1. That was beautiful—Copy !req
2. Take it, Russ.Copy !req
3. Dad, can you explain again
what we're doing?Copy !req
4. Sure, Russ. We're kicking off our fun,
old-fashioned family Christmas...Copy !req
5. by heading out into the country
in the old front-wheel drive sleigh...Copy !req
6. to embrace the frosty majesty
of the winter landscape...Copy !req
7. and select that most important
of Christmas symbols.Copy !req
8. We're not driving all the way out here so
you can get one of those stupid ties...Copy !req
9. with the Santa Clauses on it, are we?
No, I have one of those at home.Copy !req
10. What we're looking for today is the
Griswold family Christmas tree.Copy !req
11. What's the matter?
Some jackass is riding my tail.Copy !req
12. Slow down and let him pass.Copy !req
13. Clark! Don't provoke them.Copy !req
14. Hey, kids, look a deer.Copy !req
15. Clark, slow down!Copy !req
16. You wanna ride behind somebody
who does that?Copy !req
17. I'll pull around them
and leave them behind us.Copy !req
18. Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.Copy !req
19. Dad, I think what you mean is,
"Burn rubber," and, "Eat my dust."Copy !req
20. Whatever, Russ. Whatever.Copy !req
21. Eat my road grit, liver lips!Copy !req
22. Okay. That's enough of that.Copy !req
23. Speaking of Christmas trees, kids,
can one of you tell me...Copy !req
24. what the first tree displayed
at the White House was?Copy !req
25. Dad, they're back.Copy !req
26. Clark, stop it! I don't want
to spend the holidays dead.Copy !req
27. Honey, please!
I'll do the driving, okay?Copy !req
28. Will you just take it easy, Ellen?
I'm in complete control.Copy !req
29. I'll get around this egg timer.Copy !req
30. Dad. Dad.Copy !req
31. We're all right!
Thank God, we're all right!Copy !req
32. Clark, we're stuck
under a truck!Copy !req
33. Do you honestly think I don't know that?
Come on, you guys, don't fight.Copy !req
34. For chrissake,
I didn't do this on purpose!Copy !req
35. Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.Copy !req
36. And forgive my husband.
He knows not what he does.Copy !req
37. Amen!Copy !req
38. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
39. Made pretty good time.Copy !req
40. Dad, didn't they invent Christmas tree
lots so people wouldn't have to drive...Copy !req
41. all the way out to nowhere
and waste a whole Saturday?Copy !req
42. They invented them because people forgot
how to have an old-fashioned Christmas...Copy !req
43. and are satisfied with scrawny,
overpriced trees...Copy !req
44. that have no special meaning.
My toes are numb.Copy !req
45. Kids, this is what our forefathers did.
I can't feel my leg.Copy !req
46. They walked out into the woods, picked out
the tree and cut it with their hands.Copy !req
47. Mom, I can't feel my hips.
Clark.Copy !req
48. Yes, honey?
Audrey's frozen from the waist down.Copy !req
49. That's all part of the
experience, honey.Copy !req
50. There it is.Copy !req
51. The Griswold family Christmas tree.Copy !req
52. Isn't it a little big?
It's not big, it's just full.Copy !req
53. Dad, that thing wouldn't fit in our yard.
It's not going in our yard, Russ.Copy !req
54. It's going in our living room.Copy !req
55. Look at it.
It really is beautiful, Clark.Copy !req
56. It's something else, huh, Russ?
Yeah, Dad.Copy !req
57. Isn't it a beaut, Audrey?
She'll see it later, honey.Copy !req
58. Her eyes are frozen.Copy !req
59. Most enduring traditions of the season
are best enjoyed in the warm embrace...Copy !req
60. of kith and kin.Copy !req
61. This tree is the symbol of the spirit
of the Griswold family Christmas.Copy !req
62. Dad, did you bring a saw?Copy !req
63. Looks like the toad overestimated
the height of his living room ceiling.Copy !req
64. Hey, Griswold. Where do you think
you're gonna put a tree that big?Copy !req
65. Bend over and I'll show you.Copy !req
66. You've got a lot of nerve
talking to me like that.Copy !req
67. I wasn't talking to you.Copy !req
68. Clark, do you think there's
enough room for the angel?Copy !req
69. Oh, sure, honey. I have
a little more trimming to do...Copy !req
70. but that won't be a problem.
Ready?Copy !req
71. I give you
the Griswold family Christmas tree.Copy !req
72. There's a lot of sap in here.Copy !req
73. It looks great. A little full.
A lot of sap.Copy !req
74. Did I tell you I talked
to my mother today?Copy !req
75. And?Copy !req
76. They've decided they're coming
for Christmas too.Copy !req
77. It's not too late to change our plans.
No, no, that's great. That's great.Copy !req
78. You're forgetting how difficult
it's gonna be...Copy !req
79. having everybody in the house
at the same time.Copy !req
80. Honey, they're family. They're
not strangers off the street.Copy !req
81. All they do is argue.Copy !req
82. Christmas is about
resolving differences...Copy !req
83. and seeing through the problems
of family life.Copy !req
84. Yeah. And it's about my mother accusing
your mother of buying cheap hot dogs.Copy !req
85. And your mother accusing my mother
of waxing her upper lip.Copy !req
86. And then they don't speak to each other—
Your mother waxes her upper lip?Copy !req
87. She has for years.
It doesn't show.Copy !req
88. I don't know, Sparky.
I have this feeling—Copy !req
89. Ellen.Copy !req
90. I want to have Christmas
here in our house.Copy !req
91. It means a lot to me. All my life I've
wanted to have a big family Christmas.Copy !req
92. I know.Copy !req
93. It's just that I know how you build
things up in your mind, Sparky.Copy !req
94. You set standards that no family
event can ever live up to.Copy !req
95. When have I ever done that?Copy !req
96. Parties. Weddings. Anniversaries.
Good night, honey.Copy !req
97. Funerals. Holidays.
Oh, great.Copy !req
98. Vacations. Graduations.Copy !req
99. You should be looking at a fat
Christmas bonus this year, huh?Copy !req
100. Word is you're an excellent choice to be
named Food Additive Designer of the Year.Copy !req
101. I'm not kidding.Copy !req
102. What's that new thing you got
at Food and Drug?Copy !req
103. Oh, the crunch enhancer? Yeah, it's
a non-nutritive cereal varnish.Copy !req
104. It's semipermeable, not osmatic.
It coats and seals the flake...Copy !req
105. prevents the milk from penetrating it.
Yeah.Copy !req
106. It's a beautiful product.
I like it, yeah.Copy !req
107. The question is,
what will you do with that bonus?Copy !req
108. Gonna blow it on yourself, I hope.
Me? Heck, no.Copy !req
109. Take a look at this.Copy !req
110. I hope my Christmas bonus check
will cover it.Copy !req
111. Oh, my God, you're
putting in a pool.Copy !req
112. I went ahead and I put a $7500
deposit down on it.Copy !req
113. You're the last true family man.Copy !req
114. Mark.
Clark.Copy !req
115. That's Bill, sir.Copy !req
116. Were you working on that
non-nutritive cereal varnish?Copy !req
117. Yes, sir.Copy !req
118. I've got to give a
speech to a trade group.Copy !req
119. I'd like to mention it. Write a brief summary
and have it to me by the end of the day.Copy !req
120. My pleasure.
Layman's terms.Copy !req
121. None of that inside bullshit jargon
nobody understands.Copy !req
122. Yes, sir.Copy !req
123. Oh, Mr. Shirley. We got
your Christmas card the other day...Copy !req
124. and my family and I are very
flattered that you remembered us.Copy !req
125. Corporate cards.Copy !req
126. Don't forget that report, Bill.
Yes, sir. Thank you. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
127. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.Copy !req
128. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass.
Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.Copy !req
129. Can I show you something?Copy !req
130. I was just smelling— Smiling.
I was just blouse— Browsing.Copy !req
131. For your wife or your girlfriend?Copy !req
132. What? What happened?Copy !req
133. I guess it wouldn't be any—Copy !req
134. Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping
season if stores were less hooter—Copy !req
135. Hotter than they are.Copy !req
136. It is warm in here.
You have your coat on.Copy !req
137. Yes. Oh, do I? How did that happen?
Because it's cold out.Copy !req
138. Yes. Yes. It is. It's a bit
nipply out. I mean, nippy out.Copy !req
139. What did I say, nipple?Copy !req
140. There is a nip in the air though.
Can I take something out for you?Copy !req
141. I was just... I was just looking
at something for my wife.Copy !req
142. God rest her soul.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
143. Oh, no, no, she's not dead.
We're just divorced. She's history.Copy !req
144. Obviously she doesn't wear underwear. And
there are plenty of shopping days left...Copy !req
145. until adultery— Adulthood.
Which is to say Christmas, as in Yule.Copy !req
146. Yule log. Not a log,
I don't have a log.Copy !req
147. But, I mean, you know,
just if I had a log...Copy !req
148. not in the sense that you think
I said I did. Good golly.Copy !req
149. 'Tis the season to be merry.Copy !req
150. Well, that's my name.
No shit.Copy !req
151. What do these do?
Do they clip on here? Down there?Copy !req
152. Would you like this one?
Sure.Copy !req
153. These are cut really high on the hip.
Look, I'm wearing something similar.Copy !req
154. See? You can't see the line.Copy !req
155. You can't see the line, can you, Russ?
No.Copy !req
156. No.Copy !req
157. That's a Christmas present
from a very dear friend of mine.Copy !req
158. Look, Daddy, teacher says
every time a bell rings...Copy !req
159. an angel gets his wings.Copy !req
160. Folks! Folks! Folks! Merry Christmas.Copy !req
161. Hey! How you doing, son?
Fine.Copy !req
162. There he is! Oh, my boy.Copy !req
163. Look at how big you've gotten.
Merry Christmas.Copy !req
164. Mom.
Sweetheart.Copy !req
165. Oh, knock on the door.
Lift up the ladder.Copy !req
166. Listen. Doesn't Nora look old?
You promised.Copy !req
167. Of course I do.
They took a pint of fluid out of my back.Copy !req
168. Do you see this mole?
This mole on my neck?Copy !req
169. Think it's changing color?
No.Copy !req
170. You keep touching it, it's getting redder.
I got hemorrhoids. Can you believe that?Copy !req
171. Oh, Mother.
Isn't that terrible?Copy !req
172. You're not getting the garage space.
After what you did—Copy !req
173. I'm doing the parking.
Russ, you want to help?Copy !req
174. Mom, they're not sleeping in my room.
I'm gonna go crazy, Mom.Copy !req
175. Sweetheart. Your grandma Nora's
got a real painful burr on my heel.Copy !req
176. If you rub it for me,
I'll give you a whole quarter.Copy !req
177. A quarter. A quarter.
I'll give Audrey a quarter too.Copy !req
178. I'm gonna put my car in the garage!
He damaged my car, you believe that?Copy !req
179. I'll park the cars.Copy !req
180. This is what Christmas is all about.Copy !req
181. I'll park the cars
and check the luggage...Copy !req
182. and yeah, I'll be
outside for the season.Copy !req
183. We're gonna have the
best-looking house in town.Copy !req
184. I've always wanted to do this.
That's a lot of lights, Dad.Copy !req
185. I'm sure it's a lot of work too,
but if I'm out in the cold...Copy !req
186. and I'm committed to decorating
the house, I'm gonna do it right...Copy !req
187. and I'm gonna do it big.Copy !req
188. You want something you can
be proud of, don't you?Copy !req
189. Yeah, I guess so.
Sure you do.Copy !req
190. You think you might be overdoing it, Dad?
When was the last time I overdid anything?Copy !req
191. Come on, unravel these.Copy !req
192. You have to check every bulb.
Got a little knot here. You work on that.Copy !req
193. I'll get the other box.Copy !req
194. I hope he falls and breaks his neck.
I'm sure he'll fall.Copy !req
195. But I don't think we're lucky enough
to have him break his neck.Copy !req
196. Let's go.Copy !req
197. Boy, these gusty winds appear to be playing
havoc with that giant nutcracker float.Copy !req
198. At this point I can't even see the nuts.
They must have blown away.Copy !req
199. But nothing is going to dampen the spirit
of this holiday crowd, I can tell you that.Copy !req
200. Oh, here they are. Here come the nuts.
These look like giant nuts to me.Copy !req
201. Yeah, I'm reminded of a couple years
ago, the winds were so high here...Copy !req
202. we almost lost Santa's reindeer.Copy !req
203. Rudolph's red nose took out a third
floor window at Marshall Field's.Copy !req
204. They better keep their eyes out on
their nuts before someone gets hurt.Copy !req
205. Would it be indecent to ask
the grandparents to stay at a hotel?Copy !req
206. Audrey.Copy !req
207. Well, can we at least forbid them
to answer the phone?Copy !req
208. Alex called this morning. Grandpa Clark
told him I couldn't come to the phone...Copy !req
209. because I was going to the bathroom.
We're all making sacrifices, Audrey.Copy !req
210. Everybody?
Do you sleep with your brother?Copy !req
211. Do you know how sick and twisted
that is, Mom?Copy !req
212. Well, I'm sleeping with your father.
Don't be so dramatic.Copy !req
213. I have nightmares about
what he does in his bed...Copy !req
214. when I'm not lying
right next to him.Copy !req
215. Well, I don't know what to say except
it's Christmas and we're all in misery.Copy !req
216. Ellen, are you smoking again?Copy !req
217. No!Copy !req
218. Hey, Dad, where do you want
these reindeer?Copy !req
219. Just put them down there
on the lawn, Russ.Copy !req
220. I can't find the Santa Claus.Copy !req
221. It's in the basement.
We'll get it later.Copy !req
222. Clark. Dinner's ready.
Okay, honey. I'm starving.Copy !req
223. Obviously something
had to break the window!Copy !req
224. Something had to hit the stereo!Copy !req
225. And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?
I don't know, Margo.Copy !req
226. You want to hurry this up, Clark?
I'm freezing my baguettes off.Copy !req
227. Two hundred and fifty strands of light,
100 individual bulbs per strand...Copy !req
228. for a grand total of 25,000
imported Italian twinkle lights.Copy !req
229. Twenty-five thousand.
Well, I hope nobody I know drives by...Copy !req
230. and sees me standing in the yard,
staring at the house in my pajamas.Copy !req
231. If they know your dad,
they won't think anything of it.Copy !req
232. Fire it up, Dad!Copy !req
233. I dedicate this house
to the Griswold family Christmas.Copy !req
234. Drum roll, please.Copy !req
235. Drum roll.Copy !req
236. Beautiful, Clark.
Talk about pissing your money away.Copy !req
237. I hope you kids see what a silly
waste of resources this was.Copy !req
238. He worked really hard, Grandma.
So do washing machines.Copy !req
239. Let's get in where it's warm.Copy !req
240. Clark, baby, I can picture it in my mind.
And it's breathtaking.Copy !req
241. Thanks, Mom.
It's probably a bad bulb, son.Copy !req
242. You know, if one goes out,
the whole thing doesn't work.Copy !req
243. Now, if I were you
I'd personally check each one.Copy !req
244. I did that, Dad. I can't—
Now, look, if you need any help...Copy !req
245. give me a holler. I'll be upstairs, asleep.
Thanks.Copy !req
246. Sorry, Daddy. It looks good
even if they're not lit.Copy !req
247. Thank you, sweetheart.Copy !req
248. Well, Dad, it was a good try.
Thanks, Russ.Copy !req
249. Russ.
Yeah?Copy !req
250. We checked every bulb, didn't we?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure of it.Copy !req
251. I thought so. Well, maybe we ought
to go up there and just get—Copy !req
252. Jeez! Look at the time. I gotta get
to bed. Brush my teeth. Feed the hog.Copy !req
253. I've still got some homework to do.
Do the laundry. Wash the car.Copy !req
254. I've still got those bills to pay...Copy !req
255. Clark, don't stay up too late.Copy !req
256. Get off me, you little fungus.Copy !req
257. Where the hell is that
cold coming from?Copy !req
258. Hello?Copy !req
259. I need to get a few more—
Pay by check.Copy !req
260. I will. Not a card?
No. If they return it, then it's a hassle...Copy !req
261. Russ!Copy !req
262. Help!
Daddy, is Clark coming?Copy !req
263. How would I know?
Is he in the house?Copy !req
264. If he isn't farting around
with his lights, he must be inside.Copy !req
265. I'm sure he wants to come shopping
and have lunch with us.Copy !req
266. He's got another car. He can drive.
I have to eat so I can take my back pills.Copy !req
267. Ellen! Hey! Ellen!Copy !req
268. I want to take off these clothes, sit
with a glass of wine and kiss your body.Copy !req
269. After you shower, of course.
Of course.Copy !req
270. Sparky?
Yes, honey.Copy !req
271. Are you out here for a reason,
or are you just avoiding the family?Copy !req
272. No. I still have a couple hundred
more bulbs to check.Copy !req
273. In the meantime, I can light the Santa and
the reindeer and the Merry Christmas sign.Copy !req
274. That should look good. Ready?Copy !req
275. You want me to do the drum roll thing?
No, it's okay. Here goes nothing.Copy !req
276. I don't understand it.Copy !req
277. The house lights don't work,
the flood lights don't work.Copy !req
278. Is it plugged in?Copy !req
279. Do you honestly think I would check
thousands of lights...Copy !req
280. if the extension
cord wasn't plugged in?Copy !req
281. You used more than one
cord, didn't you?Copy !req
282. Maybe the kids have been fooling
around with it. I'll check in back.Copy !req
283. Clark!Copy !req
284. Todd! What's that light?Copy !req
285. Clark!Copy !req
286. Honey, I think I know what's wrong.Copy !req
287. I can't see.Copy !req
288. No, no, no—
Oh, my God—Copy !req
289. This ought to do it.Copy !req
290. Ellen, I fixed it!Copy !req
291. Oh, God!Copy !req
292. Everybody! Come out quick!
Look at the lights!Copy !req
293. Get a towel.
Okay!Copy !req
294. Wait a minute. I don't believe this!
What's all the yelling about?Copy !req
295. What? But—
What's going on here?Copy !req
296. Twenty-five thousand twinkle lights.Copy !req
297. What's he doing, Clark?
I haven't the foggiest.Copy !req
298. What?Copy !req
299. What the hell?
What is wrong with this?Copy !req
300. Damn it! Damn it!Copy !req
301. You goddamn light!Copy !req
302. Go! Go! Do it!Copy !req
303. Dad, it's beautiful!Copy !req
304. Oh, my carpet!Copy !req
305. Oh, Clark, it's so lovely.
Mom.Copy !req
306. You deserve a home like this
to spend Christmas in.Copy !req
307. It's a beaut, Clark. It's a beaut.
Dad, Dad, Dad.Copy !req
308. You taught me everything
I know about exterior illumination.Copy !req
309. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
310. Russ. Audrey.Copy !req
311. Dear, dear Francis.Copy !req
312. I hope this adds to your enjoyment
of the holidays.Copy !req
313. It's just wonderful.
Yeah.Copy !req
314. Arthur. Art.Copy !req
315. Dad.Copy !req
316. Thanks for being here.
The little lights are not twinkling.Copy !req
317. I know, Art, and
thanks for noticing.Copy !req
318. The house sure does
look swell, Clark.Copy !req
319. Thanks, Eddie. I hope it enhances
your holiday spirit. Dear Cathrine.Copy !req
320. Eddie?Copy !req
321. Oh, the house is gorgeous, Clark.
Eddie?Copy !req
322. I hope you didn't do this
all on our account, Clark.Copy !req
323. Kids, come on out here and see what
Uncle Clark's done to the house.Copy !req
324. Eddie?Copy !req
325. Eddie?Copy !req
326. Yeah. If you don't remember,
this here is Rocky.Copy !req
327. You got a kiss for me?
Better take a rain check on that, Art.Copy !req
328. He's got a lip fungus
they ain't identified yet.Copy !req
329. You remember Ruby Sue?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
330. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
331. Her eyes aren't crossed anymore.
That's something, ain't it?Copy !req
332. Falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets
kicked by a mule, they go back to normal.Copy !req
333. I don't know.Copy !req
334. And this here's our pride and joy.
Snots.Copy !req
335. Pretty name, Ed.Copy !req
336. We named him that because he's
got this sinus condition.Copy !req
337. Snots, you roll over and let
Uncle Clark scratch your belly.Copy !req
338. You ain't never seen a set on a dog
like this one's got, Clark.Copy !req
339. That's okay, Eddie.Copy !req
340. That's something, ain't it?
You pet him on the belly...Copy !req
341. and he'll love you
till the day you die.Copy !req
342. I really shouldn't.
My hands are all chapped.Copy !req
343. We were gonna call, but Eddie
wanted to make it a surprise.Copy !req
344. Yeah. You surprised?
Surprised, Eddie?Copy !req
345. If I woke up with my head sewn to the
carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised.Copy !req
346. We have plenty of room.Copy !req
347. We have plenty of towels.
We have plenty of everything.Copy !req
348. We're pretty well set up here
in the RV. It's a little tight...Copy !req
349. but we didn't come to impose.
Hell, there's plenty of room.Copy !req
350. Quit being so damn polite, Ed.Copy !req
351. Cathrine and I, we're pretty
comfy in there, you know.Copy !req
352. But maybe you wouldn't mind
the youngsters shacking up with you.Copy !req
353. After that long drive, we could
use a little private time together.Copy !req
354. Why don't you run and get the kids' things?
Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.Copy !req
355. Come on. I wanna show you the home.Copy !req
356. Audrey, help me get some
hot chocolate. It's cold.Copy !req
357. That's a honey of a tree, Clark.
Is it real?Copy !req
358. Yeah. Yeah, I dug it out
of the ground myself.Copy !req
359. Is that a fact?
Hey, get out of there. Snots! Yo!Copy !req
360. Don't worry about it, Clark. A little
tree water ain't gonna hurt him.Copy !req
361. Before we left, he drank
a half a quart of Pennzoil.Copy !req
362. Boy, when he lifted his leg
the next morning...Copy !req
363. If he drinks the water, the tree's
gonna dry up. Come on, out of there.Copy !req
364. Snots.
Out, out, out.Copy !req
365. Get out of there.
Get in the kitchen now.Copy !req
366. Get in the kitchen there and get
you something to eat. Go on.Copy !req
367. He's cute, ain't he? Problem is, he's got
a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him.Copy !req
368. If the mood catches him right, he'll
grab your leg and just go to town.Copy !req
369. Don't want him around if you're wearing
short pants, if you know what I mean.Copy !req
370. A word of warning, though. If he does lay
into you, it's best to just let him finish.Copy !req
371. I can't believe you're actually standing
here in my living room, Eddie.Copy !req
372. Never thought the day would come.
Yeah, I'm excited about it too.Copy !req
373. It's a crying shame
the older kids couldn't make it.Copy !req
374. I'll get that. Don't worry about it.
Let me get it.Copy !req
375. Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic,
getting cured off the Wild Turkey.Copy !req
376. And the older boy, bless his soul,
is preparing for his career.Copy !req
377. College?
Carnival.Copy !req
378. You gotta be proud.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
379. Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust
spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl.Copy !req
380. He thinks maybe next year...Copy !req
381. he'll be guessing people's weight
or barking for the Yak Woman.Copy !req
382. You ever see her?
No.Copy !req
383. She's got these big horns
growing right out above her ears.Copy !req
384. Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal.
And a hell of a good cook.Copy !req
385. Can I refill your eggnog?
Get you something to eat?Copy !req
386. Drive you out to nowhere
and leave you for dead?Copy !req
387. No, I'm doing just fine, Clark.
Just glad to be here.Copy !req
388. Yeah. So when did you get
the tenement on wheels?Copy !req
389. Oh, that there? That's an RV.Copy !req
390. Yeah, yeah. I borrowed it off a
buddy of mine. He took my house...Copy !req
391. I took the RV. It's a
good-looking vehicle, ain't it?Copy !req
392. Yeah. Looks so nice parked
in the driveway.Copy !req
393. Yeah, it sure does. But don't
you go falling in love with it now.Copy !req
394. Because we're taking it with us
when we leave here next month.Copy !req
395. Well, get Ed Leftic up here
to look over these figures.Copy !req
396. Oh, retooling.
That's a great excuse.Copy !req
397. Retooling? I'll retool you!Copy !req
398. Mr. Shirley, merry Christmas.
Who's that?Copy !req
399. It's me, Clark Griswold.
What do you want?Copy !req
400. My wife and I came up with a little
something special. It's a gift.Copy !req
401. Put it over there with the others,
greaseball.Copy !req
402. By the way, I hope my report
helped out at the trade show.Copy !req
403. I'm sure it did, Grisball.Copy !req
404. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in
the middle of an important call.Copy !req
405. Get me somebody. Anybody.Copy !req
406. And get me somebody while I wait.Copy !req
407. This is a new silicon-based kitchen
lubricant my company's been working on.Copy !req
408. It creates a surface 500 times
more slippery than any cooking oil.Copy !req
409. We're gonna fly down
the hill with this stuff.Copy !req
410. Has anyone ever used it on a sled?
Not that I know of, Russ.Copy !req
411. Well, don't go putting none of
that stuff on my sled, Clark.Copy !req
412. You know that metal plate in my head?
How could I forget?Copy !req
413. I had to have it replaced because every
time Cathrine revved up the microwave...Copy !req
414. I'd piss my pants and forget
who I was for a half-hour or so.Copy !req
415. Over at the V.A. they had to replace it with
a plastic one and it ain't as strong, so...Copy !req
416. I don't know if I ought to go down
no hill with nothing between...Copy !req
417. the ground and my brain
but a piece of government plastic.Copy !req
418. You really think it matters, Eddie?
The plate runs underneath my part here.Copy !req
419. Over here it's, you know, nothing.Copy !req
420. But here, if this gets dented, then
my hair just ain't gonna look right.Copy !req
421. Yeah, I know the feeling. I better
try this first, see how it works.Copy !req
422. Well, you be careful there.
There's nothing to worry about, Eddie.Copy !req
423. Going for a new amateur recreational
saucer-sled land-speed record:Copy !req
424. Clark W. Griswold Jr.!Copy !req
425. Remember, don't try this at home, kids.
I am a professional.Copy !req
426. Later, dudes. Let her rip. Hang 10.Copy !req
427. Oh, shit!Copy !req
428. This is great! It's great!
It's great! I'm dead!Copy !req
429. Look out!Copy !req
430. Bingo.Copy !req
431. Clark? You staying late?
Oh, hi, Bill. Yeah.Copy !req
432. Just finishing up a few things.
Last day of the year for me.Copy !req
433. Well, have a really Merry Christmas.Copy !req
434. You too.Copy !req
435. Are you okay?
Yeah.Copy !req
436. Bill, did you get your bonus yet?Copy !req
437. I just talked to my son.Copy !req
438. Company messenger brought something
to the house. I guess that's it.Copy !req
439. Nothing like waiting till the
last minute, huh? Did you get yours?Copy !req
440. If it isn't at the house,
I'm sure it's on its way.Copy !req
441. If I don't get that bonus,
I'm in it up to here.Copy !req
442. Don't sweat it. It'll come. Merry Christmas.
Same to you.Copy !req
443. Me?Copy !req
444. Santy Claus!Copy !req
445. Uncle Clark, are you Santy Claus?Copy !req
446. What?Copy !req
447. You scared me.Copy !req
448. No, I'm not Santa Claus.Copy !req
449. I wish I was.Copy !req
450. What are you doing up, sweetheart?Copy !req
451. Rocky bit my thumb.
What?Copy !req
452. Him's nervous because
Christmas is almost here.Copy !req
453. Nervous or excited?
Shitting bricks.Copy !req
454. You shouldn't use that word.
Sorry. Shitting rocks.Copy !req
455. I see. Good.Copy !req
456. Him's nervous because he don't
know if he's getting nothing.Copy !req
457. I don't think he should be nervous
and you shouldn't be either.Copy !req
458. Because if you're
good, Santa knows it.Copy !req
459. If you believe in him and you believe
in your mom and you believe in your...Copy !req
460. Your dad.Copy !req
461. If you've been good all year round, Santa
Claus is gonna bring you something.Copy !req
462. Sometimes I think all that
Santa crap is just bull.Copy !req
463. If he was so real, how come
we didn't get squat last year?Copy !req
464. We didn't do nothing wrong
and we still got the shaft.Copy !req
465. Well, I happen to know for a fact
that Santa Claus is real.Copy !req
466. And in the next couple of days...Copy !req
467. somehow I'm gonna
prove it to you.Copy !req
468. You know, every year he comes
to our house. I've seen him.Copy !req
469. That's true?
Cross my heart.Copy !req
470. So it's good you came to stay with us.
I love it here.Copy !req
471. You don't gotta put on your coat
to go to the bathroom.Copy !req
472. And your house is always parked
in the same place.Copy !req
473. I think you'd better
go back to bed now.Copy !req
474. Okay. How come you ain't sleeping?Copy !req
475. Oh, I was just looking
for something.Copy !req
476. You didn't notice if a man came here
and delivered a letter today, did you?Copy !req
477. Nope. How come?Copy !req
478. Oh, just wondering.Copy !req
479. Now you get back to bed. Come on.Copy !req
480. Uncle Clark, are you sure
you ain't Santy Claus?Copy !req
481. I'm sure.Copy !req
482. I can't even afford to be an elf.Copy !req
483. Two containers of K rations!
Two containers of K rations!Copy !req
484. Then I had Spam until
it was coming out of my ears.Copy !req
485. Oh, bullshit!Copy !req
486. Aren't you having any breakfast?
I'm not in the mood.Copy !req
487. What are you looking at?Copy !req
488. Oh, the silent majesty
of a winter's morn.Copy !req
489. The clean, cool chill
of the holiday air.Copy !req
490. And an asshole in his bathrobe emptying
a chemical toilet into my sewer.Copy !req
491. Shitter was full!
Yeah.Copy !req
492. Have you checked our shitters, honey?
Clark, please.Copy !req
493. He doesn't know any better.
It's illegal.Copy !req
494. It's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity
the person who lights a match near it.Copy !req
495. Merry Christmas. Shitter was full.Copy !req
496. I have a terrible suspicion Cathrine and
Eddie don't have presents for their kids.Copy !req
497. Rocky said something about Eddie telling
him Santa Claus wasn't coming this year.Copy !req
498. Yeah. Ruby Sue said something
like that last night.Copy !req
499. How can they have nothing for the kids?
He's been out of work for seven years.Copy !req
500. In seven years he
couldn't find a job?Copy !req
501. Cathrine says he's been holding out
for a management position.Copy !req
502. So how's the live-bait business, Eddie?
Well, I can't complain. How you doing?Copy !req
503. Not that good, actually.Copy !req
504. Your company kill off all them
people over in India not long ago?Copy !req
505. No. We missed out on that one. You're
pretty set so far as shopping goes?Copy !req
506. Well, I can't lie to you, Clark. The truth
is, things ain't going too good at all.Copy !req
507. You know, I told you I borrowed the RV
from my neighbor? Nope. It's mine.Copy !req
508. We live in it. I had to sell off
the house, the barn, the 10 acres.Copy !req
509. All I kept was a 50-foot plot,
the pigs and the worm farm.Copy !req
510. If only I had back the money
that me and Cathrine...Copy !req
511. sent that TV preacher that was
screwing the hockey players.Copy !req
512. What about the kids?Copy !req
513. His kids can fend for themselves.
No, your kids.Copy !req
514. Oh, well, that's the bitch of it.
See, I don't know what to do.Copy !req
515. We coasted into town on fumes.
The gas money give out in Gurnee.Copy !req
516. Eddie...Copy !req
517. Ellen and I want to help you
give the kids a nice Christmas.Copy !req
518. Clark, I couldn't do that.
No, no, we insist.Copy !req
519. Oh, no. I'm not one
for charity, now.Copy !req
520. Oh, I know that, Eddie.
This isn't charity. It's family.Copy !req
521. I don't know about that.
Now, come on.Copy !req
522. If you don't tell me what they want,
I'll go out and get it on my own.Copy !req
523. Oh, boy.
This is a surprise, Clark.Copy !req
524. This is just a real nice surprise.
Just a real nice surprise.Copy !req
525. Here's a little list. Alphabetical,
starting with Cathrine.Copy !req
526. And if it wouldn't be too much, I'd
like to get something for you, Clark.Copy !req
527. Something really nice.Copy !req
528. Is your house on fire, Clark?
No, Bethany. Those are Christmas lights.Copy !req
529. Don't throw me down, Clark.
I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany.Copy !req
530. Is this the airport, Clark?
We're here!Copy !req
531. Hey, Gris, me and Bethany figured
out the perfect gift for you.Copy !req
532. Oh, Uncle Lewis, you didn't
have to buy me anything.Copy !req
533. Damn it, Bethany, he guessed it.Copy !req
534. Oh, that was fun.
I love riding in cars.Copy !req
535. When did you move to Florida?Copy !req
536. Ellen, are you still dating Clark?Copy !req
537. Oh, Aunt Bethany, you know
you shouldn't have done that.Copy !req
538. Oh, dear. Did I break wind?Copy !req
539. Jesus, did the room
clear out, Bethany?Copy !req
540. Hell, no. She means presents.
You shouldn't have brought presents.Copy !req
541. It isn't every day somebody
moves into a new house.Copy !req
542. They didn't move into a new house.Copy !req
543. Mom?
In the living room, Russ.Copy !req
544. This house is bigger
than your old one.Copy !req
545. Is Rusty still in the Navy?Copy !req
546. Aunt Bethany, why don't you go with
Francis and Cathrine into the living room...Copy !req
547. and say hello to everybody.
Hello, everybody?Copy !req
548. Just in the living room.
I should say it?Copy !req
549. You should say it.
Hello, everybody!Copy !req
550. Mom.
What?Copy !req
551. This box is meowing.
Let me see it.Copy !req
552. She wrapped up her cat.
Take it in the kitchen and open it up.Copy !req
553. Then we'll have a cat running around.
You can't leave it in the box.Copy !req
554. Why would somebody
wrap up a cat in a box?Copy !req
555. She gets confused, Rusty. She and
Uncle Lewis don't have much money...Copy !req
556. so she takes things from the
house and gives them as presents.Copy !req
557. Great. Can't wait to see what I got.Copy !req
558. This one here is leaking.Copy !req
559. It's lime.
That's her Jell-O mold. I'll take it, Eddie.Copy !req
560. Why don't you go back in the living
room and enjoy yourself? Russ?Copy !req
561. Come on, boy.Copy !req
562. Let's go find your sister.Copy !req
563. Before we begin, since this is
Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas...Copy !req
564. I think she should lead us
in the saying of grace.Copy !req
565. Great.Copy !req
566. What, dear?Copy !req
567. Grace!Copy !req
568. Grace? She passed away
30 years ago.Copy !req
569. They want you
to say grace.Copy !req
570. The blessing.Copy !req
571. I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America...Copy !req
572. and to the republic
for which it stands...Copy !req
573. one nation under God,
indivisible...Copy !req
574. with liberty
and justice for all.Copy !req
575. Amen.
Amen.Copy !req
576. Cathrine, if this turkey tastes
half as good as it looks...Copy !req
577. I think we're all in
for a very big treat.Copy !req
578. Thank you.Copy !req
579. Save the neck for me, Clark.
Okay, Eddie.Copy !req
580. Look at that.Copy !req
581. Sorry.Copy !req
582. Why are you crying?
I told you we put it in too early.Copy !req
583. Oh, it's just a little dry. It's fine.
It looks good to me.Copy !req
584. Here's the heart.Copy !req
585. Aunt Bethany?Copy !req
586. Does your cat, by any chance,
eat Jell-O?Copy !req
587. Well, I don't know about the cat,
but I sure am enjoying it.Copy !req
588. Hey, kids?Copy !req
589. I heard on the news that a pilot spotted
Santa's sled on its way in from New York.Copy !req
590. You serious, Clark?Copy !req
591. Art, you want to load me up with
a little more there. It is good.Copy !req
592. Ed?
Yeah, Clark.Copy !req
593. What's wrong with the dog?Copy !req
594. Oh, he's just yacking on a bone.
He's got it up. He's all right now.Copy !req
595. Maybe if you wouldn't
feed him from the table.Copy !req
596. No, no.Copy !req
597. He's probably just nosing
through the trash there.Copy !req
598. Hey, Gris, if you're not doing
anything constructive...Copy !req
599. run into the living room,
get my stogy.Copy !req
600. Is there anything else I can
do for you, Uncle Lewis?Copy !req
601. He's an old man.
This may be his last Christmas.Copy !req
602. If he keeps it up,
it will be his last Christmas.Copy !req
603. That should be it.Copy !req
604. Honey?Copy !req
605. You had too many plugs in one outlet.
Oh, God.Copy !req
606. What is it?Copy !req
607. Nothing. Let's go in
and finish our dessert.Copy !req
608. If that thing had nine lives,
she just spent them all.Copy !req
609. If you don't mind, Clark, I'd like to see
if I can fumigate this here chair.Copy !req
610. It's a good, quality item.Copy !req
611. If you don't mind me asking,
how much it set you back?Copy !req
612. You smell something?Copy !req
613. Fried pussycat.Copy !req
614. It's not the chair. It's some kind
of gas coming from the sewer.Copy !req
615. Lewis?Copy !req
616. My tree!Copy !req
617. So, what's the matter with you?Copy !req
618. Look what you've done to my tree!Copy !req
619. Lewis.Copy !req
620. It was an ugly tree, anyway.Copy !req
621. At least it's out of its misery.Copy !req
622. Dad's gonna flip out.
Nobody's gonna flip out.Copy !req
623. We're gonna have
a wonderful Christmas.Copy !req
624. What the hell do you want?Copy !req
625. I have a delivery for Clark W. Grisman.
I was supposed to deliver it yesterday...Copy !req
626. but it fell between the seats,
and I didn't see it. I'm sorry.Copy !req
627. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
628. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
629. I can't believe it.
What is it?Copy !req
630. A letter confirming your reservation
at the nut house?Copy !req
631. It's from my company.Copy !req
632. Your bonus.
My bonus.Copy !req
633. Open it, Clarkie.
Open it.Copy !req
634. Yeah, I hope it's a fortune, Clark.Copy !req
635. I bet you do, Eddie.Copy !req
636. I was afraid...Copy !req
637. Are you gonna bawl all over it,
or are you gonna open it?Copy !req
638. I was gonna wait till tomorrow to
tell you all this, but what the heck.Copy !req
639. With this bonus check,
I'm putting in a swimming pool.Copy !req
640. That's it. That's the big one!Copy !req
641. Open it!Copy !req
642. I'm sorry if I've been a little
short with everyone lately.Copy !req
643. I've been waiting
for this bonus.Copy !req
644. To make sure the pool goes in
when the ground thaws...Copy !req
645. I had to pay in advance.
And until this arrived...Copy !req
646. I didn't have enough in my
account to cover the check.Copy !req
647. Tear the sucker open, Dad.
Yeah.Copy !req
648. Drum roll. Just kidding.Copy !req
649. If there's enough left over, I'm gonna fly
you all down here to help us dedicate it.Copy !req
650. I can't swim, Clark.Copy !req
651. I know that, Eddie.Copy !req
652. Clark, what's wrong?Copy !req
653. Honey?Copy !req
654. It's bigger than you expected?Copy !req
655. Smaller?Copy !req
656. What is it?Copy !req
657. It's a one-year membership
in the Jelly of the Month Club.Copy !req
658. Oh, God.Copy !req
659. Clark, that's the gift that keeps
on giving the whole year.Copy !req
660. That it is, Edward.
That it is, indeed.Copy !req
661. I'm sorry. Clark...Copy !req
662. If this isn't the biggest bag-over-the-head
punch in the face I ever got. Goddamn it!Copy !req
663. Son.Copy !req
664. That's good. That's good.
That's good.Copy !req
665. Hey!Copy !req
666. If any of you are looking for any
last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one.Copy !req
667. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss,
right here, tonight.Copy !req
668. I want him brought from his happy
holiday slumber on Melody Lane...Copy !req
669. with all the other rich people,
and I want him right here.Copy !req
670. With a big ribbon on his head.Copy !req
671. I wanna look him straight
in the eye and tell him...Copy !req
672. what a cheap, lying, no good,
rotten, four-flushing...Copy !req
673. low-life, snake-licking,
dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed...Copy !req
674. ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing,
brainless, dickless, hopeless...Copy !req
675. heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed,
stiff-legged, spotty-lipped...Copy !req
676. worm-headed sack
of monkey shit he is!Copy !req
677. Hallelujah! Holy shit!
Where's the Tylenol?Copy !req
678. He's got that crazed look in his eye.
I told you we should've gone to Hawaii.Copy !req
679. Turn that thing off
and get in the house!Copy !req
680. I'll talk to him, Mom.Copy !req
681. You know, Dad.
I've been thinking.Copy !req
682. Good talk, Dad.Copy !req
683. Aren't you a bit sorry we didn't
get a Christmas tree?Copy !req
684. Even though they're dirty and
messy and corny and clichéd.Copy !req
685. Well, where you gonna find a tree
at this hour on Christmas Eve?Copy !req
686. What's the matter?Copy !req
687. Was that really necessary?Copy !req
688. We needed a tree.
May I remind you that—Copy !req
689. That this was all my idea. No.
No, no. I'm well aware of that, honey.Copy !req
690. Could you just keep it in mind
the next time you go berserk?Copy !req
691. I didn't go berserk.
I simply solved a problem.Copy !req
692. We needed a coffin.
I mean, a tree.Copy !req
693. There are no lots open
on Christmas Eve.Copy !req
694. Lewis burned down my tree, so I
replaced it as best I could. Voilà.Copy !req
695. Are you okay?
I'm fine, honey.Copy !req
696. Fixed the newelpost.Copy !req
697. What's that sound?Copy !req
698. Do you hear it?
It's a funny squeaky sound.Copy !req
699. You couldn't hear a dump truck
driving through a nitroglycerin plant.Copy !req
700. I hear it too.Copy !req
701. I don't hear it anymore.Copy !req
702. What was it? Oh, my God!Copy !req
703. Quiet! Shut up!Copy !req
704. Mom, don't move.Copy !req
705. We can't let it get out
of the living room.Copy !req
706. Where's Eddie? He usually eats
these goddamn things.Copy !req
707. Oh, not recently, Clark. He read that
squirrels were high in cholesterol.Copy !req
708. Thank you, Cathrine.Copy !req
709. I'll try and trap it.Copy !req
710. Russ!
Right here, Dad.Copy !req
711. Oh, there you are.Copy !req
712. Go get the hammer.Copy !req
713. Clark, what do you need
a hammer for?Copy !req
714. I'm gonna catch it in the coat
and smack it with the hammer.Copy !req
715. I'm going in with him.Copy !req
716. Nora?Copy !req
717. Nora!
Is it gone?Copy !req
718. It probably got scared
and ran back into the tree.Copy !req
719. Squirrel!Copy !req
720. You just march right over there
and slug that creep in the face.Copy !req
721. I can't just attack someone.
If you're not man enough...Copy !req
722. to put an end to this shit,
then I am.Copy !req
723. Oh, my God!Copy !req
724. What happened to you?Copy !req
725. Beautiful. God.Copy !req
726. Where do you think you're going?
Nobody's leaving.Copy !req
727. Nobody's walking out
on this family Christmas.Copy !req
728. No, no. We're all in this together.Copy !req
729. This is a full-blown, four-alarm
holiday emergency here.Copy !req
730. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna
have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas...Copy !req
731. since Bing Crosby tap-danced
with Danny Kaye.Copy !req
732. And when Santa squeezes his ass
down that chimney tonight...Copy !req
733. he's gonna find the jolliest bunch
of assholes this side of the nut house.Copy !req
734. You're goofy.Copy !req
735. Don't piss me off, Art.
Clark?Copy !req
736. It's over.
Not according to Santa's watch.Copy !req
737. Come on, son.
Stay out of this, Dad.Copy !req
738. Clark, I think it's best
if everyone just goes home.Copy !req
739. Before things get worse.
Worse?Copy !req
740. How could they
get any worse?Copy !req
741. Take a look around you, Ellen.
We're at the threshold of hell.Copy !req
742. Son?Copy !req
743. I love you.
We all love you.Copy !req
744. But this is a terrible night. Nothing's
gone right. It's a disaster.Copy !req
745. You losing your temper with the whole
family only makes things worse.Copy !req
746. You're too good a father
to act like this.Copy !req
747. In years to come, you'll want your family
to remember all the love you gave us.Copy !req
748. And how hard you tried
to make the perfect Christmas.Copy !req
749. Well, I just—
You just cocked it up.Copy !req
750. Oh, it's okay. It happens.Copy !req
751. Our holidays were always such a mess.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
752. How did you
get through it?Copy !req
753. I had a lot of help
from Jack Daniels.Copy !req
754. I love you.Copy !req
755. Dad?
Yeah.Copy !req
756. Are you gonna recite
The Night Before Christmas?Copy !req
757. It's your house.
It's your Christmas.Copy !req
758. I'm retiring.Copy !req
759. "The children were nestled
all snug in their beds...Copy !req
760. while visions of sugarplums
danced in their heads.Copy !req
761. And Mama in her kerchief
and I in my cap...Copy !req
762. had just settled our brains
for a long winter's nap.Copy !req
763. When out on the lawn,
there arose such a clatter...Copy !req
764. I sprang from my bed to see
what was the matter.Copy !req
765. Away to the window,
I flew like a flash...Copy !req
766. tore open the shutters
and threw up the sash.Copy !req
767. The moon on the new-fallen snow gave
a luster of midday to objects below.Copy !req
768. When what to my wondering eyes should
appear but a miniature sleigh and..."Copy !req
769. And Eddie with a man in his
pajamas with a dog chain...Copy !req
770. tied to his wrists and ankles.
What the—?Copy !req
771. Stay here.Copy !req
772. Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas, Clark.Copy !req
773. You about ready to do some kissing?Copy !req
774. Yes, officer, it seems my husband's
been abducted.Copy !req
775. The man was...Copy !req
776. wearing a blue leisure suit,
and the plates were from Kansas.Copy !req
777. He was a huge, beastly,
bulging man and—Copy !req
778. I've never been treated
like this in my life.Copy !req
779. I'm sorry. This is our family's
first kidnapping.Copy !req
780. You're fired. And where's the phone?
I'm calling the police.Copy !req
781. Hey, just hold your wad there, fella.
Clark had nothing to do with this.Copy !req
782. This here was my idea.Copy !req
783. All right. He's still fired,
and you are going to jail.Copy !req
784. Oh, no. Eddie, it was my fault.Copy !req
785. I lost my temper
when I got my bonus.Copy !req
786. I guess I said some things I shouldn't have.
Bonus?Copy !req
787. How did you get a bonus?
I cut out bonuses this year.Copy !req
788. Yeah. Thanks for telling us.Copy !req
789. I was expecting a check.
Instead I got enrolled in a jelly club.Copy !req
790. Seventeen years with the company. I've
gotten a bonus every year but this one.Copy !req
791. You don't wanna give bonuses, fine!Copy !req
792. But when people count on them
as part of their salary...Copy !req
793. well, what you did just plain—
Sucks.Copy !req
794. Thank you, Russ.Copy !req
795. My...Copy !req
796. cousin-in-law, whose heart
is bigger than his brain—Copy !req
797. I appreciate that, Clark.Copy !req
798. Is innocent. I'll be more than happy
to take the rap on this.Copy !req
799. On behalf of myself and every other
employee you rear-ended this Christmas.Copy !req
800. Look...Copy !req
801. sometimes things look
good on paper...Copy !req
802. but lose their luster when you see
how it affects real folks.Copy !req
803. I guess a healthy bottom line
doesn't mean much...Copy !req
804. if to get it you have to hurt
the ones you depend on.Copy !req
805. It's people that make the difference.Copy !req
806. Little people, like you.Copy !req
807. So, Carl...Copy !req
808. whatever you got last year...Copy !req
809. add 20 percent.Copy !req
810. Our pool!Copy !req
811. Dad.Copy !req
812. Go away, Todd.Copy !req
813. If you wanna come in, you are gonna
have to break down the goddamn door!Copy !req
814. Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night!Copy !req
815. Freeze!Copy !req
816. Not you, them!
Them!Copy !req
817. This way, please.Copy !req
818. I think you've made a terrible mistake.
I told you to freeze, mister.Copy !req
819. May we blink?Copy !req
820. Frank.Copy !req
821. Helen!
Thank God, you're all right.Copy !req
822. Oh, I'm fine.
I'm just fine.Copy !req
823. It was a big
misunderstanding tonight.Copy !req
824. Excuse me. Would you and
Mrs. Shirley like to step outside...Copy !req
825. so we can take care
of business here?Copy !req
826. There's no business.
I'm not pressing any charges.Copy !req
827. What?
It was a mistake.Copy !req
828. Mistake? Frank, honey,
you were kidnapped.Copy !req
829. I did something I shouldn't have,
and these people called me on it.Copy !req
830. This is Clark Griswold
and his family.Copy !req
831. Welcome to our home.Copy !req
832. What's left of it.Copy !req
833. Release B Squad.
What's going on here?Copy !req
834. Remember how I was toying with the notion
of suspending the Christmas bonuses?Copy !req
835. You didn't. Well, of all the cheap,
lousy ways to save a buck!Copy !req
836. That's pretty low, mister. If I had
a rubber hose, I would beat you to—Copy !req
837. I changed my mind.
I'm reinstating the bonuses.Copy !req
838. Look!Copy !req
839. Look, look!Copy !req
840. Look!Copy !req
841. Ruby Sue, sweetheart.Copy !req
842. It's Santa Claus.
What? What's wrong?Copy !req
843. What?
She thinks she sees Santa.Copy !req
844. No, it's the Christmas star.Copy !req
845. And that's all that matters tonight.Copy !req
846. Not bonuses or gifts
or turkeys or trees.Copy !req
847. See, kids...Copy !req
848. it means something different
to everybody.Copy !req
849. Now I know what it means to me.Copy !req
850. That ain't the frigging
Christmas star, Gris.Copy !req
851. It's a light on the
sewage treatment plant.Copy !req
852. Sewer gas.Copy !req
853. Don't drop that!Copy !req
854. Play ball!Copy !req
855. Merry Christmas, Sparky.Copy !req
856. Merry Christmas, honey.Copy !req
857. Come here.Copy !req
858. I did it.Copy !req