1. Mysteries in History,
with your host, Peter Graves.Copy !req
2. Although no one has ever been able
to prove their existence...Copy !req
3. a quasi-government agency,
known as the Men in Black...Copy !req
4. supposedly carries out secret
operations here on Earth...Copy !req
5. In order to keep us safe from aliens
throughout the galaxies.Copy !req
6. Here is one of their stories
that "never happened”...Copy !req
7. from one of their files
that doesn't exist.Copy !req
8. 1978. The leaders of Zartha
flee their planet...Copy !req
9. in order to escape the clutches
of the evil Kylothian, Serleena.Copy !req
10. Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring
with them their greatest treasure:Copy !req
11. The Light of Zartha,
a cosmic force so powerful...Copy !req
12. that in the wrong hands, it could
lead to the annihilation of Zartha.Copy !req
13. The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna,
beseeched the Men in Black...Copy !req
14. to hide the Light from Serleena.Copy !req
15. But they had no choice.Copy !req
16. Intervention would have meant
the destruction of the Earth.Copy !req
17. However, in an act of galactic bravery,
the Men in Black subdued Serleena...Copy !req
18. allowing the Zarthans to escape...Copy !req
19. So they might hide the Light
on another planet.Copy !req
20. Serleena, released from her captors,
vowed that the Light would be hers...Copy !req
21. and that she would destroy
any planet that stood in her way.Copy !req
22. And so
never knowing what happened...Copy !req
23. the people of Earth were, once again,
saved by a secret society of protectors...Copy !req
24. known as the Men in Black.Copy !req
25. Harvey!Copy !req
26. Harvey, get over here!Copy !req
27. Harvey. Heel, heel!Copy !req
28. You're barking at the moon, moron.Copy !req
29. Harvey. Harvey!Copy !req
30. Harvey!Copy !req
31. Hey, pretty lady.Copy !req
32. You taste good.Copy !req
33. Hey, what the...?Copy !req
34. Yeah, you too.Copy !req
35. Nothing fancy, no heroics.
By the book this time.Copy !req
36. Got it. Hey!Copy !req
37. Hey, Jeff. What's happening, buddy?Copy !req
38. We were just wondering
what you're doing here.Copy !req
39. The man's talking to you.Copy !req
40. You know our arrangements.Copy !req
41. You don't travel outside of the E,
F and R subway lines...Copy !req
42. and you get all the garbage
you want.Copy !req
43. What the hell are you doing here,
worm boy?Copy !req
44. Tee.Copy !req
45. Jeff...Copy !req
46. Excuse my partner.
He's new, and he's...Copy !req
47. kind of stupid.Copy !req
48. You getting big, Jeff.
Boy, what you been eating?Copy !req
49. You like jokes, huh?Copy !req
50. Jeffrey!Copy !req
51. All right.Copy !req
52. Sweet dreams, big boy.Copy !req
53. Sweet dreams...Copy !req
54. big boy.Copy !req
55. Transit authority.
Move to the forward car.Copy !req
56. We got a bug in the electrical system.Copy !req
57. Yo, people!Copy !req
58. We got a bug in the electrical system!Copy !req
59. Oh, now y'all running?Copy !req
60. No, no, no! Sit down! Sit down!Copy !req
61. It's only a 600-foot worm.Copy !req
62. - Everybody out before I knock heads.
- Put the hammer down on this thing.Copy !req
63. I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater.
I decide what happens on this train.Copy !req
64. You decide?
Okay, come here. Come here.Copy !req
65. - Larry? That's my man, Jeff.
- Yeah.Copy !req
66. - Larry just made a decision.
- Larry need to take his ass in there.Copy !req
67. Don't make me do this, Jeff!Copy !req
68. Eighty-first Street.Copy !req
69. Just a second.Copy !req
70. May I have your attention, please?Copy !req
71. The City of New York would like to
thank you for participating in our drill.Copy !req
72. Had this been an actual emergency,
y'all would've been eaten.Copy !req
73. Because you don't listen.
You're ignorant.Copy !req
74. How a man gonna bash
through a subway...?Copy !req
75. That's the problem with New Yorkers.Copy !req
76. "We've seen it all. A 600-foot worm!
Save us, Mr. Black Man!"Copy !req
77. I ask you nice, "Move to the next car."
You just sit there like...Copy !req
78. Thank you for participating.Copy !req
79. Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller,
more energy-efficient subway cars.Copy !req
80. Watch your step.
You will have a nice evening.Copy !req
81. I need the perimeter secured
and a cleanup crew...Copy !req
82. at 81st and Central Park West.Copy !req
83. Revoke Jeff's movement
privileges immediately.Copy !req
84. Have him escorted
to the Chambers Street station.Copy !req
85. And please check the expiration date
on the unipod worm tranquilizers.Copy !req
86. Sorry, fellas. Station closed.Copy !req
87. - Emergency drill. For your safety.
- Do you believe these putzes?Copy !req
88. You're welcome.Copy !req
89. I know. By the book.Copy !req
90. Tee, when was the last time
we just looked at the stars?Copy !req
91. This is a test. I can do this.Copy !req
92. You ever feel like you're alone
in the universe?Copy !req
93. Yes.Copy !req
94. No.Copy !req
95. - Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie.
- Really?Copy !req
96. Thanks.Copy !req
97. Hey, you're not alone
in the universe.Copy !req
98. - Remove the arm.
- Okay.Copy !req
99. Please, shut up, Charlie.Copy !req
100. I'm tired of you constantly talking
behind my back.Copy !req
101. You meet a girl. She's into it.
The best line you come up with is:Copy !req
102. "Wanna come back to my place for
some tonsil hockey and egg salad?"Copy !req
103. - Who are you and how'd you get in?
- You like egg salad?Copy !req
104. Serleena!Copy !req
105. Why didn't you say it was you?Copy !req
106. - I got your message. Where's the Light?
- Here's the deal.Copy !req
107. You're looking for this Light.
We found it.Copy !req
108. You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill.
Here's how it'll work. First...Copy !req
109. Where is the Light?Copy !req
110. We couldn't find it, but we found
a guy who might know where it is.Copy !req
111. He runs a pizza parlor
on Spring Street.Copy !req
112. Let's go.Copy !req
113. And wipe your nose, idiot.Copy !req
114. - Good pie.
- Yeah.Copy !req
115. Crowded.Copy !req
116. Well, they got good pie.Copy !req
117. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
118. - You're gonna neuralyze me.
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
119. You took me to a public place
so I wouldn't make a scene.Copy !req
120. You making a scene.Copy !req
121. Look, let me ask you a question.
Why did you join MiB?Copy !req
122. Six years in the Marines.
I like the action. Protect the planet.Copy !req
123. You like being a hero?
You joined the wrong organization.Copy !req
124. - You ever heard of James Edwards?
- No.Copy !req
125. Well, he saved the lives of 85 people
on the subway tonight.Copy !req
126. No one knows he exists.Copy !req
127. And if no one knows he exists,
how can anyone ever love him?Copy !req
128. Hey, how long we been partners?Copy !req
129. - Feb 1.
- Five months, three days.Copy !req
130. - Started at noon.
- Nine hours.Copy !req
131. Get married. Have a bunch of kids.Copy !req
132. Okay.Copy !req
133. Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy,
but he thinks you are hot.Copy !req
134. Here it is. Ta-da.Copy !req
135. Ben, I don't know what to say.Copy !req
136. Years from now,
you know what people will say?Copy !req
137. - "Employee" is spelled wrong?
- They charge by the letter.Copy !req
138. People will say, "Imagine that.
Big shot like her used to work here."Copy !req
139. - Ben...
- You deserve it.Copy !req
140. Bring up a case of Mountain Dew
from the basement.Copy !req
141. Hey, Bruno.Copy !req
142. Two slices of pepperoni...Copy !req
143. and any information you might have
about the Light of Zartha.Copy !req
144. - Whoever you are, don't hurt me.
- Where's the Light, Ben?Copy !req
145. I don't know what you're talking about.
Let me down, ma'am.Copy !req
146. I wanna report a robbery...Copy !req
147. There.Copy !req
148. Noise.Copy !req
149. Kitchen!Copy !req
150. You idiots see anything?Copy !req
151. Wind blew the door open.Copy !req
152. Nothing out of the ordinary.Copy !req
153. For 25 years, I've traveled
the universe looking for it.Copy !req
154. But it never left Earth, did it?
You kept it here.Copy !req
155. What are you talking about?Copy !req
156. I'm running out of time.
Where's the Light?Copy !req
157. - I don't know what you mean.
- Listen, Zarthan.Copy !req
158. You hid the Light on Earth,
and I will find it.Copy !req
159. Once we have the Light,
Zartha will be ours.Copy !req
160. You're too late.
Tomorrow, at midnight...Copy !req
161. the Light will leave
the third planet and be back home.Copy !req
162. Sorry you made the trip for nothing.Copy !req
163. Got nothing. Now we don't know
if it's on Earth or not.Copy !req
164. He said "third planet."
It's here, you idiot.Copy !req
165. - Third Rock from the Sun.
- I never got that till now.Copy !req
166. It's on Earth, and I know
who's gonna tell me where it is.Copy !req
167. - Don't you ever go home?
- Nope.Copy !req
168. I see you neuralyzed another partner.Copy !req
169. Bee, Dee, when you use
a fission carbonizer...Copy !req
170. attach a de-atomizer
so it doesn't sound like a cannon.Copy !req
171. Hey, get some booties on them things.
You're crapping up the floor.Copy !req
172. Check his visa.Copy !req
173. The Cephalopods have been making
counterfeits at Kinko's on Canal.Copy !req
174. Why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph
going through passport control?Copy !req
175. That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry.
Please don't neuralyze me, sir.Copy !req
176. - What's that supposed to mean?
- Nothing, sir.Copy !req
177. Good work in the subway.Copy !req
178. I remember Jeff
when he was yea high.Copy !req
179. What you got for me?Copy !req
180. Look. See those guys in black suits?Copy !req
181. - They work here. We got it covered.
- Zed, what you got?Copy !req
182. Dedication's one thing, but this job
will eat you up and spit you out.Copy !req
183. You want to look like me
when you hit 50...Copy !req
184. ish?Copy !req
185. I'll be in the gym if you need me.Copy !req
186. All right, there was a killing earlier.
177 Spring.Copy !req
187. Alien-on-alien.Copy !req
188. Take Tee with you and make a report.Copy !req
189. Tee. Right.Copy !req
190. What happened,
what happened with Tee...Copy !req
191. Passports. No rush.
How they hanging, Jay?Copy !req
192. You have got to stop neuralyzing
MiB personnel.Copy !req
193. The dude was crying
in the middle of the diner.Copy !req
194. I hate that.Copy !req
195. And plus, you can't count Elle.Copy !req
196. She wanted to go back to the morgue.
I helped her.Copy !req
197. - You need a partner.
- I'm cool.Copy !req
198. I'll be his partner.Copy !req
199. Jay, wait up.
I appreciate the shot, man.Copy !req
200. - Thought I'd never get out.
- Lose the suit.Copy !req
201. Sure thing, partner.
Just going for the look.Copy !req
202. But if I say so myself,
I find it slimming.Copy !req
203. Not that I've had any problems
with the ladies.Copy !req
204. When you get down to brass tacks...Copy !req
205. Nice sled, very swank.Copy !req
206. Heated seats? Sometimes, I get hives.Copy !req
207. Frank!Copy !req
208. Bring your head in this window
before I roll it up in there.Copy !req
209. Got it.Copy !req
210. Frank!Copy !req
211. My money? It's missionary.Copy !req
212. I was in the Bowery,
and I meet this Great Dane.Copy !req
213. A little thick in the body,
but pretty.Copy !req
214. That's just not appealing to me, man.
Seriously.Copy !req
215. Okay. Okay. So I say we do the good-cop,
bad-cop thing.Copy !req
216. You interrogate the witness,
and I growl.Copy !req
217. How about we do the good-cop,
dumb-dog thing, and you just shut up?Copy !req
218. You got it, partner. Total silence.Copy !req
219. Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me.Copy !req
220. What do we got?Copy !req
221. Zip.Copy !req
222. - What do we got?
- There's phosphorus residue on the wall.Copy !req
223. - We sent samples to Em for analysis.
- Hey, Jay, 0-percent body fat.Copy !req
224. - Funny.
- Witness?Copy !req
225. Girl. Saw everything.Copy !req
226. She's taking it well.Copy !req
227. I won't answer any more questions.
I wanna know what happened here.Copy !req
228. - I'll handle this one.
- You got it.Copy !req
229. Alone. The talking-dog thing
might be a bit much for her right now.Copy !req
230. What do you want me to do?Copy !req
231. Sniff around.Copy !req
232. What?Copy !req
233. Funny.Copy !req
234. Take a deep breath, ma'am.
Everything is all right.Copy !req
235. What part is she supposed
to feel all right about?Copy !req
236. I'm Agent Jay.Copy !req
237. Tell me what you saw.Copy !req
238. - A two-headed guy and a woman.
- Caucasian?Copy !req
239. Gray, with tentacles
that she used to rip...Copy !req
240. His skin off of his body.Copy !req
241. It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer
similar to the gum in baseball cards.Copy !req
242. - What was the last thing you ate?
- Calzone.Copy !req
243. - What time?
- Lunch.Copy !req
244. - Spinach?
- Mushroom.Copy !req
245. You need pie.Copy !req
246. A light.
They just kept asking Ben about a light.Copy !req
247. "Light of Zartha,"
or something like that.Copy !req
248. You okay?Copy !req
249. An hour ago, a man I've known
my whole life vanished...Copy !req
250. because of a woman with things
coming out her fingers...Copy !req
251. and a two-headed guy
with the 1Q of a cannoli.Copy !req
252. So yeah, everything's okay.Copy !req
253. Look, when we're kids,
before we're taught how to think...Copy !req
254. our hearts tell us
there is something else out there.Copy !req
255. Now, I know what I saw.Copy !req
256. You tell me what
I'm supposed to believe.Copy !req
257. I'm a member of
a secret organization...Copy !req
258. that polices and monitors
alien activity on Earth.Copy !req
259. Ben was an alien.
So were his killers.Copy !req
260. I don't know why they did it,
but I promise I'm gonna find out.Copy !req
261. Okay.Copy !req
262. - Okay?
- Okay.Copy !req
263. Okay.Copy !req
264. - I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...
- Kill me.Copy !req
265. No!Copy !req
266. No. Just a little flash,
and everything goes back the way it was.Copy !req
267. After you flash me...Copy !req
268. if I see you again,
will I know it's you?Copy !req
269. I'll see you.Copy !req
270. But you won't see me.Copy !req
271. Must be hard.Copy !req
272. Must be very lonely.Copy !req
273. Excuse me.Copy !req
274. - I gotta go.
- What about the flashy thing?Copy !req
275. I'll flash you some other time.Copy !req
276. What?Copy !req
277. - Did you tell the girl you love her?
- She's a witness to a crime. That's it.Copy !req
278. You're attracted. She's not
even my species, and I'm attracted.Copy !req
279. I should take advice on love
from a dude that chases his own ass?Copy !req
280. Easy, pal. That's canine profiling,
and I resent it.Copy !req
281. Hey, Jay, wait up.Copy !req
282. Coming through. MiB brass.
Look sharp.Copy !req
283. I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner.
Who are you eyeballing?Copy !req
284. Frank, just cool out, dog.Copy !req
285. - Got kids?
- No.Copy !req
286. Want them?Copy !req
287. Get him off me!Copy !req
288. - Talk to me.
- It's Kylothian, class C.Copy !req
289. Serleena.Copy !req
290. - Serleena. Old girlfriend?
- She wishes.Copy !req
291. Witness said the perps were looking
for the Light of...Copy !req
292. - Zartha.
- Yeah, what is it?Copy !req
293. This makes no sense.
The Light's not on Earth.Copy !req
294. - We took care of this a long time ago.
- Well, obviously not.Copy !req
295. That is very bad news.Copy !req
296. Twenty-five years ago, The Zarthans came
to Earth to hide the Light from Serleena.Copy !req
297. - We don't do that.
- Right. I ordered it off the planet.Copy !req
298. Well, Zed...Copy !req
299. I got a Kylothian class C in my park.
Are you sure this Light isn't here?Copy !req
300. Positive. I gave the order.
My best agent carried it out.Copy !req
301. - It's as if I gave the order to you.
- Ask the agent.Copy !req
302. - Can't.
- Dead?Copy !req
303. Sort of. He works at the post office.Copy !req
304. No.Copy !req
305. If Serleena gets to Kay before we do,
he's dead.Copy !req
306. The Earth's very existence
may rest on what Kay knows.Copy !req
307. Too bad you wiped out
his memory of it.Copy !req
308. Bring him in.Copy !req
309. Now.Copy !req
310. How cool is this? Going to get Kay.
The legend, the go-to guy.Copy !req
311. Your mentor, the guy who taught you
everything you know.Copy !req
312. - The greatest agent in MiB history!
- Frank! Stop talking.Copy !req
313. Stay.Copy !req
314. Listen, partner.
I may look like a dog...Copy !req
315. but I only play one here on Earth.Copy !req
316. - Whatever. Wipe your mouth.
- Hey, babe.Copy !req
317. Good people of Truro, Massachusetts
may I kindly have your attention?Copy !req
318. To facilitate your shipping needs...Copy !req
319. all packages must be
properly wrapped.Copy !req
320. This one is an example of
"go home, and do it again."Copy !req
321. I think you know what I mean,
Mrs. Vigushin.Copy !req
322. Brown paper and triple-twist twine
are the preferred media.Copy !req
323. Thank you for your time.Copy !req
324. - Kay.
- C. Express mail, two-day air.Copy !req
325. Kevin.Copy !req
326. Kevin. That's funny.
You don't have a "Kevin"...Copy !req
327. You don't remember me,
but we worked together.Copy !req
328. I never worked in a funeral home.
Something I can do for you, slick?Copy !req
329. Okay. Straight to the point.Copy !req
330. You are a former agent of an organization
that monitors aliens on Earth.Copy !req
331. We're the Men in Black.
We have a situation. We need your help.Copy !req
332. There is a free mental-health clinic
at the corner of Lilac and East Valley.Copy !req
333. - Next.
- Excuse me.Copy !req
334. - Twenty Rugrats stamps.
- Elizabeth.Copy !req
335. The United States Postal Service hasn't
kept up with today's youth, but we have...Copy !req
336. - Berlin airlift stamps. Opera legends?
- No. No.Copy !req
337. - American Samoa? Amish quilts.
- No.Copy !req
338. I'm sorry, got a world to save here.Copy !req
339. There was no coma. It was all a cover.Copy !req
340. - Who are you?
- Question is: Who are you?Copy !req
341. The Postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts,
and I'm ordering you to leave.Copy !req
342. Kay...Copy !req
343. - Is that decaf?
- Sorry.Copy !req
344. We have a breach.
Cordon off this area.Copy !req
345. Full perimeter wipe-down,
right here, right now.Copy !req
346. Get a mop and escort all civilian
personnel from this site immediately.Copy !req
347. Yes, sir.Copy !req
348. Listen to yourself, Kay.
Who talks like that?Copy !req
349. Why do you think you're
so comfortable here?Copy !req
350. Just about everybody who works
in a post office is an alien.Copy !req
351. No smoking.Copy !req
352. Kay.Copy !req
353. My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy
fly a tiger around a room.Copy !req
354. You're nothing special.Copy !req
355. When you look at the stars,
you get a feeling...Copy !req
356. like you don't know who you are.Copy !req
357. Like you know more about out there
than you do down here.Copy !req
358. That's why she left you, Kay.Copy !req
359. That's why your wife left you.Copy !req
360. Okay, I'll tell you what.Copy !req
361. You decide you wanna know who
you really are, come take a ride with me.Copy !req
362. If not, people are waiting
for their TV Guides.Copy !req
363. Think he'll bite?Copy !req
364. I'm just going for a ride. If things
don't add up, it's hasta luego.Copy !req
365. Hey, Kay.Copy !req
366. How's it hanging?Copy !req
367. Good to see you, Kay.Copy !req
368. Good to see you too,
whoever you are.Copy !req
369. Well, let's see
what you got here, chief.Copy !req
370. Welcome back, Agent Kay.Copy !req
371. Agent Kay.Copy !req
372. Greetings, Kay.Copy !req
373. Wow, look who's back.Copy !req
374. I don't mean to bother you...
You're Agent Kay!Copy !req
375. - That's what they tell me.
- This is an honor. Agent Gee.Copy !req
376. A legend. The most-respected agent
in MiB history.Copy !req
377. The most-feared human
in the universe.Copy !req
378. Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee?
Hear some war stories?Copy !req
379. - Black, two sugars, if you're going.
- An honor.Copy !req
380. - Yeah, I'll take a... My man?
- Good to see you, Kay.Copy !req
381. How'd it go?Copy !req
382. The Drolacks are gone
and the treaty is signed.Copy !req
383. Good work.Copy !req
384. Zed, what about that position you
promised me in Men in Black?Copy !req
385. Still working on the alien
affirmative-action program.Copy !req
386. Wait a minute.
That's not what you promised me.Copy !req
387. - You're breaking up.
- Zed? Hello?Copy !req
388. - I'll call you back.
- I could be Agent Em. Zed, you...Copy !req
389. Kay, I think Earth might be in a bad way.
You're the only one that could save it.Copy !req
390. - Well, neither rain, sleet, snow...
- Good man.Copy !req
391. Get him armed and up to speed
and over to deneuralyzation.Copy !req
392. - Frank?
- Yeah?Copy !req
393. I'm gonna need them together
on this one.Copy !req
394. I need an assistant.
It's not field work, but you get dental.Copy !req
395. Dental?Copy !req
396. The most advanced technologies from
all over the universe are in this room.Copy !req
397. What's this?Copy !req
398. All is lost! All is lost!Copy !req
399. Don't touch that!Copy !req
400. I didn't do anything.Copy !req
401. Hands in your pockets.Copy !req
402. Your favorite weapon.Copy !req
403. - That?
- Yep.Copy !req
404. - Let's go put it on.
- What?Copy !req
405. The last suit you'll ever wear.Copy !req
406. Again.Copy !req
407. The deneuralyzer.Copy !req
408. In a few moments, magneto-energy
will surge through your brain...Copy !req
409. unlocking information that could
hold the key to Earth's very survival.Copy !req
410. Okay. What's that thing?Copy !req
411. The deneuralyzer.Copy !req
412. DUTY-FREE LIQUORCopy !req
413. Welcome to planet Earth.
There are some rules and regulations.Copy !req
414. Go out only at night.Copy !req
415. If you must go out during the daylight,
only the East Village.Copy !req
416. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
417. Name and planet of origin?Copy !req
418. Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn.
Kaluth system.Copy !req
419. - Any fruits or vegetables?
- Yeah, two heads of cabbage.Copy !req
420. Reason for visit?Copy !req
421. Education. I really wanna learn
how to be an underwear model.Copy !req
422. They told me I've got real potential.Copy !req
423. Help! Heart attack!Copy !req
424. Clear!Copy !req
425. Wake up, champ!Copy !req
426. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
427. Lockdown. Code 101.Copy !req
428. Lockdown.Copy !req
429. This is not good. This is not good.Copy !req
430. - Breach! We're being flushed.
- Flushed?Copy !req
431. - Ever been to a water park?
- I don't know.Copy !req
432. Flushed.Copy !req
433. Yeah, man, back when you was
an agent, you loved getting flushed.Copy !req
434. Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd
be like, "Flush me, Jay. Flush me."Copy !req
435. I'd be like, "No."Copy !req
436. You can't quit on me.Copy !req
437. I save the world, you tell me
why I stare at the stars.Copy !req
438. Cool.Copy !req
439. - Hop in.
- Hop in what?Copy !req
440. Does that come standard?Copy !req
441. It came with a black dude,
but he kept getting pulled over.Copy !req
442. Yep.Copy !req
443. Silly little planet. I could rule the place
with the right set of mammary glands.Copy !req
444. Trapped like rats...Copy !req
445. in a Chia Pet.Copy !req
446. Computer, surveillance MiB.Copy !req
447. MiB is locked down.Copy !req
448. Computer, magnify. Times 10.Copy !req
449. Communicator. Frank.Copy !req
450. - Jay, where are you?
- We got flushed.Copy !req
451. - MiB is code 101.
- Yeah, who did it?Copy !req
452. Some hot-looking biker chick.
Want me to tail her?Copy !req
453. - Stay where you are. I'll be in touch.
- Stay where I am. Easy for you to say.Copy !req
454. - Find Kay?
- Neuralyzed.Copy !req
455. - Not active. Civilian.
- What?Copy !req
456. - He was...
- Here.Copy !req
457. - To get...
- Deneuralyzed.Copy !req
458. - Memory's shot. But we'll find him.
- Don't put anything in our ears.Copy !req
459. What?Copy !req
460. What do you make of that?
Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh?Copy !req
461. - Yeah, you're smiling.
- Is that the only deneuralyzer?Copy !req
462. Officially. The plans leaked out
on the Internet.Copy !req
463. Computer, Internet.Copy !req
464. Deneuralyzer.Copy !req
465. Perfect. It's an old friend.Copy !req
466. Jay, ain't seen you in a while.Copy !req
467. Did you peep that drop-top thing
out front?Copy !req
468. My business is banging, dog.Copy !req
469. You gotta check out the website.
It's "Jeebsie dot..."Copy !req
470. Okay, whoa. He's retired, right?Copy !req
471. We need the deneuralyzer.Copy !req
472. - You're kidding.
- The meter's running, Jeebs.Copy !req
473. Do you remember me?Copy !req
474. Can't say I do.
I'm pretty good with faces. I...Copy !req
475. I think I'd remember that.Copy !req
476. The great Kay's a neutral.Copy !req
477. You're between me and my memories.
Do you have this deneuralyzer or not?Copy !req
478. No.Copy !req
479. Fresh out.Copy !req
480. Can't help you.Copy !req
481. Don't got it.Copy !req
482. Even if I did, if it doesn't work,
he dies, you blow my head off.Copy !req
483. If it does, I've brought back Kay,
who, for fun, blows my head off.Copy !req
484. So, what's my incentive?Copy !req
485. Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs
next to the snow blowers.Copy !req
486. Alien prisoners released,
armed and ready for your orders.Copy !req
487. Prisoners of MiB,
the scum of the universe.Copy !req
488. Now it's the scum's turn.Copy !req
489. I'm in a jam,
so I'll make this simple.Copy !req
490. I need the Light of Zartha,
and Kay knows where it is.Copy !req
491. Whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth.Copy !req
492. Start by finding a deneuralyzer. They're
gonna wanna get his memory back.Copy !req
493. Check.Copy !req
494. Now.Copy !req
495. Jarra, good to see you.Copy !req
496. Okay, that should do it.Copy !req
497. If I could have your attention while
we go over the safety procedures.Copy !req
498. Keep your hands inside the vehicle.Copy !req
499. If, at any point, during the ride,
you become disoriented...Copy !req
500. there's nothing we can do about it.Copy !req
501. Have you removed all your jewelry?Copy !req
502. - Are you allergic to shellfish?
- Jeebs!Copy !req
503. Right, then!
Smoke them if you got them.Copy !req
504. Have you ever used this before?Copy !req
505. I used it to make some
hot-air popcorn. That's about it.Copy !req
506. Okay! Let's make it happen, captain!Copy !req
507. Perfect.Copy !req
508. - You're back.
- No.Copy !req
509. How'd you know
his head grows back?Copy !req
510. It grows back?Copy !req
511. Real nice. Okay, that's the last time
I help out a friend.Copy !req
512. - Kay, you remember anything?
- Goodbye.Copy !req
513. - Kay!
- Kay, wait!Copy !req
514. I never got the updated software.
Still working off the 6.0.Copy !req
515. Your brain needs to reboot.Copy !req
516. Give it a minute.Copy !req
517. Kay!Copy !req
518. Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry.
I hope it won't affect our friendship.Copy !req
519. Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry.
I hope it won't affect our friendship.Copy !req
520. All those years of loyalty and trust,
respect for one another.Copy !req
521. Right over there!Copy !req
522. - Where's Kay?
- He's not here! He went...Copy !req
523. Kay's retired. I'm his
trigger-happy replacement.Copy !req
524. Oh, great. Right in the pie hole.
Now nothing's gonna taste right.Copy !req
525. - Lower your weapon.
- No.Copy !req
526. Jay, how are you, boo-boo?Copy !req
527. - These guys really need Kay.
- He's a neutral.Copy !req
528. - Tell me something we don't know.
- Yeah, tell me something...Copy !req
529. I am so sorry.Copy !req
530. - God bless you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
531. Look, if I don't bring Kay back to MiB,
Serleena's gonna kick my ass.Copy !req
532. - Now, where is he?
- Where is who?Copy !req
533. You don't look too good.Copy !req
534. Yeah, and you look like crap.Copy !req
535. I take that back. He look like crap.Copy !req
536. - Bend him!
- Bend him.Copy !req
537. Wait, don't bend him.Copy !req
538. Hey, honey, how you doing?Copy !req
539. Damn decent of you.Copy !req
540. Don't mention it.Copy !req
541. - I think I'm gonna be sick.
- You don't wanna do that.Copy !req
542. - Fellas, I think he's telling the truth.
- Then he's no good to us.Copy !req
543. - Didn't I teach you anything, kid?
- Pineal eye!Copy !req
544. Go for the mosh tendrils!Copy !req
545. Kay, he's a ball-chinnian.Copy !req
546. - You were in a tight spot.
- I handled it.Copy !req
547. - You need a partner.
- I had one. Job got too tough.Copy !req
548. I'm back. You got some dust
on your coat.Copy !req
549. - So, you got your memory back.
- Yeah.Copy !req
550. - What the hell is going on?
- Don't know.Copy !req
551. - Okay. What is the Light of Zartha?
- Never heard of it.Copy !req
552. Cool.Copy !req
553. If your memory's back, why don't
you remember the Light of Zartha?Copy !req
554. Must've neuralyzed myself
to keep it from myself.Copy !req
555. - Good plan. What you doing?
- I always do the driving.Copy !req
556. - Wait, no.
- I remember that.Copy !req
557. What you remember is you used
to drive that old, busted jawn.Copy !req
558. See, I drive the new hotness.Copy !req
559. Old and busted...Copy !req
560. new hotness.Copy !req
561. Old busted hotness.Copy !req
562. - Serleena, please.
- Been a long time, Zed.Copy !req
563. I'm just touched you remembered me.
Makes me fuzzy all over.Copy !req
564. Never forget a pretty
whatever you are.Copy !req
565. Zed?Copy !req
566. Zed? Look at you.Copy !req
567. Twenty-five years,
and you're still just such a looker.Copy !req
568. Cut out the meat and dairy.Copy !req
569. And you, still a pile of squirmy
crap in a different wrapper.Copy !req
570. Oh, so feisty.
Look, Zed, we both need the same thing.Copy !req
571. Bring him in.Copy !req
572. Don't think so.Copy !req
573. What about the Light's secret?
If it's not off Earth by midnight...Copy !req
574. it self-destructs,
annihilating your little planet.Copy !req
575. Here's the deal: I lose, you lose.
I win, everything keeps spinning.Copy !req
576. You don't want the Light on Earth
any more than I do.Copy !req
577. All right, Serleena.Copy !req
578. You win.Copy !req
579. Zed? Is that you?
I could be Agent Em.Copy !req
580. Zed. Hello?Copy !req
581. So feisty.Copy !req
582. Fastest way back to MiB,
you take this right on 39th.Copy !req
583. Right here. Right.Copy !req
584. Next right on 37th.Copy !req
585. Right here, 30... 30... Right!Copy !req
586. We're not going back to MiB.Copy !req
587. Headquarters has been breached.
We need to peel caps and split wigs.Copy !req
588. Not ready.Copy !req
589. Look, you've been out for five years.
That's a long time.Copy !req
590. I understand that you're a little scared.
I'm a little scared too.Copy !req
591. - I'm not scared.
- Me neither.Copy !req
592. I... I just thought we was bonding.Copy !req
593. Five years, and still acting like a rookie.
Splitting wigs and stepping on caps.Copy !req
594. - No wonder Zed brought me back.
- He did it because you messed up.Copy !req
595. Your attitude makes for
a stressful environment.Copy !req
596. Tell it to the hand.
Stressful is what we got back at MiB.Copy !req
597. Exactly. Serleena thinks I know where the
Light is and broke into MiB to lure me back.Copy !req
598. Into a trap.Copy !req
599. Which is why we can't
bust in there.Copy !req
600. We gotta have a plan.
Where we going? Scene of the crime?Copy !req
601. - You're the boss.
- Scene of the crime. That's a left though.Copy !req
602. Here it is. I'll contact the witness.
We'll talk to her.Copy !req
603. Things have changed.
We used to neuralyze witnesses.Copy !req
604. See, I... I'd...Copy !req
605. Originally, I'd...Copy !req
606. No, I was going to...
I interrogated her.Copy !req
607. - Then neuralyzed her?
- What you mean?Copy !req
608. - Then neuralyzed her?
- What you mean?Copy !req
609. MiB code 773II-1 clearly states
that all civilian personnel...Copy !req
610. - Drop that weapon!
- No!Copy !req
611. - Jay, I'm... I'm sorry.
- No.Copy !req
612. No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault.Copy !req
613. Kay, my partner. Laura, the witness.Copy !req
614. Pleasure.Copy !req
615. Thanks for sending those agents over
to keep an eye on me last night.Copy !req
616. That was really sweet.Copy !req
617. MiB procedural code 594-B...Copy !req
618. States MiB personnel shall never
be used for any other purpose...Copy !req
619. Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here.Copy !req
620. So I'm assuming that
the perp was over in this direction.Copy !req
621. Ben.Copy !req
622. - Was he 5'7", portly fellow, thinning hair?
- You knew him?Copy !req
623. Nope. Never seen him before
in my life.Copy !req
624. That is a hell of a fish.Copy !req
625. Wait a minute.Copy !req
626. You left yourself clues?Copy !req
627. In case I was deneuralyzed because
my replacement couldn't handle it.Copy !req
628. Well, if the joker
that had got deneuralyzed hadn't created...Copy !req
629. - the situation in the first place...
- Boys.Copy !req
630. All right. You pointing at something.Copy !req
631. Okay.Copy !req
632. Excuse me.Copy !req
633. The astronaut.Copy !req
634. Jay?Copy !req
635. Okay, all right. He's pointing...Copy !req
636. He's like:Copy !req
637. Who would stack
pizza boxes like this?Copy !req
638. A pizza-box stacker who's not
stacking pizza boxes. He's leaving clues.Copy !req
639. It's an arrow.Copy !req
640. - Jay?
- You're slowing me down, slick.Copy !req
641. Whatever we're looking for
is in these cabinets, right here.Copy !req
642. Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil.Copy !req
643. I hope I'm not slowing you down.Copy !req
644. Good work, partner. Yeah.Copy !req
645. - We gotta figure out where it goes.
- I know where.Copy !req
646. - Whoa, Kay... No. Not yet.
- MiB code 773 clearly says...Copy !req
647. I know the code,
but she might be important to me.Copy !req
648. To us. Well, for help. To help us later.Copy !req
649. Well, she can't stay here.
They'll be back.Copy !req
650. - You can stay with friends of mine.
- People like you?Copy !req
651. Kind of.Copy !req
652. Jay!Copy !req
653. - Low bridge!
- What's going on, man?Copy !req
654. Hey, what's happening, fellas?
MiB is code 101.Copy !req
655. - Bad.
- Very bad.Copy !req
656. - I need your help. This is Laura.
- Laura!Copy !req
657. Easy, easy!Copy !req
658. - They're worms.
- Once you go worm...Copy !req
659. that's what you'll yearn.Copy !req
660. -That's what they say. They just:
-I've dated worse.Copy !req
661. They're suspended
for stealing from duty-free shop.Copy !req
662. - We were framed.
- Zed's wormophobic.Copy !req
663. - Kay!
- You're back!Copy !req
664. - They said you were dead.
- We're double-parked.Copy !req
665. Yeah. Laura's very important to me.Copy !req
666. To us. To the stuff...
Me and you, man. The stuff we doing.Copy !req
667. - Keep an eye on her.
- I'll keep both on her.Copy !req
668. No problem!Copy !req
669. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
670. - Why don't you sit here?
- Oh, yeah. Like you got a shot.Copy !req
671. Hey, shut up!Copy !req
672. My communicator, in case you need it.Copy !req
673. - Nice move.
- Okay.Copy !req
674. - Just watch out for Neeble.
- Which one's Neeble?Copy !req
675. He's...Copy !req
676. - Which one of y'all is Neeble?
- Yo, mama!Copy !req
677. Him, right there. It's fine.
Everything's straight. It's safe.Copy !req
678. Don't fall asleep.Copy !req
679. Twister!Copy !req
680. Can you run over your plan
one more time? I'm struggling with it.Copy !req
681. You neuralyzed memory of the Light
but left yourself clues if you came back?Copy !req
682. - Right.
- Photo in an old suit...Copy !req
683. pointing to a key on a nail in a pizzeria,
which opens a locker at Grand Central.Copy !req
684. - Right.
- And in the locker, we'll find another clue.Copy !req
685. That's the plan.Copy !req
686. - I like to keep my enemies confused.
- We all confused, Kay.Copy !req
687. You're not gonna slow me down,
are you?Copy !req
688. Slow you down? Who's brain's
working on outdated software?Copy !req
689. Why don't you go
grab us some coffee?Copy !req
690. Oh, sure. How do you take it?
Black? Couple cubes of "kiss my ass"?Copy !req
691. I don't know what's in there,
I don't want you to get hurt, so step back.Copy !req
692. Kay, for real, man.
Open the damn locker.Copy !req
693. Kay! He's back! The light giver!Copy !req
694. All hail Kay! All hail Kay!Copy !req
695. Oh, Kay, can you see
By the dawn's early lightCopy !req
696. You are the man who would be king
of the train locker.Copy !req
697. Praise Kay!Copy !req
698. Oh, good and gentle townfolk
of Locker C-18...Copy !req
699. Oh, good and gentle townfolk
of Locker C-18...Copy !req
700. - did I leave anything here?
- Yes. The timekeeper.Copy !req
701. Left to illuminate our streets
and hearts.Copy !req
702. - I've been looking everywhere for this.
- Merciful one! The clock tower!Copy !req
703. I got y'all, it's cool. Check this out.Copy !req
704. Titanium case.
Waterproof to over 300 meters.Copy !req
705. - That's banging, right?
- Who are you, stranger?Copy !req
706. Jay.Copy !req
707. All hail Jay! All hail Jay!Copy !req
708. Oh, Jay, can you seeCopy !req
709. - Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of...
- Come on.Copy !req
710. - Wait! The commandments!
- The tablet!Copy !req
711. The tablet! The tablet!
The tablet! The tablet!Copy !req
712. We have lived by its word, and peace
has reigned throughout our world.Copy !req
713. Pass it on to others!
So that they too may be enlightened!Copy !req
714. Be kind! Rewind!Copy !req
715. Go back, and reconcile your past...Copy !req
716. in order to move tranquilly
into your future!Copy !req
717. Two for one every Wednesday.Copy !req
718. Give twice as much as ye receive
on our most sacred of days.Copy !req
719. Every Wednesday.Copy !req
720. Large adult-entertainment section
in the back.Copy !req
721. Yeah.Copy !req
722. That's just nasty.Copy !req
723. - What's up with the video card?
- I don't know.Copy !req
724. - Why leave the watch?
- To remind me.Copy !req
725. - Of what?
- Can't remember.Copy !req
726. Guess.Copy !req
727. I guess we have till midnight, That's 59
minutes and 37 seconds to figure it out.Copy !req
728. Look. Here's an idea. How about
we stop chasing butt-backwards clues...Copy !req
729. go get a couple fission carbonizers
and get our headquarters back.Copy !req
730. It's all about to make sense, kid.Copy !req
731. Is this card valid?Copy !req
732. - This card hasn't been used in years.
- I've been away on business.Copy !req
733. - Billions of frequent-flier miles.
- Try and use them.Copy !req
734. I wanted to go to Cambodia.
You can get a lobster dinner for a dollar.Copy !req
735. The airlines said
they black out holidays.Copy !req
736. You have to stay over a weekend.
It's a conspiracy.Copy !req
737. - Why would somebody...?
- Can you tell us about the account?Copy !req
738. Only that you never
checked out a tape.Copy !req
739. You reserved one once,
but you never picked it up.Copy !req
740. - Hey, Newton.
- There's a huge rat in the toilet.Copy !req
741. It's all stopped up.
You're gonna have to pee in the sin...Copy !req
742. - Still think I'm paranoid?
- Yeah.Copy !req
743. Gentlemen, my name is Newton.
I run the place.Copy !req
744. Seen any aliens lately?Copy !req
745. - You need professional help, son.
- He's getting it. It's not working.Copy !req
746. Okay, so, new case, huh?Copy !req
747. "Episode 27, Light of Zartha."Copy !req
748. Got it.Copy !req
749. Jarra, it's a sin they've kept
a genius like you locked away.Copy !req
750. Their agent Jay caught me siphoning
ozone to sell on the black market.Copy !req
751. They're touchy about
this global warming.Copy !req
752. I need a spacecraft that can travel
300 times the speed of light.Copy !req
753. - Do it, I'll give you whatever you want.
- Give me Jay. We'll call it even.Copy !req
754. Groovy.Copy !req
755. You've got till midnight.Copy !req
756. Gatbot, I got a little
something special for you.Copy !req
757. Newton? Newton, is that you?Copy !req
758. Yes, Mom, I'm up here
with some friends.Copy !req
759. I wanna have your baby.Copy !req
760. Would you like some mini-pizza?Copy !req
761. You guys want some mini-pizzas?
They're good.Copy !req
762. They're like mini-bagels,
with pizza stuff on them.Copy !req
763. She'll put a little fontina cheese on.Copy !req
764. She has palsy, so she ends
up putting a lot of cheese on.Copy !req
765. No, thanks. We're cool.Copy !req
766. All right.Copy !req
767. Over here.Copy !req
768. This is it.Copy !req
769. - Finally, some hard evidence.
- Yes.Copy !req
770. Gentlemen, before I play the tape,
one question:Copy !req
771. What's up with anal probing?Copy !req
772. I mean, aliens travel billions
of light years just to check out our...Copy !req
773. Boy, move.Copy !req
774. Okay. Just a question.Copy !req
775. Here is one of their stories
that "never happened”...Copy !req
776. from one of their files
that doesn't exist.Copy !req
777. 1978. Devastating war of Zartha
had raged on for 50 years.Copy !req
778. Looks like Spielberg's work.Copy !req
779. But the Zarthans had
a great treasure, the Light of Zartha.Copy !req
780. A source of power so awesome,
it alone...Copy !req
781. could mean victory
and restoration for the Zarthans...Copy !req
782. or complete annihilation, if it
fell into the hands of the Kylothians.Copy !req
783. A group of Zarthans made the journey,
led by the Keeper of the Light...Copy !req
784. Lauranna.Copy !req
785. Princess Lauranna.Copy !req
786. Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black
to help her hide the Light on Earth.Copy !req
787. But they could not intervene.Copy !req
788. No.Copy !req
789. It was night.Copy !req
790. And it was raining.Copy !req
791. You've been very wise.Copy !req
792. Kay, please. If Serleena takes
the Light, it's the end of our world.Copy !req
793. Madam Ambassador, if we extend
protection for the Light beyond Earth...Copy !req
794. we put Earth in jeopardy.
We must remain neutral.Copy !req
795. - Where is it?
- We're neutral, remember?Copy !req
796. If you want it, go get it.Copy !req
797. No!Copy !req
798. And so never knowing it happened...Copy !req
799. the people of Earth
were once again saved...Copy !req
800. by a secret society of protectors...Copy !req
801. I shouldn't have.Copy !req
802. You never sent it off the planet.Copy !req
803. You hid it here.Copy !req
804. The worm guys.Copy !req
805. Are you one of Newton's
friends from group therapy?Copy !req
806. - Yes, ma'am, I am. Look here, please.
- Would you like some mini-pizz...?Copy !req
807. A neuralyz...Copy !req
808. Okay, first, get some contact lenses.Copy !req
809. Because... joints look like
they can pick up cable.Copy !req
810. Second, take her to Cambodia.
Get her lobster. Pay more than a dollar.Copy !req
811. Third, the second y'all get back
from Cambodia...Copy !req
812. move your bum-ass
out of your mom's house.Copy !req
813. - Let's go.
- Boy, you like 40 years old.Copy !req
814. - Agent Jay?
- All right, all right.Copy !req
815. And there ain't no such thing
as aliens or Men in Black.Copy !req
816. - You wanna go to Cambodia?
- Yeah.Copy !req
817. Hey, Mom?Copy !req
818. Communicator, Jay.Copy !req
819. - Laura, it's me.
- Jay, we're playing Twister.Copy !req
820. What's up, Jay?Copy !req
821. - Quit touching my butt!
- Sorry. I thought it was your face.Copy !req
822. They're really good at this.
They don't have any spines.Copy !req
823. They were telling me about Oprah,
from Chicago.Copy !req
824. Maybe landed in Chicago.Copy !req
825. - Are you wearing a bracelet?
- Yeah.Copy !req
826. Is it glowing?Copy !req
827. - It's never done that before.
- We're on our way.Copy !req
828. Communicator, Frank.Copy !req
829. Frank, get down
to sub-control level C.Copy !req
830. Deactivate lockdown. We're headed
to the worm guys. We found the Light.Copy !req
831. Got it, Jay. Scrad?Copy !req
832. Bitch.Copy !req
833. Why didn't you say "Il love you"?Copy !req
834. - He's a dog. I don't even like him.
- No, the girl. You're sweet on her.Copy !req
835. - Hey, Kay...
- That's why you didn't neuralyze her.Copy !req
836. You got emotionally involved.Copy !req
837. - Like you did with Lauranna?
- I put the entire planet in danger.Copy !req
838. I don't wanna see you
making my mistakes.Copy !req
839. Whatever, man.Copy !req
840. Laura?Copy !req
841. Damn!Copy !req
842. Never stood half a chance.Copy !req
843. Oh, boy.Copy !req
844. That's gonna leave a scar.Copy !req
845. - Where's Laura?
- MiB headquarters.Copy !req
846. - Some dumb two-headed guy.
- They got the bracelet.Copy !req
847. We got 39 minutes. You guys...Copy !req
848. pull yourselves together.Copy !req
849. Damn.Copy !req
850. That's feeling better.Copy !req
851. - Hey, guys, wait up!
- Let me grab my drink!Copy !req
852. Serleena has the bracelet.
Why take Laura?Copy !req
853. She also wants me.Copy !req
854. - What's the book say?
- We're off book. I say split some wigs.Copy !req
855. - We need wig-splitting weapons.
- Got them.Copy !req
856. Paw Paw's coming to visit me.
Hello, Paw Paw.Copy !req
857. Paw Paw and ZuZu love
to see what's going on in the garden.Copy !req
858. Don't worry, folks. I used to live
here. Came to pick up a few things.Copy !req
859. Nice place.Copy !req
860. See you.Copy !req
861. You did not see a room
full of shiny weapons or four aliens.Copy !req
862. You will cherish and love each other
for the rest of your lives.Copy !req
863. Which could be the next 27 or 28 minutes,
so get to loving and cherishing.Copy !req
864. And she can stay up as late
as she want and have cookies...Copy !req
865. and candy and cakes
and junk and stuff.Copy !req
866. Four minutes to launch.Copy !req
867. Four minutes to launch.Copy !req
868. - Your ship is ready.
- Good. Send it to Kyloth now.Copy !req
869. Ready, guys?Copy !req
870. Lock and load, baby.Copy !req
871. - You ready, kid?
- "Kid"?Copy !req
872. While you were licking stamps,
I saved the world from a Kreelon invasion.Copy !req
873. They're the Backstreet Boys of
the universe. They throw snowballs?Copy !req
874. - You know what you're doing?
- Yep.Copy !req
875. I'm about to attack one
of the most-feared aliens...Copy !req
876. with four worms and a mailman.Copy !req
877. - Let's make it hot.
- No, no, wait!Copy !req
878. A code-101 lockdown!Copy !req
879. I know. The building gets pressurized.
Nothing in, nothing out. I knew that.Copy !req
880. Yeah, you knew.
Front and center, worms!Copy !req
881. You got it.Copy !req
882. It's about time you guys got here.Copy !req
883. That pretty lady in there
is causing all kinds of hell.Copy !req
884. Oh, yummy. Someone I need to eat.Copy !req
885. Get to the launch pad.
The bracelet shows the departure point.Copy !req
886. - No matter what, do not come back for me.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
887. Do not come back for me.Copy !req
888. - Worm guys, give me some cover fire.
- Too scared, can't move.Copy !req
889. Go!Copy !req
890. - Limber.
- Go to subcontrol panel 7-R-Delta.Copy !req
891. - Shut off power so they can't take off.
- Can't. Too scared.Copy !req
892. - Oh, that way.
- Away from the bullets.Copy !req
893. No problem.Copy !req
894. Nice to see you again, Kay.Copy !req
895. - Three minutes to launch.
- Jay!Copy !req
896. Three minutes to launch.Copy !req
897. Hello, Jay. Long time.Copy !req
898. Jarra! What's up, man?
Wow, you look great.Copy !req
899. - What's it been? Five years?
- And 42 days, thanks to you.Copy !req
900. You count every one
when you're locked away.Copy !req
901. You shouldn't have tried to steal
our ozone. Be there in one minute.Copy !req
902. Over our dead titanium bodies!Copy !req
903. Two minutes.Copy !req
904. Let's play this one by ear.Copy !req
905. I should've vaporized you when
I had the chance.Copy !req
906. You really did love Lauranna.Copy !req
907. Didn't you, Kay?Copy !req
908. You silly little man.Copy !req
909. Two minutes to launch.Copy !req
910. Just go, I'll be fine!Copy !req
911. What you talking about, girl?
I'm winning.Copy !req
912. Jarra, you are under arrest
for being that ugly...Copy !req
913. and for making that many copies.
Now surrender!Copy !req
914. I want him in pieces.Copy !req
915. Jarra Jr. is going, going...Copy !req
916. gone!Copy !req
917. - Rectum.
- Damn near killed him!Copy !req
918. - Never get tired of that one.
- I'll say.Copy !req
919. - Guys, where do we shut off the power?
- I don't know.Copy !req
920. - Laura, I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute.
- No, he won't.Copy !req
921. Down to one now, Jarra!Copy !req
922. Thirty seconds to launch.Copy !req
923. Fifteen seconds to launch.Copy !req
924. Ten seconds to launch.Copy !req
925. Eight...Copy !req
926. seven...Copy !req
927. SiX...Copy !req
928. five...Copy !req
929. four...Copy !req
930. three...Copy !req
931. two...Copy !req
932. Launch terminated.Copy !req
933. What did you mean, "leave you"?
I never run from a fight.Copy !req
934. - Well, he took your gun.
- Yeah.Copy !req
935. Cracked your head.
Slammed you across the room.Copy !req
936. - Half the time, you were on your back.
- Look, that's how I fight.Copy !req
937. You've lost, you insignificant speck.Copy !req
938. You've lost, you insignificant speck.Copy !req
939. You've wasted 25 years
of my time, and for what?Copy !req
940. The total annihilation of Zartha.
All because you went mushy.Copy !req
941. I'll give you one last chance
to surrender, you slimy invertebrate.Copy !req
942. - What are you gonna do to stop me?
- Not me. Him.Copy !req
943. Your flight's been canceled.Copy !req
944. Shut down power. Shut down power.
Buttons, buttons. I'm guessing...Copy !req
945. Yeah.Copy !req
946. - Worms!
- Sorry.Copy !req
947. - Give me the bracelet. Please?
- I'm going with you.Copy !req
948. - Everybody in the car. Everybody.
- I don't think she...Copy !req
949. I can't believe this bracelet is what
everybody's been after?Copy !req
950. It's often something small like that.Copy !req
951. It's not the Light.Copy !req
952. - It tells us the departure point.
- What?Copy !req
953. If we don't get there in
11 minutes and 15 seconds...Copy !req
954. that bracelet's gonna go nuclear
and destroy Earth.Copy !req
955. What?Copy !req
956. Hello.Copy !req
957. - Wait, Kay, no. Kay, no.
- I know what I'm doing.Copy !req
958. Damn.Copy !req
959. - Modified to hyper-speed!
- Seat belts.Copy !req
960. What's that?Copy !req
961. At hyper-speed, you have
to use the navigational stalk.Copy !req
962. Toggle switches for the ailerons.
Joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder.Copy !req
963. Okay.Copy !req
964. I just want you to know...Copy !req
965. You know what?
Hold on to that for me for one second.Copy !req
966. Computer, worms.Copy !req
967. So I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me
to kick your skinny Zone Diet ass...Copy !req
968. - turn around and exit the planet."
- Frank, where are you?Copy !req
969. Main hall, egg display.Copy !req
970. Lost control. We're taking fire.
Kay pushed the red button.Copy !req
971. Computer at MiB can destroy
bogey. I'll walk you through it.Copy !req
972. Jay? Frank. You were the best darn
partner a Remoolian could ever have.Copy !req
973. Godspeed.Copy !req
974. Frank? Frank?Copy !req
975. - Frank?
- Okay, here we go, automatic pilot.Copy !req
976. - It is not automatic piloting.
- He doesn't operate at hyper-speed.Copy !req
977. - I could really use a steering wheel here!
- We don't have one. This is what we got.Copy !req
978. - Didn't you ever have a Game Boy?
- What is a Game Boy?Copy !req
979. - You know what? Move. Move.
- Okay.Copy !req
980. Oh, hey.
That is not the navigational stalk!Copy !req
981. Okay, straight down.Copy !req
982. Idiots.Copy !req
983. Subway may not be the best place
to lose her.Copy !req
984. -Where is he?
"He"?Copy !req
985. Jeff. Hang on!Copy !req
986. Teeth.Copy !req
987. Running out of time, Kay.
Where is the Light?Copy !req
988. Right here.Copy !req
989. - What?
- What, I'm the Light?Copy !req
990. - No. No way.
- You have a planet to save. Laura.Copy !req
991. You've got me confused with somebody.
I work part-time at a pizzeria.Copy !req
992. Two days ago, I was running a post
office. You are who you are.Copy !req
993. Laura, you are the Light.Copy !req
994. The leader of your people.
Their spirit and their hope.Copy !req
995. The power is within you
to save a planet.Copy !req
996. I protected you until it was your time.
Your time is now.Copy !req
997. You are going to save a world.Copy !req
998. - I can't be...
- You know things before they happen.Copy !req
999. - I'm a Libra.
- You're Zarthan.Copy !req
1000. - When you get sad, it rains.
- Lots of people get sad when it rains.Copy !req
1001. It rains because you're sad, baby.Copy !req
1002. It's not fair.Copy !req
1003. Never is.Copy !req
1004. We are who we are...Copy !req
1005. even if we sometimes forget.Copy !req
1006. Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you!Copy !req
1007. Get back in the subway right now!Copy !req
1008. That's not good.Copy !req
1009. Wait! No!Copy !req
1010. Jay!Copy !req
1011. I cannot emphasize strongly enough how
much we need you on that transport.Copy !req
1012. Laura, you have to go!Copy !req
1013. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
1014. Go. He's fine.
He does this all the time.Copy !req
1015. Nope!Copy !req
1016. About to lay the smackdown
on your candy ass.Copy !req
1017. Laura, it's your destiny!Copy !req
1018. I was talking, Kay!Copy !req
1019. Hey! No biting.Copy !req
1020. If you don't go, we all die.Copy !req
1021. You're just as beautiful
as your mother.Copy !req
1022. Kay? A little help?Copy !req
1023. Kay?Copy !req
1024. Might I suggest a bigger gun?Copy !req
1025. - Kid?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1026. - Thanks for bringing me back.
- No problem.Copy !req
1027. Why didn't you tell me?Copy !req
1028. Would you have let her go?Copy !req
1029. So, what's it like on the outside?
Not doing this every day?Copy !req
1030. It's nice.Copy !req
1031. Sleep late on the weekends.
Watch the Weather Channel.Copy !req
1032. I did miss this city.Copy !req
1033. So Laura is Princess Lauranna's
daughter.Copy !req
1034. - Did y'all...?
- MiB is a mess. Let's go, kid.Copy !req
1035. "Let's go"?Copy !req
1036. Thousands of people in New York
and New Jersey just saw our little event.Copy !req
1037. Plan needs to be thought out.
Plan needs to be cool.Copy !req
1038. What you...?Copy !req
1039. Kid, I'll get you trained yet.Copy !req
1040. I want one of those.Copy !req
1041. Damn!Copy !req
1042. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
1043. - How you doing? Good.
- I'm good, man.Copy !req
1044. We've all been there, kid. The girl is
gone, and it hurts. You wanna talk?Copy !req
1045. - No.
- L can help.Copy !req
1046. No.Copy !req
1047. Still sulking?Copy !req
1048. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1049. Hell, you miss her. It happens to all of
us. There was a hot young thing I knew once.Copy !req
1050. When our bodies were entwined
in the positions of the Kama Sutra...Copy !req
1051. Zed!Copy !req
1052. Come on, man! Damn!Copy !req
1053. Jay, I'll tell you something
about dames.Copy !req
1054. They say they want to be scratched,
but they really want is:Copy !req
1055. Hey, Frank.Copy !req
1056. What? Still sitting shiva?
Want my advice?Copy !req
1057. No. No advice.Copy !req
1058. No talking.Copy !req
1059. Hell, no.Copy !req
1060. Fellas, I swear, I'm fine.Copy !req
1061. All hail Jay! All hail Jay!Copy !req
1062. - I brought them from Grand Central.
- Why you put them rats in my locker?Copy !req
1063. I thought it would put things
in perspective.Copy !req
1064. Kay, it's actually kind of sad.
We need to let them out.Copy !req
1065. I mean, they need to know the world
is bigger than that.Copy !req
1066. Still a rookie.Copy !req