1. What I love about Nicole.
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2. She makes people feel comfortable
about even embarrassing things.
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3. - You look like you care about animals.
- Yes, I do.
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4. She really listens
when someone is talking.
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5. Do you wanna sign up here?
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6. You know what?
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7. It's funny, I actually signed up for this
but I never heard from you guys.
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8. Sometimes she listens too much
for too long.
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9. Okay, if you email me here—
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10. - Thank you so much. Have a good day.
- Good luck.
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11. She's a good citizen.
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12. - Just call him.
- I'm not calling.
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13. She always knows the right thing to do
when it comes to difficult family shit.
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14. Call him.
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15. I get stuck in my ways
and she knows when to push me
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16. and when to leave me alone.
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17. She cuts all our hair.
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18. Yeah!
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19. She's always inexplicably
brewing a cup of tea
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20. that she doesn't drink.
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21. And it's not easy for her
to put away a sock or close a cabinet
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22. or do a dish, but she tries for me.
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23. Nicole grew up in LA around actors
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24. and directors and movies and TV,
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25. and is very close to her mother, Sandra,
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26. and Cassie, her sister.
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27. Note the wrapping.
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28. Nicole gives great presents.
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29. She is a mother who plays, really plays.
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30. She never steps off playing
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31. or says it's too much.
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32. Mom.
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33. And it must be too much some of the time.
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34. "... chopped down a Christmas tree..."
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35. All right.
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36. Nice. Two, three, four.
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37. What?
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38. Are you kidding me? I was just in jail!
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39. Goddamn it!
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40. Do not laugh at me. Stop it.
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41. She's competitive.
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42. She's amazing at opening jars
because of her strong arms,
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43. which I've always found very sexy.
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44. She keeps the fridge over-full.
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45. No one is ever hungry in our house.
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46. She can drive a stick.
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47. How could you?
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48. After that movie, All Over the Girl,
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49. she could have stayed in LA
and been a movie star,
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50. but she gave that up to do theater
with me in New York.
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51. You might as well get what you paid for.
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52. She's brave.
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53. She's a great dancer.
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54. Infectious.
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55. She makes me wish I could dance.
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56. She always says
when she doesn't know something
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57. or hasn't read a book
or seen a film or a play,
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58. whereas I fake it or say something
like, "I haven't seen that in awhile."
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59. My crazy ideas are her favorite things
to figure out how to execute.
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60. Let's try it...
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61. crawling...
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62. but also standing.
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63. She's my favorite actress.
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64. What I love about Charlie.
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65. Charlie is undaunted.
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66. He never lets other people's opinions
or any setbacks
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67. keep him from what he wants to do.
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68. Charlie eats like he's trying
to get it over with
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69. and like there won't be enough food
for everyone.
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70. A sandwich is to be strangled
while devoured.
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71. Is your shirt on backwards?
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72. But he's incredibly neat,
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73. and I rely on him
to keep things in order.
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74. So...
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75. He's energy-conscious.
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76. Sorry.
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77. He doesn't look in the mirror too often.
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78. I cried four times.
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79. Me too.
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80. He cries easily in movies.
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81. I wonder if it was the same four.
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82. He's very self-sufficient.
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83. He can darn a sock
and cook himself dinner and iron a shirt.
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84. How are we doing over here?
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85. The peppers are cut.
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86. He rarely gets defeated, which...
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87. I feel like I always do.
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88. cut some carrots.
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89. Charlie takes all of my moods steadily.
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90. He doesn't give in to them
or make me feel bad about them.
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91. He's a great dresser.
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92. He never looks embarrassing,
which is hard for a man.
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93. Goddamn it, Charlie, get it together!
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94. He's very competitive.
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95. Oh, come on!
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96. - What's this? Who owns Baltic Avenue?
- Me.
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97. How much is it? I don't have enough.
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98. Four hundred and fifty dollars.
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99. Okay, so I'm done?
I'm done, right? That's it?
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100. This is so frustrating!
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101. This is so frustrating.
I always lose at this game.
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102. - Dad?
- He loves being a dad.
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103. He loves all the things you're supposed
to hate, like the tantrums,
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104. the waking up at night.
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105. I had a bad dream.
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106. It's okay.
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107. It's almost annoying how much he likes it,
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108. but then it's mostly nice.
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109. Dad, stay.
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110. He disappears into his own world.
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111. Shit.
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112. - What's shit?
- This is our stop.
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113. He and Henry are alike in that way.
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114. He can tell people
when they have food in their teeth
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115. or on their face in a way
that doesn't make them feel bad.
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116. Did you get it? Perfect.
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117. Charlie is self-made.
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118. His parents...
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119. I only met them once, but...
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120. he told me there was a lot of alcohol
and some violence in his childhood.
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121. As soon as she comes with a lookout,
they come in on the camcorder.
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122. - Camcorder.
- Is that what they're called now?
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123. He moved to New York from Indiana
with no safety net.
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124. And now he's more New Yorker
than any New Yorker.
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125. Made sure they used the right almond milk.
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126. Genius.
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127. He's brilliant at creating family
out of whoever is around.
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128. With the theater company, he cast a spell
that made everyone feel included.
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129. No one, not even an intern,
was unimportant.
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130. He could remember all the inside jokes.
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131. Where do you go when it's windy?
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132. Oh, yeah, that... that was funny.
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133. He's extremely organized and thorough.
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134. He's very clear about what he wants,
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135. unlike me, who can't always tell.
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136. Let's stop right there.
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137. Who wants to start?
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138. I'm not gonna read this out loud.
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139. Why is that?
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140. Because I don't like what I wrote.
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141. As we mediate your separation
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142. and eventual divorce...
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143. things can get quite contentious.
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144. So I like to begin
with a note of positivity
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145. for the people I work with to remember
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146. why they got married in the first place.
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147. And so that, as you come apart,
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148. you're reminded that...
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149. this is a person
you had great feeling for,
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150. and maybe still do in many ways.
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151. I'll read mine. I like what I wrote.
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152. For it to really work,
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153. you both have to read.
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154. I'm not going to.
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155. Okay, um...
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156. I just think it's a shame
that you guys aren't gonna get to hear
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157. the wonderful things
you wrote about each other.
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158. She always says I can't write,
but I think mine's pretty good.
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159. Nicole, maybe you'd change your mind
once you heard Charlie's.
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160. I don't wanna hear Charlie's.
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161. We promised to listen.
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162. That's right.
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163. That's the very first step
in this process.
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164. Well, I think I'm gonna go
if you two are gonna just sit around
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165. and suck each other's dicks.
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166. How can this evil allow moderation?
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167. How can this evil allow moderation?
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168. How can it be right
to betray the departed?
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169. How is it human to be so...
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170. faithless?
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171. I want no praise from impious men.
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172. No home with them of quiet ease.
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173. Noble blood still runs in my veins.
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174. Shall I fail my father...
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175. stifling my cries,
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176. clipping the wings of grief?
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177. Must his corpse in the ground
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178. wretchedly waste away,
feebly count for nothing?
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179. Must his killers gloat,
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180. - never to pay with blood for blood?
- Must his killers gloat,
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181. never to pay with blood for blood?
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182. Charlie gave me the note,
but it's really for you.
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183. - He told me to pick up my cues.
- How is that for me?
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184. Acting is reacting.
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185. - I'm responding to you.
- I got intimate.
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186. - And you're slowing me down.
- Frank, it's closing night, you know.
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187. You don't think Charlie and Nicole
will ever get back together?
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188. No, I think this time it's really over.
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189. It still feels weird.
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190. I feel like my parents are splitting up.
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191. It's always been Charlie and Nicole.
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192. - Is Charlie still giving notes?
- Yep.
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193. You're lucky. I wish I was going to LA.
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194. You can actually have space in LA.
There's no space here.
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195. But there's no winter.
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196. Ladies and gentlemen,
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197. I wanna make a toast
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198. to Charlie
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199. and to our beloved Nicole,
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200. who is going to be going out
on a new adventure
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201. all the way to sunny California.
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202. And we are also going to try
something new.
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203. We are going to take our play
to Broadway.
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204. Yeah!
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205. It reminds me of when I was a young person
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206. and went to Broadway for the first time.
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207. And I'm telling you,
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208. winning your first Tony at 27,
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209. it can mess with your head.
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210. I mean, I was just a baby.
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211. - Elia Kazan was backstage...
- I'm gonna go over there now.
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212. - Don't do it. Mary Ann?
- ... elbowing Mike Nichols.
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213. And Mike was jabbing with Dietrich,
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214. and Marlene, you know,
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215. she usually was a barrel of monkeys,
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216. but tonight she was very,
very serious. And of course...
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217. - Could you give me a second?
- ... later I realized, "My, but that—"
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218. Well, I'd have to study it,
but I'd say you got...
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219. - Hi.
- Oh.
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220. Hey, I didn't expect you guys home
until late.
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221. - How's he doing?
- Good. He went to bed on time.
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222. No fuss. Read him some
of Cricket in Time Square.
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223. God, you guys are so attractive.
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224. Shit. Sorry, I didn't stop that
from being said.
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225. No, it's okay.
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226. I'll pay for the whole time.
We decided to come home early.
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227. Hey, thanks. And also...
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228. conversation as well as anybody,
but I've gotta run.
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229. Hasta pronto, if you know what I mean.
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230. - You're leaving?
- Well, I ain't movin' in.
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231. Oh, we'll be back when you get your—
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232. If you don't like that mediator,
we'll find another one.
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233. - Yeah.
- We might not need a mediator.
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234. We'll split everything anyway,
I don't care.
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235. - Me neither.
- You can have most of it.
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236. We'll get apartments near each other,
make it easier for Henry.
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237. We'll figure it out.
We want the same things.
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238. - Right.
- Meantime, the pilot will be fun for you.
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239. You don't think it's bad, do you?
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240. I don't ever watch TV,
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241. so, you know, I can't tell.
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242. I told Henry I'd come out to LA
in two weeks to see him.
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243. Yes?
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244. Nothing.
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245. I can tell you wanna give me a note.
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246. No, I don't.
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247. Yeah, I mean... yes, I do, but I guess...
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248. I guess it doesn't matter now.
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249. You won't be with the show anymore.
It's stupid.
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250. You're not gonna be able to sleep
until you tell me.
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251. Maybe not.
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252. Okay, then.
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253. So there are two things.
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254. I thought your posture at the top
of scene seven is still too dignified.
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255. Okay.
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256. And then...
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257. at the end, I could tell
you were pushing for the emotion.
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258. Well, you know I can't cry on stage
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259. and I know you don't like it
when I fake it, but...
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260. I thought maybe tonight
it would come, but...
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261. it didn't.
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262. That's all I had.
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263. Thanks for indulging me.
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264. Good night, Charlie.
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265. This is the day, this is the day
That the Lord has made
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266. That the Lord has made
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267. Let us rejoice
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268. Let us rejoice and be glad in it
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269. And be glad in it
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270. Mom.
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271. G-ma, summer is for relaxing.
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272. This is the day...
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273. What do you wanna do today?
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274. Hang out and relax with you.
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275. - Me too.
- No relaxing.
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276. Nicole has a hair and makeup test today,
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277. and Henry, we got you into Fairy Camp
with the cousins.
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278. I hate Fairy Camp.
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279. Cassie says everyone likes Fairy Camp,
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280. and I think this is true.
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281. Henry, go make your mom some coffee
like I taught you.
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282. Mom, wait till you taste my coffee.
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283. Oop-a-doodle.
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284. Do you always sleep together?
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285. Even in New York?
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286. No, it's just for right now
while we go through this transition.
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287. Oh, shit.
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288. Don't tell Charlie when he gets here.
He hates co-sleeping.
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289. Well, I have to say, I agree with Charlie.
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290. Oh, surprise surprise.
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291. - It's as if you have exploded...
- Jesus, it's early.
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292. into this room.
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293. I can do this part alone.
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294. Fine. I won't look.
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295. As long as you're in my house,
wake up is at 6:30 a.m.,
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296. and until you know what you wanna do,
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297. we're gonna do what I like to do.
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298. I can't just go from what Charlie
wanted to do to what you want to do.
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299. Even though I am 64
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300. and have a dead gay husband,
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301. I manage to get up every day,
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302. live my life, and feel pretty good
about myself.
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303. So maybe your mom knows a thing or two.
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304. You know what I would do?
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305. About what?
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306. When Charlie gets here,
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307. I'd whisk him off to Palm Springs.
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308. That's what your father and I did
whenever we hit a speed bump.
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309. Didn't you walk in on Dad
blowing the porter in Palm Springs?
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310. And I always regretted
getting so upset about it.
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311. Charlie and I are getting a divorce, Mom.
There's nothing for us in Palm Springs.
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312. You need to wash your face
before you go to sleep.
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313. When Daddy gets here,
maybe we could all go on the Jaws ride.
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314. Yeah.
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315. Or I could go once with Daddy
and once with you
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316. because I wouldn't mind
going twice anyway.
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317. We'll all go together, sweetheart.
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318. Did you know that Universal Studios
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319. is where I did my first screen test?
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320. On the plane, I re-read the pilot
as if I were Charlie reading it
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321. and I started to think it was just bad.
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322. My agent says it's one to watch.
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323. This coffee is good. Thank you.
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324. You're welcome.
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325. What if Charlie is on Broadway
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326. with a play I brought him,
which I originated,
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327. and I'm just doing bad TV?
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328. Everyone is only impressed
when they see someone on TV.
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329. She's beautiful.
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330. - Her wig looks great.
- Where's she been for the past ten years?
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331. Doing weird theater in New York,
downtown shit.
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332. - I saw one. It rained onstage.
- Can I say something?
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333. It was good. It was edgy.
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334. Directed by her husband.
Supposedly very controlling.
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335. - We're lucky to have her.
- I'm surprised she said yes.
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336. We can thank her divorce.
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337. Can she move her hand?
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338. It'll be hard to roto in the hair
on the baby around her fingers.
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339. Can you move your hand
further down the baby?
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340. Where? Like here?
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341. Off the head entirely.
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342. I have to support his head.
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343. No, support the head, of course.
Just try and do it from the shoulders.
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344. - It's perfect.
- Yes, good.
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345. - I can't hold a baby like this.
- She's right, that's gonna look weird.
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346. We can totally do it.
It'll just take time and money.
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347. It's very important
to have this show based on hard science.
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348. So we can see your pretty face
and not ours.
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349. You should've seen me
before the plants invaded.
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350. I say that with respect.
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351. I was raised by two mothers.
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352. Can you lower the board please, Pablo?
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353. Here? How about here?
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354. - How about now?
- Why is there always a flirty grip?
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355. I can do anything you want.
I need her here two hours before—
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356. Can I say something?
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357. Hold on. What, honey?
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358. She has to know how to hold a baby.
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359. Later on, after she kills Donny...
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360. - She kills Donny?
- That's a secret.
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361. she becomes a sort of a Earth mother...
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362. to the plant community.
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363. That's not gonna make any sense if we feel
like she's a bad mother to her own kid.
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364. - She's right.
- Does Donny know?
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365. - Must be nice to get out of New York.
- Well, I'm from out here.
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366. Our daughter, Mia, is at NYU,
living in a shoebox.
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367. She says it went up to 104 the other day.
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368. - We are just so excited to have you.
- I'm excited to be here.
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369. We're going for an early aughts aesthetic,
so having your presence just nails that.
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370. What signifies early aughts?
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371. - Into the Girl was on TV...
- All Over the Girl.
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372. or streaming or something.
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373. You are fucking hot in that movie.
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374. - Carol.
- Fuck it, I speak my mind.
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375. - We're not allowing our son to see it.
- Because you show your tits.
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376. - Carol!
- Dennis.
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377. This is Carter Mitchum.
He's a futurist at UCLA.
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378. He's consulting on all the environmental
stuff for the show so it's accurate.
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379. - Nice to meet you.
- Is it?
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380. - What?
- Accurate?
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381. So far, none of it.
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382. This pilot will go.
So just get ready to move back to LA.
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383. Everything you were saying back there
was absolutely right.
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384. - If she's a bad mom, we lose the audience.
- Nobody knows we're killing Donny,
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385. including Donny.
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386. I thought—
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387. Let us know if you'd like to be part
of our writer's room.
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388. I bet you'd be really helpful, actually.
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389. Or I could direct.
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390. - No, yeah.
- Sorry, what? Maybe that sounds crazy.
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391. No, do you have a reel?
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392. No, because I've never done it.
I watched my husband do it for years.
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393. Almost ex-husband.
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394. Oh, what's the opposite of fiancé?
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395. Dennis and I'll talk
to your agent about it.
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396. At our theater I always wanted to direct,
and then Charlie would say something
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397. like, "The next one,"
but he was always the director,
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398. so there never was a next one.
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399. I don't know. Maybe if we'd stayed married
there would've been.
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400. We're gonna kill him off.
It seems unlikely...
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401. I'm gonna give you a number.
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402. Okay, is it a therapist?
'Cause I have a therapist.
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403. Well, it's my mom's therapist.
We share her.
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404. She's a lawyer. She represented me
when I left Dennis.
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405. Oh. You and Dennis are divorced?
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406. Since 2013.
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407. You still work together.
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408. That's nice.
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409. Oh, no, he's a fucking cocksucker.
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410. Nora got me half of this project
in the settlement.
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411. Well, we talked about doing it
without lawyers.
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412. My sister had me meet
a bunch of them already
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413. and I just hated them.
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414. Call Nora.
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415. She saved my life.
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416. Sorry, I...
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417. look so schleppy.
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418. I had an event at my kid's school.
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419. Let me get this out of the way.
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420. I think you're a wonderful actress.
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421. Thank you.
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422. I loved All Over the Girl,
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423. but the theater stuff too...
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424. You saw the theater stuff?
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425. I was in New York last year for my book,
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426. which, remind me to give you a copy,
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427. and my publisher took me.
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428. Great.
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429. - Thank you.
- You're awesome.
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430. - Well, Charlie directed it.
- I know.
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431. He's very talented.
Copy !req
432. He is.
Copy !req
433. They're moving it to Broadway.
Copy !req
434. Well, without me, of course.
Copy !req
435. He was lucky to have you.
Copy !req
436. How are you doing?
Copy !req
437. - Oh.
- Sorry.
Copy !req
438. Honey...
Copy !req
439. You take some breaths.
Copy !req
440. And while you do,
I'm gonna tell you about myself.
Copy !req
441. If you should choose to hire me,
Copy !req
442. I will work tirelessly for you,
Copy !req
443. and I'm always available by phone or text,
Copy !req
444. except when I'm with my kids.
Copy !req
445. I insist on doing drop off and pick up
every day at school.
Copy !req
446. - I understand.
- I've been through this myself.
Copy !req
447. Thank you, Annie. So...
Copy !req
448. I know how it feels.
Copy !req
449. - You do?
- Yes.
Copy !req
450. I have a kid from my ex,
and he's a narcissistic artist...
Copy !req
451. and verbally abusive.
Copy !req
452. I'm now with a great boyfriend
who lives in Malibu.
Copy !req
453. Good.
Copy !req
454. Well, Charlie's not terrible.
Copy !req
455. No, of course not.
Copy !req
456. But they ravish you with attention
in the beginning,
Copy !req
457. and then once we have babies,
we become the mom
Copy !req
458. and they get sick of us.
Copy !req
459. Where do you wanna live now, doll?
Copy !req
460. Well...
Copy !req
461. I'm here now, obviously.
Copy !req
462. I don't know
if the show'll get picked up, but...
Copy !req
463. feels like home.
Copy !req
464. It is home.
Copy !req
465. It's the only home I've ever known
without Charlie.
Copy !req
466. You wanna stay here?
Copy !req
467. Charlie's not gonna want that. He...
Copy !req
468. He hates LA.
Copy !req
469. We're interested in what you wanna do.
Copy !req
470. Sounds to me
like you did your time in New York.
Copy !req
471. He can do some time here, no?
Copy !req
472. He always said we would, but he never...
Copy !req
473. did.
Copy !req
474. How old is your son?
Copy !req
475. Henry's eight.
Copy !req
476. He likes LA.
Copy !req
477. I don't know if it's fair to him.
Copy !req
478. I want you to listen to me.
Copy !req
479. What you're doing is an act of hope.
Copy !req
480. Do you understand that?
Copy !req
481. Yeah.
Copy !req
482. You're saying,
"I want something better for myself."
Copy !req
483. I do.
Copy !req
484. And this, right now, is the worst time.
Copy !req
485. It will only get better.
Copy !req
486. Wasn't it Tom Petty who said
"The waiting is the hardest part"?
Copy !req
487. I don't know.
Copy !req
488. I represented his wife
in their divorce.
Copy !req
489. I got her half of that song.
Copy !req
490. Oh, I don't want any money or anything.
Copy !req
491. I just worried 'cause we weren't
gonna use lawyers, so...
Copy !req
492. I don't wanna be too aggressive.
Copy !req
493. I wanna stay friends.
Copy !req
494. We'll do it as gently as possible.
Copy !req
495. Now...
Copy !req
496. can you tell me a little more
about what's going on?
Copy !req
497. Because part of what we're gonna
do together is tell your story.
Copy !req
498. It's difficult to articulate.
Copy !req
499. It's...
Copy !req
500. not as simple
as not being in love anymore.
Copy !req
501. I understand.
Copy !req
502. Why don't you start at the beginning?
Wherever that is for you.
Copy !req
503. Well...
Copy !req
504. I was engaged to Ben
Copy !req
505. and living in LA, you know?
Copy !req
506. And I felt like yes, I wanted
to make movies and marry Ben.
Copy !req
507. Oh, Jesus,
I was only 19 or 20 at the time.
Copy !req
508. I never felt older in my whole life.
Copy !req
509. Anyway, if I was honest with myself,
Copy !req
510. it was like a small part of me
felt dead...
Copy !req
511. or dead-ish.
Copy !req
512. You know, you tell yourself,
Copy !req
513. "No one's perfect,
no relationship's perfect."
Copy !req
514. Oh, this tea is delicious.
Copy !req
515. Isn't it? It's the Manuka honey.
Copy !req
516. Anyway, you were asking about Charlie.
Copy !req
517. So, um—
Copy !req
518. So, yes. So I was...
Copy !req
519. happy with Ben and aware of the deadness,
Copy !req
520. and I went to New York
Copy !req
521. to meet with this director
for this space movie.
Copy !req
522. But one where they take space seriously,
Copy !req
523. like sex trafficking in space.
Copy !req
524. You know, it was political.
Copy !req
525. Or at least they wanted us
to think it was. Anyway.
Copy !req
526. It just...
Copy !req
527. it was really fulfilling the same need
that certain fucked up porn does.
Copy !req
528. But anyway, so...
Copy !req
529. while I was there...
Copy !req
530. the producer...
Copy !req
531. invited me to see a play.
Copy !req
532. It took place in someone's apartment
with all the lights on.
Copy !req
533. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before.
Copy !req
534. This strange...
Copy !req
535. surreal, dystopian story,
Copy !req
536. and it was so well-acted.
Copy !req
537. And one of the actors
was this big shaggy bear
Copy !req
538. who played all his lines
looking directly at me,
Copy !req
539. which I knew couldn't be the case,
but it felt like it.
Copy !req
540. And then later,
of course, I learned that it was.
Copy !req
541. - These cookies are really great too.
- I'll send you home with some.
Copy !req
542. Afterwards, I was introduced to the cast,
Copy !req
543. and the bear turned out
to also be the director.
Copy !req
544. He talked to me and...
Copy !req
545. I talked back.
Copy !req
546. The dead part wasn't dead,
it was just in a coma.
Copy !req
547. And...
Copy !req
548. it was better than the sex, the talking.
Copy !req
549. Although the...
Copy !req
550. the sex was also like the talking.
Copy !req
551. You know, everything's like everything
in a relationship.
Copy !req
552. Don't you find that?
Copy !req
553. And...
Copy !req
554. So we spent...
Copy !req
555. the whole night
and the next day together and...
Copy !req
556. I just never left.
Copy !req
557. Yes, to be honest, all the problems
were there in the beginning too.
Copy !req
558. But I just went along with him
and his life because it felt so damn good
Copy !req
559. to feel myself alive.
Copy !req
560. In the beginning,
I was the actress, the star and...
Copy !req
561. that felt like something, you know,
people came to see me at first, but...
Copy !req
562. the farther away I got from that and...
Copy !req
563. the more acclaim the theater company got,
and I had less and less weight.
Copy !req
564. I just became...
Copy !req
565. "Who?
Copy !req
566. Well, you know, the actress
that was in that thing that time."
Copy !req
567. And he was the draw.
Copy !req
568. And that...
Copy !req
569. would've been fine, but...
Copy !req
570. I got smaller.
Copy !req
571. I realized I...
Copy !req
572. I didn't ever come alive for myself.
I was just feeding his aliveness.
Copy !req
573. And...
Copy !req
574. you know...
Copy !req
575. he was so smart and creative, it...
Copy !req
576. it was fine.
Copy !req
577. You know, I would tell him things
at home in private
Copy !req
578. and they would work their way into public
conversation into his work, and...
Copy !req
579. for a while, that felt like enough,
I mean, I was just so...
Copy !req
580. so flattered that someone like him
Copy !req
581. would find an idea I had worth trying
Copy !req
582. or a comment I made worth repeating and...
Copy !req
583. and then I got pregnant.
Copy !req
584. And I thought that having a baby
could be ours, could really be ours,
Copy !req
585. but also really mine.
Copy !req
586. And, you know, he was so excited.
Copy !req
587. So it was nice.
Copy !req
588. For a while.
Copy !req
589. I mean, kids, they...
Copy !req
590. they belong to themselves, it's like...
Copy !req
591. the instant
they leave your body, it's just...
Copy !req
592. the process of them going away...
Copy !req
593. And I didn't belong to myself.
Copy !req
594. And it was small stuff,
stupid stuff, and big stuff.
Copy !req
595. All the furniture in our house,
Copy !req
596. that was his taste.
Copy !req
597. I didn't even know
what my taste was anymore
Copy !req
598. because I'd never been asked to use it.
Copy !req
599. I didn't even pick our apartment.
I just moved into his.
Copy !req
600. And I made noises
about wanting to move back to LA,
Copy !req
601. but they came to nothing.
Copy !req
602. And we'd come here on holidays
because he liked my family.
Copy !req
603. But if I suggested
we do a year or something,
Copy !req
604. he'd just put me off.
Copy !req
605. It would be...
Copy !req
606. strange if he turned to me and said,
Copy !req
607. "And what do you wanna do today?"
Copy !req
608. You know, I just watched that documentary
on George Harrison,
Copy !req
609. and I thought, "Own it.
Copy !req
610. Just own it.
Be like George Harrison's wife.
Copy !req
611. Being a wife and a mother, that's enough."
Copy !req
612. Yeah, then I realized I couldn't
remember her name, so...
Copy !req
613. This pilot came along.
Copy !req
614. It shot in LA and it paid so much,
Copy !req
615. and it was like there was
this little lifeline thrown to me.
Copy !req
616. Here's this bit of earth
that's yours, and...
Copy !req
617. I was embarrassed about it
in front of him, but it was also like...
Copy !req
618. yeah, this is who I am
Copy !req
619. and this is what I'm worth.
Copy !req
620. And maybe it's stupid,
Copy !req
621. but at least it's mine.
Copy !req
622. And if he had just taken me
into a big hug and said,
Copy !req
623. "Baby, I'm so excited for your adventure.
Copy !req
624. Of course I want you to have
a piece of earth that's yours,"
Copy !req
625. then...
Copy !req
626. well, then,
we might not be getting divorced.
Copy !req
627. But...
Copy !req
628. he made fun of it and...
Copy !req
629. was jealous like he is, and...
Copy !req
630. then he realized about the money.
Copy !req
631. And he told me I could funnel it
back into the theater company.
Copy !req
632. And that's when I realized...
Copy !req
633. he...
Copy !req
634. truly didn't see me.
Copy !req
635. He didn't see me as something
separate from himself.
Copy !req
636. And I asked him to say my phone number.
Copy !req
637. He didn't know it.
Copy !req
638. So I left.
Copy !req
639. Also, I think he slept
with the stage manager, Mary Ann.
Copy !req
640. That fucking asshole.
Copy !req
641. Seventy-five... just 70,
Copy !req
642. those two zeroes,
Copy !req
643. - seventy-five point zero zero...
- "If railroad is unowned...
Copy !req
644. - that's zero cents.
- ... you may buy it from the bank."
Copy !req
645. "Advance to Illios...
Copy !req
646. - Illinois.
- ... Illinois Avenue."
Copy !req
647. "Advance," what does that mean?
Copy !req
648. It means you've gotta go
to Illinois Avenue.
Copy !req
649. So where is Illinois Avenue?
Copy !req
650. That one.
Copy !req
651. So, Cassie, when Charlie gets here,
you're gonna hand him the envelope.
Copy !req
652. Why do I have to do it?
Copy !req
653. Because Nicole is very good
Copy !req
654. at getting people to do things for her.
Copy !req
655. - That's not what this is.
- I wiped her butt till she was nine.
Copy !req
656. - She's very seductive that way.
- No.
Copy !req
657. Mom, legally,
I can't be the one who serves him.
Copy !req
658. But still, what I'm saying is true.
Copy !req
659. Do I have to actually hand him
the envelope?
Copy !req
660. Yes, but I'm gonna tell him in advance
that they're divorce papers.
Copy !req
661. Nora says it doesn't
have to be so formal. Where is Henry?
Copy !req
662. He's playing in the living room
with Sam, Jules, and Molly.
Copy !req
663. Let's get them upstairs.
Copy !req
664. - Charlie's gonna be here soon.
- Sam, go upstairs.
Copy !req
665. So I'll tell Charlie what's happening,
Copy !req
666. and, Cassie,
you then hand him the envelope.
Copy !req
667. Okay...
Copy !req
668. I just get nervous.
Copy !req
669. Well, can you un-serve?
Copy !req
670. - What do you mean? Like take it back?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
671. - I think so.
- You should check.
Copy !req
672. In case we change our minds...
Copy !req
673. I'm not gonna change my mind.
Copy !req
674. - ... or we feel too bad for him.
- Maybe in case I do something wrong.
Copy !req
675. Now you're both just
making me feel bad, okay?
Copy !req
676. I'm sorry, I'm nervous!
Copy !req
677. Well, we all are.
Copy !req
678. And we love Charlie.
Copy !req
679. You have to stop loving him, Mom.
Copy !req
680. You can't be friends with him anymore.
Copy !req
681. Charlie and I have our own relationship,
Copy !req
682. independent of your marriage.
Copy !req
683. Just like I'm still friends
with Cassie's ex, Jeff.
Copy !req
684. Are you still seeing Jeff?
Copy !req
685. An occasional lunch.
Copy !req
686. I can't believe you!
Copy !req
687. And he still wants his camera back,
by the way.
Copy !req
688. Listen, nothing can be independent
of our marriage right now.
Copy !req
689. I can't believe I even have to explain
this to you. Just be on my side, okay?
Copy !req
690. - Okay.
- And stop seeing Jeff!
Copy !req
691. Cassie, you're the server.
Copy !req
692. Just let me practice a few times.
Copy !req
693. I was never a good auditioner.
Copy !req
694. - That's because you wanted it too bad.
- It's not an audition.
Copy !req
695. I'll play Charlie.
Copy !req
696. It's just my palms are so perspired.
Copy !req
697. Sweetie, you're blotting the envelope.
Copy !req
698. Maybe Nicole should play you.
Copy !req
699. Did you really just say that?
Copy !req
700. We don't need to practice.
This is not a performance.
Copy !req
701. Did we finish the other wine already?
Copy !req
702. - Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
703. Okay, let me get him.
You both go in the other room.
Copy !req
704. Cassie, you make sure that Henry
goes upstairs with Molly and Jules.
Copy !req
705. Happening now.
Copy !req
706. - Mom!
- I'm getting my wine.
Copy !req
707. What?
Copy !req
708. Henry's pooping
in the bathroom downstairs.
Copy !req
709. Can we transfer him to the one upstairs?
Copy !req
710. - I think it's mid-poop.
- Just grab him when he comes out.
Copy !req
711. - Cassie?
- What?
Copy !req
712. I'm putting the envelope
over here by the toaster.
Copy !req
713. Copy you.
Copy !req
714. - Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
715. Where's Henry?
Copy !req
716. He's pooping.
Copy !req
717. Hi, Henry!
Copy !req
718. Does this couch still open?
Copy !req
719. Yeah.
Copy !req
720. I got off the plane to a text, but don't
tell anyone yet. It's still a secret.
Copy !req
721. Okay.
Copy !req
722. I won a MacArthur grant.
Copy !req
723. Charlie! Oh, my God, that's great!
Copy !req
724. Congratulations.
Copy !req
725. I'll say it 'cause you can't,
it's the Genius Grant. You're a genius.
Copy !req
726. Oh, I'm really happy for you.
You deserve it.
Copy !req
727. It's yours too.
We did all of this together.
Copy !req
728. Thank you,
but it's yours, Charlie, you enjoy it.
Copy !req
729. I'm starving.
Copy !req
730. It's good money
and they parse it out over five years.
Copy !req
731. It means I can keep everyone
in the theater company employed,
Copy !req
732. - pay my credit card debt.
- So great.
Copy !req
733. Of course I went instantly to,
"It's all downhill from here.
Copy !req
734. Now my first Broadway play has to fail."
Copy !req
735. No.
Copy !req
736. We just started rehearsals again,
I don't know.
Copy !req
737. You always don't know at this point
and then it gets there.
Copy !req
738. Do I? 'Cause I don't remember.
Copy !req
739. I know, it's true, it'll be great.
Copy !req
740. Okay, I hope you're right.
Copy !req
741. - Everyone says hi.
- Oh.
Copy !req
742. Tell them hi. I miss everyone.
Copy !req
743. You'll see them again when you come back.
Copy !req
744. Gosh, a MacArthur, Broadway...
Copy !req
745. it's so exciting.
Copy !req
746. Congratulations, Charlie.
Copy !req
747. Which bathroom?
Copy !req
748. - What?
- Is he pooping?
Copy !req
749. Oh, downstairs.
Copy !req
750. Is your mom home?
Copy !req
751. Yeah, she's upstairs.
Copy !req
752. - Hey, how's it going?
- Nothing yet.
Copy !req
753. - It's me.
- I know.
Copy !req
754. - I just got here.
- Hi.
Copy !req
755. - I brought you something.
- Yay.
Copy !req
756. Mom's getting me a present too.
Copy !req
757. - Why?
- For pooping.
Copy !req
758. - I love you.
- I love you.
Copy !req
759. I don't think we should reward him
for pooping anymore.
Copy !req
760. I know, but he holds it in
and it's going on a week.
Copy !req
761. - It's its own reward. G-ma!
- Charlie-bird!
Copy !req
762. Stop it! Oh, God, I'm huge!
Copy !req
763. - You're as light as a feather.
- Mom?
Copy !req
764. Why didn't you respond to my last email?
Copy !req
765. Well, your emails are so articulate.
I get intimidated.
Copy !req
766. - Mom, can you—
- Now I'll lift you!
Copy !req
767. Mom?
Copy !req
768. Mom?
Copy !req
769. - Mom?
- What?
Copy !req
770. Upstairs.
Copy !req
771. I'm gonna write ya back now.
Copy !req
772. Cassie?
Copy !req
773. Hey, Charlie.
Copy !req
774. I like your haircut.
Copy !req
775. Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
776. - Mom?
- I'll go.
Copy !req
777. Henry's calling you, Nicole!
Copy !req
778. I hear him.
Copy !req
779. What's going on, Henry?
Copy !req
780. Can you ask Mom to come?
Copy !req
781. He wants you.
Copy !req
782. What kind of pie is that?
Copy !req
783. It's...
Copy !req
784. pecan.
Copy !req
785. - Did you make it?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
786. No, it's store-bought.
Copy !req
787. you know Joan's on Third?
Copy !req
788. Oh, yeah, it's good, right?
Copy !req
789. What?
Copy !req
790. The store, yeah.
Copy !req
791. Jules and Molly love it.
Copy !req
792. - Are you okay?
- Yes.
Copy !req
793. I'm just hot!
Copy !req
794. I'll pour you some water.
Copy !req
795. Nicole says you're doing a play?
Copy !req
796. I think you'd like it.
Copy !req
797. It's a great unproduced play
by this really interesting British writer.
Copy !req
798. - So you do an English accent?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
799. - It's more northern England.
- Oh.
Copy !req
800. What does that sound like?
Copy !req
801. You want a cup of tea, do ya?
Copy !req
802. Right. Good.
Copy !req
803. Oh, thank you, missus.
Copy !req
804. What is...
Copy !req
805. - What's this?
- Oh, it's a manila envelope, love.
Copy !req
806. Ooh, can I start over?
Copy !req
807. Has my name on it.
Copy !req
808. Jesus. Sorry.
Copy !req
809. You're served.
Copy !req
810. - What did you do?
- Nothing. I don't know.
Copy !req
811. I can't lie.
Copy !req
812. You're being served.
Copy !req
813. You guys are getting a di—
I don't know, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
814. I was gonna warn you
so it didn't become a thing. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
815. Feel like I'm in a dream.
Copy !req
816. We don't have a marriage anymore.
Copy !req
817. I know you don't want the disruption,
Copy !req
818. but you don't wanna be married.
Copy !req
819. Not really.
Copy !req
820. But I don't want this.
Copy !req
821. What did you expect was gonna happen?
Copy !req
822. I don't know,
I guess I didn't think it through,
Copy !req
823. but I thought we agreed
we weren't going to use lawyers.
Copy !req
824. I want...
Copy !req
825. I don't know, I'm trying to say this
as undramatically as possible.
Copy !req
826. I want...
Copy !req
827. an entirely different kind of life.
Copy !req
828. Let's wait until you finish this pilot
and come back to New York.
Copy !req
829. Let's figure it out there,
at home, together.
Copy !req
830. - Nora's known for being very fair.
- We don't need to do it with envelopes.
Copy !req
831. - This is Nora?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
832. She's great. I feel like
we could be friends with her.
Copy !req
833. Why do I feel like that won't happen?
Copy !req
834. It's just a formality.
Copy !req
835. - Why—
- You don't respond right away.
Copy !req
836. Why did Cassie have a pie?
Copy !req
837. The pie was hers.
The pie wasn't part of it.
Copy !req
838. Are you sure?
Copy !req
839. What would the pie have to do
with anything?
Copy !req
840. I don't know. It somehow makes it worse.
Copy !req
841. I'm sorry, but the pie was just a pie.
Copy !req
842. So what...
Copy !req
843. what do I do?
Copy !req
844. You get a lawyer too.
Copy !req
845. "'Well, I guess I better be going.'
Copy !req
846. Stuart rose from the ditch,
climbed into his car...
Copy !req
847. and started up the road
that led toward the north.
Copy !req
848. The sun was just coming up
over the hills on his right.
Copy !req
849. As he peered ahead into the great land
that stretched before him,
Copy !req
850. the way seemed long...
Copy !req
851. but the sky was bright.
Copy !req
852. And he somehow felt
he was headed in the right direction."
Copy !req
853. I forgot it ended that way.
Copy !req
854. Yeah, wow, Stuart really overreacted,
didn't you think?
Copy !req
855. He was upset about his boat.
Copy !req
856. Dad, you go away.
Copy !req
857. Mom, you stay.
Copy !req
858. - Hey, Daddy just got here.
- It's okay.
Copy !req
859. Love you.
Copy !req
860. You can come back and wake me up
and read to me later, Daddy, okay?
Copy !req
861. Okay.
Copy !req
862. - Will you come sleep in my bed later?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
863. Hang in there, Charlie-bird.
Copy !req
864. Thanks, G-ma.
Copy !req
865. He's in a mommy phase right now.
Copy !req
866. It's okay.
Copy !req
867. I'm sorry. I drank too much wine.
Copy !req
868. - I can imagine.
- Didn't eat dinner.
Copy !req
869. Stressful time.
Copy !req
870. I hope Henry didn't notice.
Copy !req
871. I'm sure he didn't.
Copy !req
872. Now that I'm a parent,
I realize my parents
Copy !req
873. were probably drunk all the time with me.
Copy !req
874. Yeah.
Copy !req
875. I'm sorry again.
Copy !req
876. Thanks.
Copy !req
877. Where are you staying?
Copy !req
878. Oh, well, I...
Copy !req
879. hadn't—
Copy !req
880. I guess I'll...
Copy !req
881. There's a new hotel on Highland that's...
Copy !req
882. supposedly not too expensive
and pretty nice.
Copy !req
883. Oh, okay, I'll check it out.
Copy !req
884. Again, that's great about the MacArthur.
Copy !req
885. Thanks.
Copy !req
886. - Charlie?
- Yeah?
Copy !req
887. Thanks.
Copy !req
888. - Fuck.
- What?
Copy !req
889. She's being represented by Nora.
Copy !req
890. She's supposedly very fair?
Copy !req
891. All right, here's the fact, Jack.
Copy !req
892. I charge $950 an hour.
Copy !req
893. Ted is $400.
Copy !req
894. If you have a stupid question,
you call Ted.
Copy !req
895. To start, we'll need a $25,000 retainer.
Copy !req
896. - That's more than I can—
- And all your financials.
Copy !req
897. We need to do a forensic accounting.
Copy !req
898. Which runs anywhere from ten to $20,000.
Copy !req
899. But if we can all agree right away,
it shouldn't get too bad,
Copy !req
900. - right?
- You were married here in LA?
Copy !req
901. Yes, because her mom and sister
are out here
Copy !req
902. - and I'm not close with my family.
- Your son was born out here?
Copy !req
903. Yes, because, again, her mom
and sister are out here and I'm not—
Copy !req
904. So you got married here,
Copy !req
905. your kid was born here...
Copy !req
906. and she served you here?
Copy !req
907. Yeah, but we lived in New York.
Copy !req
908. Why?
Copy !req
909. - There a problem?
- We'll have to reshape the narrative.
Copy !req
910. If you're serious
about having your child in New York,
Copy !req
911. this is what I suggest.
Copy !req
912. You take your kid—
Did you say his name was Fred?
Copy !req
913. - Henry.
- Henry?
Copy !req
914. Why did I say Fred?
Copy !req
915. Well, I have a kid named Fred.
Copy !req
916. You take Henry to New York
with you right now.
Copy !req
917. Then we file an action in New York.
Copy !req
918. We make this a New York case.
Copy !req
919. We need to make an argument
you're a New York-based family.
Copy !req
920. Well, we are.
Copy !req
921. Otherwise, you'll probably never
see your kid outside of LA again.
Copy !req
922. Really? No.
Copy !req
923. It's very hard to convince the courts
to move a kid.
Copy !req
924. As soon as you let your wife
and child leave New York,
Copy !req
925. you made life very difficult for yourself.
Copy !req
926. Yes, but as I said, we're
a New York family, that's just a fact.
Copy !req
927. She's here temporarily.
Copy !req
928. Then why do you think
she served you out here?
Copy !req
929. I don't... know,
Copy !req
930. but Henry wants to
go back to New York.
Copy !req
931. No, don't quote your kid.
Copy !req
932. He's just telling you
what you wanna hear.
Copy !req
933. And trust me,
he's telling her the opposite.
Copy !req
934. Let me have the Barbara file!
Copy !req
935. What's...
Copy !req
936. "Exit Goat"?
Copy !req
937. Exit Ghost. It's the name
of my theater company.
Copy !req
938. You're a director?
Copy !req
939. Theater director, yeah.
Copy !req
940. Anything I've seen?
Copy !req
941. I don't know. What have you seen?
Copy !req
942. Our production of Electra
is moving to Broadway...
Copy !req
943. which is exciting.
Copy !req
944. We have to make sure
that money is protected.
Copy !req
945. I mean, it's theater,
so it's not a lot of money.
Copy !req
946. I basically put whatever money I make
back in the theater.
Copy !req
947. I wonder.
Copy !req
948. Do we ask for support?
Copy !req
949. - Interesting.
- From Nicole?
Copy !req
950. I'm not going to do that.
Copy !req
951. Does your wife's family have money?
Copy !req
952. Her mother has some from her TV career.
Copy !req
953. And her father died.
Copy !req
954. Well, we could say that we don't want
her mother to see the kid,
Copy !req
955. draw her into the case.
Copy !req
956. In that instance,
her mother could pay your legal fees.
Copy !req
957. No.
Copy !req
958. I'm very close to her mom.
Copy !req
959. - Nicole's family has been my family—
- Yeah, but that's gonna change.
Copy !req
960. And I suggest you get used to it.
Copy !req
961. We need to hire a private investigator.
Copy !req
962. Really? I mean...
Copy !req
963. - Really?
- Does your wife do drugs or anything?
Copy !req
964. Coke?
Copy !req
965. Not in any real way.
Copy !req
966. Well, we're not gonna win
if she's the perfect mother.
Copy !req
967. She was addicted to Tums for a while.
Copy !req
968. Hey, it wasn't nothing.
She was up to a tube a day.
Copy !req
969. Have you noticed anyone following you?
Copy !req
970. No.
Copy !req
971. Well, keep an eye out.
Copy !req
972. Look, you need to be prepared for the fact
Copy !req
973. that Nora is gonna portray you
as a neglectful, absent father.
Copy !req
974. But I'm not.
Copy !req
975. You live in New York.
Copy !req
976. You're consumed with your work.
Copy !req
977. She and your kid are out here, struggling.
Copy !req
978. Nora's gonna use that strategy.
Copy !req
979. I'm sure of it.
Copy !req
980. But Nicole's not going to lie.
Copy !req
981. Listen, if we start from a place
of reasonable,
Copy !req
982. and they start from a place of crazy,
Copy !req
983. when we settle, we'll be somewhere
between reasonable and crazy.
Copy !req
984. Which is still crazy.
Copy !req
985. Half of crazy is crazy.
Copy !req
986. You know what people say, "Criminal
lawyers see bad people at their best,
Copy !req
987. divorce lawyers see good people
at their worst."
Copy !req
988. Before this is all over,
you're gonna hate me and Ted
Copy !req
989. just because of what we represent
in your life.
Copy !req
990. I'm sure you're right.
Copy !req
991. So tell me the story again.
Copy !req
992. - You came out here to see your kid.
- Maybe I'm not explaining this—
Copy !req
993. - She serves you.
- We're friendly, we're fine—
Copy !req
994. - What a bitch.
- We're figuring this out.
Copy !req
995. She's not a bitch.
Copy !req
996. Thanks, but this isn't—
We're doing it a different way.
Copy !req
997. And I can't even close to afford this.
Copy !req
998. I gotta get back to New York.
I have a Broadway play and rehearsals.
Copy !req
999. I was the hot shit at that time.
Copy !req
1000. Young, very sexy,
Copy !req
1001. with a great head of hair.
Copy !req
1002. I so appreciate that Charlie
gave me this opportunity.
Copy !req
1003. Or maybe I should thank Nicole.
Copy !req
1004. I heard Nicole's pilot went to series,
so she's moving to LA.
Copy !req
1005. And they put Henry in school out there.
Copy !req
1006. Is Charlie moving too?
Copy !req
1007. Not Charlie.
Copy !req
1008. He won't abandon us.
Copy !req
1009. And you can't do theater in LA.
Copy !req
1010. Charlie said she and Henry
are coming back to New York
Copy !req
1011. when she finishes filming her show.
Copy !req
1012. I wouldn't be so sure.
Copy !req
1013. Nicole was never gonna stay in New York,
that was obvious.
Copy !req
1014. She was probably
planning this move all along.
Copy !req
1015. When she sees an opportunity,
Copy !req
1016. believe me, she takes it.
Copy !req
1017. Well, LA is nice. The space.
Copy !req
1018. Four-time Oscar winner, sucking my...
Copy !req
1019. - Okay, how is everyone today?
- Hey!
Copy !req
1020. Nobody get too close.
I think I caught Donna's cold.
Copy !req
1021. - Sorry, Charlie.
- I'm expecting a Skype call from Henry,
Copy !req
1022. so I might have to step out.
Copy !req
1023. So, Charlie, what you're going through now
Copy !req
1024. is going to be horrible,
but it will be over.
Copy !req
1025. Thanks, Frank.
Copy !req
1026. - Another thing.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
1027. Fuck as many people
as you can right now.
Copy !req
1028. Women, men.
Copy !req
1029. - Take what I said seriously.
- You might need help wrapping the gauze.
Copy !req
1030. It needs to stay tight.
Copy !req
1031. Okay, I'm confused.
Copy !req
1032. What scene
is the Invisible Man outfit for?
Copy !req
1033. No, that's my Halloween costume,
Copy !req
1034. and the Frankenstein is for Henry.
Copy !req
1035. Oh, it's Frankenstein.
Copy !req
1036. He's coming here this weekend.
We're gonna trick or treat in the Slope.
Copy !req
1037. I made it more James Whale
than Kenneth Branagh.
Copy !req
1038. Perfect.
Copy !req
1039. Can I talk to you?
Copy !req
1040. Yeah, over...
Copy !req
1041. I've typed up the blocking
from the last two rehearsals,
Copy !req
1042. and here are the director notes
from that Danish production from the '70s.
Copy !req
1043. Where'd you find it?
Copy !req
1044. The library, duh.
Copy !req
1045. Can I come over tonight?
Copy !req
1046. Mary Ann, it's too hard now.
Copy !req
1047. I just can't be with anyone right now.
Copy !req
1048. But we did it when you were married
and we shouldn't have done it.
Copy !req
1049. And now that you're not married,
shouldn't we be doing it?
Copy !req
1050. I'm not not married yet.
Copy !req
1051. You're torturing yourself.
Copy !req
1052. Just make sure
everything doesn't go to hell.
Copy !req
1053. - I'm relying on you, okay?
- Fine.
Copy !req
1054. Thanks.
Copy !req
1055. I wish you'd accept generosity better.
Copy !req
1056. Hold on. Let me...
Copy !req
1057. - Hello?
- Is this Charlie Barber?
Copy !req
1058. Yes.
Copy !req
1059. Hi, this is Nora Fanshaw.
Copy !req
1060. I represent your wife, Nicole Barber.
Copy !req
1061. Hi.
Copy !req
1062. Do you have an attorney yet?
Copy !req
1063. No.
Copy !req
1064. Okay, then it's okay for me
to talk to you directly, okay?
Copy !req
1065. Okay.
Copy !req
1066. I'm calling because we haven't
received your response to our filing.
Copy !req
1067. Yeah, I've been rehearsing this play
and flying back and forth to LA.
Copy !req
1068. You're going to need
to file your response.
Copy !req
1069. Nicole said there was no rush.
Copy !req
1070. It's been more than 30 days
since you were served.
Copy !req
1071. By law, you're meant to respond within—
Copy !req
1072. I didn't like the first lawyer I met.
Copy !req
1073. It says that very clearly
on the document you were given.
Copy !req
1074. Did you read it?
Copy !req
1075. Yeah, but I thought
that's just what it says.
Copy !req
1076. We weren't even gonna do it
with lawyers.
Copy !req
1077. Charlie, I think I shouldn't
tuck in my shirt.
Copy !req
1078. - Nicole said I could take my time.
- And we've let you take your time.
Copy !req
1079. - It comes out during the love scene.
- Could you hold?
Copy !req
1080. What love scene?
Copy !req
1081. When I hug Beth.
Copy !req
1082. You don't hug Beth.
Copy !req
1083. I think it's something
we should explore.
Copy !req
1084. Can't you just tuck it in tighter
or get Donna to safety pin it?
Copy !req
1085. I also have a kind of a thing
Copy !req
1086. - about tucking things in.
- Charlie?
Copy !req
1087. If you don't file your response,
Copy !req
1088. we'll file a request
for default judgment against you.
Copy !req
1089. insecurities about my figure.
Copy !req
1090. - Charlie?
- Yes, sorry.
Copy !req
1091. Default judgment, what does that mean?
Don't hug Beth.
Copy !req
1092. We'll be able to lay claim
to whatever we want.
Copy !req
1093. What do you mean,
whatever you want of what?
Copy !req
1094. Your apartment, your things,
everything you own.
Copy !req
1095. We?
Copy !req
1096. She and I already discussed this.
We don't own that much stuff.
Copy !req
1097. She can have whatever she wants.
Copy !req
1098. And it means we'll set the number
of child support at its highest level
Copy !req
1099. and claim full custody of your child.
Copy !req
1100. Full custody?
Copy !req
1101. I mean, that's not even—
Copy !req
1102. This is what the law says.
Copy !req
1103. Nicole's not going to do that.
I mean, she won't.
Copy !req
1104. Charlie, I represent Nicole, and she's
aware of everything I'm saying to you.
Copy !req
1105. I just spoke to her this morning.
Copy !req
1106. Well, I spoke to her five minutes
before I got on the call.
Copy !req
1107. Okay, so what do I do?
Copy !req
1108. You need to get a lawyer
and respond immediately.
Copy !req
1109. Nicole wants to do this amicably,
but you're leaving us no other option.
Copy !req
1110. I'll get a lawyer.
Can I get a lawyer here?
Copy !req
1111. - I don't know where "here" is.
- New York.
Copy !req
1112. Ah! That's what all that honking is?
Copy !req
1113. No, you'll have to come to LA
and meet people in LA.
Copy !req
1114. I'm rehearsing a—
Copy !req
1115. If you don't respond in Los Angeles
by Friday, you'll leave us no choice.
Copy !req
1116. What? Which line?
Copy !req
1117. I have to take this.
Can you hold on a second, Charlie?
Copy !req
1118. Me and Mommy are in the middle
of a super secret treasure hunt.
Copy !req
1119. I thought the plane landed at 9:00.
Copy !req
1120. What are you wearing?
Copy !req
1121. Sock pants.
Copy !req
1122. It did. What are sock pants?
Copy !req
1123. He doesn't like to feel the breeze
on his legs.
Copy !req
1124. He dressed himself.
Copy !req
1125. There are long pants. Can I talk to you?
Copy !req
1126. - It's almost noon.
- There was traffic. We gotta get going.
Copy !req
1127. - Why don't we ever do a treasure hunt?
- Henry, can you wait a minute?
Copy !req
1128. No talking alone.
Copy !req
1129. Just one bit of talking alone,
then I'll be right there.
Copy !req
1130. I got a call from your lawyer.
Copy !req
1131. She said you'd take everything and...
Copy !req
1132. custody and everything
if I didn't respond.
Copy !req
1133. It's better if we let the lawyers do this.
Copy !req
1134. But she's saying things
I don't think you mean.
Copy !req
1135. Henry, we need to get going.
Copy !req
1136. I don't wanna go now.
Copy !req
1137. - Have you gotten a lawyer yet?
- That's what I'm here to do.
Copy !req
1138. Come on, Henry. I'm in a rush.
Copy !req
1139. I've three more clues.
Copy !req
1140. Why'd you start a treasure hunt
or whatever so close to my arrival?
Copy !req
1141. You were late. We were killing time.
Copy !req
1142. Honey, come. We're gonna finish
the treasure hunt later.
Copy !req
1143. - I'm gonna be rich.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1144. You're gonna go with your daddy,
it's gonna be fun.
Copy !req
1145. And I've got a present for you
when you get back as a reward.
Copy !req
1146. He's not going to the dentist.
Copy !req
1147. - I'm trying to help.
- I'm staying here.
Copy !req
1148. Come on.
Copy !req
1149. Henry?
Copy !req
1150. Got the booster?
Copy !req
1151. I have a booster.
Copy !req
1152. Oh, wait, no, it's not in.
Copy !req
1153. What's not in?
Copy !req
1154. The seat's not connected.
Copy !req
1155. I asked the rental company to install it.
Copy !req
1156. I think they can't
for liability reasons.
Copy !req
1157. - Do you know how these things—
- Let me just— Here, if you...
Copy !req
1158. - There should be a clip to clip onto.
- You have to. dig...
Copy !req
1159. Fuck!
Copy !req
1160. - Why fuck?
- Something sharp.
Copy !req
1161. Can't I stay with Mom?
Copy !req
1162. - No.
- Why not?
Copy !req
1163. It's my time with you.
I just flew 3,000 miles.
Copy !req
1164. I don't want to.
Copy !req
1165. Henry, get in the fuckin' car!
Copy !req
1166. I'm sorry, but, Jesus,
get in the fuckin' car.
Copy !req
1167. How do you spell Lego Bionicles?
Copy !req
1168. That's two words.
What does Lego start with?
Copy !req
1169. Just tell me.
Copy !req
1170. - Don't you wanna learn it?
- No.
Copy !req
1171. - It's on the box, anyway.
- L...
Copy !req
1172. Then what?
Copy !req
1173. E. You know,
everyone at the theater says hi.
Copy !req
1174. Hi. Then what?
Copy !req
1175. A "G" sound.
Copy !req
1176. - Are you excited for Halloween?
- J?
Copy !req
1177. G.
Copy !req
1178. - Then what?
- And an "O" sound.
Copy !req
1179. - O?
- Are you excited for Halloween?
Copy !req
1180. Yeah.
Copy !req
1181. Brought both our costumes.
Copy !req
1182. I'm going as a store-bought ninja.
Copy !req
1183. But we agreed.
I had Donna make you a Frankenstein.
Copy !req
1184. - I don't wanna be a Frankenstein anymore.
- Are you sure?
Copy !req
1185. Maybe just look at it.
Copy !req
1186. It's awesome. We'll be Frankenstein
and the Invisible Man.
Copy !req
1187. Mom bought me a ninja costume
Copy !req
1188. which is better because it costs more.
Copy !req
1189. Technically, the Frankenstein cost more
Copy !req
1190. when you factor in Donna's time
and the materials.
Copy !req
1191. The cousins are also gonna be ninjas.
Copy !req
1192. But Henry,
we went through all this trouble.
Copy !req
1193. Okay.
Copy !req
1194. Whatever you want.
Copy !req
1195. Please take the ticket.
Copy !req
1196. - Dad, you're too far.
- I know.
Copy !req
1197. Please take the ticket.
Copy !req
1198. So I'm not comfortable
leaving the bags in the car
Copy !req
1199. where I've given the key to someone
I don't really know.
Copy !req
1200. I've been here.
Copy !req
1201. It's an office building,
so you've been to places like this before.
Copy !req
1202. I remember those fish.
Copy !req
1203. A lot of fish look the same.
Copy !req
1204. Can I help you?
Copy !req
1205. I'm Charlie Barber.
I have a 1:30 with Dan Cohen.
Copy !req
1206. Oh, hi. Where's your little man?
Copy !req
1207. I don't have it this time.
I keep my skeletons at my mom's.
Copy !req
1208. Okay.
Copy !req
1209. Oh, okay.
Copy !req
1210. I'm sorry. We tried to reach you.
Copy !req
1211. Mr. Cohen wanted me to apologize.
Copy !req
1212. He can't see you because apparently
your wife already met with him
Copy !req
1213. on the 7th of August about representation.
Copy !req
1214. But she hired somebody else.
Copy !req
1215. - Nora...
- Fanshaw?
Copy !req
1216. But unfortunately, because she consulted
with Mr. Cohen already,
Copy !req
1217. he's legally barred from representing you.
Copy !req
1218. - Should we feed the fish?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1219. - It happens all the time.
- Really?
Copy !req
1220. If you have a ticket,
I can validate your parking.
Copy !req
1221. It's common that people meet
with as many lawyers as possible
Copy !req
1222. so that their spouse has limited options.
Copy !req
1223. Oh, I don't think
she would've done it deliberately.
Copy !req
1224. You'd be surprised.
Copy !req
1225. Can all of them, like,
breathe out of the water?
Copy !req
1226. Do you go to a lot of offices
with your mom?
Copy !req
1227. Not so many.
Copy !req
1228. Like 11.
Copy !req
1229. I don't think anyone
would have stealed the bags, Daddy.
Copy !req
1230. I need somebody today.
Copy !req
1231. If I don't respond by tomorrow,
she said I could lose custody.
Copy !req
1232. I didn't know who else to call.
There's gotta be someone she didn't meet.
Copy !req
1233. I have a name for you.
Copy !req
1234. Bert Spitz.
Copy !req
1235. He was the entertainment lawyer
at Roberto's agency.
Copy !req
1236. Great.
Copy !req
1237. But then he kind of got pushed
into retirement a few years ago,
Copy !req
1238. and he went into family law.
Copy !req
1239. - I called him.
- Thank you, G-ma.
Copy !req
1240. - And he can see you today at three.
- Aw, shit.
Copy !req
1241. We never had this conversation,
Charlie-bird.
Copy !req
1242. - You got it. I love you.
- Dad!
Copy !req
1243. - I need a new burger.
- Why?
Copy !req
1244. Because you made us carry your bags
into the restaurant, I dropped it.
Copy !req
1245. That's fine. I'll give you mine.
Get in the car.
Copy !req
1246. Why did you bring me today
if you couldn't hang out with me?
Copy !req
1247. Because I've been away and wanna see you.
Copy !req
1248. Jamie Tuber has a little sister
Copy !req
1249. named Lily Tuber.
Copy !req
1250. - Yeah.
- And Lily Tuber is really bossy.
Copy !req
1251. Getting divorced with a kid can be
one of the hardest things you'll ever do.
Copy !req
1252. It's like a death without a body.
Copy !req
1253. I know personally.
I've been there four different times.
Copy !req
1254. You've been divorced four times?
Copy !req
1255. Married four times.
Copy !req
1256. Three divorces.
Copy !req
1257. This last one will stick, God willing.
Copy !req
1258. That's why I graduated into family law,
Copy !req
1259. to help people survive this painful time.
Copy !req
1260. Here's how I see it.
Copy !req
1261. If we get bogged down in "who did this"
and "who did that,"
Copy !req
1262. and "I don't want to pay the two dollars,"
Copy !req
1263. it'll just cost you more
in money and time and...
Copy !req
1264. emotional stress,
Copy !req
1265. and you'll probably end up
with the same result anyway.
Copy !req
1266. Right.
Copy !req
1267. I mean, I agree with that philosophy.
She does too, I'm sure.
Copy !req
1268. And I always go with the truth,
no matter where that takes us.
Copy !req
1269. Most people in my business
make up the truth
Copy !req
1270. so they can get where they need to go.
Copy !req
1271. You're just transactions to them.
Copy !req
1272. I like to think of you as people.
Copy !req
1273. Oh, okay, good.
Copy !req
1274. And not just you, her too.
Copy !req
1275. Yes.
Copy !req
1276. You know, this can be
a really ugly process.
Copy !req
1277. But I also believe
it doesn't have to be terrible.
Copy !req
1278. I'm glad to hear you say that.
Copy !req
1279. I'd love to keep expenses down
as much as possible.
Copy !req
1280. Of course you do.
Copy !req
1281. I charge 450 an hour
and I need a $10,000 retainer to start.
Copy !req
1282. I'll see if I can get an advance
on the Broadway transfer.
Copy !req
1283. And keep in mind
you'll have to pay for her lawyer.
Copy !req
1284. Oh. I didn't—
Copy !req
1285. - What?
- Well, at least part of her.
Copy !req
1286. It doesn't make sense, does it?
Copy !req
1287. I mean, you're doing this
because you love your kid.
Copy !req
1288. And in doing so, you're draining money
from your kid's education.
Copy !req
1289. - It seems ridiculous.
- Oh, it is.
Copy !req
1290. It is, boy.
Copy !req
1291. We'll have to respond right away.
Copy !req
1292. Your son goes to school out here?
Copy !req
1293. Yeah, temporarily, we agreed.
Copy !req
1294. Her pilot went to series
and I wanted to accommodate her.
Copy !req
1295. She's often felt we do things on my terms.
Copy !req
1296. Be a better husband in divorce, huh?
Copy !req
1297. I guess something like that,
but we live in New York.
Copy !req
1298. Well, with your kid
going to school out here,
Copy !req
1299. the court may see it differently.
Copy !req
1300. Will we go to court?
Copy !req
1301. No, we don't wanna go to court.
Copy !req
1302. Courts in California are a disaster.
That's just how we have to think about it.
Copy !req
1303. I'm not sure these are my glasses.
Copy !req
1304. Where are you living while you're here?
Copy !req
1305. In a hotel right now.
Copy !req
1306. No, a hotel doesn't look good.
Copy !req
1307. - To who?
- The court.
Copy !req
1308. - You said we weren't going to go to court.
- No, of course.
Copy !req
1309. We have to prepare to go to court,
hoping we don't go to court.
Copy !req
1310. Okay.
Copy !req
1311. You should get a place in LA.
Copy !req
1312. And get a place near her.
It looks better for custody reasons.
Copy !req
1313. She's in West Hollywood.
That'll be expensive.
Copy !req
1314. I guess I could rent
our New York apartment.
Copy !req
1315. Don't rent it.
Copy !req
1316. You have to continue to prove
New York residence.
Copy !req
1317. And, of course, you have a place in LA.
Copy !req
1318. It's hard to show you all live
in New York, isn't it?
Copy !req
1319. So...
Copy !req
1320. what do I do?
Copy !req
1321. I recommend you spend as much time
as you can with your son.
Copy !req
1322. Many people fight for that time,
Copy !req
1323. then they don't even use it.
Copy !req
1324. They just wanna win.
Copy !req
1325. This shouldn't be that complicated, right?
Copy !req
1326. I mean, we're a New York family.
Copy !req
1327. I think it's all
pretty straightforward. Right?
Copy !req
1328. I hope so, yes.
Copy !req
1329. I see no reason...
Copy !req
1330. you both love your child,
Copy !req
1331. you respect each other,
Copy !req
1332. why this shouldn't be
relatively pain-free.
Copy !req
1333. - Right.
- I think you have my glasses.
Copy !req
1334. That makes sense.
Copy !req
1335. What have you been doing?
Copy !req
1336. Reading this magazine.
Copy !req
1337. You were reading California Lawyer?
Copy !req
1338. Yeah.
Copy !req
1339. Okay, I'm almost done.
Copy !req
1340. I wouldn't expect too much from that cat.
Copy !req
1341. What kind of pet do you want?
Copy !req
1342. I don't know...
Copy !req
1343. I want you to know
that eventually this will all be over,
Copy !req
1344. and whatever we win or lose...
Copy !req
1345. it'll be the two of you
having to figure this out together.
Copy !req
1346. Thank you.
Copy !req
1347. Your the first person in this process
who's spoken to me like a human.
Copy !req
1348. You remind me of myself
on my second marriage.
Copy !req
1349. Come! Oh!
Copy !req
1350. You have fun with Daddy?
Copy !req
1351. We drove around to offices.
Copy !req
1352. Oh. Do you wanna see your ninja costume?
Copy !req
1353. It's on G-ma's bed.
Copy !req
1354. - Yeah!
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1355. You know, I had Donna build him
this whole Frankenstein thing
Copy !req
1356. with plugs and—
Copy !req
1357. Yeah, well, the cousins are ninjas,
so he wanted to do that—
Copy !req
1358. He and I had decided together.
Copy !req
1359. Oh, well, I can't make him
be Frankenstein.
Copy !req
1360. I'm not asking you to,
but maybe you can help me out a little.
Copy !req
1361. I'll leave the Frankenstein here, maybe
you can nudge him in that direction.
Copy !req
1362. I'll try.
Copy !req
1363. What's the...
Copy !req
1364. Did you dye your hair again?
Is that for your show?
Copy !req
1365. No, this is me. It was this way
when I saw you before.
Copy !req
1366. I know, but I didn't say anything then.
Copy !req
1367. You don't like it?
Copy !req
1368. No, I guess it's fine.
Is it shorter? I prefer longer but...
Copy !req
1369. Sorry, it's just absurd.
Copy !req
1370. Is everything okay?
Copy !req
1371. Yeah. Why?
Copy !req
1372. You seem, I don't know,
like something is—
Copy !req
1373. Everything's fine.
Copy !req
1374. Okay, I'm gonna check in at the hotel,
Copy !req
1375. but I should be able
to get to you guys by 5:00, 5:30—
Copy !req
1376. We're going to Cassie's
in Pasadena,
Copy !req
1377. and trick-or-treating with the cousins.
Copy !req
1378. - Cassie lives in Pasadena now?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1379. - She and Sam moved there a couple months—
- I don't really know Pasadena.
Copy !req
1380. - I'll figure it out. What's the address?
- My mom is looking forward to it.
Copy !req
1381. - I'll text Sam.
- Cassie and Sam are mad.
Copy !req
1382. - Mad at who?
- You.
Copy !req
1383. - Cassie and Sam?
- You can understand that.
Copy !req
1384. So I think we should probably
do separate Halloweens.
Copy !req
1385. But if you're okay with it,
then shouldn't they be okay with it?
Copy !req
1386. - Let's do it this way this time.
- Do you not want me there?
Copy !req
1387. I'm fine with it.
Copy !req
1388. - Okay.
- It'll be nice for him.
Copy !req
1389. He'll have two Halloweens.
Copy !req
1390. What am I gonna do with him for second
Halloween? Walk around Sunset Boulevard?
Copy !req
1391. Maybe the hotel has something.
Copy !req
1392. Or you can drive
to a different neighborhood.
Copy !req
1393. Sun sets forever.
Copy !req
1394. There shall never be another dawn.
Copy !req
1395. No!
Copy !req
1396. Lady...
Copy !req
1397. I require the solace of the shadows
Copy !req
1398. and the dark...
Copy !req
1399. Okay, ready for Halloween?
Copy !req
1400. - Hi.
- Wow, elaborate.
Copy !req
1401. Don't forget to wear your jacket.
It's getting colder.
Copy !req
1402. - This is a nice house.
- Ready to go back out?
Copy !req
1403. - He has to pee.
- No, I don't.
Copy !req
1404. He does.
Copy !req
1405. Some of his men are in here
and also Bear-Bear.
Copy !req
1406. You can keep that Bear-Bear.
I got another one.
Copy !req
1407. Does he know
that there are two Bear-Bears?
Copy !req
1408. - It was his idea.
- David Bowie, right? Station to Station?
Copy !req
1409. Let's Dance.
Copy !req
1410. Henry, have a great Halloween
with Daddy, okay?
Copy !req
1411. Have fun.
Copy !req
1412. Go pee and then we're going back out.
Copy !req
1413. I'm too tired.
Copy !req
1414. Go pee and then we're gonna go drive
to Halloween.
Copy !req
1415. This block looks promising.
Copy !req
1416. I wish Halloween was over.
Copy !req
1417. Well, it isn't.
Copy !req
1418. If we were in New York,
we could be walking.
Copy !req
1419. But I like how we're sitting right now.
Copy !req
1420. I like to sit.
Copy !req
1421. That's true, Los Angeles
does have sitting going for it.
Copy !req
1422. I think that's why
I like Los Angeles better.
Copy !req
1423. Because you get to sit?
Copy !req
1424. And because I like my friends here better.
Copy !req
1425. That's not true.
Copy !req
1426. What about Horatio and Poppy?
Copy !req
1427. Horatio doesn't like me anymore.
Copy !req
1428. And I don't like Poppy.
Copy !req
1429. Here I have Axel.
Copy !req
1430. Axel's hilarious.
I think you'd like him, Dad.
Copy !req
1431. And my family's here.
Copy !req
1432. Besides you.
Copy !req
1433. Everyone's asleep.
Copy !req
1434. I need to pee!
Copy !req
1435. Who gave you a lighter?
Copy !req
1436. Lift the seat.
Copy !req
1437. Gonna have to go back to New York
on Monday.
Copy !req
1438. Did you flush?
Copy !req
1439. Wash your hands.
Copy !req
1440. Will you play with me?
Copy !req
1441. I'm tired, honey.
Copy !req
1442. Did you hear me?
I have to go back to New York.
Copy !req
1443. Ah, watch out! I'm falling!
Copy !req
1444. You didn't catch me.
Copy !req
1445. Okay?
Copy !req
1446. Why aren't you here more?
Copy !req
1447. I have to work.
Copy !req
1448. You know my play is opening on Broadway.
Copy !req
1449. Is it because you don't wanna
be around Mom?
Copy !req
1450. No.
Copy !req
1451. You know, like we talked about,
Copy !req
1452. we both decided not to be together
no matter where we are,
Copy !req
1453. but we both wanna be with you.
Copy !req
1454. But you're not near me
if you're in New York.
Copy !req
1455. Well, we also live in New York.
Copy !req
1456. Yeah, but I go to school here.
Copy !req
1457. Just for right now.
Copy !req
1458. Like that time we were in Copenhagen
for my play.
Copy !req
1459. Remember all those kids in buckets?
Copy !req
1460. I like my school here, and Mom says
we could stay here if we want.
Copy !req
1461. What do you mean?
Copy !req
1462. She said that?
Copy !req
1463. Yeah.
Copy !req
1464. - Hello?
- Are you moving out here?
Copy !req
1465. - Did you find a lawyer?
- Yes.
Copy !req
1466. Henry says you're moving here.
Copy !req
1467. Have your lawyer call Nora.
Copy !req
1468. I wanna talk about it as us.
Copy !req
1469. Who the fuck is us?
Copy !req
1470. Let's just get in a room, you and me.
Copy !req
1471. That's what we always said we'd do.
Copy !req
1472. - My lawyers wouldn't let me sign anything.
- It's not up to them. It's our divorce.
Copy !req
1473. They say I could later sue them
for malpractice.
Copy !req
1474. What am I walking into?
Copy !req
1475. What are you walking into?
Copy !req
1476. Yes, what the fuck is going on?
Copy !req
1477. I read your fucking emails, Charlie!
I read them all.
Copy !req
1478. - When?
- I don't know, recently.
Copy !req
1479. - Shit.
- You're a fucking liar.
Copy !req
1480. - You fucked Mary Ann!
- It was after I was sleeping on the couch.
Copy !req
1481. It was bullshit about working on us.
Copy !req
1482. You know what? I have been working.
Copy !req
1483. I've been doing the work alone.
Copy !req
1484. How did you read my emails?
Copy !req
1485. I hacked into your account, you dumb fuck!
Copy !req
1486. I think that's illegal!
Copy !req
1487. Don't give me this shit
about being surprised about LA.
Copy !req
1488. Surprise! I have my own opinions.
Copy !req
1489. How do you even know
how to do something like that?
Copy !req
1490. I want things that aren't what you want,
Copy !req
1491. because, surprise,
you were fucking another lady.
Copy !req
1492. It was one time! I think you're conflating
two different things.
Copy !req
1493. Mary Ann has nothing to do with LA.
Copy !req
1494. I am conflating, motherfucker!
Copy !req
1495. You watch me conflate!
Copy !req
1496. Did you just stamp your foot?
Copy !req
1497. I don't think I've ever done that before.
I'm just so angry.
Copy !req
1498. You look like you needed one.
Copy !req
1499. Yes, I do, thanks.
Copy !req
1500. You know, the Japanese are making
really interesting tequila right now.
Copy !req
1501. That's exciting, I guess.
Copy !req
1502. What are you so angry about?
Copy !req
1503. Fucking ex-husband.
Copy !req
1504. I spent all this time feeling guilty,
and he's so self-absorbed.
Copy !req
1505. It's pointless.
Copy !req
1506. It's a game I'm playing with myself.
Copy !req
1507. Oh, hey, Pablo. We met at—
Copy !req
1508. - Oh, you held the bounce board.
- The flirty grip.
Copy !req
1509. - Here's what I want you to only do, okay?
- What?
Copy !req
1510. I want you to finger me.
Copy !req
1511. - What?
- Just finger me.
Copy !req
1512. - Okay.
- That's all we'll do, just fingering.
Copy !req
1513. Okay?
Copy !req
1514. I'm changing my whole fucking life.
Copy !req
1515. Nicole and Charlie's son, Henry,
was born here in Los Angeles.
Copy !req
1516. He currently attends Laurel Elementary
in Laurel Canyon,
Copy !req
1517. and Nicole works in Hollywood
Copy !req
1518. while also maintaining a full schedule
as a mother
Copy !req
1519. with classes of swim, art,
Copy !req
1520. gym, and music, as well as play groups.
Copy !req
1521. Nicole is Henry's
primary custodial parent,
Copy !req
1522. and to the extent that Charlie would like
to exercise his custodial time,
Copy !req
1523. he should be making efforts
to visit Henry here in California.
Copy !req
1524. Nora, you seem to be ignoring the fact
Copy !req
1525. that they lived in New York for ten years.
Copy !req
1526. My client worked in New York
for several years, that's true.
Copy !req
1527. But Nicole was born and bred
right here in LA.
Copy !req
1528. She and Charlie would come here
most holidays and summers
Copy !req
1529. to spend time with her family,
Copy !req
1530. who all live in LA.
Copy !req
1531. She and Charlie were married in LA.
Copy !req
1532. Would you like to see the photos?
Copy !req
1533. No, I don't need to see the photos.
Copy !req
1534. Although I'm sure
they both look beautiful.
Copy !req
1535. It's my client's expectation
Copy !req
1536. that after this TV show is completed,
Copy !req
1537. the parties will move back to New York
Copy !req
1538. where they currently keep an apartment.
Copy !req
1539. And it's my understanding
that Charlie promised Nicole
Copy !req
1540. that they would spend more time
in Los Angeles
Copy !req
1541. during the marriage.
Copy !req
1542. But because of his insistence
that his work keep them in New York,
Copy !req
1543. Nicole ended up staying there much longer
than she ever anticipated.
Copy !req
1544. In fact, a few years ago,
Copy !req
1545. Charlie was offered a residency
at the Geffen Playhouse
Copy !req
1546. that would have taken his work
and his family
Copy !req
1547. to Los Angeles for a year.
Copy !req
1548. And he...
Copy !req
1549. turned it down.
Copy !req
1550. Even though that was Nicole's desire.
Copy !req
1551. He wanted to maintain consistency
for his family and his child.
Copy !req
1552. Was this the same consistency
he wanted to maintain
Copy !req
1553. when they went to Copenhagen
for six months so he could direct a play?
Copy !req
1554. Now, while I understand that Charlie
lives in New York...
Copy !req
1555. and when it's convenient
to his work schedule,
Copy !req
1556. he flies out to see his son...
Copy !req
1557. He flies out here every chance he gets
at great expense.
Copy !req
1558. I don't see any reason you can't
be out here full-time.
Copy !req
1559. He makes his living in New York.
Copy !req
1560. - Sorry, do we want to contemplate lunch?
- Good idea.
Copy !req
1561. I'll order now so it'll comes
when we're hungry.
Copy !req
1562. Yeah.
Copy !req
1563. Everyone good with Manny's?
Copy !req
1564. I'd love Manny's.
Copy !req
1565. Have you had Manny's?
Copy !req
1566. You'll love it.
Copy !req
1567. Just really yummy sandwiches and salads.
Copy !req
1568. I'll have the BLT.
Copy !req
1569. Dad?
Copy !req
1570. Turkey.
Copy !req
1571. I'll have the BLT.
Copy !req
1572. - You'll have the kale?
- Kale salad.
Copy !req
1573. I don't know, sorry.
Copy !req
1574. Charlie will have...
Copy !req
1575. the Greek salad,
Copy !req
1576. but with lemon and olive oil
instead of the Greek dressing.
Copy !req
1577. Okay.
Copy !req
1578. - I'll have the Chinese chicken salad.
- Okay, sure.
Copy !req
1579. - Thank you.
- Yep.
Copy !req
1580. Congratulations, Charlie, on your grant.
Nicole told me.
Copy !req
1581. Oh, thank you.
Copy !req
1582. He's a genius.
Copy !req
1583. Well, I told Nicole,
Copy !req
1584. I loved your play.
Copy !req
1585. - Oh, thanks.
- Really.
Copy !req
1586. You are one smart cookie.
Copy !req
1587. Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
1588. I would just love to...
Copy !req
1589. crawl inside that brain.
Copy !req
1590. There was that one moment
when you smell the toast. Smell!
Copy !req
1591. It was literally my favorite thing
that I saw that year.
Copy !req
1592. - Thanks.
- Truly genius.
Copy !req
1593. Thank you.
Copy !req
1594. I was sorry to hear it closed on Broadway.
Copy !req
1595. They couldn't smell the toast.
Copy !req
1596. It was so emotional.
Copy !req
1597. It's very competitive, I imagine.
Copy !req
1598. Now, when Charlie is in Los Angeles,
Copy !req
1599. Nicole, of course,
agrees that it will be best for Henry
Copy !req
1600. that he see each parent equally.
Copy !req
1601. It's very nice out here, Charlie.
You should give it a chance.
Copy !req
1602. Yeah, and the space... can't beat it.
Copy !req
1603. I love it too.
Copy !req
1604. But all of our personal feelings
about the two cities aside,
Copy !req
1605. we don't share your assertion
that the couple is an LA-based family.
Copy !req
1606. It was very clearly their deal
Copy !req
1607. that they would go back to New York
after Nicole finished her show.
Copy !req
1608. I'm not aware of any deal.
Copy !req
1609. I didn't get it in writing.
Copy !req
1610. Charlie, is this like the deal
that you made
Copy !req
1611. that you Nicole would spend more time
in LA during your marriage?
Copy !req
1612. We didn't have a deal.
It was something we discussed.
Copy !req
1613. But...
Copy !req
1614. So it's a deal
when it's something you want
Copy !req
1615. and a discussion when Nicole wants it?
Copy !req
1616. Sidebar...
Copy !req
1617. Nora, do you have a spare office
where Charlie and I can sidebar?
Copy !req
1618. Sure.
Copy !req
1619. - Can you...
- I can show you.
Copy !req
1620. Come on.
Copy !req
1621. - Nora is a very good lawyer.
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
1622. - Tough, right?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1623. And you're in a bind because you've shown
you're willing to fly out here
Copy !req
1624. and rent an apartment to see your son.
Copy !req
1625. - You told me to do that.
- I know that.
Copy !req
1626. And I'm doing that because I want
to see my kid, not to set a precedent.
Copy !req
1627. Yes, but unfortunately,
you are setting a precedent.
Copy !req
1628. And a judge might look at it that way.
Copy !req
1629. What's the alternative? I stay in New York
and never come out here?
Copy !req
1630. No, because then it would look
to the court
Copy !req
1631. like you don't care about seeing your son.
Copy !req
1632. Court or no court?
Copy !req
1633. Stop saying "court"
and then "never court."
Copy !req
1634. Well, the way this is going,
we may have to go to court.
Copy !req
1635. Are you aware of how maddening you sound?
Copy !req
1636. I am.
Copy !req
1637. And I know it seems unfair.
Copy !req
1638. But imagine if you were...
Copy !req
1639. a poor mother whose husband abandons her
Copy !req
1640. and then refuses to pay anything.
Copy !req
1641. That's what the system
is trying to protect people from.
Copy !req
1642. Listen...
Copy !req
1643. if I were representing you—
Copy !req
1644. You are representing me.
Copy !req
1645. Right, no, of course. No.
Copy !req
1646. I don't see a judge
moving this child from California.
Copy !req
1647. I think we try and settle today.
Copy !req
1648. "Settle" meaning... what?
Copy !req
1649. - She gets LA.
- No, Bert, just—
Copy !req
1650. No.
Copy !req
1651. I mean, we have to win this.
Copy !req
1652. Remember,
the win is what's best for Henry.
Copy !req
1653. And if you guys go to court,
he's gonna get pulled into it.
Copy !req
1654. But if he stays here
and I stay in New York, that's just...
Copy !req
1655. then I won't...
Copy !req
1656. I'll never get
to really be his parent again.
Copy !req
1657. It'll be different.
Copy !req
1658. It won't exist.
Copy !req
1659. So maybe you move here.
Copy !req
1660. You heard what Amir said
about the space?
Copy !req
1661. Fuck the space, Bert! Fuck the space!
Copy !req
1662. I'll do whatever you want me to do,
but this is my advice.
Copy !req
1663. I've seen these things go on and on,
Copy !req
1664. and the burden of these battles
is immeasurable.
Copy !req
1665. I had a client get colon cancer and die
before he and his wife came to agreement.
Copy !req
1666. What about filing in New York?
Copy !req
1667. It's too late.
Copy !req
1668. And even if you did,
I don't think it would matter.
Copy !req
1669. They're being reasonable financially,
you know?
Copy !req
1670. You're lucky they didn't ask
for half your grant money.
Copy !req
1671. She wouldn't do that. She knows
I put all that money back in my theater.
Copy !req
1672. If this continues, she might.
Copy !req
1673. The actors and crew
all rely on that money.
Copy !req
1674. A court would never agree
with this, right?
Copy !req
1675. Whether they do or not,
it'll cost you half your grant money
Copy !req
1676. to go to court and prove it.
Copy !req
1677. I feel like a criminal.
Copy !req
1678. But you didn't commit any crime.
Copy !req
1679. It doesn't feel that way.
Copy !req
1680. If we give on LA right now,
Copy !req
1681. and then try to make
the best deal possible,
Copy !req
1682. I think we can get her
to give on other fronts.
Copy !req
1683. There are no other fronts!
Copy !req
1684. This is the thing!
Copy !req
1685. He needs to know that I fought for him!
Copy !req
1686. He'll know.
Copy !req
1687. I should never have let her
come out here with Henry.
Copy !req
1688. If it wasn't LA or New York,
it'd be something else.
Copy !req
1689. You'd be fighting about a house
or a school district or...
Copy !req
1690. You know what this is like?
Copy !req
1691. This is like that joke about the woman
at the hairdresser, she's going to Rome.
Copy !req
1692. - You know this?
- I don't.
Copy !req
1693. This woman is at her hairdresser
and she says,
Copy !req
1694. "I'm going to Rome on holiday."
Copy !req
1695. And he says, "Oh, really?
What airline are you taking?"
Copy !req
1696. She says, "Alitalia."
Copy !req
1697. He says, "Alitalia? Are you crazy?
Copy !req
1698. That's the worst—
That's terrible. Don't take that."
Copy !req
1699. He says, "Where are you gonna stay?"
Copy !req
1700. She says, "I'm gonna stay at the Hassler."
Copy !req
1701. "The Hassler? What, are you kidding?
Copy !req
1702. They're renovating the Hassler.
You'll hear hammering all night long.
Copy !req
1703. You won't sleep. What are you gonna see?"
Copy !req
1704. She says, "I think I'm gonna try
to go to the Vatican."
Copy !req
1705. "The Vatican?
You'll be standing in line all day long.
Copy !req
1706. You'll never see anything—"
Copy !req
1707. I'm sorry, Bert,
am I paying for this joke?
Copy !req
1708. Whatever happens here, it's temporary.
Copy !req
1709. He's growing up.
He's gonna have opinions on the subject.
Copy !req
1710. Time is on your side, Charlie.
Copy !req
1711. Maybe he'll do college on the East Coast.
Copy !req
1712. I have most of my coins,
like my quarters and dimes at Daddy's,
Copy !req
1713. but I'm keeping my dollars
and my one twenty at yours, okay?
Copy !req
1714. So that is one twenty
Copy !req
1715. plus 50, what is that? Goddamn it.
Copy !req
1716. What's "Goddamn it"?
Copy !req
1717. Did you guys lose power where you are?
Copy !req
1718. Dad?
Copy !req
1719. Did we lose power?
Copy !req
1720. No.
Copy !req
1721. There's rolling blackouts
in the hills and now...
Copy !req
1722. Oh, damn it. Now the gate won't close.
Copy !req
1723. Her gate won't close.
Copy !req
1724. Mom!
Copy !req
1725. - Can we go see my room?
- Yeah, of course.
Copy !req
1726. - Tried all the—
- I tried everything.
Copy !req
1727. Sorry I made you come out.
Copy !req
1728. It's fine.
Copy !req
1729. - I just—
- You don't want your gate open.
Copy !req
1730. Right.
Copy !req
1731. Should be a panel or something
on the side—
Copy !req
1732. Maybe this is something here.
Copy !req
1733. - It's a cute house.
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1734. I mean, from what I can see.
Copy !req
1735. Thanks.
Copy !req
1736. Getting shaggy.
Copy !req
1737. Yeah, I have to find a hair cutter.
Copy !req
1738. You want me to cut it?
Copy !req
1739. Okay.
Copy !req
1740. Close your eyes.
Copy !req
1741. He's out.
Copy !req
1742. Maybe he should stay here tonight.
Copy !req
1743. It's my night.
Copy !req
1744. Hey, come on. We're going.
Come on. Let's take a walk. Right?
Copy !req
1745. Yeah, we're gonna take a walk. Let—
We're taking a walk.
Copy !req
1746. We're mostly finished.
Copy !req
1747. Bert and I hammered out 90 percent
of the details,
Copy !req
1748. and there's a couple minor things hanging,
Copy !req
1749. but it should be easy.
Copy !req
1750. And then the judge
makes your divorce official.
Copy !req
1751. Oh. That's good.
Copy !req
1752. - Fuck me.
- What?
Copy !req
1753. Who's that?
Copy !req
1754. - Charlie, you shouldn't have done this.
- What do you mean? Where's Bert?
Copy !req
1755. This means that everything
we've agreed upon now is off the table.
Copy !req
1756. We've got LA, right?
Copy !req
1757. Not with Jay Marotta representing him.
Copy !req
1758. This is a street fight now.
Copy !req
1759. And I'm gonna have to ask for things
that we wouldn't normally ask for.
Copy !req
1760. This system rewards bad behavior.
Copy !req
1761. - Jay.
- Hey.
Copy !req
1762. Hi.
Copy !req
1763. I saw Miriam at Madeo the other night.
Copy !req
1764. - Yeah?
- Looking very handsome.
Copy !req
1765. You know, you should come
to our Stand Up To Cancer event.
Copy !req
1766. - John Legend's gonna play.
- Oh, I love him.
Copy !req
1767. Okay. It's gonna be
at the Beverly Hilton, I think.
Copy !req
1768. - Great.
- Okay?
Copy !req
1769. - She said you're spending time in Malibu.
- Oh, really?
Copy !req
1770. Me too. Haven't seen her
since that building was ICM.
Copy !req
1771. A little history.
Copy !req
1772. Ten years ago, Charlie takes a risk
Copy !req
1773. when he first hires Nicole as an actress
Copy !req
1774. in his play in New York City.
Copy !req
1775. He's a well-regarded
up-and-coming director
Copy !req
1776. of the avant-garde.
Copy !req
1777. And she's known
Copy !req
1778. as the girl in that college sex movie
who takes her top off.
Copy !req
1779. - My client will not be slut-shamed...
- Ten years on...
Copy !req
1780. - ... for an artistic choice.
- ... and many prestigious
Copy !req
1781. theater roles later...
Copy !req
1782. She becomes an actress
of great credibility.
Copy !req
1783. And it's because of that credibility,
Copy !req
1784. that she's offered the lead role
in a major television show.
Copy !req
1785. This new opportunity is thanks to Charlie.
Copy !req
1786. Your Honor, we shouldn't have
to pay support money at this point.
Copy !req
1787. In fact, Charlie is entitled
to half her TV money,
Copy !req
1788. present and future earnings of the show.
Copy !req
1789. Charlie's just received
the enormous sum of $650,000
Copy !req
1790. in the form of a MacArthur grant.
Copy !req
1791. - Of which he gets...
- This is for the theater work...
Copy !req
1792. - ... in $125,000 installments...
- ... he conducted during the marriage.
Copy !req
1793. over five years.
Copy !req
1794. - So by Jay's same logic...
- He uses the money...
Copy !req
1795. - ... that Nicole contributed to.
- ... to employ actors and crew members...
Copy !req
1796. - One at a time, please.
- ... and to pay debts that he's accumulated
Copy !req
1797. with his theater company
that stars his wife.
Copy !req
1798. - Bless you.
- Not only did she turn down a lucrative
Copy !req
1799. and successful career in movies
Copy !req
1800. to perform in his little theater,
Copy !req
1801. but she actually supplied Charlie
Copy !req
1802. with a loan early on to help out.
Copy !req
1803. - Which he paid back.
- She lent her name to the marquee,
Copy !req
1804. which was the principle reason
people came to the theater.
Copy !req
1805. That may have been true ten years ago.
Copy !req
1806. And in turn, she helped establish
Charlie's reputation.
Copy !req
1807. Now, over the next ten years,
Copy !req
1808. she was subsequently offered parts
in movies, TV shows,
Copy !req
1809. most of which she turned down
at Charlie's behest
Copy !req
1810. to be a mom and act in his plays.
Copy !req
1811. So while we are willing
to be flexible on support,
Copy !req
1812. we contend that half of Charlie's
grant money be split between the parties.
Copy !req
1813. I don't see how you can claim
that she gets half a grant
Copy !req
1814. dedicated to his genius.
Copy !req
1815. He became a genius
during the course of the marriage.
Copy !req
1816. Oh, come on, Nora.
Copy !req
1817. Charlie himself, upon hearing
that he received the prize,
Copy !req
1818. told Nicole that it belonged to her too.
Copy !req
1819. That's what people say
when they win awards.
Copy !req
1820. No, he was implying what was true.
Copy !req
1821. His genius was an intangible asset
built during the marriage.
Copy !req
1822. Nora, I like how you refer
to Charlie's theater
Copy !req
1823. as a ramshackle downtown dump
Copy !req
1824. when you're arguing custody,
Copy !req
1825. but when you want more money,
Copy !req
1826. he's a big, rich, genius
Broadway director.
Copy !req
1827. You can't have it both ways.
Copy !req
1828. Oh, really? Why not?
Copy !req
1829. And whether you think
it's fair or not, Jay,
Copy !req
1830. the first monetary installment
from the MacArthur grant
Copy !req
1831. was put into a joint
marital accountant, and thus...
Copy !req
1832. Fuck. You shouldn't have put
that money in a joint account.
Copy !req
1833. There's not gonna be anything left,
anyway. I'm using it all to divorce her.
Copy !req
1834. Nora, I have to say
that your account of this marriage
Copy !req
1835. takes place in an alternate reality.
Copy !req
1836. By suddenly moving to LA
Copy !req
1837. and insisting on an LA residence,
Copy !req
1838. Nicole is withholding Henry...
Copy !req
1839. - Counsel, please be seated.
- ... alienating him from his father,
Copy !req
1840. which has turned Charlie's world
upside down.
Copy !req
1841. - Counselor?
- It amounts to an ambush.
Copy !req
1842. "Witholding," Jay? Really? "Alienating"?
Copy !req
1843. Well, those are fighting words,
Copy !req
1844. and it's simply false and does nothing
to further this settlement.
Copy !req
1845. Your recap of the situation is outrageous.
Copy !req
1846. And although California is,
without doubt, a no-fault state,
Copy !req
1847. it bears mentioning
in the accurate recap of the situation
Copy !req
1848. that Charlie had had extramarital affairs.
Copy !req
1849. - An extramarital affair.
- Do you really want me to go there?
Copy !req
1850. - Yeah, let's go there.
- Okay.
Copy !req
1851. Nicole has admitted
to hacking Charlie's computer
Copy !req
1852. and reading his emails,
Copy !req
1853. which, if proven, is a felony.
Copy !req
1854. And, Nora,
I don't think you'll be too happy
Copy !req
1855. if I ask Nicole about her alcohol
consumption in the evenings.
Copy !req
1856. What?
Copy !req
1857. She confided in Charlie recently,
having just carried Henry to bed,
Copy !req
1858. that she was having trouble standing
while walking down the staircase.
Copy !req
1859. And from what I understand,
this is not an isolated event.
Copy !req
1860. So you let me know, Nora,
Copy !req
1861. - and will go there as needed.
- Charlie?
Copy !req
1862. Can I ask you,
Copy !req
1863. how do you expect
to have more time with Henry
Copy !req
1864. when you don't exercise the time
you already have?
Copy !req
1865. And exercise it responsibly?
Copy !req
1866. On a recent visit to Los Angeles,
Copy !req
1867. after failing to call, text,
Copy !req
1868. communicate in any way, shape, or form,
Copy !req
1869. Charlie finally arrived two hours late
to pick up Henry
Copy !req
1870. at Nicole's mother's house.
Copy !req
1871. At that point, the car seat,
Copy !req
1872. which he had assured Nicole
had been professionally installed,
Copy !req
1873. was clearly not even belted in.
Copy !req
1874. - It was sitting in the back seat.
- You have to buckle in the car seat.
Copy !req
1875. - It's the law.
- I know that.
Copy !req
1876. - I thought the rental place did it.
- No, they can't do it. It's a liability.
Copy !req
1877. I know that now.
Once we discovered that, we fixed it.
Copy !req
1878. Counsel?
Copy !req
1879. You can see my courtroom is full
Copy !req
1880. and there are people who don't have
the resources your clients have,
Copy !req
1881. and I'm fairly certain
you haven't exhausted, in good faith,
Copy !req
1882. the arguments in the case of this child.
Copy !req
1883. In the meantime,
we'll keep the status quo.
Copy !req
1884. This remains an LA family
for the time being.
Copy !req
1885. I took over this department recently,
Copy !req
1886. and I'm still becoming acquainted
with the cases.
Copy !req
1887. So I'm going to appoint
an expert evaluator
Copy !req
1888. who knows much more
about young children than I do.
Copy !req
1889. Once the evaluation is done,
Copy !req
1890. we'll modify the orders where necessary.
Copy !req
1891. Hey, where's Henry?
Copy !req
1892. He's with Cassie and her kids
at laser tag.
Copy !req
1893. You want something to drink?
Copy !req
1894. I have unfiltered tap water,
beer, and some juice boxes.
Copy !req
1895. I'll take a juice box.
Copy !req
1896. You don't have anything on the walls?
Copy !req
1897. I don't have anything
except Henry's art,
Copy !req
1898. which is being framed.
Copy !req
1899. I can give you some stuff,
Copy !req
1900. you know, till you get some things.
Copy !req
1901. How about that great picture
of Henry on the Staten Island ferry?
Copy !req
1902. Aren't you in that one?
Copy !req
1903. I guess I... I guess you can cut me out.
Copy !req
1904. I'm gonna have to leave a day early
to go to New York on the 22nd.
Copy !req
1905. So I was wondering
if I could take Henry that Friday.
Copy !req
1906. The 22nd, so that's the 21st?
Copy !req
1907. We have plans, actually.
Copy !req
1908. We're going to something at LACMA
with the cousins.
Copy !req
1909. But could you change it
so I could take him?
Copy !req
1910. It's just one night.
He's looking forward to it.
Copy !req
1911. - Really?
- It's my night, Charlie, we negotiated it.
Copy !req
1912. Okay, fine.
Copy !req
1913. But what?
Copy !req
1914. No, I'm just asking you to be flexible.
Copy !req
1915. I am flexible. You come in and out
and I adjust based on your schedule.
Copy !req
1916. - This one night we have tickets to—
- It's not only this one night, but fine.
Copy !req
1917. Henry's teacher wants to meet with us.
Copy !req
1918. You mean his LA teacher?
Copy !req
1919. Can you answer the email
so we could set a time?
Copy !req
1920. Yeah, I've been distracted.
Copy !req
1921. I understand.
Copy !req
1922. They just wanna rule out everything,
you know, with his reading.
Copy !req
1923. I just think he's a little over-anxious.
I think he wants it too much.
Copy !req
1924. They said he's off the charts in math.
Copy !req
1925. He quits too easily
when things aren't easy for him.
Copy !req
1926. You know, he's like us, he's stubborn.
Copy !req
1927. He's still a lousy Monopoly player
'cause he tries to save all his money.
Copy !req
1928. So...
Copy !req
1929. I thought we should talk.
Copy !req
1930. I feel like maybe things
have gone too far.
Copy !req
1931. I mean, my mom's taking out a loan
against the house to help me pay Nora.
Copy !req
1932. I thought I paid Nora.
Copy !req
1933. You pay 30 percent of Nora.
Copy !req
1934. Well, I'm going broke too,
if that's any help.
Copy !req
1935. I've just agreed
to direct two shitty plays,
Copy !req
1936. and we can forget putting anything away
for Henry's college.
Copy !req
1937. It's just that up until now, we've been
able to keep Henry somewhat removed,
Copy !req
1938. and this will change that.
Copy !req
1939. We have to protect him.
Copy !req
1940. I agree.
Copy !req
1941. Nora says that the evaluator
will come into our homes,
Copy !req
1942. they're gonna interview Henry
in addition to us,
Copy !req
1943. our friends, family, enemies,
Copy !req
1944. and then they'll observe us with him,
how we are as parents.
Copy !req
1945. - Sounds awful.
- I know.
Copy !req
1946. I feel like if anybody observed me on any
given day as a mom, I'd never get custody.
Copy !req
1947. That was a joke.
Copy !req
1948. - I know. I feel the same way.
- Right.
Copy !req
1949. So...
Copy !req
1950. Maybe we can figure
something out between us.
Copy !req
1951. You remember I said this to you
at the beginning?
Copy !req
1952. I know you did,
but these are different circumstances.
Copy !req
1953. I was anticipating these circumstances.
Copy !req
1954. Anyway, shall we try this?
Copy !req
1955. Okay.
Copy !req
1956. I don't know how to start.
Copy !req
1957. Do you understand why I wanna stay in LA?
Copy !req
1958. No.
Copy !req
1959. Well... that's not...
Copy !req
1960. Charlie, that's not a useful way
for us to start.
Copy !req
1961. I don't understand it.
Copy !req
1962. You don't remember promising
that we could do time here?
Copy !req
1963. We discussed things.
Copy !req
1964. We were married, we said things.
Copy !req
1965. We talked about moving to Europe.
Copy !req
1966. About getting a...
Copy !req
1967. sideboard or what do you call it?
Copy !req
1968. A credenza, to fill the empty space
behind the couch.
Copy !req
1969. We never did any of it.
Copy !req
1970. You turned down
the residency at the Geffen
Copy !req
1971. that would've brought us here for a year.
Copy !req
1972. It wasn't something I wanted.
Copy !req
1973. We had a great theater company
and a great life where we were.
Copy !req
1974. You call that a great life?
Copy !req
1975. You know what I mean.
Copy !req
1976. I don't mean we had a great marriage.
I mean life in Brooklyn.
Copy !req
1977. Professionally.
Copy !req
1978. I don't know. Honestly,
I never considered anything different.
Copy !req
1979. Well, that's the problem, isn't it?
Copy !req
1980. I mean, I was your wife.
You should've considered my happiness too.
Copy !req
1981. Come on, you were happy.
You've just decided you weren't now.
Copy !req
1982. Okay.
Copy !req
1983. Let's—
Copy !req
1984. My work is here now, my family is here.
Copy !req
1985. And I agreed to put Henry in school here
because your show went to series.
Copy !req
1986. I did that knowing that when you were done
shooting, he would come back to New York.
Copy !req
1987. Honey, we never said that.
Copy !req
1988. That may have been your assumption,
but we never said that.
Copy !req
1989. We did say it.
Copy !req
1990. When did we say it?
Copy !req
1991. I don't know when we said it,
but we said it.
Copy !req
1992. - We said it that time on the phone!
- Honey, let me finish. Sorry.
Copy !req
1993. I keeps saying that.
Copy !req
1994. I thought that if Henry was happy here,
Copy !req
1995. and my show continued,
that we might do LA for a while.
Copy !req
1996. I was not privy to that thought process.
Copy !req
1997. The only reason we didn't live here
is because you can't imagine desires
Copy !req
1998. other than your own,
unless they're forced on you.
Copy !req
1999. Okay, you wish you hadn't married me,
you wish you'd had a different life,
Copy !req
2000. but this is what happened.
Copy !req
2001. - So what do we do?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
2002. Nora says
there's no coming back from this.
Copy !req
2003. Fuck Nora!
Copy !req
2004. I hate fucking Nora telling me
I always lived in LA
Copy !req
2005. even though I never lived in LA.
Copy !req
2006. How could you have her
say those things about me?
Copy !req
2007. Jay said them about me too.
Copy !req
2008. You shouldn't have fired Bert.
Copy !req
2009. I needed my own asshole.
Copy !req
2010. Let's just both agree both of our lawyers
said shitty stuff about both of us.
Copy !req
2011. Nora was worse.
Copy !req
2012. Jay called me an alcoholic.
Copy !req
2013. You pulled the rug out from under me
and you're putting me through hell.
Copy !req
2014. You put me through hell
during our marriage.
Copy !req
2015. Oh, is that what that was, hell?
Copy !req
2016. Now you'll put Henry
through this horrible thing
Copy !req
2017. so you can yet again get what you want!
Copy !req
2018. It's not what I want. I mean,
it's what I want, but it's what was...
Copy !req
2019. was...
Copy !req
2020. what's best for him.
Copy !req
2021. Oh, well, I was wondering when you'd
get around to Henry
Copy !req
2022. and what he actually wants.
Copy !req
2023. Fuck off!
Copy !req
2024. No, you fuck off!
Copy !req
2025. If you'd listen to your son, or anyone,
Copy !req
2026. then he'd tell you
that he'd rather live here!
Copy !req
2027. Stop putting your feelings about me
onto Henry.
Copy !req
2028. He tells me he likes it better here.
Copy !req
2029. He tells you because he knows
it's what you wanna hear!
Copy !req
2030. He tells me you're on the phone all
the time. You don't even play with him.
Copy !req
2031. Because I'm going through a divorce in LA
and trying to direct a play in New York!
Copy !req
2032. Which closed because I wasn't there.
It was a huge opportunity...
Copy !req
2033. Fighting for something
you don't even want!
Copy !req
2034. You're being so much like your father.
Copy !req
2035. Do not compare me to my father!
Copy !req
2036. I didn't compare you to him.
I said you were acting like him.
Copy !req
2037. You're exactly like your mother.
Copy !req
2038. Everything you were complaining about her,
you're doing.
Copy !req
2039. You're suffocating Henry.
Copy !req
2040. First of all, I love my mother.
She was wonderful mother.
Copy !req
2041. I'm just repeating what you told me.
Copy !req
2042. Secondly, how dare you
compare my mothering to my mother!
Copy !req
2043. I may be like my father,
but I am not like my mother!
Copy !req
2044. You are! And you're like my father!
Copy !req
2045. You're also like my mother!
Copy !req
2046. You're all the bad things
about all of these people!
Copy !req
2047. But mostly your mother.
Copy !req
2048. When we'd lie in bed together,
sometimes I would look at you
Copy !req
2049. and see her and just feel so gross!
Copy !req
2050. - I felt repulsed when you touched me!
- You're a slob.
Copy !req
2051. - I made the beds, closed cabinets...
- The thought of having sex with you...
Copy !req
2052. makes me wanna peel my skin off.
Copy !req
2053. You'll never be happy, in LA or anywhere.
Copy !req
2054. You'll think you found
some better opposite guy than me,
Copy !req
2055. and in a few years,
you'll rebel against him
Copy !req
2056. because you need to have your voice,
but you don't want a voice.
Copy !req
2057. You just wanna fucking complain
about not having a voice!
Copy !req
2058. I think about being married to you,
and that woman is a stranger to me.
Copy !req
2059. - I mean, we had a child's marriage.
- You've regressed.
Copy !req
2060. You've gone back to your life
before you met me, it's pathetic.
Copy !req
2061. People used to tell me that you were
too selfish to be a great artist.
Copy !req
2062. And I used to defend you.
Copy !req
2063. They were absolutely right.
Copy !req
2064. All your best acting is behind you.
You're back to being a hack!
Copy !req
2065. You gaslighted me!
You're a fucking villain!
Copy !req
2066. You want to present yourself as a victim
because it's a good legal strategy?
Copy !req
2067. Fine, but you and I both know
Copy !req
2068. you chose this life!
Copy !req
2069. You wanted it until you didn't!
Copy !req
2070. You used me so you could get out of LA.
Copy !req
2071. I didn't use you.
Copy !req
2072. You did and then you blamed me for it!
Copy !req
2073. You always made me aware
of what I was doing wrong,
Copy !req
2074. how I was falling short!
Copy !req
2075. Life with you was joyless!
Copy !req
2076. What, so then you had to go
and fuck someone else?
Copy !req
2077. You shouldn't be upset that I fucked her!
Copy !req
2078. You should be upset
that I had a laugh with her!
Copy !req
2079. Do you love her?
Copy !req
2080. No.
Copy !req
2081. But she didn't hate me.
Copy !req
2082. You hated me.
Copy !req
2083. You hated me.
Copy !req
2084. You fucked somebody we worked with.
Copy !req
2085. You stopped having sex with me
in the last year.
Copy !req
2086. I never cheated on you.
Copy !req
2087. That was cheating on me!
Copy !req
2088. But there was so much I could have done.
Copy !req
2089. I was a director in my 20s
who came from nothing
Copy !req
2090. and was suddenly on the cover
of fucking Time Out New York!
Copy !req
2091. I was hot shit and I wanted
to fuck everybody and I didn't.
Copy !req
2092. And I loved you
and I didn't wanna lose you.
Copy !req
2093. But I'm in my 20s
and I didn't wanna lose that too,
Copy !req
2094. and I kinda did!
Copy !req
2095. And you wanted so much so fast.
Copy !req
2096. I didn't even wanna get married.
Copy !req
2097. I mean, fuck it!
Copy !req
2098. There's so much I didn't do.
Copy !req
2099. - Thanks for that!
- You're welcome!
Copy !req
2100. I can't believe
I have to know you forever!
Copy !req
2101. Oh, you're fucking insane!
Copy !req
2102. And you're fucking winning!
Copy !req
2103. Are you kidding me?
Copy !req
2104. I wanted to be married.
Copy !req
2105. I'd already lost!
Copy !req
2106. You didn't love me as much as I loved you!
Copy !req
2107. What does that have to do with LA?
Copy !req
2108. What?
Copy !req
2109. You're so merged
with your own selfishness,
Copy !req
2110. you don't even identify it
as selfishness anymore!
Copy !req
2111. You're such a dick!
Copy !req
2112. Every day I wake up
and I hope you're dead!
Copy !req
2113. Dead like... if I could guarantee
Henry would be okay,
Copy !req
2114. I'd hope you'd get an illness
Copy !req
2115. and then get hit by a car and die!
Copy !req
2116. Oh, God!
Copy !req
2117. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
2118. Me too.
Copy !req
2119. Okay, no, we can make this nice.
Copy !req
2120. I would take the smaller plants
and put them by the window.
Copy !req
2121. And do you have things
we can put on the walls?
Copy !req
2122. All right, that's it. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
2123. We miss you and it looks great, really.
Let us know how it goes, okay?
Copy !req
2124. All right. I'll see you guys on Monday.
Copy !req
2125. - Love you.
- All right, love you too. Bye.
Copy !req
2126. Why do we have so many plants
all of a sudden?
Copy !req
2127. We'll have to return some of that stuff,
so don't get used to it.
Copy !req
2128. I find plants kind of scary.
Copy !req
2129. These plants are good guys.
Copy !req
2130. Hey, come here.
Copy !req
2131. Yeah?
Copy !req
2132. Tomorrow, this woman is going to come
Copy !req
2133. and visit us...
Copy !req
2134. and be with us while we eat dinner.
Copy !req
2135. - Is it your girlfriend?
- No.
Copy !req
2136. - Is it Mommy's boyfriend?
- No. Why? Does Mommy have a boyfriend?
Copy !req
2137. I don't know. Does she?
Copy !req
2138. I don't know.
Copy !req
2139. I don't know.
Copy !req
2140. Why is someone watching us eat dinner?
Copy !req
2141. I know, it's weird.
Copy !req
2142. It's just something we have to do.
Copy !req
2143. Which has to do with...
Copy !req
2144. Mommy and me figuring out everything...
Copy !req
2145. and how we're gonna be.
Copy !req
2146. You know?
Copy !req
2147. Will you read to me?
Copy !req
2148. Sure. Grab your book.
Copy !req
2149. Do you use drugs or alcohol?
Copy !req
2150. I drink alcohol.
Copy !req
2151. How much alcohol do you drink?
Copy !req
2152. I don't know, glass of wine with dinner.
Copy !req
2153. Sometimes more.
Copy !req
2154. How much more?
Copy !req
2155. It's— Sometimes a...
Copy !req
2156. few...
Copy !req
2157. I... sometimes split a bottle of wine
with someone.
Copy !req
2158. - Okay, who do you split it with?
- I mean...
Copy !req
2159. if I'm having dinner with someone
and we order a bottle of wine.
Copy !req
2160. - Okay.
- You know, like at a restaurant.
Copy !req
2161. When you say, "Do you wanna go
by the glass or do we get a bottle?"
Copy !req
2162. You get a bottle?
Copy !req
2163. Well, sometimes.
Copy !req
2164. But... I mean,
sometimes I go by the glass.
Copy !req
2165. You know, it depends.
Copy !req
2166. Did you mean drugs ever?
I have done drugs.
Copy !req
2167. In college.
Copy !req
2168. - Anything since you've been—
- I don't do it regularly.
Copy !req
2169. Anything since you've been a mother?
Copy !req
2170. Pot a few times.
Copy !req
2171. Coke once at a party.
Henry wasn't with me.
Copy !req
2172. What would you say
are your strengths as a parent?
Copy !req
2173. I listen.
Copy !req
2174. I play.
Copy !req
2175. I put in the time. I...
Copy !req
2176. love...
Copy !req
2177. taking care of him...
Copy !req
2178. watching him grow.
Copy !req
2179. And sometimes...
Copy !req
2180. what they say about "it goes so fast"
is true, but...
Copy !req
2181. sometimes it's not.
Copy !req
2182. Sometimes it goes too slow, honestly.
Copy !req
2183. What are your weaknesses?
Copy !req
2184. I'm too precise.
Copy !req
2185. I care too much.
Copy !req
2186. Are those weaknesses?
Copy !req
2187. Maybe not.
Copy !req
2188. You know, he can be an asshole and...
Copy !req
2189. I can get really pissed off
and I'll call him on being an asshole—
Copy !req
2190. I'm gonna stop you there.
Copy !req
2191. When you do this for real,
don't ever say that.
Copy !req
2192. People don't accept mothers
who drink too much wine
Copy !req
2193. and yell at their child
and call him an asshole.
Copy !req
2194. I get it. I do it too.
Copy !req
2195. We can accept an imperfect dad.
Copy !req
2196. Let's face it, the idea of a good father
was only invented like 30 years ago.
Copy !req
2197. Before that,
fathers were expected to be silent
Copy !req
2198. and absent and unreliable and selfish,
Copy !req
2199. and can all say
we want them to be different.
Copy !req
2200. But on some basic level, we accept them.
Copy !req
2201. We love them for their fallibilities,
Copy !req
2202. but people absolutely don't accept
those same failings in mothers.
Copy !req
2203. We don't accept it structurally
and we don't accept it spiritually.
Copy !req
2204. Because the basis
of our Judeo-Christian whatever
Copy !req
2205. is Mary, Mother of Jesus,
Copy !req
2206. and she's perfect.
Copy !req
2207. She's a virgin who gives birth,
Copy !req
2208. unwaveringly supports her child
Copy !req
2209. and holds his dead body when he's gone.
Copy !req
2210. And the dad isn't there.
He didn't even do the fucking.
Copy !req
2211. God is in Heaven.
Copy !req
2212. God is the father
Copy !req
2213. and God didn't show up.
Copy !req
2214. So you have to be perfect and Charlie
can be a fuck up and it doesn't matter.
Copy !req
2215. You will always be held
to a different higher standard.
Copy !req
2216. And it's fucked up,
but that is the way it is.
Copy !req
2217. I think I rang the wrong bell. Nancy Katz.
Copy !req
2218. Hi. I'm Charlie Barber.
Copy !req
2219. Henry's just playing in his room.
Copy !req
2220. Nancy, can I get you anything?
Copy !req
2221. I'm easy. A glass of water?
Copy !req
2222. It's a new apartment.
Copy !req
2223. Shall we go in here?
Copy !req
2224. Sure.
Copy !req
2225. What's a day like for the two of you here?
Copy !req
2226. Well, if he has school,
I take him there, of course,
Copy !req
2227. and pick him up, assuming I can do both.
Copy !req
2228. What prevents you from picking him up?
Copy !req
2229. You know, work.
Copy !req
2230. I'm preparing a play
I'm directing in a few months.
Copy !req
2231. Oh, what is that?
Copy !req
2232. Kasimir and Karoline by Ödön von Horváth.
Copy !req
2233. We're doing it at the Barrow in New York.
Copy !req
2234. So you have to be away?
Copy !req
2235. Yes, recently, since Nicole's
been working on the show in LA,
Copy !req
2236. I come back and forth a lot.
Copy !req
2237. - That sounds difficult.
- It is.
Copy !req
2238. And expensive.
Copy !req
2239. I'll try to take him
with me some of the time,
Copy !req
2240. but Nicole doesn't like for him
to fly so much.
Copy !req
2241. Well, that can be hard on the child,
all that recycled air.
Copy !req
2242. Well, he's sturdy.
Copy !req
2243. Some parents won't take their kids to
a restaurant because of these superbugs.
Copy !req
2244. I noticed on one visit to Los Angeles,
Copy !req
2245. you came on a Sunday
Copy !req
2246. and left on a Thursday.
Copy !req
2247. Why not stay for a weekend?
Copy !req
2248. that time I had tech
for Electra in New York.
Copy !req
2249. What's that?
Copy !req
2250. It was my Broadway debut.
Copy !req
2251. Oh, I don't know what "tech" is.
Copy !req
2252. It's the technical part of the production.
You figure out the lights.
Copy !req
2253. - And Monday's our day off in the theater.
- What's a weekend day like?
Copy !req
2254. Well, out here, he has basketball
on Saturday at 12:00.
Copy !req
2255. Eleven, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
2256. So we go there, and then afterwards...
Copy !req
2257. maybe we'll get lunch somewhere
and then if there's a movie to see...
Copy !req
2258. Does he like basketball?
Copy !req
2259. He does.
Copy !req
2260. His coach, Rick, says
he's a good dribbler, and I've seen that.
Copy !req
2261. - Uh-huh.
- Ron.
Copy !req
2262. Sorry, his coach's name is Ron.
Copy !req
2263. Rick's his dentist in New York.
Copy !req
2264. Well, you know our home home was...
is in New York.
Copy !req
2265. That's where we live.
Copy !req
2266. New York is a long way from here.
Copy !req
2267. Well, we like it because we can walk.
Copy !req
2268. You can walk here.
Copy !req
2269. Not really.
Copy !req
2270. And the space...
Copy !req
2271. Do you like your school?
Copy !req
2272. I love it.
Copy !req
2273. What's your favorite part about it?
Copy !req
2274. I don't know.
Copy !req
2275. Maybe gym.
Copy !req
2276. You like math.
Copy !req
2277. Not anymore.
Copy !req
2278. - Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Copy !req
2279. But you're getting really good at it.
Copy !req
2280. No.
Copy !req
2281. Well, you are, but...
Copy !req
2282. What do you
and your dad like to do together?
Copy !req
2283. When I'm at my dad's,
we sometimes watch a movie
Copy !req
2284. or build a Lego or something.
Copy !req
2285. My dad's a great Lego builder.
Copy !req
2286. And at your mom's?
Copy !req
2287. At home, I have most of my toys,
Copy !req
2288. and there's a pool
and I have a tree house and jungle gym.
Copy !req
2289. We have super secret treasure hunt,
Copy !req
2290. which is really fun.
Copy !req
2291. - Sweetheart?
- Army men ride in here and—
Copy !req
2292. Wanna help me set the table?
Copy !req
2293. Do I have to?
Copy !req
2294. - Just come in here and grab a plate.
- I'm playing.
Copy !req
2295. Henry?
Copy !req
2296. Okay.
Copy !req
2297. Fine.
Copy !req
2298. - Why are you being like this?
- What?
Copy !req
2299. If I ask you to help out, help out.
Copy !req
2300. - What is this?
- A special meal.
Copy !req
2301. What are the green things?
Copy !req
2302. There aren't green things
in a special meal.
Copy !req
2303. It's just the garnish.
Copy !req
2304. I'll take it off.
Copy !req
2305. I don't wanna eat anything it touched.
Copy !req
2306. - Doesn't change the taste of anything.
- I might wanna be a vegetarian.
Copy !req
2307. Mom's a vegetarian.
Copy !req
2308. Is she a vegetarian now?
Copy !req
2309. - Yeah.
- Well, then you should like garnish.
Copy !req
2310. It's all garnish, vegetarianism.
Copy !req
2311. I'm done with my water.
Copy !req
2312. Sure I can't get you anything?
Copy !req
2313. No, I'm fine, thank you.
Copy !req
2314. Do the thing with the knife.
Copy !req
2315. No, I'm not...
Copy !req
2316. No.
Copy !req
2317. Come on.
Copy !req
2318. It's not a dinner thing.
Copy !req
2319. It's not an any time thing.
Copy !req
2320. What's the thing with the knife?
Copy !req
2321. It's hilarious.
Copy !req
2322. No, it's dumb.
I have a small knife on my keychain.
Copy !req
2323. Which is only for adults.
Copy !req
2324. I do a thing with it sometimes.
Copy !req
2325. You said I could get a knife.
Copy !req
2326. A jackknife, yeah, when you're older.
Copy !req
2327. Like ten.
Copy !req
2328. No, like 20.
Copy !req
2329. Yeah.
Copy !req
2330. Dime, rime, lime, pime, sime...
Copy !req
2331. Honey, stop guessing.
You're so close. Stay with it.
Copy !req
2332. Well, I don't wanna do it.
Copy !req
2333. What's the first letter?
Copy !req
2334. I don't wanna do it.
Can I do the iPad?
Copy !req
2335. No, look. What's the first letter?
Copy !req
2336. - I don't want to.
- It's a T. What sound does T make?
Copy !req
2337. - Tuh.
- Right. Then just do the rest of it.
Copy !req
2338. Dime.
Copy !req
2339. No.
Copy !req
2340. You have "tuh" and "ime." What is that?
Copy !req
2341. Time.
Copy !req
2342. It's "time."
Copy !req
2343. It's "time."
Copy !req
2344. You'll see, honey.
One day it's just gonna click
Copy !req
2345. and you'll be able to read everything.
Copy !req
2346. I need a break.
Copy !req
2347. Can I go play in my room?
Copy !req
2348. Sure.
Copy !req
2349. Yeah?
Copy !req
2350. Do you ever observe married people?
Copy !req
2351. No. Why would I?
Copy !req
2352. - I was kidding.
- Oh.
Copy !req
2353. The knife thing is...
Copy !req
2354. I carry this knife on my keychain,
Copy !req
2355. which his mother got me actually.
Copy !req
2356. And I do this thing for his mom
where I pretend to cut myself,
Copy !req
2357. but I retract the blade,
but I don't do it with him.
Copy !req
2358. - That's fine.
- Are you okay?
Copy !req
2359. Yeah, I must not have retracted
the blade all the way.
Copy !req
2360. - Do you need—
- Yeah.
Copy !req
2361. Yeah, no, it's fine.
Copy !req
2362. What else can I tell you?
Copy !req
2363. I think I have enough.
Copy !req
2364. You have enough?
Copy !req
2365. - Are you sure you're okay?
- Totally. I'm fine.
Copy !req
2366. Well, I'll leave you guys for tonight.
Copy !req
2367. Oh, okay.
Copy !req
2368. I'll be in touch
if I have further questions.
Copy !req
2369. Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
2370. Oh, thanks.
Copy !req
2371. Thanks. Thank you for the water.
Copy !req
2372. - Oh, yeah, sure.
- Are you sure you're okay?
Copy !req
2373. - Yeah.
- Okay.
Copy !req
2374. - Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Copy !req
2375. Oh. Sorry.
Copy !req
2376. All right, let...
Copy !req
2377. I think you turn the...
Copy !req
2378. Sorry.
Copy !req
2379. Okay.
Copy !req
2380. Dad, are you okay?
Copy !req
2381. Yeah, I'm just tired.
Copy !req
2382. Dad, did she like us?
Copy !req
2383. Yeah, she thought we were great.
Copy !req
2384. - Come on.
- Guys, slow down.
Copy !req
2385. So...
Copy !req
2386. because Charlie dropped his claim
to New York,
Copy !req
2387. we're mostly done.
Copy !req
2388. Jay's lost interest,
Ted, his associate's, doing the paperwork.
Copy !req
2389. And we're not taking any money, right?
Copy !req
2390. We withdrew our claim for the MacArthur,
Copy !req
2391. which I think
we could have gotten, by the way,
Copy !req
2392. and they're not asking
for any of the show.
Copy !req
2393. Thank you for everything, Nora.
Copy !req
2394. You're welcome, doll.
Copy !req
2395. To your new home in LA.
Copy !req
2396. And whenever Charlie is in LA,
Copy !req
2397. I got the custody breakdown to be 55/45.
Copy !req
2398. So you'll have Henry an extra day
every two weeks.
Copy !req
2399. I thought we made an equal.
Copy !req
2400. I tweaked it at the last minute.
Copy !req
2401. I just didn't want him
to be able to say he got 50/50,
Copy !req
2402. bragging to his friends.
Copy !req
2403. - But I don't wanna do that.
- Take it.
Copy !req
2404. You won.
Copy !req
2405. Hi. You look like a guy
who really cares about animals.
Copy !req
2406. Nope.
Copy !req
2407. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
2408. - Hey.
- Hi.
Copy !req
2409. You hear some guy screaming?
Copy !req
2410. The couch was technically hers,
pre-marriage.
Copy !req
2411. But, I mean, it was our couch.
Copy !req
2412. It's not like
I was gonna buy another couch.
Copy !req
2413. But then when it comes time to split,
it's suddenly her couch.
Copy !req
2414. And I have no couch and...
Copy !req
2415. I'm sitting on the floor
is the short version.
Copy !req
2416. I'm sorry.
This is all so self-pitying and boring.
Copy !req
2417. No, come on.
Copy !req
2418. No, I'm so stupid. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
2419. - Sounds really tough.
- No, it is sad.
Copy !req
2420. Hello?
Copy !req
2421. Hello?
Copy !req
2422. Hi, sorry, the door was open.
Copy !req
2423. Oh. Okay.
Copy !req
2424. Whoa! Gotcha!
Copy !req
2425. Charlie, oh!
Copy !req
2426. Was your flight okay?
Copy !req
2427. - Yeah.
- Carter.
Copy !req
2428. Charlie.
Copy !req
2429. Nicole's still at work.
Copy !req
2430. - Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
2431. Can I I get a hug?
Copy !req
2432. Hey, how'd it go?
Copy !req
2433. Good, yeah.
Copy !req
2434. And Donny's dead now.
I shot the scene where—
Copy !req
2435. - Henry's upstairs.
- She got an Emmy nomination.
Copy !req
2436. - She's a great actress.
- No, for directing.
Copy !req
2437. - Congratulations.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
2438. Now I know what you were
so obsessed with all the time.
Copy !req
2439. - We should get ready.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
2440. Oh, we're the Beatles.
Copy !req
2441. - Come on, Charlie.
- I didn't get a costume together.
Copy !req
2442. - You could be George Martin.
- I don't need to be anyone.
Copy !req
2443. - You've gotta be something.
- A ghost. I'll get you a sheet.
Copy !req
2444. I have the album cover
if anyone needs to reference it.
Copy !req
2445. And we should leave soon.
Copy !req
2446. I'm saying that as much for me
as anyone else.
Copy !req
2447. - Am I John or George?
- Trick-or-treating starts at 5:00.
Copy !req
2448. You're George. Nicole is John.
Copy !req
2449. I wanted to tell you
I took a residency at UCLA.
Copy !req
2450. I'm gonna direct two plays
and rep at REDCAT.
Copy !req
2451. So I'll be here for a while.
Copy !req
2452. That's great.
Copy !req
2453. Are you okay?
Copy !req
2454. Yeah.
Copy !req
2455. It's only good.
Copy !req
2456. Nicole?
Copy !req
2457. Can you help me with my zipper?
Copy !req
2458. "Charlie is incr..." something.
Copy !req
2459. "... neat
Copy !req
2460. and I rely on him
Copy !req
2461. to keep things in order.
Copy !req
2462. He is energy con..."
Copy !req
2463. - I don't know what this word is.
- You're getting so good at reading.
Copy !req
2464. What is that?
Copy !req
2465. "He doesn't look in the mirror too often.
Copy !req
2466. He cries easily
Copy !req
2467. in movies.
Copy !req
2468. He is very self-suf..."
Copy !req
2469. Self-sufficient.
Copy !req
2470. "He can darn a sock..."
Copy !req
2471. That means sew, like a hole.
Copy !req
2472. "... and cook himself dinner
Copy !req
2473. and ur..."
Copy !req
2474. Break it into two parts.
Copy !req
2475. "... ur on."
Copy !req
2476. Not "ur" but "ire."
Copy !req
2477. Ire. On.
Copy !req
2478. Iron.
Copy !req
2479. "... a shirt.
Copy !req
2480. He rarely gets defeated
Copy !req
2481. which I fell...
Copy !req
2482. feel like I always do.
Copy !req
2483. Charlie takes all of my moods steadily.
Copy !req
2484. He doesn't give in to them
Copy !req
2485. or make me feel bad about them.
Copy !req
2486. He's a great dresser
and never looks em..."
Copy !req
2487. - I don't know this one.
- Embarrassing.
Copy !req
2488. "... embarrassing,
Copy !req
2489. which is hard for a man."
Copy !req
2490. You read it now.
Copy !req
2491. "He's very competitive.
Copy !req
2492. He loves being a dad.
Copy !req
2493. He loves all the things
you're supposed to hate,
Copy !req
2494. like the tantrums,
Copy !req
2495. the waking up at night.
Copy !req
2496. It's almost annoying
how much he likes it,
Copy !req
2497. but then it's mostly nice.
Copy !req
2498. He disappears into his own world.
Copy !req
2499. He and Henry are alike that way.
Copy !req
2500. He can tell
Copy !req
2501. people they have food in their teeth
Copy !req
2502. or on their face in a way
that doesn't make them feel bad.
Copy !req
2503. Charlie is self-made.
Copy !req
2504. His parents, I only met them once,
Copy !req
2505. but he told me
there was a lot of alcohol...
Copy !req
2506. He moved to New York from Indiana
Copy !req
2507. with no safety net,
Copy !req
2508. and now he's more New Yorker
than any New Yorker.
Copy !req
2509. He's brilliant at creating family
out of whoever is around.
Copy !req
2510. With the theater company...
Copy !req
2511. he casts a spell...
Copy !req
2512. that made everyone feel included.
Copy !req
2513. No one, not even an intern,
was unimportant."
Copy !req
2514. What's an intern?
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2515. It's like a...
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2516. helper, but who isn't paid.
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2517. Why aren't they paid?
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2518. They're young, they're learning.
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2519. I don't know, maybe if they do a good job,
they get paid later.
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2520. Okay, keep going.
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2521. "He could remember all the inside jokes,
he's extremely organized and thorough,
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2522. he's very clear about what he wants,
unlike me who can't always tell.
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2523. I fell in love with him
two seconds after I saw him.
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2524. And I'll never stop loving him,
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2525. even though
it doesn't make sense anymore."
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2526. See you. Good to see you again.
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2527. Good seeing you too.
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2528. - Oh, Charlie!
- G-ma.
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2529. I'm so happy you came.
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2530. I'll email you that article.
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2531. - Yes, please do. Thank you.
- Yeah.
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2532. Take care.
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2533. We were gonna bring him to dinner,
but he's so wiped out.
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2534. You wanna take him?
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2535. - It's your night.
- I know.
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2536. - Yeah.
- Good.
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2537. - I'll drop him back in the morning.
- Yeah.
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2538. Text me when you're up.
We'll figure something out.
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2539. You're gonna go with your dad, okay?
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2540. - Okay.
- Yeah?
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2541. I love you.
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2542. I love you too.
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2543. Oh, hey.
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2544. Thanks.
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