1. - Dock five, the immaculata?
- It's over there!Copy !req
2. I cannot, I repeat, cannotCopy !req
3. sit in this cesspool by the sea
with nothing to do.Copy !req
4. So, while you repair your silly boat
engines, I will do some remodeling.Copy !req
5. - I've sent for a carpenter.
- Whatever, diddums. I'm shooting skeet.Copy !req
6. Hello!Copy !req
7. Mr. Stayton? Anybody home?Copy !req
8. - Hello!
- State your purpose!Copy !req
9. - Nice-looking Weatherby you got.
- It's a very expensive gun.Copy !req
10. - I have lots and lots of them.
- Somebody call for a carpenter?Copy !req
11. That's my wife's department.Copy !req
12. Could you tell me
where your wife might... be?Copy !req
13. You're the carpenter?Copy !req
14. Yeah. Dean Proffitt.Copy !req
15. You're late.Copy !req
16. - References?
- Well, no, not really.Copy !req
17. You see, I just moved up to this area...Copy !req
18. Hey, I've been doing this kind
of shit work for years.Copy !req
19. This is... This is just beautiful. Wow!Copy !req
20. - Try not to touch anything.
- Oh, I won't.Copy !req
21. Andrew will keep an eye on you.Copy !req
22. Maybe you'd like to take fingerprints
before I get started.Copy !req
23. I was just... kidding.Copy !req
24. Don't walk so close to me!Copy !req
25. - OK! Where's your problem?
- My closet.Copy !req
26. In here.Copy !req
27. Now, you can see
how inadequate this all is.Copy !req
28. I need new shoe racks for my shoes.Copy !req
29. Excuse me. I was told that
this was some kind of an emergency.Copy !req
30. It is.Copy !req
31. And I need drawers for my lingerie.Copy !req
32. I can't keep entering
these boxes all the time.Copy !req
33. Hello?Copy !req
34. Hey, I'm sorry. I understand now.
You want me to remodel your closet.Copy !req
35. Isn't that what I've been
explaining in some detail?Copy !req
36. Is English your second language?Copy !req
37. What is that odor?Copy !req
38. I don't smell anything.Copy !req
39. Madam.Copy !req
40. Well! I almost had to wait.Copy !req
41. I got an idea for a shoe rack
right in here maybe, huh?Copy !req
42. What is this gelatinous muck?Copy !req
43. Andrew, when I tell you to pack staples,Copy !req
44. must I specify that you are to pack good
caviar and not this $1.99 fish bait!Copy !req
45. - Yes, madam.
- Caviar should be round and hardCopy !req
46. and of adequate size.Copy !req
47. And it should burst in your mouth
at precisely the right moment.Copy !req
48. - Yes, madam.
- Carpenter!Copy !req
49. - Yeah?
- You have exactly 48 hours.Copy !req
50. I suggest you get started.Copy !req
51. - Throw that out.
- Yes, madam.Copy !req
52. Watch him.Copy !req
53. Oh, boy. She is really something!Copy !req
54. I know it will cost me,
but it's the cutest little painting.Copy !req
55. I simply must have it.
You'll do the bidding for me?Copy !req
56. But of course!Copy !req
57. - Bid 1,700,000.
- Shit!Copy !req
58. Grant, I'm on the phone!Copy !req
59. I can't hear you, tea rose!
I'm shooting skeet!Copy !req
60. - Pull!
- Pull!Copy !req
61. Firing!Copy !req
62. Hello.Copy !req
63. Forks were invented
so man could at least make a pretenseCopy !req
64. - of separating himself from the apes.
- So were thumbs.Copy !req
65. - What did you say?
- Nothin'. Just... my stomach.Copy !req
66. Well, try to control your bodily noises
so I can hear myself think!Copy !req
67. And another
Oregon good morning to you.Copy !req
68. Wilbur Budd here with some local items.Copy !req
69. The Fraga Feed and Fertilizer folks
are hiring people to shovel the stuff.Copy !req
70. Oh, women are welcome, too.Copy !req
71. There's no chauvinism
in the manure business.Copy !req
72. These gnats keep landing
on my wet nail polish.Copy !req
73. I guess I'm supposed to walk around with
their corpses stuck to my fingers.Copy !req
74. - Joanna, please!
- It's easy for you to say!Copy !req
75. You don't have to sit here in the brine
with your perm frizzing to oblivion.Copy !req
76. I look like a bushman.Copy !req
77. Why don't you go inside
and get out of the sea air?Copy !req
78. Because that Elk Snout mountain man
is still working on my closet.Copy !req
79. He's sweating all over the place.
I doubt if he's even housebroken.Copy !req
80. I think they housebreak each other...Copy !req
81. - What?
- He's listening.Copy !req
82. - Who?
- That carpenter.Copy !req
83. He's been hanging on our every word
for the last two days.Copy !req
84. It's your project, Joanna.
You deal with it.Copy !req
85. - Come along, men.
- The engines are ready, sir.Copy !req
86. - Well, let's get going.
- I've finished, madam.Copy !req
87. - Shall I put your jewelry back on you?
- No.Copy !req
88. I'm still tacky.Copy !req
89. Keep quiet for ten more minutes, collect
the money and get the hell outta here.Copy !req
90. Well! Are we amusing you?Copy !req
91. - What... is this?
- Well, I'm done. I'm finished.Copy !req
92. - What do you think?
- What is it?Copy !req
93. Well, it's a shoe rack... with a twist.
You ready?Copy !req
94. Just turn the crank here,
those drop back, these split.Copy !req
95. - Gives you twice the space...
- Stop boring me with your absurdities.Copy !req
96. - What's it made of?
- It's called wood. It's oak.Copy !req
97. Oak. An oak closet?Copy !req
98. - Why am I even amazed?
- I don't know. Why are you amazed?Copy !req
99. One would think you would know closets
are made of cedar. If not, we get moths.Copy !req
100. Well, lady, there's not a real big
moth problem off the Pacific coast.Copy !req
101. But if you want one out of cedar,
that's fine. I'll start all over.Copy !req
102. I just have to tell ya that's
gonna more than double my estimate.Copy !req
103. - What do you mean?
- I've already done this out of oak...Copy !req
104. - I'm not paying for your mistake!
- I'm not just gonna eat itCopy !req
105. - on this deal.
- Why not?Copy !req
106. You've eaten everything else here. And
you will eat it because I wanted cedar!Copy !req
107. You may have wanted cedar,
but you didn't ask for it.Copy !req
108. The entire civilized world
knows closets are made of cedar!Copy !req
109. In Elk Snout,
we don't know about them closets!Copy !req
110. Nor bathrooms, neither! Shit, woman!
You're lucky I am housebroke!Copy !req
111. - You were listening.
- Well, it was kinda hard to avoid.Copy !req
112. - You can avoid it now, you're fired!
- You're unbelievable!Copy !req
113. That's fine with me!
Just pay me the money you owe me.Copy !req
114. The job was not
done to my satisfaction!Copy !req
115. I got news for you, lady! No job will
ever be done to your satisfaction!Copy !req
116. - That's quite enough! Just get out!
- No problem!Copy !req
117. Pay me the 600 bucks
you owe me and I'm gone!Copy !req
118. Captain Karl! Start up the engine!Copy !req
119. You know what your problem is?Copy !req
120. You're so goddamn bored, you gotta
invent things to bitch about.Copy !req
121. You haven't got a single thing
to do except for your hair.Copy !req
122. Yeah! The closet was fine!Copy !req
123. You just needed somethin'
to take up your useless, empty,Copy !req
124. nail-polishing, toe-polishing,Copy !req
125. rich-bitch, sun-tanning days!Copy !req
126. - Don't touch me!
- What?Copy !req
127. Hey, lady. I may be hard up,Copy !req
128. but I am not that hard up.
And I'm not goin' anywhere...Copy !req
129. Hey!Copy !req
130. - Damn you!
- Man overboard!Copy !req
131. I'll get you for this, you...Copy !req
132. Not my tool belt!
You owe me 600 bucks!Copy !req
133. - Keep going!
- As you wish.Copy !req
134. If I ever get you, lady,
you're dead meat! You got that?Copy !req
135. No, don't throw that!Copy !req
136. I'm not bored! I'm quite happy!Copy !req
137. Everyone wants to be me!Copy !req
138. You come back here!Copy !req
139. I lost all my tools.Copy !req
140. I'll loan you some tools.
We'll get you some part-time work.Copy !req
141. I need a steady job.
What about that nighttime thing?Copy !req
142. I'm working on it. Listen, pretty soon,Copy !req
143. we'll get that miniature
golf course deal.Copy !req
144. If I can hang on that long.Copy !req
145. He called you a what?Copy !req
146. Joanna, why are you so upset?Copy !req
147. Why in the world do you care what some
carpenter from Elk Snout thinks of you?Copy !req
148. I'm sure I'm just premenstrual.Copy !req
149. Then you must go right back to bed
for at least two days.Copy !req
150. Inga, you don't shove the food
down Shiitake's throat.Copy !req
151. You place it on her tongue.
Don't they have dogs in Sweden?Copy !req
152. Grant mentioned having a baby again.Copy !req
153. What should I do?Copy !req
154. Darling, if you have a baby,Copy !req
155. you won't be the baby anymore.Copy !req
156. True.Copy !req
157. Well, I must go. Bye-bye, Mommy.Copy !req
158. Bye-bye, sweetie.Copy !req
159. I'm not a bitch.Copy !req
160. Andrew! Are you going
to bring me my lemonCopy !req
161. or do I have to squeeze it from my hat?Copy !req
162. Hey, guys, I'm home!Copy !req
163. Stay away, you wolves! No! Shoo!Copy !req
164. Bad dogs! Go away!Copy !req
165. Buster! Jackson! Get back inside!Copy !req
166. - Are you Mr. Proffitt?
- Yeah!Copy !req
167. You look like
the morning after Halloween.Copy !req
168. Probably had a day like I did.
What happened to you?Copy !req
169. Monday is their first day of schoolCopy !req
170. and I came here to welcome your family.
And what do I get in return?Copy !req
171. - I get toilet-papered by your children!
- They're just playin' around!Copy !req
172. Just playin' around? They were about
to douse the toilet paper with gasolineCopy !req
173. - and strike...
- Wait, wait! Stop.Copy !req
174. - Greg and Charlie. Twins, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
175. They're having this arson period. They
don't know this, but I'm ahead of them.Copy !req
176. I got two fire extinguishers
ready to go.Copy !req
177. - I didn't catch your name.
- Adele Bur bridge.Copy !req
178. - Nice to meet you.
- Principal of the Elk Cove school.Copy !req
179. Your children are monsters!Copy !req
180. You won't think that once you know 'em!Copy !req
181. Where is Mrs. Proffitt
during all of this?Copy !req
182. She died three years ago.Copy !req
183. Mr. Proffitt, your children are totallyCopy !req
184. lacking in parental supervision.Copy !req
185. Hey, you don't have to tell me
these kids are lucky.Copy !req
186. Fine. You can joke all you want,
but I am serious about this.Copy !req
187. If you don't do something, I am going
to notify the proper authorities.Copy !req
188. I have had baby-sitters in here
by the dozen, but...Copy !req
189. I'm... I'm kinda low on cash right now.Copy !req
190. I'm new in town, but if I get a chance,
I'll hire a housekeeper, all right?Copy !req
191. I'll believe it when I see it.
Good day, Mr. Proffitt!Copy !req
192. I'm a good father!Copy !req
193. What do you know?Copy !req
194. Joanna, I want you tonight.Copy !req
195. How can you have your period
every week?Copy !req
196. You can stow away with the rich
and famous to exotic ports of call...Copy !req
197. Must you watch that thing incessantly?Copy !req
198. Yes, I must. It has a tawdry escapist
quality that soothes my nerves.Copy !req
199. What you have to escape from,
I can't possibly imagine.Copy !req
200. Grant! I left my
wedding ring on the deck.Copy !req
201. - Well, what can I do?
- Go and get it.Copy !req
202. - It's after midnight!
- I don't care what time it is.Copy !req
203. - I want it now!
- I want to seeCopy !req
204. who's in the top ten yachts.Copy !req
205. - I'll get it!
- OK.Copy !req
206. A countdown to the world's
ten best luxury yachts.Copy !req
207. This is the big league
of the seven seas.Copy !req
208. The one purchase that separates
mere millionairesCopy !req
209. from multimillionaires.
Our number ten pick is the Loca Rohan,Copy !req
210. a 167-foot Saudi-owned dreamboat,Copy !req
211. docked in Tahiti.Copy !req
212. Number nine, the 230...Copy !req
213. Andrew!Copy !req
214. Grant!Copy !req
215. Oh, my hair! Help!Copy !req
216. Grant! Help!Copy !req
217. Stop! You idiots!Copy !req
218. Another Oregon good morning to you!
This is Wilbur Budd here at CRAB,Copy !req
219. the family station,
run by me and my family.Copy !req
220. Sorry to interrupt the movie, but we got
some excitement in Amontillado County.Copy !req
221. I've got a bulletin for the eyewitness,
on-the-spot CRAB newsroom.Copy !req
222. It seems a mystery woman
was picked upCopy !req
223. by the Elk Cove garbage scow
shortly after midnight.Copy !req
224. They fished her out of the water
and she's conscious,Copy !req
225. but the problem is she seems
to be suffering from amnesia.Copy !req
226. She has no recollection of who she is.Copy !req
227. My wife Rose is with
the captain of the garbage scowCopy !req
228. - that picked up the mystery lady. Rose?
- Mr. Tunatti.Copy !req
229. Can you tell us what the woman was like
when you brought her aboard?Copy !req
230. Yes. We saw something
float in water like this.Copy !req
231. Just like that, just like that.
We didn't know it...Copy !req
232. We bring... on board.Copy !req
233. - On board.
- Yes. We say... foca!Copy !req
234. Excuse me,
you can't say that on television!Copy !req
235. No, no, no, no!Copy !req
236. Foca! Foca!
Foca means seal in portugues!Copy !req
237. - Oh, I see!
- Seal, seal! So we bring...Copy !req
238. - You learn something every day!
- No clothes. Just a little thing.Copy !req
239. - There you have it. Thank you, Tunatti.
- Thank you.Copy !req
240. Garbage I do for money.
For love, I sing.Copy !req
241. - In my country, I sing.
- Isn't that interesting?Copy !req
242. - We have a Renaissance garbageman.
- We tell stories with our songs.Copy !req
243. Thank you, Rose.Copy !req
244. Arnie, can we roll
that tape now, please?Copy !req
245. Now, folks. Here's an interview
we taped earlier at the hospital.Copy !req
246. Miss, miss... do you know your name?Copy !req
247. Of course I know my name!Copy !req
248. It's...Copy !req
249. This is absurd!Copy !req
250. I know it! It...Copy !req
251. Get that thing out of my face!Copy !req
252. What a horrible wig!Copy !req
253. You mean to tell me
that I have no medical recourse?Copy !req
254. - Can she see us?
- Not unless she's Superwoman.Copy !req
255. Well, what do you know?Copy !req
256. Extend your brain
a teensy little bit, if possible!Copy !req
257. You seem to be suffering
from a temporary amnesia,Copy !req
258. either from the bump into the garbage
scow or the shock of the cold water.Copy !req
259. - How temporary is it?
- Well, we don't know.Copy !req
260. Otherwise, you seem to be
in excellent physical shape.Copy !req
261. Listen to me, medical people.Copy !req
262. As of now, I have a life history
of a dirty garbage scowCopy !req
263. and a breakfast of
extremely runny eggs over easy!Copy !req
264. Now, I refuse... refuse...Copy !req
265. to be incarcerated
in this semi-private room!Copy !req
266. You snore!Copy !req
267. No efforts are being made
for anyone to locate...Copy !req
268. - Is that her?
- I demand you do something!Copy !req
269. Do you hear me?Copy !req
270. No! I never saw her before in my life.Copy !req
271. Mrs. Stayton has decided to leave me.
Let's celebrate!Copy !req
272. Now, Miss... X, we have
a comfortable private room for youCopy !req
273. where you'll be safer,
we'll all be safer,Copy !req
274. and you'll be a lot more comfortable.Copy !req
275. Well, I'm glad you've
finally come to your senses!Copy !req
276. I was prepared to sue you.Copy !req
277. I don't know who I am,
but I'm sure I have a lawyer.Copy !req
278. - Hey, you about done?
- Yeah! I think I got it fixed.Copy !req
279. - Your lunch is on the counter.
- Thanks.Copy !req
280. Hi, this is Wilbur Budd.
We got some moreCopy !req
281. on that amnesia lady story
down there in Elk Grove.Copy !req
282. Wanna push in on these, Barry, please?Copy !req
283. I saw some potato chips
around the corner. Could I just...?Copy !req
284. OK, one bag!Copy !req
285. I said Elk Grove before. You know
I meant Elk Cove. Anything new, honey?Copy !req
286. The mystery woman is still suffering
from complete but temporary amnesia.Copy !req
287. If you know the identity of this
woman, please contact Elk Cove Hospital.Copy !req
288. I'll put up the reward myself.
She's drivin' us crazy.Copy !req
289. - Thank you. Back to Wilbur...
- Yo, Dean!Copy !req
290. - She's not the nicest person around...
- Look at this!Copy !req
291. She made some remarks about
my wife's hair, which I didn't care for.Copy !req
292. But, in any event, there she is
and this is what she looks like.Copy !req
293. - That's her.
- Who?Copy !req
294. The bitch!Copy !req
295. Earlier today, one man arrived on the
scene to make an identification, but...Copy !req
296. I can't believe it.
He's skippin' out on her.Copy !req
297. 'Course he is! It's his shot at freedom.Copy !req
298. We should go and see
if we can get your money back.Copy !req
299. - Look, he's gone!
- Not him, her!Copy !req
300. She doesn't know who she is. Do you
think she's gonna know who I am?Copy !req
301. - Billy, there is a God and he loves me.
- You're not gonna shave your head?Copy !req
302. No.Copy !req
303. - Dean...
- I gotta go talk to my kids.Copy !req
304. I want you to take 'em shopping
at the Salvation Army.Copy !req
305. This is illegal! Dean, you're crazy!Copy !req
306. I wondered if a woman
like that had a husband.Copy !req
307. - Oh, yeah! She does!
- Here's some effects you may recognize.Copy !req
308. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
309. Nice panties. Some initials here,
she didn't know what they meant. "JS."Copy !req
310. She wouldn't 'cause, see,
I bought these for her at a garage sale.Copy !req
311. I bought my wife a garter
at a yard sale.Copy !req
312. I bet you did.
Hey, what else you got in here?Copy !req
313. I got some pictures.Copy !req
314. We were gonna wire them,
but now you're here...Copy !req
315. Yeah! That's her.Copy !req
316. Oh, yeah.
That's my little cookie cutter.Copy !req
317. - Quite a beauty!
- She's somethin', isn't she?Copy !req
318. You got that right!Copy !req
319. Doc. We got a winner.Copy !req
320. Annie!Copy !req
321. Stop!Copy !req
322. I don't recognize this man.Copy !req
323. Your wife's had an almost
total loss of memory.Copy !req
324. I can't believe
she doesn't know her own husband!Copy !req
325. This missing-link person
is not my husband!Copy !req
326. Oh, Annie, please!Copy !req
327. - Annie. Annie.
- Right.Copy !req
328. That's not right. That's not my name!Copy !req
329. This is completely crazy!
Honey, sit down.Copy !req
330. Everything's gonna be OK.
Now... I am your husband.Copy !req
331. My name is Dean Proffitt.Copy !req
332. - We've been married for 13 years.
- Wait!Copy !req
333. I admit I have
forgotten numerous things.Copy !req
334. But I truly, from the depths of my soul,
do not remember you!Copy !req
335. Don't you think there'd
be some spark of recognition?Copy !req
336. - We don't know.
- Maybe you'll spark to this!Copy !req
337. I don't believe this! He could
be some stranger off the street!Copy !req
338. Well, he seems to like you
and he's a nice guy.Copy !req
339. - He's good-lookin'.
- Clean.Copy !req
340. Thank you.Copy !req
341. - What's my full name?
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
342. - What is it?
- Mrs. Annie Proffitt!Copy !req
343. - What's my maiden name?
- Annie... Goolihy.Copy !req
344. Annie Goolihy?Copy !req
345. Where in God's name did I grow up?
Dogpatch?Copy !req
346. No, no, not there!
Over in Goober, Idaho.Copy !req
347. - But it's a nuclear waste dump now...
- Where did I meet you?Copy !req
348. Hank's Donut World.Copy !req
349. Seattle? You hung out there
every night when you were in the Navy!Copy !req
350. - You remember...
- I was in the armed forces?Copy !req
351. I've still got your postcards
from Okinawa...Copy !req
352. Stop. The Navy?Copy !req
353. Oh, come on, honey!Copy !req
354. You gotta know! You were in the Navy!Copy !req
355. No, I don't know! I don't know
any of this and I don't know you!Copy !req
356. I need some proof!Copy !req
357. Stop staring at me!Copy !req
358. Eat your checkers!Copy !req
359. Look, if it were up to us, we'd be glad
to give her to you, but she's right.Copy !req
360. I'm gonna need some verification.Copy !req
361. Oh, listen... I know what you mean.
I understand. Now...Copy !req
362. I don't like to talk about this in
public, and I've never told anybody...Copy !req
363. She does have a smallCopy !req
364. strawberry-like birthmark...Copy !req
365. It's kinda high up on her... left cheek
and it's unique.Copy !req
366. Come to Daddy!Copy !req
367. Mister!
What was I doing out in the ocean?Copy !req
368. That's something you like to do.Copy !req
369. You know, divin' for oysters at night.Copy !req
370. Sometimes you get pretty far
from the shore and that undertow...Copy !req
371. Oysters? In a cold ocean at night?
That doesn't sound like me.Copy !req
372. I just... ate a bug!Copy !req
373. Keep your mouth closed!
A lot of things flying around out here.Copy !req
374. Welcome home, baby!Copy !req
375. I feel faint.Copy !req
376. Come on, Buster! Come on, Jackson!Copy !req
377. No. This is wrong.Copy !req
378. Come along, now.
We've only been here a couple of weeks.Copy !req
379. A lot of stuff's in boxes from the move,
so I hardly recognize the place myself.Copy !req
380. We moved here... deliberately?Copy !req
381. Our last place was a real dump.Copy !req
382. Come on.Copy !req
383. Our new palace!Copy !req
384. Well! Let me...Copy !req
385. Let me show you around.
Maybe something'll come back to you.Copy !req
386. - Did I just go downhill?
- Look at that.Copy !req
387. It's comin' back already. Everything
slants down here toward the bedroom.Copy !req
388. Dining room and toilet... Only one.Copy !req
389. And here we are at the old...
magic room.Copy !req
390. Put a lot of miles on that mattress.Copy !req
391. Later. All right!Copy !req
392. Here's where we have
breakfast every morning. Let's go up...Copy !req
393. Here they come!Copy !req
394. - Charlie tried to kill my turtle!
- He didn't.Copy !req
395. - It slipped out of his hands!
- He did!Copy !req
396. Hey, hey, guys! Hey, look who's home!Copy !req
397. - Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Mom.Copy !req
398. Gee, Mom! We really missed you.Copy !req
399. We're so glad you're back.Copy !req
400. They're... They're not mine.Copy !req
401. Oh, honey!
I was sure you'd remember them!Copy !req
402. Well, I think I'd remember
if I had three...Copy !req
403. Four, honey! Don't forget little Joe.Copy !req
404. Well, that's about it, except for...Copy !req
405. Hey, she's been in there an hour.
What did you guys get her?Copy !req
406. - Dresses.
- The right sizes?Copy !req
407. You didn't tell us.
You just said get some dresses.Copy !req
408. OK, on the couch.
Come on, guys, don't blow it.Copy !req
409. Hey, a dirty magazine!Copy !req
410. Baby doll!Copy !req
411. This garment cannot possibly
be a part of my wardrobe.Copy !req
412. Let's forget for a moment
that it's a rag,Copy !req
413. but it happens to be 12 sizes too large.Copy !req
414. - It's... It's not that bad.
- Not that bad?Copy !req
415. Well, come on, honey. You gotta
admit, you've lost a lot of weight.Copy !req
416. You used to be like a balloon!Copy !req
417. - Was I also shorter?
- Yes! Yes, you had a bad back.Copy !req
418. You walked kinda hunched over,
you know?Copy !req
419. I was short and fat?Copy !req
420. Look, I'm sure you've
got a million questions.Copy !req
421. You've been through hell. So, let's
just take this thing one step at a time.Copy !req
422. First, let's meet the boys.
In the middle we've got the twins:Copy !req
423. Greg and Charlie.
He likes to invent things.Copy !req
424. - Twins?
- Yeah.Copy !req
425. - Obviously, they're not identical.
- Or I'd look like a shithead!Copy !req
426. Who asked you, butthole?Copy !req
427. They came out fighting
and they're still at it! Guys, guys!Copy !req
428. Charlie and I get along very well, Mom.
My twin brother and I are best friends.Copy !req
429. He's the actor in the family.
Then we got the big guy!Copy !req
430. Eleven pounds, five ounces.Copy !req
431. Come on, honey, give it a try.
What's his name?Copy !req
432. Roy?Copy !req
433. No. Travis. Sweet Trav?Copy !req
434. - Now, those are tits!
- My turn!Copy !req
435. - Hey, what are you...?
- Wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
436. I was hopin' you'd recall this guy.
He's your newest, honey.Copy !req
437. Hi, Mom! My name's Joe.Copy !req
438. - A falsetto child?
- He thinks he's Pee-Wee Herman.Copy !req
439. I love Pee-Wee Herman.Copy !req
440. - Give your ma a kiss.
- No! No! No!Copy !req
441. Do they have a problem
with their glands?Copy !req
442. Hey, hey, guys, easy! Come on!Copy !req
443. It's not us, Dad, it's Roy!Copy !req
444. - They're great boys, aren't they?
- There's so many of them.Copy !req
445. You've always had
your heart set on six, so...Copy !req
446. we'll just keep on tryin'.Copy !req
447. Dad! They're making me drink blood!Copy !req
448. - Come back here!
- No, no, no!Copy !req
449. They don't look anything like me!Copy !req
450. They do take after your mother.Copy !req
451. Let's hope they don't grow up
to be lushes, too.Copy !req
452. - My mother's a lush?
- Was, honey.Copy !req
453. - Cirrhosis.
- She's...?Copy !req
454. - What about my father?
- Oh, he's alive and well.Copy !req
455. - Due for parole in, what, two years?
- Oh, God! I don't wanna hear anymore!Copy !req
456. - Look...
- I just wanna remember for myself.Copy !req
457. The doctor says the best thing for you
is to get back to your normal routine.Copy !req
458. You gotta get your memory back that
way. You gotta do what you normally do.Copy !req
459. What is it I normally do?Copy !req
460. I prepared and handled raw food?Copy !req
461. I hunt it. You cook it.Copy !req
462. - You shot a chicken?
- Come on, honey!Copy !req
463. - Save the jokes! We're starvin' here.
- Yeah!Copy !req
464. It's strange, but...Copy !req
465. I feel as if I've never done this
before in my life.Copy !req
466. Dad, are you and Uncle Billy really
gonna open a miniature golf course?Copy !req
467. Nah. We'll just build it
when someone pays for it.Copy !req
468. - What's miniature golf?
- For midget brains, like you.Copy !req
469. - I was only asking.
- You shut up!Copy !req
470. You're gonna make
that turtle sick again.Copy !req
471. You gotta breathe on it.Copy !req
472. Look at me, Dad!Copy !req
473. Nothing's happening.Copy !req
474. Well, pumpkin,
you gotta light the burner.Copy !req
475. Thirty seconds.Copy !req
476. Twenty-nine, 28, 27...Copy !req
477. Fire, fire!Copy !req
478. Hey, come here. Sit down.Copy !req
479. - Let me see your hand.
- I smell hair!Copy !req
480. I'll get the burn ointment.
You'll be all right.Copy !req
481. Ouch!Copy !req
482. OK, let's see, we...Copy !req
483. Way to hustle, guys!Copy !req
484. You all right?Copy !req
485. Well, now we know they work.Copy !req
486. - Pretty good eats!
- Should mashed potatoes be crunchy?Copy !req
487. Where are you going?Copy !req
488. Out! I go out every night after dinner.Copy !req
489. Meet the boys at the bowling alley
for a couple of beers.Copy !req
490. - Don't leave me alone with them!
- Come on, honey. That's not fair.Copy !req
491. You know we live like this.
Never bothered you before.Copy !req
492. It's just the way it is.
You'd better get used to it.Copy !req
493. - When are you coming home?
- When I feel like it.Copy !req
494. It just depends on how drunk I get.Copy !req
495. How's it goin' with your debutante?Copy !req
496. She's one lousy cook!
But as long as I don't have to do it.Copy !req
497. - How long are you gonna keep her?
- Let's see. 25 bucks a day?Copy !req
498. Figure little wifey-poo can
work off what she owes me in...Copy !req
499. a little over a month.Copy !req
500. Your first night with her?Copy !req
501. Come on!Copy !req
502. I'm not gonna tell you
she doesn't have a great body.Copy !req
503. And a pretty decent face...
She's too rich for my blood!Copy !req
504. Chocolate cake's a bit rich, too,
but I'd like to eat one once in a while.Copy !req
505. Not my style. 'Course,
eating a whole cake isn't, either.Copy !req
506. But I'm gonna have some fun
with her tonight!Copy !req
507. - What are you gonna do?
- What are you drinkin'?Copy !req
508. - Some rotgut. Cheapest stuff they got.
- Perfect.Copy !req
509. - Wait! Wait!
- You jumped my bonesCopy !req
510. the first night we met!Copy !req
511. - We did it on the first date?
- I couldn't call it a date, really.Copy !req
512. We just did it right there
in the parking lot of the 7-Eleven.Copy !req
513. I'm a slut.Copy !req
514. Nothing.Copy !req
515. Hey, I'm a little drunk tonight,
baby, so, you know,Copy !req
516. it might take me a while to get there.Copy !req
517. What? No boom-boom?Copy !req
518. Well, hey, I understand.Copy !req
519. You probably just wanna go right
to sleep and skip the fun stuff?Copy !req
520. - Yes.
- OK.Copy !req
521. Thank you. No boom-boom.Copy !req
522. Baby.Copy !req
523. - The couch.
- What?Copy !req
524. You see, honey, you've got a bad back
because the bed's too soft for you.Copy !req
525. That's why you always sleep
on the living room couch.Copy !req
526. I'm a short... fat... slut.Copy !req
527. Get off of my body! Rover!Copy !req
528. - Up, up, up, up, up! Come on!
- Help! Help!Copy !req
529. Time to get up.Copy !req
530. Gotta fix the kids' lunches
or they'll miss the bus for school.Copy !req
531. I don't care
if they don't go to school.Copy !req
532. OK. They'll just be with you all day.Copy !req
533. Bye, Mom!Copy !req
534. Whoa, whoa, the bus is here!
7:15, let's go!Copy !req
535. Hurry up, Mom!Copy !req
536. Roy. Roy!Copy !req
537. My name is Travis.Copy !req
538. Travis.Copy !req
539. Travis!Copy !req
540. - Come on, Joey.
- Stop honking!Copy !req
541. Twin! Oh, twin!Copy !req
542. She means you.
Have a good day at school, honey.Copy !req
543. You ready? You ready?
Come on, come on!Copy !req
544. Bye, Mom. You're doin' a great job.Copy !req
545. I'm off to work.Copy !req
546. Somebody's gotta keep this family
in the lap of luxury.Copy !req
547. I figured you'd forget,
so I made it for you myself.Copy !req
548. - What?
- Your list of daily chores.Copy !req
549. See ya tonight.Copy !req
550. - Dean?
- Zippety doo dahCopy !req
551. Zippety yayCopy !req
552. My, oh my, I got a wonderful slaveCopy !req
553. And you are a genius!Copy !req
554. You're living in a nightmare
that starts at the crack of dawn.Copy !req
555. Down! Down!Copy !req
556. Jim Dandy to the rescueCopy !req
557. Go, Jim Dandy! Go, Jim Dandy!Copy !req
558. Dinner! Dinner!Copy !req
559. She needs food.Copy !req
560. This is fun.Copy !req
561. Hey, guys.Copy !req
562. - What's goin' on here?
- Nothing. We're OK. We're fine.Copy !req
563. - How about you?
- Oh, no. What's wrong with her?Copy !req
564. She's been like that for an hour now.Copy !req
565. - She's getting better, though.
- Better?Copy !req
566. - Yeah, she's not going, "Ba-ba-ba..."
- Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba...Copy !req
567. - Why did she do that?
- She destroyed the scarecrow.Copy !req
568. She ripped the sucker's head off!Copy !req
569. I like when she goes,
"Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba."Copy !req
570. Hey! Baby doll!Copy !req
571. What's for dinner?Copy !req
572. OK! I'll take it from here.
Go on, get upstairs!Copy !req
573. - Will you trade her in for a new one?
- Nah, she'll be all right.Copy !req
574. Come on, guys! Move it!Copy !req
575. Feel better?Copy !req
576. I don't belong here. I feel it.
Don't you think I feel it?Copy !req
577. I can't do any of these vile thingsCopy !req
578. and I wouldn't want to!Copy !req
579. My life is like death!Copy !req
580. My children are the spawn of hell,
and you're the devil.Copy !req
581. Oh, God...Copy !req
582. Baby, we like you.Copy !req
583. She's OK. She's doin' the dishes.Copy !req
584. - No more, "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba."
- Good. All right.Copy !req
585. - Dad?
- Yeah?Copy !req
586. Will she figure out we're tricking her?Copy !req
587. Not if we don't blow it.Copy !req
588. - What are you doin'?
- Looking for memorabilia.Copy !req
589. Memora-what?Copy !req
590. Scrapbooks. Photographs.Copy !req
591. Something that will spark
some wisp of a memory.Copy !req
592. Do we or do we not possess these things?Copy !req
593. Well...Copy !req
594. Do you mean to tell me
there is no photographic evidenceCopy !req
595. of our life together...
anywhere in existence?Copy !req
596. Well, I don't know
where they'd be because...Copy !req
597. you know,
we lost a lot of stuff in the move.Copy !req
598. And it's possible that...Copy !req
599. we lost...Copy !req
600. The closet...Copy !req
601. and you.Copy !req
602. That's right. This is me,Copy !req
603. and I'm standing in front of the closet.Copy !req
604. Something's familiar.Copy !req
605. You got it.
We used to do it in the closet.Copy !req
606. Oh, stop with the sex stories!Copy !req
607. You're grumpy
because you've been busy.Copy !req
608. I want you to stop everything,
go on in here, take a bath...Copy !req
609. Hey, guys!
Get the turtle out of the bathtub!Copy !req
610. I'll look for the pictures
first thing in the morning, OK?Copy !req
611. All right. Good night, honey.Copy !req
612. - Somebody better be dead!
- Billy!Copy !req
613. Billy, I want you to do me a favor.Copy !req
614. - Who you talkin' to?
- Nobody.Copy !req
615. - Who's that?
- No one.Copy !req
616. Hey, is that Dean?Copy !req
617. - Hi, Dean. Come on in.
- Go back to bed, Gertie.Copy !req
618. If you treat me like that,
I'm goin' home.Copy !req
619. Come on, Gertie, don't be like that!Copy !req
620. Remember in high school you faked
our IDs? I need a fake bride.Copy !req
621. - Come on, Dean. I'm busy!
- Not anymore. She's goin' home.Copy !req
622. OK, but if we get caught, it's your ass!Copy !req
623. It's my wedding day.
Why do I look so annoyed?Copy !req
624. Oh, yeah.
Your dad showed up shit-faced.Copy !req
625. He threw potato salad all over my mom.
We had to throw him out!Copy !req
626. Why do I always have
this depressed look on my face?Copy !req
627. You were grumpy a lot. You were losing
the weight, then you gained it back.Copy !req
628. - Thin, fat, thin, fat.
- Was I always this miserable?Copy !req
629. - Wasn't I ever happy?
- Well, sure, honey. Lots.Copy !req
630. You were the happiest
little wife and mother around!Copy !req
631. Look at this. Before you lost
the weight. Can you believe it?Copy !req
632. All right. Now, that's it.
Are you satisfied?Copy !req
633. - Yes.
- Good.Copy !req
634. I suppose I belong here
in this... hovel.Copy !req
635. Come on, Jackson!Copy !req
636. Well, this is my life.Copy !req
637. I didn't marry very well, did I?Copy !req
638. Your bodyCopy !req
639. I love LA. I love all my starlets!Copy !req
640. - What were your names again?
- Tofutti Klein.Copy !req
641. Tofutti! I love it!Copy !req
642. If that's my mother-in-law,
I'm not here.Copy !req
643. You're Kim and Kimberly...Copy !req
644. - The Stayton yacht.
- Hello, Andrew. It's Mrs. Mintz.Copy !req
645. I'm so virile, I'm so rich!Copy !req
646. I'd like to speak to my daughter.Copy !req
647. They're not here, madam.
They've gone shopping.Copy !req
648. A little bit lower.
Yeah. Yeah, lower.Copy !req
649. That's good. That's good.Copy !req
650. - Were you really in the Coast Guard?
- Damn right.Copy !req
651. Why does he keep staring at me?Copy !req
652. - Is he?
- Yes! He was staring at meCopy !req
653. with his mouth open all through dinner.Copy !req
654. Well, honey,
Billy was your high school boyfriend.Copy !req
655. You don't get any of the old feelings
back when you look at him, do you?Copy !req
656. I don't wanna do it!Copy !req
657. You gotta do it
if you wanna be a gruesome ghoul!Copy !req
658. It's part of the initiation!
Think about it.Copy !req
659. That's good. Thanks a lot. Yeah.Copy !req
660. Sugarlips.
I think our guest needs another beer.Copy !req
661. Well, I really shouldn't,
but maybe... just one more...Copy !req
662. six-pack!Copy !req
663. - Attagirl!
- Thank you.Copy !req
664. That's all the beer.Copy !req
665. Whoa, buttercup!
Just about time for dessert!Copy !req
666. - How about some brownies?
- I didn't make any.Copy !req
667. - How about chocolate cream pie?
- I made that.Copy !req
668. - Is this gonna work?
- My ideas always work. I'm gifted.Copy !req
669. I loved it when you glued Joey
to the toilet seat.Copy !req
670. I was thinking about it at work.
We need a theme for the golf course.Copy !req
671. We can use a few contraptions
you can knock some golf balls through.Copy !req
672. What's the score? I had my eyes closed.Copy !req
673. Thirty-two-ten.Copy !req
674. - Who's winning?
- The guys with 32.Copy !req
675. - Great!
- Who did this?Copy !req
676. Travis!Copy !req
677. Hey, honey, what happened?Copy !req
678. This happened.Copy !req
679. - You guys are beggin' for it!
- Stop blustering!Copy !req
680. - You won't punish them!
- Ease up there, love chop!Copy !req
681. - Just ease up.
- Ease up? Ease up?Copy !req
682. Since I walked through that door,
I have cooked, cleaned,Copy !req
683. scrubbed, chopped wood.Copy !req
684. I've waited on you, your dogs,
your kids and your friendsCopy !req
685. in the hopes that I would
remember some shred of my life,Copy !req
686. and now it is entirely clear to me
why I've chosen to block it out!Copy !req
687. - Now, none of this ever...
- Bothered me before.Copy !req
688. Well, it bothers me now.Copy !req
689. - All right, Joe!
- Is that so?Copy !req
690. Hey, hey, Joe! Come on, guys!
No more jokes on Mom today.Copy !req
691. You really got her where you want her.Copy !req
692. I got everything under control,
don't worry.Copy !req
693. - This is flat. Give me another one.
- I only got six.Copy !req
694. We're just gonna have to send out
the old ball and chain to buy some more.Copy !req
695. Good stuff!Copy !req
696. Your chocolate cream pie.Copy !req
697. Thanks, honey.Copy !req
698. I guess it's kinda tough to serve
with your hands stuck to plates.Copy !req
699. Honey, we need forks!Copy !req
700. - Sugarlips!
- Yeah?Copy !req
701. Wait a minute!Copy !req
702. Fire, fire, fire!Copy !req
703. - Yeah!
- OK, guys, go get her!Copy !req
704. - Hey, thanks for a lovely dinner.
- She never did that before.Copy !req
705. She did it now!Copy !req
706. - Look at this! I gotta go to work!
- Wait for me!Copy !req
707. She went this way, guys!Copy !req
708. Gruesome ghouls, attack!Copy !req
709. - What should I do, Travis?
- Go home!Copy !req
710. I got you!Copy !req
711. - Tickle her!
- She's ticklish!Copy !req
712. That hurts!Copy !req
713. Leave me alone!Copy !req
714. All right, time to get up.Copy !req
715. Go to the bathroom
and do what you normally do.Copy !req
716. - You gonna squirt us with a hose again?
- That's up to you.Copy !req
717. - I gotta feed my turtle.
- The damn turtle stole my headband.Copy !req
718. Joey, come on. Time to get up!Copy !req
719. I don't want to!
The teacher's a big fat tub!Copy !req
720. Proffitt boys, come up here!Copy !req
721. Miss Pitcannon tells me
you don't wanna take these tests.Copy !req
722. I'm itchin' and I wanna go home!Copy !req
723. You may go stand in the cornerCopy !req
724. until you can talk like a little boy!Copy !req
725. All of you children
are new in this school.Copy !req
726. These scores will determine
your placement in future classes.Copy !req
727. You must concentrate...Copy !req
728. - Greg! Stop that!
- Make a face.Copy !req
729. - I'm in real bad shape!
- Nonsense!Copy !req
730. Now, if you concentrate, I'm sure
you can control those little bodies.Copy !req
731. I see that, Amanda.Copy !req
732. Joey, sit!Copy !req
733. - Is anyone at your home?
- Yeah. Our mom is.Copy !req
734. You have a mother now?
Your father remarried?Copy !req
735. Yeah. We got a new mother now.Copy !req
736. Well, good.
Then I'm calling both your parents!Copy !req
737. Mrs. Burbridge, I'm Annie Proffitt.
What happened?Copy !req
738. Well, Mrs. Proffitt, apparently
your children consider themselvesCopy !req
739. above taking
the Schwartzman-Heinliken tests.Copy !req
740. I'm sorry. What are
the Schwartzman-Heinliken tests?Copy !req
741. Placement tests. They are very valuable
in measuring intelligence and potential.Copy !req
742. Sit still!
Your children are a discipline problem.Copy !req
743. I know. I have had difficulties myself.Copy !req
744. - What did you do now?
- They decided to play sick!Copy !req
745. And not very convincingly.Copy !req
746. Now, I believe their problems exist
because of deficient parental guidance.Copy !req
747. The children are slovenly, incorrigibleCopy !req
748. and being reared by a fatherCopy !req
749. who clearly isn't concerned
about their welfare,Copy !req
750. but is himself just a large child!Copy !req
751. - Excuse me, Mrs. Burbridge.
- The test results. Thank you.Copy !req
752. I'll look these over as soon
as I'm finished with this... woman.Copy !req
753. Oh, my God.Copy !req
754. I'll see you later in the cafeteria.Copy !req
755. Mrs. Burbridge,
would you come over here for a moment?Copy !req
756. Has it escaped your attention that these
children have head-to-toe poison oak?Copy !req
757. Well, no... Yes, but...Copy !req
758. But what? My children are
in need of medical assistance!Copy !req
759. And you can sit here and smugly
lecture me on the importance of tests?Copy !req
760. Tests which label children's potential,
a thing which cannot be measured!Copy !req
761. Least of all by anal-compulsive Huns!Copy !req
762. And my husband may be a large child,
but that's none of your business.Copy !req
763. And my children may be rotten,
but they're mine!Copy !req
764. And I think that they're
bright and sensitive.Copy !req
765. So I have no doubts whatsoever
about their intelligence!Copy !req
766. I do, however,
have serious doubts about yours!Copy !req
767. Kids, get in the car. Let's go.Copy !req
768. Move!Copy !req
769. - She told her off.
- Dad never did that.Copy !req
770. Discipline problem?Copy !req
771. My regards to Schwartzman and Heinliken.Copy !req
772. I can't stop itching!Copy !req
773. Well, what do you expect
when you roll around in poison oak?Copy !req
774. What I want you to do, what the doctor
said, is put it right on the red parts.Copy !req
775. OK?Copy !req
776. Soon we're going to clean up
this room because it's a disgrace.Copy !req
777. - We like it like a disgrace.
- Dad lets us do whatever we want!Copy !req
778. Yeah, well, it's trickling
down the stairway.Copy !req
779. Joey, don't. Don't get that near your
eyes. Look, I want you to read this.Copy !req
780. See what it says?
"Don't get near your eyes." Read on.Copy !req
781. - What's this all about?
- He's embarrassed 'cause he can't read.Copy !req
782. - Well, he's a small child.
- He can't readCopy !req
783. - for a small child either.
- The teacher makes fun of him!Copy !req
784. OK, we'll talk about this later.
Go to sleep.Copy !req
785. - Dean!
- Where is that?Copy !req
786. - Dean!
- Yeah!Copy !req
787. - What is it?
- Where are you going?Copy !req
788. Out. If I could ever find my...Copy !req
789. Oh, wait. Wait!Copy !req
790. Not tonight! We have to talk.Copy !req
791. - When I get home. I'm in a hurry.
- Now!Copy !req
792. You know, I let the water routine
slide by the other day,Copy !req
793. but let's not push it, OK?Copy !req
794. I got a little carried away with
the hose, but this is important.Copy !req
795. OK, fine. What's on your mind,
sugarlips?Copy !req
796. Stop calling me sugarlips!
I have a name. Call me Annie.Copy !req
797. Get to the point, Annie. I'm busy.
The guys are waitin' for me.Copy !req
798. You can't run out every time things get
complicated here. The kids are sick!Copy !req
799. They got calamine lotion.
What do you want me to do?Copy !req
800. Take on some grown-up responsibility!Copy !req
801. I earn the money.
That's a responsibility.Copy !req
802. Are you aware that Joey can't read?
That Travis only reads smut magazines?Copy !req
803. I can't get him out of the bathroom.Copy !req
804. He's 13!
I'll build you another bathroom!Copy !req
805. They don't need that!
They need guidance from you!Copy !req
806. Now, don't you worry about me
and my boys, OK? We're pals.Copy !req
807. They have enough pals.
They need a father.Copy !req
808. Hey, hey, hey, look. I decided
a long time before you... you and me...Copy !req
809. We decided a long time ago,
before we started this family,Copy !req
810. we'd raise these kids naturally,
not force bullshit rules...Copy !req
811. I'm not talking about discipline.
I'm talking...Copy !req
812. Stuff you shouldn't be talking about!
It's none of your business, anyway.Copy !req
813. - My children are none of my business?
- Look... I have... Now I'm late!Copy !req
814. Thanks a lot! Appreciate it.Copy !req
815. Say, Annie. Are you asleep?Copy !req
816. No. Go away.Copy !req
817. Listen. I'm...Copy !req
818. I'm sorry I came down on you
so hard before.Copy !req
819. - It's OK.
- Just so you won't thinkCopy !req
820. I don't appreciate all the work
you're doin' in the houseCopy !req
821. and how you handle the kids
and all that...Copy !req
822. You know, I think you're doin' great.Copy !req
823. I mean, what you said about me
and the boys tonight...Copy !req
824. I guess you probably...Copy !req
825. You know, maybe you got a small point
there, and I just... I can't...Copy !req
826. I can't talk to you
while you're turned away.Copy !req
827. - Will you please get your head out?
- No.Copy !req
828. - No!
- Why?Copy !req
829. Because I'm so ugly.Copy !req
830. I got poison oak, too!Copy !req
831. Come on, now.
Nobody cares what you look like.Copy !req
832. I mean, we do like the way you look.
Normally you look real pretty.Copy !req
833. You just don't now.Copy !req
834. All right, forget it.Copy !req
835. I don't even have a wedding ring!Copy !req
836. - What?
- I lost my wedding ring in the sea.Copy !req
837. OK, come on. Come on.Copy !req
838. Let's go.Copy !req
839. Oh, no.
I'm not going back in the water barrel!Copy !req
840. I'm puttin' you in the bedroom.
I'll take the couch.Copy !req
841. Oh, hey, listen.
I've had poison oak a million times.Copy !req
842. Come on, guys. Up! Up!Copy !req
843. Yeah. You know,
I once got poison oak on my bu... back.Copy !req
844. And...Copy !req
845. Well, don't you worry. It'll be
gone in no time. Lift your head.Copy !req
846. - That's it. Is that better?
- Yeah.Copy !req
847. - All right?
- Yes.Copy !req
848. Tell me something about my life,
about my past. Please.Copy !req
849. Something not horrible.Copy !req
850. OK.Copy !req
851. Yeah. Well, there was that time...Copy !req
852. when you were...Copy !req
853. You were working at...Copy !req
854. yeah, Burger Boy over in Lewisville.Copy !req
855. And this kid started
choking on a French fry.Copy !req
856. Everybody there panicked,
including me, except for you.Copy !req
857. You ran over to him and you gave him
that Heimlich maneuver, where you...Copy !req
858. And poof! The kid puked up the fryCopy !req
859. and they named you
Burger Boy employee of the month.Copy !req
860. It was great. They put your picture
above the cash register and...Copy !req
861. I was really proud of you. I mean it.Copy !req
862. You can be quite charming
when you wanna be.Copy !req
863. You just caught me on a bad day.Copy !req
864. Good night... Annie.Copy !req
865. Good night.Copy !req
866. - Heads up!
- After I finished with the Coast Guard,Copy !req
867. I looked up Dean.
We used to play football together.Copy !req
868. Used to call him Mean Dean Proffitt.
Used to call me Bad Billy Pratt.Copy !req
869. - Out!
- Now, Billy, when did we date?Copy !req
870. Let's eat!Copy !req
871. - It might be...
- Are we talking about the golf course?Copy !req
872. Yeah. The guys with suits
come down in less than a week.Copy !req
873. What do you think about this?Copy !req
874. Sink 'Em and Drink 'Em.
18 holes based on famous breweries.Copy !req
875. I think what I thought yesterday.
It's a lousy idea.Copy !req
876. I thought you'd change your mind
now you're sober.Copy !req
877. What about other places? Foreign places.Copy !req
878. What do you mean?
Like France or Africa?Copy !req
879. I speak French!Copy !req
880. It just came out.Copy !req
881. Do I know what I said?Copy !req
882. Yes, I do.Copy !req
883. I must have learned that in Paris.Copy !req
884. When was I in Paris?Copy !req
885. In the Navy.Copy !req
886. - Navy.
- It's a stupid idea in any language.Copy !req
887. Besides, we're building
these things in America.Copy !req
888. Wait a minute. This isn't a bad idea.Copy !req
889. I could invent some
wild things here. Go on.Copy !req
890. Well, like... the Taj Mahal,
Seven Wonders of the World.Copy !req
891. - Bring them to the people of Elk Cove!
- Well, I gotta bring it in for a price.Copy !req
892. I can bring it in,
but can you draw me some picturesCopy !req
893. so I can see what you mean? Annie?Copy !req
894. - What's this?
- Travis found a girlfriend.Copy !req
895. Hey, Trav! Don't knock her up!Copy !req
896. - Very funny! Watch your...
- Oh, Mom!Copy !req
897. Yeah, "Oh, Mom!" Watch your language!Copy !req
898. Come on! What are you talkin' about?Copy !req
899. - Pick a wonder.
- Stevie Wonder.Copy !req
900. - Pick another.
- Wonder Bread.Copy !req
901. - Give me a wonder. One wonder.
- There's Mount Rushmore.Copy !req
902. - The Parthenon.
- Parthenon, right.Copy !req
903. - St. Basil's, the Russian cathedral.
- Grand Canyon. Everybody'll love that!Copy !req
904. - Egyptian pyramids.
- The Eiffel Tower.Copy !req
905. It's expensive. I gotta build...
If it rains... Hey, fiberglass! Perfect!Copy !req
906. Let's clean up for an early dinner.
I've got a lot of drawing to do.Copy !req
907. Isn't Dad gonna eat with us tonight?Copy !req
908. No! He had to go out.Copy !req
909. - He had to go bowling this time.
- Really?Copy !req
910. It's pretty hard to go bowling
without a bowling ball.Copy !req
911. I know I done you wrongCopy !req
912. Do you remember
that rainy evening I put you outCopy !req
913. With nothin' but a fine-toothed combCopy !req
914. What would you want
with old sweet-mouth?Copy !req
915. Ain't that a shame, I know I'm to blameCopy !req
916. Bill Bailey,
won't you please come home?Copy !req
917. Scott Murphy,
bring your invoice up to the front.Copy !req
918. This ain't your average
pile of fertilizer here.Copy !req
919. No, siree.
This here's a special blend.Copy !req
920. Fish heads, shrimp skins,
crab claws, earthworm droppings...Copy !req
921. I don't wanna know that much about it.Copy !req
922. - Here you go.
- After this, you shovel fish guts!Copy !req
923. If you're lucky,
we'll let you clean the truck!Copy !req
924. - I forgot to give you this.
- What have I got to put on airs for?Copy !req
925. Oh, stop fussing. You look great.Copy !req
926. Well, they put their pants on
just like me, one leg at a time.Copy !req
927. Now, don't be nervous, OK?Copy !req
928. If you don't get it, so what?Copy !req
929. We've been through
rougher times than these before.Copy !req
930. I think.Copy !req
931. Gentlemen, this is Dean Proffitt,
inventor and master craftsman.Copy !req
932. What we're here
for this evening is this.Copy !req
933. It's the Wonders of the World
miniature golf course.Copy !req
934. If you look at these pictures,
you can begin to sort of feel...Copy !req
935. What we're trying to do is bring some
of this outer world here into Elk Cove.Copy !req
936. The Leaning Tower of Pizza
doubles as a pizza stand.Copy !req
937. That sort of gives us an idea
of where we might go in the future.Copy !req
938. Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
Here, let me get that.Copy !req
939. Waitress! Get over here, will you?Copy !req
940. Have you ever been nervous in your life?Copy !req
941. Go ahead, ask me.
Ask me if we got the money.Copy !req
942. - Did you get the money?
- We got the money!Copy !req
943. - Great! That's so great!
- Can you believe it?Copy !req
944. Step up! She rolls up here... and down.Copy !req
945. It's got three choices. This time,
it's going through the oil funnel,Copy !req
946. past the plastic fan, into
the kids' sand shovel and flour sifter.Copy !req
947. Now, turn around quick. Here it comes.
It should be out about now.Copy !req
948. - OK, now show me your invention.
- You're gonna hate it.Copy !req
949. I'm not gonna hate it. I love 'em.Copy !req
950. That's nice.Copy !req
951. I gotta tell her, Billy.
I gotta tell Annie the truth.Copy !req
952. In the beginning, it was OK
because it was part of a gag.Copy !req
953. Now, it's more like lies. I...
I know what you're thinkin'.Copy !req
954. - Hey, I'm not thinkin' anything.
- Yeah, you are and I'm gonna tell her.Copy !req
955. I know it's time to tell her!Copy !req
956. Dr. Death looks mad.Copy !req
957. - Joker's saying, "No".
- I know. What does he say up here?Copy !req
958. "I will re... re... re..."Copy !req
959. - Reduce.
- "Reduce your puny planet to rub..."Copy !req
960. - Ru... ru..
- Rubble.Copy !req
961. Good! That's very good, sweetie.Copy !req
962. Are you gonna leave?Copy !req
963. No. I'm your mommy.Copy !req
964. - I'm not going anywhere.
- Sometimes moms leave.Copy !req
965. Well, I guess maybe they do.
But I'm not gonna go anywhere.Copy !req
966. Good.Copy !req
967. What is this?
Is this a present for me?Copy !req
968. - Yes. I made it from macaroni.
- I love it.Copy !req
969. I'll always wear it.Copy !req
970. - Hey, Dad!
- Hi! How's it goin', guys?Copy !req
971. I got the part of Tiny Tim
in the school play.Copy !req
972. - I got an A in English.
- I'm flunkin' math.Copy !req
973. Well, I guess we better
work on it later on.Copy !req
974. You're just in time.
Dr. Death is on the rampage.Copy !req
975. Annie, I need to talk to you.Copy !req
976. Alone, guys.Copy !req
977. - Is something wrong?
- Well...Copy !req
978. No. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
979. No, I just... I need to tell
you somethin'. Here, sit down.Copy !req
980. What is it?Copy !req
981. Annie, I've done...
I've done something that...Copy !req
982. I'm ashamed of. And I just...Copy !req
983. - I already know.
- You do?Copy !req
984. - What... What do you know?
- You work nightsCopy !req
985. at the fertilizer plant.Copy !req
986. You don't have to be ashamed
because you shovel fish guts.Copy !req
987. I'm proud of you, no matter what you do.Copy !req
988. - Is that it?
- Well, that's one of the things,Copy !req
989. but I... No. Not really.Copy !req
990. What is it?Copy !req
991. Annie...Copy !req
992. I...Copy !req
993. I... God, I forgot your birthday.Copy !req
994. - It's my birthday?
- Come on! Get dressed!Copy !req
995. Jim Dandy to the rescueCopy !req
996. Go, Jim Dandy! Go, Jim Dandy!Copy !req
997. I'm sittin' on a mountain topCopy !req
998. 30,000 feet to dropCopy !req
999. Spied a lady on a runaway horseCopy !req
1000. Uh-huh, that's right, of course!Copy !req
1001. Jim Dandy to the rescueCopy !req
1002. Go, Jim Dandy! Go, Jim Dandy!Copy !req
1003. - Come on, I've had it!
- What? Are we goin' home?Copy !req
1004. - What?
- Are we going home?Copy !req
1005. - Oh, no. I just... Aren't you hot?
- Yeah. Let's go outside.Copy !req
1006. - Come on!
- Hey, let's not forget this.Copy !req
1007. - It's $7 a pop.
- Don't worry about what it costs.Copy !req
1008. It's your birthday! I got it covered.Copy !req
1009. Just one last toast to your birthday.Copy !req
1010. - I lost my bottom.
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
1011. There! They always do that.
Now, this is...Copy !req
1012. - Happy birthday, Annie.
- Thanks, Dean.Copy !req
1013. I've never tasted
anything quite like this.Copy !req
1014. It's good stuff.Copy !req
1015. Boy, it sure is pretty, isn't it?Copy !req
1016. Why do they honk three times?Copy !req
1017. To signal they're comin' home.Copy !req
1018. Yeah, it's a legend... of Arturo,Copy !req
1019. who was a Portuguese fisherman.Copy !req
1020. He met this beautiful girl
his first night in town, Catarina.Copy !req
1021. And eventually they fell in love.Copy !req
1022. But the problem was that Catarina's
father was the territorial governor.Copy !req
1023. He didn't want his only little girl
to be with a lowly fisherman.Copy !req
1024. So he told Arturo
that he'd have to ship off,Copy !req
1025. which he did, but he told Catarina
he'd be back for her.Copy !req
1026. And when he came back,
he'd signal with three long blastsCopy !req
1027. so she could dive off the rocks and swim
to the boat, and they'd be on their way.Copy !req
1028. Oh, I love this story.Copy !req
1029. So, a year later,
everything went as planned.Copy !req
1030. But when she
was swimmin' out to the boat,Copy !req
1031. the fog got so thick that
she couldn't find the boat.Copy !req
1032. Arturo panicked
and he called out, "Catarina! Catarina!"Copy !req
1033. Catarina yelled back, "Arturo!"Copy !req
1034. With that, he dove right off the boat
into the icy waters, and they...Copy !req
1035. - Kissed.
- No, they drowned.Copy !req
1036. They never found each other
and they drowned.Copy !req
1037. - Oh, that's a terrible story!
- Yeah, but the legend isCopy !req
1038. they reunited at the bottom of the sea,
right over there,Copy !req
1039. and every time you see
the spray goin' up, it's them.Copy !req
1040. - Making love?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1041. For ever and ever.Copy !req
1042. For I can't helpCopy !req
1043. Falling in love...Copy !req
1044. Dean?Copy !req
1045. What, Annie?Copy !req
1046. How old am I?Copy !req
1047. Twenty-nine.Copy !req
1048. - Dean.
- Yeah?Copy !req
1049. Was it always like this?Copy !req
1050. Every time with you
is like the first time.Copy !req
1051. Oh, come on, guys!Copy !req
1052. Hey, let us sleep for a while!Copy !req
1053. Right, that's it! I'm gonna spank 'em.Copy !req
1054. - No! Dean, please don't.
- Every one of them's gonna get it!Copy !req
1055. Surprise!Copy !req
1056. - A washing machine!
- Do you like it?Copy !req
1057. Honey, it's so expensive.Copy !req
1058. No shit!Copy !req
1059. Thank you.Copy !req
1060. She might have no tits,
but she has a nice ass.Copy !req
1061. What did he say?Copy !req
1062. Grant?Copy !req
1063. Edith. Hello.Copy !req
1064. This is ludicrous, Grant.
I have called every week for two months.Copy !req
1065. I've looked forward to each call.Copy !req
1066. Do you have the gall to tell me
that I've missed her again?Copy !req
1067. - She's sleeping.
- I don't believe you.Copy !req
1068. Grant, if you do not produce Joanna
in one week,Copy !req
1069. I am going to hire a mass
of mercenaries to hunt you downCopy !req
1070. and chop off the protruding parts
of your body. Is that clear?Copy !req
1071. I'll find her. I mean,
you'll have your daughter soon. Bye!Copy !req
1072. Andrew. Point the boat
back to Elk Snout.Copy !req
1073. You and Mommy are going
to take a little trip, aren't we?Copy !req
1074. We's gonna go bye-bye, yes!Copy !req
1075. - Sit there and don't get dirty!
- I hate this.Copy !req
1076. It's not so bad to get dressed up
every once in a while.Copy !req
1077. It's like the goddamn Brady Bunch!Copy !req
1078. - Dad's here!
- Mom, Dad's home!Copy !req
1079. Hey, guys!Copy !req
1080. I gotta go put on a suit.
Gertie's picking me up.Copy !req
1081. How can you go hunting
on such an important day?Copy !req
1082. Easy.
Pheasant don't play miniature golf.Copy !req
1083. Hunting calms Billy down, honey.Copy !req
1084. - The ceremonies start in an hour.
- Billy, hang this guy out.Copy !req
1085. Sweetie, I'll be ready... in a second.Copy !req
1086. I lent the station wagon to Gertie
so we have to take the truck.Copy !req
1087. God! What a mess.Copy !req
1088. Feathers!Copy !req
1089. "JS."Copy !req
1090. Honey, would you hand me a towel there?Copy !req
1091. Thanks.Copy !req
1092. What... What is this?Copy !req
1093. No, that's my question.
They were in the truck.Copy !req
1094. These are... I dunno what these are.
I... Who...Copy !req
1095. Here. I... We gotta get going.
We're gonna be late.Copy !req
1096. Thanks for putting
my clothes on the bed.Copy !req
1097. - Oh, stop it!
- This is nothing!Copy !req
1098. Nothing?
I gave you the best years of my life.Copy !req
1099. I've raised your children.Copy !req
1100. I bore your fruit four times
and you tell me this is nothing?Copy !req
1101. You're making a big deal
out of a little thing.Copy !req
1102. It's the number one cause
of divorce in this country.Copy !req
1103. Where's my jacket? What divorce?
What are you saying...Copy !req
1104. - I'm saying what I'm saying.
- You're saying what you're saying!Copy !req
1105. - What, you wanna divorce?
- Well... yeah, maybe I do!Copy !req
1106. - Well, you can't have one.
- Oh, really. I can have a divorce.Copy !req
1107. - Where did I put my damn boots?
- I can get a divorce if I want to.Copy !req
1108. I don't need your permission.Copy !req
1109. Do you love her?Copy !req
1110. Do you?Copy !req
1111. Tell me.Copy !req
1112. Honestly? Yes and no.Copy !req
1113. - More yes than no?
- This is unbelievable! How did you...?Copy !req
1114. I'm glad this happened.
I've been tryin' to figure out a wayCopy !req
1115. to tell you this for ever.
Come here. Sit down.Copy !req
1116. I wanna tell you something.Copy !req
1117. JS is you.Copy !req
1118. These are yours and we're not married.
There. God, I finally said it!Copy !req
1119. What's her name? Jacqueline? Josie?Copy !req
1120. Honey, I'm not your husband
and you're not my wife.Copy !req
1121. Is she from that fertilizer plant?
Does she hand out shovels?Copy !req
1122. These aren't your kids!
You didn't bear anything!Copy !req
1123. - Don't change the subject! Who is she?
- Forget it! Come here!Copy !req
1124. Guys, we gotta talk and this is serious.Copy !req
1125. - Mom, we're still all clean!
- I just told her about her notCopy !req
1126. being your mother
and I want you to tell her, too.Copy !req
1127. - Go ahead, tell her.
- Dad, tell her what?Copy !req
1128. - Tell her she's not your mother.
- But she is our mother!Copy !req
1129. No. Don't tell her
what I told you to tell her.Copy !req
1130. Just tell her the truth now, OK?
Tell her about the day she came home!Copy !req
1131. She went for a swim.
We were really worried.Copy !req
1132. I was up all night pacing.Copy !req
1133. - You'd never seen her before!
- Don't speak to my children that way!Copy !req
1134. - What do you think you're doing?
- We won't let you ruin everything.Copy !req
1135. - We're keepin' her.
- She doesn't belong to you!Copy !req
1136. She didn't belong to you,
but that didn't stop you!Copy !req
1137. - I had my reasons!
- So do we.Copy !req
1138. - We like her, Dad!
- You like her, do you?Copy !req
1139. So much you'd rather live with her
than your own father?Copy !req
1140. - Found 'em in the glove compartment?
- Yeah. Tell me every sordid detail.Copy !req
1141. Who is JS and what does she do to Dean?Copy !req
1142. - Annie...
- Tell me everything. Be honest with me.Copy !req
1143. Annie... That's my underwear.Copy !req
1144. - What?
- I don't mean I wear it or anything.Copy !req
1145. - It belongs to a girlfriend.
- What about Gertie?Copy !req
1146. I strayed. See, I got lucky
with this phone-sex girl one night.Copy !req
1147. I found one that accepted
personal checks and...Copy !req
1148. You see, I don't have a back seat
in my truck so I... I used yours.Copy !req
1149. Dean doesn't want you to tell Gert,
so he's covering for me.Copy !req
1150. - What are you talking about?
- I confessed. The jig is up.Copy !req
1151. The jig is up! I'm finally
trying to tell her the truth.Copy !req
1152. I just did.Copy !req
1153. See, I didn't get the reputation
for being Bad Billy Pratt by accident.Copy !req
1154. Annie, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1155. I got horny.Copy !req
1156. - Do you hate me?
- Oh, no, I don't hate you.Copy !req
1157. - I'm glad you're bad, Billy Pratt.
- Biggest load of bullshit I've seen.Copy !req
1158. Honey, honey. Phone-for-sex girls
don't come to your truck, honey. They...Copy !req
1159. No, stop trying to cover for him,
sweetie. Let's just forget it.Copy !req
1160. Pretty expensive panties.
You can have these back.Copy !req
1161. That girl must have more than one phone.Copy !req
1162. Pretty good, huh?Copy !req
1163. You did this to protect your ass
because you faked my pictures?Copy !req
1164. No, I did it to protect your ass, OK?
You belong with her.Copy !req
1165. Oh, cute.Copy !req
1166. Mom! Help, he has my hand.Copy !req
1167. Why do you stick your hands
in people's mouths, anyway?Copy !req
1168. Let's go. Let's go to another one.Copy !req
1169. I have been calling all over Elk Cove.Copy !req
1170. No, no. Don't worry. No, no.
I will try Portland for a limousine.Copy !req
1171. I really don't have anything
to say except that...Copy !req
1172. there would be no Wonders
of the World miniature golf courseCopy !req
1173. if it wasn't for the imagination
and the creativity of one woman.Copy !req
1174. That's my Annie.
Annie, you wanna come up here?Copy !req
1175. I love you, Annie.
I want you to be with me always.Copy !req
1176. Everybody, play ball!Copy !req
1177. Let's go clean up.Copy !req
1178. - Hey, Dad! Whose car is that?
- Maybe it's a rich relative.Copy !req
1179. - Sure, it's Daddy Warbucks!
- Maybe we won the lottery.Copy !req
1180. Hi, Grant!
I just have to put these in some water.Copy !req
1181. Grant? Is that you?Copy !req
1182. Yes.Copy !req
1183. Yes, you're Grant Stayton III.Copy !req
1184. I remember!Copy !req
1185. I remember. I'm Joanna Stayton.Copy !req
1186. Dean, I'm cured.Copy !req
1187. I can remember again.Copy !req
1188. Oh, God!Copy !req
1189. You can't imagine how terrible it is
not to know who you are.Copy !req
1190. The doctor said that my mind would
come back suddenly and he was right.Copy !req
1191. I saw you, I walked past you into the
house and poof! My memory came back.Copy !req
1192. Ask me anything.
Ask me about my childhood in New York.Copy !req
1193. About my mom. Her name is Edith.Copy !req
1194. About my money. Money!Copy !req
1195. I have money! I have lots of money!
I even have some in Switzerland!Copy !req
1196. - Switzerland?
- See how I know me?Copy !req
1197. Oh, God, this is
the happiest day of my life!Copy !req
1198. Oh, thank you.
Thank you for bringing me hereCopy !req
1199. and making me a wife and a mother and...Copy !req
1200. Why did you do that?Copy !req
1201. Why...?Copy !req
1202. I know why.Copy !req
1203. You're that sweaty carpenter
who hates me.Copy !req
1204. And these are your children,
and you made me...Copy !req
1205. believe that...Copy !req
1206. Oh, God...Copy !req
1207. You tricked me.Copy !req
1208. You used me.Copy !req
1209. Say something.Copy !req
1210. - Annie, it just started out...
- My name is not Annie.Copy !req
1211. And I don't belong with you.Copy !req
1212. And I don't belong with them.Copy !req
1213. I have to... get my things.Copy !req
1214. Don't get any ideas. I brought Olaf.Copy !req
1215. Olaf!Copy !req
1216. I think we can take Olaf.Copy !req
1217. I won't have...Copy !req
1218. There's nothing inside that's mine.Copy !req
1219. Joanna, for whatever it's worth,Copy !req
1220. thank you.Copy !req
1221. Come on, dear.Copy !req
1222. We'll get you out of these clothes.Copy !req
1223. - Mom, wait!
- Mom!Copy !req
1224. - Mom!
- Mom, come back!Copy !req
1225. - You said moms don't leave!
- Get!Copy !req
1226. We should have told her, Dad.Copy !req
1227. She just would have left sooner.Copy !req
1228. Come on.Copy !req
1229. Welcome back, Mrs. Stayton.Copy !req
1230. Dr. Korman, will she ever again
be the debutante I raised?Copy !req
1231. Will she be one of us?Copy !req
1232. Joanna wants
to rediscover her old self.Copy !req
1233. Her memory's almost
completely restored.Copy !req
1234. She even recalled the session
where I wrote this.Copy !req
1235. I love you madly
though you treat me badly...Copy !req
1236. Dr. Korman! Please!Copy !req
1237. We need analysis, not Moon River.
I want my wife back.Copy !req
1238. Joanna knows who she is.
And she's trying to behave that way.Copy !req
1239. - Happy?
- Good evening, madam.Copy !req
1240. - My darling Joanna.
- You look radiant, Jo-Jo.Copy !req
1241. Please don't call me that.
I feel like a Pomeranian.Copy !req
1242. You liked being called Jo-Jo.
It was "diddums" you hated.Copy !req
1243. Mother, why does
Dr. Korman have to be here?Copy !req
1244. - I feel self-conscious enough as it is.
- Oh, sweetie.Copy !req
1245. Just indulge Mommy.Copy !req
1246. Come along, now. Sit, sit, sit.Copy !req
1247. Andrew, I'm sitting.Copy !req
1248. Now, Mrs. Mintz.Copy !req
1249. Dr. Korman knows you so well, dear,Copy !req
1250. and he only wants to help.Copy !req
1251. - Champagne, madam.
- Thank you, Andrew.Copy !req
1252. - Andrew, I'd love a beer.
- A beer?Copy !req
1253. - It's wrong, isn't it?
- Nothing is ever wrong.Copy !req
1254. Actually, I really don't see the harm
in accommodating her wishes, Andrew.Copy !req
1255. - Cigarette, darling?
- I don't smoke, Mother. Do I?Copy !req
1256. Of course you smoke.
You've always smoked.Copy !req
1257. - I smoke.
- Why don't we all smoke?Copy !req
1258. Why do I have to smoke? I've never
smoked. I get sick when I smoke.Copy !req
1259. Why does everyone try to make me
do what I don't want to do?Copy !req
1260. Grant, we are not
interested in your therapy.Copy !req
1261. I had my nervous breakdown and I didn't
have therapy. I never had therapy!Copy !req
1262. - Mother, would you like some?
- I'd love some.Copy !req
1263. Put that down! Good God, Joanna!
We have servants for that.Copy !req
1264. Now, really, this is going too far.Copy !req
1265. Joanna, what motivated you
to rise and go get the serving tray?Copy !req
1266. Well, I thought you might be hungry.Copy !req
1267. - That's excellent.
- What's excellent about it?Copy !req
1268. - I was hungry.
- Your beer, madam.Copy !req
1269. Who cares that you were hungry!
She became a waitress!Copy !req
1270. - My daughter's a waitress?
- Hold it.Copy !req
1271. Good stuff.Copy !req
1272. I'll stay an extra few days, yes.Copy !req
1273. - They won't come in.
- Shit.Copy !req
1274. SpaghettiO Surprise.Copy !req
1275. - What's goin' on?
- We're gettin' Mom back.Copy !req
1276. - We miss her.
- She cuts the crusts off the bread.Copy !req
1277. She doesn't take any of my shit either.
I need discipline.Copy !req
1278. We got $3.04.Copy !req
1279. We're gonna rent a fishing boat
and get her back.Copy !req
1280. No fishing boat's gonna catch a yacht,
especially at that price.Copy !req
1281. - Maybe she'll decide to come back.
- Dumbo, she's on her way to New York!Copy !req
1282. - This is a job for Dr. Death.
- Yeah, Dr. Death could do it!Copy !req
1283. - We gotta do somethin'. Right, Dad?
- Wrong!Copy !req
1284. Now, she's gone, guys.Copy !req
1285. She hates me!Copy !req
1286. She's got her rich husband back,Copy !req
1287. and her rich life,
and that's the end of it.Copy !req
1288. I love the sound of the ocean.Copy !req
1289. Hello!Copy !req
1290. Tofutti.Copy !req
1291. Tofutti, where are you
when I need you?Copy !req
1292. Tofutti Klein...Copy !req
1293. All together. And!Copy !req
1294. Lick, shake, lick.Copy !req
1295. Drink!Copy !req
1296. Suck!Copy !req
1297. - You sucked first!
- No, I didn't! I did it right!Copy !req
1298. - Danger watch! Gotta go! Let's go!
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
1299. Croissants in the morning!Copy !req
1300. Dinner was wonderful.Copy !req
1301. You best not lose these again, madam.Copy !req
1302. - Again?
- With my apologies, madam.Copy !req
1303. "Andrew! I seem to have lost
my ruby earrings somewhere between...Copy !req
1304. 64th... and 68th Streets.Copy !req
1305. Find them!"Copy !req
1306. I've behaved so badly. I don't know
how you put up with me for so long.Copy !req
1307. You've done so many
wonderful things for meCopy !req
1308. and I've never even once said thank you.Copy !req
1309. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1310. Apology accepted, ma'am.Copy !req
1311. Everyone thinks I'm crazy.
Do you think they're right?Copy !req
1312. Oh, no, madam. Oh, no.Copy !req
1313. Most of us... go through life
with blinders on, madam,Copy !req
1314. knowing only that one little station
to which we were born.Copy !req
1315. But you, madam, on the other hand,
have had the rare privilegeCopy !req
1316. of escaping your bonds for just a spellCopy !req
1317. to see life
from an entirely new perspective.Copy !req
1318. How you choose
to use that information, madam,Copy !req
1319. is entirely up to you.Copy !req
1320. - Captain Karl?
- Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
1321. - We've never really had time to talk.
- No, we haven't.Copy !req
1322. Well, there's no time now.Copy !req
1323. - What are you doing?
- Turning the boat around.Copy !req
1324. - Why?
- I'm going home.Copy !req
1325. You're turning that wheel too fast.Copy !req
1326. Captain Karl! Why is the land
on the wrong side of the yacht?Copy !req
1327. Oh, she did?
Well, she's gone too far this time.Copy !req
1328. She thinks she's dealing with an idiot!Copy !req
1329. So we're heading back
to the jungles of Oregon!Copy !req
1330. - I want to go back, Grant.
- To him?Copy !req
1331. Yes. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1332. You haven't begun to be sorry,
you hillbilly harlot!Copy !req
1333. Captain Karl, go below with the crew.
I'm taking over.Copy !req
1334. Andrew, go get Dr. Korman! Go!Copy !req
1335. - Get out of my way, Karl!
- But, sir!Copy !req
1336. Now, I'm in charge!Copy !req
1337. We're coming about...
at full speed ahead!Copy !req
1338. - Who is it?
- Dr. Death. Let's go.Copy !req
1339. We're gonna go get her!Copy !req
1340. Come on! Billy's friends'll help us!Copy !req
1341. - I hope I don't get court-martialed.
- Yeah, I owe you.Copy !req
1342. - Anything in the manual?
- Not about pulling alongside a shipCopy !req
1343. and telling a passenger
you love them, sir.Copy !req
1344. Put your nose in the manual
and find something, Lucas!Copy !req
1345. Whatever you do,
I'm getting off at the next port.Copy !req
1346. Don't be ridiculous.
Nobody leaves a Stayton.Copy !req
1347. I don't love you anymore.
Please try and understand that.Copy !req
1348. What has love got to do with marriage?Copy !req
1349. You'd actually prefer living in squalor
with that cave dweller!Copy !req
1350. They should have kept you
in the hospital psycho ward!Copy !req
1351. What did you say?Copy !req
1352. How did you know that?Copy !req
1353. You left me there, didn't you?Copy !req
1354. You snake!Copy !req
1355. How could you do that?Copy !req
1356. How could you be such a slime?Copy !req
1357. Call me all the names you want,Copy !req
1358. but many women adore me!Copy !req
1359. Do you wanna know what I was doing?
I'll tell you.Copy !req
1360. I was whacking the donkey
with painted ladies. They loved me!Copy !req
1361. Yes! I did leave you.Copy !req
1362. There! Now, I've confessed. So what?Copy !req
1363. We're at sea. And I'm a god at sea!Copy !req
1364. 9:00 in the morning.
This better be good.Copy !req
1365. Doctor, Grant's having
another nervous breakdown.Copy !req
1366. - He thinks he's God. Keep him busy.
- All right.Copy !req
1367. - Morning, Grant.
- Korman, my wife is insane.Copy !req
1368. - Do we have a straitjacket?
- I always carry one.Copy !req
1369. Good! Put her in it!Copy !req
1370. You're overwrought, Grant.
I want you to take a Valium.Copy !req
1371. Here, take one of mine.Copy !req
1372. - Is Nino here?
- Nino on break.Copy !req
1373. I have to stop the boat.
My husband's a little bit crazy...Copy !req
1374. - The captain stop the boat.
- I'm the captain!Copy !req
1375. No, please don't salute!
I have to find a red button...Copy !req
1376. Vessel sighted straight ahead, sir!Copy !req
1377. - Identify.
- There's a fat guy in my way, sir.Copy !req
1378. Who you callin' fat, you little weasel!
Come here!Copy !req
1379. Where's the thing? I need the red...Copy !req
1380. - Here! Here it is!
- No, please!Copy !req
1381. - The boat stopped.
- Yes, it stopped!Copy !req
1382. - I need to get it turned around.
- Nino on the break.Copy !req
1383. He's here!Copy !req
1384. He's here! That's him!Copy !req
1385. Stop that boat immediately
and let me get my mom!Copy !req
1386. Pee-Wee Herman.Copy !req
1387. Come in, Immaculata.Copy !req
1388. - He's here!
- There's mutiny afoot.Copy !req
1389. She's at the bottom of this mutiny.
I'm gonna rid myself of this albatross.Copy !req
1390. He's here!Copy !req
1391. - Go back to New York, Dr. Korman.
- Really? Thank you.Copy !req
1392. - Dean!
- Madam! The ship has stopped.Copy !req
1393. What happened? Did he strike you?Copy !req
1394. - Did he make you do something?
- No! Everything's wonderful.Copy !req
1395. - Message over the radio, sir.
- Annie!Copy !req
1396. Looks like the fun's over.Copy !req
1397. We've got some salmon poachers
fishing in illegal waters.Copy !req
1398. That takes precedence
over your friend's love life.Copy !req
1399. - Come about!
- Son, no more radio.Copy !req
1400. Hey! Hey! Hey, wait a... Hey!Copy !req
1401. - Billy, what's goin' on?
- We're turnin' round.Copy !req
1402. They're going after salmon poachers.Copy !req
1403. He's leaving. Where's he going?Copy !req
1404. - Catarina!
- Arturo!Copy !req
1405. I'm coming!Copy !req
1406. - Man overboard!
- Shit! Sound the horn.Copy !req
1407. Coming about again, Czapowskyj.Copy !req
1408. Annie!Copy !req
1409. Oh, no, madam. I cannot let you do this!Copy !req
1410. - What?
- Not without a life jacket.Copy !req
1411. Dean! I'm coming!Copy !req
1412. Madam, you really should
play a little hard to get.Copy !req
1413. Tell my mother I'll call her!Copy !req
1414. Woman overboard!
She's wearing an evening dress, sir.Copy !req
1415. Get those kids out of the rescue boat.
Let's go!Copy !req
1416. My mom's out there! Let me...Copy !req
1417. Halt! You treasonous tramp!Copy !req
1418. Conspiring with the enemy
at sea is mutiny!Copy !req
1419. Pull!Copy !req
1420. Another man overboard!Copy !req
1421. I am giving my notice, sir!Copy !req
1422. - Annie!
- Oh, Dean!Copy !req
1423. Annie!Copy !req
1424. I love you! I'll never leave you again!Copy !req
1425. I'll never let you go!
You're my Annie. You always will be.Copy !req
1426. Man overboard
is kissing woman overboard.Copy !req
1427. Our rescue boat is starboard.Copy !req
1428. The guy with the arrows
is being pulled in at port.Copy !req
1429. It's a helluva day at sea, sir.Copy !req
1430. - I can't believe you did it.
- Oh, I saw you jump so I jumped.Copy !req
1431. No, I don't mean that.Copy !req
1432. I can't believe
you gave all that up just for me.Copy !req
1433. - I didn't.
- What do... What do you mean?Copy !req
1434. Well, the truth is that it's mine.Copy !req
1435. The boat, the money, everything.
It's all mine.Copy !req
1436. Dean! Dean, it's OK!Copy !req
1437. - Did you tell 'em?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1438. They're making out
their Christmas lists.Copy !req
1439. - Already?
- How do you spell Porsche?Copy !req
1440. They got me thinking, though.Copy !req
1441. What can I possibly give you, ever,
that you don't already have?Copy !req
1442. A little girl.Copy !req
1443. Different peopleCopy !req
1444. Different worldsCopy !req
1445. You just call meCopy !req
1446. And I'll be there for youCopy !req
1447. We belong togetherCopy !req
1448. You know it's trueCopy !req
1449. 'Cause there's something special aboutCopy !req
1450. Me and youCopy !req
1451. Something special about our loveCopy !req
1452. It's all rightCopy !req
1453. Baby, it's OKCopy !req
1454. We're gonna make itCopy !req
1455. No matter what they sayCopy !req
1456. Sure as the stars shineCopy !req
1457. In the sky aboveCopy !req
1458. There is something special
about our loveCopy !req
1459. People changeCopy !req
1460. As time goes byCopy !req
1461. Others come betweenCopy !req
1462. But I'll love youCopy !req
1463. Till the day I dieCopy !req
1464. 'Cause there's something special aboutCopy !req
1465. You and meCopy !req
1466. Something special about our loveCopy !req