1. Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention please.Copy !req
2. Welcome to the newest,
the greatest...Copy !req
3. the most spectacular
show in entertainment history.Copy !req
4. Put your hands together for
the fabulous Feebles Variety Hour!Copy !req
5. And now...Copy !req
6. here's...Copy !req
7. Harry!Copy !req
8. Yipeee! Ha ha!
Hi, folks!Copy !req
9. Welcome to the Feebles
Variety Hour.Copy !req
10. Oh boy, what a line-up
we've got for you tonight.Copy !req
11. But first, give a huge reception
to our very own Venus...Copy !req
12. that gorgeous hunk
of hippo-hood, Heidi!Copy !req
13. All right you fat slag,
move your ass!Copy !req
14. How dare you speak to me like that,
you horrible, spiteful little rat!Copy !req
15. I've heard better singing from
a mongoose with throat cancer.Copy !req
16. I won't stand for this treatment
any longer.Copy !req
17. I'm an artiste.
I demand respect!Copy !req
18. Artiste, that's a good one.Copy !req
19. That's it!
I've had enough!Copy !req
20. - I'm going straight to Bletch.
- You do that darling!Copy !req
21. What is going on over there?Copy !req
22. Heidi, where are you going?Copy !req
23. Trevor you haven't upset
her again have you?Copy !req
24. You know what happens
when she gets into a tizz.Copy !req
25. The old cow's had it too good
for too long.Copy !req
26. Like it or not, Trevor,
she's the star of the show.Copy !req
27. There's no Feebles without Heidi.Copy !req
28. Come on everybody.Copy !req
29. We're going out live
in twelve hours.Copy !req
30. Heaven forbid injecting
some urgency into this occasion...Copy !req
31. but for God's sake
get a move on!Copy !req
32. Have a good rehearsal, Miss Heidi.Copy !req
33. Bleeetch!Copy !req
34. Open the door this instant!Copy !req
35. Bletch!Copy !req
36. Oh, shit!Copy !req
37. I was just about
to pop my cookies!Copy !req
38. Sorry, Heidi, I was just
finishing off some paperwork.Copy !req
39. Trevor's been insulting me.Copy !req
40. Why, that foul-mouthed little rodent.Copy !req
41. I'll give him a good talking to.Copy !req
42. If it happens again,
I shan't perform.Copy !req
43. There there Heidi,
don't upset yourself.Copy !req
44. Do I smell perfume?Copy !req
45. You're imagining things
my sweet.Copy !req
46. Now you go and rest up.
Big night tonight.Copy !req
47. Come to my room later on?Copy !req
48. I'll try.Copy !req
49. Oh God!
Women!Copy !req
50. When are you going to dump
that huckery moll?Copy !req
51. Huckery moll she may be,
but she's also our major drawcard.Copy !req
52. Show some guts, Bletch!
Get rid of her!Copy !req
53. - God, wouldn't I like to!
- I'm not waiting around for ever.Copy !req
54. Don't worry, honey.
I'm working on it.Copy !req
55. Excuse me, please.
I wonder if you can help me.Copy !req
56. I've a letter here requesting me
to report to the stage manager.Copy !req
57. I'm busy!
Ask somebody else.Copy !req
58. Oh, well, no... you see...Copy !req
59. Excuse me, sir.
I wonder if you can help.Copy !req
60. I've a letter here asking me
to report to the stage manager.Copy !req
61. I don't know man.Copy !req
62. It's been a hell of a day.Copy !req
63. I can feel a migraine coming on.Copy !req
64. I need a paracetamol.Copy !req
65. Up here!Copy !req
66. New boy are you?
Looking for Arthur?Copy !req
67. Is he the stage manager?Copy !req
68. That's what he calls himself.Copy !req
69. You'll never find him.
I'll take you there.Copy !req
70. Thank you very much.Copy !req
71. I had an audition six months ago
and I've just got the confirmation...Copy !req
72. of my acceptance
into the Feeble Chorus.Copy !req
73. I tell you what, kiddo.Copy !req
74. It's not that crash hot.Copy !req
75. They run you ragged
and they pay's lousy.Copy !req
76. I'm not worried about the pay.Copy !req
77. It's an honour just to get a chance...Copy !req
78. to perform in the show.Copy !req
79. I've been an admirer
of the Feebles for such a long time.Copy !req
80. Yeah?Copy !req
81. You'll find it pretty tough
on the wages they dish out.Copy !req
82. But if you ever want to earn
a little extra on the side...Copy !req
83. I'm always interested
in little stories...Copy !req
84. anything spicy
or even smutty.Copy !req
85. Hey Arthur!
There's a new boy to see you.Copy !req
86. There's more filth in this place
than in the city sewers.Copy !req
87. And I pay good money
for the right info.Copy !req
88. Here you go, kid.
Don't hesitate to get in touch.Copy !req
89. You must be Robert.
I've been expecting you.Copy !req
90. Pleased to meet you sir.Copy !req
91. Just call me Arthur.Copy !req
92. Here you don't want that, son.Copy !req
93. He's a non-good muckraker
from the gutter press.Copy !req
94. Got nothing better to do
than make up lies...Copy !req
95. and nasty stories about the cast.Copy !req
96. Ooh!Copy !req
97. That's Miss Heidi.
You'll have heard of her.Copy !req
98. I certainly have.
She's my favourite star.Copy !req
99. Excuse me, girls.Copy !req
100. Can I have your attention
for a minute?Copy !req
101. I'd like to introduce you all
to a new member of the chorus.Copy !req
102. I'm sure you'll do your best to make
him feel a part of the Feeble family.Copy !req
103. Come on, say hello Robert.
Don't be bashful.Copy !req
104. Oh, isn't he handsome?Copy !req
105. What a lovely set of quills!Copy !req
106. That's Lucille.Copy !req
107. She's just joined the chorus
as well.Copy !req
108. You two should get together
sometime.Copy !req
109. Is it true that long quills
are a sign of virility?Copy !req
110. Now look what you've done!Copy !req
111. You've gone and got him
all embarrassed.Copy !req
112. Come on Robert old son.
Uncurl, there's a good boy.Copy !req
113. I think he fancies you, Lucy.Copy !req
114. Yes, it's true love all right.Copy !req
115. See the way he looked at you.Copy !req
116. Stop it!
He's just an old hedgehog!Copy !req
117. Lift those knees!
Hold your head up!Copy !req
118. Don't forget to breathe!Copy !req
119. What are you doing here,
pincushion?Copy !req
120. I was just watching the chorus.Copy !req
121. - You're the new boy, aren't you?
- Yes, I am.Copy !req
122. I just started today.
I'm Robert.Copy !req
123. You may be Robert to your friends,
but you're fly shit to me.Copy !req
124. Piss off!Copy !req
125. Yes, sir.Copy !req
126. Goddamn prickleback!Copy !req
127. That Lucille's got
a cute tush.Copy !req
128. I wouldn't mind giving her
a poke with the old pork sword.Copy !req
129. Trevor, please,
I need it, man.Copy !req
130. I need it.Copy !req
131. I told you before,
it's coming.Copy !req
132. Yeah, but...
I got the shakes something bad.Copy !req
133. If I don't get a fix,
I won't be able to perform.Copy !req
134. Listen, it'll be here, all right?Copy !req
135. Stop bothering me.Copy !req
136. I can pay for it.Copy !req
137. Thanks froggy.
This'll cover what you owe me.Copy !req
138. But that's all I've got!Copy !req
139. Well, you'd better find
another fifty bucks before six.Copy !req
140. But that's all I've got!Copy !req
141. Thank you everybody.Copy !req
142. You've all mutilated
that number rather nicely.Copy !req
143. We'll have another shot at it
at two thirty...Copy !req
144. and perhaps put it out
of its misery.Copy !req
145. Excuse me, Mr. Bletch.Copy !req
146. Sir...Copy !req
147. If I could have a minute
of your time.Copy !req
148. I've been waiting to see you
all day.Copy !req
149. I've got a smashing little routine
I think will go down a treat.Copy !req
150. So, you want to join the Feebles?Copy !req
151. Oh, rather!Copy !req
152. Ok son, I'll give you one minute.
Impress me.Copy !req
153. It's one of my own compositions.Copy !req
154. It's called:
"Glad to Be a Guppy".Copy !req
155. Is something the matter,
Mr. Bletch?Copy !req
156. I think I've got a cavity
in a rear molar.Copy !req
157. Would you mind
having a look for me?Copy !req
158. Oh, Certainly.Copy !req
159. It's right at the back.Copy !req
160. Oh, it's awful dark in here!Copy !req
161. Went down a treat, all right.
Heh, heh!Copy !req
162. Hello, Lucille.Copy !req
163. You may not remember me.Copy !req
164. My name is Robert
and I'd just like to say that...Copy !req
165. I think you're the most pretty girl
I've ever met.Copy !req
166. I was wondering if you would like
to go to the movies tomorrow night.Copy !req
167. Those flowers are for you!Copy !req
168. Maybe I should give her
the flowers first.Copy !req
169. Gorblimey!
The poor little blighter's smitten!Copy !req
170. Hi, these flowers are for you.
They are white roses.Copy !req
171. I hope you like them.Copy !req
172. You may not remember me,
but my name is Robert.Copy !req
173. I was wondering if you'd like
to go to the movies.Copy !req
174. I tried on the lace camisole
and it fitted perfectly.Copy !req
175. Hi, my name is...
movies and...Copy !req
176. I'd like to Robert you...Copy !req
177. Here Rob old son.
Come on in for a cup of tea.Copy !req
178. When are we due on the course?Copy !req
179. One o'clock sharp.
It's all arranged.Copy !req
180. How's your handicap, Barry?Copy !req
181. She's at home baking a cake, boss.Copy !req
182. Heavens, Heidi!Copy !req
183. You haven't been exercising,
have you?Copy !req
184. All that excess flab must put
a terrible strain on your heart.Copy !req
185. If you're referring to my muscle tone,
it's never been better.Copy !req
186. You must have awful trouble
buying clothes.Copy !req
187. Still, at your age I suppose
you might as well let your figure go.Copy !req
188. How dare you insult me, you,
you cheap pussy?Copy !req
189. You shuddering great herbivore!Copy !req
190. No wonder Bletch can't stand
the sight of you!Copy !req
191. You're lying!
He loves me!Copy !req
192. - He detests you!
- That's not true!Copy !req
193. You bore him to tears and
you're awful in bed.Copy !req
194. It's me he wants.
He can't get enough of me.Copy !req
195. Liar!Copy !req
196. If you weren't so stupid...Copy !req
197. you'd know we've been
having an affair for months.Copy !req
198. You liar!
You liar!Copy !req
199. Hey, good one!
You showed her!Copy !req
200. Right, Robbie.
Now you got everything I told you.Copy !req
201. She's in there now,
so you give it your best shot.Copy !req
202. Are you sure that this is a good
idea?Copy !req
203. She'll love it.Copy !req
204. Go on do your stuff.Copy !req
205. Keep going, keep going!
It's magic!Copy !req
206. I'm terribly sorry.
You must think I'm an idiot.Copy !req
207. I should never have done this.Copy !req
208. I promise you,
I shan't ever bother you again.Copy !req
209. Robert... wait!Copy !req
210. How did you know
I love flamenco?Copy !req
211. That were beautiful,
just beautiful.Copy !req
212. Oh, God!Copy !req
213. How did you get in?Copy !req
214. Oh, no!
Not the cold cream!Copy !req
215. I told you guys before,
stay out of my room!Copy !req
216. And stay out!Copy !req
217. WEEEEE!Copy !req
218. Flipping heck!Copy !req
219. Oh! What am I going to do now?Copy !req
220. It took me six months
to train that lot.Copy !req
221. Not a bad little meat pattie.Copy !req
222. Good shot, boss!Copy !req
223. Your shot, Cedric!Copy !req
224. I thought I told you
to wipe my clubs.Copy !req
225. Take that you bastard!Copy !req
226. Shit!Copy !req
227. I'm on form today!Copy !req
228. It's a lovely course.Copy !req
229. I'm tempted to join
the club myself.Copy !req
230. No chance of that,
I'm afraid, Cedric.Copy !req
231. You mean they discriminate
against Scots?Copy !req
232. No, we just don't like assholes
in the clubhouse.Copy !req
233. Sid, it's really decent of you
to have me in for a lager...Copy !req
234. after today's little mishap.Copy !req
235. No hard feelings Arthur.Copy !req
236. It's just my bad luck.Copy !req
237. This sort of thing is
always happening to me.Copy !req
238. Did I tell you Sandy's slapping
a paternity suit on me?Copy !req
239. Is that right?Copy !req
240. Yeah, she reckons that kid
she dropped is mine.Copy !req
241. I'd like to see her prove it, though.Copy !req
242. She's slept with half the chorus.Copy !req
243. Has he?Copy !req
244. She hasn't slept with me.Copy !req
245. Oh, no.
I wasn't suggesting anything.Copy !req
246. Like you're a mate, Arthur.
I know I can trust you.Copy !req
247. Oh, Christ,
here she comes now.Copy !req
248. Sidney, the date's been
set down as the 16th.Copy !req
249. If you don't appear in court,
it'll be held over until the 21st...Copy !req
250. at which time you'll be compelled
to provide a blood sample.Copy !req
251. Oh God Sandy, why did you bring it here?
It's not mine!Copy !req
252. You know it's not!Copy !req
253. We'll let the court decide that,
shall we?Copy !req
254. It's got your eyes, Sid.Copy !req
255. Say, who is that dame?Copy !req
256. That's Heidi.
Ain't she something?Copy !req
257. She's only been here a week
and already she's packing the joint.Copy !req
258. With a voice like that
she's going to go places!Copy !req
259. Yeah!Copy !req
260. Thank you!Copy !req
261. From the gentleman
with the red carnation.Copy !req
262. So, you're from the East?Copy !req
263. I hear they've got some
great swamps out that way.Copy !req
264. What's a cute young think like you
doing in the big smoke?Copy !req
265. I'm not so young.
In two years I'll be eighteen.Copy !req
266. Really?
But you're so well developed...Copy !req
267. Vocally, I mean.Copy !req
268. My singing teachers said
I've enormous lung power.Copy !req
269. I like your style, Heidi.Copy !req
270. - Really?
- You've got a lot of class.Copy !req
271. But that sometimes ain't enough.Copy !req
272. I seen a lot of girls like you
ruined in this town.Copy !req
273. You need to make
the right connections,Copy !req
274. and that's where I can help.Copy !req
275. Are you a producer?Copy !req
276. I aim to be.
I aim to be the best goddam...Copy !req
277. producer this town has ever seen.Copy !req
278. I got the contacts,
I got the capital...Copy !req
279. what I need is what you got:Copy !req
280. Talent!Copy !req
281. Heidi, I want to manage you.Copy !req
282. But...Copy !req
283. I don't even know who you are!Copy !req
284. They call me Bletch!Copy !req
285. Bletch!
What a lovely name!Copy !req
286. Tell me Heidi...Copy !req
287. do those lips kiss as good
as they sing?Copy !req
288. Bletch!Copy !req
289. Very nice, Mr. Bletch.Copy !req
290. Perhaps you'd like to inspect
my range of clubs.Copy !req
291. It's good gear,
I can assure you.Copy !req
292. Of that I have no doubts.Copy !req
293. It's good stuff boss.Copy !req
294. When can we expect delivery?Copy !req
295. Meet Louie in the alleyway
at six.Copy !req
296. Sorry.
A touch of the ptomaine.Copy !req
297. It must be all this fresh air.
It gives me hay fever.Copy !req
298. Bad luck old chap!Copy !req
299. What the?Copy !req
300. My apologies Cedric!Copy !req
301. I had a bone stuck in my throat.Copy !req
302. My game, I think.Copy !req
303. Shit!Copy !req
304. Did I pass the audition,
Mr. Bletch?Copy !req
305. Oh, harder Harry, oh!Copy !req
306. Oh, yes, yes, oh!Copy !req
307. Harry!Copy !req
308. All those carrots
make me good in the dark.Copy !req
309. But it feels so good!Copy !req
310. They don't call it "bunnylingus"
for nothing, sweetheart.Copy !req
311. What about me?
Are you going to service me too?Copy !req
312. Sure, climb on up and
I'll give you a valve grind.Copy !req
313. Hey!
Hold on a moment!Copy !req
314. What's going on?
I can't see.Copy !req
315. Goddamn pervert!Copy !req
316. Who was it, Harry?Copy !req
317. Just a little creep
with a bad case of jizm pressure.Copy !req
318. How's your jizm pressure,
Harry?Copy !req
319. I can feel it coming on.Copy !req
320. Oh, boy,
it's going to be a gusher!Copy !req
321. Oh, no!Copy !req
322. No, no!Copy !req
323. No no, help!Copy !req
324. Take that!Copy !req
325. Oh, no!Copy !req
326. Take that, you bitch!Copy !req
327. I beg you, please now stop it!Copy !req
328. Call me "sir", slut!Copy !req
329. Ow!Copy !req
330. Leave her alone!
Are you all right, madam?Copy !req
331. Cut!Copy !req
332. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
333. You have a nasty habit of sticking
your nose in where it's not wanted.Copy !req
334. I'm sorry.Copy !req
335. You ruined my take, kid.
I never do two takes!Copy !req
336. I didn't know it was a film.Copy !req
337. Hurry it up,
I'm freezing!Copy !req
338. I'm sorry for interrupting.
I won't disturb you any longer.Copy !req
339. We'll skip the whipping.Copy !req
340. Let's move on to the blowjob.Copy !req
341. Where's the Masked Masochist?Copy !req
342. Oh Christ that's all I need!Copy !req
343. He's carked!Copy !req
344. Didn't you realise
you were sitting on his face?Copy !req
345. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but
I thought it was my hemorrhoids.Copy !req
346. What the hell, maybe I can sell it
as a snuff movie.Copy !req
347. Well you'll have to find a substitute.Copy !req
348. I don't do self abuse.Copy !req
349. No worries, Daisy.
I know just the guy.Copy !req
350. What do you know!
It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge.Copy !req
351. Oh gosh! I was just looking
for the soap powder.Copy !req
352. Sure, Dennis.
Have a whiff of these.Copy !req
353. They've got
a real distinctive bouquet.Copy !req
354. Dennis, I've got a little job for you.Copy !req
355. NOOOO!Copy !req
356. Oh my god!
Next!Copy !req
357. All right everybody,
from the top!Copy !req
358. Music, please!Copy !req
359. STOP!Copy !req
360. Oh for Christ sake! What the hell was wrong
with that?Copy !req
361. Who is holding
that red pennant?Copy !req
362. Me sir.Copy !req
363. And what on earth do you think
you're doing?Copy !req
364. I'm patrolling the moat, sir.Copy !req
365. Patrolling the moat?
I see.Copy !req
366. You were instructed to stay
upstage left.Copy !req
367. Italian pennant bearers of
the XVII century were frequently...Copy !req
368. known to patrol the rampart
on the lookout for Turkish invaders.Copy !req
369. How very elucidating.Copy !req
370. I've been reading up on it, sir.Copy !req
371. My drama teacher at school
said...Copy !req
372. I should always research
a role thoroughly.Copy !req
373. Really?
Well let me tell you something.Copy !req
374. This is a television variety show...Copy !req
375. not a homage to Soviet Realism!Copy !req
376. Good grief! I asked for a pennant,
not a pedant!Copy !req
377. All right, again!
From the top!Copy !req
378. Excuse me!Copy !req
379. STOP!Copy !req
380. Oh shit!Copy !req
381. Oh, God!Copy !req
382. What is it?Copy !req
383. It's just I'm having trouble
with my motivation.Copy !req
384. I don't understand
why I would remain still...Copy !req
385. when the scene itself suggests
vigorous physical action...Copy !req
386. danger even.Copy !req
387. I suppose you'd like everyone
to stop singing...Copy !req
388. while you come forward to do
a little war dance center stage.Copy !req
389. Is that it?Copy !req
390. Well, it had crossed my mind!Copy !req
391. My god!Copy !req
392. Sorry guv, I hate to interrupt,
but I don't think...Copy !req
393. the knife thrower's assistant
is going to pull through.Copy !req
394. Shall I cancel Winyard's act
entirely?Copy !req
395. I think not.Copy !req
396. I've got just the substitute.Copy !req
397. "Dennis Does Daisy!"
Take 1.Copy !req
398. Dennis, drop your strides.Copy !req
399. Come on, come on,
the camera's rolling.Copy !req
400. Oh for Chrissake!Copy !req
401. Is that the best you can do?Copy !req
402. Trevor do something about this guy!Copy !req
403. Come on, get aroused!Copy !req
404. I can't.Copy !req
405. Well, I'm not doing anything
until he cracks a fat.Copy !req
406. What's the matter?
Doesn't she turn you on?Copy !req
407. Here you go.
Will these help?Copy !req
408. Oh god, not another panty-sniffer!Copy !req
409. He's going to want me
to piss in his mouth next.Copy !req
410. Ok kid, do your stuff.Copy !req
411. Oh yes!
Yes!Copy !req
412. Oh, God!
I feel terrible!Copy !req
413. What's happening to me?Copy !req
414. What's the matter, Harry?
Not feeling too well?Copy !req
415. What?
Who said that?Copy !req
416. It's all those last nights.Copy !req
417. Maybe you're not getting
enough vitamins.Copy !req
418. Care to join me for lunch?Copy !req
419. Hmm, carrots!
It's not one of yours, is it Harry?Copy !req
420. You are sick!Copy !req
421. No, Harry.
I think you are.Copy !req
422. Give me the rundown
on your symptoms.Copy !req
423. I ain't got nothing,
you shit-eating journo.Copy !req
424. You can't suppress the media,
Harry.Copy !req
425. Come on, you can tell me,
I'll be very discreet.Copy !req
426. I'm as fit as a fiddle.
I feel fantastic.Copy !req
427. And I'm sick and tired of your...Copy !req
428. Hold it right there!Copy !req
429. "I'm tired and I'm sick",
says Harry...Copy !req
430. the Hare star of
the Feebles Variety Hour.Copy !req
431. Sounds like the germs
of a good story.Copy !req
432. Leave me alone!Copy !req
433. You can't hide the truth.Copy !req
434. Whatever you've got, I'll find it out
or I'll make it up.Copy !req
435. This is going to be a great scoop!Copy !req
436. Jesus Trevor,
have you got the stuff?Copy !req
437. I'm hanging out, man.Copy !req
438. I'll get you the money tomorrow,
I promise.Copy !req
439. Hello, my name's Robert.Copy !req
440. - Are you the new supplier?
- I've been sent by the director...Copy !req
441. to assist you in your
knife-throwing routine.Copy !req
442. - Oh, shit!
- I wondered if you'd like to practice.Copy !req
443. No, I don't know, man,
I really don't know.Copy !req
444. It's not such a hot idea.Copy !req
445. - Have you got any smack?
- Smack?Copy !req
446. Horse, liquid sky,
skag...Copy !req
447. snow, coke, crack,
methadone...Copy !req
448. Benzedrine, pinkies, San Ped...Copy !req
449. Morning Glory, nutmeg,
blue meanies...Copy !req
450. aspirin, Ados, paracetamol...Copy !req
451. Vicks Vapour Rub?Copy !req
452. Oh, you don't happen to be
an asthmatic by any chance?Copy !req
453. Could I borrow your huffer?Copy !req
454. I don't take drugs of any sort.Copy !req
455. I don't believe it's right
to abuse your body like that.Copy !req
456. Oh, that's easy for you to say.Copy !req
457. You haven't been to hell and back.Copy !req
458. - Eh?
- Nam!Copy !req
459. - You've been to Vietnam?
- I saw the worst of it, kid.Copy !req
460. Tet Offensive 1968.Copy !req
461. Charlie had our backs
against the wall!Copy !req
462. There were six of us.Copy !req
463. No, there were five of us.Copy !req
464. Every gook north of Saigon
was drawing a bead on us.Copy !req
465. Winyard!
Cover me!Copy !req
466. Jim! Jim!Copy !req
467. Thanks Jim, I owe you one!Copy !req
468. I wasn't about to see my best buddy
peppered with Charlie's lead.Copy !req
469. Three weeks later...Copy !req
470. we were on a routine patrol
north of Tai Pang.Copy !req
471. Charlie was close...Copy !req
472. so close
you could almost smell him.Copy !req
473. Where's Eightball?Copy !req
474. We better go back and look for him.Copy !req
475. Eightball!
Thank God!Copy !req
476. We thought the gooks
had got you, Eightball.Copy !req
477. Drop your weapons and put your hands up
revisionist running dogs.Copy !req
478. In the days that followed
I wished a thousand times...Copy !req
479. that it was my head
on that stake.Copy !req
480. Re-education time
for fascist imperialists.Copy !req
481. You... read...Copy !req
482. You... read.Copy !req
483. I can't see, you bastards!Copy !req
484. We didn't see Chuck for two days.Copy !req
485. We thought he was a goner.Copy !req
486. But then on the third night
they brought him back to us.Copy !req
487. The bastards had taken his legs.Copy !req
488. I still say that private enterprise...Copy !req
489. is acceptable
at a village level...Copy !req
490. providing it is strictly controlled
by the party.Copy !req
491. We must not let petty
bourgeois aspirations...Copy !req
492. taint socialist pedagogy.Copy !req
493. Reform is the enemy
of revolution.Copy !req
494. The Cong hadn't finished with us yet.Copy !req
495. Their twisted communist minds
had devised one last torture.Copy !req
496. As I stared down
the muzzle of that gun...Copy !req
497. I thought of Chuck and Eightball...Copy !req
498. and the thousands of others
who had perished...Copy !req
499. in that godforsaken wilderness.Copy !req
500. I was not afraid to join them.Copy !req
501. Let's go out of here!Copy !req
502. Help me!Copy !req
503. Come on buddy, help me up!Copy !req
504. Winyard! Winyard!
Don't leave me!Copy !req
505. Please!
Dear god-no!Copy !req
506. It was six months before
I got out that Saigon hospital.Copy !req
507. By then I was hooked
on every barbiturate known to man.Copy !req
508. Gosh!
What an awful time you've had!Copy !req
509. Hey kid...Copy !req
510. you want to express your sympathy
in some kind of material away?Copy !req
511. How can I do that?Copy !req
512. Vietnam Vets Association.Copy !req
513. We're badly under-funded.Copy !req
514. Minimum donation fifty bucks.Copy !req
515. Thanks, kid.Copy !req
516. The Association was in bad need...Copy !req
517. of a cash injection.Copy !req
518. Ooh! Ooh!
What an organ!Copy !req
519. Do you really think people
are interested in nasal sex?Copy !req
520. Sure boss.
It's the latest fad.Copy !req
521. You got a title?Copy !req
522. I thought:
"Dennis Does Daisy"Copy !req
523. Nah, that's lousy.Copy !req
524. Well how about:Copy !req
525. "Anal Antics"?Copy !req
526. Anal Antics...Copy !req
527. Not bad.Copy !req
528. It's got a certain ring to it.Copy !req
529. It'll appeal to the intellectuals.Copy !req
530. Do you think it'll do as well as
our last release...Copy !req
531. and win the Hooker Prize?Copy !req
532. You know I'm worried
about Madame Bovine.Copy !req
533. We've lost money on
her last two pictures.Copy !req
534. You want her replaced, boss?Copy !req
535. I think the public are tired
of big udders.Copy !req
536. Find someone young and petite.Copy !req
537. Sure thing, boss.Copy !req
538. Bring on the next act!Copy !req
539. It's the contortionist,
Arbee Bargwan.Copy !req
540. I told him he wasn't needed
for half an hour.Copy !req
541. He'll be meditating.Copy !req
542. Well you'll just have
to interrupt him, won't you?Copy !req
543. Never mind.
I'll get him myself.Copy !req
544. Arbee darling,
I hate to intrude upon nirvana...Copy !req
545. but you're needed on stage.Copy !req
546. Please don't interrupt me.
I am traveling on the astral plane.Copy !req
547. Perhaps you could change
your flight plan...Copy !req
548. and grace us mere mortals
with your presence.Copy !req
549. I'm impervious to your cynicism.Copy !req
550. Listen to me,
you double-jointed freak!Copy !req
551. If you're not on stage
in five minutes...Copy !req
552. you can consider yourself permanently
disembodied from the show.Copy !req
553. Hey!Copy !req
554. Oh good gracious, Harry!Copy !req
555. Somebody call a doctor!Copy !req
556. How are we feeling, Harry?Copy !req
557. I feel real bad, Doc.
What have I got.Copy !req
558. I'll do some tests,
but I don't hold out much hope.Copy !req
559. There's only one disease
that fits these symptoms.Copy !req
560. It's the big one, Harry.Copy !req
561. No!
Not the big one!Copy !req
562. I'll have to notify
the health authorities.Copy !req
563. They'll want a list of
your sexual partners...Copy !req
564. for the last twelve months.Copy !req
565. It can't be true!
It can't be!Copy !req
566. I've taken precautions!Copy !req
567. Ah, tell me Doc...Copy !req
568. how long have I got?Copy !req
569. It's difficult to tell...Copy !req
570. but with a case
as advanced as yours...Copy !req
571. ten,
maybe twelve...Copy !req
572. - Months?
- Hours.Copy !req
573. I'm sorry, Harry.Copy !req
574. Doc, can you do me
one favourCopy !req
575. Sure Harry, shoot.Copy !req
576. Don't tell anyone.
Let me do the show tonight.Copy !req
577. OK Harry.Copy !req
578. I want to go out
with my reputation intact.Copy !req
579. Fat chance Harry!Copy !req
580. All right then Arbee,
thrill me!Copy !req
581. Hippy shit!Copy !req
582. Sorry Guv.
Should I start again?Copy !req
583. Move on, move on.Copy !req
584. Oh dear!Copy !req
585. Are you all right up there?Copy !req
586. I seem to have stuck
my head up my rectum.Copy !req
587. You mean it's not part of your act?
Pity.Copy !req
588. We could call it:
"Passage to India."Copy !req
589. Come on, come on, uncontort!Copy !req
590. Somebody help him!Copy !req
591. It's no good Guv,
he's stuck fast.Copy !req
592. I am in need of assistance here,
please!Copy !req
593. Oh god, this is it!
This is the last straw!Copy !req
594. Bletch!Copy !req
595. We've got to talk!Copy !req
596. We've got a crisis on our hands!Copy !req
597. Winyard's killed his assistant.Copy !req
598. Arbee's out of action...Copy !req
599. Sid's routine is
a complete write-off!Copy !req
600. We've got no alternative but
to reinstate my song!Copy !req
601. No!Copy !req
602. Bletch, I'm sorry...Copy !req
603. but the show is
in a shambles!Copy !req
604. This is a family show,
for Chrissake!Copy !req
605. The network would never allow it.Copy !req
606. But it's a superb piece of song
and dance...Copy !req
607. It'll go down fabulously
with the public.Copy !req
608. I demand it be included!Copy !req
609. Keep your filthy paws
off my furniture!Copy !req
610. We've got a wonderful new
interpretation.Copy !req
611. It sort of goes like this.
Watch.Copy !req
612. The chorus comes in stage left...Copy !req
613. and there's a lovely little bit
with a piano...Copy !req
614. and that's where I come in
from upstage.Copy !req
615. And I sort of pirouette...Copy !req
616. and the strings are swirling
around me...Copy !req
617. and if you can imagine...Copy !req
618. and the cellos are coming in
and it's just...Copy !req
619. And I leap across la la!Copy !req
620. I say, Bletch,
put me down!Copy !req
621. I've had just about enough
of your goddamn compositions.Copy !req
622. Now get back on the stage
and do your job!Copy !req
623. It's your loss, Philistine!Copy !req
624. Faggot!Copy !req
625. Good morning, Frau Heidi!
What will it be today?Copy !req
626. Just one of those tiny truffles,
please.Copy !req
627. This one...Copy !req
628. Will that be all, Frau Heidi?Copy !req
629. Something to take away, maybe?Copy !req
630. The black forest cherry cake?Copy !req
631. Hi Harry!
Just doing a bit of undercover work.Copy !req
632. Heh!
That rash on your groin...Copy !req
633. looks pretty ugly...Copy !req
634. and don't taste too good neither.Copy !req
635. Get out of my bed, you parasite!Copy !req
636. Hold it right there, Harry.
That's great!Copy !req
637. Me nuts!Copy !req
638. I was sorry to hear
about your fatal disease.Copy !req
639. Do you have any comments?Copy !req
640. It's a slander,
it's libel!Copy !req
641. I have no fatal disease!
I'm perfectly healthy!Copy !req
642. Let me just see what
Dr. Quack had to say.Copy !req
643. "There's only one disease
that fits these symptoms.Copy !req
644. It's the big one, Harry."Copy !req
645. Unquote.Copy !req
646. Move your hand away.Copy !req
647. I want some shots of real tears.Copy !req
648. Want do you want from me?
Money?Copy !req
649. I'll pay you anything.Copy !req
650. Sorry, Harry.Copy !req
651. You could never pay me
what this story's worth.Copy !req
652. Wait! Wait!Copy !req
653. I'll give you
my life insurance policy.Copy !req
654. Life insurance?
Now you're talking.Copy !req
655. Come over here,
I'll sign it over to you.Copy !req
656. Great, I'll be able to cash it
in this time tomorrow.Copy !req
657. Nice try, Harry!Copy !req
658. I've got to go, we both
have deadlines to meet.Copy !req
659. Get it, Harry?
"Deadline".Copy !req
660. That's not a bad one.
Stop press!Copy !req
661. Hold the front page!
I got an exclusive!Copy !req
662. Here!
You stuck it in the wrong way round!Copy !req
663. I'm sorry.
I didn't know worms had nerves.Copy !req
664. Since the nightmare of Vietnam
he's been a hopeless drug addict.Copy !req
665. It made me realise
just how lucky I am.Copy !req
666. How lucky we both are!Copy !req
667. I'm so glad we decided
to get engaged.Copy !req
668. Good luck for tonight, Lucy.Copy !req
669. - Are you nervous?
- Just a bit.Copy !req
670. Me too.Copy !req
671. Actually I'm terribly nervous.Copy !req
672. This is my first show.Copy !req
673. You'll be wonderful.
I know you will.Copy !req
674. I hope I'm not interrupting.Copy !req
675. I was just dressing
for the show.Copy !req
676. So I see.Copy !req
677. What do you want?Copy !req
678. A moment of your time.Copy !req
679. We've got something
to celebrate.Copy !req
680. - What's that?
- Your new career.Copy !req
681. Lucille, I'm going to put you
in the movies.Copy !req
682. Movies!Copy !req
683. I've been watching you
for some time.Copy !req
684. You've got
that indefinable something.Copy !req
685. Star quality!Copy !req
686. That's my real ambition,
to be in films!Copy !req
687. I've got a meaty part for you.Copy !req
688. Will I have to audition?Copy !req
689. That's what I'm here for.Copy !req
690. I feel woozy.Copy !req
691. Let me loosen your clothes.Copy !req
692. What beautiful white fur
you've got, my dear.Copy !req
693. Lucille, you left this in my room...Copy !req
694. Take a hike!
Can't you see that we're busy?Copy !req
695. - Lucille!
- Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
696. - Robert!
- You've been drinking!Copy !req
697. It's OK.
I've finished with her anyway.Copy !req
698. Oh, go for your life, kid.
She's a real good ride.Copy !req
699. - How could you do this?
- Robert!Copy !req
700. Lucille, how could you?Copy !req
701. No!
Robert!Copy !req
702. Wait!Copy !req
703. Where is she for God's sake?
Look at the time!Copy !req
704. It's all right, Guv.
Miss Heidi's arrived on stage.Copy !req
705. At last!
From the top!Copy !req
706. It wasn't my fault.Copy !req
707. You've been over-eating again!Copy !req
708. No I haven't.Copy !req
709. There is black forest cherry cake
in your cleavage.Copy !req
710. Ooh! How did that get there?Copy !req
711. You know what chocolate
does to your system.Copy !req
712. It was only a small wedge.Copy !req
713. Your contract states
you are forbidden...Copy !req
714. to eat gateaux
on the day of a performance.Copy !req
715. - I was depressed.
- You're depressed!Copy !req
716. We're going out live in three hours,
for god sake.Copy !req
717. Don't speak to me like that!
You don't understand!Copy !req
718. None of you understand!Copy !req
719. Bletch! Bletch!Copy !req
720. Suddenly I feel very very old.Copy !req
721. Bletch!
Don't you want to have me?Copy !req
722. I must talk to you.Copy !req
723. Say you love only me!Copy !req
724. Don't you love me?Copy !req
725. Don't you, Bletch?Copy !req
726. Oh... er... Heidi...Copy !req
727. Bletch?Copy !req
728. No!Copy !req
729. Heidi!
It's not what you think.Copy !req
730. Heidi!Copy !req
731. Miss Heidi,
what on earth's the matter?Copy !req
732. Damn!Copy !req
733. What took you so long?Copy !req
734. We were starting to think
you weren't going to show.Copy !req
735. We had some trouble
with Customs snooping around.Copy !req
736. Is it all there?Copy !req
737. Yeah, yeah.
It's all there.Copy !req
738. I've got to go.Copy !req
739. Not so fast.Copy !req
740. It's all there, I tell you.Copy !req
741. What's the hurry, Louie?Copy !req
742. It's one hundred per cent
pure-uncut.Copy !req
743. I'm sure it is.Copy !req
744. Barry, do me a line.Copy !req
745. Some contracts
for you to sign, Mr. Bletch.Copy !req
746. Here Dennis.
I've got a little treat for you.Copy !req
747. Don't mind if I do Mr. Bletch.Copy !req
748. Borax!Copy !req
749. Honest to God,
I didn't know.Copy !req
750. I'm as surprised as you are.Copy !req
751. Please Mr. Bletch,
let's talk about this.Copy !req
752. I think that's a very good idea.Copy !req
753. Where's the merchandise?Copy !req
754. It's... it's...Copy !req
755. Speak up.
I can't hear you.Copy !req
756. It's down on the docks.Copy !req
757. Mr. Big's shipping it out
tonight.Copy !req
758. Whereabouts on the docks?Copy !req
759. Shed 11.Copy !req
760. There, that wasn't so hard,
was it?Copy !req
761. What are we going to do
with all this borax?Copy !req
762. You seem a bit congested, Louie.Copy !req
763. Maybe your passages need
cleaning.Copy !req
764. I don't understand.Copy !req
765. Say "ah".Copy !req
766. Oh, no... no!Copy !req
767. No, Mr. Bletch, please!Copy !req
768. You liquidated him real good,
boss.Copy !req
769. I think it's time we paid our
Mr. Big a visit.Copy !req
770. Bletch...Copy !req
771. - I'm sorry, the show's off.
- What the hell are you talking about?Copy !req
772. Heidi refuses to perform.Copy !req
773. The network won't proceed without her,
they cancel the live transmission.Copy !req
774. What do you mean?
Of course she's performing.Copy !req
775. I'm sorry Bletch.Copy !req
776. She's locked herself in her room
and won't talk to anyone.Copy !req
777. Give me five minutes.Copy !req
778. It's all over.
Go home everybody.Copy !req
779. It's kaput.Copy !req
780. Finito!
Buggered!Copy !req
781. It's all off!Copy !req
782. Oh my goodness!
Steady me, Barton.Copy !req
783. I think I'm going to faint.Copy !req
784. Heidi!
It's Bletch!Copy !req
785. Heidi,
I want to make love to you.Copy !req
786. Oh, Bletch!Copy !req
787. You drive me crazy.
Come over here and undo my buttons!Copy !req
788. You mad impetuous brute!Copy !req
789. I knew you'd come.Copy !req
790. Somebody call the network.Copy !req
791. The show will go on!Copy !req
792. So I got out me razor
and slit his throat.Copy !req
793. Then I buggered the bastard.Copy !req
794. Oh, straight Cedric.Copy !req
795. It's bad enough getting wasted,
but...Copy !req
796. to have your last living memory
being rooted by a Scots psychopath...Copy !req
797. it's what I call a real bummer,
mate.Copy !req
798. What's that?Copy !req
799. Oh Christ! Lookout!Copy !req
800. Bastards!Copy !req
801. Bastards...
I'm buggered!Copy !req
802. Right men, let's load up.Copy !req
803. That's the lot, boss.Copy !req
804. Time we made ourselves scarce.Copy !req
805. Aaah!Copy !req
806. Oh, no!Copy !req
807. Help me boss!Copy !req
808. Move it, Trevor!Copy !req
809. Oh Jesus!Copy !req
810. Shit!Copy !req
811. Drive, for Chrissake!Copy !req
812. Plant boot!Copy !req
813. God I hate arachnids!Copy !req
814. Christ-it's Mr. Big!Copy !req
815. Hello Bletch.
Where are you going?Copy !req
816. I'm taking what's mine.
Don't try to stop us.Copy !req
817. You're out of your league,
little fella.Copy !req
818. Kiss your arse goodbye!Copy !req
819. Take him out Trevor.Copy !req
820. Change down Trevor,
the duodenum's pretty steep.Copy !req
821. Which way, boss?
Left or right?Copy !req
822. Follow the light.Copy !req
823. Get me back to the theater
double quick!Copy !req
824. Sure thing, boss.Copy !req
825. I'll have to change my suit.
I'm covered in ambergris.Copy !req
826. Where's Harry?
He's meant to be here!Copy !req
827. Move the carrot to the left.
Have you focused the spot?Copy !req
828. Where's Harry for God's sake?Copy !req
829. Don't look like
Harry's going to perform.Copy !req
830. He's had a bad turn.Copy !req
831. No problem...Copy !req
832. We'll bring "The Garden of Love" forward.Copy !req
833. We're on a roll everybody.Copy !req
834. Miss Heidi, you look radiant.Copy !req
835. Dorothy, I feel radiant!Copy !req
836. Tonight will be
the performance of my life!Copy !req
837. - Kill me if you want to, Harry.
- It's too late.Copy !req
838. It won't make any difference.
The story's already gone to press.Copy !req
839. You overgrown maggot!
You're bluffing!Copy !req
840. Am I Harry?Copy !req
841. Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!Copy !req
842. Famous Feeble has
death row sex disease!Copy !req
843. Congratulations,
you're front-page news.Copy !req
844. Extra, extra!
Read all about it!Copy !req
845. Extra!
¡Extra, extra!Copy !req
846. Sex disease strikes
Feeble fraternity.Copy !req
847. Thank you, ma'am.
Extra, extra!Copy !req
848. Sex disease...
Thank you, sir.Copy !req
849. Jesus Christ!
Do you know anything about this?Copy !req
850. Not a thing, boss.Copy !req
851. Why couldn't that bed-hopping bunny
keep his member to himself?Copy !req
852. Who wrote this crap?Copy !req
853. I've got a good idea, boss.Copy !req
854. Find him!Copy !req
855. Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention please.Copy !req
856. Welcome to the newest,
the greatest...Copy !req
857. the most spectacular show...Copy !req
858. in entertainment history.Copy !req
859. Put your hands together...Copy !req
860. for the fabulous
Feebles Variety Hour!Copy !req
861. This is a historic moment, Arthur.Copy !req
862. Tonight we rocket
into super stardom!Copy !req
863. It's an honour to be a part of it,
Mr. Bletch.Copy !req
864. Hey Trev,
I've got fifty bucks, man.Copy !req
865. I've got to have it.
I'm on real soon.Copy !req
866. This is serious, man.
Look at my hands.Copy !req
867. Come with me.Copy !req
868. Gorblimey!
Is that a real Havana, Mr. Bletch?Copy !req
869. Would you like one, Arthur?Copy !req
870. Would I ever!Copy !req
871. Thanks a million, Mr. Bletch.
You're a scholar and a gent.Copy !req
872. I haven't had one of these
since me twenty first.Copy !req
873. It's a real man's smoke,
ain't it, Mr. Bletch?Copy !req
874. Bletch,
it's going fabulously!Copy !req
875. I've just heard
from the network.Copy !req
876. They've confirmed
a syndicated series!Copy !req
877. And the critics!
The critics are adoring it!Copy !req
878. A syndicated series, eh?Copy !req
879. Well done, Sebastian.Copy !req
880. I can see the headlines now.Copy !req
881. "Director's Artistic Genius...Copy !req
882. Makes Feeble Evening...Copy !req
883. Outstanding Success".Copy !req
884. I've got to go on!Copy !req
885. I've got to go on!Copy !req
886. My public loves me.Copy !req
887. I can't disappoint them.Copy !req
888. Robert, we have to talk.Copy !req
889. We've nothing to say each other.Copy !req
890. I want to tell you what happened.Copy !req
891. I thought you were nice.Copy !req
892. I am nice.Copy !req
893. No, you're not.
You're loose!Copy !req
894. - And you drink!
- No!Copy !req
895. You're nothing but
a loose lush, Lucille!Copy !req
896. And... I never want
to see you again.Copy !req
897. I say everyone,
who's the dirty person...Copy !req
898. who did the great big stinky poo
that's blocking up the toilet?Copy !req
899. God Trevor, must you be
so disgusting?Copy !req
900. Oh, choice!Copy !req
901. What are you doing?
Let me go!Copy !req
902. You've been telling stories again,
haven't you?Copy !req
903. You got a problem with the article,
write to the editor.Copy !req
904. That won't be necessary.Copy !req
905. Help me!Copy !req
906. What do you know, boss,
a left-wing reporter!Copy !req
907. We can't have a biased press,
can we Trevor?Copy !req
908. No boss.Copy !req
909. Now that's what I call
an impartial journalist.Copy !req
910. Hello Bletch!Copy !req
911. Heidi!
What the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
912. Congratulations!Copy !req
913. The show is a wonderful success!Copy !req
914. What do you want?Copy !req
915. Our encounter this afternoon
was so brief!Copy !req
916. I thought you might like
a second helping.Copy !req
917. Heidi!Copy !req
918. For Chrissake
put your dress back on!Copy !req
919. Come and sit next to me.Copy !req
920. If it's too hot for you,
I can turn on the air conditioning.Copy !req
921. I'm hot Bletch,
but not the way you think.Copy !req
922. You're not feeling shy,
are you Bletch?Copy !req
923. Do you remember that time
in Paris?Copy !req
924. We didn't leave the hotel
for three whole days!Copy !req
925. I remember all right.Copy !req
926. I had to go to the hospital
with severe chafing.Copy !req
927. Kiss me, Bletch!Copy !req
928. Get away from me!
You shuddering mound of blubber!Copy !req
929. Have you any idea
how revolting you look?Copy !req
930. Bletch... no!Copy !req
931. You disgust me!
Look at you!Copy !req
932. You're old and you're fat...
and you smell bad...Copy !req
933. Aggh!Copy !req
934. No!Copy !req
935. I was going to wait
till after the show...Copy !req
936. but I might as well tell you now.Copy !req
937. You're through with the Feebles!
I don't need you!Copy !req
938. I've got a syndicated series...Copy !req
939. and I'm grooming Samantha
to be the star.Copy !req
940. No!Copy !req
941. I hope you enjoyed tonight.
That was your last performance!Copy !req
942. Now get out of here!Copy !req
943. And now, someone
who needs no introduction.Copy !req
944. Heeere's...Copy !req
945. Harry!Copy !req
946. Yipeeeee!Copy !req
947. Oh shit!Copy !req
948. Launch the carrot!
For God sakes launch the carrot!Copy !req
949. What am I going to do?
Oh my god!Copy !req
950. Sidney, you're going to have
to fill in for a few minutes.Copy !req
951. But... I've got to go the toilet.Copy !req
952. Improvise!Copy !req
953. Improvise!Copy !req
954. But I've got a really weak bladder!Copy !req
955. Say something!Copy !req
956. Go on, say something!
Anything!Copy !req
957. The show is going really well,
I think.Copy !req
958. Goodbye, Bletch.Copy !req
959. We'll drop the barrel balancing act
and bring the knife throwing forward.Copy !req
960. Where the hell is Winyard?
Why isn't anybody listening to me?Copy !req
961. And so without further ado
please give a big hand...Copy !req
962. for our fabulous knife thrower.Copy !req
963. Sidney!Copy !req
964. Oh, no!Copy !req
965. You philandering bastard!Copy !req
966. Sandy, not in front of all the people!Copy !req
967. What I have to say
I want the world to know.Copy !req
968. He may look like
a lovable old pachyderm...Copy !req
969. but he's a steaming great shit!Copy !req
970. I don't believe it!Copy !req
971. Goodbye life!
Hello death!Copy !req
972. Hey Seb!
Good to see you, man.Copy !req
973. Pull yourself together!
You're next up!Copy !req
974. Have you ever noticed
the beautiful lighting in this toilet?Copy !req
975. He used me to vent
his lustful passions...Copy !req
976. but as soon as I was up the duff
it was another story.Copy !req
977. He had his pleasure
and left me with this.Copy !req
978. Dadda!Copy !req
979. Seymour, run to Daddy.Copy !req
980. Dadda! Dadda!Copy !req
981. Oh, no!
Look, I've got to go.Copy !req
982. I've got an urgent call of nature.Copy !req
983. That's right, run away!Copy !req
984. That's what you've always done.Copy !req
985. I don't think I'm going to make it!Copy !req
986. Oh yes, a good conditioner
works wonders on my coat.Copy !req
987. Oh, Sid, no!Copy !req
988. Oh sorry guys.
I was bursting.Copy !req
989. Oh Sid-you bastard!Copy !req
990. You're supposed to wait
till it's all clear!Copy !req
991. Thanks a lot, Sid!
I'm on in five minutes.Copy !req
992. Goodbye life!Copy !req
993. Oh, there it is!Copy !req
994. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.Copy !req
995. Don't let me stop you.Copy !req
996. I think you'll find
the safety catch is on.Copy !req
997. Eat lead you man-stealing slut!Copy !req
998. Oh yeah!
Hey, wow!Copy !req
999. Amazing!Copy !req
1000. Bastard!Copy !req
1001. Bastard!Copy !req
1002. Where'd it go?Copy !req
1003. God.Copy !req
1004. That's it!
I'm left no alternative!Copy !req
1005. I don't care what Bletch says.
We're doing my song!Copy !req
1006. It's up to me to save the show,
as usual.Copy !req
1007. All right, everybody!
As we rehearsed!Copy !req
1008. Ah, please God!Copy !req
1009. I know I've been a bad bunny...Copy !req
1010. but if you make me well again
I promise... promise...Copy !req
1011. I'll be good
for the rest of my life.Copy !req
1012. - What?
- Hi Harry.Copy !req
1013. I've just received your test results...Copy !req
1014. and guess what...Copy !req
1015. - I made a boo boo.
- A boo boo?Copy !req
1016. Yeah Harry.
You're in the clear.Copy !req
1017. You just got a bad case
of bunny pox.Copy !req
1018. Take two aspirins
and stay in bed for a week.Copy !req
1019. I'll send you my bill.Copy !req
1020. Yippeee!Copy !req
1021. Yippeeee!Copy !req
1022. I'm in the clear everybody!Copy !req
1023. I haven't got it!
I haven't got myxomatosis!Copy !req
1024. I haven't got myx...Copy !req
1025. He wouldn't dare!Copy !req
1026. Oh Christ, he's not!Copy !req
1027. Oh yes he is, boss.Copy !req
1028. - Trevor.
- Yes boss?Copy !req
1029. I want that fudge-packer eliminated.Copy !req
1030. Now put that gun down Heidi.Copy !req
1031. You're not solving anything
by massacring people.Copy !req
1032. My god!Copy !req
1033. Oh god no!Copy !req
1034. Seymour!Copy !req
1035. Seymour!Copy !req
1036. I'm coming!
Seymour!Copy !req
1037. Daddy...Copy !req
1038. Daddy is here!
Seymour!Copy !req
1039. Seymour!Copy !req
1040. Daddy!
Seymour!Copy !req
1041. I don't care what you've done,
Lucille.Copy !req
1042. I love you so very very much...Copy !req
1043. and I want you to marry me.Copy !req
1044. Oh Robert, I love you too!Copy !req
1045. I was never unfaithful,
it was Trevor.Copy !req
1046. He drugged my drink
and tried to ravish me.Copy !req
1047. That dirty rat!Copy !req
1048. Christ!Copy !req
1049. Heidi!Copy !req
1050. Put the gun down!Copy !req
1051. Heidi, for god sake!Copy !req
1052. Heidi, I still love you!Copy !req
1053. Bletch...Copy !req
1054. Kill her, Trevor!Copy !req
1055. It'll be a pleasure, boss.Copy !req
1056. You rotter!Copy !req
1057. Shit!Copy !req
1058. Miss Heidi,
I know you're a real star...Copy !req
1059. but I'm afraid I'm going to
have to dob you in.Copy !req
1060. Could you do
one last thing for me, Arthur?Copy !req
1061. Anything, Miss Heidi.Copy !req
1062. Play "The Garden of Love"Copy !req