Mom and Dad (2018)

1. It's not my fault you make me think bad thoughts.

2. - Oh, right. - You're so innocent.

3. I'm totally leading you down a dark path of corruption.

4. - You're right. If I crash and burn on my test today, that's on you.

5. - Oh, yeah. I forgot you have your PSATs today.

6. Are you ready?

7. - How can I be ready with you taking up all my study time?

8. - Ha ha. - You're gonna do awesome.

9. Then maybe we can celebrate tonight?

10. - Can you get away from the parental units?

11. - I'll have to make something up, but you know how creative I can be.

12. - Mom says to get your ass out of bed.

13. - Jesus! Knock, please!

14. Oh, my God!

15. I will kill you!

16. - ... several reports of police staging

17. near the Walmart on Mountain and also near Cornell Street.

18. - Witnesses tell us the driver calmly exited the vehicle

19. just moments before the impact

20. that police say killed the child instantly.

21. And reports that the woman

22. was in fact the child's mother could not be verified.

23. - Good Lord, really? - Before breakfast?

24. - Oh, sorry, Ms. Ryan.

25. - See that, Josh?

26. Always do what Mom says.

27. Chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga.

28. Chuga-chuga-chuga.

29. - Chuga-choo-choo! - No! No! No! No!

30. - So not funny.

31. Awful.

32. - Hey, uh, can I go to a movie with Riley tonight?

33. - With Riley. - Shut up.

34. - Since when does anyone under 30 go to the movies?

35. - Sweetheart, you're not seeing that boy.

36. - Well, he has a name,

37. and I know why you don't want me to see him.

38. - Yeah, because he's a junior, and you're a sophomore.

39. Listen, I used to be a 17-year-old dude once,

40. so I think I know— - That's gross!

41. - Gross? - Yeah.

42. - Honey, your grandparents are coming for dinner tonight, remember?

43. - Wh—Mom, really?

44. - Really.

45. - What? You haven't seen them in months,

46. and they're not getting any younger, you know,

47. so the "movie" can wait.

48. - Awesome! You and Grandma

49. passive-aggressive bitching at each other,

50. and Grandpa telling his disgusting Vietnam stories.

51. "Pulled it out and killed the Charlie bastard

52. with his own pigsticker."

53. - Carly! I am so sorry.

54. - M gan yiu, Mrs. Ryan.

55. I'm the Chinese. Chinese is not the Charlie.

56. - Well, I'm already on the rag anyway, and I—

57. - I can't hear you!

58. - Hashtag inappropriate talk before— - "Hashtag"?

59. - Sun, you take my advice. - Don't ever have kids.

60. Oh, oops!

61. - Mr. Ryan. It's too late.

62. - This is bullshit! - Okay, Carly, that is enough, young lady!

63. - So nothing about Jeannie yet?

64. - No. No baby news yet. - Soon, soon, soon.

65. - This is so weak. I can already see how this is gonna go down.

66. Aunt Jeannie's gonna have her kid today, out of all days,

67. and you're going to be the no-show for dinner.

68. - I wa—

69. You know, I want to trust you, Carly. Really, I do.

70. Your Dad and I both do,

71. but you don't make it easy on us when you shut us out.

72. Do you mind not Facebooking when we're driving together?

73. It's really the only time we have,

74. just the two of us.

75. - "Facebooking."

76. - You know what I mean. - Yeah, whatever.

77. - You know, I really, really hate when you say that.

78. Amazing.

79. I mean, everything just revolves around you, doesn't it?

80. - Doesn't everyone's world revolve around themselves?

81. Who else should it revolve around?

82. - Well, you're part of a family, Carly,

83. and that means that you love each other

84. even when you can't stand each other

85. and that you give a shit even when you don't really give a shit.

86. - Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Mom.

87. - Take your Aunt Jeannie, for instance.

88. I mean, you could have a new cousin today.

89. That is a big deal,

90. and all you can think about is—

91. You know, I don't even know what you're thinking about,

92. because you don't tell me anymore. We used to be best friends, remember?

93. - Okay. Well, that's not the case anymore, Mom. I have other friends.

94. - Right.

95. See, it's just, for me,

96. you and Josh are everything,

97. so you don't get to just shut me out.

98. Okay, it's not fair.

99. - God, it's not my fault you have no life!

100. You know what? You're right.

101. Whatever.

102. Aah! Aah!

103. - Stop it! Stop it!

104. - Had enough? - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

105. No! No! Ow!

106. - All right, Sun-Yi.

107. Thanks for everything. We'll see you next week.

108. Bye, Lisa.

109. - Bye, Mr. Ryan. - Okay, Mister.

110. I leave the dinner in the fridge.

111. Fuck you.

112. Yeah, okay, that's great.

113. 10...

114. it's not a guarantee for you.

115. - What the hell? - All right, let's have it.

116. You kids need to go to church.

117. - Dude! - I beg your pardon?

118. - I don't think you can just use my phone.

119. Can you?

120. - Owned.

121. - You can have these back at the end of the school day.

122. - Shh.

123. You still hungry, little man? Want some more dinner?

124. - I'm okay, Mom.

125. All right. It's okay.

126. - Josh.

127. Joshua!

128. God, it smells like something died in there!

129. How am I supposed to get that out?

130. - Great. Perfect excuse to get rid of it. - That's awesome, Kendall. Thank—

131. - We are so over. - I'm dying.

132. - Why do we do it?

133. Killing ourselves to hold back Father Time for what, a few more months?

134. - Why do anything? I don't know. - Be healthy, I guess.

135. - Be healthy, my ass. - It's not about being healthy.

136. It's about being hot,

137. and hot, skinny bitch,

138. is in our rearview mirror.

139. - Speak for yourself.

140. - I mean, don't get me wrong.

141. Look at you. You're amazing.

142. But that's not what keeps your hubby from chasing after 17-year-olds.

143. It's state divorce law that does that shit.

144. Yeah, if it weren't for that juicy hunk of asada in the front row,

145. I would not be keeping up with this torture.

146. - Okay, you know he could sue you for sexual harassment

147. for shoving your business in his face.

148. - Are you kidding me? - He is making his way

149. through that class like a stomach flu.

150. I'm just hoping he gets to my row

151. before I have a massive coronary and peace, out, yo.

152. Your sister, she's gonna pop one out, huh?

153. Yeah, good luck with that.

154. God, I need a real drink.

155. I saw Riley changing in front of the mirror the other day,

156. and I started to hate her a little.

157. She's my daughter. I should be proud,

158. but all I could think was,

159. "One day, those tits are gonna drop, you little whore."

160. Is that wrong?

161. - That's funny. - I could have sworn—

162. - What?

163. - That I got 100 from the ATM yesterday.

164. - Oh, don't worry about it. - I got this.

165. - Yeah. No, it's just weird.

166. I don't know what I could have done with it.

167. - I don't know about your little angels,

168. but mine steals from me every chance she gets.

169. - No. - She's a bitch.

170. - Does anybody know what this means?

171. Anyone?

172. Bueller? No?

173. It refers to products

174. designed with a predetermined, limited life span,

175. products that are literally built to die,

176. that is, to become unfashionable

177. or nonfunctional in a certain amount of time.

178. - See exhibit A. - Excuse me.

179. That's actually the new one.

180. - You are dexterously missing my point

181. and making it at exactly the same time.

182. See, the idea is to manipulate the consumer...

183. to constantly want to buy the new one.

184. - Yeah, duh.

185. - Of course, there's an argument to be made

186. in favor of— What's this? What is it?

187. - Planned obsolescence. - Planned obsolescence.

188. That's right. Without getting rid of the old,

189. you might never embrace the new.

190. The need to continuously replace, it forces us to accelerate progress.

191. The same thing can happen in nature. Hold that thought.

192. Yep?

193. Sure.

194. Peña, you need to go to the office.

195. - Where was I? - You were saying how we were

196. the new and improved version of last year's class.

197. - That's funny.

198. Oh.

199. Really?

200. Yes?

201. Okay.

202. I understand.

203. All right.

204. Jensen, they need you in the office, too. I'm sorry.

205. - What's going on?

206. - Chapter 12. - Everyone, let's go. Come on.

207. - Problem?

208. What's the rush today?

209. We still have over an hour.

210. Look at 'em. Looks like they're waiting for a buffet.

211. - My mom is such a penis. - She is killing me.

212. She just won't let go of that shit last weekend.

213. I'm totally cut off. No credit, no ATM.

214. Can't even get in my birthday money.

215. - Can't you ask your Dad?

216. - Nah. He direct deposits in my account.

217. It's not like he can just fly in and drop me a hundo.

218. He's in, like, Europe or something.

219. I don't know. Fuck that dude.

220. Besides, I got you, fam.

221. Seriously, you're not gonna wash your hands?

222. - Oh.

223. - We are gonna get fucked up! - Fucked up!

224. - Put that down! Here. - Put it in your bag.

225. - Let's go.

226. - Whoa. - This is not normal. Whoa!

227. - Watch where you're going, fucking ham beast!

228. - Come on.

229. Jesus.

230. Whoa, Riley, look at that.

231. - Let me go!

232. - Is that McKenna's Mom? - Let me go!

233. No! Get off! Let me go!

234. Get off of me!

235. - You're finished? You know there's still 20 minutes left.

236. - Yes, ma'am.

237. - And the score's pretty important to your future.

238. - I took a lot of practice tests.

239. - Why are the buses here? - This isn't a fucking bomb scare.

240. - Come on. - Back up. Back up.

241. - No, I'm not gonna back up.

242. - We can't send these kids home! - We don't know what's happened!

243. - What are they doing here?

244. - Come on, honey. - Mom's here. Let's go.

245. - Back up! Back up!

246. - Do you see your Mom? - Yeah, right.

247. If ISIS dropped a bomb on this place, she'd be so stoked.

248. - Come on over. - Evan, let's go. Evan. Evan.

249. - This is my kid! - You're not gonna tell me what—

250. - Back up! - Touch me again, I'll...

251. - Get the fuck back! - Evan. Evan! Evan, let's go now!

252. Right now. Come on. Let's go!

253. - Hold that kid!

254. No!

255. - Whoa, dude, check it out.

256. - What in the actual fuck?

257. - We gotta go.

258. - My car. I drove today.

259. - I told you to fucking stay back!

260. - Hey, Mrs. Beasley. - Where's Amanda?

261. - She's inside.

262. Commissioner?

263. Commissioner? Commissioner?

264. - Look, look, at this time,

265. the last thing we want to do is disseminate any information

266. that may not be accurate and compound the problem.

267. - Is it true that the murderers and the victims are related?

268. Can you at least—

269. - Some of that information may be correct, but...

270. - Fuck.

271. Come on, Dad.

272. Your kids, sir, do you know where they are?

273. - I do, and I can assure you I intend to see them very soon.

274. - That's not gonna cut it. We're gonna need a little bit more than that.

275. - Tell... tell us the truth! - Tell us what's really go—

276. Dad?

277. Dad! What— What the fuck, man?

278. Don't— Please don't do this again!

279. It's me. It's your son. It's Damon!

280. Ain't you had enough of that shit?

281. Dad.

282. Put the bottle down.

283. What the fuck?

284. Dad!

285. No!

286. Dad!

287. No, Dad! No!

288. - I don't know about your little angels...

289. - Carly?

290. - ... but mine steals from me every chance she gets.

291. Well, look at you.

292. - Look at you. Two kids.

293. - I know. - Ugh, hard to believe.

294. Enh.

295. And you have none?

296. - Can't wrap my head around it. - Look, you either die single,

297. or you live long enough to see yourself become a cliché.

298. - Stupid.

299. Unh. So it's the best, huh?

300. - It is, but they need you less and less,

301. and that's sort of why I'm here today.

302. Remember how you said if ever I want to get back in...

303. - Oh, Kendall, that was, what, like, 15 years ago?

304. - Uh, yeah, that's the "ever" part.

305. - Look, Kendall, you are always a rock star to me,

306. but this isn't something you can just jump back into.

307. I get it. You're going crazy, kids.

308. - Crazy? Wow.

309. - Maybe take some classes.

310. - Classes?

311. - Yeah. Something fun.

312. - Tell me.

313. Oh, my God.

314. Are you sure?

315. Okay, okay.

316. I'll meet you at the hospital.

317. Yep.

318. God damn it!

319. - Yeah, like he's gonna stop.

320. - I don't know. We're supposed to be in class, aren't we?

321. - World War Z just broke out at our school.

322. I'm pretty sure nobody's gonna care that we left early.

323. - Where's the remote? We gotta find out what's going on.

324. - Yo, she was fucking retarded.

325. Oh, man. I need to light up.

326. - What we had prayed... - Found it!

327. - ... was an isolated incident is apparently far from it,

328. as multiple reports are now coming in

329. of similar attacks across the country.

330. We can hardly believe what we are reporting to you

331. based on the videos that are flooding in,

332. and we want to warn you this footage is very graphic.

333. - Fucking needed that. - Hey, you want a drink, bitch?

334. - Yeah. I mean, fuck no! - Dude, get in here!

335. - But what we know is this. - What the fuck?

336. Multiple incidents are being recorded of parents attacking

337. and, in many cases, murdering their own children.

338. - Riley!

339. - Mom? Are you okay?

340. - I spilled my drink.

341. I'm sure many viewers are unfamiliar

342. with a phenomenon known as savaging.

343. It's actually somewhat common in the animal kingdom.

344. For instance, in a domestic pig population,

345. as anyone involved in raising livestock will tell you—

346. Excuse me. You are talking about pigs?

347. There are children dying, and you're talking about pigs.

348. - Well, yes. In fact, around 50% of the piglet fatalities seen

349. is due to the mother attacking or crushing the newborn pre-weaned babies,

350. and no one can say exactly why they do it.

351. Again, we have to emphasize we have no idea

352. what set off the incidents,

353. and authorities have so far refused to issue any statement.

354. All we know is what we are...

355. - Riley?

356. Riley, I swear to God,

357. if you're messing with me, I'll kill you.

358. - Hey, kiddo.

359. Dr. Torres, please dial...

360. All right, but isn't it a fact

361. that we still have no real idea what is causing this?

362. It could be a natural phenomenon,

363. but let's just postulate someone wants to wipe us out,

364. so they create a biological weapon or a neurotoxin

365. which attacks a very hard-wired human impulse,

366. which is to protect our young.

367. Any parent would rush out in front of a speeding car

368. or an oncoming train or even a wild animal to save their child,

369. but if you could take

370. that natural human impulse and reverse it,

371. you wouldn't have to wipe us out,

372. because at that point, we ourselves

373. would be wiping out our own future.

374. - Kendall! - Oh, Jeannie!

375. - It's about time, woman! Damn. - Are you the father?

376. - No, I'm the— - No, he's the boyfriend.

377. It's complicated. Dan the man.

378. I hope you remembered to bring your camera.

379. - Motherfucker!

380. I can't do this! I can't!

381. - Dan, Dan, are you sure you don't want to wait outside?

382. This might be a little more than you signed up for.

383. - This thing is fucked up!

384. - Holy fucking shit!

385. How have you done this twice?

386. You're inhuman.

387. - Easy there. Less talking. - More breathing. We're almost there.

388. - 80% dilated. - She's good to go, Doctor.

389. - Hey, I know it hurts. - Oh, this fucking sucks!

390. - I know this hurts, Mama, but trust me.

391. The second you see that beautiful baby and hear that voice,

392. everything will just disappear.

393. It's some kind of magic, okay? Trust me.

394. It will go away.

395. - It's probably just the drugs kicking in.

396. - No, no, Jeannie. - It's something else.

397. It's—It's love kicking in, okay, so just let it come.

398. - And push! - Do you mind? Do you mind?

399. Are you getting this? Get this.

400. - Good job, Mama.

401. - Look at that beautiful girl!

402. Very strong voice.

403. - I bet Mommy wants to hold her daughter.

404. - Jeannie?

405. Jeannie?

406. Jeannie, you're holding her too tight. Stop. Jeannie.

407. - No! No, no, no! - Security!

408. - Jeannie! - Call security!

409. - Okay. - Stop her!

410. - You're holding her too tight! Ahh!

411. - No, no, no. - Jeannie!

412. What's happening with her?

413. Jeannie! Jeannie, let go!

414. - Security!

415. - No!

416. Jeannie, let go.

417. - Call security.

418. No! Keep her back.

419. Jeannie!

420. Jeannie!

421. Why is this happening to her? What the hell is going on?

422. What the hell is happening here? Security!

423. Jeannie.

424. Oh, it's me!

425. What is happening?

426. - No! No! No! - It's me! It's me!

427. - I got you! I got you! - Damon. The guy, he—

428. - Don't worry. He doesn't want us.

429. - Come on. Come on. - But—

430. Damon, what happened to your arm?

431. - Sweetie, where's your brother? - He's at home with—with Sun-Yi.

432. - What about your folks? - My Dad's at work, and my Mom is—

433. She's at the gym with—

434. - We have to go. - We have to go right now!

435. - Hey, um—

436. I'm not taking any calls, all right?

437. What about your wife?

438. - Oh, especially not.

439. - Goddamn it, Brent.

440. It's okay. It's okay.

441. - Excuse me, ma'am. - You're the mother's sister?

442. - Yes. Is she okay?

443. - She's fine. She's been sedated.

444. - Sedated.

445. - We need to ask for the baby.

446. - No. I think I need to keep her close with me.

447. Ma'am, I need you to give her the child.

448. - But this is my family.

449. - Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we must insist.

450. - It's for the child's safety.

451. Please understand.

452. - No. No.

453. What is this? What is going on here?

454. - We're not sure, but until we know more,

455. we need to protect the children.

456. - Oh...

457. Okay.

458. Sun.

459. Sun, is everything all right over there?

460. - Hi, Ms. Ryan. - Everything is fine.

461. How 'bout your sister? Did she have the baby?

462. - Okay, stop. Is—

463. Oh, is Joshua all right?

464. - Uh, Joshua, he's fine.

465. I make him lunch. He's hiding around here somewhere.

466. - Okay, I-is Mr. Ryan home?

467. - No. He go to work.

468. - Okay, you haven't heard from him?

469. - No, Ms. Ryan. - Is everything okay?

470. - No. Listen, I am coming home.

471. - Whose car is that? - The housekeeper's.

472. My Dad doesn't get home 'til late.

473. - All right, let's do this fast. - We're gonna go in.

474. We're gonna get your little brother, and get the hell out, okay?

475. - Okay.

476. Sun-Yi?

477. - Carly, you're home.

478. Why you not at school?

479. - We left early today.

480. - Okay. Come here. - I make you the lunch.

481. That's your boyfriend?

482. Mr. Ryan say no boyfriend in the house.

483. You understand me?

484. - We're only here for a minute, okay? - Uh, where's Joshua?

485. - In his room.

486. I don't know why he's not come out.

487. - Oh, my God.

488. - Ai-yah.

489. I can't get this stain out of the floor!

490. - No, you— you need to leave, okay? - You need to go right now.

491. - I clean the mess, and then I go.

492. - No! You need to leave right now! - Don't worry about the cleaning!

493. Just get out of the house!

494. - Go get your brother. - Get out!

495. - You want the lunch, kid?

496. - I'm good.

497. - Everybody so crazy today.

498. I don't understand why they so crazy today.

499. I don't clean the kitchen.

500. Don't know who's clean the kitchen.

501. - Josh?

502. Where are you, bro?

503. Hey, are you okay?

504. - Lisa.

505. S-Something bad happened to Lisa.

506. - I know. I know. I know.

507. - I didn't— She didn't do anything wrong.

508. - I know, okay? - Why'd she do it?

509. - I know. Just listen to me. - I know. I know you're scared.

510. But we have to get out of the house before Mom and Dad come home.

511. - Ai-yah.

512. I think it's horrible what's happening.

513. - Yes. I only wish that I—

514. Intellectually I should feel devastated.

515. This should be the most awful thing that could happen to anybody.

516. I get that, but it's just not.

517. Look, I'm trying to summon up some crocodile tears for you

518. just so you don't think I'm a monster,

519. but I can't.

520. - So do you think it's good what's happening?

521. - Absolutely not.

522. I think it's horrible what's happening.

523. - But for you...

524. - It was exactly right.

525. - What the hell are you doing here?

526. - It's not what you think, Mr. Ryan.

527. - What are you doing in my house?

528. Is my daughter here?

529. Carly? Joshua?

530. - Is that Dad? I want Dad.

531. - No, we have to leave, God damn it.

532. - I need to get my backpack. - Why? Fine. Just get it.

533. - Mr. Ryan, we need to talk, sir. - Oh, do we need to talk?

534. Yeah, we do need to talk. You can't be here.

535. - This is not about me and Carly. - It's about what's happening.

536. - I get exactly...

537. what's happening.

538. It's called hormones.

539. Yeah, believe it or not, I used to be young once, too,

540. and actually not all that long ago, by the way.

541. And I think about how things were in my day.

542. - Mr. Ryan—

543. - But now the world you kids are living in,

544. the things you've seen on the Internet,

545. mouth to dildo, dildo to ass, ass to ass.

546. Hi, Brent, anal beads, things I only saw in magazines!

547. - No!

548. - And the expectations that must come with that.

549. - Dad?

550. - Daddy!

551. Come on!

552. Dude.

553. Right here. Right here.

554. Yeah, that's sexy. Okay.

555. Hey, where's Spot?

556. Mom, where's Spot?

557. He ran away!

558. Wow!

559. You were gonna tell me about this at some point?

560. - Jesus Christ. Why do you sneak up on me like that?

561. - You bought a pool table?

562. - Yeah. So?

563. - You don't even like pool.

564. Can I ask how much this cost?

565. - Don't worry about it. - I kind of have to worry about it.

566. I mean, Christmas is coming up.

567. Do you really think this is the right time

568. to start building a man cave in the basement?

569. - It's not a man cave, Kendall. Jesus!

570. I just thought, you know, like— like a family room.

571. - The whole house is a family room.

572. - Okay. I got a problem with that one right there,

573. because I bust my ass six days a week trying to pay this place down,

574. and it's like a fucking obstacle course trying to get out the fucking front door.

575. One of these days, I'm gonna trip over one of Josh's toys

576. and take a nose dive straight to the emergency room.

577. - What are you saying?

578. - I'm saying that maybe we need to have boundaries.

579. I'm saying that maybe there needs to be a fucking grown-up zone

580. and a fucking kid zone!

581. - Brent, honey, you think I want to be the one

582. to piss all over your family room?

583. - Do you think I want to be the one who has to build a fucking family room?

584. Perfect. Yeah.

585. Okay. Well, let me see if I can take care of this for you, sweetheart.

586. Yeah, I think I have something. I have just the right thing.

587. - Brent, stop.

588. - And you do the hokey-pokey,

589. and you turn yourself around!

590. That's what it's all about!

591. There you go.

592. Problem solved.

593. You're right, honey. I hate pool.

594. Not a big fan of machine-part sales either.

595. Trying to hit quotas down there, be a big man.

596. Not exactly what I had in mind as a young dude, you know.

597. Bright future. Everything in the world to look forward to.

598. I mean, I was gonna grab the world by the balls and squeeze, boy!

599. God damn it! I remember that kid I used to be

600. like it was four fucking minutes ago!

601. My feet barely touched the ground back then.

602. My kill ratio was 9 out of 10! It was 100% sex.

603. But that guy in a million years

604. could never have pictured this tired motherfucker he turned out to be!

605. Flat on his ass, fat, bald,

606. cottage-cheese fucking ass,

607. Blue Bonnet butter waistline,

608. with hair coming out of my ears, my nose.

609. And my salary went from $145,000 to $45,000!

610. Yeah, building a fucking man cave!

611. That's right. You're right!

612. I mean, does any of this make any sense to you at all?

613. - Of course it does.

614. I mean...

615. it's not that as a woman,

616. you don't have career dreams,

617. relationship dreams.

618. I did. I had all that...

619. but there's this bigger thing.

620. All your life, you know it's coming.

621. And there's this mix of anxiety and...

622. secret excitement...

623. and terror,

624. because you know that one day

625. inevitably, you'll create this life.

626. The hugeness of it, the importance of it,

627. everything is building to that moment.

628. And then it happens.

629. And no matter what you thought it would be...

630. it's not like that.

631. I mean, it's intense.

632. It's fucking bat-shit, but it's not...

633. It doesn't...

634. Anyways, it is what it is.

635. Just something that happens, and then it's—

636. - Then it's over.

637. - Yeah.

638. - I know this is the way things are supposed to be.

639. I-I know we're doing it right.

640. It's just hard to get my head around, you know.

641. I mean, I used to be Brent,

642. and you used to be Kendall,

643. and now we're just...

644. Mom and Dad.

645. - Fuck!

646. Come on!

647. The origin of threat is still being determined,

648. but what we are being told by authorities

649. is that we are under attack.

650. To anyone in earshot of this broadcast,

651. the message is you are going to want to go to them.

652. It's your natural instinct in the middle of a crisis to protect them,

653. but do not go near your children.

654. - Are you all right?

655. - Took a header.

656. Must have blacked out.

657. - You're home early.

658. - So are you.

659. They're in the basement.

660. - Carly? Joshua?

661. - Can you hear me? - Mom?

662. - Dude, shh.

663. - Yes, it's Mommy. - Mommy's here.

664. Is your sister with you?

665. - Yeah, Mom, I'm here.

666. - Oh, thank God. - Are you two all right?

667. - Mom, I stole the money from your purse.

668. I'm so sorry. I—

669. Riley, she just said that she needed it,

670. and then her... her mom—

671. - It's okay, honey. - I understand.

672. You must have had a very good reason,

673. but that's not what this is about.

674. Now I want you to unbolt the door,

675. and I want you and your brother to come out of that basement.

676. Do you understand?

677. - No, Mom, we're not coming out, okay? - You have to leave.

678. You need to leave the house, you and Dad!

679. - Your motherfucking mother said to open this door!

680. And, motherfuckers,

681. you're going to open this motherfucking door!

682. Carly.

683. - Not so helpful.

684. - Joshie.

685. - All right. - Let's try it this way.

686. - Where are you going?

687. That's not gonna cut through this door.

688. - The hell it won't. It's a Sawzall.

689. That means it saws all.

690. - Ah, well, you know, educate me.

691. Fuck this.

692. I'm tired of messing around with this shit.

693. You want to get things done, huh?

694. I'll get things done.

695. - Mom! Please don't!

696. Please.

697. - What the fuck?

698. Aw, shit!

699. - Got a fucking explanation for this?

700. You really went all in on the midlife crisis thing, didn't you?

701. A fucking handgun? Really?

702. - Well, I mean, some psycho could break into the house.

703. How am I supposed to defend us?

704. - You do realize that one in five children

705. and adolescents injured involve firearms!

706. - It was in a locked case.

707. - What was the combination?

708. - Josh's birthday.

709. - Who wants to die today?

710. Speak! Speak!

711. Come on.

712. What a jerk you are.

713. - Damn it!

714. - Forget it. I have an idea.

715. Want to get me something for this?

716. - Oh, you bet I will.

717. - Okay, just get some alcohol.

718. - Alcohol? Okay.

719. Just alcohol. Okay.

720. Maybe I should try to take the bullet out first.

721. - Are you fucking kidding me? - No! No. Leave it.

722. - I just don't want it to get infected.

723. - Just leave it. - Okay.

724. You ready? One, two, three, go.

725. - W-What was that?

726. - It sounded like Mom.

727. - All right, okay, okay. - Opening.

728. I don't want to hurt your teeth.

729. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Ow! Fuck!

730. All right.

731. All right, okay. Here we go. All right.

732. And one, two...

733. three...

734. five, six.

735. - Do you think Dad's hurting her?

736. - I don't know.

737. I don't think so. I think...

738. I think they only want to hurt us.

739. Don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay,

740. 'cause whatever's happening out there, it's gonna pass.

741. But until then, we're safe here, okay?

742. No one can get in.

743. - Are you sure?

744. Kendall, this is a really great idea, honey.

745. - Okay! Let her rip! - Gas on!

746. Love you!

747. - Wait here, okay?

748. - What? - Just wait here.

749. - Okay.

750. - What the fuck?

751. - I found Lisa outside by the bins.

752. That explains the mess in the kitchen.

753. - Ah.

754. I was wondering about that.

755. - Hmm.

756. - How long do you think it'll take?

757. - I don't know. It's a big basement.

758. We should hear them coughing.

759. - Throwing up.

760. - After that, we should be good to cut the door down.

761. - Josh, are you okay?

762. Hey, listen to me, okay?

763. You gotta stay with me, okay?

764. You have to stay with me.

765. I don't know why this is happening,

766. and I don't know—

767. I don't know what we could have done

768. or not done to change it,

769. but the fact is... is that...

770. is that Mom and Dad want to hurt us.

771. They... they want to kill us.

772. Okay, but we're not gonna let that happen, all right?

773. We're gonna get out of here.

774. - You gonna hurt them?

775. - Shh. Stay down. Go back.

776. Your nose.

777. Shh.

778. - Do it.

779. - Come on.

780. Come on.

781. - Ah! Fuck!

782. I don't see 'em.

783. Stand back.

784. - Stay. Stay.

785. - Damn it, Carly! - Get back here!

786. - Mom, no! Stop!

787. Stop! Mom!

788. - Hey.

789. - Mommy, I'm sorry. - I didn't mean to.

790. - Oh, no, no. No, honey.

791. Honey, it's okay.

792. You don't ever have to be afraid of me.

793. Oh, look how beautiful you are.

794. You did a good job.

795. Here.

796. Mwah.

797. Just a kiss of it.

798. There's your angel cheeks.

799. - Thank you for making me pretty, Mommy.

800. - Oh, honey, you were born that way.

801. There is nothing I want more in this world than to see you—

802. Honey.

803. - Mom. No!

804. Aah!

805. - Mrs. Ryan, no!

806. Carly. No!

807. - Mom! No! No!

808. - Let go of me! - No!

809. - No. No, no, no.

810. Baby, baby, Carly, it's okay. Shh. Shh. It's okay.

811. Raah!

812. - Mom! - It's okay, Carly.

813. - No!

814. - Holy shit!

815. - Mom, stop!

816. It's usually not this bad.

817. - I used to think my parents getting divorced

818. was the hugest tragedy of my life,

819. but ironically that shit doubled my chance of survival.

820. - Where's Mom?

821. - What? - Aaah!

822. - Mom, stop it!

823. - You're gonna hurt them! Mom!

824. No!

825. No! Mom, stop! Mom!

826. No!

827. - Damon?

828. Mom, please, no!

829. Come on. Josh, come on.

830. Stop!

831. - Sawzall.

832. Means it...

833. saws all.

834. Daddy, please, no.

835. I'm sorry I said that you have no life, okay?

836. I'm sorry that we don't talk anymore.

837. I'm sorry that we're not best frie—

838. - Shh! - Mom, we're a family.

839. We love each other. Even though you can't stand each other,

840. - that you give a shit. - Whatever. Whatever.

841. - Saws all.

842. - Close your eyes, bro. - Close your eyes.

843. - No! Stop!

844. - Shit. I forgot. Your parents.

845. - That was tonight?

846. God damn it.

847. Just a sec.

848. All right, all right. Hold your horses. Jesus!

849. Mom, Dad, listen.

850. Dad! Aah!

851. Gaah!

852. Oh!

853. Holy shit! Dad!

854. You killed me! You fucking killed me!

855. - Nah, bullshit.

856. I missed your gut, crybaby. I'm gonna get you now.

857. - Grandpa!

858. Please don't hurt Dad anymore. Please.

859. - Hey, there's my little piss and vinegar.

860. - Mom?

861. - Get your hands off me.

862. - No! You do not want to kill Brent.

863. Brent is your son.

864. - As if you ever gave a shit about him.

865. You were never good enough for him.

866. You're a whore.

867. Kendall's not even a real name!

868. - Dad, what are you doing?

869. No! Dad!

870. - Well...

871. you fucked up, son,

872. but what if I told you I fucked up even worse?

873. - How?

874. - Did you know that once upon a time,

875. the Firebird was Grandpa Mel's car?

876. It's true. He bought it brand-new in '79

877. right off the line, used his V.A. settlement.

878. Man, that car was his baby.

879. When I was little, I used to watch him

880. polish it on the front lawn every weekend.

881. And by the time I turned into a dumb, horny, pimple-faced high school kid

882. just like you're gonna be, it was officially a classic.

883. So long story short, I stole the keys, picked up my girlfriend.

884. Yeah, this is before I met your Mom.

885. Took it out for a little spin.

886. Pretty much totalled the motherfucker.

887. - Cool.

888. Mel didn't think so.

889. I thought he was gonna crush my skull.

890. But you know what he did? He sold it to me.

891. And it wasn't cheap either.

892. I'd have to pay him back every dime he put into it.

893. And if I wanted to drive my senior year, I better learn how to fix a car.

894. So I did. I spent the whole summer working two jobs, paid back my Dad.

895. "Here's $10, Dad. Here's $20, Dad. Here's $100, Dad."

896. By the end of the summer,

897. I had that bad boy cherried out from the ground up.

898. Now, you talk about a pussy magnet.

899. - Dad. - Chick magnet.

900. Hah! Whew.

901. Your Mom keeps telling me to sell it, but I just can't bear to let her go.

902. - Is that why Mom always says,

903. "I can't bear to think about what must have happened in that car"?

904. Because of the accident?

905. - No, no, buddy. Nah, she's talking about something else.

906. - I'm sorry I messed up, Dad.

907. - Hey, like father, like son, right?

908. But if you ever touch that car again...

909. I'll fuckin' kill you.

910. - Dad! No!

911. No, Dad!

912. Dad! Ahh! No!

913. - You won't be running any more!

914. Yeah.

915. - Get your claws off me, you goddamn filthy dinosaur!

916. - Fucking dinosaur? - I fought in wars, you little shit.

917. What have you done ever? Come on. Come on.

918. Now take this.

919. - No. Mom.

920. - Carly?

921. Sweetheart?

922. Hey, Mom.

923. - Hey, Dad.

924. - Buddy.

925. - Thank God you're all right.

926. Honey, okay, let us out, honey.

927. It's okay.

928. - I don't think so.

929. Joshua, come on, big guy.

930. Get the Sawzall. Cut us loose.

931. We want to trust you.

932. We really do.

933. But you don't make it easy.

934. - I love you, Dad.

935. - Oh, sweetie.

936. - I love you, Mom.

937. - Me, too.

938. - Don't you know we love you both

939. more than anything in the whole world?

940. - But sometimes we...

941. sometimes we...

942. just want to...