1. You—You better get married soon.Copy !req
2. You—You starting to look... old.Copy !req
3. My dad's been
saying that to me since I was 15.Copy !req
4. 'Cause nice, sweet girls
are supposed to do three things in life:Copy !req
5. Marry Greek boys, make Greek babies...Copy !req
6. and feed everyone...
until the day we die.Copy !req
7. When I was growing up,
I knew I was different.Copy !req
8. The other girls
were blonde and delicate.Copy !req
9. And I was a swarthy
six—year—old with sideburns.Copy !req
10. I so badly wanted to be
like the popular girls...Copy !req
11. all sitting together talking,
eating their Wonder Bread sandwiches.Copy !req
12. What's that?Copy !req
13. It's moussaka.
— "Moose caca"?Copy !req
14. And while the pretty girls got to go to
Brownies, I had to go to Greek school.Copy !req
15. At Greek school,
I learned valuable lessons, like...Copy !req
16. "If Nick has one goat and Maria
has nine, how soon will they marry?"Copy !req
17. My mom was always cooking foods
filled with warmth and wisdom...Copy !req
18. and never forgetting that
side dish of steaming hot guilt.Copy !req
19. Nico, don't play with your food.Copy !req
20. When I was your age,
we didn't have food.Copy !req
21. Mom?
—What?Copy !req
22. Why do I have to go to Greek school?
—When you get married...Copy !req
23. don't you want to be able to write
your mother—in—law a letter? Nico, eat.Copy !req
24. We lived in a normal middle—class
Chicago neighborhood...Copy !req
25. of tasteful, modest homes.Copy !req
26. Our house, however,
was modeled after the Parthenon...Copy !req
27. complete with Corinthian columns...Copy !req
28. and guarded by statues of the gods.Copy !req
29. In case the neighbors had any doubts
about our heritage...Copy !req
30. they could just check out
our subtle tribute to the Greek flag.Copy !req
31. My dad believed in only two things-Copy !req
32. that Greeks should educate non—Greeks
about being Greek...Copy !req
33. and that any ailment,
from psoriasis to poison ivy...Copy !req
34. could be cured with Windex.Copy !req
35. Six years later, I was 12. Athena,
my older, perfect sister was 15...Copy !req
36. and my brother Nick was 11.Copy !req
37. Every morning my dad would lecture us-
on the history of our people...Copy !req
38. the greatest civilization-
the Greeks.Copy !req
39. Okay. Now name three things
the Greeks did first.Copy !req
40. Astronomy, philosophy and democracy.Copy !req
41. Bravo. Very good.Copy !req
42. Now give me a word.Copy !req
43. Any word, and I show you...Copy !req
44. how the root of that word is Greek.Copy !req
45. Okay?Copy !req
46. How about "arachnophobia"?Copy !req
47. "Arachna"- that come from
the Greek word for "spider"...Copy !req
48. and "phobia" is "phobia," mean "fear."Copy !req
49. So "fear" of "spider." There you go.Copy !req
50. Okay, Mr. Portokalos...Copy !req
51. how about the word "kimono"?Copy !req
52. Aha.
—Good one.Copy !req
53. Kimono.Copy !req
54. Kimono, kimono, kimono.Copy !req
55. Of course. "Kimono"...Copy !req
56. is come from the Greek word "himona"...Copy !req
57. is mean "winter."Copy !req
58. So, what do you wear in the wintertime
to stay warm? A robe.Copy !req
59. You see? "Robe,"kimono."
There you go.Copy !req
60. Bye—bye.
—Good—bye, Mr. Portokalos.Copy !req
61. Toula.Copy !req
62. You should be proud to be Greek.Copy !req
63. A couple more years went by...Copy !req
64. and my dad brought his mother
over from Greece to live with us...Copy !req
65. because we weren't weird enough.Copy !req
66. Listen up, ugly Turk.
You're not kidnapping me.Copy !req
67. Oh!
—Oh!Copy !req
68. Ah! Kosta, get her.
Where is she going?Copy !req
69. Mama, please. The Greeks
and the Turks friends now.Copy !req
70. We told my grandma the war was over...Copy !req
71. but she still slept
with a knife under her pillow.Copy !req
72. Stop hitting me.Copy !req
73. Nico, be careful.
She has a very mean punch.Copy !req
74. Please, come back!Copy !req
75. Nice Greek girls who don't find
a husband work in the family restaurant.Copy !req
76. So here I am.
Day after day, year after year.Copy !req
77. Thirty, and way past my expiration date.Copy !req
78. - My gosh!
- —Oh, it's freezing!Copy !req
79. Toula! You closed last night.
You're opening this morning?Copy !req
80. I have no life.
—Ah, Toula.Copy !req
81. You talk to me sometime, eh?Copy !req
82. Ma, you're gonna make me
swallow my tongue.Copy !req
83. Ah!Copy !req
84. Toula.Copy !req
85. Is Nikki here?
—Mm—mmm.Copy !req
86. What's up, Thea?
—No, my Nikki.Copy !req
87. She was supposed to come over
to curl my hairs.Copy !req
88. Nick, did you check the meat
before you signed for it?Copy !req
89. Dad checked it.
—It better be fresh.Copy !req
90. My brother has twojobs-
to cook and to marry a Greek virgin.Copy !req
91. Voula, have something to eat
before you go to work.Copy !req
92. No.Copy !req
93. If nagging was an Olympic sport,
my Aunt Voula would have a gold medal.Copy !req
94. Taki, you couldn't wait for me?Copy !req
95. Sorry. Sorry.
— "Sorry. Sorry."Copy !req
96. Don't "sorry" me. Oh!Copy !req
97. Look at this. A rash.
Somebody gave me the mati.Copy !req
98. Put some Windex on it.
—Oh, Gus, please! Please!Copy !req
99. Voula, this works!Copy !req
100. Last night my toe was as big as my face.Copy !req
101. No.Copy !req
102. So why you not wait for me?Copy !req
103. 'Cause... he wants to talk.Copy !req
104. Anyway, I tell her...Copy !req
105. I will send her to Greece
to find somebody.Copy !req
106. She not too old.Copy !req
107. She's okay.Copy !req
108. In Greece... don't tell anyone
how old she is.Copy !req
109. Ah!
—She won't go!Copy !req
110. She won't go?
—It's like...Copy !req
111. she don't want to get married.Copy !req
112. Come on. We're gonna go see Uncle Nick.Copy !req
113. My sister married young and became
a Greek baby breeding machine.Copy !req
114. —Theo Nico! Theo Nico!Copy !req
115. Guys, come on. Get out.
—Just a quick coffee.Copy !req
116. I have to drop the boys off at hockey.
Then I gotta get to the Jewel.Copy !req
117. Hey. Panty hose are on for 99 cents.Copy !req
118. Then the priest is coming to bless
the new house, so I have to make diples.Copy !req
119. Can you believe it? I'm out of honey.
Put that back for me.Copy !req
120. I've had it, Angelo.
—Get off my back, Nikki.Copy !req
121. Angelo.
—Shut up, Nikki.Copy !req
122. Loud and louder.Copy !req
123. Your big—ass girlfriend.
Thanks, Toula.Copy !req
124. Sure.
—Hey, Toula. We're not that late.Copy !req
125. Angelo-
—Hi, everybody.Copy !req
126. Nikki, how come you no come
to curl my hairs this morning?Copy !req
127. Ma, I had to drop Thimo at work.Copy !req
128. Now I gotta go open the travel agency
because, you know, some jag-off...Copy !req
129. and his big—ass girlfriend are too busy.Copy !req
130. Ma, tell her I open
the dry cleaners every day.Copy !req
131. It's about time she did something.
—Do you know who's at the dry cleaner?Copy !req
132. You're always at the beauty parlor.
—My husband.Copy !req
133. Your nails and your hair.
—Don't you talk about my hair.Copy !req
134. You are so lazy. You and your
big—ass girlfriend do nothing!Copy !req
135. Did somebody sit on your hair?
It looks flat.Copy !req
136. Angelo, bite me.Copy !req
137. Be a lady.
—Ma!Copy !req
138. Aw. Angelo.Copy !req
139. Come on, boys. Let's go.Copy !req
140. Athena! When did you come?
—Hi, Ma. Bye, Ma.Copy !req
141. You're going?
—I'm going to the Jewel.Copy !req
142. I'll get you some panty hose.
—No queen size. They make me look fat.Copy !req
143. No more fun and games.
—Kosta did it.Copy !req
144. I didn't do it. Not me.Copy !req
145. Who put the menus there?Copy !req
146. Toula, what's this?Copy !req
147. Toula, what is this?Copy !req
148. I don't know.
—Mama! Mama!Copy !req
149. Mama!Copy !req
150. Come on. Don't forget.
I need diples and-Copy !req
151. And the pastitsio for the buffet.
You told me, Athena. Go. My God.Copy !req
152. Okay.
—Athena, go.Copy !req
153. - Okay.
- —We're never gonna go.Copy !req
154. Bye!Copy !req
155. I wanna drive.
—You're driving me crazy. Let's go.Copy !req
156. Watch your step. Don't run! Don't run.Copy !req
157. To me she look okay.
—Okay? What okay? "No—kay."Copy !req
158. She's not okay. Look.
Athena's married with three children.Copy !req
159. And I'll get married, Pops. I promise.Copy !req
160. You have plenty of time, Nico.Copy !req
161. And you'll always have Toula
to run the restaurant.Copy !req
162. It's true. Toula will never leave you.Copy !req
163. Here you go.
—Thank you.Copy !req
164. I wish I had a different life.Copy !req
165. I wish I was braver and prettier...Copy !req
166. or just happy.Copy !req
167. But it's useless to dream...Copy !req
168. because nothing ever changes.Copy !req
169. Hey. What's going on?
—Hi, man. How are ya?Copy !req
170. Good. You?
—Yeah. I'm good.Copy !req
171. Mmm, mmm.
—Cool place.Copy !req
172. Yeah. It's adorable.Copy !req
173. You missed a hell of a party
the other night.Copy !req
174. Oh! Look. Look at that.Copy !req
175. That could have been you
with that arm around her.Copy !req
176. You set me up with her already.Copy !req
177. Nancy?
—Henson's picnic.Copy !req
178. No. No. That was Pamela. This is Nancy.Copy !req
179. They look the same.Copy !req
180. Well, maybe.Copy !req
181. So you want me to set you up?Copy !req
182. They're all the same, Mike.Copy !req
183. Hi.
—Hi.Copy !req
184. Sorry. My brain.Copy !req
185. It stopped.
You ever have one of those days?Copy !req
186. It's like-going along
and it-stopped.Copy !req
187. Yeah. Here I am standing here,
your own private Greek statue.Copy !req
188. Could I get some more coffee, please?
—Sure.Copy !req
189. Thank you.Copy !req
190. All right.Copy !req
191. Here. Just have some of this.Copy !req
192. Ahhh. All right. Let's go.Copy !req
193. What do you mean? I just got here.
—I got a class though.Copy !req
194. I love the spice on these potatoes.
What is that?Copy !req
195. Like I care. Come on. Let's go.
Giving a pop quiz...Copy !req
196. and I can't wait to hear the groans.Copy !req
197. Man, you're tough. I'm giving a test
on Hamlet, but I gave fair warning.Copy !req
198. Hi.Copy !req
199. Keep the change.Copy !req
200. You like this, Pops? For the new menu?Copy !req
201. Where did you get that?Copy !req
202. I drew it, Dad.Copy !req
203. Dad.Copy !req
204. Dad.Copy !req
205. I've been going through our inventory...Copy !req
206. and I've noticed that we've been doing
a lot of unnecessary ordering.Copy !req
207. I've been thinking that maybe
we should update our system.Copy !req
208. Like, we could get a computer.Copy !req
209. Uh, I don't know if you remember,
but I got all A's in computers.Copy !req
210. But there's a lot of new stuff
to learn now, so, um, if you want...Copy !req
211. I could go to college
and take a few courses.Copy !req
212. Why-Copy !req
213. Why you want to leave me?Copy !req
214. I'm not leaving you. Don't you want me
to do something with my life?Copy !req
215. Yes! Get married. Make babies.Copy !req
216. You look so old!Copy !req
217. Toula.Copy !req
218. Toula. Come on, Toula.Copy !req
219. I know what you want.Copy !req
220. You have-how you say-
you have spirit, huh?Copy !req
221. You want to see things.
You want to learn.Copy !req
222. I know. You're from my side, huh?Copy !req
223. Come on. Don't you worry.
I'm gonna talk to him.Copy !req
224. Ma, Dad is so stubborn.
What he says goes.Copy !req
225. "The man is the head of the house."Copy !req
226. Let me tell you something, Toula.Copy !req
227. The man is the head,
but the woman is the neck...Copy !req
228. and she can turn the head...Copy !req
229. any way she wants, hmm?Copy !req
230. Oh, my baby.Copy !req
231. Don't cry. Don't cry. Come on.Copy !req
232. And what is wrong with Toula
going to school downtown?Copy !req
233. Is drugs downtown.
—What are you saying?Copy !req
234. Are you saying that Toula will get
involved with drugs?Copy !req
235. No, but somebody will say to her...Copy !req
236. "Take this bag down to the bus depot,"
and she'll do it.Copy !req
237. She is not stupid. She's smart.Copy !req
238. I know she's smart.
So what for she needs more school?Copy !req
239. She's smart enough for a girl.
—Oh!Copy !req
240. You think you're smarter than me, huh?Copy !req
241. No. I mean-You know-
—What?Copy !req
242. What you mean? I run the restaurant...Copy !req
243. I cook, I clean, I wash for you...Copy !req
244. and I raise three kids.Copy !req
245. And I teach Sunday school.Copy !req
246. You know? It's lucky for me
I have you to tie my shoes.Copy !req
247. Ah!Copy !req
248. Maria.Copy !req
249. Yes.Copy !req
250. Excuse me. Is this seat taken?Copy !req
251. Oh, sure.Copy !req
252. Hi.Copy !req
253. Doing great. That's what
I want to talk to you about actually.Copy !req
254. Listen. I'm not-Look at you.
What are you talking about?Copy !req
255. What? My butt is too big.
I don't like my butt.Copy !req
256. Taki likes it.
—Okay. Don't. Listen.Copy !req
257. I'm not gonna pretend travel business
is something I've always wanted to do.Copy !req
258. I'm not gonna pretend that. But
what I'm saying is that it's different.Copy !req
259. You know I've been learning
about computers.Copy !req
260. There's this course. It's a seminar.Copy !req
261. It's all about computers and tourism.Copy !req
262. All the latest applications and
programs. I could apply it here, Thea.Copy !req
263. Your business would double.
It would triple.Copy !req
264. You could be with Theo more.
You could take a vacation.Copy !req
265. I could book it for you.
Thea, would you hire me?Copy !req
266. Of course.Copy !req
267. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
—Oh.Copy !req
268. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry.Copy !req
269. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.Copy !req
270. We must let Kosta think
this was his idea.Copy !req
271. I know.
—That he came up with it.Copy !req
272. He's gonna figure it out.
—Don't you worry.Copy !req
273. I know what to do.
—You don't know. You talk.Copy !req
274. Do you want my help?
—Yes.Copy !req
275. Tell me what to say.
But don't tell me what to say.Copy !req
276. Perfect.
—That's good.Copy !req
277. So, Voula, how is business?Copy !req
278. Oh, woe to me. Business is bad.Copy !req
279. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
—What's the matter? What's happened?Copy !req
280. Do you need money?
—No, no, no.Copy !req
281. What she means is that
with the two businesses she suffers.Copy !req
282. She suffers?
—She suffers.Copy !req
283. She has to be
at the travel agency alone all day...Copy !req
284. because everybody else needs to be
working at the big dry—cleaning store.Copy !req
285. That's right. I make Taki
go to the dry cleaner store...Copy !req
286. and now I have no time with him.Copy !req
287. So? Send Angelo or Nikki
to the travel agency.Copy !req
288. You be with Taki at the dry cleaner.Copy !req
289. That would be good.
—That would be no good.Copy !req
290. No good?
—No good. No good.Copy !req
291. Because, um, neither Angelo or Nikki
know how to use the computer.Copy !req
292. - That's why that no work.
- —No work.Copy !req
293. Computer. Hmm.Copy !req
294. Ah! I have your answer.Copy !req
295. Yeah?Copy !req
296. Toula will go to the travel agency,
and you send Nikki here to work for us.Copy !req
297. Oh. I-I can't believe that.Copy !req
298. Wonderful.Copy !req
299. Oh, wonderful!
—You see? A man-Copy !req
300. Yes.Copy !req
301. You saved the day.
—You're so smart. Gus. Gus! Oh, Gus!Copy !req
302. Hello, Mrs. Kristakis.
Thanks for holding.Copy !req
303. Okay, your request flew up confirmed,
so it is now PNR'd.Copy !req
304. Okay. Hold again, please.Copy !req
305. Hi. British Airways. Hi. I'm gonna need
a hard tick on that one. Yeah.Copy !req
306. Reading-Alpha, Bravo, Foxtrot, Charlie.
Roger. Copy that.Copy !req
307. Hi, Mrs. Kristakis. Your tickets are now
in the mail under "Doreen Kristakis."Copy !req
308. Okay. Thank you. Bye—bye.Copy !req
309. Got the time? The time.Copy !req
310. Come on down.Copy !req
311. You're the next contestant
on The Price Is Right.Copy !req
312. I got it.Copy !req
313. Did you lose this?Copy !req
314. Bloodthirsty Turks.Copy !req
315. Ah, Mrs. White, you find my mama again!Copy !req
316. You know, she come from Greece,
the country I come from.Copy !req
317. For God's sake, I know. Listen.
Keep your mother off my lawn...Copy !req
318. out of my basement
and away from my roof.Copy !req
319. Mrs. White, come on.
Give me a word-any word-Copy !req
320. and I show you that the root
of that word-Copy !req
321. is Greek.Copy !req
322. Look, everybody.
Look who's back again.Copy !req
323. Hi, Yiayia.
—Sit down, Yiayia. Very good.Copy !req
324. Toula, there are two kinds of people-Copy !req
325. Greeks and everybody else
who wish they was Greek.Copy !req
326. Okay. Yes. We know.Copy !req
327. What's the matter with her?Copy !req
328. Hi. Mount Olympus Travel Agency.
May I help you?Copy !req
329. Sure. That's what we do.Copy !req
330. What are you doing? Hey!Copy !req
331. - Absolutely. Uh, right.
- —Hey! Sorry, lady.Copy !req
332. Um, sure. Well, what you can do
is you can book it now.Copy !req
333. I could reserve the seat for you.
Be with you in a second.Copy !req
334. No problem. Call me back
when you're ready to book.Copy !req
335. Thank you. Bye—bye.Copy !req
336. Hi.Copy !req
337. Hi.Copy !req
338. Did you want to see some brochures?Copy !req
339. Found 'em.Copy !req
340. How about this?
—No.Copy !req
341. And then whoosh.Copy !req
342. You were gone. I thought you fainted.Copy !req
343. Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
344. I was swept off my feet
by your very cool opening line of "Hi."Copy !req
345. Oh. Hmm.Copy !req
346. So, Toula.Copy !req
347. Ian.Copy !req
348. Ian Miller.Copy !req
349. Mmm.Copy !req
350. Toula "Porkypakis"?Copy !req
351. Portokalos. Portokalos.Copy !req
352. Okay. Toula.
—All right then.Copy !req
353. Was that a biker fight or a nose job?Copy !req
354. Oh.Copy !req
355. Yeah.Copy !req
356. No, really.Copy !req
357. You don't want to know.Copy !req
358. I don't know about that.
If I survived...Copy !req
359. an old lady ass—kicking,
I think I'd brag about it.Copy !req
360. Oh.
—Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
361. Hey. Jesus. Ouch.Copy !req
362. You want to have dinner with me?
—Yeah.Copy !req
363. Actually, I wasn't
in education first. I was prelaw.Copy !req
364. My dad's a lawyer,
and my grandfather's a lawyer...Copy !req
365. and, um, just wasn't for me,
so picked a new major.Copy !req
366. The parents weren't too pleased.
You know?Copy !req
367. Yeah.Copy !req
368. I think it, um-Copy !req
369. I think it takes
a pretty strong person to do that.Copy !req
370. You know everything about me. I'm
a pretty strong vegetarian teacher...Copy !req
371. over at Lincoln Park, and...Copy !req
372. I don't know anything about you,
except you're Greek.Copy !req
373. Hey.Copy !req
374. Would you like to go have Greek food?Copy !req
375. That's okay.Copy !req
376. No, I know this really great place.
You probably know it. Zorba's something.Copy !req
377. Um, anyway, I'd like to take you there
if you'd like to go.Copy !req
378. I don't want to go there.
—What do you mean? Why not?Copy !req
379. Um, that place-Dancing Zorba's-Copy !req
380. Dancing Zorba's.Copy !req
381. Um, my family owns that restaurant.Copy !req
382. Really?Copy !req
383. I remember you.Copy !req
384. You're that waitress.Copy !req
385. Seating hostess actually.Copy !req
386. I remember you.Copy !req
387. I was kind of going through a phase...Copy !req
388. up till now...Copy !req
389. and, uh...Copy !req
390. I was frump girl.Copy !req
391. I don't remember frump girl,
but I remember you.Copy !req
392. Okay. No Greek.
Uh, Italian, tomorrow night?Copy !req
393. Okay.Copy !req
394. Where are you going?Copy !req
395. I'm taking a pottery class.Copy !req
396. The Greeks invented pottery.Copy !req
397. Hmm.Copy !req
398. It's crazy, right?Copy !req
399. It's just me all alone...Copy !req
400. up in the mountains in this cottage
with my parents all summer.Copy !req
401. Well, don't all your cousins go up too?Copy !req
402. No. I only have
two cousins. They live in Wisconsin.Copy !req
403. You only have two cousins?
—Yeah.Copy !req
404. How many do you have?
—More than two.Copy !req
405. Well, who else? Do you have brothers
and sisters? What are your parents like?Copy !req
406. Uh-Copy !req
407. What?Copy !req
408. Well-Copy !req
409. Okay. Christmas. What do you do
for Christmas with your family?Copy !req
410. Uh, my mom makes roast lamb.
—Ooh. With mint jelly?Copy !req
411. No.Copy !req
412. And?Copy !req
413. And-Copy !req
414. I'm Greek, right?
—Right.Copy !req
415. What happens is my dad and uncles fight
over who gets to eat the lamb brain.Copy !req
416. Then my Aunt Voula forks the eyeball
and chases me around...Copy !req
417. trying to get me to eat it
'cause it's gonna make me smart.Copy !req
418. You have two cousins. I have 27 first
cousins. Just 27 first cousins alone.Copy !req
419. My whole family is big and loud.Copy !req
420. Everybody's in each other's lives
and business all the time.Copy !req
421. You never just have
a minute alone to think...Copy !req
422. 'cause we're always together
just eating, eating, eating.Copy !req
423. The only other people we know are
Greeks. 'Cause Greeks marry Greeks...Copy !req
424. to breed more Greeks
to be loud, breeding Greek eaters.Copy !req
425. Wow.
—I'm serious.Copy !req
426. No one in my family has ever gone out
with a non—Greek before. No one.Copy !req
427. And you're-Copy !req
428. You're-Oh, God.
You're just, you know, wonderful.Copy !req
429. But I just don't see how
this is gonna work out.Copy !req
430. So-Copy !req
431. Work out? What's to work out?Copy !req
432. We're not a different species. Yes,
we come from different backgrounds...Copy !req
433. and, hey, here's some news about
my life to this point: It's boring.Copy !req
434. Then I met you, and you're interesting,
and you're beautiful and fun and-Copy !req
435. You've got a weird family. Who doesn't?Copy !req
436. You know?Copy !req
437. I just want to spend some time with you.Copy !req
438. I just want to spend
a little time with you.Copy !req
439. Did you say I'm beautiful?Copy !req
440. Yes.Copy !req
441. - Which house is yours?
- —Uh, this is good actually.Copy !req
442. Stop.
—Sure.Copy !req
443. Right here is good. Just stop.Copy !req
444. Thanks.Copy !req
445. Good night.Copy !req
446. Good night.Copy !req
447. Good night.
—What?Copy !req
448. Good night.Copy !req
449. Okay. Good night.
—What?Copy !req
450. No, no, no. Don't go.Copy !req
451. Good night.Copy !req
452. Don't go.Copy !req
453. And I can make a man out of youCopy !req
454. 'Cause I'm a womanCopy !req
455. W—O—M—A—NCopy !req
456. Ah, happy again today, Toula, huh?Copy !req
457. Yeah.Copy !req
458. Now every time I see you,
you have a great, big smile.Copy !req
459. Hey, Ma.
—Hey, Nico.Copy !req
460. Where'd you go?
—Nowhere.Copy !req
461. What did you do?
—Nothing.Copy !req
462. Who did you see?
—No one.Copy !req
463. Wait a minute.
Nico, I put them in your room.Copy !req
464. Toula, your class. How is your class?Copy !req
465. My pottery class?
—Uh—huh.Copy !req
466. It's great.
—Good. Good.Copy !req
467. You've gotta get out of here.
—Just one more kiss and I'll go. Mmm.Copy !req
468. No.Copy !req
469. Mmm.Copy !req
470. What is going on?Copy !req
471. Mr. Pottery Class. Nice to meet ya.Copy !req
472. Ian, this is my Cousin Nikki.Copy !req
473. Oh. Hello.Copy !req
474. It's nice to finally meet
a member of Toula's family.Copy !req
475. Yeah, well-Copy !req
476. I'm the least of your worries.
Listen. The family knows.Copy !req
477. Last night,
Vicki Pavalopolis saw you...Copy !req
478. sucking the lips off his head
in the Denny's parking lot.Copy !req
479. She told her ma, who told my ma,
who told your ma-Copy !req
480. Let me put it this way. You're busted.Copy !req
481. Sneak around all over Chicago...Copy !req
482. but you never come here to ask me,
can you date my daughter?Copy !req
483. Well, I'm sorry.Copy !req
484. Ask you if I can date your daughter?
Sir, she's 30 years old.Copy !req
485. I am the head of this house.Copy !req
486. Okay. May I please date your daughter?Copy !req
487. No!Copy !req
488. I'll see you tomorrow.
—See you tomorrow.Copy !req
489. Oh, boy.
—Excuse me.Copy !req
490. Didn't I say...Copy !req
491. is a mistake to educate women?Copy !req
492. But nobody listen to me.Copy !req
493. Now we have a boyfriend in the house.Copy !req
494. Is he a nice Greek boy?Copy !req
495. Oh, oh, no, no Greek.Copy !req
496. No Greek. A kseno.Copy !req
497. A keno with the big long hairs
on top of his head.Copy !req
498. Kosta.Copy !req
499. I'm sorry I lied to you.Copy !req
500. Okay, Toula.Copy !req
501. Maybe you are having a little romance.Copy !req
502. Hmm?Copy !req
503. But end it now.Copy !req
504. I love him.Copy !req
505. Oh, Toula, eat something.Copy !req
506. Please.Copy !req
507. Your father has a friend for dinner.Copy !req
508. What's this? Where are we?Copy !req
509. My apartment.Copy !req
510. You want to go up?Copy !req
511. Well, this is it.Copy !req
512. Hmm.Copy !req
513. Don't worry. They're gonna love you.Copy !req
514. Toula. Now that's not a name
you hear every day.Copy !req
515. Does it mean anything in your language?Copy !req
516. Well, my Greek name, "Fotoula,"
means "light of God."Copy !req
517. Oh. Who would like a coffee?Copy !req
518. Hmm.Copy !req
519. So you're Greek then, huh?
What's your, uh-What's your last name?Copy !req
520. Portokalos.Copy !req
521. In Greek it means "orange."Copy !req
522. Like an orange that you eat.
Like the one with the peel.Copy !req
523. Not the color. Peeling.
—Oh.Copy !req
524. Yeah, it's really Greek.Copy !req
525. Rodney, didn't you once have
a Greek receptionist?Copy !req
526. No. No, Harriet. She was, uh-Copy !req
527. Oh. Just a minute.
—Oh, no, no. She was Armenian.Copy !req
528. Is Armenia close to Greece?
—Not exactly.Copy !req
529. What was she?
—Who?Copy !req
530. My secretary, for heaven's sake.
—Oh, everyone like cheesecake?Copy !req
531. Mmm! Guatemalan.Copy !req
532. That's right, dear. She was Guatemalan.
—Yep.Copy !req
533. I love you.Copy !req
534. I love you.Copy !req
535. I don't-Copy !req
536. I don't know how to say this.Copy !req
537. What?Copy !req
538. Will you marry me?Copy !req
539. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
540. Yeah!
What are you doing?Copy !req
541. 'Cause now you can have this.Copy !req
542. Come here.Copy !req
543. Enough.Copy !req
544. Enough!Copy !req
545. What? Don't you walk away from me.Copy !req
546. Sit down.Copy !req
547. Kosta, they love each other.Copy !req
548. It's—It's done.Copy !req
549. How?Copy !req
550. How can she do this to me?Copy !req
551. Oh.Copy !req
552. She didn't do this to you or to me.Copy !req
553. They fell in love. It—It happens.Copy !req
554. Is he a good boy? I don't know.Copy !req
555. Is h—he from a good family?Copy !req
556. I don't know.Copy !req
557. Does he-Is he respectful?
I don't know.Copy !req
558. I don't know. I don't know
because nobody talk to me...Copy !req
559. about nothing no more.Copy !req
560. A respectful boy would come here
and ask for my permission.Copy !req
561. My daughter engaged to a kseno.Copy !req
562. I always think
she's gonna be married...Copy !req
563. in the Greek Orthodox Church.Copy !req
564. Why is she doing this to me?Copy !req
565. And leaves space.Copy !req
566. Sometimes that space is so big
that the roof can't support itself...Copy !req
567. so it collapses-Copy !req
568. Uh, excuse me.Copy !req
569. Try not to be too loud.Copy !req
570. Hi.Copy !req
571. Hi.
—Hi.Copy !req
572. What's-What's going on?Copy !req
573. Are you okay?Copy !req
574. Can we go to Vegas?
—What?Copy !req
575. Go to Niagara Falls.
How 'bout Fiji?Copy !req
576. Wanna go to Fiji?
—Sure.Copy !req
577. Okay. Let's go. Come on.
Let's just go.Copy !req
578. Hey, hey. Come here.
What's the matter?Copy !req
579. I just feel like we can't get married-Copy !req
580. not like this.Copy !req
581. It's like when I'm with you...Copy !req
582. I am so happy...Copy !req
583. but my family is so unhappy.Copy !req
584. And our wedding should be
this joyous thing.Copy !req
585. But it won't be for them
because it can't be at our church.Copy !req
586. So let's just go somewhere.
Please, let's just go. Let's just go.Copy !req
587. Hey. I love you.Copy !req
588. Why?Copy !req
589. Why do you love me?Copy !req
590. Because I came alive
when I met you.Copy !req
591. But my family.Copy !req
592. You're a part of your family...Copy !req
593. and I'll do anything-Copy !req
594. whatever it takes-
to get them to accept me.Copy !req
595. 'Cause you're my life now.
You're my whole life now.Copy !req
596. We're not gonna skulk off
and get married...Copy !req
597. as if we're ashamed of ourselves.Copy !req
598. Okay?Copy !req
599. Did you say "skulk"?Copy !req
600. Stop.
—Let's just skulk off somewhere.Copy !req
601. Now, talk to him. Toula loves him.Copy !req
602. Do it for Toula. Come on.Copy !req
603. Oh!
—Come on.Copy !req
604. He wants to get married in the church.Copy !req
605. Go. Go.
—All right.Copy !req
606. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
607. So...Copy !req
608. you're gonna be baptized
tomorrow, huh?Copy !req
609. Yeah.Copy !req
610. Is your lucky day to be baptized
in the Greek Orthodox Church.Copy !req
611. Nikki gonna be your godmother.Copy !req
612. You know...Copy !req
613. the word "baptism"...Copy !req
614. —come from the Greek word...Copy !req
615. vaptisia.Copy !req
616. That where we dip the baby
in a beautiful little silver basin.Copy !req
617. It's not so bad, huh?Copy !req
618. Are you kidding?Copy !req
619. Any minute now
he's gonna look at me and go...Copy !req
620. "Right. You're so not worth this."Copy !req
621. Yes, you are.Copy !req
622. You're all oily.Copy !req
623. I'm Greek now.Copy !req
624. Thank you so much.Copy !req
625. Thank you.Copy !req
626. So for happy Easter,
we say Hristos Anesti.Copy !req
627. Then the other person says back,
Alithos Anesti.Copy !req
628. So if you want to say Happy Easter,
you go Hristos Anesti.Copy !req
629. So try it.Copy !req
630. Hristos Anesti.Copy !req
631. That's good.Copy !req
632. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
633. Hmm.
—Uh-Copy !req
634. Mr. Portokalos.
Hristos Anesti.Copy !req
635. When my people were writing philosophy...Copy !req
636. your people were still swinging from trees.Copy !req
637. He likes you.
—Oh, yeah?Copy !req
638. Mm—hmm.Copy !req
639. I told you to watch the boys!Copy !req
640. Athena, ase me.
They'll be fine with the video games.Copy !req
641. You'll turn their brains to mush.
—I can't do anything right.Copy !req
642. Ian, if you're gonna be in this family,
I get you some earplugs...Copy !req
643. because the Portokalos women, if
they're not nagging somebody, they die!Copy !req
644. Oh, you're in so much trouble
when I tell my sister.Copy !req
645. Tell me what?Copy !req
646. Where is he? Where?
Let me see him! Toula!Copy !req
647. Hristos Anesti.Copy !req
648. Toula, you're engaged!
You're engaged!Copy !req
649. We never think it could happen for you.
Never!Copy !req
650. Never!Copy !req
651. Didn't we say that?
—We never think this day would come.Copy !req
652. Never! And it came.Copy !req
653. Is this him?Copy !req
654. Yes. Sorry. Everyone, this is Ian.Copy !req
655. Ian!Copy !req
656. Christ is risen for sure
if Toula found a husband.Copy !req
657. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
658. Opa!Copy !req
659. Hello, Ian!Copy !req
660. Thank you.Copy !req
661. Opa!Copy !req
662. Well?Copy !req
663. I want to see the rock.Copy !req
664. Hey, Ian.
—Hey.Copy !req
665. You like that dance?
—Oh, yeah.Copy !req
666. Okay. Jennie has something
she wants to ask you.Copy !req
667. No. She does.
—Shut up! Go ask her.Copy !req
668. Jennie, just ask me.
—Does he have any brothers?Copy !req
669. No. He's an only child.Copy !req
670. You know, I gotta tell you,
I've never seen my sister so happy.Copy !req
671. Oh.Copy !req
672. If you hurt her, I'll kill you
and make it look like an accident.Copy !req
673. Hey, Ian. Geez. Look at your face.
It's just a joke.Copy !req
674. It's just a joke.
—Good one.Copy !req
675. No, the good one is I got a gun.Copy !req
676. Yeah. I got a gun, and I swear,
I'll jam it right up your ear.Copy !req
677. And I got you again.
Got you again, Ian!Copy !req
678. Here, eat some rice.
—I don't want any-Copy !req
679. I'm good. I'm good.
—Always "I'm good."Copy !req
680. I could snap you like a chicken.Copy !req
681. Come on. Lighten up. Lighten up.
I'll lighten you.Copy !req
682. I'll lighten you
when I take out your kidneys.Copy !req
683. Oh!Copy !req
684. One more time, Ian.Copy !req
685. Hey, Angelo!
—Hey, Ian! We're gonna kill ya.Copy !req
686. Opa!Copy !req
687. Whoa!Copy !req
688. Opa!Copy !req
689. Yay!Copy !req
690. Opa!Copy !req
691. Ian, I'm Voula.Copy !req
692. Let me touch your hair.Copy !req
693. Let me-Copy !req
694. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
695. Okay. Thea Voula?Copy !req
696. —Thea Voula? Okay.
—Yes. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
697. When you come to my house,
I cook for you.Copy !req
698. Okay.
—Oh, that might be a problem.Copy !req
699. What problem? I'm the best
cook in the family. Tell him.Copy !req
700. Oh, I did. Didn't I?
—Twice.Copy !req
701. Okay then.
—Oh.Copy !req
702. Um, it's just, uh-Copy !req
703. Thea, Ian is a vegetarian.Copy !req
704. He doesn't eat meat.Copy !req
705. He don't eat no meat?Copy !req
706. No, he doesn't eat meat.Copy !req
707. What do you mean,
he don't eat no meat?Copy !req
708. Oh, that's okay. That's okay.
I make lamb. Come.Copy !req
709. Come. Come. Dance!Copy !req
710. I'm sorry.Copy !req
711. Opa!Copy !req
712. Greek. You watch. Greek.Copy !req
713. Ah! Ooh!Copy !req
714. Oh!Copy !req
715. Silence.Copy !req
716. Hmm?Copy !req
717. It's delicious.Copy !req
718. Oh.Copy !req
719. We took a look at my calendar,
and, uh-our calendar-Copy !req
720. set a day for the big day...Copy !req
721. sometime at the end of October,
mid—November.Copy !req
722. Sometime in there, yeah.
—Oh, wonderful.Copy !req
723. I'll call the club
and see what's open.Copy !req
724. The club?Copy !req
725. The North Shore Country Club.
For the wedding, of course.Copy !req
726. Oh, we're gonna get married
in Toula's church...Copy !req
727. 'cause we're not very religious,
and her family is.Copy !req
728. Really is.Copy !req
729. Show 'em the brochure.Copy !req
730. Oh, that. Yeah.Copy !req
731. My Cousin Nikki made me this.Copy !req
732. She tends to save things.
This is from her prom.Copy !req
733. She makes lamps and, uh-Copy !req
734. Tell 'em about-
We got this great big hall.Copy !req
735. What's it called? For the reception.
—Aphrodite's Palace.Copy !req
736. It's, uh, not really a palace.Copy !req
737. Here's the brochure.Copy !req
738. The, uh-That Parthenon backdrop,
that's optional.Copy !req
739. Yes, yes, my dear,
we'll invite the Dimakopoulos.Copy !req
740. We have to invite
the Dimakopoulos.Copy !req
741. They're cousins!Copy !req
742. Dad, the thing is
that we just want to keep it small.Copy !req
743. It's like you'd rather go bankrupt
than insult anyone from the church.Copy !req
744. Toula, I come to this country...Copy !req
745. with eight dollars in my pocket...Copy !req
746. to make all this for you.Copy !req
747. And... who knows...Copy !req
748. how long I'm gonna be alive?Copy !req
749. - Let me see the list.
- —Let go of my arm!Copy !req
750. Okay. Okay! Come on! Okay.Copy !req
751. Time out. Time out!
No more punching Theo Nico's nads, okay?Copy !req
752. Stop hitting Theo Nico.Copy !req
753. Look at you-how big you are.Copy !req
754. Boys, come on.
Soccer practice. Let's go.Copy !req
755. Did she spit on him?
—Go on. Go outside with your father.Copy !req
756. Yeah. It's for good luck.
Keeps the devil away.Copy !req
757. - Oh.
- —Bye! Wait for me!Copy !req
758. Dad?Copy !req
759. Where you get that?Copy !req
760. I drew it, Dad, for the new menu.
Remember?Copy !req
761. Huh.Copy !req
762. Ma, I'm hungry.
—Okay, Nico.Copy !req
763. Ian, are you hungry?Copy !req
764. Ah, no. I already ate.Copy !req
765. Okay. I make you something.Copy !req
766. Okay.Copy !req
767. Now, Toula, we have to have
Tommy Kasimatis.Copy !req
768. Hey, let me help you with those.Copy !req
769. What is wrong with Tommy Kasimatis?
—I don't know them.Copy !req
770. Who cares? They're related to me.
—Why are you being so weird?Copy !req
771. I'm not being weird.
—Yes, you are.Copy !req
772. Ooh! Aah, aah, aah.Copy !req
773. Ian, eat, eat!Copy !req
774. How do you say "thank you" in Greek?Copy !req
775. That's it. You got it.Copy !req
776. Nice boobs.Copy !req
777. What?Copy !req
778. Dad?Copy !req
779. Hey, Toula.
—Yeah?Copy !req
780. I got the greatest connection
for your invitations.Copy !req
781. No, Nick. We're gonna order
our own invitations, okay?Copy !req
782. I don't want something
your cash—only connection gets us...Copy !req
783. that falls off a truck.Copy !req
784. But they come through, right?
—For God's sake, let the man talk.Copy !req
785. Why are you always so stubborn?
—Athena, I'm not stubborn.Copy !req
786. Girls, I ordered the invitations...Copy !req
787. two weeks ago.Copy !req
788. Ma, I never saw a wedding invitation.Copy !req
789. I go get them.Copy !req
790. Wait till you see them!
—Ma!Copy !req
791. Oh!Copy !req
792. Bravo.Copy !req
793. Um, my parents' names
are Rodney and Harriet.Copy !req
794. "Rodney and Harry"?Copy !req
795. Rodney and Harry.Copy !req
796. Rodney and Harry.Copy !req
797. Hey, Ian, I didn't notice,
so I bet they won't.Copy !req
798. Ya sas, everybody!
Hi, Yiayia.Copy !req
799. Wait. I have got the biggest scoop.Copy !req
800. Look at the earrings I have found
that match the bridesmaids' dresses.Copy !req
801. How beautiful!Copy !req
802. I remembered, we have
a customer at the dry cleaners...Copy !req
803. who's a custom jewelry designer.Copy !req
804. So, I showed her the fabric.Copy !req
805. Wait. What do these match?
Not that fabric you showed me last week.Copy !req
806. You said you liked it.Copy !req
807. I said I'd think about it.
—That's just because...Copy !req
808. you couldn't visualize it.Copy !req
809. Nikki!
—Oh, you're so beautiful.Copy !req
810. - You don't have to do a thing.
- —That's classy.Copy !req
811. I went by the college
and picked this up.Copy !req
812. Look.Copy !req
813. I'm gonna start slowly, you know,
do a couple of night courses.Copy !req
814. You know, I just wanted to learn
more about painting...Copy !req
815. and art and stuff, so-Copy !req
816. This is so great.Copy !req
817. Yeah. You started it.Copy !req
818. You wanted to do something else,
Toula...Copy !req
819. and you did it.Copy !req
820. Hey, Toula?Copy !req
821. Don't let your past
dictate who you are...Copy !req
822. but let it be part
of who you will become.Copy !req
823. Nick, that is so beautiful.Copy !req
824. Yeah.Copy !req
825. That Dear Abby, she really knows
what she's talking about.Copy !req
826. Hello.
—Hi, Ma. It's me. Tikanis?Copy !req
827. Kala.Copy !req
828. All right. Um, Ian's gonna
come pick me up...Copy !req
829. and then we are gonna go
and get his parents...Copy !req
830. and then we're gonna be there
in one hour, okay?Copy !req
831. Good. Good.
—Okay.Copy !req
832. Is everything okay? What are you doing?
—I peel the potatoes.Copy !req
833. What are you peeling potatoes for?
I peeled some.Copy !req
834. I know, but we need more.
—How much are you cooking?Copy !req
835. It's a lot of people.
—There's three of them.Copy !req
836. And us.Copy !req
837. That makes seven.Copy !req
838. And the family.Copy !req
839. The family?
You invited the whole family?Copy !req
840. Of course!Copy !req
841. Ma, I said come for a quiet dinner
and meet my parents.Copy !req
842. They might as well meet
the whole family, right?Copy !req
843. Maria.
—I gotta go.Copy !req
844. Taki's here. Bye.Copy !req
845. I'm coming!Copy !req
846. Ahh!Copy !req
847. Look! Bravo! Bravo!Copy !req
848. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
849. Okay. Hurry. Put it on the spit.Copy !req
850. It's them! They're here!Copy !req
851. Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me, please.Copy !req
852. Welcome to my home.Copy !req
853. Um, over here is my brother Ted
and his wife Melissa...Copy !req
854. and their children,
Anita, Diane and Nick.Copy !req
855. Over here, my brother Tommy.Copy !req
856. His wife Angie and their children,
Anita, Diane and Nick.Copy !req
857. And here, my brother George,
his wife Freida...Copy !req
858. and their children,
Anita, Diane and Nick.Copy !req
859. Taki, Sophie, Kari...Copy !req
860. Nick, Nick, Nick...Copy !req
861. Nick, Nick and Nick, Nick.Copy !req
862. Eh, Nikki.
—Hi.Copy !req
863. And I am Gus.Copy !req
864. Aw!Copy !req
865. They're here? Well, where?Copy !req
866. Excuse me!Copy !req
867. Oh! Hello!Copy !req
868. Oh.Copy !req
869. I am Maria Portokalos...Copy !req
870. and welcome, welcome to our home.Copy !req
871. Thank you. What is it?Copy !req
872. It's a Bundt.Copy !req
873. A bun?Copy !req
874. Bundt.Copy !req
875. Bun. Bunk.Copy !req
876. Bundt.Copy !req
877. Bun... t.Copy !req
878. Bundt!Copy !req
879. Bundt!
—T—T—T—T.Copy !req
880. Oh.Copy !req
881. It's a cake! Hello!Copy !req
882. Thank you.
Thank you very, very much.Copy !req
883. There's a hole in this cake.Copy !req
884. These are some of my cousins.Copy !req
885. Hey, Ian.
—Hey.Copy !req
886. Good to see you, man.
Listen. You know...Copy !req
887. I really think you should say-Copy !req
888. It means, "Everyone,
let's come in the house."Copy !req
889. I think everybody will really like it.Copy !req
890. That's good. Very good. You got it.Copy !req
891. I'm not falling for that again, Nick.Copy !req
892. What?
—Yeah. "What"?Copy !req
893. Angelo.Copy !req
894. How do you say,
"Everyone, let's go in the house"?Copy !req
895. Hmm?Copy !req
896. Everyone!Copy !req
897. I have three testicles.Copy !req
898. Oh, you're in so much trouble!Copy !req
899. This is from Mykonos.Copy !req
900. Beautiful island.Copy !req
901. See that? That's where we from.Copy !req
902. Oh.
—You like 'em?Copy !req
903. I make 'em.Copy !req
904. Oh.Copy !req
905. Come. Sit down. Go, go.
Sit, sit. Come. Come.Copy !req
906. Go. Go now.Copy !req
907. - Sit down. Sit down.
- —Thank you.Copy !req
908. Sit down. Oh.Copy !req
909. Now you are family. Okay.Copy !req
910. All my life...Copy !req
911. I had a lump at the back
of my neck, right here.Copy !req
912. Always a lump.Copy !req
913. Then I start the menopause,
and the lump got bigger.Copy !req
914. From the hormones, it started to grow.Copy !req
915. So I go to the doctor,
and he did the biop-Copy !req
916. the bop-the bios-Copy !req
917. the bop-the bibopsy.Copy !req
918. Inside the lump...Copy !req
919. he found teeth and a spinal column.Copy !req
920. Yes, inside the lump...Copy !req
921. was my twin.Copy !req
922. Ugh.Copy !req
923. Spanakopita!Copy !req
924. You hungry?Copy !req
925. Oh, well, thank you.Copy !req
926. They just got here. Let them settle in.Copy !req
927. I love it when you speak in Greek.Copy !req
928. Really?
—It's sexy.Copy !req
929. Having a good time?Copy !req
930. All right. Come on.Copy !req
931. Rodney, Harry. Ouzo.Copy !req
932. Thank you.Copy !req
933. Mmm. Mmm.Copy !req
934. That's licorice.Copy !req
935. It's delicious.Copy !req
936. Stin iyia sas.Copy !req
937. —Stin iyia sas.
—Stin iyia sas.Copy !req
938. —Opa!
—Opa!Copy !req
939. Another.Copy !req
940. You're Greek now. Don't be shy.Copy !req
941. —- lyia sas.
- —Stin iyia sas.Copy !req
942. —lyia sas.
—Oh.Copy !req
943. Opa!Copy !req
944. Opa!Copy !req
945. Opa!Copy !req
946. Thank you.Copy !req
947. Don't worry. I'll be back.Copy !req
948. Oh, look! It's Yiayia.Copy !req
949. The meat is here, everybody.Copy !req
950. The meat. Very good. Very good.Copy !req
951. You like some meat?
Some Greek meat.Copy !req
952. Very good. Very good? Eh?Copy !req
953. Right?Copy !req
954. All right. Eh-Copy !req
955. All right. Meat, everybody?Copy !req
956. Oh, Gus!Copy !req
957. Coming through. Coming through.Copy !req
958. Oh!Copy !req
959. And now, the Bundt cake.Copy !req
960. You fixed it!Copy !req
961. I try. You try.Copy !req
962. We all nice to them.
You see it.Copy !req
963. And they look at us
like we're from the zoo.Copy !req
964. Kosta, please.Copy !req
965. This no work.
This no work, Maria.Copy !req
966. They—They-They different people.Copy !req
967. So dry.Copy !req
968. That family is like a piece of toast.Copy !req
969. No honey, no jam. Just dry.Copy !req
970. My daughter-My daughter...Copy !req
971. gonna marry Ian Miller...Copy !req
972. a kseno-a kseno
with a toast family.Copy !req
973. Shh.Copy !req
974. I never think this can happen to us.Copy !req
975. I tried to put a little marmalade.Copy !req
976. Oh, ho! No. They don't like that.Copy !req
977. They like themselves
all dry and cracking.Copy !req
978. And in Toula's church, the best man's
actually part of the ceremony.Copy !req
979. He's gotta be Greek Orthodox, so...Copy !req
980. I can't ask you to be my best man,
although technically you are.Copy !req
981. Whoa, whoa. You were gonna
ask me to be your best man?Copy !req
982. Well, yeah.Copy !req
983. I am touched.Copy !req
984. I- I had no idea
you had so few friends.Copy !req
985. You know, that's okay.Copy !req
986. Just get me a little badge
that says "best man" or something.Copy !req
987. That'll be fine.Copy !req
988. No offense, but this girl's family's
got you by the short ones, huh?Copy !req
989. I mean, they say "jump,"
and you pull out the trampoline.Copy !req
990. Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
991. My life is shit.Copy !req
992. Hey, Mike.
Toula's got a lot of cousins.Copy !req
993. Fix ya up.Copy !req
994. Yeah. That's gonna happen.Copy !req
995. Toula.Copy !req
996. What is wrong?Copy !req
997. All right.Copy !req
998. Is my marriage killing Dad?Copy !req
999. Toula, your father is your father.Copy !req
1000. He just wants you to be happy.Copy !req
1001. But I am happy.Copy !req
1002. Ah.Copy !req
1003. Listen to me, Toula.Copy !req
1004. My village saw many wars.Copy !req
1005. Turkish, German.Copy !req
1006. They all made a mess.Copy !req
1007. And my mother-
my mother-she said...Copy !req
1008. "We're lucky.
We're lucky to be alive."Copy !req
1009. And I thought,
"We're not lucky to be alive.Copy !req
1010. We're not lucky
when they're telling us...Copy !req
1011. where we should live,
what we should eat."Copy !req
1012. Nobody has that right.Copy !req
1013. And then I see you.Copy !req
1014. And I see Athena and Nico.Copy !req
1015. We came here for you...Copy !req
1016. so you could-so you could live.Copy !req
1017. I gave you life...Copy !req
1018. so that you could live it.Copy !req
1019. Ma? The band needs to be
picked up at the airport.Copy !req
1020. Ma?Copy !req
1021. The bride is awake!Copy !req
1022. Wait. Wait.Copy !req
1023. What is that?Copy !req
1024. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1025. Where did everybody go?Copy !req
1026. It's a mosquito bite.Copy !req
1027. It's a zit.
—I have cover—up.Copy !req
1028. Hello, ladies. Fresh baklava.Copy !req
1029. Nico!
—Get out of here!Copy !req
1030. Give me that camera!Copy !req
1031. Give me the camera!
—Toula! Toula, help me!Copy !req
1032. No boys allowed.
—Nice mustache, Nikki.Copy !req
1033. Thank you.Copy !req
1034. Nico, let's go, let's go.
—Dad, is that my tux?Copy !req
1035. - No, this one.
- —Nick.Copy !req
1036. Go to the airport and pick up the band.
—Okay, okay.Copy !req
1037. Okay.
—Hey. What's that thing?Copy !req
1038. It's a mosquito bite.Copy !req
1039. Put some Windex.Copy !req
1040. I've got the cover—up.Copy !req
1041. Bravo, Sue.
—You're all nuts!Copy !req
1042. We got another one.
—What is here?Copy !req
1043. You're supposed to get changed
at my house! Get out! Get out.Copy !req
1044. No, no, no. It may cause infection.Copy !req
1045. There she is.
—Toula, I want to talk to you.Copy !req
1046. Now?
—This is a very special night for you.Copy !req
1047. You have your duties.Copy !req
1048. What's the matter?
—One more. One more. One big one!Copy !req
1049. Hold on.Copy !req
1050. Listen, Toula.Copy !req
1051. On my wedding night...Copy !req
1052. my mother, she said to me...Copy !req
1053. "Greek woman-
we may be lambs in the kitchen...Copy !req
1054. but we are tigers in the bedroom."Copy !req
1055. Ew. Please let that be
the end of your speech.Copy !req
1056. What is going on? Why isn't anybody
ready? The photographer's here.Copy !req
1057. Go now. Go.Copy !req
1058. - Do you need sponging?
- —I'm all right.Copy !req
1059. More. More on top.Copy !req
1060. That's it. More hair spray.Copy !req
1061. Bravo.Copy !req
1062. So beautiful!Copy !req
1063. She's ready!Copy !req
1064. I'm a snow beast.Copy !req
1065. Ohh!Copy !req
1066. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1067. How are we supposed to know
what's going on?Copy !req
1068. It's all Greek to me.
—Oh, Rodney.Copy !req
1069. This is it.Copy !req
1070. What?Copy !req
1071. We take our first steps
as husband and wife.Copy !req
1072. Are you ready?Copy !req
1073. I'm ready.Copy !req
1074. Aw.Copy !req
1075. —Ya su!Copy !req
1076. - Where are you? Are you in there?
- —I'm-Yes.Copy !req
1077. Huh? Don't dab. Wipe. Wipe off.Copy !req
1078. Okay. Is that better?Copy !req
1079. Yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
1080. Who did your makeup, your aunts?
—Mm—hmm.Copy !req
1081. Drag queens could get a few tips
from those aunts.Copy !req
1082. Oh, my God. Look at me.
I'm just covered. I'm covered!Copy !req
1083. Like a big frosted cupcake.
—I know. It's like-Oh!Copy !req
1084. Come on. Help with the veil.Copy !req
1085. Hey.Copy !req
1086. Yeah, you got it.Copy !req
1087. There. Ah.Copy !req
1088. Mmm?Copy !req
1089. Oh.Copy !req
1090. Do we have to go in?Copy !req
1091. Too late to elope now.Copy !req
1092. Let's go in.Copy !req
1093. Okay.Copy !req
1094. Let me check this out.Copy !req
1095. Oh, it's going down, thank God.Copy !req
1096. What?Copy !req
1097. I woke up with this huge zit
this morning.Copy !req
1098. Where?
—There.Copy !req
1099. I had a huge zit this morning.
—You did?Copy !req
1100. Yeah.
—Where is it?Copy !req
1101. Well, it was right here,
but it's gone now.Copy !req
1102. Why?
—I put some Windex on it.Copy !req
1103. Have you here somedayCopy !req
1104. I'll count the stars tonightCopy !req
1105. Hope with all my mightCopy !req
1106. And when I close my eyesCopy !req
1107. You'll be right by my sideCopy !req
1108. Hi.Copy !req
1109. —- Opa!
- —Opa!Copy !req
1110. Opa!Copy !req
1111. Hello.Copy !req
1112. Welcome to the Portokalos family.Copy !req
1113. And, uh-oh, um-Copy !req
1114. Welcome, the Miller family.Copy !req
1115. I was thinking last night, uh...Copy !req
1116. the night before my-my daughter...Copy !req
1117. gonna marry, uh, Ian Miller...Copy !req
1118. that, um, you know...Copy !req
1119. the root of the word "miller"
is a Greek word.Copy !req
1120. And—And-And "miller"...Copy !req
1121. come from the Greek word, "Milo"...Copy !req
1122. which is means "apple."Copy !req
1123. So there you go.Copy !req
1124. Oh.Copy !req
1125. As many of you know...Copy !req
1126. our name, Portokalos...Copy !req
1127. is come from the Greek word,
"portokali"...Copy !req
1128. which mean "orange."Copy !req
1129. So, okay.Copy !req
1130. Here tonight, we have...Copy !req
1131. apple and orange.Copy !req
1132. We all different...Copy !req
1133. but in the end...Copy !req
1134. we all fruit.Copy !req
1135. Yes. We're all fruit.Copy !req
1136. My wife and me, we have a gift.Copy !req
1137. See, that's what we do.
The parents, they give a gift.Copy !req
1138. Here.Copy !req
1139. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1140. They bought us a house.Copy !req
1141. Bravo. Bravo.Copy !req
1142. Aw!Copy !req
1143. Beautiful.Copy !req
1144. Thank you.Copy !req
1145. I love you.Copy !req
1146. I love you too.Copy !req
1147. Come here, baby.Copy !req
1148. Okay.Copy !req
1149. —Thea Voula, we're gonna dance.Copy !req
1150. I know, dear. Let me get Taki.
—Okay.Copy !req
1151. Hey, Athena.Copy !req
1152. I'm gonna be a painter.
—Good. You can start with our fence.Copy !req
1153. Th—This is just a really nice wedding.Copy !req
1154. Oh, good.
We're gonna dance now. Come on!Copy !req
1155. Oh, no, no. I think I'll need
a little more ouzo before I do that.Copy !req
1156. Uh, what do you say?
—Ya sas.Copy !req
1157. —Ya sas.
—Yeah.Copy !req
1158. Bottoms up.Copy !req
1159. All right.
—Let's go, Harry.Copy !req
1160. Come on, Kosta.Copy !req
1161. All right. Opa!
—Come on.Copy !req
1162. Right over there.Copy !req
1163. Oh, Taki.Copy !req
1164. He looks Greek.Copy !req
1165. That's it.Copy !req
1166. That's it. That's it.Copy !req
1167. Yeah! Everybody dance!Copy !req
1168. Dance, everybody, dance!Copy !req
1169. Ya su, Ian!Copy !req
1170. Opa!Copy !req
1171. Sometimes
I'm afraid that it didn't happen.Copy !req
1172. I'm scared that I'll wake up
and still be buttering garlic bread...Copy !req
1173. waiting for my life to start.Copy !req
1174. But it did happen. It did.Copy !req
1175. And I figured out some stuff.Copy !req
1176. My family is big and loud,
but they're my family.Copy !req
1177. We fight, and we laugh...Copy !req
1178. and yes, we roast lamb on a spit
in the front yard.Copy !req
1179. And wherever I go, whatever I do...Copy !req
1180. they will always be there.Copy !req
1181. —- Opa!
- —Oh, oh!Copy !req
1182. So, Ian and I moved into the house
my parents bought us.Copy !req
1183. A minute later, I was pregnant...Copy !req
1184. and six years later, it was our
daughter's turn to go to Greek school.Copy !req
1185. But, Mom, I want to go to Brownies.Copy !req
1186. I know, I know,
but I promise you this:Copy !req
1187. You can marry anybody you want.Copy !req
1188. Oh, thanks, baby.Copy !req
1189. Greek school. Pame.Copy !req
1190. What's that mean?
— "Let's go."Copy !req
1191. Let's go. All right.
—That's pretty good.Copy !req
1192. Looking good, Gus.
—Hi, Dad.Copy !req
1193. Where you going?
—Greek school.Copy !req
1194. Baklava!Copy !req
1195. Paris, what's up?Copy !req
1196. Later. Okay, Ma?Copy !req
1197. Come to my art show.Copy !req
1198. Hey!Copy !req