. Besides,
it's very straightforward.Copy !req
442. You swear to be brave,
honorable,Copy !req
443. protect those in need,
not seek glory,Copy !req
444. finish what you start
and always obey your master.Copy !req
445. The samurai oath!
Yes.Copy !req
446. And if you break it,
our contract is broken.
And you go home.Copy !req
447. Should I have my attorney
look at that first?Copy !req
448. We don't have
that kind of time.
Now, sign here.Copy !req
449. Defend yourself!Copy !req
450. What am I supposed to do
with a stick?Copy !req
451. Lesson one.Copy !req
452. It is not so important
what you doCopy !req
453. as it is important
that you do something.Copy !req
454. A warrior
has catlike reflexes.Copy !req
455. I'm not a cat, I'm a dog!
Nobody's perfect.Copy !req
456. Ouch.Copy !req
457. Wait. That music.Copy !req
458. This is the training montage,
isn't it?Copy !req
459. Can't we just skip ahead
to the part where I'm good?Copy !req
460. No. This is my favorite part.
The part where you suffer.Copy !req
461. Cross the river!
Any way you can!Copy !req
462. To a cat,
nothing is unclimbable!Copy !req
463. Did I mention
I wasn't a cat?Copy !req
464. Just make it
to the other side
of the wall.Copy !req
465. Then you will be ready.Copy !req
466. Want to give me a hand?Copy !req
467. Very funny!Copy !req
468. Don't forget to land
on your...Copy !req
469. feet.Copy !req
470. Nope.Copy !req
471. Nope.Copy !req
472. Ha.Copy !req
473. Ow, ow, ow, ow.Copy !req
474. Uh-uh. Nope.Copy !req
475. No?Copy !req
476. I'm starting to think
you don't know
what you're doing.Copy !req
477. I know exactly what I'm doing.Copy !req
478. I'm talking about
training.Copy !req
479. You said you could
make me a samurai.Copy !req
480. I can make you a pizza.Copy !req
481. But I cannot make you
into anything.Copy !req
482. That power's
only within yourself.Copy !req
483. You said you would help me,
not just whack me with stuff.Copy !req
484. I've been whacked
my whole life.
That's why I came here.Copy !req
485. To learn to be a samurai.Copy !req
486. Hmm.Copy !req
487. You want glory.Copy !req
488. You know nothing
of being a true samurai.Copy !req
489. I'm starting to think
you don't either.Copy !req
490. And you know what?
I don't even believe
you are a real samurai.Copy !req
491. So what happened to you?Copy !req
492. How did you go
from being a samuraiCopy !req
493. to a washed-up loser
who drinks too much catnip,Copy !req
494. has an obvious
weight problem,Copy !req
495. no real friends
to speak of,
is prediabetic—Copy !req
496. That's enough!Copy !req
497. There was a time
I was chief bodyguardCopy !req
498. of a very important official
named Toshiro Tyfune.Copy !req
499. He was a real cool cat.
With greatness ahead of him.Copy !req
500. Is this a flashback?
Don't interrupt me.Copy !req
501. If it's a flashback,
you should project it.Copy !req
502. It really brings it to life.Copy !req
503. I don't need the projector.Copy !req
504. It's an old-fashioned
remembering.Copy !req
505. Now stop interrupting.Copy !req
506. We'd been summoned to
a meeting late one night.Copy !req
507. It was all very mysterious.Copy !req
508. Just didn't feel right.Copy !req
509. It's an ambush! Get down!Copy !req
510. "Happy Birthday"?Copy !req
511. I not only ruinedCopy !req
512. the biggest night of his life,Copy !req
513. I spayed and neutered
his in-laws.Copy !req
514. I broke my samurai oath.Copy !req
515. I was shamed.Copy !req
516. That's why I left.Copy !req
517. I'll make you a deal.Copy !req
518. We'll help each other.Copy !req
519. Not helpful.Copy !req
520. Today we begin something new.Copy !req
521. I learned I cannot teach a dog
to be a cat.Copy !req
522. What I must do is teach a dog
to be a better dog.Copy !req
523. What's that?Copy !req
524. The blindfold
is to help you focus.Copy !req
525. Ah.Copy !req
526. Now listen.
Tell me what you hear.Copy !req
527. I hear you talking
and moving.Copy !req
528. Good.
I hear a bird.Copy !req
529. That's it.
I smell flowers actually.Copy !req
530. Dogs have
a keen sense of smellCopy !req
531. and excellent hearing.Copy !req
532. I hear a dragonfly.Copy !req
533. I smell wood burning.Copy !req
534. I smell tea brewing.Copy !req
535. Hey, are you making nachos?Copy !req
536. 'Cause someone
just cut the cheese.Copy !req
537. Lesson over.Copy !req
538. Well done.Copy !req
539. In battle as in life,
a samurai strives
to maintain his balance.Copy !req
540. And always defeats strength
with smart.Copy !req
541. I can dig it!Copy !req
542. You must control your fear,
or fear will control you.Copy !req
543. It is a danceCopy !req
544. in which a samurai
controls his spaceCopy !req
545. and his body.Copy !req
546. What are you learning?Copy !req
547. I don't like sticks
as much as I used to?Copy !req
548. What are you learning
in here?Copy !req
549. It's not the size
of the dog in the fight,Copy !req
550. it's the size of the fight
in—Copy !req
551. No! It is the size
of the dog in the fight.Copy !req
552. A big dog has fewer problems.
Let me demonstrate.Copy !req
553. Hold this.Copy !req
554. See?Copy !req
555. That wouldn't happen
to a big dog.Copy !req
556. We're still behind schedule.Copy !req
557. The Shogun will be here
in three days!Copy !req
558. Oops.Copy !req
559. I'm surrounded by imbeciles!
Complete morons!Copy !req
560. It must be
so hard for you.Copy !req
561. The patience
and kindness
that you show.Copy !req
562. Ohga, don't take this
the wrong way, okay?Copy !req
563. But you are a total failure
and a major disappointment.Copy !req
564. No offense.
None taken.Copy !req
565. Constructive criticism
is always welcome.Copy !req
566. Shh. I didn't
expect much of you,Copy !req
567. and you still
disappointed me.Copy !req
568. Listen.Copy !req
569. The cats of KakamuchoCopy !req
570. are no closer to leaving
than when we started.Copy !req
571. If you can't
get the job done,Copy !req
572. perhaps it's time
for a real professional.Copy !req
573. Send in the beast.Copy !req
574. Now get out.Copy !req
575. Hmm.Copy !req
576. Om.Copy !req
577. Argh!
Do you mind?Copy !req
578. You're harshing my mellow.Copy !req
579. Oh. Sorry.Copy !req
580. Teach me something.
How about patience?Copy !req
581. Come on,
teach me anything.Copy !req
582. Seriously, let's do this.
I'm ready for it.Copy !req
583. How about these?
You're not ready for those.Copy !req
584. How hard can it be?Copy !req
585. Hyah! Hwah!Copy !req
586. Ah! Uh—Copy !req
587. Ow.
Samurai Hank!Copy !req
588. Sumo is in town!Copy !req
589. What's a Sumo?
He's a giant!Copy !req
590. Samurai Hank,
you have to do something!Copy !req
591. Right.
Oh, no!Copy !req
592. No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
593. No way! You are not ready.
Not even close.Copy !req
594. Okay,
then we'll go together.
No, no, no.Copy !req
595. Not my job. Not my fight.
And you are not prepared.Copy !req
596. So is someone going to
do something?Copy !req
597. Yeah, is someone
gonna do something?Copy !req
598. No, someone's not.Copy !req
599. You know
she's gonna go over there.Copy !req
600. Not my student.Copy !req
601. Not my problem.Copy !req
602. Sword!Copy !req
603. Hi-yah!Copy !req
604. Hmm.Copy !req
605. Hah!Copy !req
606. Hi-yah!Copy !req
607. Aah!Copy !req
608. Hah!Copy !req
609. What are you doing?
I had him!Copy !req
610. I know you did,
but this is kind of my job.Copy !req
611. I could totally
take that guy!Copy !req
612. You should know
that I am a highly trained—Copy !req
613. mostly trained warrior,Copy !req
614. skilled in the ways of karate
and swordplay.Copy !req
615. As well as musical theater.Copy !req
616. In your own best interest,
you should surrender.Copy !req
617. You're under arrest!Copy !req
618. Wait!Copy !req
619. Uh, you've got something
on your...Copy !req
620. Sumo have edamame bean
on face.Copy !req
621. Sumo very allergic.Copy !req
622. So, we're all good then?Copy !req
623. Jimbo?Copy !req
624. Is your plan to let him hit you
until he gets tired?Copy !req
625. Maybe.
Bold plan.Copy !req
626. Ah, here he comes!Copy !req
627. Aah!Copy !req
628. You wanted to be a samurai.
Fun, isn't it?Copy !req
629. Now go get him!Copy !req
630. You can do it, Hank!Copy !req
631. Ooh-wah!Copy !req
632. He has told you
his weakness.Copy !req
633. Remember,
you defeat strength
with smart.Copy !req
634. Now get back out there.Copy !req
635. Head in the game, Hank!Copy !req
636. Huh?Copy !req
637. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
638. Yeah! That just happened!Copy !req
639. I'm a bad dog.Copy !req
640. Did you see
what I just did there?Copy !req
641. It was beautiful.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
642. And I would say
"Congratulations,"Copy !req
643. but since you're already
doing that yourself,Copy !req
644. let's get him to a doctor.Copy !req
645. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Got to do that.Copy !req
646. I might've really hurt him.
I mean, look at him.Copy !req
647. Yah!Copy !req
648. Hi-yah!Copy !req
649. Hmm.Copy !req
650. Did that hurt?Copy !req
651. Didn't feel a thing.Copy !req
652. What about that?Copy !req
653. Nope.Copy !req
654. Hey, listen,
sorry I had to
do all this to you.Copy !req
655. Sometimes I'm surprised
by my own strength.Copy !req
656. There's
a new sheriff in town,
all right?Copy !req
657. Better not let me catch you
breaking the law again,Copy !req
658. you feel me?Copy !req
659. You're free to go.Copy !req
660. No one ever
beat Sumo before.Copy !req
661. No one ever nice before.
Now have feelings for Hank.Copy !req
662. Sumo want to live
in Kakamucho with Hank.Copy !req
663. Well, who doesn't?
Safe town like this one
with great law enforcement.Copy !req
664. Ow.
Psst! It's for you.Copy !req
665. I wanted to say thank you
for defeating Sumo.Copy !req
666. And you are welcome.
Only one thing.Copy !req
667. We can never talk on the street
or anything like that.Copy !req
668. It just wouldn't look right,
you being a— you know.Copy !req
669. Yeah, I got you.Copy !req
670. Here.Copy !req
671. Thank you.
You're Chuck, right?Copy !req
672. Mmm, no.
Chuck!Copy !req
673. We have to go.
I have to go.Copy !req
674. Samurai Hank?Copy !req
675. We wanted to give you
something.Copy !req
676. "We"?Copy !req
677. So your mom wanted to
throw me a bone?Copy !req
678. No, my mom said
to hand it to you.Copy !req
679. Why would she do that?Copy !req
680. Well, if I threw it,Copy !req
681. it might get on the ground,
all dirty and icky.Copy !req
682. No, I meant
why would she want
to give me something?Copy !req
683. To thank you
for saving our town.Copy !req
684. You are the best dog samurai
I have ever seen.Copy !req
685. I am the only dog samurai
you have ever seen.Copy !req
686. But I got to say,
you're kind of right.Copy !req
687. I am mighty impressive
as far as samurais go.Copy !req
688. Are you all finished?Copy !req
689. 'Cause it's getting late,
and a samurai needs his sleep.Copy !req
690. Really looks like things
are turning around for me, eh?Copy !req
691. You got lucky, kid.
Don't let it
go to your head.Copy !req
692. Luck? Please.Copy !req
693. I should be registered
as a lethal weapon.Copy !req
694. Pride goeth
before a fall.Copy !req
695. What do you mean,
your ninjas are afraid?Copy !req
696. Um, since the dog defeated Sumo,
none of my cats want—Copy !req
697. The Shogun will be here
in two days!Copy !req
698. I don't care
if your ninja are afraid.Copy !req
699. Take them down
to that roadblock of a town
and really just...Copy !req
700. You know what I've done?
Your hair and a catty-pedi?Copy !req
701. Yes. But no.Copy !req
702. I've outsmarted my own self
by employing that dog.Copy !req
703. Oh, nice.Copy !req
704. Me likey.Copy !req
705. The problem with
the good citizens of KakamuchoCopy !req
706. is there are too many
good citizens in Kakamucho.Copy !req
707. It's time to take care
of this mutt myselfCopy !req
708. with the ultimate weapon.Copy !req
709. Me.Copy !req
710. Sumo, like butterfly
that was once caterpillar,Copy !req
711. fly like dandelion.Copy !req
712. It's a hat.
And this one's a boat.Copy !req
713. That is really good.Copy !req
714. Oops. That was the hat.Copy !req
715. What did you make?
A swan.Copy !req
716. And some other stuff.Copy !req
717. Oh, wow. That's amazing.Copy !req
718. You can make anything
out of folded paper.Copy !req
719. All right,
make me a sandwich.Copy !req
720. It's not a sandwich, but here,
I made you something.Copy !req
721. For good luck.Copy !req
722. Looks like me.Copy !req
723. It will always remind you
of who you are.Copy !req
724. Who you are?Copy !req
725. Let's concentrate
on who you are not.Copy !req
726. And that would be a samurai.Copy !req
727. Come on, Jimbo,
we're just enjoying
a beautiful day.Copy !req
728. The sun is shining,
birds are singing.Copy !req
729. And besides, I deserve a break
for taking care of Sumo.Copy !req
730. I mean, just look at him.Copy !req
731. Butterfly, oh...Copy !req
732. That's just the point.Copy !req
733. You have one little, itsy-bitsy,
tiny weeny bite of success—Copy !req
734. I'm sorry, tiny what?
"Tiny what" what?Copy !req
735. What?
What?Copy !req
736. Go ahead.Copy !req
737. The point is,
this is no time for celebrating.Copy !req
738. It's time to double your efforts
and train even harder.Copy !req
739. Now get to it.Copy !req
740. Hank!Copy !req
741. My brawling, battling hero.Copy !req
742. Sorry, I hope
I'm not bothering you. Am I?Copy !req
743. No, I was
just getting a workout in.Copy !req
744. Sure.Copy !req
745. Very impressive,
you defeating Sumo.Copy !req
746. Oh, wow!Copy !req
747. It was nothing.Copy !req
748. Oh, I'm sure it was...
nothing.Copy !req
749. Anyway, I came here
to invite you
out on the town to celebrate.Copy !req
750. Tonight, I'm taking you
to the most exclusive club
in the country.Copy !req
751. Even the members
aren't allowed in.Copy !req
752. Wow, thank you,
but I can't go.Copy !req
753. I promised my teacher
I'd stay focused
on my training.Copy !req
754. Right. Sounds like your teacher
is someone who's unhappyCopy !req
755. and wants everyone else
to be unhappy too.Copy !req
756. Do you like fun?
You like fun, don't you?Copy !req
757. Of course I like fun!
Fun is so fun!Copy !req
758. Fun is fun, isn't it?Copy !req
759. The clue is in the word.Copy !req
760. Drive. Bye! See you later!
We'll have fun.Copy !req
761. It's just one night.
It's not a big deal.Copy !req
762. It is a big deal.
It's the only deal.Copy !req
763. You committed to me
to go to the end,
and I did the same for you.Copy !req
764. You are breaking your word.Copy !req
765. I am not
breaking my word.Copy !req
766. We can start training
again tomorrow.Copy !req
767. But tonight I'm gonna have
some fun with my boss.Copy !req
768. I am your boss.Copy !req
769. What?
I am your boss!Copy !req
770. My boss?Copy !req
771. I tell you what to do,
and you do it.Copy !req
772. I thought you were my friend.Copy !req
773. I am your teacher.
Your mentor.Copy !req
774. As I told you when we met,
I am not your friend.Copy !req
775. A samurai has only duty,
not friends.Copy !req
776. Not my friend.
Well, that just sounds sad.Copy !req
777. Like someone who is unhappy
and wants everyone else
to be unhappy too.Copy !req
778. Well, I don't want to
be unhappy.
I'm gonna go have some fun.Copy !req
779. I hope you succeed
in having funCopy !req
780. because you have failed
in everything else.Copy !req
781. You know a lot about failure,
don't you?Copy !req
782. I defeated the unbeatable Sumo
in battle and saved the town.Copy !req
783. You can't even
get a birthday party right.Copy !req
784. Don't wait up.Copy !req
785. Bow and wow.
This place is awesome!Copy !req
786. Where are you going?Copy !req
787. Um, end of the line?
Are you kidding?Copy !req
788. Hank, don't you get it?
There are no lines for you.Copy !req
789. You are Samurai Hank,
the hero of Kakamucho!Copy !req
790. Oh, my gosh!
That's Samurai Hank,Copy !req
791. the hero of Kakamucho!Copy !req
792. "VIP." What's that mean?Copy !req
793. V.I.P.
Very Important Pooch.Copy !req
794. After you.
I don't—
I don't have any ID.Copy !req
795. You have something
better than ID.Copy !req
796. You have celebrity.Copy !req
797. Wait!Copy !req
798. Can I have your autograph,
Hank?Copy !req
799. Um, sure.Copy !req
800. Now this is what
being a top dog
is all about.Copy !req
801. Private table, Hank?Copy !req
802. Dog treat, Hank?
Scratch behind your ears, Hank?Copy !req
803. Oh, my gosh!
Can we take a picture with you?Copy !req
804. You look hot.
Who licks your hair?Copy !req
805. Thank you, Hank!Copy !req
806. You're my favorite
samurai!Copy !req
807. Is it everything
I promised?Copy !req
808. Don't get me wrong,
this is all so fantastic.Copy !req
809. It's just—Copy !req
810. You don't think that I'm being
a glory seeker, do you?Copy !req
811. Hank, never miss an opportunity
to pat yourself on the back.Copy !req
812. And there's no other place
I would rather you be tonight.Copy !req
813. You ready? Let's do this!Copy !req
814. Hyah!Copy !req
815. The ninjas are here!Copy !req
816. Samurai Hank!
The ninjas are...Copy !req
817. right here!Copy !req
818. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
819. Good job. Well done.Copy !req
820. Autograph,
lovely touch there.
Little bonus for you.Copy !req
821. Thank you. Thank you.
Good job. Well done.Copy !req
822. Jimbo.Copy !req
823. Yo, Jimbo! Jimbo.Copy !req
824. You're okay?
What happened here?Copy !req
825. The ninjas showed up
again last night.Copy !req
826. And where were you?
Having fun with your boss.Copy !req
827. What about you?Copy !req
828. I failed my oath
for the last time.Copy !req
829. Where's my sword?Copy !req
830. Right.Copy !req
831. They've taken Sumo
to the fortress dungeon.Copy !req
832. Now I'm going to get him back.Copy !req
833. I'll go with you.
We're both samurai and—Copy !req
834. You are not samurai!
You were a selfish idiot.Copy !req
835. Today, you are nothing.Copy !req
836. You just don't want to admit
that I beat Sumo.Copy !req
837. You never—
You really believe that?Copy !req
838. Edamame was responsible
for your greatest victory.Copy !req
839. Edamame?
What does that have to do—Copy !req
840. I failed to teach,
and you failed to learn.Copy !req
841. I've learned a lot
from you.Copy !req
842. Like when things
get tough,Copy !req
843. you can hide
in the bottom of a bottle.Copy !req
844. I'm sorry, Jimbo.
I— I didn't mean that.Copy !req
845. You're on the horse
backwards.Copy !req
846. Goodbye, dog.Copy !req
847. See ya, cat!Copy !req
848. Where were you,
"great samurai"?Copy !req
849. Hey, thanks for nothing!Copy !req
850. 'Cause guess what?
You did nothing!Copy !req
851. And I'm thanking you
sarcastically!Copy !req
852. Good, I'm out of here.Copy !req
853. Gonna get on the first boat
and get home and—Copy !req
854. That's right. Go.Copy !req
855. Emiko.
Go back home.Copy !req
856. Maybe my mom was right.Copy !req
857. Maybe dogs can't be samurai!Copy !req
858. It will always
remind you of who you are.Copy !req
859. What are you doing here?Copy !req
860. I couldn't help myself.
I'm a dog.Copy !req
861. That makes me loyal.Copy !req
862. So I'm here
to make things right.Copy !req
863. You really think
you can just come back here,Copy !req
864. and that makes everything okay?Copy !req
865. As a matter of fact, I do.
I'm back! You should be happy.Copy !req
866. Well, I'm not.Copy !req
867. You might as well turn around
and go back where you came from.Copy !req
868. I'm not going anywhere.Copy !req
869. Sumo is in there,Copy !req
870. and I'm not leaving
until we get him out.Copy !req
871. We can resolve
our differences later.Copy !req
872. What now?Copy !req
873. You defeat strength with smart.
Somebody taught me that.Copy !req
874. Um, do you have any ideas?Copy !req
875. This is smart?Copy !req
876. Huh?Copy !req
877. Watch your back!Copy !req
878. You do care.
Only about saving Sumo.Copy !req
879. You I could do without.Copy !req
880. Now what?Copy !req
881. We have to figure out
a way in.Copy !req
882. Pretty good idea, huh?
Stop wagging your tail.Copy !req
883. I didn't say it was a good idea,
I just said it doesn't suck.Copy !req
884. All right, genius,
which way?Copy !req
885. To the left.Copy !req
886. What do you got?Copy !req
887. Got a D-O-G who's D-O-A.Copy !req
888. Want to get him
out of sight, P-D-Q.Copy !req
889. A-S-A-P, huh? Okay.Copy !req
890. I'm not even
a full-time security guard!Copy !req
891. I'm just a temp!Copy !req
892. Let's roll, Fido.Copy !req
893. Okay.Copy !req
894. Now, this could be difficult
and might take a while,Copy !req
895. so let's split up.Copy !req
896. I'll take the areas
to the north and west.Copy !req
897. You go south and east.Copy !req
898. Let's try to be methodical
about this.Copy !req
899. There could be
thousands of cells here,Copy !req
900. and this could take hours,
maybe days.Copy !req
901. He's right over here.Copy !req
902. Hey, Sumo,
we're here to save you.Copy !req
903. Guess we should've
stolen some keys.Copy !req
904. Stand back.Copy !req
905. Well, at least you tried.Copy !req
906. Doggy door.Copy !req
907. Uh, complication
in the "saving him" department.Copy !req
908. Hank no need
to save Sumo.Copy !req
909. Sumo just prawn
in ocean of life.Copy !req
910. Of course we have to save you.
You're our friend.Copy !req
911. Friends?Copy !req
912. Sumo overcome
with emotion.Copy !req
913. While I appreciate
the bro-fest,Copy !req
914. we should probably
get out of here.Copy !req
915. Wait a second.
I've got to mark my territory.Copy !req
916. We don't have time
for that.Copy !req
917. But it's a dog thing.
I want them to know I was here.Copy !req
918. I even had asparagus
last night.Copy !req
919. We don't have time!Copy !req
920. We have to get back
to Kakamucho.Copy !req
921. When we get there,
what's the plan?Copy !req
922. At this moment,
it is not so important
what we doCopy !req
923. as it is important
that we do something.Copy !req
924. Not sure yet
what that something is.Copy !req
925. Remember!
Fear is only in your mind.Copy !req
926. And a little bit
in my kimono.Copy !req
927. Jimbo!Copy !req
928. Jimbo, no!
Both of you
get out of here.Copy !req
929. What about you?
Don't worry about me!Copy !req
930. You have to get back
to Kakamucho.Copy !req
931. But we're a team.Copy !req
932. No, I have to do this.
And there is no team in I.Copy !req
933. But there is an I in samurai.Copy !req
934. No!Copy !req
935. You can't die!
Our issues aren't resolved yet!Copy !req
936. Heimlich maneuver.Copy !req
937. Oh!Copy !req
938. You saved my life!
But you touched me.Copy !req
939. Aw!Copy !req
940. If that ever happens again,
let me die, okay?Copy !req
941. Now, what is it?Copy !req
942. The prisoner escaped.
Ah!Copy !req
943. You let the big cat
out of the bag, didn't you?Copy !req
944. Of course you did.Copy !req
945. Right. Okay.Copy !req
946. Now, someone is going to
pay for this.Copy !req
947. I'm not saying who,Copy !req
948. but probably someone
very, very stupid.Copy !req
949. Do you know
what a scapegoat is, Ohga?Copy !req
950. No, but if there's a goat
around here,Copy !req
951. I will have him arrested
immediately.Copy !req
952. Oh, brainless.
Absolute—Copy !req
953. And that goes
for all of you.Copy !req
954. Anyway, never mind.Copy !req
955. Um, I already have another plan
progressing nicely.Copy !req
956. A much bigger planCopy !req
957. with even more
deadly consequences.Copy !req
958. My lord,
pardon the intrusion.Copy !req
959. What is it?
It's the Super Bowl.Copy !req
960. It's overflowing!Copy !req
961. Jiggle the handle!
Jiggle the handle!Copy !req
962. Where's everyone going?Copy !req
963. Emiko, what's going on?Copy !req
964. Emiko?Copy !req
965. Emiko!
Look at this!
Have you read this?Copy !req
966. No.
Well, would you
read it to me?Copy !req
967. "Help wanted:
Vicious killersCopy !req
968. for the destruction
of Kakamucho.Copy !req
969. Prior criminal record a must.
An equal-opportunity employer."Copy !req
970. Can't you see this is
just the last act
of a desperate cat?Copy !req
971. We don't care if it's
the first act of Mamma Mia!Copy !req
972. We're leaving
before that army gets here.Copy !req
973. Right. How are we doing?
Let's see.Copy !req
974. Cutthroats, good.
Bounty hunters,Copy !req
975. desperados, biker gangs,
excellent.Copy !req
976. Mugs, thugs, nitwits, dimwits,
mobsters, muggers, bushwhackers.Copy !req
977. Hornswogglers, serial killers...Copy !req
978. Studio executives?Copy !req
979. Wow, it looks like
everyone's here. Great!Copy !req
980. What about him?Copy !req
981. Well, yes, he is scary,Copy !req
982. but in the wrong way.
Arrest him.Copy !req
983. Wait, wait!
Please, hear me out.Copy !req
984. You all need to know something.Copy !req
985. In an heroic effort
to protect your town,Copy !req
986. today we lost Jimbo.Copy !req
987. No, no, not Jimbo!Copy !req
988. Who's Jimbo?
I don't know.Copy !req
989. Didn't he date your sister?
No, that was Gumbo.Copy !req
990. Why did you even come back?Copy !req
991. We're leaving, Hank.Copy !req
992. We're all gonna start new lives
somewhere else.Copy !req
993. Sure. Go.Copy !req
994. After all, you're cats.
You've got nine lives, right?Copy !req
995. But I'm a dog.
I have one life.Copy !req
996. And the best thing that happened
to me in this one lifeCopy !req
997. is this town.Copy !req
998. You had faith in me.
You trusted me.Copy !req
999. And I want to earn
that trust back so bad,Copy !req
1000. I'm willing to lay my one life
down for your, uh...Copy !req
1001. Let's see, 247 times 9,
um, and then carry the 5...Copy !req
1002. 2,223.Copy !req
1003. 2,000?
223.Copy !req
1004. Right. Now what do you say?Copy !req
1005. Life is short,Copy !req
1006. and this movie
is only 85 minutes long,Copy !req
1007. not including end credits.Copy !req
1008. So we have to hurry.Copy !req
1009. If we're gonna save this town,Copy !req
1010. we have to find a way beyond
judging each other strictly onCopy !req
1011. labels like "dog" and "cat."Copy !req
1012. Together,
we can get past all that.Copy !req
1013. We can all be betterCopy !req
1014. together!Copy !req
1015. It's a metaphor,
saying we are all the same.Copy !req
1016. Look different on the outside,
but we can choose for ourselvesCopy !req
1017. what our insides look like.Copy !req
1018. See now, the big guy
makes a lot of sense.Copy !req
1019. Right? So, Sumo,
what do we do now?Copy !req
1020. So what do we do?Copy !req
1021. Well, step one,Copy !req
1022. we need to
destroy their lines
of communication.Copy !req
1023. I've cut
the telephone line!Copy !req
1024. Step two,Copy !req
1025. someone taught meCopy !req
1026. that we can make anything
out of folded paper.Copy !req
1027. Hmm.Copy !req
1028. How's everyone doing?
Feeling evil? Yeah?Copy !req
1029. Don't be stingy
with the poison on those arrows.Copy !req
1030. Everyone
get plenty to eat?Copy !req
1031. You can't crush the innocent
on an empty stomach, can you?Copy !req
1032. Enjoy the entréeCopy !req
1033. because dessert
is death and destruction.Copy !req
1034. Who knew an evil army
could go through
so many beans?Copy !req
1035. Right.
Assemble the troops!Copy !req
1036. Ah, the smell of victory
in the air.Copy !req
1037. Go!Copy !req
1038. Go, my terrible army!Copy !req
1039. Go to Kakamucho
and do your worst!Copy !req
1040. Oh, and don't forget,Copy !req
1041. save your receipts!Copy !req
1042. The signal. They're coming!Copy !req
1043. They're coming!Copy !req
1044. It's showtime.Copy !req
1045. All right,
everyone knows what to do.Copy !req
1046. This is the best bit,
isn't it?Copy !req
1047. Waiting for the death
and destruct—Copy !req
1048. Nah, the best bit
is the death and destruct—Copy !req
1049. This is the second best bit.Copy !req
1050. Kakamucho is going
out of business.Copy !req
1051. Everything must go!Copy !req
1052. Ah, yes!Copy !req
1053. Go, team, go!Copy !req
1054. They're falling for it!Copy !req
1055. They're falling for it!Copy !req
1056. Ichiro!
I'm right here.Copy !req
1057. You're up.Copy !req
1058. One, you got to account
for elevation and wind.
And two...Copy !req
1059. got to watch for birds.
Whoops.Copy !req
1060. Eh, bird got in the way.
Just try again.Copy !req
1061. I only had
the one bullet.Copy !req
1062. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
1063. They'll find out any minute
that we folded them a fake town.Copy !req
1064. Ah!Copy !req
1065. Ha.Copy !req
1066. We've been tricked!Copy !req
1067. Oh, my.Copy !req
1068. Time to
clean up this town.Copy !req
1069. Let's go get 'em!Copy !req
1070. Hi-yah!Copy !req
1071. Way to go, Emiko!
Woo-hoo!Copy !req
1072. Mom, you're embarrassing me.Copy !req
1073. Sit!Copy !req
1074. It's the Shogun!Copy !req
1075. What was that?Copy !req
1076. Now that's a car.Copy !req
1077. My Magnificence.Copy !req
1078. What in the wide, wide world
of sports is going on here?Copy !req
1079. That's him!
The troublemaking dog
that started all this.Copy !req
1080. Arrest that dog!Copy !req
1081. Arrest the dog.
Yes!Copy !req
1082. Ouch. Oh, come on.Copy !req
1083. Ohga,
take care of him!Copy !req
1084. Is he sick?Copy !req
1085. No, you simpleminded twit!
Finish him!Copy !req
1086. Hyah!Copy !req
1087. What the mother father
cocker spaniel's going on here?Copy !req
1088. Jimbo, you're alive!Copy !req
1089. So that's Jimbo!
See? He did date your sister.Copy !req
1090. Okay, okay,
that's enough.Copy !req
1091. Down, boy!Copy !req
1092. Jimbo, is that you?Copy !req
1093. Toshi?Copy !req
1094. You are the Shogun?Copy !req
1095. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
1096. It took years to work my way
up through the ranks,Copy !req
1097. but look at me now.Copy !req
1098. What happened to you?Copy !req
1099. I was shamed, my lord.
I am so, so sorry.Copy !req
1100. I ruined your birthday.
Are you kidding?Copy !req
1101. Best birthday party
I ever had!Copy !req
1102. Most surprise parties
are so boring.Copy !req
1103. But that year,
that was a real surprise.Copy !req
1104. I tell that story all the time.
Always brings the house down.Copy !req
1105. And the stuff
with your in-laws?Copy !req
1106. My in-laws, oh!
Please, don't get me started.Copy !req
1107. In-laws you don't pick.
Friends you choose.Copy !req
1108. And you, Jimbo,
are my friend.Copy !req
1109. So you forgive me?Copy !req
1110. Forgiven. Forgotten.
No biggie.Copy !req
1111. Hey, life's short. Like me.
Let's move on.Copy !req
1112. So, what's up with the dog?Copy !req
1113. That "dog"
was defending Kakamucho.Copy !req
1114. A dog defending the town?
Why?Copy !req
1115. Because Lord Ika here
was trying
to get rid of it.Copy !req
1116. Don't believe him!
I was just trying to
get rid of that dog!Copy !req
1117. You see? Nike Shoe was only
trying to get rid of the dog.Copy !req
1118. But, sir, that dog
isn't what you think he is.Copy !req
1119. He isn't?Copy !req
1120. I'm not following you.
Can someone else explain this?Copy !req
1121. Allow me.Copy !req
1122. Ika Chu wanted to
get rid of the dogCopy !req
1123. because he was getting
in the way of his planCopy !req
1124. to frighten the cats
of KakamuchoCopy !req
1125. so that he could
wipe their town off the mapCopy !req
1126. in order to make
his palace absolutely perfect.Copy !req
1127. Wha—?Copy !req
1128. Did I leave
anything out?Copy !req
1129. Brains?Copy !req
1130. Well, Peek-a-boo,Copy !req
1131. what do you got
to say for yourself?Copy !req
1132. You want an explanation?Copy !req
1133. You're gonna get one.Copy !req
1134. I am...Copy !req
1135. running away!Copy !req
1136. Looks like we got
a little more samurai-ing to do.Copy !req
1137. Huh?Copy !req
1138. Oh.Copy !req
1139. Ugh.Copy !req
1140. Oh, you—Copy !req
1141. Wait, wait, stop, stop!Copy !req
1142. Right.Copy !req
1143. I have something very important
to tell you, Hank.Copy !req
1144. What is it?Copy !req
1145. I am your father.Copy !req
1146. No, you're not.
No, I'm not.Copy !req
1147. I distracted you!Copy !req
1148. I'm certainly not about to
get outwitted by a stupid dogCopy !req
1149. who's not even a real samurai.Copy !req
1150. Oh, but you're wrong.
I am a real samurai.Copy !req
1151. I got a cup right here
that says so!Copy !req
1152. Grab on!Copy !req
1153. No! No, see— Ohga!Copy !req
1154. You don't understand
this concept, do you?Copy !req
1155. I will save you!Copy !req
1156. Oh, my.Copy !req
1157. No! Oh, no!Copy !req
1158. What the flush?Copy !req
1159. Ohga! Are you feeling
what I'm feeling?Copy !req
1160. I am, sir.Copy !req
1161. Thar she blows!Copy !req
1162. This palace is gonna blow.Copy !req
1163. And when it does, all this water
is going straight down to...Copy !req
1164. Kakamucho!Copy !req
1165. What can we do?
We don't have much time.Copy !req
1166. We've got to do
something.Copy !req
1167. One, please.Copy !req
1168. Guys, you got to help me!
The giant toilet is overflowing!Copy !req
1169. Have you tried to jiggle
the handle?Copy !req
1170. Too late for that.
But I have an idea.Copy !req
1171. We're listening.Copy !req
1172. But you better make it
snappy!Copy !req
1173. We've had our differences,Copy !req
1174. but the times
we've actually worked togetherCopy !req
1175. we've accomplished a lot.Copy !req
1176. So if you trust me,
I think we can save the town.Copy !req
1177. That was pretty snappy.
What do you want us to do?Copy !req
1178. Dig!Copy !req
1179. But cats don't dig.Copy !req
1180. Okay, so you don't dig.
Can you swim?Copy !req
1181. You heard him. Dig!Copy !req
1182. Hurry up!Copy !req
1183. No!Copy !req
1184. Where are they?Copy !req
1185. Help! Help!Copy !req
1186. Help!Copy !req
1187. Emiko!Copy !req
1188. I've got you.Copy !req
1189. Well, that pretty much
wraps things up.Copy !req
1190. Almost 85 minutes exactly.Copy !req
1191. All that's left
is appointing a new samurai
for Kakamucho.Copy !req
1192. Well, what do you say,
Jimbo?Copy !req
1193. Me, my lord?Copy !req
1194. Hey, why not? I can't think
of anyone better, can you?Copy !req
1195. I can. Kakamucho
already has a samurai.Copy !req
1196. The dog?Copy !req
1197. He can't be a samurai.Copy !req
1198. He can't be anywhere.
It's the law.Copy !req
1199. You know the rules:
"No dogs allowed."Copy !req
1200. It's not personal,
it's just business.Copy !req
1201. And you know what they say:
There's no business...Copy !req
1202. like Shogun business!Copy !req
1203. Exactally!Copy !req
1204. But he's not a dog.Copy !req
1205. He's—Copy !req
1206. He's my friend.Copy !req
1207. And more than that,
he's our samurai.Copy !req
1208. He is?Copy !req
1209. That's what I was trying
to tell you.Copy !req
1210. Wow. You live nine lives,
you get to see everything.Copy !req
1211. Who knew? A dog samurai.Copy !req
1212. Hank is not
a dog samurai.Copy !req
1213. Hank is a great samurai!Copy !req
1214. A truly great samurai!Copy !req
1215. Woof, woof, woof, woof!Copy !req
1216. Then I dub thee
Town Samurai of Kakamucho.Copy !req
1217. Actually, you already
officially appointed him.Copy !req
1218. I did?Copy !req
1219. Yeah, I had an official
samurai cup and everything.Copy !req
1220. Oh, well, if you
had an official cup
and everything—Copy !req
1221. and I don't know
what that means—Copy !req
1222. but I bet you don't have
an official sword.Copy !req
1223. Wait. Please wait.Copy !req
1224. Thank you.
But I can't accept this honor.Copy !req
1225. Why not?
Yeah, why not?Copy !req
1226. I have a contract
with my teacherCopy !req
1227. that says I haven't yet
finished my training.Copy !req
1228. But there is someone else that's
most deserving of this honor.Copy !req
1229. Emiko.Copy !req
1230. You are a true samurai.Copy !req
1231. The little one?Copy !req
1232. Yes, my lord.
She's always defended the town.Copy !req
1233. I will carry it with honor.Copy !req
1234. I know you will.Copy !req
1235. So how does it feel
to be a real samurai?Copy !req
1236. Good. But not as good
as it will feel someday
when I'm the Shogun.Copy !req
1237. The Shogun? You?Copy !req
1238. You know something?Copy !req
1239. That ain't such a bad idea.
Sure, why not?Copy !req
1240. And I got to tell you,
it's good to be the Shogun.Copy !req
1241. Milk's on me!Copy !req
1242. Kind of warms your heart,
doesn't it?Copy !req
1243. Ow! What's that for?
Defend yourself!Copy !req
1244. Wait, wait, stop!Copy !req
1245. Time-out. Stop.
No.Copy !req
1246. That hurts.
Got you again!Copy !req
1247. Ha-ha— Ow!Copy !req
1248. How does that feel?
This is my favorite part.Copy !req
1249. The part where you suffer.Copy !req
1250. There's lots of cats
in this world,Copy !req
1251. but nobody chases tail—Copy !req
1252. his own, or anybody else's—
as good as Hank.Copy !req
1253. It's like he's got nine lives,Copy !req
1254. and he's living them all
at the same timeCopy !req
1255. and to the fullest.Copy !req
1256. What, a canine?Copy !req
1257. Hank is a dog?Copy !req
1258. I thought we were singing
about a cat.Copy !req
1259. He's the coolest cat
who happens to be a dog.Copy !req
1260. No, uh-uh, no way.
We're out of here!Copy !req
1261. A slobbery dog can't be
no samurai. Please!Copy !req
1262. Hold your head high, Hank.Copy !req
1263. 'Cause you're gonna
show 'em all.Copy !req
1264. Even if you're a dog.Copy !req
1265. Argh! Doggone it.Copy !req
1266. Still, at least I don't have
to do the sequel.Copy !req