1. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.
Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.Copy !req
2. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.
Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.Copy !req
3. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.
Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.Copy !req
4. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.
Hare Krishna. Come on.Copy !req
5. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.
Hare Krishna.Copy !req
6. Keep it together. Hare Krishna.
Hare Krishna.Copy !req
7. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.Copy !req
8. Hare Kr... No.Copy !req
9. A heartbreaking loss for Hare Krishna.Copy !req
10. - Give me a 1-5-6, a 1-5-7, and a...
- Give me a break, will you?Copy !req
11. You can't bet every horse.
It's cheating.Copy !req
12. - Give me the tickets.
- We're gonna get shut out.Copy !req
13. I've got a sure winner.
$ 10 across the board on number 2.Copy !req
14. At 70-to-1?Copy !req
15. Charlie, where's the money?Copy !req
16. If I had the money, would I be betting
long shots?Copy !req
17. Please, Edie, cover for me
this one time.Copy !req
18. Okay, Charlie. You're down.Copy !req
19. Thank you, sweetheart.
I love you very much.Copy !req
20. A pretty good start.
The only one slow is High Button Shoes.Copy !req
21. And High Button Shoes is last,
early on.Copy !req
22. Swinging onto the back stretch,
it's Last Chance setting the pace.Copy !req
23. High Button Shoes does begin
to pick it up.Copy !req
24. High Button Shoes now joins the pack
as they swing onto the last stretch.Copy !req
25. High Button Shoes.
High Button Shoes.Copy !req
26. - High Button Shoes. High Button Shoes.
- High Button Shoes...Copy !req
27. High Button Shoes.
High Button Shoes!Copy !req
28. High Button Shoes.
High Button Shoes!Copy !req
29. Come on, you schmuck! Move!Copy !req
30. You got it, kid! You got it!Copy !req
31. That's the way to do it!Copy !req
32. High Button Shoes!
High Button Shoes!Copy !req
33. You got it, baby!Copy !req
34. High Button Shoes has won!Copy !req
35. I love you too.Copy !req
36. See you later, sweetheart.
Hi, how you doing?Copy !req
37. Looks like you're having a big day, huh?Copy !req
38. Mickey, my favorite bookie.Copy !req
39. - How's business?
- I'll tell you, Charlie.Copy !req
40. - I'm in a tough racket.
- Yeah. I know what you mean.Copy !req
41. Well, I gotta see somebo...Copy !req
42. Sometimes, I get this terrible feeling
like people are trying to avoid me.Copy !req
43. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
44. That's too bad. You should see
someone about that.Copy !req
45. - I am seeing someone.
- Who?Copy !req
46. - Where's my money, Charlie?
- Money?Copy !req
47. Come on, I'm broke, Mickey. You'll be
the first to know when I get money...Copy !req
48. Oh, my goodness.
Where did this come from?Copy !req
49. I'll tell you what. I'll give you $500
and we'll call it even, all right?Copy !req
50. I'll tell you what.Copy !req
51. I'll take a grand,
and you still owe me three grand.Copy !req
52. Three thousand.Copy !req
53. Always and forever, kiddo.Copy !req
54. Did you come to borrow money?Copy !req
55. Let me just say...Copy !req
56. Why do you assume the only reason
I come here is to borrow money?Copy !req
57. Because every time you
come here, you borrow money.Copy !req
58. Herbie, I'm gonna tell you something
you're not gonna believe.Copy !req
59. I never believe anything
that you tell me.Copy !req
60. Ho-ho-ho. Very funny.Copy !req
61. No, it's very sad.Copy !req
62. Not as sad as a man having dinner
with a photograph.Copy !req
63. Come on. I'm celebrating.
It's my 45th wedding anniversary.Copy !req
64. Very touching.Copy !req
65. Except today isn't your anniversary.Copy !req
66. Look, Suzie was my wife.Copy !req
67. - I realize that, she was my sister.
- My ann...Copy !req
68. - I was your best man, March 15, 1952.
- Correct.Copy !req
69. Except today is the 16th.Copy !req
70. - Impossible.
- Why? That's the way it works.Copy !req
71. First, you get the 15th,
then after that is the 16th.Copy !req
72. And then later on comes the 17th.Copy !req
73. Here. Take a look at the date.Copy !req
74. Sixteen...Copy !req
75. God, I've blown my own anniversary.Copy !req
76. I'm sorry, kiddo.Copy !req
77. - There.
- What the hell...?Copy !req
78. If you need clothes, the Salvation Army's
over on Fourth Street.Copy !req
79. - These will be perfect.
- What are...? Perfect for what?Copy !req
80. Will you do me a favor? I worked
in a department store for half of my life.Copy !req
81. If you don't buy something,
you put it back.Copy !req
82. Herbie...Copy !req
83. - ... happy anniversary.
- That was yesterday.Copy !req
84. Go ahead, open it.Copy !req
85. "Mexico and the Yucatán. Witness
the spectacle of a rare solar eclipse...Copy !req
86. from the Mayan Pyramids."Copy !req
87. - This is a cruise.
- Right.Copy !req
88. - Deluxe accommodations, see?
- All right, where'd you get these?Copy !req
89. Remember a guy named No-Neck?Copy !req
90. Well, they finally busted him.Copy !req
91. He gave me these in lieu of
cash he owed me.Copy !req
92. Now, wait a minute.
Somebody owed you money?Copy !req
93. How dumb do you think I am?Copy !req
94. What are you gonna do? Stay cooped up
in this mausoleum you call home?Copy !req
95. - You're still alive. Did anybody tell you?
- Look who's talking.Copy !req
96. Damn right, "Look who's talking."Copy !req
97. - Don't you get tired of being alone?
- No, the answer's no.Copy !req
98. - Gourmet food, free drinks.
- No. No.Copy !req
99. A bevy of pretty broads.Copy !req
100. You're looking for a meaningful
relationship.Copy !req
101. - Why not?
- You've never had one in your life.Copy !req
102. I got news for you.
My life isn't over yet...Copy !req
103. which is why I suggest we get on
that ship and sip champagne...Copy !req
104. with some lonely, rich broads.Copy !req
105. Who knows?
We may get lucky during the eclipse.Copy !req
106. Charlie, hear me:Copy !req
107. The answer is no.Copy !req
108. Hold it. Hold it. Coming through.Copy !req
109. Two customers.Copy !req
110. Made it just in time.Copy !req
111. - Herbie, come this way.
- It's the wrong section.Copy !req
112. - This looks like our seats.
- Those are first-class.Copy !req
113. What's the matter?
We're not first-class?Copy !req
114. - But our boarding things say...
- I don't care what they say.Copy !req
115. - Will you sit down?
- But wait.Copy !req
116. - These could belong to somebody else.
- Relax, will you? The doors are closed.Copy !req
117. We're not gonna be stopping
on 34th Street to pick up passengers.Copy !req
118. Okay, Charlie.Copy !req
119. Thank you.Copy !req
120. - Thank you.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
121. - I may become a frequent flier.
- Damn good mimosa.Copy !req
122. Yeah, here's to good living, kid.Copy !req
123. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
124. Okay. Thank you very much. Okay, now
begins the first leg of our honeymoon.Copy !req
125. Only a year late.Copy !req
126. I'd like to make a small bet
on where they're gonna be sitting.Copy !req
127. It's Mom. Say hi, Mom.Copy !req
128. - Stop it, will you, Allan?
- And my beautiful bride.Copy !req
129. Let me see here.Copy !req
130. Excuse me. I believe
you're sitting in our seats.Copy !req
131. - Yeah, that figures.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
132. That's all right, I'm sorry.
See what you do?Copy !req
133. - May I see your boarding passes?
- Actually, it's my fault.Copy !req
134. The doctor here thought it'd be best if
I weren't subjected to the stress...Copy !req
135. - ... of economy class.
- Thirty-seven H and J.Copy !req
136. You gentlemen will have to pay
for these drinks.Copy !req
137. Maybe Blue Cross could cover it.Copy !req
138. That's good.Copy !req
139. That's very funny, ma'am. Very witty.Copy !req
140. Hey.Copy !req
141. Aren't those the seats they use
for transporting convicted felons?Copy !req
142. Herbie, sit down.Copy !req
143. You're scaring the kids.Copy !req
144. We'll begin our nonstop
express service to Miami, Florida.Copy !req
145. Our flight time will be
approximately five hours.Copy !req
146. Welcome aboard
the beautiful M.S. Westerdam.Copy !req
147. Your cabin stewards are happy to meet
any special needs you may have.Copy !req
148. - Don't hesitate to ask for assistance.
- Boy, oh, boy.Copy !req
149. And please note, there will be a
compulsory lifeboat drill...Copy !req
150. - ... today at 5:30 p.m.
- Mr. Lee, back again.Copy !req
151. Nice to see you
and the lovely missus.Copy !req
152. Oh, no, it's someone else, isn't it?
Hello.Copy !req
153. I'd like you to meet my dance hosts.
Mac.Copy !req
154. - Hello.
- Jonathan.Copy !req
155. Come on.Copy !req
156. Herbie, listen to me. I wanted to tell you
something before you...Copy !req
157. - Herbie...
- Oh, wow.Copy !req
158. Man, I tell you something.Copy !req
159. When they say "deluxe accommodations,"
they mean deluxe.Copy !req
160. Well, Herbie, "deluxe" can mean
several different things.Copy !req
161. For example, in a diner,
"deluxe" means "comes with fries."Copy !req
162. This is it. Oh, Ma!
This is gorgeous. What a suite.Copy !req
163. - Oh. Hi.
- Hello, ladies.Copy !req
164. I want those small pieces in the
bedroom. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
165. Lizzy, get a load of slouchy here.Copy !req
166. Does he come with the stateroom?Copy !req
167. Mom, where's your hospitality?Copy !req
168. Now, listen.
I have been on a plane for three hours.Copy !req
169. I have been in a taxicab
for an hour-and-a-half.Copy !req
170. I need to take a crap and a nap...Copy !req
171. and I do not need an audience.Copy !req
172. Sounds like a party we can miss.Copy !req
173. - We'll see you later, ladies.
- Bye, now.Copy !req
174. Boy. Did you see
the chassis on that broad?Copy !req
175. I'll bet she's worth a few mil.Copy !req
176. This must be wrong. I mean, why would
they have us way down here?Copy !req
177. I like it down here. Gives us a chance
to get away from the commotion up top.Copy !req
178. Like the other passengers
and the view?Copy !req
179. - This is us.
- Listen to me.Copy !req
180. I've been meaning to tell you something.
Before you go into the room, listen.Copy !req
181. - Cozy, isn't it?
- It's wha...? It's "cozy"?Copy !req
182. A good fart will give you a concussion.Copy !req
183. Needs a little daylight.Copy !req
184. Herb, this is the best possible thing
that could've happened.Copy !req
185. I can't wait to hear why.Copy !req
186. - As dance hosts...
- What?Copy !req
187. it's actually our job to flirt
with all the classy broads.Copy !req
188. What? Dance hosts?Copy !req
189. Yeah, that's how I was able
to afford the tickets.Copy !req
190. Instead of paying for the cruise,
I signed us up as dance hosts.Copy !req
191. - The cruise is free.
- What do you mean, you idiot?Copy !req
192. - We're working!
- We're not working.Copy !req
193. We're dancing and cavorting.Copy !req
194. You moron. You don't even know
how to dance.Copy !req
195. That's why I brought you here.Copy !req
196. - Perhaps we're interrupting you.
- Welcome aboard.Copy !req
197. We share the bathroom. This is
Jonathan Deveraux. I'm Mac Vela.Copy !req
198. USMC retired.
I'll be your liaison to the CD.Copy !req
199. - The what D?
- Cruise director. Gil Godwyn?Copy !req
200. Too bad you got Gil for your first gig.
He's a real prick.Copy !req
201. - Control freak.
- Frigging Nazi.Copy !req
202. - Classic megalomaniac.
- Not a nice man.Copy !req
203. If you have any questions, feel free.Copy !req
204. I got one question.
What's the fastest route off this ship?Copy !req
205. Excuse me.Copy !req
206. Hello.Copy !req
207. Okay, chief. Pull the gangway in.Copy !req
208. All visitors should now be ashore.Copy !req
209. Last call, please.
All visitors should now be ashore.Copy !req
210. Pardon me.Copy !req
211. Oh!Copy !req
212. Oh, my God.Copy !req
213. - Sir, are you okay?
- Yeah, I think.Copy !req
214. - There you go. You sure?
- Thank you, yeah.Copy !req
215. - God, that's embarrassing.
- Only for you.Copy !req
216. - Oh, my God!
- What?Copy !req
217. The ship's moving.Copy !req
218. - Ships are known to do that.
- But I need that gangplank.Copy !req
219. Please! Hello! Major! Somebody!Copy !req
220. I gotta use that sucker!Copy !req
221. I've gotta... I've got... Hello!Copy !req
222. Now, where the hell did they go
with my luggage?Copy !req
223. God almighty.Copy !req
224. Thank you very much.
What's the matter with you?Copy !req
225. - Got a problem?
- Not really.Copy !req
226. I always cry at sailings.Copy !req
227. They're so romantic.Copy !req
228. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
229. Join your cruise staff by
the lido pool on the upper promenade...Copy !req
230. deck aft for the gala sail away...Copy !req
231. Herbie, I know you're upset now,
but in a few days you'll be thanking me.Copy !req
232. Listen, Charlie, what is in this for you?Copy !req
233. Now tell me, and no shit,
because I'm too tired.Copy !req
234. Okay, fine. Remember my old pal Tony?
Tony?Copy !req
235. - Anthony Caldoni?
- Yeah.Copy !req
236. Yeah, the mail-fraud guy.Copy !req
237. First of all, those charges
were dropped.Copy !req
238. - But guess what he's doing today.
- I don't give a rat's ass.Copy !req
239. So happens, he's married to one
of the richest broads in Palm Beach.Copy !req
240. And guess how they met.Copy !req
241. One, two, cha-cha-cha.Copy !req
242. - One, two...
- No way, José.Copy !req
243. Wake me at the first port of call.
That's where I get off.Copy !req
244. - I hate to see you do this.
- Why is that?Copy !req
245. Because if you don't dance
you lose your employee status...Copy !req
246. and that means you gotta pay.
That's 2500 smackeroonies.Copy !req
247. You son of a bitch! You're the one
who should be paying!Copy !req
248. Would the dance hosts
please report to the main ballroom?Copy !req
249. They're playing our song.Copy !req
250. Very nice hair.Copy !req
251. Right. Nails? Cut them. Let me.Copy !req
252. Thank you. Excellent, Mac.Copy !req
253. Jonathan, clip the ear hair.Copy !req
254. - I beg your pardon?
- Ear hair.Copy !req
255. I'm very skeptical of dance hosts
who can't keep time.Copy !req
256. - Mister...?
- Me? Sullivan, Herb.Copy !req
257. - And that's Gordon, Charles.
- Lovely.Copy !req
258. Sorry we're late,
but it's a very big boat.Copy !req
259. This boat happens to be
the flagship vessel...Copy !req
260. of the world's premier cruise line.
And I am the cruise director.Copy !req
261. Sir. Yes, sir.Copy !req
262. I've a feeling you're
going to be trouble.Copy !req
263. - Oh...
- No, we're not. We're pussycats.Copy !req
264. For your sake, I hope...Copy !req
265. Is that cologne or Armor All?Copy !req
266. That's close. Close, it's cologne,
but I bought it at a gas station.Copy !req
267. I've got my eye on you.Copy !req
268. You're not so bad yourself.Copy !req
269. - All right.
- Fuck you.Copy !req
270. We're 30 seconds from intros.Copy !req
271. Now, remember that you are
the representatives of this ship...Copy !req
272. and will, at all times,
behave in a manner appropriate thereto.Copy !req
273. You will be courteous and respectful
at all times, and when the music stops...Copy !req
274. you will escort your partner
back to her seat.Copy !req
275. Above all, you will not fraternize
privately with the guests at any time.Copy !req
276. If you do, it's grounds
for immediate dismissal.Copy !req
277. - Permission to speak, sir?
- Denied. Mac, mike.Copy !req
278. - Who's Mac Mike?
- I don't know.Copy !req
279. Oh, yes.Copy !req
280. Ladies and gentlemen,
the M.S. Westerdam proudly presents...Copy !req
281. your cruise director...Copy !req
282. the very talented Mr. Gil Godwyn!Copy !req
283. Thank you!Copy !req
284. Can't believe it.
He actually opens for himself.Copy !req
285. Thank you so very much.
Aren't they absolutely marvelous?Copy !req
286. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
287. - Very good. Very good.
- Thank you.Copy !req
288. - Good. Very good.
- Magnificent.Copy !req
289. Moving experience.Copy !req
290. Thank you so much.Copy !req
291. You're too kind, really.
Thank you, girls.Copy !req
292. What could his parents
have possibly done to him?Copy !req
293. Now, ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to introduce our dance hosts.Copy !req
294. Mac.Copy !req
295. Jonathan. Bill.Copy !req
296. How do you like him?Copy !req
297. - He's too short.
- Oh.Copy !req
298. - Julio. Bobby.
- Oh me, me!Copy !req
299. Scott. Herb.
And Ch... Cha... Ch... Charlie!Copy !req
300. Hey, Charlie.Copy !req
301. Charlie.Copy !req
302. - That guy Herb is cute.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
303. Let's get them while they're hot.Copy !req
304. Just an expression.Copy !req
305. Just like the beach at Normandy.Copy !req
306. Gentlemen, I didn't hire you
to be wallflowers.Copy !req
307. I don't want anyone on my ship
ever to feel ignored.Copy !req
308. Mrs. Carruthers,
may I have the great pleasure?Copy !req
309. Kiss-ass.Copy !req
310. Take it, fellas.Copy !req
311. - I'm Mac. Welcome aboard.
- Thank you, Mac.Copy !req
312. Where are you going?Copy !req
313. Taking on a lot of water
in the forward compartment, sir.Copy !req
314. God. You have two minutes. Go.Copy !req
315. Any time you're ready, Herb.Copy !req
316. Silly old me. I do expect my dance hosts
to actually dance.Copy !req
317. Of course. It's just that
I don't know if I'm up to...Copy !req
318. I'll tell you the truth, Gil.
I lost my wife not too long ago.Copy !req
319. Oh, good. Tell it to the ladies.
They eat it up.Copy !req
320. Do I take a number,
or may I serve myself?Copy !req
321. Yeah, but I'm kind of new at this.Copy !req
322. Well, you can dance, can't you?Copy !req
323. Oh.Copy !req
324. You can dance.Copy !req
325. Oh.Copy !req
326. - I sure hope these pins hold.
- What pins?Copy !req
327. Nothing serious. They just keep
my legs attached to my hips.Copy !req
328. - Ever seen so much food in your life?
- Spectacular.Copy !req
329. I was a size 4 when I got on this ship.Copy !req
330. Excuse me for butting in,
but don't I know you from someplace?Copy !req
331. - I don't know, not...
- Pardon me.Copy !req
332. - Um...
- Uh...Copy !req
333. Bravo.Copy !req
334. Thank you very much.Copy !req
335. - Is there a seat open there?
- Yes, of course.Copy !req
336. - Sure. Pull up a chair.
- Here we go.Copy !req
337. - Looks like it's your lucky night, kid.
- It is that, it is.Copy !req
338. Luck had absolutely nothing
to do with it.Copy !req
339. She played that hand splendidly.
Absolutely splendidly.Copy !req
340. Why, thank you.Copy !req
341. It's okay. You can drop
the accent now.Copy !req
342. You want a refill on this, kid?Copy !req
343. Oh, thanks.Copy !req
344. Name's Charlie Gordon.
I'm single and I'm looking.Copy !req
345. Liz LaBreche. I'm single
and I ain't looking, but thanks.Copy !req
346. You're welcome.Copy !req
347. They call me Gordo on the street.Copy !req
348. - What street is that, Gordo?
- Wall Street. Ever hear of it?Copy !req
349. What exactly do you do
on Wall Street?Copy !req
350. Well, I have a small hot-dog stand.Copy !req
351. When things go badly over there,
I'm in the mergers and acquisitions game.Copy !req
352. The buy-in's $ 1000.Copy !req
353. A thousand dollars. That reminds me
of my first year at college.Copy !req
354. Where exactly did you
go to college, Gordo?Copy !req
355. That's a little place called F.U.Copy !req
356. - Your name, sir, is...?
- Carswell.Copy !req
357. Now, boys, let's not have
a pissing match here.Copy !req
358. Let's play cards.Copy !req
359. Yes, we're here to play poker
if you can raise the $ 1000.Copy !req
360. Thousand doll... May I have that deck,
please? I'll give it right back.Copy !req
361. Just wanna take a look...Copy !req
362. I'll bet you $5000, even money,
top card's a picture.Copy !req
363. - Even money?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
364. - You've got yourself a bet.
- Okay. Turn it over.Copy !req
365. You owe me $5000.Copy !req
366. That was a lot of fun.Copy !req
367. Tell you what. Let's go again for 10.Copy !req
368. You don't have to.Copy !req
369. If you wanna quit now, it's okay.Copy !req
370. I'll give you the five grand.Copy !req
371. - Let's make it 20.
- Yes. Yes, I like that.Copy !req
372. Now we're having some fun.Copy !req
373. Twenty?Copy !req
374. You wanna bet $20,000 the top card
is not a picture? You got a deal.Copy !req
375. Okay, boy.Copy !req
376. Twenty thousand dollars. Turn it over.Copy !req
377. Turn it over, please.Copy !req
378. That's very interesting.Copy !req
379. Boy, is that interesting.Copy !req
380. Wanna double it again?Copy !req
381. Yes.Copy !req
382. Enough of this child's play.
I owe you $ 15,000.Copy !req
383. - Let's play poker.
- Okay.Copy !req
384. Here we go. That's a lot of fun.Copy !req
385. - I'm gonna get a brownie.
- A brownie, yeah.Copy !req
386. Sorry.Copy !req
387. We'll have to call the Guinness Book
about your friend Charlie.Copy !req
388. Now what?Copy !req
389. He's taking the longest piss
in recorded freaking history.Copy !req
390. Oh.Copy !req
391. There's a lady at table 16
who's arrived late.Copy !req
392. - I suggest you welcome her.
- Okay, where's table 16?Copy !req
393. Over there.Copy !req
394. What a lovely room.Copy !req
395. Oh, that lady...Copy !req
396. - Hi there. Excuse me.
- Nice to see you're still on board.Copy !req
397. Thank you. I just wondered
if you'd care to dance.Copy !req
398. Actually, I've seen you move.Copy !req
399. How do I know you won't trip...Copy !req
400. - ... and drag me overboard?
- You don't.Copy !req
401. But I swim even better than I dance.Copy !req
402. - Go for it, Mom.
- I promise I won't bite.Copy !req
403. Here goes nothing.Copy !req
404. I haven't danced in a long time.Copy !req
405. Slow, slow, quick, quick.Copy !req
406. Slow, slow, quick, quick.
Slow, slow, quick, quick.Copy !req
407. Don't look down. Look at me.Copy !req
408. Honey, tell me I did the right thing
by bringing Mom along.Copy !req
409. You did the right thing.Copy !req
410. Now let's go sneak inside
one of those lifeboats.Copy !req
411. You and whoever you used to dance
with must have been great together.Copy !req
412. Now, promenade.
Yeah, that would be Suzie and me.Copy !req
413. We danced all night at our wedding, and
it's like we never stopped for 46 years.Copy !req
414. - What a lovely image.
- Well, thank you.Copy !req
415. Now tell me all about you. Everything.Copy !req
416. - Everything?
- Sure.Copy !req
417. It's only a 10-day cruise.Copy !req
418. Yeah, well, give me the
Reader's Digest version, you know?Copy !req
419. Okay.Copy !req
420. - I live in New York.
- Yeah.Copy !req
421. - I was a book editor at Doubleday.
- Ooh.Copy !req
422. - Mother of two.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
423. Recent widow of one...Copy !req
424. and I was shanghaied here
by newlyweds.Copy !req
425. - Oh.
- The bride is my daughter.Copy !req
426. - Oh, I'm sure that she meant well.
- I'm sure.Copy !req
427. Are you having any fun?Copy !req
428. - I don't know yet.
- Oh. What do you know?Copy !req
429. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
430. - That was fun.
- Yeah.Copy !req
431. Doctor...?Copy !req
432. - Oh. Sullivan. Call me Herb.
- Vivian.Copy !req
433. I could use a little fresh air.Copy !req
434. Join me?Copy !req
435. - Well, I'd love to...
- I promise I won't bite.Copy !req
436. You know something? I'm going along
with you, in case you change your mind.Copy !req
437. Are you getting enough zeros in there?Copy !req
438. Eighteen thousand.Copy !req
439. Thank you.Copy !req
440. Enjoying the company
of a stunning lady...Copy !req
441. is all I wish to take away
from this table, sir.Copy !req
442. Mere confetti.Copy !req
443. Confetti, sir.Copy !req
444. Excuse me.Copy !req
445. I once heard that
if a whale loses its mate...Copy !req
446. it never takes another.Copy !req
447. Do you suppose that
could really happen?Copy !req
448. I mean, I haven't spoken to
a lot of whales lately...Copy !req
449. but hell, if it was perfect
the first time, then...Copy !req
450. My feelings... My feelings exactly.Copy !req
451. Better not fall on our heads.Copy !req
452. No. That's 50-gauge cable.Copy !req
453. Hell, that could hold a couple of
elephants playing patty-cake.Copy !req
454. Either you know your elephants,
or you know your cable.Copy !req
455. - I was a swabbie. Pacific area.
- Really?Copy !req
456. Yeah.Copy !req
457. - You ever have to get in one of those?
- No, ma'am. Thank God.Copy !req
458. Matowski did, though.Copy !req
459. - Who?
- Ensign Myron Matowski.Copy !req
460. See, he was nuts about this Filipino girl,
and her parents objected.Copy !req
461. They put her in a boat
to send her to another island.Copy !req
462. Matowski hijacks one
of these lifeboats...Copy !req
463. gets in there. Out he goes.
Sends up a flare.Copy !req
464. He damn near started a naval battle.Copy !req
465. - She see the flare?
- You kidding?Copy !req
466. Last I heard, they were working
on their sixth grandchild...Copy !req
467. and she had her own brand
of applesauce.Copy !req
468. So tell me.Copy !req
469. How does a swabbie
become a doctor?Copy !req
470. A what?Copy !req
471. Yeah. I wanted to explain that to you.Copy !req
472. - Oh, you don't have to explain.
- No, I wanted to explain.Copy !req
473. Well, would you like to walk me
to my cabin?Copy !req
474. Yeah, I would, but I ca... I can't.Copy !req
475. - I can take a hint.
- No, what hint?Copy !req
476. I promised a couple of chest butchers
that I'd have a brandy with them.Copy !req
477. Right.Copy !req
478. Chest butchers?Copy !req
479. What the hell kind of a moron
are you?Copy !req
480. Now, why would you go
and do something like that?Copy !req
481. To impress you.Copy !req
482. Oh. Oh, well, keep it up.
This might work.Copy !req
483. Mr. Gordon.Copy !req
484. What you do, like samurai.
Great style.Copy !req
485. You have most terrible accent.
Where you learn Japanese?Copy !req
486. - Okinawa.
- Oh.Copy !req
487. It's a small sushi joint
on the Sunset Strip.Copy !req
488. Where were you?Copy !req
489. - A passenger requested an escort, sir.
- Fraternizing.Copy !req
490. Nobody fratted anybody.
All we did was... Oh, my God.Copy !req
491. Coming through, please.
Injured man here. Injury.Copy !req
492. If it isn't the phantom
of the ballroom.Copy !req
493. I ought to sue you guys.Copy !req
494. Everything around here is so
slippery and wet.Copy !req
495. - It's an ocean liner.
- I may never dance again.Copy !req
496. Again... I haven't seen you dance yet.Copy !req
497. Fortunately for you,
I found the infirmary.Copy !req
498. The infirmary is closed at this hour.Copy !req
499. - That's what I found out.
- Look...Copy !req
500. Let me... Let me speak candidly,
gentlemen.Copy !req
501. I'm this close to a promotion that would
make me vice president of entertainment.Copy !req
502. Wow.Copy !req
503. I intend to get that job
by showing how well...Copy !req
504. I can keep two old dickheads
like you in line.Copy !req
505. - Oh, now listen.
- No, you listen.Copy !req
506. Don't mess with me.
I'm your worst nightmare.Copy !req
507. A song and dance man
raised on a military base.Copy !req
508. Dismissed.Copy !req
509. You seem to be annoyed with me,
Herbie.Copy !req
510. Tell me if I'm wrong.Copy !req
511. And what's this about you
leaving the dance floor?Copy !req
512. None of your business.Copy !req
513. None of my business.
How do you like that?Copy !req
514. - Why are you sterilizing your trousers?
- I'm steaming them.Copy !req
515. What are you gonna do?
Eat them with garlic butter?Copy !req
516. It takes the wrinkles out,
you imbecile.Copy !req
517. A man is steaming his pants at midnight,
it generally means there's a broad.Copy !req
518. No broad.Copy !req
519. Well, that's too bad because I got
one lined up. Rich, Texas-rich...Copy !req
520. with an ass so beautiful it's a shame
she has to sit down on it.Copy !req
521. Will you do me a favor
and knock that stuff off?Copy !req
522. I'm sorry. I forgot you were cooking.Copy !req
523. Now that you got this girl,
when will she find out you're not...Copy !req
524. who she thought you were?
- By then she'll be in love.Copy !req
525. - In love with a lie.
- Nobody's perfect.Copy !req
526. I think a man should tell a woman
the truth before she falls in love.Copy !req
527. - Otherwise, how do you know it's real?
- What's real is if I play my cards right...Copy !req
528. I'll wind up on easy street.Copy !req
529. Once I'm there,
I'm inviting you over every Sunday.Copy !req
530. - I don't want anything to do with this.
- Okay, then don't come over.Copy !req
531. - She thinks I'm a doctor.
- Who?Copy !req
532. Nobody.Copy !req
533. You met a broad.Copy !req
534. You're crazy. Years of insanity
have made you crazy.Copy !req
535. - Do I look crippled or not.
- Yeah, you look crippled, up here.Copy !req
536. Oh, cut it out.Copy !req
537. Most of you will work
the dance class from 10 to 11...Copy !req
538. and the wine and cheese tasting
from 12 to 1.Copy !req
539. Please use moderation.Copy !req
540. The last thing I need is flatulating hosts
staggering about the ship.Copy !req
541. I bet his father was cruise director
on the Bismarck.Copy !req
542. Think of yourselves as butterflies,
gentlemen...Copy !req
543. and our guests as flowers.Copy !req
544. You job is to pollinate the flowers
with hospitality.Copy !req
545. This guy's been at sea too long.Copy !req
546. And if you screw up, I am personally
going to see to it...Copy !req
547. that you are removed from the ship
and charged the full passage...Copy !req
548. of $5462.51,
as indicated in your contracts.Copy !req
549. What the hell is the...? Five thousand?
Five thousand? You told me 2000.Copy !req
550. As for you, Mr. Gordon, Dr. Johanson
will see you at 1100 hours, sharp.Copy !req
551. I don't think that's necessary, sir.
You see, the foot just needs a little rest.Copy !req
552. You will remain off your injured foot...Copy !req
553. until Dr. Johanson says otherwise.
Are we clear?Copy !req
554. - Yes, sir, clear. Extremely clear, sir.
- Brilliant.Copy !req
555. Dismissed.Copy !req
556. All passengers
disembarking at Playa del Carmen...Copy !req
557. please report
to tender deck, midship.Copy !req
558. Those of you attending the festival
must board the fiesta bus at 4:10.Copy !req
559. Well, look who's here.Copy !req
560. - Flowers. No. I'll bet they're for me.
- Who else would they be for?Copy !req
561. Save it, Hoss.Copy !req
562. - Come on in.
- Thank you.Copy !req
563. Thank you very much.
Sure appreciate it.Copy !req
564. You know, the first day you was in here
sniffing around like a yard dog...Copy !req
565. - ... I knew you'd be back.
- Ma, for the love of Pete!Copy !req
566. - Oh, who's Pete? My competition?
- That's right.Copy !req
567. And guess who I'm rooting for.Copy !req
568. Oh, Charlie.Copy !req
569. Oh, it's so nice to see you.Copy !req
570. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
571. - Are these for me?
- No.Copy !req
572. - No?
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
573. Oh. They're just beautiful.Copy !req
574. I didn't want to be too showy.Copy !req
575. Oh, well. Yours are very tasteful.Copy !req
576. - Thank you, Charlie.
- Thank you.Copy !req
577. I have to get dressed.
Why don't you talk to Ma.Copy !req
578. - Excuse me.
- Okay.Copy !req
579. I want you to behave yourself,
Charlie.Copy !req
580. You see, I saw the way you were staring
at my daughter's chest.Copy !req
581. - Oh, I used to be a cardiologist.
- Really?Copy !req
582. I'm almost ready. Charlie, would you
like to walk with me?Copy !req
583. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
584. - Ma, we'll see you later.
- Have fun.Copy !req
585. I'll try to find a shot glass
for those flowers.Copy !req
586. - She's darling, isn't she?
- That's Mom.Copy !req
587. - There you are.
- Hello.Copy !req
588. We must hurry. The bus is leaving
in 10 minutes.Copy !req
589. - Hello there, sport.
- Hello.Copy !req
590. Charlie, why don't you come
with us.Copy !req
591. Oh, unfortunately,
I'm told that the tour is full.Copy !req
592. That's...Copy !req
593. About those flowers. Thank you. They're
beautiful. I love them. See you later?Copy !req
594. - Have a good day, Gordo.
- Ta-ta.Copy !req
595. There's something about
that man I don't like. Don't you agree?Copy !req
596. That you don't like him?
I'd agree with that.Copy !req
597. What, do they call this dancing?
I did this in line at the A&P.Copy !req
598. Well, the view's right.Copy !req
599. - I used to have an ass like that.
- Come on, guys. Pay attention.Copy !req
600. - Would you mind standing back, please?
- Let me show you how it's done, okay?Copy !req
601. Attention. Ship to shore call.
Mr. Cullen Carswell.Copy !req
602. That's you. That sounds exciting.Copy !req
603. - I'll try to wrap it up quickly.
- I'll go ahead and save you a seat.Copy !req
604. All right. Ship to shore for Carswell.Copy !req
605. Yes. It's an overseas call
from Mr. Donald Trump.Copy !req
606. - He's calling from Zürich. It's urgent.
- There a phone with privacy?Copy !req
607. Take it at the second booth,
on your right.Copy !req
608. Thank you.Copy !req
609. This is Cullen Carswell.
I'll take my call now.Copy !req
610. - One moment, sir.
- Hello?Copy !req
611. - Hello. Mr. Carswell? Hello?
- Who is this?Copy !req
612. This is the international operator.Copy !req
613. I have momentarily lost your congestion.
Please hold for Mr. Trump.Copy !req
614. Yes. I'll hold, but please hurry.Copy !req
615. - Are you holding, sir?
- Yes, yes, I'm holding.Copy !req
616. - Is this Mr. Carsmell?
- Carswell.Copy !req
617. Yeah, please hold. Don't go away.Copy !req
618. Passengers traveling to the festival
must board the fiesta bus...Copy !req
619. at wharf 10 for immediate departure.
This it the last...Copy !req
620. Hey.Copy !req
621. I figured I'd see if there were any
no-shows. Where's your friend?Copy !req
622. You just don't give up, do you?Copy !req
623. Oh, look at those. Don't you just
love horses, Charlie?Copy !req
624. - Only when they win.
- Ah!Copy !req
625. You've never done any real gambling.Copy !req
626. - For how much?
- Not money.Copy !req
627. I'm talking about life. Gambling.Copy !req
628. You've never been married,
have you?Copy !req
629. - In what sense?
- I knew it. I knew it.Copy !req
630. I'm waiting for my sexual prime.Copy !req
631. And just when do you think
that's gonna happen?Copy !req
632. In about 5 minutes.Copy !req
633. That's it, get the hips going.Copy !req
634. Get that Cuban motion going.Copy !req
635. Ladies under. Very nice.
Good. Come back around.Copy !req
636. - Mom, give me a break.
- Shelly, give me a break.Copy !req
637. I danced with the man one time.Copy !req
638. - You were glowing like Miss Arkansas.
- So I had fun.Copy !req
639. Herb's a wonderful dancer, but he's
a doctor and you know I hate doctors.Copy !req
640. - Now moving to the side.
Keep the hips going.Copy !req
641. There's a class. Let's go join.
It'll be fun.Copy !req
642. - Well...
- You love dancing.Copy !req
643. Come on.Copy !req
644. All right.Copy !req
645. - That's it.
- You are getting so good.Copy !req
646. Your turn, madame.Copy !req
647. Good. Excellent.Copy !req
648. Now try anything
that we practiced today. Okay.Copy !req
649. Good job, everybody.Copy !req
650. How about a wonderful hand
for our dance hosts?Copy !req
651. It says that it's a festival
of sacrifice...Copy !req
652. to purge themselves of evil
before the eclipse.Copy !req
653. - I'm excited. I've never seen an eclipse.
- Is that right?Copy !req
654. - I've seen one once.
- Really?Copy !req
655. Yeah, but I think the moon
got in the way.Copy !req
656. Yes!Copy !req
657. - Oh.
- Here we go. Here we go.Copy !req
658. Look how happy they are
that we're here.Copy !req
659. - What are you doing?
- I'm looking at this for a possible suit.Copy !req
660. - What are you doing?
I wanna dance with my friends.Copy !req
661. Come with me.Copy !req
662. Come with me, con permiso.Copy !req
663. - Watch out.
- You stay here. I'll be right back.Copy !req
664. - I gotta see a man about a dog.
- Take your time.Copy !req
665. Gil, I've been talking to the board
about hiring...Copy !req
666. - ... a vice president of entertainment.
- Interesting.Copy !req
667. Is there a way out of here
besides the door?Copy !req
668. Oh, yes. Si, si, si. Down the drain.Copy !req
669. Very funny, pal. Very funny.Copy !req
670. Listen, pal, I need to borrow
your mask for a few minutes.Copy !req
671. - Get lost, pops.
- Wait.Copy !req
672. I'll let you have this genuine Rolex.Copy !req
673. Please, mister.Copy !req
674. This ain't a Rolex. It says "Romex."Copy !req
675. You gonna make a federal case
out of one letter?Copy !req
676. They don't make Romexes anymore.Copy !req
677. - This is a collector's item.
- Beat it.Copy !req
678. - Oh, don't be ridiculous.
I haven't had a chimichanga in years.Copy !req
679. - Would you pardon me for one moment?
- What?Copy !req
680. - Nature, you know. Sorry.
- Oh.Copy !req
681. Pardon me. Pardon me.Copy !req
682. You wanna buy a Rolex?Copy !req
683. Coming through.Copy !req
684. What's going on here?Copy !req
685. Parrot coming through.
Parrot here. Parrot.Copy !req
686. Gil!Copy !req
687. Huh? Leave her alone for five seconds.Copy !req
688. I'm getting a little dizzy.Copy !req
689. Are you all right? Let me out of here.
Are you people insane?Copy !req
690. What are you doing with the bull?Copy !req
691. Holy...!Copy !req
692. Oh, my God. I'm the parrot!Copy !req
693. I see trouble.Copy !req
694. Hey, señor. Hey, pal.Copy !req
695. Gil, wait!Copy !req
696. All right, mister. I've got you.Copy !req
697. Oh, sorry. I thought you were...Copy !req
698. Oh, my God.Copy !req
699. - Let's go.
- Why are we going now?Copy !req
700. Now's the time to loot the shops.Copy !req
701. - Charlie, we're witnessing history.
- I've seen history. It stinks.Copy !req
702. Stop! There's a fire there!
Can't you see?Copy !req
703. My head's on fire! Help me!
Stop this cow instantly!Copy !req
704. Well, hello.Copy !req
705. Stuff works wonders for groin pain.
Cheers to you all.Copy !req
706. I've dug all over Guatemala
and all over Honduras.Copy !req
707. The whole culture is so interesting,
so fascinating...Copy !req
708. - Vivian.
- Herb, what a lovely surprise.Copy !req
709. I know what you're thinking.Copy !req
710. - This is my new friend, Sebastian.
- Hello.Copy !req
711. He just gave a lecture on the significance
of solar eclipses in Mayan mythology.Copy !req
712. Mayan mythology will tell you
that an eclipse isn't an eclipse at all...Copy !req
713. but rather a birth or an unveiling,
if you will, of a new sun, or a new life...Copy !req
714. Oh?Copy !req
715. - And a dance host on the side.
- I tried to explain this...Copy !req
716. Explain what? I think you did
your job very well.Copy !req
717. - Who is he?
- I don't know.Copy !req
718. - He looks familiar.
- Not to me.Copy !req
719. My husband was in the oil business
with my dad.Copy !req
720. Daddy trusted him.
I figured I could trust him.Copy !req
721. - So, what happened?
- Well, as it turned out...Copy !req
722. there were a lot of test wells
he was drilling on the side.Copy !req
723. - Should've had him neutered.
- I did.Copy !req
724. Except I used an attorney,
instead of a doctor.Copy !req
725. Lending a helping hand.
Thank you, chappies.Copy !req
726. - Oh, what's the matter?
- Ah.Copy !req
727. - Are you all right?
- Old football injury.Copy !req
728. - College?
- No, professional.Copy !req
729. The Jets blew a 30-point lead and I tried
to throw my TV set out the window.Copy !req
730. - You're in pain. I'll get help.
- No.Copy !req
731. What are you doing?Copy !req
732. I wanna hear about
your ex-husband.Copy !req
733. What?Copy !req
734. What seems to be the trouble?Copy !req
735. His back went out,
and I think he needs some help.Copy !req
736. Would you help me get him
on a deck chair?Copy !req
737. God bless you, sir,
whosoever you may be.Copy !req
738. Go in this direction...Copy !req
739. What are you doing?Copy !req
740. I have to get the wind from the east.Copy !req
741. Now, fortunately, I'm a retired doctor.
Aren't we lucky?Copy !req
742. And chiropractics is my specialty.
Are you his wife?Copy !req
743. - Oh. I'm his friend.
- Just a friend. Tell me where the pain is.Copy !req
744. - It's okay. It's better now.
- We need a little adjustment.Copy !req
745. - I don't need an adjustment.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
746. - A problem in the lumbar region.
- My lumbar is all right.Copy !req
747. Don't worry about that leg.Copy !req
748. Can you feel anything?Copy !req
749. - That should relieve some tension.
- What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
750. Just breathe normally.
Move your arm.Copy !req
751. - Ah! Ah!
- I haven't done anything yet.Copy !req
752. - Do you feel better, my friend?
- I'm gonna get you...Copy !req
753. What, a present? Don't be silly?Copy !req
754. Just to lighten the suffering of my fellow
human beings is reward enough for me.Copy !req
755. - Are you all right?
- Yeah. I'm fine.Copy !req
756. Why don't you go.
I'll just rest up here a little while.Copy !req
757. - I just can't leave you like this.
- Sure you can.Copy !req
758. - You sure?
- Yeah. Go on.Copy !req
759. I was gonna meet some friends
in the casino. I'll do that.Copy !req
760. Besides, I like lying here on the couch.
It's the puppy dog in me.Copy !req
761. I'll see you later.Copy !req
762. See you later. Bye.Copy !req
763. Must be "the puppy dog in me."
You are in over your head, kid.Copy !req
764. - What's that mean?
- I saw the way you looked at her.Copy !req
765. She's a beautiful woman with money.
How should I look at her?Copy !req
766. - I think you care about her.
- Give me a break, will you?Copy !req
767. Oh, boy. I'm gonna sue you
for malpractice.Copy !req
768. I saved your ass, is what I did.Copy !req
769. Gil, baby.Copy !req
770. - I was wondering...
- Oh, shut up!Copy !req
771. Tonight you will dance every dance.Copy !req
772. You will be charming, attentive
and light of foot...Copy !req
773. - ... and I will be watching.
- Yes, sir!Copy !req
774. Have Dr. Johanson look at that eye,
Sullivan.Copy !req
775. Herbie, we've been pals
for such a long time. Give me a break.Copy !req
776. The answer is no.Copy !req
777. If I don't dance, they'll throw me off
the ship.Copy !req
778. I'll teach you how to swim,
not how to dance.Copy !req
779. Herbie, please. Please, I beg you,
open up your heart.Copy !req
780. Will you knock it off?Copy !req
781. Open your heart to a sad,
frightened old man.Copy !req
782. Oh...Copy !req
783. Slow, slow, quick, quick.Copy !req
784. Slow, slow, quick, quick.
There you go.Copy !req
785. Slow... Slow, slow, quick, quick.Copy !req
786. You're very much like a crane.Copy !req
787. Slow, slow, quick, quick. Go ahead.Copy !req
788. Slow, slow, quick... Oh, God.Copy !req
789. Okay, try it left, right...Copy !req
790. together.Copy !req
791. Uh-huh. Bingo. Left...Copy !req
792. right, together.Copy !req
793. Very strange. Okay, this is
the grapevine.Copy !req
794. Cross, behind, together.Copy !req
795. Slow, slow, quick, quick.Copy !req
796. One, two, three, cha-cha.
One, two, three, cha-cha.Copy !req
797. One, two, three, cha-cha.
One, two, three, cha-cha.Copy !req
798. One, two, three, cha-cha.
One...Copy !req
799. Okay, now wait a minute. Here we...
Let's try...Copy !req
800. One, two, three, cha-cha.
One, two, three, cha-cha.Copy !req
801. One, two... That's very...Copy !req
802. What the hell is that?Copy !req
803. Guys do this all the time on the streets,
and people throw money at them.Copy !req
804. You're not getting a nickel out of me.Copy !req
805. Wait a minute. This is wrong.
You're leading.Copy !req
806. I'm supposed to lead. I'm a man.Copy !req
807. - Kiss me.
- All right, you lead.Copy !req
808. Gentlemen, the...Copy !req
809. No. No, no, no.Copy !req
810. - See, he's...
- It's my first time.Copy !req
811. - Oh.
- Dancing, that is.Copy !req
812. See, yeah, we're just friends, you know.
Good pals. Buddies.Copy !req
813. - Yes, of course.
- Don't ask, don't tell.Copy !req
814. - Is that a waiter's jacket?
- How can you tell?Copy !req
815. You've got stains all over the sleeve
and parsley down your back.Copy !req
816. - It fits like a pup tent.
- Are you kidding?Copy !req
817. Good evening, gentlemen.
Time to face the music, eh, Charlie?Copy !req
818. Let's face.Copy !req
819. Once again, your host...Copy !req
820. the very talented Mr. Gil Godwyn.Copy !req
821. Ladies and gentlemen, here we are,
under the stars...Copy !req
822. in the moonlight,
out on the open sea.Copy !req
823. Let's get ready to rumba.Copy !req
824. We're going to rumba.Copy !req
825. He's demented.Copy !req
826. Hey, you're on, champ.Copy !req
827. Care to dance, madam?Copy !req
828. Yes. Yes, I'd love to.Copy !req
829. Don't slouch.Copy !req
830. Have you been hosting for long?Copy !req
831. This is my 23rd run, ma'am.Copy !req
832. I started out giving ballroom
exhibitions.Copy !req
833. Shorten your steps.Copy !req
834. You're doing very well,
madam, but don't rush it.Copy !req
835. You see, the rumba is more of a walk
than a dance.Copy !req
836. Oh.Copy !req
837. - Oh, shit.
- Beg your pardon?Copy !req
838. Hit. This song was a big hit.Copy !req
839. What does that have to do
with the rumba?Copy !req
840. - Absolutely nothing.
- Oh.Copy !req
841. You said walk.Copy !req
842. It's a fast walk.Copy !req
843. Ow!Copy !req
844. Oh, God.Copy !req
845. - What do you call this step?
- This is the Brazilian Creep.Copy !req
846. In Brazil, of course, it's just called
"the Creep."Copy !req
847. What are you doing?Copy !req
848. Oh. Whoa...Copy !req
849. - Oh!
- Ow!Copy !req
850. - Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry.
- No, it's our fault.Copy !req
851. Excuse me.Copy !req
852. Thank you.Copy !req
853. Do you have any idea whom you've just
assaulted on the dance floor?Copy !req
854. - Ms. Carruthers, I don't know what...
- I feel ravaged. Thank you.Copy !req
855. I'm Ellen Carruthers.Copy !req
856. Oh. You're the dame that owns
this little boat.Copy !req
857. Excuse me, duty calls.Copy !req
858. All over Honduras, you wouldn't believe
what happened.Copy !req
859. - There were 40,000 people...
- So...Copy !req
860. It's the broad that stole
our plane seats.Copy !req
861. - That broad was an editor at Doubleday.
- Who cares?Copy !req
862. - All I was was a clerk at Gimbels.
- And Secretariat was just a horse.Copy !req
863. - Go on, ask her to dance.
- It's too late, Charlie.Copy !req
864. There's no such thing as too late.
That's why they invented death.Copy !req
865. Dance.Copy !req
866. - His books were burned...
- You're kidding.Copy !req
867. by the Inquisition.
They were burned.Copy !req
868. So now, the Aztecs will argue
that they invented the ladle.Copy !req
869. But ancient drawings show
that the Mayans...Copy !req
870. were using a large perforated
scooping utensil.Copy !req
871. Excuse me. I'm gonna go drop
the anchor on my toe.Copy !req
872. - I'll go with you.
- You're leaving?Copy !req
873. Anyway, what was important is when
I shone the light in the cave...Copy !req
874. there it was on the wall, the ladle,
which proved, beyond reasonable doubt...Copy !req
875. Excuse me. I would really be very
honored if you would care to join me.Copy !req
876. I've already danced this dance.Copy !req
877. Yes, I was hoping you might want
to try it again.Copy !req
878. You know, an archeologist in Reykjavik
claims the Incas did a form of the Hustle.Copy !req
879. - What?
- You never heard of that?Copy !req
880. You win.Copy !req
881. Excuse us.Copy !req
882. - You dance much better than you lie.
- Well, lying is new to me...Copy !req
883. but I've been dancing
most of my life.Copy !req
884. Did you start dancing before
or after medical school?Copy !req
885. You're a funny lady.Copy !req
886. I'm also a very serious lady,
especially when I'm lied to.Copy !req
887. Hey, I didn't lie to you. My friend did.Copy !req
888. Well, you could have told me
the truth.Copy !req
889. - Well, maybe I was afraid.
- Afraid of what?Copy !req
890. Well, that you would laugh
or be disappointed.Copy !req
891. - About what?
- I don't know.Copy !req
892. - Well, tell me now.
- Tell you what?Copy !req
893. Try the truth.Copy !req
894. The truth is, I was just a clerk
at Gimbels for 35 years...Copy !req
895. till they damn went
out of business.Copy !req
896. And I got roped into this stupid dance
host thing by that lunatic over there.Copy !req
897. Just...Copy !req
898. What happened?Copy !req
899. - Wait a second.
- So I can make a fool of myself again?Copy !req
900. I didn't think I'd ever kiss
anybody that way again.Copy !req
901. Neither did I.Copy !req
902. - I need to step outside.
- We are outside.Copy !req
903. I knew that.Copy !req
904. But won't you get in trouble, I mean...Copy !req
905. if someone should see us like this?Copy !req
906. - They could throw me overboard.
- I'd miss you.Copy !req
907. Yeah?Copy !req
908. Why don't we watch the eclipse
together tomorrow.Copy !req
909. - All right.
- We could go in separate buses...Copy !req
910. to Chichén Itzá and meet at a café.Copy !req
911. - What café?
- It's a town. There must be a café.Copy !req
912. I'll find it and you'll find me.Copy !req
913. - It's been my pleasure, ma'am.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
914. Hey, Gil! I loved the number.Copy !req
915. Thank you.Copy !req
916. There are almost a dozen
in the fleet now.Copy !req
917. Madam.Copy !req
918. - Well, hello there.
- Hello. How do you do?Copy !req
919. - Mr. Godwyn asked me to give you this.
- Oh, thank you.Copy !req
920. Would you excuse me, please?Copy !req
921. How charming you look tonight.Copy !req
922. Oh, Mr. Godwyn.Copy !req
923. Why aren't you dancing?Copy !req
924. Because Mrs. Carruthers...Copy !req
925. asked me to give you a message.Copy !req
926. - Really?
- Yes. I have a feeling, sir...Copy !req
927. that you're going to get that
promotion you've been looking for.Copy !req
928. - Did she say that?
- She said she wants you in her room...Copy !req
929. ASPCA.Copy !req
930. ASAP.Copy !req
931. Her room? Now?Copy !req
932. Her exact words were...Copy !req
933. - I don't remember them offhand, but...
- Come on, man.Copy !req
934. "If not sooner."Copy !req
935. - Get on that dance floor.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
936. - Hi there.
- Yes.Copy !req
937. - Gotta deliver Godwyn's shirts.
- You need the key?Copy !req
938. I'm not gonna slip them under
the door. They'll get wrinkled.Copy !req
939. - Ah. Hello, hello, hello.
- Oh, hello.Copy !req
940. You sure made a fast recovery.Copy !req
941. Nothing like being young.Copy !req
942. Why do you look at me
as though I were trouble?Copy !req
943. - I like trouble.
- I like you too.Copy !req
944. - How about a game of poker?
- Okay. But I gotta warn you, Carswell...Copy !req
945. this time, I'm not tearing up
any of your checks.Copy !req
946. I think you're a phony, Chuck.Copy !req
947. - And I'm going to prove it.
- Oh, boy.Copy !req
948. Nice to see you relaxing tonight,
Carswell.Copy !req
949. - I beg your pardon.
- Take a hike. Hi.Copy !req
950. - To what do I owe this pleasure?
- Two vodka stingers and I lost my key.Copy !req
951. - Oh.
- How about you?Copy !req
952. I work here.Copy !req
953. You do? Uh... Do you do CPR?Copy !req
954. How does it go?Copy !req
955. It's open.Copy !req
956. Mrs. Carruthers?Copy !req
957. Ellen. A bit of bubbly?Copy !req
958. Ace, queen bets.Copy !req
959. I will check.Copy !req
960. Check. Check.Copy !req
961. I check.Copy !req
962. I bet 20 grand.Copy !req
963. Hmm...Copy !req
964. Too rich for my blood.Copy !req
965. I fold.Copy !req
966. Hmm.Copy !req
967. - How much you bet?
- Twenty thousand.Copy !req
968. - Twenty thousand dollars.
- Right.Copy !req
969. Call.Copy !req
970. Oh!Copy !req
971. - Sorry.
- Are you all right?Copy !req
972. - Yes, of course I'm all right.
- Does anyone have a napkin?Copy !req
973. Card in sleeve. He's a cheat.Copy !req
974. - You were right.
- Pretty sloppy, Carswell.Copy !req
975. I'm gonna overlook this...Copy !req
976. - ... because you are an asshole.
- Monsieur Gordon is right.Copy !req
977. You are an asshole.Copy !req
978. I've never done anything
like this before.Copy !req
979. - You'll have to leave the casino.
- Gentlemen, please believe me.Copy !req
980. It doesn't matter what we believe,
does it, Carswell?Copy !req
981. Tra-la.Copy !req
982. All right. This hand is dead.
Everybody will get their money back.Copy !req
983. Say we go someplace
quiet for a nightcap?Copy !req
984. - "Someplace quiet."
- Yeah.Copy !req
985. Right. Like your room, right?Copy !req
986. - Wonderful suggestion.
- No.Copy !req
987. No, that wasn't my suggestion.Copy !req
988. - Here you go.
- Thank you.Copy !req
989. Oh, this is a nice suite, Charlie.Copy !req
990. Charlie, about your cologne.Copy !req
991. - Oh, it's not cologne. It's after-shave.
- Oh.Copy !req
992. You ever thought of growing a beard?Copy !req
993. No, not really.Copy !req
994. Charlie.Copy !req
995. Oh, Charlie.Copy !req
996. Good morning.Copy !req
997. It should be another day
of calm seas and smooth sailing.Copy !req
998. If you are in a hurry to meet
your shore tour for the eclipse...Copy !req
999. we feature an express
continental breakfast in the lido.Copy !req
1000. That's above and beyond
the call of duty.Copy !req
1001. Guy should make captain for that.Copy !req
1002. Oh... Oh, yes.Copy !req
1003. Oh.Copy !req
1004. Armor All?Copy !req
1005. I really had a good time last night.
I really enjoyed myself.Copy !req
1006. - I... I just...
- Shh.Copy !req
1007. You don't have to.Copy !req
1008. Oh. What happened to
the good-looking one?Copy !req
1009. This is the good-looking one, Ma.
See you later.Copy !req
1010. Race you around the ship, pal.Copy !req
1011. Bravo! Bravissimo! Bravo!Copy !req
1012. After a lifetime of wandering
through the deserts of humanity...Copy !req
1013. I find in you my oasis.Copy !req
1014. That's terrible.Copy !req
1015. Doctors say I have only
a few more months.Copy !req
1016. Let's be married before one
more grain of sand flows...Copy !req
1017. through the hourglass of mortality.Copy !req
1018. You barely know this woman.Copy !req
1019. Liz, I would be honored
if you took my last name...Copy !req
1020. and put it on your bank account.Copy !req
1021. That's the one.Copy !req
1022. All passengers going ashore
to view the eclipse...Copy !req
1023. please remember to wear
protective eyewear.Copy !req
1024. - The 1 -ounce bottle is beautiful.
- I'll take it.Copy !req
1025. Okay.Copy !req
1026. I finally figured it out,
seeing you in the gift shop.Copy !req
1027. Back at St. Vincent's, I was always
running into you in the gift shop.Copy !req
1028. St. Vincent...Copy !req
1029. Oh, my God! It's Nurse Collins.Copy !req
1030. I can't believe that
I didn't recognize you!Copy !req
1031. It's probably not one of
your better memories.Copy !req
1032. Oh, no. Come on.
Suzie was nuts about you.Copy !req
1033. - Feeling was mutual.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1034. You were a complete pain in the butt.Copy !req
1035. Yeah.Copy !req
1036. Listen, I've got exactly 20 minutes.
How about a cup of coffee?Copy !req
1037. Love it.Copy !req
1038. to view the eclipse,
report to tender deck midship.Copy !req
1039. Even towards the end,
there were moments when...Copy !req
1040. When we both felt...Copy !req
1041. that we weren't gonna
let this thing beat us.Copy !req
1042. Yeah. You guys were
one of those couples.Copy !req
1043. I remember on the last night.
There's so much medication...Copy !req
1044. who knows whether
they understand...Copy !req
1045. but I remember you leaning
right down next to her ear...Copy !req
1046. telling her you'd be in love with her
always and forever.Copy !req
1047. She just had this...Copy !req
1048. I don't know.Copy !req
1049. It was like a light in her eyes.Copy !req
1050. You knew, she knew.Copy !req
1051. I shouldn't be saying this.Copy !req
1052. Oh, no, no. It's nice. Really.Copy !req
1053. It's fine.Copy !req
1054. - Weren't you going ashore?
- Huh?Copy !req
1055. - The eclipse. I don't wanna miss it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1056. Listen.Copy !req
1057. It was great seeing you.Copy !req
1058. - You're really very, very nice.
- You too.Copy !req
1059. Thank you.Copy !req
1060. The last tender for shore
departs in five minutes.Copy !req
1061. Please remember that all passengers
must return to ship by 4:30.Copy !req
1062. Liz, life drifts away...Copy !req
1063. like grains of sand
through an hourglass.Copy !req
1064. Charlie, I'm sorry. I just don't get
what you're trying to say to me.Copy !req
1065. - Liz.
- Yeah?Copy !req
1066. Even though we've only known
each other a short time...Copy !req
1067. That's true. It's been short.Copy !req
1068. Liz, after a lifetime...Copy !req
1069. of going through
a desert of humanity...Copy !req
1070. Charlie. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, look!Copy !req
1071. Look, look, Charlie.Copy !req
1072. It's happening, we're here to see it.Copy !req
1073. Even though... Will you listen
to me for a minute?Copy !req
1074. Even though we're like two ships
passing through the night...Copy !req
1075. Why don't we get married, Charlie.Copy !req
1076. Good idea.Copy !req
1077. Liz, will you marry me?Copy !req
1078. - Is that a yes?
- Yeah, it's a yes.Copy !req
1079. - Oh.
- I think we're missing it, sweetheart.Copy !req
1080. Always and forever, kiddo.Copy !req
1081. - Oh, no.
- Maybe he's in the john.Copy !req
1082. Mom?Copy !req
1083. - Hi! How'd it go?
- Great. We got it all on video.Copy !req
1084. Fine. I won't speak
for the rest of our marriage.Copy !req
1085. Mom, how are you?Copy !req
1086. I'm going home.Copy !req
1087. Then we're going with you.Copy !req
1088. No, it's your anniversary.Copy !req
1089. - Celebrate it.
- Mom. Really.Copy !req
1090. Don't.Copy !req
1091. I wanna take care of myself.Copy !req
1092. Do you understand?Copy !req
1093. I need to take care of myself.Copy !req
1094. How'd it go with Daddy Warbucks?Copy !req
1095. We're getting married.Copy !req
1096. Hot damn!Copy !req
1097. I knew we'd snag one of them.Copy !req
1098. Now, here's what we're gonna do:Copy !req
1099. We can plan it...Copy !req
1100. - What the hell's the matter with you?
- Nothing.Copy !req
1101. Hallelujah.Copy !req
1102. I'm telling you, Liz, we are in clover.Copy !req
1103. - What do you figure he's worth?
- I don't know. I don't care.Copy !req
1104. Well, I don't know...Copy !req
1105. but I do care.
We have spent our last two dimes...Copy !req
1106. - ... on this highfalutin stateroom.
- Ma.Copy !req
1107. - I like him.
- Good for you.Copy !req
1108. He's so sweet...Copy !req
1109. and he's a decent man.Copy !req
1110. - Terrific.
- And he makes me laugh.Copy !req
1111. You not only snagged
yourself a millionaire...Copy !req
1112. you're gonna have laughs
into the bargain.Copy !req
1113. Yeah.Copy !req
1114. - The last tender for shore
departs in five minutes.Copy !req
1115. Please remember that all passengers
must return to ship by 4:30.Copy !req
1116. We will be raising the anchor at 5 p.m.
And setting sail for Cozumel.Copy !req
1117. Those passengers remaining on board
are encouraged...Copy !req
1118. - He probably changed his mind.
- Oh, Mom.Copy !req
1119. - Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi.Copy !req
1120. Thank you.Copy !req
1121. Hello...Copy !req
1122. - ... Mother.
- Charlie, don't overshoot the runway.Copy !req
1123. I love family.Copy !req
1124. We better get going.Copy !req
1125. It's Mr. Gordon. Don't let this one
get away, now. He's a good one.Copy !req
1126. Mrs. Carruthers, Gil Godwyn,
this is Mavis and Liz LaDreche.Copy !req
1127. - LaBreche.
- LaBreche.Copy !req
1128. - Hi, Mavis.
- That's a familiar cologne, Mr. Gordon.Copy !req
1129. Thank you. You can pick it up anywhere.Copy !req
1130. I picked some up this morning
on my pillow.Copy !req
1131. This guy's hilarious.Copy !req
1132. Have you danced with Mr. Gordon?Copy !req
1133. - No, I'm looking forward to it.
- See you...Copy !req
1134. with the rest of the dance hosts.Copy !req
1135. With the rest of the what?Copy !req
1136. He's always kidding around.
He thinks I should be a dance host.Copy !req
1137. I'm confused. You told me that
you were in mergers and acquisitions.Copy !req
1138. Well, he is.Copy !req
1139. His job is to acquire a partner
and merge with her on the dance floor.Copy !req
1140. Isn't that right, Gordon?Copy !req
1141. Liz, I was gonna mention this to you.Copy !req
1142. That would've been a good idea.Copy !req
1143. You see... Wait a minute, Liz.
Come back! Let me explain!Copy !req
1144. Where are you going, Mother?Copy !req
1145. I hate losers.Copy !req
1146. - Thanks a lot, pal.
- Gil.Copy !req
1147. - What happened?
- Where's your mother?Copy !req
1148. - She's not coming back on board.
- She's going home.Copy !req
1149. - Where's my friend?
- Question of the day.Copy !req
1150. - What are you doing up here?
- Oh, hi.Copy !req
1151. Charlie, I'm...Copy !req
1152. I still love Suzie.
It seems to present a problem.Copy !req
1153. It's only a problem if you want it to be.Copy !req
1154. - Don't start with me, huh?
- Go on after Vivian. Go now.Copy !req
1155. - I hardly know her.
- You know her. You're crazy about her.Copy !req
1156. Question is, have you got
the balls to do anything?Copy !req
1157. - Well, I'm just not ready yet.
- Then get ready.Copy !req
1158. You're here, living, breathing.
You got a choice.Copy !req
1159. I can't do it.Copy !req
1160. Stop using Suzie as a safety net.Copy !req
1161. - Wait. Who are you to tell me...?
- She was my sister...Copy !req
1162. before she was your wife. If she were
here, she'd tell you the same thing.Copy !req
1163. But she is not here now,
is she, Charlie? She's gone.Copy !req
1164. That's right, Herb. But you're not.Copy !req
1165. What am I doing here?Copy !req
1166. That's what I asked you
in the first place.Copy !req
1167. I am not authorized to give
that information.Copy !req
1168. I'm not authorized to throw
your ass overboard, but I will.Copy !req
1169. Now tell me where she is.Copy !req
1170. You better tell him.Copy !req
1171. This man's got a black belt in
some flung dung or one of them things.Copy !req
1172. Please.Copy !req
1173. All right, look. All I know is
we got a message she's flying home.Copy !req
1174. - She's flying?
- Yes.Copy !req
1175. - From where?
- I have no idea.Copy !req
1176. All right. Stop the car! Stop the car!Copy !req
1177. Stop the car! Stop... Stop the car.Copy !req
1178. Oh, my Lord.Copy !req
1179. Where in the...?Copy !req
1180. - Oh...
- I don't think you understand us.Copy !req
1181. We wanna go to the airport.Copy !req
1182. That thing?Copy !req
1183. - God.
- I get the luggage.Copy !req
1184. - No! Wait.
- Leave the luggage where it is.Copy !req
1185. Wait a minute. I see somebody.Copy !req
1186. Where?Copy !req
1187. Don't you move.
Stay right where you are!Copy !req
1188. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
1189. Come on. Excuse me,
but maybe you could help me.Copy !req
1190. This crazy cab driver's trying to tell
me that this is aeropuerto.Copy !req
1191. - Si.
- Oy-oy-oy.Copy !req
1192. I don't believe this.Copy !req
1193. All right, if this is the aeropuerto,
maybe you can show me a piloto!Copy !req
1194. - You're looking at him.
- Oh.Copy !req
1195. - What?
- You want a lift, sweetcakes?Copy !req
1196. God almighty.
Did you hear what he just called me?Copy !req
1197. Sure did.Copy !req
1198. - Come on.
- Are you crazy?Copy !req
1199. - What?
- This is dangerous.Copy !req
1200. What's the matter? Afraid to live?Copy !req
1201. Living is good.
It's dying I'm worried about.Copy !req
1202. Where are Gordon and Sullivan? Don't
give me that "code among comrades."Copy !req
1203. Sir, don't have the foggiest, sir.Copy !req
1204. Bollocks.Copy !req
1205. Pardon me. Pardon me.Copy !req
1206. This should be good.Copy !req
1207. - Five hundred.
- Are you out of your mind?Copy !req
1208. - That's too much money.
- That doesn't mean I ain't a good pilot.Copy !req
1209. - Has nothing to do with you being good.
- Look at this. It's J.F.K., all of a sudden.Copy !req
1210. I have an idea, Mama.
Just stay with me on it.Copy !req
1211. Good evening. I don't know you,
but this man over here says...Copy !req
1212. he'll charge $500 to get to an airport.
Would you be interested in splitting it?Copy !req
1213. - Absolutely.
- You got a deal.Copy !req
1214. - You want to ride shotgun?
- Don't touch me.Copy !req
1215. - Get ready, kid.
- Where do we think we're going?Copy !req
1216. Oh, hi there.Copy !req
1217. We're just going scouting
for some icebergs.Copy !req
1218. You aren't going anywhere
except to your cabin...Copy !req
1219. - ... where you will stay.
- Listen, you sniveling little brownnose.Copy !req
1220. I have lived for 71 years.
I fought a war.Copy !req
1221. I buried my wife and I have survived
48 white sales at Gimbels.Copy !req
1222. If you think some fop like you is gonna
stop me, you got another thing coming.Copy !req
1223. How dare you speak to me that way.Copy !req
1224. - May I speak to you for a moment?
- No, you may not.Copy !req
1225. Way to go, Charlie!Copy !req
1226. I can't stop it, Charlie!Copy !req
1227. Hang on, Charlie!Copy !req
1228. Bon voyage, meathead!Copy !req
1229. I hope your boat capsizes
and you drown like bloody rats!Copy !req
1230. - Bye.
- When that old bag makes me VP...Copy !req
1231. I'll see to it you never work another
cruise ship as long as you live!Copy !req
1232. Good evening, Ellen.Copy !req
1233. - What are you doing out here?
- You know...Copy !req
1234. I find it hard to believe, but it
really is true. You are an asshole.Copy !req
1235. - I'm simply doing my job.
- Oh, you have no job.Copy !req
1236. You're fired. Mac...Copy !req
1237. as of now, you are my new CD.Copy !req
1238. And what about me?Copy !req
1239. You're his friend.Copy !req
1240. - What?
- She's talking about...Copy !req
1241. button that button, you little prick.Copy !req
1242. Prick.Copy !req
1243. You know what I don't see? Land.Copy !req
1244. It's there.Copy !req
1245. I see nothing but night.Copy !req
1246. I hope we don't get stranded.Copy !req
1247. You know, these are
shark-infested waters.Copy !req
1248. We're not gonna get stranded.Copy !req
1249. They say that the big ones
will swallow you whole.Copy !req
1250. Swallow my what?Copy !req
1251. You're not helping me, Charles.Copy !req
1252. - Here, let me do that.
- What makes you think you can do it?Copy !req
1253. - I'm taller.
- That has nothing to do with it.Copy !req
1254. It's in the wrist.Copy !req
1255. - You did it.
- We did it.Copy !req
1256. Yeah.Copy !req
1257. Well, it turns nicely.Copy !req
1258. Sit down, will you,
so I can see where I'm going.Copy !req
1259. - Are you from the cruise?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
1260. I thought so.Copy !req
1261. Here he comes. Be careful!Copy !req
1262. - Evening, ladies. Welcome aboard.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1263. - And thank you for choosing Vaya Azul.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1264. Piece of shit!Copy !req
1265. Which of the Wright brothers
did you buy this from?Copy !req
1266. The one you dated in high school.Copy !req
1267. I feel so much better.
That's very reassuring.Copy !req
1268. We have a funny pilot.Copy !req
1269. - Hold it!
- What are you doing?Copy !req
1270. - I wanna get out of here, Ma.
- We're going! We're going!Copy !req
1271. - Stop!
- Take it easy, now. Oh, my Lord!Copy !req
1272. There!Copy !req
1273. A plane! There's a plane!Copy !req
1274. Is she in it?Copy !req
1275. I don't know. Do you see
a telescope attached to my head?Copy !req
1276. Come on, baby. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
1277. - Come on, baby.
- Ooh!Copy !req
1278. Come on.Copy !req
1279. - Wait!
- Wait, please. Hold it!Copy !req
1280. Stop! Please, stop!Copy !req
1281. Wait for us! Wait!Copy !req
1282. - It's Herbie and his friend!
- Wait, please. Wait.Copy !req
1283. Oh, God.Copy !req
1284. Hold it! Hold it!Copy !req
1285. Wait! Wait!Copy !req
1286. Wait a minute. Wait!Copy !req
1287. Down here!Copy !req
1288. - Hey! Hey!
- Come back!Copy !req
1289. She's not gonna hear a whistle,
for crying out loud. Hey!Copy !req
1290. Wait a minute. Wait a minute!Copy !req
1291. - What are you doing?
- You'll see.Copy !req
1292. What are you doing?Copy !req
1293. What are you gonna do,
shoot down the plane?Copy !req
1294. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1295. The flare!Copy !req
1296. See the flare?Copy !req
1297. - Now turn, for God's sake. See it?
- Turn around.Copy !req
1298. Come back!Copy !req
1299. Ensign Matowski.Copy !req
1300. - What?
- Herb.Copy !req
1301. Oh, my God. That can't be Charlie!Copy !req
1302. No way.Copy !req
1303. - Turn around.
- It's probably just...Copy !req
1304. - Turn? What is your problem?
- Just do it.Copy !req
1305. Turn! Yes. He's turning! Yes!Copy !req
1306. That's it. Way to go.Copy !req
1307. - Liz.
- Charlie.Copy !req
1308. - You're late.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1309. I had a little trouble getting started.Copy !req
1310. The plane was windy, you know.Copy !req
1311. - Yeah.
- Made my eyes water.Copy !req
1312. Yeah, it does that. Yeah. Look at that.Copy !req
1313. Liz.Copy !req
1314. From the first moment
I saw you on that ship...Copy !req
1315. it was my intention to lie to you,
I swear.Copy !req
1316. That's sweet.Copy !req
1317. What I didn't intend
was falling in love with you.Copy !req
1318. Well, okay.Copy !req
1319. The deal is...Copy !req
1320. that I'm as big a liar as you.Copy !req
1321. I highly doubt it.Copy !req
1322. I'm broke.Copy !req
1323. I'm sure you're exaggerating.Copy !req
1324. No, I'm not.Copy !req
1325. Not even a couple of
hundred thousand?Copy !req
1326. Not even.Copy !req
1327. Zip. Flat broke.Copy !req
1328. Sorry.Copy !req
1329. Door's open. It's not too late.
You can leave.Copy !req
1330. No, I don't wanna get out.Copy !req
1331. I don't wanna leave.Copy !req
1332. How long's all this gonna take?Copy !req
1333. Couple of gold diggers coming up empty.Copy !req
1334. That's terrific.Copy !req
1335. We still got the check from Carswell
for $ 18,000.Copy !req
1336. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.Copy !req
1337. I saw you...Copy !req
1338. You taped it?Copy !req
1339. - What do I look like? A schmuck?
- The jury's still out on that one.Copy !req
1340. Shut up, Ma. We're keeping him.Copy !req
1341. Thank you.Copy !req
1342. Fifty dollars apiece,
for picking up the two studs.Copy !req
1343. They ought to give you 50 bucks
for calling them studs.Copy !req
1344. Herbie, lend me 50 bucks,
will you? All I got is this check.Copy !req
1345. You're not getting a nickel
out of me, Charlie.Copy !req
1346. - Let me just say...
- Would you...?Copy !req
1347. You got any crack on you?Copy !req
1348. Instead... Instead of...Copy !req
1349. Instead of paying for this cruise...Copy !req
1350. Come with me.Copy !req
1351. See, we go to shmeer...Copy !req
1352. And then you call a...Copy !req
1353. Are you talking
about humpback whales?Copy !req
1354. I was talking about humping, actually.Copy !req
1355. Ah! Ah! Ah!Copy !req
1356. What hint? No, I just found us a couple
of chest butchers that'll whip it out.Copy !req
1357. - Where were you?
- Well...Copy !req
1358. A passenger requested an escort, sir.Copy !req
1359. - Indeed. A likely excuse.
- So I slipped her one in the lifeboat.Copy !req
1360. Oh, shit...Copy !req
1361. Oh, look who's here.Copy !req
1362. You better tell him.Copy !req
1363. This man's got a martial arts thing
in black belt shmeer.Copy !req
1364. So if you think that some snot nose
little fop like you is gonna stop me...Copy !req
1365. then pinch me, Walter.Copy !req
1366. So if you think some snotty little fop
like you is gonna change me or...Copy !req
1367. * * * * me up,
then I'll * * *k it up myself.Copy !req
1368. Even though we've known each other
for a short time...Copy !req
1369. the moon is up your ass.Copy !req
1370. Keep looking at Dyan.Copy !req
1371. - Don't try to grab my thing.
- Oh, isn't that attractive?Copy !req
1372. I wouldn't hold my thing.Copy !req
1373. What about Walter's hand?Copy !req
1374. I really had a good time.Copy !req
1375. - I wanna tell you something.
- Tell me, tell me.Copy !req
1376. I have never had a better piece of ass.Copy !req
1377. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1378. Did I hear "cut"?Copy !req
1379. Dismissed.Copy !req