1. Hey
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2. What makes a man
Is it the power in his hands
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3. Is it his quest for glory
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4. Give it all you got to
to fight to the top
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5. So we can know your story
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6. Now you're a man
A man
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7. A man, man, man
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8. Now you're a man a
manny, manny, man A man
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9. A man, man, man
A man
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10. You are now a man
You're a man
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11. Now you're a man
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12. Live it, live it
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13. What makes a man
Is it the woman in his arms
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14. Just 'cause she has big titties
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15. Or is it the way he fights everyday
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16. No, it's probably the titties
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17. Now you're a male a
male, male, male A man
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18. Now you're a ma-male
A man
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19. A ma-male, ma-male, male
Now you're a male
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20. A man
M- A-N, man, man
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21. Ma-Man, man
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22. Now you're a man
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23. Hello there. My name is Robert
White. And I'm Joseph Young.
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24. And we're with the Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints. Who?
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25. Let me ask you a question. What would
you say if someone offered you...
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26. peace and happiness
through all of eternity?
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27. Fuck off!
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28. Thank you.
Have a nice day.
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29. Yeah, baby.
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30. You make me so horny.
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31. Oh, I want it so bad.
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32. I bet you do.
And I'm gonna give it to you.
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33. Oh, good. 'Cause I'm
so badly wanting it.
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34. Hi.
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35. Thank you.
Bye-bye.
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36. Almost.
Mm-hmm.
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37. Oh, yeah. Harder.
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38. Give it- Oh, give it to me,
you big stud.
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39. - I'm not a stud.
- Huh?
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40. I'm not a stud. I'm-
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41. Jizzmaster Zero!
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42. Oh, no. Help!
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43. - Somebody help!
- Ain't nobody gonna help you now, honey.
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44. Somebody, save me.
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45. Orgazmo!
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46. Unhand her, Jizzmaster Zero!
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47. You can't defeat me, Orgazmo!
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48. Oh, yeah, I can too.
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49. I'll use my Orgazmorator.
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50. Oh, that feels good.
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51. Now I will kick your ass.
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52. Oh.
Hello, ma'am.
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53. - My goodness, you have such an attractive little garden here.
- Why, thank you, young man.
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54. I just planted those flowers last week.
My, how they grow!
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55. Yes, ma'am. We're from the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
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56. Oh, the Mormons?
That's right.
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57. I'm Elder Young, and
this is Elder White. Well.
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58. You two boys can just fuck right off.
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59. Ma'am?
You heard me.
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60. Take that book of Mormon and shove it so
far up your righteous asses that you choke,
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61. you soul-soliciting pig fuckers.
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62. There.
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63. Gosh.
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64. Take this!
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65. You take this!
Ha-ha!
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66. Ow! I jammed my finger.
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67. - Cut!
- Ow, ow.! I jammed my finger.!
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68. Jesus!
Cut.!
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69. Goddamn it, cut!
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70. What the hell was that?
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71. What is your problem, Zazinsky?
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72. He blocked. He wasn't supposed to block,
and he broke my finger.
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73. You told me you knew how to fight.
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74. Orgazmo's supposed to be a badass.
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75. He shouldn't block me then!
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76. Get back in there...
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77. and look tough,
you fucking pansy!
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78. I can't.
My finger is broke.
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79. You listen to me,
you cocky prick!
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80. If you ever wanna work in porno again,
you'll do exactly what I say.
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81. Get back to work!
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82. Hey, where are you and Lisa
gonna have the wedding?
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83. Well, of course, Lisa wants
to get married in the temple...
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84. in Salt Lake City,
but it costs a lot of money.
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85. I don't think I can afford it.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
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86. I don't know why the church makes it
so expensive to have a wedding there.
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87. Hey, don't worry. If you really
want something to happen,
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88. the Heavenly Father will
probably make it happen.
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89. Yeah.
Yeah.
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90. - Action!
- I'm Jizzmaster Zero!
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91. Oh, no. Help.
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92. No one's gonna help
you now, honey!
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93. Somebody save me.
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94. Orgazmo.
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95. Unhand her, Jizzmaster-
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96. - What is that?
- It's the front door, stupid.
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97. Cut! Goddamn it!
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98. Bilbo!
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99. Go see who that is and kill them
for disrupting my shoot!
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100. Okay.
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101. Hi. My name's Joseph Young.
And I'm Robert White.
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102. We're with the church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
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103. Okay, hold on a second.
Uh-
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104. Uh, boss?
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105. Some guys from Jesus?
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106. Cut off their balls!
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107. I gotta cut your balls off now.
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108. Huh?
Why?
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109. Hey, we can take a hint.
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110. You're not ready to change faiths
right now. We respect that.
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111. Ow!
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112. Come here!
Wait, wait, wait, no!
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113. Now this is how you
kick somebody's ass.
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114. That ought to teach those Moonies
to stay away from my house.
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115. Please, I don't wanna hurt you.
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116. You don't wanna hurt me, huh?
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117. Guards! More guards!
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118. Just let me get my book and go.
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119. Uh-huh.
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120. - Wow.
- Oh, sorry.
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121. - You little pussy.!
- Oh!
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122. Sorry. Sorry.
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123. Holy shit.
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124. That was brilliant!
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125. You're terrific, kid.
What's your name?
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126. Look, I didn't mean
to hurt these people.
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127. Oh, no, no, no. They had it comin'
to them, the rotten bastards!
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128. Why were you trying
to hurt this man?
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129. What is it that you wanted?
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130. Well, I-I'm from the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
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131. Uh-huh.
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132. And I want to share
my love of Jesus with you.
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133. Well, why didn't you say so?
Come on in!
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134. Really?
Come on!
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135. "I say unto you, 'Nay, they are many.
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136. Yea, and we can witness
of their sincerity,
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137. because of their love towards their
brethren, and also towards us. "'
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138. So, you see, Jesus Christ
spoke to prophets...
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139. right here
in the ancient Americas.
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140. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I dig that Jesus guy.
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141. You do?
Oh, sure. The kids love him.
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142. Happy Tart?
Oh, thank you.
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143. Listen, kid.
Mmm.
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144. Have you ever considered acting?
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145. Me? Oh, yes. Actually,
I majored in theater at B.Y.U.
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146. Go on.
Yeah.
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147. Are you making a movie here?
Yeah.
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148. And I want you to take over
as the leading man in my film.
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149. Me?
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150. Really? Well, wow.
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151. I still have another week
of mission work to do, but-
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152. Well, what kind of movie is it?
It's an action/adventure porno.
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153. Porno? Like as in pornographic?
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154. Well, yeah, but it's not like that.
Oh.
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155. Oh, I don't do those-
those kind of movies.
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156. Look, kid. It's two days' work,
and I'll give you $5,000.
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157. Hey, you were only giving me 300.
How's your finger, Chechechez?
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158. I think it's better.
I'm ready to go. Yeah?
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159. - Ow!
- That certainly is a lot of money,
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160. but I'm afraid
it goes against my beliefs.
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161. Thank you very mu-
Look, kid.
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162. You got me all wrong.
This is not your average porno.
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163. This is a very touching script.
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164. It's a poignant story about
some very important issues.
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165. But are there people having intercourse?
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166. Well, this is an adult film.
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167. Well, see, I can't do that.
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168. All right. Make it $7,000.
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169. It's very nice of you to offer me
so much money, but-
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170. Ten thousand.
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171. I can't. See, I have a fiancée.
And if she ever-
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172. I got it.
We'll use a stunt cock.
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173. Anytime there's actual penetration, we'll
bring in another penis. We do it all the time.
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174. All you have to concern yourself with
is the crime fighting and the acting.
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175. But see, I'd still be acting in a
pornographic movie. And that's what I-
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176. Twenty thousand dollars.
Excuse me?
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177. Twenty thousand dollars? Are you crazy?
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178. Twenty thousand dollars
for two days' work?
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179. And you don't even have to fuck.
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180. I have to think about this.
Can I think about this?
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181. Sure. We'll start first thing
Monday morning.
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182. Well, I have to think about this.
Yeah.
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183. You start at 10:00.
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184. I'm gonna think about this now.
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185. I don't know. He doesn't seem much
like the porno type to me, boss.
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186. That's why he's so perfect for Orgazmo.
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187. He's so prissy and wholesome.
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188. You watch. In a couple of weeks,
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189. I'll make that little mama's boy
the biggest porn star in the country.
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190. Hello?
Hi, Lis.
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191. Hi, honey.
How are things in Utah?
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192. Utah isn't as nice without you,
that's for sure. How are things there?
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193. Oh, fine.
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194. I, uh- I had an interesting day.
I got offered a part in a movie.
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195. A movie? Like a Hollywood movie?
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196. Yeah, and it pays a lot.
Oh, Joe. That's wonderful.
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197. Is it enough so that we can
get married in the temple?
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198. Lisa, it's $20,000.
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199. Oh, you're the best, Joe.
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200. Well, I don't know if I'm
gonna do it, Lis. What? Why not?
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201. There are some things in the movie
that are against God's way.
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202. Joe, even if movies are
a little crude now and then,
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203. I think that the Lord understands that
you need money for your family's future.
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204. Twenty thousand dollars would get us
off to a great start. I know it would.
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205. So what is it? What
are you acting in? Oh.
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206. Uh, it's, uh,
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207. Death of a Salesman. Oh, let me
guess. You're playing Biff, right?
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208. Biff, yeah.
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209. Daddy's here to take me
to choir practice, Joe.
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210. Can I call you back later?
Sure, sure.
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211. Jesus and I love you, Joe.
Jesus and I love you too, Lis.
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212. Bye.
Bye.
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213. Heavenly Father,
please show me the way.
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214. I know it would be sinful to act
in a movie that had sexual activity,
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215. but Lisa is so important to me.
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216. And I need the money for
our wedding and for a place to live.
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217. Please, just give me a sign
if you don't want me to do it.
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218. Any sign at all.
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219. Where is that little fucking choir boy?
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220. I don't think he's gonna show up.
Oh, really?
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221. Rodgers, you and pickle dick here
go find that bastard.
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222. And you tell him
if he doesn't act in my film,
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223. his parents, his friends,
his fuckin' pets are gonna pay!
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224. You tell him
if he fucks with me, he'll be-
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225. Well, hello.
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226. Hello. We were just talking
about you. How are you?
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227. I'm fine. Super. Why don't
you go get into wardrobe,
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228. and we'll get started right away.
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229. Orbison, who am I fucking
in this scene?
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230. Uh, you'll be fucking
Jeff and probably Ben.
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231. Have you met our new Orgazmo? No.
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232. Hi, how do you do?
Hi, are we fucking?
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233. No. You'll be fucking
his stunt cock.
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234. And I'm not doing any ass-licking today.
I told you that, right?
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235. Yes, yes. No ass-licking.
Okay.
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236. I'm not an ass-licker. Give
'em an inch, they take a mile.
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237. Oh, what was I thinking?
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238. There you are. Get in here. Come on.
Just get in here and put this on.
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239. Put it on. Just put it
on now. Uh, okay. Can I-
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240. Oh.
So you must be the new Orgazmo.
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241. No, I- Maybe. My name's Joe.
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242. Ben Chapleski.
I play Choda Boy.
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243. What's a Choda Boy?
I'm your sidekick.
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244. My sidekick? I have a sidekick?
Yeah.
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245. What do-
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246. Uh, I didn't know I had a sidekick.
Didn't they even tell you the plot?
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247. No, they just said I'm a superhero.
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248. Right. You're Orgazmo.
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249. And you fight crime
with your Orgazmorator.
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250. And I'm your sidekick, and I help you out
with my specially designed sex toys.
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251. Oh.
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252. I don't think I've seen you before.
Are you new in this business?
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253. Oh, yeah. This is my first time.
I'm actually a normal person.
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254. Hey, we're all normal people, man.
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255. Hell, I got Ph. D's in physics
and engineering from M.I.T.
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256. M.I.T.? In Boston?
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257. No, it's in Cambridge, actually.
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258. But if you have two Ph. D's,
why do you do these kind of movies?
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259. See you on set, Choda Boy.
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260. That's why.
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261. See, I have what's called
an overactive sex drive.
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262. Hey, just between you and me,
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263. I don't get a whole lot
of action from women.
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264. - They don't seem to take me very seriously.
- You don't say.
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265. Yeah, but I get plenty of action here.
And I love every minute of it.
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266. But if you're such a scientific genius,
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267. don't you think
Heavenly Father has something...
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268. more important planned for your life?
Who?
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269. You.
What?
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270. Yeah.
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271. Stand back, Jizzmaster Zero!
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272. You look good, man.
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273. Let's make some porno.
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274. - Hey, man, you need to shave your balls?
- What? Why would I do that?
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275. All male actors shave their balls, Joe.
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276. Makes the old Johnson look bigger.
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277. Give it a shot.
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278. No, I'm not-
I'm using a stunt thing.
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279. Oh, kid. You look fucking "fabeau"!
I see you met Choda Boy.
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280. Yes. Hey, that's not the
only thing that changed.
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281. I really beefed this script up.
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282. Come on, people. Let's
get shooting! Mr. Orbison.
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283. Yeah? You're not gonna put my name
anywhere on this movie are you?
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284. Oh, no, kid. You'll get
a stage name. Oh, good.
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285. Everybody does. Now, let's
see. Joe Young, right? Right.
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286. Young, Young,
tongue, bung, hung. Hung!
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287. Tom Hung. It's perfect.
You like that? No.
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288. Okay, people. Let's go.
Come on. Set this up for me.
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289. Okay, this is what we're doing.
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290. Uh, Candi, Saffi and Jizzmaster
Zero are getting busy on the bed.
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291. - How busy?
- Both of you are doing oral on him.
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292. And then two: Orgazmo
and Choda Boy break through the wall.
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293. They fight with
Jizzmaster Zero and his henchmen.
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294. And four: You all fuck
like nasty pigs. Got it?
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295. Nasty pigs. Got it.
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296. Whoa, whoa. Mr. Orbison, you said
I wouldn't have to have sex, remember?
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297. You said we'd use a stunt- stunt-
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298. Cock, a stunt cock.
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299. Yes, you get a stunt cock,
but only for penetration.
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300. Penetration?
Who's gonna be penetrated?
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301. Penetration is when the penis
enters an orifice, Joe.
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302. Penetration you don't do, but you do have to
get nasty with the ladies. That's the deal.
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303. Okay, people. Let's go.
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304. Lights on.
Lights are on and stable, Captain.
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305. Whoo-hoo! Let's see some fuckin' action!
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306. Dave, calm down.
Yeah? Right. Sorry.
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307. All right. You give me
some nice close-ups.
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308. And you give me a nice, slow zoom...
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309. starting with a medium
close-up on the cock.
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310. And then widening out
to an establishing shot.
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311. Genius.
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312. Roll cameras.
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313. And we're sucking.
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314. Good, we're sucking.
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315. Oh, my gosh, I don't know
if I can go through with this.
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316. Sure you can,
just do what I do.
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317. That's some hot shit right
there. Check that out, man. Good.
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318. We're sucking. We're sucking.
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319. Yeah, suck that cock!
Damn it, Dave.!
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320. Keep your mouth shut!
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321. Sorry, sorry, dude.
Got a little excited.
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322. Cue Orgazmo and Choda Boy.
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323. Orgazmo!
And Choda Boy!
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324. You can't defeat me, Orgazmo.!
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325. Yeah, really.
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326. Oh, yeah.
You can't defeat me, Orgazmo!
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327. That's your line, Hung. Hey!
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328. That's your line, Hung!
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329. Yeah, yeah, I can too.
I'll use my Orgazmorator.
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330. No, not that!
That feels good! Ow!
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331. Nice shot!
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332. They've hurt our evil boss,
Jizzmaster Zero.
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333. Now you're gonna get some.
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334. Need a hand?
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335. That's handy work.
Now lock 'em up, Choda Boy.
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336. - Are you okay, ladies?
- We're fine thanks to you, Orgazmo.!
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337. And Choda Boy.
Now it's time for us to repay you.
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338. Yeah, come on, boys.
Let's get it on.
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339. Kiss her.
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340. Not like that.
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341. This is supposed to be erotic.
Use your tongue, for Christ's sake.
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342. How would Christ benefit from me
putting my tongue in someone's mouth?
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343. Do you want your money or not, Hung?
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344. And cut. Stunt cock.
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345. - Stunt cock!
- Stunt cock.!
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346. Hey, how you doin'?
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347. Hey, how you doin'?
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348. Hey, how you doin'?
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349. I can't believe I'm doing this.
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350. Hey, you know, you did
a good job in there, man.
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351. Thank you. Did you ever see
that movie Clash of the Titans?
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352. Oh, with the Greek mythology and stuff?
Yeah, yeah, I saw that.
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353. I don't wanna sound
like a queer or nothin',
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354. but I think unicorns are kick-ass.
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355. What's that?
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356. Oh, this is the Book of Mormon.
It's another testament of Jesus Christ.
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357. Oh, is it any good?
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358. Okay, people. Let's go.
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359. Action.
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360. Oh, whoopee!
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361. "For the time is at hand that all men
shall reap a reward of their works. "
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362. See, when the Mormons arrived in Missouri, they
needed to find jobs, but no one would hire them.
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363. - They should've done double anal.
- Excuse me?
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364. You get to be my age, you gotta do
double anal or no one will hire you.
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365. Right. Uh, see, people wouldn't hire the
Mormons because of their beliefs. Now...
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366. I'm the only one in town...
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367. who'll do double anal
and double vaginal at the same time.
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368. You know, D.V.D.A.
Well, it's how I still manage to get work.
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369. I see. Uh, I don't think you
quite understand what I'm-
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370. I don't understand?
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371. Hey, look, pal. You try having four
dicks in you at one time. No, thank you.
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372. Hey, lady.! We're ready for the D.
V.D.A. shot.! Nice talkin' to ya, kid.
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373. Okay, let's do it.
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374. Come on, boys, grease 'em up.
Oh, another day, another dollar.
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375. And action.
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376. Okay, we're rollin'.
How's it going, ace?
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377. Whoa, D.V.D.A. shot, huh?
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378. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Yeah, she's great.
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379. Hey, you wanna get
some sushi tonight?
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380. No remorse
on a collision course with death
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381. Buckin 'em till I'm out of breath
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382. So what did you think
of your first day of porno, Joe?
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383. Joe?
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384. I'm a bad, bad Mormon.
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385. Yo, yo, yo.
What's up, homies?
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386. - How's it goin', G-Fresh? - Oh, just
kickin' it. You know what I'm saying, G?
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387. Oh, yeah. G-Fresh
in the motherfucking house.
Copy !req
388. Hey, G-Fresh, I want you
to meet Orgazmo here.
Copy !req
389. I'm not Orgazmo!
Copy !req
390. I don't want anyone to know.
Copy !req
391. My name is Joe, Joe Young.
How do you do?
Copy !req
392. Oh, just kickin' it! The dope rhymes on the
smoothed out R & B tips. You know what I'm sayin'?
Copy !req
393. No.
Copy !req
394. - How you doin', G-Fresh? - You.! Get
your punk asses out of my sushi bar.!
Copy !req
395. Oh, we'll get our punk asses
out of your fish bar...
Copy !req
396. just as soon as you sign
this little piece of paper.
Copy !req
397. I told you I ain't gonna sign.
Copy !req
398. I ain't gonna givin' up my place.
Copy !req
399. Who are these guys?
Copy !req
400. These are the G's I been
telling you about from next door.
Copy !req
401. They are trying
to buy out my restaurant...
Copy !req
402. so they can make
their dance club bigger.
Copy !req
403. But homie don't play that!
Copy !req
404. - Why don't you guys get lost, huh?
- Keep your mouth shut, Tiny Tim!
Copy !req
405. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. I think we all
need to calm down a little bit here.
Copy !req
406. Oh, gee. That man's right.
Copy !req
407. We're real sorry.
We'll leave Mr. Fresh alone.
Copy !req
408. Oh, yeah.
Please excuse the mix-up, please.
Copy !req
409. Wow!
Copy !req
410. Wow!
Copy !req
411. - Whoa!
- Oops.
Copy !req
412. - Ooh!
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
413. - Geometry, things that are
- Oh!
Copy !req
414. You better make up
your mind real quick, Fresh,
Copy !req
415. 'cause our boss isn't gonna give you
such a good deal next time.
Copy !req
416. Shouldn't we call
the police or something?
Copy !req
417. Joe, the police can't help.
Copy !req
418. Geez, where are you from,
Iowa or something?
Copy !req
419. No, Utah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
420. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
421. Oh, so good.
Copy !req
422. It's so good.
Copy !req
423. Oh, do you like it?
Do you like it?
Copy !req
424. Ring the bell! Ring the bell!
Copy !req
425. Ding dong!
Ding, ding, dong, ding, ding!
Copy !req
426. You-
Copy !req
427. - Line?
- You guys got me so horny.
Copy !req
428. Oh, yeah.
You guys got me so horny!
Copy !req
429. Come on, Hung. You gotta at least
look like you're enjoying this.
Copy !req
430. Rub her breasts or something.
Copy !req
431. - Come on. Come on, Hung.
- Do I have to?
Copy !req
432. Don't worry, dude.
They're not real.
Copy !req
433. Yeah, there you go, buddy.
Get some.
Copy !req
434. We're onto you, Orgazmo. Yeah, your
days of "superhero-dom" are over.
Copy !req
435. Not so fast, guys.
My Orgazmorator should take care of you.
Copy !req
436. - Your turn, Choda Boy.
- Right!
Copy !req
437. My blue "harpoontang"
should do the trick.
Copy !req
438. Looks like they're all
tied up at the moment.
Copy !req
439. That was too easy.
Copy !req
440. Great job, guys.
Copy !req
441. Now, how about we get really nasty?
Copy !req
442. Cut.!
Copy !req
443. Oh, dude, she's dead.!
Damn it.!
Copy !req
444. I'm glad you could
come over for dinner, Joe.
Copy !req
445. I'm really excited to show you
my laboratory where I design things.
Copy !req
446. I think you might find one thing
in particular very interesting.
Copy !req
447. Did you say something?
Copy !req
448. Nah, I was just thinking.
Come on in.
Copy !req
449. Goodness, gee.
Is this all yours?
Copy !req
450. Yeah, bought and paid for.
Copy !req
451. It's all the patents I have.
Copy !req
452. See, when I'm not doing
the flicks, I invent stuff.
Copy !req
453. And I get some serious cash for it.
What's this here?
Copy !req
454. I guess I never told you.
Copy !req
455. Told me what?
Copy !req
456. See, when I was a kid,
Copy !req
457. I learned a lot of different kung fu styles.
Copy !req
458. And one of the styles was hamster.
Copy !req
459. Hamster? I don't think
I've seen you do hamster.
Copy !req
460. No.
Copy !req
461. No, I vowed to my father
I would never use hamster style again.
Copy !req
462. Why? What happened?
Copy !req
463. I don't like to talk about it.
Copy !req
464. Well, maybe it would help you
to talk about it. You know, get it out.
Copy !req
465. I don't know if I can.
Copy !req
466. Well, what are you running from, man?
Copy !req
467. I don't know.
Copy !req
468. I guess maybe I'm just running from myself.
Copy !req
469. I mean, it happened several years ago, but
I can remember it like it was just yesterday.
Copy !req
470. - Hey, Dad.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
471. I don't think I'm gonna do
hamster style anymore.
Copy !req
472. That's nice.
Copy !req
473. And that's the way it went down, man.
Copy !req
474. Shit.
Copy !req
475. I can still smell that newspaper.
Copy !req
476. Hey, you know, it does-
it does feel better to get it out.
Copy !req
477. Come on. I wanna
show you something.
Copy !req
478. By the time I finally got
this old mama to work,
Copy !req
479. it had a lot of parts.
Copy !req
480. The sucker got pretty heavy.
Copy !req
481. I can barely even lift it now.
What is it?
Copy !req
482. It's the Orgazmorator.
I've made it work.
Copy !req
483. Golly, it's huge.
Yeah.
Copy !req
484. I could probably make a more compact version,
but then I'd have to use cold fusion...
Copy !req
485. instead of the fission device
that's inside of it now.
Copy !req
486. But then if I could
figure out cold fusion,
Copy !req
487. I'd be a millionaire.
Copy !req
488. - Want to give it a shot?
- How?
Copy !req
489. Here. Here.
Copy !req
490. Stick our arm in this thing here.
Copy !req
491. Grab ahold of the handle,
and it should power up.
Copy !req
492. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Calm down, dude.
Copy !req
493. - Calm down. It's okay.
- It's just powering up. It's okay.
Copy !req
494. You can actually hold that thing, huh?
Copy !req
495. It's not that heavy.
Copy !req
496. - That is sweet.
- So now what?
Copy !req
497. So now, I mean, it's-
You know, I mean, It's like a gun.
Copy !req
498. I mean, you feel that little trigger
on the handle there?
Copy !req
499. This one?
Copy !req
500. Oh, my gosh!
Are you okay?
Copy !req
501. Whoo!
Copy !req
502. Whoo! Thanks, man.
Copy !req
503. - Aw, you're puttin' me on.
- No, I told you it works.
Copy !req
504. Go ahead, shoot yourself.
Copy !req
505. No, I couldn't.
Go on, give yourself a treat.
Copy !req
506. Just shoot yourself in the foot or
something. I gotta get cleaned off.
Copy !req
507. Wow! Wow, wow! Wow!
Copy !req
508. I told you.
Copy !req
509. I told you it works.
Do me again.
Copy !req
510. This is incredible.
Copy !req
511. Come on. Do me again.
Copy !req
512. Amazing.
You made this thing, huh?
Copy !req
513. Whew. Yeah.
Copy !req
514. Sure beats jerkin' it, huh?
Gettin' your arm all tired.
Copy !req
515. Wow. Heavenly Father has
really given you a gift for science.
Copy !req
516. Yeah, whatever.
Copy !req
517. Hey, can you walk around
with that thing on?
Copy !req
518. - I think so. Why?
- Wanna go have some fun?
Copy !req
519. Get up against the wall.
Spread your legs. Keep your arm up there.
Copy !req
520. All right, kid. Look. This is
the last scene for the day. You okay?
Copy !req
521. No.
Good. This is the scene...
Copy !req
522. where the evil King Erectus whisks you
back in time to the Garden of Eden.
Copy !req
523. The Garden of Eden?
Nice, huh? Look at me.
Copy !req
524. It's just you and T-Rex in this scene,
Copy !req
525. so I'm gonna need a lot of hot action
before I bring in your stunt cock, all right?
Copy !req
526. Go ahead. Lay down.
Copy !req
527. Wh- Wh-
Why do they call her T-Rex?
Copy !req
528. - Hi, fellas. I'm ready to fudge.
- Oh, my gosh!
Copy !req
529. - You want me on top?
- No, no! I'll be on top.
Copy !req
530. You're gonna make me come,
or I'm gonna kick your butt.
Copy !req
531. And action.
Copy !req
532. Come on!
Copy !req
533. Come on now. Oh, oh, baby.
Copy !req
534. Oh, you make me so hot now.
Copy !req
535. Come on.
Oh, that's good.
Copy !req
536. Oh, you make me so hot!
Copy !req
537. Oh, come on.
Fudge me now! Fudge me now!
Copy !req
538. Come on! Come on!
Copy !req
539. Oh, come on, lover. Baby.
Copy !req
540. Slap that ass. Damn, dude!
That's some hot shit right there!
Copy !req
541. Come on now.! Come on.!
Copy !req
542. Hey.! Can I get everyone
together for a few photos?
Copy !req
543. - Photos? Photos for what?
- Just some stills for publicity.
Copy !req
544. You know, I don't wanna sound
like a queer or nothin',
Copy !req
545. but I'm really gonna
miss you guys when this show's over.
Copy !req
546. Ben, do you think people
will see this video in Utah?
Copy !req
547. I wouldn't worry about it, dude. So many of these
movies get made every month, nobody's even gonna notice.
Copy !req
548. Say...
Copy !req
549. - Geddy Lee.
- Who's Geddy Lee?
Copy !req
550. Geddy Lee, best bass player ever.
Come on!
Copy !req
551. Geddy Lee!
Copy !req
552. Mr. Orbison. It's Joe Young.
Copy !req
553. Oh, Hung! Joe Hung. How are you?
Copy !req
554. I actually hadn't received
my money yet and I was wonder-
Copy !req
555. Of course, Joe. Your money. You know, I
was just over at the accounting department,
Copy !req
556. and I think they were putting the checks
through the big check processor.
Copy !req
557. No, I got my mail today,
and it's not there.
Copy !req
558. Those dirty bastards!
Copy !req
559. Well, I need to get it
before I can go home, see?
Copy !req
560. I'll have that fucking postman for lunch.
Copy !req
561. You know, I put that thing in the mail
three times now, Young!
Copy !req
562. Okay.
Copy !req
563. An exclusive look at the story behind
the crossover success of the decade.
Copy !req
564. "Stand back, Jizzmaster Zero. "
"You can't get me, Orgazmo. "
Copy !req
565. "I'll get you with my Orgazmo ray. "
Copy !req
566. How does a movie about a sex superhero
become a box-office smash?
Copy !req
567. And this year's
John Holmes Award goes to-
Copy !req
568. Tom Hung for Orgazmo.
Copy !req
569. Nuts.
Copy !req
570. Holy shit!
Copy !req
571. What's the difference between Orgazmo and your
previous porn titles like Schindler's Fist?
Copy !req
572. I really think history will describe
Orgazmo better than I possibly could.
Copy !req
573. Hi, Ben!
Hey, Georgi.
Copy !req
574. Goddamn!
Did your breasts get bigger?
Copy !req
575. Yeah, I upgraded.
Copy !req
576. My doctor says now I have enough silicone
in my body to kill a small elephant.
Copy !req
577. Isn't that cool?
Copy !req
578. Hey, Orgazmo!
I'm not Orgazmo!
Copy !req
579. The name's Joe, okay?
Not Orgazmo.
Copy !req
580. Man, you should be
psyched to be Orgazmo.
Copy !req
581. Especially today.
I mean, look at this party.
Copy !req
582. Everybody in the business is here today.
Copy !req
583. I don't know any of these people. I just
came to get the rest of my money and go.
Copy !req
584. Choda Boy!
Copy !req
585. Well, my ass
is actually shaped like a pear.
Copy !req
586. Hey, Orgazmo! I'm not Orgazmo,
okay? Have you seen Mr. Orbison?
Copy !req
587. Oh, yeah. I think he's over there
someplace or something.
Copy !req
588. Hey, what do you think of this band?
They're fine.
Copy !req
589. Yeah, I think they kind of
sound like Depeche Mode.
Copy !req
590. You know, I don't wanna
sound like a queer or nothin',
Copy !req
591. but I think Depeche Mode is a
sweet band. That's nice, Dave.
Copy !req
592. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
593. You know my homie got the bitches,
and the G folks are chill
Copy !req
594. Got my Jimmie on your tonsils
and the rhymes are feelin' ill
Copy !req
595. Oh, sorry.
We are not open yet.
Copy !req
596. Oh, that's okay.
We're not hungry anyway.
Copy !req
597. You get out of here!
We brought you the contract.
Copy !req
598. Our boss told us
to make you a better offer.
Copy !req
599. Now, here's the pen.
Here's the contract.
Copy !req
600. Bitch.
Copy !req
601. You're gonna get popped
if you keep riding me!
Copy !req
602. Oops! Wrong answer, homie.
Copy !req
603. Hey, Hung.
Just the man I wanted to talk to.
Copy !req
604. I actually just came by to collect the rest
of my money. Oh, yeah. Sure, sure, here. Here.
Copy !req
605. Hey, listen.
Joe, that is a lot of money.
Copy !req
606. But that's nothin'
for a man of your talent.
Copy !req
607. How do you like that, G?
Copy !req
608. Oh, you dirty bastard!
Come on.
Copy !req
609. Come on. You better check yourself
before you make me wreck yourself.
Copy !req
610. One, two!
Copy !req
611. Oh, that hurts.
Copy !req
612. You gonna sign the papers?
Your mama!
Copy !req
613. Are you gonna sign the papers?
Your mama!
Copy !req
614. Oh, no, no. Not the glass!
I just replaced it!
Copy !req
615. Oh, that hurts so bad!
Copy !req
616. A sequel? You wanna do a sequel?
Shh.
Copy !req
617. With the success of this thing,
how could I not want to make a sequel?
Copy !req
618. Look, Joe. I know how crucial you are
to Orgazmo's popularity.
Copy !req
619. That's why
I'm doubling your salary.
Copy !req
620. Forty thousand dollars.
Copy !req
621. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
622. Whoa!
Copy !req
623. Come on. Sign the paper.!
Copy !req
624. Okay, okay. I'll sign it.
Copy !req
625. Hey, I knew you'd see it our way. Sign it!
Copy !req
626. Thank you, Los Naked Mariachi.
Copy !req
627. People, I have a very important
announcement to make.
Copy !req
628. In three days,
Copy !req
629. we will begin principle
photography on Orgazmo 2.
Copy !req
630. Hello?
Hi, honey!
Copy !req
631. Oh, Lisa. Oh, hi.
Copy !req
632. How are you?
Oh, I'm- I'm fine.
Copy !req
633. Uh, oh, I have some news. Good or bad?
Copy !req
634. Well, good and bad, I guess.
Copy !req
635. Uh, they want me to do a sequel.
Copy !req
636. A sequel?
Yeah.
Copy !req
637. To Death of a Salesman?
Copy !req
638. Wait, doesn't he die
at the end of the first one?
Copy !req
639. Uh, yes. Yes, he does.
Copy !req
640. But he has a twin brother
who wants revenge now.
Copy !req
641. Revenge?
Copy !req
642. But he killed himself, didn't he?
Copy !req
643. No, no.
Copy !req
644. That's just what you were
lead to believe.
Copy !req
645. He was killed by the C.I.A...
Copy !req
646. for selling smack to Nazis.
Copy !req
647. Wow!
Copy !req
648. All this time I thought
Death of a Salesman was boring.
Copy !req
649. But, Lisa, they're giving me
$40,000 this time.
Copy !req
650. Oh, you're the best, Joe!
Copy !req
651. Oh, poopy, $40,000.
We could almost buy a house.
Copy !req
652. I know, and that's why
I agreed to do it.
Copy !req
653. Oh-
Copy !req
654. I have to go, Joe.
Daddy's here to pick me up-
Copy !req
655. For choir practice, I know.
Copy !req
656. Uh, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
Copy !req
657. Okay. Jesus and I love you, Joe.
Copy !req
658. Jesus and I love you too, cupcake.
Copy !req
659. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
660. Hey, you're Orgazmo, aren't you?
No! I mean, yes.
Copy !req
661. My name's Joe. I play a character named
Orgazmo. Listen, don't get prancy with me, kiddo!
Copy !req
662. Hyah!
Copy !req
663. You're not the bad boy
around here anymore.
Copy !req
664. The name is A-Cup,
I play Neutered Man.
Copy !req
665. Neutered Man?
Orgazmo's new archenemy.
Copy !req
666. Don't you get it?
Neutered Man!
Copy !req
667. He has no balls. Orgazmo's
little ray won't work on him.
Copy !req
668. But Orgazmo beats him, right?
How?
Copy !req
669. Well, Orgazmo would find a way.
How?
Copy !req
670. I don't know.
Read the script, duder!
Copy !req
671. Orgazmo doesn't find a way.
Neutered Man escapes.
Copy !req
672. You know, it's funny.
Copy !req
673. You look a lot tougher
on the screen.
Copy !req
674. Hyah!
Copy !req
675. Maybe I'll show you some
real moves sometime, asshole.
Copy !req
676. Hey, what do you think, ace? I don't like it.
It doesn't have the spirit of the first one.
Copy !req
677. And action!
Copy !req
678. Now that I have you at the Parthenon,
we will sacrifice you to the God of Lust.
Copy !req
679. You're so evil, Neutered Man.
Copy !req
680. If Orgazmo was here,
he wouldn't let you do this to us.
Copy !req
681. I'm not afraid of Orgazmo.
Copy !req
682. Did someone say my
name? Orgazmo! Orgazmo!
Copy !req
683. And Choda Boy!
Copy !req
684. Oh.
Let them go, Neutered Man.
Copy !req
685. Never. I'll kill you first.
Copy !req
686. Your little ray has no effect
on me, Orgazmo.
Copy !req
687. Fool!
Copy !req
688. Why doesn't your Orgazmo ray
work on him, Orgazmo?
Copy !req
689. I don't know, Choda Boy.
It's all Greek to me.
Copy !req
690. Orgazmo, you saved us.
Copy !req
691. How can we ever repay you?
Copy !req
692. I have an idea!
Copy !req
693. Ohh! Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
694. Cut. Stunt Cock!
Copy !req
695. Stunt cock!
Stunt cock!
Copy !req
696. - Oh, Orgazmo! Mmm!
- Rodgers?
Copy !req
697. Yeah, boss?
Who is that?
Copy !req
698. Oh, that's Ted,
the new stunt-cock guy.
Copy !req
699. And you don't see
a problem with this?
Copy !req
700. Mmm, nope.
Copy !req
701. All right, fuck it.
Copy !req
702. Hey, is that a new costume, Joe?
Copy !req
703. No, I think it's the same
one we've always used. Oh.
Copy !req
704. You know, I don't wanna sound like a queer or
nothin', but I think you've got a really nice ass.
Copy !req
705. Uh, thanks?
Copy !req
706. Sure, dude.
Copy !req
707. What the hell?
G- Fresh, what happened to you, man?
Copy !req
708. How'd you get that scratch? Oh,
I'm sorry, G. I'm closing down.
Copy !req
709. I have to be out in two weeks.
What? Why?
Copy !req
710. Oh, the punks from next door
got me to agree.
Copy !req
711. You signed the papers?
Oh, they came in the other day...
Copy !req
712. and just whupped
my sorry black ass.
Copy !req
713. Oh!
Did you call the police?
Copy !req
714. I make you guys
last sushi for half price.
Copy !req
715. Um, just give me tuna, salmon, shrimp.
Copy !req
716. We've got to help him, Joe.
Copy !req
717. Oh, right. What are we gonna do
against a gang of thugs?
Copy !req
718. Well, look, you and I are both
great martial artists, right?
Copy !req
719. I mean, we're pretty good. And I'm willing to bet
that between the two of us, we can take these guys.
Copy !req
720. Those guys probably have guns, Ben.
Martial arts don't stop guns.
Copy !req
721. Jesus!
Where?
Copy !req
722. Joe, I just got the most
amazing idea ever.
Copy !req
723. The Orgazmorator, Joe-
You can use the Orgazmorator as a weapon.
Copy !req
724. You can stun anybody who has a gun, take 'em
outta commission, and then we kick their asses.
Copy !req
725. - Are you nuts? That- That won't work.
- Why not?
Copy !req
726. Well, even if we succeeded, those
guys would come after us eventually.
Copy !req
727. We can use disguises. We can cover
ourselves up so nobody can recognize us.
Copy !req
728. That won't work.
Why not?
Copy !req
729. Because it won't, gosh-darn it!
Copy !req
730. I'll tell ya somethin', Joe.
Copy !req
731. There's nothing sadder...
than a sad Japanese man.
Copy !req
732. Boy, I'll say.
Copy !req
733. So, what do you say, pal?
Copy !req
734. We can wear disguises?
Copy !req
735. We look ridiculous.
Copy !req
736. Come on. Hey, listen, it's the way
people in this club dress, all right?
Copy !req
737. We gotta fit in.
Put this shit on.
Copy !req
738. All right, so what's the plan?
Why you asking me?
Copy !req
739. Okay. We go in the front door,
Copy !req
740. uh, walk to the back,
grab the contracts,
Copy !req
741. and if one of the thugs tries to stop us,
we fuck his shit up!
Copy !req
742. That's a great plan, Ben.
Really well thought out.
Copy !req
743. Let's kick some ass, baby!
Copy !req
744. Head to the back!
Copy !req
745. Come on, Joe. Up the stairs!
Copy !req
746. Ah, it's locked. Too bad.
Don't worry.
Copy !req
747. I got the slim Johnson.
Copy !req
748. - Ha-ha!
- What the fuck is this?
Copy !req
749. You have a contract signed by G-Fresh.
We want it back!
Copy !req
750. You gotta be fucking kidding me, right?
Copy !req
751. Jimmy, kick their ass.
You kick their asses.
Copy !req
752. Jimmy, kick their asses. I'm tired of kickin'
everybody's ass. I'm not kickin' their asses.
Copy !req
753. Yeah, my heart bleeds for you.
Kick their fuckin' asses.
Copy !req
754. Go. Guppy, play.
Copy !req
755. Un-zaah!
Copy !req
756. Come here, you little-
whatever you are.
Copy !req
757. Joe!
Copy !req
758. I'll kill you!
Copy !req
759. Where's the contract?
What contract?
Copy !req
760. Goddamn it,
I'm not gonna ask you again!
Copy !req
761. All right! All right already!
It's over there.
Copy !req
762. Got it.
Copy !req
763. I strongly suggest you don't mess
with G-Fresh anymore!
Copy !req
764. You mess with him,
we mess with you!
Copy !req
765. Bye-bye. God bless.
Copy !req
766. Look out, suckers!
Copy !req
767. Rocko! Stop them!
Copy !req
768. Curses!
Copy !req
769. Curses?
Copy !req
770. Whoo! Yeah!
God, that kicked ass, didn't it?
Copy !req
771. No, it was horrible!
What are you talkin' about?
Copy !req
772. Now, we got in there, we kicked their
ass, got the contract and got out!
Copy !req
773. Fuck, dude, it couldn't be
scripted any better than that.
Copy !req
774. Actually, I take that back. That guy was
pointing a gun at me. He could've shot me, Ben.
Copy !req
775. Man, all I know is the little guys
always get stepped on.
Copy !req
776. Tonight we did some stepping! Well, all I
know is I gotta get the heck outta Los Angeles.
Copy !req
777. Way too much weird stuff
goes on here.
Copy !req
778. Surprise!
Copy !req
779. - Aah! Hi, honey!
- Lisa, what are you doing here?
Copy !req
780. I couldn't take it anymore. Daddy lent me
some money to come out. Isn't that great?
Copy !req
781. No! I mean- I mean, boy-boy, I'll say.
Copy !req
782. - How long you staying?
- Until the show's over.
Copy !req
783. - Aah!
- Aah! I know!
Copy !req
784. I know. I know, I know, I know. Living
together before we're married is strange.
Copy !req
785. But I figure, heck, the Lord won't be angry
as long as I sleep on the couch, right?
Copy !req
786. Uh- Uh, actually, I don't know, Lis. The, uh- The
Lord's kinda tricky when it comes to stuff like that.
Copy !req
787. - Oh!
- Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. Uh-
Copy !req
788. Wow, this is a much nicer apartment
than I thought you'd have.
Copy !req
789. Yeah, I got some new stuff.
Copy !req
790. Oh, when is your next shoot?
I wanna come and watch.
Copy !req
791. Uh, it's, uh, sold out.
I mean, it's a closed set.
Copy !req
792. Oh, well, I'm sure you can get me in.
Copy !req
793. I doubt it.
Copy !req
794. Oh, this place is such a mess. I can't
stand for you to see it like this.
Copy !req
795. What are you talking about?
It is spotless.
Copy !req
796. Joe? Joe, what is the matter?
Copy !req
797. Aren't you glad see me?
Haven't you missed me?
Copy !req
798. Hmm? You have no idea how
much I've missed you, Lis.
Copy !req
799. Almost forgotten
how beautiful you are.
Copy !req
800. Oh, Joe.
Copy !req
801. Oh.
Copy !req
802. Hello.
Shut up.
Copy !req
803. How ya doin', A-Cup?
Fuck you.
Copy !req
804. Hey!
Copy !req
805. Come here.
Copy !req
806. Now get the fuck outta here. Ohh.
Action.!
Copy !req
807. I should have known you'd team
up with Neutered Man, Lobstra!
Copy !req
808. That's right, Choda Boy. And if
you don't tell me where Orgazmo is,
Copy !req
809. I'll... screw you to death!
Copy !req
810. I'd like to see you try!
Copy !req
811. All right.
Copy !req
812. Just let me
get out of these clothes.
Copy !req
813. Mmm. Ohh!
Copy !req
814. Where you want me?
You're not in the shot yet.
Copy !req
815. Oh. Oh, sorry.
Copy !req
816. - Stop it.!
- Mmm.
Copy !req
817. Whoo!
Stop grabbing my ass!
Copy !req
818. Come on, baby. Knock it
off. We're not rolling!
Copy !req
819. I'd say we are.
Ow!
Copy !req
820. Hey, hey, leave her alone. Don't
you fuckin' tell me what to do!
Copy !req
821. Just leave her alone. You
don't have any right- Kee-yaah!
Copy !req
822. Who?
Copy !req
823. Oh, yeah? You want some?
You want some more?
Copy !req
824. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Copy !req
825. A- Cup, look what you did here!
Copy !req
826. They're supposed to work
in the next scene.
Copy !req
827. I'm sorry, Uncle Orbison.
He provoked me.
Copy !req
828. The both of you two better stop scrappin' or
else you'll be sleepin' with the fishes, see?
Copy !req
829. Merry Christmas.
Oh!
Copy !req
830. He totally started it, Mr. Orbison. I
- Just get to makeup, Hung.
Copy !req
831. Are you okay?
Copy !req
832. Yeah. Thanks for tryin' to help, Joe.
You know, he could've really hurt me.
Copy !req
833. Ow.
Copy !req
834. - Action.
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
835. - Oh, no!
- Mm, yeah.!
Copy !req
836. Oh, no. Do something, Choda Dog!
Mmm!
Copy !req
837. Oh, quickly, Choda Dog,
bite through these ropes.!
Copy !req
838. Indistinct ]
Copy !req
839. No, I gotta take a piss.
Copy !req
840. Try nipple accelerator, Orgazmo.
Copy !req
841. Thanks, Choda Boy.
That's just what I need.
Copy !req
842. Joe? But what has Jizzmaster Zero done with
the little, fat, retarded kid from Boise?
Copy !req
843. - I don't know.
- We must find Jizzmaster Zero.
Copy !req
844. Here they come, Choda Boy.! Duck.!
Copy !req
845. Excuse me, what movie is this?
Copy !req
846. What movie's this?
Have you been livin' in a cardboard box, lady?
Copy !req
847. - No, I'm from Utah.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
848. Joe, Joe, these are two of
the hottest porn stars in Japan-
Copy !req
849. Natsuko and Haruko.
Copy !req
850. - Hi!
- How do you do?
Copy !req
851. Now, Natsuko, you go sit over here,
right on the bed. Very good.
Copy !req
852. And, Haruko,
you sit right here, darling.
Copy !req
853. Now, when we roll cameras,
Natsuko, you say,
Copy !req
854. "There is no escaping us,
Orgazmo. "
Copy !req
855. There is no escaping us,
Orgazmo.
Copy !req
856. Good. And, Haruko, you say,
"Prepare to meet your doom.!"
Copy !req
857. Prepare da meet...
Copy !req
858. so dung.
Copy !req
859. Good. Close enough.
Joe, you say,
Copy !req
860. "I'll find a way to break free,
Ass-Fuck Twins!"
Copy !req
861. I'll find a way to brea-
Copy !req
862. - Oh, uh, I-I can't say that.
- Say what?
Copy !req
863. - What are they called?
- The Ass-Fuck Twins.
Copy !req
864. - I- I can't say that. Can we call 'em
something else? - But they're the Ass-Fuck Twins.
Copy !req
865. Well, I know, but, um, couldn't I call them
the Naughty Twins or something?
Copy !req
866. No, you couldn't just call them the
Naughty Twins. They're the Ass-Fuck Twins.
Copy !req
867. Why would you call them the Naughty Twins
when they get fucked in the ass all the time?
Copy !req
868. Well, that's pretty naughty.
Copy !req
869. Look, Hung. I've been pretty patient
with you, but it's wearing thin.
Copy !req
870. Now, my need
to kiss your ass is over!
Copy !req
871. So you better shape up, kiddo.
Copy !req
872. Understood?
Yes, sir.
Copy !req
873. Okay. Let's shoot this.
Copy !req
874. Roll camera.
Copy !req
875. And action!
Copy !req
876. Hmm.
Copy !req
877. There is no escaping us,
Orgazmo.
Copy !req
878. Prepare da me your doo.
Copy !req
879. I'll find a way to break free,
Copy !req
880. A- Ass-Fuck Twins.
Copy !req
881. - Get away from him, Ass-Fuck Twins!
- Chodi Bo!
Copy !req
882. That's right!
Copy !req
883. Let's see how you like my cock rocket!
Copy !req
884. - Hmm.
- Cock rocket!
Copy !req
885. Cut, cut, cut.!
Goddamn it, cut.!
Copy !req
886. You call that an explosion, Chapleski?
Copy !req
887. I told you to make it bigger!
Copy !req
888. All right, mellow out.
I'll make it bigger.
Copy !req
889. - Jesus.
- Where?
Copy !req
890. The both of you two assholes
get off of my set.!
Copy !req
891. We'll just shoot the fucking sex.
Copy !req
892. Bring me my stunt cock.
Copy !req
893. Stunt cock.
Stunt cock.
Copy !req
894. Hey, how ya doin'?
Copy !req
895. Just get in there and fuck.
But I haven't slapped my ass yet.
Copy !req
896. Move, fuck boy!
Copy !req
897. Yeah. Yeah.
Ass-Fuck Twins! Whoo!
Copy !req
898. Boy, I've never seen
Mr. Orbison like that.
Copy !req
899. Yeah, he's a first-class asshole,
that's for sure.
Copy !req
900. See you tomorrow.
Good night.
Copy !req
901. Oh, hey, Joe.
Oh, hi, Dave.
Copy !req
902. You know, you did a good job
in there today, man. Thanks.
Copy !req
903. Thanks. I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin',
but I'd kinda like to make love to you tonight.
Copy !req
904. Good-bye, Choda Boy.
Good night.
Copy !req
905. Oh, excuse me. Hey, boss.
This guy looks really familiar.
Copy !req
906. Of course he looks familiar.
He's Choda Boy in the film.
Copy !req
907. Oh, yeah, that's right.
Choda Boy. Good stuff.
Copy !req
908. - You work for Orbison?
- Is there a problem, Chapleski?
Copy !req
909. No. No, there's no problem.
Excuse me.
Copy !req
910. Hi, cupcake. I'm home.
Copy !req
911. Orgazmo!
And Choda Boy!
Copy !req
912. I'll use my Orgazmorator.
Copy !req
913. Nice shot.!
Copy !req
914. Uh, how's it going?
Copy !req
915. Joe, how could you?
Copy !req
916. Lisa, listen to me. You had your heart
so set on being married in the temple,
Copy !req
917. and- and having a nice place to live,
and I wanted to have it all for you.
Copy !req
918. But you had to know
that I didn't want this.
Copy !req
919. I- It all happened so fast, Lis, but-
Copy !req
920. Fie on you, Satan!
Copy !req
921. Lisa, I- I thought nobody would never know.
I- I had no idea it would get this popular.
Copy !req
922. How could you have sex
with all of those women?
Copy !req
923. I didn't have sex with 'em.
It was a stunt cock.
Copy !req
924. A stunt... cock?
Copy !req
925. Yeah.
Copy !req
926. So- So you aren't actually
touching those women's...
Copy !req
927. breasts?
Copy !req
928. Oh, no.
That's all just special effects.
Copy !req
929. Really?
No.
Copy !req
930. Lisa, I love you.
Copy !req
931. And-And I did this all for you
and for-for us.
Copy !req
932. Is this what you think
Heavenly Father has intended for you?
Copy !req
933. I don't know, Lisa. All I know is
that I'm finally good at something.
Copy !req
934. You have to quit, Joe.
Copy !req
935. You have to quit right now
and get back to Utah.
Copy !req
936. I can't quit, Lisa.
We're still shooting.
Copy !req
937. But- But what about me?
Copy !req
938. Lisa, It's two more days; two more days of
shooting and then we'll have all the money we need.
Copy !req
939. I don't want the money
if this is how you have to earn it!
Copy !req
940. - Well, I don't know how else I can earn it!
- Joe, it is wrong!
Copy !req
941. Would you just stop hollerin' at me?
Criminy!
Copy !req
942. I guess we don't have
anything else to say.
Copy !req
943. I don't know what's
happened to you, Joe.
Copy !req
944. But I hope you're happy
in the life you've chosen.
Copy !req
945. Don't quote Dickens
in my apartment!
Copy !req
946. That's right. It's my house!
Copy !req
947. Ooh, come on now.
Copy !req
948. Come on baby. Ohh, ohh, yeah!
Copy !req
949. Shake that ass now.! Come on.
Come on. Move that ass, baby.
Copy !req
950. Ooh, oh, yeah!
Copy !req
951. Oh, that's a baby now.
Lisa!
Copy !req
952. Ohh, you feel so good inside, baby.
Lisa!
Copy !req
953. Come on. Who's your
little flower now? Lisa.
Copy !req
954. Lisa.!
Who's your little flower now?
Copy !req
955. That's right, baby. Come on.
Give it to Mama now.!
Copy !req
956. Give it to Mama. Come on.!
Aw, heck!
Copy !req
957. - What's your name again?
- I am Sancho.
Copy !req
958. Look, I get a lot of people
auditioning all the time.
Copy !req
959. What makes you think you'd
be good at porno? I am Sancho.
Copy !req
960. That's great,
but what do you do?
Copy !req
961. What do I do? I am Sancho.
Copy !req
962. - And?
- And there are many Jeffs in the world...
Copy !req
963. and many Toms as well.
Copy !req
964. But I... am Sancho.
Copy !req
965. - And?
- Are you Sancho?
Copy !req
966. No, you are not Sancho.
Copy !req
967. Neither is Scott Baio Sancho.
Frank Gifford, he's not Sancho.
Copy !req
968. - But I-
- You are Sancho!
Copy !req
969. - That's right.
- Okay, you're hired.
Copy !req
970. Of course.
You get a hundred bucks a scene.
Copy !req
971. We're shooting one tonight. It's on
the volcano set with the Ass-Fuck Twins.
Copy !req
972. Yeah? Boss, Joe Young's here to see
you. He says it's very important.
Copy !req
973. Goddamn it. Send him in.
Copy !req
974. What do you want, Hung?
I'm very, very busy.
Copy !req
975. Well, Mr. Orbison,
I just came by to tell you that...
Copy !req
976. I have to quit.
Oh, my God, it's Orgazmo!
Copy !req
977. I'm not Orgazmo!
I am Sancho.
Copy !req
978. You see, Mr. Orbison, my-my fiancée came
in from out of town, and everything just-
Copy !req
979. Well, dang it, I just have to
get back to Utah and marry her!
Copy !req
980. Get outta here.
I'll see you on set tomorrow.
Copy !req
981. No, I'm serious. I-
Copy !req
982. I appreciate everything you've done for me,
but I have to say no.
Copy !req
983. My contract does state
that I can leave whenever I want.
Copy !req
984. Wait a minute, kid.
You're forgetting something.
Copy !req
985. - What?
- That contracts don't mean shit to me!
Copy !req
986. Now, you're gonna finish this film, and
then do you know what you're gonna do?
Copy !req
987. - No.
- You're gonna do Orgazmo 3,
Copy !req
988. Orgazmo 4, Orgazmo 5, Orgazmo
Twenty-fucking-seven if I want you to!
Copy !req
989. - And do you know why?
- No.
Copy !req
990. Because I'm Maxxx Orbison,
and I get what I want!
Copy !req
991. Now- Now, hold on a minute, Mr. Orbison.
I said I don't wanna do it.
Copy !req
992. - And you don't-you don't own me.
- You wanna bet I don't, punk?
Copy !req
993. Now, I'm warning you, kid:
Don't fuck with me.!
Copy !req
994. Now, you go home and you tell your
little fiancée that the wedding is off,
Copy !req
995. and you have your ass back here
tomorrow a. M.!
Copy !req
996. Or else you'll be sleeping
with the fishes. See?
Copy !req
997. Send in the next audition.
Copy !req
998. You know, I have had enough
of your poop, Mr. Orbison.
Copy !req
999. Find yourself another Orgazmo!
Copy !req
1000. I'm warnin' you, Hung!
Copy !req
1001. Good-bye!
Copy !req
1002. Not so fast, happy pants.
Copy !req
1003. Fss-sss-aaa-aah!
No. No.
Copy !req
1004. It's his decision. Let him go.
Copy !req
1005. Hm!
Copy !req
1006. You should've let me whup his ass,
Uncle Orbison!
Copy !req
1007. No, we don't need him all messed up
for the shoot tomorrow.
Copy !req
1008. There's another way.
Copy !req
1009. Joe?
Copy !req
1010. Joe, it's me.
Copy !req
1011. Joe, come on. Can we please
just talk about this some more?
Copy !req
1012. Joe.
Hi, Ben.
Copy !req
1013. Man, I just tried callin' you. I've got some
big news. No, no, no. I've got big news too.
Copy !req
1014. I just quit.
What?
Copy !req
1015. I'm goin' back to Utah to be a normal
Mormon again. I just came to say good-bye.
Copy !req
1016. I found out who's been beating
up G-Fresh. It's Orbison.
Copy !req
1017. Those thugs work for him,
Joe.
Copy !req
1018. Orbison. Wow. Boy, that guy just
thinks he owns the world, doesn't he?
Copy !req
1019. Yeah, he does.
And that's why you and I need to do somethin'.
Copy !req
1020. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Look, I might have
lost the only thing that really matters to me.
Copy !req
1021. I'm not staying in this town
another hour!
Copy !req
1022. Hey, you're gonna let Orbison extort
money from somebody like G-Fresh?
Copy !req
1023. Listen to me, Joe! You need to-
No, no. You- You listen to me, Ben.
Copy !req
1024. I don't know exactly when I lost
control of my life, but I want it back!
Copy !req
1025. No, wait a minute.
See, now you're doin' what they told ya!
Copy !req
1026. Doggone it, Ben! I'm not a superhero.
I'm a Latter-day Saint.
Copy !req
1027. Lisa?
Copy !req
1028. - Hello?
- Joe! Joe, help me!
Copy !req
1029. - Lisa, what-
- Joe!
Copy !req
1030. - I told you not to fuck with me, Hung!
- What have you done with her?
Copy !req
1031. I'm gonna send her away so you don't
have to worry about her for a while.
Copy !req
1032. Now, you be on set tomorrow a. M.,
Copy !req
1033. or else I'm not gonna send her away.
Copy !req
1034. I'm gonna blow her away.
Copy !req
1035. Do you understand what I mean?
Copy !req
1036. You mean, she'll be sleeping
with the fishes, see?
Copy !req
1037. That's right. Now, you just finish this film, and
we'll see about getting you two lovebirds back together.
Copy !req
1038. Don't hurt her- her.
Copy !req
1039. Oh.
Copy !req
1040. What should we do with her, boss, huh?
Copy !req
1041. We need some collateral.
Copy !req
1042. Twins! Take a break.
Copy !req
1043. Put her on the set.
Copy !req
1044. Joe, what the hell you doin'? He took
her, Ben. Orbison took my cupcake!
Copy !req
1045. Oh, shit!
I knew it would come to this.
Copy !req
1046. Where's the Orgazmorator? I have
to get her back. Hold on. Listen.
Copy !req
1047. Orbison's mansion is like a fortress, Joe. There's
no way you can do this by yourself. I know.
Copy !req
1048. That's why I need you. Damn, Joe.
I've never seen you like this.
Copy !req
1049. I'm pissed off.
Copy !req
1050. - Help me! Help!
- Will you shut up?
Copy !req
1051. You pig! You're the one responsible
for degrading all of those women!
Copy !req
1052. Hey, hey, what about men, huh?
He degrades them too.
Copy !req
1053. Yeah, men are equally degraded
in pornographic films.
Copy !req
1054. But men are always
in a position of power.
Copy !req
1055. The men are the one who want the
product so bad. They're the victims.!
Copy !req
1056. Well, then it exploits men
by exploiting women.
Copy !req
1057. Hence, it exploits people.
Copy !req
1058. - Shut up!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
1059. I do what I do,
and I make a lot of money.
Copy !req
1060. - And I don't give a shit what I do to people, because they are all idiots!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
1061. Especially you, Clark,
you pig-fucking hunk o' shit!
Copy !req
1062. - Yeah!
- Men like you make the Lord sick!
Copy !req
1063. Jesus is gonna put an end to you.
Copy !req
1064. If Jesus Christ wants
to bring Maxxx Orbison down,
Copy !req
1065. he's gonna need a lot of help.
Copy !req
1066. Quick! To the Orgazmobile!
Copy !req
1067. What?
My Buick Century.
Copy !req
1068. He sent his son to die for me
Copy !req
1069. He didn't have to do that
Man, this shit has got to go!
Copy !req
1070. You better hope your little boyfriend finishes
my film, or else I'm gonna release this instead.
Copy !req
1071. I think we should start
with a close-up of my ass!
Copy !req
1072. Welcome to Hollywood.
Copy !req
1073. We can't go through the main gate or we'll be
spotted. Can you climb the wall with that thing on?
Copy !req
1074. I'll sure as Abraham try.
Right.
Copy !req
1075. Come on. Get that camera up!
Don't yell at me.
Copy !req
1076. I'm not used to workin' like this.
Man, these European videos are kinky!
Copy !req
1077. This'll be cake!
Yeah.
Copy !req
1078. Oh, shit! Over the wall! Ow!
Copy !req
1079. - Joe!
- Aah!
Copy !req
1080. Oh.
Copy !req
1081. Oh. Hey.
Copy !req
1082. Oh. Ah! Bad dog.
Copy !req
1083. Huh. I didn't know it
worked on animals. Bad, bad-
Copy !req
1084. Ben, could- could you
give me a hand here, Ben?
Copy !req
1085. Bad dog. Shoo!
Copy !req
1086. - That's a bad dog. Oh!
- Dude, that's fucked up.
Copy !req
1087. Okay, I'm ready.
Finally!
Copy !req
1088. Okay, people, let's do this.
Roll camera.
Copy !req
1089. Drop him.
Right.
Copy !req
1090. Hey.! This is private property.
Copy !req
1091. - Where's the woman you kidnapped?
- Hung?
Copy !req
1092. Hung, is that you? Don't you think you're
taking this role a little bit too seriously?
Copy !req
1093. - Where's my fiancée, butt lord?
- Let's just say your fiancée is getting an education in the industry.
Copy !req
1094. Yeah, she's gonna be a star,
just like you.
Copy !req
1095. Why, you dirty so-and-so!
Copy !req
1096. I've been waiting for this!
Copy !req
1097. Son of a bitch!
Copy !req
1098. Need a hand?
Copy !req
1099. Excuse me?
Copy !req
1100. Fuck off! You dirty
girl! Oh, I can do that.
Copy !req
1101. Na-tooki!
Copy !req
1102. John Quang Doe.
Huh?
Copy !req
1103. No problem.
Copy !req
1104. Ha-ha-ha! You twerp!
Copy !req
1105. Now I got ya!
Copy !req
1106. Sayonara.
Copy !req
1107. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1108. Who are you?
I am Sancho.
Copy !req
1109. Shit, dude.
Copy !req
1110. Get off of me, you stupid-
Copy !req
1111. Ow! Get off of me! Oww!
Copy !req
1112. Ow.! Off me.! Boss! We
got a problem. He's here!
Copy !req
1113. - Who's here?
- Orgazmo! The real Orgazmo!
Copy !req
1114. There is no real Orgazmo,
you dipshit.
Copy !req
1115. Aa-aa-aah!
Copy !req
1116. - Let the woman go right now!
- Who the hell are you?
Copy !req
1117. I said, let her go!
Copy !req
1118. Get this fuck!
Copy !req
1119. Show me what you got!
Come right here! Come-
Copy !req
1120. Catch.
Copy !req
1121. Oh, yeah? Think you can use some
of that pussy shit on me, man?
Copy !req
1122. Get up now.!
I'm gonna whup your ass.!
Copy !req
1123. Then I'm gonna
boink your girlfriend.
Copy !req
1124. Lisa!
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1125. - Joe!
- Now it's your turn, shorty.
Copy !req
1126. Oh, you son of a bitch! Aah!
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1127. Whoo!
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1128. Come on, shit bird.
Copy !req
1129. Come on.
Copy !req
1130. Ben! Use your hamster style.
Copy !req
1131. No, I can't!
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1132. Hamster style, Ben! Do it!
Copy !req
1133. No!
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1134. Hey, Dad. I don't think I'm gonna
do hamster style anymore.
Copy !req
1135. - That's nice.
- Huuh!
Copy !req
1136. That's nice. That's nice.
Copy !req
1137. That's nice.
Copy !req
1138. You're an asshole.
Copy !req
1139. Easy shot.
Copy !req
1140. Huh?
Copy !req
1141. Oh, shit! We're out
of battery power! What?
Copy !req
1142. Ho-ho! It looks like you're up
fucked river now, eh, kiddo?
Copy !req
1143. Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.!
One more step and I'll slice her.
Copy !req
1144. Joe! Did you think you could
beat me, you cocky prick?
Copy !req
1145. Did you really think that
a stupid little twerp like you...
Copy !req
1146. could stop Maxxx Orbison?
Copy !req
1147. You've done a lot of
fucking damage here, pal.
Copy !req
1148. - And you're gonna pay me back every cent of it.!
- Please, Mr. Orbison, don't hurt her.
Copy !req
1149. I told you not to fuck with me!
What did I say?
Copy !req
1150. That I'd be sleeping
with the fishes, see?
Copy !req
1151. That's right. I own this town.!
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1152. I'm the mayor, I'm the governor,
I'm the police and the crime!
Copy !req
1153. And who the hell are you
to change that?
Copy !req
1154. Got it!
Copy !req
1155. I'm Orgazmo.
Copy !req
1156. Wha-
Hmm?
Copy !req
1157. Enough! He's never gonna
want to have an orgasm again.
Copy !req
1158. One more for Jesus.
Copy !req
1159. Looks like he's sleeping
with the fishes. See?
Copy !req
1160. Lisa, are you okay?
Did he hurt you?
Copy !req
1161. What? Oh, I'm sorry. Here.
Oww!
Copy !req
1162. Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry.
What were you trying to say?
Copy !req
1163. Don't pull the tape off my mouth. Oh.
Copy !req
1164. Oh, Joe, I was so scared. Oh, I know,
Lis. I'm sorry. This is all my fault.
Copy !req
1165. I- You were right and I was
wrong, and- Oh, look, Joe, Joe.
Copy !req
1166. It's okay.
Copy !req
1167. Oh, Lisa, this is- this is
Choda Boy. I- I mean, Ben. Hello.
Copy !req
1168. - Ma'am.
- Oh, uh, Joe-
Copy !req
1169. I'll explain later, Lis.
Right.
Copy !req
1170. Just one more thing, Orby.
I did what you asked me. Huh?
Copy !req
1171. Cock rocket!
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1172. Burn, man, burn.!
Copy !req
1173. Wow, that's a heck of
a cock rocket, Ben.
Copy !req
1174. Mark my words-
I'll get you for this!
Copy !req
1175. This has really been
a learning experience for me.
Copy !req
1176. Yeah, I've learned a lot
about myself tonight.
Copy !req
1177. Ben, I'm... sorry you had
to use your hamster style.
Copy !req
1178. No, it's okay.
Copy !req
1179. In fact, I think
it's a good thing.
Copy !req
1180. All these years, I don't know
what I've been running from.
Copy !req
1181. Maybe I've been runnin' from my
- From yourself. Right.
Copy !req
1182. Right.
Copy !req
1183. Come on, Joe.
Let's get out of here.
Copy !req
1184. We don't want to have to explain
this to the cops. You're right.
Copy !req
1185. I think we've done enough damage to this
little operation anyway. Farewell, evildoers.
Copy !req
1186. Whoa! Bummer, dude.
What happened here?
Copy !req
1187. Some superhero
destroyed the house.
Copy !req
1188. Oh. My name's Dave.
Copy !req
1189. I am Sancho.
Copy !req
1190. I don't mean to sound
like a queer or nothing,
Copy !req
1191. but I think fire is very romantic.
Copy !req
1192. This is the last of the
bedroom stuff. Oh, great.
Copy !req
1193. - Hey, kids.
- Hi, Choda Boy.
Copy !req
1194. All ready to leave, huh?
Copy !req
1195. Yeah, I, uh-
Copy !req
1196. I guess so.
So, I...
Copy !req
1197. guess there's no more...
Copy !req
1198. Orgazmo and Choda Boy.
Copy !req
1199. No, I- I don't think so.
Copy !req
1200. So, maybe someday
I could come to Utah.
Copy !req
1201. It was- It was really good
meeting you, really good.
Copy !req
1202. Yeah. There was a lot
of good stuff goin' on.
Copy !req
1203. Whole lot of good stuff.
Good stuff.
Copy !req
1204. Good, good stuff.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1205. Kind of stuff that... makes
you feel good. It's good.
Copy !req
1206. - Yeah, Joe.
- Oh, Joe!
Copy !req
1207. I can't let you do this.
Oh, God!
Copy !req
1208. Joe, this really is crazy, but I think
you might have been right.
Copy !req
1209. What?
Oh, Joe, it is so hard to know...
Copy !req
1210. what Heavenly Father wants from us
or what he has in mind.
Copy !req
1211. This whole thing is just too
gosh-darn wacky to be coinky-dink!
Copy !req
1212. Maybe this is what Heavenly Father
has intended for you.
Copy !req
1213. Oh, Lisa.
Copy !req
1214. Oh, Joe!
Copy !req
1215. Whoa.! They're goin' crazy.!
Copy !req
1216. Ohh, ho-ho-ho!
Copy !req
1217. Ben, L.A. needs us.
Copy !req
1218. The world needs us. Heck, I think
the whole universe needs us!
Copy !req
1219. You mean, you're gonna stay? I think
you guys need to clean up Los Angeles.
Copy !req
1220. Well, there's nothin' that can stop us!
Well, crime fighting will have a new name!
Copy !req
1221. From now on, if someone wants to turn to a life
of crime, they'll have to answer to Orgazmo.
Copy !req
1222. - And Choda Boy!
- Oh! This is so wonderful! Let's pray.
Copy !req
1223. Oh, boy, look at the time.
Now, Choda Boy,
Copy !req
1224. superheroes that pray together
stay together.
Copy !req
1225. Ah, what the fuck.
Copy !req
1226. Heavenly Father, may we serve you
in the best way we know how.
Copy !req
1227. May our decisions be rash, may we
do what's right, and God bless us.
Copy !req
1228. God bless us, every one!
Copy !req
1229. Oh!
Oh!
Copy !req
1230. Ah!
Hey, hey, hey!
Copy !req
1231. Ahh!
Copy !req
1232. Choda Boy.!
Copy !req
1233. Oh, well, Doc, how bad is it?
Copy !req
1234. Isn't good, Mr. Orbison. There's
a problem... with your little guy.
Copy !req
1235. What's wrong with my little guy?
Copy !req
1236. Well, I'm afraid your testicles have
swollen to the size of Florida oranges.
Copy !req
1237. Don't you think I noticed that!
Copy !req
1238. Tell me somethin' I don't know,
you cocky prick!
Copy !req
1239. We're gonna have to
amputate your pee-pee.
Copy !req
1240. I've got you now, Joe Young!
Copy !req
1241. Soon you'll be meeting up with...
Copy !req
1242. Neutered Man!
Copy !req
1243. Hey
Copy !req
1244. What makes a man
Is it the power in his hands
Copy !req
1245. Is it his quest for glory
Copy !req
1246. Give it all you got to
to fight to the top
Copy !req
1247. So we can know your story
Copy !req
1248. Now you're a man
A man
Copy !req
1249. A man, man, man
Copy !req
1250. Now you're a man a
manny, manny, man A man
Copy !req
1251. A man, man, man
A man
Copy !req
1252. You are now a man
You're a man
Copy !req
1253. Now you're a man
Copy !req
1254. Live it, live it
Copy !req
1255. What makes a man
Is it the woman in his arms
Copy !req
1256. Just 'cause she has big titties
Copy !req
1257. Or is it the way he fights everyday
Copy !req
1258. No, it's probably the titties
Copy !req
1259. Now you're a male a
male, male, male A man
Copy !req
1260. Now you're a ma-male
A man
Copy !req
1261. A ma-male, ma-male, male
Now you're a male
Copy !req
1262. A man
M- A-N, man, man
Copy !req
1263. Ma-Man, man
Copy !req
1264. Now you're a man
Copy !req
1265. Onward, Latter-day soldier
Copy !req
1266. Spread the word of Christ
Copy !req
1267. And Heavenly Father's vision
Copy !req
1268. Of everybody being really nice
Copy !req
1269. He sent his son to die for me
Copy !req
1270. He didn't have to do that
Copy !req
1271. Onward, Latter-day soldier
Copy !req
1272. Spread the word
Copy !req
1273. Of Christ
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