Nobody's Fool (1994)

1. Come on, mother.

2. You're going to catch your death.

3. Mr. Sullivan?

4. Mr. Sullivan!

5. God just took out Mrs. Gruber's birdbath.

6. He's getting closer, Clive.

7. Last year, it was the streetlight

8. at the end of the block.

9. Now it's Mrs. Gruber's birdbath.

10. I think God's zeroing in on me.

11. I have the feeling

12. this is the year he lowers the boom.

13. Still alive in there, old lady?

14. You didn't die in your sleep, did you?

15. Not yet. Ha!

16. Well, you're talking to yourself,

17. so it can't be too long.

18. As a matter of fact, I wasn't talking to myself.

19. I was talking to Clive Sr.

20. Good. For a while there,

21. i thought you were going batty on me.

22. Can I interest you in a cup of tea?

23. No. Not now. Not ever.

24. Why are you wearing a necktie?

25. You're not in trouble

26. with the police again, are you?

27. Not unless you blew the whistle

28. on my parking tickets.

29. I should. There's probably a reward.

30. Before they do

31. throw you in the hoosegow,

32. would you mind fixing the porch railing?

33. It's been broken for a month.

34. Sure thing, old girl.

35. Just don't forget.

36. Do I ever?

37. Yes.

38. Well, I won't this time.

39. So, what's the bank been up to lately?

40. I wish you wouldn't call him that.

41. Is Clive Jr. springing for Thanksgiving dinner?

42. Yes. As a matter of fact,

43. my son is taking me to the country club.

44. Uh-huh. "We wear the chains we forge in life."

45. I don't suppose you remember

46. who said that.

47. You did, Miss Beryl,

48. all through eighth grade.

49. Hey, dummy, don't you have

50. enough sense to come inside

51. where it's warm?

52. Know what I always wish?

53. I wish that I had me enough money

54. for a warm coat.

55. You know what else I wish?

56. No. What else do you wish?

57. I wish we'd go back to working together

58. like we used to.

59. I hear Carl Roebuck has this big Victorian—

60. Oh, no.

61. Well, he's redoing it.

62. No. Forget it.

63. Six months' work, all indoors.

64. I told you. I'm not working for him again.

65. Besides, my lawyer says

66. when I get out of court today,

67. I'm going to be a rich man.

68. Uh...

69. in that case, could I borrow $10?

70. Rub, there are women in this town

71. that I could hang out with

72. that would be cheaper than you.

73. Yeah, but they wouldn't be your friend.

74. Well, here we are again, Mr. Wirfleet.

75. The question is, why?

76. Your Honor, we would like to document for the court

77. the deterioration of my client's knee

78. resulting from an injury he sustained

79. while in the employ

80. of the Tip Top Construction Company.

81. I have here countless documents from reputable doctors

82. who have...

83. who have—

84. I had them here someplace.

85. Mr. Wirfleet.

86. Mr. Wirfleet, you have failed

87. on numerous occasions to demonstrate

88. that the injury in question

89. was a result of negligence

90. on the part of the employer.

91. The court finds

92. for the Tip Top Construction Company

93. and against Mr. Sullivan.

94. Sully! Sully?

95. I should have known better

96. than to hire a one-legged lawyer.

97. You can't afford a two-legged lawyer.

98. Don't get discouraged, O.K.?

99. It's a temporary setback, that's all.

100. You got to remember our strategy.

101. Strategy? It's the first

102. I ever heard of any strategy.

103. Sooner or later,

104. we'll wear the bastards down.

105. The court is already starting to get pissed.

106. You heard the judge.

107. He's pissed at you, Wirf.

108. Only because he knows I won't go away.

109. I know how he feels.

110. He called in sick.

111. He's on the phone. He's in the Bahamas.

112. Take your pick.

113. He doesn't want to see you.

114. The Bahamas sound swell, Ruby.

115. Grab his checkbook. We'll take off.

116. There's about a thousand other guys

117. I would take with me before you.

118. Thanks, honey.

119. I heard the judge threw you and that two-bit lawsuit

120. out of court.

121. Hope you didn't have to pay him

122. more than you owed me.

123. Ah, Sully, don't be bitter.

124. America's a great place.

125. Where else could a cripple and a drunk one-legged lawyer

126. even get to talk to a judge?

127. The good news is,

128. I got a job even you can't screw up.

129. I told you. I'm not working for you

130. till you pay me what you owe me.

131. Forget about it. You were working off the books, O.K.?

132. You don't hire anybody

133. unless they work off the books.

134. And you won't work except off the books, Sully.

135. Think you got a right to steal from anybody

136. that's got a couple of bucks in their pocket?

137. Huh? I'm supposed to assume the position

138. just 'cause you got a bum knee and no prospects?

139. Bullshit.

140. Besides, you did shoddy work, O.K.?

141. You think I got What?

142. where I got by doing shoddy work?

143. No.

144. You didn't get where you are

145. by doing shoddy work.

146. You didn't get where you are

147. by doing any work.

148. You got where you are

149. because your daddy gave it to you,

150. and he drove himself into an early grave

151. so you could piss it away on ski trips

152. and sports cars.

153. I ain't been skiing in two years, Sully.

154. Look, personally, I don't give a goddamn

155. whether you go broke,

156. which you probably will, but before you do,

157. you're going to pay me what you owe me.

158. I'm not going to pay you.

159. I don't owe you a goddamn cent, O.K.?

160. I'm going to grab you by your pinhead,

161. and I'm going to throw you out the window.

162. 5, 4,

163. 3, 2, 1.

164. What kind of work?

165. Ooh!

166. Shit.

167. Dad?

168. Peter?

169. Do you need a lift?

170. All right.

171. Well, it's been a while.

172. Three years.

173. Aren't you supposed to be working or teaching?

174. What's that school?

175. The University of West Virginia.

176. Oh, yeah.

177. What brings you guys this far north?

178. Vera. Welcome to the Thanksgiving from hell.

179. Goddamn it, Charlotte.

180. If we're going to start the weekend

181. like this...

182. Oh, Vera. How is she, anyways?

183. I don't think I've seen her

184. since the last time you guys were up here.

185. How can you live in a town this size

186. and not see your ex-wife all the time?

187. That's easy, darling.

188. Peter's mom and I don't exactly travel in the same circles.

189. As a matter of fact,

190. Vera pretty much travels in a straight line.

191. Somebody in this family had to.

192. Who are you?

193. He's your grandfather.

194. Does he always look like that?

195. Yeah, most of the time.

196. How come they call you Wacker?

197. Ooh!

198. Wacker!

199. I didn't do anything.

200. You O.K.? What's the matter?

201. Stop the car.

202. What happened?

203. Stop the car before I throw that little son of a bitch out.

204. How come everybody always picks on me?

205. Go get your dad. See if he's ok.

206. Somebody tell me what's going on.

207. What do you think, Peter?

208. Go get your dad.

209. All right, all right.

210. Why are you always hitting people?

211. What the hell happened, Dad?

212. What's the matter?

213. Jesus Christ.

214. Wacker did that?

215. Don't be a jerk.

216. I fell off a scaffold about six months ago.

217. Have you seen a doctor?

218. Yes, about 20 of them.

219. What did they say?

220. About 20 different things.

221. Well, thanks for the lift.

222. Look, get back in the car.

223. I'll take you wherever you want to go.

224. Oh, no.

225. See you around.

226. You sure you're O.K.?

227. Ah, I'm good. I'm good.

228. Don't worry about it.

229. Hey, listen, why don't you stop by Mom's tomorrow?

230. Huh? Better ask Vera about that.

231. I don't have to ask permission

232. to invite my own father to Thanksgiving dinner.

233. I'll think about it.

234. Hey!

235. Yeah?

236. You ain't naked or anything, are you?

237. No, but I can be in about two seconds.

238. Take your time. I need a cup of coffee.

239. Hello?

240. East Towing? Sullivan.

241. Yeah, uh, I'm just around the corner,

242. 313 Harvin.

243. Pick me up.

244. Sure, Sully. Will that be cash?

245. Charge it.

246. Tip Top Construction Company.

247. Thanks.

248. Horace?

249. Hi, Sully. I ain't naked either.

250. Well, thank God for that.

251. Lord, how does a man get that dirty?

252. Working for your husband.

253. I thought you were never going to work for Carl again.

254. It's just temporary.

255. Here's your keys.

256. I wish I hadn't let you talk me into doing this.

257. Oh, well. I'd cash it as quickly as possible.

258. Thanks, Mr. Yancy.

259. Hey, while you got your checkbook out,

260. why don't you pay me

261. what your husband owes me?

262. Dummy and I ironed things out at the office,

263. but all he had was the company checkbook.

264. Nice try, Sully.

265. He does owe me.

266. Well, get in line. He owes everybody.

267. You take a big pile of money,

268. and you go have a heart by-pass.

269. See how much money you have left after that.

270. What's going on?

271. I've changed the locks. I've thrown out his clothes.

272. As far as I'm concerned, he no longer lives here.

273. It's a bold move.

274. It won't work.

275. It might get his attention.

276. Well, maybe it will, and maybe it won't.

277. You know what?

278. When my Trifecta comes in,

279. why don't you dump what's-his-name

280. and run away with me?

281. Where would we go?

282. Hawaii. Someplace where it's warm,

283. where they got umbrellas in the drinks,

284. where they rub you with coconut oil.

285. Got to go.

286. Hang in there.

287. Hang in there? That's it?

288. That's the sum of your wisdom on the subject?

289. That's the sum of my wisdom on most subjects.

290. Hey, there you are.

291. Where the hell have you been?

292. I've been looking everywhere for you.

293. You should have given up.

294. Aces over.

295. 310s.

296. Phooey.

297. Deal me in.

298. I sure do like a woman whose love ain't for sale.

299. Screw you, Sully.

300. I got to go tinkle.

301. Ruby!

302. What now?

303. Don't take your love to town.

304. Have a little respect, fellas.

305. Ha ha ha!

306. Look,

307. I know we didn't do so good today,

308. but there's a zillion things we can try.

309. Nope.

310. When was the last time you won a case, Wirf?

311. What's that got to do with anything?

312. Cut.

313. Gray river round a green monkey's ass.

314. You know, Sully,

315. you're the only guy I know

316. still dumb enough to believe in luck.

317. I used to believe in brains and hard work

318. till I met you.

319. Ha ha ha!

320. Deal.

321. Seven-card.

322. Which one of your fancy doctors

323. advised you to drink, smoke, and screw your brains out?

324. Those are unreasonable requests, Sully.

325. They wouldn't have made them if they didn't know me.

326. If they'd known you, they wouldn't have fixed you.

327. King bets.

328. Last call.

329. You want to sheetrock

330. one of them houses for me

331. over on Nelson tomorrow?

332. I thought you said

333. you were never going to work for Carl again.

334. Shut up, Rub.

335. Sheetrocking is a two-man job.

336. What about it, rubber head?

337. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.

338. I won't work on Thanksgiving.

339. Sure you will.

340. Hmm!

341. Double time.

342. In your dreams.

343. Sheetrock the son of a bitch yourself.

344. Why should I pay you double time, Sully?

345. Hey, what's tomorrow, Rub?

346. It's fucking Thanksgiving.

347. Know what burns my ass, Sully?

348. You wouldn't even know it was Thanksgiving

349. if it wasn't for Rub.

350. I know enough to know that it's double time. Five.

351. Know what Thanksgiving is?

352. Down and dirty.

353. Thanksgiving is a time

354. for normal people, Sully,

355. to do normal things,

356. to be in the bosom of their family,

357. and that, my friend, is not you.

358. It's still going to be double time.

359. Yeah. Sheetrock the son of a bitch yourself.

360. Bet's to you, Jocko.

361. 10.

362. Well, I'm out.

363. What's wrong with you?

364. I'm trying to communicate with you telepathically.

365. Ha ha! Forget about it.

366. The only way to communicate with Sully

367. is to whack him in the head with a shovel.

368. It's your bet, genius.

369. 15.

370. Call.

371. Call.

372. Eights full.

373. All the nines.

374. Oh, Jesus H. Christ.

375. I was trying to tell you to fold.

376. Cash me in, Jocko.

377. You know, Rub, I think your supervisor here

378. is in for a little rude awakening.

379. Tomorrow morning about 7 a.m.,

380. he's going to be out there

381. shoveling old Miss Beryl's driveway,

382. 10 below, fingers freezing,

383. and all of a sudden,

384. it's going to occur to him,

385. "Hey, I could be indoors

386. "working where it's nice and warm,

387. "working with my old buddy Rub.

388. "I know what I'll do.

389. "call my good friend honest Carl Roebuck,

390. "take him up on that

391. "sheetrocking job he offered me.

392. "maybe earn back some of my money

393. I lost playing cards."

394. But you know what?

395. By tomorrow,

396. it's going to be too fuckin' late.

397. Think about it, schmucko.

398. Is that you, Sully?

399. Yeah.

400. Did you come to steal our new snow blower?

401. I've done it already, just about.

402. I could legally shoot you

403. and get away with it.

404. Not unless I'm breaking and entering.

405. Are you going to break and enter?

406. Ha ha!

407. So, what's happening with dummy?

408. I don't know.

409. He took my threat to shoot him

410. a lot more seriously than you just did.

411. The poor guy just had a by-pass.

412. Maybe he's trying to cram everything he can do

413. into six months.

414. When he realizes he's going to live until he's 70,

415. he'll slow down.

416. If I had my way,

417. he wouldn't live till Thanksgiving.

418. Go ahead. Steal our snow blower.

419. You're the slowest goddamn thief

420. I ever saw.

421. Sully, give me a light.

422. Huh?

423. Give me a light.

424. Go home, you jerk.

425. You're married

426. to the best-looking woman in Bath.

427. Who was it said,

428. "A man's reach should exceed his grasp"?

429. And tell her you love her, huh?

430. Or else I will.

431. God, Sully. Ha ha!

432. I sure hope I don't end up like you.

433. I hope you don't either.

434. 60 years old

435. and still getting crushes

436. on other men's wives.

437. I would hope by the time I'm your age,

438. I'm a little smarter than that.

439. Can't hurt to hope.

440. You sure are off to a slow start.

441. You know, I got one just like that.

442. Identical.

443. Does this mean

444. you're finally going to get around

445. to fixing my porch railing?

446. I'll do it today. I promise.

447. Do you mind my asking what you are doing?

448. I'm keeping the guy that I stole this from

449. from stealing it back.

450. Donald, does it ever bother you

451. that you haven't done more

452. with the life God gave you?

453. Not often.

454. Now and then.

455. And it's not just the theme park.

456. It's all the businesses that open along with it—

457. hotels, restaurants, gas stations.

458. You people have any idea

459. what property values are going to go to around here?

460. Just this morning, Mr. Lomax and I

461. were talking on the phone.

462. He said—C.W., do you mind telling these people

463. what you told me?

464. The fact is, Clive Jr.,

465. of 100 million.

466. That's just for starters.

467. Well, ladies and gentlemen,

468. I think they want us to go up.

469. Mother.

470. Well, yes, I will say

471. that I certainly have appreciated your hospitality.

472. Clive has been just wonderful through all of this.

473. I couldn't have done any of it without him.

474. You must be very proud of your son.

475. Actually, he's not really my son.

476. They switched bassinets in the hospital.

477. It's a long story, Clive.

478. She's just kidding.

479. Want some help?

480. No.

481. Mom, uh...

482. Charlotte wants us to leave in the morning.

483. It's just that...

484. we're not doing too well.

485. Being here makes it worse.

486. You know who I blame for this?

487. Donald Sullivan.

488. Mom.

489. There was this show on Oprah the other day

490. about men who can't face responsibility,

491. about how they had destroyed their children's lives.

492. I promise you, it fit Donald Sullivan to a "T."

493. If there's one thing Oprah understands,

494. it's men.

495. What's that truck doing out there?

496. Dad?

497. Hey, how are you?

498. I'm sorry I'm late. I just got here.

499. Shit.

500. He's going to dive for the goal.

501. Touchdown Miami!

502. Sully! Is that you?

503. Hey, hello.

504. What a surprise.

505. Vera will be tickled pink to see you.

506. Your mother doesn't know I'm coming?

507. I didn't think you'd really show up.

508. Vera! Guess who's here.

509. I'll be right there.

510. What's taking you so long?

511. I have to pee.

512. Out of the way, doofus!

513. Wacker!

514. wacker, I'm warning you.

515. Listen, I forgot something in the garage.

516. Yeah. I'd better check on Charlotte.

517. I really mean it this time, Wacker.

518. Sully.

519. Ow!

520. Happy Thanksgiving.

521. Mommy! Ow!

522. Wacker.

523. No.

524. Aah!

525. Come out of there now, Will.

526. What are you doing here?

527. What's the matter, sweetie?

528. What happened?

529. What did you do to him?

530. What did I do to him? What did he do to me?

531. What did he do to my mother's china?

532. Charlotte, for God's sakes!

533. Don't "For God's sakes, Charlotte" me.

534. What did you do to him?

535. It was all your fault.

536. All right, Will, I'm going to count to 10.

537. If you're not out of there,

538. you're going to be in serious trouble.

539. 1, 2, 3...

540. What's the matter now, Raymer?

541. Broken taillight. This is the third time.

542. One more time, Sully,

543. and I'm impounding this heap of yours.

544. Jesus Christ.

545. Raymer, it's Thanksgiving.

546. If you'd fixed it the first time,

547. this wouldn't happen.

548. It's $15. You can mail it in,

549. or you can come by the station.

550. If it's not paid within 30 days,

551. you'll be held in contempt.

552. Boy, I hope you get laid sometime soon.

553. Someday, smart ass, I'm going to nail you

554. when you least expect it.

555. You O.K.?

556. Uh...

557. Will.

558. Yeah. Will.

559. Is he dead?

560. Who?

561. Wacker.

562. No, but he's pretty bent out of shape.

563. You'd better come and sit up front with me.

564. Up. There you go. Yah.

565. Hello.

566. Missing anybody?

567. Oh, thank God. Where are you?

568. Cozy Corner.

569. O.K., I'll be right there.

570. Thank you.

571. You and Wacker fight all the time?

572. Sometimes.

573. At least you got even. That's something.

574. When Mom and Dad get divorced...

575. Divorced?

576. When Mom and Dad get divorced,

577. I'm going to go and live with my dad,

578. and Wacker will go and live with mom,

579. and she'll find out how really bad Wacker is.

580. Yeah?

581. And when Mom and Dad get back together,

582. everything will be different.

583. We'll live in a house instead of an apartment,

584. and I'll have my own room,

585. and Wacker won't be able to play with my toys

586. unless I say so.

587. And Mom and Dad won't argue anymore

588. or fight about money or anything.

589. Hey, pal.

590. Hi, Dad.

591. Thanks for calling.

592. The situation at the house

593. has just gone ballistic.

594. What's with you and Charlotte?

595. Sometimes, I think you did the smart thing—

596. just running away.

597. I only got about five blocks.

598. Well, you might as well have gone to the moon.

599. You trying to get me to say I'm sorry?

600. No. I know better than that.

601. Come on, pal.

602. Let's go. Unh!

603. Tell me something.

604. Do you ever even think about me?

605. I guess sometimes.

606. Yeah.

607. Well, I thought about you all the time.

608. Hiya.

609. Hi. Come on in, Sully.

610. Come on, take a load off.

611. This is men's night at casa Roebuck.

612. We're drinking from the bottle.

613. Where's dummy?

614. Where's Ruby?

615. Why does he do it?

616. Well, he's not in love with her,

617. if that's what you mean.

618. Hey, I don't know the reason why

619. I do half the things that I do,

620. let alone your dimwit husband.

621. Well, did you ever get so mad

622. that you wanted to shoot somebody?

623. That's why I don't carry a gun.

624. Well, maybe we should go out

625. and buy a couple of .357 magnums and rob banks,

626. like Bonnie and Clyde— just you and me.

627. You'd have to be Clyde.

628. I'm too tired.

629. Oh!

630. You always cheer me up.

631. I think it's because you're the only person I know

632. who's worse off than me.

633. Nah. It's because deep down, secretly,

634. you're in love with me.

635. Really?

636. You betcha.

637. I guess we'll never know—

638. not at the rate we're going.

639. Well, if you're not in love with me,

640. I'm going home.

641. Oh, where did numbnuts hide the snow blower?

642. Over at the Tip Top.

643. Oh. I'll steal it back again tomorrow...

644. or the next day.

645. Watch out for that mean-ass dog.

646. I'm not worried about the dog.

647. I'm worried about

648. whether I can get over that fence

649. with one leg.

650. Oh, you're a man among men, Sully.

651. Well, thanks.

652. That wasn't a compliment.

653. I know you don't

654. like the idea,

655. but you should sell this place

656. and let me invest the money

657. in real estate out by the theme park.

658. There's big money headed this way—

659. serious money.

660. This could be the new Gold Coast.

661. You're right. I don't like the idea.

662. Besides, I can't sell this place.

663. I have a tenant.

664. That's another thing.

665. Sully has to go.

666. I was up there last night.

667. You should see that place for yourself.

668. Count the cigarette burns.

669. This house could go up in flames any minute.

670. Clive, you know Mr. Sullivan

671. does not like you snooping around.

672. I wasn't snooping around.

673. I was just looking after

674. my mother's interest,

675. which is more than

676. she'll do for herself.

677. I mean, keeping this house

678. is lunatic enough without having

679. a pyromaniac for a tenant.

680. Why is it that everyone in town

681. can see through him except you?

682. Oh, dear God in heaven!

683. Mr. Sullivan! Mr. Sullivan!

684. Mother, what is it? Mother, what is it?

685. What's the matter?

686. Mr. Sullivan, come quickly!

687. It's Miss Hattie.

688. Mother, I'll take care of it.

689. Thank heavens you're still here.

690. Hattie has escaped again.

691. Stay put. I'll get her.

692. Hurry! She's in the middle of the street.

693. Hurrying is not what I do best.

694. I'm looking for my muffler.

695. Is that the bank?

696. Tell him he's in trouble.

697. Hurry!

698. I am hurrying.

699. It just looks like slow-motion.

700. No driving on the sidewalk!

701. Hi, good-looking.

702. Are you running away from home?

703. Where you headed?

704. To my sister's in Albany.

705. Let me give you a lift.

706. I think we'll get there quicker.

707. O.K.

708. Listen, let's say you and me go dancing some night.

709. Dancing?

710. Yeah, just you and me.

711. Hey, Sully.

712. Hey, Jake.

713. How you doing, Sully?

714. Here you go, safe and sound.

715. Oh, God.

716. Oh, Ma, what gets into you?

717. Thanks, Sully.

718. Yeah.

719. Rufus, take care of things, O.K.,

720. while I look after Mom.

721. Well, Rufus, I guess it's just you and me.

722. Here. These go to Jocko. He takes ketchup.

723. I don't get time for a cup of coffee?

724. Sully?

725. Give these to Jocko in the second booth.

726. I want to talk to you.

727. Hey!

728. I could have—

729. He takes ketchup.

730. I could have handled that business.

731. I didn't need your interference.

732. How was your Thanksgiving, Clive?

733. Did you have a nice day? What did you do?

734. Nothing— nothing much.

735. I just had dinner with my mother.

736. Nothing much, huh?

737. I thought maybe you were someplace

738. you shouldn't have been.

739. We've been through this before.

740. A landlord has—

741. You are not my landlord.

742. My mother—

743. Is the only reason I don't kick your ass.

744. If you don't get out of here right now,

745. I may change my mind.

746. Hey, the ketchup stays here.

747. Judge Wapner's verdict is coming right up.

748. First of all, I'm certainly sorry that the bird died.

749. There's no question about that.

750. My sympathy is with you,

751. but we don't decide cases on the basis of sympathy.

752. Hey, Birdy, you got any aspirin?

753. Is it your knee?

754. Yeah. I thought it was getting better.

755. That accident caused the trauma to the knee.

756. That's arthritis.

757. Arthritis doesn't get better. It gets worse.

758. Here. Eat these. You'll feel better.

759. Thanks. I didn't know pharmacists

760. made house calls.

761. How much do I owe you?

762. Nada. They're samples.

763. Well, if you're really getting a guarantee,

764. then it should be in writing.

765. O.K., Shyster, who do you like?

766. The plaintiff.

767. It's a lock.

768. I'll take the defendant.

769. You weren't even here for the stories.

770. Yeah, but I know my lawyer.

771. Turn it up.

772. He'd either have to be foolhardy or stupid

773. to say, "I'm going to guarantee you a healthy bird."

774. The judgment is for the defendant.

775. You know, you're my only consistent

776. source of income.

777. I don't know why I even come in here.

778. To be among friends?

779. That must be it.

780. Boy, you people ought to

781. treat me better.

782. When I'm gone,

783. you'll discover how hard it is

784. to find a one-legged lawyer

785. who's always in a good mood.

786. Well...

787. Vaya con huevos, amigos.

788. "Go with eggs"?

789. Peter.

790. Oh, hi.

791. What's going on?

792. I don't know.

793. Where do you want to start?

794. My wife and I had

795. a major shoot-out last night.

796. She left and took Wacker with her.

797. Where's Will?

798. He's staying with me.

799. Anyway, I ought to be going.

800. Hey, you busy right now?

801. Me?

802. Uh, well, fact of the matter is,

803. Mom has a headache,

804. and I promised her I'd get her some aspirin.

805. Just the guy I'm looking for. Come on.

806. Yeah, but—

807. Come on. I haven't got all night.

808. You want some buns?

809. Dogs don't eat buns.

810. You're buying ground beef for your dog?

811. I don't have a dog.

812. She didn't seem to care about that too much.

813. Anyway, you know,

814. she's been threatening to leave for months.

815. The thing is, I never should have made her

816. come up for Thanksgiving

817. because Mom is the one person in this world

818. she dislikes more than me.

819. Jesus Christ!

820. No, it's O.K.

821. Here, hold this.

822. What's that?

823. 1...

824. What's going on?

825. 2. Think that's enough?

826. What are you doing, Dad?

827. I think you're right.

828. I think we need one more.

829. Dad!

830. Oh, yeah. Hey, Bowser, look at that.

831. Come on.

832. Room service.

833. Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on. There.

834. Oh, God. I don't believe this.

835. I'm a member of Greenpeace,

836. and I just helped poison a dog.

837. Well, for one thing, it ain't poison.

838. For another, you didn't help much.

839. That part comes later.

840. You had any supper? No.

841. Well, come on.

842. I'll buy you a hamburger.

843. Hey, if it's not too much trouble,

844. would you mind telling me what the hell is going on?

845. Uh, later, maybe.

846. I'm not sure this is a good idea.

847. Don't worry about it.

848. Oh, I don't know.

849. He could be waiting to pounce.

850. No. He's all pounced out.

851. Well, maybe it's a trick.

852. He ain't the smartest dog

853. in the world, you know.

854. Yeah. Just the meanest.

855. Watch.

856. See?

857. Looks like a good place. Come on.

858. Tell me again—

859. this is your own snow blower we're stealing.

860. I knew your mother

861. was going to raise you like this. Get going.

862. But what if somebody comes by?

863. Hey, hey, hey, climb, will ya?

864. I'm not getting any younger.

865. All right.

866. Ah!

867. Ow!

868. Don't get stuck.

869. "Don't get stuck"? That's it?

870. My father walks out on his family when I'm a year old,

871. and all my life, I've been waiting for him to show up

872. and act like a father.

873. So here I am, finally with my dad,

874. together at last.

875. Quality time, right?

876. And what are we doing? Breaking and entering.

877. And what are his words of wisdom?

878. "Don't get stuck."

879. Are you O.K.?

880. Yeah.

881. All right. Here. Watch it.

882. Try not to cut your arm off.

883. Dad?

884. Don't move.

885. You were right.

886. The third pill was the winner.

887. Wow. I mean, wow. That was—

888. you know, when I saw that dog, I thought...

889. I've never done anything like that before.

890. You know what Mom's worst fear is?

891. That your life has been fun.

892. Tell her not to worry.

893. I want to show you something.

894. Hey, we're not going to

895. break into this place too, are we?

896. No. I got the key to this one...

897. or I used to.

898. You own this place?

899. The city probably owns

900. most of it now—back taxes.

901. I grew up here.

902. It was my father's house.

903. As far as I'm concerned,

904. it can rot.

905. He was some piece of work—

906. your grandfather.

907. That good, huh?

908. Yeah, he was good when he was sober,

909. but, then, I don't think

910. anybody ever saw him sober.

911. Your grandmother took the worst of it.

912. She was just a tiny little woman,

913. and, my God, he could make her fly.

914. One minute, she'd be standing over there,

915. and the next minute, she'd be...

916. on the opposite side of the room,

917. just sitting on the floor.

918. I made the mistake once

919. of trying to get in between them.

920. I don't know.

921. I was 12 or something,

922. and he didn't much care for that. He...

923. I thought he was going to kill me.

924. Jesus Christ.

925. Well, anyway, fuck him eternally.

926. I suppose you're going to be saying

927. the same thing about me when I'm gone.

928. You were gone, Dad, and I already said it.

929. Well, you sure did get over that fence

930. pretty good for a college professor.

931. Yeah, well,

932. I'm not a college professor anymore.

933. I was just, uh... I got fired.

934. It was no big deal.

935. University cut back the English Department.

936. Trouble is, it's just hard as hell

937. getting a job teaching these days, you know?

938. I've been looking,

939. and schools aren't hiring right now.

940. Anyway, I didn't mean to go on about it.

941. I'll figure something out.

942. I don't suppose you'd be interested

943. in coming to work for me.

944. Oh, yeah, that would be dumb.

945. I couldn't pay you very much.

946. Minimum wage?

947. Well, I could do better than that.

948. That's fine. Sure, yeah. That's fine.

949. Are you sure you know how to do

950. this kind of work?

951. How do you think I put myself through college?

952. Peter?

953. Hi, Pop.

954. Is that your dad with you?

955. Hey, Ralph.

956. What's that?

957. That's a brand-new snow blower.

958. Thought you might be able to use it.

959. I don't know, Sully.

960. I can't afford something like that.

961. I don't see why not.

962. It didn't cost me anything.

963. Yeah, that's true.

964. Just as long as I can come back

965. and borrow it

966. every once in a while,

967. especially if it keeps on like this.

968. No problem.

969. Yeah, Pop, I think the best thing would be

970. to keep it in the garage.

971. Under a tarp.

972. Right.

973. Sure thing.

974. This is really awfully good of you, Sully.

975. Don't mention it.

976. I'll leave the door open for you, Peter.

977. Thanks, Pop.

978. Oh, damn, I forgot the aspirin for Mom.

979. Well... let's give her one of these.

980. Oh, I don't know.

981. Don't worry.

982. She'll thank you for it. Ha ha!

983. Well, listen, tonight was pretty, uh...

984. Yeah.

985. Can I borrow a dollar?

986. Nope. You can borrow a jelly doughnut, though.

987. You can't borrow a jelly doughnut.

988. Once you eat it, it's gone.

989. Once you borrow a dollar, it's gone.

990. I'd rather buy you a jelly doughnut.

991. Good morning, Dad.

992. Hey, Rub, how you doing?

993. Good morning, Cass.

994. Hey, you wouldn't have

995. another one of those for Will, would you?

996. Sorry, Peter. That's the last one.

997. You don't mind, do you, Sancho?

998. Hey, do you see—

999. It's O.K. Are you bringing the kid

1000. to work today?

1001. Yeah. Mom had to take Ralph to the doctor.

1002. Don't worry. He won't be any trouble.

1003. That's not the point. What if he gets hurt?

1004. How?

1005. He could fall in a ditch.

1006. He could run into a nail. I don't know.

1007. Ha ha ha!

1008. What's so funny?

1009. Nothing.

1010. You mean I worry about him, and I never worried about you?

1011. Well, you skipped a generation,

1012. didn't you?

1013. O.K.

1014. Why don't you guys get going?

1015. I've got some stuff to do in town.

1016. I'll take Will with me.

1017. Is that O.K. with you?

1018. You'll stay with your granddad?

1019. All right. Great.

1020. Come on, Sancho. Let's go to work.

1021. How come I got to go to work with him?

1022. Because I say so.

1023. Well, why are you so nice to him?

1024. He doesn't even like you.

1025. I know...

1026. but I'm growing on him.

1027. Come on, hot shot.

1028. You want to drive?

1029. Come on over. Come on, scoot over.

1030. There you go.

1031. Just be careful of my bum leg, O.K.?

1032. Ahh.

1033. There you go.

1034. Put your hands on the wheel right up here.

1035. There you go. Got it? Huh?

1036. Yeah.

1037. All right.

1038. See how it goes there?

1039. O.K., you're on your own, kid.

1040. Oh, hey, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1041. Whoa, whoa, back. There you go.

1042. There you go.

1043. It's jiggling.

1044. No, it's not jiggling. It's wobbling.

1045. That's what old trucks do. They wobble.

1046. I like it. It's a nice truck.

1047. Yeah, it is.

1048. It is kind of a nice truck, isn't it?

1049. An invoice? From how long ago?

1050. No, there's no sign of it, Leanne.

1051. Uh-uh. Sorry.

1052. I'll keep looking, but no promises, O.K.?

1053. O.K., bye.

1054. So, what's going on? Where's Ruby?

1055. Alas, Ruby is no more.

1056. She left behind a few tokens of her affection.

1057. You want a souvenir?

1058. No, I don't think so.

1059. So where's dummy?

1060. He's out at the annex.

1061. He says that he's turned over a new leaf.

1062. He says that he's a changed man.

1063. No kidding.

1064. Who's this?

1065. Hmm? That's Will. He's, um...

1066. Huh?

1067. Well, he's my, um...

1068. he's just kind of shy,

1069. you know, so I don't...

1070. annex, huh?

1071. Yeah.

1072. You know, when Ruby was here,

1073. she used to wear

1074. a see-through blouse,

1075. so if you just want to

1076. keep up with her—

1077. O.K.

1078. What's the matter, Grandpa?

1079. "What's the matter, Grandpa?"

1080. I'll see ya.

1081. Say hello to Will here.

1082. Hey, Will.

1083. The only thing I have is from 1992,

1084. and it says right on this, "Not an invoice,"

1085. and I'm not going to pay it, all right?

1086. Well, you get it figured out and get back to me, all right?

1087. Hey, Don Sullivan—

1088. thief of snow blowers, poisoner of dogs—

1089. secret father and grandfather.

1090. How they hanging?

1091. By a thread, as usual.

1092. Want to sit over here?

1093. Just don't mess things up.

1094. Your grandpa tell you

1095. how he steals people's snow blowers?

1096. You got to feel sorry

1097. for a guy like that. You know,

1098. he can't keep track of his toys.

1099. That's funny how that dog hates you.

1100. Ha ha ha! That's pitiful, isn't it?

1101. A perfectly good doberman— mean as hell—ruined.

1102. You seem full of piss

1103. and vinegar today.

1104. Ah. I was talking to Toby.

1105. She said you were turning over a new leaf.

1106. You spoke to Toby?

1107. Yeah.

1108. I didn't have the heart to remind her

1109. who she was talking about.

1110. You—you talked to my wife?

1111. Well, forget about it.

1112. She's probably just

1113. telling people she likes.

1114. Don't tell me she's pregnant.

1115. Knocked up like a cheerleader.

1116. Yeah, I suppose now

1117. you're going to want to be godfather.

1118. Hey, I can't be the father and the godfather.

1119. You've got to goddamn do something.

1120. Great white hunter make baby.

1121. Ha.

1122. Well, big guy, down to some business here.

1123. I understand you've got this Victorian

1124. that you're going to remodel.

1125. It'd give us six months work, most of it indoors.

1126. Forget about it.

1127. I got my son to worry about now.

1128. Don't even waste your breath, Sully.

1129. A Victorian house is a big job.

1130. I need guys with two good knees

1131. and at least a half a brain between them.

1132. A guy with half a brain wouldn't work for you.

1133. Drop it. I should have known better

1134. than to bring it up to someone like you.

1135. Come on, hot shot.

1136. That rattrap of yours

1137. still standing over on bowdin?

1138. Why?

1139. Come on. Let's go take a look at it.

1140. I got an idea I want to talk to you about.

1141. It breaks your heart, doesn't it?

1142. You know who he reminds me of? You.

1143. Yeah, he is pretty well hung, at that.

1144. Stay down here for a second,

1145. will you, Will?

1146. Watch your step, Grandpa.

1147. Hey, hey, Sully.

1148. Hey, Sully, wait a minute.

1149. Let's just break one of the windowpanes

1150. and reach inside and unlock the door.

1151. I know what I'm doing, O.K.?

1152. Don't say a word.

1153. Excuse me.

1154. Ha ha ha!

1155. I don't know.

1156. I don't know.

1157. I may owe Rub an apology.

1158. He made not be the dumbest man in Bath.

1159. Ha.

1160. Goddamn, Sully, you could have saved this place,

1161. could have fixed it up a little bit,

1162. rented it out.

1163. Hell, you could have sold it,

1164. put the money in your own pocket.

1165. Instead, you just let it rot.

1166. Just so you could stick it

1167. to your old man, huh?

1168. Has he been dead 30, 35 years?

1169. He still keeping score?

1170. Well, here's the good news.

1171. You won.

1172. This could be your crowning achievement, Sully.

1173. All right, I'll make you a deal.

1174. You sell me this flooring here

1175. at a reasonable price,

1176. and I'll let you and the other two stooges

1177. work on the Victorian house.

1178. Sully...

1179. you O.K.?

1180. Take it.

1181. What?

1182. Take it. Just...

1183. pull out whatever you want.

1184. Give the money to Peter, O.K.?

1185. Hey, where's that little kid?

1186. Will!

1187. You didn't think I forgot you, did you?

1188. Huh?

1189. Really, I didn't mean to.

1190. You want to go inside

1191. and see where I grew up?

1192. You'd like it.

1193. O.K., you decide.

1194. You can come inside with me,

1195. or you can go back and see your dad.

1196. O.K.

1197. O.K. which?

1198. Go see Dad.

1199. Sure. O.K. Let's go.

1200. There you go.

1201. Dad's right over there, O.K.?

1202. Hey.

1203. It's O.K.

1204. You forgot him?

1205. It couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes.

1206. Yeah, well, it probably seemed

1207. like longer to him.

1208. Probably seemed like forever to him.

1209. You know, you...

1210. God, I should have known.

1211. You're never going to change,

1212. are you?

1213. I'd like to talk to Will.

1214. I'd like to talk to my grandson.

1215. Hey, hot shot.

1216. Kind of messed up today, didn't I?

1217. I mean, you were pretty scared,

1218. weren't you?

1219. You know what I used to do

1220. when I was your age and I got scared?

1221. I'd try to be brave for exactly a minute,

1222. and the next time,

1223. I'd try to be brave for two minutes.

1224. What were you scared of?

1225. I don't remember,

1226. but, hey, when you get to be my age,

1227. you won't remember either.

1228. Here.

1229. You can time yourself with it.

1230. The big hand will go around once.

1231. That will be a minute.

1232. Goes around again,

1233. that will be two minutes.

1234. And you can tell

1235. how long you've been brave.

1236. Here.

1237. Thank you.

1238. Welcome.

1239. Can I ask you a question?

1240. Why did you do it— walk out on us?

1241. Ah...

1242. how the hell do I know?

1243. It was, um...

1244. a mistake.

1245. Me and your mother was just a mistake.

1246. What would you like me to say?

1247. I was a rotten father?

1248. Well, I wasn't around enough for that, remember?

1249. Not around. Not ever.

1250. Satisfied?

1251. Well, if you're not a father to me,

1252. how come you're

1253. a grandfather to Will?

1254. 'Cause you got to start someplace.

1255. Still alive in there, old girl?

1256. Didn't die in your sleep—

1257. Well, what happened? What did he say?

1258. If I tell you, will you promise

1259. not to tell my son about it?

1260. No. I can't do that.

1261. Well, then I won't tell you.

1262. Let's go.

1263. I can do it.

1264. All right, I won't tell him.

1265. Now, what happened?

1266. It was a stroke.

1267. A what?

1268. A stroke— just a tiny one.

1269. It's not uncommon in people of my age,

1270. but he gave me medication,

1271. and he said if I'm careful,

1272. there's no reason

1273. I shouldn't live for a long time.

1274. I'm calling Clive Jr. right now.

1275. No! Donald, you promised.

1276. He's your son. He's got a right.

1277. Donald...

1278. if you tell Clive about this,

1279. he'll put me in a rest home,

1280. and there will be nothing I can do about it.

1281. You know I'm right about that.

1282. And if he did...

1283. I don't think I could bear it.

1284. O.K., but you're going to...

1285. need someone

1286. who can really look after you.

1287. I have someone who looks after me.

1288. No. Oh, no. I don't think so.

1289. I don't think that's a good idea.

1290. Do you still bet on that horse race of yours?

1291. What, the Trifecta?

1292. Yes. Has it ever come in?

1293. Not yet.

1294. But you still bet on it.

1295. Well, sure. I mean,

1296. the odds have got to kick in eventually.

1297. Fine. That's exactly the way I feel about you.

1298. Now will you please drive me home?

1299. Thank you, Donald.

1300. Wish you hadn't told me

1301. those are rats down there.

1302. Know what else I wish?

1303. What?

1304. I wish some big old company

1305. would move to town,

1306. pay us a lot of money.

1307. We could work indoors— no more Carl Roebuck.

1308. Know what I really wish?

1309. I really wish Peter would quit

1310. calling me Sancho.

1311. I hate that name.

1312. Fact is, I wish

1313. Peter would just flat go away.

1314. What?

1315. I said I wish Peter would

1316. go on back to his own home.

1317. I liked it better

1318. when it was just the two of us.

1319. I hate the way you talk to him all the time.

1320. You know, used to be you and me

1321. would go places together.

1322. Now he's always there.

1323. He's my son.

1324. Shh! Here he comes.

1325. Hey, Sancho.

1326. See what I mean?

1327. Any luck?

1328. I think I found a place.

1329. What place?

1330. Two-bedroom apartment for me and Will.

1331. It's in a nice neighborhood.

1332. The rent's not too bad.

1333. You mean you're going to stay?

1334. Yeah.

1335. Pretty much made up my mind.

1336. He's going to stay here—

1337. work with us from now on?

1338. Looks like it.

1339. Well, what if there's not enough work

1340. for the three of us?

1341. Why don't you let me worry about that?

1342. Well, I don't like it.

1343. You don't have to like it.

1344. Hey, Sully, could I have a beer?

1345. What are you asking me for?

1346. 'Cause you're the boss.

1347. Ask him. He bought the beer.

1348. Here you go, Sancho.

1349. Hey, where are you going?

1350. I quit.

1351. Rub!

1352. Shit! Oh!

1353. Come on back here.

1354. Dad, Dad,

1355. you're driving on the sidewalk.

1356. Relax.

1357. Look at that.

1358. Ever seen anybody that stubborn?

1359. Yes, I have.

1360. Can't figure it out.

1361. All he's got to do is duck behind something,

1362. and we're screwed.

1363. Oh, I'd have to say we're screwed anyhow.

1364. Sully, you're on the sidewalk!

1365. Up yours, Raymer.

1366. That's not a good place

1367. to park, Raymer.

1368. Enough!

1369. Get out of the truck now, Sully.

1370. Fun's over.

1371. I'm going to have to put you under arrest.

1372. This is where a smart guy

1373. would get out of the truck.

1374. Come on, Dad.

1375. Halt!

1376. Jesus, Dad!

1377. He'll never use it.

1378. Did he shoot?

1379. I believe that was a gunshot, yes.

1380. I vote we surrender, if I have a vote.

1381. You stupid prick.

1382. Ah!

1383. Well?

1384. Nothing.

1385. Good.

1386. For a moment there, I thought

1387. you were going to be critical.

1388. Haven't I been warning you

1389. about something like this?

1390. Haven't I? The man's a lunatic.

1391. I'm sure there's an explanation.

1392. What explanation can there be

1393. for attacking a policeman?

1394. I suppose I should be grateful

1395. he didn't go berserk right here in this house.

1396. I want Donald Sullivan out of here,

1397. and I want him out of here now.

1398. And if you won't do it,

1399. I will.

1400. Hmm.

1401. I hate to say it, but for once in his life,

1402. the bank is right.

1403. I screwed up.

1404. Um...

1405. looks like I will be spending

1406. a little vacation at the county expense,

1407. so you better get yourself another tenant.

1408. I don't want another tenant.

1409. I've enjoyed your company.

1410. Face it, Beryl,

1411. I'm the wrong man for the job.

1412. Maybe it will teach us both

1413. not to bet on long shots.

1414. what do you think?

1415. Sure doesn't feel like Christmas.

1416. Get Rub to help you with the floors.

1417. Don't forget.

1418. O.K.

1419. You can always get him

1420. down at the diner, you know.

1421. Right.

1422. You know how to use a circular saw?

1423. Better than you.

1424. I doubt it.

1425. How long do you figure

1426. it will take you to finish?

1427. A couple of days.

1428. Ah, get Rub—

1429. Get Rub to help.

1430. Did I give you the keys to the Ford?

1431. About an hour and a half ago.

1432. Well, if you get any trouble with it,

1433. take it down to the Texaco station.

1434. There's a guy down there

1435. by the name of Harold.

1436. Just tell him you're my son.

1437. Right. You run into problems,

1438. drop your old man's name.

1439. Watch the doors fly open.

1440. Can't believe it's going to

1441. take you that long to get me out of jail.

1442. Don't blame me. I'm a Jew.

1443. These aren't my holidays.

1444. A Jew? Really?

1445. I didn't know that.

1446. How come you ain't smart?

1447. How can I start getting you out of jail

1448. when you won't go in?

1449. Got a point.

1450. The condemned man gets a last wish, right?

1451. I got my truck out back.

1452. How about you and me go out there

1453. and get ourselves naked and see what happens?

1454. O.K.

1455. Haven't you got any pride?

1456. Go to jail, Sully. It's where you belong.

1457. Look, your kid's asleep.

1458. I haven't seen him like that

1459. since he was 6 months old.

1460. Touching, isn't it?

1461. Breaks your heart.

1462. Wake up.

1463. Oh, God.

1464. Let's get out of here.

1465. Get the check, will you?

1466. You O.K.?

1467. Yeah.

1468. Wirf will have you out of there

1469. in a couple of days.

1470. Ralph's been a good father to you, you know?

1471. Yes, he has.

1472. You turned out all right.

1473. So did you.

1474. Want to hear something funny?

1475. I never told anybody this before.

1476. After I got out of the Army,

1477. I went to college for about six months.

1478. I really liked it.

1479. Why did you quit?

1480. Said I liked it.

1481. I didn't say I belonged there.

1482. Well, where do you belong, Dad?

1483. Right there...

1484. for tonight anyway.

1485. Want me to go in there with you?

1486. Nope.

1487. Good.

1488. Well, I'll be out before you know it.

1489. Hey!

1490. Look after Wirf, will you—

1491. and Miss Beryl?

1492. Right.

1493. Oh!

1494. Take care of Rub's jelly doughnuts.

1495. It's not going to be easy being you, is it?

1496. Don't expect too much of yourself

1497. at the beginning.

1498. I couldn't do everything

1499. at first either.

1500. But you gave me your word.

1501. People here are counting on you.

1502. I'm counting on you.

1503. Mr. Peoples,

1504. did we sign any papers?

1505. Now listen.

1506. This is nothing personal.

1507. I know how much you good people

1508. wanted this thing to happen,

1509. but it's flat out not going to work.

1510. Why?

1511. Well, the fact is,

1512. we crunched the numbers,

1513. and they didn't add up.

1514. But you don't understand.

1515. These people bought 1,000 acres

1516. of depressed real estate

1517. because of you.

1518. Oh, you got that wrong, Clive.

1519. Those people bought that land

1520. because of you.

1521. You promised that this was a sure thing.

1522. Well, we were a teeny bit wrong

1523. about that, wasn't we?

1524. It's been good talking to you.

1525. Nighty-night.

1526. Merry Christmas, Mr. Peoples.

1527. Merry Christmas.

1528. Thanks, Ollie.

1529. God, I love small towns.

1530. Where else in the world

1531. would they let a guy out of jail

1532. for three hours just to serve as a pallbearer?

1533. Yep. Been arraigned yet?

1534. No. This afternoon.

1535. How are you going to plead?

1536. Temporary insanity.

1537. I'm going to say that those pills you gave me

1538. made me absolutely nuts.

1539. All right, girls. We're on.

1540. All right. Here we go—

1541. 1, 2, 3.

1542. Well, you must be feeling great.

1543. Why should I be feeling great?

1544. I'm in jail. Truck's falling apart.

1545. I haven't got 40 bucks to my name.

1546. Yeah, but the Trifecta

1547. you've been betting for 10 years

1548. finally hit.

1549. Hey, be careful.

1550. My Trifecta?

1551. Yeah.

1552. You mean the one I've been betting every day?

1553. It hit two days ago.

1554. Well, I was in jail. I didn't bet it.

1555. You wouldn't hit a guy

1556. with glasses, would you?

1557. Now do you believe in luck?

1558. Luck had nothing to do with you being in jail.

1559. Did you hear about Clive Jr.?

1560. No. What?

1561. He skipped town.

1562. Hey! Whoa!

1563. Mr. Sullivan, have a little respect.

1564. What?

1565. The money for the theme park folded.

1566. The bank's stuck with all that worthless land,

1567. so he disappeared.

1568. Well, what about Miss Beryl?

1569. Not great.

1570. Boy, guy goes to jail for a couple of days,

1571. the whole town goes to hell.

1572. Sully?

1573. Yeah, Ralph?

1574. Listen, remember that snow blower

1575. you gave me?

1576. Yeah.

1577. Well, somebody stole it last night

1578. right out of the garage.

1579. I—I covered it with a tarp

1580. just the way you told me.

1581. Don't worry about it.

1582. I know exactly where to find it.

1583. Ha ha ha!

1584. Never in a million years.

1585. Well, here we are again, Mr. Sullivan.

1586. How's your knee?

1587. Rotten...

1588. your Honor.

1589. Well, it doesn't seem to slow you down much.

1590. Doesn't keep you

1591. from punching out policemen or anything.

1592. Mr. Wirfleet, don't.

1593. There are times when less is more,

1594. and this is one of them.

1595. Now then,

1596. how are you doing, Wyatt Earp?

1597. Same advice— less is more.

1598. Tell me, what do you usually do

1599. when somebody throws a punch at you?

1600. Duck?

1601. Next time, do that.

1602. Now, is it true that you discharged your weapon, officer?

1603. Your Honor,

1604. it was a warning shot.

1605. You know who you warned?

1606. A little old lady sitting on her commode

1607. two blocks away.

1608. Ollie...

1609. you know my feelings about arming morons.

1610. You arm one, you've got to arm them all.

1611. Otherwise it wouldn't be good sport.

1612. Your Honor, Officer Raymer

1613. is currently under suspension.

1614. Anesthesia is what he should be under.

1615. Your Honor,

1616. I'd just like to say...

1617. and what's this country coming to—

1618. Raymer, shut the fuck up.

1619. Boy, I wouldn't sit here too long.

1620. Tip of your dick will freeze

1621. to the top of the step.

1622. Oh, I forgot. Yours ain't that long.

1623. Yours ain't either.

1624. That's because I fold it.

1625. Want to know how many times I fold it?

1626. It would hurt if you folded it.

1627. Not mine.

1628. You know what I wish?

1629. No. What do you wish?

1630. I wish we were still friends.

1631. We are, Rub.

1632. You know what I wish?

1633. I wish we'd get off our asses.

1634. Let's go down to the horse and play some poker.

1635. What do you think?

1636. What—what about...

1637. Peter?

1638. Hey. Look at me.

1639. Peter's my son.

1640. You're my best friend, O.K.?

1641. Ah.

1642. You're not going to start crying, are you?

1643. I should have stayed in jail.

1644. I could bet 40.

1645. Oh, boy.

1646. I'm in. I don't want to be in,

1647. but I'm in.

1648. O.K., sucker.

1649. I'll see you,

1650. and...

1651. I'll raise you.

1652. Hmm. He's bluffing.

1653. Goddamn it, Birdy, close the door.

1654. I'm naked.

1655. Then you should play better poker.

1656. Jocko.

1657. He's in.

1658. Ah, thank you, Birdy.

1659. Don't show him

1660. your cards, Rub.

1661. I call.

1662. Ace high flush.

1663. Read 'em and weep, guys.

1664. Queens full.

1665. Damn. Why shouldn't this be the night

1666. I lose every goddamn hand in the game?

1667. Theme park goes down the tubes,

1668. I'm stuck with 14 crappy, half-built houses

1669. I'll never be able to unload,

1670. and for some reason, Toby's taken exception

1671. with my new secretary.

1672. Whose gun is that?

1673. It's yours, bonehead. It's your ante.

1674. Hell, I should have busted this game

1675. two hours ago.

1676. The game is seven-card stud.

1677. One-eyed jacks and suicide kings—

1678. Can we play a normal game of poker?

1679. How come she's staring at me?

1680. Because you're a good-looking

1681. guy, Rub.

1682. Am not.

1683. Sure you are.

1684. Carl, is he a good-looking guy?

1685. He is at that.

1686. Sully, drop by the Bowdin Street house.

1687. Something wrong?

1688. Nothing's wrong. I left you something.

1689. Spirit of the season, so to speak.

1690. Jocko.

1691. You got any of those yellow doozies?

1692. Why? Is your leg worse?

1693. No. They're for Carl.

1694. Oh, my God.

1695. Here. Two tickets. Hawaii. You and me.

1696. Toby, there's a perfectly logical

1697. explanation for this.

1698. There is?

1699. Well?

1700. Hawaii.

1701. No bullshit?

1702. No bullshit.

1703. Goddamn, Sully.

1704. When your luck turns...

1705. it turns.

1706. Luck has nothing to do with this.

1707. I'll have to get a new bathing suit.

1708. You won't need anything.

1709. I have enough coconut oil

1710. for both of us.

1711. I do you, and you do me?

1712. Yeah, that's the general idea.

1713. For God's sakes, Toby,

1714. you're pregnant!

1715. You can be godfather.

1716. Shut up, Sully!

1717. Sunny skies.

1718. Sandy beaches.

1719. No more snow.

1720. No more broken-down pickup truck.

1721. Oh, yeah.

1722. Damn, Carl. You going to let him do that?

1723. Don't worry about it, Ollie.

1724. He'll never go through with it.

1725. You want to bet?

1726. Cash me in, guys.

1727. I'll bet you make it

1728. about as far as the plane

1729. out of spite.

1730. But then, you know

1731. what's going to happen?

1732. Somewhere over Kansas,

1733. Toby's going to start crying.

1734. As your ex-wife can tell you,

1735. you don't handle that shit very well.

1736. Rub?

1737. In about a minute, that son of a bitch

1738. will realize he's made

1739. the biggest mistake of his life.

1740. If he tries to follow us,

1741. shoot him.

1742. Sully.

1743. You got something to say?

1744. No.

1745. Good-bye.

1746. Toby.

1747. No, don't.

1748. Please don't.

1749. I want to thank you for thinking of me.

1750. Yeah.

1751. I, uh...

1752. you know, until a while ago, I could have...

1753. I could have.

1754. But...

1755. I just found out

1756. I'm somebody's grandfather.

1757. I'm somebody's father, and—

1758. and maybe I'm somebody's friend in the bargain.

1759. So...

1760. Yeah.

1761. You are a man among men.

1762. I know. It's not a compliment.

1763. No, this time it is.

1764. How come you're always wrong about everything?

1765. You are...

1766. the best-looking woman in Bath,

1767. and you're going to be

1768. the best-looking woman in Hawaii.

1769. You're going to be fine.

1770. Thanks.

1771. We would have been terrific together.

1772. Yeah. I think so.

1773. Don't tell me they let you out of jail.

1774. What are you guys doing here?

1775. I took Will to the apartment to see his room.

1776. He liked it.

1777. We were going to Mom's. I saw your truck outside.

1778. Happy New Year.

1779. It's a day or two early, but, hey, I got faith.

1780. Thank you.

1781. To the good life.

1782. You call this the good life?

1783. It sure looks like it from where I stand.

1784. It occurs to me I forgot your Christmas present.

1785. Call your wife.

1786. Telephone's right there.

1787. You don't understand.

1788. Do it!

1789. Hi. It's me.

1790. Yeah.

1791. I know.

1792. Hey, don't cry.

1793. Dad, I can handle this part myself.

1794. You'd keep my leg, wouldn't you?

1795. You don't need a leg. You need a parrot.

1796. Should we give him back his leg?

1797. You want to take it to him?

1798. It's not alive.

1799. It ain't going to bite you.

1800. You still got that stopwatch?

1801. Want to see if it works?

1802. Come on. You think.

1803. Thank you.

1804. Will? Your mom wants to talk to you.

1805. Mom?

1806. Dick.

1807. You know, I think

1808. I'm getting too old for this job.

1809. How come?

1810. You're starting to look good to me.

1811. I do that.

1812. I grow on people.

1813. Encore, s'il vous plait.

1814. Listen, I need a favor.

1815. I'm serious about this.

1816. It's your landlady.

1817. She's done something for you.

1818. What?

1819. You own the house on Bowdin again.

1820. She paid the back taxes.

1821. And you let her?

1822. I encouraged her.

1823. She paid. She owns it.

1824. I don't want anything to do with that place.

1825. This isn't about what you want.

1826. I don't give a damn what you want.

1827. This is about need.

1828. Clive Jr.'s gone. He's not coming back.

1829. Now, this is the favor.

1830. When she tells you,

1831. be grateful.

1832. Make her feel good.

1833. Is that too much to ask?

1834. Sully, either you do this,

1835. or I'm off of you for life.

1836. I mean it.

1837. Dad?

1838. Dad.

1839. Yeah?

1840. Could you and Rub spare me

1841. for a couple days?

1842. Rub sure could.

1843. How about you?

1844. O.K.

1845. Uh, could be more than a couple of days.

1846. Any problems, think what I would do, and...

1847. Do the opposite.

1848. I'll remember that.

1849. Oh! Almost forgot.

1850. What's that?

1851. Here. What do you think of this?

1852. It's a Trifecta ticket.

1853. The Trifecta ticket.

1854. The one that hit.

1855. How much?

1856. 5,800 bucks.

1857. And you bet it?

1858. You told me to. Remember?

1859. Right before you went to jail.

1860. Oh, wow.

1861. How about that?

1862. Intelligence, hard work,

1863. and good looks finally pay off.

1864. To think we were here to see it.

1865. Wow.

1866. Hey!

1867. Try anything, and you'll regret it.

1868. Oh, no. Not a chance.

1869. Oh!

1870. Who are you?

1871. I fixed the railing on the porch.

1872. Can I come in and pull my boots off?

1873. Of course, Donald.

1874. Looks like you're the only one in town

1875. who'll have me.

1876. I hope you didn't rent my room out

1877. from underneath me.

1878. Not yet.

1879. By the way, what's your policy on pets?

1880. I'm not sure.

1881. Well, we'll come up with something.

1882. I'm going to have a cup of tea.

1883. Would you like one?

1884. No. Not now, not ever.

1885. I'm sorry about Clive Jr.

1886. Thank you, Donald.

1887. I keep thinking I failed him in some way.

1888. At least you raised him.

1889. That's more than I can say.

1890. There's a rumor around town

1891. that you did a good deed.

1892. You stuck your nose

1893. where it didn't belong.

1894. I know it.

1895. I'm an old woman, though. I'm entitled.

1896. Well, you're forgiven.

1897. Thank you.

1898. Are you sure

1899. I can't interest you in a cup of tea?

1900. No. How many times do I have to tell you?

1901. Other people change their minds

1902. occasionally.

1903. I keep thinking you might.

1904. You do?

1905. Hmm.

1906. You may as well come in too.