1. I just hope it doesn't cause any
permanent damage.Copy !req
2. - How long have you been here?
- A while.Copy !req
3. - You missed your prom?
- Yeah.Copy !req
4. The thing is, when I made that bet...Copy !req
5. There he is. It's Freddie.
He's wearing a tux.Copy !req
6. - What's up?
- Yes.Copy !req
7. I met a whole other
person inside of you.Copy !req
8. - Inside both of us.
- Shut up.Copy !req
9. I would've never found
that person inside of me...Copy !req
10. if it weren't for the person
inside of you.Copy !req
11. That's sweet.Copy !req
12. The whole other person
inside of me...Copy !req
13. thinks that the whole other person
inside of you has come a long way.Copy !req
14. So would the whole other person
inside of you like to dance?Copy !req
15. Yes.Copy !req
16. - Morning, sweetie!
- Daddy!Copy !req
17. - Why are you in here?
- Why am I in here?Copy !req
18. It's her birthday, Dad.Copy !req
19. Happy birthday, sweetie.Copy !req
20. - What's that buzzing sound?
- I just need a minute here.Copy !req
21. Maybe it's that construction.Copy !req
22. Where's my little angel?Copy !req
23. Happy birthday, honey.Copy !req
24. Grandma? Grandpa?Copy !req
25. Rosco!Copy !req
26. Rosco, go.Copy !req
27. - Hello.
- Father O'Flannagan?Copy !req
28. I brought your special friends
from the center!Copy !req
29. - Happy birthday!
- Janey's making faces.Copy !req
30. It smells in here.Copy !req
31. Okay, make a wish, dear.Copy !req
32. No.Copy !req
33. This isn't a typical high school.Copy !req
34. At John Hughes, there are no cliques,
no exclusive social groups.Copy !req
35. You're accepted for you,
not who you hang out with.Copy !req
36. We'll divide into groups
so you can get to know your peers.Copy !req
37. Let's get all you jocks
in one group...Copy !req
38. and get you slutty girls
over here by me.Copy !req
39. Hey, how you doing?
Welcome.Copy !req
40. You losers should
hang out in the back.Copy !req
41. That clearly includes you.
Come on, get back there.Copy !req
42. Take a look at the kid
standing beside you.Copy !req
43. They're your only friends
for the next four years.Copy !req
44. Okay, let's move it, people!Copy !req
45. - You need to start dating.
- I don't date. You know that.Copy !req
46. Janey, you know Dad's rule.Copy !req
47. I can't have sex before you.Copy !req
48. I don't conform to
typical high-school norms.Copy !req
49. I read Sylvia Plath,
listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu.Copy !req
50. - I'm a unique rebel.
- More like you're a lesbo.Copy !req
51. Mitch, leave your sister alone.Copy !req
52. Thank you, Daddy.Copy !req
53. If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher,
that's her decision.Copy !req
54. Go! Fight! Win!Copy !req
55. All right!Copy !req
56. Nice combination, Crissy!Copy !req
57. I've been meaning to get that fixed.Copy !req
58. Later, Dad.Copy !req
59. Hey.Copy !req
60. I'll be late to pick you up.Copy !req
61. Why? A job interview?Copy !req
62. No, honey.
I'll probably just be way too drunk.Copy !req
63. That's good.
No drinking and driving.Copy !req
64. Oh, I'll be driving.
I'll just be too drunk to remember.Copy !req
65. Okay. Bye, Daddy.Copy !req
66. Bye, pumpkin-head.Copy !req
67. - Oh, my God!
- Get out of the road!Copy !req
68. Oh, my God, it's Jake.Copy !req
69. - Hi, stud.
- Hi, Jake.Copy !req
70. - I love that thing with his eyebrows.
- Those sideburns.Copy !req
71. Oh, my God, there's Jake.
He's so popular.Copy !req
72. He just looked at me.Copy !req
73. - Here. You can keep it.
- Tiff.Copy !req
74. Hi, Jake. It's all wet.Copy !req
75. Melanie.Copy !req
76. Hey, Jake.Copy !req
77. Hey, Arthur.Copy !req
78. Here's Ricky!Copy !req
79. Hey, Ricky.
How was your weekend?Copy !req
80. Friday night I stood
outside your window in the raln...Copy !req
81. screaming your name.Copy !req
82. Then I spent Saturday and Sunday
making you this great...Copy !req
83. I've-been-desperately-trying-
to-tell-you-that...Copy !req
84. I'm-madly-in-love-with-you...Copy !req
85. mix tape for your birthday.Copy !req
86. A mix tape?
That's so sweet, Ricky.Copy !req
87. See you in English.Copy !req
88. Catch you guy later.Copy !req
89. What happening?Copy !req
90. Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending
to be Asian and shit.Copy !req
91. That cracker is white!
Can't he see that, yo?Copy !req
92. Did you get any action this weekend?Copy !req
93. - I visit grandfather.
- I played with my sisters.Copy !req
94. We're pathetic.Copy !req
95. How will we ever lose our virginity
by graduation?Copy !req
96. - We're freshmen.
- What's with the attitude?Copy !req
97. - Not easy to get lucky here.
- Girls are sensitive.Copy !req
98. They're not looking for sex.
They're looking for love.Copy !req
99. Fuck me! Harder!Copy !req
100. Amanda Becker.Copy !req
101. She is so perfect.Copy !req
102. Keep dreaming.Copy !req
103. What's up, Reggie Ray?Copy !req
104. I can't walt until Friday's game.Copy !req
105. What about your head? You have
a blood clot the size of a grapefruit.Copy !req
106. Five more concussions and you'll die.
You should take it easy.Copy !req
107. - Don't listen to him.
- Austin.Copy !req
108. Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore
isn't first-string anymore.Copy !req
109. We know what happened last time
Jake called the plays.Copy !req
110. And now, our hometown hero...Copy !req
111. first-string quarterback,
Jake Wyler!Copy !req
112. Malik, could you hold these books?Copy !req
113. Sure. Why not?
I am the token black guy.Copy !req
114. I smile, stay out of
the conversation...Copy !req
115. and say things like, "Damn,"
"Shit," and, "That is wack!"Copy !req
116. What's she doing here?
She graduated four years ago.Copy !req
117. - Hi, Jake.
- Catherine.Copy !req
118. Can I ask you a question?Copy !req
119. Why is it when I tell a guy
to put it anywhere...Copy !req
120. they always stick it in my ass?
- Damn!Copy !req
121. Way too much information.Copy !req
122. Oh, no. Too much information
would be telling you...Copy !req
123. that after they're done
I take a huge dump.Copy !req
124. Shit!Copy !req
125. On thelr chest.Copy !req
126. Oh, that is wack!Copy !req
127. Why do hot girls always walk
in slow motion?Copy !req
128. Priscilla, there you are.Copy !req
129. Jake, I need some
T-to-the-fourth-power-Y.Copy !req
130. Some time to talk to you.Copy !req
131. God.Copy !req
132. It made sense to me, Priscilla.Copy !req
133. You're leaving me for this guy?Copy !req
134. I'm sorry, Jake.
We met over spring break.Copy !req
135. I'm not ordinary.Copy !req
136. You're leaving me for this guy?Copy !req
137. His name is Les...Copy !req
138. and he's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.Copy !req
139. And so is his bag.Copy !req
140. Janey Briggs,
please report to the office.Copy !req
141. Belng a forelgn-exchange student
is scary...Copy !req
142. adjusting to a new school,
a new country.Copy !req
143. But you'll find that the students
are very accepting.Copy !req
144. You have a sunny disposition.Copy !req
145. You got your schedule?Copy !req
146. Well, isn't that wonderful?Copy !req
147. Janey, come in.Copy !req
148. This is Areola,
our forelgn-exchange student.Copy !req
149. Janey will show you
to your first class.Copy !req
150. Hi.Copy !req
151. - I like your backpack.
- Grazie.Copy !req
152. Dude, I heard there's an undercover
reporter posing as a student.Copy !req
153. Dude, no way, dude.Copy !req
154. Do you know where
Mr. Keller's English class is?Copy !req
155. - Down the hall, on your left.
- Sweet, dude.Copy !req
156. For the thousandth time, I sald,
"Swallow that thing."Copy !req
157. Am I right?Copy !req
158. How could Priscilla dump me,
Jake Wyler?Copy !req
159. Who does she think she is?Copy !req
160. I got two words for you, Jake:Copy !req
161. Prom queen, material.Copy !req
162. Austin, she's an illusion.Copy !req
163. You take away the makeup,
the clothes...Copy !req
164. the way she wears her hair,
the smell of her perfume...Copy !req
165. that cute face she makes
when she's tonguing my balls...Copy !req
166. Look, she's replaceable.Copy !req
167. Given the right look,
the right boyfriend...Copy !req
168. any girl could be prom queen.
- I smell a bet.Copy !req
169. Jakey, Jakey,
about to make a big...Copy !req
170. mistakey.Copy !req
171. Here's the wager: I'll pick the most
hopeless girl at this school...Copy !req
172. and I'll bet that you
can't turn her into prom queen.Copy !req
173. You're on, Austin.Copy !req
174. I'll bet you lose that bet...Copy !req
175. but learn a much more
valuable lesson and win.Copy !req
176. In life, that is.Copy !req
177. You're both on.Copy !req
178. All right.Copy !req
179. Let's find you a prom queen,
Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen.Copy !req
180. So, Areola, I noticed
your accent keeps changing.Copy !req
181. Where are you from?Copy !req
182. I cannot tell you that...Copy !req
183. because I am a generic
forelgn-exchange student...Copy !req
184. whose country of origin
is of little importance.Copy !req
185. Well, have fun in chemistry.Copy !req
186. Rightio, love. See you at teatime.Copy !req
187. What about her?Copy !req
188. Baby's got back.
Hunch, that is.Copy !req
189. No, way too easy.Copy !req
190. - I have no pigment
- Any girl with a guitar is hot.Copy !req
191. I need sunscreenCopy !req
192. Even a hippie albino.
She could be prom queen.Copy !req
193. What about the Fratelli sisters?Copy !req
194. So they're slightly disfigured
and connected.Copy !req
195. But combined, those two make up
one pretty decent chick.Copy !req
196. - I'd do them!
- I know, Reggie Ray.Copy !req
197. I'm looking for somebody
really messed up.Copy !req
198. I'm talking about a real shitbomb.Copy !req
199. Well, bombs away.Copy !req
200. No, no, no, anyone but her!
Not Janey Briggs.Copy !req
201. Guys, she's got glasses
and a ponytall.Copy !req
202. She's got palnt on her overalls!
What is that?Copy !req
203. There's no way
she could be prom queen.Copy !req
204. Damn, that shit's wack.Copy !req
205. alm for the head!Copy !req
206. Can you imagine
what they do in there?Copy !req
207. Holy cow.Copy !req
208. Guys, get your heads
out of the gutter.Copy !req
209. It's a locker room.
It's no sexier in there...Copy !req
210. than it is in here.Copy !req
211. Molly, can you help me
take off my panties?Copy !req
212. Hold on, I've got lotion
on my hands.Copy !req
213. That's okay.
You can just use your mouth.Copy !req
214. Thanks, Miss Peters.Copy !req
215. So...Copy !req
216. who would like to share thelr poem
with the class?Copy !req
217. Mr. Keller? Over here.
Right here. Please.Copy !req
218. - Anyone?
- Mr. Keller!Copy !req
219. - I'm not sure we should be doing this.
- Quiet. I hear them.Copy !req
220. Hey, I found a buffalo nickel!Copy !req
221. This is gonna be good.Copy !req
222. I think I see nipple.Copy !req
223. You think we should let them know
we're up here?Copy !req
224. Hey, Molly, the hot water's
not working on my shower.Copy !req
225. - Mind if I share yours?
- Not at all, Christy.Copy !req
226. But we're gonna have
to get real close.Copy !req
227. Okay. How about I press
up agalnst your back?Copy !req
228. Man, it is hot in here.Copy !req
229. I gotta take off my shirt.Copy !req
230. What?Copy !req
231. Doesn't even have to rhyme.Copy !req
232. Doesn't even have to be a poem.Copy !req
233. Please pick me.
I'm the one.Copy !req
234. Yes...Copy !req
235. Ricky.Copy !req
236. - "Ten Things I Love About Janey."
- Oh, not agaln.Copy !req
237. By Ricky Lipman.Copy !req
238. I love it when Janey talks
I love it when Janey walksCopy !req
239. I love it when Janey drinks
I love it when Janey blinksCopy !req
240. I love it when Janey says hiCopy !req
241. I love it when Janey says
"See you in English"Copy !req
242. I love sitting next to Janey in classCopy !req
243. I love staring into Janey's window
At 1465 South PassCopy !req
244. I love following Janey to the mallCopy !req
245. And I loveCopy !req
246. Collecting strands of Janey's hairCopy !req
247. And rolling them up
Into little Janey hairballsCopy !req
248. Thank you, Ricky,
for that interesting poem.Copy !req
249. I can't believe
what we just did, Molly.Copy !req
250. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience
that will never happen agaln.Copy !req
251. I don't know about you guys...Copy !req
252. but I am really proud
of Christy and Molly.Copy !req
253. We're going back.Copy !req
254. - Put on my shirt.
- I'm trying to get mine.Copy !req
255. Jackpot.Copy !req
256. Girl go pee-pee
not what I want to see-see.Copy !req
257. I agree-gree.Copy !req
258. Would you two please try and be
a little open-minded?Copy !req
259. Class, let's open our books
and continue with our poetry lesson.Copy !req
260. You know what I think about poetry?Copy !req
261. Oh, is that amusing?Copy !req
262. Is that what your generation
considers humor?Copy !req
263. - This make me kind of happy in pants.
- Yeah?Copy !req
264. Goodness.Copy !req
265. That make me kind of sad in pants.Copy !req
266. Shakespeare, Moliere...Copy !req
267. Oscar Wilde.Copy !req
268. These were humorists.Copy !req
269. I'm gonna be sick.Copy !req
270. The sublime poetic genius
of a clever turn of phrase.Copy !req
271. That is true comedy.Copy !req
272. Heavens to Betsy.Copy !req
273. Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded,
sophomoric excuse for wit...Copy !req
274. is merely a parade of nasty...Copy !req
275. filthy, vulgar...Copy !req
276. human excrement!Copy !req
277. - Hey, Janey. What's up?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
278. Ever want to be
the most popular girl in school?Copy !req
279. Anorexic, superficial?Copy !req
280. A whore who lacks any real
long-term goals?Copy !req
281. Exactly.Copy !req
282. If you're interested,
I thought we could go out sometime.Copy !req
283. Be seen in public.Copy !req
284. - We haven't spoken in four years.
- Actually, more like six.Copy !req
285. That time when we were
in line at that theater...Copy !req
286. I was actually saying "hey"
to the person behind you.Copy !req
287. Friday's championship game
is agalnst North Compton...Copy !req
288. and that squad always tries
to bring it.Copy !req
289. - Bring what, Priscilla?
- Bring it.Copy !req
290. Right, but what is "it"?Copy !req
291. It's just what they bring, okay?Copy !req
292. So then it is what.Copy !req
293. - What?
- Exactly. That's what it is.Copy !req
294. No, it is what I want it to be.Copy !req
295. Even if what is what what is
or it is what what is...Copy !req
296. it's just it no matter what, got it?Copy !req
297. I'm Sandy Sue.
It is simply swell to meet all of you.Copy !req
298. Peachy.
You brought a routine?Copy !req
299. Oh, you bet.Copy !req
300. Give me an H.
Give me a U.Copy !req
301. Give me a giant pussy-licking,
ass-fucker cock shit!Copy !req
302. I'm sorry.
That was my Tourette's.Copy !req
303. I don't know about her.Copy !req
304. Let's get it stralght.
This isn't a cheerocracy.Copy !req
305. I am the cheertator.Copy !req
306. I make the cheercisions,
I will deal with the cheeronsequences.Copy !req
307. If there are no more cheeruptions,
we can cheertinue.Copy !req
308. Thank you.Copy !req
309. Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass!
Cum face!Copy !req
310. She'll cheer do.
Great.Copy !req
311. Goddamn it, let's go now!
Thirty-two draw!Copy !req
312. Goddamn it!
Let's show some goddamn hustle!Copy !req
313. Look alive out there!
This isn't a goddamn tryout!Copy !req
314. - Goddamn it!
- Blue 21! Hut!Copy !req
315. What the hell?Copy !req
316. Nobody's covering that hole!Copy !req
317. Goddamn it!
Let's do it agaln!Copy !req
318. - Goddamn it!
- Marty! Marty! Marty!Copy !req
319. All right, Marty.Copy !req
320. - Get your ass in there.
- You sure?Copy !req
321. Just go, goddamn it.Copy !req
322. Wyler, we got this wrapped up.Copy !req
323. All you gotta do is run out the clock.Copy !req
324. For God's sakes,
don't try anything fancy!Copy !req
325. Goddamn it.Copy !req
326. Listen, boys.Copy !req
327. We got time for one more play.Copy !req
328. - I say we get the ball to Marty.
- Damn.Copy !req
329. No, I'm just happy
belng on the field.Copy !req
330. Coach reckons we should take a knee.
We're up 42-0.Copy !req
331. I don't care what coach reckons.Copy !req
332. You can't go through life
belng scared.Copy !req
333. If you do, you'll always wonder,
"What if?"Copy !req
334. But if you go out there
and you give it your all...Copy !req
335. that's heroic.Copy !req
336. Guys, I appreciate this, but...Copy !req
337. That's the spirlt! Ready?Copy !req
338. What are you doing?
Get out of here.Copy !req
339. Not here. Down there.Copy !req
340. Over here?Copy !req
341. What are you doing?
Over here!Copy !req
342. Here?Copy !req
343. We love you, Marty!Copy !req
344. Set, hut!Copy !req
345. No. No.Copy !req
346. No, don't throw it to me.Copy !req
347. No!Copy !req
348. - Nice hands, Marty!
- I did it.Copy !req
349. - I'm a hero!
- Walk it off!Copy !req
350. All right, goddamn it!
Hit the showers, goddamn it!Copy !req
351. Bunch of candy-asses.
Lousy practice!Copy !req
352. We'll get our asses kicked Friday!Copy !req
353. What about fourth-string?
I didn't get to practice.Copy !req
354. After all the shenanigans
you pulled last season...Copy !req
355. thank God you're still
in goddamn uniform, goddamn it!Copy !req
356. If my parents hear I got detention,
no dessert for a week.Copy !req
357. We've disgraced ourselves
and our families.Copy !req
358. Guys, guys.Copy !req
359. I sense the morale's a little low.
I say we make a pact...Copy !req
360. right here, right now.Copy !req
361. Before the end of the year,
we all get laid!Copy !req
362. We always make that pact.Copy !req
363. We've been walting for this
since puberty.Copy !req
364. - Two weeks ago!
- I just got first hair on ball.Copy !req
365. I don't think you understand.Copy !req
366. We'll become the masters of our
sexual destiny.Copy !req
367. No longer will our penises remaln
flaccid and unused.Copy !req
368. No longer steal Grandfather's porn.Copy !req
369. No longer will we use blindfolds
when we jerk each other off.Copy !req
370. All right, that's it.Copy !req
371. What in God's name is going on?Copy !req
372. - What was that ruckus?
- I no hear ruckus.Copy !req
373. - I heard a ruckus.
- Can you describe this ruckus, sir?Copy !req
374. You better watch your tongue,
young man!Copy !req
375. We were just sitting here.Copy !req
376. You just bought yourself
another detention.Copy !req
377. - That's not fair.
- Cry me a river, dickface.Copy !req
378. - You bought another one.
- Eat my shorts.Copy !req
379. What was that?Copy !req
380. Eat my shorts!Copy !req
381. - Don't mess with a bull.
- I'm shaking.Copy !req
382. - You got another.
- Good!Copy !req
383. - You through?
- Not even close, bud.Copy !req
384. - Want another one?
- Yes.Copy !req
385. - You got it!
- Good.Copy !req
386. - Another one. Had enough?
- No.Copy !req
387. - Another one.
- So?Copy !req
388. - I can keep going.
- Go!Copy !req
389. - Eenie, meenie, minie...
- Moe.Copy !req
390. - Your mom's a...
- Ho.Copy !req
391. - He's a famous clown.
- Bobo.Copy !req
392. Mitch, cut it out.Copy !req
393. Stop.Copy !req
394. - Another one.
- But I was...Copy !req
395. That's another one!Copy !req
396. - One more for Ox or for Mitch?
- Another.Copy !req
397. - I confused.
- Shut up, Wang Chung.Copy !req
398. I got you for the rest of your lives.
You're mine.Copy !req
399. Next time, I'm cracking skulls.Copy !req
400. How many times have I sald
I'm not going to Princeton?Copy !req
401. I'm not pressuring you.Copy !req
402. Just give it four years.Copy !req
403. If you don't like it,
you can work at my firm.Copy !req
404. I don't want your life!Copy !req
405. That's okay, son.Copy !req
406. I heard about what happened
with Priscilla.Copy !req
407. The good news is...Copy !req
408. I've got the perfect rebound girl.Copy !req
409. Really?Copy !req
410. Beverly! Could you come in here?Copy !req
411. That's Mom!Copy !req
412. What do you say, kiddo?Copy !req
413. I'm gonna leave you two alone.Copy !req
414. Would you prefer
the top or bottom, dear?Copy !req
415. Oh, my God!Copy !req
416. So you in love?Copy !req
417. - Yeah, I think I am.
- Well, who is this guy?Copy !req
418. His name is Blane. He's a senior.
He's so beautiful.Copy !req
419. Janey? Sweetheart?Copy !req
420. Hi, Daddy.Copy !req
421. Is something wrong?
You were quiet at dinner.Copy !req
422. You were passed out on the table.Copy !req
423. Listen, honey...Copy !req
424. I may not always be coherent
or conscious...Copy !req
425. but I know when my girl's
got something on her mind.Copy !req
426. Well, there is this popular boy,
Jake.Copy !req
427. Oh, sweetie.Copy !req
428. Jake knocked you up, didn't he?Copy !req
429. No, he asked me out.Copy !req
430. Do you like him?
Are you attracted to him?Copy !req
431. I mean, would you give him head?Copy !req
432. He is kind of cute, but...Copy !req
433. he's always been a total jerk.Copy !req
434. It's welrd that he's
talking to me now.Copy !req
435. Especially after you've packed on a
couple of pounds.Copy !req
436. What do you think I should do?Copy !req
437. Look, sweetie.Copy !req
438. I never want you to do anything
that compromises who you are...Copy !req
439. because you're very,
very special to me.Copy !req
440. If Jake is only asking you out
to get into your pants...Copy !req
441. well, then I'd say...Copy !req
442. go out with him.Copy !req
443. You could certalnly use
the popularity points.Copy !req
444. And if Jake likes you...Copy !req
445. then maybe those kids'll quit
throwing bags of shit on the porch.Copy !req
446. I feel better.Copy !req
447. Thanks for the advice, Daddy.Copy !req
448. That's what I'm here for,
pumpkin-tits.Copy !req
449. Catherine.Copy !req
450. - I need to ask you a favor.
- It's about time.Copy !req
451. No, not that.Copy !req
452. You're the cruelest girl
in high school.Copy !req
453. You're the only one who can help
trick Janey into liking me.Copy !req
454. That girl with the glasses
and the ponytall?Copy !req
455. Don't forget the
palnt-covered overalls.Copy !req
456. Well...Copy !req
457. it's going to be difficult.Copy !req
458. But I think I can help you.Copy !req
459. Sit.Copy !req
460. For a price.Copy !req
461. And this time,
I don't want your car.Copy !req
462. I want you.Copy !req
463. Catherine, that's disgusting.
You're my sister.Copy !req
464. Only by blood.Copy !req
465. - What is wrong with this family?
- Hey, do you want my help or not?Copy !req
466. Okay, there are three things
you need to do...Copy !req
467. to have Janey
eating out of your hand.Copy !req
468. First, you earn her trust.Copy !req
469. Punk!Copy !req
470. Come on, leave him alone!Copy !req
471. Hey! Come on, guys, back off.
That's enough, okay?Copy !req
472. You little shit.Copy !req
473. Don't you guys mess with him agaln.Copy !req
474. Once you've got her trust,
it's time to make her feel special.Copy !req
475. Pick a song with her name in it.
That always works.Copy !req
476. Janey's got a gunCopy !req
477. Janey's got a gunCopy !req
478. She's got a gun!
Janey's got a gun!Copy !req
479. The whole world's come undoneCopy !req
480. Janey Briggs got a gunCopy !req
481. So run away
Run away from the palnCopy !req
482. Take it easy, miss.Copy !req
483. - Walt.
- Get back here!Copy !req
484. Run away, run away from the palnCopy !req
485. Hold her down.Copy !req
486. Give me your hand!
Just give us the gun, Janey.Copy !req
487. After you've made her feel special...Copy !req
488. it's time to put the icing
on the cake.Copy !req
489. I'm really glad you showed up, Janey.Copy !req
490. The only reason I came here
was to tell you to leave me alone.Copy !req
491. You know, I was just making a snack.Copy !req
492. You want one?Copy !req
493. No. Listen, Jake...Copy !req
494. I'll be right back.Copy !req
495. But I...Copy !req
496. Hungry?Copy !req
497. I don't like sundaes.Copy !req
498. It's not a sundae,
it's a banana split.Copy !req
499. I don't like those elther.
Goodbye, Jake.Copy !req
500. So, Jake...Copy !req
501. how's it going with Janey, Janey,
I couldn't be any more plalny?Copy !req
502. Well, you can ask her when I take her
to Preston Wassersteln's big party.Copy !req
503. Really?Copy !req
504. Really.Copy !req
505. How fitting.Copy !req
506. Everyone here is eating steak...Copy !req
507. but your boy,
he's the chickenshit.Copy !req
508. Jake may not produce the proper
enzymes to digest red meat...Copy !req
509. but he'll always be
more of a quarterback than Austin.Copy !req
510. Oh, really?Copy !req
511. That's right.Copy !req
512. Really.Copy !req
513. Come on, son. Let's show them.Copy !req
514. I smell a bet.Copy !req
515. Come on, Austin.Copy !req
516. All right, Jake, let's do it.Copy !req
517. All right, let's go.Copy !req
518. What's the odds, huh?
Hey, what's the odds?Copy !req
519. What, 2-1? Shit.
You stupid damn hog.Copy !req
520. Must've been the wind, son.
Try agaln.Copy !req
521. Damn!Copy !req
522. I think I moved that time.Copy !req
523. And that time.Copy !req
524. Shit!Copy !req
525. That is wack.Copy !req
526. Just nall your mother, son.Copy !req
527. That's it. That's it.Copy !req
528. Way to go, Jake.Copy !req
529. At least you kept them
in the yard this time.Copy !req
530. I left some money
on the kitchen counter.Copy !req
531. Emergency numbers
are by the phone.Copy !req
532. And remember, son:
No parties.Copy !req
533. I know, Dad.Copy !req
534. Keg coming through.
Hey.Copy !req
535. What's up, man?Copy !req
536. We're trusting you, Preston.Copy !req
537. - Where do you want the speakers?
- In the dining room.Copy !req
538. You guys should hit the road.Copy !req
539. I'm taking your Ferrari
to buy hookers.Copy !req
540. We'll call you later to check in.Copy !req
541. I'll be so high,
I won't know where the phone is.Copy !req
542. That's my boy.Copy !req
543. Jake, what are you doing here?Copy !req
544. I'm taking you to Preston's big party.Copy !req
545. I can't.Copy !req
546. I'm not dressed to go to a party.
I'm a complete mess.Copy !req
547. I'd say you're one big fucking
traln wreck.Copy !req
548. Maybe a little cover-up
would do the trick.Copy !req
549. Okay.Copy !req
550. What do we have
to work with here?Copy !req
551. These are quite nice.Copy !req
552. And everything seems to be
in working order down here.Copy !req
553. What are you doing?Copy !req
554. That's it. I've got it.Copy !req
555. What?Copy !req
556. It might seem crazy,
but you'll have to trust me.Copy !req
557. That's it.Copy !req
558. I did it. I'm a miracle-worker.Copy !req
559. Gentlemen...Copy !req
560. may I present to you
the new and improved...Copy !req
561. Janey Briggs.Copy !req
562. Congratulations. You just got
your first slow-motion entrance.Copy !req
563. I'm okay!Copy !req
564. Janey?Copy !req
565. Come on out of there, honey.
Quit farting around.Copy !req
566. - Got your mom's car keys?
- Check.Copy !req
567. - Sleeping bags.
- Check.Copy !req
568. - Condoms.
- Check.Copy !req
569. Three pubescent libidos to take us
on a series of wild adventures.Copy !req
570. Check! Road trip!Copy !req
571. We here.Copy !req
572. Gentlemen, tonight we go to our
first high school party.Copy !req
573. This is the place to buzz the Brillo.Copy !req
574. How you plan on buzzing Brillo?Copy !req
575. With this letter.
Amanda Becker will know the truth:Copy !req
576. I've loved her since I first saw her.Copy !req
577. Mitch, that was yesterday.Copy !req
578. Welcome to the party.Copy !req
579. If you're going to have sex,
do it in my parents' bedroom.Copy !req
580. - Does she go to our school?
- It's not even the same person.Copy !req
581. Janey-stalney-stalned-pants-overalls?Copy !req
582. How did you talk me into this?Copy !req
583. Priscilla's freaking out
now that Janey's lost her ponytall.Copy !req
584. I'm going to go
fuck a complete stranger.Copy !req
585. Hey, I'm a complete stranger.Copy !req
586. Relax, all right?
It's going to be okay.Copy !req
587. Nice turtleneck.Copy !req
588. What's your name?Copy !req
589. I'm Sandy Sue.
Limp-dick fag-fucker!Copy !req
590. Who told you that?
Alison?Copy !req
591. Alison was bitter when we broke up.Copy !req
592. - Completely fake.
- Yeah, that's not her real hair color.Copy !req
593. - She's wearing the same outfit as me.
- It looks much better on you.Copy !req
594. Where is she?
I thought she'd be here by now.Copy !req
595. What's going on?Copy !req
596. We can't talk
until she starts moving again.Copy !req
597. What are you doing here?Copy !req
598. What do you mean?Copy !req
599. I'm supposed to be the only black guy
at this party.Copy !req
600. - Damn. Shit.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
601. - It's wack.
- It's wack.Copy !req
602. My bad, man.Copy !req
603. - Take this.
- Thanks.Copy !req
604. Do your thing.Copy !req
605. - Peace out, brother.
- Honest mistake.Copy !req
606. Yeah.Copy !req
607. Get back to the line, geek.Copy !req
608. Thank you.Copy !req
609. Hi, my name is Catherine.Copy !req
610. Yeah, I know.
We just had sex five minutes ago.Copy !req
611. Not scoring any cock elther?Copy !req
612. Cock? I've never even been kissed.Copy !req
613. Janey.Copy !req
614. Janey!Copy !req
615. Janey.Copy !req
616. What up, my yellow brothers?
Chinks in the house!Copy !req
617. This never actually happens
in real life.Copy !req
618. Then why are we doing this?Copy !req
619. I have no idea.Copy !req
620. Janey!Copy !req
621. Reggie Ray, have you
seen Janey anywhere?Copy !req
622. It's a good night for smoking.Copy !req
623. ain't that right, Sausage?Copy !req
624. Okay, now close your eyes
and wet your lips.Copy !req
625. - Are you for real?
- Do you want to learn or not?Copy !req
626. I guess.Copy !req
627. - See? That wasn't so scary.
- It was nothing.Copy !req
628. Okay.Copy !req
629. Let's try agaln.Copy !req
630. Only this time, I'm gonna
stick my tongue in your mouth.Copy !req
631. And when I do that, I want you
to massage my tongue with yours.Copy !req
632. - And that's what first base is.
- Okay.Copy !req
633. Eyes closed.Copy !req
634. That was cool.Copy !req
635. Now...Copy !req
636. have you ever eaten pussy before?Copy !req
637. You call this a party?Copy !req
638. I'm a golden goddess!Copy !req
639. - Show us how drunk you are!
- Go for it!Copy !req
640. You're a unique rebel, Janey!Copy !req
641. Janey, are you all right?Copy !req
642. - I told you not to let me drink.
- I gave you a nonalcoholic beer.Copy !req
643. What the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
644. I was invited.Copy !req
645. Look, you may have lost those glasses
and that ponytall thing...Copy !req
646. but you're still a loser.Copy !req
647. Look at that. Oh, my God.Copy !req
648. That's going to staln.Copy !req
649. You're not going to cry now, are you?Copy !req
650. Look, you can't just start
a slow clap at any old time.Copy !req
651. - You gotta walt for the right moment.
- When is it the right moment?Copy !req
652. You'll know.Copy !req
653. Nobody's allowed down here.Copy !req
654. Janey, I just thought...Copy !req
655. How did you get in here?
I dead-bolted the door.Copy !req
656. There's a hole in the side
of your house.Copy !req
657. Who's that?Copy !req
658. - It's my mother.
- You have her eyes.Copy !req
659. She died when I was 6.Copy !req
660. I'm sorry.Copy !req
661. I remember it like it was yesterday.Copy !req
662. Christmas, 1989. Dad had been
fired from the zipper factory.Copy !req
663. Mom was pulling in tricks
to make ends meet.Copy !req
664. Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar
for My Left Foot.Copy !req
665. And all I wanted was
a little Betsy Wetsy doll.Copy !req
666. I remember those. Push her belly,
she'd piss all over herself.Copy !req
667. She sald she was going out
to get my dad a bottle of gin...Copy !req
668. but I knew she was going
to get me that present.Copy !req
669. It was ralning really hard
that night...Copy !req
670. and the roads were slippery.Copy !req
671. Oh, God, Janey.
A car accident.Copy !req
672. No. Cancer.Copy !req
673. I had to take on
all of her responsibilities:Copy !req
674. Cooking and cleaning and
breast-feeding Mitch.Copy !req
675. It's in the past.
Think about your future.Copy !req
676. Look how talented you are.Copy !req
677. I have this dream of just hopping
on a plane and going to Paris.Copy !req
678. There's an art school,
but I can't afford it.Copy !req
679. Unless I ralse $26,000
before the admissions cutoff.Copy !req
680. My parents give a scholarship to girls
who can't get into art school.Copy !req
681. Really? That's amazing.Copy !req
682. This year we gave it to Lupe,
the Mexican finger palnter.Copy !req
683. I think you'd really like her work.Copy !req
684. Sometimes I wish my life
was a fairy tale...Copy !req
685. and some guy would come
and take me away.Copy !req
686. - I was...
- Yeah, because we...Copy !req
687. - My eyes were shut.
- And we couldn't even...Copy !req
688. I'm gonna...Copy !req
689. - I'm going to go.
- Okay.Copy !req
690. Congratulations to the men and
women nominated for prom queen.Copy !req
691. Janey!Copy !req
692. - Janey.
- What a nerd.Copy !req
693. Hi. Check it out.Copy !req
694. You have been nominated
for prom queen.Copy !req
695. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
696. - I can't believe it.
- Yeah.Copy !req
697. So do you have a date yet?Copy !req
698. No, nobody's asked me.Copy !req
699. Do you wanna go?Copy !req
700. Of course, if somebody asked me.Copy !req
701. Then I'm asking you right now.Copy !req
702. About what?Copy !req
703. The prom.Copy !req
704. Yeah, I know.
It's on Saturday, silly.Copy !req
705. See you in English.Copy !req
706. Okay.Copy !req
707. I had a feeling
you were gonna say that.Copy !req
708. Think you'll be prom queen?
Well, think agaln, Janey.Copy !req
709. You put the "ass" in "embarrassment,"
the "boo" in "taboo."Copy !req
710. And the "suck" in "liposuction."Copy !req
711. Is that the best you can do?Copy !req
712. No.Copy !req
713. You also put the "brat"
in "bratwurst."Copy !req
714. And the "eew" in "jujitsu."Copy !req
715. And the "ism" in "This is all
just a defense mechanism."Copy !req
716. So I told her, "Take the old lady and
send your mama back."Copy !req
717. So you asked your four-eyed
circus freak to the prom yet?Copy !req
718. - We resent that!
- We resent that!Copy !req
719. Why don't you just drop it, Austin.Copy !req
720. Jake made a few palnt stalns
in his pants thinking about Janey.Copy !req
721. It's just a bet. Okay, man?Copy !req
722. You always had a thing
for ugly girls...Copy !req
723. Mr. I-Have-
a- Thing-for-Ugly-Girls.Copy !req
724. You mean Janey?Copy !req
725. She looks as good
as a dumpster full of gristles.Copy !req
726. Bling-bling.Copy !req
727. Janey Briggs...Copy !req
728. is hot.Copy !req
729. - Hey, Janey.
- Hey, Jake.Copy !req
730. I've been doing a lot of thinking...Copy !req
731. and there's something
I want to ask you.Copy !req
732. I don't want to make
a big deal of it...Copy !req
733. so I'm just gonna lay it out there,
okay?Copy !req
734. Here it is.Copy !req
735. See, I don't like making big speeches.Copy !req
736. I'm a stralght shooter.
I call them like I see them.Copy !req
737. What you see is what you get.Copy !req
738. ain't nobody gonna break my stride.
ain't nobody gonna slow me down.Copy !req
739. Jake, are you trying
to ask me to the...?Copy !req
740. Yeah.Copy !req
741. I'd love to go with you.Copy !req
742. Great. Great.Copy !req
743. I'll see you in English.Copy !req
744. You...Copy !req
745. It's Friday night, it's 8:00...Copy !req
746. and that can only mean one thing.Copy !req
747. You guessed it. A new episode
of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.Copy !req
748. But if you're not a fan
of Melissa Joan Hart...Copy !req
749. and I'm not sure who isn't...Copy !req
750. there's a state championship
to be played.Copy !req
751. All right. It's time to play some football!Copy !req
752. The John Hughes Wasps take on
the North Compton Wildcats.Copy !req
753. Goddamn!Copy !req
754. That's the fastest half
of football ever.Copy !req
755. We saw you at our practice.
I know you stole our routine.Copy !req
756. I don't know what you mean.
We do our own cheers. Right, girls?Copy !req
757. That's right.Copy !req
758. Well, then, you better bring it.Copy !req
759. Oh, it's already been broughten.Copy !req
760. Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah!Copy !req
761. We are the North Compton WildcatsCopy !req
762. We're black, we know itCopy !req
763. We shake our booty and show itCopy !req
764. We ain't white
We ain't whiteCopy !req
765. We definitely ain't white
Break it down, niggaCopy !req
766. Damn, those bitches represent!Copy !req
767. All right!Copy !req
768. - Reggie Ray.
- I smell a bet.Copy !req
769. You all right?Copy !req
770. Coach says it's okay
to bleed from the ears.Copy !req
771. I got to go back out on the field.Copy !req
772. All right. Be careful.
You only have three...Copy !req
773. Two concussions left. Reggie Ray.Copy !req
774. And we're back.Copy !req
775. Let's go, Wasps!Copy !req
776. Let's go, Wasps!Copy !req
777. Let's go, Wasps!Copy !req
778. Blue 33! Set!Copy !req
779. That's defense right there.Copy !req
780. Say "good day" to Reggie Ray.Copy !req
781. Sit down. He got the wind
knocked out of him.Copy !req
782. - Come on, Reggie Ray, get up!
- Reggie Ray.Copy !req
783. You still have another concussion!Copy !req
784. Come on, dog!Copy !req
785. It doesn't look good, coach.Copy !req
786. - Can he play?
- He's in a coma.Copy !req
787. Answer my question! Can he play?Copy !req
788. He can't breathe.
Get him to a hospital.Copy !req
789. Listen right now!Copy !req
790. I don't care what you have to do!
He stays in the game, goddamn it!Copy !req
791. - Coach, I'm in love with you.
- Goddamn it!Copy !req
792. Fuck.Copy !req
793. Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy.Copy !req
794. Blue 15!Copy !req
795. Set! Hut!Copy !req
796. Goddamn it, Reggie Ray!Copy !req
797. Shit.Copy !req
798. Wham, bam, what the fuck
just happened?Copy !req
799. Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice.
You're the only quarterback I've got.Copy !req
800. - I say give the ball to Marty.
- I'm just happy belng on the field.Copy !req
801. - You'll always wonder, "What if?"
- I'm a hero!Copy !req
802. Goddamn it! Get in the game!Copy !req
803. You're our only chance!Copy !req
804. - You're a pussy, Wyler!
- Do it for Marty's torso!Copy !req
805. You got butterflies, huh?Copy !req
806. Who are you?Copy !req
807. I'm the wise janitor.Copy !req
808. I impart knowledge
and help overcome fears.Copy !req
809. I also replace the urinal cakes.Copy !req
810. I'm here to help you
get your throw back.Copy !req
811. - How did you...?
- I've been watching.Copy !req
812. During practice, in the hallways,
in the lockers, taking a shower...Copy !req
813. whipping boys with a wet towel.Copy !req
814. - Can tell you kind of like that.
- Hey! Let's get back to the throw.Copy !req
815. What happened to Marty
wasn't your fault.Copy !req
816. Really?Copy !req
817. Okay, it was.
But you got to get over it.Copy !req
818. It could've happened to anybody.Copy !req
819. Anybody that disobeyed the coach
and the team...Copy !req
820. and threw to a 90-pound kid
who shouldn't have been on the field.Copy !req
821. Stop! How is any of this
supposed to be helping me?Copy !req
822. Right. Forget what I sald.Copy !req
823. You got to go out there, believe
in the ball and throw yourself.Copy !req
824. You can do it.Copy !req
825. I'm going out there.Copy !req
826. Only 25 seconds remalning,
and the season...Copy !req
827. rests in the hands of fourth-string
quarterback Jake Wyler.Copy !req
828. We're shit out of luck.Copy !req
829. Give me a W!Copy !req
830. Give me a Y!Copy !req
831. Give me a...
Lick my pussy ass cock shit!Copy !req
832. Lick my pussy ass cock shit!Copy !req
833. Blue 83!Copy !req
834. - Blue 83!
- Reggie Ray?Copy !req
835. I reckon I'm feeling better.Copy !req
836. Set! Hut!Copy !req
837. Shit.Copy !req
838. That has to be the worst pass
I've ever seen, ever.Copy !req
839. What the hell was that?Copy !req
840. Jake?Copy !req
841. Jake.Copy !req
842. Hey.Copy !req
843. - You did great out there.
- I blew the game, Janey.Copy !req
844. I let everyone down.Copy !req
845. It's just a football game, Jake.
Besides...Copy !req
846. you didn't let me down.Copy !req
847. Really?Copy !req
848. Jake, you've taught me to be myself.Copy !req
849. You never saw me as the girl
in glasses.Copy !req
850. Don't forget the palnt-covered
overalls.Copy !req
851. Right, you never noticed those elther.Copy !req
852. You taught me a lot about myself too.Copy !req
853. Oh, Jake. Nothing could
ever come between us now.Copy !req
854. Nothing could
ever come between us now.Copy !req
855. Jake Wyler.Copy !req
856. Congratulations.
You blew my perfect season.Copy !req
857. - Senor You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season.
- What do you want, Austin?Copy !req
858. A life.Copy !req
859. And payback.Copy !req
860. - Come on, don't do this.
- No, I'll hang around.Copy !req
861. Maybe tell Janey a little
S-E-C-R-A-T-P...Copy !req
862. What's going on?Copy !req
863. Austin.Copy !req
864. This isn't funny!Copy !req
865. No.Copy !req
866. I don't believe it.Copy !req
867. I sald I'd turn you into prom queen
when I thought you were ugly...Copy !req
868. the girl with no friends who was
dirt poor and smelled a little funky.Copy !req
869. Look, I made a mistake.Copy !req
870. If I could go back, I never would've
made that stupid bet.Copy !req
871. What bet?Copy !req
872. I never sald anything about a bet.Copy !req
873. All I sald was:Copy !req
874. "I'm pretending to whisper...Copy !req
875. so Jake thinks I'm telling you a
secret and will confess...Copy !req
876. revealing a secret and confirming
everything I whispered in your ear."Copy !req
877. I wish I didn't make that betCopy !req
878. That's not the guy I want to beCopy !req
879. If I could just turn back the clockCopy !req
880. Then Janey would still be with meCopy !req
881. Tell me, Mom, what should I do?Copy !req
882. I love this boyCopy !req
883. But he has been untrueCopy !req
884. I'll do my best to make things rightCopy !req
885. I wish we could resolve this fightCopy !req
886. It could happenCopy !req
887. It could happenCopy !req
888. - At the prom tonight
- At the prom tonightCopy !req
889. I'm getting pussy no matter whatCopy !req
890. Even if it with dirty slutCopy !req
891. True love is what I want the mostCopy !req
892. I just jerked off in your French toastCopy !req
893. So what if we have the same motherCopy !req
894. Tonight I'm gonna fuck my brotherCopy !req
895. In a few hours
I'll be queen of the promCopy !req
896. I've been an alcoholic
Since my first tour in NamCopy !req
897. I asked Janey to the prom
And she doesn't know whyCopy !req
898. I'm only in the song because
I'm a black guyCopy !req
899. I have no money
I have to make my own dressCopy !req
900. Look at me, my breasts are perky, yesCopy !req
901. I'm gonna win her back
No matter what it takesCopy !req
902. Here I go, I'm gonna
Forget about JakeCopy !req
903. Prom tonightCopy !req
904. Prom tonightCopy !req
905. Prom tonightCopy !req
906. It's gonna happen, gonna happenCopy !req
907. At the promCopy !req
908. TonightCopy !req
909. Hi, Ricky.Copy !req
910. Thanks. See you in English.Copy !req
911. Oh, but we're graduated.Copy !req
912. All right, can you...? I'm not...
No, can you take it ba...?Copy !req
913. Can you please not...? All right.Copy !req
914. When I was a freshman,
I threw 176 touchdown passes.Copy !req
915. My sophomore year, I ran 14 in
on my own with a spralned ankle...Copy !req
916. a broken phalange, a ruptured
duodenum and subdermal hematoma.Copy !req
917. When I was a junior,
I won the science fair...Copy !req
918. for running a Volkswagen Bug
off a potato.Copy !req
919. Most recently, I was a star of the
Greco-Roman Wrestling Federation.Copy !req
920. I bet she great bonk.Copy !req
921. Excuse me, Bruce? No.
You don't bonk Amanda Becker.Copy !req
922. You make sweet, sweet love to her.Copy !req
923. Amanda Becker's like a flower.Copy !req
924. You smell her.Copy !req
925. You touch her gently.Copy !req
926. You admire the beauty.
You watch it blossom.Copy !req
927. And you thank God he created
something so perfect.Copy !req
928. Go to her.Copy !req
929. Be strong, Mitch!Copy !req
930. What do you expect from me?Copy !req
931. - Do you think I'll have sex with you?
- No! You don't understand.Copy !req
932. Because I am not a cheap slut.Copy !req
933. I don't screw every pathetic guy
that gives me a letter.Copy !req
934. I give them hand jobs.Copy !req
935. - Want to dance?
- Only if we're horizontal.Copy !req
936. I totally heard that.Copy !req
937. We're dancing.Copy !req
938. It's funny.Copy !req
939. You'd never suspect everyone
here is a professional dancer.Copy !req
940. Oh, God. No.Copy !req
941. I want to do it here
on the dance floor.Copy !req
942. Janey!Copy !req
943. Don't you forget our deal.
She wins, you're mine.Copy !req
944. And now the moment every
popular guy who's made a bet...Copy !req
945. to turn a rebellious girl
into prom queen has been walting for:Copy !req
946. The announcement
of the prom king and queen.Copy !req
947. This year's prom king is...Copy !req
948. Marty!Copy !req
949. Jake Wyler!Copy !req
950. Way to go, Jake!Copy !req
951. This year's prom queen is...Copy !req
952. You got it, Priscilla!Copy !req
953. I don't believe it. It's a tie.Copy !req
954. A tie?Copy !req
955. - Holy shit!
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
956. Your new prom queens are...Copy !req
957. Kara and Sara Fratelli.
- Fuck.Copy !req
958. - Oh, my God!
- They deserve it.Copy !req
959. Congratulations!Copy !req
960. There we go! Your king and queen.Copy !req
961. I say we make like a tree
and branch...Copy !req
962. out of here.Copy !req
963. All right, Kara and Sara.Copy !req
964. Now it is traditional
for the king and queen...Copy !req
965. to share a ceremonial dance.
- Come here.Copy !req
966. Put your heads on my shoulderCopy !req
967. You smell good.Copy !req
968. Janey!Copy !req
969. Do you know where Austin went?Copy !req
970. I know he rented a room at
the Sunrise Motel. Room number six.Copy !req
971. Past the ice dispenser. Hit the
Pepsi machine, you went too far.Copy !req
972. Oh, and the door will not be locked.Copy !req
973. That's all I know.Copy !req
974. Thanks, Malik.Copy !req
975. You're intelligent and insightful.
You don't get the respect you deserve.Copy !req
976. You really mean that, Jake?Copy !req
977. That's great! I've always wanted
to discuss...Copy !req
978. I actually got to go. Sorry.Copy !req
979. Motherfucker.Copy !req
980. Hold it right there, mister.Copy !req
981. I am not going to let you hurt Janey
agaln, okay? Besides, I love her.Copy !req
982. Well, so do I.Copy !req
983. But I'm the best friend, and I've
been in front of her the whole time...Copy !req
984. and she just doesn't realize
it yet, but she will.Copy !req
985. I'm the cool guy who's learned
the error of his ways.Copy !req
986. She'll forgive my mistakes
and realize I love her.Copy !req
987. Damn it. That's true.Copy !req
988. Why's this door locked?
It's a fire hazard!Copy !req
989. Get out of the road!Copy !req
990. Hey, watch it, man!Copy !req
991. She's not attracted to you!Copy !req
992. She doesn't love you!Copy !req
993. You'll never be more than a friend!Copy !req
994. Two dollars!Copy !req
995. Ice dispenser.Copy !req
996. Six.Copy !req
997. Yeah! I'll make you forget all
about losing prom queen.Copy !req
998. Tell me who your daddy is!
Tell me who your papa is!Copy !req
999. Get off her, man!Copy !req
1000. Priscilla.Copy !req
1001. Don't move.Copy !req
1002. - What's going on?
- Something beautiful.Copy !req
1003. - Where's Janey?
- Miss Run-Home-to-My-Daddy...Copy !req
1004. ran home to her daddy.Copy !req
1005. - That's for taking Janey to the prom.
- You put the...Copy !req
1006. - That's for hurting her at the party!
- This is really turning me on.Copy !req
1007. That's for belng really welrd.Copy !req
1008. Thank you.Copy !req
1009. I don't know what that was for.Copy !req
1010. - Oh, me so horny.
- Oh, me so horny.Copy !req
1011. You nerd who can't get pussy
from American girl?Copy !req
1012. You smart cookie. How you know?Copy !req
1013. I know.Copy !req
1014. You follow me,
I give you sucky-sucky.Copy !req
1015. Hey! What's everybody
standing around for?Copy !req
1016. Come on. Join the fun!Copy !req
1017. Watch me!Copy !req
1018. Get footloose everybody! Yeah!Copy !req
1019. One, two, three.
Come on, you can...Copy !req
1020. Kick him in the butt!Copy !req
1021. Hello.Copy !req
1022. Hi.Copy !req
1023. I never thought I'd hear myself
say this...Copy !req
1024. but for once, I wish I could meet
a nice, sensitive guy...Copy !req
1025. who wanted more than just sex.Copy !req
1026. That is very admirable.Copy !req
1027. I wish a guy would
take me out for dinner.Copy !req
1028. I feel the same way.Copy !req
1029. And for once...Copy !req
1030. I wish a guy would take a dump
on my chest.Copy !req
1031. That is appalling.Copy !req
1032. That really upsets me.Copy !req
1033. I can't believe nobody's ever taken
a dump on your chest.Copy !req
1034. Will you be that guy?Copy !req
1035. It would be an honor and a privilege.Copy !req
1036. Janey!Copy !req
1037. Hello?Copy !req
1038. Is anybody home?Copy !req
1039. Get down! Enemy fire!Copy !req
1040. Mr. Briggs?Copy !req
1041. Excuse me, sir.
Do you know where Janey is?Copy !req
1042. She went out there. On her own.
There's Charlie everywhere.Copy !req
1043. Right. Do you know where she went?Copy !req
1044. Couldn't take it. Went to the airport.Copy !req
1045. Something about Paris.
Her tour was over.Copy !req
1046. Paris. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
1047. I need ammo! I can't hold them off
much longer!Copy !req
1048. She's not here.Copy !req
1049. Went to the airport.Copy !req
1050. Thanks.Copy !req
1051. You're welcome.Copy !req
1052. Off the road, you glasses
and ponytall freak!Copy !req
1053. Two dollars!Copy !req
1054. - Two dollars!
- Two dollars!Copy !req
1055. Next stop, airport.Copy !req
1056. The red zone is for the loading
and unloading of passengers.Copy !req
1057. No parking.Copy !req
1058. Attention, please.Copy !req
1059. All red Porsche 944s parked in the
white zone will be towed immediately.Copy !req
1060. Paris air, flight 805 to art school
in Paris...Copy !req
1061. from gate 122, is now boarding.Copy !req
1062. Excuse me, everyone!Copy !req
1063. There's a girl boarding a plane
right now to Paris that I love.Copy !req
1064. If I don't get there in time and
tell her how I feel...Copy !req
1065. I may never see her agaln.Copy !req
1066. Go get her, son.Copy !req
1067. Good luck, young man.Copy !req
1068. - Go get her!
- Go for it.Copy !req
1069. Oh, hell, just go.Copy !req
1070. Freeze, bitch!Copy !req
1071. You're bleeding on my suitcase.Copy !req
1072. Excuse me!Copy !req
1073. Excuse me, everyone!Copy !req
1074. There's a girl about to board a plane
to Paris right now that I love...Copy !req
1075. We already heard that one. Asshole.Copy !req
1076. This is the final call for Paris air
flight 805 to art school...Copy !req
1077. departing from gate 122.Copy !req
1078. Janey!Copy !req
1079. Hey, shithead, that's mine.Copy !req
1080. Give it back!Copy !req
1081. Just believe in the ball, Jake.
And throw yourself.Copy !req
1082. Yeah.Copy !req
1083. Yes!Copy !req
1084. Nice shot, Jake.Copy !req
1085. - Jake?
- Janey.Copy !req
1086. Thank God I got to you in time.
Listen to me.Copy !req
1087. I'm not going to let you go to Paris.Copy !req
1088. - This is the final call...
- Why not?Copy !req
1089. for flight 805 to art school.Copy !req
1090. If you're finding words to stop a girl
from leaving, now would be the time.Copy !req
1091. Janey...Copy !req
1092. I made that bet before I knew you.Copy !req
1093. Before I really knew me.Copy !req
1094. Oh, Jake.Copy !req
1095. Okay, hold it right there.Copy !req
1096. Tell me you didn't quote
Freddie Prinze Jr.Copy !req
1097. I knew it. That was a line
from She's All That.Copy !req
1098. I masturbate to that movie.Copy !req
1099. Do you mind?Copy !req
1100. No, not at all.
Masturbation's very healthy.Copy !req
1101. No, stay out of it.Copy !req
1102. Oh, I'm sorry.
I just had to say something.Copy !req
1103. I couldn't help myself. Go on.Copy !req
1104. Thank you.Copy !req
1105. Janey, you sald you couldn't believe
in someone that didn't believe in you.Copy !req
1106. Well, I believed in you.
I always believed in you.Copy !req
1107. Oh, Jake.Copy !req
1108. Oh, God. I can't believe
you fell for that crap.Copy !req
1109. - That's Pretty in Pink.
- Are you sure?Copy !req
1110. Trust me.Copy !req
1111. - Excuse me. What are you doing?
- Let me give you some advice, Jake.Copy !req
1112. Lose the I'm-the-cute-and-sensitive-
popular-boy routine.Copy !req
1113. It's pathetic.Copy !req
1114. And tell Janey
what's true in your heart.Copy !req
1115. Stop belng such a little bitch.Copy !req
1116. But I was just trying to...Copy !req
1117. Don't even use that eyebrow move
on me. It's not gonna work.Copy !req
1118. You do overuse that move.Copy !req
1119. And you.Copy !req
1120. Miss Other-Side-of-the-Tracks-
Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses.Copy !req
1121. Wise up to Jake's bullshit.
Stop belng such a dumb-ass.Copy !req
1122. She's right.Copy !req
1123. - Janey...
- Yes, Jake?Copy !req
1124. Maybe you should get on that plane
and go to Paris.Copy !req
1125. Well, if you stay,
we really only have the summer.Copy !req
1126. Then I go to college. We'll spend
the occasional weekend together.Copy !req
1127. Which is nice.Copy !req
1128. But chances are, one night I'll get
wrecked and have sex with some girl.Copy !req
1129. You'll call me a slut.Copy !req
1130. I'll call you a cock-tease,
and we'll break up.Copy !req
1131. So when you really think about it,
what's the point?Copy !req
1132. Well, that wasn't exactly the kind
of truth I was expecting.Copy !req
1133. But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big
a dumb-ass do you think I am?Copy !req
1134. You obviously stole that
from Karate Kid.Copy !req
1135. No, actually, I...Copy !req
1136. Jake, it's okay.Copy !req
1137. I love you too.Copy !req
1138. We all know where this is going.Copy !req
1139. Fucking teenagers.Copy !req
1140. This is it.Copy !req
1141. The right moment.Copy !req
1142. Son of a bitch!Copy !req
1143. Well, Mitch, I learned
a very valuable lesson.Copy !req
1144. I realized that I don't really wanna
get involved with a girl...Copy !req
1145. unless I'm really in love with her.Copy !req
1146. Yeah.Copy !req
1147. Nice try, Ox.
We know you took it in the ass.Copy !req
1148. Believe it or not,
I, too, learned a valuable lesson.Copy !req
1149. Bruce, your accent.
What happened?Copy !req
1150. You see, I realized
that the best way to get the girl...Copy !req
1151. is to just be yourself.Copy !req
1152. For most people that would be
a very valuable lesson.Copy !req
1153. But in your case,
I'd stick to being Chinese.Copy !req
1154. Japanese.Copy !req
1155. So what'd you learn
last night?Copy !req
1156. Gentlemen, I learned
the greatest lesson of all.Copy !req
1157. That unlike everyone else
in these teen movies...Copy !req
1158. I don't wanna learn
some dumb-ass valuable lesson.Copy !req
1159. I still wanna fuck!Copy !req
1160. - Hey.
- All right.Copy !req
1161. Ready?Copy !req
1162. And action!Copy !req
1163. Come on, Austin.Copy !req
1164. Holy shit!Copy !req
1165. I'm a fucking god!Copy !req