1. Hey!Copy !req
2. Are you single?Copy !req
3. I'm a matchmaker at Adore.Copy !req
4. Please give me a call if
you want to meet somebody.Copy !req
5. We have a lot
of great matches for you.Copy !req
6. Talk soon.Copy !req
7. James, hi.Copy !req
8. Thanks for calling me back.Copy !req
9. Um, I just wanted to get some
feedback on your first dateCopy !req
10. with my client Sophie.Copy !req
11. I'm actually on my way
to meet her right now...Copy !req
12. but I had a quick chat
with her this morning...Copy !req
13. and the headline is,
she had a great timeCopy !req
14. and would love
to see you again.Copy !req
15. Hello? James?Copy !req
16. Yeah, I'd like to be
taken off the service.Copy !req
17. May I ask why?Copy !req
18. I thought you were
going to set me upCopy !req
19. with high-quality women.Copy !req
20. I said: a fit woman in her 30s
with a nice smile.Copy !req
21. She's 40 and fat.Copy !req
22. - She's 39.
- 39 is not 30s, that's 40.Copy !req
23. I would never swipe right
on a woman like that.Copy !req
24. I'm sorry you feel that way.Copy !req
25. I'm so happy.Copy !req
26. You did it, Lucy.Copy !req
27. When you said that he's 47
and only makes 150K a year...Copy !req
28. I almost said no, but I'm
really happy I trusted you.Copy !req
29. I know it's only been one dateCopy !req
30. and I need to
manage my expectations...Copy !req
31. but this is probably the best
first date I've ever had!Copy !req
32. Uh, Sophie, so I just got off
the phone with him.Copy !req
33. And he loved meeting you,Copy !req
34. he had a great time...Copy !req
35. But he doesn't feel like
the chemistryCopy !req
36. is there for him at this time.Copy !req
37. So.Copy !req
38. Onward and upward.Copy !req
39. He doesn't want a second date?Copy !req
40. No.Copy !req
41. He's balding.Copy !req
42. How fucking dare he?Copy !req
43. Dating is a risk.Copy !req
44. You took a risk. It's brave.Copy !req
45. Why did you set me up
with someone like that?Copy !req
46. He checked
a lot of our boxes...Copy !req
47. and you checked a lot of his.Copy !req
48. So, onwards and upwards.Copy !req
49. Let's talk about
your next match.Copy !req
50. I have an amazing guy for you.Copy !req
51. His name is Mark,
he's a doctor,Copy !req
52. he's very handsome...Copy !req
53. he has a full head of hair,
he's 48.Copy !req
54. That's almost 50.Copy !req
55. He looks great for 48.Copy !req
56. He's very fit.
He looks like he's 40.Copy !req
57. - How tall?
- 5'11".Copy !req
58. Is he actually 5'11" or is he
actually 5'9" and is lying?Copy !req
59. What's a couple of inches?Copy !req
60. I don't want
to waste my time.Copy !req
61. I am not asking for a miracle.Copy !req
62. I'm just asking
for the bare minimum.Copy !req
63. I'm trying to settle.Copy !req
64. Sophie.Copy !req
65. I know how it feels right now.Copy !req
66. But I promise you...Copy !req
67. you're going to marry
the love of your life.Copy !req
68. I don't believe you.Copy !req
69. That's okay.Copy !req
70. I believe it.Copy !req
71. Girl of the hour!Copy !req
72. Tonight, we're all gatheredCopy !req
73. to celebrate
the most talented Lucy.Copy !req
74. One hell of a matchmaker
with razor-sharp instincts...Copy !req
75. and an eagle eye for chemistry
because this weekend...Copy !req
76. her client Charlotte B.
is getting married!Copy !req
77. Charlotte B.
is marrying Peter C.Copy !req
78. The Prince CharmingCopy !req
79. Lucy matched her with
20 months ago.Copy !req
80. How many marriages are you
responsible for now, Lucy?Copy !req
81. Nine.Copy !req
82. Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!Copy !req
83. Lucy, do a speech!Copy !req
84. Speech! Speech!
Speech! Speech!Copy !req
85. Okay.Copy !req
86. My speech is...Copy !req
87. that if the girl asks forCopy !req
88. a 6-foot-tall
drink of water...Copy !req
89. in his 40s with a salary
over 500 grandCopy !req
90. and a... good hairline...Copy !req
91. you deliver.Copy !req
92. How did it go
with Sophie L. today?Copy !req
93. It took our membership team
an hour to get her to renew.Copy !req
94. Hopeless.Copy !req
95. I'm afraid there's not
a single man in New York CityCopy !req
96. that'll date this girl.Copy !req
97. What seems to be the issue?Copy !req
98. That's the thing. There is
nothing wrong with her.Copy !req
99. She's okay attractive...Copy !req
100. okay money, okay educated,
okay personality.Copy !req
101. There's just not
a standout quality.Copy !req
102. She's not competitive
in the mainstream market...Copy !req
103. and there is
no niche market for her.Copy !req
104. Exactly.Copy !req
105. And if there's
no specialty appeal...Copy !req
106. then there's no place
for her in any market.Copy !req
107. That is tough.Copy !req
108. And she's my
favorite client right now.Copy !req
109. I mean, she's entitled
like everyone,Copy !req
110. but she's sweet...Copy !req
111. and she's realistic,
she's not crazy.Copy !req
112. She's a nice girl.Copy !req
113. There's got to be
a guy out thereCopy !req
114. who just wants a nice girl.Copy !req
115. What about Mark P.?Copy !req
116. He's okay.Copy !req
117. I pitched him
to her already.Copy !req
118. She's afraid
he's not actually 5'11".Copy !req
119. And I'm like,
can we please not worryCopy !req
120. about a couple inches
right now?Copy !req
121. Because you're
about to die alone.Copy !req
122. You know
there's a surgery for that.Copy !req
123. For dying alone?Copy !req
124. For getting taller.Copy !req
125. Up to six inches.Copy !req
126. You break your legs, and...Copy !req
127. extend it,
let the bone heal itself.Copy !req
128. That's a game changer.Copy !req
129. It costs like 200K.Copy !req
130. Six inches can double
a man's value in the market.Copy !req
131. If you can afford it,Copy !req
132. it's definitely
worth the investment.Copy !req
133. What's the saying?Copy !req
134. "You're not ugly,
you just don't have money."Copy !req
135. Right.Copy !req
136. Do you have a dress
picked out for the wedding?Copy !req
137. Yes.Copy !req
138. Are you going alone?Copy !req
139. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
140. Lucy M.:
The Eternal Bachelorette.Copy !req
141. A voluntary celibate.Copy !req
142. Do you want me to set you up
with someone?Copy !req
143. No, I'm gonna die alone.Copy !req
144. Or get a rich husband.Copy !req
145. Same thing.Copy !req
146. Hi, Charles.Copy !req
147. Good to see you.Copy !req
148. You look beautiful.Copy !req
149. Oh, my God,
look how big they are.Copy !req
150. Mom.Copy !req
151. Congratulations.Copy !req
152. Nice to see you.Copy !req
153. You look beautiful.Copy !req
154. Nice to see you again.Copy !req
155. Hi, Henry. Hi.Copy !req
156. I have been
saying to everyoneCopy !req
157. that Peter and Char
are my couple goals...Copy !req
158. and I need to find
my own PeterCopy !req
159. and you're responsible?Copy !req
160. Well, I'm how Charlotte
and Peter met, okay?Copy !req
161. But it's up to the clientCopy !req
162. to build a strong enough
relationship...Copy !req
163. that leads to marriage.Copy !req
164. But how did you know thatCopy !req
165. Peter would be
the perfect guy for Char?Copy !req
166. Well, she can't tell,
it's her industry secret.Copy !req
167. There are no industry secrets.Copy !req
168. We can always
meet our life partnerCopy !req
169. out in the wild
or swiping on apps.Copy !req
170. But the happy ending
to a first date...Copy !req
171. is not the second date.Copy !req
172. It's changing
each other's diapersCopy !req
173. and burying each other.Copy !req
174. You're looking for
a nursing home partnerCopy !req
175. and a grave buddy.Copy !req
176. Who our partner is...Copy !req
177. it determines
our whole life...Copy !req
178. and how we live.Copy !req
179. Not for one, two,
ten years, but...Copy !req
180. forever.Copy !req
181. Oh, my God.Copy !req
182. I need you so badly.Copy !req
183. Yeah, I'm desperate.Copy !req
184. Can I give you my card?Copy !req
185. Of course.Copy !req
186. I'm going through a divorce,
but once it's over...Copy !req
187. I would really, really like
to give you a call.Copy !req
188. I'm so sorry to hear that.Copy !req
189. Lucy. She needs you.Copy !req
190. Excuse me.Copy !req
191. I just need five minutes
alone with her.Copy !req
192. - Hi, Charlotte.
- Hey, Lucy.Copy !req
193. How're you holding up?Copy !req
194. Not good.Copy !req
195. What's going on?Copy !req
196. What's going on...Copy !req
197. is that I am a modern woman.Copy !req
198. Like, I could've been
anything.Copy !req
199. Anything.Copy !req
200. But I chose to become...Copy !req
201. a bride.Copy !req
202. I chose this.Copy !req
203. It's not like
I'm getting marriedCopy !req
204. because I need to forge a...Copy !req
205. relationship
between two kingdoms.Copy !req
206. It's not like my family
needs a cow.Copy !req
207. I chose this.
I chose to marry a man.Copy !req
208. Charlotte.Copy !req
209. Marriage is a business deal.Copy !req
210. And it always has beenCopy !req
211. since the very first time
two people did it.Copy !req
212. You can always walk away
if the deal isn't good.Copy !req
213. And as the person
who introduced you to Peter,Copy !req
214. I will walk
right out of here with you.Copy !req
215. So tell me: do you not want
to get married today?Copy !req
216. I have to.Copy !req
217. - Why?
- Bec...Copy !req
218. My parents spent
so much money on this wedding.Copy !req
219. We spent hundreds
of thousands of dollars...Copy !req
220. on this wedding just so thatCopy !req
221. I could feel like
a fucking woman.Copy !req
222. Why do you really,Copy !req
223. in the darkest,
ugliest part of yourself,Copy !req
224. want to marry Peter?Copy !req
225. And I promise you...Copy !req
226. I have heard every reasonCopy !req
227. why a person wants
to get married to someone.Copy !req
228. And none of them are shocking
or wrong or crazy to me.Copy !req
229. It will be a secret
between you and me.Copy !req
230. You promise it'll be a secret?Copy !req
231. I promise.Copy !req
232. You cannot tell anyone.Copy !req
233. Not a soul. It is so awful.Copy !req
234. I will take it
to my grave.Copy !req
235. He makes my sister jealous.Copy !req
236. She's never said that,
but I know it's true.Copy !req
237. She thinks he's better
than her husband.Copy !req
238. She thinks he's...Copy !req
239. got a better job,
that he's better-looking.Copy !req
240. Taller.Copy !req
241. And...Copy !req
242. that makes me feel...Copy !req
243. like I've won.Copy !req
244. So this is about value.Copy !req
245. Peter makes you feel valuable.Copy !req
246. Yeah, he does.Copy !req
247. He really does.Copy !req
248. Does that make you
want to marry him?Copy !req
249. Hey.Copy !req
250. I'm Harry.Copy !req
251. Lucy.Copy !req
252. You're the matchmaker.Copy !req
253. You're the brother.Copy !req
254. What are you doing
at the singles table?Copy !req
255. My mother wants me to marry.Copy !req
256. I can help you with that.Copy !req
257. I saw you recruiting earlier.Copy !req
258. A wedding like this
must be a gold mine.Copy !req
259. There's a lot of opportunity
here for our company.Copy !req
260. Your sales pitch is perfectCopy !req
261. because you make it feel
like it's their idea.Copy !req
262. It's not like you're telling
people they need you,Copy !req
263. nobody wants to hear that.Copy !req
264. If they need you,Copy !req
265. then something
is wrong with them.Copy !req
266. Instead...Copy !req
267. you're saying: "You could
do this on your ownCopy !req
268. "but if you're lucky enough
to be able to afford me,Copy !req
269. "why not?"Copy !req
270. You're a luxury good.Copy !req
271. Then they really do
feel like they need you...Copy !req
272. just like they need every
other luxury in their lives.Copy !req
273. Once you get
your first $400 haircut,Copy !req
274. you can't go back
to Supercuts, can you?Copy !req
275. It's easy.Copy !req
276. No. You're just really good.Copy !req
277. What's it like?Copy !req
278. What's what like?Copy !req
279. Being a matchmaker.Copy !req
280. It's like working
at the morgue,Copy !req
281. or an insurance company.Copy !req
282. In what way?Copy !req
283. 6'2", 5'6". Skinny, fit, fat.Copy !req
284. White, Black, Asian.Copy !req
285. Doctor, lawyer, banker.Copy !req
286. 100 grand, 200 grand,
300 grand.Copy !req
287. Smoker, non-smoker.Copy !req
288. But you must know
a lot about love.Copy !req
289. I know about dating.Copy !req
290. What's the difference?Copy !req
291. Dating takes a lot of effort.Copy !req
292. A lot of trial and error.Copy !req
293. A ton of risk and pain.Copy !req
294. Love is easy.Copy !req
295. Is it?Copy !req
296. I find it to be the most
difficult thing in the world.Copy !req
297. That's because
we can't help it.Copy !req
298. It just walks
into our lives sometimes.Copy !req
299. Are you hitting on me?Copy !req
300. Definitely not.Copy !req
301. But I do think that
you would beCopy !req
302. a great match
for a lot of our clients.Copy !req
303. We need more straight men
in New York City.Copy !req
304. You look about six feet tall.
How much money do you make?Copy !req
305. Just straight up like that?Copy !req
306. I make 80 grand a year
before taxes.Copy !req
307. Do you make
more or less than that?Copy !req
308. More.Copy !req
309. I know.Copy !req
310. Finance, right?Copy !req
311. Private equity.Copy !req
312. Do you want a drink?Copy !req
313. - Sure.
- What do you want?Copy !req
314. Coke and beer.Copy !req
315. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
316. Hi, John.Copy !req
317. Working now, obviously,
but talk after dinner service?Copy !req
318. Yeah.Copy !req
319. Okay.Copy !req
320. Love is the last religion...Copy !req
321. the last country,
the last surviving ideology.Copy !req
322. So what else really
is there to believe in?Copy !req
323. When you get lost...Copy !req
324. and I know
you'll be lost at times...Copy !req
325. it's life.Copy !req
326. When you're lost...Copy !req
327. the answer is simple.Copy !req
328. Just go where love is.Copy !req
329. Just go where love is.Copy !req
330. Hi.Copy !req
331. Hey.Copy !req
332. So, what made them perfect
for each other?Copy !req
333. Similar
economic background.Copy !req
334. Politically aligned.Copy !req
335. Well-matched
in their attractiveness.Copy !req
336. Similar upbringing.Copy !req
337. Similar upbringing?Copy !req
338. They both come
from big happy families.Copy !req
339. "Big happy families."Copy !req
340. Yes.Copy !req
341. I'll believe it when I see it.Copy !req
342. The perception of
a "big happy family"...Copy !req
343. is all you need to have
a "big happy family."Copy !req
344. That's all it takes
to be soulmates?Copy !req
345. Basically.Copy !req
346. Poor...Copy !req
347. voted for Bernie...Copy !req
348. shitty family.Copy !req
349. Are we soulmates?Copy !req
350. Probably.Copy !req
351. How's acting going?Copy !req
352. How does it look like
it's going?Copy !req
353. Sorry.Copy !req
354. No, don't be,
I'm just being a dick.Copy !req
355. I'm giving you a hard time
because I'm embarrassed.Copy !req
356. What are you
embarrassed about?Copy !req
357. Having a job?Copy !req
358. I'm in a play.Copy !req
359. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
360. It's not for a while.Copy !req
361. I'm just doing jobs like this
to try and save some cash...Copy !req
362. before rehearsal starts.Copy !req
363. Definitely didn't expect
to run into you tonight.Copy !req
364. I missed you.Copy !req
365. Yeah.Copy !req
366. You don't even
remember my face.Copy !req
367. Got it.Copy !req
368. Your turn.Copy !req
369. You seeing anyone?Copy !req
370. You saw me
at the singles table.Copy !req
371. I missed you too.Copy !req
372. Can I give you a ride home
after I'm done finishing up?Copy !req
373. I have my car here.Copy !req
374. Yeah.Copy !req
375. We should catch up.Copy !req
376. Mommy, mommy.Copy !req
377. Giving me your number?Copy !req
378. Recruitment.Copy !req
379. Worked for your brother,Copy !req
380. so I think
it will work for you.Copy !req
381. I'll call you
if you dance with me.Copy !req
382. I'm going to call you.Copy !req
383. But not to hire you.Copy !req
384. I'm probably not someone
you want to date.Copy !req
385. Why not?Copy !req
386. Because the next person
I date, I'm gonna marry.Copy !req
387. So what kind of a personCopy !req
388. does a matchmaker
want to marry?Copy !req
389. Well, my non-negotiables
are that they're rich.Copy !req
390. My nice-to-have is that
they're mind-numbingly...Copy !req
391. absurdly...Copy !req
392. achingly...Copy !req
393. rich.Copy !req
394. Are you hitting on me?Copy !req
395. We have the penthouse
at the RitzCopy !req
396. for the after-party,
if you want to come.Copy !req
397. Maybe next time.Copy !req
398. Can my driver
drop you somewhere?Copy !req
399. I have a ride.Copy !req
400. Remember this one?Copy !req
401. Yep.Copy !req
402. You still live
in the same place?Copy !req
403. Yep.Copy !req
404. Rent's still $850.Copy !req
405. No fucking way.Copy !req
406. It's falling apart.Copy !req
407. I never get hot water.Copy !req
408. How are your roommates?Copy !req
409. David moved in
with his fiancee...Copy !req
410. and I think Logan
is developingCopy !req
411. a drinking problem.Copy !req
412. David is engaged?Copy !req
413. Yeah.Copy !req
414. To the TikTok girl?Copy !req
415. Yep.Copy !req
416. She does OnlyFans now too.Copy !req
417. Good for him.Copy !req
418. Is it?Copy !req
419. He's a 5'7" depressed novelist
who's never been published.Copy !req
420. He couldn't do better.Copy !req
421. It's that simple, huh?Copy !req
422. It's just math.Copy !req
423. What are you thinking about?Copy !req
424. It smells the same.Copy !req
425. What, my car?Copy !req
426. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
427. - Look, there!
- I'm not going to pay $25Copy !req
428. to park this piece of shit
for an hour.Copy !req
429. That's the cheapest
we'll ever get.Copy !req
430. We'll find street parking
on the next block.Copy !req
431. John, it's been 20 minutes.
I'll just pay for it.Copy !req
432. You're not paying.Copy !req
433. - We're going to have to...
- These fucking people...Copy !req
434. forfeit the reservationCopy !req
435. if we're more than
15 minutes lateCopy !req
436. and then they charge us
a cancellation fee ofCopy !req
437. $25 per person.Copy !req
438. Wait, are you fucking serious?Copy !req
439. I told you this like 10 times.Copy !req
440. That's extortion.
Why would you makeCopy !req
441. a reservation
at such a criminal place?Copy !req
442. We agreed to go
to nice restaurantsCopy !req
443. on our anniversary.Copy !req
444. Oh, there's no "nice" places
in New York City that won't...Copy !req
445. charge you 50 bucks if you're
a couple minutes late?Copy !req
446. Why did we even bring the car?Copy !req
447. Yes, it's my fault,
my rehearsal ran long.Copy !req
448. - You made your point.
- We could've called a car.Copy !req
449. So we could spend $50
to get into the city...Copy !req
450. and then another $200
at the restaurant?Copy !req
451. Why do you have a car
if you can't pay for it, John?Copy !req
452. Look, right there.Copy !req
453. $20 for 40 minutes?
What the fuck is this math?Copy !req
454. I don't want
to fight about moneyCopy !req
455. with my boyfriend
on our anniversary.Copy !req
456. It makes me feel
like my parents.Copy !req
457. I'm sorry, okay?Copy !req
458. We'll park at the next garage
we see.Copy !req
459. What are you doing?Copy !req
460. Lucy.Copy !req
461. Where the fuck are you going?Copy !req
462. Hey, I'm sorry, all right?
I'm sorry.Copy !req
463. I don't have any money,
and I forgot.Copy !req
464. What? What did you forget?
That you love me?Copy !req
465. Will you please get back
in the car? Please?Copy !req
466. I don't want to hate you
because you're poor...Copy !req
467. but right now I do,
and it makes me hate myself.Copy !req
468. Do you know how hard it is
to make you happy?Copy !req
469. And I want you to be happy.
I'm trying. I really am.Copy !req
470. I know. And it's almost enough
to make me happy.Copy !req
471. I wish that I didn't care
if we ate from a halal cart...Copy !req
472. on our five-year anniversary,
but I do.Copy !req
473. And however much you hate me,
I promise, I hate myself more.Copy !req
474. I don't hate you.Copy !req
475. You do.Copy !req
476. And it's not because
we're not in love.Copy !req
477. It's because we're broke.Copy !req
478. You want to come up?Copy !req
479. Yes.Copy !req
480. But I shouldn't.Copy !req
481. Thanks for the ride.Copy !req
482. Anytime.Copy !req
483. Invite me to your play.Copy !req
484. I will.Copy !req
485. I'm just giving you feedbackCopy !req
486. so you can
improve your performance...Copy !req
487. and I can start
getting better matches.Copy !req
488. I want to meet someone
who is a combination of allCopy !req
489. the different awesome parts
of the last four matches.Copy !req
490. Sophie's job
and education level,Copy !req
491. Emily's body and lifestyle,Copy !req
492. Piper's face
and sense of style...Copy !req
493. and Jane's hobbies
and taste in TV shows.Copy !req
494. Easy,
since I'm Dr. Frankenstein.Copy !req
495. I'm turning 48 in a few monthsCopy !req
496. and I think I need
to meet someone more grown.Copy !req
497. Someone I can talk to,Copy !req
498. just a proper woman
who knows good music...Copy !req
499. has seen old movies,
things like that.Copy !req
500. My last couple girlfriends
were 21 and 24...Copy !req
501. and they were honestly
kind of immature.Copy !req
502. I can imagine it might beCopy !req
503. a little hard to relate
to girls born in the 2000s.Copy !req
504. I have a really
special client,Copy !req
505. her name is Sophie...Copy !req
506. she's a highly
accomplished lawyer, she's 39.Copy !req
507. Um...Copy !req
508. I wasn't really thinking 30s.Copy !req
509. So when you
said older...Copy !req
510. I meant more like 27, 28.Copy !req
511. Ah.Copy !req
512. It gets really intense
and complicatedCopy !req
513. with women in their 30s.Copy !req
514. They have
really high expectationsCopy !req
515. and they tend to rush things
because I guess,Copy !req
516. their biological clock's
ticking.Copy !req
517. I have another really
beautiful client, she's 31—Copy !req
518. Uh.Copy !req
519. No.Copy !req
520. Someone... 27.Copy !req
521. Even 29 is pushing it.Copy !req
522. Trust me— it's the best thing
for everyone.Copy !req
523. I genuinely get along
much betterCopy !req
524. with girls in their 20s.Copy !req
525. I don't care what she's like
or how she lives...Copy !req
526. I just care that
she's my type physically.Copy !req
527. What's
your type physically?Copy !req
528. Fit.Copy !req
529. Just fit?Copy !req
530. Fit. Nothing over 20 BMI.Copy !req
531. Okay.Copy !req
532. Thank you for agreeing
to come on a date with me.Copy !req
533. Well, I only
said yes to thisCopy !req
534. so you'd realize
you're wrong...Copy !req
535. and you're not actually
interested in me.Copy !req
536. My instincts
are usually right.Copy !req
537. You think that
you're more rightCopy !req
538. about this
than a professional?Copy !req
539. Oh, sure, you're the expert,
but I trust my gut.Copy !req
540. Okay. We'll see.Copy !req
541. You look really good today.Copy !req
542. Thanks.Copy !req
543. How many drinks
per week?Copy !req
544. Depends, but like, 8? 10?
Work makes it hard not to.Copy !req
545. - Do you do drugs?
- Never.Copy !req
546. I do pot at parties.Copy !req
547. Me too.Copy !req
548. So not never.Copy !req
549. Hmm.Copy !req
550. What do you think is your
best physical feature?Copy !req
551. My eyes aren't bad.Copy !req
552. How did you end up doing
what you do?Copy !req
553. Both my parents
work in finance...Copy !req
554. and so does my brother,Copy !req
555. so I just kind of
ended up doing it.Copy !req
556. And we all work for
the firm my mother started.Copy !req
557. - It's a family business.
- Yeah, it's boring.Copy !req
558. Mm.Copy !req
559. How did you get into
doing what you do?Copy !req
560. It was the... first
and only thingCopy !req
561. I was really good at.Copy !req
562. What else do you want
to know about me?Copy !req
563. I bet your parents
never raisedCopy !req
564. their voices at each other.Copy !req
565. I think almost never.Copy !req
566. Maybe they were
secretly fighting.Copy !req
567. Did they ever
fight about money?Copy !req
568. No.Copy !req
569. Makes sense.Copy !req
570. I think we emulate the way
our parents fight.Copy !req
571. Hmm.Copy !req
572. I see couples fighting
in the middle of the streetCopy !req
573. in New York
and I don't get it.Copy !req
574. Aren't they embarrassed to do
that in front of people?Copy !req
575. I'm the type to fight
in the middle of the street.Copy !req
576. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
577. Have you ever done that?Copy !req
578. Never.Copy !req
579. Do you think
he will like me?Copy !req
580. I think you will
really like him.Copy !req
581. - Are you sure?
- Stay open-minded.Copy !req
582. - I'm so nervous.
- All right.Copy !req
583. Okay, text me afterCopy !req
584. - and I'll call you tomorrow.
- Okay.Copy !req
585. - Okay, talk soon, Sophie. Bye.
- Bye.Copy !req
586. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
587. Wow. Thank you.Copy !req
588. You're welcome.Copy !req
589. You okay?Copy !req
590. Yes. My client is going
on a date right now too.Copy !req
591. You seem nervous.Copy !req
592. I really want her
to like this guy.Copy !req
593. She's had, like,
10 bad dates in a rowCopy !req
594. and I just need to deliver.Copy !req
595. Are you feeling guilty thatCopy !req
596. you're about to go
on a good date?Copy !req
597. I don't know
if I like youCopy !req
598. or if I just like the places
you take me to.Copy !req
599. You like me?Copy !req
600. When did that happen?Copy !req
601. I think when I saw the way
you pick up the bill.Copy !req
602. I do it
really well, don't I?Copy !req
603. You do.Copy !req
604. Just one swift motion.Copy !req
605. No hesitation. No fear.Copy !req
606. Well, I can afford it,
so why would I be scared?Copy !req
607. You're investing
a lot in me, huh?Copy !req
608. I just want our dates
to be romantic.Copy !req
609. How expensive a meal is
makes the date romantic?Copy !req
610. Doesn't it?Copy !req
611. When we first met...Copy !req
612. you said your job makes you
think like a morticianCopy !req
613. or an insurance claims
adjuster.Copy !req
614. How am I as a corpse?Copy !req
615. A good corpse.Copy !req
616. How about as a payout?Copy !req
617. Couldn't ask for better.Copy !req
618. As a nursing home partner?Copy !req
619. A grave buddy?Copy !req
620. You can do better than me.Copy !req
621. Can I?Copy !req
622. You know how to do
the math, don't you?Copy !req
623. In my line of work...Copy !req
624. I meet hundreds of
highly desirable,Copy !req
625. high quality men...Copy !req
626. but you are what we call
in my industry "a unicorn."Copy !req
627. An impossible fantasy.Copy !req
628. Your brother
was a unicorn, too.Copy !req
629. The reason my clients cannot
lower their expectations...Copy !req
630. is because, against all odds,Copy !req
631. men like you
do actually exist.Copy !req
632. Well, I'm sure something
is wrong with me.Copy !req
633. You're perfect.Copy !req
634. You're smart.Copy !req
635. You have ideal income,
ideal education...Copy !req
636. ideal lifestyle,
ideal height...Copy !req
637. you're good-looking,
you have a great body,Copy !req
638. you're charming.Copy !req
639. You were born rich,
raised rich,Copy !req
640. you're still rich.Copy !req
641. You own a penthouse
in Tribeca.Copy !req
642. You can take a girl
to a restaurant like thisCopy !req
643. and it's not even
like a special occasion.Copy !req
644. You don't have a drug habit
or a call girls habit.Copy !req
645. You even know
how to cut your hair,Copy !req
646. and how to dress.Copy !req
647. You have taste.Copy !req
648. You are a 10 out of 10
in every category.Copy !req
649. A complete package.Copy !req
650. So I don't know why you're
trying to throw it all awayCopy !req
651. on someone like me.Copy !req
652. What's someone like you?Copy !req
653. Just a girl who works.Copy !req
654. I'm older than the women
you could be dating.Copy !req
655. Which means my looks
won't last as long.Copy !req
656. And I have fewer years
left to get pregnant.Copy !req
657. If you marry a 25-year-old,Copy !req
658. then in 10 years
she'll look like me.Copy !req
659. If you marry me, in 10 years
I'll look like my mother.Copy !req
660. What does
your mother look like?Copy !req
661. I was born poor, raised poor,Copy !req
662. and even though I work,
I have debt.Copy !req
663. I'm a college dropout
and a failed actress.Copy !req
664. I have no dowry.Copy !req
665. If anything,
I have a negative dowry.Copy !req
666. Do I look like I need a dowry?Copy !req
667. At the end of the day,
the math doesn't add up.Copy !req
668. Given your position in
the marketplace and given mine,Copy !req
669. I'm not a girl you marry.Copy !req
670. I'm a girl that
you go home with once,Copy !req
671. and then never call again.Copy !req
672. So...Copy !req
673. what are you doing with me?Copy !req
674. You say you think I'm smart,Copy !req
675. but you're talking to me
like I'm a caveman.Copy !req
676. I wouldn't date you
if I didn't see value.Copy !req
677. I'm not like my brother.Copy !req
678. I'm not looking
for the nicest,Copy !req
679. prettiest rich girl
who likes me back.Copy !req
680. I'm looking for someone
who understands the game,Copy !req
681. how the world works.Copy !req
682. I'm looking for someone
I respect.Copy !req
683. And trust.Copy !req
684. Someone who knows
more than me.Copy !req
685. I don't want to date you
for your material assets...Copy !req
686. though I think
you're underselling themCopy !req
687. by a significant margin.Copy !req
688. Material assets are cheap,Copy !req
689. they don't last.Copy !req
690. I want to be with you
for your intangible assets.Copy !req
691. Those are good investments.Copy !req
692. They don't degrade.
They only get sharper.Copy !req
693. And, besides,
I have enough material assetsCopy !req
694. for the both of us.Copy !req
695. I see a lot of potential here.Copy !req
696. I think you and I could make
great partners.Copy !req
697. I hope you agree.Copy !req
698. As for what I can
do for you...Copy !req
699. I think I'm the only guy
this richCopy !req
700. you can actually stand.Copy !req
701. I don't like you
because you're rich.Copy !req
702. Then why do you like me?Copy !req
703. Because you make me
feel valuable.Copy !req
704. You are valuable.Copy !req
705. That's what I'm trying
to tell you.Copy !req
706. Do you want to see
each other more seriously?Copy !req
707. Hi, you've reached
Lucy from Adore Matchmaking.Copy !req
708. Please leave a messageCopy !req
709. and I'll call you back.
Thanks.Copy !req
710. Hey, it's John.Copy !req
711. Okay. Just give me a call
when you get this.Copy !req
712. Just wanted
to invite you to the play.Copy !req
713. We start previews
next week, so...Copy !req
714. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
715. What's your
dream vacation?Copy !req
716. Iceland.Copy !req
717. Hmm.Copy !req
718. Would you let me
take you to Iceland?Copy !req
719. - I don't even have a passport.
- Well, let's get you one.Copy !req
720. How much is this apartment?Copy !req
721. Twelve million.Copy !req
722. Do you like it?Copy !req
723. Oh.Copy !req
724. What the fuck?Copy !req
725. Fuck!Copy !req
726. Hey, motherfucker!Copy !req
727. You can't leave your used
condoms on the kitchen floor!Copy !req
728. It's unacceptable!Copy !req
729. I got kind of drunk
last night.Copy !req
730. I must've missed
the trash can.Copy !req
731. Why don't you throw it out
in your own fucking trash can?Copy !req
732. I don't want it just
sitting there in the room.Copy !req
733. Why don't you want
your own cum in the room?Copy !req
734. It's fucking gross.Copy !req
735. So we have to deal with it
in the fucking kitchen?Copy !req
736. I know it doesn't
make sense, man, I was drunk.Copy !req
737. Hey, can you two
stop yelling?Copy !req
738. I'm teaching an acting class
on Zoom...Copy !req
739. and you're making me
look really unprofessional.Copy !req
740. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
741. Right.Copy !req
742. So he's asking for
a valuation in his dreams.Copy !req
743. It's inflated.Copy !req
744. He's giving us a DCF
based on pure fiction...Copy !req
745. on future revenue streams with
blinders for expense growth.Copy !req
746. Yeah, he's a bad analyst...Copy !req
747. and he's just making
shit up at this point.Copy !req
748. He's just saying numbers that
come to his head. Listen...Copy !req
749. it's still a good growth
story for our company...Copy !req
750. so we're going
to have to continueCopy !req
751. playing ball with this guy.Copy !req
752. Hi, you've reached Sophie...Copy !req
753. Hello?Copy !req
754. Hi, Mark,
it's Lucy from Adore.Copy !req
755. Oh, hi.Copy !req
756. Hi. So, I just wanted
to get some feedbackCopy !req
757. on your first date
with my client Sophie.Copy !req
758. Actually I haven't gotten
ahold of her yet...Copy !req
759. so I don't know
how it went on her end...Copy !req
760. but I'm excited to hear
how it went for you.Copy !req
761. It went so well.
She's wonderful.Copy !req
762. Like really nice face,
good body,Copy !req
763. good job, great energy.Copy !req
764. Just all the things I said
I wanted from a match.Copy !req
765. Okay.Copy !req
766. Okay, I love hearing this.Copy !req
767. Um, I'm so glad
you had a good time.Copy !req
768. Sophie is really wonderful.Copy !req
769. Yeah, no.Copy !req
770. Like the conversation
just flowed.Copy !req
771. Uh, we ended up
staying out pretty late.Copy !req
772. Cool. So, do you want
to see her again?Copy !req
773. Sure. I'm not sure how serious
it's going to be...Copy !req
774. but I wouldn't mind seeing
her again, if she's game.Copy !req
775. Great. Yeah, of course,
one step at a time.Copy !req
776. All right. Thanks, Lucy.Copy !req
777. Great. You have a good dayCopy !req
778. and I'll reach out
this afternoon...Copy !req
779. after I speak with her.
Thanks, Mark.Copy !req
780. Thanks, Mark!Copy !req
781. Hey, it's John.Copy !req
782. Okay. Just give me a call
when you get this.Copy !req
783. Just wanted to invite you
to the play.Copy !req
784. Hi,
you've reached Sophie...Copy !req
785. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
786. So, uh, Rose was asking
for her client Mia W.Copy !req
787. How it's going with
Peter C.'s brother, Harry?Copy !req
788. Were you able to recruit him?Copy !req
789. Yeah. Uh, actually, um...Copy !req
790. I'm dating him.Copy !req
791. - You're dating him?
- Yep.Copy !req
792. - You know he's a unicorn.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
793. You couldn't let him
go on a couple datesCopy !req
794. with some
of our clients first?Copy !req
795. He insisted.Copy !req
796. I'm sure he did.Copy !req
797. Hey, Lucy. Can I speak to you
in my office?Copy !req
798. Have you spoken
with Sophie L.?Copy !req
799. Uh, not yet. Just Mark P.Copy !req
800. I just hung up
with Sophie's lawyer.Copy !req
801. Her lawyer?Copy !req
802. Apparently,
she was assaulted on the date.Copy !req
803. What?Copy !req
804. By Mark P.?Copy !req
805. Yes.Copy !req
806. Last night?Copy !req
807. Are you serious?Copy !req
808. She's bringing charges
to the company, not you.Copy !req
809. I have a call with
the legal team in two minutes...Copy !req
810. and we're going
to figure it out.Copy !req
811. I need to speak with her.Copy !req
812. Lucy, no.Copy !req
813. - Violet, she's my client.
- She's not anymore.Copy !req
814. So if Sophie calls,
you must not pick up.Copy !req
815. - I can't do nothing.
- Do nothing.Copy !req
816. You made the best match
you couldCopy !req
817. given the information
you have.Copy !req
818. This particular match
did not work outCopy !req
819. but you've been doing amazing
work for Sophie for months.Copy !req
820. The match didn't
"not work out," Vi,Copy !req
821. she was assaulted.Copy !req
822. A matchmaker can't vouch
for how a person isCopy !req
823. in an intimate settingCopy !req
824. since she's never been
in one with them.Copy !req
825. Has something like this
happened before?Copy !req
826. Of course.Copy !req
827. This is dating.Copy !req
828. This happened
to one of my clientsCopy !req
829. the third year I worked here.Copy !req
830. If you do this long enough,
it happens to all of us.Copy !req
831. It's a known risk.Copy !req
832. Hi, you.Copy !req
833. Hi.Copy !req
834. Sorry I'm late.Copy !req
835. No worries.Copy !req
836. Am I dressed nice enough?Copy !req
837. You might be dressed too nice.Copy !req
838. My mother and father
made love.Copy !req
839. I was born. I grew up.Copy !req
840. I entered this restaurant.
I'm on a date.Copy !req
841. A waiter walks up to me
and asks,Copy !req
842. "What can I do for you?"Copy !req
843. "I don't know.
What can you do for me?"Copy !req
844. I order a glass of water.Copy !req
845. My mother and father
made love.Copy !req
846. I was born. I grew up.Copy !req
847. I entered this restaurant.
I'm on a date.Copy !req
848. The waiter
is touching my back.Copy !req
849. I went to school.
I read books.Copy !req
850. I wrote book reports.Copy !req
851. I went to more school.
I wrote essays.Copy !req
852. Well,
it's certainly different.Copy !req
853. I mean, it's, it's, uh...Copy !req
854. It's been a good experience.
I feel really lucky.Copy !req
855. Listen, it was great
to meet you guys.Copy !req
856. - Thanks for coming.
- Of course.Copy !req
857. - Hey, buddy.
- Hey.Copy !req
858. - That was great.
- Was it?Copy !req
859. Yes, I loved it.Copy !req
860. This is my boyfriend, Harry.Copy !req
861. Hey, nice to meet you.
Thanks for coming.Copy !req
862. Congratulations.
That was really interesting.Copy !req
863. Thanks.Copy !req
864. I can't believe you remembered
all those lines.Copy !req
865. Yeah. Yeah, it's nuts.Copy !req
866. Well, listen,
we're going aroundCopy !req
867. the corner to get a drink.Copy !req
868. You guys want to come?Copy !req
869. - Yes.
- Great.Copy !req
870. - Okay.
- Yeah.Copy !req
871. So, what did you really think?Copy !req
872. I liked it.Copy !req
873. Some of it
didn't make sense...Copy !req
874. but I loved watching you act,
you know that.Copy !req
875. Do you ever miss it?Copy !req
876. Acting? No.Copy !req
877. Not even a little bit?Copy !req
878. I'm not like you.Copy !req
879. I was never going
to be an actor.Copy !req
880. I didn't know how to stand
or... speak.Copy !req
881. You were always good though.Copy !req
882. You're even better now.Copy !req
883. I'm really proud of you, John.Copy !req
884. You met him at the wedding?Copy !req
885. Yeah.Copy !req
886. He's the groom's brother.Copy !req
887. You're not gonna marry him,
are you?Copy !req
888. Why not?Copy !req
889. Because he's good-looking.Copy !req
890. And rich.Copy !req
891. Has a real job.Copy !req
892. Probably doesn't
have roommates.Copy !req
893. Probably doesn't get angryCopy !req
894. at stupid shit all the time
that doesn't matter.Copy !req
895. Can we talk
about something else?Copy !req
896. You okay?Copy !req
897. Why do you ask?Copy !req
898. Just... you don't seem
like you're okay.Copy !req
899. Is it him?Copy !req
900. Is it work?Copy !req
901. I just don't think I'm
very good at my job anymore.Copy !req
902. I'm sure it's gonna be fine.Copy !req
903. You're so hard on yourself.Copy !req
904. You're not a drone pilot
or a gun lobbyist.Copy !req
905. You don't work
at Shell or McKinsey.Copy !req
906. It's just dating.
It's not that serious.Copy !req
907. Right.Copy !req
908. Dating is not serious.Copy !req
909. It's just girl shit, right?Copy !req
910. That's not what I meant.Copy !req
911. You always know exactly
what to say to me.Copy !req
912. Ready to go?Copy !req
913. Yep. I'm gonna
wait for you outside.Copy !req
914. Uh,
I'll get the drinks.Copy !req
915. Thank you, Harry.Copy !req
916. Thank you.Copy !req
917. I don't want to date a liberalCopy !req
918. and they have to go to church
every Sunday.Copy !req
919. I don't want someone
who likes cats.Copy !req
920. I'm a dog person.Copy !req
921. Is a moderate
democrat okay?Copy !req
922. Only republican.Copy !req
923. I want someone who identifies
as a conservative.Copy !req
924. Audrey,
I don't knowCopy !req
925. if there's a cat-hating,
Christian conservative lesbianCopy !req
926. in most parts of New York...Copy !req
927. who wants to date a closetedCopy !req
928. 49-year-old
with three children.Copy !req
929. Would you be willing
to date someoneCopy !req
930. from Long Island
or New Jersey?Copy !req
931. I want to prioritize
dating a manCopy !req
932. who's white at firstCopy !req
933. but then if we have no luck,
we can move on to other races.Copy !req
934. So "whites only,"
at first?Copy !req
935. I mean, technically,
I'm open to all ethnicities.Copy !req
936. Eleanor, "technically,"Copy !req
937. you're asking me to set you up
with only white men.Copy !req
938. I know the list looks long
but I deserve someoneCopy !req
939. who fulfills
all of my criteria.Copy !req
940. I really do.Copy !req
941. I mean look at me.
I'm a catch.Copy !req
942. Patricia,
I know that every yearCopy !req
943. you go without having
a husband...Copy !req
944. raises your expectations
for him exponentially.Copy !req
945. But that doesn't mean
that you're due to get one.Copy !req
946. And it doesn't mean
that you can customize...Copy !req
947. because this is
not a simulation.Copy !req
948. If the service
I was providing youCopy !req
949. was building you a man
then, of course,Copy !req
950. I could build you a man with
everything on this list...Copy !req
951. But I can't.Copy !req
952. Because this is
not a car or a house.Copy !req
953. We're talking about people.Copy !req
954. People are people
are people are people.Copy !req
955. They come as they are.Copy !req
956. And all I can hope
to find for youCopy !req
957. is a man that you can tolerateCopy !req
958. for the next 50 years
who likes you at all.Copy !req
959. And you are not a catch...Copy !req
960. because you are not a fish.Copy !req
961. I was managing
her expectations.Copy !req
962. Patricia canceled
her membershipCopy !req
963. and reviewed us online,
calling us a scam.Copy !req
964. We are a scam.Copy !req
965. We don't give them
what they pay for, do we?Copy !req
966. We promise them love
and then...Copy !req
967. we just give them bad dates
with morons and criminals.Copy !req
968. I know the Sophie L. situation
is still weighing on you.Copy !req
969. Burnout is common
for matchmakers.Copy !req
970. You need a break.Copy !req
971. You should go on a trip
with your boyfriend.Copy !req
972. If I take a break right now...Copy !req
973. I may never come back.Copy !req
974. You will,
because you love your clients.Copy !req
975. I hate them.
They are children.Copy !req
976. I hate them.Copy !req
977. They give us
thousands of dollars.Copy !req
978. They're entitled
to some regression.Copy !req
979. Do you think
that any one of themCopy !req
980. says to their therapist...Copy !req
981. "No Blacks, no fatties"?Copy !req
982. And if I'm
their actual therapist,Copy !req
983. which it feels like I am...Copy !req
984. I don't have the schooling
to support that.Copy !req
985. And I certainly
don't get paid enough.Copy !req
986. Lucy, we're better
than therapists.Copy !req
987. We work
with the most intimate...Copy !req
988. extremely personal,Copy !req
989. unofficial part
of their lives...Copy !req
990. that they'd like to see
struck from the record.Copy !req
991. We work with their
loneliness and rejection...Copy !req
992. the kind that makes someone
get naked for a stranger.Copy !req
993. We're the real deal.Copy !req
994. That's why they tell youCopy !req
995. more than they would
tell their therapistsCopy !req
996. and why they take
risks with you.Copy !req
997. "Risks."Copy !req
998. Yes. Risks that can
lead to a situationCopy !req
999. like what happened
with Sophie I.Copy !req
1000. And risks that lead
to lifelong marriages.Copy !req
1001. You know
this is life-changing work.Copy !req
1002. And you're born for it.Copy !req
1003. Take a break starting now.Copy !req
1004. And I expect you back
in four weeks, renewed.Copy !req
1005. I insist.Copy !req
1006. Violet! Amazing news!Copy !req
1007. My client Zoe H.
and Fred A. just got engaged!Copy !req
1008. Unbelievable! Oh!Copy !req
1009. That is so impressive!Copy !req
1010. What an amazing match!Copy !req
1011. Number four?Copy !req
1012. - Yes!
- We have to throw you a party!Copy !req
1013. Sophie.Copy !req
1014. Sophie.Copy !req
1015. - Sophie.
- You don't want to talk to me.Copy !req
1016. Please.Copy !req
1017. I am so embarrassed.Copy !req
1018. I thought I could
pay some girlCopy !req
1019. to find me a boyfriend.Copy !req
1020. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1021. "An expert"?
What a fucking joke.Copy !req
1022. - Sophie-
- You know what's even funnier?Copy !req
1023. I almost felt like
we were friends.Copy !req
1024. I, I, I, I really— I—Copy !req
1025. Can we please just talk?Copy !req
1026. Talk about what?Copy !req
1027. What do you have to say?Copy !req
1028. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1029. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1030. I trusted you.Copy !req
1031. I didn't know
what he was capable of.Copy !req
1032. I see, so...Copy !req
1033. you knew his height,
which was a lie by the way.Copy !req
1034. And his job and his salary,Copy !req
1035. which was also a lie
just for the record.Copy !req
1036. And his looks, which is
really nothing much...Copy !req
1037. but you didn't know
who he was.Copy !req
1038. As a person. As a man.Copy !req
1039. Well, I went on a date
with him and found out.Copy !req
1040. He's the kind of guy
who gets drunkCopy !req
1041. and follows you
into the bathroom.Copy !req
1042. Why would you set me up
with someone like that?Copy !req
1043. He was a strong match
with a lot of potential.Copy !req
1044. He checked a lot of our boxes.Copy !req
1045. "Boxes"?Copy !req
1046. The truth is,
you set me up with that manCopy !req
1047. because you think
I'm worthless.Copy !req
1048. No, I don't—Copy !req
1049. You didn't know
what to do with me.Copy !req
1050. That's how I ended up
on that date.Copy !req
1051. Here I was thinking that
you worked for me...Copy !req
1052. but the whole time
I was working for you.Copy !req
1053. Worthless merchandise...Copy !req
1054. to pawn off to anyone
who'd take it.Copy !req
1055. But I am not merchandise.Copy !req
1056. I'm a person.Copy !req
1057. And I know I deserve love.Copy !req
1058. I know you do. I believe it.Copy !req
1059. Fuck you.Copy !req
1060. Pimp.Copy !req
1061. Thanks.Copy !req
1062. Can I get a receipt?Copy !req
1063. Thanks, man.Copy !req
1064. Lucy?Copy !req
1065. What's going on? You okay?Copy !req
1066. No.Copy !req
1067. Do you want me
to come get you?Copy !req
1068. No, I'm at home.Copy !req
1069. I shouldn't even be
calling you.Copy !req
1070. You can always call me.
What's up?Copy !req
1071. I fucked up.Copy !req
1072. Okay.Copy !req
1073. I'm not supposed
to tell anybody but...Copy !req
1074. can I tell you?Copy !req
1075. Of course.Copy !req
1076. Anything.Copy !req
1077. I set my client up
with a bad person.Copy !req
1078. I didn't know he was bad,
but I introduced them.Copy !req
1079. And nowCopy !req
1080. I can't fix it.Copy !req
1081. I'm the last person
who can fix it.Copy !req
1082. Do you want me to come over?Copy !req
1083. No. I'm about
to go to Harry's.Copy !req
1084. Right.Copy !req
1085. Sorry.Copy !req
1086. No, no. It's... Hey,
nothing to be sorry about.Copy !req
1087. Keep telling me what happened.Copy !req
1088. I'm here.Copy !req
1089. Do you know what they are?Copy !req
1090. I think so.Copy !req
1091. - It's not a big deal.
- I know.Copy !req
1092. I made an investment.Copy !req
1093. A body is like an apartment.Copy !req
1094. You have to invest
to get the value back.Copy !req
1095. I understand you.Copy !req
1096. I invested too.Copy !req
1097. Right. I figured.Copy !req
1098. Did your brother too?Copy !req
1099. Yeah, we did it
together eight years ago.Copy !req
1100. Six feet or taller was one of
Charlotte's non-negotiables...Copy !req
1101. so I'm glad he did.Copy !req
1102. Was it painful?Copy !req
1103. I know it sounds stupid,Copy !req
1104. breaking your legs to gain
a few extra inches.Copy !req
1105. But we keep saying,
definitely worth it.Copy !req
1106. It changed our lives.Copy !req
1107. With women,
completely, of course.Copy !req
1108. Women just approach us
and talk to us now,Copy !req
1109. which never happened before.Copy !req
1110. I haven't struck out since.Copy !req
1111. But you can also tell
the difference at workCopy !req
1112. and at restaurants
and airports. You're...Copy !req
1113. You're just worth more.Copy !req
1114. Does this change anything?Copy !req
1115. No.Copy !req
1116. What are you thinking about?Copy !req
1117. I'm thinking that...Copy !req
1118. that you should go
to Iceland without me.Copy !req
1119. Why?Copy !req
1120. I don't think that you and I
are a good match.Copy !req
1121. Is it because
I got the surgery?Copy !req
1122. No. Knowing that just makes me
feel like I actually know you.Copy !req
1123. Then what?Copy !req
1124. It's really hard
for me to feel likeCopy !req
1125. this is not about the legs.Copy !req
1126. It's not.Copy !req
1127. When I realized
what you had done,Copy !req
1128. it made me feel exactly
how I felt about you before.Copy !req
1129. Which is what?Copy !req
1130. I'm not in love with you.Copy !req
1131. And you're not in love
with me.Copy !req
1132. And there's no amount of money
that can fix that.Copy !req
1133. But we're such a good match.Copy !req
1134. You're exactly
what I'm looking for...Copy !req
1135. and I know I can
make your life better.Copy !req
1136. Harry, you don't want
to marry me.Copy !req
1137. You want to do
business with me,Copy !req
1138. just like I want to do
business with you.Copy !req
1139. But isn't marriage
a business deal?Copy !req
1140. Yes, it is.Copy !req
1141. But love has to be
on the table.Copy !req
1142. What if I'm not capable of it?Copy !req
1143. Of love?Copy !req
1144. It makes me feel
like an idiot.Copy !req
1145. Like I'm...Copy !req
1146. I'm just a clueless... child.Copy !req
1147. I feel so... dumb
thinking about it...Copy !req
1148. or wanting it.Copy !req
1149. I find it...Copy !req
1150. so difficult.Copy !req
1151. You won't,
when you love someone.Copy !req
1152. It'll be easy.Copy !req
1153. No math.Copy !req
1154. Should I hire you
for your services?Copy !req
1155. If you call the office,Copy !req
1156. they'll assign
someone great for you.Copy !req
1157. So this is it?Copy !req
1158. You want to know
how many inches?Copy !req
1159. Yeah.Copy !req
1160. Six.Copy !req
1161. You were 5'6" before?Copy !req
1162. I wouldn't have had
the confidenceCopy !req
1163. to hit on you at 5'6".Copy !req
1164. I'm sure you would have.Copy !req
1165. Am I still a unicorn?Copy !req
1166. You're perfect.Copy !req
1167. Where's my charger?Copy !req
1168. Hey, is that my charger?Copy !req
1169. My charger broke.Copy !req
1170. So you just took mine?
I had an alarm set.Copy !req
1171. And answer the fucking door
for once in your fucking life!Copy !req
1172. What?Copy !req
1173. Hi. It's Lucy.Copy !req
1174. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1175. No, no, that's okay.
I was just—Copy !req
1176. I'll come down there.Copy !req
1177. Just give me—
Just don't move.Copy !req
1178. Hey, what the fuck?Copy !req
1179. Oh...Copy !req
1180. Sh...Copy !req
1181. Goddamn it.Copy !req
1182. Fuck.Copy !req
1183. Hi.Copy !req
1184. Hi.Copy !req
1185. You have a girl up there?Copy !req
1186. What? No.
Why would you say that?Copy !req
1187. I don't know. You didn't want
me to come up.Copy !req
1188. Oh. Yeah, no,
there's no girl up there.Copy !req
1189. Sorry for showing up
without warning.Copy !req
1190. I tried calling.Copy !req
1191. Sorry. My phone
wasn't charged.Copy !req
1192. I'm meant to be
on a plane to Iceland.Copy !req
1193. Okay.Copy !req
1194. I sublet my apartment
for the weekCopy !req
1195. that I'm supposed
to be in Iceland...Copy !req
1196. so I, uh, don't have
a place to stay.Copy !req
1197. Sorry, I don't know
what I'm doing here.Copy !req
1198. - It doesn't make any sense.
- No, no.Copy !req
1199. - I thought it made sense.
- Wait, wait. Don't go. Stay.Copy !req
1200. This was a bad idea.Copy !req
1201. No, it's not. It's just...Copy !req
1202. My apartment is not...Copy !req
1203. suitable for you.Copy !req
1204. It was suitable before.Copy !req
1205. Yeah, well, we're not
in our 20s anymore.Copy !req
1206. I know what
your apartment is like.Copy !req
1207. Trust me, it's worse
than you remember.Copy !req
1208. Want to drive upstate?Copy !req
1209. And go where?Copy !req
1210. I don't know.
Just drive around.Copy !req
1211. Stay at a hotel.Copy !req
1212. I just got the stipend
from my play,Copy !req
1213. so... I'm feeling rich.Copy !req
1214. What are you thinking about?Copy !req
1215. You're the same as always.Copy !req
1216. Really?Copy !req
1217. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1218. I was hoping you'd say
I was different.Copy !req
1219. Why?Copy !req
1220. Because if I'm different,Copy !req
1221. then I wouldn't be
the guy that lost you.Copy !req
1222. What?Copy !req
1223. That's my catering company.Copy !req
1224. Do you think they'd get us in?Copy !req
1225. Oh, he loves her so much.Copy !req
1226. Yeah.Copy !req
1227. And special delivery,
just for you.Copy !req
1228. A gift.Copy !req
1229. A white glove service,
handled with care.Copy !req
1230. If you could
just sign here.Copy !req
1231. Initial here.Copy !req
1232. Thank you very much
and have a good day.Copy !req
1233. One day,
for no reason in particular...Copy !req
1234. you two will start
to hate each other.Copy !req
1235. You'll resent each other...Copy !req
1236. you'll take each other
for granted...Copy !req
1237. You'll stop having sex...Copy !req
1238. somehow... manage
to make a couple of kids...Copy !req
1239. and then you'll get
sick of each other...Copy !req
1240. And one of you
will cheat on the other...Copy !req
1241. and then you'll fight.Copy !req
1242. At first, not in front
of the kids, but then...Copy !req
1243. in front of the kids...Copy !req
1244. and then you resent the kids
for seeing you fight...Copy !req
1245. and then
you file for divorce...Copy !req
1246. and you fight about...Copy !req
1247. who owns what and...Copy !req
1248. who gets the kids
when until it's...Copy !req
1249. all over.Copy !req
1250. Why does anybody
even get married?Copy !req
1251. Because people tell them
they should.Copy !req
1252. And because they're lonely.Copy !req
1253. And because they're hopeful.Copy !req
1254. They want to do it differently
than their parents.Copy !req
1255. John.Copy !req
1256. John!Copy !req
1257. - What is this?
- What is what?Copy !req
1258. Are we getting back together?Copy !req
1259. Lucy, are we
getting back together?Copy !req
1260. I don't know.Copy !req
1261. I really don't.Copy !req
1262. So you thought you'd just
show up at my door...Copy !req
1263. not have a boyfriend,Copy !req
1264. agree to get in my car,
kiss me...Copy !req
1265. fuck me while you try
to get over someone else...Copy !req
1266. and then leave me again?
Is that it?Copy !req
1267. - Do you think I'm worthless?
- No, I don't think that.Copy !req
1268. - Am I disposable?
- Of course not.Copy !req
1269. Do you feel bad for me?Copy !req
1270. Poor old John
can't figure his life out?Copy !req
1271. - Never.
- Then why are you using me?Copy !req
1272. I'm not.Copy !req
1273. I'm usually
desperate enough to let you.Copy !req
1274. I'm a beggar for you.Copy !req
1275. When I see your face...Copy !req
1276. I see wrinkles
and grey hair...Copy !req
1277. and children
that look like you.Copy !req
1278. I can't help it.Copy !req
1279. But as your friend...Copy !req
1280. I would tell you
it's a bad ideaCopy !req
1281. to be with a 37-year-old
cater waiterCopy !req
1282. who still has roommates.Copy !req
1283. I would say...Copy !req
1284. you definitely shouldn't
marry a guyCopy !req
1285. that has $2,000
in his bank account...Copy !req
1286. in a city he can't afford...Copy !req
1287. who's only still there...Copy !req
1288. to keep trying to be
a theatre actorCopy !req
1289. because someone told him
he was good at it once.Copy !req
1290. So, where does that leave us?Copy !req
1291. Here.Copy !req
1292. At someone else's wedding.Copy !req
1293. I can't give you the wedding
or the marriage you want.Copy !req
1294. I couldn't even give you
the relationship you wanted.Copy !req
1295. It's been years,Copy !req
1296. and I still can't afford
to be with you.Copy !req
1297. You're right...Copy !req
1298. You can't.Copy !req
1299. But just because
you can't afford it,Copy !req
1300. doesn't mean
it's worth having.Copy !req
1301. You don't want me.Copy !req
1302. Of course I want you.Copy !req
1303. Are you even listening to me?Copy !req
1304. John, you and I haven't been
together properly...Copy !req
1305. in so long
that you've forgotten.Copy !req
1306. You don't want to be with me
because I'm not a good person.Copy !req
1307. I'm judgmental...Copy !req
1308. and materialistic, and cold.Copy !req
1309. I broke up with you
because you're broke.Copy !req
1310. I've hurt you over and over.Copy !req
1311. You hate me.Copy !req
1312. I don't hate you.Copy !req
1313. You do.Copy !req
1314. And you're right to hate me,
because I'm awful.Copy !req
1315. Even now...Copy !req
1316. I'm thinking:
If I choose to marry you...Copy !req
1317. I'm gonna be
sitting across from youCopy !req
1318. in cheap shitty restaurants
for the rest of my life.Copy !req
1319. I'll be riding
in your shitty car,Copy !req
1320. and living in your
shitty bedroom...Copy !req
1321. and fighting with you
about $25.Copy !req
1322. I'm weighing being with you...Copy !req
1323. against these shit tradeoffs.Copy !req
1324. I'm doing math.Copy !req
1325. This is what I'm like.Copy !req
1326. I know what you're like.Copy !req
1327. Then how could you
still love me?Copy !req
1328. - Sophie?
- Lucy.Copy !req
1329. I didn't know
who else to call.Copy !req
1330. I haven't told anyone.Copy !req
1331. I don't have
any friends in the cityCopy !req
1332. and my lawyers
aren't picking up and...Copy !req
1333. What's going on?Copy !req
1334. Mark is
outside my building.Copy !req
1335. I called the cops
but they said they won't comeCopy !req
1336. unless he's trying
to break in.Copy !req
1337. And...Copy !req
1338. he's not trying to break in,Copy !req
1339. he's just
buzzing the doorbell.Copy !req
1340. That's still harassment,
they should—Copy !req
1341. He walked me home
after the date.Copy !req
1342. Which I shouldn't have
let him do, but...Copy !req
1343. I was scared and...Copy !req
1344. - It's my fault.
- Lucy.Copy !req
1345. That's not your fault.Copy !req
1346. Can we
finish talking, please?Copy !req
1347. He says he just
wants to talk about it,Copy !req
1348. but I'm not gonna let him in.Copy !req
1349. No.Copy !req
1350. Bolt your door.Copy !req
1351. I'm about an hour
outside of Manhattan,Copy !req
1352. but I'll try
to get there sooner.Copy !req
1353. I'm worried
someone's going to openCopy !req
1354. the building door for him.Copy !req
1355. I'm almost there.Copy !req
1356. He has to leave. He can't stay
outside all night, can he?Copy !req
1357. I want you to tell him
someone is on their way.Copy !req
1358. Sophie, it's Lucy.Copy !req
1359. Is he gone?Copy !req
1360. Yes. No one was here
when we got here.Copy !req
1361. Oh.
He must've run awayCopy !req
1362. when I said
that you're coming.Copy !req
1363. Can I come in?Copy !req
1364. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
1365. How are you holding up?Copy !req
1366. Uh, not good.Copy !req
1367. Mark sounded really angry.Copy !req
1368. Well, he's angry because...Copy !req
1369. he thought he was going
to get away with something...Copy !req
1370. but he won't...Copy !req
1371. because you're not
going to let him.Copy !req
1372. You are brave.Copy !req
1373. Can I hug you?Copy !req
1374. You know what I've been
thinking about?Copy !req
1375. What?Copy !req
1376. I really need
to get a boyfriendCopy !req
1377. so that I have someone to callCopy !req
1378. that's not
my fucking matchmaker.Copy !req
1379. I'm going to die alone.Copy !req
1380. Sophie.Copy !req
1381. I promise you, you're going to
marry the love of your life.Copy !req
1382. You don't expect me
to believe that.Copy !req
1383. You don't have to believe it.Copy !req
1384. I believe it.Copy !req
1385. Let me guess.Copy !req
1386. Someone who checks a lot of
my boxes?Copy !req
1387. I'm not asking for a miracle.Copy !req
1388. I just want to love someone.Copy !req
1389. Someone who can't help
but love me back.Copy !req
1390. She's asleep.Copy !req
1391. Good.Copy !req
1392. You okay?Copy !req
1393. Yeah.Copy !req
1394. You should go home.Copy !req
1395. I'll take you home first.Copy !req
1396. I'm gonna sleep
on her couch...Copy !req
1397. and help her get a restraining
order when she wakes up.Copy !req
1398. Okay.Copy !req
1399. Thanks for the ride.Copy !req
1400. Yeah, of course.Copy !req
1401. You asked
how I could love you.Copy !req
1402. I just do.Copy !req
1403. It's the easiest thing.Copy !req
1404. I love you too.Copy !req
1405. More than you know.Copy !req
1406. You're the only reason I know
I'm capable of love.Copy !req
1407. I've been doing some math.Copy !req
1408. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1409. And I'm ready
to make you an offer.Copy !req
1410. Okay.Copy !req
1411. Here's the offer.Copy !req
1412. I love you now,
like I loved you before...Copy !req
1413. I'll love you
'til the day I die.Copy !req
1414. It's a lifetime guarantee.Copy !req
1415. And I won't forget it
the way I used to...Copy !req
1416. even when things are shit.Copy !req
1417. I'll make a calendar itemCopy !req
1418. every day reminding myself
that I love you.Copy !req
1419. I'll be your certainty.Copy !req
1420. It's my final offer.Copy !req
1421. You can't negotiate becauseCopy !req
1422. I don't have anything else
to offer you.Copy !req
1423. Deal.Copy !req
1424. Now I admit, I'm not confidentCopy !req
1425. that I can make myself
less broke.Copy !req
1426. You don't need
to worry about that.Copy !req
1427. You know
I can take care of myself.Copy !req
1428. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
1429. It's not for you.Copy !req
1430. It's for me.Copy !req
1431. For us.Copy !req
1432. You make me brave enoughCopy !req
1433. to admit that
I want to be happy.Copy !req
1434. And I want to be happy
with you.Copy !req
1435. And I'm gonna pick up
more catering shifts...Copy !req
1436. And ask for a raise...Copy !req
1437. I'll find a serving job
at an actual restaurant...Copy !req
1438. And I won't say no
to commercial auditions,Copy !req
1439. even though
they're annoying...Copy !req
1440. I'll make an actual effort
to find a manager.Copy !req
1441. And I'm going to move out
of my apartment.Copy !req
1442. And sell my car.Copy !req
1443. Don't sell your car.Copy !req
1444. No?Copy !req
1445. No, let's just...Copy !req
1446. Let's just
drive around in it...Copy !req
1447. until it breaks down
and it won't move anymore.Copy !req
1448. I've been dreaming aboutCopy !req
1449. the first people
who got married.Copy !req
1450. Two cavepeople...
fell in love...Copy !req
1451. in between the hunting
and the gathering.Copy !req
1452. And in my dream...Copy !req
1453. I keep asking myself...Copy !req
1454. what made them perfect
for each other?Copy !req
1455. Similar economic background?Copy !req
1456. Politically aligned?Copy !req
1457. Well-matched
in their attractiveness?Copy !req
1458. Similar upbringing?Copy !req
1459. Or...Copy !req
1460. was it something else?Copy !req
1461. Something like you and me?Copy !req
1462. Hey, man.Copy !req
1463. Can I get
two chicken over rice?Copy !req
1464. Yeah.Copy !req
1465. Thanks a lot. Keep that.Copy !req
1466. I'm sad you're leaving, Vi.Copy !req
1467. Me too. They really
need me at the London office.Copy !req
1468. And I'm calling you first
of all the Adore girls...Copy !req
1469. because the CEOs asked me
who should be asked to step upCopy !req
1470. and be promoted...
to New York headCopy !req
1471. and I said it absolutely
has to be you.Copy !req
1472. - Me?
- Yes.Copy !req
1473. You're getting a promotion.Copy !req
1474. What's so funny?Copy !req
1475. Well, I was going to hand inCopy !req
1476. my resignation letter
tomorrow.Copy !req
1477. No, you weren't.Copy !req
1478. Yep. I have it printed out
and everything.Copy !req
1479. You can't quit.Copy !req
1480. What would you do instead?Copy !req
1481. I honestly don't know.Copy !req
1482. Maybe marry someone poor.Copy !req
1483. I don't knowCopy !req
1484. what you're talking about.Copy !req
1485. Just think about it.Copy !req
1486. You can negotiateCopy !req
1487. a crazy salary, too.Copy !req
1488. Ask for any amount you want,Copy !req
1489. and I'll support you. Okay?Copy !req
1490. Okay, I'll think about it.Copy !req
1491. Vi, I have to go.
My boyfriend's here.Copy !req
1492. Yeah,
before you go, tell me:Copy !req
1493. How did Sophie L.'s date
go last night?Copy !req
1494. She liked him.Copy !req
1495. Brian A., right?Copy !req
1496. Yeah.Copy !req
1497. 5'8". 36. Dentist.Copy !req
1498. 200 grand before taxes.Copy !req
1499. Just...
looking for a nice girl.Copy !req
1500. Sounds like
a strong match.Copy !req
1501. He liked her too.Copy !req
1502. We are cautiously optimistic.Copy !req
1503. Good.Copy !req
1504. You should know Harry C.
is going on his first date.Copy !req
1505. Rose made a very strong match.Copy !req
1506. Gemma N., 30, an art dealer.Copy !req
1507. Vi, I have to go.Copy !req
1508. Fine,
but hear the offer first.Copy !req
1509. I will.Copy !req
1510. Call me.Copy !req
1511. Hi.Copy !req
1512. How would you like to make
a very bad financial decision?Copy !req