1. Look at the light
coming out of the earth
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2. Show me a man
who's gentle and kind
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3. And I'll show you
a loser
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4. Now show me a man
who takes what he wants
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5. Look at that boy
sitting on the moon
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6. Look how exciting
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7. So the poets say
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8. When you're a fool in love
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9. And nothing goes
the way you plan
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10. And no one cares
and no one understands
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11. That you're a fool
and you're in love
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12. Never another spring for you
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13. Never a robin
to sing for you
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14. You're out there
on your own
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15. When you're a fool in love
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16. A fool in love
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17. Seems like the skies
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18. Are always gray
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19. You turn around
there's someone in your way
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20. And it's you
and you're in love
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21. Sometimes you think
that your luck has changed
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22. And a rainbow explodes
across the sky
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23. But when you're
a fool in love
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24. You'll be a fool
till the day you die
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25. A fool in love
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26. I know we haven't
been together that long,
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27. but these last ten months have
just been the happiest of my life.
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28. You're not only the person I love,
you're also my best friend,
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29. and I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.
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30. Will you marry me?
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31. Yes.
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32. Seriously.
Do you think that sounds good?
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33. No!
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34. Really? 'Cause I think
that kinda sums up...
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35. No!
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36. Oh? Oh, sorry. Sorry.
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37. Sometimes these catheters
can pinch a little bit.
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38. Well, thanks for listening.
I really appreciate it.
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39. You've got a real
gentle touch there, Doctor.
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40. She won't be able to say no.
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41. Actually, I'm a nurse.
Doctor'll be right in.
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42. Good luck, Greg.
Thanks, Kim.
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43. Good luck, buddy.
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44. Okay, it's time for
our problem of the week.
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45. I want you to
pick out your problem,
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46. a problem that's been
bothering you all week.
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47. With your eyes still closed,
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48. I want you to picture
that problem in your mind.
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49. Pretend that it's right there
in front of you.
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50. Not only are you
my best friend,
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51. but you're also the person I wanna
spend the rest of my life with.
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52. I love you.
Will you marry me?
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53. Now I want you to scare
your problems away.
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54. I want you to say boo.
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55. Boo.
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56. Boo!
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57. All right, you guys are great.
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58. Very good. I will see you guys
after lunch, all right?
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59. Hey, Pam, isn't that
your special friend outside?
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60. Yeah, I think so.
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61. Why don't you go talk to him?
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62. You think I should?
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63. Yeah.
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64. Come here.
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65. Hi, sweetie.
How you doing?
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66. What's going on?
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67. I was in the neighborhood,
got off work early.
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68. Thought maybe you wanted
to get a bite to eat.
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69. That's very sweet.
What a nice surprise.
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70. Oh, shoot, I forgot to
change my shoes.
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71. You don't have to change.
I can't resist a man in nurse's shoes.
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72. I know, but I got sneakers
in my backpack.
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73. It'll just take a second.
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74. Okay.
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75. Honey.
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76. Pam...
Yeah?
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77. I love you.
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78. I love you too.
Come on, sweetie.
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79. I got a half hour before I have to
be back, so you wanna go have lunch?
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80. What are you doing?
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81. Nothing.
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82. I just love you so much.
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83. These last ten months have
been the happiest of my life.
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84. Yeah, they've been amazing.
What's going on?
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85. Nothing. I just feel like
we're so close.
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86. You're my best friend, and you're
also the woman that I love, and...
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87. Are you okay, sweetie?
You're acting so weird.
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88. I'm fine. I just got a crick in my neck.
I was doing C. P. R.
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89. On a 300-pound crack addict this morning.
Oh, my goodness!
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90. Do you want me to massage
your neck or something?
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91. No, no, no, I'm fine, I'm good.
A back rub? Are you sure?
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92. Honey, look, your kids, they're
trying to tell you something.
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93. Look!
What? Hold on.
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94. It's my sister. Hello? Hi!
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95. I'm engaged!
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96. You're engaged! That's wonderful.
Congratulations!
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97. Oh, my God, you're getting married in two weeks.
That's a little soon.
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98. Wow, Mom and Dad really don't know Bob very well.
Dad was okay with this?
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99. Well, Bob asked Dad.
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100. Wow, that was very
thoughtful of him.
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101. I can't believe he knew
to ask Dad's permission.
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102. Yeah.
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103. I'm just here with Greg.
He's gonna take me out for lunch. He's okay.
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104. Okay, yeah, I know you gotta go.
I love you.
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105. Okay, talk to you soon. Bye.
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106. So what's going on? What?
Debbie's marrying that guy?
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107. Yeah, in two weeks.
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108. Dr. Bob of Denver.
isn't that great?
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109. Yeah, yeah, that's...
Didn't they just meet like a few months ago?
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110. Well, yeah, but, you know, he
asked her, and she said yes.
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111. Actually, he asked my dad.
He said yes. Then he asked Debbie.
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112. Yeah, I overheard that.
So, what, like he had to ask his permission?
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113. No, no, he didn't have to.
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114. Bob just understood that Dad
appreciates that kind of thing.
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115. Anyway, Deb said
Dad's crazy about him.
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116. Evidently, Bob bought him, like, the
perfect gift that just won him over.
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117. You know?
Really? A gift?
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118. Are you sure it's okay
to X-ray this?
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119. Yeah, it's not gonna
mutate or anything.
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120. Sir, that's not gonna fit.
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121. Wait. Hang on a second.
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122. The bag's too big, guy.
You gotta check it.
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123. Over here.
Raise your arms, sir.
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124. Look. I've got an engagement ring
for my girlfriend in the bag.
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125. I can't open it here.
Don't you think I can just carry it on?
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126. Hey, pal, if it ain't fitting through the
frame, you ain't carrying it on the plane.
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127. 531, New York La Guardia.
Check it.
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128. Wait, wait! Excuse me!
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129. Don't worry. It'll be waiting
for you on the other side.
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130. Baby, hurry
Don't make me worry
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131. Welcome to
New York's La Guardia Airport.
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132. Excuse me. Hi.
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133. You lost my bag, and there's a
two-carat diamond ring inside it.
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134. I didn't
lose your anything, sir.
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135. But put your local address on this form,
and we'll ship it when it surfaces.
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136. And what if it doesn't?
Am I supposed to spend the entire weekend
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137. with just the clothes
on my back?
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138. it's a great gift.
I just thought you were gonna get them champagne.
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139. Trust me. I think your dad is gonna
be very psyched about this gift.
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140. Well, don't forget
he's retired, though.
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141. The guy was in the rare-flower
business for 30 years.
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142. I think he still maintains
an interest.
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143. You make it sound like
they're really hard to please.
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144. No, not at all!
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145. He's the sweetest man in the whole world.
Just relax!
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146. He's gonna love you.
I promise.
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147. As much as he loves
Dr. Bob?
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148. Take it easy on the sarcasm.
Humor is entirely wasted on my parents.
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149. What, are they Amish?
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150. Okay, no jokes.
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151. What are you doing?
What?
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152. I told you my dad sees smoking
as a sign of weakness.
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153. Okay, all right,
I'll leave them in the car.
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154. No, no, no, no,
he'll check there. Oh, gosh.
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155. What...
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156. Yeah, the roof is probably
a better idea.
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157. Okay. And,
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158. we're not living together.
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159. I thought you said
you told him.
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160. Well...
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161. Hi, Daddy! Hi!
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162. Sweet pea!
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163. I missed you so much, Pamcake.
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164. I missed you too, Flapjack.
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165. Oh, boy, oh, boy!
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166. Short stack,
short stack, coming up.
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167. Where's my "wittle" girl?
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168. Mommy! Mom!
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169. You look so beautiful.
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170. So do you. Look at you.
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171. Oh, I'm sorry.
Mom, Dad, this is Greg.
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172. Hi, Greg. I'm Pam's father,
Jack Byrnes.
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173. Great to finally meet you.
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174. Good meeting you.
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175. And I'm Dina.
Welcome to Oyster Bay.
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176. Oh, thanks.
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177. What are you driving there,
a Ford?
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178. Yeah, it's a Taurus.
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179. We were gonna get a mid-size, but I
figure, hey, we pull down decent bucks.
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180. Might as well go all out,
pop for the full-size.
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181. Sure. Interesting color.
You pick it?
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182. Oh, no, the guy
at the counter. Why?
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183. Well, they say geniuses
pick green.
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184. But you didn't pick it.
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185. Jack!
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186. Yucky. What smells
of old sour milk?
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187. Poor Greg got
spit up on by a baby.
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188. He didn't.
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189. Yeah, he did, Ma, at the lost luggage counter.
The airline lost his bag.
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190. They didn't!
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191. Yeah.
Yeah, they did.
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192. What about you, honey?
No, no, no. I carried on.
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193. That's my girl.
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194. It'll turn up, I'm sure.
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195. And anyway, Greg, meanwhile,
anything you need, just ask.
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196. That's right.
Mi casa es su casa.
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197. Thanks, Jack. You too.
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198. Yeah.
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199. This is so nice.
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200. We like it.
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201. Beautiful.
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202. Now, Greg, you have
a very unique last name.
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203. We were curious,
how do you pronounce it?
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204. Just like it's spelled.
F-O-C-K-E-R.
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205. Focker.
Focker.
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206. Mmm-hmm.
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207. Oh, I'll get it, honey.
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208. Oh, thanks, Mom.
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209. There he is.
There's our little guy.
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210. Jinxy, come here, boy.
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211. Come here, baby. Come to Daddy, Jinxy.
Come on. Come on, Jinxy.
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212. Jinxy!
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213. Come here. Come to Daddy.
Come on.
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214. Taught him that in one week.
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215. This is Pam's cat, Jinxy.
Jinxy, say hello to Greg.
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216. Hi, Jinx.
Wave to Greg.
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217. Hello, Jinx.
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218. Attaboy. That took me
another week.
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219. Oh, my gosh.
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220. Pam, I didn't know
you had a cat.
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221. Yeah, I left him here
when I moved to Chicago.
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222. Your daddy's found
his new best friend.
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223. You won't believe it.
He even taught him to use the potty.
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224. He did? Dad, that's kind of
weird, isn't it?
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225. What's so weird about it?
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226. Now we don't have to smell
kitty litter all the time.
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227. That's right.
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228. That's incredible.
How did you teach the cat to use the toilet?
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229. That was easy, Greg. I just designed a
litter box to put inside the toilet,
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230. and then once he got
used to it, I took it away.
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231. Yeah, makes sense.
But I don't think he likes it.
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232. I mean, every chance he gets, he
tries to dig, squat and bury.
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233. I had to move all my potted
plants off the floor.
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234. Plus, you got another guy around
the house to leave the seat up.
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235. He can't lift the seat, Greg.
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236. He lacks the strength
and the opposable thumbs.
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237. Yeah.
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238. Right. Opposable. ..
I didn't think about that.
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239. Jinx is strictly a house cat.
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240. Can't let him outside because he
lacks outdoor survival skills.
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241. Okay.One of those
things, isn't it, sweetheart?
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242. I don't think Greg will be playing
with Jinxy too much. He hates cats.
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243. Pam, I don't hate cats.
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244. I don't hate cats.
I just happen to be more of a dog lover.
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245. Yeah, yeah.
I am too.
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246. Well, that's okay
if you hate cats, Greg.
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247. No! I don't.
I don't hate cats at all.
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248. That's okay.
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249. Just be honest about it.
There's some things I hate.
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250. I'm being honest.
Really? Like what?
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251. Honey, why don't we let
the kids freshen up, huh?
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252. Greg, you come with me.
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253. We'll get you something to
wear from Jack's closet, okay?
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254. Okay.
Honey.
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255. Yeah?
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256. I'm so happy you're home,
sweetheart.
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257. Me too, Daddy.
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258. Hey, listen, be nice to this one, okay?
I kind of like him.
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259. Okay, I'll try.
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260. Thank you.
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261. Shirt fit okay, Greg?
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262. Fantastic. Thanks, Jack.
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263. Good. Tom Collins coming up.
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264. You know, I wish you hadn't
told your parents I hate cats.
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265. But you do hate cats.
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266. Yeah, but you didn't have to
tell them right when we met.
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267. I know. I'm sorry.
it just kind of slipped out.
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268. Get your red-hot pupus.
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269. My goodness, what is that?
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270. That's just a little
something from me.
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271. Go ahead. Open it up.
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272. Look, honey,
Greg brought us a present.
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273. isn't that nice?
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274. Look at this.
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275. It's a flower pot
with the dirt in it.
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276. Actually, the real gift
is what's planted in the soil.
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277. The bulb of a Jerusalem tulip,
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278. which I was told is one of the rarest and
most beautiful flowers in existence.
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279. Right, the Jerusalem...
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280. From the "Jerusales
tulipesias" genus. Yes.
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281. Anyway, the guy said
with regular watering,
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282. it should bloom in
about six months, so...
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283. We'll look forward
to that, Greg.
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284. So, Greg, how's your job?
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285. Good, Pam. Thanks for asking.
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286. I recently got
transferred to triage.
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287. Is that better than a nurse?
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288. No, Mom, triage
is a unit of the E. R.
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289. It's where all the top nurses work.
Well...
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290. No, they do.
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291. Not many men in your profession,
though, are there, Greg?
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292. No, Jack, not traditionally.
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293. Pam, honey, did you know that your
father started his own business?
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294. Really? Dad, that's great.
Wow!
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295. Yes, I thought with
my knowledge and experience,
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296. why should I allow
retirement to stop me?
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297. I really admire that.
Yeah.
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298. So what is it?
What's the new venture?
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299. Let me ask you
a question, Greg.
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300. Let's just say you have kids and
you wanna get out of the house,
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301. spend a night on the town.
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302. So, you hire a baby-sitter,
someone you think you can trust.
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303. References, work experience,
it all checks out fine.
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304. But then how do you
really know for certain
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305. that your loved ones are safe
with this stranger?
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306. I mean, can you ever really trust
another human being, Greg?
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307. Sure, I think so.
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308. No, the answer is you cannot.
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309. Let me show you something.
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310. Take a look at this, Greg.
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311. What's this look like to you?
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312. This looks like a teddy bear.
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313. Smile, you're on
"Nanny Camera."
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314. Yeah! I've seen these things
advertised on TV.
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315. No, not like this,
you haven't. Take a look.
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316. Oh, my gosh. Hi!
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317. Where's the other camera?
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318. Right here in this
decorative artifact.
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319. Wow, that's great.
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320. Our cameras are
motion-activated,
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321. so they begin taping as soon
as they sense any movement.
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322. We can hide them in anything.
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323. We hide them in mirrors, lamps,
televisions, you name it.
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324. So no matter where you go,
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325. we'll be watching you.
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326. So, Jack, couldn't this maybe be construed as illegal?
You know, invasion of privacy?
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327. Trust me, Greg, when you start having
little Fockers running around,
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328. you'll understand the need
for this level of protection.
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329. Impressive, isn't it?
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330. Quite.
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331. I'll get that.
I'll get it.
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332. Honey, I'll get it.
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333. Okay.
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334. Any problem
with the documents?
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335. Okay. I'll meet you at the Oyster
Bay Drugstore in about 20 minutes.
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336. Now you gotta be more careful
when you call here.
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337. If anybody else answers,
just use a Southern accent
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338. and ask for the
vegetarian special, okay?
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339. That wasn't the airline,
was it?
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340. Nope, wrong number.
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341. We're all out of Collins mix, so I'm
gonna make a run for the store.
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342. That's funny. I thought
I just bought some.
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343. You know how that stuff, it just
goes, so I'll be back in a jiff.
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344. Well, why doesn't
Greg go with you?
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345. Sweetie, you'll need something in
case your suitcase doesn't show up.
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346. I'm sure it'll show up.
Yeah.
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347. You don't wanna take a chance.
You don't have a toothbrush.
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348. Go on, sweetie.
Yeah.
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349. Okay, unless you
want some privacy.
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350. Why would I need privacy?
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351. No, I didn't think you would.
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352. Okay, let's head out.
Good.
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353. Bye.
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354. Have fun, you guys.
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355. Pam, he seems wonderful.
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356. He is. We have
the best time together.
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357. Good.
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358. Now, have you two been...
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359. Mother! Thinking about
anything permanent.
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360. I don't know.
I mean, we haven't really discussed it,
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361. but I definitely
have a feeling this is it.
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362. Dad seems to like him.
Don't you think?
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363. Absolutely.
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364. Big day, Saturday.
Nice car.
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365. Yes. This car is...
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366. You got... What do you use?
Unleaded? Regular unleaded?
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367. Premium.
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368. Hey, you know, Jack, now that
we have a second to talk,
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369. I just want you to know
how much Pam means to me.
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370. I know that we haven't
been together that long,
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371. but the time that we have spent
together has been really incredible.
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372. Greg, how come
you don't like cats?
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373. I don't not like cats.
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374. I just prefer dogs.
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375. I mean, I'm just more of
a dog kind of, you know...
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376. Come home, wagging their little
tails, happy to see you kind of...
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377. You need that assurance?
You prefer an emotionally shallow animal?
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378. I...
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379. You see, Greg,
when you yell at a dog,
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380. his tail will go between his legs and cover
his genitals, his ears will go down.
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381. A dog is very easy to break, but cats
make you work for their affection.
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382. They don't sell out
the way dogs do.
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383. Huh.
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384. You like Peter,
Paul, and Mary?
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385. Yes, I do. I'm a big fan.
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386. Puff, the magic dragon
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387. Dragon
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388. Lived by the sea
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389. Great song.
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390. Yeah, one of my favorites.
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391. Who would've thought it wasn't
really about a dragon, huh?
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392. What do you mean?
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393. You know,
the whole drug thing.
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394. No, I don't know.
Why don't you tell me?
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395. Some people think that
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396. to "puff the magic dragon"
means to...
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397. They're really...
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398. To smoke
Copy !req
399. a marijuana cigarette.
Copy !req
400. Well, Puff's just the name
of the boy's magical dragon.
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401. Right.
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402. Are you a pothead, Focker?
No! No.
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403. What? No, no, no, no, Jack.
No, I'm not.
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404. I pass on grass all the time.
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405. I mean, not all the time.
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406. Yes or no, Greg?
No. Yes. No.
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407. Hey, Greg, I'll meet you back out
front in about 12 to 15 minutes.
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408. Okay.
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409. Hey. Hi.
Hey, how you doing?
Copy !req
410. Do you have any of
those nicotine patches?
Copy !req
411. No. We have the gum.
Copy !req
412. Great.
You chew it.
Copy !req
413. Thank you. Yes, okay. And what's your
most expensive bottle of champagne?
Copy !req
414. Mumm's. It's on sale
for $13.95.
Copy !req
415. Really? That's it?
Copy !req
416. You don't have, like, a nice, like,
$80 or $100 bottle of something?
Copy !req
417. You can get
a whole bunch of Mumm's.
Copy !req
418. Focker.
Hey, Jack. Ready to go?
Copy !req
419. I've been ready, yeah.
They ran out of Collins mix.
Copy !req
420. You been waiting here long?
Copy !req
421. No, I was just
reading up about...
Copy !req
422. Pumps.
Copy !req
423. Pumps?
Copy !req
424. Yes. Breast pumps.
Copy !req
425. I grew up on a farm.
Copy !req
426. Danke schoen
Copy !req
427. Get your hot buns,
hot patooties.
Copy !req
428. Wow, Dina,
everything looks fabulous.
Copy !req
429. It's such a treat for me to have
a home-cooked meal like this.
Copy !req
430. Dinner at my house usually consisted
of everybody in the kitchen
Copy !req
431. fighting over containers
of Chinese food.
Copy !req
432. You poor thing. What, there
wasn't enough food to go around?
Copy !req
433. No, there was. We just never really
sat down like a family like this.
Copy !req
434. Greg, would you
like to say grace?
Copy !req
435. Well, Greg's Jewish, Dad.
You know that.
Copy !req
436. You're telling me
Jews don't pray, honey?
Copy !req
437. Unless you have
some objection.
Copy !req
438. No, no, no, no, I'd love to.
Copy !req
439. Pam, come on, it's not like
I'm a rabbi or something.
Copy !req
440. I said grace
at many a dinner table.
Copy !req
441. Okay.
Copy !req
442. O dear God,
Copy !req
443. thank you.
Copy !req
444. You are such a good God to us,
a kind and gentle
Copy !req
445. and accommodating God.
Copy !req
446. And we thank you, O sweet,
Copy !req
447. sweet Lord of hosts,
Copy !req
448. for the
Copy !req
449. smorgasbord you have so aptly
Copy !req
450. lain at our table this day
Copy !req
451. and each day... By day.
Copy !req
452. Day by day by day.
Copy !req
453. O dear Lord,
Copy !req
454. three things we pray.
Copy !req
455. To love thee more dearly,
Copy !req
456. to see thee more clearly,
Copy !req
457. to follow thee more nearly...
Copy !req
458. Day by day... by day.
Copy !req
459. Amen.
Amen.
Copy !req
460. Greg, that was lovely.
Copy !req
461. Thank you, Greg.
That was interesting too.
Copy !req
462. Oh, that's a lovely vase.
That's great.
Copy !req
463. Let me guess, Jack.
Is that one of your secret cameras too?
Copy !req
464. Greg, that's an urn which holds
the remains of Jack's mother.
Copy !req
465. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
466. That's all right.
You didn't know, Greg.
Copy !req
467. I'm...
That's our Gran-gran.
Copy !req
468. We like to think of her
as watching over us as we eat.
Copy !req
469. Love you, Ma. Miss you.
Copy !req
470. Miss you every day.
Copy !req
471. Oh, honey, why don't you
read Greg your poem?
Copy !req
472. No, he doesn't
want to hear that.
Copy !req
473. What? No! What poem?
Copy !req
474. You see, when Jack had to
retire for health reasons...
Copy !req
475. That's a bunch of malarkey.
Honey, I'm fine.
Copy !req
476. The doctor thought it would be
therapeutic if he
Copy !req
477. sort of expressed his emotions
in an artistic way.
Copy !req
478. Honey, you wrote the most
beautiful poem about your mother.
Copy !req
479. Please, we really
wanna hear it.
Copy !req
480. Poem, poem.
Please!
Copy !req
481. All right.
it's a work in progress.
Copy !req
482. I'm still not happy with it.
Copy !req
483. As soon as it's ready,
Copy !req
484. then I am going to
glaze it onto a plate,
Copy !req
485. and put it next to the urn.
Nice.
Copy !req
486. It's very special.
Copy !req
487. "My Mother" by Jack Byrnes.
Copy !req
488. "You gave me life,
you gave me milk,
Copy !req
489. "you gave me courage.
Copy !req
490. "Your name was Angela,
the angel from heaven,
Copy !req
491. "but you were also an angel of
God, and He needed you too.
Copy !req
492. "Selfishly I tried
to keep you here
Copy !req
493. "while the cancer
ate away your organs
Copy !req
494. "like an unstoppable
rebel force.
Copy !req
495. "But I couldn't save you,
and I shall see your face
Copy !req
496. "nevermore, nevermore,
Copy !req
497. "nevermore,
Copy !req
498. "until we meet...
in heaven."
Copy !req
499. Daddy, that's beautiful.
Copy !req
500. It always gets me.
Copy !req
501. Amazing.
Copy !req
502. So much love,
yet also so much information.
Copy !req
503. It takes a lot out of him.
Copy !req
504. Greg, would you
like some yams?
Copy !req
505. Thank you. Yeah.
Copy !req
506. You must've had vegetables fresher
than that, growing up on a farm, Greg.
Copy !req
507. Dad, Greg grew up in Detroit.
Copy !req
508. He told me he grew up
on a farm.
Copy !req
509. Do they have
many farms in Detroit?
Copy !req
510. No, Dina, no, not a lot.
Copy !req
511. In fact, Jack,
I should clarify this.
Copy !req
512. I didn't actually grow up
on a farm, per se.
Copy !req
513. The house we grew up in
was originally erected
Copy !req
514. in the early Dutch farm,
colonial style.
Copy !req
515. So that,
plus we had a lot of pets...
Copy !req
516. Which one did you milk then?
Copy !req
517. Dad!
Copy !req
518. Honey, he said he pumped milk.
Copy !req
519. What have you ever milked?
Copy !req
520. A cat.
Copy !req
521. A cat?
Copy !req
522. I milked a cat once.
You wanna hear a story?
Copy !req
523. Sure.
Copy !req
524. My sister had a cat, and the cat
birthed a litter of kittens.
Copy !req
525. Must've been 30 of them, and
there was this one little runt,
Copy !req
526. this little sweet
little-engine-that-could runt
Copy !req
527. who wanted to get up there and
couldn't really get access to the...
Copy !req
528. To the teat.
Copy !req
529. Teat?
Copy !req
530. Dad.
What have you.
Copy !req
531. I went in and just simply,
you know...
Copy !req
532. Into a little saucer,
Copy !req
533. then took the saucer and fed it to Geppetto.
That's what I named him.
Copy !req
534. I had no idea
you could milk a cat.
Copy !req
535. Yeah, you can
milk anything with nipples.
Copy !req
536. I have nipples, Greg.
Could you milk me?
Copy !req
537. Okay, could we change
the subject perhaps?
Copy !req
538. Champagne, champagne.
Yes.
Copy !req
539. I thought maybe we could
celebrate with a little bubbly.
Copy !req
540. That'd be great.
Copy !req
541. Good idea.
Copy !req
542. "I have nipples.
Can you milk me?"
Copy !req
543. Well, in a funny way, you've
already seen Deb's ring.
Copy !req
544. That's true.
Copy !req
545. Would anybody care for a bottle of Oyster
Bay Drug and Sundry's finest champagne?
Copy !req
546. That is so sweet of you, Greg.
isn't that a nice gesture?
Copy !req
547. That's very nice.
Copy !req
548. How could I have seen
Debbie's ring, Mom?
Copy !req
549. Well, when I gave Bob the okay
to propose to Deb,
Copy !req
550. I put him in touch
with my diamond guy,
Copy !req
551. and he picked out the same
design Kevin gave you.
Copy !req
552. Kevin, your old boyfriend?
Copy !req
553. Thanks, Dad.
Copy !req
554. Well, yeah,
Kevin was Pam's fiancé.
Copy !req
555. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
556. Jinxy, no!
Copy !req
557. Oh, God.
Copy !req
558. Shit.
Copy !req
559. Greg, sweetie, how you doing?
Copy !req
560. Just fine, considering I
desecrated your grandma's remains,
Copy !req
561. found out you were engaged and had
your father ask me to milk him.
Copy !req
562. At least back then
he was still talking to me.
Copy !req
563. I can't believe you didn't
tell me you were that close.
Copy !req
564. Who, Daddy and me?
Copy !req
565. No, Kevin and you.
Copy !req
566. Do we have to know everything
about each ether's pasts?
Copy !req
567. You never told me about your
cat-milking days in Motown.
Copy !req
568. That was a long time ago, Pam.
Copy !req
569. Yeah, okay, well, so was this.
Copy !req
570. Kevin's and my connection was
more physical than anything else.
Copy !req
571. Physical? Like what?
Like you worked out together?
Copy !req
572. No, no, it was nothing, nothing.
it was a stupid sexual thing.
Copy !req
573. I'm gonna go throw up now.
Copy !req
574. Greg, listen.
Copy !req
575. Kevin and I were only engaged for a month
before I realized that I'd made a mistake.
Copy !req
576. I gave back the ring,
I moved to Chicago,
Copy !req
577. and I met and fell in love with you,
okay, so can we please drop this?
Copy !req
578. Okay.
Copy !req
579. Good.
Copy !req
580. I just feel like this is
not going well at all.
Copy !req
581. I feel like your dad hates me.
Copy !req
582. He doesn't hate you, sweetie.
Copy !req
583. Come on. Just give him
a chance, all right?
Copy !req
584. Maybe he's nervous too, huh?
Copy !req
585. I thought he would love my gift, you
know, being this big flower guy,
Copy !req
586. but it's like he didn't even show
the slightest bit of interest.
Copy !req
587. Listen to me. Forget the gift.
Copy !req
588. You are the most adorable, loving,
sweetest man in the whole world,
Copy !req
589. and I love you.
Copy !req
590. And very soon my parents
are gonna see that
Copy !req
591. and grow to
love you too, okay?
Copy !req
592. Okay?
Copy !req
593. Speaking of growing
to love you...
Copy !req
594. Honey, it's late. Come on.
I know it's late.
Copy !req
595. But Mr. Winky
is still on Chicago time,
Copy !req
596. and we both know there's only one
way to make Mr. Winky go away.
Copy !req
597. And there it is.
Copy !req
598. What's with the robe?
Copy !req
599. It's Pam's. My pajamas are in the
suitcase with everything else.
Copy !req
600. Hey, I'll lend you
a pair of Jack's. Okay, honey?
Copy !req
601. Sure.
Copy !req
602. You don't have to do that, Dina.
No, no, no.
Copy !req
603. No, that's fine. We have to.
Copy !req
604. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Copy !req
605. Look, Greg, I just wanna say, don't
worry about what happened tonight.
Copy !req
606. Oh, thanks, Jack.
Still, I feel horrible. I mean...
Copy !req
607. Well, it was a horrible thing.
Copy !req
608. But let's just put all that behind
us and enjoy our weekend together.
Copy !req
609. Okay. Okay.
Copy !req
610. Thank you, Daddy.
Copy !req
611. Thank you.
Thanks, Mom.
Copy !req
612. These'll do just fine.
Good night.
Copy !req
613. Night-night.
Copy !req
614. Good night.
Copy !req
615. Good night, sweetie.
See you in the morning.
Copy !req
616. Have a nice sleep.
Okay, you too.
Copy !req
617. No, Greg, we made up the pullout
for you down in the den.
Copy !req
618. Okay, 'cause Pam said I should
sleep in Debbie's room.
Copy !req
619. Well, Debbie'll be
sleeping here tomorrow.
Copy !req
620. This way, you'll have more privacy,
you'll have your own bathroom.
Copy !req
621. Just try not to flush the toilet.
it's always a little quirky.
Copy !req
622. Okay.
Copy !req
623. One more thing.
Copy !req
624. I'm a realist. I understand
it's the 21 st century,
Copy !req
625. and you've probably had premarital
relations with my daughter.
Copy !req
626. But under our roof, it's my way
or the Long island Expressway.
Copy !req
627. Is that understood?
Copy !req
628. Of course, yeah.
Copy !req
629. Good. Keep your snake
in its cage for 72 hours.
Copy !req
630. Okay.
Copy !req
631. Welcome to Atlantic American
Airways' Lost Luggage Department.
Copy !req
632. At Atlantic American Airways, customer
satisfaction always comes first.
Copy !req
633. We are experiencing
heavy call volume.
Copy !req
634. Your call is
very important to us.
Copy !req
635. It will be answered
in approximately 27 minutes.
Copy !req
636. Please press "1 " if you'd like
to talk to a representative.
Copy !req
637. We are closed for the night.
Please call back...
Copy !req
638. Sorry.
Copy !req
639. I don't know what it is, but there's just
something about him that's a little off.
Copy !req
640. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jack, you know
we've been through this
Copy !req
641. with every boyfriend Pam has had
since, what, middle school.
Copy !req
642. I think Greg...
He's a lovely young man.
Copy !req
643. And, honey, Pam thinks
he might be the one.
Copy !req
644. She said that?
She said those exact words?
Copy !req
645. I didn't tape record her, Jack,
but that's the impression.
Copy !req
646. What kind of a family doesn't
have time to sit down for dinner?
Copy !req
647. Fugitives.
Copy !req
648. Please try to enjoy
the weekend, honey.
Copy !req
649. Both our daughters
are in love.
Copy !req
650. That's what
I'm worried about.
Copy !req
651. Geez, I just realized something.
What?
Copy !req
652. Pam's middle name.
Copy !req
653. Martha.
Copy !req
654. Oh, no.
Copy !req
655. Pamela Martha Focker.
Copy !req
656. "Operation Ko Samui"?
Copy !req
657. Looking for something,
Greg?
Copy !req
658. Jesus, Jack, you scared me.
Copy !req
659. I heard a noise, so I came down
to see if everything was okay.
Copy !req
660. Everything's fine. I just... I'm sorry.
I saw a light on, and I kinda stumbled in.
Copy !req
661. I didn't realize...
Copy !req
662. That's okay.
See anything interesting?
Copy !req
663. No, not at all. I mean...
Copy !req
664. I mean, this is great, though. I love this.
What you... It's a cozy little nook.
Copy !req
665. I noticed you were looking
at that when I came in.
Copy !req
666. Yeah.
Copy !req
667. It's an antique
polygraph machine.
Copy !req
668. Is that what that is?
I've seen these before,
Copy !req
669. but I never saw one
actually up close.
Copy !req
670. You know what?
Copy !req
671. Why don't you try that on?
Copy !req
672. Oh, that's okay.
Copy !req
673. Come on. We'll have some fun.
I'll show you how it works.
Copy !req
674. I shouldn't.
Copy !req
675. Why should you be afraid?
You have nothing to hide.
Copy !req
676. No, I know.
Copy !req
677. I know you know, so there
shouldn't be any problem.
Copy !req
678. No, there's no problem.
Copy !req
679. So, try it on.
Copy !req
680. Okay.
Copy !req
681. I'll help you.
Copy !req
682. Don't worry.
You'll enjoy this.
Copy !req
683. All right.
Copy !req
684. Looks complicated.
Now these aren't 100% accurate, right?
Copy !req
685. They're...
Copy !req
686. You'd be surprised
how accurate they are.
Copy !req
687. They can tell fairly easily
if someone's lying or not.
Copy !req
688. Now I'm gonna ask you
some questions,
Copy !req
689. and all you have to do
is answer "yes" or "no".
Copy !req
690. Okay.
All right.
Copy !req
691. Let's give it a whirl.
Copy !req
692. Did you fly
on an airplane today?
Copy !req
693. Yes, I did.
Copy !req
694. No peeking.
Copy !req
695. Did we eat pot roast
for dinner tonight?
Copy !req
696. Yes.
Copy !req
697. Was it undercooked?
Copy !req
698. No, it was rare.
Copy !req
699. It was a little rare
for my taste.
Copy !req
700. But I wouldn't...
Copy !req
701. I'm just kidding,
I'm just...
Copy !req
702. Relax. Relax.
The needles are jumping.
Copy !req
703. Have you ever watched
pornographic videos?
Copy !req
704. No.
Copy !req
705. I mean, well, I don't...
Copy !req
706. Yes or no?
Copy !req
707. Hey!
Copy !req
708. Hey.
Copy !req
709. What's the matter?
You can't sleep?
Copy !req
710. No, I'm just going over
some of my answers
Copy !req
711. from the polygraph test
your dad gave me.
Copy !req
712. Oh, no, he didn't.
Copy !req
713. Yeah, he did.
Copy !req
714. Well, did you lie to him?
Copy !req
715. No! I mean, well, he asked me if
we were living together and...
Copy !req
716. What'd you tell him?
Copy !req
717. Nothing. Your mother walked in
Copy !req
718. and yanked the little thingies
off before I had to answer.
Copy !req
719. Is this how you'd react if I told you he
shoved bamboo shoots up my fingernails?
Copy !req
720. Or does he hook all your boyfriends
up to his little machine?
Copy !req
721. Well, he doesn't need a machine.
He's a human lie detector.
Copy !req
722. What?
Copy !req
723. Greg, my father was never
in the rare flower business.
Copy !req
724. That was just his cover.
Copy !req
725. He was in the C.I.A.
for 34 years.
Copy !req
726. How could you
not tell me this?
Copy !req
727. I wanted to, honey, but it was
strictly on a need-to-know basis.
Copy !req
728. So, what? He's in the C.I.A.?
He was a spy? He is a spy?
Copy !req
729. No, he was more like
a psychological profiler.
Copy !req
730. They used him to interrogate suspected
double agents in the company.
Copy !req
731. Oh, that's great. Yeah.
Copy !req
732. I was scared of your dad back
when I thought he was a florist.
Copy !req
733. It's wonderful to know that I've actually
got a C.I.A. spy-hunter on my ass.
Copy !req
734. Would you stop?
You're doing great, okay?
Copy !req
735. This is a lot to take in,
honey. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
736. It's just weird.
Copy !req
737. I know, but you're doing fine.
Copy !req
738. I promise.
Copy !req
739. No!
What's wrong, sweetie?
Copy !req
740. I forgot. I'm not supposed to
let the snake out of my cage.
Copy !req
741. Your what?
Copy !req
742. I told your dad I wouldn't
touch you for 72 hours.
Copy !req
743. Okay, I'm not in
junior high anymore, so...
Copy !req
744. No. Seriously.
Copy !req
745. I want to try to
respect his rules, okay?
Copy !req
746. Okay. Fine.
Copy !req
747. Why don't you go ahead and get some
sleep, and I'll see you in the morning.
Copy !req
748. Okay.
Copy !req
749. Morning, Greg.
Copy !req
750. Good morning.
Copy !req
751. Pam told me she let you in on a
little secret of mine last night.
Copy !req
752. Yes, she did.
Copy !req
753. Well, as long as you can keep your
mouth shut for the rest of your life,
Copy !req
754. you're in no immediate danger.
Copy !req
755. I won't tell.
Copy !req
756. I'm just being humorous.
Copy !req
757. That was funny.
Copy !req
758. But the fact is, Greg, with the
knowledge you've been given,
Copy !req
759. you are now on the inside
of what I like to call
Copy !req
760. "the Byrnes family
circle of trust."
Copy !req
761. I keep nothing from you,
you keep nothing from me
Copy !req
762. and round and round we go.
Copy !req
763. Okay. Understood.
Copy !req
764. Okay, good. Come on.
Let's go inside and have breakfast.
Copy !req
765. Jinxy cat, Jinxy
cat, where are you?
Copy !req
766. I love you
Copy !req
767. Jinxy. Jinxy.
Copy !req
768. Not at the table,
honey, please.
Copy !req
769. Attaboy!
Copy !req
770. Hey, hey, look who's up!
Copy !req
771. Hi, sweetie.
You must be Greg.
Copy !req
772. Hello.
Copy !req
773. Look, somebody had
a visit from the hair fairy.
Copy !req
774. Yes.
Nice 'do, nice 'do.
Copy !req
775. I'll do the intros. Greg.
This is my sister, Debbie.
Copy !req
776. Hi. Nice to meet you.
The bride to be.
Copy !req
777. Congratulations.
And her fiancé, Dr. Bob.
Copy !req
778. You can call me Bob... M. D.
Copy !req
779. These are his parents,
Linda Banks...
Copy !req
780. Hi. How are you?
Nice to meet you.
Copy !req
781. And the world-famous
plastic surgeon, Dr. Larry.
Copy !req
782. Now, cut that out.
Copy !req
783. You know, Greg's in medicine,
too, Larry.
Copy !req
784. Really? What field?
Copy !req
785. Nursing.
Copy !req
786. That's good.
Copy !req
787. No, really. What field?
Copy !req
788. Nursing.
Copy !req
789. Hey, why don't
I get you a chair, Greg?
Copy !req
790. Thank you. Thanks.
Copy !req
791. So, you didn't want to
go for the M. D.?
Copy !req
792. No, I actually thought about becoming a
doctor, but I decided it wasn't for me.
Copy !req
793. Just as well.
Boards are killer.
Copy !req
794. Actually, Greg aced his MCATs.
Copy !req
795. You serious?
No, I did okay.
Copy !req
796. He did more than okay.
Trust me.
Copy !req
797. Why did you take the test if you weren't
planning on going to med school?
Copy !req
798. Well, I wanted to keep
my options open,
Copy !req
799. but in the end, nursing was
a better fit for me.
Copy !req
800. It gives you the freedom to work in
several different areas of medicine.
Copy !req
801. Plus, I can focus 100%
on patient care,
Copy !req
802. as opposed to being a doctor where you
have to deal with the bureaucracy.
Copy !req
803. Uh-oh. Wasn't your friend Andy
supposed to be here by now?
Copy !req
804. Oh, my God!
I thought Deb told you.
Copy !req
805. Dr. Andy threw out his back.
Copy !req
806. He can't make the wedding.
Copy !req
807. Oh, damn. Now I have to
reconfigure the whole procession.
Copy !req
808. Bob, why doesn't Greg stand in
for Andy, be the usher?
Copy !req
809. No, Pam, no.
Copy !req
810. That'll be fine.
Bob, Greg'll be your second usher.
Copy !req
811. Good.
Copy !req
812. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay, sure.
Copy !req
813. Good. Let's all finish up
and get ready to go
Copy !req
814. because we have a pre-activity
briefing in about 32 minutes.
Copy !req
815. Thirty-two minutes!
Copy !req
816. You know what? In that case,
I'd better get upstairs
Copy !req
817. and pay a little visit
to the shower fairy.
Copy !req
818. Dina, thank you
so much for breakfast.
Copy !req
819. Hey, you okay?
Copy !req
820. Why didn't you wake me up?
Copy !req
821. Because I thought
you'd like to sleep late.
Copy !req
822. Not when I'm a guest.
Copy !req
823. It's okay. Don't worry about it.
No, it's not okay.
Copy !req
824. Tell that to Dr. Torquemada in
there with the Grand inquisition.
Copy !req
825. Go take a shower, get dressed
and come back down.
Copy !req
826. Get dressed in what?
Copy !req
827. Borrow some more
of Dad's clothes.
Copy !req
828. No, I don't... Come on.
Why not, honey?
Copy !req
829. I just... No, I don't feel comfortable
wearing your dad's underwear.
Copy !req
830. Okay, well, go wake up Denny
and borrow some of his.
Copy !req
831. You want me to go wake up
your brother who I never met
Copy !req
832. and ask if I could have
some of his clothes?
Copy !req
833. Okay, all right.
Where's Denny's room?
Copy !req
834. Top of the stairs, turn right.
Copy !req
835. Denny?
Copy !req
836. Hello? Hello?
Copy !req
837. Hey! What the hell
you doing in here?
Copy !req
838. Hi. I'm Greg, Pam's friend.
Copy !req
839. What? Were you just
sniffing my boxers, dude?
Copy !req
840. No, dude, no. No, she said
I could come up here,
Copy !req
841. maybe borrow
some clothes from you.
Copy !req
842. Do me a favor. Close the door.
Copy !req
843. Okay.
Quick.
Copy !req
844. Tell anybody I wasn't here?
Copy !req
845. No, they think you're asleep.
Copy !req
846. Yeah, so, it's all good.
Copy !req
847. You scared me.
Copy !req
848. Dad keeps you guys under
a pretty close watch, huh?
Copy !req
849. No, it's not that bad.
Copy !req
850. Your little Pamcake's
got it a lot worse than I do.
Copy !req
851. You need some clothes.
Copy !req
852. Yes, that would be great.
Copy !req
853. Glad to hook you up.
All right? Cool.
Copy !req
854. Like what you done
with the crib.
Copy !req
855. Lil' Kim.
Copy !req
856. She's phat.
Copy !req
857. P-H, phat.
Copy !req
858. Yeah, I think these ought to do it.
All right, here you go, chief.
Copy !req
859. All right!
Enjoy!
Copy !req
860. Thanks a lot, Denny.
No problem.
Copy !req
861. And don't worry about the
little covert op, all right?
Copy !req
862. I'll keep it on the lowdown.
Down low.
Copy !req
863. No doubt.
Copy !req
864. People, people, come get
your revised itineraries.
Copy !req
865. Larry, Linda, Debbie,
Bob, honey.
Copy !req
866. Now, I'm gonna activate the alarm.
it'll go off in T minus 16 seconds.
Copy !req
867. I don't think I need a jacket.
Copy !req
868. It's cold out, honey. Hold on.
Copy !req
869. Here, take Denny's jacket.
Copy !req
870. Hey, Denny, I'm lending Greg
your jacket, okay?
Copy !req
871. Whatever.
Let's go.
Copy !req
872. Denny, how's the tux fit?
Copy !req
873. Dad...
Copy !req
874. What's that?
Copy !req
875. It's a sculpture
I found in Greg's jacket.
Copy !req
876. This isn't a sculpture, Denny.
This is a device for smoking marijuana.
Copy !req
877. Really?
Copy !req
878. Not mine. It's not.
Copy !req
879. Hey, Jack. How you doing?
Copy !req
880. I like the top hat.
Complements you.
Copy !req
881. Can I talk to you
for a minute?
Copy !req
882. Sit down.
Copy !req
883. Did I not clearly explain the
circle of trust to you, Greg?
Copy !req
884. Yeah, I think I got it.
Copy !req
885. Then is there something
you wanna tell me?
Copy !req
886. I don't think so.
Copy !req
887. Didn't we have a discussion
yesterday in the car about this?
Copy !req
888. Yes! You mean... Yes!
Copy !req
889. You mean me and Pam.
Yes, I would love to talk to you about that.
Copy !req
890. We're not talking about Pam.
We're talking about you.
Copy !req
891. See, if I can't trust you,
Greg, then I have no choice
Copy !req
892. but to put you right back
outside the circle.
Copy !req
893. And once you're out, you're out.
There's no coming back.
Copy !req
894. Well, I would definitely like
to stay inside the circle.
Copy !req
895. Well, then, tell me the truth.
Copy !req
896. Okay.
Copy !req
897. Jack, I don't know
what we're talking about.
Copy !req
898. All right, now look, Focker,
I'm a patient man.
Copy !req
899. That's what 19 months in a Vietnamese
prison camp will do to you.
Copy !req
900. But I will be watching you,
studying your every move.
Copy !req
901. And if I find that you are trying
to corrupt my firstborn child,
Copy !req
902. I will bring you down, baby.
Copy !req
903. I will bring you down
to Chinatown.
Copy !req
904. Where are we? I thought we
were going to Kevin's house.
Copy !req
905. We are, sweetie.
This is Kevin's new house.
Copy !req
906. Wow!
Copy !req
907. This is a crazy house.
Copy !req
908. Not bad, huh, Dad?
Copy !req
909. Maybe he uses marijuana for medicinal purposes.
People do that nowadays.
Copy !req
910. Honey, this kid has been lying to
us from the moment we met him.
Copy !req
911. Hey, you. Get in some
quality time with the boys?
Copy !req
912. Yeah, it was fun.
Copy !req
913. Listen, I hope this lunch
isn't too weird for you.
Copy !req
914. Why would "B. B.Q.
at Best Man's" be weird?
Copy !req
915. Oh, my God, Greg.
I was sure I told you.
Copy !req
916. Kevin is Bob's best man.
This is his place.
Copy !req
917. Kevin, your ex-fiancé?
Copy !req
918. Hey!
Copy !req
919. Welcome, everybody.
Copy !req
920. I don't understand.
How does he know Bob?
Copy !req
921. Well, they went to
lacrosse camp together,
Copy !req
922. and Kevin was the one
who introduced Bob to Debbie.
Copy !req
923. Lacrosse camp?
Copy !req
924. I was really lucky I was able
to salvage this wood
Copy !req
925. from an old seamen's
chapel in Nantucket.
Copy !req
926. Wow!
Copy !req
927. Kevin, the house is amazing.
This is where the light comes in.
Copy !req
928. Maybe you should have
gotten married here.
Copy !req
929. All right, the sun is out, the grill
is hot, and the pool is luke.
Copy !req
930. If I can interest you in a swim and a little B.
B.Q., just follow me.
Copy !req
931. All right, Kevo.
Right on schedule.
Copy !req
932. Wow.
Bring it on.
Copy !req
933. It must cost a fortune
to heat this place.
Copy !req
934. Wait till you see
the rest of the house.
Copy !req
935. You okay, sweetie?
Yeah.
Copy !req
936. I'm really sorry.
I don't know why I thought you knew.
Copy !req
937. It's not a big deal.
Copy !req
938. If I can handle a weekend
without sex and cigarettes,
Copy !req
939. I think I can handle an
afternoon with your ex-fiancé.
Copy !req
940. Okay. Thank you.
Copy !req
941. Now, for the floor that you're walking
on, I chose this Bolivian wormwood.
Copy !req
942. I think it works well in here.
Copy !req
943. I have the Viking range here
and the twin Sub-Z's.
Copy !req
944. Yeah, they open up
right there.
Copy !req
945. Oh, I get it. Like hidden.
Copy !req
946. Yeah, kind of blend in.
Copy !req
947. Great.
Copy !req
948. Are you a homeowner, Greg?
Copy !req
949. No, no, I rent.
Copy !req
950. So, things are going real, real
well for you, aren't they Kevo?
Copy !req
951. Gosh, things have been going
so great lately.
Copy !req
952. I got in early
on some wireless I.P.O.s,
Copy !req
953. and the stuff just
skyrocketed from there.
Copy !req
954. Wow.
Copy !req
955. What about you, Greg?
What line of work are you in?
Copy !req
956. I'm in health care.
Yeah, so you know what I'm talking about.
Copy !req
957. There are a lot of Benjamins to
be made now with biotech stuff.
Copy !req
958. I don't have to tell you that.
How's your portfolio?
Copy !req
959. I'd say strong
Copy !req
960. to quite strong.
Copy !req
961. You gotta strike
while the iron's hot.
Copy !req
962. Now's the time.
Copy !req
963. Greg's a male nurse.
Copy !req
964. That's right. Thank you, Jack.
Copy !req
965. Well, that's great. That's great
to give something back like that.
Copy !req
966. I'd love to find time
to do volunteer work.
Copy !req
967. Just the other day I saw this
golden retriever that...
Copy !req
968. He had like a gimp,
and he couldn't really...
Copy !req
969. It made me feel terrible.
I wish there was something I could do.
Copy !req
970. Yeah, well, I get paid, but also
it feels, you know, good too.
Copy !req
971. So it's kind of
an everybody wins.
Copy !req
972. What are you? You're like
a Wall Street trader?
Copy !req
973. An investment guy?
No.
Copy !req
974. I mean, I'm willing to be
painted with that brush.
Copy !req
975. Yes, that's my day job.
Copy !req
976. We have time?
We got time, don't we, Jack?
Copy !req
977. I want to show you what I'm really interested in.
Come on. Let's go.
Copy !req
978. Wow!
Copy !req
979. It looks like somebody
got an "A" in wood shop.
Copy !req
980. Yeah, it's always been kind of a hobby.
I whittled that out of beech wood.
Copy !req
981. It's beautiful.
Yeah.
Copy !req
982. So what got you into "carpentering"?
Carpentry?
Copy !req
983. I guess I'd have to say Jesus.
Copy !req
984. He was a carpenter, and I just figured if
you're gonna follow in someone's footsteps,
Copy !req
985. who better than Christ?
Copy !req
986. Greg's Jewish.
Copy !req
987. Are you?
Yeah.
Copy !req
988. Well, so was J.C.
Wow. You're in good company.
Copy !req
989. Right.
Copy !req
990. Well, I'm gonna
head to the pool,
Copy !req
991. but why don't you show
Greg and Pam the gift?
Copy !req
992. Wow, he made a gift.
Greg.
Copy !req
993. Now, I put a fresh coat of
lacquer on this this morning,
Copy !req
994. so bear with me
with the fumes.
Copy !req
995. Wow. Kev.
Copy !req
996. Isn't that something?
Copy !req
997. That's incredible.
Copy !req
998. Thank you.
Copy !req
999. Roses. Deb's favorite.
Copy !req
1000. Yes, right.
it's beautiful.
Copy !req
1001. The little holes
are for candles.
Copy !req
1002. Well, exactly.
And then later, they'll collect rainfall.
Copy !req
1003. They make a tiny birdbath.
Copy !req
1004. That's great.
Copy !req
1005. It's beautiful. What is it?
Copy !req
1006. It's an altar.
Copy !req
1007. Or you might call it
a chuppah.
Copy !req
1008. Isn't that sweet? Wow.
Copy !req
1009. I'm gonna take it over
to the Byrneses',
Copy !req
1010. and tomorrow Robert and Deborah will
meet beneath it to become man and wife.
Copy !req
1011. And later, when they
purchase a home,
Copy !req
1012. maybe it will grace
their garden.
Copy !req
1013. Well, that's my sappy,
romantic idea.
Copy !req
1014. Must have taken
forever to build.
Copy !req
1015. No, not too bad.
About 70 hours.
Copy !req
1016. Which isn't bad, considering I carved
it all by hand from one piece of wood.
Copy !req
1017. Hey, Kevo.
Copy !req
1018. 12:15. Time to start
the barbecue, big guy.
Copy !req
1019. Okay, Mr. B.
I better get back to playing host.
Copy !req
1020. Okay, you guys, grab your suits, and
I'll meet you down at the pool.
Copy !req
1021. You know, I think I'm gonna
take a pass on the swimming.
Copy !req
1022. Oh, no, you can't.
Copy !req
1023. I don't even have a suit with me.
The airline lost my bag and...
Copy !req
1024. Pamcake, let's go.
Mom's got your suit here.
Copy !req
1025. Coming, Dad.
Copy !req
1026. You better get going.
Copy !req
1027. Gosh, she's great.
Congratulations, man.
Copy !req
1028. Thank you.
Copy !req
1029. And, by the way, she just had the
nicest things to say about you.
Copy !req
1030. Really?
Copy !req
1031. Yeah.
Copy !req
1032. Gosh. Yeah, we had
some good times together.
Copy !req
1033. Boy, she is a tomcat.
Copy !req
1034. So, let me hook you up
with some trunks, Gregger.
Copy !req
1035. I'm not gonna swim.
Copy !req
1036. No, come on.
I'm not taking no for an answer.
Copy !req
1037. Cold buffet is on the left,
wine and champagne on the right.
Copy !req
1038. Coming through here.
Copy !req
1039. Yeah, that'd be gre...
Copy !req
1040. Hey, there he is!
Get out here.
Copy !req
1041. G-man, we got salmon, we got swordfish.
What's it gonna be?
Copy !req
1042. How about a little of both,
K-Dog? I'm pretty hungry.
Copy !req
1043. I think they call that
"the munchies."
Copy !req
1044. Let's go. Hit the ball,
Kev! Show them what you got!
Copy !req
1045. Come on, Greg. Damn!
Copy !req
1046. Come on, team. He's got nothing.
Come on, Greg.
Copy !req
1047. Service.
Come on, Greg.
Copy !req
1048. Nice serve, pal.
Copy !req
1049. All right.
Copy !req
1050. Set!
Copy !req
1051. Oh, Greg! Come on!
Copy !req
1052. Nice shot, Maverick!
Sweet setup, iceman.
Copy !req
1053. Nice one, Nurse.
Copy !req
1054. Glenn, Glenn, Glenn.
Copy !req
1055. You gotta rush the net on defense.
Don't be afraid of the ball.
Copy !req
1056. It's Greg.
Huddle up, team.
Copy !req
1057. Greg, not Glenn.
Greg is afraid of the ball.
Copy !req
1058. Come on. This is unacceptable.
Copy !req
1059. He's gotta go for the ball.
Copy !req
1060. Here's what we gotta do.
Copy !req
1061. Let's go!
We're getting cold in here.
Copy !req
1062. We're getting creamed.
Copy !req
1063. If Florence Nightingale
over here would play defense.
Copy !req
1064. Larry, I missed one shot.
Copy !req
1065. It was a big shot.
Copy !req
1066. Larry, keep floating where you are.
You're doing great.
Copy !req
1067. Denny, take the deep shots.
Okay.
Copy !req
1068. Greg, nobody's expecting
much out of you,
Copy !req
1069. so if I set you up with the ball,
can you jump up and spike it?
Copy !req
1070. No.
Copy !req
1071. Yeah. I'd have to be
pretty high, but yeah.
Copy !req
1072. I bet you would, Panama Red.
Copy !req
1073. All right, everybody, look sharp.
Break! Let's play some ball.
Copy !req
1074. All right, here we go.
Let's go. Come on.
Copy !req
1075. Greg! Set!
Copy !req
1076. You gotta spike those, Focker!
You gotta spike those!
Copy !req
1077. Look how Bob did that.
Nice play, Bob. Thanks, Jack.
Copy !req
1078. Fire it up there, Focker!
Let's do it!
Copy !req
1079. Way to go, Deb!
Greg!
Copy !req
1080. Honey! God!
Copy !req
1081. What the hell's the matter with you?
it's only a game, Focker!
Copy !req
1082. Oh, honey! I'm coming!
Copy !req
1083. Get some ice.
Copy !req
1084. My eye! Oh, my eye!
Copy !req
1085. Focker!
Copy !req
1086. God!
Copy !req
1087. Pam, help your sister, please.
I'm sorry, Deb.
Copy !req
1088. Deb, you can totally see Voit
backwards on your forehead.
Copy !req
1089. Denny, get outta here!
You the bandleader?
Copy !req
1090. Yes, sir. Go over the
song selection with Bob.
Copy !req
1091. Bob? Bob!
Yeah, Jack.
Copy !req
1092. Are you a Mr. Focker?
Yes.
Copy !req
1093. Okay. Sign here, please.
Copy !req
1094. Great. Thank you.
Copy !req
1095. Hey, your suitcase.
You go through it, make sure it's all there?
Copy !req
1096. Yeah, it's fine.
Good.
Copy !req
1097. What's up?
Copy !req
1098. I just wanna make sure you're okay since
hitting the spike heard around the world.
Copy !req
1099. Oh, yeah. I'm really sorry about that.
it's okay.
Copy !req
1100. I don't know what
got into me, iceman.
Copy !req
1101. "iceman"?
Copy !req
1102. I'm sorry. Is that a special
thing between you and Kevin?
Copy !req
1103. Stop it.
Stop what, iceman?
Copy !req
1104. Top Gun was a very popular
movie when Kevin and I dated.
Copy !req
1105. All right? That's it.
Copy !req
1106. Hey, iceman.
I have no problem with that.
Copy !req
1107. Do you want to be Maverick?
Is that what this is all about?
Copy !req
1108. I can't be Maverick.
Kevin's Maverick.
Copy !req
1109. He used to be,
but we can change that.
Copy !req
1110. Can he be Goose?
Copy !req
1111. No, because Goose
dies in the end.
Copy !req
1112. Very sad.
Copy !req
1113. Honey, I don't really...
Greg, shut up.
Copy !req
1114. Okay.
Copy !req
1115. Jesus, Dad,
you ever think of knocking?
Copy !req
1116. Not in my own den.
Copy !req
1117. What are you two
doing in here?
Copy !req
1118. I'd say rounding second base.
Copy !req
1119. This is Greg's room, Dad.
Copy !req
1120. Not anymore.
We're gonna use it for storage.
Copy !req
1121. Greg will stay in Debbie's room, and
she'll bunk up with you tonight.
Copy !req
1122. Fine. Come on, Greg.
Copy !req
1123. Okay. I'll be right up.
I'll meet you upstairs.
Copy !req
1124. Oh, good.
They found your suitcase.
Copy !req
1125. Yeah.
Copy !req
1126. Hey, Jack, I don't quite know what
happened back at the tux shop,
Copy !req
1127. but if I've given you the wrong impression
regarding Pam in any way, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1128. Okay? I have nothing but the best
intentions with Pam, and I just...
Copy !req
1129. Actually, there's something in the suitcase
here that I'm planning on giving her
Copy !req
1130. that I think symbolizes
Copy !req
1131. the level of
my commitment to her.
Copy !req
1132. And I wouldn't feel right asking her to
wear it without her father's permission.
Copy !req
1133. Jack?
Copy !req
1134. Did you flush this toilet?
Copy !req
1135. Maybe. You know what?
Maybe Jinx flushed it.
Copy !req
1136. I saw little Jinxy
come in last night,
Copy !req
1137. and he took a little squat
and relieved himself.
Copy !req
1138. Jinx knows not to use that toilet, and
even if he did, he'd never flush it.
Copy !req
1139. What does it matter?
The matter, Greg, R. N .,
Copy !req
1140. is that when this toilet
is flushed, it runs,
Copy !req
1141. and when you have a septic
tank that's nearly full
Copy !req
1142. and a toilet that's been
running all night,
Copy !req
1143. then you could have
a hell of a problem.
Copy !req
1144. Mr. Byrnes?
Copy !req
1145. This is not part of
my job description.
Copy !req
1146. Nice stench.
You're really on a roll there, bud.
Copy !req
1147. Bite me, Denny!
Copy !req
1148. In 20 hours, I'm having a wedding here,
so I need my cesspool pumped now!
Copy !req
1149. Not tomorrow. Now!
Copy !req
1150. Dad, what's going on?
Copy !req
1151. Oh, my God!
What's that smell?
Copy !req
1152. That smell, Bob, is our shit.
Copy !req
1153. Focker flushed the toilet in the den,
so the septic tank is overflowing.
Copy !req
1154. Jack, I told you.
it wasn't me. It was Jinx.
Copy !req
1155. Focker, I'm not
gonna tell you again!
Copy !req
1156. Jinx cannot flush the toilet.
He's a cat, for chrissakes!
Copy !req
1157. The animal doesn't even
have thumbs, Focker.
Copy !req
1158. Hey, look at this!
Kevo!
Copy !req
1159. Over by the tree, right?
Copy !req
1160. No. No, no, no.
Not on the lawn!
Copy !req
1161. Stay where you are.
Not on the lawn!
Copy !req
1162. Kevin, no!
No, no, no, no!
Copy !req
1163. No, no, no!
Copy !req
1164. What the heck?
Copy !req
1165. I got my mojo workin'
Copy !req
1166. Just won't work on you
Copy !req
1167. I got my mojo workin'
Copy !req
1168. Just won't work on you
Copy !req
1169. I know that's what I said I wanted,
'cause that's what I wanted.
Copy !req
1170. It is a black
Samsonite suitcase.
Copy !req
1171. What I'm saying is, do you think it's
possible that the Samsonite people,
Copy !req
1172. in some crazy little scheme to actually
turn a profit, made more than one?
Copy !req
1173. I don't think so.
You don't?
Copy !req
1174. I am going to need your
baggage claim number again.
Copy !req
1175. Jinx, stop.
Copy !req
1176. I know I signed for it.
Copy !req
1177. I'm looking at your signature
right here, Mr. Focker.
Copy !req
1178. Do me a favor. Could I talk
to your supervisor?
Copy !req
1179. Excuse me?
Copy !req
1180. What's your name?
Joy.
Copy !req
1181. Okay, let me
talk to your supervisor.
Copy !req
1182. My supervisor is on a break.
Copy !req
1183. When he gets back, have him
give me a call right away.
Copy !req
1184. It's a very important bag.
I'm sure it is, sir.
Copy !req
1185. Jinx.
Copy !req
1186. Don't ask me what it's for.
I need you to do this thing.
Copy !req
1187. Please, I'm in a time situation
here, so just do it. I'll hold on.
Copy !req
1188. So the name's "Greg Focker"?
Copy !req
1189. I don't know. Greg or Gregory.
Run both names.
Copy !req
1190. Jinx.
Copy !req
1191. Come on. No. Jinx.
Come here. Jinxy.
Copy !req
1192. Mew, mew, mew. No. No.
Copy !req
1193. Jinx. Oh, shit.
Copy !req
1194. Greg didn't ace his med school boards.
He never even took the goddamn MCATs.
Copy !req
1195. Oh, Jack, that's what you had
your sources check out?
Copy !req
1196. What this poor boy
did on some test scores?
Copy !req
1197. I bet he doesn't even have
a real nursing degree.
Copy !req
1198. A lot of these
hospital workers
Copy !req
1199. are just pill poppers looking
for easy access to ludes.
Copy !req
1200. We already know that he's been
puffing the magic dragon.
Copy !req
1201. I knew the little crack
was lying.
Copy !req
1202. Jinxy. Come here.
Come here, little Jinxy.
Copy !req
1203. Jinxy cat,
Jinxy cat I won't hurt you
Copy !req
1204. The fact is, Greg lied to you.
Copy !req
1205. He did not lie to me, Dad.
Copy !req
1206. He lied to you and I thought
you should know the truth.
Copy !req
1207. I love you too much
to see you get hurt.
Copy !req
1208. I don't care what your information says, Dad.
Greg took the MCATs. Okay?
Copy !req
1209. Holy...
Copy !req
1210. Shit!
Copy !req
1211. No, no, no. No, no, no.
Copy !req
1212. No!
Copy !req
1213. Ho...
Copy !req
1214. Holy...
Copy !req
1215. No! Oh! Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1216. All right, everybody.
All right, stand back.
Copy !req
1217. Stay back. Stay back.
Copy !req
1218. Watch out. Watch out!
Copy !req
1219. Oh, Jack! Oh, God!
Copy !req
1220. We've got a fire!
Somebody call 911 right away! Hurry up!
Copy !req
1221. Jinxy! Jinxy!
Copy !req
1222. We checked every yard, every car on the street.
Nobody's seen him.
Copy !req
1223. He's not up in
any of the trees, Jack.
Copy !req
1224. We checked all the bedrooms.
Jinx isn't up here.
Copy !req
1225. Yeah, none of the neighbors
have seen him either.
Copy !req
1226. You tried to milk him, didn't
you, you sick son of a bitch!
Copy !req
1227. Dad, stop it. That's enough.
Copy !req
1228. Honey, please calm down.
Copy !req
1229. How can I calm down if we're 15 minutes
away from the wedding rehearsal
Copy !req
1230. and the ring bearer's missing?
Copy !req
1231. What do you mean,
"the ring bearer"?
Copy !req
1232. Your daddy didn't tell you?
Copy !req
1233. He taught Jinx to walk down the
aisle with this little pillow.
Copy !req
1234. Oh, no. No, you didn't, Dad.
Copy !req
1235. Yeah, yeah. You put this around the neck,
and these ribbons are for the rings.
Copy !req
1236. That's adorable, Jack.
Copy !req
1237. Oh, for chrissakes!
That's great, Dad.
Copy !req
1238. Yeah, but now we have to
postpone the rehearsal.
Copy !req
1239. Bob, you ride with me.
Larry, you come with your car.
Copy !req
1240. We're gonna canvass the neighborhood.
Dee, ask O'Boyle to wait.
Copy !req
1241. If we're not back in an hour, we'll
reschedule the rehearsal for the morning.
Copy !req
1242. Jack! No!
We cannot cancel the rehearsal
Copy !req
1243. for some stupid cat!
Copy !req
1244. Stupid cat? How could you say that?
That cat's been like a brother to you!
Copy !req
1245. We're supposed to let him wander the
streets without food, water or toilet?
Copy !req
1246. Dad, Greg'll find him.
What?
Copy !req
1247. Yeah, what?
Copy !req
1248. Oh, that's wonderful.
Copy !req
1249. Fine. Fine. Okay. Denny?
Copy !req
1250. Denny? Denny? Denny!
Dad, I'm right here.
Copy !req
1251. Okay. You're gonna fill in
as the ring bearer for now.
Copy !req
1252. No. I'm not wearin' that stupid
pillow thing on my head.
Copy !req
1253. Oh, yes, you damn well will!
Copy !req
1254. Jinx! Jinx! Here, Jinx.
Copy !req
1255. You just go and wander the streets
without food, water or toilet? Fucker!
Copy !req
1256. Actually, you may be in luck.
Copy !req
1257. They brought in a Himalayan
a little while ago.
Copy !req
1258. There he is.
Copy !req
1259. Holy shit, that's Jinx.
Copy !req
1260. Jinxy!
No, let me see that photo again.
Copy !req
1261. You gotta picture him
without that stupid Santa cap.
Copy !req
1262. Come on, Jinxy. Jinxy!
Copy !req
1263. No.
Copy !req
1264. You see, in the picture, your
cat has an all-black tail.
Copy !req
1265. Yeah.
Copy !req
1266. And this one has a white tip.
Copy !req
1267. No, I'm sorry about that,
chief.
Copy !req
1268. Looks just like him.
Almost.
Copy !req
1269. Except for that tail.
Copy !req
1270. Dearly beloved...
Copy !req
1271. Dearly beloved,
Copy !req
1272. we are gathered here
on this beautiful day
Copy !req
1273. to join Dr. Robert Banks...
Copy !req
1274. Dearly beloved, we are gathered
here on this beautiful day
Copy !req
1275. to join Dr. Robert Banks and
Deborah Byrnes in holy matrimony.
Copy !req
1276. This is a special day...
Copy !req
1277. He found him!
Copy !req
1278. It's him! It's him!
Copy !req
1279. I gotta see this.
Copy !req
1280. Look, Dad, it's Jinx.
My little baby!
Copy !req
1281. We found you. We found you.
Copy !req
1282. Greg, thank you so much.
This is so great.
Copy !req
1283. Where did you
find him?
Copy !req
1284. Gave us a little scare, huh?
Copy !req
1285. Jinxy.
Copy !req
1286. For once in my life
I got someone who needs me
Copy !req
1287. To Greg.
Hooray!
Copy !req
1288. Honey, where is Greg,
anyway?
Copy !req
1289. He's in the restroom.
Copy !req
1290. Yes, I tried there. I've tried every
shelter on the north shore, okay?
Copy !req
1291. He's a brown-and-black Himalayan
with an all-black tail.
Copy !req
1292. Mr. Jinx. Yeah, okay. You go check.
I'll call you back.
Copy !req
1293. It's the man of the hour.
Hey!
Copy !req
1294. Sorry, folks. Had to pay a little
visit to the urinal fairy.
Copy !req
1295. Greg, nice work
with the cat today.
Copy !req
1296. Thanks, Jack.
I'm just glad I could help out.
Copy !req
1297. We never did get to finish that
little "convo" back at the den.
Copy !req
1298. So, when you have a minute, there is still
something I'd like to talk to you about.
Copy !req
1299. We'll get right to it as soon as we get back.
You have my word.
Copy !req
1300. I'm gonna hold you to that.
Circle of trust.
Copy !req
1301. Guess who's back
in the circle of trust.
Copy !req
1302. Pull the string
and I'll wink at you
Copy !req
1303. I'm your puppet
Copy !req
1304. Look at Jack!
Copy !req
1305. Oh, poor Kevin looks lonely.
Copy !req
1306. Maybe I should ask him
to dance. What do you think?
Copy !req
1307. Sure. I bet he could whittle a private
little dance floor for the two of you.
Copy !req
1308. I'm serious.
Copy !req
1309. I saw some beech wood outside.
He's very handy.
Copy !req
1310. He's an extremely handy
and crafty craftsman.
Copy !req
1311. I shouldn't paint him
with that brush, but...
Copy !req
1312. Come on. Seriously. Seriously.
Part of you wishes you ended up with him.
Copy !req
1313. Yes, he's very talented,
Copy !req
1314. but it would've
never worked out.
Copy !req
1315. Why not?
Copy !req
1316. I was never in love
with Kevin.
Copy !req
1317. I'm in love with you.
Copy !req
1318. That's a good explanation.
Copy !req
1319. Think so?
Copy !req
1320. Thought you'd like that.
Copy !req
1321. I do.
Copy !req
1322. I'm glad.
Copy !req
1323. No, Jinx. Mr. Jinx.
I called you like half an hour ago.
Copy !req
1324. Okay, I already...
Copy !req
1325. I already described it...
Airline.
Copy !req
1326. Messages.
Copy !req
1327. It's brown...
Copy !req
1328. With a little bit
of black trim.
Copy !req
1329. Yes.
Copy !req
1330. Please enter your
four-digit code.
Copy !req
1331. Jack, hi. It's Hank MacAtee
from next door.
Copy !req
1332. You'll never guess who wandered over
here this afternoon. Mr. Jinx.
Copy !req
1333. Yeah, he's not wearing his collar,
but I'm sure it's Jinxy.
Copy !req
1334. Thought you might be worried, so just
give me a jingle when you guys get home,
Copy !req
1335. and I'll bring
the little rascal over.
Copy !req
1336. Okay, well, if you could just
keep checking, please,
Copy !req
1337. and I'll call you back later.
Thanks.
Copy !req
1338. Any luck?
No, they're still looking.
Copy !req
1339. Hey, Jack,
this is a great party.
Copy !req
1340. I guess sometimes these things
sort of come together
Copy !req
1341. in their own kooky
sort of way.
Copy !req
1342. Yeah, it's kind of like
the way you found Jinxy.
Copy !req
1343. You found him
at that animal shelter?
Copy !req
1344. Yeah, right.
Copy !req
1345. Well, the important thing is
he's home now.
Copy !req
1346. Yes.
Copy !req
1347. Yeah. You know, there's something
about that ball of fur
Copy !req
1348. that just puts
a big smile on my face.
Copy !req
1349. Yeah.
Copy !req
1350. You haven't seen any of his
latest tricks, have you?
Copy !req
1351. No.
Copy !req
1352. Well, when we get back,
I'll show you.
Copy !req
1353. We don't have to do it tonight.
He's had a long day. He's probably tired.
Copy !req
1354. I wouldn't want to...
No, I think he'd like to show you tonight.
Copy !req
1355. Why don't you give me the key
and let me drive?
Copy !req
1356. Hey, Larry. You know what?
Why don't I drive?
Copy !req
1357. Oh. It's a very expensive car.
Good idea.
Copy !req
1358. I've always wanted to
test-drive a Benz.
Copy !req
1359. Be my guest, Focker.
Copy !req
1360. Hey, sweetie,
what are you doing?
Copy !req
1361. Larry said I could drive.
Copy !req
1362. Let's go. Hurry, hurry.
Copy !req
1363. All right. Bye, guys. See you.
Copy !req
1364. Thanks for driving.
Copy !req
1365. Drives a little better
than your Taurus, huh, Greg?
Copy !req
1366. Yeah.
Copy !req
1367. Come on. Get in the car,
honey. Let's go. Hurry up.
Copy !req
1368. Okay, okay.
Copy !req
1369. Whoa, Nellie!
Copy !req
1370. Everybody comfortable
back there?
Copy !req
1371. You're a real wild man
at that wheel there.
Copy !req
1372. You got your seat belts on back there?
Get your seat belts on.
Copy !req
1373. Oh, Jesus, Focker!
Copy !req
1374. You're driving like a maniac!
Focker, take it easy!
Copy !req
1375. Benz drives like a dream, Lar.
Copy !req
1376. Let's not make it
a nightmare, huh?
Copy !req
1377. Oh, there's Jack.
Copy !req
1378. Hey, Jackie.
Copy !req
1379. Wanna play, Pops? Let's play.
Copy !req
1380. Okay, now, Greg? Greg?
Copy !req
1381. Greg, no!
Copy !req
1382. Is everything okay, honey?
Copy !req
1383. Yeah, just trying
to make good time.
Copy !req
1384. What the heck
is the matter with you?
Copy !req
1385. All right. We're gonna
be home. We're gonna get home.
Copy !req
1386. It's not the autobahn.
Come on, Greg!
Copy !req
1387. Jesus!
Copy !req
1388. Maybe you should drive
after all, honey.
Copy !req
1389. We're okay.
Copy !req
1390. All right.
Copy !req
1391. Oh, no. No, please.
Copy !req
1392. Yes!
Jack just turned.
Copy !req
1393. You were supposed to
make that left at the light,
Copy !req
1394. Focker.
Copy !req
1395. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Copy !req
1396. Where does he think
he's going?
Copy !req
1397. Home, home, home.
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Copy !req
1398. Who gave him the keys?
Copy !req
1399. Okay, we're out.
Copy !req
1400. Yeah, we've had
enough excitement.
Copy !req
1401. I wonder if he
has a license.
Copy !req
1402. Yeah, a license to kill.
Copy !req
1403. Come on, everybody.
Copy !req
1404. Hey, nice driving, Mario!
Copy !req
1405. You're a lunatic!
Copy !req
1406. Come on, Linda!
Copy !req
1407. Hey, hey!
Copy !req
1408. What in the world...
Oh, my...
Copy !req
1409. Oh, the dress!
Copy !req
1410. It was the cat! Goddamn you!
Copy !req
1411. Dad, Dad!
Jinx, I'm gonna...
Copy !req
1412. Calm down!
Copy !req
1413. Where's the cat?
Copy !req
1414. Cat got out!
Cat got out, Jack!
Copy !req
1415. You spray-painted his tail to make him
look like Jinxy didn't you, Focker?
Copy !req
1416. Greg, what's he
talking about?
Copy !req
1417. Hank MacAtee called me a couple of
hours ago and told me he found Jinxy.
Copy !req
1418. He took his collar
and put it on an impostor.
Copy !req
1419. Then he spray-painted his tail, and
then he tried to beat us back here
Copy !req
1420. so that he could get rid
of the evidence.
Copy !req
1421. Oh, no.
Copy !req
1422. Please tell me
that's not true, Greg.
Copy !req
1423. It was just a temporary solution
until I could find the real Jinx.
Copy !req
1424. How could you do
something like that?
Copy !req
1425. I'm sorry.
What are you going to tell me next?
Copy !req
1426. That you set Kevin's
altar on fire?
Copy !req
1427. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1428. Well, it wasn't intentional.
I was chasing Jinx up onto the roof.
Copy !req
1429. I had a smoke, and I think I might
have lit something that...
Copy !req
1430. I don't know what happened.
Copy !req
1431. He put so much goddamn lacquer
on that thing.
Copy !req
1432. It was an accident
waiting to happen.
Copy !req
1433. This is very
disappointing, Greg.
Copy !req
1434. Get out of my house, Focker,
and take your friend with you.
Copy !req
1435. So you lied to me
about everything, huh, Greg?
Copy !req
1436. You lied about the cat, about
the fire, about the MCATs.
Copy !req
1437. I didn't lie about the MCATs.
Don't you see what's happening here?
Copy !req
1438. Your dad has
totally turned you against me.
Copy !req
1439. I didn't turn her against you.
Copy !req
1440. You did that to yourself.
Copy !req
1441. Jack, please. You didn't like me
from the second I walked in here.
Copy !req
1442. I'm a very accepting person,
Focker.
Copy !req
1443. All I ask for is honesty.
Copy !req
1444. Oh, honesty?
Copy !req
1445. You wanna talk
about truth and honesty, Jack?
Copy !req
1446. Okay, let's talk a little truth and honesty.
Let's talk a little "Operation Ko Samui,"
Copy !req
1447. Jack.
What's he talking about, Dad?
Copy !req
1448. Yeah, that's weird,
Copy !req
1449. because I thought there weren't any
secrets inside the circle of trust, Jack.
Copy !req
1450. I don't know what
you're talking about.
Copy !req
1451. You don't?
Copy !req
1452. What's the matter?
Cat got your tongue?
Copy !req
1453. Hey, Pam, guess what.
Copy !req
1454. Daddy's planning a little covert operation
in Thailand for the day after the wedding.
Copy !req
1455. You are?
Copy !req
1456. Round and round we go, Jack.
Copy !req
1457. Hey, I bet everybody would love
to hear about your rendezvous
Copy !req
1458. in the parking lot of the
Oyster Bay Drug and Sundry.
Copy !req
1459. You know what
I'm talking about.
Copy !req
1460. Where the guy gave you the
passports and the documents.
Copy !req
1461. Or how about your
little phone call in Thai?
Copy !req
1462. Jack can't talk Thai.
Copy !req
1463. Oh, no, Dina. Jack can talk Thai.
Jack talk Thai very well.
Copy !req
1464. I'm sorry, Pam,
but your dad is not retired.
Copy !req
1465. He's still very much
in the C.I.A.
Copy !req
1466. Daddy. What...
He's right.
Copy !req
1467. He's right. My cover's blown.
Copy !req
1468. I am planning a secret operation
the day after the wedding.
Copy !req
1469. What?
Copy !req
1470. A surprise honeymoon
for Deb and Bob.
Copy !req
1471. You stupid son of a bitch!
You just blew it!
Copy !req
1472. What?
Copy !req
1473. Ko Samui is an island
off the coast of Thailand!
Copy !req
1474. That guy I was meeting in the parking
lot is Thor Svenson, my travel agent.
Copy !req
1475. He was giving me their visas.
Copy !req
1476. Wow, Thailand. Thanks a lot, J.B.
That's something.
Copy !req
1477. Don't mention it. I just...
Copy !req
1478. You know, if this nursing thing
doesn't work out, Focker,
Copy !req
1479. I'd say you definitely
have a career in espionage.
Copy !req
1480. Thanks, Greg.
Copy !req
1481. Well, I guess I'm gonna go
to the airport now.
Copy !req
1482. I guess you're
gonna stay here.
Copy !req
1483. Pam, I...
Copy !req
1484. Gaylord M. Focker?
Copy !req
1485. Gaylord? Gaylord?
Copy !req
1486. Yeah, that's me.
Copy !req
1487. I thought your name was Greg.
it is.
Copy !req
1488. That's not what it says on the form.
I know.
Copy !req
1489. It's my legal name. Nobody's called
me by it since I was in third grade.
Copy !req
1490. Whatever.
Copy !req
1491. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
So your name's Gay Focker?
Copy !req
1492. Denny.
Copy !req
1493. I'm sorry. It's just it's not
a normal name.
Copy !req
1494. Come on.
Copy !req
1495. Now look what you've done.
Oh, Pammy.
Copy !req
1496. Don't go away.
Copy !req
1497. You're in luck. There is room.
Copy !req
1498. And without a Saturday stay-over, that
fare difference will be $1,137.11.
Copy !req
1499. Did you want me to
book you the seat?
Copy !req
1500. Okay. All right.
Copy !req
1501. Did you want to
check any bags today?
Copy !req
1502. We should be all right with only
one usher, don't you think?
Copy !req
1503. I'm not so sure, Jack.
Copy !req
1504. Thought you might
like to see this.
Copy !req
1505. How did you get this?
Copy !req
1506. Oh, I have my sources too.
Copy !req
1507. I called Gaylord, a.k.a.
Greg's parents in Detroit.
Copy !req
1508. They saved his SAT scores too,
in case you're interested.
Copy !req
1509. Oh, honey. That doesn't matter
if he did well on some test.
Copy !req
1510. What does that prove?
Look at this place!
Copy !req
1511. He almost destroyed the
wedding because he lied!
Copy !req
1512. I love you, Daddy,
Copy !req
1513. but you can be
a real jerk sometimes.
Copy !req
1514. So what if he took the MCATs?
He's still not good enough for Pam.
Copy !req
1515. Who is, Jack?
Copy !req
1516. Nobody has ever been
good enough for your Pam.
Copy !req
1517. I mean, do you realize that you
never even warmed up to Kevin
Copy !req
1518. until she broke up with him?
Copy !req
1519. Maybe it's time you think
about what Pam wants.
Copy !req
1520. Greg, it's me.
Copy !req
1521. I'm sure you're
in the air by now,
Copy !req
1522. so I guess you'll just
get this when you get home.
Copy !req
1523. Listen, I am so sorry.
Copy !req
1524. I acted like a complete idiot,
Copy !req
1525. and I hope that
you can forgive me.
Copy !req
1526. I mean, I don't care about
the fire or the cat or...
Copy !req
1527. I mean, I can't believe you
actually spray-painted a cat.
Copy !req
1528. That's actually really gross,
but the point is that...
Copy !req
1529. That I understand
why you did it,
Copy !req
1530. and I love you.
Copy !req
1531. I want you to know
that I really love you, and...
Copy !req
1532. When you get this,
will you please call me?
Copy !req
1533. Okay. Bye.
Copy !req
1534. Marty, listen, I need a
commercial flight I.D. scan.
Copy !req
1535. Interstate from New York
La Guardia to Chicago.
Copy !req
1536. Four-hour sweeps,
backwards and forwards.
Copy !req
1537. Last name: Foxtrot, Oscar,
Charlie, Kilo, Echo, Romeo.
Copy !req
1538. First name: Golf, Alpha,
Yankee, Lima...
Copy !req
1539. Gaylord Focker on Atlantic
American flight 27, departs 2:35.
Copy !req
1540. 2:35?
Affirmative.
Copy !req
1541. Twenty-three minutes. Thanks.
Copy !req
1542. Enjoy your flight.
Thanks.
Copy !req
1543. Hello.
Copy !req
1544. I'm sorry. We're only boarding rows nine
and above right now. You'll have to wait.
Copy !req
1545. Well, I'm in row eight.
Copy !req
1546. Please step aside, sir.
Copy !req
1547. It's just one row.
Don't you think it's okay if I...
Copy !req
1548. We'll call
your row momentarily.
Copy !req
1549. Step aside, sir.
Copy !req
1550. Thank you for waiting. We'd like to
continue boarding the aircraft now.
Copy !req
1551. We're now boarding all rows,
please. All remaining rows.
Copy !req
1552. Hello.
Copy !req
1553. Enjoy your flight.
Copy !req
1554. Excuse me.
Copy !req
1555. Okay, where's the fire?
Copy !req
1556. Will you hand me
that pillow over there?
Copy !req
1557. I'm sorry, sir. You're gonna
have to check that.
Copy !req
1558. I got it.
Copy !req
1559. No, I'm sorry.
That bag won't fit.
Copy !req
1560. No, I'm not... Hey.
Copy !req
1561. I'm not checking my bag, okay?
Copy !req
1562. There's no need
to raise your voice, sir.
Copy !req
1563. I'm not raising my voice.
This would be raising my voice to you, okay?
Copy !req
1564. I don't want to check my bag.
Copy !req
1565. By the way, your airline,
you suck at checking bags.
Copy !req
1566. Because I already did that
once, and you lost it,
Copy !req
1567. and then I had everything screwed
up very badly for me. Okay?
Copy !req
1568. I can assure you that your bag
will be placed safely
Copy !req
1569. below deck
with the other luggage.
Copy !req
1570. Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag will
be safe below with the other luggage?
Copy !req
1571. Are you physically gonna
take my bag beneath the plane?
Copy !req
1572. Are you gonna go with the guys with
the earmuffs and put it in there?
Copy !req
1573. No. No? Okay.
Then shut your pie hole
Copy !req
1574. and listen to me
when I say that I am finished
Copy !req
1575. with the checking-of-the-bags
conversation!
Copy !req
1576. Sir, we have a policy on this airline
that if a bag is this large, we...
Copy !req
1577. Get your grubby little paws
off of my bag, okay?
Copy !req
1578. It's not like I have a bomb in here.
it's not like I want to blow up the plane.
Copy !req
1579. I wanna stow my bag according
to your safety regulations.
Copy !req
1580. Sir, sir...
if you would take a second
Copy !req
1581. and take the little sticks out of
your head and clean out your ears,
Copy !req
1582. maybe you would see that I'm
a person who has feelings,
Copy !req
1583. and all I have to do
is do what I wanna do!
Copy !req
1584. All I wanna do is hold onto
my bag and not listen to you!
Copy !req
1585. The only way that I would ever let go of
my bag would be if you came over here now
Copy !req
1586. and tried to pry it from
my dead, lifeless fingers.
Copy !req
1587. Okay? if you can get it from my
kung fu grip, then you can have it.
Copy !req
1588. Okay? Otherwise,
step off, bitch.
Copy !req
1589. Get off of me!
Get off of me!
Copy !req
1590. You got him?
Copy !req
1591. Yeah.
Copy !req
1592. Hey. Hey! You can't leave
your vehicle unattended.
Copy !req
1593. Tow it.
Copy !req
1594. I've got a plane full of people saying
you threatened that stewardess.
Copy !req
1595. I was not threatening her.
Copy !req
1596. I was trying to get my bag into
the overhead storage thing.
Copy !req
1597. You were acting like a maniac, and
you threatened her with a bomb!
Copy !req
1598. I said I didn't have a bomb!
You said "bomb."
Copy !req
1599. I said, "it's not like
I have a bomb."
Copy !req
1600. You said "bomb"
on an airplane.
Copy !req
1601. What's wrong with saying
"bomb" on an airplane?
Copy !req
1602. You can't say "bomb"
on an airplane.
Copy !req
1603. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb,
bomb, bomb, bomb! You gonna arrest me?
Copy !req
1604. You assaulted
an airline employee...
Copy !req
1605. What if I was a bombardier?
Copy !req
1606. I got enough to put you away
for a few years!
Copy !req
1607. Bomb, bomb, bomb!
Copy !req
1608. Norm. Take five.
We got a specialist here.
Copy !req
1609. Bye, Norm.
Copy !req
1610. Oh, shit. How'd you get here?
Copy !req
1611. I'm everywhere, Focker.
Copy !req
1612. I didn't do anything, Jack.
Copy !req
1613. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
1614. Well, then tell these guys
that I'm not a terrorist.
Copy !req
1615. Listen, Focker. I'm not gonna tell anybody
anything until you answer some questions.
Copy !req
1616. Unless you want to spend the next
couple of years of your life in prison,
Copy !req
1617. you better goddamn
well tell me the truth.
Copy !req
1618. No more lies. You understand?
No more lies.
Copy !req
1619. Did you do this?
Just answer the questions.
Copy !req
1620. Did you have me
taken off of that airplane?
Copy !req
1621. Just answer the question.
Copy !req
1622. Put your hands
over there. That's it.
Copy !req
1623. You're sick, you know that?
Copy !req
1624. Is your name
Gaylord Focker? Yes or no?
Copy !req
1625. Yes.
Copy !req
1626. Are you a male nurse?
Yes.
Copy !req
1627. Are you a pothead?
No.
Copy !req
1628. Have you ever smoked pot?
Yes.
Copy !req
1629. Did you spray-paint the tail of a
cat to pass him off as Mr. Jinx?
Copy !req
1630. Yes.
Copy !req
1631. Did you do that because you
desperately were seeking my approval?
Copy !req
1632. Yes.
Copy !req
1633. Because you
love my daughter Pam?
Copy !req
1634. Yes.
Copy !req
1635. Do you wanna marry her?
Copy !req
1636. Do you want to marry her?
Copy !req
1637. I did, until I met you.
Copy !req
1638. What does that mean?
Copy !req
1639. I love your daughter, Jack.
I love her more than anything.
Copy !req
1640. But frankly, sir, I'm a little
terrified of being your son-in-law.
Copy !req
1641. This whole weekend
has given me a lot of doubts
Copy !req
1642. about whether or not I could
even survive in your family.
Copy !req
1643. I think you've got
some serious issues.
Copy !req
1644. If I lighten up, would you
consider marrying my daughter?
Copy !req
1645. Would you lighten up a lot?
Copy !req
1646. Yeah.
Yes or no?
Copy !req
1647. Yes.
Copy !req
1648. Would you let me and Pam live our
lives and not interfere all the time?
Copy !req
1649. I promise not to interfere
in your lives all the time.
Copy !req
1650. Will you stop making fun of me
for being a nurse?
Copy !req
1651. Could you at least try, maybe,
to consider another profession?
Copy !req
1652. Jack, yes or no?
Copy !req
1653. Ever?
No!
Copy !req
1654. Okay, yes.
Copy !req
1655. Would you let me and Pam sleep
in the same room?
Copy !req
1656. Don't push it, Focker.
You're in a real mess.
Copy !req
1657. If you married my daughter,
would you support her
Copy !req
1658. in the way that she
deserves to be supported?
Copy !req
1659. Yes.
Copy !req
1660. Would you be honest
and faithful to her?
Copy !req
1661. Yes.
Copy !req
1662. Will you devote yourself entirely
to her for the rest of your life?
Copy !req
1663. Of course.
Copy !req
1664. Gaylord Focker,
Copy !req
1665. will you be my son-in-law?
Copy !req
1666. Greg?
Copy !req
1667. I thought you were
going back to Chicago?
Copy !req
1668. Yeah, well, we had
a little plane trouble.
Copy !req
1669. Plus, your dad caught up
with me at the airport.
Copy !req
1670. No. Don't worry.
Copy !req
1671. It's okay. We worked out
a lot of our issues.
Copy !req
1672. You and my dad worked out
a lot of your issues?
Copy !req
1673. Yeah. First he gave me his little human
lie detector thing, but I passed.
Copy !req
1674. Good.
Copy !req
1675. Yeah, and...
Copy !req
1676. Then he proposed.
Copy !req
1677. Are you feeling all right?
Copy !req
1678. Listen. This weekend
was a nightmare.
Copy !req
1679. I had this whole
elaborate plan,
Copy !req
1680. and then somewhere between
giving your sister a black eye
Copy !req
1681. and setting the house on fire,
it kind of went off track.
Copy !req
1682. I just... I love you.
I love you so much.
Copy !req
1683. I think he's
about to do it, Jack.
Copy !req
1684. Come on, honey.
Give them some privacy.
Copy !req
1685. and I think if
we can get through
Copy !req
1686. what we got through in the last 48
hours, we could get through anything.
Copy !req
1687. I think so too.
Copy !req
1688. And, Greg, I don't...
Wait. Hang on a second.
Copy !req
1689. Mr. Jinx? Mew, mew, mew, mew.
Copy !req
1690. Mew, mew, mew, mew.
Copy !req
1691. That's a ring.
Copy !req
1692. I like to think of it
as a little circle of trust.
Copy !req
1693. Pam?
Copy !req
1694. Will you marry me?
Yes.
Copy !req
1695. Yes.
Copy !req
1696. Attaboy, Greg!
Copy !req
1697. That "circle of trust" thing?
That's mine.
Copy !req
1698. Well, looks like we got
another wedding to plan.
Copy !req
1699. Yep. Just gotta do one more thing.
What's that?
Copy !req
1700. Meet his parents.
Copy !req
1701. Jack...
Honey, relax.
Copy !req
1702. I'm sure they're wonderful,
fascinating people.
Copy !req
1703. Good night, Jack.
Copy !req
1704. I mean, they'd have to be, right,
to name their son Gaylord Focker?
Copy !req
1705. Do you, Deborah Byrnes, take Robert Banks
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Copy !req
1706. Yes. I mean, I do.
Copy !req
1707. I now pronounce you
man and wife.
Copy !req
1708. Let's just see if you really
can flush the toilet, Jinxy.
Copy !req
1709. I knew it.
Oh! Shit!
Copy !req
1710. I knew it.
Copy !req
1711. Damn it!
Copy !req
1712. That's my future son-in-law.
What do you think?
Copy !req
1713. Hello, Jack.
Copy !req
1714. Oh, look at that.
Nice Jack. Hi.
Copy !req
1715. What's that, Jack? What?
Copy !req
1716. You're a big, bad C.I.A. man,
huh?
Copy !req
1717. Did they teach you that in the C.
I.A.? They teach you that?
Copy !req
1718. Oh, yeah. What's that,
Jack? What?
Copy !req
1719. Yeah, you thought Puff was just the
name of the boy's magical dragon?
Copy !req
1720. Not too quick on
the uptake, huh, Jack?
Copy !req
1721. Why don't you ask Denny who's puffing the magic dragon?
Not onto that one, huh?
Copy !req
1722. Surprising for a big
C.I.A. pulse detector.
Copy !req
1723. Hey, hey, check my pulse
on this question, Jack.
Copy !req
1724. Do I think
you're a psycho? Yes.
Copy !req
1725. What? Oh, you like
my little gift?
Copy !req
1726. What? The Jerusalem what?
Copy !req
1727. What? I can't hear you. Jerusalem
toodle-oo-poosey, poosley-loo?
Copy !req
1728. What? What? Oh, you don't
know shit about flowers.
Copy !req
1729. What's that?
You want me to what?
Copy !req
1730. You have another question? Sure.
I got one question for you.
Copy !req
1731. It's can you deal with that?
Copy !req
1732. When you're a fool in love
Copy !req
1733. Seems like the skies
are always gray
Copy !req
1734. You turn around
There's someone in your way
Copy !req
1735. And it's you
And you're in love
Copy !req
1736. Never another spring
for you
Copy !req
1737. Never a robin
to sing for you
Copy !req
1738. You're out there
on your own
Copy !req
1739. When you're
a fool in love
Copy !req
1740. Never another spring for you
Copy !req
1741. You're out there
on your own
Copy !req
1742. When you're a fool in love
Copy !req