1. I got a star on my car
and one on my chestCopy !req
2. A gun on my hip and the right to arrestCopy !req
3. I'm a guy who's the boss on this highwayCopy !req
4. So watch out what you're doin'
when you're drivin' my wayCopy !req
5. if you break the law
you'll hear from me, I knowCopy !req
6. I'm workin' for the state
I'm the highway patrolCopy !req
7. Well, you'll know me when you see me
'cause my door's painted whiteCopy !req
8. My siren a-screamin'
and my flashin' red lightCopy !req
9. I work all day and I work all nightCopy !req
10. Just to keep the law and order
tryin' to do what's rightCopy !req
11. if I write you out a ticket
then you'd better drive slowCopy !req
12. I'm just a-doin' my job
I'm the highway patrolCopy !req
13. I'm the highway patrol
the highway patrolCopy !req
14. My hours are long and my pay is lowCopy !req
15. But I'll do my best
to keep you drivin' slowCopy !req
16. I'm just a-doin' my job
I'm the highway patrolCopy !req
17. Meet Charlie.
Helpful dad, upstanding citizen,Copy !req
18. and an 18-year veteran of the greatest
law enforcement agency in the land:Copy !req
19. the Rhode lsland State Police.Copy !req
20. That's Charlie's home.
Modest, like the man.Copy !req
21. Even though he lived on the water,
Charlie wasn't much of a swimmer,Copy !req
22. which will come into play
a little later in our story.Copy !req
23. But I'm getting way ahead of myself.Copy !req
24. You know, maybe it's best if we just
go back and begin at the beginning.Copy !req
25. As a young man,
Charlie had the world by its bootstraps.Copy !req
26. He was the best young trooper
on the force,Copy !req
27. and was dating
the prettiest and smartest gal in town.Copy !req
28. Her name was Layla . . .
Just like the melody.Copy !req
29. Charlie,Copy !req
30. you've no idea how much I love you.Copy !req
31. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
32. Well, will you stay with me
no matter what?Copy !req
33. Of course, Charlie.Copy !req
34. What if I had to move to the Arctic
and you could never come homeCopy !req
35. and had to eat whale blubber for the rest
of your life? Would you still stay with me?Copy !req
36. Yeah, I'd stay.Copy !req
37. But I hope that never happens.Copy !req
38. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
39. Well, by springtime
they had made it official.Copy !req
40. Boy, let me tell you,
that was some wedding.Copy !req
41. It was presided over
by Father Ken Gumbert,Copy !req
42. and half of the Rhode lsland
State Police Force was in attendance.Copy !req
43. - Congratulations, Charlie.
- Thank you, Captain.Copy !req
44. All right!Copy !req
45. Look what I got!Copy !req
46. Here you go.Copy !req
47. Excuse me, do you people take checks?Copy !req
48. Say that again. Do "we people"
take checks? You mean a black man?Copy !req
49. No, no, no, no! God, no. Your company.Copy !req
50. Don't give me that bullshit!
That was a racist slur.Copy !req
51. - No, it wasn't. I would never . . .
- Tell you what, I'll make it easy for you.Copy !req
52. Why don't you just pay me in cotton
or a cartload of watermelons?Copy !req
53. Or how's about some fried chicken, 'cause
you know black people love fried chicken!Copy !req
54. - Hey, no, come on now.
- What's going on?Copy !req
55. This cat don't believe a nigger knows how
to cash a check! Ain't that 'bout a bitch?Copy !req
56. Charlie, I don't wanna ever hear you
use the n-word in this house.Copy !req
57. What!
I never said anything remotely racist!Copy !req
58. - Oh, so it's a "little people" thing, then.
- No!Copy !req
59. You think just 'cause I'm small you can
push me around? Come on, let's boogie.Copy !req
60. I'm gonna give you a little lesson
in low center of gravity.Copy !req
61. Stop it! Cut it . . . Stop it now. Sir!Copy !req
62. Don't patronize me with that "Sir" crap!Copy !req
63. Hey, those are illegal. Stop.Copy !req
64. Oh, it's on now. It's on!Copy !req
65. - Charlie, don't hit him!
- Me?Copy !req
66. Charlie! Stop it! Charlie, stop it!Copy !req
67. Let me handle this. Stop it!Copy !req
68. Excuse me, Mr. Jackson . . .Copy !req
69. Stop it! Wait. What is your first name?Copy !req
70. It's Shonté.Copy !req
71. Shonté, I am so, so sorry. I apologize.Copy !req
72. Come on here.
Let me walk you to your car.Copy !req
73. I have no patience for people
who judge books by their cover.Copy !req
74. And you shouldn't have to!Copy !req
75. Treating me like a dumbshit!
I mean, who does he think he's talking to?Copy !req
76. I'm a professor of molecular genetics
at Brown.Copy !req
77. And I'm head
of the Boston chapter of Mensa.Copy !req
78. - You're kidding?
- No.Copy !req
79. I'm just driving this limo
as a sociological experiment. That's it.Copy !req
80. But Mensa?
I'm president of the Providence chapter.Copy !req
81. No kidding.Copy !req
82. Just when Charlie thought
life couldn't get any sweeter,Copy !req
83. old Mr. Stork dropped in
to pay him and Layla a visit.Copy !req
84. It's a boy!Copy !req
85. Oh boy, oy, oy.Copy !req
86. Wow!Copy !req
87. He's so . . .Copy !req
88. Wow!Copy !req
89. Whoa, you're in luck!Copy !req
90. He's got company!Copy !req
91. Push! Push!Copy !req
92. Charlie loved those boys so much,
he just couldn't face the truth.Copy !req
93. And so he went on with his life
as if everything was normal.Copy !req
94. Hey, Finneran.Copy !req
95. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
96. - Hope you brought your appetite with you.
- Oh, I did.Copy !req
97. - Charlie, your kids look great.
- Yeah, don't they? Thanks.Copy !req
98. Charlie,Copy !req
99. just between you and me,Copy !req
100. d'you ever notice
that your kids have a year-round tan?Copy !req
101. Yeah, well . . .Copy !req
102. - My great-grandmother's half-ltalian.
- Half-ltalian?Copy !req
103. Well, that's probably why
the water beads off the hair, huh?Copy !req
104. Yeah, so? I mean, a lot of people
have different kind of hair.Copy !req
105. What are you getting at?Copy !req
106. Well, no, I'm just saying it's . . .Copy !req
107. Come on, goddamn it! Those kids' dicks
are bigger than them sausages!Copy !req
108. Knock it off!
You're talking about my children.Copy !req
109. - Since you brought it up, I wanna ask . . .
- Finneran!Copy !req
110. Get over here. It's your turn.Copy !req
111. Charlie . . .Copy !req
112. Don't mind me.
It's just the beer talking, you know?Copy !req
113. Sure.Copy !req
114. There's something powerful
bubbling up inside me, Father.Copy !req
115. And I'm afraid that some day,Copy !req
116. if I don't do something, I'm gonna explode.Copy !req
117. Where does this rage come from, my son?Copy !req
118. I don't know. It's a lot of things, really.Copy !req
119. Take my wife, for example.Copy !req
120. I love her like no other, but . . .Copy !req
121. Part of me suspects
that she may be having an affeir.Copy !req
122. And I'm probably
just being paranoid here, but . . .Copy !req
123. I get the feeling that the entire town
is laughing at me behind my back.Copy !req
124. Charlie, that you?Copy !req
125. Eventually,
Charlie's worst fears were realized.Copy !req
126. I'm so sorry, Charlie.Copy !req
127. Really, I am.Copy !req
128. But I have to do this.Copy !req
129. I found my soul mate.Copy !req
130. But . . .Copy !req
131. I thought I was your soul mate.Copy !req
132. Come on, legs! Let's roll, baby.Copy !req
133. I don't know what to say.Copy !req
134. I guess the heart just wants
what the heart wants.Copy !req
135. Bye, Charlie.Copy !req
136. But you said you'd eat whale blubber.Copy !req
137. She'll be eating blubber all right,
just as soon as I free willy.Copy !req
138. It's funny how a man reacts
when his heart gets broken.Copy !req
139. Some break down and cry like a baby.Copy !req
140. Others, they take out an Uzi
and climb a clock tower.Copy !req
141. But Charlie Baileygates
didn't seem to react at all.Copy !req
142. He just swallowed hard, felt that slab of
heartache slide over the lump in his throatCopy !req
143. and he locked it all away.Copy !req
144. As you can imagine,Copy !req
145. it wasn't easy for little Jamaal,
Lee Harvey and Shonté JuniorCopy !req
146. growing up without a mom.Copy !req
147. But Charlie made that little house
into a big old home,Copy !req
148. and the boys flourished.Copy !req
149. Let me tell you, they were smart ones.Copy !req
150. - What are you building, fellas?
- An airplane, Daddy.Copy !req
151. Bye-bye!Copy !req
152. Bye, Daddy! Have a good time at work.Copy !req
153. Love you, Daddy!Copy !req
154. No! Hey, stop it!Copy !req
155. Get . . . Jamaal, you're in a lot of trouble!Copy !req
156. Get off that! Don't you take off in that!Copy !req
157. How many seas must a white . . .Copy !req
158. Shonté Junior, how can you keep
eating that crap and never gain weight?Copy !req
159. I don't know. Just lucky, I guess.Copy !req
160. - How many times must the cannonballs . . .
- Do you believe his voice?Copy !req
161. - That's Gomer Pyle!
- Before they're forever banned?Copy !req
162. Daddy, can we watch Richard Pryor
on HBO?Copy !req
163. Richard Pryor?Copy !req
164. Please.Copy !req
165. Okay.Copy !req
166. In Africa, though, I go out in the country.Copy !req
167. You see some lions and shit.
I'm talkin' about real lions.Copy !req
168. Not them kind
you be fuckin' with in the zoo.Copy !req
169. You know how you go fuck with a lion?
"Hey, lion! Motherfucker!"Copy !req
170. Be throwin' shit at it. Lion'd be "Oh, ooh."Copy !req
171. As they have a way of doing,
the years passed somewhat regularly.Copy !req
172. And the boys, well,
they came into their own.Copy !req
173. . . . toss my salad!Copy !req
174. The guy's like "Toss my salad?
What's that?"Copy !req
175. Having your salad tossed means having
your asshole eaten out with jelly or syrup.Copy !req
176. I prefer syrup.Copy !req
177. He's a funny motherfucker!Copy !req
178. Although Charlie's police work had started
to suffer, the kids were doing great.Copy !req
179. Damn! I can't figure out the atomic mass
of this motherfuckin' deuteron.Copy !req
180. Shit. Man, that shit's simple. Lookit.Copy !req
181. - Tell me this, tell me this.
- What?Copy !req
182. What's a deuteron made up of?Copy !req
183. Duh! A proton and a neutron.Copy !req
184. Then what's this motherfuckin' electron
doin' right there?Copy !req
185. - Shit, I don't know.
- Well, get it out of there then!Copy !req
186. OK, so you're sayin'
I add up the atomic massesCopy !req
187. of the proton and the neutron, right?Copy !req
188. I sees that, but what do I do with
the goddamn electron? Can I put it here?Copy !req
189. Enrico Fermi'd roll over in his
motherfuckin' grave if he heard that.Copy !req
190. He'd just turn over ass up in yo' face.Copy !req
191. Man, Jamaal.
Just cut my man some slack.Copy !req
192. I'm just trying to help him save face.Copy !req
193. He keep askin' questions,
they'll think he's stupid.Copy !req
194. - I ain't stupid.
- Mornin' , fellas.Copy !req
195. Hey, Pops, how you doin' , man?Copy !req
196. - What's all the commotion?
- Oh, just school shit and shit.Copy !req
197. - How's my little guy doing?
- Struggling.Copy !req
198. Quantum physics is confusing. If I don't
buckle down, I'll get myself another B+ .Copy !req
199. Oh, that'd be whack.Copy !req
200. He's so fucking dumb,
he thinks calculus is a goddamn emperor.Copy !req
201. Give it up, dawg.Copy !req
202. Well, you think polypeptide's
a motherfuckin' toothpaste.Copy !req
203. Oh, I gotta get out of here.
I don't wanna have to bust a cap.Copy !req
204. Kisses.Copy !req
205. Daddy.Copy !req
206. - See ya later.
- Love ya.Copy !req
207. Yeah, Charlie was getting
a lot of respect inside the house.Copy !req
208. But outside . . .
Well, that was another story.Copy !req
209. Mornin' , Ed.Copy !req
210. Charlie.Copy !req
211. Ed, did you see
where my paper went today?Copy !req
212. The wife's got it in the shitter.Copy !req
213. Well, could you tell her to throw it
on the porch when she's done?Copy !req
214. Can't you get one at work?Copy !req
215. Yeah . . .Copy !req
216. I suppose I could.Copy !req
217. You betcha.Copy !req
218. I'd like thatCopy !req
219. if we could cycle down some laneCopy !req
220. I'd like thatCopy !req
221. if we could ride into the rainCopy !req
222. No macs, getting wetCopy !req
223. I'd be your AlbertCopy !req
224. if you'd be VictoriaCopy !req
225. Ha-ha, we'd laugh
because each drop would make meCopy !req
226. Grow up really high, really highCopy !req
227. Like a really high thing, say a sunflower . . .Copy !req
228. - Hey, George, Herb.
- Hi, Charlie.Copy !req
229. - How do, fellas?
- Hi, Charlie.Copy !req
230. - Listen, Dick . . .
- Hey, guys, check out the rack on this one!Copy !req
231. Oh, yeah! That's what Daddy likes.Copy !req
232. It looks like a dead heat in a zeppelin race.Copy !req
233. - A couple of Hindenburgs, huh?
- Oh, the humanity!Copy !req
234. Come on, guys, take it easy. She's a mom.Copy !req
235. "She's a mom!"Copy !req
236. - She's a mom. Not my mom.
- She's a yummy mummy!Copy !req
237. You kill me!Copy !req
238. Sure, that is good.Copy !req
239. Listen, Dick,
I'm sorry to bother you like this but . . .Copy !req
240. Your car is gonna have to be moved.Copy !req
241. Yeah, sure, Charlie. OK. I should be
done here in another 10 or 15 minutes.Copy !req
242. I hate to be a stickler, Dick, but . . .Copy !req
243. The law says you can't park in one place
for over an hour,Copy !req
244. and you've been there for . . .Copy !req
245. Going on three days now.Copy !req
246. All right, all right. The law's the law.Copy !req
247. Park it up behind the grocery store,
will ya, Charlie?Copy !req
248. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
249. This one?Copy !req
250. There's an old saying: an ostrich with
his head in the sand makes a lousy cop.Copy !req
251. You see, if you can't deal
with your own problems,Copy !req
252. well, it's hard to deal with others.Copy !req
253. Sweetie? That's kinda dangerous.Copy !req
254. Wanna move it on to the sidewalk,
away from traffic?Copy !req
255. My dad says you're a joke
and I don't have to listen to you.Copy !req
256. Well, your father is entitled to his opinion.Copy !req
257. But I am an officer of the law,
and, by all rights, I could...Copy !req
258. Fuck off!Copy !req
259. You should watch your mouth, little girl.Copy !req
260. Excuse me. Charlie!Copy !req
261. Hey! You mind if I get ahead of you?
I'm in a wicked rush.Copy !req
262. - Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead.
- You're a doll.Copy !req
263. Hey, kids! Over here! Now!Copy !req
264. Didn't I tell you to stay with me?Copy !req
265. We're gonna rock youCopy !req
266. VagiClean, huh?Copy !req
267. What's the matter, honey?
Little extra cheese on the taco?Copy !req
268. - Excuse me?
- No, excuse me.Copy !req
269. There's no tag on this.Copy !req
270. Price check on VagiClean, aisle five.Copy !req
271. I repeat: price check on VagiClean,
aisle five.Copy !req
272. That's VagiClean.Copy !req
273. We got a customer with a fallopian fungus.Copy !req
274. She's baking bread
and I think it's sourdough.Copy !req
275. Put a rush on that.Copy !req
276. Hey, big guy. Did you hear the news?Copy !req
277. My son Billy
got the lead in the high-school musical.Copy !req
278. Well, I guess he likes the cock after all.Copy !req
279. - Still wanna skip rope in the street?
- I'll tell my daddy, Charlie!Copy !req
280. Wrong answer.
And the name's Hank, fuckface.Copy !req
281. Reciting memorized linesCopy !req
282. And I'm not fit to touchCopy !req
283. The hem of your garmentCopy !req
284. No, no, I'm not fit to touchCopy !req
285. The hem of your garmentCopy !req
286. I have no love but only goalsCopy !req
287. How very empty is my soulCopy !req
288. It is a soul that could easily killCopy !req
289. And I'm not fit to touch . . .Copy !req
290. There you go, Dick. I parked it for you.Copy !req
291. By the way,Copy !req
292. you got a headlight out.Copy !req
293. That looks good.Copy !req
294. - There you go, Colonel.
- Very good, Malcolm. Thank you.Copy !req
295. Colonel, something's wrong with Charlie.Copy !req
296. - 1 -X to 1 -12.
- 1 -12 responding.Copy !req
297. Of course, there's not much
about this sort of thingCopy !req
298. in the Rhode lsland State Police manual.Copy !req
299. So they sent him up to Boston to see
a team of highly trained head doctors.Copy !req
300. They quickly identified the problem.Copy !req
301. You got a major screw loose.Copy !req
302. Doctors have diagnosed you
as having a "split personality."Copy !req
303. A schizo.Copy !req
304. - I don't remember this.
- That's because, according to that report,Copy !req
305. it wasn't you that this was happening to.
It was this other guy.Copy !req
306. Hank.Copy !req
307. - Said his name was Hank.
- And apparently Hank is trying to get out.Copy !req
308. Trying to get out?
What do you mean "get out"?Copy !req
309. - How did he get in?
- You created him.Copy !req
310. By not dealing
with your problems, Charlie.Copy !req
311. Ever since . . .Copy !req
312. Well, you know.
You've been avoiding confrontation.Copy !req
313. - But this guy inside.
- Hank.Copy !req
314. He doesn't. Doctors feel that you've
created this character out of necessity.Copy !req
315. You never stick up for yourself.Copy !req
316. Charlie, why didn't you take a vacation
when Layla left?Copy !req
317. Why would l?Copy !req
318. You know, wives leave their husbands
every day in this country.Copy !req
319. That's no reason
to short-change the department.Copy !req
320. I mean, it's not like I had the flu . . .Copy !req
321. Have you picked up your medication?Copy !req
322. I'm really not crazy about it, though.
It makes me so dry.Copy !req
323. You have to take it anyway.Copy !req
324. Dr. Rabinowitz assures us,
if you do, everything'll be fine.Copy !req
325. This is a bunch of crap!Copy !req
326. No wonder you're the smallest state.
Little mind, little state.Copy !req
327. Shouldn't even be a state.
Should be a district.Copy !req
328. Can you take these goddamn things off?Copy !req
329. And could you stop lookin' at my ass!Copy !req
330. Pritchard, what's going on here?Copy !req
331. Well, Colonel, her name's Waters, lrene P.Copy !req
332. I pulled her over on 95
for a broken tail light.Copy !req
333. I ran a check. She's got
an outstanding warrant in New York.Copy !req
334. - Hit and run?
- Hit and run.Copy !req
335. lnjured pedestrian signed the complaint.Copy !req
336. Well, I think I might remember that.
That is ridiculous.Copy !req
337. I've never been in an accident.
Not in my whole life.Copy !req
338. Well, I've just gotten off the phone
with the New York State Patrol.Copy !req
339. They don't seem to think it's so ridiculous.Copy !req
340. - Look . . . How can we fix . . .
- Were you in Massena last Friday?Copy !req
341. Well, yeah, I live there.
But I didn't have any accident.Copy !req
342. I'm just driving down to Block lsland
to see my sister.Copy !req
343. You seem like a nice guy.
ls there any way that you might let meCopy !req
344. handle this by mail or . . .Copy !req
345. Unfortunately, Miss Waters,
I'm not the one you have to convince.Copy !req
346. if there's been a mistake,
you have to clear it up in Massena.Copy !req
347. What?
Because of somebody else's mistake,Copy !req
348. I have to get in my car and drive
all the way back to upstate New York?Copy !req
349. No, ma'am.Copy !req
350. We'll have one of our troopers escort you.Copy !req
351. Hey, Hollywood,
turn your fuckin' phone off.Copy !req
352. - Yeah?
- You're an asshole.Copy !req
353. Oh, hello, lrene. What'd I do now?Copy !req
354. Listen, I'm at a police station
in Rhode lsland.Copy !req
355. They're shipping me back to Massena
on some bogus crap.Copy !req
356. - Sound familiar?
- I don't have a clueCopy !req
357. - what you're talkin' about.
- Dickie!Copy !req
358. Cut the bullshit!Copy !req
359. Listen to me, OK?Copy !req
360. It's over, Dickie. It's over.Copy !req
361. So please just stop messing with meCopy !req
362. and call your friends
and tell them to back off, OK?Copy !req
363. Look, I'm being a straight shooter.Copy !req
364. if you need help, I'll help you.Copy !req
365. Just give me all the details
and I'll get to the bottom of it.Copy !req
366. Massena, New York!
Goddamn, Daddy! That's near Canada!Copy !req
367. I know, I know. Wasn't my idea.Copy !req
368. I gotta take this gal up north,Copy !req
369. and then the colonel ordered me
to take a week's vacation.Copy !req
370. A week's a long motherfuckin' time.Copy !req
371. He wants me to rest
while I'm getting used to the medication.Copy !req
372. Oh, come on. You don't have to worry
about us, Daddy. We're grown up now.Copy !req
373. These two can do the shopping.
I'll do the cooking.Copy !req
374. You do the cooking? Man, you thought you
got chipped beef from a toothy blow job!Copy !req
375. You're gonna have Shonté Junior
down or under goddamn 400lb. Fuck that.Copy !req
376. Can't have that happen. OK, guys.Copy !req
377. I'm not leaving till the morning, but you
know the rules: no bitches after eleven.Copy !req
378. - All right, Pops.
- Yeah, man.Copy !req
379. - Got you, Papa.
- Love you, Daddy!Copy !req
380. So who the hell's
this lrene honey anyway?Copy !req
381. She worked for me the past two years.Copy !req
382. I hired her to be my golf-course
superintendent. We got close.Copy !req
383. No, you got stupid!Copy !req
384. For the love of shit, these are
the loose ends that can hang you, Dickie!Copy !req
385. And me too!Copy !req
386. How much does she know?Copy !req
387. She might have gotten wind
of some things.Copy !req
388. Yeah, well, we're gonna find out.Copy !req
389. The complaint was signed
by a guy named Peterson.Copy !req
390. - He's with the EPA.
- EPA? I thought they were in our pocket.Copy !req
391. Well, not all of 'em.Copy !req
392. Even though Charlie didn't
wholeheartedly agree with the top brass,Copy !req
393. he did as he was told.Copy !req
394. - Careful on the road, Charlie.
- OK, Colonel.Copy !req
395. - Hang on, ma'am.
- Yeah.Copy !req
396. This vacation is just what Charlie needs.Copy !req
397. I bet he's a new man when he gets back.Copy !req
398. if we let him back.Copy !req
399. What do you mean?Copy !req
400. Well, I mean that
he's become a pretty big liability.Copy !req
401. We may have to let him go.Copy !req
402. Let him go? But, Captain,
police work is Charlie's whole li . . .Copy !req
403. I know, I know, damn it.Copy !req
404. I know.Copy !req
405. I found you sittin' on a suitcase cryin' . . .Copy !req
406. It's a great time of year to ride, as long as
you don't mind one or two bugs.Copy !req
407. I laugh out loud 'cause it's the one thing
I hadn't been tryin'Copy !req
408. The train came in breathlessCopy !req
409. The passengers restlessCopy !req
410. He said "Baby, you'll never change"Copy !req
411. You gotta get goin' , you gotta keep goin'Copy !req
412. Hey, the world ain't slowin' downCopy !req
413. For no oneCopy !req
414. It's a carnival callin' out to youCopy !req
415. It sounds like a song
It hits you like Scripture . . .Copy !req
416. Boy, you can't beat the open road!Copy !req
417. Weren't you the kid
who just climbed on the merry-go-round?Copy !req
418. Hey, look, the world ain't slowin' downCopy !req
419. Oh, no.Copy !req
420. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
421. Jeez.Copy !req
422. Those damn truckers.Copy !req
423. You know, you think they'd call someone
to come clean this up.Copy !req
424. Poor thing. That's terrible.Copy !req
425. By the looks of her,
she's been here for a while.Copy !req
426. Well, I doubt we're gonna be able
to move her, but we should try.Copy !req
427. You wanna get that end? Give it a push?Copy !req
428. - Really?
- Yeah, we should give it a shot.Copy !req
429. - OK?
- OK.Copy !req
430. Go ahead. Just push as hard as you can.Copy !req
431. Yeah, OK.Copy !req
432. Jesus! Holy . . .Copy !req
433. - OK . . .
- It's still alive!Copy !req
434. - Just stand back. I'll take care of it.
- Oh, God! That's terrible.Copy !req
435. Now, don't look, OK?Copy !req
436. Well, old girl.Copy !req
437. Your suffering's over.Copy !req
438. Oh, it ain't always easy
doing Mother Nature's work.Copy !req
439. - Do you believe that?
- No, it's . . .Copy !req
440. My God in heaven!Copy !req
441. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
442. Die!Copy !req
443. Let go! Let go, girl!Copy !req
444. On to greener pastures, come on. They're
clear-cutting a place in heaven for ya.Copy !req
445. Come on! Help me out!Copy !req
446. - But . . .
- Do something!Copy !req
447. - I don't . . .
- Let go!Copy !req
448. Let go! Go!Copy !req
449. Well,Copy !req
450. that was tough, but . . .Copy !req
451. I think we did the right thing.Copy !req
452. Patrol car, yes. OK, thank you.Copy !req
453. - Can I help you?
- Baileygates, Rhode lsland State Police.Copy !req
454. I have your prisoner,
Miss lrene Waters, here.Copy !req
455. - All right. I'll tell them you're here.
- Okay-dee, ray-dee.Copy !req
456. What are those for?Copy !req
457. Oh, it's just this stupid thing.Copy !req
458. I have to take a pill every six hours
or I feel funny. No big deal.Copy !req
459. What's it called?Copy !req
460. Advanced delusionary schizophrenia
with involuntary narcissistic rage.Copy !req
461. Does your ass feel numb?Copy !req
462. No, but . . .Copy !req
463. They give me unbelievable cottonmouth.Copy !req
464. - I meant from the ride.
- Oh. No, no.Copy !req
465. Over the years
my ass has taken a pounding.Copy !req
466. My name's Peterson.
This is my partner, Agent Boshane.Copy !req
467. We're with the Environmental Protection
Agency's Special lnvestigations.Copy !req
468. The EPA?Copy !req
469. What'd I hit? A baldheaded eagle?Copy !req
470. We'll explain that to you, ma'am, but right
now we're gonna ask you to come with us.Copy !req
471. Well, why don't you just
explain it to me now?Copy !req
472. We put your hit-and-run report out
on the wire in order to track you down.Copy !req
473. Track me down for what?Copy !req
474. Agent Boshane?Copy !req
475. I want to remind you again,
our station's at your disposal.Copy !req
476. You're welcome to use
our interrogation rooms.Copy !req
477. We appreciate it, Lieutenant Gerke,
but we're all set.Copy !req
478. Right. Well, if there's anything at all l . . .Copy !req
479. Excuse me.Copy !req
480. I'm just gonna . . .Copy !req
481. Get myself a drink of water.Copy !req
482. So, if I could just get someone
to sign this, I'll be on my way.Copy !req
483. Yeah.Copy !req
484. Well, Miss Waters, good luck.
I hope everything works out great for you.Copy !req
485. Thanks a lot, Charlie.Copy !req
486. I haven't done anything wrong
and you know it.Copy !req
487. What about the marijuana roaches you left
when you moved out of your apartment?Copy !req
488. So I smoked some pot.
What is that, a crime?Copy !req
489. As is being an accessory
to bribery, embezzlement,Copy !req
490. - tax evasion and racketeering.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
491. Does the name Dickie Thurman ring a bell?Copy !req
492. His company, Cedar Creek Limited, has
been under investigation for 18 months.Copy !req
493. How does that make me an accessory?
I laid sod on Dickie's golf course. So what?Copy !req
494. Tell me this. A big operation
like the Cedar Creek Country Club.Copy !req
495. How'd you become
the head greenskeeper?Copy !req
496. By default.Copy !req
497. This guy, Tedeschi or Tedesco,
he was hired before me, but he died.Copy !req
498. Heart problem or something.Copy !req
499. The feds believed that lrene
knew more than she thought she knew,Copy !req
500. and her life was in danger.Copy !req
501. They explained that everything
had been happening under her nose.Copy !req
502. Payoffs of government agencies,
threats to those who stood in the way.Copy !req
503. And her predecessor's heart attack?
Well, that was just cold-blooded murder.Copy !req
504. Oh, man!Copy !req
505. Can you excuse me?Copy !req
506. Pizza kid.Copy !req
507. - How much?
- That comes to $13.95.Copy !req
508. Son of a bitch!Copy !req
509. It was a good thing Charlie had told herCopy !req
510. he was staying at the Chuck E. Cheese
Lodge and Miniature Golf Resort.Copy !req
511. Charlie?Copy !req
512. lrene finagled the key from the front desk
and let herself in.Copy !req
513. Charlie!Copy !req
514. Charlie, what's going on here?Copy !req
515. lrene?Copy !req
516. lrene, I was just . . .
I was gonna study your fileCopy !req
517. and try to find a loophole.Copy !req
518. Did your lips get as chapped as mine
on the ride down?Copy !req
519. Never mind. I need your help.Copy !req
520. There was a shootout at the thing.
The agents are dead!Copy !req
521. - Dead?
- Yeah. They were after me, Charlie!Copy !req
522. Oh, God. This is Dickie's work. I know it!Copy !req
523. So what are you gonna do?Copy !req
524. - We'll call the police.
- What? No, you can't do that!Copy !req
525. Dickie has those guys in his back pocket.
That's why I came to you.Copy !req
526. Hey! This is serious shit!Copy !req
527. You don't . . .Copy !req
528. - I'm outta here.
- Hey, wait! No, don't do that!Copy !req
529. Come on, hold on.
Just let me think for a second. OK?Copy !req
530. Think someplace else.
This is the first place they're gonna look.Copy !req
531. Damn it!Copy !req
532. So where are we going anyway?Copy !req
533. You'll see.Copy !req
534. Well, they went on the lam for a bit, and
then Charlie made a couple of phone calls.Copy !req
535. Take it easy now.Copy !req
536. - Charlie!
- Don't worry. I'll take care of it.Copy !req
537. Hey.Copy !req
538. - Good work, Baileygates.
- Thanks.Copy !req
539. Sorry I had to meet you
all the way out here.Copy !req
540. - That's OK.
- It's just as well. Poor gal's paranoid.Copy !req
541. My kids are like that. They have this idea
that the cops are the bad guys . . .Copy !req
542. Listen, I don't know what's going on
and I didn't tell the feds anything . . .Copy !req
543. Dickie told me you were street-smart.Copy !req
544. Why the hell would you run to this idiot?Copy !req
545. Drop the gun, moron.Copy !req
546. You're being video-taped.Copy !req
547. - What're you talking about?
- There's a camera on my bike.Copy !req
548. Hard to hit a moving target, isn't it?Copy !req
549. Score. Good move.Copy !req
550. Get in the car.Copy !req
551. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
552. D'you mind telling me
what you were thinking?Copy !req
553. Calling that cop was unbelievably stupid!Copy !req
554. Tweak the high end
on your emotional EQ, sweetbeak.Copy !req
555. The funky chicken was Charlie's dance.Copy !req
556. I'm a tango man myself.Copy !req
557. As you can imagine,
there was some explaining to do.Copy !req
558. So Hank, as he called himself,Copy !req
559. found a quiet spot
and spelled out the whole darn mess.Copy !req
560. OK, so what you're saying
is that you're not Charlie.Copy !req
561. You've seen Charlie in action.
He's like origami: folds under pressure.Copy !req
562. When the big game's on the line,
he's busy riding the pine.Copy !req
563. OK, wait. Can you just . . .Copy !req
564. It's simple.Copy !req
565. Charlie's the mouse
that got you into the maze.Copy !req
566. I'm the rat who can find the cheese.Copy !req
567. The name's Hank. Hank Evans . . .Copy !req
568. For little girlsCopy !req
569. So it's true. Charlie is a schizo.Copy !req
570. I wouldn't know. I stay out of his business,
he stays out of mine.Copy !req
571. Look.Copy !req
572. Just because I rock
doesn't mean I'm made of stone.Copy !req
573. I feel your fear. It's coming through
like static on my heart radio.Copy !req
574. Hank? Hank.Copy !req
575. I really, really appreciate your help,Copy !req
576. but is there any way that maybe we could
get Charlie back out hereCopy !req
577. for a little huddle?Copy !req
578. No problem.Copy !req
579. While you're at it, why not climb that pole
and take a piss on the power lines?Copy !req
580. Look, I'm not here to twist your niblets.Copy !req
581. I'm here to save your life, but if I'm gonna
do that, I'll need total uninononynymity.Copy !req
582. OK.Copy !req
583. Sound good, candypants?Copy !req
584. Hank, don't call me that.Copy !req
585. How the hell can they call Pluto a planet?Copy !req
586. What motherfuckin' planet has
an elliptical orbit?Copy !req
587. - This shit don't make sense.
- Motherfucker!Copy !req
588. That motherfucker Vince Foster was
murdered. I told you that shit!Copy !req
589. Hey, man, quit hackin' into
them goddamn Pentagon files.Copy !req
590. Ain't no nevermind who them crooked
politicians be killin' . You need to study.Copy !req
591. - What did Daddy tell you about snoopin'?
- Shit, yeah.Copy !req
592. if you keep fuckin' around,
you'll lose your Yale scholarship.Copy !req
593. Be stuck up there at Stanford with
them goddamn motherfuckers.Copy !req
594. Motherfucker, you be lucky
to get accepted to Duke,Copy !req
595. gettin' a 1430 on yo' SAT.Copy !req
596. - Motherfucker, you know I had the flu.
- Flu, my ass!Copy !req
597. You had a motherfuckin' aneurysm
to get a 1430.Copy !req
598. Hey, you talkin' some shit now.Copy !req
599. That's probably one of them
lvy League sons of bitches now.Copy !req
600. Show me yo' ass head up
and get the door, man.Copy !req
601. Hey, Captain.Copy !req
602. - Fellas.
- What the fuck is goin' on, man?Copy !req
603. - This is Agent Annicelli.
- Gentlemen.Copy !req
604. - What's happenin'?
- We've got a problem.Copy !req
605. Pack your bags.Copy !req
606. - We're locked and loaded.
- Great.Copy !req
607. Got enough stuff
to hold us over for 72 hours.Copy !req
608. Well, fuck my ozone.Copy !req
609. We're gonna rock youCopy !req
610. Hey, ringworm.Copy !req
611. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you,
you toxic waste of life.Copy !req
612. You gonna pick up that butt?Copy !req
613. Or do I have to glue it to my shoe
and stick it in your pimply a-hole?Copy !req
614. Hey, man. Take it easy.
It's just a cigarette.Copy !req
615. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
616. Well, this is just a fist, but when I throw it
around, it can leave one hell of a mess.Copy !req
617. Let's dance.Copy !req
618. Let's kick the shit out of
this crazy asshole!Copy !req
619. Wait, he's a schizo!Copy !req
620. What the hell's wrong with him?Copy !req
621. What happened anyway?Copy !req
622. Yeah, Charlie was taking a few lumps
on account of Hank's behavior.Copy !req
623. But, save for a little blood in the urine,
he was no worse for the wear.Copy !req
624. I'm sorry you had to meet Hank,
Miss Waters.Copy !req
625. I thought I was bad.Copy !req
626. That guy has some serious problems.Copy !req
627. He did save our lives.Copy !req
628. Anyway, Hank had a good idea.
He thinks . . .Copy !req
629. You're gonna listen to Hank?Copy !req
630. Come on, look what he did to me!
What are you thinking? He's out of control.Copy !req
631. You know what we should do?Copy !req
632. Find another department
and tell them the whole story.Copy !req
633. Not smart, Charlie. We don't know how far
Dickie's reach goes.Copy !req
634. Then you know what?Copy !req
635. I think it's time to call the best damn
law enforcement agency in the country.Copy !req
636. The Rhode lsland State Troopers!Copy !req
637. Do you really thinkCopy !req
638. that the feds don't have some guy
up there right now, bugging calls?Copy !req
639. They'd be on us in 10 minutes. And they
almost got me killed in the first place.Copy !req
640. OK.Copy !req
641. What was the genius's big plan?Copy !req
642. He thinks that we should find a cabin
and hide out for a while.Copy !req
643. Oh, yeah?
What about water and food and . . .Copy !req
644. He already got supplies.
They're in the trunk.Copy !req
645. These are the supplies?Copy !req
646. Well, he had a plan, all right.Copy !req
647. That's it? That's all he got?Copy !req
648. Oh, no. There's more.Copy !req
649. A rope,Copy !req
650. shovel,Copy !req
651. bag of lime and some lawn darts.Copy !req
652. This is Christine DiCarlo live
from Clinton County, New York,Copy !req
653. where the manhunt continues for
Rhode lsland State Trooper Baileygates.Copy !req
654. . . . responsible for the death
of an EPA agentCopy !req
655. and the kidnapping of lrene Waters.Copy !req
656. Bullshit! My daddy ain't killed nobody
and he sure ain't kidnapped no bitch!Copy !req
657. Your dad's sick, mentally.
He's had a breakdown.Copy !req
658. The important thing is we find him
so nobody else gets hurt.Copy !req
659. Nobody's gonna get hurt.Copy !req
660. Our daddy wouldn't
hurt a motherfuckin' fly.Copy !req
661. No, he goes after bigger game.Copy !req
662. We just got a report he put six bullets
into a cow's head.Copy !req
663. Poor thing's lucky to be alive.Copy !req
664. OK, look, let's say he does have a problem,
which he don't.Copy !req
665. He's been takin' pills.Copy !req
666. - He left his pills in the hotel room.
- That's where he left his sanity.Copy !req
667. I've seen it first-hand.
The guy's nuttier than squirrel turds.Copy !req
668. One thing I don't understand, Lieutenant.Copy !req
669. if my daddy's such a scary-ass
motherfucker, why'd you go by yourself?Copy !req
670. Who the fuck are you? Sergeant York
taking on the Germans yourself?Copy !req
671. Your father's a police officer.
He asked me to come alone.Copy !req
672. - How was I to know he's a nutcase?
- He ain't no fuckin' nutcase!Copy !req
673. He may have delusionary schizophrenia
with involuntary narcissistic rage,Copy !req
674. but he is a very gentle person.Copy !req
675. Motherfucker robot! Motherfucker robot!Copy !req
676. What's the fuss?Copy !req
677. Stay away from me, Hank!Copy !req
678. I know what you had planned.
I saw your so-called supplies.Copy !req
679. That.Copy !req
680. I wasn't gonna just ram it home, though.Copy !req
681. I was gonna lube it upCopy !req
682. and ease it in there inch by inch
like a gentleman.Copy !req
683. I was talking about the shovel
and the lime.Copy !req
684. Shovel and lime?Copy !req
685. Thank you.
I haven't laughed like that in a long time.Copy !req
686. What's so funny?Copy !req
687. - We're driving a hot carriage.
- So?Copy !req
688. That stuff belongs to the bad cop.Copy !req
689. You think he was gonna take
our dead bodies down to the station?Copy !req
690. lrene decided they should
go back to Rhode lsland,Copy !req
691. but Hank had an idea first.Copy !req
692. Are you sure about this?Copy !req
693. You kidding? Every oinker east of the
Mississippi will be looking for this sled.Copy !req
694. Safer to go mass transit.Copy !req
695. Ready? On nine.Copy !req
696. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.Copy !req
697. Well, they won't be tracking us in that car.Copy !req
698. - Thanks for the kudos.
- Sure.Copy !req
699. - Glad we're finally on the same page.
- Me, too.Copy !req
700. - You OK?
- Yes, I'm fine.Copy !req
701. Thought you were going over the edge.Copy !req
702. Thank you.Copy !req
703. You know, I think
you're a very special unit.Copy !req
704. That's sweet.Copy !req
705. I hope we can
get to know each other better.Copy !req
706. Yeah. Me too.Copy !req
707. Do you swallow?Copy !req
708. I get it. We'll go slow.Copy !req
709. - Hey!
- Yes?Copy !req
710. You didn't happen
to pick up a wallet on the dash, did you?Copy !req
711. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
712. So what's your tale? Where you from?Copy !req
713. Oh, all over.Copy !req
714. Omnipresence. I like that in a woman.Copy !req
715. I'm originally from Texas.
Middle-class neighborhood.Copy !req
716. But after school
I moved to New York 'cause . . .Copy !req
717. Let me guess.
Everybody said you were easy on the eyes,Copy !req
718. so you tried to become a model.Copy !req
719. But in the Big Apple, they treated you
like the worm, so you became an actress.Copy !req
720. No, but . . .Copy !req
721. But you can't get far without talent,Copy !req
722. and the only bright lights you saw
were the ones inside the fridge.Copy !req
723. So you got a boob job and went
looking for a rich man with a bum tickerCopy !req
724. and waved a white flag
in the face of your own self-loathing.Copy !req
725. - How's my aim?
- I never went to New York City.Copy !req
726. I went to Cornell, then I got my master's
in Turf Management at U-Mass.Copy !req
727. Then I became
a golf-course superintendent.Copy !req
728. - And these are all mine.
- I notice you left out your eating disorder.Copy !req
729. - I don't have an eating disorder.
- Whatever, slim.Copy !req
730. Hands off, Hank.Copy !req
731. Mom!Copy !req
732. That's real nice, Hank.
Way to keep a low profile.Copy !req
733. It's survival at this point.Copy !req
734. Hey, I know how to score some dough.Copy !req
735. - Punch me.
- What?Copy !req
736. - Punch me in the face.
- Why?Copy !req
737. I'll tell the big cheese
I got rolled in the parking lot.Copy !req
738. He'll hush me with some Benjamins.
They don't need that kind of ink.Copy !req
739. Come on, rip my head off.Copy !req
740. - That's really lame, Hank.
- You have a better idea? Come on!Copy !req
741. - It's not gonna work.
- Yes, it is, but you gotta rock me.Copy !req
742. Don't give me a girly
"l don't want to break a fingernail" tap.Copy !req
743. This guy's gotta look at my face and just . . .Copy !req
744. Well, the kick in the chops
didn't work out as planned.Copy !req
745. It just left Charlie a little more roughed up.Copy !req
746. How's the nose feeling?Copy !req
747. Listen to it.Copy !req
748. - I'm really sorry, Charlie.
- I'll get over it.Copy !req
749. I mean, you should be furious.
I just drop-kicked you right in the face.Copy !req
750. Hey, it happens.Copy !req
751. You got a great way
of looking at life, Charlie. You know that?Copy !req
752. That's a gift.Copy !req
753. Yeah, I don't know
if my shrinks would agree.Copy !req
754. They think that's my problem.Copy !req
755. What?Copy !req
756. That I purposely distort my perceptions
to make my reality more palatable.Copy !req
757. Like you only hear what you wanna hear?Copy !req
758. Thanks. I like to keep it short,
especially in the summer.Copy !req
759. How come I couldn't have ended up with
an easy-going guy like you, Charlie? Huh?Copy !req
760. Sometimes I think there's something
about my look that just attracts assholes.Copy !req
761. That's crazy.Copy !req
762. You're a very special girl, lrene.
Look at you.Copy !req
763. You're just so down-to-earth.Copy !req
764. I mean, look at your hair.
It's like you don't give a damn.Copy !req
765. And you let your skin hang out, blemishes
an' all. You're not afraid of your flaws.Copy !req
766. Your face is all pursed up
like you just sucked on a lemon,Copy !req
767. but you pull it off!Copy !req
768. You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?Copy !req
769. - Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
770. Come on!Copy !req
771. - I don't know if I can!
- Yes, you can!Copy !req
772. Humans only use 10% of their potential!Copy !req
773. You gotta reach down
for that little extra something!Copy !req
774. There you go!Copy !req
775. Now you're gettin' it!Copy !req
776. I believe in you!Copy !req
777. Don't you give up on me now!Copy !req
778. Easier than I thought! Come on!Copy !req
779. Go, Charlie. Go! You can do it!Copy !req
780. Come on, Charlie!Copy !req
781. Use more of your potential!Copy !req
782. Come on, Charlie! Go!Copy !req
783. Jump off!Copy !req
784. - What?
- Jump off!Copy !req
785. What?Copy !req
786. Jump off the train!Copy !req
787. lrene?Copy !req
788. Come on. Stop fooling around.Copy !req
789. I started thinking about it. Bad idea.Copy !req
790. Trains are the first place they'll look.Copy !req
791. Oh, come on.Copy !req
792. We checked all the gas and food stops
along the interstate. No sign of 'em.Copy !req
793. lnterstate! ls your old lady happy?Copy !req
794. My old lady?Copy !req
795. Cos if your fuckin' is like your police work,Copy !req
796. you couldn't hit the G spot
on a 12lb pussy.Copy !req
797. Watch yourself.Copy !req
798. - What are you gettin' at?
- Look, Daddy ain't gonna take no roadCopy !req
799. where y'all blind-ass cops is lookin' .Copy !req
800. And, motherfucker, he don't eat fast food.Copy !req
801. OK, I have three dollars.
How much do you have?Copy !req
802. - Six bucks.
- Let me go up and order, so we can go.Copy !req
803. OK. I'll have a chicken breast sandwich.
No skin, dry toast.Copy !req
804. You make me dizzy
running circles in my headCopy !req
805. One of these days I'll chase you downCopy !req
806. Well, look who's going crazy nowCopy !req
807. We're face to face, my friendCopy !req
808. Better get outCopy !req
809. Better get out!Copy !req
810. - What are you starin' at, fucker?
- You know you make me break out . . .Copy !req
811. Wanna start me up?
Just pull the cord, pal.Copy !req
812. I'm due for a seismic event.
You're dancin' on the fault line.Copy !req
813. - Hey, what is your problem, pal?
- I got no beef with you. Just the kid.Copy !req
814. - Hey, stop it!
- He started it.Copy !req
815. I'm so sorry. I apologize.
He suffers from this thing.Copy !req
816. I'm standing right here, four-eyes.Copy !req
817. Oh, poor baby. Has to let his daddy
fight his battles for him, huh?Copy !req
818. He's an ass.Copy !req
819. Pussy.Copy !req
820. How's it hangin' , fellas?Copy !req
821. Hank, I presume.Copy !req
822. - D'you miss me?
- Why don't you get Charlie back?Copy !req
823. Things were finally becoming civilized.Copy !req
824. Pocahontas, you gotta put your ear
to the ground to hear the buffelo.Copy !req
825. I don't know what that means, OK?Copy !req
826. It means either he makes up a battle plan,
or Hank'll take over Fort Charlie for good.Copy !req
827. Did you just refer to yourself
in the fourth person?Copy !req
828. Holy Jesus in heaven! It's a giant Q-Tip.Copy !req
829. Hank!Copy !req
830. What? I'm jokin' .
Bringin' a little sunshine into his life.Copy !req
831. Careful, you'll peel.Copy !req
832. - Do you need to see a menu?
- No, thank you. We've ordered.Copy !req
833. That's it.Copy !req
834. Hold on, cheese tits.Copy !req
835. - Did I miss something?
- Don't give me that shit!Copy !req
836. What you just did to that kid was terrible.Copy !req
837. Didn't you see the look on his face?Copy !req
838. Looked a little pale, that's all.Copy !req
839. He was hurt and offended.Copy !req
840. Well, I disagree, but why speculate?Copy !req
841. - Hey, Milky! iVàmonos!
- Hey, no!Copy !req
842. Come on, Br'er Rabbit. Hop down
the bunny trail. Epa, epa, àndale.Copy !req
843. Listen, were you offended in any way
by our social interaction here?Copy !req
844. Yeah, actually I was.Copy !req
845. What was it? The Q-Tip thing?Copy !req
846. Actually I was pretty much offended
by everything you said, sir.Copy !req
847. Sorry.Copy !req
848. I'm truly sorry.Copy !req
849. You OK?Copy !req
850. You don't know what it was like.Copy !req
851. Spending all those years
trapped behind a wall of politeness.Copy !req
852. Bound and gagged . . .Copy !req
853. In a dark and silent world
where nothing grows but the anger.Copy !req
854. All because some demon he married
laced up her bootsCopy !req
855. and did a Nancy Sinatra on him.Copy !req
856. Charlie had a wife?Copy !req
857. And then some.Copy !req
858. I was a big piece
of the personality pie back then.Copy !req
859. But when she left him,
Charlie went numb . . .Copy !req
860. And I went AWOL.Copy !req
861. Well,Copy !req
862. if you were
such a big part of the personality,Copy !req
863. then she left you too.Copy !req
864. It's true.Copy !req
865. She left us.Copy !req
866. I loved her.Copy !req
867. Why'd she do this?Copy !req
868. I'm not a bad person.Copy !req
869. No, you're not a bad guy.Copy !req
870. No, you're not.Copy !req
871. D'you hear me?Copy !req
872. You're a good person.Copy !req
873. You really think so?Copy !req
874. Yeah, I'm starting to.Copy !req
875. You know what I'm gonna do?Copy !req
876. I'm gonna make it up to Charlie.Copy !req
877. And I'm gonna make it up
to that sweet little circus geek in there.Copy !req
878. Hank?Copy !req
879. Agent Boshane!Copy !req
880. They were spotted leaving a health-food
restaurant 100 miles from here.Copy !req
881. - 15 minutes, tops.
- Got it.Copy !req
882. They got 150 cordoned off?Copy !req
883. Let's fly!Copy !req
884. Can you please tell him to stop this?Copy !req
885. Charlie, is that you?Copy !req
886. Hey, my nose.Copy !req
887. My nose is fixed.Copy !req
888. - isn't that great?
- How'd that happen?Copy !req
889. Well, Hank wanted
to do something nice for you,Copy !req
890. so he insisted that we
go to a plastic surgeon.Copy !req
891. What? Did you say plastic surgeon?Copy !req
892. Oh, my God.Copy !req
893. What is this?Copy !req
894. What d'you . . . What is this?Copy !req
895. Hank thought that you kinda
had a weak chin, so . . .Copy !req
896. What?Copy !req
897. I like my chin . . .Copy !req
898. I like my chin.Copy !req
899. It's my chin! It's my chin! Mine!Copy !req
900. How'd you pay for it?Copy !req
901. I loaned him the money.Copy !req
902. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
903. It's me.Copy !req
904. Milky.Copy !req
905. Who the hell is Milky
and what is he doing here?Copy !req
906. lrene has a lot of people who would like
to see her in an unmarked grave.Copy !req
907. I don't think it's safe
for you to hang around with us.Copy !req
908. Why not?
You, lrene and Hank are my only friends.Copy !req
909. What about your family?
Won't they miss you?Copy !req
910. My family's all . . .Copy !req
911. They're gone.Copy !req
912. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
913. Well, we can't call you Milky anymore.
What's your real name?Copy !req
914. Casper. But my friends call me Whitey.Copy !req
915. OK.Copy !req
916. I can't find the time to tell youCopy !req
917. I can't find the time to tell you . . .Copy !req
918. Whoa!Copy !req
919. So many things to sayCopy !req
920. I could fit it in a book, fit it in a book
of a thousand pages, yeahCopy !req
921. So many people sayCopy !req
922. That I couldn't tell a lie, couldn't tell a lie
in a thousand agesCopy !req
923. - Here you go. I got your car all filled up.
- Thank you, Joseph.Copy !req
924. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
925. Get your cock out of my Chrysler,
you son of a bitch!Copy !req
926. You son of a . . .
I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna get you!Copy !req
927. I can't find the time to tell youCopy !req
928. I look at your pretty faceCopy !req
929. And I fall in love with you
Fall in love with youCopy !req
930. Every time I see you thereCopy !req
931. They are flowing to the ground
Flowing to the groundCopy !req
932. In a mist around youCopy !req
933. Baby, you're wrongCopy !req
934. What's that on your shirt?Copy !req
935. I'm sorry.Copy !req
936. That was good.Copy !req
937. Charlie, what the hell is that?Copy !req
938. - Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fall for that.
- No, Charlie.Copy !req
939. Not me.Copy !req
940. Nice try though.Copy !req
941. How dumb do I look?Copy !req
942. I can't find the time to tell youCopy !req
943. I can't find the time to tell you . . .Copy !req
944. Hey, they only had two rooms: 19 and 20.Copy !req
945. So you guys will have to bunk up.Copy !req
946. I can't find the time to tell youCopy !req
947. So, Whitey . . .Copy !req
948. What happened to your family?Copy !req
949. I killed them.Copy !req
950. Come again?Copy !req
951. When I was 15, I hacked them up
with a hammer while they were sleeping.Copy !req
952. Ma, Dad, my bro and my sis.Copy !req
953. She was awake, my sis.Copy !req
954. Which I regret.Copy !req
955. Yeah, well . . .Copy !req
956. We all have family stuff.Copy !req
957. That's what makes the holidays so hard.Copy !req
958. I just got released last month
on my 21 st birthday.Copy !req
959. To tell you the truth, I really wasn't ready
to leave, but they said I had to.Copy !req
960. That's a fucked-up law, huh?Copy !req
961. Well, I guess they need the extra room
for the real . . .Copy !req
962. Psychos.Copy !req
963. I'm gonna go and try to make out
with whatsherface.Copy !req
964. - Go for it.
- All right!Copy !req
965. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
966. He just told me that he brutally murdered
his entire family in their sleep!Copy !req
967. - Oh, my God!
- He was a juvenile. They just let him out.Copy !req
968. So, I was gonna ask if I could . . .Copy !req
969. Stay here.Copy !req
970. But I can sleep in the car.Copy !req
971. That's me and my whippersnappers.
I'm Dorothy.Copy !req
972. Look at you!Copy !req
973. When did you take this? At Halloween?Copy !req
974. No. Just messing around the house.Copy !req
975. You seem like a really good dad, Charlie.Copy !req
976. I try to be.Copy !req
977. They're incredible kids. Oh, God.Copy !req
978. So happy and funny.
They never give me any grief.Copy !req
979. - They're the top three students out of 211.
- Golly!Copy !req
980. - I don't know where they get it from.
- That's just good genes.Copy !req
981. You know, I don't think l . . . No, I don't think
I carry even one picture anymore.Copy !req
982. - Why not?
- I don't know.Copy !req
983. I used to when I was younger.
Pictures of friends and stuff like that.Copy !req
984. I guess they just got old and fell apart.Copy !req
985. Kind of like the friendships.Copy !req
986. That's too bad.Copy !req
987. - Tell you what. Why not keep that one?
- No, Charlie. That's yours.Copy !req
988. Are you kidding? I have tons of them
at home. No, I got a bunch. Come on.Copy !req
989. - You do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
990. OK.Copy !req
991. Thanks.Copy !req
992. I'm dry.Copy !req
993. You know, I'm gonna go get a soda.Copy !req
994. - You want a soda?
- Sure. OK.Copy !req
995. I caught that, bozo.
Not once but twice it burned ya.Copy !req
996. Give it another kick.Copy !req
997. - I think I just had an epiphany!
- What?Copy !req
998. That I might be able to control
this problem of mine.Copy !req
999. How'd you learn that?Copy !req
1000. First the Coke machine robbed me.
And I'm fine with that.Copy !req
1001. But then some guy came up
and laughed in my face.Copy !req
1002. - Oh, no.
- No, no, but that's just it!Copy !req
1003. See? Just when I was starting to feel
those old familiar feelings,Copy !req
1004. I just took a deep breath, counted
backwards from 10 and I said to the guyCopy !req
1005. "Excuse me, sir, but your laughter
is not helping me right now."Copy !req
1006. And he said
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make fun."Copy !req
1007. That was it! I helped him with his bags.Copy !req
1008. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
1009. Well, that's great!Copy !req
1010. And you got the Cokes.Copy !req
1011. Just a little rap on the side
of the machine and presto!Copy !req
1012. Maybe that's it though, you know?Copy !req
1013. - Look what I found in my bag.
- Oh, no! Oh, boy.Copy !req
1014. What do you think? Do you?Copy !req
1015. Under the right circumstances,
sure, I could tip a few.Copy !req
1016. And these are the right circumstances.Copy !req
1017. There you go.Copy !req
1018. - Celebrate good times, come on.
- Oh, well.Copy !req
1019. Whoa, that must be mine!Copy !req
1020. Jesus! Oh, God.Copy !req
1021. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1022. lrene?Copy !req
1023. Why am I peeing
like I was up all night having sex?Copy !req
1024. Well, seems old Hank
had pulled a fast one.Copy !req
1025. And if that wasn't bad enough, there was
more trouble right around the corner.Copy !req
1026. I want everybody to stay put
and wait for my order.Copy !req
1027. - You mean you couldn't tell the difference?
- Are you serious?Copy !req
1028. - Who the hell could?
- A sober person for one.Copy !req
1029. So we had some drinks.Copy !req
1030. Well, look who joined the party.Copy !req
1031. Did you have fun?
"Ooh, yes, I did! Ooh, yes I did!"Copy !req
1032. So old Hanky-Panky
wasn't enough for you, huh?Copy !req
1033. It wasn't for me.Copy !req
1034. - Are you sure this is the woman?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
1035. When my boyfriend Scooter brought in
the paper, I recognized her right away.Copy !req
1036. Thanks a lot. Scooter.Copy !req
1037. - Here they come.
- Look, Starsky and Hutch, this is the plan.Copy !req
1038. Let us talk to our dad
so this ain't gotta be no big thing.Copy !req
1039. Thanks, but this is
the end of the line for you.Copy !req
1040. Officer Stubie'll drive you to the chopper.Copy !req
1041. What? You brung us all the way down
for us to leave now?Copy !req
1042. - That don't make no motherfuckin' sense!
- You've done all you can do.Copy !req
1043. This is a police matter from now on.Copy !req
1044. Wait. It may be a police matter to you,Copy !req
1045. but the police don't matter shit to me
when it's my daddy in there!Copy !req
1046. I said you're gettin' the hell outta here.
That's the end of it.Copy !req
1047. Guys, look, I'm sorry.
I hate to admit it, but this time he's right.Copy !req
1048. - You can't be here. It's a liability.
- He's the fuckin' liability!Copy !req
1049. Don't worry. This is my investigation.
I promise there will be no bloodshed.Copy !req
1050. I promise!Copy !req
1051. Come on, guys. Let's go.Copy !req
1052. You OK, Charlie?Copy !req
1053. Yeah. I'm just . . .Copy !req
1054. Freshening up!Copy !req
1055. How do you wanna handle it?Copy !req
1056. I say we storm the place
and start shooting.Copy !req
1057. - What if he's unarmed?
- Plant a gun on him afterwards.Copy !req
1058. Don't fuck it up this time.Copy !req
1059. Agent Boshane!Copy !req
1060. It's Stubie.
He's got Baileygates and the girl.Copy !req
1061. What?Copy !req
1062. This is Boshane. What's going on?Copy !req
1063. I caught 'em out on 134 in a stolen vehicle.
Baileygates and the girl.Copy !req
1064. Officer Stubie,
I don't want you to attempt to move them.Copy !req
1065. - Don't move them! We'll be right there.
- Get in your cars. Come on!Copy !req
1066. We sure is sorry, Officer,
but our daddy told us to trust our instinct,Copy !req
1067. and our instinct says
somethin' don't smell right. Let's roll.Copy !req
1068. You guys are making a big mistake!Copy !req
1069. 'Cause I promise you,
when I find your old man,Copy !req
1070. I'm personally gonna fuck him up!Copy !req
1071. Why'd you go an' say
somethin' like that for, huh?Copy !req
1072. Lee Harvey.Copy !req
1073. - What's the diameter of a chicken egg?
- 4.08cm.Copy !req
1074. - No, what's that in inches?
- 1.61. What the fuck you gettin' at?Copy !req
1075. I got 10 bucks say
I can squeeze a chicken egg up his ass.Copy !req
1076. You can't put no chicken egg up his ass.
He's a tightass!Copy !req
1077. - No, it can be done.
- Yo, I'll take that bet.Copy !req
1078. - Right on.
- Pull yo' ass out!Copy !req
1079. I'll tell you one thing.Copy !req
1080. if I didn't have bad luck,
I'd have no luck at all.Copy !req
1081. What are we gonna do about Whitey?Copy !req
1082. Take a guess. We're going on without him.Copy !req
1083. Moody.Copy !req
1084. Well, I didn't have
the fun you had last night.Copy !req
1085. Just the hangover
and the swollen prostate.Copy !req
1086. - D'you have any cash left?
- Yes. $60, but it's Whitey's.Copy !req
1087. Yeah, well, bad things happen to people
who kill their family with a hammer.Copy !req
1088. - I'm payin' under protest.
- It was close enough.Copy !req
1089. Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
1090. Shit.Copy !req
1091. Give me the scanner, so we can find out
what the fuck's goin' on!Copy !req
1092. Anybody know how to fly this thing?Copy !req
1093. Motherfucker, it's just lift
versus drag and rotation!Copy !req
1094. - Yeah, get your head out your ass!
- It ain't that. This manual's in German.Copy !req
1095. - Motherfucker, you speak German!
- I can speak it. I didn't say I could read it!Copy !req
1096. You's a motherfuckin' disgrace!Copy !req
1097. Then get this motherfucker off the ground!Copy !req
1098. All right! Oh, shit!Copy !req
1099. Jesus!Copy !req
1100. Would somebody get this goddamn
chicken out of my ass, please?Copy !req
1101. Everybody, stay back. We'll do this alone.
I'll take 19, you take 20. Stay back!Copy !req
1102. Goddamn it!Copy !req
1103. Sons of bitches, I'll show 'em.
Sons of bitches.Copy !req
1104. - I need a gun and lots of ammo.
- Sorry.Copy !req
1105. 72-hour wait. Federal law.Copy !req
1106. - How far am I from Rhode lsland?
- Four or five hours.Copy !req
1107. Got a map of New England,
if you want. $1.95.Copy !req
1108. - Here's a five. Keep the change.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1109. - Hello.
- Finneran, it's Charlie.Copy !req
1110. Charlie, you are in deep shit.
Where the hell are you?Copy !req
1111. Listen, you gotta get a message
to the colonel.Copy !req
1112. But no one outside the department
can know about this, OK?Copy !req
1113. 'Cause this is deep.Copy !req
1114. 4.30, South County train station.
Bring plenty of backup. You got it.Copy !req
1115. Don't worry. Nobody outside
the department will hear about this.Copy !req
1116. Watch yourself, buddy.Copy !req
1117. 4.30, huh?Copy !req
1118. Thanks for notitying us, Officer.
No, you've been a really big help.Copy !req
1119. - You stay close.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
1120. Excuse me.Copy !req
1121. - Where's Dickie?
- He's waiting for us in Boston.Copy !req
1122. I think it's time
our rich boy got his hands dirty.Copy !req
1123. Tell me.Copy !req
1124. How was . . .Copy !req
1125. Mr. Wonderful?Copy !req
1126. This is getting really ridiculous, Charlie,
so just let it go.Copy !req
1127. I turn my back for one minute
and you stick it up my ass! Literally!Copy !req
1128. For your information,
you stuck it in your own ass!Copy !req
1129. Don't turn this around on me, OK? You're
the one who can't keep your legs closed.Copy !req
1130. - Why are you doing this?
- Because I l . . . ike you.Copy !req
1131. What?Copy !req
1132. I like you.Copy !req
1133. Well, you shouldn't, Charlie.Copy !req
1134. I'm just a ditz.Copy !req
1135. A ditz? What are you talking about?
You're 27 years old.Copy !req
1136. You're the superintendent
of a major golf resort.Copy !req
1137. Yeah, well, I kind of fudged my résumé
a little bit to get that job.Copy !req
1138. Look, I don't know the first thing about
running a golf course, Charlie. I'm a model.Copy !req
1139. I moved to New York,
but none of it worked out,Copy !req
1140. so then I tried to be an actress and . . .Copy !req
1141. I got this eating disorder
where I gained, like, 20lb.Copy !req
1142. - That's not that bad.
- In a week.Copy !req
1143. So I kind of lost my self-respect.Copy !req
1144. Before you know it, I had 70-year-old guys
trying to support meCopy !req
1145. and I really didn't like
who I was becoming.Copy !req
1146. God, I have made so many mistakes.Copy !req
1147. lrene . . .Copy !req
1148. You didn't know what Dickie was up to.
Did you?Copy !req
1149. I may be a ditz, but I'm not a crook.Copy !req
1150. When we met, light was setCopy !req
1151. Thoughts free flowCopy !req
1152. You said you've got somethingCopy !req
1153. Deep inside of youCopy !req
1154. A wind-chime voice soundsCopy !req
1155. Sway of your hips 'round rings trueCopy !req
1156. My ass is really sore.Copy !req
1157. It goes deep inside of youCopy !req
1158. Wow!Copy !req
1159. I never get tired of hearing that.Copy !req
1160. Hey.Copy !req
1161. I'm lookin' for my friends.
A pretty blonde and a guy with a buzz cut.Copy !req
1162. - Cabin E.
- Thanks a lot.Copy !req
1163. Don't make a sound.Copy !req
1164. I don't know anything,
and that's what I told the police.Copy !req
1165. Shut up, lrene! You just listen to me.
Maybe we can work something out.Copy !req
1166. Time to face the music, Mozart.
And one, and two, and . . .Copy !req
1167. Warden, I want my own cell.Copy !req
1168. Great. You again.Copy !req
1169. - What tree did this sap ooze out of?
- It's Dickie! He got me into all this crap!Copy !req
1170. - Oh, your golf buddy.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1171. - I hope it's OK if I play through.
- Hank!Copy !req
1172. - OK, turn around. I'll play the back nine.
- Stop it!Copy !req
1173. Come on. He couldn't have
chewed up the greens that badly.Copy !req
1174. Get away from me!Copy !req
1175. He hasn't played the course in a long time.
It was Charlie who was putting.Copy !req
1176. - Charlie?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1177. He might not be long on the tee,
but he's got a good up-and-down game.Copy !req
1178. What's that suppo . . .
Can we speak English?Copy !req
1179. I never wanted to sleep with you, Hank!
OK? You tricked me!Copy !req
1180. That's right, I did trick you. It was
deceitful, disgusting and despicable.Copy !req
1181. But just this once,
try to look at it from my side.Copy !req
1182. I was horny.Copy !req
1183. Oh, God!Copy !req
1184. You are such an asshole!Copy !req
1185. Come on.
Don't be mad, my little pussyfart.Copy !req
1186. I warned you about that, buddy!Copy !req
1187. Warned me about what?Copy !req
1188. Charlie?Copy !req
1189. Providence, Rhode lsland.
Ten-minute stop.Copy !req
1190. Did you . . .Copy !req
1191. - What?
- What's going on?Copy !req
1192. - Hank was coming on to me again.
- Hank!Copy !req
1193. Damn it. I am so sick of that guy!Copy !req
1194. OK, Hank, come out here. Let's settle this
the old-fashioned way. Come on!Copy !req
1195. I may not be tough,
but damn it, I can get good and mad!Copy !req
1196. Stop it, man. You're scaring me.Copy !req
1197. - What's the matter?
- Let's go before he wakes up.Copy !req
1198. I'm not through with you, buster.
I'm not through with you!Copy !req
1199. What's the matter, Hank?
Afraid to pick on someone your own size?Copy !req
1200. Are you OK? What happened?Copy !req
1201. That was dirty.Copy !req
1202. All right. Come on.Copy !req
1203. Where are you? Where are you?Copy !req
1204. Here I am.Copy !req
1205. You bastard!Copy !req
1206. Stop it, you're gonna kill him!Copy !req
1207. You're choking me!
You're choking me!Copy !req
1208. Charlie, don't break it.Copy !req
1209. Get on your knees and beg me. Up yours.Copy !req
1210. On your feet. We're gonna have fun.Copy !req
1211. lrene!Copy !req
1212. Hi, ladies. My name is Charlie Baileygates.
Wanna see my weasel?Copy !req
1213. Free hot dogs here. All you can eat.
Get your foot-long and a bag of nuts.Copy !req
1214. No! Don't listen to him!
It's not me! It's Hank!Copy !req
1215. It's Hank!Copy !req
1216. Come back here, Hank!
I'm not through with you!Copy !req
1217. Had enough? Up yours.Copy !req
1218. Stop it, you two!Copy !req
1219. - It's Gerke! Come on!
- Hank, truce? For now, fucker.Copy !req
1220. Watch out! He's got a gun!Copy !req
1221. I'll follow the girl. You get Baileygates!Copy !req
1222. Police officer! Everybody down! Get down!Copy !req
1223. Outta the way!Copy !req
1224. Hank, we're shot!
You pussy, it's just a flesh wound. Look.Copy !req
1225. Look, there's keys in that car.
No, I can't go on.Copy !req
1226. I think . . .Copy !req
1227. I think I'm gonna faint.Copy !req
1228. Do you mean to say
I've gotta carry your sorry ass?Copy !req
1229. All right.Copy !req
1230. Come on, Rip Van Wussy.Copy !req
1231. Jesus, you're heavy.Copy !req
1232. Now get in there!Copy !req
1233. And we're gone.Copy !req
1234. Shit! Don't worry.Copy !req
1235. Hank, what have you done? Oh, my God!
Don't you just love it?Copy !req
1236. You are a sick pup.Copy !req
1237. Yeah, well, takes one to know one.Copy !req
1238. What are you doing? Hank?Copy !req
1239. Ever been bitch-slapped?Copy !req
1240. I'm gonna kill you, Hank! I swear to God!Copy !req
1241. Arrivederci, deadwood. No!Copy !req
1242. What are you still doin' here?
Hank, we're in this together.Copy !req
1243. Pritchard.Copy !req
1244. Cover the other end.
I want Charlie arrested on sight.Copy !req
1245. Hey, lrene. You just keep walking, now.Copy !req
1246. lrene!Copy !req
1247. Baileygates, you're coming with me.Copy !req
1248. - Not now, Finneran.
- Yes, now!Copy !req
1249. That was me.
Yeah, big deal.Copy !req
1250. - Shut up, Hank! You're so . . .
- Hank!Copy !req
1251. - Hank!
- Hey! Let her go!Copy !req
1252. She asked for me, asshole.
Big deal!Copy !req
1253. Dickie, you know I don't know anything!Copy !req
1254. Shut up, lrene. It's too late.Copy !req
1255. Hank!Copy !req
1256. - No way.
- Come on.Copy !req
1257. Oh, no. Water.
Yeah. She's screwed. I'll buy you a beer.Copy !req
1258. No! We're doin' it!Copy !req
1259. Hank!Copy !req
1260. Hank! What are you doing?
Give me the leg!Copy !req
1261. Hank, hurry!Copy !req
1262. This is my body!Copy !req
1263. Do you understand that?Copy !req
1264. I call the shots from now on, Hank!Copy !req
1265. I don't need you
to fight my battles for me!Copy !req
1266. if you can back down from something
this important, you're nothing at all!Copy !req
1267. You're nothing at all!Copy !req
1268. I got my leg back.Copy !req
1269. Oh, no. Hank!Copy !req
1270. I'm coming, lrene!Copy !req
1271. - Hank!
- It's OK, lrene.Copy !req
1272. Hank's gone.Copy !req
1273. - It's me, Charlie.
- Charlie?Copy !req
1274. Maybe you should go back and get help.Copy !req
1275. No, I can handle it.Copy !req
1276. I'm warning you, pal.
You're gonna get hurt.Copy !req
1277. Be careful, Charlie!Copy !req
1278. - Just do what he says, Charlie!
- Back off! Just turn around! Now!Copy !req
1279. Take it easy, Dickie. Take it easy.Copy !req
1280. There's nowhere to go.Copy !req
1281. Come on, Dickie.Copy !req
1282. Give me the gun. Come on.Copy !req
1283. Come on. That's it.Copy !req
1284. Nice and easy.Copy !req
1285. Where's my thumb?Copy !req
1286. That's kidnapping and assault!Copy !req
1287. - Why stop there?
- No!Copy !req
1288. Oh, God!Copy !req
1289. Whitey!Copy !req
1290. Rock 'n' roll!Copy !req
1291. lrene!Copy !req
1292. - lrene!
- What?Copy !req
1293. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1294. Keep goin' . Bring it down.Copy !req
1295. We're comin' , Daddy! We're comin' , man!Copy !req
1296. It's my kids!Copy !req
1297. Hang on, Daddy!
Grab a hold of that motherfucker, man!Copy !req
1298. So, how's my thumb lookin' , Doc?Copy !req
1299. I'll let you know when I find it.Copy !req
1300. lrene, Charlie,
this is Agent Steve Parfitt, FBI.Copy !req
1301. You must be real proud of these maniacs.Copy !req
1302. Oh, I am.Copy !req
1303. Yeah, we're proud
of this motherfucker too.Copy !req
1304. It's good to see you're safe, Dad.Copy !req
1305. The colonel informed themCopy !req
1306. that all the guilty parties had been
apprehended.Copy !req
1307. Gerke was arraigned
at a Providence hospital,Copy !req
1308. and Agent Boshane had been arrested
at the train station in New London.Copy !req
1309. But Charlie Baileygates
had other things on his mind.Copy !req
1310. - Charlie, nicely done.
- Thanks, Sea Bass.Copy !req
1311. Hey, Whitey. Listen, I wanted to tell youCopy !req
1312. that I really appreciate
everything you did for me.Copy !req
1313. I owe you a huge one.Copy !req
1314. And I'm truly sorry
that you had to kill again.Copy !req
1315. - Must be messing with your head.
- I never killed anyone before.Copy !req
1316. - What?
- You're a schizo who's wanted for murder,Copy !req
1317. and you're laying in bed next to meCopy !req
1318. gabbing like a 16-year-old girl
on the phone.Copy !req
1319. You freaked me out, man.Copy !req
1320. But what about your family?
How did they die?Copy !req
1321. I never said they were dead.Copy !req
1322. I said they were gone.Copy !req
1323. They moved to Phoenix, the bastards.Copy !req
1324. Look at me.
I wouldn't last two minutes in the desert.Copy !req
1325. Hey, your bandage is wet.Copy !req
1326. Oh, yeah?
Well, maybe it's time to come off.Copy !req
1327. I'm surprised it's held on this long.Copy !req
1328. Hey, that's not so bad.Copy !req
1329. Hey, Daddy, we just wanted to say that . . .Copy !req
1330. Holy shit!Copy !req
1331. Look, Daddy got a butthole on his face.Copy !req
1332. Oh, boy. Here we go.Copy !req
1333. He sure is
a Spartacus-lookin' motherfucker.Copy !req
1334. Hey, Daddy, now you can blow your nose
and wipe your ass at the same damn time!Copy !req
1335. You know what I'm saying?Copy !req
1336. - So . . .
- So . . .Copy !req
1337. - How'd your meeting with the shrink go?
- Wonderful.Copy !req
1338. Clean bill of health.
A well-rounded individual.Copy !req
1339. That's great, Charlie.
I'm really happy for you.Copy !req
1340. Thank you.Copy !req
1341. Well . . .Copy !req
1342. I hope if you're ever,Copy !req
1343. you know, around here, you'll . . .Copy !req
1344. Come and visit us.Copy !req
1345. Yeah.Copy !req
1346. - Little Rhodie.
- Biggest little state in the union.Copy !req
1347. - Let me get that for you.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1348. - Hey, lrene?
- Yeah?Copy !req
1349. Maybe I could come
visit you sometime soon.Copy !req
1350. Promise?Copy !req
1351. You bet.Copy !req
1352. And that's the word
of a Rhode lsland State Trooper, ma'am.Copy !req
1353. I found you sittin' on a suitcase cryin'Copy !req
1354. Beneath my feet
I feel the rumble of a subway train, yeahCopy !req
1355. I laugh out loud 'cause it's the one thing
I hadn't been tryin'Copy !req
1356. The train came in breathlessCopy !req
1357. The passengers restlessCopy !req
1358. She said "Baby, you'll never change"Copy !req
1359. You gotta get goin'Copy !req
1360. You gotta keep goin'Copy !req
1361. Hey, the world ain't slowin' down . . .Copy !req
1362. You gotta be kidding.Copy !req
1363. Hold it right there.Copy !req
1364. Miss Waters?
I'd like you to step out of the car.Copy !req
1365. What did I not do now?Copy !req
1366. - We've reason to believe this is stolen.
- What?Copy !req
1367. No, no, I rented this car!Copy !req
1368. Would you step out of the car, please?Copy !req
1369. Great.Copy !req
1370. Front of the car, please.
Hands on the hood.Copy !req
1371. Spread your legs.Copy !req
1372. - That's great.
- Thank you. Following procedure, ma'am.Copy !req
1373. Oh, you guys!Copy !req
1374. You guys are beautiful! Look,
why don't we skip the trial, get right to it?Copy !req
1375. You can lock me up
and keep me here forever!Copy !req
1376. That's what I had planned.Copy !req
1377. Look.Copy !req
1378. - I hope her little skinny ass is reading this.
- Man, I'm pretty sure she's lookin' , man.Copy !req
1379. Oh, Charlie.Copy !req
1380. It's gonna be raining wine
and roses tonight.Copy !req
1381. It'll be rainin' my motherfuckin' cookiesCopy !req
1382. if this motherfucker don't stop
this turbulence shit!Copy !req
1383. Well, that's Charlie's story,
and I'm sticking to it.Copy !req
1384. They all moved in together
and lived as one big happy family.Copy !req
1385. Charlie and lrene, the guys,
even that nice albino fella, Whitey.Copy !req
1386. And I'm happy to report
Charlie got promoted to lieutenantCopy !req
1387. in the greatest law enforcement agency
in the land: the Rhode lsland State Police.Copy !req
1388. Yeah, it was a regular slice of Americana.Copy !req
1389. Y'all come back now! Thanks
for watching our motherfuckin' movie!Copy !req
1390. You gotta keep goin'Copy !req
1391. Hey, the world ain't slowin' downCopy !req
1392. For no oneCopy !req
1393. It's a carnival callin' out to youCopy !req
1394. It's callin' out to youCopy !req
1395. It sounds like a songCopy !req
1396. It hits you like ScriptureCopy !req
1397. You paint the picture
with colors squeezed from your handCopy !req
1398. Weren't you the kid
who just climbed on the merry-go . . .Copy !req
1399. Weren't you the kid
who just climbed on the merry-go-round?Copy !req
1400. Hey, look, the world ain't slowin' downCopy !req
1401. Hey, heyCopy !req
1402. The world ain't slowin' downCopy !req
1403. Hey, heyCopy !req
1404. It's a big blue worldCopy !req
1405. We're ridin' on a big blue worldCopy !req
1406. In the mornin' you go gunnin'Copy !req
1407. For the man who stole your waterCopy !req
1408. Then you fire till he's done inCopy !req
1409. But they catch you at the borderCopy !req
1410. And the mourners are all singin'Copy !req
1411. As they drag you by your feetCopy !req
1412. But the hangman isn't hangin'Copy !req
1413. And they put you on the streetCopy !req
1414. You go back, JackCopy !req
1415. Do it againCopy !req
1416. Wheels turnin' round and roundCopy !req
1417. You go back, JackCopy !req
1418. Do it againCopy !req
1419. When you know you're no high climberCopy !req
1420. And you find out your only friendCopy !req
1421. In a room with a two-timerCopy !req
1422. And you're sure you're near the endCopy !req
1423. Then you love a little wild oneCopy !req
1424. You bring to her a smile
and then I saw oneCopy !req
1425. All the time that you know you're smilin'Copy !req
1426. Your black cards can make you moneyCopy !req
1427. So you hide them when you're ableCopy !req
1428. In the land of milk and honeyCopy !req
1429. You must put them on the tableCopy !req
1430. You go back, JackCopy !req
1431. Do it againCopy !req
1432. Wheels turnin' round and roundCopy !req
1433. You go back, JackCopy !req
1434. Do it againCopy !req
1435. Hope unknownCopy !req
1436. Sometimes just waking is surrealCopy !req
1437. I walk right through the nameless onesCopy !req
1438. I know that hope's unknownCopy !req
1439. Sometimes the water feels so realCopy !req
1440. As I walk through, it fills my lungsCopy !req
1441. My God, I'm drowningCopy !req
1442. This day never seems to end
this pain neverCopy !req
1443. This day never seems toCopy !req
1444. This rage I cannot let goCopy !req
1445. I hear them callingCopy !req
1446. I feel them gnawingCopy !req
1447. Holes through flawless soulsCopy !req
1448. I hear them callingCopy !req
1449. I feel them gnawingCopy !req
1450. Holes through flawless soulsCopy !req
1451. So aloneCopy !req
1452. Sometimes I swear that I can hearCopy !req
1453. The taunting of the voiceless onesCopy !req
1454. I fear that I aloneCopy !req
1455. Fear those who finally ceased to feelCopy !req
1456. That they're alone inside this placeCopy !req
1457. I am the misplacedCopy !req
1458. This day never seems to end
this pain neverCopy !req
1459. This day never seems toCopy !req
1460. This rage I cannot let goCopy !req
1461. I hear them callingCopy !req
1462. I feel them gnawingCopy !req
1463. Holes through flawless soulsCopy !req
1464. I hear them callingCopy !req
1465. I feel them gnawingCopy !req
1466. Holes through flawless soulsCopy !req
1467. Now every face looks familiarCopy !req
1468. Then every face melts away till nowCopy !req
1469. Everyone, do you know
I know your deception?Copy !req
1470. Now every face looks familiarCopy !req
1471. Then every face melts away till nowCopy !req
1472. Everyone, do you know
I know your deception?Copy !req
1473. I hear them callingCopy !req
1474. I feel them gnawingCopy !req
1475. Holes through flawless soulsCopy !req
1476. I hear them callingCopy !req
1477. I feel them gnawingCopy !req
1478. Holes through flawless soulsCopy !req
1479. I hear them callingCopy !req
1480. I feel them gnawingCopy !req
1481. Holes through flawless soulsCopy !req
1482. OK, everybody,
the water temperature is 63º.Copy !req
1483. Pop's thumb should be OK
if we find it within the next six hours.Copy !req
1484. - Sure?
- Do the math, motherfucker.Copy !req
1485. - Damn!
- Jeez.Copy !req
1486. - Fellas, I think I found it!
- What?Copy !req
1487. - False alarm.
- Oh, damn, Whitey!Copy !req