1. Mysteries in History,
with your host, Peter Graves.
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2. Although no one has ever been able
to prove their existence,
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3. a quasi-government agency,
the Men in Black,
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4. supposedly carries out operations
here on Earth
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5. in order to keep us safe from aliens
throughout the galaxies.
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6. Here is one of their stories
that "never happened"
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7. from one of their files
that doesn't exist.
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8. 1978. The leaders of Zartha
flee their planet
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9. in order to escape the clutches
of the evil Kylothian, Serleena.
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10. Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring
with them their greatest treasure:
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11. The Light of Zartha,
a cosmic force so powerful,
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12. that in the wrong hands it could
lead to the annihilation of Zartha.
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13. The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna,
beseeched the Men in Black,
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14. to hide the Light from Serleena.
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15. But they had no choice.
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16. Intervention would have meant
the destruction of the Earth.
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17. However, in an act of galactic bravery,
the Men in Black subdued Serleena,
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18. allowing the Zarthans to escape
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19. so they might hide the Light
on another planet.
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20. Serleena, released from her captors,
vowed that the Light would be hers,
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21. and that she would destroy
any planet that stood in her way.
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22. And so,
never knowing what happened,
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23. the people of Earth were saved
by a secret society of protectors
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24. known as the Men in Black.
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25. Harvey!
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26. Harvey, get over here!
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27. Harvey. Heel, heel!
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28. You're barking at the moon, moron.
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29. Harvey. Harvey!
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30. Harvey!
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31. Hey, pretty lady.
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32. You taste good.
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33. Hey, what the...?
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34. Yeah, you too.
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35. Nothing fancy, no heroics.
By the book.
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36. Got it. Hey!
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37. Ooh. Hey, Jeff.
What's happening, buddy?
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38. We were wondering why you're here.
The man's talking to you.
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39. You know our arrangements.
Stay in the E, F and R subway lines
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40. and you get all the garbage
you want.
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41. What the hell are you doing here,
worm boy?
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42. Uh, Tee. Jeff, uh...
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43. Ezcuse my partner.
He's new and he's...
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44. kind of stupid.
- Whoa!
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45. You getting big, Jeff.
Boy, what you been eating?
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46. Oh. You like jokes, huh?
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47. Jeffrey!
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48. Ah!
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49. All right.
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50. Sweet dreams, big boy.
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51. Sweet dreams...
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52. big boy.
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53. Transit authority.
Move to the forward car.
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54. We got a bug
in the electrical system.
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55. Yo! People! We got a bug
in the electrical system!
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56. Now y'all running?
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57. No, no, no! Sit down!
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58. It's only a 600-foot worm.
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59. Everybody out before I knock heads.
Put the hammer down on this thing.
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60. I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater.
I decide what happens.
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61. Oh, oh. You decide? Oh.
Okay, come here. Come here.
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62. Larry? That's my man, Jeff.
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63. Larry just made a decision.
Larry need to take his ass in there.
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64. Don't make me do this, Jeff!
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65. Eighty-first Street.
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66. Just a second.
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67. May I have your attention, please?
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68. We thank you
for participating in our drill.
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69. Had this been an emergency,
you'd have been eaten.
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70. Because you don't listen.
You're ignorant.
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71. How a man gonna bash through...?
That's the problem with New Yorkers.
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72. "We've seen it all. A 600-foot worm!
Save us, Mr. Black Man!"
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73. I ask you nice, "Move to the next
car." You just sit there like...
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74. Thank you for participating.
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75. Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller,
energy-efficient subway cars.
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76. Watch your step.
You will have a nice evening.
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77. I need a cleanup crew
at 81st and Central Park West.
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78. Revoke Jeff's movement privileges.
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79. Have him escorted
to the Chambers Street station.
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80. And please check the expiration date
on the unipod worm tranquilizers.
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81. Sorry, fellas. Station closed.
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82. Emergency drill. For your safety.
Do you believe these putzes?
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83. You're welcome.
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84. I know, by the book.
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85. Tee, when was the last time
we just looked at the stars?
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86. This is a test. I can do this.
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87. Ever feel like you're alone
in the universe?
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88. Yes.
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89. No.
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90. Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie.
Really?
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91. Thanks.
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92. Hey, you're not alone
in the universe.
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93. Remove the arm.
Okay.
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94. Please, shut up, Charlie.
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95. I'm tired of you constantly talking
behind my back.
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96. You meet a girl. She's into it.
The best line you come up with is:
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97. "Wanna come back to my place for
some tonsil hockey and egg salad?"
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98. Whoa! Who are you
and how'd you get in?
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99. You like egg salad?
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100. Serleena!
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101. Why didn't you say it was you?
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102. - Where's the Light?
- Here's the deal.
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103. You're looking for this Light.
We found it.
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104. You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill.
Here's how it'll work. First...
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105. Where is the Light?
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106. We couldn't find it, but we found
a guy who might know where it is.
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107. He runs a pizza parlor
on Spring Street.
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108. Let's go.
And wipe your nose, idiot.
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109. Mmm. Oh. Good pie.
Yeah.
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110. Crowded.
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111. Well, they got good pie.
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112. What is wrong with you?
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113. You're gonna neuralyze me.
No, I'm not.
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114. You took me here
so I wouldn't make a scene.
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115. You making a scene.
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116. Let me ask you a question.
Why did you join MiB?
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117. Six years in the Marines.
I like the action. Protect the planet.
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118. You like being a hero?
You joined the wrong organization.
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119. You ever heard of James Edwards?
No.
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120. Well, he saved the lives of 85 people
on the subway tonight.
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121. No one knows he exists.
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122. And if no one knows he exists,
how can anyone ever love him?
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123. Hey, how long we been partners?
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124. Feb 1.
Five months, three days.
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125. Started at noon.
Nine hours.
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126. Get married.
Have a bunch of kids.
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127. Okay.
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128. Ezcuse me. My buddy's kind of shy,
but he thinks you are hot.
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129. Here it is. Ta-da.
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130. Ben, I don't know what to say.
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131. Years from now,
you know what people'll say?
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132. "Employee" is spelled wrong?
Eh, they charge by the letter.
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133. They'll say, "Imagine that. Big shot
like her used to work here."
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134. Ben...
You deserve it.
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135. Bring up a case of Mountain Dew
from the basement.
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136. Hey, Bruno.
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137. Two slices of pepperoni and
information about the Light of Zartha.
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138. - Whoever you are, don't hurt me.
- Where's the Light, Ben?
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139. I don't know
what you're talking about.
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140. Let me down, ma'am.
I want to report a robbery...
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141. There.
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142. Noise.
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143. Kitchen!
Oh.
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144. You idiots see anything?
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145. Wind blew the door open.
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146. Nothing out of the ordinary.
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147. For 25 years, I've traveled
the universe looking for it.
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148. But it never left Earth, did it?
You kept it here.
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149. What are you talking about?
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150. I'm running out of time.
Where's the Light?
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151. - I don't know what you mean.
- Listen, Zarthan.
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152. You hid the Light on Earth.
I'll find it.
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153. Once we have the Light,
Zartha will be ours.
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154. You're too late.
Tomorrow at midnight,
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155. the Light will leave
the third planet and be back home.
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156. Sorry you made the trip for nothing.
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157. Now we don't know
if it's on Earth or not.
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158. He said third planet.
It's here, you idiot.
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159. Third Rock from the Sun.
I never got that till now.
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160. It's on Earth, and I know
who's gonna tell me where it is.
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161. Don't you ever go home?
Nope.
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162. I see you neuralyzed
another partner.
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163. Bee, Dee, when you use
a fission carbonizer,
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164. attach a de-atomizer
so it doesn't sound like a cannon.
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165. Hey, get some booties on them things.
You're crapping up the floor.
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166. Check his visa.
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167. The Cephalopods have been making
counterfeits at Kinko's on Canal.
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168. Why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph
going through passport control?
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169. That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry.
Please don't neuralyze me, sir.
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170. What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing, sir.
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171. Good work in the subway.
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172. I remember Jeff
when he was yea high.
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173. What you got for me?
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174. Look. See those guys in black suits?
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175. They work here. We got it covered.
Zed, what you got?
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176. Dedication's one thing, but this job
will eat you up and spit you out.
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177. You want to look like me
when you hit 50...
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178. ish?
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179. I'll be in the gym if you need me.
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180. All right, there was a killing earlier.
177 Spring.
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181. Alien-on-alien.
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182. Take Tee with you
and make a report.
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183. Um... Tee. Right.
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184. What happened...
What happened with Tee...
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185. Passports. No rush.
How they hanging, Jay?
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186. You have got to stop neuralyzing
MiB personnel.
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187. He was crying
in the middle of the diner.
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188. I hate that.
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189. And plus, you can't count Elle.
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190. She wanted to go back
to the morgue. I helped her.
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191. You need a partner.
I'm cool.
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192. I'll be his partner.
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193. Jay, wait up.
I appreciate the shot, man.
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194. Thought I'd never get out.
Lose the suit.
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195. Sure thing.
Just going for the look.
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196. But if I say so myself,
I find it slimming.
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197. Not that I've had problems
with the ladies.
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198. When you get down to... Whoa.
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199. Nice sled, very swank.
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200. Heated seats?
Sometimes I get hives.
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201. Frank!
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202. Bring your head in this window
before I roll it up in there.
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203. Got it.
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204. Frank!
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205. My money? It's missionary.
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206. I was in the Bowery,
and I meet this Great Dane.
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207. A little thick in the body,
but pretty.
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208. That's just not appealing
to me, man. Seriously.
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209. I say we do the good cop,
bad cop thing.
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210. You interrogate the witness
and I growl. Grrr!
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211. How about we do the good cop, dumb
dog thing, and you just shut up?
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212. - You got it, partner.
- Total silence.
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213. Absolute q uiet.
Not a word out of me.
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214. What do we got?
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215. Zip.
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216. What do we got?
There's residue on the wall.
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217. We sent samples to Em for analysis.
Hey, J ay, zero percent body fat.
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218. Funny.
Witness?
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219. Girl. Saw everything.
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220. She's taking it well.
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221. I won't answer any more questions.
I want to know what happened here.
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222. - I'll handle this one.
- You got it.
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223. Alone. A talking dog might be
a bit much for her now.
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224. What do you want me to do?
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225. Sniff around.
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226. What?
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227. Funny.
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228. - Take a deep breath.
- Everything is all right.
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229. What part is she supposed
to feel all right about?
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230. I'm Agent Jay.
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231. Tell me what you saw.
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232. A two-headed guy and a woman.
Caucasian?
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233. Gray, with tentacles
that she used to rip...
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234. His skin off.
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235. It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer
similar to the gum in baseball cards.
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236. What was the last thing you ate?
Calzone.
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237. What time?
Lunch.
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238. Spinach?
Mushroom.
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239. Hm.
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240. You need pie.
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241. They kept asking Ben about a light.
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242. Light of Zartha,
something like that.
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243. You okay?
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244. An hour ago, a man I've known
my whole life vanished
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245. because of a woman with
things coming out her fingers
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246. and a two-headed guy
with the IQ of a cannoli.
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247. So yeah, everything's okay.
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248. When we're kids,
before we're taught how to think,
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249. our hearts tell us there is
something else out there.
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250. I know what I saw.
Tell me what I'm supposed to believe.
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251. I'm a member of a secret organization
that monitors alien activity on Earth.
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252. Ben was an alien.
So were his killers.
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253. I don't know why they did it,
but I promise I'm gonna find out.
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254. Okay.
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255. Okay?
Okay.
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256. Okay.
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257. Uh... Uh...
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258. I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to...
Kill me.
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259. No! Ha-ha.
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260. Just a little flash and everything
goes back the way it was.
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261. After you flash me,
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262. if I see you again,
will I know it's you?
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263. I'll see you.
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264. But you won't see me.
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265. Must be hard.
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266. Must be very lonely.
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267. Ezcuse me.
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268. I gotta go.
What about the flashy thing?
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269. Uh... I'll flash you
some other time.
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270. What?
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271. Did you tell the girl you love her?
She's a witness to a crime. That's it.
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272. Yada, yada. You're attracted.
She's not my species, and I'm attracted.
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273. I should take advice on love from
a dude that chases his own ass?
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274. Easy, pal. That's canine profiling,
and I resent it.
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275. Hey, J ay, wait up.
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276. Coming through. MiB brass.
Look sharp.
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277. I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner.
Who are you eyeballing, huh?
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278. Frank, just cool out, dog.
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279. Got kids?
No.
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280. Want them?
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281. Get him off me!
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282. Talk to me.
It's Kylothian, class C.
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283. Serleena.
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284. Serleena. Old girlfriend?
She wishes.
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285. The perps were looking
for the Light of...
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286. Zartha.
Yeah, what is it?
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287. This makes no sense.
It's not on Earth.
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288. We took care of this a long time ago.
Obviously not.
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289. That is very bad news.
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290. The Zarthans came to Earth
to hide the Light from Serleena.
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291. We don't do that.
Right. I ordered it off the planet.
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292. Well, Zed...
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293. I got a Kylothian class C in my park.
Are you sure this Light isn't here?
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294. Positive. I gave the order.
My best agent carried it out.
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295. It's as if I gave the order to you.
Ask the agent.
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296. Can't.
Dead?
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297. Sort of. He works at the post office.
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298. No.
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299. If Serleena gets to Kay
before we do, he's dead.
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300. The Earth's very existence
may rest on what Kay knows.
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301. Too bad you wiped out
his memory of it.
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302. Bring him in.
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303. Now.
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304. - How cool is this? Going to get Kay.
- The legend, the go-to guy.
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305. Your mentor, the guy who taught you
everything you know.
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306. - The greatest agent in MiB history!
- Frank! Stop talking.
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307. Stay.
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308. Listen, partner. I may look like a dog,
but I only play one here on Earth.
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309. Whatever. Wipe your mouth.
Hey, babe.
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310. People of Truro,
may I kindly have your attention?
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311. To facilitate your shipping needs,
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312. all packages must be
properly wrapped.
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313. This one is an example of
"go home and do it again."
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314. I think you know what I mean,
Mrs. Vigushin. Heh, heh.
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315. Brown paper and triple-twist twine
are the preferred media.
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316. Thank you for your time.
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317. Kay.
C. Express mail, two-day air.
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318. Kevin. Heh. Wow.
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319. Kevin. That's funny.
You don't have a "Kevin"...
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320. You don't remember.
We worked together.
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321. I never worked in a funeral home.
Something I can do for you, slick?
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322. Straight to the point.
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323. You were an agent of an organization
that monitors aliens on Earth.
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324. We're the Men in Black. We have
a situation. We need your help.
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325. There is a free mental health clinic on
the corner of Lilac and East Valley.
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326. - Next.
- Excuse me.
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327. - Twenty Rugrats stamps.
- Elizabeth.
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328. The Postal Service hasn't kept up
with today's youth, but we have
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329. Berlin airlift stamps. Opera legends?
No. No.
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330. American Samoa? Amish quilts.
No.
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331. I'm sorry, got a world to save here.
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332. There was no coma.
It was a cover.
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333. Who are you?
Who are you?
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334. Postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts,
and I'm ordering you to leave.
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335. Is that decaf?
Sorry.
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336. We have a breach.
Cordon off this area.
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337. Full perimeter wipe-down,
right here, right now.
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338. Get a mop and escort all civilian
personnel from this site immediately.
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339. Listen to yourself, Kay.
Who talks like that?
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340. Boo.
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341. Why do you think you're
so comfortable here?
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342. Just about everybody who works
in a post office is an alien.
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343. No smoking.
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344. Kay.
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345. My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy
fly a tiger around a room.
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346. You're nothing special.
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347. When you look at the stars,
you get a feeling,
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348. like you don't know who you are.
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349. Like you know more about out there
than you do down here.
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350. That's why she left you, Kay.
That's why your wife left you.
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351. Okay, I'll tell you what.
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352. You want to know who you really are,
take a ride with me.
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353. If not, people are waiting
for their TV Guides.
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354. Think he'll bite?
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355. I'm just going for a ride. If things
don't add up, it's hasta luego.
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356. Hey, Kay.
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357. How's it hanging?
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358. Good to see you, Kay.
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359. Good to see you too,
whoever you are.
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360. Well, let's see
what you got here, chief.
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361. Welcome back, Agent Kay.
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362. Agent Kay.
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363. Greetings, Kay.
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364. Wow, look who's back.
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365. I don't mean to bother you...
You're Agent Kay!
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366. That's what they tell me.
This is an honor. Agent Gee.
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367. The most respected agent
in MiB history.
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368. The most feared human
in the universe.
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369. Maybe I could
buy you a cup of coffee?
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370. Black, two sugars, if you're going.
An honor.
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371. - Yeah, I'll take a... My man?
- Good to see you, Kay.
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372. How'd it go?
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373. The Drolacks are gone
and the treaty is signed.
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374. Good work.
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375. What about that position you
promised me in Men in Black?
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376. Still working on the alien
affirmative action program.
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377. That's not what you promised me.
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378. You're breaking up.
Zed? Hello?
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379. I'll call you back.
I could be Agent Em. Zed, you...
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380. I think Earth might be in a bad way.
You're the only one that could save it.
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381. Well, neither rain, sleet, snow...
Good man.
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382. Get him armed and up to speed
and over to deneuralyzation.
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383. Frank?
Yeah?
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384. I'm gonna need them together
on this one.
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385. Ouch.
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386. I need an assistant. It's not
field work, but you get dental.
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387. Dental?
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388. The most advanced technologies from all
over the universe are in this room.
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389. What's this?
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390. All is lost! All is lost!
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391. Don't touch that!
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392. I didn't do anything.
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393. Hands in your pockets.
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394. Your favorite weapon.
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395. That?
Yep.
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396. Let's go put it on.
What?
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397. The last suit you'll ever wear.
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398. Again.
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399. The...
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400. The deneuralyzer.
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401. Magneto-energy will surge
through your brain,
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402. unlocking information that could hold
the key to Earth's very survival.
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403. Okay. What's that thing?
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404. The deneuralyzer.
Copy !req
405. - Welcome to planet Earth.
- There are some rules and regulations.
Copy !req
406. Go out only at night.
Copy !req
407. If you must go out during the
daylight, only the East Village.
Copy !req
408. Hey, hey, hey!
Copy !req
409. Name and planet of origin?
Copy !req
410. Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn.
Kaluth system.
Copy !req
411. Any fruits or vegetables?
Yeah, two heads of cabbage.
Copy !req
412. Reason for visit?
Copy !req
413. Education. I want to learn
how to be an underwear model.
Copy !req
414. They told me I've got real potential.
Hmm?
Copy !req
415. Help! Heart attack!
Copy !req
416. Clear!
Copy !req
417. Wake up, champ!
Copy !req
418. Oh, jeez.
Copy !req
419. Lockdown. Code 101.
Copy !req
420. Lockdown.
Copy !req
421. This is not good.
This is not good.
Copy !req
422. Breach! We're being flushed.
Copy !req
423. Flushed?
Yep.
Copy !req
424. Ever been to a water park?
I don't know.
Copy !req
425. Whoo! Heh. Flushed. Heh.
Copy !req
426. Yeah, man, back when you was
an agent, you loved getting flushed.
Copy !req
427. Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd
be like, "Flush me, Jay. Flush me."
Copy !req
428. I'd be like, "No."
Copy !req
429. You can't quit on me.
Copy !req
430. I save the world, you tell me
why I stare at the stars.
Copy !req
431. Cool.
Copy !req
432. Hop in.
Hop in what?
Copy !req
433. Does that come standard?
It came with a black dude,
Copy !req
434. but he kept getting pulled over.
Yep.
Copy !req
435. Silly little planet. I could rule the place
with the right set of mammary glands.
Copy !req
436. Trapped like rats
Copy !req
437. in a Chia Pet.
Copy !req
438. Computer, surveillance MiB.
Copy !req
439. Hmm. MiB is locked down.
Copy !req
440. Computer, magnify. Times 10.
Copy !req
441. Communicator. Frank.
Copy !req
442. - Jay, where are you?
- We got flushed.
Copy !req
443. MiB is code 101.
Yeah, who did it?
Copy !req
444. Some hot-looking biker chick.
Want me to tail her?
Copy !req
445. Stay where you are. I'll be in touch.
Stay where I am. Easy for you to say.
Copy !req
446. Find Kay?
Neuralyzed.
Copy !req
447. Not active. Civilian.
What?
Copy !req
448. He was...
Here.
Copy !req
449. To get...
Deneuralyzed.
Copy !req
450. Memory's shot. But we'll find him.
Don't put anything in our ears.
Copy !req
451. What?
Copy !req
452. What do you make of that?
Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh?
Copy !req
453. Yeah, you're smiling.
Is that the only deneuralyzer?
Copy !req
454. Officially. The plans leaked out
on the Internet.
Copy !req
455. Computer, Internet.
Copy !req
456. Deneuralyzer.
Copy !req
457. Perfect. It's an old friend.
Copy !req
458. Jay, ain't seen you in a while.
Copy !req
459. Did you peep that drop-top thing
out front?
Copy !req
460. My business is banging, dog.
Copy !req
461. You gotta check out the website.
It's Jeebsie dot...
Copy !req
462. Okay, whoa. He's retired, right?
Copy !req
463. We need the deneuralyzer.
Copy !req
464. You're kidding.
The meter's running, Jeebs.
Copy !req
465. Do you remember me?
Copy !req
466. Can't say I do.
I'm good with faces.
Copy !req
467. Heh. I think I'd remember that.
Copy !req
468. The great Kay's a neutral.
Copy !req
469. You're between me and my memories.
Do you have this deneuralyzer or not?
Copy !req
470. No.
Copy !req
471. Fresh out.
Copy !req
472. Can't help you. Heh.
Copy !req
473. Don't got it.
Copy !req
474. Even if I did, if it doesn't work,
he dies, you blow my head off.
Copy !req
475. If it does, I've brought back Kay,
who, for fun, blows my head off.
Copy !req
476. So, what's my incentive?
Copy !req
477. Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs
nezt to the snow blowers.
Copy !req
478. Alien prisoners released,
armed and ready for your orders.
Copy !req
479. Prisoners of MiB,
the scum of the universe.
Copy !req
480. Now it's the scum's turn.
Copy !req
481. I'm in a jam,
so I'll make this simple.
Copy !req
482. I need the Light of Zartha,
and Kay knows where it is.
Copy !req
483. Whoever brings Kay to me
gets Earth.
Copy !req
484. Find a deneuralyzer.
They want his memory back.
Copy !req
485. Check.
Copy !req
486. Now.
Copy !req
487. Jarra, good to see you.
Copy !req
488. Okay, that should do it.
Copy !req
489. If I could have your attention while
we go over the safety procedures.
Copy !req
490. Keep your hands inside
the vehicle.
Copy !req
491. If, during the ride,
you become disoriented,
Copy !req
492. there's nothing we can do about it.
Copy !req
493. Have you removed all your jewelry?
Copy !req
494. Are you allergic to shellfish?
Jeebs!
Copy !req
495. Right, then!
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
Copy !req
496. Have you used this before?
Copy !req
497. I used it to make some
hot-air popcorn. That's about it.
Copy !req
498. Okay! Let's make it happen, cap'n!
Copy !req
499. Hm.
Copy !req
500. Perfect.
Copy !req
501. You're back.
No.
Copy !req
502. How'd you know
his head grows back?
Copy !req
503. It grows back?
Copy !req
504. Real nice. Okay, that's the
last time I help out a friend.
Copy !req
505. Kay, you remember anything?
Goodbye.
Copy !req
506. Kay!
Kay, wait!
Copy !req
507. I never got the updated software.
Still working off the 6.0.
Copy !req
508. Your brain needs to reboot.
Copy !req
509. Give it a minute.
Copy !req
510. Kay!
Copy !req
511. Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry.
I hope it won't affect our friendship.
Copy !req
512. Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry.
I hope it won't affect our friendship.
Copy !req
513. All those years of loyalty and trust,
respect for one another.
Copy !req
514. Right over there!
Copy !req
515. - Where's Kay?
- He's not here! He went...
Copy !req
516. Kay's retired. I'm his
trigger-happy replacement.
Copy !req
517. - Right in the pie hole.
- Now nothing's gonna taste right.
Copy !req
518. Lower your weapon.
No.
Copy !req
519. Jay, how are you, boo-boo?
Copy !req
520. These guys really need Kay.
He's a neutral.
Copy !req
521. Tell me something we don't know.
Yeah, tell me something... Achoo!
Copy !req
522. I am so sorry.
Copy !req
523. God bless you.
Thank you.
Copy !req
524. If I don't bring Kay back to MiB,
Serleena's gonna kick my ass.
Copy !req
525. Now, where is he?
Where is who?
Copy !req
526. You don't look too good.
Copy !req
527. Yeah, and you look like crap.
Copy !req
528. I take that back. He look like crap.
Copy !req
529. Bend him!
Bend him.
Copy !req
530. Wait, don't bend him.
Copy !req
531. Hey, honey, how you doing?
Copy !req
532. Damn decent of you.
Copy !req
533. Don't mention it.
Copy !req
534. I'm gonna be sick.
You don't wanna do that.
Copy !req
535. Fellas, I think he's telling the truth.
Then he's no good to us.
Copy !req
536. Didn't I teach you anything, kid?
Pineal eye!
Copy !req
537. Go for the mosh tendrils!
Copy !req
538. Kay, he's a ball-chinnian.
Oh.
Copy !req
539. You were in a tight spot.
I handled it.
Copy !req
540. You need a partner.
I had one. J ob got too tough.
Copy !req
541. I'm back. You got some dust
on your coat.
Copy !req
542. So you got your memory back.
Yeah.
Copy !req
543. What the hell is going on?
Don't know.
Copy !req
544. The Light of Zartha?
Never heard of it.
Copy !req
545. Cool.
Copy !req
546. You don't remember
the Light of Zartha?
Copy !req
547. Must've neuralyzed myself
to keep it from myself.
Copy !req
548. Good plan. What you doing?
I do the driving.
Copy !req
549. Wait, no. Whoa, whoa.
I remember that.
Copy !req
550. What you remember is you used
to drive that old, busted jawn.
Copy !req
551. I drive the new hotness.
Copy !req
552. Old and busted, new hotness.
Copy !req
553. Old busted hotness.
Copy !req
554. - Serleena, please.
- Been a long time, Zed.
Copy !req
555. I'm just touched you remembered me.
Makes me fuzzy all over.
Copy !req
556. Never forget a pretty
whatever you are.
Copy !req
557. Unh!
Zed?
Copy !req
558. Zed? Look at you.
Copy !req
559. Twenty-five years,
and you're still such a looker.
Copy !req
560. Cut out the meat and dairy.
Copy !req
561. And you, still a pile of squirmy
crap in a different wrapper.
Copy !req
562. So feisty.
Look, we both need the same thing.
Copy !req
563. Bring him in.
Copy !req
564. Don't think so.
Copy !req
565. What about the Light's secret?
If it's not off Earth by midnight,
Copy !req
566. it self-destructs,
annihilating your little planet.
Copy !req
567. I lose, you lose.
I win, everything keeps spinning.
Copy !req
568. You don't want the Light on Earth
any more than I do.
Copy !req
569. All right, Serleena.
Copy !req
570. You win.
Copy !req
571. - Zed? Is that you?
- I could be Agent Em.
Copy !req
572. Zed. Hello?
Copy !req
573. So feisty.
Copy !req
574. Fastest way back to MiB,
you take this right on 39th.
Copy !req
575. Right here. Right.
Copy !req
576. Next right on 37th.
Copy !req
577. Right here.
Thirty... Thirty... Right!
Copy !req
578. We're not going back to MiB.
Copy !req
579. Headquarters has been breached.
We need to peel caps and split wigs.
Copy !req
580. Not ready.
Copy !req
581. Look, you've been out for five years.
That's a long time.
Copy !req
582. I understand you're scared.
I'm a little scared too.
Copy !req
583. I'm not scared.
Me neither.
Copy !req
584. I just thought we was bonding.
Copy !req
585. You're acting like a rookie.
Splitting wigs and stepping on caps.
Copy !req
586. No wonder Zed brought me back.
He did it because you messed up.
Copy !req
587. Your attitude makes for
a stressful environment.
Copy !req
588. Tell it to the hand.
Stressful is what we got back at MiB.
Copy !req
589. Ezactly. Serleena broke into MiB
in order to lure me back.
Copy !req
590. Into a trap.
Copy !req
591. Which is why we can't
bust in there.
Copy !req
592. We need a plan. Where we going?
Scene of the crime?
Copy !req
593. You're the boss.
Scene of the crime. That's a left.
Copy !req
594. - I'll contact the witness.
- We'll talk to her.
Copy !req
595. - Things have changed.
- We used to neuralyze witnesses.
Copy !req
596. See, originally, I'd, um...
Copy !req
597. No, I was going to, uh...
I interrogated her.
Copy !req
598. - Then neuralyzed her?
- What?
Copy !req
599. - Then neuralyzed her?
- What?
Copy !req
600. MiB code 773/I-1 clearly states
that all civilian personnel...
Copy !req
601. Drop that weapon!
No, no, no!
Copy !req
602. Jay, I'm... I'm sorry.
Copy !req
603. No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault.
Uh... Uh...
Copy !req
604. Kay, my partner.
Laura, the witness.
Copy !req
605. Pleasure.
Copy !req
606. Thanks for sending those agents over
to keep an eye on me last night.
Copy !req
607. MiB procedural code 594-B
Copy !req
608. states that MiB personnel
shall never be used...
Copy !req
609. Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here.
I assume the perp was over here.
Copy !req
610. Ben.
Copy !req
611. Was he 5'7", thinning hair?
You knew him?
Copy !req
612. Nope. Never seen him before
in my life.
Copy !req
613. That is a hell of a fish.
Copy !req
614. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
615. You left yourself clues?
Copy !req
616. In case I was deneuralyzed because
my replacement couldn't handle it.
Copy !req
617. If the joker that had got deneuralyzed
hadn't created the situation...
Copy !req
618. Boys.
Copy !req
619. All right.
You pointing at something.
Copy !req
620. Okay.
Copy !req
621. Ezcuse me.
Copy !req
622. The astronaut.
Copy !req
623. Jay?
Copy !req
624. Okay, all right. He's pointing...
Copy !req
625. He's like... He like...
Copy !req
626. Who would stack boxes like this?
Copy !req
627. A box stacker who's not
stacking boxes. He's leaving clues.
Copy !req
628. It's an arrow.
Copy !req
629. Jay?
You're slowing me down, slick.
Copy !req
630. Whatever we're looking for
is in these cabinets, right here.
Copy !req
631. Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil.
Copy !req
632. I hope I'm not slowing you down.
Copy !req
633. Good work, partner. Yeah.
Copy !req
634. We gotta figure out where it goes.
I know where.
Copy !req
635. Whoa. No. Not yet.
MiB code 773 clearly says...
Copy !req
636. I know the code,
but she might be important to me.
Copy !req
637. To us. Well, for help.
To help us later.
Copy !req
638. Well, she can't stay here.
They'll be back.
Copy !req
639. You can stay with friends of mine.
People like you?
Copy !req
640. Kind of.
Copy !req
641. Jay!
Copy !req
642. Low bridge!
What's going on, man?
Copy !req
643. Hey, what's happening, fellas?
MiB is code 101.
Copy !req
644. Bad.
Very bad.
Copy !req
645. - I need your help. This is Laura.
- Laura!
Copy !req
646. Easy, easy!
Copy !req
647. They're worms.
Copy !req
648. Once you go worm,
that's what you'll yearn.
Copy !req
649. Yaah.
Copy !req
650. That's what they say. They just:
I've dated worse.
Copy !req
651. They're suspended
for stealing from duty-free shop.
Copy !req
652. We were framed.
Zed's wormophobic.
Copy !req
653. - Kay!
- You're back!
Copy !req
654. They said you were dead.
We're double-parked.
Copy !req
655. Laura's very important to me.
Copy !req
656. To us. To the stuff... Me and you,
man, the stuff we're doing.
Copy !req
657. Keep an eye on her.
I'll keep both on her.
Copy !req
658. No problem!
Copy !req
659. Hey, hey, hey!
Copy !req
660. Why don't you sit here?
Like you got a shot.
Copy !req
661. Hey, shut up!
Copy !req
662. My communicator,
in case you need it.
Copy !req
663. Ooh. Ha-ha.
Copy !req
664. Nice move.
Okay. Um...
Copy !req
665. Oh. Uh...
Copy !req
666. Just watch out for Neeble.
Which one's Neeble?
Copy !req
667. Um, he's...
Copy !req
668. Which one of y'all is Neeble?
Yo, mama!
Copy !req
669. Ah. Him, right there. It's fine.
Everything's straight. It's safe.
Copy !req
670. Don't fall asleep.
Copy !req
671. Twister!
Copy !req
672. Run over your plan one more time.
I'm struggling with it.
Copy !req
673. You neuralyzed memory of the
Light but left yourself clues.
Copy !req
674. Right.
Copy !req
675. Photo pointing to a key in a pizzeria
which opens a locker at Grand Central.
Copy !req
676. In the locker, we'll find another clue.
That's the plan.
Copy !req
677. Ah.
Copy !req
678. I like to keep my enemies confused.
We all confused, Kay.
Copy !req
679. Are you gonna slow me down?
Copy !req
680. Your brain's working on old software.
Copy !req
681. Why don't you go
grab us some coffee?
Copy !req
682. Sure. How do you take it? Black?
Couple cubes of kiss my ass?
Copy !req
683. I don't know what's in there,
so step back.
Copy !req
684. Kay, for real, man.
Open the damn locker.
Copy !req
685. Kay! He's back! The light giver!
Copy !req
686. All hail Kay! All hail Kay!
Copy !req
687. You are the man who would be
king of the train locker.
Copy !req
688. Praise Kay!
Copy !req
689. Oh, good and gentle townfolk
of Locker C-18,
Copy !req
690. did I leave anything here?
Yes. The timekeeper.
Copy !req
691. Left to illuminate our streets
and hearts.
Copy !req
692. - I've been looking everywhere for this.
- Merciful one! The clock tower!
Copy !req
693. I got y'all, it's cool.
Check this out.
Copy !req
694. Titanium case.
Waterproof to over 300 meters.
Copy !req
695. That's banging.
Who are you, stranger?
Copy !req
696. - Jay.
- Hmm.
Copy !req
697. All hail Jay!
All hail Jay!
Copy !req
698. Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of...
Come on.
Copy !req
699. - Wait! The commandments!
- The tablet!
Copy !req
700. - The tablet! The tablet!
- The tablet! The tablet!
Copy !req
701. We have lived by its word, and peace
has reigned throughout our world.
Copy !req
702. Pass it on to others! So that they too
may be enlightened!
Copy !req
703. Be kind! Rewind!
Copy !req
704. Reconcile your past,
Copy !req
705. in order to move tranquilly
into your future!
Copy !req
706. Two for one every Wednesday.
Copy !req
707. Give twice as much as ye receive
on our most sacred of days.
Copy !req
708. Every Wednesday.
Copy !req
709. Large adult entertainment section
in the back.
Copy !req
710. That's just nasty.
Copy !req
711. What's with the video card?
Don't know.
Copy !req
712. The watch?
A reminder.
Copy !req
713. Of what?
Can't remember.
Copy !req
714. Guess.
Copy !req
715. I guess we have till midnight,
that's 59 minutes to figure it out.
Copy !req
716. Look. Here's an idea. Let's stop
chasing butt-backwards clues,
Copy !req
717. get a couple fission carbonizers
and get our headquarters back.
Copy !req
718. It's all about to make sense, kid.
Copy !req
719. Is this card valid?
Copy !req
720. - This card hasn't been used in years.
- I've been away on business.
Copy !req
721. - Billions of frequent flier miles.
- Try and use them.
Copy !req
722. I wanted to go to Cambodia. You can
get a lobster dinner for a dollar.
Copy !req
723. The airlines black out holidays.
It's a conspiracy, I'm sure, I mean...
Copy !req
724. Can you tell us anything
about the account?
Copy !req
725. You never checked out a tape.
Copy !req
726. You reserved one once,
but you never picked it up.
Copy !req
727. Newton.
There's a rat in the toilet.
Copy !req
728. It's all stopped up.
You're gonna have to pee in the sin...
Copy !req
729. Still think I'm paranoid?
Yeah.
Copy !req
730. Gentlemen, my name is Newton.
I run the place. Seen any aliens lately?
Copy !req
731. You need professional help.
He's getting it. It's not working.
Copy !req
732. Okay, so, new case, huh?
Copy !req
733. Episode 27, Light of Zartha.
Copy !req
734. Got it.
Copy !req
735. Jarra, it's a sin they've kept
a genius like you locked away.
Copy !req
736. Their agent Jay caught me siphoning
ozone to sell on the black market.
Copy !req
737. They're touchy
about global warming.
Copy !req
738. I need a spacecraft that can travel
300 times the speed of light.
Copy !req
739. I'll give you
whatever you want.
Copy !req
740. Give me Jay. We'll call it even.
Groovy.
Copy !req
741. You've got till midnight.
Copy !req
742. Gatbot, I got a little
something special for you.
Copy !req
743. Newton? Newton, is that you?
Copy !req
744. Yes, Mom, I'm up here
with some friends.
Copy !req
745. I wanna have your baby.
Copy !req
746. Would you like some mini-pizza?
Copy !req
747. You guys want some mini-pizzas?
They're good.
Copy !req
748. They're like mini-bagels,
with pizza stuff on them.
Copy !req
749. She'll put
a little fontina cheese on.
Copy !req
750. She has palsy, so she ends
up putting a lot of cheese on.
Copy !req
751. No, thanks, we're cool.
Copy !req
752. All right.
Copy !req
753. Over here.
Copy !req
754. - This is it.
- Hm.
Copy !req
755. Finally some hard evidence.
Copy !req
756. Gentlemen, before I play the tape,
one question:
Copy !req
757. What's up with anal probing?
Copy !req
758. Aliens travel billions of light
years just to check out our...
Copy !req
759. Boy, move.
Copy !req
760. Okay. Just a question.
Copy !req
761. Here is one of their stories
that "never happened"
Copy !req
762. from one of their files
that doesn't exist.
Copy !req
763. 1978. Devastating war of Zartha
had raged on for 50 years.
Copy !req
764. Hm, looks like Spielberg's work.
Copy !req
765. But the Zarthans had
a great treasure, the Light of Zartha.
Copy !req
766. A source of power so awesome,
it alone
Copy !req
767. could mean victory and restoration
for the Zarthans
Copy !req
768. or complete annihilation, if it
fell into the hands of the Kylothians.
Copy !req
769. A group of Zarthans
made the journey,
Copy !req
770. led by the Keeper of the Light...
Copy !req
771. Lauranna.
Copy !req
772. Princess Lauranna.
Copy !req
773. Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black
to help her hide the Light on Earth.
Copy !req
774. But they could not intervene.
Copy !req
775. No.
Copy !req
776. It was night.
Copy !req
777. And it was raining.
Copy !req
778. You've been very wise.
Copy !req
779. Kay, please. If Serleena takes
the Light, it's the end of our world.
Copy !req
780. If we extend protection for the Light
beyond Earth,
Copy !req
781. we put Earth in jeopardy.
We must remain neutral.
Copy !req
782. - Where is it?
- We're neutral, remember?
Copy !req
783. If you want it, go get it.
Copy !req
784. No!
Copy !req
785. And so never knowing it happened,
Copy !req
786. the people of Earth
were once again saved
Copy !req
787. by a secret society of protectors...
Copy !req
788. I shouldn't have.
Copy !req
789. You never sent it off the planet.
Copy !req
790. You hid it here.
Copy !req
791. The worm guys.
Copy !req
792. Are you one of Newton's
friends from therapy?
Copy !req
793. - Yes, ma'am, I am.
- Look here, please.
Copy !req
794. Would you like some mini-pizz...?
Copy !req
795. A neuralyz...
Copy !req
796. Okay, first, get some contact lenses.
Copy !req
797. Joints look like they pick up cable.
Copy !req
798. Second, take her to Cambodia. Get
her lobster. Pay more than a dollar.
Copy !req
799. Third, the second y'all get back
from Cambodia,
Copy !req
800. move your bum ass
out of your mom's house.
Copy !req
801. - Let's go.
- Boy, you like 40 years old.
Copy !req
802. Agent Jay?
All right, all right.
Copy !req
803. Oh. And there ain't no such thing
as aliens or Men in Black.
Copy !req
804. You wanna go to Cambodia?
Yeah.
Copy !req
805. Hey, Mom?
Copy !req
806. Communicator, Jay.
Copy !req
807. Laura, it's me.
Jay, we're playing Twister.
Copy !req
808. What's up, Jay?
Copy !req
809. Quit touching my butt!
I thought it was your face.
Copy !req
810. They're good at this.
They don't have spines.
Copy !req
811. Oh. They were telling me about
Oprah, from Chicago.
Copy !req
812. Maybe landed in Chicago. Ha-ha-ha.
Copy !req
813. - Are you wearing a bracelet?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
814. Is it glowing?
Copy !req
815. It's never done that before.
We're on our way.
Copy !req
816. Communicator, Frank.
Copy !req
817. - Frank, get down to Level C.
- Deactivate lockdown.
Copy !req
818. We're headed to the worm guys.
We found the Light.
Copy !req
819. Got it, Jay.
Copy !req
820. Scrad?
Copy !req
821. Bitch.
Copy !req
822. Why didn't you say I love you?
Copy !req
823. He's a dog. I don't even like him.
No, the girl. You're sweet on her.
Copy !req
824. That's why you didn't neuralyze her.
You got emotionally involved.
Copy !req
825. Like you did with Lauranna?
I put the entire planet in danger.
Copy !req
826. I don't want to see you
making my mistakes.
Copy !req
827. Whatever, man.
Copy !req
828. Laura?
Copy !req
829. Oi.
Copy !req
830. Damn!
Copy !req
831. Never stood half a chance.
Copy !req
832. Oh, boy.
Copy !req
833. Unh. That's gonna leave a scar.
Copy !req
834. Where's Laura?
Copy !req
835. MiB headquarters.
Some dumb two-headed guy.
Copy !req
836. They got the bracelet.
Copy !req
837. We got 39 minutes.
You guys, um,
Copy !req
838. pull yourselves together.
Copy !req
839. Damn.
Copy !req
840. Oh, that's feeling better.
Copy !req
841. - Hey, guys, wait up!
- Let me grab my drink!
Copy !req
842. Serleena has the bracelet.
Why take Laura?
Copy !req
843. She also wants me.
Copy !req
844. What's the book say?
We're off book. I say split some wigs.
Copy !req
845. We need wig-splitting weapons.
Got them.
Copy !req
846. Ah. Paw Paw's coming to visit me.
Hello, Paw Paw.
Copy !req
847. Paw Paw and ZuZu love to see
what's going on in the garden.
Copy !req
848. Don't worry, folks. I used to live
here. Came to pick up a few things.
Copy !req
849. Nice place.
Copy !req
850. Hoo-ah.
Copy !req
851. Hoo-eeh.
Copy !req
852. Yah!
Copy !req
853. See you.
Copy !req
854. You did not see a room
full of weapons or four aliens.
Copy !req
855. You will cherish and love each
other for the rest of your lives.
Copy !req
856. Which could be the nezt 28 minutes,
so get to loving and cherishing.
Copy !req
857. Oh. And she can stay up
as late as she want
Copy !req
858. and have cookies
and candy and stuff.
Copy !req
859. Four minutes to launch.
Copy !req
860. Four minutes to launch.
Copy !req
861. Your ship is ready.
Good. Send it to Kyloth now.
Copy !req
862. Ready, guys?
Copy !req
863. Lock and load, baby.
Copy !req
864. You ready, kid?
Kid?
Copy !req
865. I saved the world
from a Kreelon invasion.
Copy !req
866. They're the Backstreet Boys of the universe.
They throw snowballs?
Copy !req
867. Know what you're doing?
Copy !req
868. I'm about to attack one
of the most feared aliens
Copy !req
869. with four worms and a mailman.
Let's make it hot.
Copy !req
870. No, no, wait!
Copy !req
871. A code 101 lockdown!
Copy !req
872. The building gets pressurized.
Nothing in, nothing out. I knew that.
Copy !req
873. Yeah, you knew.
Front and center, worms!
Copy !req
874. You got it.
Copy !req
875. It's about time you guys got here.
That lady is causing all kinds of hell.
Copy !req
876. Yummy. Someone I need to eat.
Copy !req
877. Get to the launch pad.
The bracelet shows the departure point.
Copy !req
878. Do not come back for me.
What do you mean?
Copy !req
879. Do not come back for me.
Copy !req
880. Worm guys,
give me some cover fire.
Copy !req
881. Too scared, can't move.
Copy !req
882. Go!
Copy !req
883. Limber.
Go to subcontrol panel 7-R-Delta.
Copy !req
884. Shut off power so they can't take off.
Can't. Too scared.
Copy !req
885. Oh, that way.
Away from the bullets.
Copy !req
886. No problem. Hoo-ah.
Copy !req
887. Alley-oop.
Copy !req
888. Nice to see you again, Kay.
Copy !req
889. 3 minutes to launch.
Jay!
Copy !req
890. Three minutes to launch.
Copy !req
891. Hello, Jay. Long time.
Copy !req
892. Jarra! What's up, man?
You look great.
Copy !req
893. What's it been? Five years?
And 42 days.
Copy !req
894. You count every one
when you're locked away.
Copy !req
895. You shouldn't have tried to steal
our ozone. Be there in one minute.
Copy !req
896. Over our dead titanium bodies!
Copy !req
897. Two minutes.
Copy !req
898. Uh, let's play this one by ear.
Copy !req
899. I should have vaporized you before.
You really did love Lauranna.
Copy !req
900. Didn't you, Kay?
Copy !req
901. You silly little man.
Copy !req
902. Unh! Aah!
Ha-ha.
Copy !req
903. Ow! Aah!
Copy !req
904. Two minutes to launch.
Copy !req
905. Just go, I'll be fine!
Copy !req
906. What you talking about?
I'm winning.
Copy !req
907. Jarra, you are under arrest
for being that ugly,
Copy !req
908. and for making that many copies.
Surrender!
Copy !req
909. I want him in pieces.
Copy !req
910. Aah! Whoo!
Copy !req
911. Jarra Jr. Is going, going,
Copy !req
912. gone!
Copy !req
913. - Rectum.
- Damn near killed him!
Copy !req
914. Never get tired of that one.
Copy !req
915. Where do we shut off the power?
Copy !req
916. I don't know.
Copy !req
917. - I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute.
- No, he won't.
Copy !req
918. Uh-huh. Down to one now, Jarra!
Copy !req
919. Thirty seconds to launch.
Copy !req
920. Fifteen seconds to launch.
Copy !req
921. Ten seconds to launch.
Copy !req
922. Eight.
Copy !req
923. Seven.
Copy !req
924. Six.
Copy !req
925. Five.
Copy !req
926. Four.
Copy !req
927. Three. Two.
Copy !req
928. Launch terminated.
Copy !req
929. What did you mean, leave you?
Well, he took your gun.
Copy !req
930. Cracked your head.
Slammed you across the room.
Copy !req
931. Half the time you were on your back.
Look, that's how I fight.
Copy !req
932. You've lost, you insignificant speck.
Copy !req
933. You've wasted 25 years
of my time, and for what?
Copy !req
934. The total annihilation of Zartha.
All because you went mushy.
Copy !req
935. I'll give you one last chance to
surrender, you slimy invertebrate.
Copy !req
936. What are you gonna do to stop me?
Not me. Him.
Copy !req
937. Your flight's been canceled.
Copy !req
938. Shut down power. Shut down power.
Buttons, buttons. I'm guessing, uh...
Copy !req
939. Yeah.
Copy !req
940. - Worms!
- Sorry.
Copy !req
941. Give me the bracelet.
I'm going with you.
Copy !req
942. Everybody in the car.
Everybody.
Copy !req
943. This bracelet is what
everybody's been after?
Copy !req
944. It's often something small.
Copy !req
945. It's not the Light.
It tells us the departure point.
Copy !req
946. What?
If we don't get there in 11 minutes,
Copy !req
947. that bracelet will go nuclear
and destroy Earth.
Copy !req
948. What?
Copy !req
949. Hello.
Oh.
Copy !req
950. Wait, Kay, no.
I know what I'm doing.
Copy !req
951. Damn.
Copy !req
952. Modified to hyper-speed!
Seat belts.
Copy !req
953. What's that?
Copy !req
954. At hyper-speed, you have
to use the navigational stalk.
Copy !req
955. - Toggle switches for the ailerons.
- Joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder.
Copy !req
956. Okay.
Copy !req
957. I just want you to know...
Copy !req
958. Hold on to that for one second.
Copy !req
959. Computer, worms.
Copy !req
960. I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me to kick your
skinny Zone Diet ass, turn around and exit the planet."
Copy !req
961. Frank, where are you?
Copy !req
962. Main hall, egg display.
Copy !req
963. We're taking fire.
Kay pushed the red button.
Copy !req
964. Computer at MiB can destroy
bogey. I'll walk you through it.
Copy !req
965. Jay? Frank. You were the best darn
partner a Remoolian could ever have.
Copy !req
966. Godspeed.
Copy !req
967. Frank? Frank?
Okay, here we go, automatic pilot.
Copy !req
968. It is not automatic piloting.
He doesn't operate at hyper-speed.
Copy !req
969. I could use a steering wheel here!
This is what we got.
Copy !req
970. Didn't you ever have a Game Boy?
What is a Game Boy?
Copy !req
971. You know what? Move. Move.
Okay.
Copy !req
972. Oh! Hey, that is not
the navigational stalk!
Copy !req
973. Okay, straight down.
Copy !req
974. Idiots.
Copy !req
975. Subway may not be the best place
Copy !req
976. to lose her.
Shh.
Copy !req
977. Where is he?
He?
Copy !req
978. Jeff. Hang on!
Copy !req
979. Oops.
Copy !req
980. Teeth.
Copy !req
981. Running out of time, Kay.
Where is the Light?
Copy !req
982. Right here.
Copy !req
983. What?
What, I'm the Light?
Copy !req
984. No. No way.
You have a planet to save.
Copy !req
985. You're mistaken. I work at a pizzeria.
Copy !req
986. Two days ago, I was running a post
office. You are who you are.
Copy !req
987. Laura, you are the Light.
Copy !req
988. The leader of your people.
Their spirit and their hope.
Copy !req
989. The power is within you
to save a planet.
Copy !req
990. I protected you until it was
your time. Your time is now.
Copy !req
991. - You will save a world.
- You know things before they happen.
Copy !req
992. I'm a Libra.
You're Zarthan.
Copy !req
993. When you get sad, it rains.
Lots of people get sad when it rains.
Copy !req
994. It rains because you're sad, baby.
Copy !req
995. It's not fair.
Copy !req
996. Never is.
Copy !req
997. We are who we are,
Copy !req
998. even if we sometimes forget.
Copy !req
999. Jeff, I am so not
in the mood for you!
Copy !req
1000. Get back in the subway!
Now!
Copy !req
1001. That's not good.
Copy !req
1002. Wait! No! Aah!
Copy !req
1003. Jay!
Copy !req
1004. I cannot emphasize enough how much
we need you on that transport.
Copy !req
1005. Laura! You have to go!
Copy !req
1006. Oh, jeez.
Copy !req
1007. Go. He's fine.
He does this all the time.
Copy !req
1008. Nope!
Copy !req
1009. About to lay the smackdown
on your candy ass.
Copy !req
1010. Laura! It's your destiny!
Copy !req
1011. I was talking, Kay! Aah!
Copy !req
1012. Hey! No biting.
Copy !req
1013. If you don't go, we all die.
Copy !req
1014. You're just as beautiful
as your mother.
Copy !req
1015. Kay? A little help?
Copy !req
1016. Kay?
Copy !req
1017. Might I suggest a bigger gun?
Copy !req
1018. Kid?
Yeah.
Copy !req
1019. Thanks for bringing me back.
No problem.
Copy !req
1020. Why didn't you tell me?
Copy !req
1021. Would you have let her go?
Copy !req
1022. So, what's it like on the outside?
Not doing this every day?
Copy !req
1023. It's nice.
Copy !req
1024. Sleep late on the weekends.
Watch the Weather Channel.
Copy !req
1025. I did miss this city.
Copy !req
1026. So Laura is Princess Lauranna's
daughter.
Copy !req
1027. Did y'all...?
MiB is a mess. Let's go, kid.
Copy !req
1028. Let's go?
Copy !req
1029. Thousands of people in New York
and New Jersey saw our little event.
Copy !req
1030. Plan needs to be thought out.
Plan needs to be cool. What you...?
Copy !req
1031. Kid, I'll get you trained yet.
Copy !req
1032. I want one of those.
Copy !req
1033. Damn!
Copy !req
1034. Hey.
Hey.
Copy !req
1035. How you doing?
I'm good, man.
Copy !req
1036. We've all been there.
The girl is gone and it hurts. Wanna talk?
Copy !req
1037. No.
I can help.
Copy !req
1038. No.
Copy !req
1039. Still sulking?
Copy !req
1040. No.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1041. Hell, you miss her. It happens to all of us.
I knew this hot young thing.
Copy !req
1042. When our bodies were in the
positions of the Kamasutra...
Copy !req
1043. Zed!
Ah...
Copy !req
1044. Come on, man! Damn!
Copy !req
1045. I'll tell you about dames. They say they want
to be scratched, but they really want is:
Copy !req
1046. Hey! Frank.
Copy !req
1047. What? Still sitting shiva?
Want my advice?
Copy !req
1048. No. No advice.
Copy !req
1049. No talking.
Copy !req
1050. Hell, no.
Copy !req
1051. Fellas, I swear, I'm fine.
Copy !req
1052. All hail Jay! All hail Jay!
Copy !req
1053. I brought them
from Grand Central.
Copy !req
1054. Why put them in my locker?
Copy !req
1055. I thought it would put things
in perspective.
Copy !req
1056. It's kind of sad.
We need to let them out.
Copy !req
1057. They need to know the world
is bigger than that.
Copy !req
1058. Still a rookie.
Copy !req
1059. Whoa.
Copy !req