1. Dock five. The Immaculata?Copy !req
2. Over there.Copy !req
3. I cannot, I repeat...Copy !req
4. cannot sit in this cesspool
by the sea with nothing to do.Copy !req
5. So while you repair your silly
boat engines, I will do some remodeling.Copy !req
6. I've already sent for a carpenter.Copy !req
7. Well, do whatever, dittums.
I'm shooting skeet.Copy !req
8. Hello?Copy !req
9. Mr. Stayton?Copy !req
10. Anybody home? Hello?Copy !req
11. State your purpose.Copy !req
12. - Nice-looking Weatherby you got there.
- It's a very expensive gun.Copy !req
13. I have lots and lots of them.Copy !req
14. - Somebody call for a carpenter?
- That's my wife's department.Copy !req
15. Excuse me. Could you tell me
where your wife might be?Copy !req
16. You're the carpenter?Copy !req
17. Yeah. Dean Proffitt.Copy !req
18. You're late.Copy !req
19. - References?
- Well, no, not really.Copy !req
20. I just moved up
to this area and...Copy !req
21. Well, hey, I've been doin'
this kind of shit... work for years.Copy !req
22. This is... This is
just beautiful. What a...Copy !req
23. - Try not to touch anything.
- Oh, I won't.Copy !req
24. Andrew will keep an eye on you.Copy !req
25. Maybe you'd like to take fingerprints
before I get started.Copy !req
26. I was just kidding.Copy !req
27. Don't walk so close to me.Copy !req
28. Where's your problem?Copy !req
29. - My closet.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
30. In here.Copy !req
31. Now you can see
how inadequate this all is.Copy !req
32. I need new shoe racks
for my shoes.Copy !req
33. Excuse me. I was told that
this was some kind of an emergency.Copy !req
34. It is.Copy !req
35. And I need drawers
for my lingerie.Copy !req
36. I can't keep entering
these boxes all the time.Copy !req
37. Hello?Copy !req
38. Hey, I'm sorry.
I understand now.Copy !req
39. You want me
to remodel your closet.Copy !req
40. Isn't that what I've been
explaining in some detail?Copy !req
41. Is English your second language?Copy !req
42. What is that odor?Copy !req
43. Gee, I guess...
I don't smell anything.Copy !req
44. Madam.Copy !req
45. Well! I almost had to wait.Copy !req
46. I got an idea for a shoe rack
right in here maybe, huh?Copy !req
47. What is this gelatinous muck?Copy !req
48. Andrew, when I tell you
to pack staples...Copy !req
49. must I specify that
you are to pack good caviar...Copy !req
50. and not this $1.99 fish bait?Copy !req
51. Yes, madam.Copy !req
52. Caviar should be round and hard
and of adequate size.Copy !req
53. And it should burst in your mouth
at precisely the right moment.Copy !req
54. Yes, madam.Copy !req
55. - Carpenter?
- Yeah?Copy !req
56. You have exactly 48 hours.
I suggest you get started.Copy !req
57. - Throw that out.
- Yes, madam.Copy !req
58. Watch him.Copy !req
59. Oh, boy.
She is really somethin'.Copy !req
60. I know it will cost me,
but it's the cutest little painting.Copy !req
61. I simply must have it. You'll do
the bidding for me at the auction?Copy !req
62. But, of course.Copy !req
63. - Bid one million, 700 thousand.
- Shit!Copy !req
64. - Grant, I'm on the phone!
- I can't hear you, Tea Rose!Copy !req
65. I'm shooting skeet!Copy !req
66. - Pull.
- Firing!Copy !req
67. Hello.Copy !req
68. You know, forks were
invented so man could...Copy !req
69. at least make a pretense of
separating himself from the apes.Copy !req
70. So were thumbs.Copy !req
71. - What did you say?
- Nothin'. Just my stomach.Copy !req
72. Well, try to control your bodily noises
so I can hear myself think.Copy !req
73. And another Oregon
good mornin' to ya.Copy !req
74. Wilbur Budd here
with some local items.Copy !req
75. The Fraga Feed and
Fertilizer folks are hiring...Copy !req
76. people to shovel the stuff.Copy !req
77. Women are welcome too.Copy !req
78. There's no chauvinism
in the manure business.Copy !req
79. These gnats keep landing
on my wet nail polish.Copy !req
80. I guess I'm supposed
to walk around...Copy !req
81. with their little corpses stuck
to my fingers, is that it?Copy !req
82. - Joanna, please.
- It's easy for you to say.Copy !req
83. You don't have to sit out here
in the brine...Copy !req
84. with your perm
frizzing to oblivion.Copy !req
85. I look like a bushman.Copy !req
86. Why don't you go inside
and get out of the sea air?Copy !req
87. Because that Elk Snout mountain man
is still working on my closet.Copy !req
88. He's sweating
all over the place.Copy !req
89. I doubt if he's even housebroke.Copy !req
90. I think they housebreak
each other, don't they?Copy !req
91. - What?
- He's listening.Copy !req
92. - Who?
- That carpenter.Copy !req
93. He's been hanging on every word
we've been saying for the last two days.Copy !req
94. It's your project, Joanna.
You deal with it.Copy !req
95. Come along, men.Copy !req
96. - Captain says the engines are ready.
- Let's get going.Copy !req
97. I've finished, madam. Would you like me
to put your jewelry back on you?Copy !req
98. No, I'm still tacky.Copy !req
99. Keep your mouth shut for ten more
minutes, collect the money and get out.Copy !req
100. Well, are we amusing you?Copy !req
101. - What is this?
- I'm done. I'm finished.Copy !req
102. - What do you think?
- What is it?Copy !req
103. It's a shoe rack with a twist.
You ready?Copy !req
104. You just turn the crank here.
Those drop back.Copy !req
105. These split and comes from behind.
Gives you twice the space...Copy !req
106. Stop boring me with your absurdities.
What's it made of?Copy !req
107. It's called wood.
It's oak.Copy !req
108. Oak? An oak closet?Copy !req
109. - Why am I even amazed?
- I don't know. Why are you amazed?Copy !req
110. Because one would think that you would
know that closets are made of cedar.Copy !req
111. Otherwise, we get moths.Copy !req
112. There's not a real big moth problem
off the Pacific Coast.Copy !req
113. But if you want one out of cedar,
that's fine. I'll start all over.Copy !req
114. I just have to tell you, that's going
to more than double my estimate.Copy !req
115. - What do you mean?
- What I mean is...Copy !req
116. I've already done this out of oak,
so I'm gonna have to go...Copy !req
117. - I'm not paying for your mistake.
- I'm not gonna eat it on this deal.Copy !req
118. Why not? You've eaten
everything else in this place.Copy !req
119. You will eat it,
because I want it cedar!Copy !req
120. You may have wanted cedar,
but you didn't ask for cedar.Copy !req
121. The entire civilized world knows
that all closets are made of cedar.Copy !req
122. Up here in Elk Snout, ma'am, we don't
know about them closets nor bathrooms.Copy !req
123. Shit, woman,
you're lucky I am housebroke.Copy !req
124. - You were listening.
- It was kind of hard to avoid.Copy !req
125. You can avoid it in the future,
because you're fired.Copy !req
126. You're unbelievable.Copy !req
127. That's fine with me.
Just pay me the money you owe me.Copy !req
128. The job was not done
to my satisfaction.Copy !req
129. I got news for you, lady. No job
will ever be done to your satisfaction.Copy !req
130. That's quite enough!
Now, just get out.Copy !req
131. No problem! Just pay me the 600 bucks
you owe me and I'm gone!Copy !req
132. Captain Karl,
start up the engine.Copy !req
133. Oh, for cryin'... You know
what your problem is, huh?Copy !req
134. You're so goddamned bored,
you gotta invent things to bitch about.Copy !req
135. You haven't got a single thing on
this Earth to do except for your hair!Copy !req
136. Your closet was fine.Copy !req
137. You just needed something
to take up your useless, empty...Copy !req
138. nail-polishing, toe-polishing,
rich bitch, sun-tanning days!Copy !req
139. - Don't touch me.
- What?Copy !req
140. Hey, lady, I may be hard up,
but I am definitely not that hard up.Copy !req
141. And I'm not goin' anywhere...Copy !req
142. - Damn you!
- Man overboard!Copy !req
143. I'll get you for this, you...Copy !req
144. Not my tool belt!Copy !req
145. - You owe me 600 bucks!
- Keep going!Copy !req
146. As you wish.Copy !req
147. If I ever get you, lady,
you're dead meat! You got that?Copy !req
148. Don't throw that!Copy !req
149. I'm not bored.
I'm quite happy.Copy !req
150. Everyone wants to be me.Copy !req
151. You come back here!Copy !req
152. I lost all my tools.Copy !req
153. I'll loan you some tools. We'll get you
some part-time work, right?Copy !req
154. I appreciate it. Billy, I need a steady
job. What about that nighttime thing?Copy !req
155. I'm working on it. Pretty soon we'll
get that miniature golf course deal.Copy !req
156. - We'll be in business.
- If I can hang on that long.Copy !req
157. He called you a what?Copy !req
158. Joanna, why are you so upset?Copy !req
159. Why do you care what some carpenter
from Elk Snout thinks of you?Copy !req
160. I'm sure I'm just premenstrual.Copy !req
161. Then you must go right back to bed
for at least two days.Copy !req
162. Inga. You don't shove the food
down Shitake's throat.Copy !req
163. You place it on her tongue.
Don't they have dogs in Sweden?Copy !req
164. Grant mentioned
having a baby again.Copy !req
165. What should I do?Copy !req
166. Darling, if you have a baby,
you won't be the baby anymore.Copy !req
167. True.Copy !req
168. Well, I must go.
Bye-bye, Mommy.Copy !req
169. Bye-bye, sweetie.Copy !req
170. I'm not a bitch.Copy !req
171. Andrew, are you
going to bring me my lemon...Copy !req
172. or do I have to squeeze it
from my hat?Copy !req
173. Hey, guys, I'm home!Copy !req
174. Stay away, you wolves!Copy !req
175. Bad dogs! Go away!Copy !req
176. Buster! Jackson!
Get back inside!Copy !req
177. - Are you Mr. Proffitt?
- Yeah.Copy !req
178. You look the morning after Halloween.
Probably had a day like I did.Copy !req
179. - What happened to you?
- Monday is their first day of school.Copy !req
180. I came here
to welcome your family.Copy !req
181. What do I get in return? I get
toilet papered by your children.Copy !req
182. - They were just playin' around.
- Oh, just playing around?Copy !req
183. They were about to douse the toilet
paper with gasoline and strike...Copy !req
184. Wait. Stop.
Greg and Charlie, twins, right?Copy !req
185. They're goin' through
this arson period.Copy !req
186. They don't know this,
but I'm way ahead of them.Copy !req
187. I got two fire extinguishers
ready to go.Copy !req
188. - I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name.
- Adele Burbridge.Copy !req
189. - Nice to meet you.
- Principal of the Elk Cove School.Copy !req
190. Your children are monsters!Copy !req
191. You won't think that
once you get to know them.Copy !req
192. Where is Mrs. Proffitt
when all of this is going on?Copy !req
193. She died three years ago.Copy !req
194. Your children are totally
lacking in parental supervision.Copy !req
195. You don't have to tell me
these kids are lucky.Copy !req
196. Fine. You can joke all you want,
but I am serious about this.Copy !req
197. If you don't do something, I am going
to notify the proper authorities.Copy !req
198. I have had baby-sitters
in here by the dozen.Copy !req
199. I'm kind of low
on cash right now.Copy !req
200. I'm new in town, but if I get a chance,
I'll hire a housekeeper, all right?Copy !req
201. I'll believe it when I see it.
Good day, Mr. Proffitt.Copy !req
202. I'm a good father!Copy !req
203. What do you know?Copy !req
204. Joanna, I want you tonight.Copy !req
205. How can you have
your period every week?Copy !req
206. For $6,800 a cruise,
you can stow away...Copy !req
207. with the rich and famous
to exotic ports of call.Copy !req
208. Must you watch
that thing incessantly?Copy !req
209. Yes, I must. It has a tawdry, escapist
quality that soothes my nerves.Copy !req
210. What you have to escape from,
I can't possibly imagine.Copy !req
211. Grant, I left my wedding ring
on the deck.Copy !req
212. - Well, what can I do?
- Go and get it.Copy !req
213. - It's after midnight.
- I don't care. I want it now.Copy !req
214. I just wanna see
who's in the top ten yachts.Copy !req
215. - I'll get it.
- Okay.Copy !req
216. A countdown to the world's
ten best luxury yachts.Copy !req
217. This is the big league
of the Seven Seas.Copy !req
218. The one purchase that separates mere
millionaires from multimillionaires.Copy !req
219. Our number-ten pick
is the Loch Lowman...Copy !req
220. a 167-foot Saudi-owned dream boat
docked in Tahiti.Copy !req
221. Number nine, the 230...Copy !req
222. Oh, my hair! Help!Copy !req
223. Help! Help!Copy !req
224. - The world's best luxury yacht...
- You idiots!Copy !req
225. Owned by the world's
richest man, Ahknan...Copy !req
226. Another Oregon
good morning to ya.Copy !req
227. This is Wilbur Budd here
at KRAB, the family station.Copy !req
228. Run by me and my family.Copy !req
229. I'm sorry to interrupt the movie, but
we got excitement in Tillamook County.Copy !req
230. I got a bulletin here from the
eyewitness on the spot, KRAB newsroom.Copy !req
231. Seems a mystery woman
was picked up...Copy !req
232. by the Elk Cove garbage scow
shortly after midnight.Copy !req
233. They fished her out of the water
all right, and she's conscious.Copy !req
234. But the problem is, she seems
to be suffering from amnesia.Copy !req
235. She has no recollection
of who she is.Copy !req
236. My wife Rose is down there
with the captain of the garbage scow...Copy !req
237. that picked up the mystery lady.Copy !req
238. Mr. Tunatti, can you tell us what
the mystery woman was like...Copy !req
239. when you brought her aboard?Copy !req
240. Yes, we saw something
floating water like this.Copy !req
241. - Just like that.
- I see.Copy !req
242. We didn't know it...
Then we bring on board, eh?Copy !req
243. - On board.
- Yes.Copy !req
244. We say, foca.
Foca, we say.Copy !req
245. Excuse me. You can't
say that on television.Copy !req
246. Foca means seal in Portuguese.Copy !req
247. - I see.
- It's seal.Copy !req
248. - So we bring in boat. No clothes.
- Learn something every day.Copy !req
249. - Just a little thing like that.
- Well, there you have it.Copy !req
250. - But, you see, l...
- Thank you very much, Tunatti.Copy !req
251. Garbage I do for money.
For love, I sing.Copy !req
252. - In my country, I always sing.
- Isn't that interesting?Copy !req
253. We have a Renaissance garbage man.Copy !req
254. We tell stories with our songs.
We just don't sing.Copy !req
255. Thank you, Rose.Copy !req
256. Bobby, can we roll
that tape now, please?Copy !req
257. Now, folks, here's an interview
we taped earlier at the hospital.Copy !req
258. Miss, do you know your name?Copy !req
259. Of course I know my name.Copy !req
260. It's...Copy !req
261. This is absurd!Copy !req
262. I know it.Copy !req
263. Get that thing out of my face.Copy !req
264. What a horrible wig.Copy !req
265. You mean to tell me that
I have no medical recourse?Copy !req
266. - Can she see us?
- Not unless she's Super Woman.Copy !req
267. Well, what do you know? Extend your
brain a teensy little bit, if possible.Copy !req
268. You seem to be suffering
from a temporary amnesia...Copy !req
269. either from the bump into the garbage
scow or the shock of the cold water.Copy !req
270. How temporary is it?Copy !req
271. We don't know. Other than that, you
seem to be in excellent physical shape.Copy !req
272. Listen to me, medical people.Copy !req
273. As of now, I have a life history
of a dirty garbage scow...Copy !req
274. and a breakfast of extremely
runny eggs over easy.Copy !req
275. Now, I refuse... refuse...
to be incarcerated...Copy !req
276. in this semiprivate room!Copy !req
277. You snore!Copy !req
278. While there are no efforts being made
for anyone to try to locate...Copy !req
279. Is that her?Copy !req
280. I demand you do something!
Do you hear me?Copy !req
281. No, I never saw her
before in my life.Copy !req
282. Mrs. Stayton has decided to leave me.
Let's celebrate.Copy !req
283. Now, Miss X...Copy !req
284. we have a comfortable, private room
for you where you'll be a lot safer.Copy !req
285. We'll all be a lot safer,
and you'll be a lot more comfortable.Copy !req
286. Well, I'm glad you've
finally come to your senses.Copy !req
287. I was prepared to sue you.Copy !req
288. I don't know who I am,
but I'm sure I have a lawyer.Copy !req
289. - You about done?
- Yeah.Copy !req
290. - We interrupt this program...
- I think I got it fixed.Copy !req
291. - Your lunch is on the counter.
- Thanks.Copy !req
292. This is Wilbur Budd again.Copy !req
293. We got some more on that amnesia lady
story down in Elk Grove.Copy !req
294. Wanna push in on these,
Barry, please?Copy !req
295. I saw some potato chips around
the corner here. Could I just...Copy !req
296. - One bag.
- Folks, I said Elk Grove before.Copy !req
297. You know I meant Elk Cove.
Anything new, honey?Copy !req
298. The mystery woman is still suffering
from complete but temporary amnesia.Copy !req
299. If any of you know the identity of
this woman, please contact the hospital.Copy !req
300. - I'll put up the reward myself.
- She's drivin' us crazy.Copy !req
301. - Thank you, and now back to you, Wilbur.
- Yo, Dean!Copy !req
302. I understand she's not
the nicest person in the world.Copy !req
303. Look!Copy !req
304. She made some remarks about
my wife's hair which I didn't care for.Copy !req
305. But, in any event, there she is,
and this is what she looks like.Copy !req
306. - That's her.
- Who?Copy !req
307. The bitch!Copy !req
308. Earlier today, one man arrived
on the scene to make an identification.Copy !req
309. I can't believe it.
He's skippin' out on her.Copy !req
310. Of course he's skippin' out on her.
It's his shot at freedom.Copy !req
311. Maybe we should go down to the hospital
and see if we can get your money.Copy !req
312. - Look, he's gone.
- Not him, her.Copy !req
313. She doesn't know who she is.
You think she's gonna know who I am?Copy !req
314. It isn't much, but we're trying to
keep you posted as this story unfolds.Copy !req
315. So, we'll go back to our movie.Copy !req
316. Billy, there is a God,
and He loves me.Copy !req
317. - Not going to shave your head, are you?
- No.Copy !req
318. - You're not thinking of...
- Gotta go home and talk to my kids.Copy !req
319. I want you to take them shopping
at the Salvation Army.Copy !req
320. This is illegal!
You're crazy! You know that?Copy !req
321. I was beginning to wonder
if a woman like that had a husband.Copy !req
322. Oh, yeah, she does.Copy !req
323. Here's some personal effects
you might recognize.Copy !req
324. Nice panties. Some initials here.
She didn't know what they meant. J.S.Copy !req
325. She wouldn't, because I bought these
for her at a garage sale.Copy !req
326. Yeah, I bought my wife a garter once
at a yard sale...Copy !req
327. I'll bet you did.
What else you got in here?Copy !req
328. I got some pictures. We were
gonna send them over the AP wire.Copy !req
329. - But now that you're here...
- Yep, that's her.Copy !req
330. Oh, yeah, that's
my little cookie cutter.Copy !req
331. - Quite a beauty.
- She's somethin'.Copy !req
332. You got that right.Copy !req
333. Doc, we got a winner.Copy !req
334. Annie!Copy !req
335. Stop!Copy !req
336. I don't recognize this man.Copy !req
337. Your wife's had
an almost total loss of memory.Copy !req
338. I can't believe
she doesn't know her own husband.Copy !req
339. This missing link person
is not my husband.Copy !req
340. Annie, please.Copy !req
341. - Right.
- That's not right. That's not my name.Copy !req
342. This is crazy.Copy !req
343. Honey, sit down.
Everything's gonna be okay now.Copy !req
344. I am your husband.
My name is Dean Proffitt.Copy !req
345. - We've been married for 13 years.
- Wait!Copy !req
346. I admit I have
forgotten numerous things.Copy !req
347. But I truly, from the depths of my soul,
do not remember you!Copy !req
348. Don't you think there'd be
some spark of recognition?Copy !req
349. - We don't know.
- Maybe you'll spark to this.Copy !req
350. I don't believe this.Copy !req
351. He could be some stranger
off the street.Copy !req
352. He seems to like you,
and he's a nice guy.Copy !req
353. - He's good-lookin'.
- Clean.Copy !req
354. Thank you.Copy !req
355. - What's my full name?
- Come on.Copy !req
356. - What is it?
- Mrs. Annie Proffitt.Copy !req
357. - What's my maiden name?
- Annie Goolihy.Copy !req
358. Where in God's name did I grow up?
Dog Patch?Copy !req
359. No, not there. Over in Goober, Idaho,
but it's a nuclear waste dump now.Copy !req
360. - Where did I meet you?
- Hank's Doughnut World.Copy !req
361. Seattle. You used to hang out there
every night when you were in the navy.Copy !req
362. - You remember...
- I was in the armed forces?Copy !req
363. I've still got some of those postcards
you sent me from Okinawa.Copy !req
364. Stop. The navy?Copy !req
365. Come on, honey. You gotta know.
You were in the navy!Copy !req
366. No, I don't know. I don't know
any of this! And I don't know you!Copy !req
367. I need some proof.Copy !req
368. Stop staring at me.Copy !req
369. Eat your checkers.Copy !req
370. If it were up to us, we'd be glad
to give her to you, but she's right.Copy !req
371. I'm gonna need
some verification.Copy !req
372. I know what you mean.
I understand.Copy !req
373. I don't like to talk about this in
public, and I've never told anybody.Copy !req
374. But she does have...Copy !req
375. a small strawberry-like
birthmark.Copy !req
376. It's kind of high up on
her left cheek, and it's unique.Copy !req
377. Come to Daddy.Copy !req
378. Mister? What was I doing
out in the ocean?Copy !req
379. That's something
you like to do.Copy !req
380. You know, diving
for oysters at night.Copy !req
381. Sometimes you get pretty far from
the shore, and that undertow... Well...Copy !req
382. Oysters? And a cold ocean at night?
That doesn't sound like me.Copy !req
383. I just ate a bug.Copy !req
384. Keep your mouth closed.
A lot of things flyin' around out here.Copy !req
385. Welcome home, baby!Copy !req
386. I feel faint.Copy !req
387. Come on, Buster.
Come on, Jackson.Copy !req
388. - No, this is wrong.
- Come along now.Copy !req
389. We've only been here
a couple of weeks.Copy !req
390. A lot of stuff still left
in boxes from the move...Copy !req
391. so I hardly recognize
the place myself.Copy !req
392. We moved here deliberately?Copy !req
393. Our last place
was a real dump.Copy !req
394. Come on.Copy !req
395. Our new palace.Copy !req
396. Well, let me show you around.
Maybe something will come back to ya.Copy !req
397. - Did I just go downhill?
- Look, it's comin' back already.Copy !req
398. Everything slants down here
toward the bedroom.Copy !req
399. Well, the dining room
and toilet.Copy !req
400. Only one.Copy !req
401. And here we are
at the old magic room.Copy !req
402. Put a lot of miles
on that mattress, huh?Copy !req
403. Later. All right.Copy !req
404. Here's where we have breakfast every
morning. Let's go upstairs to the attic.Copy !req
405. You can meet the boys.
Here they come!Copy !req
406. Hey, guys.Copy !req
407. - Charlie tried to kill my turtle.
- He didn't mean to throw it.Copy !req
408. - It slipped out of his hand.
- You're dead!Copy !req
409. Guys! Whoa!
Hey, look who's home!Copy !req
410. - Hi, Mom!
- Hi, Mom.Copy !req
411. Gee, Mom,
we really missed you.Copy !req
412. We're so glad you're back.Copy !req
413. They're... They're not mine?Copy !req
414. Honey, I was sure
you'd remember them.Copy !req
415. - I think I'd remember if I had three...
- Four, honey.Copy !req
416. Don't forget Little Joe.Copy !req
417. Well, that's about it
except for...Copy !req
418. Hey, she's been in there an hour.
What did you guys get her?Copy !req
419. - Dresses.
- The right sizes?Copy !req
420. You didn't tell us sizes.
All you said was just get some dresses.Copy !req
421. Okay, on the couch.
Come on, guys. Don't blow it, huh?Copy !req
422. Hey, a dirty magazine.Copy !req
423. Baby doll!Copy !req
424. This garment cannot possibly
be a part of my wardrobe.Copy !req
425. Let's forget for a moment
that it's a rag.Copy !req
426. But it happens to be
12 sizes too large.Copy !req
427. - It's not that bad.
- Not that bad?Copy !req
428. Well, come on, honey. You got
to admit you've lost a lot of weight.Copy !req
429. You used to be like a balloon.Copy !req
430. - Was I also shorter?
- Yes. You had a bad back.Copy !req
431. You walked kind of
hunched over, you know?Copy !req
432. I was short and fat?Copy !req
433. I'm sure you've got
a million questions.Copy !req
434. You've been through hell.Copy !req
435. So let's just take this thing one step
at a time. First let's meet the boys.Copy !req
436. In the middle we got the twins.
That's Greg and Charlie here.Copy !req
437. - He likes to invent things.
- Twins?Copy !req
438. Yeah, obviously
they're not identical.Copy !req
439. - Or I'd look like a shithead.
- Who asked you, butthole?Copy !req
440. Came out fightin'
and still at it.Copy !req
441. - Guys!
- Charlie and I get along very well, Mom.Copy !req
442. My twin brother and I
are best friends.Copy !req
443. He's the actor in the family.
Then we got the big guy.Copy !req
444. Eleven pounds, five ounces.
Come on, honey.Copy !req
445. Give it a try.
What's his name?Copy !req
446. Roy?Copy !req
447. No, Travis. Sweet Trav.Copy !req
448. - Now those are tits.
- It's my turn.Copy !req
449. Where did you... Wait, wait!Copy !req
450. Well, I was hopin' you'd recall
this guy. He's your newest, honey.Copy !req
451. Hi, Mom. My name's Joe.Copy !req
452. A falsetto child?Copy !req
453. - He thinks he's Pee-wee Herman.
- I love Pee-wee Herman.Copy !req
454. - Give your ma a kiss.
- No!Copy !req
455. Do they have a problem
with their glands?Copy !req
456. Hey, guys, easy, huh?
Come on!Copy !req
457. It's not us, Dad. It's Roy.Copy !req
458. They're great boys, aren't they?Copy !req
459. There's so many of them.Copy !req
460. You've always had
your heart set on six...Copy !req
461. so we'll just keep on tryin'.Copy !req
462. Dad, they're makin' me
drink blood!Copy !req
463. Come back here.Copy !req
464. They don't look
anything like me.Copy !req
465. They do take after your mother.
Let's hope they don't become lushes too.Copy !req
466. - My mother's a lush?
- Was, honey. Cirrhosis.Copy !req
467. She's...Copy !req
468. - What about my father?
- He's alive and well.Copy !req
469. He's due for parole in what?
Two years?Copy !req
470. Oh, God, I don't want
to hear any more.Copy !req
471. - Baby, listen.
- I just want to remember for myself.Copy !req
472. The doctor says the best thing for you
is to get back to your normal routine.Copy !req
473. You just gotta get
your memory back that way.Copy !req
474. So you gotta do
what you normally do.Copy !req
475. What is it I normally do?Copy !req
476. I prepared and handled raw food?Copy !req
477. I hunt it. You cook it.Copy !req
478. You shot a chicken?Copy !req
479. Come on, honey. Save the jokes.
We're starvin' here.Copy !req
480. It's strange, but...Copy !req
481. I feel as if I've never
done this before in my life.Copy !req
482. Dad, are you and Uncle Billy really
gonna open up a miniature golf course?Copy !req
483. We're just gonna build it as soon as
somebody gives us the money.Copy !req
484. - What's miniature golf?
- For midget brains like you.Copy !req
485. - I was only asking.
- You shut up.Copy !req
486. - You can't...
- You guys can't do this.Copy !req
487. I got it.Copy !req
488. You're gonna make
that turtle sick again.Copy !req
489. You got to breathe on it.Copy !req
490. Look at me, Dad!Copy !req
491. Nothing's happening.Copy !req
492. Well, pumpkin,
you've got to light the burner.Copy !req
493. Thirty seconds.Copy !req
494. Twenty-nine, 28, 27...Copy !req
495. - Hey! Whoa!
- Fire!Copy !req
496. - Fire!
- Come here. Sit down.Copy !req
497. - Let me see your hand.
- I smell hair.Copy !req
498. I'll get the burn ointment.
You'll be all right.Copy !req
499. Okay, let's see what we...
Way to hustle, guys.Copy !req
500. You all right?Copy !req
501. Well, now we know they work.Copy !req
502. - Pretty good eats, Annie.
- Are mashed potatoes supposed to crunch?Copy !req
503. Where are you going?Copy !req
504. Out. I go out every night
after dinner.Copy !req
505. Meet the boys at the bowling alley
for a couple of beers.Copy !req
506. - Don't leave me alone with them.
- Come on, honey. That's not fair.Copy !req
507. You know we live like this.Copy !req
508. It never bothered you before.
It's just the way it is.Copy !req
509. I think you'd better
get used to it.Copy !req
510. When are you coming home?Copy !req
511. When I feel like it.
It just depends on how drunk I get.Copy !req
512. - How's it goin' with your debutante?
- She's one lousy cook.Copy !req
513. But as long as
I don't have to do it.Copy !req
514. How long are you gonna keep her?Copy !req
515. Let's see,
25 bucks a day, huh?Copy !req
516. Figure little wifey-pooh
can work off what she owes me...Copy !req
517. in a little over a month.Copy !req
518. - Your first night with her, huh?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
519. Come on, huh?Copy !req
520. I'm not gonna tell you she doesn't have
a great body, but that's, you know...Copy !req
521. A pretty decent face too...
She's too rich for my blood.Copy !req
522. Chocolate cake's
a little bit rich, too...Copy !req
523. but I wouldn't mind eatin' one
every once in a while.Copy !req
524. Nope, it's not my style. Of course,
eating a whole cake isn't either.Copy !req
525. But I'll tell you something, I'm gonna
have some fun with her tonight.Copy !req
526. - What are you gonna do?
- What are you drinkin' there?Copy !req
527. Oh, just some rotgut.
Cheapest stuff they got.Copy !req
528. Perfect.Copy !req
529. Wait. Wait.Copy !req
530. You jumped my bones
the first night we met.Copy !req
531. We did it on the first date?Copy !req
532. Well, I couldn't call it
a date really.Copy !req
533. We just did it right there
in the parking lot of the 7-Eleven.Copy !req
534. I'm a slut.Copy !req
535. - Huh?
- Nothing.Copy !req
536. I'm a little drunk tonight, baby, so
it might take me a while to get there.Copy !req
537. What? No boom-boom?Copy !req
538. Hey, I understand.Copy !req
539. You probably just want to go right
to sleep and skip the fun stuff, huh?Copy !req
540. - Yes.
- Okay.Copy !req
541. Thank you. No boom-boom.Copy !req
542. Baby, the couch.Copy !req
543. What?Copy !req
544. You see, honey, the reason
you got a bad back...Copy !req
545. is because the bed's too soft for you
and that's why you sleep on the couch.Copy !req
546. I'm a short, fat slut.Copy !req
547. Help! My body!Copy !req
548. Rover, go!Copy !req
549. - Up! Up, up, up!
- Help.Copy !req
550. - Come on.
- Help.Copy !req
551. Time to get up.Copy !req
552. Got to fix the kids' lunches, or they're
gonna miss their bus for school.Copy !req
553. I don't care
if they don't go to school.Copy !req
554. Okay, they'll just
be with you all day.Copy !req
555. Bye, Mom.Copy !req
556. - Whoa! The bus is here.
- Bye, Mom.Copy !req
557. - 7:15! Let's go!
- Hurry up, Mom.Copy !req
558. My name is Travis.Copy !req
559. - Come on, Joey.
- Stop honking!Copy !req
560. - Twin? Oh, Twin?
- She means you.Copy !req
561. Have a good day at school, honey.Copy !req
562. You ready? Come on.Copy !req
563. Bye, Mom.
You're doin' a great job.Copy !req
564. I'm off to work.Copy !req
565. Somebody's got to keep this family
in the lap of luxury.Copy !req
566. Oh, I figured you'd forget.Copy !req
567. - So I made it for you myself.
- What?Copy !req
568. Your list of daily chores.
See ya tonight.Copy !req
569. My, oh, my
I got a wonderful slaveCopy !req
570. And you are a genius.Copy !req
571. You're living in a nightmare
that starts at the crack of dawn.Copy !req
572. Down!Copy !req
573. There.Copy !req
574. Dinner! Dinner!Copy !req
575. She needs food.Copy !req
576. This is fun.Copy !req
577. Hey, guys.Copy !req
578. - What's goin' on here?
- Nothing. We're okay. We're fine.Copy !req
579. - How about you?
- What's wrong with her?Copy !req
580. She's been like that
for an hour now.Copy !req
581. - She's getting better though.
- Better?Copy !req
582. Yeah, she's not going...Copy !req
583. - Why'd she do that?
- She destroyed the scarecrow, Dad.Copy !req
584. She ripped
the sucker's head off.Copy !req
585. I like when she goes...Copy !req
586. Hey, baby doll?Copy !req
587. What's for dinner?Copy !req
588. Okay, I'll take it from here.
Go on. Get upstairs.Copy !req
589. Dad, will you trade her in
for a new one?Copy !req
590. She'll be all right.Copy !req
591. Come on, guys. Move it.Copy !req
592. Feel better?Copy !req
593. I don't belong here.
I feel it.Copy !req
594. Don't you think I feel it?Copy !req
595. I can't do any of these vile things,
and I wouldn't want to.Copy !req
596. My life is like death.Copy !req
597. My children are the spawn of hell,
and you're the devil.Copy !req
598. Oh, God!Copy !req
599. Baby, we like you.Copy !req
600. She's okay.
She's doin' the dishes. No more...Copy !req
601. Good. All right.Copy !req
602. - Dad?
- Yeah?Copy !req
603. Do you think she'll figure out
we're tricking her and leave?Copy !req
604. Not if we don't blow it.Copy !req
605. - What are you doing?
- Looking for memorabilia.Copy !req
606. Memora... what?Copy !req
607. Scrapbooks, photographs.Copy !req
608. Something that will
spark some wisp of a memory.Copy !req
609. Do we or do we not
possess these things?Copy !req
610. Well...Copy !req
611. Do you mean to tell me
there's not one piece...Copy !req
612. of photographic evidence
of our life together...Copy !req
613. anywhere in existence?Copy !req
614. Well, I don't know where
they'd be because...Copy !req
615. you know, we lost
a lot of stuff in the move.Copy !req
616. And it's possible that we lost...Copy !req
617. The closet.Copy !req
618. And you.Copy !req
619. That's right. This is me, and
I'm standing in front of the closet.Copy !req
620. Something's familiar.Copy !req
621. You got it. We used to do it
in the closet.Copy !req
622. Stop with the sex stories.Copy !req
623. See, now you're getting grumpy.
It's because you've been busy.Copy !req
624. I want you to stop everything,
go on in here, take a bath.Copy !req
625. Hey, guys, get the turtle
out of the bathtub.Copy !req
626. I'm gonna look for the pictures
first thing in the morning, okay?Copy !req
627. All right. Good night, honey.Copy !req
628. Somebody better be dead.Copy !req
629. I want you to do me a favor.Copy !req
630. - Hey, Billy, who ya talkin' to?
- Nobody.Copy !req
631. - Who's that?
- No one.Copy !req
632. - Hey, is that Dean? Hi, Dean.
- Hi, Gertie.Copy !req
633. - Why don't you come on in?
- Go back to bed, Gertie.Copy !req
634. If you're gonna treat me like that,
I'm goin' home.Copy !req
635. Don't be like that.Copy !req
636. Billy, remember in high school how you
faked our I.D. S? I need a fake bride.Copy !req
637. - I'm busy.
- Not anymore. She's goin' home.Copy !req
638. I'll do it, but if we get caught,
it's your ass.Copy !req
639. It's my wedding day.
Why do I look so annoyed?Copy !req
640. Your dad showed up shit-faced.Copy !req
641. He threw potato salad all over my mom.
We had to throw him out.Copy !req
642. Why do I have this depressed look
on my face all the time?Copy !req
643. You were grumpy a lot.
You were losing the weight.Copy !req
644. Then you gained it back.
Thin, fat, thin...Copy !req
645. Was I always this miserable?
Wasn't I ever happy?Copy !req
646. Well, sure, honey, lots.Copy !req
647. You're the happiest little wife
and mother in the world, really.Copy !req
648. Look at this. Before you lost
the weight. Can you believe it?Copy !req
649. All right, now that's it.
Are you satisfied?Copy !req
650. - Yes.
- Good.Copy !req
651. I suppose I belong here
in this hovel.Copy !req
652. Come on, Jackson. Come on.Copy !req
653. Well, this is my life.Copy !req
654. I didn't marry
very well, did I?Copy !req
655. I love L.A.Copy !req
656. I love all my starlets.
What were your names again?Copy !req
657. - Tofutti Klein.
- Tofutti. I love it!Copy !req
658. If that's my mother-in-law,
tell her I'm not here.Copy !req
659. You're Kim and Kimberly.Copy !req
660. - The Stayton yacht.
- Hello, Andrew. It's Mrs. Mintz.Copy !req
661. I'm so virile. I'm so rich.Copy !req
662. - I'd like to speak to my daughter.
- They're not here, madam.Copy !req
663. They've gone out shopping.Copy !req
664. There's the snap.Copy !req
665. A little bit lower.
Yeah, lower.Copy !req
666. That's good. That's good.Copy !req
667. Uncle Billy, were you really
in the Coast Guard?Copy !req
668. Damn right.Copy !req
669. Why does he keep staring at me?Copy !req
670. - Is he?
- Yes.Copy !req
671. He was staring at me with
his mouth open all through dinner.Copy !req
672. Honey, Billy was
your high school boyfriend.Copy !req
673. You don't get any of the old feelings
back when you look at him, do you?Copy !req
674. I don't wanna do it.Copy !req
675. You gotta do it if you wanna
be one of the Gruesome Ghouls.Copy !req
676. It's part of the initiation.
Think about it.Copy !req
677. That's good.
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
678. Sugar lips, I think our guest
needs another beer.Copy !req
679. I really shouldn't,
but maybe just one more...Copy !req
680. six-pack?Copy !req
681. - That a girl.
- Thank you.Copy !req
682. - It's all the beer.
- Whoa, buttercup.Copy !req
683. Just about time for dessert, huh?
How about some brownies?Copy !req
684. - I didn't make any brownies.
- How about some chocolate cream pie?Copy !req
685. I made chocolate cream pie.Copy !req
686. - Is this gonna work?
- My ideas always work. I'm gifted.Copy !req
687. I loved it when you glued Joey
to the toilet seat.Copy !req
688. I was thinking about it at work. What
we need is a theme for this golf course.Copy !req
689. All we need is a couple of contraptions
you can knock golf balls through.Copy !req
690. You're worryin' too much about it.Copy !req
691. - What's the score? I had my eyes closed.
- Thirty-two, ten.Copy !req
692. - Who's winning?
- The guys with 32.Copy !req
693. Right.Copy !req
694. This is great.Copy !req
695. Who did this?Copy !req
696. - Hey, what happened?
- One of them...Copy !req
697. This happened.Copy !req
698. You guys are beggin' for it,
I'm tellin' ya.Copy !req
699. What are you blustering about?
You'll never punish them.Copy !req
700. Ease up there, love chop.
Just ease up.Copy !req
701. Ease up? Ease up?Copy !req
702. Ever since I walked through that door,
I have cooked, cleaned...Copy !req
703. scrubbed, chopped wood.Copy !req
704. I've waited on you, your dogs,
your kids and your friends...Copy !req
705. in the hopes that I would remember
some shred of my life...Copy !req
706. and now it is entirely clear to me
why I've chosen to block it out!Copy !req
707. - None of this ever bothered you...
- Bothered me before.Copy !req
708. It bothers me now!Copy !req
709. He looks downfield.
He throws it!Copy !req
710. - All right, Joe!
- Is that so?Copy !req
711. Hey, Joe. Come on, guys.
No more jokes on Mom today, huh?Copy !req
712. You really got her
right where you want her, don't you?Copy !req
713. I got everything under control.
Don't worry.Copy !req
714. - This is flat. Give me another one.
- I only got six.Copy !req
715. I guess we're gonna have to send out
the old ball and chain to buy more, huh?Copy !req
716. Good stuff.Copy !req
717. Your chocolate cream pie.Copy !req
718. Thanks, honey.Copy !req
719. I guess it's kind of tough to serve
with your hands stuck to plates.Copy !req
720. Clear a space.Copy !req
721. - There we are.
- Honey, we need forks.Copy !req
722. - Sugar lips?
- Yeah?Copy !req
723. Wait a minute!Copy !req
724. Fire, fire, fire!Copy !req
725. Come on, guys!
Go get her!Copy !req
726. Thanks for a lovely dinner!Copy !req
727. - She never did that before.
- Well, she did it now.Copy !req
728. - Look at this. I gotta go to work.
- Wait for me.Copy !req
729. She went this way. This way, guys.
Gruesome Ghouls attack!Copy !req
730. - What should I do, Travis?
- Go home.Copy !req
731. Wait a minute.Copy !req
732. - I've got you!
- Let's tickle her!Copy !req
733. That hurts!Copy !req
734. Leave me alone!Copy !req
735. Time to get up.Copy !req
736. Go to the bathroom
and do what you normally do.Copy !req
737. - Gonna squirt us with the hose again?
- That's up to you.Copy !req
738. - I gotta feed my turtle.
- Damn turtle stole my headband.Copy !req
739. - Joey, come on. Time to get up.
- Dumb thing moves a centimeter an hour.Copy !req
740. I don't want to.
The teacher's a big fat tub.Copy !req
741. Proffitt boys, come up here.Copy !req
742. Miss Pitcannon tells me
you don't want to take these tests.Copy !req
743. I'm itchy, and I wanna go home!Copy !req
744. You may go stand in the corner
until you can talk like a little boy.Copy !req
745. All of you children
are new in this school.Copy !req
746. These scores will determine
your placement in future classes.Copy !req
747. You must really concentrate.Copy !req
748. - Make a face.
- Stop that!Copy !req
749. - I'm in real bad shape.
- Nonsense!Copy !req
750. If you concentrate, I'm sure
you can control those little bodies.Copy !req
751. I see that, Amanda.Copy !req
752. Joey, sit!Copy !req
753. - Is anyone at your home?
- Yeah, our mom is.Copy !req
754. You have a mother now?
Your father remarried?Copy !req
755. Yeah, we got a new mother now.Copy !req
756. Well, good, then I'm calling
both your parents.Copy !req
757. Mrs. Burbridge, I'm Annie Proffitt.
What happened?Copy !req
758. Well, Mrs. Proffitt,
apparently your children...Copy !req
759. consider themselves above taking
the Schwartzman-Heinliken tests.Copy !req
760. I'm sorry. What are
the Schwartzman-Heinliken tests?Copy !req
761. Placement tests. We find them
very valuable in measuring...Copy !req
762. intelligence and potential.Copy !req
763. Sit still!Copy !req
764. Your children are
a discipline problem.Copy !req
765. I know. I have had
difficulties myself.Copy !req
766. - What did you do now?
- They decided to play sick...Copy !req
767. and not very convincingly.Copy !req
768. I believe their problems exist
because of deficient parental guidance.Copy !req
769. The children are
slovenly, incorrigible...Copy !req
770. and being reared by a father who clearly
isn't concerned about their welfare...Copy !req
771. but is himself
just a large child.Copy !req
772. - Excuse me, Mrs. Burbridge.
- The test results. Thank you, Gloria.Copy !req
773. I'll look these over as soon as
I finish with this woman.Copy !req
774. Oh, my God.Copy !req
775. I'll see you later
in the cafeteria.Copy !req
776. Mrs. Burbridge, would you
come over here for a moment?Copy !req
777. Has it escaped your attention these
children have head-to-toe poison oak?Copy !req
778. Why, no... Well, yes, but...Copy !req
779. But what? My children are
in need of medical assistance.Copy !req
780. And you can sit here and smugly
lecture me on the importance of tests?Copy !req
781. Tests which exist to pigeonhole
children's potential...Copy !req
782. a thing which cannot
possibly be measured...Copy !req
783. least of all
by anal compulsive Huns.Copy !req
784. And my husband may be a large child,
but that's none of your business.Copy !req
785. And my children may be rotten,
but they're mine.Copy !req
786. And I think that
they're bright and sensitive.Copy !req
787. So I have no doubts whatsoever
about their intelligence.Copy !req
788. I do, however, have
serious doubts about yours.Copy !req
789. Kids, get in the car.
Let's go.Copy !req
790. Move!Copy !req
791. - She told her off.
- Dad never did that.Copy !req
792. Discipline problem?Copy !req
793. My regards to Schwartzman
and Heinliken.Copy !req
794. I can't stop itching!Copy !req
795. What do you expect when
you roll around in poison oak?Copy !req
796. I want you to do what the doctor said.
Put it right on the red parts.Copy !req
797. Okay? Then we're going
to clean up this room.Copy !req
798. - It's a disgrace.
- We like it like a disgrace.Copy !req
799. Dad lets us do whatever we want.Copy !req
800. Well, it's trickling down the stairway.
Joey, don't get that near your eyes.Copy !req
801. Look, I want you to read this.
You see what it says?Copy !req
802. "Don't get near your eyes."
Read on.Copy !req
803. - What's this all about?
- He's embarrassed 'cause he can't read.Copy !req
804. - Well, he's a small child.
- He can't read for a small child either.Copy !req
805. The teacher makes fun of 'im.Copy !req
806. Okay, we'll talk about this later.
You kids go to sleep.Copy !req
807. Where is that?Copy !req
808. - What is it?
- Where're you going?Copy !req
809. Out, if I can ever find my...Copy !req
810. Wait. Not tonight.Copy !req
811. We have to talk.Copy !req
812. - When I get home. I'm in a hurry.
- Now.Copy !req
813. You know I let the water routine slide,
but let's not push it.Copy !req
814. I did get carried away with the hose,
but this is important.Copy !req
815. - We have to talk.
- Fine. What's on you mind, sugar lips?Copy !req
816. Stop calling me sugar lips.
Call me Annie.Copy !req
817. Get to the point, Annie. I got
things to do. The guys are waiting.Copy !req
818. You can't run out when things
get complicated. The kids are sick.Copy !req
819. They got calamine lotion all over 'em.
What do you want me to do?Copy !req
820. I want you to take on
some grownup responsibility.Copy !req
821. I earn the money.
That's my grownup responsibility.Copy !req
822. Are you aware that Joey can't read and
that Travis only reads smut magazines?Copy !req
823. - I can't get him out of the bathroom.
- I'll build you another bathroom.Copy !req
824. They don't need another bathroom.
They need guidance from you.Copy !req
825. Wait. Don't you worry about
me and my boys. We're pals.Copy !req
826. They have enough pals.
They need a father.Copy !req
827. Hey, I decided a long time
before you and me...Copy !req
828. We decided a long time ago,
before we even started this family...Copy !req
829. we'd raise these kids naturally,
not force rules on them.Copy !req
830. - I'm talking about...
- Stuff you shouldn't be talking about.Copy !req
831. You're stepping over the line.
It's none of your business anyway.Copy !req
832. - My children are none of my business?
- Look, now I'm late! Thanks a lot!Copy !req
833. - You asleep?
- No. Go away.Copy !req
834. Listen, I'm...Copy !req
835. I'm sorry I came down
on you so hard before.Copy !req
836. That's okay.Copy !req
837. Don't think I don't appreciate
all the housework you've been doing...Copy !req
838. and how you handle the kids
and all that.Copy !req
839. I think you're doing great.Copy !req
840. What you said about me
and the boys tonight...Copy !req
841. I guess you probably...Copy !req
842. Maybe you got a small point there
and I can't...Copy !req
843. I can't talk to you while
you're turned away from me.Copy !req
844. Will you please get your head out
and look at me?Copy !req
845. - No!
- Why?Copy !req
846. Because I'm so ugly.Copy !req
847. I got poison oak too.Copy !req
848. Come on, now.
Nobody cares what you look like.Copy !req
849. I mean, we do like
the way you look.Copy !req
850. Normally, you look real pretty.Copy !req
851. You just don't now.Copy !req
852. Honey... Forget it.Copy !req
853. I don't even have a wedding ring.Copy !req
854. - What?
- I lost my wedding ring at sea.Copy !req
855. Okay. Come on.Copy !req
856. - Let's go.
- Oh, no!Copy !req
857. I'm not going back
in the water barrel.Copy !req
858. I'm puttin' you in the bedroom.
I'll take the couch.Copy !req
859. Listen, I've had poison oak
a million times.Copy !req
860. Come on, guys. Up!Copy !req
861. You know, I once got poison oak
on my back...Copy !req
862. and...Copy !req
863. Well, don't you worry.
It'll be gone in no time.Copy !req
864. Lift your head. That's it.Copy !req
865. - There. Is that better?
- Yeah.Copy !req
866. - You all right?
- Yes.Copy !req
867. Tell me something about my life,
about my past, please.Copy !req
868. Something not horrible.Copy !req
869. There was that time...Copy !req
870. when you were...Copy !req
871. workin' at Burger Boy
over in Lewitsville.Copy !req
872. This kid started chokin'
on a french fry.Copy !req
873. Everybody in the place panicked,
including me, except for you.Copy !req
874. You ran right over there to him
and you gave him that Heimlich maneuver.Copy !req
875. You know, where you...Copy !req
876. Kid puked up the fry and they named you
Burger Boy employee of the month.Copy !req
877. It's great. They put your picture
above the cash register.Copy !req
878. I was really proud of you.
I mean it.Copy !req
879. You can be quite charming
when you want to be.Copy !req
880. You just caught me on a bad day.Copy !req
881. Good night, Annie.Copy !req
882. Good night.Copy !req
883. - Heads up!
- After I got out of the Coast Guard...Copy !req
884. I looked up Dean, seeing as we used
to play high school football together.Copy !req
885. Used to call him Mean Dean Proffitt.
Used to call me Bad Billy Pratt.Copy !req
886. - Out.
- Billy, when did we date?Copy !req
887. Let's eat!Copy !req
888. - It might be interesting for adults.
- Are you talking about the golf course?Copy !req
889. Yeah. Them guys in suits
come down in less than a week.Copy !req
890. What do you think about this:
Sink 'Em and Drink 'Em.Copy !req
891. Eighteen holes of miniature golf
based on famous breweries.Copy !req
892. I think what I thought yesterday.
It's a lousy idea.Copy !req
893. I thought you'd think it was
a better idea today, being sober.Copy !req
894. What about other places?
Foreign places.Copy !req
895. What do you mean, like France?
Africa?Copy !req
896. I speak French!Copy !req
897. It just came out.Copy !req
898. Do I know what I said?
Yes, I do.Copy !req
899. I must've learned that in Paris.Copy !req
900. When was I in Paris?
In the navy.Copy !req
901. - Navy.
- It's a stupid idea in any language.Copy !req
902. Besides, we're buildin'
these things in America.Copy !req
903. This isn't a bad idea. I could invent
some wild things here. Go on.Copy !req
904. Well, like the Taj Mahal.
Seven Wonders of the World.Copy !req
905. Yeah. Bring the Wonders
of the World to Elk Cove.Copy !req
906. - I gotta bring this in for a price.
- I can bring it in.Copy !req
907. Can you draw me some pictures tonight
so I can see what you're talkin' about?Copy !req
908. - What's this?
- Travis found a girlfriend.Copy !req
909. Hey, Trav!
Don't knock her up!Copy !req
910. Very funny.Copy !req
911. - Watch your language.
- Oh, Mom!Copy !req
912. - Come on. What are you talkin' about?
- Pick a Wonder.Copy !req
913. - Stevie Wonder.
- Yeah. Pick another Wonder.Copy !req
914. - Wonder Bread.
- Give me one Wonder.Copy !req
915. There's Mount Rushmore,
the Parthenon.Copy !req
916. - Parthenon, right.
- St. Basil's, the Russian Cathedral.Copy !req
917. Grand Canyon. Hey, everybody'll
love that. Egyptian pyramids.Copy !req
918. - There's the Eiffel Tower.
- That's expensive. If it rains...Copy !req
919. Hey. Fiberglass. Perfect!Copy !req
920. Let's clean up for an early dinner.
I've got a lot of drawing to do.Copy !req
921. Isn't Dad gonna eat dinner
with us tonight?Copy !req
922. He had to go out.Copy !req
923. - He had to go bowling this time.
- Really?Copy !req
924. You know, it's pretty hard to go
bowling without a bowling ball.Copy !req
925. - The trophy was gorgeous.
- I know. I wanted it too.Copy !req
926. - Two-eighty.
- I'll do the cookin', honeyCopy !req
927. I'll pay the rent
I know I done you wrongCopy !req
928. You remember that rainy evening
I put you outCopy !req
929. - With nothin' but a fine-toothed comb
- What do you want with ol' Sweet Mouth?Copy !req
930. Ain't that a shame
I know I was to blameCopy !req
931. Bill Bailey
won't you please come on homeCopy !req
932. Scott Murphy, bring your invoice
up to the front.Copy !req
933. This ain't your average pile
of fertilizer here.Copy !req
934. No sirree.
This here's a special blend.Copy !req
935. Fish heads, shrimp skins,
crab claws, earthworm droppings...Copy !req
936. I don't wanna know
that much about it.Copy !req
937. - Here you go.
- After this you get to shovel fish guts.Copy !req
938. If you're lucky,
we'll let you clean the truck.Copy !req
939. - I forgot to give you this.
- What?Copy !req
940. - Why do I got to put on airs?
- Stop fussing. You look great.Copy !req
941. Well, they put their pants on
just like me, one leg at a time.Copy !req
942. - You can't catch it anyway.
- Don't be nervous, okay?Copy !req
943. If we don't get it, so what?
We've been through rougher times.Copy !req
944. I think.Copy !req
945. Gentlemen, this is Dean Proffitt,
inventor and master craftsman.Copy !req
946. - It's all yours, Dean.
- This is what we're here for tonight.Copy !req
947. It's the Wonders of the World
miniature golf course.Copy !req
948. I think that if you'll look at these
pictures you'll begin to feel...Copy !req
949. what we're trying to do is bring some
of this outer world into Elk Cove.Copy !req
950. This is the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
It's going to double as a pizza stand.Copy !req
951. It's an idea for the future.Copy !req
952. I see the pagodas caught your eye.Copy !req
953. Aw, shit, I'm sorry.
Let me get that.Copy !req
954. Waitress.
Get over here, will ya?Copy !req
955. Have you ever been nervous
in your life?Copy !req
956. Go ahead.
Ask me if we got the money.Copy !req
957. - Did you get the money?
- We got the money.Copy !req
958. - Great! That's so great!
- Can you believe it?Copy !req
959. Step up. Stroke it up there.Copy !req
960. Now, she comes back. Quick.
See through the hole.Copy !req
961. It's got three choices. This time
it's gonna go past the oil funnel...Copy !req
962. past the plastic band,
into the kids' sand shovel...Copy !req
963. and flour sifter.Copy !req
964. Turn around quick. Here it comes.
Should be out about now.Copy !req
965. - Show me your invention.
- You're gonna hate it.Copy !req
966. I'm not gonna hate it.
I love 'em.Copy !req
967. That's nice.Copy !req
968. - I gotta tell her, Billy.
- What?Copy !req
969. I gotta tell Annie the truth.Copy !req
970. In the beginning it was okay
because it was part of a gag.Copy !req
971. Now it's more like lies.Copy !req
972. - I know what you're thinkin'.
- I'm not thinkin' anything.Copy !req
973. Yeah, you are.
I'm gonna tell her.Copy !req
974. I know it's time to tell her.Copy !req
975. Ooh, Dr. Death looks mad.Copy !req
976. - Joker's saying, "No!"
- I know. What does he say up here?Copy !req
977. - "I will re... re... re...
- Reduce.Copy !req
978. Reduce your puny planet...Copy !req
979. - to rub... rub...
- Rubble.Copy !req
980. - Rubble."
- Good. That's very good, sweetie.Copy !req
981. Are you gonna leave?Copy !req
982. No. I'm your mommy.Copy !req
983. Sometimes moms leave.Copy !req
984. Well, I guess maybe they do,
but I'm not gonna go anywhere.Copy !req
985. Good.Copy !req
986. Ooh, what is this?
Is this a present for me?Copy !req
987. - I made it from macaroni.
- I love it.Copy !req
988. I'll always wear it.Copy !req
989. - Hey, Dad.
- Hi. How's it goin', guys?Copy !req
990. I got the part of Tiny Tim
in the school play.Copy !req
991. - I got an "A" in English.
- I'm flunkin' math.Copy !req
992. I guess we better work on it.Copy !req
993. You're just in time.
Dr. Death is on the rampage.Copy !req
994. Annie, I need to talk to you.Copy !req
995. Alone, guys.Copy !req
996. Something wrong?Copy !req
997. Well, no. Yeah.Copy !req
998. No, I just need to tell you something.
Here, sit down.Copy !req
999. What is it?Copy !req
1000. Annie, I've done something...Copy !req
1001. that I'm ashamed of.Copy !req
1002. - I just...
- I already know.Copy !req
1003. You do?Copy !req
1004. What do you know?Copy !req
1005. That you work nights
at the fertilizer plant.Copy !req
1006. You don't have to be ashamed
because you shovel fish guts.Copy !req
1007. I'm proud of you
no matter what you do.Copy !req
1008. - Is that it?
- Well, that's one of the things.Copy !req
1009. But l... No. Not really.Copy !req
1010. What is it?Copy !req
1011. L...Copy !req
1012. God, I forgot your birthday.Copy !req
1013. - It's my birthday?
- Come on. Get dressed.Copy !req
1014. Jim Dandy to the rescueCopy !req
1015. Go, Jim Dandy
Go, Jim DandyCopy !req
1016. I was sittin' on a mountaintopCopy !req
1017. Thirty-thousand feet to dropCopy !req
1018. Spied a lady on a runaway horseCopy !req
1019. Uh-huh, that's right, of courseCopy !req
1020. Come on. I've had it.Copy !req
1021. - Are we going home?
- What?Copy !req
1022. - Oh, no. Aren't you hot?
- Yeah. Let's go outside.Copy !req
1023. - Come on.
- Let's not forget this at $7 a pop.Copy !req
1024. Don't worry about the cost.
It's your birthday.Copy !req
1025. One last toast to your birthday.Copy !req
1026. Oh. Whoops. I lost my bottom.Copy !req
1027. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1028. - There. They always do that.
- Okay.Copy !req
1029. - Happy birthday, Annie.
- Thanks, Dean.Copy !req
1030. - I never tasted anything like this.
- It's good stuff.Copy !req
1031. - Boy, it sure is pretty, isn't it?
- Beautiful.Copy !req
1032. Why do they honk three times?Copy !req
1033. That's the way they signal
they're coming home.Copy !req
1034. It's a legend of Arturo...Copy !req
1035. who was a Portuguese fisherman.Copy !req
1036. He met this beautiful girl
his first night in town, Katerina.Copy !req
1037. Eventually, they fell in love.Copy !req
1038. But the problem was that Katerina's
father was the territorial governor.Copy !req
1039. He didn't want his only little girl
runnin' around with a lowly fisherman.Copy !req
1040. He told Arturo he'd have to
ship off, which he did...Copy !req
1041. but not before he told Katerina
he'd be back for her.Copy !req
1042. And when he came back, he'd signal with
three long blasts, just like you heard.Copy !req
1043. She could dive off the rocks into
the water, swim out to the boat...Copy !req
1044. and they'd be on their way.Copy !req
1045. - Oh, I love this story.
- A year later, all went as planned.Copy !req
1046. When she was swimmin' out
to the boat, the fog got so thick...Copy !req
1047. that she couldn't find the boat.Copy !req
1048. Arturo panicked and he called out,
"Katerina! Katerina!"Copy !req
1049. Katerina yelled back, "Arturo!"
With that, he dove off the boat...Copy !req
1050. into the icy waters and they...Copy !req
1051. - Kissed?
- No, they drowned.Copy !req
1052. They never found each other
and they both drowned.Copy !req
1053. - That's a terrible story.
- But the legend is...Copy !req
1054. that they reunited at the bottom
of the sea, right over there...Copy !req
1055. and every time you see
the spray goin' up, it's them.Copy !req
1056. - Making love?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1057. Forever and ever.Copy !req
1058. What, Annie?Copy !req
1059. How old am I?Copy !req
1060. Twenty-nine.Copy !req
1061. Was it always like this?Copy !req
1062. Every time with you
is like the first time.Copy !req
1063. Come on, guys!
Let us sleep for a while!Copy !req
1064. - It's all right.
- That's it. I'm gonna spank 'em.Copy !req
1065. I've had it.
Every one of 'em's gonna get it.Copy !req
1066. Surprise!Copy !req
1067. - A washing machine.
- You like it?Copy !req
1068. - Honey, it's so expensive.
- No shit.Copy !req
1069. I love it.Copy !req
1070. Thank you.Copy !req
1071. She might have no tits,
but she has a nice ass.Copy !req
1072. What did he say?Copy !req
1073. This is ludicrous. I've called
every week for two months.Copy !req
1074. And I've looked forward
to each and every call.Copy !req
1075. Do you have the gall to tell me
that I've missed her again?Copy !req
1076. She's sleeping.Copy !req
1077. I don't believe you.
If you do not produce Joanna...Copy !req
1078. in one week, I am going to hire a mass
of mercenaries to hunt you down...Copy !req
1079. and chop off the protruding parts
of your body.Copy !req
1080. - Is that clear?
- I'll find her.Copy !req
1081. I mean, you'll have
your daughter soon. Bye.Copy !req
1082. Point the boat back
to Elk's Snout.Copy !req
1083. You and Mommy are going to take
a little trip, aren't we?Copy !req
1084. We's gonna go bye-bye. Yes.Copy !req
1085. - Sit there and don't get dirty.
- I hate this!Copy !req
1086. - This is boring.
- It's not so bad to get dressed up.Copy !req
1087. I feel like
the goddamn Brady Bunch.Copy !req
1088. - Dad's here.
- Mom, Dad's home.Copy !req
1089. Hey, guys.Copy !req
1090. I gotta go put on a suit.
Gertie's picking me up.Copy !req
1091. How could you guys go hunting
on an important day like this?Copy !req
1092. Easy. The pheasant
don't play miniature golf.Copy !req
1093. Yeah, huntin' calms Billy down.Copy !req
1094. - The ceremonies start in an hour.
- Billy, hang this guy up.Copy !req
1095. I'll clean him tonight.
Sweetie, I'll be ready in a second.Copy !req
1096. I lent the station wagon to Gertie,
so we have to take the truck.Copy !req
1097. God, what a mess.Copy !req
1098. Feathers!Copy !req
1099. "J.S."Copy !req
1100. Honey, would you hand me
a towel there?Copy !req
1101. Thanks.Copy !req
1102. What is this?Copy !req
1103. No, that's my question.
I found them in the truck.Copy !req
1104. I don't know what these are.Copy !req
1105. L... Who... Here.Copy !req
1106. We gotta get goin'.
We're gonna be late for the golf...Copy !req
1107. Thanks for puttin'
my clothes on the bed.Copy !req
1108. - Oh, stop it.
- This is nothing!Copy !req
1109. Nothing? I give you
the best years of my life.Copy !req
1110. I've raised your children.
I bore your fruit four times...Copy !req
1111. and you tell me this is nothing?Copy !req
1112. You're making a big deal
out of a little thing.Copy !req
1113. That little thing happens to be
the number one cause of divorce.Copy !req
1114. Where's my jacket?
What divorce? What are you saying?Copy !req
1115. - I'm saying what I'm saying.
- You're saying what you're saying.Copy !req
1116. - What, you want a divorce?
- Yeah. Maybe I do.Copy !req
1117. - You can't have one.
- Oh, really?Copy !req
1118. - I can have a divorce.
- Where's my damn boots?Copy !req
1119. I can get a divorce if I want to.
I don't need your permission.Copy !req
1120. Do you love her?Copy !req
1121. Do you?Copy !req
1122. Tell me.Copy !req
1123. Honestly? Yes and no.Copy !req
1124. More yes than no?Copy !req
1125. This is unbelievable!
How did you find... Where did...Copy !req
1126. I'm glad this happened.Copy !req
1127. You know, I've been trying to figure out
a way to tell you this. Sit down.Copy !req
1128. I want to tell you something.Copy !req
1129. "J.S." is you. These are yours,
and we're not married.Copy !req
1130. - There. God, I finally said it.
- What's her name? Jacqueline?Copy !req
1131. - Josie?
- Listen, I'm not your husband.Copy !req
1132. - You're not my wife. Okay?
- Did you meet at the fertilizer plant?Copy !req
1133. - Stop it.
- Does she hand out shovels?Copy !req
1134. These aren't your kids.
You didn't bear anything.Copy !req
1135. - Don't change the subject. Who is she?
- Forget it! Come here!Copy !req
1136. Guys, we gotta talk.
This is serious.Copy !req
1137. - Mom, we're still all clean.
- I told her she's not your mother.Copy !req
1138. I want you to tell her too.Copy !req
1139. - Go ahead. Tell her.
- Dad, tell her what?Copy !req
1140. - Tell her she's not your mother.
- But she is our mother.Copy !req
1141. Don't tell her what I told you
to tell her. Just tell her the truth.Copy !req
1142. Tell her about the day
I brought her home.Copy !req
1143. She went for a swim. We were really
worried. I was up all night pacing.Copy !req
1144. Goddamn it! You'd never
seen her before in your lives!Copy !req
1145. Don't speak to my children that way!
I've had it.Copy !req
1146. - What do you guys think you're doin'?
- We won't let you ruin everything.Copy !req
1147. - We're keepin' her.
- You can't! She doesn't belong to you.Copy !req
1148. She didn't belong to you, either,
but that didn't stop you.Copy !req
1149. - I had my reasons!
- So do we.Copy !req
1150. - We like her, Dad!
- Oh, you like her, do you?Copy !req
1151. You like her so much, you'd rather
live with her than your own father?Copy !req
1152. - Found 'em in the glove compartment?
- Yeah. Now tell me every sordid detail.Copy !req
1153. Who is J. S
and what does she do to Dean?Copy !req
1154. Please, tell me everything.
Be honest with me.Copy !req
1155. - That's my underwear.
- What?Copy !req
1156. I don't mean I wear it or anything.
It belongs to a girlfriend of mine.Copy !req
1157. - What about Gertie?
- I strayed.Copy !req
1158. I got lucky
with this phone-sex girl.Copy !req
1159. I found one that accepted
personal checks.Copy !req
1160. I don't have a backseat
in my truck so I used yours.Copy !req
1161. Dean doesn't want you to tell Gert
so he's coverin' for me.Copy !req
1162. - What the hell are you talkin' about?
- I confessed. The jig is up.Copy !req
1163. The jig is up. I'm finally trying
to tell her the truth here.Copy !req
1164. I just did.
I didn't get the reputation...Copy !req
1165. for being Bad Billy Pratt
by accident.Copy !req
1166. Annie, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1167. - I got horny. Do you hate me?
- Oh, no, I don't hate you.Copy !req
1168. - I'm glad you're Bad Billy Pratt.
- What a pile of shit.Copy !req
1169. - Honey, phone-sex girls...
- I've been so silly.Copy !req
1170. Don't come to your truck.Copy !req
1171. Stop trying to cover for him.
Let's just forget it.Copy !req
1172. Pretty expensive panties.Copy !req
1173. - Well...
- You can have these back.Copy !req
1174. That girl must have
more than one phone.Copy !req
1175. - Pretty good, huh?
- You did all this...Copy !req
1176. just to protect your own ass
'cause you faked a few pictures for me?Copy !req
1177. No, I did it to protect your ass.
You belong with her.Copy !req
1178. - Cute.
- Mom, help!Copy !req
1179. Help! He has my hand!Copy !req
1180. Why do you stick your hands
in people's mouths anyway?Copy !req
1181. Let's go to another one.Copy !req
1182. I have been calling
all over Elk Cove.Copy !req
1183. No, don't worry.Copy !req
1184. No, I will try Portland
for a limousine.Copy !req
1185. I really don't have anything
to say, except that...Copy !req
1186. there wouldn't be a Wonders of the World
miniature golf course if not for...Copy !req
1187. the imagination
and creativity of one woman.Copy !req
1188. That's my Annie.
Annie, you want to come up here?Copy !req
1189. I love you, Annie.
I want you to be with me always.Copy !req
1190. Everybody, play ball!Copy !req
1191. Let's go clean up.Copy !req
1192. - Hey, Dad, whose car is that?
- A rich relative we don't know about?Copy !req
1193. - Sure. It's Daddy Warbucks.
- Maybe we won the lottery.Copy !req
1194. Hi, Grant. I just have
to put these in some water.Copy !req
1195. Is that you?Copy !req
1196. You're Grant Stayton III.Copy !req
1197. I remember.Copy !req
1198. I'm Joanna Stayton.Copy !req
1199. I'm cured.Copy !req
1200. I can remember again.Copy !req
1201. Oh, God.Copy !req
1202. You can't imagine how terrible
it is not to know who you are.Copy !req
1203. The doctor said my mind would
come back suddenly and he was right.Copy !req
1204. I didn't believe him, but I saw you,
I walked into the house...Copy !req
1205. and poof, my memory came back.Copy !req
1206. Ask me anything. Ask me about
my childhood in New York.Copy !req
1207. About my mom.
Her name is Edith.Copy !req
1208. About my money. Money!
I have lots of money!Copy !req
1209. - I even have some in Switzerland.
- Switzerland?Copy !req
1210. See how I know me? Oh, God,
this is the happiest day of my life.Copy !req
1211. Oh, thank you for bringing me here
and making me a wife and a mother.Copy !req
1212. Why did you do that?Copy !req
1213. Why... I know why.Copy !req
1214. You're that sweaty carpenter
who hates me.Copy !req
1215. And these are your children,
and you made me...Copy !req
1216. believe that...Copy !req
1217. Oh, God.Copy !req
1218. You tricked me.Copy !req
1219. You used me.Copy !req
1220. Say something.Copy !req
1221. Annie, it just started out...Copy !req
1222. My name is not Annie.Copy !req
1223. And I don't belong with you.Copy !req
1224. And I don't belong with them.Copy !req
1225. I have to get my things.Copy !req
1226. Don't get any ideas.
I brought Olaf.Copy !req
1227. I think we can take Olaf.Copy !req
1228. I won't have...Copy !req
1229. There's nothing inside
that's mine.Copy !req
1230. Joanna...Copy !req
1231. for whatever it's worth...Copy !req
1232. thank you.Copy !req
1233. Come on, dear.Copy !req
1234. We'll get you
out of these clothes.Copy !req
1235. - Mom, wait!
- Mom!Copy !req
1236. Get away from this car!Copy !req
1237. - You said moms don't leave!
- Get!Copy !req
1238. You should have told her, Dad.Copy !req
1239. She just would have
left sooner.Copy !req
1240. Come on.Copy !req
1241. Welcome back, Mrs. Stayton.Copy !req
1242. Dr. Korman, will she ever again
be the debutante I raised?Copy !req
1243. - Will she be one of us?
- She wants to rediscover her old self.Copy !req
1244. Her memory is almost
completely restored.Copy !req
1245. She even recalled the session
where I wrote this.Copy !req
1246. I love you madly
though you treat me badlyCopy !req
1247. Dr. Korman, please.Copy !req
1248. We need analysis,
not "Moon River."Copy !req
1249. I want my wife back.Copy !req
1250. Joanna knows who she is.Copy !req
1251. And she's trying to behave
that way. Happy?Copy !req
1252. Good evening, madam.Copy !req
1253. My darling Joanna.Copy !req
1254. You look radiant, Jo-Jo.Copy !req
1255. Please don't call me that.
I feel like a Pomeranian.Copy !req
1256. You always like being called Jo-Jo.
It was dittums you hated.Copy !req
1257. Mother, why does Dr. Korman
have to be here?Copy !req
1258. - I feel self-conscious enough as it is.
- Oh, sweetie.Copy !req
1259. Just indulge Mommy, hmm?Copy !req
1260. Come along now.
Sit, sit, sit.Copy !req
1261. Andrew, I'm sitting.Copy !req
1262. Now, Mrs. Mintz.Copy !req
1263. Dr. Korman knows you so well, dear,
and he only wants to help.Copy !req
1264. Champagne, madam.Copy !req
1265. Thank you, Andrew.Copy !req
1266. - Andrew, I'd love a beer.
- A beer?Copy !req
1267. - That's wrong, isn't it?
- Nothing is ever wrong.Copy !req
1268. Actually, I really don't see the harm
in accommodating her wishes, Andrew.Copy !req
1269. Cigarette, darling?Copy !req
1270. I don't smoke, Mother.
Do I?Copy !req
1271. Of course you smoke.
You've always smoked.Copy !req
1272. - I smoke.
- Why don't we all smoke?Copy !req
1273. Why do I have to smoke?Copy !req
1274. I've never smoked.
I get sick when I smoke.Copy !req
1275. Why is everyone always trying to
make me do what I don't want to do?Copy !req
1276. Grant, we are not interested
in your therapy.Copy !req
1277. I had my nervous breakdown,
and I didn't have therapy.Copy !req
1278. I never had therapy!Copy !req
1279. - Mother, would you like some?
- I'd love some.Copy !req
1280. Put that down! Good God, Joanna.
We have servants for that.Copy !req
1281. Now, really, this is
going too far.Copy !req
1282. Joanna, what motivated you
to rise and get the serving tray?Copy !req
1283. I thought you might be hungry.Copy !req
1284. - That's excellent.
- What's excellent about it?Copy !req
1285. I was hungry.Copy !req
1286. Your beer, madam.Copy !req
1287. Who cares whether you were hungry?
She turned herself into a waitress.Copy !req
1288. - My daughter is a waitress?
- Hold it.Copy !req
1289. Good stuff.Copy !req
1290. I'll stay an extra few days, yes.Copy !req
1291. - They won't come in.
- Shit.Copy !req
1292. Spaghetti-O Surprise.Copy !req
1293. What's going on?Copy !req
1294. - We're gettin' Mom back.
- We miss her.Copy !req
1295. She cuts the crusts
off the bread.Copy !req
1296. She doesn't take any of my shit, either.
I need discipline.Copy !req
1297. We got three dollars
and four cents.Copy !req
1298. We're gonna go rent a fishing boat,
then we're gonna go get her back.Copy !req
1299. No fishin' boat's gonna catch
a yacht, especially at that price.Copy !req
1300. Maybe she'll change her mind
and come back.Copy !req
1301. Yeah, right, Dumbo.
She's on her way to New York.Copy !req
1302. - This is a job for Dr. Death!
- Yeah! Dr. Death could do it!Copy !req
1303. We gotta do somethin',
right, Dad?Copy !req
1304. Wrong.Copy !req
1305. Now, she's gone, guys.
She hates me.Copy !req
1306. She's got her rich husband back...Copy !req
1307. and her rich life,
and that's the end of it.Copy !req
1308. I love the sound of the ocean.Copy !req
1309. Hello.Copy !req
1310. Tofutti, where are you
when I need you?Copy !req
1311. All together, and lick.Copy !req
1312. Shake, lick, drink.Copy !req
1313. Suck.Copy !req
1314. - You sucked first.
- No, I didn't.Copy !req
1315. Change of watch.
Gotta go. Let's go.Copy !req
1316. You, croissants in the morning.Copy !req
1317. Paul, dinner was wonderful.Copy !req
1318. - You best not lose these again, madam.
- Again?Copy !req
1319. With my apologies, madam. "Andrew,
I seem to have lost my ruby earrings...Copy !req
1320. somewhere between 64th...Copy !req
1321. and 68th streets.Copy !req
1322. Find them."Copy !req
1323. I've behaved so badly.Copy !req
1324. I don't know how you
put up with me for so long.Copy !req
1325. You've done so many
wonderful things for me...Copy !req
1326. and I've never even once
said thank you.Copy !req
1327. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1328. Apology accepted, ma'am.Copy !req
1329. Everyone thinks I'm crazy around here.
Do you think they're right?Copy !req
1330. No, madam.Copy !req
1331. Most of us go through life
with blinders on, madam...Copy !req
1332. knowing only that one little station
to which we were born.Copy !req
1333. But now you, madam,
on the other hand have had...Copy !req
1334. the rare privilege of escaping
your bonds for just a spell...Copy !req
1335. to see life from
an entirely new perspective.Copy !req
1336. How you choose to use
that information, madam...Copy !req
1337. is entirely up to you.Copy !req
1338. - Captain Karl.
- Yes, ma'am?Copy !req
1339. - We've never really had time to talk.
- No, we haven't.Copy !req
1340. Well, there's no time now.Copy !req
1341. - What are you doing?
- I'm turning the boat around.Copy !req
1342. - Why?
- I'm going home.Copy !req
1343. You're turning that wheel too fast.Copy !req
1344. Captain Karl, why is the land
on the wrong side of the yacht?Copy !req
1345. Oh, she did?
Well, she's gone too far this time.Copy !req
1346. She thinks she's dealing
with an idiot.Copy !req
1347. I suppose we're heading back
to the jungles of Oregon.Copy !req
1348. - I want to go back, Grant.
- To him.Copy !req
1349. Yes, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1350. You haven't begun to be sorry,
you hillbilly harlot.Copy !req
1351. Captain Karl, go below. I'm taking over
and bringing this ship about.Copy !req
1352. Andrew, go get Dr. Korman.
Go! Get out of my way, Karl.Copy !req
1353. - But, sir.
- Now I'm in charge.Copy !req
1354. We're coming about
at full speed ahead!Copy !req
1355. - Who is it?
- Dr. Death! Let's go.Copy !req
1356. - We're gonna go get her.
- Come on, guys.Copy !req
1357. Billy's friends are
gonna help us.Copy !req
1358. I hope I don't get
court-martialed for this, Pratt.Copy !req
1359. - I owe you.
- Anything in the manual?Copy !req
1360. There's no procedures for pulling
alongside another ship...Copy !req
1361. and telling a passenger
you love them, sir.Copy !req
1362. Well, put your nose in the manual
and find something, Lucas.Copy !req
1363. Doesn't matter what you do.
I'm getting off at the next port.Copy !req
1364. Don't be ridiculous.
Nobody leaves a Stayton.Copy !req
1365. I don't love you anymore, Grant.
Please try and understand that.Copy !req
1366. What does love
got to do with marriage?Copy !req
1367. You'd actually prefer living
in squalor with that cave dweller?Copy !req
1368. They should have kept you
in the psycho ward of that hospital.Copy !req
1369. What did you say?Copy !req
1370. How did you know that?Copy !req
1371. You left me there, didn't you?Copy !req
1372. You snake.Copy !req
1373. How could you do that?Copy !req
1374. How could you be such a slime?Copy !req
1375. Call me all the names you want,
but many women adore me.Copy !req
1376. Do you want to know what I was doing?
I'll tell you, dittums.Copy !req
1377. I was whacking the donkey
with painted ladies. They love me.Copy !req
1378. Yes, I did leave you.Copy !req
1379. There. Now I've confessed.
So what?Copy !req
1380. We're at sea.
And I'm a god at sea.Copy !req
1381. 9:00 in the morning...
This better be good.Copy !req
1382. Dr. Korman, Grant's having
another nervous breakdown.Copy !req
1383. He thinks he's God.
Keep him busy.Copy !req
1384. All right. Good morning, Grant.Copy !req
1385. Korman, my wife is insane.
Do we have a straitjacket on board?Copy !req
1386. - I always carry one, yeah.
- Good. Put her in it.Copy !req
1387. You're overwrought, Grant.
I want you to take a Valium.Copy !req
1388. I don't have my prescription.
Oh, here, take one of mine.Copy !req
1389. - Is Nino here?
- Nino on break.Copy !req
1390. I have to stop the boat.
My husband's a little crazy.Copy !req
1391. - The captain stop the boat.
- I'm the captain, okay?Copy !req
1392. Please don't salute.
I have to find a red button.Copy !req
1393. Don't touch that!Copy !req
1394. - Vessel sighted straight ahead, sir.
- Identify.Copy !req
1395. There's a fat guy
in my way, sir.Copy !req
1396. Who are you calling fat,
you little weasel? Come here!Copy !req
1397. Where's the thing?
I need the red...Copy !req
1398. - Here! Here it is.
- No, please!Copy !req
1399. - The boat stopped.
- Yes, the boat stopped.Copy !req
1400. - I need to turn it around. Can we?
- Nino on break.Copy !req
1401. He's here!Copy !req
1402. That's him!Copy !req
1403. Stop that boat immediately
and let me get my mom!Copy !req
1404. - What is...
- Pee-wee Herman.Copy !req
1405. Come in, Immaculata.Copy !req
1406. - He's here!
- I don't wanna come in!Copy !req
1407. There's mutiny afoot.Copy !req
1408. She's at the bottom
of this mutiny.Copy !req
1409. I'm gonna rid myself of this albatross
once and for all.Copy !req
1410. Hey, Annie!Copy !req
1411. He's here.Copy !req
1412. - Go back to New York, Dr. Korman.
- Really? Thank you.Copy !req
1413. - Dean!
- Madam! The ship has stopped.Copy !req
1414. Did he strike you? Did he make you
do something you didn't want to?Copy !req
1415. No! Everything's wonderful!Copy !req
1416. Message over the radio, sir.Copy !req
1417. Looks like the fun's over. Salmon
poachers fishing in illegal waters.Copy !req
1418. That takes precedence
over your friend's love life.Copy !req
1419. - Come about!
- Son, no more radio.Copy !req
1420. Wait!Copy !req
1421. - Billy, what's going on?
- We're turning around.Copy !req
1422. They're going after
salmon poachers.Copy !req
1423. He's leaving!Copy !req
1424. Where's he going?Copy !req
1425. - Katerina!
- Arturo!Copy !req
1426. Oh! I'm coming!Copy !req
1427. Man overboard!Copy !req
1428. Shit! Sound the horn.
Coming about again, Chapowski.Copy !req
1429. - No, madam. I cannot let you do this.
- What?Copy !req
1430. Not without a life jacket.Copy !req
1431. Dean, I'm coming!Copy !req
1432. Madam, you really should play
a little hard to get.Copy !req
1433. Tell my mother I'll call her!Copy !req
1434. Woman overboard!Copy !req
1435. She's wearing
an evening dress, sir.Copy !req
1436. Get those kids out of the rescue boat.
Let's go! Let's go!Copy !req
1437. My mom's out there! Let me...Copy !req
1438. Halt, you treasonous tramp!Copy !req
1439. Conspiring with
the enemy at sea is mutiny!Copy !req
1440. Pull!Copy !req
1441. Another man overboard!Copy !req
1442. I am giving my notice, sir.Copy !req
1443. Dean, I love you!
I'll never leave you again!Copy !req
1444. I'll never let you go.
You're my Annie and you always will be.Copy !req
1445. Man overboard is kissing
woman overboard.Copy !req
1446. Our rescue boat is starboard.Copy !req
1447. The guy with the arrows
is being pulled in at port.Copy !req
1448. It's a hell of a day at sea, sir!Copy !req
1449. I can't believe you did it.Copy !req
1450. - I saw you jumped, so I jumped.
- I don't mean that.Copy !req
1451. I can't believe you gave
all that up just for me.Copy !req
1452. - I didn't.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
1453. Well, the truth
is that it's mine.Copy !req
1454. The boat, the money, everything...
it's all mine.Copy !req
1455. Dean! Dean, it's okay!Copy !req
1456. - Did you tell 'em?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1457. - They're making their Christmas lists.
- Already?Copy !req
1458. How do you spell "Porsche"?Copy !req
1459. They got me to thinking, though.Copy !req
1460. What can I possibly give you ever
that you don't already have?Copy !req
1461. A little girl.Copy !req