1. Let's move out!Copy !req
2. Get in front
of that wall!Copy !req
3. Follow me!Copy !req
4. My arm!
I've been shot!Copy !req
5. Let me take
a look at that.Copy !req
6. Want me to show you
a little trick?Copy !req
7. Take your mind
off that arm?Copy !req
8. Give me your hand.Copy !req
9. You may feel
a little pressure.Copy !req
10. My finger! My finger!Copy !req
11. Works every time.Copy !req
12. You had better
give up, Señor.Copy !req
13. You cannot kill us all.Copy !req
14. Nope, but I can
clean your colon
out quickerCopy !req
15. than one of them
burritos with extra
guacamole sauce.Copy !req
16. Ooh.Copy !req
17. At ease, Payne.Copy !req
18. Relax.Copy !req
19. Do you know
why you're here?Copy !req
20. Sir, no, sir.Copy !req
21. The promotion board report
came out last week.Copy !req
22. This is the new
lieutenant colonel list.Copy !req
23. Your name
is not on it.Copy !req
24. You get two chances
to advance,Copy !req
25. then we gotta
show you the hatch.Copy !req
26. Base admin is cutting
your discharge orders
right now.Copy !req
27. General,Copy !req
28. are you trying to tell me,
in all this man's military,Copy !req
29. there is no room left
for a trained weapon
of destruction?Copy !req
30. The fighting
is no longer done on
the battlefields, Payne.Copy !req
31. Now all the blood is shed
in the halls of Congress.Copy !req
32. Warriors like us
are becoming dinosaurs.Copy !req
33. There's gotta be somebody
needs some killing.Copy !req
34. I'm sorry, Major.
There's no one left.Copy !req
35. You've killed 'em all.Copy !req
36. Good luck.Copy !req
37. It's been two whole weeks
since I killed me a man,Copy !req
38. and already I'm starting
to get the itch.Copy !req
39. Problem is,
I ain't got nothing
to scratch.Copy !req
40. God, I'm hungry.Copy !req
41. Hungry for action.Copy !req
42. Hungry for blood.Copy !req
43. Hell,Copy !req
44. I'm just plain old hungry.Copy !req
45. Feel I'm getting weakerCopy !req
46. while Charlie's
growing stronger
in the jungle.Copy !req
47. I can't lose my edge.Copy !req
48. I gotta keep my strength up.Copy !req
49. I gotta maintain discipline.Copy !req
50. Because the hard reality was,Copy !req
51. I gotta get a job.Copy !req
52. And what better placeCopy !req
53. than somewhere
that would allow me
to employ my skillsCopy !req
54. as a trained killer.Copy !req
55. Mr. Payne?Copy !req
56. This is a dramatization
of a domestic
violence dispute.Copy !req
57. You arrive
on the scene
to find a woman,Copy !req
58. played by
Miss Goodwin . . .Copy !req
59. Hello, ma'am.Copy !req
60. . . . claiming to have
been assaulted
by her husband,Copy !req
61. played by
Mr. Shipman.Copy !req
62. Happy to meet you.Copy !req
63. Same here.Copy !req
64. Your objective is
to effectively
neutralize the situation.Copy !req
65. Neutralize.Copy !req
66. Begin.Copy !req
67. He hit me!Copy !req
68. You like
to beat women?Copy !req
69. Officer . . .Copy !req
70. You'll never hit her again.Copy !req
71. Hear me? Hear me? Huh?
I can't . . .Copy !req
72. Payne, what happened?
You've only
been out one week.Copy !req
73. It's civilian life, sir.
I had a minor setback.Copy !req
74. Listen, I made
some calls, and I got
an assignment for you.Copy !req
75. It's not great,
you understand,Copy !req
76. but it gets you back
in the military.Copy !req
77. So after
two and a half weeksCopy !req
78. of living a civilian
puke's existence,Copy !req
79. I was back in uniform.Copy !req
80. Back in the Corps.Copy !req
81. Back to the sweet smell
of mustard gasCopy !req
82. and killing.Copy !req
83. Little did I know
what awaited for me.Copy !req
84. I've toured
11 separate engagements
from Iraq to Haiti,Copy !req
85. but nothing I did
would prepare me for
this newest assignment.Copy !req
86. I was told it would be
my greatest challenge.Copy !req
87. It was sure to be
a living hell.Copy !req
88. DR.(ON PA)
The glee club will be
meeting at 3:30.Copy !req
89. Will the teachers
please report to the quad
for the science fair judging.Copy !req
90. Tiger?
Tiger, come back here!
I'm not gonna chase you!Copy !req
91. What you
running from, boy?Copy !req
92. She's trying
to give me a shot.Copy !req
93. You don't like needles?Copy !req
94. Want me to show you
a little trick to take
your mind off that pain?Copy !req
95. Here, give me your hand.Copy !req
96. Now you may feel
a little bit
of pressure.Copy !req
97. Hi, I'm Emily Walburn,
the school counselor.Copy !req
98. You must be
Major Payne.Copy !req
99. That's a mighty fine
handshake you got there.Copy !req
100. You wanna wrestle?Copy !req
101. No, thanks.Copy !req
102. I wrestle with
these kids all day.Copy !req
103. This one's usually
my big helper.Copy !req
104. Come on, Tiger.Copy !req
105. Nice meeting you, Major.Copy !req
106. Nice meeting you,
Miss ma'am.Copy !req
107. Tiger!Copy !req
108. Tiger,
come back here!Copy !req
109. I'm not gonna
chase you.Copy !req
110. Mmm.Copy !req
111. DR. Come in.Copy !req
112. Major Payne reporting
for duty, sir.Copy !req
113. What?Copy !req
114. Major Payne,
the new commandant.Copy !req
115. Oh, right.Copy !req
116. You're in charge
of the green boys.Copy !req
117. Come again?Copy !req
118. The green boys.Copy !req
119. They wear those
green things.Copy !req
120. You know, it's funny.
When they stand in front
of bushes, I can't see them.Copy !req
121. Why are you here?Copy !req
122. The ROTC program.Copy !req
123. I understand
you've been placing lastCopy !req
124. eight years running
in the
Virginia Military Games.Copy !req
125. I am here to remedy that.Copy !req
126. We have an ROTC program?Copy !req
127. The green boys, sir.Copy !req
128. Oh, right.Copy !req
129. Between us, I don't care
what you do
with those boys,Copy !req
130. as long as you keep them
out of my hair.Copy !req
131. Is that all?Copy !req
132. Oh, would you like
a tour of the campus?Copy !req
133. No, I'd like to
see my men.Copy !req
134. Fall in!
Move it, you idiots!
Let's go!Copy !req
135. Come on, Williams!
Let's move it.
Get a hop on it, boy!Copy !req
136. Fall in, everyone!
Fall in! Let's go!Copy !req
137. Come on, people!
Move!Copy !req
138. Hustle, hustle, hustle!
Let's go. Giddyup!Copy !req
139. Giddyup, giddyup,
giddyup, giddyup.
Let's go!Copy !req
140. Sir, the squad
is formed, sir!Copy !req
141. Carry on.Copy !req
142. My name
is Major Benson
Winifred Payne.Copy !req
143. As of 0800,Copy !req
144. I am replacing
Major FrankfurtCopy !req
145. as your commanding officer.Copy !req
146. See now,
what we have hereCopy !req
147. is a failure
to communicate.Copy !req
148. Do not attemptCopy !req
149. to challenge my authority.Copy !req
150. I have eight weeks
to turn you
gaggle of maggotsCopy !req
151. into a well-disciplined
cadet unit.Copy !req
152. From this day forward,
your sorry asses
belong to me.Copy !req
153. You will not eat, sleep,
drink, blow your noseCopy !req
154. or even dig in your butts
without my say-so!Copy !req
155. Know this.Copy !req
156. Killing is
my business, ladies,Copy !req
157. and business is good.Copy !req
158. Boo-hoo.Copy !req
159. What?Copy !req
160. I have to go
to the bathroom.Copy !req
161. You hold it, turd.Copy !req
162. I can't!Copy !req
163. I said hold it, or I'll
break that off and kick it
around on the ground.Copy !req
164. Now be advised, ladies.Copy !req
165. We are going to win
the Virginia Military Games.Copy !req
166. I said win.Copy !req
167. Whiskey, Indian, November.Copy !req
168. Get used to the sound
of that word!Copy !req
169. Major Payne!Copy !req
170. What, boy?
What? What? What?Copy !req
171. I did something bad.Copy !req
172. You nasty little worm.Copy !req
173. Go change your Huggies, boy,
and be back here pronto!Copy !req
174. Stop that crying.Copy !req
175. You'll get no pity
from me.Copy !req
176. You think your tears
will stop Charlie
from taking his bayonetCopy !req
177. and sticking it
in your little
tiny heart?Copy !req
178. What the hell
was that, you little
freckle-faced cartoon?Copy !req
179. Did I give you
permission
to sneeze, Opie?Copy !req
180. No, sir.Copy !req
181. Then you hold it in,
you big-eared turd.Copy !req
182. Otherwise I'll
kick your ass
back to Mayberry.Copy !req
183. I see we have
a sickly boy
on our hands.Copy !req
184. Well, we're gonna
have to boost
your immune system, son.Copy !req
185. Drop down. Give me
25 pushups now.Copy !req
186. Count 'em out!Copy !req
187. One, sir.Copy !req
188. Two, sir.Copy !req
189. What are you
laughing at, pig boy?Copy !req
190. You find a piece of candy
in your pocket?Copy !req
191. No, sir.Copy !req
192. What's your name, tubby?Copy !req
193. Heathcoat, sir.Copy !req
194. Heathcoat.Copy !req
195. You know, you remind
me of the Doughboy.Copy !req
196. If I poke your stomach,
will it make you go . . .Copy !req
197. You know what?
I'm gonna help you make room
for lunch, bacon boy.Copy !req
198. Drop down, give me
30 sit-ups right now!
Let's go!Copy !req
199. Count 'em out.
Let me see
that belly roll.Copy !req
200. One, tubby, tubby.Copy !req
201. One, sir.
Come on, pork chop.Copy !req
202. Two, chubby, chubby.
Two, sir.Copy !req
203. You is a pure genius.Copy !req
204. Who are you?
Redd Foxx?Copy !req
205. No, better yet,
you Richard Pryor,
ain't you?Copy !req
206. What's your name,
girlfriend?Copy !req
207. Dwight Williams,
but my boys call me D.
So you can call me D.Copy !req
208. D, huh?
Yeah, brother.Copy !req
209. You like the way
I handle these
white boys, D?Copy !req
210. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
211. It make you feel good
to see a black man
running things, huh?Copy !req
212. Malcolm X.Copy !req
213. Well, let me tell
you something, D.Copy !req
214. Yeah, brother?
Why don't
you come closer.Copy !req
215. I am not
your damn brother!Copy !req
216. Now drop down
and give me 20
squat thrusts now!Copy !req
217. One, sir.Copy !req
218. What are you looking at,
ass eyes?Copy !req
219. Nothing, sir!Copy !req
220. You plotting on me, boy?Copy !req
221. No, sir!Copy !req
222. Well, let me
tell you something,
ass eyes.Copy !req
223. Let me tell
you all something.Copy !req
224. War has made me
very paranoid!Copy !req
225. And when a man gets
to eyeballing me,Copy !req
226. it makes my Agent Orange
act up, and I get
the urge to kill!Copy !req
227. Do you understand me?Copy !req
228. Sir, yes, sir!Copy !req
229. Do you all
understand me?Copy !req
230. Sir, yes, sir!Copy !req
231. I can't hear you.Copy !req
232. Sir, yes, sir!Copy !req
233. And what is
your damage,
muscle head?Copy !req
234. You stupid,
you ignorant or you
just plain old deaf?Copy !req
235. Yes, sir.
Actually,
he is deaf.Copy !req
236. Oh. Well, thank you.Copy !req
237. Now drop down,
give me 25 more
for speaking out of line!Copy !req
238. One, sir.Copy !req
239. I'm sorry,
Mr. Handicapped Man.Copy !req
240. I didn't mean
to offend you.Copy !req
241. Do you speak
sign language?Copy !req
242. Can you read lips?
Let me break it down.Copy !req
243. If you don't answer me
when I speak to you,Copy !req
244. I'm gonna put my foot
in your ass!Copy !req
245. Is that clear, dummy?Copy !req
246. Sir, yes, sir.Copy !req
247. Hold on, guys.
Wait up.Copy !req
248. Wait.Copy !req
249. Hey, guys!
Don't start
without me!Copy !req
250. Come on!
Wait! Hold on.Copy !req
251. Coming.Copy !req
252. Hello, gorgeous.
Welcome to my party.Copy !req
253. You know, you're
out of uniform there,
Mr. Fonzarelli.Copy !req
254. Yeah, well,
I like this look
better, General.Copy !req
255. Admiral. Whatever.Copy !req
256. It's Major, boy.Copy !req
257. Ooh. Looks like
we got another major
on our hands here, guys.Copy !req
258. Oh, major!
Oh, major!Copy !req
259. What's your name,
girlie mouth?Copy !req
260. Cadet Alex Stone, sir!Copy !req
261. Yes, sir.
Hey, ho, sir.Copy !req
262. Well, I'm glad
to see you've got
a sense of humor.Copy !req
263. So do I.Copy !req
264. From now on,
my little group
of scrotum sacs,Copy !req
265. you will strive
to be like me.Copy !req
266. You will walk like me,Copy !req
267. talk like me,Copy !req
268. and until you win
those Games,Copy !req
269. you will be
bald like me.Copy !req
270. Way to go
this time,
Alex.Copy !req
271. Dotson, take these men
for two hours of PT!Copy !req
272. Yes, sir!Copy !req
273. First exercise
will be the
side-straddle hop!Copy !req
274. Squad, ready.
Exercise!Copy !req
275. One, two, three.Copy !req
276. Come on, bacon boy!
Come on!Copy !req
277. Command, one!Copy !req
278. Hey, Dotson,
why don't you just
sit down and shut up.Copy !req
279. I'm writing you up,
buddy!Copy !req
280. That's it.
No more of this!Copy !req
281. Quit it, Dotson.
You're scaring me!Copy !req
282. Hello, Miss Walburn.Copy !req
283. Major Payne,
could you please
help me to understandCopy !req
284. why you shaved
the children bald?Copy !req
285. Oh, that's my little
incentive program.Copy !req
286. These boys have
to earn their due.Copy !req
287. Their hairdo, that is.Copy !req
288. Do they have
to earn their bathroom
privileges, too?Copy !req
289. What do you want,
Mr. Pee-body?Copy !req
290. Well, he's upset
about this morning.Copy !req
291. Apparently, he had
a little accident.Copy !req
292. Apparently,
he pissed all over
the front of his pants.Copy !req
293. Well, maybe
that's because
he's six.Copy !req
294. Maybe 'cause he's six.Copy !req
295. Woman, when I was
six years old,
I had a fulltime job.Copy !req
296. Well, I told him that
you have something that
you'd like to say to him.Copy !req
297. You think I owe you
an apology?Copy !req
298. Want me to take back
some of those mean and
hurtful little things I said?Copy !req
299. Okay.Copy !req
300. I'm sorry
you're just a little turdCopy !req
301. that can't hold
your liquid out in public.Copy !req
302. Now you get on out of my face
before I pick you up and
toss you out of that window.Copy !req
303. Major, have you ever done
this kind of work before?Copy !req
304. Woman,Copy !req
305. under this here hat,
I've trained 20,432Copy !req
306. combat killing machines.Copy !req
307. Well, that's
just my point.Copy !req
308. You see,
now you're dealing
with children,Copy !req
309. and children
have special needs.Copy !req
310. Do you know what
positive
reinforcement means?Copy !req
311. Is that anything like
where you take a POW
and you snap his neckCopy !req
312. after you torture him
so he don't have to go through
life with a colostomy bag?Copy !req
313. Sort of.Copy !req
314. I'd like to make
a suggestion.Copy !req
315. Why don't you and I
become partnersCopy !req
316. in the emotional growth
and development of
these little ones?Copy !req
317. What do you say?Copy !req
318. Can you be my big helper
and help me do that?Copy !req
319. Yes.Copy !req
320. Good.Copy !req
321. Why do I feel like
a jackass?Copy !req
322. Look at that! Baldy!Copy !req
323. Hey,
your head's shaped
like a bowling ball!Copy !req
324. Nazi fascist pig!Copy !req
325. I know where
I'm gonna shave him.Copy !req
326. Damn Major Payne.Copy !req
327. I didn't want
you to be my damn brother
in the first place.Copy !req
328. Most of the body
heat travels through
the head, you know.Copy !req
329. It means I'm gonna be
colder, and I get sick.Copy !req
330. And if I'm sick,
I'm gonna start
throwing up . . .Copy !req
331. Man, that damn
Payne's already starting
to get on my nerves.Copy !req
332. Turd this, turd that.
Who does he think he is?Copy !req
333. Just shut up.Copy !req
334. You telling me
to shut up?Copy !req
335. Why don't you
shut your damn mouthCopy !req
336. and stop eating
all that damn candy,
you fat pig.Copy !req
337. I look like Curly
from The Three Stooges.Copy !req
338. Did I say you could
touch my bed?Copy !req
339. No.Copy !req
340. Then get off.Copy !req
341. Ow!Copy !req
342. Payne's gonna kill us.Copy !req
343. You know I have
a heart condition.Copy !req
344. I'm not sure he's familiar
with my medical history.Copy !req
345. Let's go, let's go,
let's go! Come on!Copy !req
346. Move it! Saddle up
that horsey and ride!Copy !req
347. You ever hear of
knocking, Dotson?Copy !req
348. You won't have to worry
about that anymore.Copy !req
349. I have good news
for you assholes.Copy !req
350. Pack your bedding, your kit
and your clothes! Let's go!Copy !req
351. Where to?Copy !req
352. Hello, cue balls.
Welcome to
the House of Payne.Copy !req
353. You gotta
be joking.Copy !req
354. A squad that
lives together,
wins together.Copy !req
355. Unity, turds.Copy !req
356. That is the key word
in "unit" without the Y.Copy !req
357. Tiger, Leland,
you will reside at
the ROTC building.Copy !req
358. The rest of you garbage,
grab a rack and settle in.Copy !req
359. Let's move out.Copy !req
360. You eyeball me again,
I'll snatch it outCopy !req
361. and put it
in Heathcoat's
cookie bag.Copy !req
362. It's so damp.
What about
my allergies?Copy !req
363. You know how far
we are
from the kitchen?Copy !req
364. Why can't I stay here
with the rest of these guys?
Shut up.Copy !req
365. 'Cause I said so, turd.Copy !req
366. Major Payne, sir.Copy !req
367. What?Copy !req
368. Sir, I think I speak for
everyone when I say that
this place is unacceptable,Copy !req
369. sir.Copy !req
370. Really?Copy !req
371. Love my barracks
night and dayCopy !req
372. Love my barracks
night and dayCopy !req
373. Won't complain
That's where I'll stayCopy !req
374. Good plan
this time, Alex.Copy !req
375. Why don't you shut up?Copy !req
376. All right,
my little patch of
Brussels sprouts.Copy !req
377. Uproot yourselves,
climb out the pool
and get some rest.Copy !req
378. You're gonna need it.Copy !req
379. Tomorrow, ladies,
we gonna start
the hard stuff.Copy !req
380. The hard stuff?Copy !req
381. Let's move it,
you turds!Copy !req
382. You'll get
no sympathy from me!Copy !req
383. You want sympathy,
look in the dictionaryCopy !req
384. between "shit"
and "syphilis!"Copy !req
385. That's where
you'll find
my sympathy!Copy !req
386. This ain't no walk
in the park!Copy !req
387. Let's move it!
Hustle, hustle!Copy !req
388. Hey, Dumbo!Copy !req
389. You should be able
to fly through those tubes
with them big-ass ears, boy!Copy !req
390. Yeah, Dumbo!
Fly, baby, fly!Copy !req
391. Hey, Williams!Copy !req
392. You tell
Marlee Matlin's son,Copy !req
393. if he don't get
across that rope,
I'm gonna hang him with it!Copy !req
394. He'll hang you
with it!Copy !req
395. Heathcoat!Copy !req
396. You get your fat body
over that wall!Copy !req
397. Take your
fat pork chop body
over that . . .Copy !req
398. You shut up.Copy !req
399. Nobody's leaving here until
the average for this squad
is one minute, 20 seconds!Copy !req
400. Come on,
he can't do it.Copy !req
401. Leave him alone.
I can barely do it.Copy !req
402. It's slippery
out here.Copy !req
403. Slippery, he say.Copy !req
404. You think Charlie care
anything about slippery?Copy !req
405. Only thing he knows
is slit your throat.Copy !req
406. What if this was
a life-or-death
situation?Copy !req
407. But it's not
a life-or-death
situation.Copy !req
408. It is now.Copy !req
409. One Mississippi.Copy !req
410. Two Mississippi.Copy !req
411. Come on, guys!
What are you, crazy?Copy !req
412. It's just a dummy grenade.Copy !req
413. Damn!Copy !req
414. Who's the dummy now?Copy !req
415. So what is it, exactly?Copy !req
416. Concentrated
dithiazanine.Copy !req
417. What the hell
is that?Copy !req
418. It's like
a super laxative.Copy !req
419. This here will pack
enough punch to take out
an entire football team.Copy !req
420. Payne will never
get off the can.Copy !req
421. He'll be making
beef stool
till graduation.Copy !req
422. Yeah.
Nice.Copy !req
423. Payne will never know
what hit him.Copy !req
424. Major Payne, sir?Copy !req
425. You see
I'm eating, turd?Copy !req
426. There's a call
for you, sir.Copy !req
427. He's coming!
He's coming!Copy !req
428. Hmm.Copy !req
429. Ready on the right!Copy !req
430. Damn, G.
He nearly
put you in a coma.Copy !req
431. Ready on the left!Copy !req
432. It can't be legal the way
he's been treating us.Copy !req
433. Ready on
the firing range!Copy !req
434. Turds, commence firing!
Let's just tell Phillips.Copy !req
435. No, no. That senile old fool
ain't gonna help us.Copy !req
436. What the hell is that?
What kind of shooting
is that?Copy !req
437. Hey! Hey, dummy!Copy !req
438. What's the matter?
You can't
see, either?Copy !req
439. We gotta get rid of
that son of a bitch.Copy !req
440. You gaggle
of maggots couldn't hit
a bull in the assCopy !req
441. with a baseball bat!Copy !req
442. Listen, we're gonna have
to prove that Payne
did something so vile,Copy !req
443. so perverse,Copy !req
444. so disgustingCopy !req
445. that Phillips
will have no choice
but to fire him.Copy !req
446. Like what?Copy !req
447. Why me?Copy !req
448. Because you have
got the biggest tits.Copy !req
449. Why not Wuliger?Copy !req
450. 'Cause Wuliger's
gotta take
the pictures.Copy !req
451. Look, it's been
four hours.
He hasn't blinked.Copy !req
452. I'm telling you, these
Special Forces guysCopy !req
453. can sleep with
their eyes open.Copy !req
454. Trust me.Copy !req
455. What happened
to the other dress?Copy !req
456. This one's prettier.Copy !req
457. Shut up, Bryan!Copy !req
458. Shh! Come on.Copy !req
459. Williams, go.Copy !req
460. Man,
you sure about this?
He looks awake to me.Copy !req
461. No, I checked on that.Copy !req
462. Watch this.Copy !req
463. Yo, turd sniffer.
Maggot face.Copy !req
464. See? He's dead
to the world.Copy !req
465. Let's go.Copy !req
466. Get in.Copy !req
467. Can't I just stand
beside the bed?Copy !req
468. Get in.Copy !req
469. Get in.Copy !req
470. All right,
now put your head
on his shoulder.Copy !req
471. Are you crazy?Copy !req
472. Do it.Copy !req
473. Closer.Copy !req
474. Now put your arm
around him.Copy !req
475. Good. Now hold it.Copy !req
476. Hold it. Okay.Copy !req
477. Hello, Betty.Copy !req
478. Got no worry
Got no stressCopy !req
479. Got no worry
Got no stressCopy !req
480. 'Cause we feel good
in our dressCopy !req
481. Major Payne's
a major disCopy !req
482. Makes us squat
when we pissCopy !req
483. He makes us squat
when we pissCopy !req
484. Got no worries
Got no careCopy !req
485. Got no worries
Got no careCopy !req
486. I'm a bald-headed
son of a bitch
without hairCopy !req
487. Used to be Samson
Now I'm AnnCopy !req
488. Gotta earn my right
to be called a manCopy !req
489. I'll tell you, ladies,
you're the purtiest unit
ever underneath my command!Copy !req
490. Maybe I'll have
to change my name
to Pimp Daddy Payne!Copy !req
491. Major!Copy !req
492. What are the boys doing
in those dresses?Copy !req
493. They putting on
a fashion show.Copy !req
494. I thought we had a little
talk about this kind of
negative reinforcement.Copy !req
495. Weren't you going
to be my big helper?Copy !req
496. Yeah,
but they started it.Copy !req
497. Well, I'm stopping it.Copy !req
498. Don't touch
my whistle.Copy !req
499. But I was just gonna . . .Copy !req
500. Don't touch
the whistle.Copy !req
501. All right, ladies!Copy !req
502. Take off those dresses.
Head to your barracks.Copy !req
503. Fold 'em up neatly.Copy !req
504. Let's move it.Copy !req
505. You should
shave your legs more.Copy !req
506. Shut up!Copy !req
507. Good day,
Miss Walburn.Copy !req
508. Do you really think
that this approachCopy !req
509. is the best way
to gain the trust
of these boys?Copy !req
510. They may not like me,
but they
will respect me.Copy !req
511. Let me be more direct.Copy !req
512. They hate you.Copy !req
513. Good. It'll draw them
close together,
make 'em a team.Copy !req
514. That's a very
cynical plan.Copy !req
515. Yeah, but it
won't backfire.Copy !req
516. Here.Copy !req
517. I would like you to
consider
an alternative approach.Copy !req
518. I want you to
have this book.Copy !req
519. Read it.
Apply it.Copy !req
520. The ABC's of the Loving
Male Role Model.Copy !req
521. I don't need your book.Copy !req
522. Take it.
I don't want it.Copy !req
523. Please, Major?Copy !req
524. Okay.Copy !req
525. Shut up.Copy !req
526. All right, I got
a sure-fire planCopy !req
527. to get rid of
that son of a bitch.Copy !req
528. What is it?
What? What?Copy !req
529. It's gonna cost us.Copy !req
530. How much you got?
20.Copy !req
531. I got 25.Copy !req
532. Put me down for 40.Copy !req
533. All right, Dotson!
Yeah!Copy !req
534. Okay. All right.
All right.Copy !req
535. We're taking out
Payne tomorrow!Copy !req
536. Yeah!Copy !req
537. "Love is the keyCopy !req
538. "to understanding."Copy !req
539. "The Three Bees.Copy !req
540. "Bee a good listener.Copy !req
541. "Bee sensitive
to their needs."Copy !req
542. Oh, hello, Miss Walburn.Copy !req
543. I just came by
to let you knowCopy !req
544. that Wuliger has
a slight temperature,Copy !req
545. so you might not
want to torture him
this evening.Copy !req
546. I will be sensitiveCopy !req
547. to his needs.Copy !req
548. Have you been
reading the book?Copy !req
549. Well, I might have
glanced at it
once or twice.Copy !req
550. Oh, well, that's very good!
I'm very proud of you, Major.Copy !req
551. Oh, shucks.Copy !req
552. It ain't hard
being sensitive.Copy !req
553. He's back! He's back!Copy !req
554. Who's back?Copy !req
555. The man who lives
in my closet.Copy !req
556. Oh, boy,
get on out of hereCopy !req
557. with that "I'm scared
of the dark" crap.
Go on, now. Get!Copy !req
558. Sensitive.Copy !req
559. Sensitive. Sensitive.Copy !req
560. Hello, there, fella.
You know,
what you're having,Copy !req
561. it's called a nightmare.Copy !req
562. Do you know
what a nightmare is?Copy !req
563. Well,
that's all this is.Copy !req
564. Why don't you run on
back to your roomCopy !req
565. before that man jump
out the closet and chop
your little head off.Copy !req
566. Sensitive.Copy !req
567. You call that
being sensitive?Copy !req
568. Let me give you
a little history
on Kevin Dunne.Copy !req
569. Both of his parents
are dead.Copy !req
570. Car accident, 1989.Copy !req
571. Lived in
the Chelsea Orphanage
till 1991Copy !req
572. when the school
adopted him.Copy !req
573. I know all about it.Copy !req
574. Well, then you should also
know that the last thing
he needs right nowCopy !req
575. is a sadistic father figure
scaring the life out of him.Copy !req
576. Maybe what he need
is for you to pop
your titty out his mouthCopy !req
577. and let the boy grow up.Copy !req
578. Excuse me?
What did you say?Copy !req
579. I didn't stutter.Copy !req
580. I said
pop your titty
out his mouthCopy !req
581. and stop babying him!Copy !req
582. I don't call it babying.
I call it nurturing.Copy !req
583. And I call it neutering.Copy !req
584. And I call you
an insecure,Copy !req
585. overbearing, psychopathic,
dictatorial, egomaniacal,Copy !req
586. frigid lunatic asshole!Copy !req
587. I ain't frigid.Copy !req
588. He's still there!Copy !req
589. You wanna see nurturing?Copy !req
590. He's in there?Copy !req
591. If he's still in there,
he ain't happy.Copy !req
592. What was that?Copy !req
593. Major Payne just
terminated that bad man
with extreme prejudice!Copy !req
594. And if he's
still in there,
he ain't happy!Copy !req
595. You run on back to bed.Copy !req
596. That bad man ain't
gonna bother you no more.Copy !req
597. Thank you, Major.Copy !req
598. I love you.Copy !req
599. What's your angle, boy?
You plotting on me?Copy !req
600. No, sir!Copy !req
601. Don't you know
I could snap your neck
in 20 different places?Copy !req
602. Major, Major!
It's okay!Copy !req
603. He's just trying
to show you
some affection!Copy !req
604. I don't like it.Copy !req
605. Make me feel all funny.Copy !req
606. Good night,
Miss Walburn.Copy !req
607. Good night, Major.Copy !req
608. Where is he?Copy !req
609. He better get here.Copy !req
610. Alex! Alex!Copy !req
611. Alex, did you do it?Copy !req
612. How much did it cost?Copy !req
613. Where were you?
You really did it?Copy !req
614. I did it. I did it.
Sure.Copy !req
615. Squad! Atten-hut.Copy !req
616. Let's go, maggots.
Follow my lead!Copy !req
617. Payne's not here
He's in our assCopy !req
618. Butt's so tight
He can't pass gasCopy !req
619. Sound offCopy !req
620. One, twoCopy !req
621. Sound off
Three, fourCopy !req
622. Break it on downCopy !req
623. Break it on down...Copy !req
624. You like to
rhyme, boy?Copy !req
625. What's your name?
Bushwick Bill?Copy !req
626. No, let me guess.
You Snoop Diggety Dogg.Copy !req
627. Turds, front leaning
rest position. Move!Copy !req
628. I'm going to teach you
how I rhyme
military style!Copy !req
629. One.Copy !req
630. Don't you feel dumb?Copy !req
631. Two.Copy !req
632. Look at you.Copy !req
633. Three.Copy !req
634. Don't you ever make
no jokes about me
behind my back.Copy !req
635. Otherwise
I stomp you
in the ground!Copy !req
636. All right, ladies . . .Copy !req
637. Hey, Dunne.
You missed
all the fun.Copy !req
638. That's another rhyme.Copy !req
639. All right, we're heading
down to the field . . .Copy !req
640. There he is.Copy !req
641. . . . for two hours
of weapons drill.Copy !req
642. Yo, Payne!Copy !req
643. You Payne?Copy !req
644. I got something
to say to you.Copy !req
645. Fee, fie, foe, fum.Copy !req
646. What beanstalk
you fall from?Copy !req
647. You know, I heard
you've been giving
these boys a hard time.Copy !req
648. In fact,
I heard you couldn't cut it
in a real man's military!Copy !req
649. I heard that it's time
for you to leave.Copy !req
650. Yeah.Copy !req
651. Know what I heard?Copy !req
652. I heard your mother
was so fat, she played
pool with the planets.Copy !req
653. Yes!Copy !req
654. You thinking
about leaving yet?Copy !req
655. Well, actually, I think
the party just begun.Copy !req
656. Now, what I'm gonna do
is take this right footCopy !req
657. and I'm gonna put it
across the left side
of your face.Copy !req
658. Don't give me
that Billy Jack
bullshit!Copy !req
659. You said you were gonna
hit me in the face.Copy !req
660. What,
you calling me
a liar?Copy !req
661. Ooh!Copy !req
662. Oh, children.Copy !req
663. Somebody's gonna answer
for this blood
from my lip.Copy !req
664. I want names.Copy !req
665. I wanna know
who's responsible.Copy !req
666. Don't all run at once.Copy !req
667. I guess nobody's
responsible.Copy !req
668. Guess I just had
that one coming.Copy !req
669. Well, you know
what y'all got coming?Copy !req
670. Seven 23-hour days
full of fun and adventure.Copy !req
671. I'm gonna
make you boys strong.Copy !req
672. Sir.Copy !req
673. Yes, turd?Copy !req
674. It was me, sir.
I hired him.Copy !req
675. Well, that's one
death warrant signed.Copy !req
676. Do I have any more
volunteers?Copy !req
677. What about you,
brown nose?Copy !req
678. I acted alone, sir.Copy !req
679. The rest of the squad
was unaware
of my activities.Copy !req
680. That's a pretty bold
move there, Mr. Stone.Copy !req
681. What do you think
I ought to do with you?Copy !req
682. I don't know, sir.Copy !req
683. You don't know.Copy !req
684. I guess you should
probably expel me, sir.Copy !req
685. What, and send you
on a vacation?Copy !req
686. Dotson.Copy !req
687. Sir, yes, sir!Copy !req
688. You are no longer
the squad leader.Copy !req
689. Stone, you are now
cadet sergeant.Copy !req
690. If these men win the
Virginia Military Games,Copy !req
691. it'll be because
you have led them
to a victory.Copy !req
692. If they lose,
it'll be because
you failed them.Copy !req
693. I don't accept
that responsibility.Copy !req
694. It's not negotiable.Copy !req
695. If I'm the new squad leader,
my first order is
to screw you, sir!Copy !req
696. What did you say
to me, turd?Copy !req
697. Why don't you go
back to hell
where you came from?Copy !req
698. Boy, I am two seconds
from being on you
like white on riceCopy !req
699. and a glass of milk
on a paper plate
in a snowstorm!Copy !req
700. I will put my foot
so far up your ass,Copy !req
701. the water on my knee
will quench your thirst.Copy !req
702. Try it.Copy !req
703. You want me gone, boy?Copy !req
704. Yes, sir.Copy !req
705. I said, do you
want me gone, soldier?Copy !req
706. Yes, sir!Copy !req
707. Then you meet me outside
the ROTC building
at 2100 hours.Copy !req
708. You ladies want me gone,
you'll get your chance.Copy !req
709. Where is the first-place
trophy from the Virginia
Military Games?Copy !req
710. Wellington Academy, sir.Copy !req
711. I want that trophy.Copy !req
712. If you turds can
bring me that trophy,Copy !req
713. I will resign
my command.Copy !req
714. This is a black op,
gentlemen.Copy !req
715. If you are discovered,
I will deny all knowledge,Copy !req
716. and you
will pay the price.Copy !req
717. That is my deal.Copy !req
718. Do you accept it?Copy !req
719. Sir, yes, sir.Copy !req
720. Then bring me my trophy.Copy !req
721. All right, guys,
this is it.Copy !req
722. This is our big chance
to get rid of Payne.Copy !req
723. We got two miles
to get to Wellington.Copy !req
724. Now let's get it
out of there
as fast as we can.Copy !req
725. Let's hustle.
Move it! Let's go!Copy !req
726. Go, go, go!Copy !req
727. This is your
last chance,
Dotson.Copy !req
728. What, you think
I'm gonna come and help
you make me look bad?Copy !req
729. Anyway,
I've called my dad.Copy !req
730. I'm leaving
this stupid school.Copy !req
731. Bye. Have a good time.Copy !req
732. Where you going?Copy !req
733. I'm going
on a black op.Copy !req
734. No, no, no.
You can't come.
You're too little.Copy !req
735. Why don't you stay back here
and guard the base, okay?Copy !req
736. What's the matter
with you, boy?Copy !req
737. They won't let me
go on no black op.
They say I'm too little,Copy !req
738. and no one ever
lets you do anything
when you're too little.Copy !req
739. Ah, phooey.Copy !req
740. What about all those stories
about the little people
that do big things?Copy !req
741. Like Little Red Riding Hood,
them three little pigs,Copy !req
742. Spike Lee
or them Little Rasfcals.Copy !req
743. You ever hear the story
about the
Little Engine That Could?Copy !req
744. Let me tell you
that story.Copy !req
745. Once upon a time,Copy !req
746. deep, deep in the jungle,Copy !req
747. there was a Little
Engine That Could.Copy !req
748. And he was
chugging his way
across the enemy line.Copy !req
749. Toot, toot.Copy !req
750. This Little Engine's missionCopy !req
751. was to take some AK-47s
and a nuclear payloadCopy !req
752. over the mountain
to the 2063 Battalion.Copy !req
753. Needless to say,
there was
plenty opposition.Copy !req
754. You think that stopped
the Little Engine
That Could?Copy !req
755. No, siree, Bob.
He just kept
chugging along.Copy !req
756. Toot, toot.Copy !req
757. Not even when
they climbed
aboard the trainCopy !req
758. and popped out the eyes
of the conductor,Copy !req
759. and blood and snot
was dripping out
his eye sockets.Copy !req
760. You think that stopped
the Little Engine
That Could?Copy !req
761. Damn skippy.
He just kept
chugging along.Copy !req
762. Toot, toot.Copy !req
763. It wasn't until
Charlie rigged a bridge
with plastic explosivesCopy !req
764. just as the Little Engine
was making his way
across the trestle.Copy !req
765. Boom!Copy !req
766. An explosion happened.Copy !req
767. Blood and guts and spit
and ass was everywhere.Copy !req
768. And Bubba come crawling
out the back door,Copy !req
769. both legs missing.Copy !req
770. Lula May's baby boy!Copy !req
771. He look up at me.
He said, "Payne!Copy !req
772. "I can't feel my legs."Copy !req
773. I said, "Bubba,
they ain't there."Copy !req
774. And I looked down,Copy !req
775. and them little bloody nubs
was kicking real fast,
like this here.Copy !req
776. And I said,
"Bubba, it's 30 miles
to the nearest town.Copy !req
777. "Unless you can flip
upside down and
walk on your hands,Copy !req
778. "you ain't gonna make it."Copy !req
779. All of a sudden, Charlie
was all over the place.Copy !req
780. It was just me
and my sidearm.Copy !req
781. And I had
no other alternativeCopy !req
782. but to blast my way out.Copy !req
783. "Die, pig! Die!Copy !req
784. "You'll never take
Major Benson Winifred
Payne alive!"Copy !req
785. Bam!
"I saw what you did
to my friend!"Copy !req
786. Bam! Bam!
Major! Major! Major!Copy !req
787. Bam! Bam!Copy !req
788. Hello, Miss Walburn.Copy !req
789. You just missed
a little bedtime story.Copy !req
790. No. I didn't, actually.Copy !req
791. In fact, I'd love
to talk to you
about that story.Copy !req
792. Perhaps over dinner?Copy !req
793. Okay.Copy !req
794. Okay.
I'll go get ready.Copy !req
795. Me too.Copy !req
796. Okay.Copy !req
797. All right. Bye.Copy !req
798. To be continued.Copy !req
799. When I come back,
I'll tell you what
Bubba used as a penis.Copy !req
800. Well, ain't you gonna eat?Copy !req
801. I think I'll wait a moment.
My stomach's a little upset.Copy !req
802. Them some mighty
fine vittles.Copy !req
803. Wouldn't let 'em
go to waste.Copy !req
804. You know, I think
you're really making
some wonderful stridesCopy !req
805. with the way
you're dealing
with the children.Copy !req
806. That was almost a really
good thing you tried to do
for Tiger tonight.Copy !req
807. May I make a suggestion?Copy !req
808. Proceed.Copy !req
809. Well, your story,
while colorful,Copy !req
810. was a bit rough.Copy !req
811. You mean
the explosion?Copy !req
812. Yes. And the
eye-gouging part.Copy !req
813. You need to loosen up.Copy !req
814. Not everything
can be about war.Copy !req
815. What do you like
to do for fun?Copy !req
816. I like to hang
upside down blindfolded,Copy !req
817. and then I take my gun apart
and I put it back
together real fastCopy !req
818. before my nose
starts to bleed.Copy !req
819. Well, that's great.Copy !req
820. But is there anything
that you like that doesn't
have to do with battle?Copy !req
821. Like what?Copy !req
822. Like golf.Copy !req
823. Negative.Copy !req
824. Well, do you like
to go to the movies?Copy !req
825. Negative.Copy !req
826. I don't suppose you dance.Copy !req
827. I've been known
to cut a little rug
in my day.Copy !req
828. Ain't you gonna dance?Copy !req
829. Benson.Copy !req
830. Benson,Copy !req
831. nobody does
the robot anymore.Copy !req
832. Then I guess
I gotta dig further
into my repertoire.Copy !req
833. Williams, you take these
guys and fan out the left
flank of the school. Go!Copy !req
834. Got you.Copy !req
835. Wuliger, you take
these two and cover
the right. Got it?Copy !req
836. Got it.
All right, come on!Copy !req
837. Don't move.Copy !req
838. Madison is a loser.Copy !req
839. Man, get in there.Copy !req
840. All right?
And then his
chest cavity exploded.Copy !req
841. Boom!Copy !req
842. You know, that was
the first timeCopy !req
843. I ever drove
a man's nose up
into his brainCopy !req
844. causing instant death
and simultaneous
bowel evacuation.Copy !req
845. But enough
about me, woman.
What's your story?Copy !req
846. I'm surprised
you ain't dropped
about 12 puppies by now.Copy !req
847. Ain't you never
been married?Copy !req
848. Yeah, I was.Copy !req
849. What happened?
You terminate
his command?Copy !req
850. No. Actually, he left.Copy !req
851. I wanted children.
He didn't.Copy !req
852. Any man that would
leave you ought
to be monkey stompedCopy !req
853. and have his brains
mailed back
to his mother.Copy !req
854. Well, thank you,
Benson.Copy !req
855. How about you?Copy !req
856. Was there ever
a Mrs. Payne?Copy !req
857. Negative.Copy !req
858. I figure if the
Marines wanted me
to have a wife,Copy !req
859. they'd have
issued me one.Copy !req
860. Well,Copy !req
861. I had a really nice
time tonight, Benson.Copy !req
862. Heck, being with you
is almost better
than cleaning my gun.Copy !req
863. I got something for you.Copy !req
864. Oh, what is it?Copy !req
865. It's a bullet.Copy !req
866. It's something special.Copy !req
867. It's from my heart.Copy !req
868. Really? Well,
where'd you get it?Copy !req
869. From my heart.Copy !req
870. Left ventricle.
I took it out myself
with a field knife.Copy !req
871. And I want you
to have that.Copy !req
872. Thank you, Benson.Copy !req
873. Good night.Copy !req
874. Good night, princess.Copy !req
875. Wee, doggie!Copy !req
876. What the hell
are you doing
in my office?Copy !req
877. It was a trap.Copy !req
878. You set us up.Copy !req
879. I might have made
a little anonymous call.Copy !req
880. You didn't think
they were just gonna
hand it to you, did you?Copy !req
881. We got the crap
kicked out of us
because of you.Copy !req
882. Tonight wasn't
about fair or unfair.Copy !req
883. It was about achieving
your objective.Copy !req
884. Did you?Copy !req
885. Did you even
see that trophy?Copy !req
886. Oh, I saw it.Copy !req
887. And when you saw it,
did you want it?Copy !req
888. Yeah, to get rid of you.Copy !req
889. That's not what I asked.Copy !req
890. Did you want it?Copy !req
891. I wanted it.Copy !req
892. To own it?Copy !req
893. Yeah.Copy !req
894. Deserve it?
Yeah.Copy !req
895. To win it?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
896. Then let's win it,
you bruised-up turd!Copy !req
897. If you really
want it, I'll show
you how to earn it.Copy !req
898. DR.(ON PA)
Welcome, parents,
to Madison School.Copy !req
899. For your convenience,
we will be announcing
activities throughout the day.Copy !req
900. Hey, Heathcoat,
your parents coming today?Copy !req
901. No, of course not.Copy !req
902. How about you, Williams?Copy !req
903. What,
are you kidding?
Shut up.Copy !req
904. My parents said
they'd come, but
I said I got allergies . . .Copy !req
905. What the hell
happened to you?Copy !req
906. Me? Nothing.
I'm great.Copy !req
907. Look at you, though.Copy !req
908. Regular little
soldier man.Copy !req
909. You a hard ass now?Copy !req
910. What are you
doing here?Copy !req
911. It's Parents Day,
and I am
your legal guardian.Copy !req
912. You're drunk.Copy !req
913. Don't you walk away
from me.Copy !req
914. Oh.Copy !req
915. Give me
a little salute.Copy !req
916. I'm not gonna salute you.Copy !req
917. You salute
your superiors.Copy !req
918. Or don't they teach
that around here?Copy !req
919. What superior?Copy !req
920. They kicked you out,
remember?Copy !req
921. Don't you sass me
like your mother.Copy !req
922. You're mine now.
I own you,Copy !req
923. and you will respect me.Copy !req
924. Now you salute me.Copy !req
925. No.Copy !req
926. You hit that boy again,
I'm gonna do more
than salute you.Copy !req
927. This is between
me and my son.Copy !req
928. Stepson.Copy !req
929. Whoever he is,
he's on my time now.Copy !req
930. Now I'm gonna
ask you nicely.Copy !req
931. Please return
to your vehicle.Copy !req
932. You go on now.Copy !req
933. Go on back
to your bunk, son.Copy !req
934. Major Payne, sir.Copy !req
935. Yeah.Copy !req
936. I wanna get
that trophy, sir.Copy !req
937. Come again?Copy !req
938. I wanna get
that trophy, sir.Copy !req
939. What, you want
to steal it?Copy !req
940. No, sir.Copy !req
941. You want to win it?Copy !req
942. I want to earn it, sir.Copy !req
943. The rest of your men
feel the same way?Copy !req
944. Meet me on the parade ground,
1700 hours.Copy !req
945. We got work to do.Copy !req
946. Squad, atten-hut!Copy !req
947. Two. Three.Copy !req
948. Four. Five.Copy !req
949. Six.Copy !req
950. Seven.Copy !req
951. Eight.Copy !req
952. Forty inches
breast to back.Copy !req
953. Squad!Copy !req
954. Atten-hut!Copy !req
955. Present arms!Copy !req
956. Order arms!Copy !req
957. Left face!Copy !req
958. Right face!Copy !req
959. Parade rest!Copy !req
960. You're still
a shit sandwich.Copy !req
961. You're just not
a soggy one.Copy !req
962. From now on,
you are no longer turds.Copy !req
963. You've graduated
to maggots.Copy !req
964. You're a family.Copy !req
965. A team.Copy !req
966. Let's win them Games.Copy !req
967. Squad!Copy !req
968. Atten-hut!Copy !req
969. General on deck.Copy !req
970. Major, I have news
so good I've decided to
deliver it personally.Copy !req
971. America needs you.Copy !req
972. There's a situation
in Bosnia that requires
your special services.Copy !req
973. As of this moment,Copy !req
974. you are reinstated
in the United States
MarinesCopy !req
975. at the rank of
Lieutenant Colonel.Copy !req
976. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
977. Congratulations.Copy !req
978. Your unit
will be leaving
out of Washington.Copy !req
979. You will arrive tomorrow
at 1600 for briefing.Copy !req
980. Here are your tickets.Copy !req
981. General, tomorrow
are the Military Games,
and I was hoping . . .Copy !req
982. Games?Copy !req
983. Payne, I fought
to get you reinstated.Copy !req
984. You wanted in.
I got you in.Copy !req
985. You don't take this,
there won't be
any more chances.Copy !req
986. Sir, the Major
will be there, sir.Copy !req
987. Good man.Copy !req
988. I'll see you
in Washington.Copy !req
989. Hey, hey, hey, Major.Copy !req
990. Where you going?Copy !req
991. Back to killing.
You wanna come?Copy !req
992. I didn't think so.Copy !req
993. Go lead your men
into victory.Copy !req
994. Great. What happened
to unity and familyCopy !req
995. and all that other bullshit
that you taught us?Copy !req
996. Hey, I never said
families
don't break up.Copy !req
997. Don't you watch Oprah?Copy !req
998. So it's true.
You're just gonna leave.Copy !req
999. You know,
when they're
through with you,Copy !req
1000. they're just gonna
cut you loose again.Copy !req
1001. I asked to leave.Copy !req
1002. Them boys are
making me soft.Copy !req
1003. Them boys need you.Copy !req
1004. All that hard work they did,
they did for you.Copy !req
1005. They did it
for themselves.Copy !req
1006. Benson.Copy !req
1007. Look, woman.Copy !req
1008. I toured 11 separate
engagements.Copy !req
1009. I didn't do all thatCopy !req
1010. to come back
and be conquered by no woman
and a bunch of kids.Copy !req
1011. What'd you really think
I was gonna do, marry you?Copy !req
1012. Put up
a white picket fence?Copy !req
1013. Adopt Tiger and become
the loving male role model?Copy !req
1014. That's not me.Copy !req
1015. It's not Payne.Copy !req
1016. I can't believe
he actually left.Copy !req
1017. Alex, where
are you going?Copy !req
1018. To the Games.Copy !req
1019. You guys better start
getting ready. We gotta
be there in an hour.Copy !req
1020. We don't have
to go to the Games.
Payne's gone.Copy !req
1021. We don't have a chance
without Payne.Copy !req
1022. Listen.
Payne or no Payne,Copy !req
1023. I'm gonna go out there
and win that stupid trophy.Copy !req
1024. We busted our asses
off out there
getting ready for this.Copy !req
1025. Now I didn't go through
all that to come out
empty-handed.Copy !req
1026. So how about it, guys?Copy !req
1027. Aren't you with me?Copy !req
1028. Sure, I guess.
Yeah.Copy !req
1029. I can't hear you.Copy !req
1030. Sir, yes, sir!Copy !req
1031. Just a little bit
louder now.Copy !req
1032. Sir, yes, sir!Copy !req
1033. One more time,
you maggots.Copy !req
1034. Sir, yes, sir!Copy !req
1035. (ON PA)
Taggert, present arms.Copy !req
1036. Stapleton, present arms.Copy !req
1037. Wellington, present arms.Copy !req
1038. Madison, present arms.Copy !req
1039. Cadets, order arms.Copy !req
1040. Welcome, men,
to Wellington AcademyCopy !req
1041. for the 58th annual
Junior ROTC Virginia
Military Games.Copy !req
1042. This morning,
you are all equal.Copy !req
1043. But by the end of the day
today, we will honor the
finest of you with a trophy,Copy !req
1044. the trophy of a champion.Copy !req
1045. Let the games begin.Copy !req
1046. Good shot, Williams.
I got nothing to say
to you.Copy !req
1047. All right, Fox.
Good going.Copy !req
1048. Yes!Copy !req
1049. Come on, guys!
Maggots, pull!Copy !req
1050. Go, Tiger! Go! Go!Copy !req
1051. I got you!
I got you!Copy !req
1052. I got you now!Copy !req
1053. Benson.Copy !req
1054. On your mark.
Get set.Copy !req
1055. One, sir. Two, sir.Copy !req
1056. Three, sir. Four, sir.
Five, sir. Six, sir.Copy !req
1057. Seven, sir.Copy !req
1058. . . . four, sir. Five, sir.
Six, sir . . .Copy !req
1059. Faster, Heathcoat.
Over the wall. Go! Go!Copy !req
1060. Come on, Heathcoat!
You can do it!
I know you can!Copy !req
1061. Come on!
Move it, Heathcoat.
Move it! Move it!Copy !req
1062. Come on, come on!
See you later, loser.Copy !req
1063. Hurry up!Copy !req
1064. Hey, he just tripped him!Copy !req
1065. The winner
of the relay race
is Wellington Academy.Copy !req
1066. Second place,
Madison Preparatory.Copy !req
1067. Third place, Stapleton.Copy !req
1068. Fourth place, Taggert.Copy !req
1069. All right,
knock it off!Copy !req
1070. Hey, hey, hey,
get off of him!Copy !req
1071. Hold it right there!
Hey, hey, you! You!Copy !req
1072. Knock it off!
Knock it off!Copy !req
1073. I want that man arrested!Copy !req
1074. This is unsatisfactory.Copy !req
1075. I demand that the entire
Madison squad be disqualified
from the final competition!Copy !req
1076. Lieutenant, I can only
disqualify the cadet
who started the disturbance.Copy !req
1077. That's not enough!
Look at 'em!Copy !req
1078. These animals are so pathetic,
their own commander
didn't even bother to show up.Copy !req
1079. There ain't no need
for name-calling.Copy !req
1080. Major Payne.
What are you
doing here?Copy !req
1081. I was told you were on
an important assignment.Copy !req
1082. Well, what could be
more importantCopy !req
1083. than my boys
winning this
here competition?Copy !req
1084. I suggest we get
this party started.Copy !req
1085. Is that okay
with you, Colonel?Copy !req
1086. Cadets, I'm pleased
to announce the two
top-rated squadsCopy !req
1087. who will compete for first
and second place in the
parade drill competition.Copy !req
1088. Wellington Academy
and Madison Academy.Copy !req
1089. Arms, hut!Copy !req
1090. Left face!Copy !req
1091. Ladies and gentlemen,
Wellington Academy.Copy !req
1092. Forward march!Copy !req
1093. Drill leader,
Sergeant Michael Rachmill.Copy !req
1094. Right. Right.Copy !req
1095. All right, gentlemen.
Let's look alive here!
We got trophies to win!Copy !req
1096. Hello,
Mr. Denial.Copy !req
1097. While you were
on vacation,Copy !req
1098. we've been having
some real
problems here.Copy !req
1099. I don't see no problem.
You made it to the finals,
didn't you?Copy !req
1100. Yeah,
no thanks to you.Copy !req
1101. So why did you come back?
We don't need you.Copy !req
1102. Maybe I didn't
come back for you.Copy !req
1103. Why'd you
come back then?Copy !req
1104. Maybe I told myself
that I want to
see you win first placeCopy !req
1105. and ain't gonna
leave until you do.Copy !req
1106. So that's it?
It's all about
the trophy?Copy !req
1107. Maybe I like you.Copy !req
1108. What?Copy !req
1109. Just like?Copy !req
1110. Maybe I like you a lot.Copy !req
1111. That's it?Copy !req
1112. Don't push
the "maybe," baby.Copy !req
1113. Now let's win this thing.Copy !req
1114. We have nobody
to lead the drill.Copy !req
1115. 'Course we do.Copy !req
1116. Who?Copy !req
1117. Tiger.Copy !req
1118. Are you crazy?
What?Copy !req
1119. That's right.Copy !req
1120. That boy know the drill
like the knob
on the back of his head.Copy !req
1121. I can't do it.
I'm too little.Copy !req
1122. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
1123. the Wellington Academy
Drill Team.Copy !req
1124. You need me to
tell you the storyCopy !req
1125. about the
Little Engine That Could
again?Copy !req
1126. Then you get out there
and you toot
that horn, boy.Copy !req
1127. Toot, toot.Copy !req
1128. Ladies and gentlemen,
Madison Preparatory School.Copy !req
1129. Drill Team leader,
Private Kevin "Tiger" Dunne.Copy !req
1130. Bust a move!Copy !req
1131. Now here we are togetherCopy !req
1132. Ready to do whateverCopy !req
1133. We started out as boysCopy !req
1134. Now we're men
And we're making noiseCopy !req
1135. Stand back and step clearCopy !req
1136. Madison cadets
are the ones to fearCopy !req
1137. If you don't believe
Battle us and you will seeCopy !req
1138. Oh, yeah, here we come
Here we come, here we comeCopy !req
1139. Hip-hop, hip-hop
hip-hop hoCopy !req
1140. We can get down
'Cause it's
in our soulsCopy !req
1141. We can get down
'Cause it's in our soulsCopy !req
1142. Hit me with a one, twoCopy !req
1143. One, twoCopy !req
1144. Hit me with
a three, fourCopy !req
1145. Three, fourCopy !req
1146. One, two, three, fourCopy !req
1147. One, two, three, fourCopy !req
1148. Mark time, march!Copy !req
1149. Present arms.Copy !req
1150. Forward march.Copy !req
1151. Order arms!Copy !req
1152. Philly stomp.Copy !req
1153. Ho!Copy !req
1154. One, two, three!Copy !req
1155. Get down on the hip-hopCopy !req
1156. Get down and get funky
and you don't stopCopy !req
1157. What, do that, do thatCopy !req
1158. Go, TigerCopy !req
1159. Do that, do that
Get down, do that, do thatCopy !req
1160. Go, Tiger, do that, do that
Get down, do thatCopy !req
1161. Do that, go, TigerCopy !req
1162. Do that, do thatCopy !req
1163. Get down
Do that, do thatCopy !req
1164. Go, TigerCopy !req
1165. Salute.Copy !req
1166. Madison Preparatory School.Copy !req
1167. Company, atten-hut!Copy !req
1168. Sir, squad is formed, sir.Copy !req
1169. Post.Copy !req
1170. My name
is Major Benson
Winifred Payne!Copy !req
1171. I'd like to be
the first
to welcome youCopy !req
1172. to the Madison School.Copy !req
1173. What we've tried
to develop hereCopy !req
1174. is a family environment.Copy !req
1175. One of trust
and understanding.Copy !req
1176. I'd like for you to think
of me not only as
your commanding officerCopy !req
1177. but as your friend.Copy !req
1178. And what the hell is that?Copy !req
1179. He's mine.Copy !req
1180. That a boy. Sit.Copy !req
1181. Good boy.Copy !req
1182. You know, there ain't no
pets allowed on these here
premises, Mr. Ace Ventura.Copy !req
1183. Yeah, well, maybe
that doesn't
apply to me.Copy !req
1184. He's my blind
seeing-eye dog.Copy !req
1185. What in the world
would anybody want
with a blind dog?Copy !req
1186. The dog ain't blind.Copy !req
1187. I'm the one
that's blind,
you idiot.Copy !req
1188. Oh, I see
you and your friend
Cujo hereCopy !req
1189. got a little
attitudinal problem,Copy !req
1190. needs some readjusting.Copy !req
1191. Well, I'm gonna
fix that up quick,
fast and in a hurry.Copy !req
1192. Hey, Corporal.Copy !req
1193. Go tell Mama
to bring
my field knife.Copy !req