1. Hi, Douglas.
How's it going?
Copy !req
2. - What did you do?
- Demo'ed the driveway.
Copy !req
3. - Nice job, too.
- What's the problem?
Copy !req
4. It's the wrong driveway.
That's a problem, isn't it?
Copy !req
5. 2933, Vic.
This is 2935!
Copy !req
6. We're in the wrong...
These guys are morons.
Copy !req
7. - I'm sorry. It's going to cost.
- It's going to cost who?
Copy !req
8. I'm in a bad way right now.
Money's very tight with me.
Copy !req
9. I can't afford to eat this,
even if it was my fault.
Copy !req
10. Shut up, Vic.
What am I going to do?
Copy !req
11. All right.
We're going to do both driveways.
Copy !req
12. No matter how long it takes.
And if you say one more word -
Copy !req
13. - I'll beat you to death
with a drywall hammer.
Copy !req
14. - You got it?
- It makes sense to me. Thank you.
Copy !req
15. Hello. Kinney.
Copy !req
16. Problem this morning? Giving away
free driveways? Come to my place.
Copy !req
17. No. Fax those plans right now.
Hold on.
Copy !req
18. Hi, hon. I was just about to call.
What's the matter?
Copy !req
19. Really? No, I know what it is.
It's the hot water heater.
Copy !req
20. My fax machine's gone psycho again.
Copy !req
21. What's up?
Copy !req
22. Do you hate me?
Copy !req
23. Do you want me dead? A guy from
Beverly Hills is going to sue me.
Copy !req
24. - You ruined his driveway?
- Yes, we did.
Copy !req
25. - Like a prank?
- No, Del.
Copy !req
26. Don't worry about it. It's my fault.
I'll fix it on my own time.
Copy !req
27. When? Ted told me you haven't
finished the Malibu job yet.
Copy !req
28. You know what I think?
Copy !req
29. - No, what do you think?
- We'll have to put in more hours.
Copy !req
30. This isn't a nine-to-five job.
We had a saying where I worked last.
Copy !req
31. "Unless you come in Saturday,
don't bother coming in Sunday."
Copy !req
32. - Are we going to work weekends?
- Weekends, nights, holidays.
Copy !req
33. My office. Two minutes.
Copy !req
34. Do you have any stegosauruses?
Copy !req
35. No. I have an iguanodon
and a tyrannosaurus.
Copy !req
36. I fished a stegosaurus.
Hi. Dad.
Copy !req
37. - Good hand. Hi.
- Did you look at the water heater?
Copy !req
38. - I just walked in the door.
- No bath tonight, Zack.
Copy !req
39. Brush your teeth and go to bed.
Copy !req
40. You missed Campfire Girls.
Copy !req
41. I'm not in Campfire Girls.
I'm a Brownie.
Copy !req
42. - It was Jennifer's graduation.
- Man, I forgot!
Copy !req
43. I phoned and reminded you.
Copy !req
44. I totally forgot.
Was she upset?
Copy !req
45. Yes. All the fathers were there.
Even the divorced ones.
Copy !req
46. - And the lesbian moms?
- Both of them.
Copy !req
47. - Where is she now?
- In the den. Drinking.
Copy !req
48. - She's asleep. Where were you?
- I had to work late.
Copy !req
49. - King fired DeGrazzi.
- You're kidding. Why?
Copy !req
50. He does bad work.
But at least he does it slowly.
Copy !req
51. - Who will replace him?
- The guy you sleep with.
Copy !req
52. The video store guy.
Copy !req
53. I knew you were dating, but not
that you were sleeping with him.
Copy !req
54. That's great. It's like a promotion.
It's not great?
Copy !req
55. - Guess who'll do my job.
- You're going to do it all?
Copy !req
56. - Will they give you more money?
- It's more of a prestige thing.
Copy !req
57. They'll probably give me a plaque
or a certificate for being so great.
Copy !req
58. That's ridiculous. We hardly
ever see you. Can't you say no?
Copy !req
59. Yes, if you want to catch your own
food. Don't worry. It'll be okay.
Copy !req
60. I'll go check on the water heater.
Copy !req
61. Jennifer Kinney.
Copy !req
62. I'll seek the way that'll bring
me to the fllre of kindness, -
Copy !req
63. - Lighted by those who have
gone on the Campfllre Trall.
Copy !req
64. That's so great.
Copy !req
65. I don't know.
I'll have to think about it.
Copy !req
66. I really appreciate it.
Copy !req
67. Thank you.
Copy !req
68. I'll call you. Thanks. Bye.
Copy !req
69. - Hi. Hungry?
- No. I'm too tired to eat.
Copy !req
70. - Who was that?
- Valerie.
Copy !req
71. Who helped her dial the phone?
Copy !req
72. Don't start. The company
made her regional manager.
Copy !req
73. When I quit work to have Zack, they
thought more of me than of Valerie.
Copy !req
74. - Did she call to tell you the news?
- No...
Copy !req
75. She offered me her old job,
now that she's been promoted.
Copy !req
76. - Are you going back to work?
- Yes. What do you think?
Copy !req
77. What do I think?
Copy !req
78. The first couple of months you won't
make anything because it's hard.
Copy !req
79. We're paying more for child care.
Copy !req
80. We're both working and then we're
both not going to Campfire Girls.
Copy !req
81. - Maybe you could help out more.
- How am I going to work that out?
Copy !req
82. I just meant in emergencies.
Copy !req
83. A real estate emergency?
My whole life's an emergency.
Copy !req
84. I'm not going back to work, am l?
Copy !req
85. We always said I would,
but now I realise I never will.
Copy !req
86. Take my job. Go build condos.
Make sure to be there at 6:00.
Copy !req
87. Call an exorcist.
Copy !req
88. I don't know where it came from.
I'm sorry, Laura.
Copy !req
89. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
90. This is stupid.
We just need to get a schedule.
Copy !req
91. We don't need a schedule.
We need a miracle.
Copy !req
92. MALIBU. CALIFORNIA
Copy !req
93. Once we get all this duct work in,
this should just fly.
Copy !req
94. Are you paid to watch her ass?
Because you do an excellent job.
Copy !req
95. We've got a problem down here.
Copy !req
96. I don't believe this.
Copy !req
97. Have a seat.
Damn!
Copy !req
98. Get out of the way.
Man. What is this?
Copy !req
99. I'm sorry. I just went crazy.
We'll turn the water back on now.
Copy !req
100. - This thing goes off all the time.
- Tough business.
Copy !req
101. - What do you do?
- Not mine. Yours.
Copy !req
102. Yes, really tough.
Copy !req
103. What do you do to relax?
Copy !req
104. - Well, play golf.
- That's a great game. How often?
Copy !req
105. Let's see...
Copy !req
106. Never. I'll have to cut back.
That's really going to hurt.
Copy !req
107. You don't have to live this way.
Copy !req
108. With all due respect...
I forgot to go to medical school.
Copy !req
109. - I can help you.
- Help me how?
Copy !req
110. Change your life.
Copy !req
111. - What do you guys do around here?
- We make miracles.
Copy !req
112. Sure.
Copy !req
113. Call me.
Copy !req
114. I feel guilty for not spending
enough time with my family.
Copy !req
115. Then I get resentful because l
don't have enough time for myself.
Copy !req
116. Work is first, my family is a close
second and I'm a distant third.
Copy !req
117. - Is that crazy?
- I'm not a psychiatrist.
Copy !req
118. And you don't need one. Real
problems require real solutions.
Copy !req
119. - Well, then... What do you do?
- I told you. I make miracles.
Copy !req
120. I create time.
Copy !req
121. I make clones.
Copy !req
122. Doug, sit down.
Copy !req
123. I'm a geneticist. 15 years ago
I started cloning viruses.
Copy !req
124. And then, ten years ago,
I cloned an earthworm.
Copy !req
125. - God bless you, sir.
- And then... a chimp.
Copy !req
126. And last year...
Copy !req
127. Last year...
Copy !req
128. - Hi there.
- Just in time.
Copy !req
129. - Doug is doing our new offices.
- I know Doug.
Copy !req
130. He and I went over the plans
one day. You were sailing.
Copy !req
131. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
132. - You understand my suggestion?
- Sure. What's not to understand?
Copy !req
133. - You xerox people.
- In a way.
Copy !req
134. The procedure takes about two hours.
It takes more or less two hours.
Copy !req
135. Then you have everything you need.
Copy !req
136. What is it that I need?
Copy !req
137. - Time!
- All you need. For everything.
Copy !req
138. Let's say I was interested.
What would a..?
Copy !req
139. Nothing fancy,
just a basic...
Copy !req
140. What would a basic clone job cost?
Copy !req
141. - Doctor, we're ready for you.
- Very good.
Copy !req
142. I hate to sound like a baby,
but promise me it'll be all right.
Copy !req
143. You're going to be fine.
There's nothing to worry about.
Copy !req
144. - I won't be like them. Will I?
- I hope not.
Copy !req
145. Watch your head.
Copy !req
146. Lie back and put your feet
in the stirrups.
Copy !req
147. Did you see "The Fly"? Jeff Goldblum
came out with enormous eyes.
Copy !req
148. Peripheral vision is one thing,
but this is a bad look.
Copy !req
149. And he eats everything with
these little hands and everything.
Copy !req
150. Take it easy.
Copy !req
151. Well... What is that thing?
Copy !req
152. - This'll help you relax.
- So far it isn't working.
Copy !req
153. I'm sorry. My uncle went to the
dentist, and he was never the same.
Copy !req
154. I don't know if he got that
suction thing lodged in his throat.
Copy !req
155. But after that he was always,
"Hi, Doug... What's wrong?"
Copy !req
156. - Count backwards from 100.
- Sure. Like that'll work.
Copy !req
157. - Am I all right?
- You're fine.
Copy !req
158. Well?
I mean...
Copy !req
159. Is it..? Is it a boy?
I mean, did it work?
Copy !req
160. - Is that it?
- No. I'm afraid you're it.
Copy !req
161. What do you mean?
I can't be it.
Copy !req
162. - You mean. I'm the clone?
- That's right.
Copy !req
163. - No. I'm me. He must be the clone.
- No. I'm me.
Copy !req
164. - Help me out. I'm me, right?
- Look here.
Copy !req
165. - I must be me.
- Hold this.
Copy !req
166. Attaboy.
Now... look here.
Copy !req
167. - You see that?
- I see a "2".
Copy !req
168. There you go.
Copy !req
169. Wait, I remember everything.
Copy !req
170. I came in. I put this on.
I remember getting the shot.
Copy !req
171. You have all Doug's feelings and
memories right up to the cloning.
Copy !req
172. But now, when you have different
experiences, you'll diverge.
Copy !req
173. - What do I feed it?
- Feed it? What am l? A hamster?
Copy !req
174. - Sorry. I mean, it eats something.
- He's a person, just like you.
Copy !req
175. He'll get duplicate identification
here. You take care of the rest.
Copy !req
176. Now I'll leave you two alone.
You'll have a lot to talk about.
Copy !req
177. Astonishing.
Copy !req
178. - What?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
179. So... Where are you from?
Copy !req
180. - Stay down low. Really low.
- You want me to get under the car?
Copy !req
181. Good.
Laura's not home.
Copy !req
182. - The Mildew Suite.
- We'll fix it all up.
Copy !req
183. Am I really going to live here?
Copy !req
184. You can't live with me and Laura.
She'll wake up, roll over and say:
Copy !req
185. "Doug, you two have to get to work
or you'll be late."
Copy !req
186. Don't worry. We'll clean up, put
down some rugs, get a TV...
Copy !req
187. We ought to get a satellite dish.
Get all the sports and movies...
Copy !req
188. I don't know about that...
I don't think Laura'll go for that.
Copy !req
189. - I knew it. You're whipped.
- I'm not whipped.
Copy !req
190. You're whipped, partner.
Copy !req
191. - Fine, I'm whipped.
- Some guys are whipped. It's okay.
Copy !req
192. No, you're right.
We've got to get a plan together.
Copy !req
193. Think fast. Wear these
till you get some of your own.
Copy !req
194. Don't make me want to kick your ass.
Copy !req
195. Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
196. Look at this. This is a great coat.
I love this old coat.
Copy !req
197. - Always use the garden gate.
- We should black out the windows.
Copy !req
198. Good idea. We have to come
up with a strategy for work.
Copy !req
199. - We're going to get a lot done.
- We're going to kick ass.
Copy !req
200. - And Ted...
- We're going to destroy Ted.
Copy !req
201. We'll ruin him. Bring him down.
Crush him. And I'll break his neck.
Copy !req
202. Laura's home.
Copy !req
203. Hi, honey.
Copy !req
204. Zack, help me.
Copy !req
205. - What are you doing up there?
- I was looking for something.
Copy !req
206. - You look really beautiful today.
- I do?
Copy !req
207. Do you want to go to the pony rides?
Copy !req
208. We could go to the movies tonight.
Copy !req
209. We could car pool, if you want.
No, I could pick you up.
Copy !req
210. - Doug! When did you get here?
- Six. Half day today, Teddy?
Copy !req
211. Let's have that meeting now, Del.
Here's the report on the Palisades.
Copy !req
212. - When did you do all this?
- We should do them every morning.
Copy !req
213. Two minutes. Conference room.
Copy !req
214. Sure...
Find out what he had for breakfast.
Copy !req
215. - Morning. Meeting start yet?
- I thought you were in the meeting.
Copy !req
216. - Did you see me?
- Yes, but in a different shirt.
Copy !req
217. Yes, but do you know why?
I spilled coffee on it.
Copy !req
218. - Then I went to my truck when...
- I was in the ladies room?
Copy !req
219. Perfect. I have another shirt.
which I keep for emergencies.
Copy !req
220. Like when I spill coffee.
Also, I got out my briefcase.
Copy !req
221. Then I came back. And I
forgot the meeting had started.
Copy !req
222. - Shouldn't you go back in?
- Yes, but I must go to the truck.
Copy !req
223. I'll get the original shirt.
It's dry now. And I like it better.
Copy !req
224. So when I come out of the meeting
I'll be wearing the original shirt.
Copy !req
225. - Are you okay?
- No problem. Never been better.
Copy !req
226. Why don't you forget all about it?
Copy !req
227. - Del King Construction.
- Is Doug Kinney there?
Copy !req
228. - He's in a meeting. Who is it?
- Carl.
Copy !req
229. - Roger.
- Roger who?
Copy !req
230. Carl Rogerson.
Copy !req
231. Phone call for you, Doug.
Copy !req
232. - What's going on?
- Who is it?
Copy !req
233. It's me. You.
It's us.
Copy !req
234. Hold on. I'll take it in my office.
Copy !req
235. I'm too busy to talk to myself.
Copy !req
236. - What's up?
- What are you doing there?
Copy !req
237. - Where should I be?
- I mean, you just went to work?
Copy !req
238. - You wanted to be home more.
- Yes, but we must discuss this.
Copy !req
239. We have to coordinate some stuff.
Anyway, how's it going?
Copy !req
240. Good. Everything's under control.
Copy !req
241. I'll go out to the Palisades later.
Copy !req
242. - Then I'll go by Sherman Oaks.
- I took care of it, pal.
Copy !req
243. - I'll go to North Hollywood.
- I'll do that on the way.
Copy !req
244. - Reseda?
- Already did it.
Copy !req
245. I'll tell you what then...
What should I do?
Copy !req
246. I don't know. Start living it up.
I've got to go.
Copy !req
247. Kinney!
Copy !req
248. You think you're hot shit.
But you won't fool anybody.
Copy !req
249. You read me?
Copy !req
250. I'm on top of you.
I see you, my friend.
Copy !req
251. Take this one.
Copy !req
252. What are you doing?
Don't kick it.
Copy !req
253. It's not soccer.
Fall on it! Fall on the ball!
Copy !req
254. Defence, let's go.
Copy !req
255. Zack!
Copy !req
256. - Mom said you had to work.
- You're playing, I'm coming.
Copy !req
257. You looked good.
Go sit with your team.
Copy !req
258. I don't pay 160 bucks
to sit and watch my kid eat oranges.
Copy !req
259. He played four downs. That's all
I have to play him. Period.
Copy !req
260. Let go of that. I'm a lawyer, not
just a coach. I'll kick your ass...
Copy !req
261. Don't touch me! Back off.
I've had it!
Copy !req
262. - I don't need this.
- Don't pay attention to those guys.
Copy !req
263. I'm doing the best I can do.
It's not like I'm getting paid.
Copy !req
264. - No. You could be out playing golf.
- I love golf.
Copy !req
265. They don't know what they're talking
about. I appreciate what you do.
Copy !req
266. Can I mention one thing? You should
think about a multiple-set offence.
Copy !req
267. - Four of these kids are morons.
- I understand. If you used Zack...
Copy !req
268. - Zack is my kid.
- That's it. Here you go.
Copy !req
269. You turn this franchise around.
See you in the Super Bowl.
Copy !req
270. - Hi. What are you doing?
- Dad's cooking dinner.
Copy !req
271. - Spaghetti?
- Yes. Just like the old days.
Copy !req
272. Dad's the new football coach.
He's great. We scored!
Copy !req
273. We've got a good team.
Go get washed up for dinner.
Copy !req
274. Thanks for coaching, Dad.
Copy !req
275. - I thought you had extra work.
- Not any more.
Copy !req
276. - Did you get fired?
- No, no.
Copy !req
277. I was tired of carrying that heavy
load, so I went in to King and said:
Copy !req
278. "You either get me some help
or I'm walking." Taste this.
Copy !req
279. - What did he say?
- What do you think he said?
Copy !req
280. I thought he was going to cry.
But he agreed to hire some help.
Copy !req
281. - The guy's like an assistant.
- I'm glad. Who?
Copy !req
282. Who? You mean, who's the guy?
Just a guy.
Copy !req
283. A new guy you don't know.
Very new guy.
Copy !req
284. - What you're saying is, he's new?
- He's going to run everything.
Copy !req
285. - And you trust him?
- Yes, like I trust myself.
Copy !req
286. - Great. What will you do now?
- Now? I don't know.
Copy !req
287. Right now I thought
I might do this.
Copy !req
288. - I want you to take that new job.
- My job? You mean it?
Copy !req
289. Yes! I can still drop off the kids
at school and I can leave by three.
Copy !req
290. So if you can just back me up
occasionally.
Copy !req
291. - Let's get the kids to bed early.
- What time is it?
Copy !req
292. - 6:15.
- Kids, bedtime!
Copy !req
293. Hi, Doug.
Copy !req
294. - Hi. Vic. What time is it?
- It's... 5:30 in New York.
Copy !req
295. - Then it's 2:30 here.
- Why is it on New York time?
Copy !req
296. I bought it in New York
and couldn't reset the darn thing.
Copy !req
297. - When did I tell you to be here?
- No specific time.
Copy !req
298. Yes. 1:30.
In fact, I repeated it twice.
Copy !req
299. Do you want solid or laminate?
Copy !req
300. That's strange. For some reason
2:30 just stuck in my head.
Copy !req
301. I'll stick something in your head.
Copy !req
302. You're fired.
Copy !req
303. Take your New York watch and
your fat ass and get out of here.
Copy !req
304. - For being a few minutes late?
- No, no. Three, four. That's a few.
Copy !req
305. You were 60 minutes late.
That's not a few. Hit it.
Copy !req
306. Is this a negotiating tactic?
Copy !req
307. I'm on my way.
Copy !req
308. Take your hands off me, now.
Copy !req
309. Now I'm getting mad. You've made
a point. What's happening now?
Copy !req
310. Are you guys on a break?
Let's go!
Copy !req
311. - What got into you today?
- I should've fired him long ago.
Copy !req
312. - But he has like 34 kids.
- He's been married 17 times.
Copy !req
313. - What have you got there?
- You ought to see these plans.
Copy !req
314. Hi, it's me. I need to work late.
Could you pick up the kids?
Copy !req
315. - Sure.
- It's not that simple.
Copy !req
316. - It's picture day at ballet class.
- That'll be cute.
Copy !req
317. Go home, give her a bath, mousse
her hair and be there at 4:30.
Copy !req
318. - Can you do this?
- I can do it. I'll see you.
Copy !req
319. Okay. Bye.
Copy !req
320. - Hello?
- Take the kids to the ballet.
Copy !req
321. - Wait. I was just teeing off here.
- Not today, pal. See you later.
Copy !req
322. I don't want a shower.
I want a bath. I hate showers!
Copy !req
323. Zack, get her on that side.
Contain her.
Copy !req
324. - You're going.
- I'm not going.
Copy !req
325. Let me see.
Turn around.
Copy !req
326. Good. I like it.
Let's go.
Copy !req
327. Hi. Sorry we're late.
We're here for the pictures.
Copy !req
328. Didn't anyone call you?
It was changed to tomorrow.
Copy !req
329. - No, seriously. The pictures.
- Tomorrow.
Copy !req
330. Get a photographer down here now.
Copy !req
331. - Right now.
- I'll see what I can do.
Copy !req
332. Hello? She's not here right now.
Copy !req
333. You can leave a message.
Copy !req
334. Hold on a second.
Copy !req
335. Can you call back?
I have a little emergency here.
Copy !req
336. One of the kids swallowed a spoon.
No, just a teaspoon. She'll live.
Copy !req
337. Keep it down!
Copy !req
338. - He took it.
- Zack, give it back to her.
Copy !req
339. I'm telling you, give it back.
Copy !req
340. - Doodyhead!
- You're a doodyhead.
Copy !req
341. Bath time. Go on up and don't
come out till you're married.
Copy !req
342. - Could we have some cake?
- Get up there.
Copy !req
343. I'm sorry. This couple wanted
to see the same house over and over.
Copy !req
344. - We're both here.
- Of course, sir. Right this way.
Copy !req
345. - This is like having an affair.
- We're too busy to have an affair.
Copy !req
346. I think he likes you.
Copy !req
347. I like him too, but there's no
future in it. Besides, I have you.
Copy !req
348. What are we celebrating?
Copy !req
349. You know.
I've been thinking...
Copy !req
350. - This isn't working out.
- What?
Copy !req
351. This new arrangement.
I'm not getting anything done.
Copy !req
352. All I do is cook and do laundry.
Copy !req
353. I pick up and drop off the kids,
dress them and clean up after them.
Copy !req
354. I've done that for ten years.
You've done it for a month.
Copy !req
355. - It comes more naturally to you.
- How so?
Copy !req
356. You're a nurturer. You are.
Copy !req
357. First of all you have two
X-chromosomes, and I have...
Copy !req
358. It's scientifically proven. That's
why you have breasts and I don't.
Copy !req
359. Just what are you saying?
Copy !req
360. This system isn't working. We have
to go back to the way it was.
Copy !req
361. You take care of the house.
and I do what I need to do.
Copy !req
362. And what do you need to do?
Copy !req
363. I have to go back to work.
And that's it.
Copy !req
364. No, that's not it. I love my job,
and I'm doing great at it.
Copy !req
365. Valerie is moving me into estates.
I'll be making a good living soon.
Copy !req
366. I know it's hard, and I can imagine
your day, but I'm not quitting.
Copy !req
367. We'll just have to work it out.
And that is it.
Copy !req
368. It's funny you think that's it.
Because that's not it.
Copy !req
369. What I said... That's it.
What you said... not it.
Copy !req
370. No, Doug. This is it.
Copy !req
371. I can't believe
you lured me here for this.
Copy !req
372. Can I have some water?
I didn't lure you into anything.
Copy !req
373. I had no idea. You tease me
and I kind of liked it...
Copy !req
374. But I thought
you were a happily married guy.
Copy !req
375. - I sleep in the guest house.
- My God. Is it that bad?
Copy !req
376. It's pretty bad.
Copy !req
377. She's sleeping with another guy.
That's the God's honest truth.
Copy !req
378. - She doesn't even know I exist.
- It must be so hard for you.
Copy !req
379. - It is.
- Do you want to go to my place?
Copy !req
380. - I understand...
- Doug, are you all right?
Copy !req
381. - What's wrong?
- It's a football injury. Rose Bowl.
Copy !req
382. - You played?
- I fell out of the bleachers.
Copy !req
383. Can I help you to the car?
Copy !req
384. - Let's get some dessert.
- You're still hungry?
Copy !req
385. My life's a shambles.
I need pie.
Copy !req
386. Can you breathe?
Should I Heimlich you?
Copy !req
387. - I'll get you some more water.
- No! Laura! Look at me.
Copy !req
388. - How do I look?
- Crazy.
Copy !req
389. Let's order. Let's get something
to eat. We'll feel better.
Copy !req
390. - I'm going to the ladies' room.
- Me too. To the men's room.
Copy !req
391. I mean, I'll accompany you to...
You know what I mean.
Copy !req
392. Boy, everything looks so good.
Copy !req
393. Doug, that's the wine list.
Copy !req
394. I thought there were a hell of
a lot of beverages on there.
Copy !req
395. Will you order? You know what I
like. Anything with barbecue sauce.
Copy !req
396. - What are you doing here?
- It's my favourite restaurant.
Copy !req
397. - I know. What about Noreen?
- She's a colleague. We're talking.
Copy !req
398. - Come on. You're up to something.
- Are you jealous?
Copy !req
399. - You can't cheat on Laura.
- You can't. I never get to see her.
Copy !req
400. - This isn't working out.
- What do you mean?
Copy !req
401. Our deal. We'll switch. I'll go back
to work and you'll stay home.
Copy !req
402. I'm going to do housework?
Copy !req
403. I thought you were joking. There's
no way that's ever going to happen.
Copy !req
404. I got you the job, pal!
Copy !req
405. You think I'm a genie? You rub a
lamp and I do what you want me to?
Copy !req
406. - I have things I need to do.
- Look, things change...
Copy !req
407. You took away my wife, my family,
my friends. All I have is my job.
Copy !req
408. I'm doing the work you couldn't do.
And I'm making it pay, so back off.
Copy !req
409. - I'm just washing his face.
- Of course. Please, carry on.
Copy !req
410. - What are you doing?
- I had to do something.
Copy !req
411. We'll talk later. I'll distract
Laura. Get Noreen out of here.
Copy !req
412. He's in way over his head.
Copy !req
413. Doug, I'm ready for dessert.
That's not your sport coat.
Copy !req
414. I switched with a guy
in the men's room.
Copy !req
415. We traded. Men do that all the time.
Copy !req
416. - Let's go.
- I thought you wanted pie.
Copy !req
417. It's your wife!
Copy !req
418. - May we join you?
- Have we met?
Copy !req
419. - What happened to your shirt?
- Water spots.
Copy !req
420. - I don't want to fight about this.
- Great.
Copy !req
421. - About what?
- My job.
Copy !req
422. Hell, no. We don't want to fight
about that. That'd be dumb.
Copy !req
423. - Laura, do you love me?
- Of course I love you.
Copy !req
424. Then kiss me.
Copy !req
425. Come on. Let's go.
Copy !req
426. That guy looks a lot...
Copy !req
427. I'm sorry... He's kissing her!
Copy !req
428. - Come on.
- Stop pushing?
Copy !req
429. Hi.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Copy !req
430. Sure.
You want a beer?
Copy !req
431. Actually I could use a couple.
Copy !req
432. Two, I'd like you to meet...
Copy !req
433. - Three.
- Hi, how are you?
Copy !req
434. Are you nuts?
Are you mentally nuts?
Copy !req
435. - I have it all figured out.
- What do we need him for?
Copy !req
436. He's going to help me with the kids,
and when you're not working -
Copy !req
437. - you guys can hang out together.
Copy !req
438. - I'm giddy!
- We could do a lot together.
Copy !req
439. - You're lonely. I got you a friend.
- Where is he going to stay?
Copy !req
440. Here with you. That way you have a
friend and a roommate. Look at him.
Copy !req
441. I have an idea. How about no?
Copy !req
442. Doug, he needs space.
It's a shock. I think.
Copy !req
443. The idea was for you to work while
I was with Laura and the kids.
Copy !req
444. Well, it isn't working. I need a
break, so I can work on the house.
Copy !req
445. Or sit and think a single thought.
Or play golf every once in a while.
Copy !req
446. I've been working since I was
12 years old. It's break time.
Copy !req
447. I think the 12-year-old is saying:
"You need time for Doug."
Copy !req
448. - What a suck!
- I don't know what a suck is.
Copy !req
449. - Come on. For Doug.
- Fine. Screw your life up.
Copy !req
450. - You're in way over your head.
- You're two good-looking guys.
Copy !req
451. - I'll make this up to you.
- Start by cloning Laura.
Copy !req
452. Cloning, Laura...
Bye, Doug. Have a good time.
Copy !req
453. I'm worried about him.
He's uptight, isn't he?
Copy !req
454. He'll be all right.
Copy !req
455. That's a lot of ribs.
What is that? A slab?
Copy !req
456. Okay kids, hurry up.
We're going to be late.
Copy !req
457. Books, jackets.
Copy !req
458. I'll drive the kids to school. Take
a couple of minutes to yourself.
Copy !req
459. - Thanks.
- That's all right.
Copy !req
460. Look, what I said about you
quitting your job... Forget it.
Copy !req
461. You have as much right to work
as I do.
Copy !req
462. - You mean it?
- I mean it.
Copy !req
463. I just want you to be happy.
Copy !req
464. I'll give you a foot rub tonight.
Copy !req
465. - How's it going?
- Fine. I'm baking. Where are you?
Copy !req
466. At the Laker game. I meant to go
home, but I felt like stopping here.
Copy !req
467. Have a good time.
Copy !req
468. - Did you hear from Two?
- He's still at work.
Copy !req
469. The guy's a horse.
I'll be home soon.
Copy !req
470. All right.
See you.
Copy !req
471. - What happened?
- Nothing. I had a terrible dream.
Copy !req
472. - What was it? Your dream?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
473. Go back to sleep.
Everything will be okay.
Copy !req
474. What was that all about?
Up there, with Laura?
Copy !req
475. - Who won the game?
- Don't worry about that. Lakers.
Copy !req
476. - What were you doing in bed?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
477. We were watching TV. Laura wanted
to go to bed. What could I do?
Copy !req
478. What do you mean,
"she wanted to go to bed"?
Copy !req
479. - What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.
Copy !req
480. - Did you have sex with my wife?
- No!
Copy !req
481. No, Douglas! Here was the plan.
When she was asleep, I'd sneak out.
Copy !req
482. I guess I dozed off.
Nothing happened.
Copy !req
483. She did kind of brush me in that
region, but I mamboed out of there.
Copy !req
484. Doug, he mamboed out.
Copy !req
485. Listen to me. Both of you.
Rule number one.
Copy !req
486. It's unbreakable.
Don't even try to bend this rule.
Copy !req
487. Nobody has sex with my wife
but me.
Copy !req
488. Fabulous rule, Doug.
Copy !req
489. - No clone nookie.
- You're the man, Doug.
Copy !req
490. Original nookie only.
Copy !req
491. - We're clear on that rule, right?
- Absolutely. It's locked in here.
Copy !req
492. - So, did you?
- No!
Copy !req
493. - Wimp.
- Slob.
Copy !req
494. The mambo king.
Copy !req
495. Watch the stern there!
Copy !req
496. Number eight,
it's a boat, not a bathtub.
Copy !req
497. - Did you enjoy sailing?
- It was more like bumper cars.
Copy !req
498. How about a nice
"I sailed with Walt" T-shirt?
Copy !req
499. Do you have an
"I got a refund from Walt" T-shirt?
Copy !req
500. I'd like to learn how to sail.
Do you have anything big enough -
Copy !req
501. - to take my whole family out
and not end up like Gilligan?
Copy !req
502. Great show. Remember the one
with the Harlem Globetrotters?
Copy !req
503. That was good. Believable, too.
Copy !req
504. - What the hell are you doing?
- How many of you are there?
Copy !req
505. That's our brother Doug. This is
Patti and Beth. We were dancing.
Copy !req
506. One's cuter than the next.
Copy !req
507. Are you as much fun
as Lance and Rico?
Copy !req
508. Lance and Ri..?
Copy !req
509. - You're Rico, I'm guessing.
- Guess again.
Copy !req
510. Even he can't tell them apart.
Copy !req
511. Look, can we have some privacy?
We have to have a family meeting.
Copy !req
512. - Wait..
- We were going to have a party.
Copy !req
513. - You're kidding, right?
- No.
Copy !req
514. - Are you a drag or what?
- Try to keep your voices down.
Copy !req
515. Goodnight, Lance!
Goodnight, Rico!
Copy !req
516. The adventures of Lance and Rico.
Copy !req
517. - Where did you meet them, Lance?
- They work at the Minimart.
Copy !req
518. Yes, they're clerks.
Copy !req
519. - Were the Slurpee girls busy?
- I stopped to pick up my dinner.
Copy !req
520. She offered to nuke my corn dog.
What am I going to say? No?
Copy !req
521. So we came back here to party.
Copy !req
522. - They were two very nice women.
- "Women" being the key word here.
Copy !req
523. You can't just bring
strangers up here.
Copy !req
524. - Are we supposed to be monks?
- He has a point.
Copy !req
525. A damn good point.
Copy !req
526. - What are you doing?
- What do you mean?
Copy !req
527. - I'm having a smoke.
- I can see that, but why?
Copy !req
528. I spent 1,000 dollars to quit.
Remember?
Copy !req
529. - Looks like it didn't take.
- Don't ever do that again.
Copy !req
530. - What are you going to do about it?
- I'll hit you so hard, he'll die.
Copy !req
531. Guys, come on. Let's sit down and
talk. You're angry. Like two lions.
Copy !req
532. - Shut up.
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
533. - Where's your aspirin?
- Tylenol. In the kitchen.
Copy !req
534. I'll find it.
Copy !req
535. I'll find it.
Copy !req
536. Look at this place. It's a mess.
I can't leave you for a minute.
Copy !req
537. One, two, three, four.
Copy !req
538. Doug, if I might...
Copy !req
539. One, two, three...
Copy !req
540. - Four...
- Twelve.
Copy !req
541. Doug, I'd like you to meet Four.
Copy !req
542. I got a wallet.
That guy gave it to me.
Copy !req
543. I'm going to drive a car.
Copy !req
544. He's got a wallet.
Come here. Come here.
Copy !req
545. - Where did he come from?
- He'll help us out around here.
Copy !req
546. Do the day-to-day stuff. Clean the
house, take out the trash and so on.
Copy !req
547. Forget that!
What the hell is wrong with him?
Copy !req
548. Nothing.
Copy !req
549. Nothing's really wrong.
He's a little special.
Copy !req
550. He's fine. He'll be all right.
Copy !req
551. - He's special, all right.
- We made a copy from Two.
Copy !req
552. Sometimes a copy from a copy is
not quite as sharp as the original.
Copy !req
553. Leeds loved it.
because it was very experimental.
Copy !req
554. We got a great deal.
Copy !req
555. Leeds loved it?
Good. Because I hate it.
Copy !req
556. You can't just go around
cloning people. That's crazy!
Copy !req
557. Listen up.
Listen really clearly to me.
Copy !req
558. Rule number two. First of all...
We all remember rule number one.
Copy !req
559. - No sleeping with your wife.
- That's important.
Copy !req
560. - Rule number two: No more Dougs.
- This is plenty, I think.
Copy !req
561. I'll call Leeds tomorrow. We're
out of the Doug-making business.
Copy !req
562. - Am I clear? Am I clear on this?
- The book's closed on that one.
Copy !req
563. I like pizza.
I like it!
Copy !req
564. We're going to need a cage.
Copy !req
565. Bye, Steve.
Good party.
Copy !req
566. I like Steve.
Copy !req
567. - How did it go?
- I'm telling you, this is great!
Copy !req
568. You want some really great sailing?
Bring Mrs. Doug tomorrow -
Copy !req
569. - and come to Catalina
with Robin and me on my big boat.
Copy !req
570. We'll cruise the Avalon Harbour
at sunset. Champagne on board.
Copy !req
571. We'd leave you alone. You make love
right on the boat. Very romantic.
Copy !req
572. - Think about Catalina.
- I'll call you.
Copy !req
573. Honey, may I do that?
I want to show you something.
Copy !req
574. First of all, this piece
of aluminium foil is too small.
Copy !req
575. It can't cover it all, so you'll get
that hard crust around the meat. -
Copy !req
576. - and nobody wants to eat that.
Copy !req
577. At Christmas time
we can make an ornament out of it.
Copy !req
578. And save those fries. We'll paint
them and hang them on the tree.
Copy !req
579. The kids are going to love that.
Okay, we'll take a fresh piece.
Copy !req
580. Now we fold up one side.
Make sure we're even.
Copy !req
581. Then I fold once. Twice or three
times. Whatever you need to fold it.
Copy !req
582. But don't just roll it over. Then
you have that lump in the middle.
Copy !req
583. Fold it nicely, so no air gets
in there. Air is our enemy.
Copy !req
584. Then take this.
Tuck, tuck, fold. T.T.F.
Copy !req
585. Two tucks and a fold.
I just think of Elizabeth Taylor.
Copy !req
586. Now roll it over nice and flat.
No air is going to get in there.
Copy !req
587. We could send it off to NASA and
nothing would happen. Now, the lid.
Copy !req
588. That's very nice.
Very nice.
Copy !req
589. Doug, I've noticed some things about
you lately that make me think...
Copy !req
590. - What?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
591. Go like this.
Copy !req
592. Can I just do something?
Copy !req
593. See what that does? It frames you
better. It gives you height.
Copy !req
594. Why don't you go relax
and let me finish cleaning up?
Copy !req
595. Why?
Copy !req
596. - Are you sure?
- I'm sure.
Copy !req
597. Freezer. Second shelf.
With all the other meat products.
Copy !req
598. Unless it's in a skin casing.
Then it goes lower... In the bin.
Copy !req
599. That was a great meal, honey.
Copy !req
600. - You cooked it.
- But you ate it.
Copy !req
601. Were you wearing that shirt earlier?
Copy !req
602. - This? Yes, sure.
- I'm losing it.
Copy !req
603. Dad, watch this.
Copy !req
604. - I'll show you "walking the dog".
- You just showed me before dinner.
Copy !req
605. I did?
That's right. I forgot.
Copy !req
606. You want to go get some ice cream?
Copy !req
607. Unless we already did.
Copy !req
608. - Doug, did you decide?
- Did I decide what?
Copy !req
609. What we talked about all evening.
You said you'd think about it.
Copy !req
610. I did.
I gave it a lot of thought.
Copy !req
611. What did you think?
Copy !req
612. Well, I gave it a lot of thought.
Copy !req
613. I think whatever you think is
probably the smartest thing to do.
Copy !req
614. Don't put this all on me.
They're your kids, too.
Copy !req
615. Can I say something?
Let's leave the kids out of this.
Copy !req
616. You want to go to Disney World
without the kids?
Copy !req
617. No. I don't want to do that.
That wouldn't be fair to the kids.
Copy !req
618. To go, just you and me, would be
stupid. When is it we're going?
Copy !req
619. - Christmas. I bought the tickets.
- Are you nuts?
Copy !req
620. - You told me to buy them.
- Not me.
Copy !req
621. - Not me. Not me.
- You're driving me crazy!
Copy !req
622. I call and you bite my head off.
At times you're as sweet as can be.
Copy !req
623. Then you're obsessed with details,
and now you don't even listen to me.
Copy !req
624. - What is going on with you?
- Nothing. Nothing's wrong with me.
Copy !req
625. You could have bipolar disorder
or multiple personalities.
Copy !req
626. Let's sail to Catalina.
Copy !req
627. - Drink wine and make love.
- Doug, you don't sail.
Copy !req
628. But I drink and make love.
The sailing... How hard can it be?
Copy !req
629. We can't just sail off to Catalina.
Copy !req
630. Let's be spontaneous!
We used to do stuff like this.
Copy !req
631. You're the one who wants to go
to Ecuador and throw harpoons.
Copy !req
632. - Doug, that's just talk.
- Let's do it. Why not?
Copy !req
633. Your job. My job. Jennifer's dance
recital. The Donaldsons' party.
Copy !req
634. - I'm not going to that.
- You said you were.
Copy !req
635. When you figure out what you want,
would you just let me know?
Copy !req
636. - Hello?
- In here, Doug.
Copy !req
637. Three?
Copy !req
638. - Can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure, Doug.
Copy !req
639. - What's up?
- I have to go away.
Copy !req
640. - It's a business trip.
- Business trip?
Copy !req
641. - I handle the business.
- He does. Steve.
Copy !req
642. Fine. It's not business. I need to
be alone and figure some things out.
Copy !req
643. You need to get centered. Good idea.
You deserve that.
Copy !req
644. - You have to be me night and day.
- What about rule number one?
Copy !req
645. Rule number one. Steve!
What's rule number one?
Copy !req
646. Rain Man, go floss yourself.
Copy !req
647. The rule stands. Remember when I had
a bronchial infection? You got it.
Copy !req
648. Cough. Tell her you don't want her
to catch it. Can you handle that?
Copy !req
649. - I have a sore throat and a fever.
- Do you want me to handle it?
Copy !req
650. - No. Thanks, though.
- I'm just trying to help out.
Copy !req
651. - Is he safe with that?
- We take the blade out.
Copy !req
652. We shave him while he's sleeping.
Copy !req
653. It's cute.
Copy !req
654. All right, I'm counting on you.
Copy !req
655. Hi. Walt.
Copy !req
656. - Where's your wife?
- She couldn't make it.
Copy !req
657. Don't you want to wait
until she can come?
Copy !req
658. - No. She'll come next time.
- All right. Come aboard.
Copy !req
659. Doug...
Copy !req
660. I'm sorry. I understand why you
wanted us to go away together.
Copy !req
661. It sounded romantic. But we don't
have to go away to make love.
Copy !req
662. - Are you all right?
- I'm coming down with something.
Copy !req
663. I've got a lot of phlegm,
and I'm burning up.
Copy !req
664. I think I have a fever.
We'd better not get close tonight.
Copy !req
665. - I'm not worried.
- I don't want you to get sick.
Copy !req
666. I just think... You know what?
Maybe if you'd not do that...
Copy !req
667. - Maybe I ought to sleep in the den.
- Just relax.
Copy !req
668. Hey, did you hear from your parents?
How are they?
Copy !req
669. I'm really feeling sick.
Copy !req
670. I'm going to make you feel better.
Copy !req
671. - You weren't that sick after all.
- No. I guess not.
Copy !req
672. That was so unusual.
I've never seen you cry like that.
Copy !req
673. That time when the souffle fell.
But besides that...
Copy !req
674. I guess I was just moved by it all.
Copy !req
675. - You know what I want now?
- No.
Copy !req
676. Graham crackers and chocolate milk.
Copy !req
677. - You want some?
- No, thanks. I've had plenty.
Copy !req
678. What have I done?
What have I done?
Copy !req
679. - Hey! Who ate all the bologna?
- Burglars.
Copy !req
680. - Did you eat everything?
- Count Chocula.
Copy !req
681. That's it. I'm starving. I'll sneak
in and get something to eat.
Copy !req
682. Doug, you startled me!
Change your mind?
Copy !req
683. Yes, I changed my mind.
I think.
Copy !req
684. Want some?
Copy !req
685. You taste good.
Copy !req
686. You taste pretty good yourself.
Copy !req
687. Remember when we used
to make love all over the house?
Copy !req
688. I remember.
Copy !req
689. Aren't you hungry?
Boy, I could go for one of these...
Copy !req
690. canned hams.
Copy !req
691. Wait. I don't know if this is...
the worst idea in the world.
Copy !req
692. I don't think we should do this.
I have a really bad cough.
Copy !req
693. Of course it could clear up
in a second.
Copy !req
694. I want you.
Copy !req
695. I'm not so sure... Okay.
Copy !req
696. Grab that.
Copy !req
697. That was athletic.
Better than the Stair-Master.
Copy !req
698. I guess I got a little carried away.
Are you all right?
Copy !req
699. Shouldn't we go back upstairs?
Copy !req
700. - I guess. Here.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
701. Laura, I almost forgot. There are
some things I have to take care of.
Copy !req
702. - I'll be up in a minute.
- The kids.
Copy !req
703. I forgot to shut the windows
in the Volvo.
Copy !req
704. No problem. I'll get it.
Copy !req
705. Sorry about yelling!
Copy !req
706. Steve?
Copy !req
707. Oh, baby!
Copy !req
708. You're drenched.
I'm sorry. Come upstairs.
Copy !req
709. I don't know what I was thinking.
Copy !req
710. You're soaking. Come on
and get out of these wet clothes.
Copy !req
711. I'm sorry, I was so selfish.
Copy !req
712. Let me help you with those pants.
Copy !req
713. Again?
Copy !req
714. - My peepee.
- I see.
Copy !req
715. So much for rule number one.
Copy !req
716. A hell of a ride.
Copy !req
717. Maybe we'll get the onshore wind
tomorrow. That'll be easier.
Copy !req
718. You ought to sit up
or you'll start feeling ill again.
Copy !req
719. - I'm sorry I hurled on your dog.
- It's not the first time.
Copy !req
720. Some people really shouldn't sail.
Copy !req
721. Maybe not. I was pretty
miserable there for a while.
Copy !req
722. It wasn't just
the getting sick part.
Copy !req
723. When I was down there
with my head in the head...
Copy !req
724. My whole life actually
flashed before my eyes.
Copy !req
725. The funny part is...
I wasn't in it.
Copy !req
726. I've got to get back into my life.
Copy !req
727. I have no idea what the hell
you're talking about.
Copy !req
728. But good luck to you.
Copy !req
729. - 103. You're not going anywhere.
- You're not going anywhere, Steve.
Copy !req
730. - The building inspector's coming.
- You're too sick to go anywhere.
Copy !req
731. - Del King.
- Del? It's Doug.
Copy !req
732. - How are you doing?
- Not good. I can't make it today.
Copy !req
733. - Why don't you rip out my liver?
- You're being a little dramatic?
Copy !req
734. If we don't get inspected today,
that guy won't be back for a month.
Copy !req
735. I understand. But I'm really ill.
Can't someone else meet him?
Copy !req
736. Nobody knows this job like you do.
Get down here or you're fired!
Copy !req
737. Nice attitude. Del.
Copy !req
738. - He said...
- I heard him. I have to go.
Copy !req
739. - You can't go.
- I have to go.
Copy !req
740. - Maybe I'll lie down for a...
- Take care of him. I'm going.
Copy !req
741. Sorry, Steve,
that leg has to come off.
Copy !req
742. All right.
So these are the water pipes.
Copy !req
743. And you've got hot and cold
available in all units.
Copy !req
744. That's very nice.
And what's that? It looks like...
Copy !req
745. It's the gas line, which would feed
natural gas to all appliances -
Copy !req
746. - which would require natural gas.
Copy !req
747. You're not answering the question.
Copy !req
748. - What was the question?
- The plan showed two-inch lines.
Copy !req
749. Go like this.
You've got something... That's it.
Copy !req
750. - Why did you go with one-inch?
- That's right. Now I remember.
Copy !req
751. So what's the answer?
Copy !req
752. Can you excuse me for a second?
Copy !req
753. Why did you decide
to use one-inch gas lines?
Copy !req
754. Knock it off!
Copy !req
755. Originally there were two ovens,
but King cut it back to one.
Copy !req
756. Got it. I remember now. The original
plan called for two ovens.
Copy !req
757. Somebody decided to cut back
to one to save money, I guess.
Copy !req
758. I like a double oven.
Sure there's a lot of bending, -
Copy !req
759. - but you can have a turkey in
the bottom and rutabaga up top.
Copy !req
760. - It's nice for entertaining.
- But you stubbed out for two.
Copy !req
761. What if someone wants two ovens?
Copy !req
762. I don't know.
Hold on a second.
Copy !req
763. - This is ridiculous.
- Wait...
Copy !req
764. He can't answer the questions, he
runs off. You know what that means?
Copy !req
765. - Alcohol and drugs.
- God knows what he's done here.
Copy !req
766. Because of the oven we took
the laundry room off this line.
Copy !req
767. - We ran a separate line for that.
- What about the gas fireplaces?
Copy !req
768. Thinking. Thinking.
Boy, does he have some tough ones.
Copy !req
769. He doesn't know what he's doing.
Copy !req
770. Wait a second.
You're entitled to your opinion.
Copy !req
771. But it's not fair to judge anyone
after one superficial conversation.
Copy !req
772. - We have to re-inspect everything.
- Kinney. Doug Kinney.
Copy !req
773. Stop all work until further notice.
I'll be back in about three weeks.
Copy !req
774. Get your act together or you'll lose
your license. And get him some help.
Copy !req
775. You what?
You got fired? How?
Copy !req
776. No, no, no.
Just come home.
Copy !req
777. Doug, what are you doing home?
Copy !req
778. - Are you sick?
- Yes. We're out of Pepto-Bismol.
Copy !req
779. - What about your big inspection?
- I guess I missed it, didn't I?
Copy !req
780. Wasn't it important? I rearranged
everything so you could go.
Copy !req
781. What are you, some kind of saint?
Do you want me to give you a medal?
Copy !req
782. Now I feel better.
Copy !req
783. Doug, you've been under
a lot of pressure lately.
Copy !req
784. But when you talk like that,
I think you mean it. It hurts me.
Copy !req
785. Something is happening lately.
I feel like I don't know you.
Copy !req
786. It scares me, Doug.
Copy !req
787. You tell yourself
that your problems aren't serious.
Copy !req
788. They happen to everyone. You hope
they'll go away, but they don't.
Copy !req
789. It's like this house.
You always said you'd fix it up.
Copy !req
790. "I'll fix it," you always say.
But nothing ever gets fixed.
Copy !req
791. I need to know what you're feeling.
Copy !req
792. I need to know if you still love me.
Copy !req
793. Please, just tell me
what you want.
Copy !req
794. I want pizza.
Copy !req
795. What?
Copy !req
796. I want pizza.
Give me some pizza.
Copy !req
797. Hey! Are you guys crazy?
What if Laura walks in?
Copy !req
798. Not much chance of that, sport.
Copy !req
799. - Where is she?
- She left you.
Copy !req
800. Nothing but tail lights.
Copy !req
801. She took the kids and went to her
mother's. They're in Palm Springs.
Copy !req
802. - I'm sorry. Did you eat?
- Forget that! Wait a minute.
Copy !req
803. - What happened with Laura?
- We had a fight.
Copy !req
804. - Why were you even talking to her?
- It's complicated.
Copy !req
805. I was pissed off
because I got fired.
Copy !req
806. No. He did. You couldn't answer
a few, simple, basic questions.
Copy !req
807. Simple questions? It was like being
on Jeopardy, for crying out loud.
Copy !req
808. - Knock it off!
- Puke-face.
Copy !req
809. Did you bring me a monkey?
Copy !req
810. - There's something else.
- What?
Copy !req
811. About rule number one...
Copy !req
812. What about it?
Copy !req
813. We bent it a little.
Copy !req
814. We bent it a lot.
Damn near broke the thing off.
Copy !req
815. - Did you sleep with my wife?
- Let's have some tea.
Copy !req
816. I'm sorry, Doug.
She's a powerful woman.
Copy !req
817. Take it easy!
Copy !req
818. She thought it was you.
Copy !req
819. The fact is...
She thought I was you, too.
Copy !req
820. - We're not perfect.
- We're not perfect.
Copy !req
821. I don't believe this!
Copy !req
822. I leave you alone for one day!
And you totally destroy my life.
Copy !req
823. We didn't destroy your life.
You did.
Copy !req
824. Actually, we were trying to save it,
and we were doing pretty good.
Copy !req
825. We just had one really bad day.
Copy !req
826. We tried. She was unstoppable.
It was like she couldn't get...
Copy !req
827. She touched my peepee, Steve.
Copy !req
828. I don't understand this.
Copy !req
829. We've had fights before, but...
Copy !req
830. Why did she leave?
Copy !req
831. - You don't fix stuff.
- What?
Copy !req
832. You always say you're going to
fix stuff, and then you don't.
Copy !req
833. Did Laura say that?
Copy !req
834. Maybe.
Copy !req
835. You talked to her before she left?
Copy !req
836. Maybe.
I don't remember.
Copy !req
837. This will refresh your memory.
Copy !req
838. Where do you put all that stuff?
Copy !req
839. Did you?
Did she tell you something?
Copy !req
840. She talked to me a lot.
Copy !req
841. She was afraid and she cried.
Copy !req
842. She cried?
Copy !req
843. She cried, because...
Copy !req
844. - Because I don't fix anything?
- She's scared.
Copy !req
845. She's scared.
Copy !req
846. - I'll buy you a present for this.
- A chainsaw?
Copy !req
847. Or a book. Something really nice.
Copy !req
848. Come on up.
I'm spitting on bugs.
Copy !req
849. - What's going on?
- I need you guys to help me.
Copy !req
850. I'm putting my life back together.
Come on. Let's go.
Copy !req
851. - About time.
- Polyblend.
Copy !req
852. - Steve, can I help?
- Grab the end of that plastic.
Copy !req
853. You said to be here at 8:30.
I'd like you to note the time.
Copy !req
854. - 9:15.
- This thing drives me nuts.
Copy !req
855. I'm sorry I spoke to you like that.
You're the best cement man alive.
Copy !req
856. - Really?
- No. No one else was available.
Copy !req
857. I can accept that.
You said you had your own guys?
Copy !req
858. Hi. Vic.
Copy !req
859. - Let's go to work.
- Fair enough.
Copy !req
860. Okay, you heard him.
Copy !req
861. I made some really tasty sandwiches
if you want one.
Copy !req
862. Great.
Copy !req
863. - Tuna with curried mayonnaise.
- I like that.
Copy !req
864. That's why I made them.
Copy !req
865. Let me ask you something.
Copy !req
866. The other night, when you were...
Copy !req
867. - When you were with Laura...
- I'll tell you something.
Copy !req
868. When she wants something,
there's no stopping her.
Copy !req
869. - I don't want any details.
- No, no. I know.
Copy !req
870. You think that...
Copy !req
871. that she liked you
better than she likes me?
Copy !req
872. Of course not, Doug.
First of all, you are me.
Copy !req
873. - I am you. Do you understand?
- Yes, that's right.
Copy !req
874. I'm me, you're me and I'm you.
Copy !req
875. I know she loves you, Doug.
Copy !req
876. I wasn't there for her.
Copy !req
877. Even when I was there
I wasn't there.
Copy !req
878. Remember what you said about
quality time with your family?
Copy !req
879. Trust me. It's all quality time.
Copy !req
880. That's for sure.
Copy !req
881. You have to brush your teeth.
Copy !req
882. Don't forget your books and jackets.
Grandpa will take you to school.
Copy !req
883. Dad! Did you come to take us home?
Copy !req
884. Go inside and let me talk to Dad.
You can see Daddy later.
Copy !req
885. Come on, you guys.
Hurry up.
Copy !req
886. - How was the desert?
- Great. Just what I needed.
Copy !req
887. I saw on the weather
that it was like 175 degrees.
Copy !req
888. It was a little hot.
Copy !req
889. All right, here's the deal.
I'm going to ask you to come home.
Copy !req
890. But I won't plead with you.
If you say yes, great.
Copy !req
891. But don't expect me to stand in
front of the neighbours and beg.
Copy !req
892. I don't think...
Copy !req
893. Stop it. Get up. Why didn't
you talk to me? It was mean.
Copy !req
894. - That wasn't me.
- That's just the point.
Copy !req
895. I was a little confused about who
I was. All right, real confused.
Copy !req
896. Look, it's happened to you.
You want to be a mom and to work.
Copy !req
897. You want to be independent, but you
need to be taken care of a little.
Copy !req
898. - It gets confusing, doesn't it?
- Yes.
Copy !req
899. Come home,
so I can show you something.
Copy !req
900. Come on.
Just for a minute.
Copy !req
901. It's beautiful. Oh, Doug.
Copy !req
902. This is perfect.
Copy !req
903. Great, right?
Copy !req
904. The wall's gone.
Copy !req
905. It's just like I dreamed...
Copy !req
906. I'm so glad you like it.
Copy !req
907. It's so pretty.
Copy !req
908. How did you do this?
Copy !req
909. I had some of the boys do some
work and we just got it done.
Copy !req
910. If you put your mind to it,
you can do anything.
Copy !req
911. - What do you think?
- I think it's a miracle.
Copy !req
912. It's good, right? I told you
I'd finish it. I just needed time.
Copy !req
913. I'm thinking of starting my own
business. What do you think?
Copy !req
914. That way I could set my own hours.
Copy !req
915. I don't want to do anything big.
I want to start with small projects.
Copy !req
916. Bird houses and mail boxes.
Stuff like that.
Copy !req
917. That'd be nice.
Copy !req
918. I love you so much.
Copy !req
919. I mean, I just...
Copy !req
920. I just really love you.
Copy !req
921. Whatever I do.
whatever you need to do...
Copy !req
922. As long as we're both rowing
the same boat we'll be fine.
Copy !req
923. - Bye, honey!
- See you.
Copy !req
924. Bye!
Copy !req
925. Where are you guys headed?
Copy !req
926. - Wherever the road takes us.
- Maybe Florida. Stop off in Vegas.
Copy !req
927. We're going to eat a dolphin.
Copy !req
928. - No, you're going to pet one.
- Right. We'll pet a dolphin.
Copy !req
929. - Will you be all right?
- We'll be okay.
Copy !req
930. - We'll be fine. Don't worry.
- How about you? You'll be okay?
Copy !req
931. I'm going to be fine.
Copy !req
932. I'll tell you one thing.
You're three good-looking guys.
Copy !req
933. - When he's right, he's right.
- I guess.
Copy !req
934. - I'll see you.
- Bye, Doug.
Copy !req
935. See you, Steve.
Copy !req
936. If a T. Rex fought with a tank...
Who'd win?
Copy !req
937. I don't know, honey.
Copy !req
938. Mom?
Copy !req
939. You know
how to tell you love someone?
Copy !req
940. When everyone reminds you of them.
Copy !req
941. Dear Doug.
Greetings from sunny Miami.
Copy !req
942. We've been open for six months
and business is booming.
Copy !req
943. Two is happy because he gets
to meet new people every day.
Copy !req
944. You know how nice he can be
when he wants to.
Copy !req
945. I'm cooking up a storm
and having a ball.
Copy !req
946. The pizzas are selling like crazy.
People just love my pepperoni.
Copy !req
947. And you'd be so proud of Four.
Copy !req
948. He's working two jobs. In the
morning he delivers newspapers.
Copy !req
949. And the rest of the day
he delivers pizzas for us.
Copy !req
950. English subtitles: IFT
Copy !req