- 1. In The New York Herald,
November 26, year 1911...
- 2. there is an account of the
hanging of three men.
- 3. They died for the murder of
Sir Edmund William Godfrey...
- 4. husband, father, pharmacist, and
all-around gentleman resident...
- 5. of Greenberry Hill, London.
- 6. He was murdered by three vagrants
whose motive was simple robbery.
- 7. They were identified
as Joseph Green...
- 8. Stanley Berry...
- 9. and Daniel Hill.
- 10. Green, Berry, Hill.
- 11. And I would like to think this
was only a matter of chance.
- 12. As reported in the Reno
Gazette, June of 1983...
- 13. there is the story of a fire...
- 14. the water that it took
to contain the fire...
- 15. and a scuba diver
named Delmer Darion.
- 16. Employee of the Nugget Hotel
and Casino, Reno, Nevada...
- 17. engaged as a blackjack dealer,
well-liked and well-regarded...
- 18. as a physical, recreational,
and sporting sort...
- 19. Delmer's true passion
was for the lake.
- 20. As reported by the coroner,
Delmer died of a heart attack...
- 21. somewhere between the
lake and the tree...
- 22. but most curious side note is the
suicide the next day of Craig Hansen...
- 23. volunteer firefighter,
estranged father of four...
- 24. and a poor tendency to drink. Mr.
Hansen was the pilot of the plane...
- 25. that quite accidentally lifted
Delmer Darion out of the water.
- 26. Added to this, Mr.
Hansen's tortured life...
- 27. met before with Delmer Darion
just two nights previous.
- 28. All I need is a two.
- 29. All you need is a deuce.
- 30. That is an eight.
- 31. Glad you like my work. All right.
Moment of truth—
- 32. The weight of the guilt and the
measure of coincidence so large...
- 33. Craig Hansen took his life.
- 34. And I am trying to think this was
all only a matter of chance.
- 35. The tale told at a
1961 awards dinner...
- 36. for the American Association
of Forensic Science...
- 37. by Dr. John Harper, president
of the association...
- 38. began with a simple
- 39. Curiosity.
- 40. Seventeen-year-old
- 41. in the city of Los Angeles
on March 23rd, 1958.
- 42. The coroner ruled that the
- 43. had suddenly become a
- 44. To explain, the suicide was
confirmed by a note...
- 45. in the right hip pocket
of Sydney Barringer.
- 46. At the same time young Sydney stood on
the ledge of this nine-story building...
- 47. an argument swelled
three stories below.
- 48. The neighbors heard, as they usually
did, the arguing of the tenants...
- 49. and it was not uncommon for them to
threaten each other with a shotgun...
- 50. or one of the many
handguns in the house.
- 51. I'm gonna put you down!
- 52. And when the shotgun
accidentally went off...
- 53. You asshole!
- 54. Sydney just happened to pass.
- 55. What?
- 56. Shut the fuck up!
- 57. Added to this, the two
tenants turned out to be...
- 58. Faye and Arthur Barringer...
- 59. Sydney's mother and
- 60. When confronted
with the charge...
- 61. which took some figuring out for the
officers on the scene of the crime...
- 62. Faye Barringer swore she did
not know the gun was loaded.
- 63. I didn't know.
- 64. She always threatens me with the
gun, but I don't keep it loaded.
- 65. And you didn't load the gun?
- 66. Why would I load the gun?
- 67. A boy who lived in
- 68. sometimes a visitor and
friend to Sydney Barringer...
- 69. said that he had seen, six days
prior, the loading of the shotgun.
- 70. Ricky, come here a minute.
- 71. It seems that all the
arguing and fighting...
- 72. and all of the violence was far
too much for Sydney Barringer...
- 73. and knowing his mother and
father's tendency to fight...
- 74. he decided to do something.
- 75. He said that he wanted
them to kill each other...
- 76. and that's all that they wanted
to do, kill each other...
- 77. and that he would help them do
that if that's what they wanted.
- 78. Sydney Barringer jumps from
the ninth-floor rooftop.
- 79. His parents argue
three stories below.
- 80. Her accidental shotgun blast
hits Sydney in the stomach...
- 81. as he passes the arguing
- 82. He is killed instantly,
but continues to fall...
- 83. only to find, five stories below, a
safety net installed three days prior...
- 84. for window washers that
would've broken his fall...
- 85. and saved his life if not for
the hole in his stomach.
- 86. So Faye Barringer was charged
with the murder of her son...
- 87. and Sydney Barringer noted as
an accomplice in his own death.
- 88. And it is in the humble
opinion of this narrator...
- 89. that this is not just
something that happened.
- 90. This cannot be one
of those things.
- 91. This, please, cannot be that.
- 92. And for what I would
like to say, I can't.
- 93. This was not just a matter of chance.
- 94. These strange things
happen all the time.
- 95. In this big game that we play,
life, it's not what you hope for.
- 96. It's not what you deserve.
It's what you take.
- 97. I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a
master of the muffin...
- 98. and author of Seduce
- 99. now available to you on
audio and video cassette.
- 100. Seduce and Destroy will
teach you the techniques...
- 101. to have any hard-body blonde...
- 102. just dripping to wet your dock.
- 103. Bottom line?
- 104. The magical key to unlocking
the female analytical mindset.
- 105. Tap directly into her
hopes, her wants...
- 106. her fears, her desires, and
her sweet little panties.
- 107. Learn how to make that lady
"friend" your sex-starved servant.
- 108. Seduce and Destroy produces an
instant, money-back guaranteed...
- 109. trance-like state
that will get you...
- 110. Hey.
- 111. Naughty sauce you want fast.
- 112. Hey, how many more times...
- 113. do you need to hear the
- 114. So?
- 115. "I just don't feel
that way about you"?
- 116. For over 30 years,
America has hung out...
- 117. and answered questions
with Jimmy Gator.
- 118. An American legend and a
true television icon...
- 119. Jimmy celebrates his 12,000th
hour of broadcast this week.
- 120. Have I been around that long?
- 121. He's a family man who's been
married for over 40 years...
- 122. with two children and one bouncing
baby grandchild on the way.
- 123. We've tuned in each day to
see the human interaction...
- 124. between Jimmy and some
very special kids...
- 125. and we hope there's 30 more
years of watching that happen.
- 126. I'm Jimmy Gator.
- 127. Donald W. Winnicott. 1911. North America.
- 128. The answer is four. The answer is 22.
- 129. The answer is The Life
of Samuel Johnson.
- 130. I don't care what your
last bank statement is.
- 131. Let's go. You should have
done that 10 minutes ago.
- 132. - We need more dog food.
- Talk in the car.
- 133. - Look, I got a serious audition today.
- Are you lonely?
- 134. - That one too?
- I need this one.
- 135. Well, let me tell you.
- 136. I don't understand why you need
four bags of books to go to school.
- 137. There's no reason for
this many backpacks.
- 138. - Be ready at 2:00.
- 139. I told you I got an audition.
I won't be here till 2:00.
- 140. Get your stuff. Come on.
Gotta go. Love you.
- 141. - Love you too.
- 142. Donnie, do you have an answer?
- 143. I do, Jimmy. Prometheus.
- 144. It is!
- 145. Donnie, how does it feel?
- 146. It's pretty exciting. Bet you don't get
many people my age getting braces.
- 147. You were so cute
on that game show.
- 148. Bet you can't answer any questions
now, though, huh? Ha, ha!
- 149. - So we're all set to go, Donnie.
- 150. - I'll see you tomorrow morning.
- 151. - Bye.
- You're running around like crazy.
- 152. I'm gonna be late for work.
- 153. Hey.
- 154. It's the Quiz Kid, Donnie Smith.
- 155. Hello, hello.
- 156. - How's today, then?
- Fucking bullshit is what this is.
- 157. Fucking regrets.
- 158. And we do these things,
move through this life.
- 159. I'm gonna need your help, Phil. You
got to help me on something today.
- 160. I'll take care. Anything, Earl.
- 161. Well, you're his doctor,
and that's why.
- 162. Tell me something.
Tell me something.
- 163. He needs more pills. He
needs more— Fuck it.
- 164. He needs more pills, and
I need some answers...
- 165. so I'm coming to see you.
- 166. Morning, Linda.
- 167. I love you, my darling.
- 168. I'll be back in a while, Phil.
I have to do some things...
- 169. and I have to see something,
and I'll be back.
- 170. Fuck.
- 171. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
- 172. Press one to hear...
- 173. this person's personal
description of themselves...
- 174. and two to leave a personal
message of your own.
- 175. Well, hello. This is Jim. I
work in law enforcement.
- 176. I'm an officer for the LAPD...
- 177. and work out of the North
- 178. I love my job, and I love
to go to the movies.
- 179. I try to stay physically fit.
My job demands it.
- 180. I'm getting up there, though.
- 181. "I'm 32 years old, and I'm 6'2"
tall, and I weigh about 180...
- 182. if that's important to you.
- 183. I'm really interested in meeting someone
special who likes quiet things.
- 184. My life is very stressful, and I hope to
have a relationship that is very calm...
- 185. and undemanding and loving...
- 186. so if you are this person, please
leave me a message at box number 82.
- 187. Thank you.
- 188. So much violence...
- 189. but that's the way of the world.
Good luck, as always.
- 190. Serve and protect and all that other
blah, blah, blah on the side of the car.
- 191. Let me tell you something.
- 192. This is not an easy job.
- 193. I get a call on the
radio from Dispatch.
- 194. It's bad news.
- 195. And it stinks.
- 196. But this is my job,
and I love it...
- 197. because I wanna do well.
- 198. In this life and in this
world, I wanna do well...
- 199. and I wanna help people.
- 200. And I might get 20
bad calls a day...
- 201. but one time I can help
someone, I make a save...
- 202. I correct a wrong or
right a situation...
- 203. then I'm a happy cop.
- 204. And we move through this life,
we should try and do good.
- 205. Do good.
- 206. And if we can do that...
- 207. and not hurt anyone else...
- 208. well, then...
- 209. Hello? I turn around,
- 210. - Whoa! Slow down.
- You can't just come in here.
- 211. - The door was open.
- You not allowed to come in.
- 212. - Calm down.
- I am calm!
- 213. I got a call to this apartment,
report of a disturbance.
- 214. There's no disturbance.
- 215. I got a call of a disturbance.
I wanna see what's going on.
- 216. - Yeah, but there's no disturbance.
- Then you got nothing to worry about.
- 217. You don't tell me. I know my rights.
Just come right in. You can't just...
- 218. All right, ma'am,
you wanna test me?
- 219. All right? You wanna tell me about
the law book, we can do that.
- 220. You push me far enough, I
will take you to jail.
- 221. - Okay? Now calm yourself down.
- I am calm!
- 222. No. You are not calm.
You're screaming at me.
- 223. Do you understand?
- 224. I got a call of a disturbance,
and I'm going to check it out.
- 225. That is what I'm going to do.
- 226. - Are you alone in here?
- I ain't got to answer your questions.
- 227. No, you don't, but I'm gonna
ask you one more time.
- 228. - Are you alone in here?
- What does it look like?
- 229. - There's no one else in here?
- You in here.
- 230. Okay. That's true, but
is there anyone else...
- 231. besides me and besides
you in this house?
- 232. - No. I said that already.
- 233. - Are you lying to me?
- I live by myself.
- 234. That might be true, but the
question I'm asking you, ma'am...
- 235. ls there anyone else in
this house right now?
- 236. - No.
- 237. - What is your name?
- 238. Okay. Marcie, I'm gonna need
you to take a seat here.
- 239. - I prefer to stand up.
- Okay. I'm not asking.
- 240. - I didn't even do nothing.
- Move, ma'am.
- 241. Okay. So, like I was saying, I'm
here to check on a disturbance.
- 242. Now, some of your neighbors heard
screaming and a loud crash.
- 243. - I don't even know no loud crash.
- Okay, what—?
- 244. - What was that?
- 245. - Sit back down on the couch.
- I ain't gotta do a goddamn thing.
- 246. - What's this bullshit?
- Do not do this.
- 247. - Do not do this. Do not slap me, ma'am.
- This is bullshit. This is bullshit.
- 248. This is bullshit. For what? For what?
For what? Huh? Tell me for what.
- 249. No, tell me for what.
- 250. - I asked you to sit on the couch.
- This is bullshit.
- 251. This is bullshit. This
is fucking bullshit.
- 252. 15-L-27, I'm gonna need backup.
- 253. What the fuck is this? It's
- 254. - I want you to stay right there.
- Fucking bullshit, and you know it!
- 255. - Stay right there, Marcie.
- Don't you go in my bedroom!
- 256. This is bullshit, motherfucker!
Don't go down the hallway!
- 257. Don't go down my
- 258. This is the LAPD!
- 259. Don't go in my goddamn bedroom!
- 260. Come out now with your hands up!
- 261. What did I tell you?
Ain't nobody in there!
- 262. Where the fuck you
- 263. Don't go in my goddamn bedroom!
- 264. Stay out of my motherfucking closet!
What did I tell you?
- 265. - Don't go down my hallway!
- This is the police!
- 266. If there is anyone in
this closet, come out...
- 267. and show yourself to me
now, with your hands up.
- 268. Marcie, do not drag
that couch any further!
- 269. Don't do this, ma'am!
- 270. There's nobody in my
- 271. If I have to open this
closet, you will get shot!
- 272. Come back here! Come
back here, motherfucker!
- 273. What can't you goddamn
fucking talk to me?
- 274. - There's nobody in there! I told you!
- Marcie, quiet down!
- 275. This don't make no fucking sense!
This don't make no goddamn sense!
- 276. This is bullshit, motherfucker!
- 277. Why can't you talk to me?
- 278. Whoa! Whoa-ho!
- 279. What the hell is this, Marcie?
- 280. That ain't mine.
- 281. He's dying. He's fucking
dying as we're sitting here.
- 282. There's not a fucking...
- 283. Jesus, how can you
tell me to calm down?
- 284. I can help you through this,
but there's certain things...
- 285. you're gonna have to take care
of, and we can go over them...
- 286. but I need to know that
you're listening to me, okay?
- 287. I'm— I'm in a fucking state. It's
like he's going, and I don't—
- 288. Just tell me practical things, like
what the fuck do I do with his body?
- 289. What do I do when he dies? What next?
What happens then? What next?
- 290. That's what Hospice
can take care of.
- 291. They'll send over a
nurse, somebody who—
- 292. No. Phil. He has Phil now.
- 293. - Phil is one of the nurses from the service?
- 294. If you're happy with Phil taking care
of him and helping you, that's fine...
- 295. but contact Hospice to
arrange for the body.
- 296. You don't understand. It's—
- 297. There's more pain than before, and the
fucking morphine pills aren't working...
- 298. and it's like— The past two
days, he can't really swallow...
- 299. and I, um— I don't know if
the pills are going down.
- 300. I can't see inside his mouth anymore,
and I'm up all night staring at him...
- 301. and I don't know if the pills are
going down. He moans and he hurts.
- 302. We can fix that, because
I can give you—
- 303. Are you listening?
- 304. - Yeah. I'm listening. I'm getting better.
- Do you wanna sit down?
- 305. I need to sit down.
- 306. Okay, Linda, Earl's
not gonna make it.
- 307. He's dying. He is. He's
dying very, very rapidly.
- 308. The thing here is to
make this experience...
- 309. as painless and easy
for him as possible.
- 310. You understand?
- 311. Now, Hospice will take care
of all the technical things.
- 312. They will help you. They
will take care of the body.
- 313. They are who you
call when he dies.
- 314. There's the number of Hospice.
- 315. Okay. Now, as far as the
morphine pills go...
- 316. there's something
else to consider.
- 317. There's a very strong, very potent
solution of liquid morphine...
- 318. and it's a little bottle.
It has an eyedropper.
- 319. It's easy to get into his mouth
and drop on his tongue...
- 320. and it will certainly diminish
the pain that he's in.
- 321. But you need to realize that,
uh, once you give it to him...
- 322. there really is no going back.
- 323. It will certainly cure his pain, but he
will drift in and out of consciousness...
- 324. even worse than he is now, Linda.
- 325. All sign of the recognizable
Earl will pretty much go away.
- 326. L— What the fuck can I say to—?
I don't know what to say to that.
- 327. I don't want to do this.
- 328. Sit here.
- 329. I can see the things, you know.
- 330. It's getting there,
that's the cocksucker.
- 331. I see that pen.
- 332. I see it. I know it's there.
- 333. I reach for it.
- 334. No.
- 335. No. No goddamn use.
- 336. I have a son, you know.
- 337. - You do?
- 338. - Where is he?
- I don't know.
- 339. I mean...
- 340. he's around, but...
- 341. He's here in town,
but I don't know.
- 342. You know...
- 343. he's a tough one.
- 344. Very...
- 345. - Got a girlfriend, Phil?
- 346. - Get a girlfriend.
- I'm trying.
- 347. Do good things with her.
Share the things.
- 348. - All that bullshit is true, you know.
- 349. Find a good one, hold
on, and all that.
- 350. Where's Linda?
- 351. She went out. She, uh, said she
went out to run some errands.
- 352. - She'll be back.
- 353. - She's a good girl.
- 354. She's a little nuts. Heh. But
she's a good girl, I think. Yeah.
- 355. - She's a little daffy. Yeah.
- 356. She loves you.
- 357. Well, maybe.
- 358. - Yeah.
- 359. She is a good one.
- 360. When's the last time you
talked to your son?
- 361. I don't know.
- 362. Ten.
- 363. Maybe ten... Five...
- 364. Fuck.
- 365. Fuck.
- 366. That's another thing that goes.
- 367. - Your memory?
- Time lines, you know?
- 368. I can remember things,
but not right there.
- 369. - You know?
- 370. "Yeah"? What the
fuck do you know?
- 371. - I've seen it before.
- Oh, other fucking assholes like me?
- 372. - Ah, there's no asshole like you.
- 373. How come every word you use is either
cocksucker, shit balls, or fuck?
- 374. - Do me a personal favor.
- Go fuck myself.
- 375. - You got it.
- Ha, ha.
- 376. I can't...
- 377. I can't hold on to
this any longer.
- 378. - I'll get another pill. Another morphine pill.
- No. Give me the fucking phone.
- 379. - Who you gonna call?
- I wanna see this. L, uh—
- 380. - Where is he? Do you know?
- 381. - Jack.
- Is Jack your son?
- 382. Do you want to call him on the phone?
I can call him.
- 383. I can dial the number if you
can remember the number.
- 384. It's not him.
- 385. It's not him. He's
a fucking asshole.
- 386. Oh, Phil, come here.
This is so boring.
- 387. So goddamn... Goddamn...
- 388. You know, that dying wish...
- 389. and all that old man on a bed...
- 390. - Wants one thing.
- It's okay.
- 391. Find him on a...
- 392. Frank.
- 393. His name is Frank Mackey.
- 394. - Frank Mackey?
- 395. That's your son?
- 396. Not my name.
- 397. Go find...
- 398. Find Lily.
- 399. Give me that. Give me.
- 400. Give me— if you give me that...
- 401. over there on, uh...
- 402. Oh. Fuck. I can't
hold on to this.
- 403. I got it. I got it.
- 404. Yeah.
- 405. Ah.
- 406. Respect the cock.
- 407. And tame the cunt.
- 408. Tame it.
- 409. Take it on headfirst with the skills
that I will teach you at work...
- 410. - and say, "No."
- 411. - You will not control me. No!
- 412. - You will not take my soul. No!
- 413. You will not win this game.
- 414. Because it is a game, guys. You
wanna think it's not, huh?
- 415. You go back to the schoolyard...
- 416. and you have that crush
on big-titted Mary Jane.
- 417. Respect the cock.
- 418. You are embedding this thought:
- 419. - I am the one who's in charge.
- 420. - I am the one who says, "Yes."
- 421. - "No."
- 422. - "Now."
- 423. "Here."
- 424. Because it's universal, man.
- 425. It is evolutional. It
- 426. - It is biological.
- 427. It is animal.
- 428. We...
- 429. are...
- 430. men.
- 431. You need to ask yourself
what you can do...
- 432. - You Gwenovier?
- 433. I'm Captain Muffy,
- 434. - This is Doc. We can go in right here.
- Sorry I'm late.
- 435. He started about
35 minutes ago...
- 436. but he's probably getting
all pumped up right now.
- 437. Look down at the top of the page. At
the top of the page, what does it say?
- 438. - "Get a calendar."
- Right. I cannot stress this enough.
- 439. It's a simple item. It's 99
cents at the corner store.
- 440. But if you look into your packs,
reach deep into your packs...
- 441. you will see that I have been
nice enough to include one. See?
- 442. Yeah, yeah. That's just
the kind of prick I am.
- 443. You're gonna need this calendar.
It doesn't seem like much.
- 444. It's a simple item.
It is a small item...
- 445. but it is going to make all
the difference in your world.
- 446. You meet a girl, work
an A-3 interruption.
- 447. Let's say an eight-day waiting
period before next contact.
- 448. How are you gonna know when
those eight days are up?
- 449. Mark the calendar.
- 450. That's right. Mark the calendar.
You're gonna mark that calendar.
- 451. You're going to stick with
me and this calendar.
- 452. You're gonna set goals.
- 453. If you really, really wanna make
that friend something else...
- 454. you're gonna have to
be tough on yourself.
- 455. You're gonna have to set goals.
- 456. Uh, you, sir, in the, uh,
brown short-sleeve shirt.
- 457. I can't read your name tag.
What's your name, please?
- 458. - Hello.
- Hi, uh, is Frank there?
- 459. - No, you have the wrong number.
- 460. I'm sorry. I'm looking
for a Frank Mackey.
- 461. Yeah, no, there's no Frank here.
- 462. Is this, um, 818-775-3993?
- 463. Yeah. No, you have
the wrong number.
- 464. Do you know a Jack,
by any chance?
- 465. Just a regular deal.
Loosers and tighters.
- 466. - We're all set upstairs.
- And then she called me up...
- 467. and she asked me for
advice about a guy.
- 468. - Got everything you need?
- All set, thanks.
- 469. Does she know how you feel about her?
Have you discussed that?
- 470. Yes. Absolutely.
- 471. And what does she say?
- 472. She says she doesn't
feel that way about me.
- 473. I don't think there's anyone in this room
that doesn't understand that pain...
- 474. and I wanna thank you for
sharing that with us.
- 475. Let me tell you what we're gonna teach
Denise when we set goals, all right?
- 476. What I say is, "Denise."
- 477. Denise the Piece."
- 478. I mark it down. Oh,
I write it up.
- 479. And you have been warned...
- 480. because I have my lasers...
- 481. I have my Tasers, I
have my lCBMs...
- 482. I have my bazookas, I have my
jets pointed right at you.
- 483. Because me and my brothers,
we like to celebrate...
- 484. and on the first of May,
we celebrate V-Day.
- 485. And come June, oh, baby, it
is the lick of my spoon.
- 486. Come August, we like
- 487. Saint Suck My Big Fat
- 488. I set goals for myself...
- 489. and when I say I do not
wanna take it anymore...
- 490. I will not take it anymore.
- 491. You think she's your friend, Geoff?
You think she's your friend?
- 492. They're not your friends.
- 493. Do you really think she's gonna
be there when things go bad?
- 494. Huh, guys? When things go wrong, do you
think they're gonna be there for us?
- 495. Ho-ho, you think again.
- 496. Oh, fucking Denise,
Denise the Piece...
- 497. you are gonna give me that
cherry pie, sweet mama baby.
- 498. Oh, yeah, but listen up. That is not to say
that we don't all need females as friends.
- 499. We're gonna learn later that having a
couple of chick friends lying around...
- 500. comes in real handy in setting jealousy
traps. We'll get to that later.
- 501. Right now, what I want you guys to do is
pull out your blue booklets, page 18.
- 502. We're going quickly. We're
gonna workshop it later.
- 503. Eighteen, blue booklet.
- 504. "Form A Tragedy."
- 505. This is simple and clean,
and if done correctly...
- 506. can be very, very effective
in getting some bush.
- 507. Here we go. You call up your
so-called friend and set a date.
- 508. Let's say make it around 7:30.
You call her on the phone.
- 509. Hello?
- 510. Hi. Uh, is Claudia here?
- 511. She's sleeping.
- 512. Are you—? Are you
- 513. You're Jimmy Gator, right?
- 514. That's right. What's your name?
- 515. I'm Ray.
- 516. - So are you her boyfriend?
- No, I'm just a friend.
- 517. I see.
- 518. - Ha, ha, what are you doing here? I mean—
- I'm her father.
- 519. Mind if I come in?
- 520. - Yeah, sure.
- 521. What the fuck is this?
It's me, Claudia. It's me.
- 522. What do you want?
Why are you here?
- 523. I'd like to talk to you. Uh, your
boyfriend let me in. I just—
- 524. That's not my boyfriend.
- 525. - Wanna call me a slut now or something?
- No, I don't.
- 526. What the fuck do you want?
- 527. - I wanna sit. I wanna talk to you.
- Don't sit down.
- 528. I want to, uh— God, I
want so many things.
- 529. - Maybe we could talk—
- I don't wanna talk to you.
- 530. - There's things I have to talk to you about.
- I don't want to talk to you.
- 531. That's all right. It
doesn't have to be now.
- 532. We can make a date to
set some other time.
- 533. I didn't mean to walk
in on you like this.
- 534. Why are you here? Why are you doing this?
Coming in here?
- 535. - You wanna call me a whore?
- No, I— Claudia...
- 536. I don't want you to think
I'm that way to you.
- 537. - I'm not gonna call you a slut or something.
- Yeah, ha, ha. Yeah, right.
- 538. What are you doing here?
- 539. What the fuck are you
doing in my house?
- 540. Please don't yell, honey.
Just don't go crazy.
- 541. I'm not crazy! Don't you
tell me that I'm crazy!
- 542. Claudia, I'm sick.
I'm sick, Claudia.
- 543. - Fuck you.
- No, no, please, listen to me.
- 544. - Fuck you!
- Listen to me right now, Claudia.
- 545. I am dying.
- 546. I got sick, and
then I fell down—
- 547. Fuck you! Get the
fuck out of my house.
- 548. I'm dying. I have
- 549. I have cancer.
- 550. - And I'm dying very soon.
- Fuck you.
- 551. - It's metastasized in my bones.
- Fuck you!
- 552. Claudia, it's... I'm not lying to you.
This is the truth.
- 553. I'm telling you, Claudia,
I'm going to lose.
- 554. Get out.
- 555. Get out! Get the
fuck out of here!
- 556. - Get out! Go!
- Your mother would like to hear from you.
- 557. Fuck you. Get out!
- 558. Get the fuck out
of my house now!
- 559. Get out!
- 560. Keep your body running good.
- 561. Prevention is everything.
- 562. If you don't maintain
it, I'll be fixing it.
- 563. Keep fit. Stay healthy.
- 564. If your car is running good,
take it to Jiffy Lube...
- 565. and they offer Pennzoil.
- 566. Prevention.
- 567. It's worth it.
- 568. Hey, you don't wanna see me.
- 569. Don.
- 570. Hey, Avi.
- 571. Just one sec.
- 572. Say goodbye to the plastered-down
look of heavy hairspray...
- 573. and hello to the
- 574. - Please.
- Don't, Donnie. Don't do this.
- 575. This is so fucked, Solomon!
I don't deserve this!
- 576. Don't get strong, Donnie.
This is making sense.
- 577. This is making a lot of sense.
- 578. You are not doing the job.
The job I ask you to do.
- 579. A job I give you.
- 580. Over and over and over.
- 581. I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna
say "I'm sorry" much more.
- 582. I don't have any money, Solomon.
If you fire me—
- 583. I pay you. I give
you a paycheck.
- 584. Your sales suck, Don.
- 585. I give. I give.
- 586. When I find you, when
I meet you, what?
- 587. I put your name up on
a fucking billboard.
- 588. I put you in my store.
- 589. My fucking representation of
Solomon Solomon Electronic.
- 590. The Quiz Kid, Donnie
Smith, from the game show.
- 591. I lent you my celebrity, my name.
- 592. Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. I paid you!
I paid you!
- 593. I gave you a fucking chance, and a chance,
over and over, and you let me down!
- 594. I trust you with so much!
- 595. Keys to my store. The codes to my locks.
The life and blood of my business.
- 596. In return, you
smash in 7-Eleven!
- 597. And late! Always late! Loans!
- 598. The loans for your kitchen
that you never did.
- 599. I paid you back!
- 600. Two years! Two years later,
and from your paycheck!
- 601. I never charged interest.
- 602. Solomon, please. Please.
- 603. I am so fucked here
if you do this.
- 604. This is the worst timing. The worst
timing I could ever imagine.
- 605. I need to keep working.
- 606. I have so many debts,
so many things.
- 607. I have— I have— I have—
I have my surgery.
- 608. - My oral surgery coming.
- What surgery?
- 609. Oral surgery. Corrective
- 610. - What is that?
- 611. - You don't need braces.
- Yes, I do.
- 612. Your teeth are straight.
I need surgery!
- 613. I need corrective oral surgery.
- 614. Donnie, you got struck by
lightning that time in Tahoe.
- 615. I don't think braces
is a good idea.
- 616. Solomon, just let me
ask you once, please.
- 617. Please don't do this.
- 618. How are you paying for the braces?
I don't know.
- 619. Well, that's just incredible.
How much are braces, anyway?
- 620. It's, uh... it doesn't matter.
- 621. - It's, like, $5000. I've seen it. I know.
- Now you're pissing me off.
- 622. This is incredible.
This is fucking stupid.
- 623. You're paying $5000 for
braces you don't need?
- 624. - I've been a good worker.
- 625. - No need for braces.
- Where are you gonna get the money?
- 626. - I don't know.
- You were going to ask me.
- 627. - I have been a good worker.
- No need for braces, Donnie.
- 628. That is none of your business!
- 629. I've been a good and loyal worker
for you, you fucking assholes!
- 630. - Hey, fuck you. Watch it, now.
- Give me your keys.
- 631. - No, don't—
- Give me your fucking keys!
- 632. Identified as Porter
Parker, age 59...
- 633. better known as the
dead guy in the closet.
- 634. Says the building guy,
this is her husband.
- 635. He comes around,
raises some shit...
- 636. screaming and yelling something.
- 637. There's a son and a kid.
- 638. - Her son?
- Her son. That's right. And the kid.
- 639. They were here, and
from late last night...
- 640. and through the morning,
screaming and yelling.
- 641. - Where are they?
- They are not to be found.
- 642. She's got $600 and a large box
of condoms next to the bed.
- 643. - She was real belligerent—
Three wedding rings.
- 644. Guys coming in and out all day.
This is the building guy talking.
- 645. Building guy says the son and the
closet guy are always going at it.
- 646. - And what is she saying?
- Not a goddamn thing.
- 647. Thanks, Randy. Whoa!
- 648. How much you pay me for my help?
- 649. It's more complicated
than that, little man.
- 650. Put me on the payroll and find out.
Find out what's up.
- 651. Okay, you don't just sign
up to be a police officer.
- 652. - It's about three years of training, okay?
- I'm trained. I'm ready to go.
- 653. - You wanna buy some candy to help—?
- No. No, sorry, little man.
- 654. You wanna take my statement?
I'll perform for you.
- 655. - Gotta get paid, though. Gotta get paid.
- 656. Why aren't you in school today?
- 657. No school today. My
teacher got sick.
- 658. Oh, you don't have substitute
teachers where you go to school?
- 659. No. So, what did they
find out in there?
- 660. That is confidential
information, little man.
- 661. Tell me what you know.
I'll tell you what I know.
- 662. No can do.
- 663. Leave this one to the detectives,
they ain't gonna solve shit.
- 664. I can help you. Make you
the man with the plan.
- 665. Give you the gift that I flow.
- 666. - You wanna know who killed that guy?
- Okay. You come here.
- 667. - No.
- Come here.
- 668. You wanna disrespect
an officer of the law?
- 669. I can help you solve the case.
I can tell you who did it.
- 670. Oh, you're a joker, huh?
Telling me jokes?
- 671. - I'm a rapper.
- Oh, you're a rapper. Oh, okay.
- 672. - You got a record contract?
- Not yet.
- 673. Give you a clue for the bust
if you show me some trust.
- 674. You ever been to juvenile hall?
- 675. I ain't fucking with you!
- 676. Hey, watch the mouth. Watch it.
- 677. Come on, man, just watch me.
- 678. Watch and listen.
- 679. Okay.
- 680. Presence With the
double-ass-meaning gifts I bestow
- 681. With my riff and my flow But
you don't hear me, though
- 682. Think fast, catch me, yo
- 683. 'Cause I throw what I
know With a resonance
- 684. For your trouble-ass fiend
In weaning yourself
- 685. Off of the back of the shelf
- 686. Jackass crackers, body-stackers
- 687. Dick-tooting niggers
Masturbating your triggers
- 688. Hold it, homeboy. I don't
need to hear that word.
- 689. Living to get older With
a chip on your shoulder
- 690. Except you think you got a grip
'Cause your hip got a holster
- 691. Ain't no confessor, so, buster,
you better just shut the fuck up
- 692. Try to listen and learn
- 693. Whoa, cut it, Coolio. I've had enough
of the mouth and the language.
- 694. I'm almost done.
- 695. Finish it up without the lip.
- 696. Check that ego Come off
it, I'm the prophet
- 697. The professor I'm gonna
teach you about the Worm
- 698. Who eventually turned to catch wreck
With the neck of a long-time oppressor
- 699. And he's running from the devil
But the debt is always gaining
- 700. And if he's worth being hurt
He's worth bringing pain in
- 701. When the sunshine don't work The
good Lord bring the rain in
- 702. Now, that shit will help
you solve the case.
- 703. Okay. Whatever that meant.
- 704. I'm sure it's real
- 705. Did you listen to me?
- 706. I was listening to you.
- 707. I told you who did it, and
you're not even listening to me.
- 708. I'm through playing games.
- 709. Be cool. Stay in school, okay?
- 710. Get out of the street now.
- 711. Move it.
- 712. - Come on, let's go.
- You're late, not me.
- 713. You could have been in front. I
didn't see you from the window.
- 714. Well, you— Why didn't you just, uh—?
I don't know.
- 715. You could have come in the front.
I don't know. Hurry up.
- 716. - All right, you ready to keep winning?
- 717. You okay?
- 718. Busted my ankle there.
- 719. You gotta have that makeup
lady fix your hair.
- 720. - Okay.
- Okay? It's really wet.
- 721. - There you are. There you are.
- I'm sorry we're late, Cynthia.
- 722. - Oh, that's all right.
- We got caught in traffic.
- 723. - Your book is okay. How you doing?
- I'm fine.
- 724. Yeah? Yeah, you ready
to go, go, go?
- 725. Know anybody involved in
that Alan Thicke thing?
- 726. The Corey Haim thing?
Terrorist in the high school?
- 727. - Uh, no.
- Where's Richard and Julia?
- 728. Oh, good. Um, they're here.
- 729. They're in the dressing
room, so we're all set.
- 730. - Okay. See you later.
- You go to it, handsome.
- 731. - See you.
- Okay, buddy, love you.
- 732. - Good luck, Rick.
- Hey, Peter.
- 733. Dick, Dick. I'm sorry. Dick.
- 734. Fuck. Can't get
that fucking name.
- 735. - Who's ready to beat the record?
- That was close.
- 736. - It's cats and fucking dogs out there.
- Cats and dogs indeed.
- 737. I've never seen it rain
this bad since last year...
- 738. because of La Nina or El
Nino or whatever the shit.
- 739. Sorry I'm late.
- 740. - What was your name again?
- Amy, Mr. Jennings.
- 741. Call me D.J. You said Amy, right?
- 742. Trust me, you know.
But stay focused.
- 743. Where's the news department?
- 744. - It's upstairs.
- Have you ever been there?
- 745. Oh, sure. Why?
- 746. I was wondering about
the weather department.
- 747. - Uh-huh.
- I was wonder whether the weather people...
- 748. have outside
- 749. or if they have
- 750. Um, I can check on that, and
later we can take a tour.
- 751. - Oh, okay.
- Sounds good?
- 752. - You asking because it's raining outside?
- I guess.
- 753. Uh-huh. What do you do? Whatever's
happening, you look into?
- 754. - Something like that?
- I don't know.
- 755. Ha, ha, you don't know, huh?
Well, it's not a bad way to be.
- 756. Interested in everything
that's going around.
- 757. Wet— Wet is wet.
Just that simple.
- 758. - Hi, Mary.
- Hi, hon, Stanley.
- 759. Production.
- 760. Rose is on the phone. Here
are the cards for today.
- 761. - Fifteen minutes to go over those cards.
- 762. - Find Paula for me.
- You want her right now?
- 763. - Yes, now.
- We're on the air in 20 minutes.
- 764. Fucking hell, Mary. Yeah, hi.
- 765. - Hi, how you doing?
- I'm drinking.
- 766. - Slowly or quickly?
- As fast as I can.
- 767. You come home soon
after the show.
- 768. I went to see her.
- 769. Some fucking asshole answers
the door in his underwear.
- 770. He's 50 years old.
- 771. There's coke and shit
laid out on the table.
- 772. Did she talk to you?
- 773. She went crazy. She went
fucking crazy, Rose.
- 774. - Did you tell her?
- Oh, I don't know.
- 775. I gotta go. I don't have time.
- 776. I got a lot more drinking
to do before I go on.
- 777. - I love you.
- Love you too.
- 778. Shit.
- 779. - Hello?
- Police! Open the door!
- 780. Who is it?
- 781. It's the LAPD! Open the door!
- 782. I'm coming!
- 783. I have to get dressed!
- 784. You're not coming fast enough!
Open the door!
- 785. Didn't you hear me? I said I'm
coming, and that means I'm coming!
- 786. I just have to get
dressed, all right?
- 787. I really— I have
to get dressed!
- 788. I hate coming here and
not being able to talk.
- 789. It's fine. I understand.
- 790. I wish the circumstance
- 791. I don't know what's gonna happen.
It's so fucked.
- 792. - I feel so over the top with everything.
- Running out of your medication at all...
- 793. let alone at a time like
this, could be drastic.
- 794. Thank you, Dr. Diane.
- 795. Even your pocket. And the
- 796. 7:30 this Saturday night.
- 797. —Dollars and 99 cents.
- Hold it, Ron. It's only four easy—
- 798. NASDAQ trading at—
- 799. Stanley Spector and his brilliant
friends, Richard and Julia...
- 800. can defeat today's adult
challengers, Mim, Luis, and Todd.
- 801. They're moving towards a
half-a-million-dollar team total...
- 802. and a What Do Kids Know? Record.
- 803. - Pink Dot.
- Hi. I'd like to get an order for delivery.
- 804. - Phone number?
- 805. - Partridge?
- 806. What would you like?
- 807. I'd like to get an order
of, um, peanut butter...
- 808. - Mm-hm.
- Uh, cigarettes, Camel Lights.
- 809. - Mm-hm.
- Uh, water...
- 810. - Bottled water?
- Um, no. You know what, forget the water.
- 811. - Just give me a loaf of bread. White bread.
- 812. - And, um, do you have Playboy magazine?
- 813. Okay. One of those. And, uh,
Penthouse, the magazine?
- 814. - Yeah.
- You have that? Okay. Uh, one of those.
- 815. - And, um, Hustler?
- 816. - Do you have that?
- Yeah, I said.
- 817. - That it?
- Yeah, that's it.
- 818. You still want the peanut
butter, bread, and cigarettes?
- 819. Yeah. What?
- 820. - The total is 31.90. Thirty minutes or less.
- Okay. Thank you.
- 821. - Is that cash or credit card?
- 822. - Thanks.
- Thank you.
- 823. - Bye.
- 824. Respect the cock
and tame the cunt!
- 825. Have a great lunch!
- 826. This is Gwenovier from Profiles.
She's here for the interview.
- 827. - Nice to meet you.
- I admire your work.
- 828. - Thank you. I have us set up in a suite—
- It's not very safe for you here.
- 829. I finish one of these
- 830. I swear to fucking God.
I mean, I am Batman.
- 831. I'm Superman. I'm like a...
- 832. I'm like a fucking
action hero after that.
- 833. I could walk out if
this room right now.
- 834. I could go down the hall,
walk down the street...
- 835. and pick up any little honey I meet
that has even one second to stop.
- 836. - All it takes is one second?
- Just one second, girl.
- 837. One glance, one hesitation...
- 838. one subtle look my way
for me to know...
- 839. and then it is:
- 840. Bing, bang, boom.
- 841. Oh, my God. Oh!
- 842. I'm away on a tangent.
- 843. - I tell you...
- Don't hurt yourself, okay?
- 844. I tell you, I do.
- 845. I get so fucking jazzed
at these seminars...
- 846. see, because I am
what I believe.
- 847. I do as I say.
- 848. I live by these rules...
- 849. as religiously as I preach them.
- 850. That's why I am getting the nasty left,
right, center, up, down, sideways.
- 851. The Battle of the Bush is being
fought and won by Team Mackey.
- 852. - We're gonna start rolling now.
- What? I thought we were rolling.
- 853. Come on, go, go, go, Gwenovier.
I am firing pearls at you here.
- 854. I want you to know that I'm
not succeeding in the bush...
- 855. because I'm Frank T.J. Mackey.
Ah, you think about this.
- 856. I mean, there are women...
- 857. who, uh, wanna destroy me.
- 858. No. I find that hard to believe.
- 859. It makes it very difficult,
twice as hard for me.
- 860. There's some hottie
I'm moving in on...
- 861. knows me, knows my, you know, my,
uh, plans and my schemes, you know?
- 862. She's gonna wanna fuck with me.
- 863. She's gonna go back, you know tell
her friends: Yada, yada, yada...
- 864. "You know, Frank T.J. Mackey,
he ain't all that." You know.
- 865. "He ain't all that.
Didn't get me."
- 866. So, me, I am...
- 867. You know, I'm just on
- 868. - full-throttle through hottie heaven.
- 869. - Just dodging left. Dodging right.
- Yes, I understand.
- 870. - Dodging these bullets from these terrorists.
- I should've known this was gonna happen.
- 871. Calm down, take it easy,
and be a good boy...
- 872. okay, Mr. Mackey?
- 873. Thank you. Now, you
sit back there...
- 874. put your microphone
on for me, please...
- 875. - Yes, ma'am.
- So we can do this thing, all right?
- 876. Okay, um...
- 877. - Okay. Let me start by asking you—
- Just a second. One second.
- 878. You missed a button.
- 879. Thank you.
- 880. What do you wanna know?
- 881. Make it happen.
- 882. This is you, Donnie. Go, go, go.
- 883. Hello. You're back again, huh?
- 884. Yeah. Yes. Hi.
- 885. - What can I get you?
- Uh, Diet Coke.
- 886. You look tired. You
want one of these?
- 887. Better pour you one
of these, huh?
- 888. Can you ring me up?
- 889. Brad, good to see you.
It's good to see you.
- 890. You make that down payment
on the Harley yet?
- 891. Not yet. Not yet. I'll
make it next week.
- 892. Six days. You'll be the first.
- 893. Ha, ha, I would love that.
- 894. - Want another one?
- 895. Uh, I'd like a tequila.
- 896. - What kind?
- It doesn't matter.
- 897. Open up the door now!
- 898. Yes, hi! Hello!
- 899. Yeah.
- 900. I'm sorry. I had to get dressed.
- 901. - You the resident here?
- 902. - You alone in there?
- 903. No one else in there with you?
- 904. No. What's wrong?
- 905. First of all, you're gonna have to turn down
the music so we can have a conversation.
- 906. You mind if I come in?
- 907. No. Go ahead.
- 908. You got your neighbors
real worried for you.
- 909. I'm sorry.
- 910. - You live alone?
- 911. - What's your name?
- 912. - Claudia what?
- 913. Okay, Claudia Wilson...
- 914. - are you trying to go deaf?
- What? Ha, ha.
- 915. - Did you hear what I just said?
- Yes, but I don't know what...
- 916. Okay. You're listening
to your music so loud...
- 917. - you're gonna damage your ears.
- 918. If you continue to listen to
your music at that level...
- 919. you're gonna damage not only your ears,
but your neighbors' ears as well.
- 920. - I didn't realize it was that loud.
- 921. Well, that right there is the
first sign of hearing loss, okay?
- 922. Okay.
- 923. I see you got your
TV on there too.
- 924. You usually keep that
on at the same time?
- 925. I don't know. I mean, um...
What is this?
- 926. - You been doing some drugs today, Claudia?
- 927. - Have you been doing some drinking?
- No, ha, ha.
- 928. Okay.
- 929. I got a call of a
- 930. Some loud music, A, and
some screaming and yelling.
- 931. Has there been some
screaming and yelling here?
- 932. Yes.
- 933. I had someone come to my door.
- 934. Someone that I didn't want here.
- 935. And I told them to leave,
so it's no big deal.
- 936. They left. I'm sorry.
- 937. - Was that your boyfriend?
- 938. - You don't have a boyfriend?
- 939. Well, who was it?
- 940. I was... He's gone.
- 941. I mean, it's not—
it's over, you know?
- 942. You mind if I have a look
around for your safety?
- 943. - It's fine.
- 944. Uh, what—? What are
you looking for?
- 945. Claudia, why don't you let
me handle the questions...
- 946. - and you handle the answers, okay?
- 947. - I'm here to help you.
- 948. - So do you still have to do homework?
- Not as much as I used to.
- 949. Since we started, I haven't
gone to school much.
- 950. - I've had so many auditions.
- I don't have regular classes anymore.
- 951. - What do you do?
- They let me have my own study time.
- 952. - My own reading time in the library.
- That's pretty cool.
- 953. - Do you have an agent, Stanley?
- 954. You should get one. I'm serious. You
could get a lot of stuff out of this.
- 955. - Like what?
- What do you mean? Endorsements and shit!
- 956. - Richard.
- Bite it, Cynthia.
- 957. You get stuff from people that
want you to endorse their product.
- 958. Commercials, a sitcom, an M.O.W.
- 959. - What's M.O.W.?
- Hello. Movie of the week.
- 960. I went for one this morning with
Alan Thicke and Corey Haim.
- 961. - Was it a callback?
- No, but I'll probably get a callback.
- 962. If we beat the record, you
might get a callback.
- 963. I'll get it because I'm a
good actress, Richard.
- 964. - Saucy, saucy.
- Come on, guys. Settle down.
- 965. - Cynthia?
- What do you want?
- 966. - I gotta go to the bathroom.
- Can you hold it?
- 967. Yessiree! Whoa!
- 968. That was absolutely fantastic,
and I thank you very much.
- 969. As a matter of fact, we may even
take you folks on the road with us.
- 970. That's my thing. Come on.
I'm serious. Come on.
- 971. Milk and sports, man. You never heard—?
Milk and sports, okay?
- 972. Anything baseball. Um, anything
dealing with numbers...
- 973. when it comes to those, you know,
or who broke whatever record.
- 974. Any kind of dairy product, any kind—
- 975. um, like goat milk, goat cheese, goat—
All that stuff.
- 976. Wow, check this out over here.
- 977. So, um, look guys, just work
with me on that. Work with me.
- 978. Excuse me, can you bring
me low-fat milk, please?
- 979. A couple of ice cubes.
- 980. Ah, they don't look so tough.
- 981. - Do they look smart?
- 982. - What are they gonna do, beat us?
- 983. We're not going out two days
before we set the record.
- 984. It's not gonna happen.
- 985. Yeah. When they want us done...
- 986. they'll call in the Harvard
SWAT team or some shit.
- 987. Ready to run.
- 988. You smell like trouble.
I'm fucking hammered.
- 989. - You okay?
- You know.
- 990. Good. You have a chance
to look those over?
- 991. Oh, come on. It's the same
fucking shit for 30 years, Burt.
- 992. You look like you have
money in your pocket.
- 993. Maybe I'm just happy to
see my friend Brad there.
- 994. Just throw some money around.
- 995. - Money, money, money.
- It's Brad.
- 996. Ooh. This sounds threatening.
- 997. Do you have love in your heart?
- 998. I have love all over.
- 999. I even have love
for you, friend.
- 1000. - Is it real love?
- 1001. The kind of love that makes you
feel that intangible joy...
- 1002. in the pit of your stomach...
- 1003. like a bucket of acid and
nerves running around...
- 1004. and making you hurt and
happy and all over...?
- 1005. You're head over heels?
- 1006. You lost me with the last couple of
cocktail words spoken, my boy...
- 1007. but I believe it's
that sort of love.
- 1008. Sounds nice to me.
- 1009. I have love.
- 1010. Hmm, a very chatty kind.
Indeed you do, it seems.
- 1011. No, I mean, I'm telling you.
- 1012. I'm telling you, I have love.
- 1013. Yes, and I'm listening
- 1014. My name is Donnie Smith, and
I have lots of love to give.
- 1015. - Hello.
- 1016. Wow.
- 1017. Lot of stuff here, huh?
- 1018. It's 30 seconds.
- 1019. Eye on you. I'll be back.
- 1020. - Hi, Cynthia.
- Jakety, Jakety.
- 1021. The fuck is going on over there?
- 1022. - I gotta go to the bathroom.
- Jesus Christ, Stanley.
- 1023. No, no, no. You cannot do that. Let
me explain something to you people.
- 1024. You have to tone it. Don't be
real aggressive like that.
- 1025. Be subtly abusive so they
don't know what's happening.
- 1026. You say, "You're not gonna go outside
and play with your friends..."
- 1027. until that entire room is
cleaned floor to ceiling."
- 1028. Oh, Julia's room's the same way.
- 1029. Like a pigsty. But it's the
outfits we're into now.
- 1030. Oh, you should have seen what she
had on walking out the door.
- 1031. I said, "No. We're going to
school, not a fashion show."
- 1032. it's not a fashion show.
- 1033. Absolutely. It's not
a fashion show.
- 1034. Shh.
- 1035. Let's make some fucking
money here, people.
- 1036. You with me, Jimmy?
- 1037. The book says, "We may be
through with the past...
- 1038. but the past ain't
through with us."
- 1039. We met upon the level, and
we're parting on the square.
- 1040. In my fucking sleep, Burt.
- 1041. And five, four, three, two...
- 1042. Live from Burbank, California,
its What Do Kids Know?
- 1043. Going into our 33rd year on the air, it's
America's longest-running quiz show...
- 1044. and the place where three kids
get to challenge three adults...
- 1045. and in the end, we'll
see who's the boss.
- 1046. Moving towards their eighth
consecutive week as champions...
- 1047. Richard, Julia, and Stanley.
- 1048. And our new adult challengers
today are Mim, Luis, and Todd.
- 1049. And me, I'm Dick Jennings...
- 1050. and now say hello to your
favorite host and my boss...
- 1051. Jimmy Gator.
- 1052. Back again, again, again. I'm Jimmy
Gator, and believe it or not...
- 1053. we are at the end of Week 7,
heading towards Week 8...
- 1054. with these three incredible kids, who—
- 1055. Are just two days and two games away
from the What Do Kids Know? Record...
- 1056. for the longest-running quiz
show in television history.
- 1057. Now, we are, as you know,
endorsed by the PTA...
- 1058. and the North American
- 1059. We keep our standards high, and that's why
we are the longest-running quiz show...
- 1060. in television history. I wanna say
something about these kids now.
- 1061. These kids right here, I think
they're gonna be here a while.
- 1062. But today is a dangerous day...
- 1063. because I have just met with the
adult challengers backstage...
- 1064. and let me tell you, they are a
terrific challenge for our kids.
- 1065. So let's get this show
up and away, shall we?
- 1066. We wanna know where your son is.
- 1067. "Jerome Samuel Hall." Did he fight
your husband? Is this the Worm?
- 1068. - They had a fight. An accident.
- They call him Worm?
- 1069. We wanna know where your son is.
- 1070. - Help us, Marcie.
- Do they call him Worm?
- 1071. - Help us help your son, Marcie.
- Do they call him Worm?
- 1072. Help us help your son, Marcie.
- 1073. Your son and your grandson.
Help us help them.
- 1074. Is this the Worm?
- 1075. Let's jump right in.
- 1076. A quick recap for
those who don't know.
- 1077. Round One. Three categories.
Steals are okay.
- 1078. Point scale escalating from 25 to 250,
one of which is a conversation bonus.
- 1079. - Hi.
- That'll be 31.90.
- 1080. The categories are "authors, chaos
versus superstring, and rub-a-dub."
- 1081. - Max. Thanks.
- 1082. Adults won a coin toss backstage,
so they get to pick first.
- 1083. Mim.
- 1084. First question, for 25.
- 1085. O Pioneers!
- 1086. H-E-R.
- 1087. - Stanley?
- Willa Cather.
- 1088. Willa Cather for 25.
- 1089. Best known for the tragedy-of-blood
genre, this playwright—
- 1090. - Stanley.
- Thomas Kyd.
- 1091. Thomas Kyd.
- 1092. This French playwright and actor
joined the Bejart troupe of actors—
- 1093. - Stanley.
- 1094. Oh, I'm afraid I'm gonna
need a full name, Stanley.
- 1095. Jean Baptiste Poquelin Moliere.
- 1096. What the fuck is this?
- 1097. God damn. My little fucker.
- 1098. I have no idea where he gets this shit.
He's a fucking genius, really.
- 1099. Seduce and Destroy.
This is Chad.
- 1100. Can I have your phone number?
- 1101. - Is this Seduce and Destroy?
- Yes, it is. Can I have your phone number?
- 1102. Okay, I don't want to order anything.
Uh, you see...
- 1103. I have a situation, uh, that's just
come up that's really pretty serious...
- 1104. and I don't know who to talk
to or what I should do...
- 1105. but maybe you could put me in touch
with somebody if I explain myself?
- 1106. Uh, we're really only equipped
to take orders here, sir.
- 1107. I mean, it's just us with the phones,
and that's what we do, you know—
- 1108. Okay, okay, okay. Could you connect
me with somebody else, you think?
- 1109. Well, what's the situation?
- 1110. Okay, great, um...
- 1111. All right. Let me try to explain
myself without it seeming crazy.
- 1112. But here I go. I'm— No.
- 1113. Uh, my name is Phil Parma...
- 1114. and I work for, uh, a man
named Earl Partridge.
- 1115. Uh, Mr. Earl Partridge.
- 1116. I'm his nurse, and
he's a very sick man.
- 1117. He's a dying man,
and he's sick...
- 1118. and he has asked me to help him.
- 1119. To help him find his son.
- 1120. - Hello? Are you there? Hello?
- No, I'm here. I'm listening.
- 1121. Okay. Um, you see...
- 1122. Frank T.J. Mackey is
Earl Partridge's son.
- 1123. So where are you
- 1124. - From around here.
- 1125. - Well, Hollywood, mainly.
- What did your parents do?
- 1126. Uh, my father— Well, he was
in television. My mother—
- 1127. - This is going to sound silly to you.
- Try me.
- 1128. - Uh, she was a librarian.
- Why does that sound silly?
- 1129. I don't know. I
guess it doesn't.
- 1130. - Does your mother still work?
- No, she's retired.
- 1131. - Are you close?
- She's my mother.
- 1132. Yes, but, uh, I mean,
she's a woman too...
- 1133. so how does she feel about
Seduce and Destroy?
- 1134. I mean, what does she say?
- 1135. Well, she says, uh, "You
go get them, honey."
- 1136. Uh-huh. And what
about your father?
- 1137. Oh, my father. Unfortunately,
he passed away.
- 1138. - Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea.
- No, please.
- 1139. I wouldn't have brought
that up if I had known.
- 1140. - That's a very hard thing.
- 1141. Yes, it is, but listen.
- 1142. I mean, you have to move forward.
The past has its place.
- 1143. - It was a long time ago, and people die.
- 1144. Okay, let's switch gears here.
- 1145. According to your book, you
ended up at UC Berkeley?
- 1146. '84 to '89.
- 1147. - Psychology major.
- That's right.
- 1148. - Get your masters?
- Hmm? Oh.
- 1149. - This close.
- 1150. - That's impressive in five years.
- Cap, can I have some coffee?
- 1151. Can I get you anything?
- 1152. - No, no, no, I'm good. Thank you.
- You sure? Okay.
- 1153. - She's good. I need coffee.
- Ha, ha.
- 1154. Cats and dogs out there, huh?
- 1155. Must have a lot going on for all
that stuff back there, huh?
- 1156. You could, uh...
- 1157. Heh. You could have quite
a party, all that stuff.
- 1158. You been on Prozac long?
- 1159. - I don't...
- Interesting drugs.
- 1160. Dexedrine's basically speed
in a pill, you know.
- 1161. I guess a lot of the doctors are balancing
out the Prozac with the Dexedrine, so...
- 1162. That liquid morphine will
knock you down, out...
- 1163. around, up and down,
someone's not careful.
- 1164. You can't mix those
up, you know.
- 1165. Strong, strong stuff here, boy.
- 1166. What you have wrong, you
need all this stuff?
- 1167. - Motherfucker.
- 1168. - Motherfucker. You fucking asshole.
- What are you talking about?
- 1169. - Who the fuck do you think you are?
- I'm just trying—
- 1170. I come in here. You don't know me. You
don't know who I am, what my life is...
- 1171. and you have the balls, the indecency
to ask me a question about my life?
- 1172. - Please, lady, calm down.
- Fuck you too! Don't you call me "lady"!
- 1173. I come in here, I give
these things to you...
- 1174. you check, you make
your phone calls...
- 1175. look suspicious, ask questions.
- 1176. I'm sick.
- 1177. I have sickness all around me,
and you fucking ask me my life?
- 1178. "What's wrong?"
- 1179. Have you seen death in your bed?
In your house?
- 1180. Where's your fucking decency? And
then I'm asked fucking questions.
- 1181. "What's wrong?"
- 1182. You suck my dick,
that's what's wrong.
- 1183. And you. You fucking
call me "lady"?
- 1184. Shame on you!
- 1185. Shame on you. Shame
on both of you.
- 1186. Why don't they have
the same last name?
- 1187. Because they don't have
the same last name.
- 1188. I know, and I can't really
explain that, but I think—
- 1189. I have a feeling there is something,
you know, a situation between them...
- 1190. like they don't know each
other much or well, you know?
- 1191. Something like they don't
talk much anymore, even.
- 1192. Uh-huh.
- 1193. You know? God, does
this sound weird?
- 1194. Ha, ha. I just don't understand
why you're calling me.
- 1195. Well, there's no number for
Frank in any of Earl's stuff...
- 1196. you know, and he's
pretty out of it.
- 1197. I mean, like I said, he's dying.
- 1198. Dying of cancer. So...
- 1199. - What kind of cancer?
- It's brain and lung.
- 1200. - My mother had breast cancer.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- 1201. - Is she all right?
- Oh, she's fine now.
- 1202. - Oh, that's good.
- Lt was scary, though.
- 1203. - Oh, it's a hell of a disease.
- Oh, it sure is.
- 1204. - Yeah.
- Well, so, uh...
- 1205. Wait, I'm sorry. So why call me?
- 1206. I know this sounds silly, and I know
that I might sound ridiculous...
- 1207. like this is the scene
of the movie...
- 1208. where the guy is trying to get
ahold of the long-lost son...
- 1209. you know, but this is that scene.
This is that scene.
- 1210. And I think they have
those scenes in movies...
- 1211. because they're true, you know.
- 1212. Because they really happen.
- 1213. And you gotta believe me,
this is really happening.
- 1214. I mean, I can give you my
number and you can go check...
- 1215. with whoever you
gotta check with...
- 1216. but do not leave me
hanging on this.
- 1217. All right? Please.
I'm just— Please.
- 1218. See...
- 1219. See, this is, uh, the scene of
the movie where you help me out.
- 1220. You're great. These
are great questions.
- 1221. - Thank you. Good, good.
- This is going great.
- 1222. See, I thought you grew
up here in the Valley.
- 1223. Yeah. You know, like I said.
- 1224. You went to Van
Nuys High, right?
- 1225. I wouldn't say I went.
- 1226. I was misguided, pathetic.
Not the Frank T.J. Mackey...
- 1227. you're so eagerly, uh, wanting
to put on national television.
- 1228. Because I was swimming in what
was as opposed to what I wanted.
- 1229. - Where does that name come from?
- What name? My name?
- 1230. Yeah. It's not your
given name, right?
- 1231. It's my mother's name, actually.
That's good. Good. Done your research.
- 1232. - And "Frank"?
- Frank is my mother's father.
- 1233. Oh, okay. That's why. See,
I had some trouble...
- 1234. locating your school records at,
um, UCLA and, uh, Berkeley.
- 1235. And it's your name change. See, they
had no official enrollment for you.
- 1236. - No, no, no, they wouldn't.
- They wouldn't?
- 1237. No, because I was never
officially enrolled there.
- 1238. - Was that unclear?
- Kind of.
- 1239. Oh. God, I wouldn't want
that to be misunderstood.
- 1240. No, uh, my enrollment
was totally unofficial.
- 1241. Sadly, I couldn't afford to
pay the tuition up there.
- 1242. There were three wonderful professors
who let me to sit in their classes.
- 1243. Their names were Macready, Horn,
and Langtree, among others.
- 1244. You're welcome to call them if you like.
See, I didn't get a free ride...
- 1245. so, what we're looking at here
is a true rags-to-riches story.
- 1246. That's why people respond
so strongly to Seduce...
- 1247. because at the end of the day,
Seduce may not be just...
- 1248. about picking up chicks,
sticking your cock in.
- 1249. It's about finding out what
you can be in this world...
- 1250. defining it, controlling it, and
saying, "I will take what is mine."
- 1251. And you happen to get a
little blow job out of it...
- 1252. - then, hey, what the fuck? Why not?
- Ha, ha, okay. There you go.
- 1253. End of Round One. Excellent
work, ladies and germs.
- 1254. I think we should take a
look at the scores here.
- 1255. Kids are up a leg with 1500...
- 1256. and the adults are down
a little bit with 1025.
- 1257. So we'll be back for Round
Two in a ring-ding-do.
- 1258. Whoa, hello, hello.
Bonus musical question.
- 1259. And the winner is...
- 1260. kids.
- 1261. Uh, kids are in the lead. They get
a chance to pull further ahead...
- 1262. if they can answer the following
secret-bonus musical question.
- 1263. Now, what I'm going to do is
read a line from an opera.
- 1264. Give me that line back...
- 1265. in the language in which
the opera was written...
- 1266. and for a bonus 250— Um, 250—
- 1267. uh, you can sing it. Heh.
- 1268. Here's the line.
- 1269. "Love is a rebellious bird
that nobody can tame...
- 1270. and it's all in vain to call
it if it chooses to refuse."
- 1271. Yes, Stanley.
- 1272. Well, that was in French...
- 1273. and that was from
the opera Carmen...
- 1274. and that goes:
- 1275. You got some coffee brewing here.
- 1276. It's been on for a bit.
- 1277. Yeah, I like iced
- 1278. but a day like today, you know,
with the rain and whatnot...
- 1279. I enjoy a warm cup.
- 1280. Do you want a cup?
- 1281. Is that all right? Just raining
cats and dogs out there.
- 1282. I'd just as soon not go back in it.
- 1283. I don't know how
fresh it's gonna be.
- 1284. Oh, I'm sure it's fine, Claudia.
- 1285. Do you, um, take cream or sugar?
- 1286. That would be fine. Um—
- 1287. So, Claudia, let me just say, so I can
get my role as an LAPD officer...
- 1288. out of the way before
we enjoy our coffee.
- 1289. I don't like to talk
shop over coffee.
- 1290. I'm not gonna write you up.
- 1291. I'm not gonna give you
a citation here...
- 1292. but the real problem we have here is
that you got people around you...
- 1293. people who work from home
trying to get some work done...
- 1294. and if you're listening to your music that
loud, they're inconvenienced by that.
- 1295. If you had a job, you'd
probably understand, but...
- 1296. You like listening to your music.
That's fine. That's fine. Um...
- 1297. You're just gonna wanna keep
an eye on the volume level.
- 1298. You know, maybe memorize what
number you see on the dial.
- 1299. If it's the middle of the
day, that's what I do.
- 1300. I set it at two and a half, and then I
know that's a good listening level for me.
- 1301. But, uh, you like listening
to your music loud.
- 1302. That's fine. That's cool. It's
good to rock out sometimes.
- 1303. But you can't do it every day...
- 1304. or else you risk damaging your ears.
- 1305. - You listen to it all the time like that?
- 1306. You're gonna drive
these people crazy.
- 1307. Anyway, you get the point.
- 1308. - Yes.
- 1309. Um...
- 1310. Cheers.
- 1311. - So this boyfriend bothering you?
- I don't have a boyfriend.
- 1312. - The gentleman who was at the door—
- He's not my boyfriend.
- 1313. Okay. A lot of times, in
- 1314. the young woman is
afraid to speak out.
- 1315. You don't have to be afraid
to tell me anything.
- 1316. And as a police officer,
I can tell you...
- 1317. it goes bad places.
- 1318. Young woman is afraid, next thing
you know, I'm here on a 187.
- 1319. It's not— What's a 187?
- 1320. It's not good. And it's where
situations like this always lead.
- 1321. It's not my boyfriend,
and it's not anything.
- 1322. It's over. Really. It's not.
He won't come back.
- 1323. - I don't wanna have to come back here—
- You won't have to.
- 1324. You know, I—
I wouldn't mind coming back.
- 1325. You know, get a look at
your pretty face again.
- 1326. I'll be right back.
- 1327. Here you go.
- 1328. Let's get the jacket off. It
will help you to breathe.
- 1329. I can't fucking do this.
- 1330. I've, uh—
- 1331. I think— I'm gonna
throw up, I think.
- 1332. I haven't thrown up since
I was 20 years old.
- 1333. Cynthia.
- 1334. You are the man.
- 1335. - What's the problem?
- I need to go to the bathroom.
- 1336. Jesus Christ, Stanley.
You can't go now.
- 1337. You have one minute
before we're on the air.
- 1338. Now is not the time to
go to the bathroom.
- 1339. - Why does this always happen?
- 1340. Excuse me, is there a
problem over there?
- 1341. Mind your own business.
- 1342. - You better watch your mouth.
- Why don't you mind your own business?
- 1343. - Oh, no, she didn't.
- Cool down. Cool it, please.
- 1344. Now, Stanley, wait for the
commercial break, then you can go.
- 1345. - Just hold it.
- Where did they get these kids?
- 1346. Don't taunt the kids.
- 1347. - I'm trying to be helpful.
- Don't start trouble, Luis.
- 1348. Honey, you haven't seen trouble.
Wait till next commercial break.
- 1349. - What's the problem?
- 1350. Lily! Please!
- 1351. Order Seduce and Destroy...
- 1352. - Get away from me, you shithead!
- 1353. Can't afford it? We'll work
out something for you.
- 1354. Seduce and Destroy
will change your life.
- 1355. Watch out, watch out, watch out.
- 1356. No.
- 1357. Don't, don't, don't.
- 1358. - I'm gonna save you.
- Hi? Hello? Okay.
- 1359. I guarantee,
- 1360. - Don't eat these.
- This will change your life.
- 1361. It's gonna help you get that
naughty sauce that you...
- 1362. - For a low cost of 49.99...
- Here you go.
- 1363. Come on out of the cold and
order Seduce and Destroy...
- 1364. for the low cost of 49.99.
We take all credit cards.
- 1365. - I take Visa, MasterCard...
- Out of the trash, out of the trash.
- 1366. Hey, Phil, are you there?
- 1367. - It's Chad.
- Yeah. Hi, Chad.
- 1368. Yeah, listen, I'm gonna put you in
touch with Janet, Frank's assistant.
- 1369. - Okay.
- And she's gonna see what she can do.
- 1370. Thank you very much, and good
luck to you and your mother.
- 1371. Thanks, man. You too. Okay,
Janet, are you there?
- 1372. - Hello?
- All right, Janet, you have Phil Parma.
- 1373. Okay?
- 1374. I have cancer, Mary. I
have about two months.
- 1375. I have no time.
- 1376. It's in my bones. I
don't have a chance.
- 1377. - Oh.
- I'm fucked.
- 1378. - And 15 seconds.
- You got any cookies or anything?
- 1379. Ten seconds.
- 1380. And five, four, three, two...
- 1381. We're back, ready for Round Two.
- 1382. We're talking to our adult
contestants here today.
- 1383. Uh, Mim, it says here that
you live in California...
- 1384. and that you have two kids.
- 1385. Right. I have a
- 1386. Do you know who I am?
- 1387. You're a friend of the
family, I presume.
- 1388. What does that mean?
- 1389. Nothing special. Just
a spoke in the wheel.
- 1390. You talk in rhymes and
riddles and rub-a-dub...
- 1391. but that doesn't mean anything to me.
See, see— See, I used to be smart.
- 1392. I'm "Quiz Kid" Donnie Smith.
- 1393. I'm "Quiz Kid" Donnie
Smith from TV.
- 1394. It might have been
before my time.
- 1395. I remember now. In
the sixties, right?
- 1396. - I'm "Quiz Kid" Donnie Smith.
- Like you said.
- 1397. Smart kid. You got struck by
lightning at one time, right?
- 1398. So what?
- 1399. - I heard about that.
- Did it hurt?
- 1400. Yes.
- 1401. But you're all right now.
So, what's the what?
- 1402. - What?
- That's right.
- 1403. I used to be smart.
Now I'm just stupid.
- 1404. Ha! Brad, dear, who
was it that said:
- 1405. "A man of genius has seldom
been ruined but by himself"?
- 1406. Um...
- 1407. - The lovely Samuel Johnson.
- 1408. Who also spoke of a fellow
who was not only dull...
- 1409. but a cause of
dullness in others.
- 1410. The cause of dullness in others.
- 1411. - Picky, picky.
- Let me tell you this.
- 1412. Samuel Johnson never had
his life shit on...
- 1413. and taken from him,
and his money stolen.
- 1414. Who took his life and his money?
- 1415. His parents? His
mommy and daddy?
- 1416. Make him live this
life like this.
- 1417. A man of genius who gets
shit on as a child...
- 1418. and that scars. That hurts.
- 1419. Have you ever been
hit by lightning?
- 1420. It hurts. It doesn't
happen to everyone.
- 1421. It's an electrical charge.
- 1422. It finds its way
across the universe...
- 1423. and it lands in your
body and your head.
- 1424. And as for "ruined
but by himself"...
- 1425. not if his parents took
his freaking life...
- 1426. and his money, and
tell you to do this...
- 1427. and to do that, and
if you don't, well...
- 1428. Your parents took your money
that you won on that game show?
- 1429. Yes. They did.
- 1430. What does that mean, "a
spoke in the wheel"?
- 1431. Things go round and
round, don't they?
- 1432. Yes, they do. They do.
- 1433. But I'll make my
dreams come true.
- 1434. Sounds sad as a weeping willow.
- 1435. I used to be smart.
- 1436. But now I'm just stupid.
- 1437. Shall we drink to that?
- 1438. Um, I wanna talk a little bit
more about your background.
- 1439. You made, um, some
- 1440. to, uh, subjective human experiences
and terrible things, and, um...
- 1441. Actually, I'm confused about
your past, is the thing.
- 1442. - Is that still lingering? It's so boring.
- Just to clarify...
- 1443. - Just wanna clear some things up.
- Useless. Mm.
- 1444. Excuse me. See— Thank you, Muff.
It's a funny thing that—
- 1445. This is an important element
of Seduce and Destroy.
- 1446. Facing the past is an important
way of not making progress.
- 1447. This is something I tell my
men over and over and over.
- 1448. This isn't meant, um...
- 1449. See, I try to teach
my students to ask:
- 1450. "What is it in aid of?"
- 1451. - Are you asking me that?
- 1452. - Well, in trying to figure out who you are...
- In aid of what?
- 1453. Well, Frank, I'm saying that in
trying to figure out who you are—
- 1454. I have more important things...
- 1455. - to put myself into.
- Well, no, it's all important.
- 1456. I think this is
- 1457. that you might need to think
about putting yourself into.
- 1458. - Mm. Not really.
- Um, look, Frank...
- 1459. it's not like I'm trying
to attack you here.
- 1460. - No.
- I just—
- 1461. Okay. Hey, this is how you wanna
spend your time, then go, go, go.
- 1462. But you're gonna be surprised
at what a waste it is.
- 1463. "The most useless thing in the world is
that which is behind me." Chapter Three.
- 1464. We talked earlier
about your mother...
- 1465. and we talked about your
father and his death.
- 1466. I don't want to be challenging,
but I have to ask, um...
- 1467. I just wanna clarify something.
Something that I understand...
- 1468. - I'm not sure I hear a question in here.
- I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can.
- 1469. What's the question?
- 1470. - Do you remember a Miss Simms?
- I know a lot of women.
- 1471. - I'm sure she remembers me, ha, ha.
- She does. From when you were a boy.
- 1472. - Yeah?
- She lived in Tarzana.
- 1473. That's my old stomping ground.
- 1474. Is this the attack portion
of the interview?
- 1475. - Is the girl coming in for the kill?
- No. This is about getting something right...
- 1476. and clarifying answers
to an earlier question.
- 1477. What question?
- 1478. I was told that your
mother died, Frank.
- 1479. That's what you heard.
- 1480. Do you remember Miss Simms?
- 1481. - No.
- Well, I talked to Miss Simms...
- 1482. your neighbor and caretaker after
your mother died in 1980...
- 1483. and in my research...
- 1484. I have you listed as the only
son of Earl and Lily Partridge.
- 1485. And what I learned from Barbara
Simms is that your mother, Lily...
- 1486. died in 1980.
- 1487. So, see, it's my understanding
that information supplied...
- 1488. by you and your company...
- 1489. and the answers to the questions
I've asked is incorrect...
- 1490. and if I wanna get to the bottom
of who you are and why you are...
- 1491. then I think that your family history,
your actual family history...
- 1492. Well, this is important.
- 1493. What is your fucking question?
- 1494. Well, I guess my
question is this:
- 1495. Why would you lie, Frank?
- 1496. Kids, adults...
- 1497. I would like you to put
yourself at a picnic.
- 1498. Uh, place yourself there with your
family and friends, if you'd like.
- 1499. You'll hear three musical notes,
and you are to tell me...
- 1500. what it might represent that
you would find at a picnic.
- 1501. The first three notes. Guys?
- 1502. - Yes, Todd.
- Well, Jimmy, I know this.
- 1503. I have perfect pitch, you see,
and that would be A-D-E...
- 1504. - and that would represent lemonade.
- For 250. Next notes, please.
- 1505. - Todd?
- That's E-G-G, which would be egg.
- 1506. For 500. And the third set of notes.
- 1507. - You don't want any water?
- No. I just...
- 1508. I'm so fucked up
right now, Alan.
- 1509. - There's just so much. So many things.
- Are you on drugs right now?
- 1510. If I tell you something, if I say things, then—
You're a lawyer, right?
- 1511. You can't say anything, tell anybody.
It's like a privilege. Attorney/client.
- 1512. - You understand?
- Not exactly.
- 1513. Like a shrink. If I go see
a shrink, I'm protected.
- 1514. I can say things. Oh, fuck.
- 1515. - I don't know what I'm doing.
- Linda, you're safe, okay? It's all right.
- 1516. You're my friend. You
and Earl are clients.
- 1517. Whatever you wanna say
won't leave this room.
- 1518. You have something you
wanna say to me...
- 1519. I have to tell you something.
I have something to tell you.
- 1520. I wanna change his will. Can I
change his will? I need to.
- 1521. No, you can't change his will.
Only Earl can.
- 1522. No, no, no. You see, um...
- 1523. I never loved him.
- 1524. I never loved him. Earl.
- 1525. When I met him— When I started—
I met him, I fucked him, and I married him...
- 1526. because I wanted his money.
- 1527. Uh, I'm telling you this.
- 1528. I've never told anyone.
Uh, I didn't love him...
- 1529. but now— I know I'm in that will.
We were all there.
- 1530. We made that thing. And the money I'll get.
I don't want it, because I love him now.
- 1531. I've fallen in love with him now
for real, as he's dying, and...
- 1532. Uh, I look at him, and he's about
to go, Alan. He's moments...
- 1533. I took care of him through this, Alan.
What now, then?
- 1534. Let's listen.
- 1535. "Hello, Mary. How are
you and the seven kids?
- 1536. As you probably heard by now, we sure
gave that Pope a run for his money."
- 1537. - Mim.
- Um, that would be Robert E. Lee.
- 1538. His wife was Mary Parke Custis.
I know he had seven children.
- 1539. Um, and he would be talking about Pope, who
he defeated at the Battle of Manassas.
- 1540. Absolutely right, Miss Mim.
- 1541. Come on, come on, come on.
Snap out of it, man.
- 1542. Come on. Stanley.
- 1543. Bonjour, Josephine.
Maintenant je suis en Egypte.
- 1544. Yes, Mim.
- 1545. Um, that would be Napoleon
speaking to Josephine.
- 1546. Absolutely right, for 500.
- 1547. I don't want him to die. I
didn't love him when we met...
- 1548. and I did so many bad things
to him that he doesn't know.
- 1549. Things that I want to confess to him.
But now I do. I love him.
- 1550. - Linda, what kind of medication are you on?
- This isn't any fucking medication talking!
- 1551. Can you give me nothing? You
have power of attorney.
- 1552. Can you go in the final fucking
moments and change the will?
- 1553. L— I don't want any money.
- 1554. I couldn't live with myself
with this thing that I've done.
- 1555. I fucked around. I fucking cheated on him.
I fucking cheated on him.
- 1556. There. There. You're his
lawyer, our lawyer.
- 1557. I am his wife. We are married. I
broke the contract of marriage.
- 1558. I fucked around on him many times.
I sucked other men's cocks.
- 1559. Adultery is not against the law.
- 1560. It's not something you can use
in court to discredit the will.
- 1561. - Linda. Linda, calm down.
- I can't.
- 1562. You don't have to
change the will.
- 1563. If you wanna take nothing, renounce
the will when the time comes.
- 1564. What does that mean?
Where does the money go?
- 1565. - It goes to the nearest relative.
- What's that? Frank?
- 1566. No, no, no. That can't happen. Earl
doesn't want him to have anything.
- 1567. - That's what will happen.
- This is so fucked up.
- 1568. Linda, stop!
- 1569. Now, you take a moment,
- 1570. - and one thing at a time.
- Shut the fuck up.
- 1571. - You want me to help you?
- Shut the fuck up.
- 1572. - You need to sober up.
- Now, you must really shut the fuck up.
- 1573. Now. Please, shut the fuck up.
- 1574. - Linda.
- I have to go.
- 1575. - Let me call you a car, Linda.
- Shut the fuck up.
- 1576. Now, imagine that you are
attending a jam session...
- 1577. of classical composers...
- 1578. and they have each done an arrangement
of the classic favorite, "Whispering."
- 1579. Now, we have here the New
World Harmonica Trio...
- 1580. who are going to play, uh—
- 1581. Uh, three, um—
Uh, variations on the theme...
- 1582. as the, uh— As—
- 1583. As three classical composers
might have written it.
- 1584. So you are to name the,
uh, first composer.
- 1585. Guys?
- 1586. - Yes, Todd.
- Well, Jimmy, that sounded like Brahms.
- 1587. Uh, a bit like his "Hungarian
Dance Number Six."
- 1588. That is excellent, Todd.
Next composer, guys.
- 1589. Stanley the man.
- 1590. I don't know the answer.
- 1591. That is not right.
- 1592. That's not right, Stanley.
- 1593. The correct answer is Ravel.
- 1594. Ravel.
- 1595. Uh, and now I'm gonna have
our three whistlers, um...
- 1596. please to present the
next, uh, musical...
- 1597. There were three, uh,
musical sections here...
- 1598. and this will be the third
section that the whistlers...
- 1599. Um, and they'll play
a piece that's...
- 1600. it's very recognizable. It's
Chopin, actually, and, uh...
- 1601. Well, it's taken—
It's in the style of "Marche Militaire."
- 1602. it's a very recognizable piece.
- 1603. So if you please just
listen to this...
- 1604. and I'm sure you can
identify the, uh...
- 1605. I'm sort of giving away
the answer here, but—
- 1606. It's Chopin. I don't mean
to give away the answer.
- 1607. It's just— Please, just—
- 1608. Well, sing us a ditty, guys.
A Chopin ditty.
- 1609. Let's have a Chopin ditty here.
- 1610. - Go to the card. Go to the fucking card.
- Go to the card. Go.
- 1611. Go to the card.
- 1612. Okay, I'm back.
- 1613. For not a fresh cup, this
is a good cup of coffee.
- 1614. Thank you. What do you
wanna talk about?
- 1615. I don't know.
- 1616. - Do you want to talk?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 1617. - Okay.
- 1618. What's your name?
- 1619. Jim Kurring.
- 1620. - Call 911.
- I think I had a stroke.
- 1621. No, no, no. I'm fine.
I'm all right.
- 1622. - I wanna finish the show.
- No, we need to call this quits.
- 1623. - Get your hands off me.
- Let this guy help you.
- 1624. - Look, I just— I'll tell you what happened.
- Call 911. Do it right now, Mary.
- 1625. I fell down and I couldn't see for a minute,
but I'm okay. Get your hands off me.
- 1626. - Did you fucking piss your pants?
- Shut up.
- 1627. - What happened? What's going on?
- Nothing. Go away.
- 1628. Don't tell me to go away.
- 1629. I'm the coordinator for the show, and
you will answer the questions I ask.
- 1630. - Now, what is going on? You—
- What's the problem?
- 1631. - Nothing. I'm fine.
- Why didn't you answer those questions?
- 1632. - I didn't know the answer.
- Bullshit! Bullshit!
- 1633. You know the answer
to every question.
- 1634. I knew the answers. I'm not
half as smart as you...
- 1635. so what the hell happened?
- 1636. - I don't know.
- He pissed his pants.
- 1637. You pissed your pants?
- 1638. - No, I didn't. I'm fine.
- Stand up.
- 1639. - I said I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Stand up.
- 1640. Oh, Jesus, Stanley, what the
fuck did you do that for?
- 1641. I just wanna keep playing.
I'll keep playing. I'm fine.
- 1642. That's great.
- 1643. I mean, you know that, to a
performer, that's food, right?
- 1644. That shows that you love him,
and I'm sure he appreciates it.
- 1645. Everything's fine. Relax. Relax, darling.
- 1646. I'm okay.
- 1647. All right, see? I'm all right.
- 1648. It's pretty fucking stupid, isn't it?
- 1649. What the fuck do they
think out there?
- 1650. They must be laughing
their asses off.
- 1651. Tell them I got a bad knee
or some fucking thing.
- 1652. Ha, ha. This is fucking funny.
- 1653. - What do you guys wanna do?
- Just what I said.
- 1654. - Are we going to continue with this game?
- 1655. All right, you look at me.
Look at me.
- 1656. You are two days away from this record.
Okay? Nobody's ever done that.
- 1657. You get through this, I'll get
you anything you want. Anything.
- 1658. - You just gotta get through this, okay?
- 1659. Hang in there, buddy. I'm
sorry I squeezed your arm.
- 1660. Hey. I love you.
- 1661. - Are we doing this?
- Fucking stupidity.
- 1662. - Why don't I put the medic on?
- Don't let him do this.
- 1663. - He's been doing it for 30 years.
- You don't know.
- 1664. It's a fucking game show, Mary.
- 1665. Hear that?
- 1666. - Ah, yeah. Does that hurt?
- 1667. - What is it?
- It's in my ear.
- 1668. It's, um, TMJ.
- 1669. It's what it's called.
- 1670. How about they just call it,
you know, "clicking jaw"?
- 1671. - "Pain in the jaw," yeah. Ha, ha.
- Yeah. How about that?
- 1672. - Be easier to remember.
- Yeah. It gets...
- 1673. I— I don't even know
if I have it, actually.
- 1674. 15-L-27, 15-L-27, head out to...
- 1675. I'm sorry.
- 1676. 15-L-27, I'm currently
- 1677. I'm sorry. This is my job.
- 1678. L-27, roger.
- 1679. William-35, can you see if you
can raise 10-William-28 for me?
- 1680. Roger. Disregard. It was just
the information passed on.
- 1681. You were just getting warmed up.
- 1682. Yeah. I gotta go.
- 1683. Well, if this joker shows up again,
or you got your music up too loud...
- 1684. maybe we can have
another cup of coffee.
- 1685. If you're not here for a 187.
- 1686. - No. Do not joke about that, okay?
- 1687. - I seen too many of those.
- I'm sorry.
- 1688. No. It's all right. You were kidding.
- 1689. All right.
- 1690. Well, you keep your chin up
and your music down, okay?
- 1691. Yes, I will. It was nice
to meet you, Officer Jim.
- 1692. - Just Jim.
- Yeah. Good. Okay.
- 1693. - Okay. Bye-bye, Claudia.
- 1694. - What is it? Did you forget something?
- No. No, I'm...
- 1695. I was— I was wondering...
- 1696. Man, I feel like a bit of a
scumbucket doing this...
- 1697. since I came here as an
officer of the law...
- 1698. but I feel like I'd be a fool if I
didn't do something I really wanna do...
- 1699. - which is to ask you for a date.
- You wanna go on a date with me?
- 1700. - Please, yes.
- 1701. - Well, is that illegal?
- Sort of.
- 1702. Then I'd like to go.
What do you wanna do?
- 1703. I don't know. I hadn't thought about it.
That's not true. I have thought about it.
- 1704. I've been thinking since
you opened the door.
- 1705. - Really?
- 1706. I thought you were
flirting with me.
- 1707. You want to go tonight?
- 1708. I'm— No— I'm off tonight, yeah.
That would be—
- 1709. - What time?
- 8 o'clock.
- 1710. - I don't get off until 10:00.
- 10 o'clock.
- 1711. - Okay.
- 1712. - Yeah. Fine.
- Yeah. Bye.
- 1713. Frank, I'm really not
trying to attack you here.
- 1714. I think that if you have something that
needs to be cleared up, well, then...
- 1715. I was told that your
father is Earl Partridge.
- 1716. I was told that he left
you and your mother...
- 1717. and you were forced to take care of
your mother during her illness...
- 1718. that you took care of your mother
while she struggled with cancer...
- 1719. and that Miss Simms
became your caretaker...
- 1720. when your mother
finally passed away.
- 1721. Can you talk about
your mother, Frank?
- 1722. No, not true. You know what? Even
if you don't get to pump her...
- 1723. you still need to start honing
your skills on a feminist.
- 1724. - You need to do that.
- I will.
- 1725. - This is Doc.
- Doc, it's Janet.
- 1726. - What's up, Janet?
- I have to talk to Frank. Is he nearby?
- 1727. - Uh, he's in the interview, Janet.
- Interrupt him.
- 1728. - Get him on the phone with me right away.
- What happened?
- 1729. Doc, go get Frank and
put him on the phone.
- 1730. Oh, come on, Frank.
- 1731. What are you doing?
- 1732. What am I doing?
- 1733. Yeah.
- 1734. I'm quietly judging you.
- 1735. And five, four, three, two...
- 1736. Yeah?
- 1737. Oh, boy, what a day.
What a round.
- 1738. Back and in for me...
- 1739. and the final one-on-one round
to determine who's who today.
- 1740. Let's check the scores
on the board, shall we?
- 1741. Well, the kids have
an even 2000...
- 1742. and the adults are
way up with 47.
- 1743. Now, that doesn't mean that this
game is out of reach for the kids.
- 1744. - Elders, who's the lucky so-and-so?
- It's gonna be me, Jimmy.
- 1745. Come on over, Mim.
- 1746. I don't wanna go. I
can't do it this time.
- 1747. What the fuck are
you talking about?
- 1748. You have to go, Stanley.
You're the smartest.
- 1749. I don't wanna go. Why
can't one of you do it?
- 1750. If you don't fucking stand up and get
over there, I'm gonna beat your ass.
- 1751. I'm sick of being the one who
always has to do everything.
- 1752. - I don't wanna be the one always.
- Kids, I don't even have to ask.
- 1753. Stanley, get your
butt over here.
- 1754. I'm sick.
- 1755. I'm sick here now.
- 1756. I confuse melancholy with
- 1757. - Mm-hm.
- You see?
- 1758. Why don't you run along now, friend?
Your dessert is getting cold.
- 1759. - I'm sick.
- Stay that way.
- 1760. I'm sick, and I'm in love.
- 1761. You seem the sort of person
who confuses the two.
- 1762. That's right.
- 1763. That's the first time
you've been right.
- 1764. I confuse the two,
and I don't care.
- 1765. Hey. Hey!
- 1766. I love you.
- 1767. I love you, and I'm sick.
- 1768. I'll talk to you—
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- 1769. I'm getting corrective oral
surgery tomorrow, for my teeth.
- 1770. I love you, Brad.
Brad the bartender.
- 1771. If you wanna love me back,
I'll be good to you.
- 1772. I'll be goddamn good for you.
- 1773. I won't be mad if you
don't know who said what.
- 1774. I won't punish you if you
get the answer wrong.
- 1775. Brad, honey. I can
teach and tell you...
- 1776. You have a special secret
crush over there, I think.
- 1777. Don't treat him too lovely.
He might get hurt.
- 1778. - You shut up! Mind your own business.
- Gently, son.
- 1779. I know you don't love me now.
- 1780. It's a dangerous thing to
confuse children with angels.
- 1781. Wanna know the common element for
the entire group, like he asked?
- 1782. I'll tell you the answer,
because I had that one.
- 1783. I had that question.
- 1784. Uh, carbon. Carbon.
- 1785. In pencil lead, it's in
the form of graphite...
- 1786. in coal, it's mixed up
with other impurities...
- 1787. and in the diamond,
it's in hard form.
- 1788. "Well, all we really wanted to know
was the common element, Donnie..."
- 1789. but thank you for all that
unnecessary knowledge. Ha, ha.
- 1790. Kids. Heads so full
of useless knowledge.
- 1791. "Thank you. Thank you."
- 1792. The book says, "We may be
through with the past..."
- 1793. but the past is not
through with us."
- 1794. And...
- 1795. No, it is not dangerous to
confuse children with angels.
- 1796. Yeah. Okay.
- 1797. Well, that is what I wait for.
- 1798. I wait for those calls.
And I wait and I pray.
- 1799. And sometimes Jesus says:
- 1800. "Jim, I got a surprise
for you today."
- 1801. I want you to meet
this young lady, okay?
- 1802. Now, where it goes from
there is up to you.
- 1803. "And I don't think you're
gonna screw it up, okay?"
- 1804. And, God, I'm telling
you right now...
- 1805. I will not screw it up. You
gave me an opportunity.
- 1806. I'm gonna treat this
young lady right.
- 1807. I'm a happy cop.
- 1808. Yeah. It's called jaywalking.
- 1809. Uh, I'm gonna pass, Jimmy.
- 1810. Stanley, passing to one
of the other kids.
- 1811. We want Stanley to go, Jimmy.
- 1812. I don't wanna go.
- 1813. - Walking towards the elevator, Janet.
- Fine. Phil, are you still there?
- 1814. - Yeah, I'm here.
- I wanna ask you one question.
- 1815. Phil, have you talked to
anyone else about this?
- 1816. - No, I haven't.
- Good, let's keep it that way, okay?
- 1817. All the security and whatnot.
- 1818. This could be a delicate
situation for the family.
- 1819. - What's going on? What's happening?
- Doc, fuck off.
- 1820. Phil, hang in just one
more minute, okay?
- 1821. - I'm gonna put you on hold.
- Thank you.
- 1822. How close are you, Doc?
- 1823. Richard? Julia?
- 1824. Kids, what's going on?
- 1825. I need a player here
- 1826. We want Stanley to go, Jimmy, and
we're not sure why he won't.
- 1827. I always go. I always answer the questions,
and I don't wanna do it anymore.
- 1828. What the fuck is he doing?
What's wrong with him?
- 1829. I have no idea.
- 1830. - I'm getting off the elevator, Janet.
- Good. Good boy.
- 1831. I'm walking down the hall.
- 1832. This fucking kid ain't getting
up, and we don't have a show.
- 1833. Live television, ladies and germs.
- 1834. Little prick.
- 1835. - What is this, a point? A game?
- What the hell is he doing?
- 1836. Come on. Get the fuck
up, kid, come on.
- 1837. Time's up.
- 1838. So that's what you did?
You sat it out?
- 1839. You wanted my time.
I gave it to you.
- 1840. You called me a liar.
You made accusations.
- 1841. "Well, if I had known, then
I wouldn't have asked."
- 1842. So it's not an attack.
- 1843. See, I don't wanna be the sort of
fella who doesn't keep his word...
- 1844. so I gave you my
fucking time, bitch.
- 1845. - Now fuck—
- 1846. It's fucking Janet. There's
a situation on the phone.
- 1847. If you order now, you can
get Seduce and Destroy...
- 1848. plus videos and audio
cassettes, and a coupon...
- 1849. for Frank T.J.
Mackey's next seminar.
- 1850. The indecision of a
child, ladies and germs.
- 1851. This isn't funny.
- 1852. This isn't cute.
- 1853. See, the way we're looked at...
- 1854. Because I'm not a toy.
- 1855. I'm not a doll.
- 1856. The way we're looked at
because you think we're cute.
- 1857. Because what?
- 1858. What? I'm made to
feel like a freak...
- 1859. if I answer questions...
- 1860. or I'm smart...
- 1861. or I have to go to the bathroom?
- 1862. What is that, Jimmy?
- 1863. What is that?
- 1864. I'm asking— I'm
asking you that.
- 1865. I'm not sure, Stanley.
- 1866. 15-L-27, uh, I need some help.
- 1867. We have shots fired.
- 1868. It's Hamlet to Claudius.
- 1869. "The sins of the father laid upon the
children" is Merchant of Venice.
- 1870. Borrowed from Exodus 25.
- 1871. I'm sorry. I didn't know what
else you wanted me to do here.
- 1872. There was nothing—
I asked him all the right questions.
- 1873. He's his nurse. He's
sitting there with him.
- 1874. - I heard your father in the background.
- Wait. He's there at their house?
- 1875. They're at the house. I asked him the
exact address, and he gave it, Frank.
- 1876. I know this is really
hard for you right now.
- 1877. No. You gotta give me things, Janet.
Give me things.
- 1878. Give me information. I want the
information. That's what I want.
- 1879. - That's the information, Frank.
- What did he say?
- 1880. I am not gonna take care of him.
What does he want? Did he say?
- 1881. Frank, what the fuck
do you want me to do?
- 1882. - Listen.
- What I want you to do, Janet...
- 1883. is I want you to do
your fucking job!
- 1884. I am doing my
fucking job, Frank.
- 1885. You fucking get on the phone.
- 1886. I'm not a doll. I'm
not silly and cute.
- 1887. I'm smart. That should
make me something...
- 1888. so people can watch how silly
it is that he's smart!
- 1889. I know. I know things.
- 1890. I know— I know...
- 1891. I know I have to go to
the bathroom, and...
- 1892. Take us off the air.
Go to the credits.
- 1893. - Roll the credits.
- 1894. God fucking damn it!
Son of a bitch!
- 1895. What the fuck? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
- 1896. Stanley, don't do this to me!
- 1897. Gotta find the gun.
- 1898. Where is it, now?
- 1899. Where is it?
- 1900. All right. All right, let's go.
- 1901. Where is it? Find it.
- 1902. Find it.
- 1903. Find the gun, Jim!
- 1904. - What more do you want me to say?
- Just give me a second.
- 1905. You need to make a decision.
- 1906. - Look, why don't you—?
- Look, just give me a second.
- 1907. - Give me a second.
- 1908. Frank?
- 1909. What the fuck, Frank?
- 1910. What do you want me to do?
- 1911. I'm gonna say again. Order
Seduce and Destroy now...
- 1912. and I guarantee, I
- 1913. Linda.
- 1914. - What are you doing?
- I got Frank. Frank, Earl's son.
- 1915. - Hang up.
- No, he asked me to get him.
- 1916. Put the fucking phone down!
- 1917. - Hang it up! Hang it up!
- I can't! I can't!
- 1918. Frank, are you there?
- 1919. I want you to talk to him.
- 1920. Frank?
- 1921. I'm gonna put him on.
- 1922. Hang it up! You don't do that.
- 1923. You don't call him.
You don't know.
- 1924. To get involved in this business of his.
Of his— Of my family.
- 1925. This is the family. Me and him.
- 1926. - There's no one else. No one else!
- I was just—
- 1927. That man. That beautiful man...
- 1928. His son does not exist.
He's dead. He's dead.
- 1929. Who asked you to do that?
- 1930. - Earl did.
- 1931. - He did. Please, I'm sorry, he did.
- Bullshit! He didn't ask you!
- 1932. He doesn't wanna talk to him,
so fuck you that he asked that!
- 1933. There's no one but me and him!
- 1934. I'm sorry. L... He just...
He asked me.
- 1935. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 1936. Mary, take me out of here.
I got to go home to Rose.
- 1937. - Just lean on me.
- Mary, take him home.
- 1938. - In the back.
- Did we win or lose?
- 1939. I don't know. We gotta talk.
- 1940. You lost. They go to the score
the time they called it.
- 1941. - That's not an official rule.
- Not an official rule?
- 1942. - That's an official rule, baby.
- That's bullshit!
- 1943. Who says that? In what rule book?
This is different! It's a game show!
- 1944. - They don't go by fucking sports rules!
- Richard, shut it and cut it out.
- 1945. If he hadn't pissed his pants, we
would have won this motherfucker!
- 1946. What did you do with
my goddamn kid, Burt?
- 1947. Stanley! Get your fucking hands off me,
you boy-producer punk. Hey, Stanley!
- 1948. Oh, Lord, why is this
happening to me?
- 1949. God, please help
me figure it out.
- 1950. I'm lost out here.
- 1951. I don't understand why
it's happening, God.
- 1952. Please, God.
- 1953. Whatever it is I did, I'm gonna fix it.
I'm gonna do the right thing.
- 1954. Please, God, help
me find the gun.
- 1955. Uh...
- 1956. I love you.
- 1957. Uh, listen, Phil.
- 1958. Um...
- 1959. I'm sorry.
- 1960. I'm sorry I slapped your face.
- 1961. Okay? L, um...
- 1962. I don't know what I'm doing.
- 1963. I don't know how to do this.
- 1964. I do things, and I fuck up.
- 1965. I fucked up.
- 1966. Can you forgive me?
- 1967. Yeah. It's all right.
- 1968. Can you tell him I'm sorry...
- 1969. for the things that I've
done, that I fucked up?
- 1970. I'm sorry. Um...
- 1971. I'm going to turn and walk
away and not look at him...
- 1972. and not see my man, my
Earl, and tell him, uh...
- 1973. Tell him, "it's okay. I'm okay."
- 1974. Tell him, "Thank you
for taking care..."
- 1975. Whole thing is okay with me.
- 1976. And I know.
- 1977. Welcome back from the break.
- 1978. - How did you guys like those nachos?
- 1979. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, you are
not here for the fucking food.
- 1980. You are here for me to
enlighten you, to edify you...
- 1981. to send you off into the
- 1982. so come along with me.
- 1983. "How to fake like you
are nice and caring."
- 1984. No, I don't want a microphone.
- 1985. Now, this...
- 1986. Ahem, this is quite an important
chapter, as you will see.
- 1987. But let's get down to brass tacks.
Let's get right down to it, boys.
- 1988. - Men are shit.
- 1989. What? Men are shit.
- 1990. Well, isn't that what they say?
- 1991. Because we do bad things, don't we? We
do horrible, heinous, terrible things.
- 1992. Things that no woman
would ever do.
- 1993. No, women, they don't lie.
- 1994. No, women don't cheat.
- 1995. Women don't manipulate us.
- 1996. But you see what I'm getting at. Oh,
yeah, you see what I'm getting at.
- 1997. You see what society does?
Boy. Little boys, it's:
- 1998. Wow. Woman.
- 1999. - We are taught to apologize. "I am sorry."
- Give it up.
- 2000. "I am so sorry, baby.
I am so sorry."
- 2001. What is it that—?
- 2002. What is it, huh, that we need?
- 2003. Is it their pussies?
Their, uh, love?
- 2004. Mommy wouldn't let
me play soccer...
- 2005. and Daddy, oh, he hit
me, so that's who I am.
- 2006. That's why I do what I do? Heh.
- 2007. - Fucking bullshit.
- That's right.
- 2008. - I will not apologize for who I am.
- Right on.
- 2009. - I will not apologize for what I need.
- 2010. - I will not apologize for what I want!
- 2011. Okay. Go to your blue
booklets right now.
- 2012. I want you to turn to page
18 in your blue booklets.
- 2013. Fuck. This is fucking bullshit!
- 2014. I want you to go to your white—
Your white books.
- 2015. That's what I want you to go to.
- 2016. Go to 23 in your white books.
- 2017. "How to fake like you are a
nice and caring person."
- 2018. Phil. Phil.
- 2019. Hey, come here. Come here.
- 2020. Uh...
- 2021. Phil...
- 2022. I'm...
- 2023. - I'm gonna try talk.
- 2024. And I'm trying to...
- 2025. - To say something.
- 2026. Do you know Lily, Phil?
Do you know her?
- 2027. No.
- 2028. - Lily?
- No, I don't.
- 2029. Oh.
- 2030. She's my love, my life, love of it.
- 2031. In school...
- 2032. I'm 12 years old, in
school, in sixth grade.
- 2033. I saw her.
- 2034. Yeah. I didn't go to
that school, but...
- 2035. But, uh, we met.
- 2036. Uh, my friend knew her.
- 2037. I said, uh:
- 2038. "What's that girl?
How's that Lily?"
- 2039. "Oh, she's bad. She
sleeps with guys."
- 2040. Yeah, he said this, but
- 2041. And I went to another
school, you see.
- 2042. Uh, but then, uh...
- 2043. When high school at
an end, what's that?
- 2044. - What is that, uh, when it gets to the end?
- 2045. - No, no, the grade. What grade are you in?
- That's 12th.
- 2046. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- 2047. Yeah. So I went to her
school for that grade.
- 2048. That's grade 12.
- 2049. And we meet.
- 2050. She was...
- 2051. fucking like a doll.
- 2052. Yeah. A beautiful
- 2053. And the hips.
- 2054. The child-bearing
hips, you know that?
- 2055. So beautiful.
- 2056. And I cheated on her...
- 2057. over and over and over again...
- 2058. because I wanted to be a man...
- 2059. and I didn't want
her to be a woman.
- 2060. You know, a smart,
- 2061. who was something.
- 2062. My fucking mind then.
- 2063. So stupid, that fucking mind.
- 2064. Jesus Christ.
- 2065. What would I think? Did I
think for what I'd done?
- 2066. She was my wife for 23 years...
- 2067. and I went behind
her over and over.
- 2068. Fucking asshole that I am,
I'd go out and I'd fuck...
- 2069. and I'd come home and
get in her bed...
- 2070. and say, "I love you."
- 2071. This is Jack's mother.
- 2072. His mother, Lily.
- 2073. These two...
- 2074. that I had...
- 2075. and I lost.
- 2076. This is the regret
that you make.
- 2077. This is the...
- 2078. regret that you make and
the something you take...
- 2079. and the blah, blah, blah...
- 2080. Something, something.
- 2081. - Give me a cigarette.
- 2082. Uh...
- 2083. Mistakes like this...
- 2084. you don't make.
- 2085. Sometimes...
- 2086. you make some, and okay.
- 2087. Not okay, sometimes,
you make other ones.
- 2088. Yeah.
- 2089. Know that you should do better.
- 2090. I loved Lily.
- 2091. I cheated on her.
- 2092. She was my wife for 23 years.
- 2093. And I have a son.
- 2094. And she has cancer.
- 2095. And I'm not there...
- 2096. and he's forced to
take care of her.
- 2097. He's 14 years old.
- 2098. To...
- 2099. To take care of
his mother and...
- 2100. And watch her die on him.
- 2101. A little kid, and I'm not there.
- 2102. And she does die.
- 2103. I loved her so.
- 2104. And she knew what I did.
- 2105. She knew all the fucking
stupid things I'd done.
- 2106. But the love...
- 2107. was stronger than anything
you can think of.
- 2108. The goddamn regret.
- 2109. The goddamn regret!
- 2110. And I'll die.
- 2111. Now I'll die, and
I'll tell you what.
- 2112. The biggest regret of my life...
- 2113. I let my love go.
- 2114. What did I do?
- 2115. I'm 65 years old.
- 2116. And I'm ashamed.
- 2117. Million years ago...
- 2118. The fucking regret and
guilt, these things...
- 2119. Don't ever let anyone
ever say to you...
- 2120. you shouldn't regret anything.
- 2121. Don't do that. Don't. Oh.
- 2122. You regret what you fucking want.
- 2123. Use that. Use that.
- 2124. Use that regret for
anything, any way you want.
- 2125. You can use it, okay?
- 2126. Oh, God.
- 2127. This is a long way
to go with no punch.
- 2128. A little moral...
- 2129. story, I say. Ha, ha.
- 2130. Love.
- 2131. This fucking life...
- 2132. Oh...
- 2133. it's so fucking hard.
- 2134. So long.
- 2135. Life ain't short. It's long.
- 2136. It's long, God damn it.
- 2137. Goddamn.
- 2138. What did I do?
- 2139. What did I do? What did I do?
- 2140. Phil. Phil, help me.
- 2141. What did I do?
- 2142. - Hey, Juan, how you doing?
- How you feeling?
- 2143. Yeah, I think I'm going
to stay on, stick it out.
- 2144. - Are you sure?
- 2145. - Okay.
- All right, good night.
- 2146. You're so stupid.
- 2147. You know, you know, you know.
- 2148. Go, go, go.
- 2149. - Donnie. Oh, Donnie.
- Hello, dear. I need a favor.
- 2150. Okay, okay.
- 2151. Shh. All right, all right. Back
up, back up. Back up, Max.
- 2152. Back up, Miles. Back up.
- 2153. - Hello. You Frank? Jack, right?
- Hello. How are you?
- 2154. - Are you Phil?
- Phil, yeah.
- 2155. We, uh, tried to get in touch.
We got disconnected.
- 2156. Stay in, Max. Stay in.
Hey, hey, come on.
- 2157. All right? Please.
- 2158. - I got the message.
- Yeah, I couldn't find you.
- 2159. I looked through the address books.
There's no number. There's nothing.
- 2160. Shh. Hey! Is, uh,
- 2161. Linda? No, she went out.
She's not here.
- 2162. Hey, I'm sorry, uh...
- 2163. You know, I don't
know what to do here.
- 2164. Um, your dad asked me to get in touch
with you, and I didn't have the number.
- 2165. You know, I called the number.
Do you wanna come in?
- 2166. - Yeah. Hey, Phil?
- Okay. Yeah?
- 2167. I will drop-kick those fucking
dogs if they come near me.
- 2168. - All right.
- 2169. Come on in. Come on in.
This is Blake.
- 2170. - This is Miles.
- Clear them out.
- 2171. Here we go.
- 2172. All right, he's in here...
- 2173. so we all go in here. Come on.
- 2174. Wanna go in?
- 2175. - No, I just— Stand here a second, Phil.
- 2176. - Okay?
- All right.
- 2177. Lady.
- 2178. Hey, lady.
- 2179. Lady. Lady.
- 2180. Hey, wake up.
- 2181. Lady.
- 2182. What's wrong with you?
- 2183. How do we do this, then?
- 2184. Well, we just do it.
- 2185. We do it. We figure it out.
- 2186. We do as we do, I guess.
- 2187. Do you love me, Rose?
- 2188. You are my handsome man.
- 2189. - I'm a bad person.
- Ha, ha, no. No.
- 2190. I mean...
- 2191. I'm telling you this
now, you see...
- 2192. You see, because I want everything
to be clear and clean...
- 2193. and I want to apologize for me and all
the stupid things that I've done.
- 2194. I've cheated on you.
- 2195. I've cheated on you,
and it kills me...
- 2196. and the guilt of
what I've done...
- 2197. I don't want you to think—
- 2198. Maybe you knew.
- 2199. I think maybe you've known.
- 2200. So I hope this is
not just for me...
- 2201. For me to make myself feel
better about what I've done...
- 2202. but for you not to feel like
you're sitting there like a jerk.
- 2203. You're the good one.
- 2204. You understand?
- 2205. Did you ever go out with
someone and just lie...
- 2206. question after question?
- 2207. Maybe you're trying to
make yourself look cool...
- 2208. or better than you
are or whatever...
- 2209. smarter, cooler...
- 2210. and you just...
- 2211. not really lie...
- 2212. but maybe you just
don't say everything.
- 2213. Well, that's a natural thing.
- 2214. You know, two people go out
on a date or something...
- 2215. they wanna impress people.
- 2216. The other person.
- 2217. Or they're scared they
might say something...
- 2218. that will make the other
person not like them.
- 2219. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
- 2220. So you've done it?
- 2221. I don't go out very often.
- 2222. Why not?
- 2223. I never found someone, really, that
I think I'd like to go out with.
- 2224. And I bet you say that
to all the girls, huh?
- 2225. No. No. Heh.
- 2226. - Wanna make a deal with me?
- 2227. What I just said...
- 2228. people afraid to say things...
- 2229. no guts to say the things
that are real or something...
- 2230. - Yeah?
- To not do that.
- 2231. To not do that that maybe
we've done before.
- 2232. - Let's make a deal.
- 2233. I'll tell you everything, and
you tell me everything...
- 2234. and maybe we can get through all the piss
and shit and lies that kill other people.
- 2235. Wow.
- 2236. Huh. "Piss and shit."
- 2237. What?
- 2238. You really use strong language.
- 2239. I'm sorry.
- 2240. No, it's fine. It's fine.
- 2241. I didn't mean—
It seems vulgar or something, I know.
- 2242. - It's fine.
- No, I'm sorry.
- 2243. No, it's nothing. I'm sorry.
- 2244. I'm gonna run to the bathroom
for a minute, maybe, just...
- 2245. - Okay.
- 2246. - Okay. Okay.
- 2247. I'm gonna go in. And, uh...
Are the dogs in there?
- 2248. Yeah, but they stay
back by the window.
- 2249. - All right, I want you to come in with me.
- 2250. And I want you to
stay away from me.
- 2251. I want you there in case he needs anything,
because I am not gonna help him.
- 2252. And, Phil, I will drop-kick
the fucking dogs...
- 2253. - if they come near me.
- 2254. Earl.
- 2255. You don't look that bad.
- 2256. You prick.
- 2257. "Cocksucker." That's what you
used to like to say, right?
- 2258. "Cocksucker."
- 2259. But you are. You're
a cocksucker, Earl.
- 2260. It hurts, doesn't it? Huh?
- 2261. You in a lot of pain?
- 2262. She was in a lot of pain.
- 2263. Right to the end, she
was in a lot of pain.
- 2264. I know because I
was there, Earl.
- 2265. You didn't like illness,
though, do you?
- 2266. I was there.
- 2267. She waited for your call.
- 2268. For you to come.
- 2269. I am not gonna cry.
- 2270. I am not gonna cry for you.
- 2271. You cocksucker, I
know you can hear me.
- 2272. I want you to know that I
hate your fucking guts.
- 2273. You can just fucking
die, you fuck.
- 2274. And I hope it hurts. I
fucking hope it hurts.
- 2275. Yeah, her resps are down to six.
Let's get the gurney over here.
- 2276. Check that ego Come
off it, I'm a prophet
- 2277. The professor I'm gonna
teach you 'bout the worm
- 2278. Who eventually turned to catch wreck
With the neck of a long-time oppressor
- 2279. And he's running from the devil
But the debt is always gaining
- 2280. And if he's worth being hurt
He's worth bringing pain in
- 2281. Do you feel better now
that you've said this?
- 2282. I don't know.
- 2283. Well, I'm not mad.
- 2284. Well, I am, but I'm not.
- 2285. You know?
- 2286. I love you so much, Rose.
- 2287. I'm not through
asking my questions.
- 2288. Why doesn't Claudia...
- 2289. talk to you, Jimmy?
- 2290. Why?
- 2291. Because we've...
- 2292. We both don't know.
What do you mean?
- 2293. No, I think you know.
- 2294. Maybe...
- 2295. I don't.
- 2296. Say it, Jimmy.
- 2297. - I wanted to do that.
- 2298. - That felt good, to do what I wanted to do.
- 2299. Can I tell you something?
- 2300. Yeah, of course.
- 2301. I'm really nervous that
you're gonna hate me soon.
- 2302. You're gonna find stuff out about
me, and you're gonna hate me.
- 2303. No. Like what? What do you mean?
- 2304. You have so much, so
many good things...
- 2305. and you seem so together.
- 2306. You're a police officer...
- 2307. and you seem so straight and put
together, without any problems.
- 2308. - I lost my gun today.
- 2309. I lost my gun today...
- 2310. and I'm the laughingstock
of a lot of people.
- 2311. I wanted to tell you.
I wanted you to know.
- 2312. And it's on my mind.
- 2313. And it makes me
look like a fool.
- 2314. And I feel like a fool.
- 2315. And you asked that we
should say things...
- 2316. say what we're thinking
and not lie about things.
- 2317. Well, I can tell you that. This.
That I lost my gun today.
- 2318. I'm not a good cop.
- 2319. I'm looked down at,
and I know that...
- 2320. and I'm scared that once you find
that out, you might not like me.
- 2321. - Jim, that was so great.
- I'm sorry.
- 2322. What you just said.
- 2323. I haven't been on a date
since I was married, and...
- 2324. that was three years ago.
- 2325. Claudia, whatever you
wanna tell me...
- 2326. whatever you think
might scare me won't.
- 2327. And I will listen to you.
- 2328. I'll be a good listener to you if
that's what you want. You know?
- 2329. You know? And I won't judge you.
- 2330. I know I can do that
sometimes, and I won't.
- 2331. And I can listen.
- 2332. And you shouldn't be scared
of scaring me off...
- 2333. or whatever you think that
I think and on and on.
- 2334. Say it, whatever it
is, and I'll listen.
- 2335. - You don't know how fucking stupid I am.
- It's okay.
- 2336. - You don't know how crazy I am.
- It's okay.
- 2337. - I got troubles.
- I'll take everything at face value.
- 2338. - I'll be a good listener.
- I started this, didn't I? Didn't I? Fuck.
- 2339. Whatever it is, just say it.
- 2340. You wanna kiss me, Jim?
- 2341. Yes, I do.
- 2342. Say it, Jimmy.
- 2343. I think she thinks...
- 2344. that I may have molested her.
- 2345. She thinks terrible things that
somehow got into her head...
- 2346. that I may have done.
- 2347. She said that to me last
time, when it was...
- 2348. Ten years ago, she walked out the door.
"You touched me wrong. I know that."
- 2349. Some crazy thought in her—
In her head.
- 2350. Did you ever touch her?
- 2351. I don't know.
- 2352. - Jimmy.
- I don't know. I really don't.
- 2353. But you can't say.
- 2354. - Well, I don't know what I've done.
- Yes, you do. You do.
- 2355. - But you won't say.
- I don't know.
- 2356. What? What? Please. Please.
- 2357. You deserve to die alone
for what you've done.
- 2358. I don't know what I've done.
- 2359. Yes, you do.
- 2360. Rose, if I said that I
knew, would you stay?
- 2361. - No.
- But I don't know what I've done.
- 2362. You should know better.
- 2363. Now that I've met you, would you
object to never seeing me again?
- 2364. - What?
- Just say no.
- 2365. - I won't say no. Wait, Claudia.
- Just say no.
- 2366. - Claudia, what is it?
- Just let me go, Jimmy.
- 2367. - What is it? Please, please.
- Please. It's okay. Just let me go.
- 2368. Why didn't you call?
- 2369. I fucking hate you.
- 2370. God damn you, fucking asshole.
- 2371. Oh, God, you fucking asshole.
- 2372. Don't go away, you
- 2373. Oh, God, don't go away,
you fucking asshole.
- 2374. What am I doing?
- 2375. What the fuck am I doing?
What the fuck am I doing?
- 2376. Men who are vain look at
their bald spot and say:
- 2377. "You know, I don't need anything.
I look great the way I am."
- 2378. Yes. Ladies, if you want your
husband or boyfriend to—
- 2379. Oh, fuck.
- 2380. What?
- 2381. What are you doing, dummy?
- 2382. Oh, brother.
- 2383. Oh, there are frogs
falling from the sky.
- 2384. You all know you're not
gonna spend $135 for it.
- 2385. In fact, all you spend here during
this special TV promotion...
- 2386. is just $39—
- 2387. Come on. Come on.
- 2388. Claudia, it's Mom!
Open the door, honey!
- 2389. Claudia! Claudia, are you there?
- 2390. Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy!
- 2391. Oh, honey. All right.
It's all right.
- 2392. It's okay. It's
gonna be all right.
- 2393. This happens.
- 2394. This is something that happens.
- 2395. And there is the account of
the hanging of three men...
- 2396. and a scuba diver...
- 2397. and a suicide.
- 2398. There are stories of
coincidence and chance...
- 2399. and intersections, and
strange things told...
- 2400. and which is which,
and who only knows?
- 2401. And we generally say:
- 2402. "Well, if that was in a movie,
I wouldn't believe it."
- 2403. Someone's so-and-so met someone
else's so-and-so, and so on.
- 2404. And it is in the humble
opinion of this narrator...
- 2405. that strange things
happen all the time.
- 2406. And so it goes, and so it goes.
- 2407. And the book says:
- 2408. "We may be through
with the past...
- 2409. but the past ain't
through with us."
- 2410. I'm sorry, Jack.
- 2411. It's the hospital
calling about Linda.
- 2412. - Who?
- Linda. She's in the hospital...
- 2413. and I figured you should probably
talk to them since you're here.
- 2414. Hello?
- 2415. Uh-huh. And what—
- 2416. Okay. Okay.
- 2417. Uh...
- 2418. Is she gonna be all right?
- 2419. Where...?
- 2420. You with us, Linda? Good.
- 2421. It is Linda, isn't it?
- 2422. Just relax. That's it.
- 2423. You'll get through this.
- 2424. Dad.
- 2425. Dad.
- 2426. Dad, you need to be nicer to me.
- 2427. Go to bed.
- 2428. You have to be nicer to me, Dad.
- 2429. Go to bed.
- 2430. I know I did a stupid thing.
- 2431. So stupid.
- 2432. Getting braces.
- 2433. I thought...
- 2434. I thought he would love me.
- 2435. Getting braces.
- 2436. For what?
- 2437. For something I don't even...
- 2438. I don't know where to
put things, you know?
- 2439. I really do have love to give.
- 2440. I just don't know
where to put it.
- 2441. A lot of people think this is
just a job that you go to.
- 2442. Take a lunch hour. Job's over.
- 2443. Something like that.
- 2444. But it's a 24-hour deal.
- 2445. No two ways about it.
- 2446. And what most
people don't see...
- 2447. is just how hard it is
to do the right thing.
- 2448. People think if I make
a judgment call...
- 2449. that that's a judgment on them,
but that is not what I do.
- 2450. And that's not what
should be done.
- 2451. I have to take everything...
- 2452. and play as it lays.
- 2453. Sometimes people
need a little help.
- 2454. Supposed to be real good at
corrective oral surgery.
- 2455. Sometimes people
need to be forgiven.
- 2456. And sometimes they
need to go to jail.
- 2457. Call me about that guy
with the teeth, okay?
- 2458. And that is a very tricky
thing on my part...
- 2459. making that call.
- 2460. I mean, the law is the law...
- 2461. and heck if I'm gonna break it.
- 2462. You can forgive someone.
- 2463. Well, that's the tough part.
- 2464. What can we forgive?
- 2465. Tough part of the job.
- 2466. Tough part of walking
down the street.
- 2467. I just wanted to come here...
- 2468. To come here and say something.
- 2469. Say something important.
Something that you said.
- 2470. You said we should say
things and do things.
- 2471. Not lie, not keep things back.
- 2472. These are the things
that tear people up.
- 2473. Well, I'm gonna do that.
- 2474. I'm gonna do what
you said, Claudia.
- 2475. I can't let this go.
- 2476. I can't let you go.
- 2477. Now, you...
- 2478. You listen to me now.
- 2479. You're a good person.
- 2480. A good, beautiful person...
- 2481. and I won't let you
walk out on me.
- 2482. I won't let you
say those things.
- 2483. Those things about how stupid
you are and this and that.
- 2484. I won't stand for that.
- 2485. You want to be with me...
- 2486. then you be with me.
- 2487. You see?