Matinee (1993)

1. 'Yes, the atomic bomb is terrible.

2. 'But more terrible still are the effects of atomic mutation.

3. 'Hello, I'm Lawrence Woolsey,

4. 'and I want to warn you about something that could happen,

5. 'something that does happen in my newest motion picture.

6. 'Observe the ant,

7. 'a miniature marvel of social co-operation and prodigious strength.

8. 'But if a man and an ant were exposed to radiation simultaneously,

9. 'the result would be terrible indeed.

10. 'For the result would be

11. 'Mant!'

12. Dennis, you're gonna miss it.

13. 'I feel I should warn you.

14. 'The story of Mant! is based on scientific fact,

15. 'on theories that have appeared in national magazines.'

16. (Lawrence) 'Yes, these terrible events could happen

17. 'in your town,

18. 'in your home.

19. 'And they will happen in this theater

20. 'in Atomo-Vision,

21. 'the new motion picture miracle that puts you in the action.'

22. (Announcer) 'Lawrence Woolsey, the master of movie horror.

23. 'In 1960, he hypnotized you.'

24. 'Look. Look into the eyes of Dr. Diablo.'

25. Yes, master.

26. - I will. - Huh?

27. Gene! Quit it!

28. Where am I?

29. (Announcer) 'Now, in 1962, he exterminates you...'

30. with Mant!'

31. - (Snarls) - Gene! God!

32. It's just me.

33. This time.

34. Look, Dennis, no nightmares, OK? Or else you can't see Mant!

35. Lawrence Woolsey? He's coming here?

36. That's right. Tell all your little friends.

37. Wow!

38. Wow!

39. Gene?

40. That couldn't really happen,

41. could it?

42. With the ant?

43. In fact, it has happened.

44. Up in Tennessee about a year ago,

45. this poor bastard got trapped

46. in a uranium mine with a click beetle.

47. He combined with it.

48. What?

49. It was six feet tall.

50. They killed it finally but,

51. a lot of people were deaf by then

52. from the clicking.

53. (Dennis) The poor bastard.

54. (Gene) Don't curse, Dennis.

55. How's it going, kid?

56. So maybe the giant bug saw his mom and dad get crushed by a little kid.

57. Their guts and everything.

58. So he goes looking for the little kid he can crush.

59. - Gene? - Revenge.

60. - That's what insects like. - Gene!

61. Gonna go down and shoot some tree frogs.

62. - Wanna come? - Yeah, can we?

63. No.

64. No, thanks, Andy.

65. (Gene) It's disgusting.

66. (Dennis) Yeah, disgusting.

67. - Hi, Mom. - Hi!

68. Whoa! Oh, Gene, what did you take him to?

69. - Giant bugs. - Oh, the movie wasn't that scary.

70. - The coming attraction was great. - Well, it's not real, sweetie.

71. It's not?

72. No, of course not.

73. Thanks a lot.

74. He can take it. Can't you, squirt?

75. You're the squirt.

76. Mom, I really wanna see that movie.

77. With the bug?

78. You're gonna get bad dreams.

79. - Uh-uh, I promise. - Mmm-hmm. We'll see.

80. Oh, you should have heard his heartbeat.

81. Huh? You're scaring him half to death.

82. 'In this box we have two white rats.'

83. 'One,

84. 'two.

85. 'Two women's rats that they put in their hair.

86. 'Martha Washington.

87. 'You got that? Now you remember that.

88. 'OK, bring the lady back in. Get her out of the dressing room.

89. 'She doesn't know a thing about this so far.

90. 'And we wanna see whether a woman's unreasoning fear

91. 'will prevent her from getting a prize, all right?'

92. You could have invited that Andy in.

93. In our house?

94. Well, he is your age.

95. So what? He's a jerk.

96. Well, maybe he knows some kids that you would like.

97. - If you wanna make friends, I think... - Mom, don't you get it?

98. We moved to a town...

99. everybody's known each other since nursery school.

100. The kids in town don't like the kids from the base.

101. And then we move again anyway.

102. So what's the point?

103. Your father says that we may be here for a few years.

104. Oh, don't put a plate down for him.

105. What's wrong?

106. They sent them out today, a lot of guys from the base.

107. Out where?

108. I don't know. I don't know.

109. He called up and he said it was

110. some kind of exercise, special ops...

111. (Sighs) Something.

112. (Exhales) They won't even tell them for how long,

113. and just had to go.

114. - Well, it's... - Yeah. Shh, shh.

115. (Man on TV) '... $100 in cash

116. 'if you will just put your hand in there, where those two rats are.

117. 'All right, come on. Put your hand in.

118. - 'Put it in.' - (Woman) 'Where is it?'

119. 'They're white rats, aren't they?'

120. What did they stop it for?

121. (Announcer) 'NBC News brings to you from the White House in Washington

122. 'an address by President Kennedy

123. 'declared to be, officially, of the highest national urgency.

124. 'The President of the United States.'

125. (Kennedy) 'Good evening, my fellow citizens.

126. 'This government, as promised,

127. 'has maintained the closest surveillance

128. 'of the Soviet military build-up on the island of Cuba.

129. - 'Within the past week...' - Hey, Mom.

130. unmistakable evidence has established the fact

131. 'that a series of offensive missile sites

132. 'is now in preparation on that imprisoned island.

133. 'Several of them include medium range ballistic missiles

134. 'capable of carrying a nuclear warhead

135. 'for a distance of more than 1,000 nautical miles.

136. 'Each of these missiles, in short, is capable of striking Washington D.C.,

137. 'Cape Canaveral, or any other city

138. 'in the south-eastern part of the United States.'

139. They're gonna bomb us?

140. No. Shh.

141. '... a strict quarantine on all offensive military equipment

142. 'under shipment to Cuba is being initiated.

143. 'All ships of any kind bound for Cuba will,

144. 'if found to contain cargos of offensive weapons,

145. 'be turned back.

146. 'We will not prematurely or unnecessarily

147. 'risk the costs of worldwide nuclear war

148. 'but neither will we shrink from that risk

149. 'at any time it must be faced.'

150. Gene?

151. Is Dad in Cuba?

152. Well...

153. He's on a ship over near there.

154. There's a bunch of ships and they're gonna stop the Russians

155. from taking any more weapons in there.

156. How?

157. If the Russian ship comes,

158. then they make them stop and they go on there and search it.

159. Does Dad have to go on, too?

160. He might.

161. What if the Russians don't let them?

162. I don't know.

163. I'm scared.

164. Everybody's scared.

165. Everybody in the world.

166. But you have to try and not be, OK?

167. But you wanted me to be scared of Mant!

168. You should get some sleep.

169. OK. But can you turn the radio on?

170. (Newscaster) leading toward the quarantine point

171. 'some 500 miles off Cuba in the Atlantic.

172. 'Meanwhile, in Washington,

173. 'round-the-clock meetings are being held...'

174. Hey, Larry.

175. Larry! Look at these headlines.

176. This Key West is only 90 miles from Cuba.

177. Shouldn't we at least postpone this a few weeks?

178. What, are you kidding me? Timing's perfect.

179. This war stuff spooks them. Then we come in...

180. - Pow! The main event. - Oh, yeah, right.

181. Just hang with me, baby.

182. This guy Spector... Wow!

183. Man-i-gator.

184. Alli-man.

185. This guy Spector comes to the preview,

186. he can pick up a phone and book us into 50 theaters.

187. Well, he better.

188. This came from the lab.

189. If we don't pay up by next Thursday, they're gonna sue us.

190. Boy, this business has changed.

191. They used to settle these things with violence.

192. - That's cute, Larry. - Oh, honey.

193. Hey, boy.

194. Make sure you get the bugs off that windshield.

195. I hate bugs.

196. She-gator, Gator-gal... Gal-i-gator!

197. Why don't you hold on to that, Larry?

198. I may not be around the next time you need it.

199. - What do you mean? - I mean, we're going nowhere, Larry.

200. Matter of fact, we're there.

201. If this picture's a flop, I'm gonna look into real life,

202. which, as we know, lets you out.

203. Wait a minute.

204. - You'd leave me over money? - It's not the money, Larry.

205. It's ducking the people that are trying to collect the money.

206. Excuse me. That'll be $2, sir.

207. - All right. - Thanks.

208. Hey, aren't you that guy that makes them scary movies?

209. Well, yes, I am, Richie.

210. Pleasure to meet you.

211. - What are you doing down here? - We're going down to Key West.

212. Preview of my new picture. I got a new process. It's big.

213. Don't want any of the boys from the studios coming around,

214. - steal it from me. - Wow!

215. Uh, could you...

216. Thanks, Mr. Hitchcock.

217. Listen, don't be surprised if we go put on a surgical air strike

218. on those missiles by 24:00 hours.

219. Blow them up, pow! Cuba's radioactive for nine lifetimes.

220. Yeah? Where'd you hear that at?

221. My dad's Navy. We live on base.

222. (Sarcastically) Ooh, I'm impressed.

223. (Boy) What's your dad do, man?

224. Motor pool. Hey, they still hear stuff, though.

225. Maybe we're attacking Cuba with jeeps.

226. - It's only 90 miles. - Yeah, we put pontoons on them.

227. Hey, see that kid over there?

228. His dad's on one of the blockade ships.

229. Yeah?

230. Hey. Tell them about your dad.

231. Um, well he shipped out, but he didn't know where.

232. Did he call you up from there?

233. They're not allowed 'cause of security.

234. Tough.

235. Face-to-face with Ivan, man.

236. Damn! Got color guard.

237. Oh, man. Look at Michelle.

238. You think if the bomb were about to fall she'd do it with me?

239. Ask her.

240. Now, your red meat food group,

241. you wanna make sure you have three servings a day

242. to satisfy this food group.

243. Breakfast, you're gonna have bacon, sausage, something of this nature.

244. Lunch, a hamburger, pork sandwich, something like this.

245. And then dinner...

246. OK, people, this may not be a drill.

247. Single file, quickly.

248. You assume the duck and cover position with your head down and no talking.

249. Single file. Let's move.

250. OK, people, duck and cover position.

251. Hands behind the back of your neck.

252. No talking to your neighbor. Everybody head down.

253. This isn't real. If it was real, they'd use different sirens.

254. - How do you know? - My father.

255. (Teacher) I said no talking!

256. - (Girl) No. - (Woman) Right now.

257. (Girl) No! I'm not gonna do this.

258. (Woman) We're not having this from you, young lady.

259. - This is for your protection. - (Girl) Yes, but it isn't any protection.

260. It doesn't do any good.

261. Keep your heads down. Come with me.

262. If you think it's gonna help you to put your hands behind your neck

263. when the bomb falls, you're wrong.

264. Young lady, I think we've had just about enough of this.

265. That girl's a communist.

266. (Teacher) Head down, people.

267. If you die when the bomb first falls, you're lucky.

268. 'Cause if not, you're gonna get radiation poisoning.

269. First your hair's gonna fall out,

270. and then you're gonna bleed from your intestines,

271. and then you're gonna start throwing up.

272. But you're not even throwing up food.

273. You're throwing up your own organs.

274. Eew!

275. Yeah, "eew!" is right.

276. Principal's office, let's go-

277. But then I won't have the protection of being on the floor if the bomb falls.

278. - I said, let's go. - (Girl) They don't tell you the truth.

279. They tell you to put your hands behind your neck,

280. and they keep building bombs.

281. - (Boy 1) What is that? - (Boy 2) It's a man in the bathtub.

282. He's leaning over and scrubbing himself.

283. Tough. Where'd you learn that from?

284. My dad showed me.

285. - That is so stupid. - It looks so real.

286. What?

287. That trick his dad taught him. Never give him a spoon.

288. Hey, Navy, have a seat.

289. Good move.

290. - Man. - What?

291. This sandwich.

292. My folks had a fondue party last night,

293. so now I've got this sliced solid fondue sandwich.

294. Look at that.

295. Your folks are having parties during this?

296. Well, they had it already melted.

297. Hey, so any of you guys going to that horror show on Saturday?

298. Yeah, if they still have it.

299. - Yeah, if they still have Saturday. - Hey, that's deep.

300. I think it's called Mant!

301. The guy who made it was on TV. PTA's trying to ban him.

302. Tough. What's his name?

303. Lawrence Woolsey.

304. He's coming in person. He's got a new process.

305. What's a process?

306. Oh, it's things like 3-D, or when stuff comes out of the walls,

307. like on Island Of The Flesh Eaters.

308. They locked the theater so you couldn't get out if you were scared.

309. Oh, yeah. I heard in this one town, the projector guy got so scared he died.

310. No. That was a different movie, and it didn't happen.

311. That was the one where they hypnotize you,

312. The Eyes Of Dr. Diablo.

313. Hey, Navy here is a walking encyclopedia.

314. My name is Gene.

315. They hypnotized you?

316. I don't know.

317. You see, they guaranteed that you wouldn't remember.

318. That'd be the best show to take a girl to.

319. She gets really scared, right, so she grabs on to your arm.

320. You kind of sneak your arm over in there.

321. Hey, quit it!

322. - Your elbow doesn't count, man. - Sure it counts.

323. What, is there rules?

324. Hey, Navy, wait up!

325. Well we move every year, sometimes more.

326. Move every year?

327. How many gym suits do you have?

328. I have three Wildcats, two Pirates, two Cougars.

329. Wow!

330. Hey, so you got a date for that show Saturday?

331. No.

332. Well, you gotta get one.

333. See, this is kind of a special place you're in here.

334. - Florida? - No, Key West.

335. It's like the make out capital of the world.

336. It's like there's something in the air. Even the grown-ups like doing it.

337. You get a date for Saturday, you'll see what I mean.

338. - I haven't really met anybody... - You just walk up and ask them.

339. It's easy. Like...

340. "I'm taking you to a monster movie.

341. "Don't worry about the monster getting you, worry about me.

342. "Don't be late, I want to get Milk Duds."

343. Really, like that?

344. Yeah, 'cause you're in control, man.

345. She likes that.

346. What?

347. Sherry, hi.

348. Hello, Stan.

349. Uh...

350. This is my friend Gene here from out at the base.

351. Uh...

352. Gene's father is on one of those blockade ships off of Cuba.

353. Oh, my gosh. Is he?

354. Oh, you must be so worried about him. But that's wonderful.

355. I think everybody's thinking about our boys.

356. Not that your father is a boy or anything.

357. - I didn't mean... - Well, he's 40.

358. I think that people just naturally refer to them as "our boys."

359. And I think there should be a special prayer moment

360. for all of them in study hall.

361. So do I.

362. Yeah?

363. Well,I guess I'll see you guys later.

364. Bye, Stan. Bye.

365. - Hey, you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine.

366. You know, the last guy she went out with is in reform school.

367. - Yeah? - Yeah, this guy Harvey Starkweather.

368. Really bad kid.

369. (Gene) Wow.

370. (Stan) I see that girl, I just...

371. Listen, we gotta get a date for you.

372. You want to come over after school?

373. - OK, sure. - All right.

374. Better hurry up. You're gonna be late.

375. (Lenny Bruce on record) 'The entertainment capital

376. 'of this country is Las Vegas.

377. 'What's the attraction that all support? All of the moralists,

378. 'all of the censors, all of the senators?'

379. - All right, this part here. - 'Tits and ass is the attraction.'

380. 'I beg your pardon.

381. 'Give me the second biggest attraction.

382. - 'More tits and ass...' - (Both chuckling)

383. - 'That's it...' - (Car door closes)

384. Damn. It's my mom.

385. 'And ass and tits and ass...'

386. - Stan? - Uh, we're in here, Mom. (Sighs)

387. Glad you're home. Everybody is so crazy.

388. Uh, Mom, this is Gene.

389. Oh, hi, Gene.

390. Gene's from on base.

391. - What have you heard over there? - Uh, well, they don't tell us much.

392. I can tell you what they're saying on the radio.

393. They are saying that the world is right on the brink,

394. and that is the terms they're putting it in.

395. Do you know that they are using the Casa Marina Hotel for a barracks?

396. I mean, I almost couldn't get back here.

397. They've got these Army trucks coming down the A1A,

398. holding everybody up.

399. - Cool. Let's go look. - Stanley, you...

400. Mom, I'll be all right. Don't worry about it.

401. All right, but you stay within 17 minutes of this house, you understand me?

402. And if you see that flash, you don't look now. You get down...

403. And I put my jacket over my head. Got it.

404. And then you get home as fast as you can.

405. And, Gene, you just get on back to the base then, all right?

406. - Yes, ma'am. - All right.

407. Mom, don't worry.

408. (Whispers) "Don't worry..."

409. Damn.

410. Let's go! Keep it on the double!

411. (Soldiers) Go! Go! Go!

412. - (Stan) What's that one? - (Gene) It's a mobile radar unit.

413. So is that one, and that one.

414. - That one there? - It's a missile launcher.

415. Man! That little thing can reach Cuba?

416. That's the plan.

417. See right over there?

418. That's where I got up on top of Denise Rogers last summer.

419. Fellas, we need you out of this area.

420. We're gonna pull some trucks up in here.

421. Uh, sure.

422. - Man, what's the deal? - Watch it! Watch it!

423. - Ow! - It's a riot.

424. (Chuckles) I know. It's tough.

425. Hey, look.

426. (Teacher) Hey, excuse me. Hey, let go of it. Let go of it.

427. - Both of you, stop it! - Hey, hey, that's my Shredded Wheat.

428. Is there more in the back?

429. There's no more Shredded Wheat in the back.

430. There's no more Shredded Wheat in the whole Keys,

431. and one of you will have to go through the atomic destruction

432. with no damn Shredded Wheat.

433. - What do you think about that? - I think it's my box...

434. - Hi, Mr. Elroy. - (Stammers) Hello, son.

435. (Mr. Elroy) Hey!

436. Hey!

437. (Man translating from Russian) 'You will have your answer in due course.'

438. 'I'm prepared to wait for my answer until hell freezes over

439. 'if that's your decision.'

440. He said, "Hell."

441. Oh, it's OK. It's a crisis.

442. Oh, he has been watching this all afternoon.

443. Why don't you take him to the movies?

444. No, they've got one of those flying rubber professor pictures.

445. Well, you could see a movie without a monster for once.

446. - No monsters? - (Gene) No.

447. Hell.

448. Where did he get that from?

449. The UN.

450. 'We have no time to lose, Mr. Adams.

451. 'We have to find Uncle Cedric before he gets in any more trouble.'

452. - 'What does Uncle Cedric look like?' - 'Well, he's a shopping cart.

453. 'You know, chromium finish, and his right front wheel,

454. 'it's sort of wobbly.

455. - 'A shopping cart?' - 'Yes!

456. 'Well, of course, he wasn't always a shopping cart.

457. 'You see, he had a spell put on him.

458. 'And it's all my fault, really, because"!

459. (Man) 'All right. Stick 'em up, both of youse.

460. 'Give me your purse.'

461. - (Man grunting) - (Woman gasps)

462. 'Right. Hold it right there.'

463. 'Uncle Cedric.'

464. 'You see?

465. 'He likes you.'

466. Can we go home yet?

467. Uh-huh.

468. (Man 1) They're playing this thing on Saturday

469. unless you people stop them.

470. Ask the people that run this theater.

471. Ask them why they're selling this town's kids,

472. your kids, down the river.

473. Look at this. Monsters taking women and...

474. Wait a minute.

475. Have you seen the movie?

476. - No, I haven't, miss. - Uh-huh.

477. I haven't been down and taken a tour of the sewer either,

478. but I know what's down there.

479. (Man 1) This guy Woolsey, his pictures are all the same,

480. a cheap, sick thrill for a bunch of hop-headed teenagers.

481. What about, like, letting people make their own decisions?

482. Oh, sure, let the kids see it.

483. And they'll wake up screaming every night.

484. Let them forget about church and about school...

485. Oh, man. Come On.

486. Sure, and let the fellows at the base come down here, too.

487. (Man 2) Just when this country needs to be strong.

488. Are you saying these people are commies?

489. - No, it's not about politics. - Hold on a minute.

490. It's him!

491. I'm Lawrence Woolsey. Who are you fellows?

492. We're from Citizens for Decent Entertainment, Mr. Woolsey.

493. I've never heard of your organization.

494. Well, you're gonna hear.

495. But I don't think you're being very fair to my movie.

496. They were fair to your movie in Little Rock, pal.

497. - Look what it got 'em. - Full-scale panic. People terrified.

498. (Woman) Let him finish! (Lawrence) Thanks. Uh...

499. I don't have a big speech to make, but...

500. I was under the impression that Key West was a pretty sophisticated place,

501. not like coming to some hick town.

502. (Boy) No, man. Do your worst.

503. (Chuckles) What I would like to do is hand out some free passes,

504. so people can decide for themselves if this movie is really so terrible.

505. - That's fair. - (Lawrence) Now it's true...

506. that my movies show things that others won't show,

507. things that some people say are shocking,

508. things that some people are scared to even imagine.

509. But is that really more terrible than the world we live in every day?

510. That's a real pretty speech, pal.

511. Does that help you sleep nights

512. while you're turning kids into juvenile hoodlums?

513. I sleep like a baby, my friend.

514. - Aren't we gonna get free passes? - Here you go, sonny.

515. Here, maybe you two could decide for yourselves.

516. Thanks, but that's not the way we get our kicks.

517. (Man 3) What about the First Amendment?

518. (Man 1) There's no First Amendment to the Ten Commandments, pal.

519. Herb Denning.

520. I knew it.

521. Stan, before we go out on Saturday,

522. there's something I have to talk to you about.

523. Sure.

524. You probably know that for a while I was seeing this older boy,

525. Harvey Starkweather.

526. I heard that.

527. Well, it was a mistake. I see that now.

528. Although in some ways, he was a very good person.

529. He was really sensitive.

530. Did you know he writes poems?

531. - Really? - Yeah.

532. I could tell you one if you'd like to hear it.

533. Yeah. Well, sometime.

534. OK. Anyway,

535. he used to get himself involved in these things,

536. like holding up liquor stores.

537. It's over now. Although, he did teach me a lot.

538. What about?

539. Well, about my body,

540. my desires,

541. about being a woman.

542. It was very good for me.

543. Stan?

544. You don't think they're gonna shoot off those missiles, do you?

545. No, I don't...

546. Because Harvey was always saying that the whole world's gonna blow up anyway,

547. so we should just do whatever we want.

548. That's crazy.

549. I know.

550. This writer in New York that Harvey sent his poems to

551. said that Harvey was an example of a complete primitive.

552. I could have told him that.

553. Anyway, I don't think they'll set the missiles off.

554. Kennedy and Khrushchev are probably working this whole thing out right now.

555. (Sherry) It makes so much more sense when you explain it, Stan.

556. I know we'll have a good time on Saturday.

557. One thing I thought we might do...

558. They're showing this movie at the Strand where this guy...

559. That sounds really nice, Stan,

560. but over in Mallory Square, they're having a special exhibit on coral.

561. You know, little animals and things people make out of it.

562. That sounds great.

563. OK, so, um, I'll see you there about 1:00.

564. - (Sighs) - Hi.

565. - Hello. - Uh, my name's Gene.

566. I saw you in that air raid drill yesterday.

567. Yeah, the whole world did.

568. What did they do to you?

569. Detention. For a week.

570. Wow!

571. They put Gandhi away for a year.

572. I don't know that many people here.

573. Uh-huh.

574. You're not one of those guys by the tetherball, are you?

575. No, I just met them.

576. Well, I mean, I just moved here this year.

577. I've lived here all my life. You haven't missed much.

578. I thought people were supposed to like it here.

579. Well, it's supposed to be the most wonderful place on earth.

580. The beautiful coral reef,

581. the beautiful hibiscus flower, blah, blah, blah.

582. If it's such a wonderful place,

583. how come the Negro kids have to go to a different school?

584. I don't know. I guess they do that...

585. It's because they're not really supposed to be people.

586. Neither are the Russians.

587. And if they're not real, just go ahead and kill them.

588. Send in the Navy.

589. My dad doesn't want to kill anyone.

590. Who's your dad?

591. He's on one of those ships over by Cuba.

592. - (Sighs) I'm sorry, I didn't... - It's OK.

593. You must be worried about him.

594. Well, I hope he's all right.

595. Thanks.

596. Tell me your name.

597. I'm not mad. I just want to know your name.

598. Stan.

599. Stan, you're gonna have to give me some answers.

600. If you don't, then I'm gonna have to hurt you,

601. and what's that gonna solve?

602. It's not gonna solve anything. Just more pain.

603. Answers?

604. About yourself and Sherry. You're going out with her?

605. Well...

606. We were gonna look at some coral on Saturday.

607. Coral?

608. She likes coral.

609. All those little animals giving up their bodies

610. to make something pink for Sherry.

611. You can't do it, Stan.

612. You can't do anything with her.

613. And you can't tell her we had this little talk.

614. Because the fact that things like this have to happen,

615. it's crazy, you know?

616. Well, uh...

617. - Maybe it doesn't have to happen... - No, Stan, it does.

618. It's like I once wrote in a poem.

619. "Destiny,

620. "it's like a crazy river

621. "where you see different people's boats

622. "that they have going by on it.

623. "But tomorrow,

624. "tomorrow's a knife.

625. "Tomorrow's a big knife."

626. You get it?

627. - Uh, sort of. - (Snaps fingers)

628. It's abstract, Stan.

629. Mr. Woolsey?

630. Hello, son. It's good to see you.

631. - Coming to the show Saturday? - Sure.

632. You know, I was here the other night when you got here.

633. Uh-huh.

634. And you know those two guys

635. who were yelling at you about your movie?

636. Oh, yeah.

637. We get some of those people in every town.

638. Sometimes it's a church group, sometimes it's the PTA.

639. You know, they mean well, but...

640. Yeah, well one of those guys was Herb Denning.

641. He was in The Brain Leeches.

642. He played the third man at the lunch counter.

643. Hmm.

644. Just cruise it around town for a few hours.

645. Schools, Navy base.

646. You see, son,

647. Herb turned against me.

648. OK, he didn't turn against me, he's still working for me.

649. - What's your name? - Gene Loomis.

650. You're very observant, Gene. That's a good habit.

651. Hi, how are you doing? Saturday night, right here.

652. Big show. Don't miss it.

653. Herb's an interesting guy. He used to be kind of, uh...

654. Well, dishonest. Shakedown artist, strong-arm.

655. Someone sent him to collect some money from me

656. just when I needed an inexpensive actor.

657. Isn't it fun to know these things about your favorite stars?

658. - He's pretty good. - Bob's even better.

659. That other guy?

660. But he got himself on the stupid blacklist.

661. That's why he's working for me.

662. Oh, they're both good.

663. It's just hard to get people around here stirred up.

664. Could be this bomb business.

665. I don't have to tell anyone those guys work for you.

666. You want a pass for the show Saturday?

667. - I've already got one. - What do you want?

668. To help you out. I mean, you must have a lot to do.

669. OK, you're with the show for an hour.

670. There you are. What is all this?

671. It's a secret. Can you keep a secret?

672. - I already am. - Right.

673. These are a little surprise for the audience

674. rigged to the seat cushion. Feel that.

675. Giving it to the people right where they need it the most.

676. - Cool. - Mr. Woolsey,

677. this is a national crisis that's going on.

678. If you start vibrating the theater and putting things in the seats

679. - and scaring people... - What is that?

680. CONELRAD. The civil defense channel.

681. They're tied straight into the distant early warning.

682. If there is an attack, they will broadcast on this wavelength

683. a full 90 seconds before we have local sirens up.

684. I really wish you'd...

685. Anyway, you see what I'm saying.

686. The country is on red alert. People are already scared.

687. Exactly.

688. And what a perfect time to open a new horror movie.

689. Think of it, my friend.

690. Millions of people looking over their shoulder

691. waiting for God's other shoe to drop,

692. never knowing if each kiss, each sunset...

693. each malted milk ball might be their last.

694. Please.

695. We're halfway home.

696. We'll fill this place.

697. What's capacity here, by the way?

698. 500 down here and 100 in the balcony.

699. That's all for the balcony?

700. Safety restrictions. Termites, the tropics.

701. - Mr. Woolsey... - Whatever. We'll fill it.

702. The yokels are on pins and needles. (Laughs)

703. Mr. Woolsey, people in Key West are not yokels.

704. Well, then they shouldn't have any problem with it.

705. I'm glad you spoke up.

706. - What a jerk. - Oh, I kind of like him.

707. You know where we can find a hardware store?

708. Yeah, I'll show you.

709. I didn't think anybody would recognize Herb.

710. Do you spend your whole life sitting in monster movies?

711. A lot, yeah.

712. Somebody like Herb or Vincent Price,

713. it's like they're my friends.

714. That's a strange group. What are your real friends like?

715. I don't have too many.

716. My dad's in the Navy, so we move all the time.

717. Oh, man. 500 new kids a year.

718. That's scary.

719. I remember the one time we moved.

720. Now this was to the big town, Hatfield, Missouri.

721. I was petrified of those guys.

722. - Really? - Oh, yeah.

723. But see, now I get my revenge.

724. I get to scare everybody else. But it's for their own good.

725. People who go like this at the scary parts,

726. they're not getting the whole benefit. You gotta keep your eyes open.

727. What's the benefit?

728. OK, like a zillion years ago, a guy is living in a cave.

729. He goes out one day, bam, he gets chased by a mammoth.

730. Now he's scared to death, but he gets away.

731. And when it's all over with, he feels great.

732. Well, yeah, 'cause he's still living.

733. Yeah, but he knows he is and he feels it.

734. So he goes home, back to the cave.

735. The first thing he does, he does a drawing of the mammoth.

736. And he thinks,

737. "People are coming to see this.

738. "Let's make it good.

739. "Let's make the teeth real long and the eyes real mean."

740. Boom!

741. The first monster movie.

742. That's probably why I still do it.

743. Make the teeth as big as you want,

744. then you kill it off, everything's OK, the lights come up...

745. You see, the people come in to your cave

746. with a 200-year-old carpet.

747. The guy tears your ticket in half. It's too late to turn back now.

748. Water fountain's all booby-trapped and ready.

749. There's stuff laid out on the candy counter.

750. Then you come over here to where it's dark.

751. There could be anything in there.

752. And you say,

753. "Here I am.

754. "What have you got for me?"

755. Hey, Larry.

756. Where do you want me to put this thing?

757. Put it next to the "X" on the floor up there, sweets.

758. What "X"?

759. Isn't that"

760. Ruth Corday.

761. She's something, huh?

762. She's got that bearing.

763. All the real stars have that,

764. whether they're moving big equipment or...

765. Whatever. They got it.

766. (Sighs) Yeah.

767. Hey, don't... Don't touch that part up there.

768. I'll get that later. Just leave it.

769. - Is all this stuff yours? - Yeah.

770. Atomo-Vision. Rumble-Rama.

771. It takes a lot more to scare people these days.

772. Too much competition.

773. Give me the pliers, will you, kid?

774. Now they got bombs that will kill a half a million people.

775. Nobody's had a good night's sleep in years.

776. So you gotta have a gimmick, you know?

777. Something a little extra.

778. - (Electrical buzzing) - Hey! That thing's live!

779. I'm sorry.

780. I better go. Um, I'll see you Saturday.

781. Yeah, God willing.

782. Hello?

783. Sherry?

784. It's Stan.

785. Hello, Stan.

786. Um, listen, um...

787. I'm not going to be able to go with you on Saturday.

788. Oh, no? How come?

789. Well, uh...

790. Coach Burnett called and, uh...

791. They want guys to put sand bags up in front of the all-purpose room

792. in case there's a missile attack.

793. Oh, Stan, the all-purpose room?

794. Well, yeah, 'cause it faces south.

795. They think it's gonna take all day, unfortunately.

796. I'm sorry.

797. Well, I understand. That's important. Um...

798. So, we'll just do it next weekend?

799. Uh, yeah.

800. I'll see you at school.

801. Bye, Stan.

802. Hey, Sherry.

803. Dwight, you little brat. Go back and knock first.

804. Uh-uh.

805. You weren't supposed to write to that guy in jail.

806. Give me those.

807. Boy, these are dirty. His poems don't rhyme, you know.

808. They're not supposed to rhyme.

809. - I'm gonna show Mom. - You are not.

810. What do you want?

811. You to take me to the horror movie Saturday.

812. It's got a guy that turns into an ant.

813. Some people throw up at it.

814. How wonderful.

815. - OK. - OK, OK, OK.

816. Neat

817. This one's real hot.

818. Better hold on to it.

819. (Man) You know, we should have elected Nixon.

820. He would have already bombed the Russians.

821. This whole thing would be over with.

822. How you doing?

823. We're doing fine, my friend.

824. Except for this big truckload of sociopathology

825. that's just about to be dumped right out here on Duval Street.

826. We're just dandy.

827. Socio what?

828. This so-called monster movie that's coming here on Saturday.

829. Oh, yeah. I never heard about that.

830. Well, maybe it's time you took a good look

831. at what's going on in your own town, mister.

832. Wake up and smell the coffee.

833. Smell the wreckage of young minds.

834. Gag on it.

835. What's your name, friend?

836. Harvey.

837. Harvey, do you know they let little children see these things, huh?

838. What's the message they put out?

839. That atomic power is nothing but trouble.

840. And it's all right for mutations to rip the clothes off of young women?

841. That's what they teach the youngsters, Harvey.

842. That's a long way from George Washington

843. and the cherry tree, isn't it?

844. Yeah.

845. This is our organization, Harv.

846. Citizens for Decent Entertainment.

847. Gee, can I keep this?

848. Oh, sure. Keep it and read it, Harv.

849. Yeah.

850. Yeah, I will.

851. Harv.

852. I don't think you'll mind if I take this back from you.

853. You must get caught pretty often, Harv.

854. You ever do any time?

855. Yeah, Opa-locka Boys' Reformatory.

856. I just got out. I did seven months.

857. Not long enough. You didn't learn very much.

858. Well, it was supposed to be a year, but, you see, I write poems.

859. And then this guy in New York, he got me out early.

860. Poems?

861. - Yeah, you wanna hear one? - I don't think so, Harv.

862. Are you guys really from that...

863. You know, it's a funny world, Harv.

864. Almost nobody's what they seem to be.

865. And the ones that are, you really have to watch out for.

866. Can we give you some advice?

867. Get yourself a square job, Harv.

868. You're not very good at this.

869. Hold him.

870. And at one hour, twenty-eight minutes,

871. "The End" comes up.

872. Count five, house lights up,

873. those doors open.

874. That's the timetable.

875. Those are the facts.

876. That's not the whole story.

877. I know some of you have never been in the motion picture business before,

878. and some of you have been at it a long time.

879. But I want all of you

880. to look at the faces out here during this picture.

881. There's gonna be room in their heads for only one thought,

882. "Don't let it get me."

883. They know we can't hurt 'em,

884. but they're still gonna be scared half to death.

885. And all of you,

886. when you thread the projector,

887. when you tear the tickets,

888. when you sell the jujubes,

889. you're all a part of it.

890. And just when it gets the worst,

891. when they're sitting there and their hearts are going

892. like little trapped animals out here in the dark,

893. we save them.

894. And they say, "Hey,

895. "it's all right.

896. "Thank God!

897. "Hey, can I see that again?"

898. P.S., no, they can't.

899. We clear between shows.

900. That was wonderful, Larry. I'm all a tremble.

901. Thanks.

902. Where are the guys applying for the job?

903. Only one showed up. I sent him to try the suit on.

904. Only one?

905. How many people are going to want to dress up in a rubber Mant suit?

906. Hey! Not bad. Lawrence Woolsey.

907. (Muffled) Harvey Starkweather.

908. Take your head off.

909. Harvey Starkweather.

910. What kind of job exactly do you...

911. It's just a one-day thing. Some of it is running electrical stuff.

912. Switches and things back here behind the screen.

913. But, now the other part, you have to scare people.

914. (Chuckling) Really shake them up.

915. Think you can do that?

916. - Yeah. I could do that real well. - Good.

917. Because when you put the suit on,

918. when you hit these switches, those people...

919. This is where I came in.

920. Those people out there in the dark...

921. - (Door closing) - (Mrs. Loomis) Fred. Oh, my God!

922. (Fred Loomis) Shh. You'll wake the kids up.

923. Help me put this down.

924. (Mrs. Loomis) Are you kidding? I'll go wake them up right now.

925. (Fred Loomis) I would have called you to say that it was over,

926. but they say they want to keep a lid on it.

927. Dad?

928. (Woman) See the nurse before the show.

929. (Radio announcer) 'Major Rudolf Anderson,

930. 'a Navy pilot from South Carolina,

931. 'was shot down by a Russian missile over Cuba earlier today,

932. 'and is presumed dead.

933. 'Anderson, the first known casualty of the showdown,

934. 'was one of the pilots

935. 'whose reconnaissance first revealed the presence

936. 'of Soviet missiles in Cuba. President Kennedy...'

937. I hope this thing closes faster than it opens.

938. 30 seconds. All right, let's add it up.

939. Office to stairwell, 58 seconds.

940. Stairwell to shelter, 11 seconds.

941. Zero hour checklist, 15 seconds.

942. Check air-intake level, eight seconds.

943. Automatic door, 28 seconds.

944. Eight and eight are 16, plus five is 21, 22...

945. Stan, how's it going?

946. Hey, any of you guys seen Gene?

947. So!

948. - Sherry! - Neat!

949. So, this is how you're spending your day?

950. Not sandbagging the all-purpose room, not with me.

951. - Down here at the monster show? - No!

952. - See, I... - That's very mature, Stan.

953. Who's that?

954. That's nobody.

955. I'm telling anyway.

956. Sherry! Wait!

957. - The all-purpose room? - (Laughs)

958. Oh, man.

959. Sign here, please.

960. But what are these things for?

961. It's a release form.

962. It says it's not our fault if the movie scares you to death.

963. Wow.

964. It's not a joke.

965. We've had 10-year-old kids having heart attacks at this movie.

966. They're recovering, but we can't be exposed legally.

967. Now, if you don't sign...

968. But we're not scared. Are we, Dennis?

969. No.

970. Nurse! I cut my elbow.

971. That looks terrible. Next!

972. (Ruth) Sign here, please.

973. Hey, lookit!

974. Sandra.

975. Hi.

976. I didn't know you like monster movies.

977. I'm here with my parents.

978. - Here she is. Whoa! - Oh, God!

979. - Oh, that's disgusting. - Ew!

980. - I know, Rhonda. - Ew...

981. Well, the point isn't whether we like it or not,

982. the point is, you know, if we start letting them tell us

983. what movies we can see or what music we can listen to, then...

984. I know, Jack.

985. Oh! Um... (Chuckles nervously)

986. OK, well, we'll see you later.

987. - OK. Yeah. Bye. - (Jack) Bye.

988. Those two for real?

989. Of course they're real. They're my parents.

990. They're great, you know.

991. So what actually happens in this?

992. It's just a movie.

993. Right. Well, I just heard they had some other things.

994. Well, there's some stuff to make it scarier.

995. Now when the guy in the movie says,

996. "You don't understand. My wife is in there. My God, look out!"

997. That's cue number five.

998. You turn one up to four, two up to three.

999. Now, for cue number six, one goes to five, two goes to seven,

1000. but you never, ever turn one above six.

1001. - Right. - Now this stuff over here.

1002. The guy's gonna say,

1003. "Stay down low and don't look. Those are atomic weapons."

1004. Bip, bip, bip, bip, bip.

1005. OK.

1006. You're not a bad-looking kid. Ever done any acting?

1007. How do you do it?

1008. Never mind. Go put your costume on.

1009. Do you like poetry?

1010. - (Newscaster on radio) - Just the man I was looking for.

1011. That's some audience you brought in here.

1012. They're practically tearing the place to shreds.

1013. I would like to be paid in cash as soon as the show is in.

1014. As a matter of fact, I'd like to be paid in cash for both shows.

1015. Mr. Woolsey, we've never shorted anyone.

1016. Really? Well, you should learn how.

1017. The roar of the crowd.

1018. Hi, how are you? Good to see you.

1019. Enjoy the show.

1020. No running!

1021. (All) We want Mant! We want Mant!

1022. We want Mant! We want Mant!

1023. We want Mant! We want Mant!

1024. Down here looks good.

1025. (All) We want Mant! We want Mant!

1026. 'Hello, I'm Lawrence Woolsey.

1027. 'The feeling at this atomic test site is an anxious one.

1028. 'But then, you're about to see for yourselves what I mean.

1029. 'My terrifying new process, Atomo-Vision,

1030. 'puts you, the audience, at ground zero.

1031. 'Not a safe place to be.

1032. 'But today, there is no safe place to be.'

1033. How are we doing, nurse?

1034. Just too dazzled by show business to speak, Larry.

1035. That's the stuff.

1036. (Man) Hey, Wooly!

1037. Mr. Spector.

1038. - Hey, how's it going? - Sensational.

1039. Ruth, this is Mr. Spector from Megalopolitan Theaters.

1040. Enchanté.

1041. - I'm up here. - Oh.

1042. Hello, Mr. Spector.

1043. How are you, Harold? How are the numbers?

1044. It's Howard. We're sold out.

1045. Fantastic. What did I tell you?

1046. You told me I wouldn't have to wear this uniform anymore.

1047. The question is how the picture will play with an audience.

1048. That's what I'll be watching with great interest.

1049. - What the hell is that? - War news.

1050. - Oh, you got a bet on it? - (Turns radio off)

1051. When you see what I've got cooked up...

1052. Wait till you see the feelers on this thing.

1053. I'm sure it's wonderful.

1054. I'm sorry.

1055. That's all the balcony can safely hold.

1056. - There's a few seats in front. - Oh, man!

1057. (Woman on screen) 'It all started out so innocently

1058. 'with one of those dental check-ups you're supposed to get every six months.

1059. 'I guess Bill and I always thought if you just do what you're supposed to,

1060. 'then life works out for you.'

1061. - Corn? - 'How wrong we were.'

1062. (Man on screen) 'You're lucky to be alive, Bill.'

1063. 'I wish I was dead.'

1064. 'How could such a thing happen, Dr. Grabow?'

1065. 'X-rays, Carole. A form of radiation.

1066. 'An ant must have bitten Bill when he was having his teeth X-rayed.

1067. 'I've been meaning to have the office fumigated,

1068. 'but I've just been too darn busy.

1069. 'Anyway, the ant's saliva must have gotten into Bill's bloodstream

1070. 'and gone straight to his brain, just as the radiation,

1071. 'which is measured in units called rontgens, was released.'

1072. 'And that's how he became a...'

1073. 'mant.'

1074. (Carole) 'Oh, Bill.'

1075. (Dr. Grabow 'He's in a kind of biological no-man's-land.

1076. - 'Somewhere between... - Gene.

1077. '... the insect kingdom and our own.'

1078. (Carole) 'Is it reversible?'

1079. (Dr. Grabow 'I'm afraid not, Carole.

1080. - 'Once a radioactive event...' - Excuse me.

1081. - has taken place...' - 'So I'll always be this thing.'

1082. 'Don't say that, darling. You're still Bill. You're still my Bill.'

1083. So, where were you?

1084. Look, I wasn't trying to get out of anything.

1085. I had a date with Sherry. We were going to look at coral animals.

1086. Mmm-hmm. So, what happened?

1087. Harvey Starkweather. Basically said he'd kill me.

1088. Now she's here with her brother and she wants to kill me.

1089. 'Tell the truth, honey.

1090. 'If I looked like this when we first met...'

1091. 'I would have been afraid, Bill.

1092. 'I would have been very afraid.'

1093. Hey, can I sit with you guys at least?

1094. Sure.

1095. Isn't that that "Ban the bomb" girl you're with?

1096. We're just sitting together.

1097. You hound!

1098. 'By the way, I did get your X-rays back, Bill.

1099. 'I don't suppose it makes much difference to you now,

1100. 'but you didn't have a single cavity.'

1101. - 'Swell.' - 'Come in.'

1102. (Dr. Grabow) 'Welcome, Doctor.'

1103. (Bill) 'Oh, who's this guy?'

1104. 'I took the liberty of inviting Dr. Flankon here.

1105. 'He's with the Office of Unforeseen Atomic Events in Washington.'

1106. 'Young man,

1107. 'I'm afraid you've suffered some of the worst of what

1108. 'our mighty little friend, the atom, has to offer.

1109. 'It can power a city, or level it.'

1110. (Carole) 'But how can it cause this?'

1111. (Dr. Flankon) 'Young lady, human-insect mutation

1112. 'is far from an exact science,

1113. 'but there are some things we do know.

1114. 'You will continue to metamorphose, or change,

1115. 'taking on more antlike characteristics.

1116. 'And you'll grow.

1117. 'Become bigger.'

1118. 'I'm sorry, Bill.'

1119. 'Sorry? Do you think this is some kind of picnic for me?'

1120. 'Did you hear what I just said?

1121. 'Picnic! Get it? Ants. Picnic.'

1122. 'What am I, alone here? That's funny.

1123. - 'Isn't it funny?' - (Carole) 'Doctor, watch out!'

1124. (Dr. Grabow 'Help! Help!'

1125. (Carole) 'What's happening to him?'

1126. (Dr. Flankon) 'He's all right.

1127. 'Any ant would react to a small dose in the same way.

1128. 'You're just seeing it in a magnified, or larger form.'

1129. - (Bill gagging) - 'Oh, Bill.'

1130. (Bill) 'Thanks, Doc. I needed that.'

1131. (Carole) 'We said we would try and live a normal life,

1132. 'but we were kidding ourselves.'

1133. (Bill) 'Crumbs! How long can I exist on crumbs?

1134. 'I'm hungry!

1135. 'I'll show you!

1136. 'Go, my brothers and sisters! Go! You're free! Free!'

1137. - 'No, Bill!' - (He laughs)

1138. 'Behold! The great emancipator! And now to go downtown.'

1139. 'No, Bill. You mustn't. I'll call Dr. Grabow.'

1140. 'Get away from the telephone, Carole.

1141. 'Don't make me use this.'

1142. Gotcha!

1143. (Carole) 'Oh, Bill, if you could just listen to the man in you

1144. - 'and put the insect aside.' - 'Insecticide? Where?'

1145. 'No. No. I mean...

1146. 'Doctor, he belongs at a hospital, not in a prison.'

1147. 'Where would you have me send him?

1148. 'To a funny farm or an ant farm?'

1149. 'How could you be so cruel?'

1150. 'And how could you not love me

1151. 'now that I'm the only real man in your life?'

1152. 'Just kidding, Bill.'

1153. (Dr. Flankon) 'Electricity plus atomic energy.

1154. 'Now he'll grow at an accelerated, or speeded up, rate.'

1155. - 'Are you all right?' - 'I hope so.'

1156. 'We'll have to have that bite looked at, though.'

1157. 'Uh-huh.'

1158. 'Good Lord, he's becoming huge!

1159. 'Who can possibly stop him the way he... Look out!

1160. 'He's breaking through the roof!'

1161. (TV newscaster) 'The American blockade has intercepted one ship,

1162. 'the Soviet cargo vessel Marucla, which was boarded by armed sailors

1163. 'from two US destroyers this morning.

1164. 'That inspection was described as tense, but no weapons were found.

1165. 'And so, today, an anxious world holds its breath,

1166. 'waiting for the next confrontation, waiting for the next rumor of war.

1167. 'The Presidential Press Secretary, Pierre Salinger,

1168. 'has scheduled a statement.'

1169. Sherry.

1170. Oh, hello.

1171. - Gene. - Gene. Yes.

1172. I hope you and your friend Stan are enjoying the show.

1173. I'll have a Hershey bar and popcorn, please.

1174. - Could I talk to you for a minute? - What about?

1175. About Stan. This wasn't his fault today.

1176. He really wanted to go see the coral with you.

1177. I find that hard to believe.

1178. Well, it wasn't the coral so much.

1179. See, Stan likes you. He really likes you.

1180. Well, he certainly has a strange way of showing it.

1181. He was probably afraid that you'd think it was childish to...

1182. To be here?

1183. I do.

1184. Yeah. Well, he was going to go with you but,

1185. then he remembered he said he'd go to this movie

1186. with me and my little brother.

1187. Well, you see, Stan kind of calms Dennis down

1188. when he gets scared.

1189. - He's like an uncle to him. - To your brother?

1190. Sure.

1191. And he knew Dennis was really looking forward to it.

1192. And he said, "I can't do it. I can't let the little guy down."

1193. Well, that's sweet of him, thinking about a little boy.

1194. - Well, we're missing it. - Go away, Dwight.

1195. I'm telling.

1196. That's the kind of guy Stan is.

1197. He just thought with our dad being out there,

1198. he didn't want Dennis being alone in here.

1199. And with you living out on the base and being less advantaged...

1200. - That is moving. - I know.

1201. 'Hold your fire!'

1202. 'What in creation do you call that thing?'

1203. 'Bill.'

1204. 'Bill, this is General Ankrum.

1205. 'Surrender now. Come down off that building.

1206. 'We've got sugar for you!'

1207. 'Men, fire your DDT missiles.'

1208. (Man on radio) 'Your major cities, resort areas...

1209. 'It's all going to be looking like the surface of the moon down there.

1210. 'But people should be prepared to...'

1211. This is it!

1212. (General) 'A direct hit! It didn't even stun it.'

1213. - Sherry. - Stan.

1214. Gene explained everything to me. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize.

1215. (General) 'Well, there's only one thing left.'

1216. (Soldier) 'No, General.' (General) 'Yes. Atomic weapons.'

1217. Zero hour checklist.

1218. Fish food.

1219. 'Quickly! It's headed for that movie theater!'

1220. 'It? But don't you understand?

1221. 'He's not a monster, he's a shoe salesman.'

1222. 'Would you let that fit you in a pump?'

1223. A real general wouldn't say that.

1224. Shut up.

1225. - (Screaming on screen) - (Growling)

1226. 'Look out! Behind you! Oh, what is it?'

1227. 'It came out of the screen!'

1228. Hey, don't worry, Dennis. It's just some guy in a suit. OK?

1229. - 'Look out! There in the 10th row.' - 'It's in the theater!'

1230. (Man) 'How could this happen?'

1231. (Man) 'Look out!'

1232. He looks mad, doesn't he?

1233. - 'Run for your lives!' - 'Don't let it get you!'

1234. 'Oh, no, it's got a hold of someone!'

1235. 'Run! Run!'

1236. Jesus, what the hell is he doing to that kid?

1237. Hey! You're supposed to scare them, you idiot.

1238. Hey, come back!

1239. (Man on screen) 'Wait! It's leaving! It's going outside!'

1240. 'Oh, thank God!'

1241. 'What was it?'

1242. You see what he's putting back? The showmanship.

1243. This, to my mind, is what's been missing.

1244. (Carole) 'Do you really think these atomic things will change Bill back?'

1245. (General) 'You like to talk, Doc. You tell her.'

1246. That kid isn't laying a hand on me, Larry.

1247. - There are limits. - OK, OK. I'll talk to him.

1248. Great stuff.

1249. (Carole) 'Oh, Bill.'

1250. (Muffled) Stop! Don't shoot!

1251. - Stan! - (Stan) In here.

1252. Stan?

1253. What happened? That guy was crazy.

1254. I don't know, man. But I scared him away with this.

1255. Look at this.

1256. Yeah, I know. It's a fallout shelter. We've got one at home.

1257. You see this thing? It purifies the air so you don't breathe in the fallout.

1258. What's this thing for?

1259. Nothing.

1260. And this bike?

1261. Generator. To run the lights and everything.

1262. You see, there's a shower here, and there's books if you get really bored.

1263. There's no phone.

1264. om Right.

1265. What?

1266. Who... What are you doing in here?

1267. Get out! The door is closing! Get out!

1268. Hurry up! Hurry up! It's happening!

1269. This is it! The bombs are falling!

1270. - Let me out! - (Howard) Let me in!

1271. We're locked in.

1272. Listen.

1273. Was that it? Was that really it?

1274. I don't know.

1275. I can't find him anywhere.

1276. And he went out this door and he was scared and...

1277. OK. OK. I love you. Bye.

1278. 'Why is this terrible thing happening?

1279. 'I have been over and over it in my mind, and I just can't find an answer.

1280. 'All night long, I lie awake thinking,

1281. "'Why? Why? Why does it have to happen?"

1282. 'You're a doctor. Tell me.'

1283. 'I wish I knew, Carole.

1284. 'I wish I knew.'

1285. - You wrote this, too, did you? - Yeah.

1286. Excuse me a minute.

1287. It's not fair! It's supposed to be for me!

1288. Hey. Did you see that kid in the ant suit?

1289. Woolsey, the Russians have attacked. The bombs are falling.

1290. You saw this on TV?

1291. No, it went out. They must have hit the TV stations first.

1292. And then, I mean, everything started shaking from the blast waves.

1293. Oh, my God.

1294. It's not the Russians.

1295. It's Rumble-Rama.

1296. What?

1297. That stupid kid I hired, he probably turned all my stuff up way too high.

1298. Did you hear any air raid sirens?

1299. No, but...

1300. What about your radio, your CONELRAD?

1301. My radio.

1302. (Stammering) My radio is in my office.

1303. Well. Well, I guess everything is...

1304. There are two kids in there, in my fallout shelter.

1305. Let 'em out.

1306. I can't. It's on a time lock. It won't open for months.

1307. It's not my fault.

1308. - Is there food? - Yes, but...

1309. I forgot to set the air-intake blower.

1310. The which?

1311. (Howard) The air-intake blower. It brings the air in.

1312. It's got a fallout filter, but if you don't set it...

1313. - You mean, there's no air in there? - There won't be soon.

1314. Dandy. Well, we'll have to pop this off right here.

1315. Go see if you can find us a couple of crowbars and hammers.

1316. Sure.

1317. They guaranteed it couldn't be opened.

1318. - Who? - The people who sold it to me.

1319. Boy, am I in the wrong business.

1320. Gene...

1321. Yeah.

1322. What if we're the only ones that made it into one of these things in time?

1323. Then...

1324. Then we'd be the only people in the whole world.

1325. It's like we're...

1326. Like we're what?

1327. Adam and Eve.

1328. I mean, if there are still gonna be people aftewards.

1329. Babies.

1330. Well, yeah.

1331. Then, maybe they will be the ones that will live here without blowing it up.

1332. It's our responsibility to carry on.

1333. That's right.

1334. Are you scared?

1335. Yeah.

1336. Me, too.

1337. - Mom! - Yes. Are you OK?

1338. Gene and Mant went out the door with him.

1339. - Hi. Are you Gene's mom? - Yeah.

1340. How can this be a free speech issue?

1341. (Mrs Loomis) Now that ant can't hurt you.

1342. So, don't be scared, OK, Dennis?

1343. - Ants. - American movies.

1344. Where is he?

1345. Well, you see, Gene and this girl Sandra got stuck in...

1346. Sandra? My Sandra?

1347. 'Good Lord!'

1348. 'Bill! Put that down!'

1349. Hey, quit it, you guys!

1350. Young man, I want you to wait for me right here and don't you move.

1351. Don't move.

1352. (Gene) There's something alive!

1353. They want to get in. We have to let them in!

1354. - But the radiation... - That doesn't matter.

1355. Sandra!

1356. What are you doing?

1357. Oh, Rhonda!

1358. - Mom! - Oh, my God!

1359. - Are you OK? - Looks like he's doing OK to me.

1360. Thank you.

1361. We thought everyone else was dead.

1362. You were acting like everyone else was dead.

1363. Your brother has been terrified...

1364. Excuse me! Excuse me.

1365. Excuse me. Excuse me.

1366. Stan, do you really have one of those shelters at your house?

1367. Yeah, down in the basement.

1368. Nice to meet you. He usually doesn't even meet people.

1369. - Is the boy military? - Oh, God.

1370. Well, it's rough, kid. But on the plus side, the world's still here.

1371. No, no, no, no. It's just that stupid kid.

1372. He's going crazy with my stuff.

1373. - 'Where'd he go?' - 'It lost us.'

1374. 'There it is!'

1375. - 'Stop it! Someone stop it!' - 'He's got that woman!'

1376. 'She's a nurse!'

1377. 'Where's he taking her?'

1378. 'After him!'

1379. - (Stammers) 'But it's so...' - 'So what?

1380. 'You know what something like that will do to a human woman?'

1381. I told Larry I'm not doing this. Don't you put a hand on me.

1382. - Come on! Put me down. - Beautiful! Beautiful!

1383. Let go of me. You're not even going the right way, you jerk.

1384. You're supposed to go out to the lobby!

1385. Hey, what are you... Put me down, you moron!

1386. That Woolsey's a genius.

1387. 'You can't drop an atomic bomb on Chicago!'

1388. 'We've evacuated the civilians to a safe place, Doctor.'

1389. (Dr. Flankon) 'Safe from fallout? From radiation poisoning?'

1390. No more screaming, or I'll cut you.

1391. There they are.

1392. (Dr. Flankon) 'He's just a bug. A big bug.'

1393. He's got a knife.

1394. And it's a big knife. Give me the money fast.

1395. (General) 'A million dollars' worth of radar can't track it.

1396. 'Enough firepower to wipe out a regiment can't even scratch it.'

1397. Come on, Sherry.

1398. You're coming with me. We're going far away from here.

1399. No! Please don't hurt her. No!

1400. No! No, don't...

1401. It's like a poem I once wrote.

1402. "The road, the sacred pavement. We are the traffic.

1403. "We are what we traffic in.

1404. "And the truck stops here.

1405. "It's no skin off my asphalt.

1406. "It's just a line, just a yellow line.

1407. "My socks are red and I'm ready to ride."

1408. What does she see in that guy?

1409. No, hold it, son. We'll call the police.

1410. Give me the police.

1411. It's still shaking. You feel it?

1412. Help me, somebody!

1413. Help! Somebody help me! Help!

1414. 'Once we so cleverly let that atomic genie out of its bottle,

1415. 'there's no putting it back, gentlemen.'

1416. (Lawrence) Wow. That thing's ready to drop.

1417. We've got to get everybody off of there.

1418. - Do we turn off the movie? - Then they stomp. Come on.

1419. 'It's a different world now from the one we knew only a few short years ago.'

1420. What's going on?

1421. We're gonna have to get a little ahead of the picture here.

1422. Make sure the aisles are clear.

1423. Open the back doors, will you, hon?

1424. Kid, heat up number two for me, will you?

1425. 'But I don't understand.

1426. 'Why would you want to examine me now...'

1427. Clear the aisles, please. Please take your seats.

1428. I saw that.

1429. 'Cause your appointment is today, Carole.

1430. 'People will always find a reason to put it off.

1431. 'That's the kind of thing people like to do.'

1432. 'Yes. But after everything that's happened, maybe you...'

1433. 'Maybe I'm what?

1434. 'Unfit to work on people's precious little teeth?'

1435. Hey, give that to me!

1436. 'Why are you keeping your hand...'

1437. 'Because it's not my hand, Carole! It's not a hand at all!

1438. 'Not since Bill bit me!'

1439. Jesus! This is it!

1440. Hey! Hey, look!

1441. It's still here. I don't believe it. It's all still here.

1442. - It's all right. - What the hell are you doing?

1443. I was in the theater. They had the atomic bomb.

1444. - I thought the world... - (Man) Get away from me!

1445. Man, I'm seeing this twice.

1446. Come on, guys. Let's go. No tripping, no running.

1447. Nurse! Nurse! Look, this guy fainted!

1448. You're right. Everybody, let's go. Out that door.

1449. - (Sherry) Watch out! - (Car horn blaring)

1450. (Man) Stay back! Stay back!

1451. - (Harvey) Sherry! Sherry! - No!

1452. - Stan! - Sherry!

1453. Oh, thank God you got here. I was so scared.

1454. - (Harvey) Sherry! - You were wonderful.

1455. I was?

1456. (Mrs. Loomis) Dennis!

1457. Dennis!

1458. - He was down here. Dennis! - Dennis!

1459. Mom!

1460. Help!

1461. Dennis!

1462. (Quietly) Dennis, hold out your hand.

1463. (Gene) Give me your hand.

1464. Come on, give me your hand.

1465. OK, that's it. That's it. Come on.

1466. Nice and slowly.

1467. Come on. Come on. Reach for me.

1468. (Dennis) Oh!

1469. Gene!

1470. OK. That's it.

1471. (Mrs. Loomis) Dennis! (Dennis) Mom!

1472. Mom! Gene! Help me!

1473. Gene, pull me up!

1474. - Please don't let me go. - (Mrs. Loomis) Pull him up, OK?

1475. Pull me up!

1476. Oh, sweetheart.

1477. (Dennis) It's burning.

1478. No, it's not.

1479. - There's no fire in there. - No, I turned it off.

1480. Folks, we won't be having a second show today.

1481. - You're kidding! - What?

1482. We will be giving you each a free pass to a future presentation.

1483. Wait a minute! My son's been waiting three weeks to see this movie.

1484. You tell him he can't see this movie. You tell him!

1485. Hey, Woolsey!

1486. This crowd is turning into a mob! Congratulations.

1487. Hey, let me ask you something. Excuse me.

1488. Do you own that process?

1489. Yep. It's something I've been working on for a while.

1490. Some of it is stage lighting, some of it is magic show stuff,

1491. but the big studios, none of them have anything like it.

1492. You know why? They're dinosaurs. No vision.

1493. - They were scared, weren't they? - Terrified.

1494. Might even want to tone it down a little.

1495. Sure. Normally, you can let the people leave the theater at their own pace.

1496. Easier on the carpets, you know what I mean?

1497. Also, I'm still concerned about that bomb thing.

1498. Little question of taste?

1499. No, no. But your younger patrons, you could have some seat wetness.

1500. This I see as a definite drawback.

1501. Right. Hey, you know what wouldn't be bad?

1502. Ghosts.

1503. They come through the screen, fly over the heads of the audience...

1504. Ghosts that drip blood.

1505. - Drip it on the audience? - That was my thought.

1506. I can see it all now. Blood-o-scope, Bleed-o-rama.

1507. - You wrecked my theater. - I did not. He did.

1508. Sherry!

1509. Sherry!

1510. It was great, Mr. Woolsey.

1511. You know, it's kind of hard to believe that you're a grown-up.

1512. No kidding.

1513. Why, you think grown-ups know what they're doing?

1514. That's a hustle, kid.

1515. Grown-ups are making it up as they go along, just like you do.

1516. You remember that, you'll be fine.

1517. - That's beautiful, Mr. Woolsey. - No trouble.

1518. Nurse?

1519. - But he... - Will you stop worrying?

1520. The insurance will cover it.

1521. In fact, I'd leave the balcony out. I'd put two more screens up there.

1522. The sound leaks so people will hear two pictures for the price of one.

1523. The wave of the future.

1524. (Gene) I'll call you. (Sandra) I'll call you, too.

1525. (Rhonda) Nice to meet you. (Mrs. Loomis) Yes, goodbye.

1526. (Newscaster) 'The announcement came in a communique

1527. 'from Chairman Khrushchev to President Kennedy

1528. 'saying that the Soviets would dismantle the missiles on Cuba

1529. 'and return them to the Soviet Union.

1530. 'Quoting now...'

1531. Gene! Dennis! Come in here!

1532. and to reassure the American people,

1533. '"all of whom, I am certain also want peace..."'

1534. It's over.

1535. "'As do the people of the Soviet Union."'

1536. 'The Pentagon said that the American naval quarantine of Cuba would be ended,

1537. 'and that the ships would be returning to their home ports

1538. 'by the end of the week.

1539. 'And so, a sigh of relief now around the world

1540. 'as two of the great powers pull back from the nuclear abyss.'

1541. Amazing! You won't believe the kind of ink we're getting.

1542. Look at this.

1543. - "Horror stunt saves patrons' lives." - Where?

1544. Oh, down there.

1545. Yeah. Well we're up against this Cuba thing.

1546. Anyway, Spector's getting us into 60 theaters.

1547. - How do you like the car, kid? - It's great.

1548. - Well, we're off to the opening. - Cleveland.

1549. - Congratulations. - Exactly.

1550. Honey.

1551. So now, you two, was that your first date?

1552. - Yeah. - Hard to top.

1553. You guys will do it, though.

1554. Well...

1555. better be rolling.

1556. - So keep your eyes open. - (Gene) I will.

1557. (Ruth) Bye.

1558. - Keep your eyes open for what? - The scary parts.

1559. Oh.

1560. Nice kids.

1561. That wouldn't be bad, you know, to have a couple of kids.

1562. We'd have to be married for that, Larry.

1563. Yeah, I know.

1564. Boy, you are the shock expert.

1565. Think about it.

1566. Did you see the look on those two?

1567. It's like their whole life got called off and then,

1568. "No, wait a second. Sorry, it's on again."

1569. That's how everybody looks now.

1570. People are walking around, "Ah, they made it safe."

1571. Uh-huh.

1572. How long do you give that?

1573. Couple of weeks, a couple of years, and bang,

1574. somebody else comes along with another way for the world to end.

1575. Only this time they mean it.

1576. Yeah. Well at least those two got a jump on it.

1577. Huh?

1578. They've seen the coming attractions.

1579. (Sighs) 'Oh, Bill.'