1. Last week, Flash Gordon
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2. defended the Witch Queen Azura
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3. from the attack of the Death dwarfs.
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4. Paul, having proclaimed himself
King of Blue Magic Land
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5. offered John the Hawkman
the command of the army...
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6. Go on, then, Paul.
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7. Don't be long.
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8. Paul?
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9. Paul?
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10. Paul.
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11. - He winked at me! He winked at me!
- Whoo!
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12. I love it here.
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13. You know, it feels so...
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14. - Right.
- Yeah.
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15. We're 5,339 miles from home
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16. and yet, somehow, I feel like we belong.
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17. I know what you mean.
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18. I think this is probably
the most fun I have ever had.
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19. I'm so glad we came, Clive.
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20. Clive?
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21. - May I?
- Be my guest.
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22. - Thank you.
- I was over there, on my own.
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23. That there is the Black Vampire.
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24. Watch out.
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25. She bites.
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26. How much?
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27. $1,349.99.
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28. Aren't you gonna get it?
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29. Fair enough.
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30. I can't believe we're gonna
meet Adam Shadowchild.
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31. I know.
He's, like, the coolest man in the world.
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32. Thank you.
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33. Come forth. Welcome, my friends.
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34. I just wanted to say that the Planet Fall
trilogy has been a huge influence
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35. on me and on my work.
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36. Don't tell me. You're a writer.
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37. - I am, yeah.
- Well, good.
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38. He actually won a Nebulon Award in 1992.
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39. For best science fiction short story
by a male under 16.
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40. - I'm working on a follow-up.
- Oh.
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41. Oh, I'd love to see that.
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42. Not today.
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43. No, no. It's a legal thing.
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44. I'm sure it's good.
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45. That is a wonderful cover. Three tits.
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46. Awesome.
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47. - That was Graeme, my illustrator.
- I'm an artist.
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48. I'm hoping to complete it soon.
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49. I'm just having a bit of trouble
with the ending.
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50. Well, a wise man said,
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51. "You have to spin a good yarn
before you can weave a great dream."
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52. Who said that?
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53. I did. I just said that.
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54. Move along, please, guys.
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55. Yes.
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56. - Very nice to meet you.
- No, no...
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57. Thank you.
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58. - You bought a book?
- No.
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59. Then fuck off.
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60. Let's get a picture of you, me and Adam.
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61. - Okay, ready.
- Ready.
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62. Yes.
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63. Yes.
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64. - Is that the RV place?
- Yes.
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65. And there's definitely two single beds?
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66. Because there's been
a bit of a mix-up at the hotel.
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67. Okay. Excellent. Thank you very much.
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68. And have a nice day to you, as well.
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69. - Is it here?
- It's in the car park.
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70. I think you mean "the parking lot."
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71. I sure do.
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72. I did my American voice.
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73. It's amazing, isn't it?
We're actually here. America.
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74. Huh?
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75. How long have we dreamt about this?
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76. - Since we were kids.
- Yeah.
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77. Now look at us. Grown men.
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78. Pizza!
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79. "Hi!
'Hiya!
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80. - Good evening, sir.
- Come on in.
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81. - Where can I set this down?
- You could put it on the bed.
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82. You guys on honeymoon?
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83. No.
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84. No, silly. We're just friends.
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85. We had a mix-up.
The reservations were messed up.
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86. Pop it on the table here. Let me clear that.
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87. - Ah, going on a road trip?
- Yeah. Yes.
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88. What better way to follow Comic-Con
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89. than a tour of America's
most famous UFO hotspots?
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90. Huh?
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91. We're going to Area 51
and the Black Mailbox in Nevada,
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92. then down to Camp Verde,
then to Apache Junction
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93. and then on down to Roswell, New Mexico
for the site of the famous crash of '47.
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94. - No.
- Everybody knows that.
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95. Stop it! It's an alleged site at this point.
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96. Why would they admit there was a crash,
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97. if the crash happened somewhere else?
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98. Let's just agree to disagree, all right?
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99. That's what we always say at the end.
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100. Do you believe in aliens?
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101. What do you mean, "aliens"?
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102. I'll sign that check, shall I?
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103. Get that out of your way.
Pizza grease on a map is the worst thing.
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104. We should turn in.
We got an early start in the morning.
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105. Yeah.
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106. What do you think
you're gonna dream about?
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107. Oh, the open road. High adventure.
That kind of thing.
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108. Mmm.
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109. - You?
- Wonder Woman.
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110. - Please don't.
- Okay.
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111. - You ready?
- Yeah.
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112. Okay. And...
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113. Three, two, one.
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114. What an amazing Con.
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115. That, my friend, was just the beginning.
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116. Here you go.
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117. That's not ours.
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118. No?
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119. No. That's ours.
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120. Fucking orcs!
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121. That one.
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122. Oh.
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123. Oh! People!
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124. Smile.
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125. "Watch the skies" or "Alien on board"?
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126. "Alien on board," please.
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127. Okay. If you're sure.
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128. So, how was Comic-Con?
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129. We met Adam Shadowchild.
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130. Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
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131. Oh, he wrote The Venusian Pangenesis.
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132. I didn't read that one.
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133. Jenny Starpepper and the Great Brass Hen?
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134. No.
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135. The Robots Mistress?
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136. I like romances.
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137. That's kind of a romance.
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138. - Between a woman and a machine?
- Yeah.
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139. I hear that.
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140. Do you get a lot of UFO types around here?
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141. Some.
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142. Do you believe?
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143. Oh, yes, I do.
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144. Been a lot of strange happenings
in these parts.
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145. Ah, it'd be a shame
if we were the only souls in the universe.
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146. Probability alone suggests not.
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147. You know, there are 200 billion galaxies
in the observable universe.
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148. Oh.
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149. Makes you think, doesn't it?
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150. What?
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151. Where is everybody?
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152. Boo!
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153. Oh.
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154. Gotcha.
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155. So, you fellows set
or can I get you something else?
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156. Oh, I think I would like
a refill of coffee, please, Pat.
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157. All right, then. How about you, pumpkin?
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158. Can I have an E.T. Malt, please?
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159. Mmm. You want that with a sparkler?
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160. Yeah.
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161. I will take that as a yes.
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162. I think I might do a toilet.
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163. Pretty funny.
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164. He's sitting right there on top of that bull,
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165. and he goes, Cut her loose."
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166. What?
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167. I don't know you.
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168. Ooh.
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169. Comics.
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170. What was that about?
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171. How you think that makes me feel?
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172. Be rude to me?
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173. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
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174. Ooh!
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175. an alien just sicked up in my palms.
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176. Clive...
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177. What?
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178. - I'm joking.
- Stop it.
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179. They've got a soap dispenser in there
shaped like an alien's head. It's brilliant!
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180. - Someone's here.
- What?
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181. Here it comes!
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182. What in...
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183. Hey, fellas! How you doing today?
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184. What is this, some kind of gay bar?
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185. No. Just a place
where you can get a bite to eat
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186. and maybe share a close encounter.
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187. Yeah. It sounds like a gay bar.
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188. Oh, no, we're just friends.
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189. So, you guys look like
you could do with a couple beers.
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190. You go do that.
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191. All right. You do that.
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192. Yes.
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193. Get a sip. I'll get this.
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194. Just leave it.
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195. Thank you very much.
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196. What are you doing?
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197. Don't you put those queer eyes on me.
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198. I'm not. I forgot the sticker.
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199. What took you so long?
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200. - I was putting the sticker on.
- Oh.
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201. They were an odd pair, weren't they?
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202. Yeah, definitely not my kind of people.
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203. I doubt very much
we'll be seeing them again.
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204. '(CRASFU
"Oh!
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205. - That wasn't their truck, was it?
- No.
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206. - Should I go and have a look?
- No!
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207. The Black Mailbox.
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208. WOW!
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209. This is probably the coolest thing
I've ever seen.
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210. Do you remember when we Googled it
on your mum's computer
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211. and the phone rang
and you thought it was the FBI?
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212. I didn't really think it was the FBI.
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213. - You started crying.
- I had jet lag.
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214. We'd only been to Brussels.
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215. Go stand next to it. Yep.
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216. Smile.
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217. Hey, imagine if we got buzzed by a craft.
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218. That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
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219. It just hovers over us
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220. and then all the coins in our pockets
go magnetic, and then we get sunburned.
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221. Then it just goes up really quickly.
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222. Smile!
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223. What would you do if they actually landed?
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224. Well, first contact
is a big responsibility, isn't it?
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225. They come in peace, we go to pieces? Uh-uh.
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226. That's not how I roll.
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227. No.
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228. What's that?
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229. Do you think that's those men?
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230. No.
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231. We've seen enough.
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232. Let's go.
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233. Go, go, go!
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234. Oh, they're gaining.
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235. This is like Deliverance!
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236. They're going to rape us and break our arms!
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237. I don't want my arms broken!
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238. - I need the toilet.
- You've just been!
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239. You know I've got a child's bladder.
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240. Don't let them get past!
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241. - What do you want me to do, ram them?
- What about the deposit?
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242. - It's not them! It's not them!
- Ah!
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243. Oh, my God.
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244. That was awful!
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245. That was terrifying!
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246. Hello?
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247. - Maybe you should call for help.
- Yeah.
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248. It's ringing.
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249. I wouldn't do that if I were you.
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250. Put the phone down.
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251. Oh, fuck me.
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252. - What have you done to him?
- I didn't do anything to him. He fainted.
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253. Yeah, but you made him faint!
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254. Yes. But it's not like
I set my phaser to "Faint."
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255. You've got a phaser?
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256. No, I don't... Look! Listen.
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257. Hey, I really need your help, okay?
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258. Can we get this guy back onto your wagon?
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259. Are you an alien?
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260. To you, lam, yes.
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261. Are you gonna probe us?
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262. Why does everyone always assume that?
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263. What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts?
How much can I learn from an ass?
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264. What?
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265. I'm sorry. What's your name?
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266. It's Graeme Willy.
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267. And what's his name?
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268. That's the writer, Clive Gollings.
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269. Okay, cool! I'm Paul.
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270. Paul?
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271. Yeah. It's a nickname that stuck.
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272. My ship crashed on a dog. It doesn't matter!
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273. Look! Can we get the writer,
Clive Gollings, back on the RV
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274. and get the hell out of here, please?
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275. - I can't...
- I'm in a hell of a pickle,
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276. and if you don't help me,
I could die on this road tonight.
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277. I don't know.
We're on quite a tight schedule.
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278. Look, man.
Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
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279. What do you say?
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280. - Okay.
- Okay! Perfect! Great!
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281. Okay, help me grab him.
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282. This man has peed his pants.
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283. Yeah, he's got a child's bladder.
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284. Oh, fantastic.
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285. Doesn't this thing go any faster?
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286. Well, I'm sorry, the speed limit is 70, so...
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287. Screw the speed limit! Actually, no.
Ooh, yeah. Don't screw it.
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288. That's good thinking. Okay?
Stay inconspicuous. That's good.
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289. How come I can understand you?
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290. Are you using some sort of
neural language router?
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291. Actually, I'm speaking English,
you fucking idiot.
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292. - That's not nice.
- That was mean.
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293. Look, I'm little tense.
I was just involved in a major car crash.
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294. That was your fault.
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295. I can't reach the pedals.
My legs are too little.
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296. I had to use the parking brake, okay?
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297. I'm sorry. You're in shock right now.
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298. I understand this must be
very weird for you.
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299. Just act normal and drive north, okay?
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300. We gotta get as much distance as we can
between us and the Big Guy.
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301. Zoil? What's happening?
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302. - He's gone.
- Shit!
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303. Looks like he hitched a ride, too.
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304. - What do you mean?
- Tire tracks.
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305. Bastard jacked a native?
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306. Could be two.
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307. Don't you think this is all
a bit of a coincidence?
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308. Are you suggesting he knew?
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309. Little fucker might have phoned home.
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310. There might even be a rescue party
on the way.
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311. Zoil, we need to break out the big guns.
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312. Do you think that that's wise?
The last thing we need is
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313. a 'nos-ha.
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314. Maybe you're right.
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315. Listen, I got two rookies on a special mission
75 clicks north of you.
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316. I'll have them set up a roadblock.
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317. These are just civilians.
Why don't you let me take care of it?
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318. You might need the extra muscle.
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319. Just keep them in the dark.
I don't want any loose ends.
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320. These roads can be treacherous at night.
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321. People get into accidents all the time.
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322. I like your thinking. Get it done.
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323. Heads up. We just got reassigned.
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324. Nice.
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325. What about the sandwich?
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326. - She said we can share it.
- Oh, I love this job.
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327. Mmm-hmm.
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328. Man, I needed that.
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329. I love pistachios.
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330. I hate it when you get a closed one, right?
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331. I usuallyjust bite them.
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332. No. You don't do that at all.
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333. You tap them, if they don't open
on their own, you throw them away.
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334. No, that's mussels.
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335. No, it's pistachios.
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336. - What the fuck?
- Clive, stop it! What are you doing?
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337. What are you?
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338. He's okay. He's fine. He's friendly.
His name's Paul.
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339. Aliens aren't called "Paul."
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340. Was that Klingon? You psychotic nerd!
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341. Paul is from a small M-class planet
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342. in the northern spiral arm
of the Andromeda Galaxy.
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343. Thank you.
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344. He looks too obvious.
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345. There's a reason for that, Clive.
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346. Over the last 60 years the human race
has been drip-fed images of my face
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347. on lunchboxes and T-shirts and shit.
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348. It's in case our species do meet,
you don't have a fucking spaz attack!
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349. I did not have a spaz attack!
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350. - Don't do it again!
- That's my fucking jorph.
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351. Get your fucking fingers out of there!
If I get a jorph infection, you're dead!
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352. - Oh, my God!
- Oh, shit!
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353. Paul.
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354. Paul?
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355. O'Okay, okay. This could be it.
So, what are we looking for, again?
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356. I don't know.
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357. - What brings you to USA?
- We're on holiday.
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358. We've been to Comic-Con.
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359. Comic-Con? Don't tell O'Reilly.
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360. - He loves that dweeb shit.
- Oh.
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361. You guys know Benny Hill?
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362. - No.
- No.
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363. O'Oh, my God! Look at this!
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364. - What?
- Look at this!
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365. What'?
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366. These guys have met Adam Shadowchild.
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367. Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
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368. He wrote The Jupiter Praxis.
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369. What?
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370. Jenny Starpepper
and the Huge White Gibbon?
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371. Huh?
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372. Night of the Moths?
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373. Are you speaking English?
What are you talking about?
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374. Brilliant! What was he like?
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375. He was a bit intense.
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376. Well, he's an artist.
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377. Let me see this. What is this, nerd porn?
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378. - No, that's Clive's...
- It's my novel.
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379. Okay.
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380. Ha. Three tits. That's awesome.
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381. You guys should have given her four tits.
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382. That's just sick.
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383. I was just saying.
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384. Hey, do you think this is it?
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385. Doubtful. What else did you find in there?
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386. Not much. Just some pissyjeans.
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387. - Clive's got a child's...
- Shut up.
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388. Sorry.
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389. - Okay. You guys can go.
- Thank you.
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390. Can I have my... Thank you very much.
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391. May I ask what you're searching for?
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392. No.
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393. Thank you. Come on, Graeme.
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394. Way to go, Dirty Harry!
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395. That was all right, right?
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396. - All right? That was great energy, man.
- Yeah. It was.
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397. That's it... ls right.
It was like... Not...
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398. - I thought it was okay.
- No, you're thinking about it too much.
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399. - You think so? Mmm-hmm.
- Oh, God. They were shaking in their boots.
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400. I think it's pretty obvious
what happened there, isn't it?
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401. IS it?
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402. The government used some kind of
neurotoxic paint on the Black Mailbox.
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403. It caused us to suffer
a shared hallucination about an alien.
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404. It makes complete sense.
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405. Wrong!
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406. Oh!
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407. Your dick is gone.
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408. Hmm. Your balls are gone.
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409. Oh, no!
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410. What'?
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411. Come on, grow up.
You guys seen my shorts?
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412. How did you do that?
How did you go invisible?
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413. Oh, it's a camouflage response.
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414. What, like, Predator?
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415. Exactly! Although I can only do it
while I'm holding my breath.
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416. But you can do it any time you want?
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417. Any time.
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418. That's just like him.
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419. Am I the only sane person here?
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420. Eh?
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421. It's all right for you, isn't it?
You'll go back to Area 51.
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422. We'll be arrested for harboring a fugitive
and sent to Guantanamo Bay!
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423. Why don't I go make
some bagels and coffee?
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424. Leave you two alone.
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425. What's the matter, Clive?
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426. There is an alien in the kitchenette,
making bagels and coffee.
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427. - Did you want tea?
- No, I don't want tea!
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428. Right, because tea is weird in America.
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429. They leave the bag in.
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430. What's weird, Graeme, is the fact that we've
picked up an extraterrestrial hitchhiker
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431. and you seem completely fine with it!
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432. Bagels and coffee
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433. Ooh! Marmite!
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434. He said his life's in danger.
He needs our help, you know?
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435. Sometimes, you've just gotta roll the dice.
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436. What if we wake up and find him
inserting a probe into our anus?
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437. Apparently, they don't do that.
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438. Anyone want one of these?
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439. Eh? Anyone? Anyone?
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440. Eh?
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441. Forty-eight, 49, 50.
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442. Coming! Ready or not, you son of a bitch.
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443. - Where's the other one?
- I don't know, sir.
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444. Haggard!
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445. Sorry, it's just, we were...
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446. Haggard!
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447. Fuck.
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448. Nice.
Copy !req
449. Get over here.
It's a guy with a badge.
Copy !req
450. We were just playing hide and seek,
because we had a lot of time.
Copy !req
451. Hurry up!
Copy !req
452. I was hiding.
Copy !req
453. You have any traffic through here?
Copy !req
454. No, just a couple of hillbilly types
and two nerds in an RV.
Copy !req
455. Nerds, huh?
Copy !req
456. Yes, they were coming from Comic-Con.
They met Adam Shadowchild.
Copy !req
457. Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
Copy !req
458. He wrote Prisonhulk Four-Forty-One, okay?
Copy !req
459. Jenny Starpepper and the Spitting Worm.
Fluxing Uranus.
Copy !req
460. You know you're a grown man, right?
Copy !req
461. Probably shave, pay taxes, have pubic hair?
Copy !req
462. All of those things.
Copy !req
463. - Did you search that vehicle?
- O'Yes, sir.
Copy !req
464. - What did you find?
- Nothing much.
Copy !req
465. Just a book with a green woman
with three titties.
Copy !req
466. Titties. Three titties.
Copy !req
467. Three tits. That's awesome.
Copy !req
468. Oh, and some pissyjeans.
Copy !req
469. - Guy pissed himself.
- Close that.
Copy !req
470. I don't know if he had
a pre-existing problem or...
Copy !req
471. Listen to me, Frik and Fuck.
Copy !req
472. I want everything you can remember
about the pissy nerds, okay?
Copy !req
473. We're leaving.
Copy !req
474. What about the roadblock, sir?
Copy !req
475. It didn't work.
Copy !req
476. We gotta take down that roadblock.
It didn't work.
Copy !req
477. I'm standing right next to you.
Copy !req
478. Hey!
Copy !req
479. Reese's Pieces! Yes!
Copy !req
480. Thank you.
Copy !req
481. I heard there was a commotion
on the road after Rachel.
Copy !req
482. Funny, I didn't hear nothing.
Copy !req
483. - It must have been the boys out at the base.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
484. Hey.
Copy !req
485. - That's a bit much, isn't it?
- What?
Copy !req
486. - Put it all back.
- Oh.
Copy !req
487. Except the donuts and the chocolate milk.
Copy !req
488. And the burritos, Cheetos and Fritos.
Copy !req
489. - What about Paul's Reese's Pieces?
- Just hurry up. Please.
Copy !req
490. No, you go right ahead.
Copy !req
491. Are you sure? Thank you. Thank you.
Copy !req
492. - That beast outside yours?
- What?
Copy !req
493. - What do you mean "beast"?
- Your RV?
Copy !req
494. Oh, the... Yes. The RV is...
Copy !req
495. No... Yes.
Copy !req
496. Where are you boys from?
Copy !req
497. - England.
- England.
Copy !req
498. I heard about England. No guns.
Copy !req
499. - Not many.
- Not really.
Copy !req
500. Just, you know, farmers.
Copy !req
501. How are police supposed to shoot anybody?
Copy !req
502. - They don't.
- They try not to.
Copy !req
503. That'll be $15.58.
Copy !req
504. $20. Just keep the change,
and give it to charity, or something.
Copy !req
505. You did amazing, Graeme!
Copy !req
506. That cop didn't suspect a thing!
Copy !req
507. And, Clive,
Copy !req
508. you didn't pee your pants.
Copy !req
509. I don't mean to be a stick in the mud,
but you are asking a lot of us, all right?
Copy !req
510. We've only just met,
we don't know where we're going, or why.
Copy !req
511. You don't think we're due an explanation?
Copy !req
512. Look, the less you guys know, the better.
Copy !req
513. I want you to have plausible deniability.
Copy !req
514. Let's just say I spent a long time
at that base thinking I was a guest.
Copy !req
515. Turns out
Copy !req
516. I was a prisoner.
Copy !req
517. But don't worry. I got it all under...
Copy !req
518. Fuck, that made me jump.
Copy !req
519. Poor little thing!
Copy !req
520. Nothing you could've done, mate.
Copy !req
521. What you doing?
Copy !req
522. Just watch.
Copy !req
523. It's a miracle!
Copy !req
524. Man, I'm gonna miss these. Mmm.
Copy !req
525. Why would you do that?
Copy !req
526. I'm not going to eat a dead bird, am I?
Copy !req
527. Going out of my mind
Copy !req
528. You got me thinking that I'm wasting my time
Copy !req
529. Don't bring me down
Copy !req
530. Come on, guys!
Copy !req
531. 11200,12200!11200,12200!
Copy !req
532. Come on! It's fun!
Copy !req
533. If you think about it, it's time travel.
Copy !req
534. 11 ZOO, 1220C)!
Copy !req
535. Yes! All right!
Copy !req
536. Let me see.
No, just sit still.
Copy !req
537. You gonna draw me
like one of your French girls, Jack?
Copy !req
538. I'm joking. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
539. Just don't make me look fat, okay?
Earth's gravity adds 10 pounds.
Copy !req
540. Paul, could I ask you a question?
Copy !req
541. Shoot!
Copy !req
542. Have you ever done that to a person?
Copy !req
543. Yes, I've eaten many people.
Copy !req
544. Rm IQKiHQ, big guy. Relax.
Copy !req
545. No, I mean, fix them.
Copy !req
546. Oh. No. Not a dead person.
Copy !req
547. Recently dead bird? That's one thing.
Dead person? Whole other ball game.
Copy !req
548. It's actually really dangerous for me.
The damage can bounce back onto me and...
Copy !req
549. Oh, I'm sorry. Am I boring you?
Have you heard this one before?
Copy !req
550. Are you tired, Sausage?
Copy !req
551. Don't call me that in front of him.
Copy !req
552. Are you tired, though?
Copy !req
553. 599V, I'm bushed.
Copy !req
554. You know what? We're all tired.
Copy !req
555. Let's just pull over
and stop for the night, huh?
Copy !req
556. We're fugitives, Paul, all right?
Copy !req
557. I refuse to just sit around and wait
to get fingered by the Men in Black.
Copy !req
558. We just gotta find somewhere quiet.
We won't draw attention to ourselves.
Copy !req
559. But where are we going, Paul?
Copy !req
560. Oh, you'll know it when you see it.
Copy !req
561. O'Two white guys?
Two strange white guys.
Copy !req
562. O'Strange white guys. Got it.
Order anything weird?
Copy !req
563. Chocolate milk.
Copy !req
564. Chocolate... Chocolate? Chocolate...
Copy !req
565. Zoil, report.
Copy !req
566. We've tracked him to a gas station in Ely.
Copy !req
567. We think he may be traveling in an RV
with two men from England.
Copy !req
568. New England?
Copy !req
569. Old England.
Copy !req
570. Creepy. What are they, MI6?
Copy !req
571. Negative. Just a couple of nerds
on the lam from Comic-Con.
Copy !req
572. My sister's kid went to that.
Copy !req
573. Little manga faggot.
Copy !req
574. Zoil, something doesn't feel right.
I think he had help on the inside.
Copy !req
575. I want those nerds iced
Copy !req
576. and that little green prick
either back in his fishbowl or dead ASAP:
Copy !req
577. I'm closing in. I can feel it.
Copy !req
578. In 24 hours he's gonna wish
he never set foot on planet Earth.
Copy !req
579. Good.
Copy !req
580. Okay. Here we are.
This is the place.
Copy !req
581. Yeah, this looks good.
Copy !req
582. It doesn't look like
anyone's been murdered here.
Copy !req
583. Awfully quiet.
Copy !req
584. Quiet's good, Graeme. Quiet's our friend.
Copy !req
585. Hi, there.
Copy !req
586. There's a girl outside.
Copy !req
587. Okay. All right. Look.
Copy !req
588. We're just a couple of regular guys
Copy !req
589. on a tour of the less touristy side
of the American Midwest.
Copy !req
590. I don't think she heard you.
Copy !req
591. I'm talking to you.
Copy !req
592. Oh, sorry.
Copy !req
593. Hi. I'm Ruth Buggs.
Copy !req
594. Good evening, Ruth.
I am the writer, Clive Gollings.
Copy !req
595. This is my friend and cohort,
Mr. Graeme Willy.
Copy !req
596. Hi.
Copy !req
597. Have you got room?
Copy !req
598. Sure. Yeah, park in bay nine.
Copy !req
599. It's $25 a night, including hookups
Copy !req
600. and I'll need an ID to hold onto.
Copy !req
601. Okay.
Copy !req
602. We're just a couple of regular guys
Copy !req
603. on a tour of the less touristy side
of the American Midwest.
Copy !req
604. - How exciting.
- I know.
Copy !req
605. There you go. It's my passport.
Copy !req
606. The UK. I love the UK.
Copy !req
607. - Have you been?
- No.
Copy !req
608. You should go.
Copy !req
609. Oh. Okay.
Copy !req
610. No, no, I meant, you should go to London.
Copy !req
611. There's a lot of places I want to go.
Copy !req
612. Ruth! Ruth! Get in here!
Copy !req
613. I'll be by in the morning to get your money
Copy !req
614. so have a pleasant evening now, won't you?
Copy !req
615. Thank you.
Thank you.
Copy !req
616. - Bye.
- And you. Bye.
Copy !req
617. She was lovely.
Copy !req
618. Why don't you just marry her, then?
Copy !req
619. Boo!
Copy !req
620. Every time, it works!
Copy !req
621. That was 30 seconds ago, I did it.
Copy !req
622. - What took you so long?
- I was just talking, Papa.
Copy !req
623. Well, you talk too much.
Copy !req
624. Sorry, Papa.
Copy !req
625. Huh?
Copy !req
626. Hello.
Copy !req
627. - You want a cigarette?
- No, thanks. I don't smoke.
Copy !req
628. - Can I ask you something?
- Yeah, sure.
Copy !req
629. - You and Graeme, are you guys...
- What?
Copy !req
630. You know...
Copy !req
631. You know! You guys, two guys...
Copy !req
632. Fucking kidding me?
Copy !req
633. What are you...
Copy !req
634. - I don't know what you mean.
- Gay!
Copy !req
635. No! Why do people keep saying that?
Copy !req
636. No, I was just wondering.
Copy !req
637. It's totally cool if you are.
Everyone's bi on my planet.
Copy !req
638. It's all about the pleasure thing.
You know what I'm saying?
Copy !req
639. Why are you here, Paul?
Copy !req
640. Oh, I was here on a science mission, actually,
Copy !req
641. and then I had some
spaceship-related problems,
Copy !req
642. and I kind of crashed.
Copy !req
643. Lucky for me though,
this little girl,
Copy !req
644. she pulls me out of the wreck.
Copy !req
645. Next thing I know, guys arrive,
cart me off to the base.
Copy !req
646. What have you been doing here
all this time?
Copy !req
647. I've been kicking back, man.
I've been shooting the shit.
Copy !req
648. I've been advising the government.
Copy !req
649. Not just the government.
Copy !req
650. I want him
to have some kind of a special power.
Copy !req
651. Something messianic.
Copy !req
652. Okay, Steven,
how about cellular revivification?
Copy !req
653. Yeah, I don't know what that is.
Copy !req
654. Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue
Copy !req
655. through telepathic manipulation
of intrinsic field memory.
Copy !req
656. - What's that mean?
- It means healing, Mr. Spielberg.
Copy !req
657. Yeah, right. Healing.
Copy !req
658. By touch, or something like that.
Copy !req
659. Maybe his finger lights up at the end
when he reaches out and touches?
Copy !req
660. Maybe. You know, sometimes
I find less is more.
Copy !req
661. Hey. Trust me.
Copy !req
662. You'd be surprised how much
he's influenced popular culture
Copy !req
663. over the last 60 years.
Copy !req
664. Agent Mulder was right.
Copy !req
665. - Agent Mulder was my idea!
- Really?
Copy !req
666. - Wow!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
667. That's cool.
Copy !req
668. Pump that shit, Earth-man. I like this song.
Mmm.
Copy !req
669. Marvin's my boy.
Copy !req
670. Come on. Break it down a bit, boys.
Copy !req
671. Don't be afraid.
Copy !req
672. Yeah, look at me, I'm breaking it down.
Copy !req
673. Use them tongs.
Copy !req
674. Dance with those tongs.
Copy !req
675. Stoke the fire!
Copy !req
676. Ooh! Ooh!
Copy !req
677. Yes.
Copy !req
678. Yee-haw!
Copy !req
679. Ruth! Prayers!
Copy !req
680. I don't know the words to this song.
Copy !req
681. No one does!
Copy !req
682. Hey! Guys, let's get fucked up.
Copy !req
683. Oh, who's knocking? Stop it.
Copy !req
684. - What are you doing?
- Oh, shut up.
Copy !req
685. I'll hide in here.
Copy !req
686. - Don't come out.
- Why would I come out?
Copy !req
687. - Who is it?
- It's Ruth.
Copy !req
688. Ooh... Don't you dare open that door.
Copy !req
689. - Hi.
- Hello.
Copy !req
690. Good morning. May I come in?
Copy !req
691. - No. I don't think you should come in.
- Yeah. Make yourself at home.
Copy !req
692. - I'm not really dressed.
- Sure. In you come.
Copy !req
693. Oh, was everything okay?
Copy !req
694. - Yes it was. It was very nice. The best. Ever.
- Yes, thank you. Adequate.
Copy !req
695. So, where's the other one?
Copy !req
696. The other one? It's just...
Copy !req
697. Oh, oh.
It's okay, we don't charge by the person.
Copy !req
698. There were three shadows I saw
dancing around the RV last night, right?
Copy !req
699. - The other one. The other one.
- Oh... He...
Copy !req
700. I'm in the can. I ate a closed pistachio.
Copy !req
701. I'm paying for it.
Copy !req
702. - That's a nice T-shirt.
- Oh, thanks. I got it at my church.
Copy !req
703. It's Jesus shooting Charles Darwin.
Copy !req
704. Why would Jesus
want to shoot Charles Darwin?
Copy !req
705. Because of his blasphemous theories.
Copy !req
706. Are you men of God?
Copy !req
707. We're men of science, you know.
Copy !req
708. We believe in the establishment
of a biological order
Copy !req
709. through the maelstrom
of physical and chemical chaos.
Copy !req
710. God created the Earth in six days,
and on the seventh day he rested.
Copy !req
711. Really?
Copy !req
712. Or it could be God. You don't know, do you?
It's up in the air.
Copy !req
713. The world is 4,000 years old and can only
be the product of intelligent design.
Copy !req
714. - Oh, that's horseshit.
- Oh!
Copy !req
715. All right, well, then,
Copy !req
716. please explain how something
as complex as the human eye
Copy !req
717. simplyjust comes into being.
Copy !req
718. Oh, don't give me that old
irreducible complexity crap.
Copy !req
719. Something as intricate as that
does not just occur
Copy !req
720. without the intervention of a guiding hand.
Copy !req
721. It didn't just occur!
Copy !req
722. It is the culmination
of billions of years of development
Copy !req
723. across countless fucking species.
Copy !req
724. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
725. - Evolution, baby.
- Oh!
Copy !req
726. - Blasphemy!
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
727. Nothing that you can say or do
can shake my belief or faith
Copy !req
728. in the sure and certain knowledge
that God made heaven and earth
Copy !req
729. and created us all in His own image.
Copy !req
730. - Oh, his own image?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
731. Well, I got a question.
Copy !req
732. How do you explain me?
Copy !req
733. She's going, she's falling. Catch...
Copy !req
734. And that's Jenga.
Copy !req
735. - Why did you do that?
- She fainted!
Copy !req
736. We've gone through this! They faint!
Copy !req
737. But we're going to have to
take her with us now!
Copy !req
738. No! No!
Copy !req
739. This is America. Kidnapping a Christian?
That's worse than harboring a fugitive.
Copy !req
740. But she's seen you.
If we leave her, she's going to call the police!
Copy !req
741. Who gives a shit? No one's going to
believe this God-bothering Cyclops.
Copy !req
742. Let's just dump her on the road!
Just roll her up in the rug.
Copy !req
743. We can't risk that! If we take her with us,
then we can get her on our side!
Copy !req
744. You'd love to get her on her side,
wouldn't you?
Copy !req
745. That doesn't make sense.
Copy !req
746. Look. She'll be fine. We're quite nice.
Copy !req
747. All right. What about my passport?
Copy !req
748. Oh, God! You guys.
Copy !req
749. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
750. NQ!
Copy !req
751. Oh, shit.
Copy !req
752. Ruth, what in the Lord's name...
Copy !req
753. - Morning.
- Morning.
Copy !req
754. Go, go, go!
Copy !req
755. Oh, fuck.
Copy !req
756. Show yourself, demon!
Copy !req
757. Where are you? Where are you?
Copy !req
758. Passport! Passport!
Copy !req
759. Jump! Jump!
Copy !req
760. What? That's actually small on my planet.
Copy !req
761. Ruth?
Copy !req
762. Hello, Ruth, would you like a cup of tea?
Copy !req
763. Where am I?
Copy !req
764. Hey, look who's awake.
Copy !req
765. Demon! Demon!
Copy !req
766. We're sorry.
We're not going to hurt you, I promise.
Copy !req
767. And we'll let you go just as soon as we can.
Copy !req
768. You've been deceived
by an agent of Satan himself.
Copy !req
769. - He's evil!
- I'm sitting right here, come on!
Copy !req
770. No, he's not evil, he's just a bit rude.
We're trying to help him get home.
Copy !req
771. He's from another world.
Copy !req
772. There's only one world, our world!
The world that our God, the Father, created!
Copy !req
773. If it makes you feel any better
Copy !req
774. my existence
only disproves traditional notions
Copy !req
775. of the Abrahamic, Judeo-Christian God,
Copy !req
776. as well as all one-world theologies.
That's all I meant.
Copy !req
777. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
Copy !req
778. You can't win with these people!
Copy !req
779. Ruth, just listen to me, for one second.
Please, if you could just calm down.
Copy !req
780. I can't drive like this.
Copy !req
781. She's talking in tongues now? Fuck this.
Copy !req
782. O'n.
Copy !req
783. What did you do to her?
Copy !req
784. I just transferred
my collective knowledge and experience
Copy !req
785. via a tactile psychokinetic bridge.
Copy !req
786. Ooh, wow, could you do me?
Copy !req
787. It really takes it out of me.
Copy !req
788. Oh, go on, please.
Copy !req
789. QP AUL GRUNT S)
Copy !req
790. Oh, wow!
Copy !req
791. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
792. He always knew what was going on
in Battlestar before me
Copy !req
793. 'cause his mum had cable.
Copy !req
794. Fine, pull over. I'll do you.
Copy !req
795. Absolutely not. No spoilers.
Copy !req
796. I didn't call the government.
I called the police!
Copy !req
797. This is not the police's area of expertise,
Mr. Buggs.
Copy !req
798. - That devil took my daughter.
- What do you mean, devil?
Copy !req
799. And your daughter's name is Ruth, is it?
Copy !req
800. That's right. I brought her up
by myself after her mama died.
Copy !req
801. Do you have a photograph of Ruth, sir?
Copy !req
802. Yeah. She's pretty easy to spot.
Copy !req
803. She's had this eye thing
since she was four years old.
Copy !req
804. Didn't want to take her
to a doctor for that?
Copy !req
805. The good Lord is the only doctor
she'll ever need.
Copy !req
806. Copy that. Do you have a phone here
Copy !req
807. that your daughter might try to
reach you at if she decides to call?
Copy !req
808. Yeah, in the back.
Copy !req
809. Hey, Peter Parker. Want to put the snappy
down and get to the phone?
Copy !req
810. Right.
Copy !req
811. She'll call me if she can.
Copy !req
812. You mentioned they went east?
That's right.
Copy !req
813. They'll get off the 191 after Flaming Gorge
Copy !req
814. if they ain't on the interstate.
Copy !req
815. There's been a big-rig spill...
Copy !req
816. Here we go. Boys, to the car.
Copy !req
817. Thank you very, very much for your time, sir.
Copy !req
818. Promise me you'll kill that thing, Mr. Zoil.
Kill it for what it is.
Copy !req
819. We're gonna do our best.
Copy !req
820. - I've seen its eyes.
- Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
821. It's evil.
Copy !req
822. Godspeed, Mr. Zoil.
Copy !req
823. First 48 are crucial.
Copy !req
824. Sir, you mind telling us
what we're looking for?
Copy !req
825. Yeah, what are we looking for?
Copy !req
826. I told you this is a need-to-know operation.
Copy !req
827. Yes, sir, but...
Copy !req
828. Damn it.
Copy !req
829. Sir, I think it's time you tell us.
Copy !req
830. Hey, just do
what the fuck I tell you, Haggard.
Copy !req
831. Now let's go find that crazy old bastard's
little girl before it's too late.
Copy !req
832. Ruth!
Copy !req
833. Ruth, wait!
Copy !req
834. Leave me alone!
Copy !req
835. Please, please, stop. I've got shin splints.
Copy !req
836. He cannot be from space! It's not possible.
Copy !req
837. He's from somewhere else.
Copy !req
838. Ruth, you saw it for yourself, okay?
He showed you.
Copy !req
839. There's probably billions
of intelligent civilizations out there.
Copy !req
840. So where is everybody? Hmm?
Copy !req
841. But one of them's there!
Copy !req
842. Are they looking? Are they looking?
Copy !req
843. Are they looking right now?
Copy !req
844. Sorry.
Copy !req
845. That's pathetic.
Copy !req
846. What's your beef, Clive?
Copy !req
847. I don't have a beef.
Copy !req
848. I'm from outer space.
You're a science-fiction writer.
Copy !req
849. We should be best buds.
Copy !req
850. It's not you.
Copy !req
851. It's me.
Copy !req
852. Is that what this is? You're jealous? Of her?
Copy !req
853. It's not just that.
Copy !req
854. Whoa.
Copy !req
855. Of me?
Copy !req
856. This is because me and Graeme
Copy !req
857. got two minutes of face-time
while you were sleeping?
Copy !req
858. - Is that what this is?
- I wanted this to be special, you know?
Copy !req
859. I have dreamt about meeting you
Copy !req
860. ever since I saw Mac and Me.
Copy !req
861. And I blew it.
Copy !req
862. Now you two are friendly,
and he's off talking to girls
Copy !req
863. and it's like, where am I?
Copy !req
864. Come on, man.
Copy !req
865. This is special.
Copy !req
866. You guys being all nerdy and shit
and meeting me. That is fate.
Copy !req
867. Who cares if you pissed your pants, man?
Copy !req
868. When I first got here,
first time I saw a human, I puked.
Copy !req
869. You guys are weird looking.
Copy !req
870. You have giant bodies.
You have tiny, little, tiny heads.
Copy !req
871. - You're just being nice now.
- No.
Copy !req
872. Look, you want a little sugar?
Copy !req
873. It's just knowledge and experience, man.
Copy !req
874. You're a writer.
Might give you some inspiration.
Copy !req
875. Will it hurt?
Copy !req
876. Only if you struggle.
Copy !req
877. All right.
Copy !req
878. So, everything that I have been told
my whole life
Copy !req
879. is just a big fat lie.
Copy !req
880. Do you know how that feels?
Copy !req
881. Just because your truth isn't a true truth
doesn't mean that there is no truth, Ruth.
Copy !req
882. - That's easy for you to say.
- It's really not.
Copy !req
883. So there's no heaven.
No hell, no right, no wrong, no sin?
Copy !req
884. Well...
Copy !req
885. - I can drink?
- If you like.
Copy !req
886. - I can fornicate?
- Maybe.
Copy !req
887. - I can curse?
- Well, yeah.
Copy !req
888. - Penises!
- Ruth.
Copy !req
889. Assing, hairy boobs, poop-farting buttholes!
Copy !req
890. Ruth, I'm not sure this is helping.
Copy !req
891. What are you doing?
Copy !req
892. - Stop it!
- Why? Why should I stop?
Copy !req
893. This is not...
Copy !req
894. Because you have your whole life
to explore new things.
Copy !req
895. Okay?
Copy !req
896. It doesn't necessarily mean
you should be exploring mine right now.
Copy !req
897. You said you wanted to travel,
to see new stuff? This is your chance.
Copy !req
898. I really think you should come with us.
Copy !req
899. Where would I sleep?
Copy !req
900. I'll sleep on the sofa.
And then you can have my bed.
Copy !req
901. But I'd push the tissues off with a pen,
if I were you, because I've had a cold.
Copy !req
902. Oh.
Copy !req
903. Ruth has decided
that she would like to come with us.
Copy !req
904. Wicked.
Copy !req
905. I'm gonna go freshen up.
Copy !req
906. Hey, Ruth. Wait up.
Copy !req
907. You don't smoke.
Copy !req
908. I just wanted to say thanks.
Copy !req
909. I know this has been weird for you,
Copy !req
910. but you saved my life
and I owe you one, okay?
Copy !req
911. Okay.
Copy !req
912. What have you got there, by the way?
Copy !req
913. Severe epiretinal membrane complicated by
macular edema in your left vitreous cavity?
Copy !req
914. How did you know that?
Copy !req
915. Lucky guess.
Copy !req
916. Do you mind if I take a look at it
for one second?
Copy !req
917. What does it say in the Old Testament?
"An eye for an eye"?
Copy !req
918. - Wait, I don't...
- It's okay. You can trust me.
Copy !req
919. - I don't know...
- Just have a little faith, okay?
Copy !req
920. Oh!
Copy !req
921. How did you do that?
Copy !req
922. Evolution, baby.
Copy !req
923. - Graeme?
- Yeah?
Copy !req
924. Oh, my God. Clive.
Copy !req
925. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
926. What are you going to do?
Come on. Make your move.
Copy !req
927. Oh, shit. Damn it.
Copy !req
928. Hey, check it out! Check it out!
Copy !req
929. Huh?
Copy !req
930. This is easy.
Copy !req
931. Small corrections, Paul.
Just make small corrections.
Copy !req
932. Graeme, hit the brakes!
Copy !req
933. Hey, there, sleepy face!
Copy !req
934. Fuckeroo. That was the best
titty-farting sleep I have ever had.
Copy !req
935. I got a feeling
that you're new to cursing, Ruth.
Copy !req
936. Look, cursing's fun.
You just gotta pick your moments, okay?
Copy !req
937. Maybe we should stop for some food.
ls anybody hungry?
Copy !req
938. - Fuck, yeah!
- Ruth?
Copy !req
939. You bet your big, fat cock I am!
Copy !req
940. Nice!
Copy !req
941. I'm starving.
Copy !req
942. What's new, fatty?
Copy !req
943. - It's not fat, Paul, it's power.
- Fat power.
Copy !req
944. - So rude.
- You're rude.
Copy !req
945. Maybe I should call my dad.
Copy !req
946. - What?
- What? Why?
Copy !req
947. I've been gone for a whole day
Copy !req
948. and if he calls the police,
they're gonna be looking for us.
Copy !req
949. If I don't, there's a good chance
we could all end up in Shit-Butt City.
Copy !req
950. You're really getting the hang of this.
Copy !req
951. Thanks, dick milk.
Copy !req
952. - I won't be long.
- Okay. Be careful.
Copy !req
953. - Ruth Buggs?
- Yes?
Copy !req
954. Listen to me carefully.
I want you to tell me where you are.
Copy !req
955. Who is this?
Copy !req
956. My name is Agent Zoil,
Copy !req
957. and it's very important that you tell me
where you are
Copy !req
958. and where you are headed, Ms. Buggs.
Copy !req
959. I can't tell you.
Copy !req
960. I mean, I don't know.
Copy !req
961. You've been abducted.
Copy !req
962. And the individual that you're traveling with
is highly dangerous.
Copy !req
963. Oh, no, he's not dangerous.
Copy !req
964. I mean, he's kind of rude, he curses a lot,
Copy !req
965. and a couple times
I've seen him scratch his spaceman balls.
Copy !req
966. Please listen to me.
Your father is extremely worried about you
Copy !req
967. and we'd like to get you home, Ms. Buggs.
Copy !req
968. He showed me things.
Copy !req
969. She's talking about his spaceman balls.
Copy !req
970. You know I'm just trying to help you,
right, Ruth?
Copy !req
971. I don't know what's real anymore.
I'm confused.
Copy !req
972. - We got the bitch!
- O'Yeah, dog! Up high!
Copy !req
973. Damn it, Haggard! Miss...
Copy !req
974. Hey.
Copy !req
975. Whoa, slow down there, baby.
Copy !req
976. - Excuse me, I have to get to my friends.
- Oh.
Copy !req
977. I got a friend down here
that would love to meet you.
Copy !req
978. Me, too.
Copy !req
979. Well, as much as I would like
to meet your penises,
Copy !req
980. I'm in a hurry, so excuse me.
Copy !req
981. Now, this won't take long, sugar.
Copy !req
982. Nope. Won't take long at all.
Copy !req
983. Well, since you're both being so romantic,
maybe I could
Copy !req
984. give it just a quick hello.
Copy !req
985. {PUNCHES)
What the fuck? Shit!
Copy !req
986. Now, why would you even...
Copy !req
987. OW! My balls!
Copy !req
988. - Hey.
- Hey, how's your dad?
Copy !req
989. - We gotta go.
- What about the mini pizzas?
Copy !req
990. - We gotta go now!
- No, you don't!
Copy !req
991. Holy shit!
Copy !req
992. It's the space faggots
that dinged the fuck-mobile!
Copy !req
993. - Yeah. We were just leaving.
- I don't feel well.
Copy !req
994. - I don't think so.
- Leave her alone!
Copy !req
995. Oh, shit! Sailors!
Copy !req
996. - Let's go.
- Sorry!
Copy !req
997. Excuse me, miss.
Copy !req
998. Papa?
Copy !req
999. Ruth? My Lord! Your eye!
Copy !req
1000. - Let's go!
- What about my dad?
Copy !req
1001. Let's go, bQy!
Copy !req
1002. Where you going, girls?
Copy !req
1003. Leave us alone, you stupid vaginas!
Copy !req
1004. That's no way for a pretty little thing
like you to talk!
Copy !req
1005. She's fairly new to it, to be honest.
Copy !req
1006. Leave this to me. I'll talk to them.
Copy !req
1007. Yo, fucknuts!
Copy !req
1008. It's probing time.
Copy !req
1009. Oh.
Copy !req
1010. Ha! Only one of us fainted.
Copy !req
1011. Oh, shit! The five-O! Let's bounce.
Copy !req
1012. I'm sorry. They answered the phone.
Copy !req
1013. They knew about us.
Copy !req
1014. Get in the RV.
Copy !req
1015. - Come on, they're going to wake up!
- Hurry!
Copy !req
1016. Sorry!
Copy !req
1017. Okay. We need to get off the road.
Copy !req
1018. - Shouldn't we keep moving?
- No.
Copy !req
1019. That is exactly what they'll expect us to do.
Copy !req
1020. Trust me.
Only an idiot would stop right now.
Copy !req
1021. - Yeah, pull in here. Perfect.
- What? Paul.
Copy !req
1022. We're idiots, remember?
Copy !req
1023. What should we do now?
Copy !req
1024. How about a hot chocolate and bed?
Copy !req
1025. What are you, my grandma?
Copy !req
1026. Oh, I couldn't sleep. I'm too pumped.
Copy !req
1027. Yeah, me, too. Let's get some beers.
Find somewhere to chill.
Copy !req
1028. What do you say?
Copy !req
1029. What if someone sees you?
Copy !req
1030. It's dead out there. And I can do this.
Copy !req
1031. Okay. I'm in.
Copy !req
1032. - Rocky?
- Sure.
Copy !req
1033. Bullwinkle?
Copy !req
1034. I'm a little bit tired.
Copy !req
1035. Don't be a pussy.
Copy !req
1036. Don't call me a...
Copy !req
1037. All right.
Copy !req
1038. Just get your hands off me!
Copy !req
1039. Hoss?
Copy !req
1040. Something I can help you with?
Copy !req
1041. Yeah. You mind telling me
what happened here?
Copy !req
1042. Just a good old-fashioned
beer-soaked slobberknocker.
Copy !req
1043. See anything unusual?
Copy !req
1044. A couple hillbilly types in the back
of that meat wagon won't stop crying.
Copy !req
1045. Have you gentlemen seen
anything unusual this evening?
Copy !req
1046. - Uh-uh.
- Uh-uh.
Copy !req
1047. Are we sure?
Copy !req
1048. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
1049. - Thank you.
- No sweat.
Copy !req
1050. It's a nice window.
It's a little cowboy, isn't it?
Copy !req
1051. That's funny.
Copy !req
1052. I'll tell you what else is funny,
was when you kissed me yesterday.
Copy !req
1053. - Sorry.
- No. It's not...
Copy !req
1054. I was like, "Get off me, you rapist."
Copy !req
1055. - Do it again, if you like.
- What?
Copy !req
1056. I said you can do it again, if you like.
Copy !req
1057. Really?
Copy !req
1058. If you're gonna try it, then maybe
you should do it with a friend,
Copy !req
1059. rather than someone like a stranger
Copy !req
1060. because there's a lot of weirdos out there.
Copy !req
1061. I am planning on doing a lot of kissing
and fornicating
Copy !req
1062. so you'd really be helping me out.
Copy !req
1063. - Great.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1064. - What, now?
- No, I thought you meant...
Copy !req
1065. No, I did. Let's do it now.
Copy !req
1066. - I mean...
- Yeah, all right.
Copy !req
1067. Put my hands on you.
Copy !req
1068. Just stand here? Okay.
Copy !req
1069. Hold you steady.
Copy !req
1070. Fuck!
Copy !req
1071. I'm sorry. I thought I was gonna pass out.
Copy !req
1072. Carry on.
Copy !req
1073. - What's happening?
- Nothing, just hanging around.
Copy !req
1074. They were about to make out.
It was awkward.
Copy !req
1075. We were just...
Copy !req
1076. Good. Please put your shorts on, Paul.
Copy !req
1077. You guys partake?
Copy !req
1078. No, thank you.
Copy !req
1079. I'll partake.
Copy !req
1080. Are you sure?
It's pretty strong shit.
Copy !req
1081. I got it from the military, actually.
This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
Copy !req
1082. Bob Dylan's not dead.
Copy !req
1083. Isn't he?
Copy !req
1084. Hit me.
Copy !req
1085. Okay. Just go easy on it.
Copy !req
1086. Ruth.
Copy !req
1087. Just a little bit. Little bit.
Copy !req
1088. It's not so bad.
Copy !req
1089. To be fair,
it takes a while to be absorbed into...
Copy !req
1090. Oh, shit.
Copy !req
1091. I'm hungry.
We should cook up some sausages.
Copy !req
1092. - Do we have any sausages?
- Uh...
Copy !req
1093. - What do you mean by that?
- No.
Copy !req
1094. Why do you guys hate me?
Can we cook up some sausages?
Copy !req
1095. Ooh, I have wasps in my brain!
Copy !req
1096. She'll be fine.
That happened to me the first time.
Copy !req
1097. Paul.
Copy !req
1098. I was wanting to ask.
You know us now, right?
Copy !req
1099. Yeah. Graeme, we're bona fide BFFs.
Copy !req
1100. Why are you in such a hurry to leave now?
Copy !req
1101. Well, according to the government,
I've fulfilled my usefulness.
Copy !req
1102. I told them everything I know.
Copy !req
1103. The only thing I have left
to offer them now are my abilities.
Copy !req
1104. The healing, the thought transfer,
the camouflage.
Copy !req
1105. In order to cultivate those abilities,
they need some of my stem cells.
Copy !req
1106. And I'm not really down with that.
Copy !req
1107. Lucky for me,
I do have one friend left on the inside.
Copy !req
1108. So, I managed to get an SOS
beamed into space.
Copy !req
1109. I got my people primed
and ready to pick me up.
Copy !req
1110. Then, motherfuckers brought
the procedure forward by a day,
Copy !req
1111. my whole plan goes to shit.
Copy !req
1112. What happened?
Copy !req
1113. On the way to the mental labs, I zapped
my escort, I stole his car, I took off.
Copy !req
1114. Found you guys.
Copy !req
1115. So what happens if you get caught?
Copy !req
1116. Graeme, they're gonna cut out my brain.
Copy !req
1117. Oh.
Copy !req
1118. Yeah. It's fucked.
Copy !req
1119. It's kind of a buzz-kill.
Copy !req
1120. Let's lighten the mood, shall we?
Clive, when did you last get laid?
Copy !req
1121. Oh. Mmm.
Copy !req
1122. - Collectormania, London, '08.
- '08.
Copy !req
1123. EWOk chick.
Copy !req
1124. Clive likes boning space bears!
Copy !req
1125. Shut up.
Copy !req
1126. No, but seriously, be honest with me.
Copy !req
1127. What was it like?
Copy !req
1128. Well, she was furry nice.
Copy !req
1129. That's disgusting! That's gross.
Copy !req
1130. Hey, Clive.
Copy !req
1131. No, Boomer, it's forbidden.
Copy !req
1132. Hey, Clive.
Copy !req
1133. - Hey!
- Clive!
Copy !req
1134. Let's go, guys! We gotta get out of here!
Copy !req
1135. Where's Ruth?
Copy !req
1136. She went back to the RV.
Copy !req
1137. Of course!
Copy !req
1138. He can read minds.
Copy !req
1139. Come on.
Copy !req
1140. Guys, I think we have a slight problem
over here.
Copy !req
1141. Oh, man.
Copy !req
1142. I can't hold my breath
the whole way through town.
Copy !req
1143. Wait here.
Copy !req
1144. What? Wait!
Copy !req
1145. Good morning. Agent Zoil, Secret Service.
Copy !req
1146. You mind if I come in there
and ask a few questions?
Copy !req
1147. Not at all.
Copy !req
1148. Morning.
Copy !req
1149. - Why are we holding hands?
- So we look like a family.
Copy !req
1150. Yeah, the fucking Friedmans.
Copy !req
1151. You could be a midget.
Copy !req
1152. - You're obsessed with midgets!
- No, I'm not!
Copy !req
1153. Stop it! Just act normal.
Copy !req
1154. We're just a couple of regular guys walking
down the street with a small cowboy.
Copy !req
1155. All right, Clive?
Copy !req
1156. Clive?
Copy !req
1157. - Clive.
- Oh, come on!
Copy !req
1158. Clive, what are you doing?
Copy !req
1159. Yeah, man, what the fuck?
Copy !req
1160. I want it.
Copy !req
1161. I can appreciate it's a bargain, but this is
not Comic-Con now. This is reality.
Copy !req
1162. It's false economy anyway,
it'll break the first time you use it. Let's go!
Copy !req
1163. - Why would I ever use it?
- Can we just go, please?
Copy !req
1164. Wait. Maybe we should go inside.
Copy !req
1165. What?
We'll hide out.
Copy !req
1166. You go back and get Ruth.
Get the RV, pick us up in 10 minutes.
Copy !req
1167. You sure?
Copy !req
1168. Trust me.
Copy !req
1169. Good morning.
My name is Agent Zoil, Secret Service.
Copy !req
1170. Mind if I come in, ask you a few questions?
Copy !req
1171. Do you mind if we just do it right here?
Copy !req
1172. Okay.
Copy !req
1173. This place is a real cock-sucking mess.
Copy !req
1174. Got it.
Copy !req
1175. I'm telling you,
we're looking for a goddamn alien.
Copy !req
1176. I thought all that Project Blue Book stuff
was horseshit.
Copy !req
1177. No, it all makes sense.
Copy !req
1178. All this hush-hush crap?
Copy !req
1179. - The drawing that I found?
- Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
1180. What do you think that girl
was talking about last night?
Copy !req
1181. Holy shit! Spaceman balls!
Copy !req
1182. Yeah. And who has spaceman balls?
Copy !req
1183. - Buzz Aldrin?
- Be serious.
Copy !req
1184. Hello, handsome.
Copy !req
1185. Is that you?
Copy !req
1186. Uh, huh?
Copy !req
1187. Is that you on the cover?
Copy !req
1188. No.
Copy !req
1189. - What's your name?
- Keith Nash.
Copy !req
1190. - Nice to meet you. I'm Paul.
- Right.
Copy !req
1191. So, you're not freaked out by me?
Copy !req
1192. - Hmm. Yes and no.
- Huh.
Copy !req
1193. You mind taking a look
at these photographs?
Copy !req
1194. Tell me if you recognize either one
of these two gentlemen or the one-eyed girl?
Copy !req
1195. - Ma'am?
- No.
Copy !req
1196. Anything? Anything at all?
Copy !req
1197. Mmm-mmm.
Copy !req
1198. - You really think this is an alien?
- Yeah!
Copy !req
1199. - This is huge! This is huge!
- I know! I know!
Copy !req
1200. Is that a comic book shop?
Copy !req
1201. Can we go in there?
Copy !req
1202. Maybe. If you're good.
Copy !req
1203. Where are you coming from?
Copy !req
1204. Austin.
Copy !req
1205. - Good town.
- Yeah, it is. They have a lot of bats.
Copy !req
1206. Sorry? What'd you say?
Copy !req
1207. Mmm-mmm.
Copy !req
1208. Okay. Thanks for your time, Mrs...
Copy !req
1209. Darwin.
Copy !req
1210. Charlotte Darwin.
Copy !req
1211. Charlotte Darwin. You have a great day.
Copy !req
1212. You are not gonna believe this.
Copy !req
1213. You should get this one.
Copy !req
1214. - Thanks.
- Yeah, it's good.
Copy !req
1215. Nice! I like your style, Keith Nash.
Copy !req
1216. - I gotta go.
- Catch you later.
Copy !req
1217. Bye, Paul.
Copy !req
1218. Don't get caught.
Copy !req
1219. Happy trails.
Copy !req
1220. Eh?
Copy !req
1221. Huh!
Copy !req
1222. Pretty good. Pretty good.
Copy !req
1223. How much is that?
Copy !req
1224. With the sword, $299.99 plus tax.
Copy !req
1225. Yeah, I'll wear it now.
Copy !req
1226. Come on, man, let's go!
Copy !req
1227. I'll be right out.
Copy !req
1228. Should have used the cufflink thing.
Copy !req
1229. Spaceman balls?
Copy !req
1230. Get your goddamn hands
off my motherfucking junk!
Copy !req
1231. It's in there! It's in there!
Copy !req
1232. Hello.
Copy !req
1233. O'Reilly!
Copy !req
1234. You dumb shit,
that's just some asshole in a mask.
Copy !req
1235. Holy Mary, Mother of God!
Copy !req
1236. I gotta quit smoking.
Copy !req
1237. Let's go!
Copy !req
1238. Sorry, ma'am!
Copy !req
1239. - Shit!
- Don't let... Behind me!
Copy !req
1240. Hurry up, buttcracks!
Copy !req
1241. Look, it's that nerd.
Copy !req
1242. Oh!
Copy !req
1243. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
1244. - Who was that kid?
- Keith Nash!
Copy !req
1245. Punch it!
Copy !req
1246. I don't know what happened!
Who is that kid?
Copy !req
1247. - Get the car started!
- Yes, sir!
Copy !req
1248. Whoa, whoa. What's going on?
Did you guys get me some information?
Copy !req
1249. We saw it. We saw the alien.
Copy !req
1250. It was in the comic book shop. It's hideous!
I think I shit my pants.
Copy !req
1251. I don't know what you guys
are talking about.
Copy !req
1252. You know what?
Copy !req
1253. You know exactly what we're talking about.
Copy !req
1254. I'm sick and tired
of being in the dark on this...
Copy !req
1255. Where the fuck did he go?
Copy !req
1256. I got your door for you.
Copy !req
1257. I got mine.
Copy !req
1258. He went with those nerds.
Copy !req
1259. So, you want to follow us, big guy?
Copy !req
1260. - You kids are gonna go back to the base.
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
1261. Daddy's gonna stick behind,
do a little adult work.
Copy !req
1262. Now, tell me which way
the little green guy went.
Copy !req
1263. - North East highway.
- North East highway.
Copy !req
1264. Straight home, now.
Copy !req
1265. Sorry, guys. It's my dad!
Copy !req
1266. This guy doesn't quit.
You kind of have to respect it.
Copy !req
1267. - Oh, God, Graeme, drive faster.
- Go away, Dad!
Copy !req
1268. - Guys, calm down.
- Those asshorns are gonna catch us!
Copy !req
1269. I said, calm down! Pull over!
Copy !req
1270. - What do you mean, pull over?
- Pull over!
Copy !req
1271. All right. That's it.
Copy !req
1272. This is too dangerous.
I can make it on my own from here.
Copy !req
1273. - What do you mean?
- No. Graeme, you've done enough.
Copy !req
1274. I'll boost a car or something.
I can drive an automatic.
Copy !req
1275. You're a terrible driver!
Copy !req
1276. He's right, Paul.
You can't even drive a spaceship.
Copy !req
1277. I'm close now. I'll be fine.
Copy !req
1278. But we've come all this way.
Copy !req
1279. Yeah, and at what cost, huh?
Copy !req
1280. I've shaken your faith.
I've almost gotten you guys killed!
Copy !req
1281. I just want to get home.
Copy !req
1282. You are going home. I think we've come
too far to let you do this alone.
Copy !req
1283. Yeah. What happened to BFFs?
We are in this together, Paul.
Copy !req
1284. You bet your hairy love eggs we are.
Copy !req
1285. The last 72 hours
have been the ride of my life
Copy !req
1286. and I'm fucked
if I'm getting off this bus now!
Copy !req
1287. - Yeah, me, too.
- And me.
Copy !req
1288. Well, that settles it.
Copy !req
1289. We're all fucked.
Copy !req
1290. Thank you guys so much.
Copy !req
1291. If you're absolutely sure, there is
a little something you can do for me.
Copy !req
1292. - What about this one?
- No, too small.
Copy !req
1293. - Really?
- Yeah, too small.
Copy !req
1294. - Seems rather fitting.
- Mmm.
Copy !req
1295. - That wasn't difficult, was it?
- No. Not at all.
Copy !req
1296. - Hello.
- Hello.
Copy !req
1297. That'll be $299.99, plus tax.
Copy !req
1298. Same as the sword.
Copy !req
1299. Look. They're running.
Holy shit!
Copy !req
1300. - Get the door.
- Oh, shit. Can you drive this thing?
Copy !req
1301. I've been driving these things my whole life.
Copy !req
1302. Come on! Get in, get in.
Copy !req
1303. Graceful.
Copy !req
1304. Zoil. Picked up a 9-1-1 outside of Prospect.
Copy !req
1305. A fireworks store just got ripped off
by two British nerds in an RV.
Copy !req
1306. Son of a bitch!
Copy !req
1307. According to local bacon,
they're on the 14, 40 miles west of you.
Copy !req
1308. Drive like a man,
you'll catch up to them in 30.
Copy !req
1309. Cops are standing down.
You better spin your ass around!
Copy !req
1310. Roger that!
Copy !req
1311. Don't make me come out there.
Copy !req
1312. I'm guest of honor
at the governor's ball tonight
Copy !req
1313. and I'm dressed up real nice.
Copy !req
1314. Where the hell does this 14 go, anyway?
Copy !req
1315. You tell me.
Copy !req
1316. You got Thermopolis, you got Lytle Creek.
Copy !req
1317. Holy shit! Moorcroft's on the 14.
Copy !req
1318. You don't think...
Copy !req
1319. Son of a bitch is going back.
Copy !req
1320. He's gonna try and make contact.
We got him, Zoil.
Copy !req
1321. Bring me back my space monkey
Copy !req
1322. and I guarantee you level 5 clearance
and all the perks.
Copy !req
1323. Great. Better parking space
would be good.
Copy !req
1324. I don't know, man. I don't know.
He looked awful mad.
Copy !req
1325. Fuck him. He's a dinosaur.
It's time for some new blood.
Copy !req
1326. Okay. We're nearly there.
Copy !req
1327. This is where we've been headed?
Copy !req
1328. No. I just need to make
a little stop first, okay?
Copy !req
1329. Do you think we've really got time
to be making little stops?
Copy !req
1330. This is something I really have to do.
Copy !req
1331. Okay, stop here. This is good.
This is close enough.
Copy !req
1332. Shouldn't we park a bit closer?
Copy !req
1333. No. We don't want to scare her.
Copy !req
1334. Scare who?
Copy !req
1335. You knock.
You knock.
Copy !req
1336. I always knock.
Copy !req
1337. Who's there?
Copy !req
1338. Is that Tara Walton?
Copy !req
1339. Leave me alone.
Copy !req
1340. Ms. Walton, my name is Clive Gollings.
Copy !req
1341. I'm here with my friend, Mr. Graeme Willy.
Copy !req
1342. And what do you want?
Copy !req
1343. We're here with the alien
that killed your dog 60 years ago.
Copy !req
1344. Let's go. Let's just go.
Copy !req
1345. What is this? Some kind of a joke?
Copy !req
1346. Hey, Tara.
Copy !req
1347. YOul
Copy !req
1348. That's a very loud clock, isn't it?
Copy !req
1349. You have a nerve showing your face here
after all these years.
Copy !req
1350. Maybe I should make some tea.
Copy !req
1351. I'll do it.
Copy !req
1352. okay-
Copy !req
1353. Look, Tara.
Copy !req
1354. I only just stopped believing in you,
you know.
Copy !req
1355. I spent a very long time trying to convince
folks about what happened that night.
Copy !req
1356. Everyone said I was mad!
Copy !req
1357. They told me it was a meteor
that squashed little Paul.
Copy !req
1358. They took me away and they did tests.
Copy !req
1359. They said it was for cosmic radiation.
Copy !req
1360. That I was concussed, hallucinating.
Copy !req
1361. But I knew you were real!
Copy !req
1362. I pulled you from that spaceship myself.
Copy !req
1363. I kept you warm and comfortable.
Copy !req
1364. I sat there with you till the men came
to take you away.
Copy !req
1365. Pop tried to understand,
Copy !req
1366. but he would just smile and say,
"There there, Tara."
Copy !req
1367. When word got out about my story,
Copy !req
1368. kids used to come and throw stones
at the house, call me names.
Copy !req
1369. And I just hid myself away.
Copy !req
1370. I'd spend whole nights up there,
just staring at the sky,
Copy !req
1371. hoping that I'd catch a glimpse of you.
Copy !req
1372. And here you are.
Copy !req
1373. I'm sorry.
If I could have done it any other way, I...
Copy !req
1374. Oh, it's okay.
Copy !req
1375. You're real.
Copy !req
1376. That's all that matters.
Copy !req
1377. - I was right.
- Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
1378. And all those folks that said I was crazy?
Copy !req
1379. They can all just go fuck themselves.
Copy !req
1380. I brought something for you.
I thought you might want it back.
Copy !req
1381. Here you go.
Copy !req
1382. Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
1383. Who do you suppose that is?
Copy !req
1384. - Where did that come from?
- Holy shit! It's them!
Copy !req
1385. I'll take the front!
Copy !req
1386. om
Copy !req
1387. What the fuck are you doing here?
Copy !req
1388. Go! Go!
Copy !req
1389. Haggard!
Copy !req
1390. Alien!
Copy !req
1391. Shit! Haggard! Where's the party, man?
Copy !req
1392. There's no one in this place!
Come on, buddy, help me out.
Copy !req
1393. Oh, fuck!
Copy !req
1394. Freeze, motherfucker!
Copy !req
1395. So weak.
Copy !req
1396. Give me the alien!
Copy !req
1397. Give me the fucking alien!
Copy !req
1398. - No!
- Ow! Fuck. Watch it.
Copy !req
1399. Give me the alien!
Copy !req
1400. Get your own alien.
Copy !req
1401. Thank you, Clive! ls Tara with us?
Copy !req
1402. Tara! Come this way! Follow us!
Copy !req
1403. Oh, man-balls! It's my dad!
Copy !req
1404. Are you okay? Am I heavy?
Copy !req
1405. I told you, it's not fat, it's power!
Copy !req
1406. Oh, great.
Copy !req
1407. I told you we should've parked closer!
Copy !req
1408. Holster that. They're mine!
Copy !req
1409. - Consider that a warning!
- You crazy bastard!
Copy !req
1410. O'I got you, you little space freak!
Copy !req
1411. Ruth! Get back here!
Copy !req
1412. Just go home!
Copy !req
1413. Oh, I got you, sucker. Coming.
Copy !req
1414. Ready or not.
Copy !req
1415. Holy fuck.
Copy !req
1416. - Papa!
- Ruth, wait!
Copy !req
1417. Papa! Papa!
Copy !req
1418. 'Oh!
Copy !req
1419. It's okay, he's alive. He's okay!
Copy !req
1420. - Go, Clive, go!
- Wait for me!
Copy !req
1421. You Okay?
Copy !req
1422. - Thank you. I'm okay.
- Wait there.
Copy !req
1423. Graeme!
Copy !req
1424. Ruth! Drive!
Copy !req
1425. Come on, Graeme!
Copy !req
1426. Don't leave me!
Copy !req
1427. Never.
Copy !req
1428. Graeme, you scared the shit out of me.
Copy !req
1429. Ruth, why aren't you driving?
Copy !req
1430. I told you. It's easy!
Copy !req
1431. Got it. Got it. Got it. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Road! Okay.
Copy !req
1432. Small corrections! Small corrections!
Copy !req
1433. Oh, my weed!
Copy !req
1434. Oh!
Copy !req
1435. Motherfucking titty-sucking two-balled bitch!
Copy !req
1436. Zoil, progress report.
Copy !req
1437. This is Haggard, sir.
Agent Zoil is no longer in command.
Copy !req
1438. I don't give a shit who's in command.
Where the fuck are they?
Copy !req
1439. Just ahead of me,
heading east towards Lytle Creek.
Copy !req
1440. I don't wanna hear from anybody
until that cocksucker is dead! Get me?
Copy !req
1441. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1442. Ma'am.
Copy !req
1443. God damn it!
Copy !req
1444. This is official government business!
Copy !req
1445. Stand down,
or I am authorized to use deadly force.
Copy !req
1446. That thing has my daughter!
Copy !req
1447. This isn't your mission!
Copy !req
1448. I'm on a mission from God!
Copy !req
1449. Tell him you failed.
Copy !req
1450. Oh!
Copy !req
1451. Shit! We got company.
Copy !req
1452. He's trying to overtake us!
Copy !req
1453. - Don't let him get past!
- Should I ram him?
Copy !req
1454. - What about the deposit?
- Fuck the deposit.
Copy !req
1455. You're crazy!
Copy !req
1456. Fuck.
Copy !req
1457. Oh, fuck! Come on!
Copy !req
1458. Smile, you son of a bitch!
Copy !req
1459. Eyes forward, butthorn.
Copy !req
1460. Do you think he'll be okay?
Copy !req
1461. Yeah, he'll be fine.
Copy !req
1462. Mmm.
Copy !req
1463. - Haggard.
- Zoil.
Copy !req
1464. Where are the other two?
Copy !req
1465. One crashed and burned,
the otherjust burned.
Copy !req
1466. Jesus Christ!
This has been one fuck-up after another.
Copy !req
1467. I should have handled this myself.
Copy !req
1468. I am very close. You give me one hour.
Copy !req
1469. An hour? I'll be eating canapés
with the governor in an hour.
Copy !req
1470. I need this wrapped up now!
Copy !req
1471. No, no. They're mine, damn it.
I'm gonna finish this, once and for all.
Copy !req
1472. Too late, Zoil. I'm bringing in the big guns.
Copy !req
1473. Boring conversation anyway.
Copy !req
1474. Fare thee well, my friend.
You were a faithful and mighty steed.
Copy !req
1475. I can't believe she's gone.
Copy !req
1476. Ain't that a bag of tits.
Copy !req
1477. Oh, what'll we do now, Paul?
Copy !req
1478. Paul?
Copy !req
1479. Paul, where are you going?
Copy !req
1480. See? What did I tell you, fellas?
Copy !req
1481. You'd know it when you saw it.
Copy !req
1482. Oh.
Copy !req
1483. Of course.
Copy !req
1484. - Ah! Right. Shoots flaming balls. Whoo!
- Whoo!
Copy !req
1485. - Can you just light the fucking thing?
- Fireworks are not toys, Paul.
Copy !req
1486. - What is the suggested safe distance?
- Right.
Copy !req
1487. - 500 feet.
- That's going to put us behind the tree line.
Copy !req
1488. - We're not gonna enjoy the full effect.
- That's true, actually.
Copy !req
1489. Hey, what the...
Copy !req
1490. Oh! Now you're running, huh?
Copy !req
1491. That's not funny. That's dangerous.
Copy !req
1492. What now?
Copy !req
1493. We wait.
Copy !req
1494. Yes.
Copy !req
1495. - That's amazing.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
1496. Not bad.
Copy !req
1497. That's three times you've done that now.
Copy !req
1498. I never met anyone...
Copy !req
1499. Oh, no, you don't.
Copy !req
1500. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
1501. Stay where you are, you little green bastard!
Copy !req
1502. It's the Big Guy.
Copy !req
1503. Well, what do you know?
Copy !req
1504. Small world.
Copy !req
1505. - Paul!
- Z0il?
Copy !req
1506. Huh?
Copy !req
1507. Don't fucking move!
Copy !req
1508. Okay, everyone be cool.
Everyone just be cool.
Copy !req
1509. I gotta say, I'm a little hurt, Agent Zoil.
Copy !req
1510. He introduced me to my wife. He's my friend.
Copy !req
1511. You stupid son of a bitch.
You could've been where I am in 15 years.
Copy !req
1512. - I don't want to be where you are.
- Too bad,
Copy !req
1513. seeing as how
I'm the one holding all the cards.
Copy !req
1514. And when I say "cards," I of course mean
Copy !req
1515. big fucking gun.
Copy !req
1516. Very big gun.
Copy !req
1517. - Let's go, Mork.
- Don't call me Mork.
Copy !req
1518. - No.
- Guys, you don't have to do this.
Copy !req
1519. No, he's going nowhere.
Copy !req
1520. Can it, nerds.
Copy !req
1521. Shit, I'd shoot you now
if I didn't get off on the idea
Copy !req
1522. of your being hog-tied and pissed on
in Guantanamo Bay.
Copy !req
1523. They've shut Guantanamo Bay.
Copy !req
1524. Did they?
Copy !req
1525. Be honest with yourselves.
Copy !req
1526. What do you think you can possibly bring
to the table at this point in the game?
Copy !req
1527. Blind fury.
Copy !req
1528. Oh.
Copy !req
1529. False economy. I told you.
Copy !req
1530. Step aside, fag.
Copy !req
1531. PAU LI Oh! Dude!
Copy !req
1532. Insane!
Copy !req
1533. on!
Copy !req
1534. Ow!
Copy !req
1535. Ow!
Copy !req
1536. - Ruth!
- Get away from her, you bitch!
Copy !req
1537. Ow!
Copy !req
1538. Zoil, you okay, man?
Copy !req
1539. - So much for the plan, huh?
- I know, right?
Copy !req
1540. Sorry I zapped you at the farmhouse.
Copy !req
1541. That's okay. I'm sorry I wasn't there
to meet you outside the base.
Copy !req
1542. By the time I got there, you'd already gone.
Copy !req
1543. But I see you got yourself a plan B, huh?
Copy !req
1544. Did I ever. These are my friends.
Copy !req
1545. - Hello.
- Pleasure to meet you boys.
Copy !req
1546. - You did a hell of a job.
- Thank you, Agent Zoil.
Copy !req
1547. Please call me Lorenzo.
Copy !req
1548. - Lorenzo Zoil?
- Lorenzo Zoil?
Copy !req
1549. That's right.
Copy !req
1550. Ruth!
Copy !req
1551. Papa?
Copy !req
1552. - Paul!
- Ruth!
Copy !req
1553. That was close.
Copy !req
1554. Oh, my!
Copy !req
1555. No!
Copy !req
1556. Oh, God, Graeme.
Copy !req
1557. Graeme!
Copy !req
1558. - I never meant to...
- Put the gun down, Mr. Buggs.
Copy !req
1559. Drop the fucking gun, Dad!
Copy !req
1560. Oh, n0!
Copy !req
1561. I really liked this T-shirt.
Copy !req
1562. This is all my fault.
We should never have come on holiday.
Copy !req
1563. No, no. It's fine. It's fine, Clive.
Copy !req
1564. We've had a good time, haven't we?
Copy !req
1565. Yeah. But you got shot.
Copy !req
1566. Yeah, I know. But I can honestly say, Clive,
this is the most fun I have ever had.
Copy !req
1567. Graeme?
Copy !req
1568. Graeme?
Copy !req
1569. Graeme?
Copy !req
1570. I've gotta try, right?
Copy !req
1571. - Yeah?
- No, no.
Copy !req
1572. Paul, think about this.
Copy !req
1573. Paul!
Copy !req
1574. Paul?
Copy !req
1575. Oh, that sucked. I don't even get to eat him.
Copy !req
1576. Wasn't that really, really dangerous?
Copy !req
1577. Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
Copy !req
1578. It's a miracle!
Copy !req
1579. The Lord has delivered his healing hand!
Copy !req
1580. You can't win with these people.
Copy !req
1581. - Sorry you got killed by my dad.
- That's fine.
Copy !req
1582. - Do you want to try that kiss again?
- Fuck, yeah.
Copy !req
1583. Well, what do you know?
The geek shall inherit the Earth.
Copy !req
1584. Huh?
Copy !req
1585. Well, ain't this...
Copy !req
1586. Oh!
Copy !req
1587. I changed my mind. That is Jenga.
Copy !req
1588. It feels better.
Copy !req
1589. Okay?
Copy !req
1590. Oh, that's good.
Copy !req
1591. - This is a nice one of you.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
1592. Look, Mr. Buggs.
Copy !req
1593. It's been a hell of a ride, huh?
Copy !req
1594. Sorry I frightened the shit out of you.
Copy !req
1595. You didn't frighten me. You freed me.
Copy !req
1596. I'm glad.
Copy !req
1597. Mmm. That's nice.
Copy !req
1598. Thanks.
Copy !req
1599. Hey, take care of her, big man.
Copy !req
1600. Oh, I will, sir. And God be with you.
Copy !req
1601. Yeah, whatever, dude. Sure.
Copy !req
1602. Say bye to Karen for me.
Copy !req
1603. Safe trip, Short Round.
Copy !req
1604. Thanks.
Copy !req
1605. - Oh, you're coming with me.
- What?
Copy !req
1606. I ruined your life, Tara.
Copy !req
1607. I think it's only right I give you a new one.
Copy !req
1608. Oh.
Copy !req
1609. I don't have my toothbrush.
Copy !req
1610. Baby, where we're going,
you don't need teeth.
Copy !req
1611. That's right. Right on. Get in there, girl.
Copy !req
1612. Yeah, she's cool. She's with me.
Let her in. Yeah. No.
Copy !req
1613. Gentlemen.
Copy !req
1614. I meant to ask,
what did you think of the book?
Copy !req
1615. I liked it, actually. I really liked it.
Copy !req
1616. There's lot of good ideas in it.
Copy !req
1617. I kind of found it hard to finish, to be honest.
Copy !req
1618. Yeah. Yeah, me, too.
Copy !req
1619. You know, as I always say,
Copy !req
1620. "You have to spin a good yarn
before you can weave a great dream."
Copy !req
1621. That's what Adam Shadowchild said.
Copy !req
1622. That asshole! He stole that from me.
Copy !req
1623. Huh.
Copy !req
1624. - He was a bit of an asshole, actually.
- Yeah, he was.
Copy !req
1625. - Keep it for the journey home, if you like.
- Oh, yeah. Definitely.
Copy !req
1626. It's safe to say
we've all learned something from this.
Copy !req
1627. Be yourselves. Speak from your heart.
Some shit like that, I don't know.
Copy !req
1628. Yeah, you know,
I certainly feel a bit different.
Copy !req
1629. And me.
Copy !req
1630. Thank you, guys.
Copy !req
1631. - No, thank you.
- Yeah, thanks, Paul.
Copy !req
1632. Hugs?
Copy !req
1633. Come on.
Copy !req
1634. Clive, I can feel your boner.
Copy !req
1635. Till next time.
Copy !req
1636. - So cool, isn't it?
- It's amazing!
Copy !req
1637. Goodbye!
Copy !req
1638. See you! Goodbye!
Copy !req
1639. This ship takes off very slowly.
It's a little awkward.
Copy !req
1640. Good bye!
Copy !req
1641. Can you guys take off any faster? Come on!
Copy !req
1642. Ah!
Copy !req
1643. That was good, wasn't it?
Copy !req
1644. Hey.
Copy !req
1645. - Leias!
- Thank you. Cheers.
Copy !req
1646. Sorry. Who are you?
Copy !req
1647. Someone who loves you.
Copy !req
1648. Hey! I thought you were coming
as Wonder Woman today.
Copy !req
1649. All right, would you please welcome
Copy !req
1650. the team behind this year's
multi-Nebulon-award-winning best seller.
Copy !req
1651. By the way, these are friends of mine.
Copy !req
1652. - I'm very proud of you, Graeme.
- I'm very proud of you, Sausage.
Copy !req
1653. Come on.
Copy !req
1654. Pat Stevens?
Like, Pat Stevens from Chapter 1?
Copy !req
1655. The very same.
Copy !req
1656. You know, I always pictured you taller.
Copy !req
1657. - You should see me standing up.
- Oh, I'd like that.
Copy !req
1658. I didn't realize you were so damn pretty.
Copy !req
1659. You should see me
out of these crazy clothes.
Copy !req
1660. I'd like that.
Copy !req
1661. Mmm.
Copy !req
1662. I can't.
Copy !req
1663. I understand, apparently,
they are citing me as the...
Copy !req
1664. Well, fuck. You know...
Copy !req
1665. Please welcome to the stage,
Clive Gollings and Graeme Willy.
Copy !req
1666. Give it up.
Copy !req
1667. Three, two, one.
Copy !req
1668. Congratulations.
Copy !req
1669. - Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
1670. O'Graeme! Clive!
Copy !req
1671. Whoo! I know those guys!
Copy !req
1672. - You!
- Hi.
Copy !req