1. Mother shitter,
son of an ass—Copy !req
2. You— I'll just—Copy !req
3. I was told— Have you—Copy !req
4. I was told that if I was late again,
I would be summarily dismissed.Copy !req
5. Corporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking.Copy !req
6. Just a moment.Copy !req
7. Corporate Accounts Payable.
Nina speaking.Copy !req
8. Just a moment.Copy !req
9. Corporate Accounts Payable.
Nina speaking.Copy !req
10. Just a moment.Copy !req
11. Corporate Accounts Payable.
Nina speaking.Copy !req
12. Just a moment.Copy !req
13. Corporate Accounts Payable. Nina speaking.
Just a moment.Copy !req
14. Corporate Accounts Payable.
Nina speaking.Copy !req
15. Hello, Peter.
What's happening?Copy !req
16. Uh, we have sort of a problem here.Copy !req
17. Yeah, you apparently didn't put one of
the new cover sheets on your T.P.S. reports.Copy !req
18. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that.
I-I forgot.Copy !req
19. Mmm, yeah.Copy !req
20. You see, we're putting the cover sheets on
all T.P.S. reports now before they go out.Copy !req
21. Did you see the memo about this?Copy !req
22. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I have the memo right here.
I just, uh, forgot.Copy !req
23. But it's not shipping out till tomorrow,
so there's no problem.Copy !req
24. Yeah.Copy !req
25. If you could just go ahead and make sure you
do that from now on, that would be great.Copy !req
26. And, uh, I'll go ahead and make sure you get
another copy of that memo.Copy !req
27. - Mm-kay? Bye-bye, Peter.
- Yeah, no, I have the memo.Copy !req
28. I've got it. It's right—Copy !req
29. Hello, Phil. What's happening?Copy !req
30. Uh, I came by here yesterday—Copy !req
31. - Milton?Copy !req
32. Hi. Uh, could you turn that down
just a little bit?Copy !req
33. Well, I-I was told that I could
listen to the radio...Copy !req
34. at a reasonable volume
from 9:00 to 1 1 :00.Copy !req
35. Yeah, no, no,
I know you're allowed to. I, uh—Copy !req
36. I was just thinking maybe like,
you know, a personal favor, you—Copy !req
37. Well, I-I told Bill that if-if Sandra's going
to listen to her headphones...Copy !req
38. while she's— while she's filing,
then I should be able to listen...Copy !req
39. - to the radio while I'm collating.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
40. So, I don't see why I should have
to turn down the radio.Copy !req
41. - Yeah, all right. Okay.
- Because I enjoy listening...Copy !req
42. - at a reasonable volume from 9:00 to 1 1 :00.
- Thanks, Milton.Copy !req
43. Hi, Peter.Copy !req
44. What's happening? We need to talk
about your T.P.S. reports.Copy !req
45. Yeah, the cover sheet.
I know. I know.Copy !req
46. - Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
47. - Did you get that memo?
- Yeah, I got the memo.Copy !req
48. And I understand the policy and the problem
is just that I forgot the one time.Copy !req
49. I've already taken care of it,
so it's not really a problem anymore.Copy !req
50. Ah, yeah. It's just we're putting
new cover sheets...Copy !req
51. on all the T.P.S. reports
before they go out now.Copy !req
52. So, if you could go ahead and try to remember
to do that from now on, that'd be great.Copy !req
53. All right!Copy !req
54. - Peter Gibbons.
- Yeah. Peter?Copy !req
55. - Yes.
- Did you get the memo about the T.P.S. reports?Copy !req
56. I have the memo.Copy !req
57. - No, not again.Copy !req
58. Why does it say "paperjam"
when there is no paperjam?Copy !req
59. I swear to God, one of these days,
I just kick this piece of shit out the window.Copy !req
60. You and me both, man.
The thing is lucky I'm not armed.Copy !req
61. - Piece of shit.
- Sam Ire—Copy !req
62. Na— Na—
Na— Naga—Copy !req
63. - No. Please.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
64. Michael...Copy !req
65. - Bolton?
- That's me.Copy !req
66. Wow. Is that your real name?Copy !req
67. - Yeah.
- So, are you related to that singer guy?Copy !req
68. - No, it's just a coincidence.
- Oh.Copy !req
69. Yeah, you fuckin' cow.Copy !req
70. No one in this country can ever
pronounce my name right.Copy !req
71. I-It's not that hard— Nagheenanajar.
Nagheenanajar.Copy !req
72. Yeah, well, at least your name
isn't Michael Bolton.Copy !req
73. You know, there's nothing wrong
with that name.Copy !req
74. There was nothing wrong with it,
until I was about 12 years old...Copy !req
75. and that no-talent ass clown became famous
and started winning Grammys.Copy !req
76. Hmm. Why don't— Why don't you just, uh,
go by Mike instead of Michael?Copy !req
77. No way. Why should I change?
He's the one who sucks.Copy !req
78. - Hey, guys.
- What's up, G.?Copy !req
79. - Wanna go to Chotchkie's, get some coffee?
- Oh, it's a little early.Copy !req
80. I gotta get out of here.
I think I'm gonna lose it.Copy !req
81. Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's
got a case of the Mondays.Copy !req
82. Boy, I tell you.
Some days.Copy !req
83. One of these days it's just gonna be like—Copy !req
84. So, can I get you gentlemen something more
to drink, or maybe something to nibble on?Copy !req
85. Some pizza shooters,
shrimp poppers or extreme fajitas?Copy !req
86. Just coffee.Copy !req
87. Okay. Sounds like a case of the Mondays.Copy !req
88. What if we're still doing this
when we're 50?Copy !req
89. It would be nice to have
that kind ofjob security.Copy !req
90. Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday.
I-I can tell already.Copy !req
91. I'm gonna end up doing it because, uh—
because I'm a big pussy.Copy !req
92. Which is why I work
at Initech to begin with.Copy !req
93. Yeah, well, I work at Initech, and I don't
consider myself a pussy. Okay?Copy !req
94. Yes, I am also not a pussy.Copy !req
95. They're gonna find out
the hard way I'm not a pussy...Copy !req
96. - if they don't start treating
their software people better.
- That's right.Copy !req
97. I don't understand. I could program a virus
that would rip that place off big-time.Copy !req
98. - Yeah.
- Big-time.Copy !req
99. - Whoa.
- There she is.Copy !req
100. Peter, you know,
you always talk about this girl.Copy !req
101. If you're so obsessed with her,
why don't you just ask her out?Copy !req
102. No, I can't do that.
I'm just another asshole customer.Copy !req
103. You can't just walk up to a waitress
and ask her out.Copy !req
104. Besides, I'm still trying to work it out with Anne.Copy !req
105. Uh, that reminds me. I'm not going to be able
to play poker with you guys on Friday.Copy !req
106. - Why not?
- I'm gonna see this, uh...Copy !req
107. occupational hypnotherapist
with Anne.Copy !req
108. - Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist?
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
109. Anne wants me to go.
She thinks it might help. I'm—Copy !req
110. You know,
sometimes I think I—Copy !req
111. I get thinking
that she's cheating on me.Copy !req
112. - Yeah, I know what you mean.
- Yeah.Copy !req
113. What is that supposed to mean?Copy !req
114. Nothing.Copy !req
115. Look. Just tell Anne that you're not
into hypnosis and you wanna play poker.Copy !req
116. No, I can't do that.
She'll get all pissed off.Copy !req
117. And, besides, I think that the guy
might actually be able to help.Copy !req
118. I mean, he did help
Anne lose weight.Copy !req
119. Peter, she's anorexic.Copy !req
120. Yeah, I know.
The guy's really good.Copy !req
121. Yeah, well, I don't think any
occupational hypnotherapist...Copy !req
122. is gonna help you solve
any of your problems.Copy !req
123. Okay? Hey,
and speaking of problems...Copy !req
124. what's this I hear about you having problems
with your T.P.S. reports?Copy !req
125. Yeah.
Didn't you get that memo?Copy !req
126. - Hey! Hey, guys! Peter!
- Is that Smykowski?Copy !req
127. - Samir!
- What's he doing?Copy !req
128. Oh, probably working
on another heart attack.Copy !req
129. I've been looking all over for you guys.
Have you seen this?Copy !req
130. - I knew it. I knew it.
- What? It's a staff meeting. So what?Copy !req
131. So what? We're all screwed, that's what.
They're gonna downsize Initech.Copy !req
132. What are you talking about, Tom?
How do you know that?Copy !req
133. How do I know? They're bringing in
a consultant, that's how I know.Copy !req
134. That's what this staff meeting
is all about.Copy !req
135. It happened at Initrode last year.Copy !req
136. You have to interview with this consultant.
They call them "efficiency experts."Copy !req
137. But what you're really doing
is interviewing for your own job.Copy !req
138. Every week you say you're going
to lose your job, and you're still here.Copy !req
139. Not this time.
I bet I'm the first one laid off.Copy !req
140. The thought of having to go to
the state unemployment office,
to stand in line with scumbags!Copy !req
141. Shit.Copy !req
142. You know, there are people in this world
that don't have to put up with all this shit.Copy !req
143. Like that guy
that invented the Pet Rock?Copy !req
144. You see, that's what you have to do.Copy !req
145. You have to use your mind...Copy !req
146. and come up with
some really great idea like that.Copy !req
147. And you can make millions.
Never have to work again.Copy !req
148. You think the Pet Rock
was a really great idea?Copy !req
149. Sure it was.
The guy made a million dollars.Copy !req
150. You know, I had an idea like that once,
a long time ago.Copy !req
151. Really? What was it, Tom?Copy !req
152. Well, all right.Copy !req
153. It was a "jump to conclusions" mat.Copy !req
154. You see, it would be this mat...Copy !req
155. that you would put on the floor...Copy !req
156. and it would have different
conclusions written on it...Copy !req
157. that you could jump to.Copy !req
158. That is the worst idea
I've ever heard in my life, Tom.Copy !req
159. Yes. Yes, it's horrible, this idea.Copy !req
160. Uh, look, I gotta get outta here.Copy !req
161. I'll see you guys later...Copy !req
162. - if I still have a job.
- Yeah.Copy !req
163. Our high school guidance counselor
used to ask us what you would do...Copy !req
164. if you had a million dollars,
didn't have to work.Copy !req
165. And, invariably, whatever you'd say,
that was supposed to be your career.Copy !req
166. If you wanted to fix old cars,
then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.Copy !req
167. - So what did you say?
- I never had an answer.Copy !req
168. I guess that's why
I'm working at Initech.Copy !req
169. No. You're working at Initech
'cause that question is bullshit to begin with.Copy !req
170. If everyone listened to her,
there'd be no janitors...Copy !req
171. because no one would clean shit up
ifthey had a million dollars.Copy !req
172. You know what I would do
if I had million dollars?Copy !req
173. I would invest half of it
in low-risk mutual funds...Copy !req
174. and then take the other half of it to
my friend Asadulah, who works in securities—Copy !req
175. Samir. Samir, you're missing the point.
The point of the exercise...Copy !req
176. - is that you're supposed to figure out
what you would want to do if-Copy !req
177. "P.C. load letter"?
What the fuck does that mean?Copy !req
178. What the—Copy !req
179. Hey, Peter, man! Check out channel 9!Copy !req
180. - Check out this chick!
- Damn it, Lawrence.Copy !req
181. Can't you just pretend like we can't
hear each other through the wall?Copy !req
182. Oh, sorry, man!
Anne over there or somethin'?Copy !req
183. No, but... if you wanna talk to me,
just come over.Copy !req
184. Hey, man.
Check this out, dude.Copy !req
185. The key is early detection.
Tumors that are detected—Copy !req
186. - Aw, geez, Lawrence.
- I'm sorry, man. I thought you'd want to see this.Copy !req
187. Doesn't that chick look like Anne?Copy !req
188. Yeah. A little bit. I—Copy !req
189. Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while.
You two still goin' out?Copy !req
190. Yeah. I guess.
I-I don't know.Copy !req
191. Sometimes I get the feeling
like she's cheating on me.Copy !req
192. Yeah. I get that feeling too, man.Copy !req
193. What do you mean by that?Copy !req
194. I don't know, man.Copy !req
195. I just get that feeling
lookin' at her, like...Copy !req
196. she's the type of chick
that would just—Copy !req
197. Oh, I'm sorry, man.
Look, I-I—Copy !req
198. You know, I'm talkin' outta my ass.
I don't know nothin'.Copy !req
199. Forget it. Don't worry. It's all right.
Just— I had a rough day.Copy !req
200. Tell me about it, man.Copy !req
201. I gotta wake my ass up
at 6:00 a.m. Every day this week...Copy !req
202. drag up to Las Colindas.Copy !req
203. Yeah. I'm doin' the drywall up there
at the new McDonald's.Copy !req
204. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
205. When you come in on Monday
and you're not feelin' real well...Copy !req
206. does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like
someone has a case of the Mondays"?Copy !req
207. No.Copy !req
208. No, man.Copy !req
209. Shit, no, man.Copy !req
210. I believe you'd get your ass kicked,
sayin' somethin' like that, man.Copy !req
211. - Huh.
- We still goin' fishin' this weekend?Copy !req
212. Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me
come in on Saturday. I just know it.Copy !req
213. Well, you can get out
of that easily.Copy !req
214. Yeah? How?Copy !req
215. Well...Copy !req
216. when a boss wants you
to work on a Saturday...Copy !req
217. - he generally asks you at the end of the day, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
218. So all you gotta do is avoid him—
That's all right. I got it—Copy !req
219. on the last few hours on Friday,
duck out early...Copy !req
220. turn off your answering machine,
you should be home free, man.Copy !req
221. That's a really good idea.Copy !req
222. Fuckin'-A, man.Copy !req
223. Lawrence, what would you do
if you had a million dollars?Copy !req
224. I'll tell you what I'd do, man.Copy !req
225. Two chicks at the same time, man.Copy !req
226. That's it?Copy !req
227. If you had a million dollars,
y-you'd do two chicks at the same time?Copy !req
228. Damn straight.
I've always wanted to do that, man.Copy !req
229. I think if I were a millionaire,
I could hook that up too.Copy !req
230. - 'Cause chicks dig dudes with money.
- Well, not all chicks.Copy !req
231. Well, the type of chicks that would
double up on a dude like me do.Copy !req
232. - Good point.
- Well, what about you now?Copy !req
233. - What would you do?
- Besides two chicks at the same time?Copy !req
234. - Well, yeah.
- Nothing.Copy !req
235. Nothin', huh?Copy !req
236. I would relax.Copy !req
237. I would sit on my ass all day.Copy !req
238. I would do nothing.Copy !req
239. Well, you don't need
a million dollars to do nothin', man.Copy !req
240. Take a look at my cousin.
He's broke, don't do shit.Copy !req
241. Corporate Accounts Payable.
Nina speaking. Just a moment.Copy !req
242. Corporate Accounts Payable.
Nina speaking.Copy !req
243. Just a moment.Copy !req
244. Corporate Accounts Payable.
Nina speaking.Copy !req
245. Just a moment.Copy !req
246. So, you should ask yourself:Copy !req
247. With every decision you make,
is this good for the company?Copy !req
248. - Am I helping with—
- Is that the guy?Copy !req
249. Yeah. We're screwed.Copy !req
250. Okay, then, um—Copy !req
251. I'd like to go ahead and welcome,
uh, a new member to our team here.Copy !req
252. This is, uh, Bob Slydell.Copy !req
253. Yeah. Uh—Copy !req
254. Bob is a consultant.Copy !req
255. Yeah. He's gonna be sort of, uh...Copy !req
256. helping us out a little here...Copy !req
257. asking some questions, maybe seeing
ifthere are some ways...Copy !req
258. we can make things run
a little more smoothly around here.Copy !req
259. Yeah.
Oh, and remember...Copy !req
260. next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day.Copy !req
261. So, you know, if you want to,
go ahead and, uh...Copy !req
262. wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.Copy !req
263. And I said I don't care
ifthey lay me off, either.Copy !req
264. Because I told Bill that ifthey move
my desk one more time...Copy !req
265. then I'm— I'm quitting—
I'm going to quit.Copy !req
266. And I told Dom too, because they've
moved my desk four times already this year.Copy !req
267. And I used to be over
by the window...Copy !req
268. and I could see the squirrels,
and they were married.Copy !req
269. But then they switched from the Swingline
to the Boston stapler.Copy !req
270. But I kept my Swingline stapler
because it didn't bind up as much...Copy !req
271. and I kept the staples
for the Swingline stapler.Copy !req
272. - Okay, Milton.
- And, oh, no, it's not okay...Copy !req
273. because ifthey make me—
ifthey take my stapler...Copy !req
274. then I'll— I'll have to—
I'll set the building on fire.Copy !req
275. Okay, well, that sounds, uh—
that sounds great.Copy !req
276. - Uh, I'll talk to you later, all right? Bye.Copy !req
277. Oh.Copy !req
278. Yeah.Copy !req
279. Good-bye.Copy !req
280. Come on.Copy !req
281. Oh, for cryin'—Copy !req
282. Hello, Peter.
What's happening?Copy !req
283. Um...
I'm gonna need you...Copy !req
284. to go ahead and come in tomorrow.Copy !req
285. So if you could be here around...Copy !req
286. 9:00, that would be great.Copy !req
287. Mm-kay?Copy !req
288. Oh, oh, and I almost forgot.Copy !req
289. Uh, I'm also gonna need you
to go ahead and come in...Copy !req
290. on Sunday too, 'kay?Copy !req
291. We, um, lost some people this week...Copy !req
292. and, uh, we need
to sort of play catch-up.Copy !req
293. Thanks.Copy !req
294. So I was sitting
in my cubicle today, and I realized...Copy !req
295. ever since I started working, um...Copy !req
296. every single day of my life
has been worse than...Copy !req
297. the day before it.Copy !req
298. So that means that every single day
that you see me...Copy !req
299. that's on the worst day of my life.Copy !req
300. What about today?
Is today the worst day of your life?Copy !req
301. - Yeah.
- Wow. That's messed up.Copy !req
302. I'm sorry. Go on.Copy !req
303. Is there any way
that you could sort of...Copy !req
304. just zonk me out so that, like,
I don't know that I'm at work... in here?Copy !req
305. Could I come home and think that
I've been fishing all day, or something?Copy !req
306. That's... really not
what I do, Peter.Copy !req
307. However...Copy !req
308. the good news is,
I think I can help you.Copy !req
309. I want you to do something
for me, Peter.Copy !req
310. I want you to try and relax.Copy !req
311. I want you to relax
every muscle in your body...Copy !req
312. beginning with your toes
to your fingertips.Copy !req
313. Now, I want you to relax your legs.Copy !req
314. You're beginning to feel
your eyelids getting heavy...Copy !req
315. as you slip deeper and deeper...Copy !req
316. into a state of complete relaxation.Copy !req
317. All your cares and concerns
are disappearing.Copy !req
318. Deeper and deeper.
Way down.Copy !req
319. Your concern about your job...Copy !req
320. melts away...Copy !req
321. way, way down.Copy !req
322. Now, when I count
backwards from three...Copy !req
323. you'll be in a state
of complete relaxation.Copy !req
324. Your worries, cares
and inhibitions will be gone...Copy !req
325. and you will remain in that state...Copy !req
326. until I snap my fingers.Copy !req
327. Three.
Deeper and deeper.Copy !req
328. Way, way down.Copy !req
329. Two.
Deeper and deeper.Copy !req
330. W-W-Way down.Copy !req
331. Whu— Whu— One.Copy !req
332. Oh, my God! Doctor Swanson!Copy !req
333. - Ew! Ew!
- Is he breathing?Copy !req
334. - Call 911!
- Oh! Where's the phone?
Where's the goddamn phone?Copy !req
335. Hurry!Copy !req
336. - Peter!
- Hurry!Copy !req
337. Yeah, hi. It's Bill Lumbergh.Copy !req
338. It's about... 10:00.Copy !req
339. Yeah. Just, uh,
wondering where you are.Copy !req
340. Yeah. Hi.
It's Bill Lumbergh again.Copy !req
341. Uh, I just wanted to
make sure you knew...Copy !req
342. that we did start at
the, uh, usual time this morning.Copy !req
343. Yeah. It isn't a half day
or anything like that.Copy !req
344. So, if you could just go ahead...Copy !req
345. and get here as soon as possible,
that would be terrific.Copy !req
346. Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lum—Copy !req
347. - Yeah. It's—
- Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumbergh—Copy !req
348. Yeah. It's me again.
Uh, I was away from my desk for a minute.Copy !req
349. - Just checking in, in case
you called while I was gone.Copy !req
350. - Hello?
- Peter, what's going on?Copy !req
351. - Huh?
- It's 3:30. Why aren't you at work?Copy !req
352. Because I— I— I didn't feel like it.Copy !req
353. Peter, what's gotten into you?Copy !req
354. First, you just sit there
while Dr. Swanson dies.Copy !req
355. Then you just walk out of the car
and embarrass me in front of my friends.Copy !req
356. - Don't blame this on hypnosis, either.
That's total bull—Copy !req
357. Listen, asshole. Nobody hangs up on me.Copy !req
358. We're through.
Oh, and one more thing.Copy !req
359. I've been cheating on you!Copy !req
360. So, from now on,
only use the new time sheets...Copy !req
361. if you've worked on
two or more job codes in one day...Copy !req
362. and you need the extra
columns to fit it all in.Copy !req
363. - Otherwise, use the old time sheets—
- Where's Peter?Copy !req
364. I heard he didn't
show up this weekend.Copy !req
365. - Uh, I don't know.
- I think this new system
will really, really help us out.Copy !req
366. - Who the hell is that guy?
- So, uh, any questions?Copy !req
367. - Hi. I'm Peter.
- Hi. Can I help you?Copy !req
368. What are you doin' for lunch today?Copy !req
369. Uh, well, our specials today
are blackened chicken.Copy !req
370. And— It's actually right there
on the board. Excuse me.Copy !req
371. Hey, look who's back!Copy !req
372. Table for three to—Copy !req
373. I was askin' what you
were doin' for lunch.Copy !req
374. Would you like to
have lunch with me?Copy !req
375. Are you— Are you serious?Copy !req
376. Yeah.Copy !req
377. Yeah. Um, I don't— I don't think
I'm supposed to do that.Copy !req
378. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
379. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm gonna go
next door and get a table.Copy !req
380. And if you'd like to join me,
uh, no big deal, all right?Copy !req
381. And if not, that's cool too. Okay?Copy !req
382. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
383. When you say, "next door,"
do you mean Chili's or Flinger's?Copy !req
384. Flinger's.Copy !req
385. Okay.Copy !req
386. What you do at Initech is you take
the specifications from the customers...Copy !req
387. and you bring them down
to the software engineers.Copy !req
388. Yes. Y-Yes.
That's— That's right.Copy !req
389. Well, then I just have to ask...Copy !req
390. why couldn't the customers just take them
directly to the software people, huh?Copy !req
391. Well, I'll tell you why.Copy !req
392. Uh, because... engineers are not good
at dealing with customers.Copy !req
393. Uh-huh.Copy !req
394. So, you physically take the specs
from the customer?Copy !req
395. Well—Copy !req
396. No. My secretary does that,
or they're faxed.Copy !req
397. Huh.Copy !req
398. So then you must physically bring them
to the software people.Copy !req
399. Well... no.Copy !req
400. I mean, sometimes.Copy !req
401. Ah.Copy !req
402. What would you say you do here?Copy !req
403. Well, look, I already told you.Copy !req
404. I deal with the goddamn customers
so the engineers don't have to.Copy !req
405. I have people skills.
I am good at dealing with people!Copy !req
406. Can't you understand that?
What the hell is wrong with you people?Copy !req
407. I—Copy !req
408. Let's see.Copy !req
409. You are Michael...Copy !req
410. - Bolton?
- Yeah.Copy !req
411. - Is that your real name?
- Yeah.Copy !req
412. Are you any relation
to the pop singer?Copy !req
413. - No, it's— it's just a coincidence.
- I'll be honest with you.Copy !req
414. - I love his music. I do. I'm a Michael Bolton fan.
- Me too.Copy !req
415. I don't know if it gets any better than when
he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman."Copy !req
416. But you must really
love his music, huh?Copy !req
417. Yeah, he's— he's—
he's pretty-Copy !req
418. - He's pretty good, I guess.
- You're goddamn right, he is.Copy !req
419. - Right.Copy !req
420. So, tell me.
What's your favorite song of his?Copy !req
421. Mmm—Copy !req
422. I don't— I don't know.Copy !req
423. I mean, I guess I sort of like them all.Copy !req
424. That's a riot.
I'm the exact same way.Copy !req
425. But it must be twice as hard for you,
being having the same name as him.Copy !req
426. I celebrate the guy's
entire catalog.Copy !req
427. Anyway, let's get down
to business, Michael.Copy !req
428. You know, you can just call me Mike.Copy !req
429. - Hi.
- Hey.Copy !req
430. I wonder if I'm allowed
to, uh, wear this in here.Copy !req
431. I think it'll be okay.
Would you like to sit down?Copy !req
432. Okay.Copy !req
433. Wow! This place is really... nice.Copy !req
434. Yeah. Is it?Copy !req
435. Yeah, my God,
compared to Chotchkie's!Copy !req
436. I like the uniforms better, anyway.Copy !req
437. I like yours.Copy !req
438. Ugh!Copy !req
439. - "We're not in Kansas anymore."Copy !req
440. Yeah, really.Copy !req
441. It's on your—Copy !req
442. Ohh! Yeah. That's—
That's, uh—Copy !req
443. - That's one of my- my pieces of flair.
- What's a piece of flair?Copy !req
444. Oh, it's, uh, where, you know,
like these suspenders...Copy !req
445. and, uh, the buttons
are all sort of-Copy !req
446. We're actually required to wear,
um, 15 pieces of flair.Copy !req
447. It's really stupid, actually.Copy !req
448. - Do you get to pick 'em yourself?
- Yeah, yeah, we do.Copy !req
449. Although I didn't
actually choose these.Copy !req
450. I just sort of grabbed, you know,
15 buttons and just—Copy !req
451. I don't even know what they say.
You know, I don't really care.Copy !req
452. I don't really like
talking about my flair.Copy !req
453. - Okay.
- So...Copy !req
454. - where do you, uh, work, Peter?
- Initech.Copy !req
455. And, yeah, what—
what do you do there?Copy !req
456. I sit in a cubicle...Copy !req
457. and I update bank software
for the 2000 switch.Copy !req
458. - What's that?
- Well, see, they wrote all this bank software...Copy !req
459. and, uh, to save space, they used two digits
for the date instead of four.Copy !req
460. So, like, 98 instead of 1998.Copy !req
461. Uh, so I go through these
thousands of lines of code and, uh—Copy !req
462. It doesn't really matter.Copy !req
463. I, uh— I don't like
my job, and, uh...Copy !req
464. I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.Copy !req
465. - You're just not gonna go?
- Yeah.Copy !req
466. - Won't you get fired?
- I don't know.Copy !req
467. But I really don't like it
and, uh, I'm not gonna go.Copy !req
468. What, so you're gonna quit?Copy !req
469. Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh—
I'm just gonna stop going.Copy !req
470. Uh, when did you decide all of that?Copy !req
471. - About an hour ago.
- Oh, really.Copy !req
472. - Yeah.
- About an hour ago.Copy !req
473. So you're gonna get another job?Copy !req
474. I don't think I'd like another job.Copy !req
475. Well, what are you going to do
about money and bills and—Copy !req
476. You know, I've never
really liked paying bills.Copy !req
477. I don't think I'm gonna
do that, either.Copy !req
478. Uh, well, so what do you wanna do?Copy !req
479. I wanna take you out to dinner...Copy !req
480. and then I want to go back to my apartment
and watch Kung F.Copy !req
481. Do you ever watch Kung Fu?Copy !req
482. - I love Kung F.
- Channel 39.Copy !req
483. - Totally.
- You should come over
and watch Kung Fu tonight.Copy !req
484. - Okay.
- Great.Copy !req
485. Okay. Can we order lunch first?Copy !req
486. - Yeah.
- Okay.Copy !req
487. Not working out.Copy !req
488. Took a stapler off my desk—Copy !req
489. Anyway, sounds great, Bob.
See you in a few.Copy !req
490. Hi, Milton.
What's happening?Copy !req
491. - I'm sorry?
- Um, I'm going to have to ask you...Copy !req
492. to go ahead
and move your desk again.Copy !req
493. - Eh— What? No.
- So, if you could go ahead...Copy !req
494. and get it as far back against that wall
as possible...Copy !req
495. - that would be great.
- No, no, because I was—Copy !req
496. - I was told I no longer-
- That way, we'll have some room...Copy !req
497. for some of these boxes and things
we need to put in here.Copy !req
498. - There's no room.
- And, uh—Copy !req
499. Oh. Oh, there it is.Copy !req
500. - What?
- Here, let me just go ahead and get that from you.Copy !req
501. - Great.Copy !req
502. - So if you could just get to that...Copy !req
503. as soon as possible,
that would be terrific. Mm-kay?Copy !req
504. - Thanks a bunch, Milton. Good-bye.
- But—Copy !req
505. Well, okay, but...Copy !req
506. I could set the building on fire.Copy !req
507. - Peter.
- Michael.Copy !req
508. What the hell's going on, man? I thought you
were gonna come in here and start shooting.Copy !req
509. No. I just came to get my address book.
I'm not gonna stay.Copy !req
510. - I got a phone number, Mike,
that I don't wanna lose.
- What?Copy !req
511. Peter, you're in deep shit. You were
supposed to come in on Saturday.Copy !req
512. - What were you doing?
- Michael, I did nothing.Copy !req
513. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything
that I thought it could be.Copy !req
514. I hope you have a better story
than that for Lumbergh.Copy !req
515. You're supposed to be having your interview
right now with the consultants.Copy !req
516. - The who?
- The consultants.Copy !req
517. What has gotten into you?Copy !req
518. Oh, yeah. Right.Copy !req
519. Wait, Peter. Peter.
You gotta postpone it, man.Copy !req
520. Tell 'em you've been sick.
Make something up.Copy !req
521. Oh, no way.
No, I feel great.Copy !req
522. It's the best day of my life.Copy !req
523. Next batter looks
like a Peter Gibbons.Copy !req
524. - Uh-huh.
- Ah, there you are.Copy !req
525. We were just talking about you.
You must be Peter Gibbons.Copy !req
526. Uh-huh. Terrific. I'm Bob Slydell.
This is my associate Bob Porter.Copy !req
527. Oh, hi, Bob. Bob.Copy !req
528. Why don't you go ahead and grab a seat
and join us for a minute or two.Copy !req
529. You see, what we're actually trying
to do here is we're just—Copy !req
530. We're trying to get a feel for how
people spend their day at work.Copy !req
531. So, if you would, would you walk us through
a typical day for you?Copy !req
532. - Yeah.
- Great.Copy !req
533. Well, I generally come in
at least 15 minutes late.Copy !req
534. Uh, I use the side door.Copy !req
535. That way Lumbergh can't see me.Copy !req
536. And, uh— And after that...Copy !req
537. I just sort of space out
for about an hour.Copy !req
538. - Uh, "space out"?
- Yeah.Copy !req
539. I just stare at my desk,
but it looks like I'm working.Copy !req
540. I do that for, uh, probably another hour
after lunch too.Copy !req
541. I'd say in a given week, I probably
only do about 15 minutes...Copy !req
542. of real, actual work.Copy !req
543. Uh, Peter, would you
be a good sport...Copy !req
544. and indulge us and just...
tell us a little more?Copy !req
545. Oh, yeah. Let me tell you something
about T.P.S. reports.Copy !req
546. The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy.
It's that I just don't care.Copy !req
547. Don't— Don't care?Copy !req
548. It's a problem
of motivation, all right?Copy !req
549. Now, if I work my ass off
and Initech ships a few extra units...Copy !req
550. I don't see another dime,
so where's the motivation?Copy !req
551. And here's something else, Bob.Copy !req
552. I have eight different bosses right now.Copy !req
553. - I beg your pardon? Eight?
- Eight bosses. Eight, Bob.Copy !req
554. So that means that
when I make a mistake...Copy !req
555. I have eight different people coming by
to tell me about it.Copy !req
556. That's my only real motivation
is not to be hassled.Copy !req
557. That and the fear of losing my job.Copy !req
558. But you know, Bob, that'll only make someone
workjust hard enough not to get fired.Copy !req
559. Would you bear with me
forjust a second, please?Copy !req
560. Okay.Copy !req
561. What if- and believe me...Copy !req
562. this is so hypothetical—Copy !req
563. but what if you were offered
some kind of a stock option...Copy !req
564. equity-sharing program?Copy !req
565. - Would that do anything for you?
- I don't know. I guess.Copy !req
566. Listen, I'm gonna go. Uh, it's been really nice
talking to both of you guys.Copy !req
567. Absolutely. The pleasure's all
on this side of the table, trust me.Copy !req
568. Good luck with your layoffs, all right?
I hope your firings go really well.Copy !req
569. - Okay. Great. Wow.
- Thanks a lot.Copy !req
570. So, Peter, what's happening?Copy !req
571. Listen, uh—Copy !req
572. Joanna, would you come here
a minute, please?Copy !req
573. Yeah.Copy !req
574. I'm sorry I was late,
but I was having lunch and I, uh—Copy !req
575. We need to talk about your flair.Copy !req
576. Really? I-I have 15 pieces on. I also—Copy !req
577. - Well, 15 is the minimum, okay?
- Oh. Okay.Copy !req
578. Now, you know,
it's up to you whether or not...Copy !req
579. you wanna just do
the bare minimum or, uh—Copy !req
580. Well, like Brian, for example,
has 37 pieces of flair on today.Copy !req
581. - And a terrific smile.
- Okay, so you want me to wear more?Copy !req
582. - Look, Joanna—
- Yeah?Copy !req
583. People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, okay?Copy !req
584. They come to Chotchkie's
for the atmosphere and the attitude.Copy !req
585. Okay? That's what the flair's about.
It's about fun.Copy !req
586. Yeah.
Okay, so more then, yeah?Copy !req
587. Look, we want you
to express yourself. Okay?Copy !req
588. Now, if you feel that the bare minimum
is enough, then okay.Copy !req
589. But some people choose to wear more
and we encourage that. Okay?Copy !req
590. You do wanna express yourself, don't you?Copy !req
591. - Y-Yeah.
- Okay, great, great.Copy !req
592. That's all I ask.Copy !req
593. Okay.Copy !req
594. Right, so there's three more people
we can easily lose.Copy !req
595. And then there's Tom Smykowski.Copy !req
596. He's useless.Copy !req
597. - Gone.
- Sounds good to me.Copy !req
598. Here's a peculiar-
Uh, Milton Waddams.Copy !req
599. - Who's he?
- You know, squirrely-looking guy.Copy !req
600. - Mumbles a lot.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
601. Yeah, we— we can't actually find a record
of him being a current employee here.Copy !req
602. I looked into it more deeply, and I found
that apparently what happened...Copy !req
603. is that he was laid off five years ago,
and no one ever told him about it.Copy !req
604. But through some kind of glitch in
the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.Copy !req
605. So we just went ahead
and fixed the glitch.Copy !req
606. - Great.
- So, uh, Milton has been let go.Copy !req
607. Well, just a second there, professor.Copy !req
608. We, uh— We fixed the glitch...Copy !req
609. so he won't be receiving
a paycheck anymore...Copy !req
610. so it'll just work
itself out naturally.Copy !req
611. We always like to avoid confrontation
whenever possible.Copy !req
612. The problem is solved from your end.Copy !req
613. Um, I'd like to move us right along
to a Peter Gibbons.Copy !req
614. Now, we had a chance
to meet this young man...Copy !req
615. and, boy, that's
just a straight shooter...Copy !req
616. with upper management
written all over him.Copy !req
617. Ooh.Copy !req
618. Yeah. Um—Copy !req
619. I'm going to have to go ahead
and sort of disagree with you there.Copy !req
620. Yeah, uh, he's been
real flaky lately...Copy !req
621. and I'm just not sure that
he's the caliber person...Copy !req
622. that we would want
for upper management.Copy !req
623. He's also been having some problems
with his T.P.S. reports.Copy !req
624. I'll handle this.Copy !req
625. We feel...Copy !req
626. that the problem isn't with Peter.Copy !req
627. Mm-mmm.Copy !req
628. It's that you haven't challenged him enough
to get him really motivated.Copy !req
629. There it is.Copy !req
630. Yeah, uh, well...Copy !req
631. I'm just not sure
about that right now.Copy !req
632. Yeah, Bill, let me ask you
a real quick question here.Copy !req
633. How much time would you
say you spend each week...Copy !req
634. dealing with these T.P.S. reports?Copy !req
635. Yeah.Copy !req
636. Hey, Peter, man! Check out channel 9.Copy !req
637. It's the breast exams.
Whoa!Copy !req
638. So, Peter, what's happening?Copy !req
639. Uh, now, are you
going to go ahead...Copy !req
640. and have those T.P.S. reports
for us this afternoon?Copy !req
641. No.Copy !req
642. Ah, yeah.Copy !req
643. So I guess we should probably go ahead
and have a little talk, hmm?Copy !req
644. Not right now, Lumbergh.
I'm— I'm kinda busy.Copy !req
645. In fact, I'm going to have to ask you to go
ahead and just come back another time.Copy !req
646. I got a meeting with the Bobs
in a couple minutes.Copy !req
647. Uh, I wasn't aware of
a meeting with them.Copy !req
648. Yeah, they called me at home.Copy !req
649. That sounds good, Peter.Copy !req
650. And, uh, we'll go ahead
and get this all fixed up for you.Copy !req
651. Great.Copy !req
652. Hi, Milton.
What's happening?Copy !req
653. I was— I-I— I didn't receive
my paycheck this week.Copy !req
654. Uh, you're going to have to talk
to Payroll about that.Copy !req
655. I did and they said—Copy !req
656. Milt, we're going to need to go ahead
and move you downstairs into storage "B."Copy !req
657. - No, I-I was told I could not—
- We have some new people coming in...Copy !req
658. - No. There's—
- and we need all the space we can get.Copy !req
659. - But there's no space—
- So if you could just go ahead...Copy !req
660. - and pack up your stuff, and move it down there...Copy !req
661. - that would be terrific— mm-kay?
- I was told I could stay—Copy !req
662. Excuse me.Copy !req
663. I believe you have
my stapler, please. Mmm.Copy !req
664. Looks like you've been missing
a lot ofwork lately.Copy !req
665. - I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.Copy !req
666. - Good one.
- Oh, that's terrific, Peter.Copy !req
667. I-I'm sure you've— you've
heard some of the rumors...Copy !req
668. circulating around the hallways
about how we're going to be doing...Copy !req
669. a little "housecleaning" with
some of the software people.Copy !req
670. Well, Bob, I have heard that,
and you gotta do what you gotta do.Copy !req
671. We're gonna be getting rid
of these people here.Copy !req
672. First, Mr. Samir Naga—Copy !req
673. - He— He—
- Naga—Copy !req
674. - Naga— Not gonna work here anymore anyway.Copy !req
675. And Mr. Mike Bolton.
Nobody's gonna miss him.Copy !req
676. You're gonna lay off
Samir and Michael?Copy !req
677. Ah, yeah, we're gonna bring in
some entry-level graduates.Copy !req
678. Farm some work out to Singapore.
That's the usual deal.Copy !req
679. - It's standard operating procedure.
- Do they know this yet?Copy !req
680. No. No, of course not.Copy !req
681. We find it's always better
to fire people on a Friday.Copy !req
682. Studies have statistically shown
that there's less chance of an incident...Copy !req
683. if you do it at the end of the week.Copy !req
684. Peter, what we'd like to do
is put you into position...Copy !req
685. to have as many as four people
working right underneath you.Copy !req
686. - This is a big promotion, Pete.
- It's huge.Copy !req
687. So you're going to fire Michael and Samir
and you're going to give me more money?Copy !req
688. - Hmm?
- Wow!Copy !req
689. Hmm. Yeah.
That's it.Copy !req
690. That's exactly what I need.
Uh-huh. Give it to me.Copy !req
691. Come on, you little fucker.
Let's go. That's what I need.Copy !req
692. Let's do that. Let's do exactly that,
you little fuck—Copy !req
693. - Michael.
- Hey.Copy !req
694. Listen to me.Copy !req
695. What are you doing tonight?Copy !req
696. Michael, there comes
a point in a man's life...Copy !req
697. and maybe that time
for you is now...Copy !req
698. when it doesn't hurt
to start thinking about the future.Copy !req
699. Uh, no offense there, Peter,
but speak for yourself there, sport.Copy !req
700. I'm not the one who's been
flakin' out at work.Copy !req
701. I know you had this religious experience
or whatever the hell that was...Copy !req
702. but you'd better snap out of it and get
your shit together, or you're gonna get canned.Copy !req
703. Yeah, and, uh— and I— Listen.Copy !req
704. That virus you're always
talking about, right?Copy !req
705. The one that could rip off the company
for a bunch of money.Copy !req
706. - Yeah, what about it?
- Well, how does it work?Copy !req
707. It's pretty brilliant.Copy !req
708. What it does is, every time there's a bank
transaction where interest is computed...Copy !req
709. you know, thousands a day,
the computer ends up...Copy !req
710. with these fractions of a cent,
which it usually rounds off.Copy !req
711. What this does is, it takes those
little remainders and puts it into an account.Copy !req
712. - This sounds familiar.
- Yeah, they did it in Superman ///.Copy !req
713. - Right, uh—
- An underrated movie, actually.Copy !req
714. And a bunch of hackers that did it in
the '70s as well. One of them got busted.Copy !req
715. - Well, so they check for this now.
- No, here's the thing.Copy !req
716. Initech's so backed up with all the software
we're updating for the year 2000...Copy !req
717. they'd never notice.Copy !req
718. You're right.Copy !req
719. And even ifthey wanted to,
they couldn't check all that code.Copy !req
720. Thumbs up their asses.
Thumbs up their asses.Copy !req
721. So, Michael, what's to stop you
from doing this?Copy !req
722. It's not worth the risk.
I got a good job.Copy !req
723. What if you didn't have a good job?Copy !req
724. Cock-gobblers!Copy !req
725. Samir and I are the best programmers
they got at that place.Copy !req
726. And you, you haven't been showin' up,
and you get to keep your job.Copy !req
727. - Actually, I'm being promoted.
- What?Copy !req
728. I know, Michael.
It's completely unfair.Copy !req
729. And I realized something today.Copy !req
730. It's not just about me
and my dream of doing nothing.Copy !req
731. It's about all of us together.Copy !req
732. I don't know what happened
to me at that hypnotherapist...Copy !req
733. and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock
and it's wearing off now...Copy !req
734. but when I saw that fat man
keel over and die—Copy !req
735. Michael, we don't have
a lot oftime on this earth.Copy !req
736. We weren't meant
to spend it this way.Copy !req
737. Human beings were not meant
to sit in little cubicles...Copy !req
738. staring at computer screens all day,
filling out useless forms...Copy !req
739. and listening to eight different bosses
drone on about mission statements.Copy !req
740. I told those fudge-packers
I liked Michael Bolton's music.Copy !req
741. Oh. That is not right, Michael.Copy !req
742. For five years now,
you've worked your ass off at Initech...Copy !req
743. hoping for a promotion or some kind
of profit-sharing or something.Copy !req
744. Five years of your mid-20s now gone.Copy !req
745. And you're gonna go in tomorrow,
they're gonna throw you out on the street.Copy !req
746. You know why?Copy !req
747. So that Bill Lumbergh's stock
will go up a quarter of a point.Copy !req
748. Ugh.Copy !req
749. Michael, let's make
that stock go down...Copy !req
750. and let's take enough money
out of that place...Copy !req
751. so that we never ever have to
sit in a cubicle ever again.Copy !req
752. Your software works, right?Copy !req
753. Of course it works.
That's not the point.Copy !req
754. Look, even if I wanted to,
I wouldn't know how to install it.Copy !req
755. I don't know the credit union's software
well enough. Okay?Copy !req
756. Yeah.Copy !req
757. But Samir does.Copy !req
758. - But, Peter, that's not much money.
- That's the beauty of it.Copy !req
759. Each withdrawal, that's a fraction of a cent.
That's too small to notice.Copy !req
760. But a few thousand withdrawals a day,
you space it out over a couple ofyears...Copy !req
761. that's a few hundred
thousand dollars.Copy !req
762. - It'slike Superman III.
- Superman III—What-Copy !req
763. Look, I have to leave now, okay?Copy !req
764. I have to get my résumé ready.Copy !req
765. Get your résumé ready? For what? For another
job where they can just fire you for no reason?Copy !req
766. That's right!
If I'm lucky!Copy !req
767. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired
of being pushed around. Aren't you?Copy !req
768. Yes, Peter! But I'm not going
to do anything illegal.Copy !req
769. Illegal?
Samir, this is America!Copy !req
770. Come on. Sit down.Copy !req
771. Come on. This isn't Riyadh.Copy !req
772. They're not gonna
saw your hands off here, all right?Copy !req
773. The worst they would ever do is,
they would put you, for a couple of months...Copy !req
774. into a white-collar,
minimum-security resort.Copy !req
775. Shit, we should be so lucky!Copy !req
776. - Do you know they have conjugal visits there?
- Really?Copy !req
777. - Yes.
- Shit.Copy !req
778. I'm a free man, I haven't had
a conjugal visit in six months.Copy !req
779. - So, what do you think?
- This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir.Copy !req
780. Samir...Copy !req
781. you came here looking for
a land of opportunity...Copy !req
782. and this is the knock
of that opportunity.Copy !req
783. Tomorrow's your last day at Initech.Copy !req
784. You have two options:
unemployment or early retirement.Copy !req
785. What's it gonna be?Copy !req
786. - I have a question.
- Yes?Copy !req
787. In— In these conjugal visits,
you can have sex with women?Copy !req
788. Yep. You sure can.Copy !req
789. Okay, I'll do it.Copy !req
790. - That's what I'm talking about
when I talk about Amer—
- Peter?Copy !req
791. - How about we discuss the plan?
- Okay, yeah. Good. Right.Copy !req
792. It works like a computer virus.Copy !req
793. All we have to do is load it into the credit
union mainframe, and it'll do the rest.Copy !req
794. Okay. You guys get me that disk,
and I'll take care of it from there.Copy !req
795. But listen, before we go any further,
all right...Copy !req
796. we have to swear to God, Allah...Copy !req
797. that nobody knows about this but us.Copy !req
798. All right? No family members,
no girlfriends, nobody.Copy !req
799. - Of course.
- Agreed.Copy !req
800. Don't worry, man! I won't tell anyone either!Copy !req
801. - What the fuck is that?
- No, don't worry about him. He's cool. All right.Copy !req
802. Here's how I see it all going down.Copy !req
803. Peter, congratulations.
This is one heck of a promotion.Copy !req
804. - Thank you, Bob.
- We'll get some people under you right away.Copy !req
805. - Well, that was easy.
- Yeah, I guess it was.Copy !req
806. What'd you do with the c—Copy !req
807. Hey, man.Copy !req
808. Oh, hey, Drew.Copy !req
809. - You guys hear about Tom Smykowski?
- What, that he got laid off?Copy !req
810. No, man. Check it out.Copy !req
811. Last week, right after he found out
he was getting laid off...Copy !req
812. he goes home and tries to kill himself
by running the car in the garage.Copy !req
813. - Is he dead?
- No, man. Check it out.Copy !req
814. That wife of his comes home early
from work and catches him.Copy !req
815. - So he tries to play it off like nothing happened.Copy !req
816. I was—
having some trouble with the shifter here.Copy !req
817. It's jammed,
and I couldn't get it into drive.Copy !req
818. - I-I-I mean, reverse.
- You okay, Tom?Copy !req
819. - Then, as he's looking at her...
- Yeah.Copy !req
820. - he decides he wants to live.
- Yeah, I think I'm okay.Copy !req
821. - Right.
- Seems to be working now.Copy !req
822. See ya later, honey!Copy !req
823. Love ya!Copy !req
824. But then, as soon as
he backs out of his driveway—Copy !req
825. Bam! He gets slammed big-time
by a drunk driver!Copy !req
826. - Is he okay?
- Sort of.Copy !req
827. He broke both his wrists, legs,
couple of ribs, his back.Copy !req
828. But he's gonna get a huge settlement
out of this, like, seven figures.Copy !req
829. He's getting out
of the hospital tomorrow.Copy !req
830. He's gonna throw a party this weekend
to celebrate. We're all invited.Copy !req
831. I'm thinkin' I might take
that new chick from Logistics.Copy !req
832. Things go well, I might be showin' her
my "O" face.Copy !req
833. "Oh! Oh! Oh!"
You know what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
834. "Oh!"Copy !req
835. Yeah. Right.
See you guys there.Copy !req
836. Wow. Our last day at Initech.Copy !req
837. I can't believe they had Security
escort us out.Copy !req
838. Like we're going to steal something.Copy !req
839. - I stole something.
- Oh, yeah. Guess we all did.Copy !req
840. No, I stole something else.Copy !req
841. What did you steal?Copy !req
842. Call it a going-away present.Copy !req
843. Who's got my keys?Copy !req
844. - I'm driving. Not you.
- Everything is gonna be okay. All right?Copy !req
845. - Peter— Peter—
- Okay? It's fun, and it's exciting.Copy !req
846. - Be serious.
- I gotta go. All right?Copy !req
847. Joanna's coming over.
All right? Don't worry.Copy !req
848. You're worrying. All right?Copy !req
849. Monday morning we're gonna check
the account balance. Everything'll be okay.Copy !req
850. Don't miss Tom's barbecue.
I'll see you there. All right?Copy !req
851. Hey, what were you guys
celebrating last night?Copy !req
852. Uh... I'm not really at liberty
to talk about it.Copy !req
853. I really can't.Copy !req
854. All right, so when the subroutine
compounds the interest...Copy !req
855. it uses all these extra decimal places
that just get rounded off.Copy !req
856. So we simplified the whole thing...Copy !req
857. and we just— we round 'em all down
and drop the remainder...Copy !req
858. into an account that we opened.Copy !req
859. So, you're stealing.Copy !req
860. Uh, no.
You don't understand.Copy !req
861. It's, uh— It's very complicated.Copy !req
862. It's, uh— It's aggregate, so I'm talking
about fractions of a penny here.Copy !req
863. And, uh, over time
they add up to a lot.Copy !req
864. Oh, okay. So, you're gonna make
a lot of money, right?Copy !req
865. - Yeah.
- Right? That's not yours?Copy !req
866. - Uh, well, it becomes ours.
- How is that not stealing?Copy !req
867. I don't think, uh— I don't think
that I'm explaining this very well.Copy !req
868. - Um, the 7-Eleven, right?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
869. You'd take a penny from the tray.Copy !req
870. - From the crippled children?
- No, that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray.Copy !req
871. The— You know,
the pennies for everybody.Copy !req
872. Oh. For everybod— Okay.Copy !req
873. Yeah, well, those are whole pennies.
All right?Copy !req
874. I'm just talking about
fractions of a penny here.Copy !req
875. Okay? But we do it from a much bigger tray
a couple of million times.Copy !req
876. So what's wrong with that?Copy !req
877. - I don't know. It just seems wrong.
- It's not wrong.Copy !req
878. Initech is wrong.
Initech is an evil corporation.Copy !req
879. Chotchkie's is wrong.Copy !req
880. Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up
in the morning and put on pieces of flair?Copy !req
881. Yeah, but I'm not about to go in
and start taking money from the register.Copy !req
882. Well, maybe you should.Copy !req
883. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair
that they made the Jews wear.Copy !req
884. What?Copy !req
885. Look, we don't— I-I—Copy !req
886. We don't have to
talk about this now.Copy !req
887. - Let's just go to the barbecue.
- Okay.Copy !req
888. Michael! Samir!
How you doin'?Copy !req
889. - Hey, Tom.
- Hello, Tom.Copy !req
890. I'd like you to meet
my lawyer, Rob Newhouse.Copy !req
891. - Rob, Michael, Samir.
- How you doing?Copy !req
892. Peter! How are you?
I'm glad you could make it.Copy !req
893. Tom, hi. This is somebody
I'd like you to meet.Copy !req
894. - This is Joanna.
- Hi. Forgive me for not getting up.Copy !req
895. Uh— Uh, Peter, come here a minute.
I wanna show you something.Copy !req
896. Well, what do you think?
It's a prototype.Copy !req
897. Huh! That's exactly as you described it.Copy !req
898. Uh, listen,
I heard about your settlement.Copy !req
899. - Congratulations.
- Well, thanks, Peter.Copy !req
900. You know, I'm glad you're here
because I wanted to talk to you.Copy !req
901. I know how you get depressed
about your job and all.Copy !req
902. I just wanted you to know that I know
how you feel. I used to be the same way.Copy !req
903. - Really?
- Sure!Copy !req
904. Maybe I didn't whine as much,
but I bet I hated my job even more than you.Copy !req
905. And I've been doing it
for over 30 years.Copy !req
906. - Wow.
- Just remember.Copy !req
907. If you hang in there long enough...Copy !req
908. good things can happen
in this world.Copy !req
909. I mean, look at me.Copy !req
910. Thanks, Tom.Copy !req
911. Oh, sure.Copy !req
912. Conjugal visits?
Not that I know of.Copy !req
913. A minimum-security prison
is no picnic.Copy !req
914. I have a client in there right now.Copy !req
915. He says, the trick is,
kick someone's ass the first day...Copy !req
916. or become someone's bitch.Copy !req
917. Then everything'll be all right.Copy !req
918. Why do you ask, anyway?Copy !req
919. Oh, no, we were just— Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
920. - Hey, Peter.
- Drew.Copy !req
921. That's somethin'
about ol' Smykowski, huh?Copy !req
922. - Yeah.
- Lucky bastard.Copy !req
923. Hey, isn't that the girl
that works over at Chotchkie's?Copy !req
924. Yeah.Copy !req
925. Who's she here with?Copy !req
926. She's with me.Copy !req
927. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
928. All right, Peter.
Ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
929. - Right on.Copy !req
930. Make sure you wear a rubber, dude.Copy !req
931. Why is that, Drew?Copy !req
932. Are you kidding me?
She gets around.Copy !req
933. All right?Copy !req
934. She does, does she?Copy !req
935. Oh, yeah, like a record.Copy !req
936. Like, with who?Copy !req
937. Oh, let's see, uh—Copy !req
938. Hell, Lumbergh fucked her.Copy !req
939. Let me see who else.Copy !req
940. Uh, Dick Rennie—Copy !req
941. - Lumbergh?
- Eric Louis—Copy !req
942. So, what if- Oh.
What if you get caught?Copy !req
943. I just don't know
ifthis was such a good idea.Copy !req
944. Yeah, well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea
for you to sleep with Lumbergh.Copy !req
945. What?Copy !req
946. What are you—Copy !req
947. Oh, right. Lumbergh.Copy !req
948. Aah!Copy !req
949. Oh, God. Lumbergh.Copy !req
950. Peter, what is wrong with you?Copy !req
951. That was, like, two years ago.
What, did you know him?Copy !req
952. Yeah, I know him.
I know him. He's my boss.Copy !req
953. He's my unholy,
disgusting pig of a boss!Copy !req
954. Oh, he's not that disgusting.Copy !req
955. He represents all
that is soulless and wrong!Copy !req
956. - And you slept with him.
- Hey!Copy !req
957. That is none of your business.
Okay?Copy !req
958. I didn't ask you who you slept with
before we were together.Copy !req
959. - I don't care.
- Well, I didn't think you slept
with guys like Lumbergh!Copy !req
960. Listen to you.Copy !req
961. Who do you think you are?
How dare you judge me.Copy !req
962. I mean, what are you?
Some kind of angel here?Copy !req
963. No, you're just
this penny-stealing...Copy !req
964. wannabe criminal... m-man.Copy !req
965. Yeah, well, that may be...Copy !req
966. but at least
I never slept with Lumbergh.Copy !req
967. Okay, that's— I'm done.
I wanna get out of the car.Copy !req
968. - Fine.
- Stop!Copy !req
969. Just call me when you grow up.Copy !req
970. You know, that's never gonna happen.
So just don't call me.Copy !req
971. Say hello to Lumbergh for me!Copy !req
972. Hell, Lumbergh fucked her.Copy !req
973. Lumbergh fucked her.Copy !req
974. Lumbergh... fucked her.Copy !req
975. That's great.Copy !req
976. I mean, she was seein'
the "O" face, for sure!Copy !req
977. Oh! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
978. - Sss. Ooh.
- Ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
979. If you could go ahead and just move
a little bit to the lef- That's it.Copy !req
980. Great.Copy !req
981. Peter! What's happening?Copy !req
982. Um, could you get me
those T.P.S. reports ASAP? Mm-kay?Copy !req
983. - Joanna.
- Yeah?Copy !req
984. We need to talk.Copy !req
985. Do you know what this is about?Copy !req
986. My, uh, flair?Copy !req
987. Yeah.Copy !req
988. Or, uh, your lack of flair.Copy !req
989. Because, uh, I'm counting
and I only see 15 pieces.Copy !req
990. Let me ask you a question, Joanna.Copy !req
991. What do you think of a person...Copy !req
992. who only does the bare minimum?Copy !req
993. Huh. What do I thi—
Uh, you know what, Stan?Copy !req
994. If you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair...Copy !req
995. like your pretty boy
over there, Brian...Copy !req
996. why don't you just make the minimum
37 pieces of flair?Copy !req
997. Well, I thought I remembered you saying
that you wanted to express yourself.Copy !req
998. Yeah. You know what?
Yeah, I do.Copy !req
999. I do wanna express myself. Okay?
And I don't need 37 pieces of flair to do it.Copy !req
1000. All right?Copy !req
1001. There's my flair. Okay?Copy !req
1002. And this is me expressing myself.Copy !req
1003. Okay?Copy !req
1004. There it is.Copy !req
1005. I hate this job. I hate this goddamn job,
and I don't need it!Copy !req
1006. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1007. - Shit! Shit!
- Oh, shit.Copy !req
1008. Son of a bitch! Shit!Copy !req
1009. - This is a— Fuck! I— I—
- Son of a bitch!Copy !req
1010. - Shit!
- What happened?Copy !req
1011. - You tell me, Michael! It's your software!
- Yes! It's your software!Copy !req
1012. Corporate Accounting is sure as hell
gonna notice $305,3—Copy !req
1013. 26.13, Michael!Copy !req
1014. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1015. They probably won't know it's gone
for another three or four days.Copy !req
1016. Michael, you said the thing
was gonna take two years!Copy !req
1017. What happened? You said the thing
was supposed to work!Copy !req
1018. - Technically, it did work.
- No, it didn't!Copy !req
1019. It did not work, Michael! Okay?Copy !req
1020. Okay, okay!
Okay. Okay.Copy !req
1021. I must've put a decimal point
in the wrong place or something.Copy !req
1022. Shit, I always do that. I always mess up
some mundane detail.Copy !req
1023. Oh! Well, this is not
a mundane detail, Michael!Copy !req
1024. Hey, quit getting pissed
at me, all right?Copy !req
1025. This was all your idea, asshole.Copy !req
1026. All right. Okay.
Let's try not to get pissed off at each other.Copy !req
1027. Let's just try to figure this thing out together.Copy !req
1028. The first thing we gotta do is close that account
before it gets any bigger.Copy !req
1029. Doesn't that look terrific.Copy !req
1030. Mmm!Copy !req
1031. Here, Peg. You wanna get
everybody started there?Copy !req
1032. Mmm!
Oh, that is terrific.Copy !req
1033. - Just terrific. Thanks, everybody.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1034. Really. I really, really appreciate it.
It's very special.Copy !req
1035. Now, Milton!
Don't be greedy!Copy !req
1036. Let's pass it along and make sure
everyone gets a piece.Copy !req
1037. 'Kay, but last time I didn't receive a piece,
and I was told that—Copy !req
1038. - Just pass.
- Okay.Copy !req
1039. But this— this—
If- There— There—Copy !req
1040. I just— See, the cake—Copy !req
1041. There's lots of cake,
but there's—Copy !req
1042. The ratio of people to cake is—Copy !req
1043. All I want
is a piece of cake—Copy !req
1044. I think there's—
there's a piece of-Copy !req
1045. I could set the building on fire.Copy !req
1046. I-Is there some way
to just give the money back?Copy !req
1047. What, do you mean just hand them a check
for the exact amount they're missing?Copy !req
1048. I think they'd figure that out.Copy !req
1049. Well, we have to do something.Copy !req
1050. Maybe we could launder the money.Copy !req
1051. That's a great idea.Copy !req
1052. - Okay, how do we do that?
- I don't— I don't know.Copy !req
1053. I don't even know what it means.
I was hoping you knew.Copy !req
1054. - I think coke dealers do it.
- All right, do we know any coke dealers?Copy !req
1055. M-My cousin's a cokehead.Copy !req
1056. Fuck.
We're in deep shit.Copy !req
1057. Yes, we are in very, very deep shit.Copy !req
1058. Milton.Copy !req
1059. - Yes?
- What's happening?Copy !req
1060. - I wanted to see you—
- Say, Milton, you know what'd be great?Copy !req
1061. Wh— No.Copy !req
1062. Since you're down here, it would be
really great if you could just sort of...Copy !req
1063. take care of the cockroach problem
we've been having in here.Copy !req
1064. No, that's really not my job, and I—
I haven't received my paycheck—Copy !req
1065. So, for now why don't you
get yourself a flashlight...Copy !req
1066. and a can of pesticide
and crawl back—Copy !req
1067. Bill? We need you
upstairs right away.Copy !req
1068. We got a big problem. Big.Copy !req
1069. Some major glitch in Accounting.Copy !req
1070. - A lot of money missing.
- Hmm.Copy !req
1071. We've got an investigator here.Copy !req
1072. - Excuse me?Copy !req
1073. - Excuse me!Copy !req
1074. Well... okay, but...
that's the last straw.Copy !req
1075. Here we go.
Here we go.Copy !req
1076. Uh, "launder."Copy !req
1077. "To clean—" No. "Wash."Copy !req
1078. Here it is:
"To conceal the source of money...Copy !req
1079. as by channeling it
through an intermediary."Copy !req
1080. "To conceal
a source of money—"Copy !req
1081. That doesn't really
help us, Michael.Copy !req
1082. I can't believe what nerds we are...Copy !req
1083. looking up money laundering
in a dictionary.Copy !req
1084. Yeah, well...Copy !req
1085. you guys can both eat my ass, okay?Copy !req
1086. I can't believe Joanna slept with Lumbergh.
That's what I can't believe.Copy !req
1087. - You didn't know that?
- Yeah. You didn't know that?Copy !req
1088. A couple ofyears ago,
before he moved to Atlanta.Copy !req
1089. You mean Ron Lumbergh, the Initrode guy?
The young guy?Copy !req
1090. Yeah. Who'd you think I meant? Bill?Copy !req
1091. Fuckin'— Their children
would have hooves.Copy !req
1092. - Ron's not related to Bill, is he?Copy !req
1093. Who's that?Copy !req
1094. All right, nobody panic.
Probablyjust Lawrence.Copy !req
1095. Good evening. My name is Steve.
I come from a rough area.Copy !req
1096. I used to be addicted to crack,
but now I'm off and trying to stay clean.Copy !req
1097. - Okay.
- That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.Copy !req
1098. - No.
- W-W-Wait a minute.Copy !req
1099. You used to be addicted to crack?Copy !req
1100. Yeah, b—Copy !req
1101. Um, w—Copy !req
1102. Look, I'm very sorry.Copy !req
1103. I do not know anything
about any money laundering.Copy !req
1104. No, we're not asking you
about money laundering.Copy !req
1105. - We need you to hook us up with—
- Michael, he doesn't know anybody.Copy !req
1106. No, wait— wait a minute. Look.Copy !req
1107. You just give us the name of one drug dealer.
I could talk to him.Copy !req
1108. - I have good networking skill—
- I lied.Copy !req
1109. All that stuff I said about being a crackhead
just helps me sell magazines.Copy !req
1110. I'm actually an unemployed
software engineer.Copy !req
1111. - You're a software engineer?
- Yep.Copy !req
1112. Things, uh, must be
very rough for you.Copy !req
1113. Actually, man, I make more money
selling magazine subscriptions...Copy !req
1114. than I ever did at Initrode.Copy !req
1115. At Initrode?Copy !req
1116. Wait a minute. You're not gonna tell
anybody about this stuffwe told you.Copy !req
1117. I mean, we know a lot
of the same people. That's—Copy !req
1118. Actually, um, that all depends.Copy !req
1119. Wh—Copy !req
1120. What am I gonna do
with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?Copy !req
1121. We never should have done this.
What were we thinking?Copy !req
1122. You know what I can't figure out?Copy !req
1123. How is it that all these stupid, Neanderthal
mafia guys can be so good at crime...Copy !req
1124. and smart guys like us
can suck so badly at it?Copy !req
1125. We're new to it, though.Copy !req
1126. If we had more experience—Copy !req
1127. No, you know what I think?
I think we're screwed.Copy !req
1128. There's enough evidence all over
that building to link us to this.Copy !req
1129. Even if we could launder money, I wouldn't
want to. What we've done is bad enough.Copy !req
1130. We get caught laundering money,
we're not going to white-collar resort prison.Copy !req
1131. No, no, no, we're going to
federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.Copy !req
1132. I-I-I don't want to go
to any prison!Copy !req
1133. Why the hell did I do this?Copy !req
1134. I've never done anything wrong
in my whole life.Copy !req
1135. We weren't thinking clearly because you told us
we were losing our jobs.Copy !req
1136. And now we're worried
about going in a prison.Copy !req
1137. Don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.Copy !req
1138. - I'm going home.
- Me too.Copy !req
1139. You are a very bad person, Peter.Copy !req
1140. Lawrence, you awake?Copy !req
1141. Yeah.Copy !req
1142. You wanna come over?Copy !req
1143. No, thanks, man.
I don't want you fuckin' up my life too.Copy !req
1144. Goddamn.Copy !req
1145. And in light of the senselessness
of these heinous crimes...Copy !req
1146. that you have committed
against Initech...Copy !req
1147. I hereby sentence you,
Michael Bolton...Copy !req
1148. and Samir Naan—Copy !req
1149. Nanadajibad...Copy !req
1150. to a term of no less
than four years...Copy !req
1151. in a federal
pound-me-in-the-ass prison.Copy !req
1152. Peter Gibbons...Copy !req
1153. you've led a trite
and meaningless life.Copy !req
1154. And you're a very bad person.Copy !req
1155. Hey.Copy !req
1156. You're not working
at Chotchkie's anymore, huh?Copy !req
1157. No. No, I got fired.Copy !req
1158. What happened?Copy !req
1159. I flipped off my boss...Copy !req
1160. some customers—Copy !req
1161. Actually, a line cook, but he just happened
to be standing there, so—Copy !req
1162. I might be going away for a while...Copy !req
1163. uh, to jail.Copy !req
1164. You were right about that computer scam.
That was a bad idea.Copy !req
1165. I'm gonna take the blame for it,
I decided.Copy !req
1166. I'm on my way now to return the money
and leave a confession...Copy !req
1167. under Lumbergh's door.Copy !req
1168. Joanna, I want to apologize.Copy !req
1169. I had no right to get pissed off at you about
Lumbergh. Lumbergh is not my problem.Copy !req
1170. Wasn't even the right Lumbergh.Copy !req
1171. I don't know why I can't
just go to work and be happy...Copy !req
1172. like I'm supposed to,
like everybody else.Copy !req
1173. Peter, most people
don't like theirjobs.Copy !req
1174. But you go out there and you find
something that makes you happy.Copy !req
1175. Yeah, well...Copy !req
1176. I may never be happy at my job...Copy !req
1177. but I think that
if I could be with you...Copy !req
1178. that I could be happy with my life.Copy !req
1179. I've been a real asshole.Copy !req
1180. But if you could give it
another shot, I promise—Copy !req
1181. Okay, shut up.Copy !req
1182. Whoa! Hey!
What's going on here?Copy !req
1183. Get a room, you two!Copy !req
1184. Nyah-nyah-nyah!Copy !req
1185. I hate that guy.Copy !req
1186. Then Mr. Lumbergh
told me to talk to Payroll...Copy !req
1187. and then Payroll told me
to talk to Mr. Lumbergh.Copy !req
1188. I still haven't received my paycheck,
and he took my stapler.Copy !req
1189. He never brought it back.Copy !req
1190. Then they moved by desk to storage room "B"
and there was garbage on it—Copy !req
1191. Why don't you go back down
and sit at your desk.Copy !req
1192. - Mr. Lumbergh should be here any minute.
- I want to talk to Mr. Lumbergh.Copy !req
1193. Just go sit at your desk. Okay?Copy !req
1194. Okay, but I— I—
I'm gonna just—Copy !req
1195. I'm telling you right now,
my desk is located in the basement.Copy !req
1196. I'm sure you know where it is.Copy !req
1197. I'm just gonna have to
take my stapler back.Copy !req
1198. Because it's my stapler, and I told Mr.—
It's my— It's—Copy !req
1199. It's my stapler.
It's a Swingline.Copy !req
1200. I've been using it for a long time.Copy !req
1201. It doesn't bind up—Copy !req
1202. Lawrence. You in there?Copy !req
1203. Whoa. Hey, Peter, man.Copy !req
1204. Hey.Copy !req
1205. - So, I might be going away for a while.
- Yeah, I know, man.Copy !req
1206. It's a bummer, dude.
What can I say?Copy !req
1207. Yeah. Uh—Copy !req
1208. Well, time to go face the music.Copy !req
1209. You take care of yourself
if I don't see you. All right?Copy !req
1210. - You too, man. Take 'er easy, bud.
- All right.Copy !req
1211. All right.Copy !req
1212. - Hey, Peter.
- Yeah?Copy !req
1213. Watch out for your cornhole, bud.Copy !req
1214. Okay, Lawrence.Copy !req
1215. Stay clear, now! Stay clear!Copy !req
1216. Holy shit!Copy !req
1217. Excuse me.Copy !req
1218. And, uh— I mean, can I—
I was here first. I have to—Copy !req
1219. Oh, gosh.Copy !req
1220. Wait a minute.
Let me take a look at that.Copy !req
1221. You don't want that, Peter, man.
That's toasted, man.Copy !req
1222. I think I know someone
who might want this.Copy !req
1223. Hey, man!Copy !req
1224. Wanna go to lunch?Copy !req
1225. Brought mine in a pail.Copy !req
1226. Plus, Joanna's supposed
to come by a little later.Copy !req
1227. So, how do you like your new job?Copy !req
1228. Not too bad.
Not too bad.Copy !req
1229. How's, uh, Penetrode?Copy !req
1230. - Intertrode.
- Intertrode.Copy !req
1231. - They're all right.
- It's work.Copy !req
1232. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1233. Probably get you a job there
if you want.Copy !req
1234. No, thanks. I, uh—
I'm doing good here.Copy !req
1235. So, uh...Copy !req
1236. we're gonna be okay, right?Copy !req
1237. Yeah.Copy !req
1238. I think the fire pretty much
took care of everything.Copy !req
1239. I wonder if the money burned up.Copy !req
1240. It would be a shame.Copy !req
1241. - Yeah.
- So you're sure you don't want us to get you a job?Copy !req
1242. That's one thing
I'm definitely sure of.Copy !req
1243. - Okay.
- All right, chief.Copy !req
1244. - You guys take care. All right?
- All right.Copy !req
1245. Stay in touch, man.Copy !req
1246. Okay. Will do.Copy !req
1247. This isn't so bad, huh?Copy !req
1248. Making bucks, getting exercise...Copy !req
1249. working outside.Copy !req
1250. Fuckin'-A.Copy !req
1251. Excuse me.
Excuse me, señor.Copy !req
1252. May I speak to you, please?Copy !req
1253. I asked for a mai tai,
and they brought me a piña colada.Copy !req
1254. And I said no salt— no salt for the margarita,
but it had salt on it.Copy !req
1255. - Lo siento mucho, senor.
Pinche gringo.
- Big grains of salt—Copy !req
1256. Ifthis happens again,
I won't be leaving a tip.Copy !req
1257. 'Cause I could—
I could shut this whole resort down.Copy !req
1258. Sir?Copy !req
1259. I could take my traveler's checks
to a competing resort.Copy !req
1260. I could write a letter
to your board oftourism...Copy !req
1261. and I could have
this place condemned.Copy !req
1262. I could put— I could put strychnine
in the guacamole.Copy !req
1263. There was salt on the glass.
Big grains of salt.Copy !req
1264. Give her a ride on
the old bone roller coaster.Copy !req
1265. - Aaaah!
- Mmm!Copy !req
1266. Yeah.Copy !req
1267. Hey, don't come back
in a dress, man!Copy !req
1268. You big fag!Copy !req
1269. I'm working at Hooters now,
and it's very cool.Copy !req