My Life as a Zucchini (2016)

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Gaspard Schlatter as Courgette (voice) • Sixtine Murat as Camille (voice) • Paulin Jaccoud as Simon (voice) • Michel Vuillermoz as Raymond (voice) • Raul Ribera as Ahmed (voice) • Estelle Hennard as Alice (voice) • Elliot Sanchez as Jujube (voice)

After his mother’s death, Zucchini is befriended by a kind police officer, Raymond, who accompanies him to his new foster home filled with other orphans his age. There, with the help of his newfound friends, Zucchini eventually learns to trust and lo...

Switzerland • France • Animation • Drama • Comedy • Family

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Liar!

2. All Liar!

3. Liar!

4. What's going on?

5. Courgette!

6. Courgette, answer when mama calls!

7. Hey, Courgette!

8. Yes Mama.

9. Who is going to clean it up? Mama?

10. Courgette!

11. I didn't do it on purpose. I'm sorry.

12. What am I gonna do with you?

13. You'll regret this!

14. - Please no, mama! - This is gonna hurt!

15. No!

16. How old are you, son?

17. Nine.

18. Was your mama nice to you?

19. She drank a lot of beer.

20. She made good mashed potatoes and sometimes we had fun.

21. Yes.

22. And sometimes not?

23. OK. Where is your father?

24. There.

25. And that's his chicken.

26. Mama always said, he liked chicks too much.

27. Fine.

28. I'll take you to a place

29. with other children like you.

30. Without papas and mamas.

31. But I have a mama.

32. Your mama's gone, Icare*. (Icarus)

33. My name is Courgette*! (Zucchino)

34. Courgette...

35. Is that what your mama called you?

36. I'm Raymond.

37. Is that what your mama called you?

38. Yeah.

39. How about flying your kite?

40. Come on, big guy.

41. Good morning, Monsieur.

42. Good morning, Madame Principal.

43. May I present, Icare.

44. But, I think he prefers to be called, Courgette.

45. Courgette?

46. That's what his mother called him, and it seems important to him.

47. Isn't that so, buddy? OK, come on.

48. Welcome to Les Fontaines,

49. Courgette.

50. Don't worry, you'll be fine here.

51. I'll come to visit you.

52. - Au revoir, Madame. - Au revoir, Monsieur.

53. Shall we go?

54. Rosie will show you to your room.

55. There's a big drawer where you can store all your stuff.

56. I'll leave you to it. This is your bed.

57. You all right?

58. I'll let you put your stuff away and wait in the hall.

59. Good morning, Madame!

60. Children, this is your new classmate, Icare.

61. - Courgette. - Ah, yes, pardon me.

62. Your new classmate, Courgette.

63. - I'd say, Potato-head! - Simon, that's enough!

64. Calm down, children!

65. Well, I'll leave you to it.

66. See you later, Monsieur Paul.

67. Take a seat, big guy.

68. So, I'll resume...

69. As I was saying, the cow is a ruminant.

70. This means that she ruminates.

71. That is, first she swallows the grass,

72. without chewing it, then brings it up later

73. and calmly chews it.

74. We don't exactly know why cows...

75. Welcome to prison, Potato-head!

76. Oooh, look out, hot Potato!

77. You must have room in your nose, from your excavations!

78. Stop it, Simon!

79. Shove over!

80. So, Potato-head, why are you here? Huh? C'mon, tell me!

81. Why'd they bring you here?

82. Hold on, you got potatoes on your plate.

83. Potato-head eating potatoes!

84. How bizarre! Guys, Potato-head is a cannibal.

85. Enough, Simon!

86. If you're here it's because your parents rejected you. They got rid of you.

87. A rotten potato... for the compost heap!

88. Stop it! Shut your mouth!

89. Look, guys, Alice has the shakes again.

90. What's with the band-aids?

91. Rosie put them on, 'cause I had a headache.

92. Stop, I'm fed up with your fork!

93. I'll soon find out why you're here.

94. I'll get it out of you!

95. Another autistic head case!

96. C'mon, bedtime.

97. Everyone to their room

98. Good night, sweet dreams.

99. Straight to bed, tonight, guys!

100. Shh! Courgette is already asleep.

101. - Ahmed, did you pee? - Um, I think so.

102. - You think so, or are you sure? - I think so.

103. You're a real dope, Ahmed.

104. Yeah, you're a real dope, dude!

105. - Ahmed is a bed wetting little girl! - Stop it, now! - Come on! - He hit me.

106. Shh, good night kisses for everyone, then it's lights out!

107. - Good night! - Thank you.

108. See you tomorrow.

109. Is Potato-head sleeping?

110. No, Potato-head's not sleeping.

111. And he won't sleep the rest of the night.

112. - C'mon, run, run! - It's not flying yet.

113. - Faster! - Yeah, you did it!

114. It's super high!

115. Let me have a go, please!

116. Wow, see how it flies?

117. Let go of that!

118. Oh yeah? What're you gonna do if I don't?

119. Take out your magic wand, like Harry Potato-head?

120. Harry Potato-head! That's so random!

121. Fight, fight, fight!

122. Smash his face!

123. Kung-Fu-Courgette!

124. Never touch my kite, got it?

125. No, I didn't quite get it.

126. Touch my stuff again, and I break your arm!

127. Courgette has guts!

128. - He's nuts! - The guy's strong, huh?

129. We were playing soccer, then he came up, behind, and jumped me.

130. Courgette? Not saying anything?

131. I wanna go home to my mama.

132. Could you leave us, Simon?

133. That's impossible, Courgette.

134. She's gone. Your mama is in heaven.

135. But, you'll be fine, here.

136. I promise.

137. Hey, Potato-head!

138. Courgette!

139. My parents took drugs.

140. Both of them.

141. All the time.

142. So, I was brought here.

143. Won't you tell me why you're here?

144. I could tell you about the others.

145. I know their cases by heart.

146. You see, Bea? Her mother was deported.

147. Shipped her back to Africa, while Bea was in school.

148. Jujube's mother spends her time opening and closing the fridge.

149. Click-clack, click-clack, all the time.

150. Or she cleans the toilet for weeks.

151. She's totally sick.

152. C'mon, over here. Shoot!

153. Ahmed's father did a hold-up.

154. Can you imagine? He held-up a gas station,

155. to buy him some Nikes.

156. Want me to get Rosie?

157. Alice's father did creepy things to her, disgusting stuff.

158. Dunno exactly what.

159. But Alice had nightmares every night.

160. He's in prison, now.

161. I think, I may have killed my mama.

162. But I didn't mean to.

163. I didn't do it on purpose.

164. We're all the same.

165. We have no one to love us.

166. Well... in the mornings, we get up.

167. And there's Ahmed, who wet his bed again.

168. Then we wash.

169. All except Simon. He only pretends to wash.

170. And Jujube eats toothpaste.

171. 'Cause his mom said it's healthy.

172. There's the orangutan.

173. The Gorilla.

174. At school, M. Paul tells us about people who came before us.

175. They lived before soap even existed.

176. They never showered.

177. Like Simon.

178. Monsieur!

179. And then Jujube asks to go to the nurse's office.

180. Because of the toothpaste.

181. OK, Jujube.

182. In the meantime we play at being Cro-Magnon men.

183. Well, that's all great. Sounds fun.

184. Yeah, it's fun.

185. What is it, big guy?

186. It'll be less fun when you stop coming.

187. You think I come because I feel obliged to?

188. I dunno, it's your job.

189. No, it's not my job. I come to see you because I like you.

190. I like you, too.

191. I don't think they like cops, much.

192. Especially, Ahmed. He thinks you put his father in prison.

193. Good morning, Madame!

194. Mama!

195. What does she want from me?

196. Come on, wake up!

197. Move it, I have stuff to do.

198. Well, she's about as pleasant as a prison gate!

199. Oh, no!

200. She's probably in her room.

201. My poor little darling!

202. It's hard. Hard.

203. No, she's not here.

204. Then, she must be in the yard.

205. - My name is Camille. - Mm, mmph.

206. I'm Courgette.

207. Hey, new girl, tell us why you're here.

208. - Ah, you're the boss, are you? - Exactly.

209. - And we gotta do everything you say? - Voila, you got it!

210. That's how to talk to girls.

211. All right.

212. I'm here

213. because my mother,

214. every morning,

215. made me...

216. go to school, dressed as a dinosaur.

217. Oh, yeah?

218. Hey, you yanking my chain?

219. Watch it, I wouldn't laugh, if I were you!

220. Anyway, I really like dinosaurs.

221. Bunch of lame-Os!

222. Bye, boss!

223. Boss, boss, boss...

224. - Hey, Simon! - What is, squirt?

225. Can I ask you something? You know, about how to do stuff.

226. - What stuff? - The stuff that girls and boys do.

227. I know that stuff by heart, my parents had films.

228. It's really weird stuff. You move like so...

229. Then the girl moves, too, and then... Pow! You see?

230. Waddaya mean, 'pow'? Your wiener explodes?

231. - Yeah, it explodes. - Seriously, Simon!

232. Well, you end up exhausted.

233. - Sooo, wiped out! - And what does it do for the girls?

234. They totally sweat a lot and they keep agreeing to stuff.

235. "Oh, yes, yes, yes!" like that.

236. Ah!

237. Nothing to say, Courgette?

238. Courgette!

239. Oh, no, he has a crush, that's what.

240. Oh, yeah? Got a crush?

241. Totally random!

242. Sure, you can see it, a mile away! You're in love with Camille.

243. I'd just like to know, why she's here.

244. But... we know, why she's here. Because of that dinosaur thing.

245. I know why she's here.

246. Do you REALLY wanna know why she's here?

247. - Are you sure? - Shh!

248. - What if we get caught? - You wanna find out, or not? - Yes.

249. Hold this.

250. Ah, got it!

251. Now, then...

252. Interesting.

253. It's because she killed a guy.

254. - Because he was in love with her. - What?

255. I'd be careful, if I were you.

256. And she has it in for guys named after vegetables.

257. The guy's name was Carrot.

258. - Oh, stop it! - Scared-ya, huh?

259. Actually, in fact, her father killed her mother.

260. Because she loved another guy.

261. And then...

262. - he committed suicide. - Show me.

263. It says, here, Camille saw the whole thing.

264. Here, look.

265. Oh, yeah.

266. You can see it in her eyes.

267. You can see, that she saw it all.

268. Hi, Camille.

269. Camille.

270. Camille!

271. Jujube, look!

272. That's what you call preliminaries. If Rosie and M. Paul were in bed,

273. Rosie would sweat ten times more and M. Paul's wiener would explode.

274. - Is that true, Simon? - 'Course, Waddaya think?

275. - Disgusting! - No, he's just in love.

276. He squeezes her tightly, 'cause he's afraid she'll go away.

277. Oh, poor guy!

278. All right kids, are you ready to discover snow?

279. - Monsieur! Monsieur! - Yes, Ahmed.

280. I have a question. Er... Is your wiener in good shape?

281. What are you talking about?

282. Well, if his wiener explodes, we won't be able to see the snow.

283. What's this? Tell me, Potato-head, what!

284. - Don't touch that! - Hey guys he's an alcoholic!

285. Gimme that! It's a souvenir from my mother.

286. - Don't touch that! - Calm down.

287. Brrr, it's cold here!

288. - Who's thirsty? - I am! - Me too!

289. - First Kiki and me. - Be good, huh?

290. Your glasses are too much!

291. And I even see myself in them.

292. Wanna try them on?

293. Wow! Classy!

294. What's going on here?

295. Little thief!

296. Where's your mother?

297. She ran off with a man. She doesn't ever wanna see me again.

298. - And your father? - In prison.

299. You're not only thief but a liar, too!

300. No, I'm not! I'm not lying, Madame.

301. Come, sweety, let's go.

302. I'm not a liar. I don't lie!

303. Come along!

304. Cool!

305. Watch out!

306. We're faster than you.

307. - Ayi! - Look!

308. His mama is pretty.

309. Maybe it's not his mama.

310. I'd like to be a polar bear, ♪ Ich möchte ein Eisbär sein

311. at the cold polar ♪ im kalten Polar

312. Then I wouldn't have to cry anymore ♪ dann müßte Ich nicht mehr schrei'n

313. Everything would be so clear ♪ alles wär' so klar.

314. I'd like to be a polar bear, ♪ Ich möchte ein Eisbär sein

315. at the cold polar ♪ im kalten Polar

316. Then I wouldn't have to cry anymore ♪ dann müßte Ich nicht mehr schrei'n

317. Hey, are you sleeping?

318. No.

319. And you? Are you sleeping?

320. No.

321. And you?

322. Not yet.

323. Shh! Come.

324. I have something for you. For your birthday.

325. - My birthday's passed. - I know, but we hadn't met 3 months ago.

326. So I couldn't give you a gift. Here.

327. Wow!

328. How do you know my birthday was 3 months ago?

329. I snooped in Madame Papineau's office.

330. Then you know everything.

331. Uh... yeah.

332. When my parents died, I went to live with my aunt.

333. The one who brought me the other day.

334. She's a real witch, for sure.

335. When we're alone, she yells at me all the time.

336. Now, at the Foster Home it's fine.

337. Sometimes I dream I'm grown up and still with my mother.

338. She still talks to herself as she drinks beer.

339. And I drink a lot, too.

340. I'm happy, knowing that this will never happen.

341. If they hadn't brought me here, I'd have never known you.

342. Where'd you guys go?

343. - Did you explode your wiener? - Be quiet, Jujube.

344. We were enjoying the snow, because tomorrow we go back.

345. Oh, no, I don't wanna leave it was my dream to see snow.

346. And ride horses.

347. C'mon, snowball fight! Girls against boys!

348. We've run out of ammunition.

349. Hello, Raymond, everything's fine around here.

350. You know what? A great thing happened.

351. Ahmed, put your hand on it very gently and you'll feel something.

352. Rosie is expecting a baby.

353. - Feel that? - Yeah.

354. All because of Monsieur Paul's wiener, I think.

355. We feel miserable 'cause she'll go away.

356. But she says, we'll all have a little brother.

357. We decided to call him Spiderman.

358. Spiderman! Spiderman!

359. I'm really looking forward to seeing you again.

360. Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you one more thing.

361. The new girl is called Camille.

362. 362, 363, 364, 365...

363. 366, 367...

364. - What's your record? - My record is 747.

365. - You're good. - Someday I'll reach 1000.

366. I read in a book that the world record is 27,075.

367. The girl skipped for 13 hours.

368. Oh, yeah? Not bad.

369. 347, 348, 349...

370. 350, 351...

371. 3, 2, 1.

372. - Mama! - 354, 355...

373. 356, 357, 358, 359, 360.

374. What's SHE doing here?

375. Camille?

376. I don't understand. She absolutely refuses to see you.

377. - I saw you, lamebrains! - What're you doing?

378. Nothing.

379. What's that letter?

380. A letter from my mother.

381. Why don't you open it?

382. I like opening letters, give it here.

383. - Wow, an MP3 player! - Oh, you ARE lucky!

384. - Is there a letter? - No.

385. Sorry, dude.

386. I'm sorry, she's traumatized and doesn't want to betray her poor mother.

387. Yes, possibly.

388. This tragedy must've been a terrible shock. Be patient.

389. But, I'll give her all the time she needs, if she just comes to live with me.

390. Let's first try it for one weekend.

391. - Ah, disgusting! - That's mean!

392. Come on, guys.

393. What is it, guys?

394. We've just seen Camilles's aunt. I tell you, up close, she's scary!

395. Poor Camille. I wouldn't wanna live with a woman like that.

396. - Fortunately she's not going to. - She will! Madame Papineau said so.

397. What?

398. There's something I don't understand.

399. Why does she want you to live with her, if she doesn't like you?

400. For the money. If I live with her, she gets loads of cash.

401. You know, if I have to go, I'll kill myself.

402. Or I'll kill her.

403. I won't let you go.

404. Mama!

405. Are you ready? Shall we go?

406. Ohhh!

407. - Sorry... - Yeah, they don't like cops, I know.

408. All right, wait here. I tell Madame Papineau we're going out.

409. - It's heavy! - Really heavy!

410. Hurry up!

411. Next time I'm gonna kick their butts!

412. Your bag is huge.

413. All right, we're off!

414. So, nothing new to tell?

415. Say, that girl, you mentioned.

416. What's she like?

417. Not bad.

418. Just, not bad?

419. You were more enthusiastic in your letter.

420. She has hair.

421. She has soft hair.

422. It's long.

423. And she has eyes that make your stomach clench.

424. What colour are they?

425. - What's this nonsense? - I wanted Camille to come with us.

426. - You only had to ask! - Her aunt wouldn't let her!

427. - We're turning back. - No!

428. If we go back I must go live with my aunt and she'll hit me.

429. All right, fine.

430. I still have to call The Home.

431. Yes?

432. Yes, very well.

433. Yes, Monsieur, very well.

434. I take it up with her aunt.

435. You all right, Courgette?

436. That's my house.

437. Wanna go have a look?

438. What's this?

439. That's where my mother measured me.

440. Here I was wearing my riding helmet.

441. Here is when my father left.

442. And here... I don't remember.

443. Well, you've grown a lot, huh?

444. - Yeah, fantastic! - Go!

445. Careful, Raymond!

446. Watch your head!

447. I'd have made a lousy cowboy.

448. Lemme have that.

449. Wow, you're too cool!

450. - We had a pistol at home. - Like in the Westerns?

451. My father taught me to shoot.

452. He...

453. And...

454. Yeah, I know.

455. We'd like your biggest teddy bear, please, Madame.

456. - You got lovely kids. - They're not my...

457. Thank you.

458. - She left with Courgette. - Who's Courgette?

459. I mean, with Icare and the policeman.

460. A courgette, a policeman? What's all this nonsense?

461. Look I'm really sorry, she hid in the car...

462. A policeman who steals children? Would you call that a fine man?

463. She hid in his car! He didn't know.

464. She clearly did not want to spend the weekend with you.

465. Camille MUST spend the weekend with me!

466. - Where does this man live? - Be reasonable, Madame.

467. Respect Camille's will.

468. Come off it, children have no will!

469. I'll go get her.

470. Excuse me, Madame!

471. Could you give this to Camille, please?

472. What's that thing?

473. Her lucky charm.

474. She forgot it.

475. Oh, her lucky charm! That changes everything.

476. Yes!

477. Is that you when you were young?

478. - No, it's my son. - You have a son?

479. Yes, but he lives far away. I don't see him anymore.

480. Sometimes it's children who abandon their parents.

481. Shall we continue the tour?

482. Wow!

483. - It's a jungle, here! - I love growing stuff.

484. Are we sleeping here?

485. - Is that all right? - Yes!

486. Stop it!

487. You know, on the bus...

488. I wasn't asleep.

489. Not in bed, yet!

490. And doing naughty stuff, too!

491. Come, dearie, we're going home!

492. Kidnapped by a cop, no less!

493. Lemme go!

494. - Ah, it's you! - Let her go! - I'm gonna report you.

495. Camille didn't want to go to your house. I think she has her reasons.

496. I'll file a formal complaint! Come along. - Don't wanna!

497. The judge will vindicate me.

498. I don't think it was a good idea. I'm getting hallucinations.

499. These fries are talking to me.

500. And what are they telling you? "Eat me, eat me, Fatso!"

501. What's going on here?

502. You're not eating?

503. Isn't it good?

504. We're on a hunger strike, until Camille returns.

505. Camille will come back.

506. She's coming to see the judge who'll decide, if her aunt may keep her or not.

507. Dear Camille,

508. since you left, it hasn't been much fun.

509. We tried having a hunger strike, but it didn't work.

510. The Beatrice's mother came.

511. She hid herself in Rosie's arms.

512. I wanna stay with you.

513. And Ahmed peed the bed again.

514. What...

515. One, two... One, two.

516. This is Simon. If you can hear me, raise your arm.

517. No, the other one.

518. Sorry, I couldn't resist the gag.

519. Everything's going very badly.

520. So, listen carefully...

521. You're just like your mother, you little slut.

522. But your nonsense suits my purposes, you know? - It's Camille!

523. The judge won't like it.

524. You've dug your own grave, you poor excuse for a girl.

525. Your Honor, I'll give her an excellent education,

526. a healthy environment, comfort and above all, love.

527. I love her like my own daughter.

528. And Camille and I, get along so well!

529. She doesn't seem wildly enthusiastic.

530. You must understand her. After the tragedy which struck her,

531. she must have the impression of betraying her poor mother.

532. Camille, what do you think? Would you like to live with your aunt?

533. You can see, after this incident, why I have concerns

534. about her safety in this place, whose lax methods leave much to be desired.

535. You're just like your mother, you little slut.

536. Running off with a boy at your age! For shame!

537. The foster home is unable to supervise you.

538. The judge won't like that.

539. Gimme that!

540. Stop, stop!

541. You've dug your own grave, you poor excuse for a girl.

542. - What are you dressed up as, Alice? - As a pirate.

543. - What about you? - As a Mummy.

544. - What are you dressed up as, Beatrice? - As Camille.

545. So, SuperZucchini, what are your superpowers? Do you make vegetables grow fast?

546. What are you dressed as? As a lamebrain?

547. Remind me again, who saved you?

548. He's dressed up as a cop.

549. Careful, Monsieur, I still don't like cops.

550. But I'll keep the hat.

551. - When will you come back? - Soon.

552. How soon?

553. You know, Courgette, I spoke to the judge.

554. I spoke to him because I'd like to be your host family...

555. you and Camille.

556. - Does that mean we're your guests? - Yes.

557. And you'll be like our family, Even though you're all alone?

558. That's it.

559. You'll come live at the house.

560. My home. I mean YOUR home.

561. If you want to.

562. - Does Camille know? - Yes, the judge spoke to her.

563. What did she say?

564. I don't know. But you have time to think about it.

565. You and Camille. Hm?

566. Voila. See you soon, big guy.

567. See you soon, Raymond.

568. I want to thank you all, for saving my life.

569. Especially Simon. Thank you.

570. I never thought,

571. life could be so cool. With you it's really cool.

572. - We'll be together, all our lives! - Cool!

573. No, it's not true. We won't be together, all our lives.

574. Camille and Courgette are splitting. And with the cop, too!

575. Hey, Simon.

576. Simon.

577. We won't leave, Simon.

578. We wanna stay here.

579. It wouldn't be right to leave. We're fine here, all together.

580. Simon...

581. You must go away.

582. You've no idea how rare it is for people to adopt kids as old as us.

583. - But... - No. You must go, for our sake.

584. Understand?

585. A cop and a superhero hugging!

586. Kinda creepy, no?

587. Simon, a bit further left!

588. Voila.

589. OK... don't move...

590. Cut the clowning!

591. This'll be a proper photo, huh?

592. Watch out, smile...

593. Yeah!

594. All right, Cast-off, Super-Zucchini.

595. Good bye!

596. Let's have a race. Last one in,

597. washes my underpants till the end of his life.

598. Allez, go!

599. That, is the day you became my children.

600. Like it?

601. - You all right, Camille? - Yes.

602. I dunno why I'm crying.

603. Sometimes people cry because they're happy.

604. Right, Raymond?

605. Yeah...

606. Dear Simon,

607. you said The Home was a place for those who had no one to love them.

608. I think you're wrong, because we haven't forgotten you.

609. And we haven't forgotten the others.

610. He opened his eyes.

611. Hey, he won't let go.

612. - What's his name, then? - Antoine.

613. - Nice name. - Still, Spiderman was better.

614. Will he live here with us?

615. No.

616. - Unless, you abandon him. - I WON'T abandon him!

617. Even... Even if he's ugly?

618. Even if he smells of poop?

619. Even if he cries all the time?

620. - Even if he pees the bed? - Or lousy at school?

621. - Even if he's stupid? - Even if he eats like a pig?

622. Even if he forgets his name and his feet stink?

623. Even if he's unbearable and screams all the time?

624. Even if he farts?

625. - Even if he draws on the walls? - Even if he wants to be a cop?

626. - Even if... - Even if he has a long giraffe neck?

627. Even if he's a punk?