1. Shh.Copy !req
2. Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting rabbits.Copy !req
3. I am a duck bent on self-preservationum.Copy !req
4. Say your prayers, rabbit.
It's rabbit season.Copy !req
5. - Duck season.
- Rabbit season!Copy !req
6. - Duck season.
- Rabbit season!Copy !req
7. Rabbit season.Copy !req
8. Duck season! Fire!Copy !req
9. Fire!Copy !req
10. Hold everything.Copy !req
11. "Daffy gets blasted." Mm-hm.
Page 7: "Daffy gets blasted."Copy !req
12. Aha. Page 8: "Daffy gets blasted again!"Copy !req
13. What's the matter with you people?
We can't do this kind of stuff anymore.Copy !req
14. Brothers Warner...Copy !req
15. show biz legends like me
shouldn't have to play stooge...Copy !req
16. to that long-eared,
carrot-chomping, overbite-challenged...Copy !req
17. What's up, doc?Copy !req
18. Hey, Bobby, how's the wife?Copy !req
19. Great nose job, Chuck. Thanks, girls.Copy !req
20. Good rug, Mel. Never would have guessed.Copy !req
21. - Pardon me.
- The pleasure is mine.Copy !req
22. Fellas, I think Daff's right.
Maybe I'll take a vacation.Copy !req
23. Go visit my 542 nieces and nephews.Copy !req
24. Mr. Duck, excuse me, I'm sorry.Copy !req
25. I don't see how we can have
a Bugs Bunny movie without Bugs Bunny.Copy !req
26. Oh, my heavens, no.Copy !req
27. You couldn't have a movie
without Bugs Bunny.Copy !req
28. And if you don't mind me asking,
whose glorified personal assistant are you?Copy !req
29. Kate Houghton, Vice President, Comedy.Copy !req
30. Right.Copy !req
31. Kate did Lethal Weapon Babies.Copy !req
32. Finally, a Lethal Weapon
that I can take my grandchildren to.Copy !req
33. Um, gentlemen, check your phones.Copy !req
34. Our latest research shows
that Bugs Bunny is a core asset...Copy !req
35. that appeals to male and female,
young and old throughout the universe...Copy !req
36. while your fan base
is limited to angry fat guys in basements.Copy !req
37. Yeah, but... Come on, fellas,
I'm thrice the entertainer the rabbit is!Copy !req
38. Fine, he's hilarious...Copy !req
39. but moviegoers these days
demand action heroes, like me!Copy !req
40. Top that, rabbit.Copy !req
41. So it has come to this, has it?Copy !req
42. I'm afraid
the Brothers Warner must choose...Copy !req
43. between a handsome matinee idol...Copy !req
44. or this miscreant perpetrator
of low burlesque.Copy !req
45. Whichever one's not the duck.Copy !req
46. Hey, that's the stuff from my office.Copy !req
47. - You don't have one.
- Not anymore.Copy !req
48. Symbolically, this is bad.Copy !req
49. Please, brother. Other brother?Copy !req
50. Icy she-wolf? Help me, please.Copy !req
51. I'm too moist and tender to retire.Copy !req
52. - Let me escort you out.
- Wait!Copy !req
53. I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing,
or butt-kissing yet.Copy !req
54. I'm still begging here!Copy !req
55. Freeze!Copy !req
56. Can I try that again?Copy !req
57. No, thank you. We'll call you.Copy !req
58. - Sir.
- Hey, D.J. How did your tryout go?Copy !req
59. Well, let's see.
Uh, I can say I made an impression.Copy !req
60. Your father can get you a job
anytime he wants to.Copy !req
61. I know, but I don't want that.
I'd really rather earn it, sir.Copy !req
62. - Mr. Warner mentioned you this morning.
- He did? What did he say?Copy !req
63. He said don't forget the TurtleWax.Copy !req
64. What about animation?
I could do cartoons.Copy !req
65. Dead duck walking.Copy !req
66. - Morning, Mr. Bunny.
- Very hot now.Copy !req
67. And I do voices. Listen.Copy !req
68. - Excuse me.
- Hmm?Copy !req
69. "Fetch the stick, boy."Copy !req
70. "What a maroon."Copy !req
71. "You can't handle the truth."Copy !req
72. Unh. Some grip, lady.Copy !req
73. I need you to eject this duck.Copy !req
74. - Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
- Exactly.Copy !req
75. - Not anymore. We own the name.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
76. You can't stop me from calling myself...Copy !req
77. - What do you know?
- You fired Daffy Duck?Copy !req
78. No, I didn't. Well, I did. They did.Copy !req
79. You just were following orders.Copy !req
80. You know what? You don't know me.Copy !req
81. You're Kate Houghton,
you're the VP of Comedy. Go figure.Copy !req
82. You drive a red 1988 Alfa Romeo.
Good engine. Little under-driven.Copy !req
83. I know this
because you nearly ran me over last week.Copy !req
84. Anyway, um, about that duck,
you want me to get rid of him still?Copy !req
85. Hmm?Copy !req
86. - Duck, yes. Eject the duck, please.
- I can't do that.Copy !req
87. - Why not?
- He's gone.Copy !req
88. What are you waiting for, backup?Copy !req
89. - Daffy!
- Look, Mommy, there's Daffy.Copy !req
90. Shabby job so far, constable.Copy !req
91. Quick! After me!Copy !req
92. Now you're gonna pay for that one.
Come here!Copy !req
93. - Dress Inspector!
- Look out!Copy !req
94. One side, Spartacuses.Copy !req
95. - Come on.
- Daffy, stop!Copy !req
96. Cut him off at the pass, boys.Copy !req
97. All units in pursuit of little black duck.Copy !req
98. Well, that's just cheating.Copy !req
99. Daffy!Copy !req
100. Come here!Copy !req
101. Autumn in fake New YorkCopy !req
102. Don't follow me.Copy !req
103. That's not right. Cut. Cut!Copy !req
104. That's lunch, everybody!Copy !req
105. - That airbag cost a lot of money.
- I'm okay. I'm okay.Copy !req
106. Good morning. Batman, you good?Copy !req
107. All right.Copy !req
108. My chariot awaits.Copy !req
109. Yes!Copy !req
110. Bat-lights. Bat-conditioning. Bat-stereo.Copy !req
111. To the Duck Cave.Copy !req
112. - Now what are you doing?
- Hey.Copy !req
113. - Stay away from that Batmobile!
- Come here.Copy !req
114. I'm allowed to steal. I'm a celebrity.Copy !req
115. Tell it to the judge!Copy !req
116. - Feeling pretty good about yourself?
- I am.Copy !req
117. - You bested that dastardly duck?
- I did.Copy !req
118. And now you're gonna offer your catch
to the pretty executive?Copy !req
119. Indeed.Copy !req
120. Miss Houghton!Copy !req
121. Get out of the way!Copy !req
122. Look out!Copy !req
123. Hey, what do you know? I found Nemo.Copy !req
124. I think she likes you.Copy !req
125. Oops.Copy !req
126. Your father would be so ashamed of you.Copy !req
127. But I was... It was...Copy !req
128. At first, they told me to lose the stutter.
Now they tell me I'm not funny.Copy !req
129. It's a pain in the butt
being politically correct.Copy !req
130. You're telling me.Copy !req
131. What kind of performance
do you call that?Copy !req
132. You made me sound
like a total space cadet, man.Copy !req
133. I'm sorry you feel that way.
I was trying to be real to your character.Copy !req
134. If you, like, goof on me in the sequel,
I'm coming after you.Copy !req
135. Yeah, and I'll give you a Scooby Snack!Copy !req
136. There are some areas of the script
I think we need to address.Copy !req
137. There's no heart, no cooperation,
nobody learns anything.Copy !req
138. Daffy learns not to stick his head
in a jet engine.Copy !req
139. - He's gone.
- No, Daffy always comes back.Copy !req
140. I just tell him how much I need him.Copy !req
141. We hug, we cry,
I drop something heavy on him, I laugh.Copy !req
142. The duck is history, okay?
So the question is...Copy !req
143. how can I help you
reposition your brand identity?Copy !req
144. We team you up
with a hot female co-star.Copy !req
145. Usually...Copy !req
146. I play the female love interest.Copy !req
147. Hello, my baby Hello, my honeyCopy !req
148. About the cross-dressing thing?
In the past, funny. Today, disturbing.Copy !req
149. Lady, if you don't
find a rabbit with lipstick amusing...Copy !req
150. you and I have
nothing to say to each other.Copy !req
151. Look, I'm trying to be nice...Copy !req
152. but I was brought in
to leverage your synergy...Copy !req
153. and I am not going to let you
or some wacky duck...Copy !req
154. Daffy.Copy !req
155. Wacky, daffy, nutty, fruitcake,
crispy over rice, it doesn't matter.Copy !req
156. Well, these matter.Copy !req
157. And this.Copy !req
158. And they say we get Daffy back.
Right, boys?Copy !req
159. - We want Daffy!
- Bring him back!Copy !req
160. We love Daffy!Copy !req
161. Little Damian.Copy !req
162. Hey, Granny.Copy !req
163. Hi, Tweety.Copy !req
164. How was work today?Copy !req
165. Eventful.Copy !req
166. What a nice young man.Copy !req
167. Guess who? So did you miss me?Copy !req
168. - Hey.
- I'm glad I was fired.Copy !req
169. In a few days,
they'll be kissing my befeathered rump...Copy !req
170. begging me to come back. But I won't.Copy !req
171. Did I miss the part where I invited you in?Copy !req
172. I'll be too busy accepting numerous,
multiple offers.Copy !req
173. Every studio in town will... Hey.Copy !req
174. Who am I kidding? My career is over.Copy !req
175. Perhaps I was being too polite. Get out!Copy !req
176. I'll starve. I'll have
to eat envelope glue.Copy !req
177. Wait, a sushi bar.Copy !req
178. No!Copy !req
179. - Daffy.
- Yes.Copy !req
180. Leave my father's house. Now.Copy !req
181. You live with Daddy?Copy !req
182. Yeah, so?
Just, you know, kind of temporarily.Copy !req
183. I've hit rock bottom.Copy !req
184. I'm hanging out with a security guard
who lives with his father.Copy !req
185. My grease and gravy!
Your dad is Damian Drake.Copy !req
186. - The super spy.
- He's an actor who plays a spy.Copy !req
187. - And that? That was his I Spy Award.
- Ingenious.Copy !req
188. An actor playing a super spy as a cover
for being a super spy playing an actor.Copy !req
189. In fact, I'll bet this whole dump
is a super spy lair.Copy !req
190. Nothing is as it seems.Copy !req
191. You know, you're probably protected by
an invisible force field right this minute.Copy !req
192. Aha! The force field-penetrating apple.Copy !req
193. Just feel free to continue
your delusional ranting...Copy !req
194. while I answer my...Copy !req
195. Remote?Copy !req
196. Hello?Copy !req
197. Hmm.Copy !req
198. - Son?
- Dad?Copy !req
199. What are you doing in the painting?Copy !req
200. I wanted to keep you out of this,
but there's no one else I can trust.Copy !req
201. - There he is. Stop him!
- Can you hold on a second?Copy !req
202. Are you shooting a movie or something?Copy !req
203. A new Damian Drake movie? Cool.Copy !req
204. Come to Las Vegas.Copy !req
205. Ask Dusty Tails for the Blue Monkey.Copy !req
206. The Blue Monkey? What's a Blue Monkey?Copy !req
207. A diamond. A very special diamond.Copy !req
208. Find Dusty Tails.Copy !req
209. Hey!Copy !req
210. Dad, you need me
to call the police or something?Copy !req
211. Uh-oh.Copy !req
212. - No. No police.
- Dad, are you all right?Copy !req
213. I'm sorry I never told you this before,
but I...Copy !req
214. - Dad?
- Diamond? I'm rich!Copy !req
215. - I've joined the leisure class.
- I gotta go save my dad.Copy !req
216. Oh, yeah. Your dad, yeah.
So count me in. A spy caper.Copy !req
217. Double agents, exploding bikinis,
tigers hanging from helicopters!Copy !req
218. I'm through with show biz!Copy !req
219. From now on,
I'm gonna live the adventure.Copy !req
220. - Next stop, Las Vegas.
- I'll take my dad's old car.Copy !req
221. - Ah, a super spy car. Let's ride.
- This isn't a spy car.Copy !req
222. Heh. Your dad is a spy.
Ipso ergo, a spy car.Copy !req
223. I used to deliver pizzas in this car.Copy !req
224. Secret pizzas?Copy !req
225. A spy pie, maybe?Copy !req
226. Fine, be that way.
But it's definitely a spy car!Copy !req
227. A little help here?Copy !req
228. Ducks.Copy !req
229. - Hey.
- Aah!Copy !req
230. You know how I know it's a spy car?Copy !req
231. Because it looks
absolutely nothing like a spy car.Copy !req
232. I don't think this routine
is gonna work without Daffy, but, uh...Copy !req
233. Action.Copy !req
234. Say your prayers, rabbit.
It's rabbit season.Copy !req
235. - Duck season.
- Rabbit season.Copy !req
236. - Duck season.
- Rabbit season.Copy !req
237. - Rabbit season.
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
238. See, I told you
this wasn't gonna work without...Copy !req
239. Can we do another take, please?Copy !req
240. Oh, pain. Oh, agony!Copy !req
241. - Ahh.
- You're fired.Copy !req
242. What?Copy !req
243. - But you...
- You got rid of our best duck.Copy !req
244. You can't fire me.Copy !req
245. My films have made $950 million!Copy !req
246. - That's not a billion.
- Nope. Not a billion.Copy !req
247. Okay.Copy !req
248. All right.Copy !req
249. I think we can all agree that the decision
to get rid of Daffy was a poor one.Copy !req
250. But it's time to move on.Copy !req
251. And by move on, I mean reversing course
and getting Daffy back.Copy !req
252. By Monday.Copy !req
253. I will have Daffy back on Monday.Copy !req
254. That went well.Copy !req
255. Listen, doll face, if I know Daffy,
he's already hit the road by now.Copy !req
256. Ah, it's good to stretch.Copy !req
257. I'm getting really tired
of throwing you out of the car.Copy !req
258. That's my plan in a nutshell. Ha, ha.Copy !req
259. Now, listen, if we run into anything
that requires super spy skills...Copy !req
260. like cracking wise, smooching dames,
you better leave that to me.Copy !req
261. However, if we have
any security guarding needs...Copy !req
262. Very funny, duck. I'm not a security guard.Copy !req
263. For your information, it's just a job.
It's what I do for money.Copy !req
264. - Mm-hm.
- What I really do is...Copy !req
265. - I'm a stuntman.
- Ha!Copy !req
266. - You? A stuntman? Please.
- I am!Copy !req
267. Did you see those Mummy movies?
I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is.Copy !req
268. No, he couldn't stand that.Copy !req
269. One day he decides that, "No, no, no!
The Bren-master does all his own stunts!"Copy !req
270. Listen, muscles, if this heap ever makes it
to Vegas, I'll do all the stunts.Copy !req
271. Duck here.Copy !req
272. - Daffy, old chum, how the heck...
- Cram it down your rabbit hole.Copy !req
273. I think I can get you your old job back
with less of a pay cut than usual.Copy !req
274. So not interested.Copy !req
275. I'm off to Las Vegas
with my new sidekick D.J...Copy !req
276. to match wits with spies and showgirls.Copy !req
277. It's a little adventure I call:Copy !req
278. "Daffy Duck's Quest for the Blue Monkey."Copy !req
279. And you're not in it.Copy !req
280. Blue Monkey?Copy !req
281. Blue Monkey?Copy !req
282. It's a little adventure I call:Copy !req
283. "Daffy Duck's Quest for the Blue Monkey."Copy !req
284. This is unacceptable!Copy !req
285. We cannot have 9-year-olds working
in sweatshops making ACME sneakers...Copy !req
286. not when 3-year-olds
work for so much less.Copy !req
287. - Yes.
- But, sir, they require naps.Copy !req
288. Put double espresso in their sippy cups.Copy !req
289. What's next on the agenda?Copy !req
290. Where's my people? What's coming up?
What's the next thing? Aah!Copy !req
291. Thank you, Bob.Copy !req
292. Grave news, my friends.Copy !req
293. Direct your attention to the video screen.Copy !req
294. Cable, input, VCR, satellite.Copy !req
295. I love to sing-a
About the moon-a and the...Copy !req
296. Input, satellite,
tape, menu, rewind...Copy !req
297. power, on.Copy !req
298. Well, it seems that Damian Drake's son
knows about the Blue Monkey...Copy !req
299. and he is on his way to Las Vegas.Copy !req
300. He must not find the location
of the diamond before we do.Copy !req
301. How is the interrogation going?Copy !req
302. He's about ready to crack, boss!Copy !req
303. Cable, input, VCR and satellite, off.Copy !req
304. We cannot let the good guys
win this time, people.Copy !req
305. We must capture this son of a spy...Copy !req
306. and we must locate the diamond...Copy !req
307. and use its powers
for our own diabolical ends!Copy !req
308. - Copy that to all departments.
- I didn't quite get that.Copy !req
309. Didn't quite...Copy !req
310. Uh, something about
capturing the son of a spy...Copy !req
311. and using the diamond's power
for our diabolical ends.Copy !req
312. Be sure and use the laugh.
I like the laugh. Don't you?Copy !req
313. - And what is your name?
- Mary.Copy !req
314. Well, Mary...Copy !req
315. how'd you like to do
a little kissing later?Copy !req
316. That's what they all say at first.Copy !req
317. Soon the ACME Corporation
will tower over all of creation!Copy !req
318. All of creation!Copy !req
319. - ACME.
- ACME.Copy !req
320. - ACME.
- ACME.Copy !req
321. Wait a minute.Copy !req
322. - Yes?
- What about the duck?Copy !req
323. Extra crispy.Copy !req
324. Hello?Copy !req
325. Hello.Copy !req
326. Hello?Copy !req
327. D.J., I'm not here to fire you again.Copy !req
328. I just want to know
if that duck told you where he was going.Copy !req
329. - Doesn't anyone knock anymore?
- Why are you torturing me?Copy !req
330. What have I ever done that...Copy !req
331. Great.Copy !req
332. I just fired the son of our biggest star.Copy !req
333. This has been a career-making day, Kate.Copy !req
334. First you get rid of the duck
that everybody hates...Copy !req
335. but then, of course,
they all want him back.Copy !req
336. And worst of all,
you get into a big fight with Bugs Bunny...Copy !req
337. who you revere and who you've tried
to model your life after.Copy !req
338. Oh, I hate to see a grown man cry.Copy !req
339. Especially when it's a girl.Copy !req
340. Listen, toots,
would it stop the waterworks...Copy !req
341. if I told you Daffy was going
to Las Vegas with that guy D.J.?Copy !req
342. It might.Copy !req
343. Well, then,
how's about we travel in style in this?Copy !req
344. Las Vegas, Jeeves.Copy !req
345. Taking you to Las Vegas.Copy !req
346. Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fireCopy !req
347. Got a whole lot of money that's ready
to burn So get those stakes up higherCopy !req
348. So Viva Las VegasCopy !req
349. Viva Las VegasCopy !req
350. Viva Viva Las VegasCopy !req
351. You've got no music in your soul, sister.Copy !req
352. I am aware of that, yes.Copy !req
353. He sure went for all the extras.
What a maroon.Copy !req
354. Don't touch anything.
This is Damian Drake's car...Copy !req
355. - Let's see.
- No!Copy !req
356. What does this one do?Copy !req
357. Shaken, not stirred, sir.Copy !req
358. It's 5:00 somewhere.Copy !req
359. - If you touch one more thing...
- Shh. I'm about to defy you.Copy !req
360. - Now you done it.
- Arms at your side, please.Copy !req
361. Formalwear activated.Copy !req
362. Enh, you clean up nice, kid.Copy !req
363. - Oh, no!
- So...Copy !req
364. VivaCopy !req
365. Viva Las VegasCopy !req
366. Woo-hoo! Las Vegas!Copy !req
367. Smell that, D.J.?Copy !req
368. That's the sweet aroma
of money, glamour...Copy !req
369. and busload upon busload
of senior citizens.Copy !req
370. Cool it, duck
This could be dangerous.Copy !req
371. Right, we find Dusty Tails,
save your dad, get the diamond...Copy !req
372. apply kung fu liberally as needed.Copy !req
373. Under no circumstances
are you to allow...Copy !req
374. the young Mr. Drake and his duck cohort
out of the casino in one piece.Copy !req
375. - Is that clear?
- Okay.Copy !req
376. You want the varmints
and what they come for.Copy !req
377. I got you. But what's in it for old Sam?Copy !req
378. I got you.Copy !req
379. Did you know that Dusty Tails sang the
theme song to six Damian Drake movies?Copy !req
380. I know. He's my father.Copy !req
381. - Your dad is Damian Drake?
- Yes!Copy !req
382. I'm kidding, relax. We did that.Copy !req
383. I say, listen up, y'all.Copy !req
384. Please put your greasy,
buffet-shoveling hands together...Copy !req
385. for our next act.Copy !req
386. If you've heard her before,
you're not here now.Copy !req
387. So, I say, let me introduce you...Copy !req
388. to Miss Dusty Tails.Copy !req
389. If you want it to be good, boy
Get yourself a bad girlCopy !req
390. If you want it to be wild
Gotta know just who to dial, babyCopy !req
391. That's meCopy !req
392. If you really like it hot
Get someone who hits the spot, honeyCopy !req
393. Oh, yeahCopy !req
394. Hey. Dusty! Hey. Dusty.Copy !req
395. Dusty, can I talk to you?Copy !req
396. Dusty.Copy !req
397. Then get yourself a bad girl
Bad girlCopy !req
398. If you really want it...Copy !req
399. What the...?Copy !req
400. Get yourself a bad girlCopy !req
401. Bad girl A bad girlCopy !req
402. Get it like you could, babyCopy !req
403. What?Copy !req
404. Dusty, I gotta talk to you.Copy !req
405. - I'm Damian Drake's son, D.J.
- What?Copy !req
406. How do I know it's you?Copy !req
407. Oh. You are Damian's son.Copy !req
408. Is there someplace we can talk?Copy !req
409. - Excuse me, I have to change.
- Okay, toots, hand over the diamond.Copy !req
410. - He brought a goose?
- It's duck, thank you.Copy !req
411. - Uh, hi, uh...
- You again.Copy !req
412. Listen up, you darn imbeciles!Copy !req
413. We gotta get them varmints
and what they come for!Copy !req
414. - And then we blast them?
- Then we blast them.Copy !req
415. Now if I were a giant diamond,
where would I be? Ow.Copy !req
416. - Well, not there.
- So...Copy !req
417. - my, uh, dad's in trouble...
- Not here.Copy !req
418. And, uh, he said that
I should ask you about the Blue Monkey.Copy !req
419. - So then you know?
- Definitely. Yes.Copy !req
420. I figured something must have happened
when he didn't show up.Copy !req
421. I'm sorry,
but that's what comes with being a spy.Copy !req
422. So you're, um, a spy too?Copy !req
423. Heh. The pop diva thing?
That's just one side of me.Copy !req
424. I also work for the Agency.
Professional assassin.Copy !req
425. It's really hard
trying to juggle the two sometimes.Copy !req
426. I don't know what I'm gonna do
when I have kids.Copy !req
427. Do you know how hard it is to find a nanny
with advanced weapons training?Copy !req
428. Woo-hoo. How many galoshes died
to make that little number?Copy !req
429. What about this Blue Monkey?Copy !req
430. Your father was assigned to track it down
before the chairman could.Copy !req
431. The diamond has supernatural powers.Copy !req
432. It would be a disaster
if it fell into the wrong hands.Copy !req
433. I was supposed to give him this.Copy !req
434. This is not a king-sized diamond.
This is a queen of diamonds.Copy !req
435. What kind of sick joke is this?Copy !req
436. - Can I have that?
- Very funny.Copy !req
437. That is so sweet.Copy !req
438. You trying to take over for your father.Copy !req
439. These evil forces? They're bad people.Copy !req
440. Relax, sister. I don't know
the meaning of the word "fear."Copy !req
441. Say your prayers, duck!Copy !req
442. Noun. A state of terror. Aah!Copy !req
443. Incoming!Copy !req
444. This mission
needs years of experience and training.Copy !req
445. Maybe. I ain't got time for that right now.
I gotta go save my dad.Copy !req
446. Don't lose that card. It's important.Copy !req
447. After him, boys!Copy !req
448. Easy on the feathers.Copy !req
449. Come back here, you card-carrying coyotes!Copy !req
450. Dadburn slapstick cliché!Copy !req
451. Faster! Climb like my life depended on it.Copy !req
452. You run, I'll steer.Copy !req
453. - Right! I mean, left. Your other left.
- Daffy!Copy !req
454. That's what I'm talking about!Copy !req
455. Is that all you got?Copy !req
456. That's gonna leave a mark.Copy !req
457. That's not boxing. Bite his ear!Copy !req
458. Left and a right and a
left and a right-left!Copy !req
459. I'm gonna come up on you.Copy !req
460. I'll take that playing card.Copy !req
461. - After it, stunt boy.
- Man.Copy !req
462. Jump. Jump!Copy !req
463. All right, I say,
place your bets, gentlemen.Copy !req
464. Money plays, loser stays.
Everyone's a winner... Well, not everyone.Copy !req
465. Here's my money. Now play.Copy !req
466. - Card, sir?
- Hit me.Copy !req
467. Don't you want to
look at your cards first, son?Copy !req
468. Boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.Copy !req
469. - Hit me.
- No, hit me first!Copy !req
470. I said await your turn, sir.Copy !req
471. Hit me.Copy !req
472. Hit me.Copy !req
473. Hit me. Hit me.Copy !req
474. - Hit me.
- Hit me.Copy !req
475. - Hit me.
- No, hit me, fragnabbit!Copy !req
476. - He's the boss.
- You son of a...Copy !req
477. Card, sir?Copy !req
478. Hit me.Copy !req
479. Twenty-one, a winner!Copy !req
480. Let's go!Copy !req
481. "And then they made their heroic escape!"Copy !req
482. I say we do Cirque du Soleil
and call it a night.Copy !req
483. How about the Liberace Museum?Copy !req
484. All right, let's see what this baby
can really do.Copy !req
485. Now, that's an interesting feature.Copy !req
486. Come back, you absconders!Copy !req
487. - Aah!
- Watch yourself, ma'am.Copy !req
488. I love this rug.Copy !req
489. - Hey, come back here, you varmints!
- Run. Move. Go.Copy !req
490. Nice car.Copy !req
491. Don't hit me.Copy !req
492. It's a modified Chevrolet
with a big 24 on the side.Copy !req
493. Out of the way, fancy boy.
I'm a-commandeering this here clown car.Copy !req
494. After them, boys!Copy !req
495. Shotgun!Copy !req
496. Rag-flagging ragtag sidekicks!Copy !req
497. Slow down, will you? I'm waddling here.Copy !req
498. Come back, you darn idiot galoots!Copy !req
499. There's gotta be 314 hotels
and 142 casinos in Las Vegas.Copy !req
500. We are never going to find that duck.Copy !req
501. Heh. Daff never misses a cue.Copy !req
502. - What's up, duck?
- Don't you start with me.Copy !req
503. Excuse me.Copy !req
504. - You.
- You.Copy !req
505. - You.
- Him.Copy !req
506. - Her.
- Them!Copy !req
507. Out of my way!Copy !req
508. Dagnabbit!Copy !req
509. - You are in big trouble, mister.
- Agreed!Copy !req
510. Out!Copy !req
511. What are you doing, kidnapping me?
Stop the car.Copy !req
512. This is my adventure, bub.Copy !req
513. - Coming through.
- Aah!Copy !req
514. So, what brings you to Las Vegas?
You ran out of people to fire in L.A.?Copy !req
515. You stole my duck.Copy !req
516. - Your duck? Bah! I belong to the world.
- You know what? You can have him.Copy !req
517. Dynamite? Who has dynamite?Copy !req
518. Welcome to my world.Copy !req
519. Hang on.Copy !req
520. Throw it out the window.
Throw it out!Copy !req
521. - But innocent people could be hurt.
- Throw it out the window!Copy !req
522. It will send the wrong message
to children.Copy !req
523. Didn't he used to be behind us?Copy !req
524. We're having duck tonight, boys. Ha, ha.Copy !req
525. Just a suggestion, but all those in favor
of not hitting that wall say "aye."Copy !req
526. - Aye!
- Mother.Copy !req
527. Taking you to Mother.Copy !req
528. Uh-oh.Copy !req
529. Look, a shooting star.
Quick, everybody make a wish.Copy !req
530. You know, I'm beginning to think
that this one is the spy car.Copy !req
531. What?Copy !req
532. ETA to Mother, 10 minutes.Copy !req
533. Please return your
seatbacks to their upright position.Copy !req
534. So, what are your plans now, if I may ask?Copy !req
535. Daffy will save us. He's the hero.Copy !req
536. All right, bucktooth. Stick a carrot in it.Copy !req
537. Everybody calm down, all right?
I can handle this.Copy !req
538. Sell my Warner Bros. Stock.Copy !req
539. I got an inside tip
that Bugs Bunny is about to die.Copy !req
540. Huh. Out of gas.Copy !req
541. What? It doesn't work like that.Copy !req
542. Thanks, toots.Copy !req
543. - Enh, carrot?
- No, thanks.Copy !req
544. You really think that playing card
is going to help you rescue your father?Copy !req
545. Mm-hm. Yeah, I do.Copy !req
546. Heh. You know this all
sounds insane, right?Copy !req
547. I remember the first time
I saw your dad in the movies.Copy !req
548. - Yeah.
- So breathtaking.Copy !req
549. Your hair smells nice.Copy !req
550. - Hmm? You say something?
- No, just, um, saying good night.Copy !req
551. I'm telling you, Daffy...Copy !req
552. I heard the Warner Brothers say
you were their best duck.Copy !req
553. Flattered though I may be,
flattened I will not...Copy !req
554. in order for you to get the laughs.Copy !req
555. It's all: Hoo-hoo! Yuk, yuk.Copy !req
556. And then: Bam! Wham! Bam!Copy !req
557. - And your tail is on fire.
- Exactly my point.Copy !req
558. No, really, your tail's on fire.Copy !req
559. Ha, ha. Daff, you're accident-prone.Copy !req
560. What am I talking to you for?Copy !req
561. All you have to do is munch on a carrot,
and people love you.Copy !req
562. I need you to move my 12:00 appointment
up to 2:00 and then back to 1I1:00.Copy !req
563. Then just cancel it. And I need you
to get a helicopter and, uh...Copy !req
564. No, don't put me on hold.Copy !req
565. Oh, God.Copy !req
566. I can't die out here.Copy !req
567. This wasn't the plan.Copy !req
568. After this comedy...Copy !req
569. I promised myself
I would only do real movies...Copy !req
570. about the human condition
crammed with social relevance.Copy !req
571. There's nothing but a big rock
for 1I0 miles in that, that...Copy !req
572. that, and that direction.Copy !req
573. I say we go that way.Copy !req
574. Say, who are you kidding here?
We're goners!Copy !req
575. Water! I can't die now.Copy !req
576. Think of the millions of children
who want me to have the diamond.Copy !req
577. The poor children!Copy !req
578. Look at that.Copy !req
579. Is it a mirage? Or just product placement?Copy !req
580. Who cares? With shopping convenience
at such low prices.Copy !req
581. Water, Fresca, Mountain Dew.
Your product name here.Copy !req
582. Is this your idea?Copy !req
583. The audience expects it.Copy !req
584. They don't even notice
this kind of thing anymore.Copy !req
585. Nice of Wal-Mart
to provide these Wal-Mart beverages...Copy !req
586. in return for us saying "Wal-Mart"
so many times.Copy !req
587. Where's Yosemite Sam?Copy !req
588. - What is your report?
- Boss, it wasn't me.Copy !req
589. That razzan-frazzan duck
and that crazy son D.J...Copy !req
590. and a humina-humina Dusty Tails.Copy !req
591. You know, that makes a lot of sense.Copy !req
592. Thank you.Copy !req
593. Mr. Drake, are you going to save us
the bother of eliminating your son?Copy !req
594. My son is going to kick your evil butt.Copy !req
595. - Mr. Chairman.
- Yes, Dad.Copy !req
596. - Desert operative.
- No.Copy !req
597. Not a bad idea, Dad.Copy !req
598. Our desert operative is due for a win.Copy !req
599. I told you we should have
made that left turn at Albuquerque.Copy !req
600. Don't start that again.Copy !req
601. All right. Here's the plan.Copy !req
602. We wait here for the next truck or car
or camel or whatever...Copy !req
603. and take Bugs and Daffy...Copy !req
604. get back to Hollywood
and finish making the movie.Copy !req
605. What are you going to do?Copy !req
606. - I'm just gonna keep walking that way.
- That's your plan?Copy !req
607. Yep. That's the direction
the car was going.Copy !req
608. You're not leaving me
while you make off with my diamond.Copy !req
609. I don't wanna get too wrapped up
in your caper...Copy !req
610. but let's assume that you're right
and Damian Drake is a spy?Copy !req
611. Super spy.Copy !req
612. Um, what's the point of just meandering
through the desert if...?Copy !req
613. Here.Copy !req
614. Be safe.Copy !req
615. - Attaboy. Trust your instincts.
- Yeah.Copy !req
616. Except for the water tower, the Batmobile,
the rubble known as Las Vegas.Copy !req
617. There's nobody as rich, famous,
and powerful as my father...Copy !req
618. who just disappears into thin air.Copy !req
619. Suddenly I feel like
I'm in Aunt Marge's Jell-O mold.Copy !req
620. Guys, it's air-conditioned in here.
Come on in.Copy !req
621. Intruder alert. Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.Copy !req
622. Easy. Whoa.Copy !req
623. Earth freak.Copy !req
624. Okay, buster. Where's Damian Drake
and that big diamond?Copy !req
625. Cleanup on aisle three.Copy !req
626. Can I be of service?Copy !req
627. I am monitored to respond
to the name Robbie.Copy !req
628. Hi, D.J.Copy !req
629. At ease. I'm Mother.Copy !req
630. Yeah, like the car said
that we would be meeting you.Copy !req
631. How do you know my name?Copy !req
632. D.J., I've known you
since you were this big.Copy !req
633. That's not really possible, is it?Copy !req
634. Must have been a photo.Copy !req
635. Let me just take care
of this, and we'll...Copy !req
636. Give it to me straight.
How bad is it?Copy !req
637. So shall we?Copy !req
638. So little to do, so much time.Copy !req
639. You're going to put him back, right?
I can't go back to L.A. with duck soup.Copy !req
640. We do have the facilities
to reconstitute the body.Copy !req
641. The mind, though,
will remain a gooey mess.Copy !req
642. Uh, so about my father?Copy !req
643. All in due time.
Lovely. Yes. Blow.Copy !req
644. All right, break it up, fellas. Nice coats.
White is the new black, you know.Copy !req
645. Yes.Copy !req
646. Look.Copy !req
647. - So this is Area 51, right?
- No.Copy !req
648. The secret military base
where they keep the aliens?Copy !req
649. No, Area 51 is actually
a paranoid fantasy we concocted...Copy !req
650. to hide the true
identity of this facility.Copy !req
651. - Which is?
- Area 52.Copy !req
652. But don't quote me on that.Copy !req
653. Oh, right. Area 52.Copy !req
654. - So, uh, Mother...
- Call me "Mom."Copy !req
655. Uh, Mom, what is it
that you do here exactly, anyway?Copy !req
656. Creation, transubstantiation, destruction.
It's stressful. All kinds of things.Copy !req
657. They're already here. You're next.Copy !req
658. My God, what am I going to do with you?
You've done nothing but screw up!Copy !req
659. You've walked off mesas.
You've been smashed by boulders.Copy !req
660. You've been run over by diesel trucks.Copy !req
661. Don't blame the equipment. It's good.
It's ACME equipment.Copy !req
662. You're a coyote. Be wily.Copy !req
663. All right, now.
Buck up and let's see a little smile.Copy !req
664. Little bigger.Copy !req
665. Little bigger.Copy !req
666. That's nice.Copy !req
667. Now, just go take a shower,
and don't come back till you smell better!Copy !req
668. Be careful. There are men moving a safe
and I don't want you to...Copy !req
669. And be careful
of the box of fireworks because...Copy !req
670. I suppose I should mention
the plate-glass window...Copy !req
671. It's tough being the boss.Copy !req
672. Ah, a communication.Copy !req
673. Memo to Marvin the Martian.Copy !req
674. Obtain the playing card,
and destroy the duck.Copy !req
675. And when I say destroy the duck,
I mean kill him viciously and painfully.Copy !req
676. A mission? I'm all a-tingle.Copy !req
677. So here we are
in the I-can't-tell-you-what room.Copy !req
678. - Robert, can you take care of that, please?
- Yes, madam.Copy !req
679. When you bring Daffy back,
could you make him 20 percent funnier?Copy !req
680. - I heard that.
- What were we discussing?Copy !req
681. This isn't about the giant ants, is it?Copy !req
682. - Giant ants?
- Because they're not really ants anymore.Copy !req
683. Tell me about the Blue Monkey.Copy !req
684. How do you know about that thing
that I've never heard of in my entire life?Copy !req
685. My dad told me.Copy !req
686. What is the point
of making them pinky swear?Copy !req
687. All right.Copy !req
688. Now this tape will explain everything.Copy !req
689. It was prepared especially for your father.Copy !req
690. Greetings, Damian Drake.Copy !req
691. If you are watching this, you are aware
that the world indeed is in grave danger.Copy !req
692. The ACME Corporation is in hot pursuit
of the Blue Monkey diamond...Copy !req
693. a supernatural gem with the ability
to turn people into monkeys...Copy !req
694. and then back again.Copy !req
695. It is the ACME chairman's goal
to turn the population...Copy !req
696. into monkey slaves
to manufacture shoddy ACME goods...Copy !req
697. and then change them back to people
to buy the stuff.Copy !req
698. Unbelievable.Copy !req
699. Unbelievable, you may say.Copy !req
700. Your mission is this:
Find it, destroy it, save humanity.Copy !req
701. Yay!Copy !req
702. And remember,
no one wants to be turned into a monkey.Copy !req
703. So that's why.Copy !req
704. Those guys came after my dad
because he was going to save the world.Copy !req
705. So that means if I go after the diamond,
then the bad guys come after me.Copy !req
706. Hang on.
You're not seriously thinking about...Copy !req
707. Taking over your father's mission?Copy !req
708. - I guess that would be all right.
- What?Copy !req
709. Listen, if you're going to be a spy,
you'll need spy stuff.Copy !req
710. So is this where you keep
all the high-tech spy gadgets?Copy !req
711. Yes.Copy !req
712. Oh, wow!Copy !req
713. Oh, yeah, that's cool.
So I get to use all this stuff?Copy !req
714. No, your stuff is over here.Copy !req
715. But I really like the...Copy !req
716. All right.
Looks like an ordinary cell phone.Copy !req
717. Three-way calling, voice dialing,
downloadable ringtones.Copy !req
718. - My phone does all that.
- Superconducting electromagnet.Copy !req
719. - Sorry.
- It's all right.Copy !req
720. GPS with mapping software...Copy !req
721. tip calculator, Game Boy.Copy !req
722. Game Boy?Copy !req
723. High-powered laser.Copy !req
724. Polycarbonate rappelling line
with jet-propelled micro grappling hook.Copy !req
725. Nose hair trimmer.
You always want to look your best.Copy !req
726. Get over here, you idiot.
No, cold. Cold. Warm, warmer.Copy !req
727. Permit me, madam.Copy !req
728. Robert, darling. Excellent choice.Copy !req
729. Swank pants.Copy !req
730. And comfortable too.Copy !req
731. Plus, liquid hydrogen rocket pockets,
here and here.Copy !req
732. Hand stitching,
nuclear-powered crotch pad...Copy !req
733. He'll be down in a moment.Copy !req
734. Wakey, wakey, friends.Copy !req
735. Time to wreak mayhem
in the cause of evil.Copy !req
736. Mother, just one last question.
What's the deal with this card?Copy !req
737. Well, that is the window
into what lies behind her smile.Copy !req
738. What?Copy !req
739. I'm sorry, our intelligence people
feel a need to code everything in a riddle.Copy !req
740. They get some kind of perverse pleasure
out of it. I think it's corporate.Copy !req
741. Fool humans.Copy !req
742. Enh, looks like we got company.Copy !req
743. Yipes!Copy !req
744. Illegal aliens.Copy !req
745. Exterminate them.Copy !req
746. Darn. I knew this day would come.Copy !req
747. Let us exterminate them.Copy !req
748. Emergency shutdown activated.Copy !req
749. Force-barrier seal in 30 seconds.Copy !req
750. Exterminate.Copy !req
751. The playing card, please.Copy !req
752. I'll take that. Out of my way.
Hero coming through.Copy !req
753. There is no escape.Copy !req
754. You pesky fowl!Copy !req
755. Yum, yum.Copy !req
756. Isn't it about time to enjoy a frosty,
cold soda at the concession stand?Copy !req
757. Exterminate!Copy !req
758. Get the lead out. Bus is leaving.Copy !req
759. Halt or be fricasseed.Copy !req
760. That was fun.Copy !req
761. Looking for this?Copy !req
762. Now, what did she mean by a window?Copy !req
763. The window into what lies
behind her smile.Copy !req
764. That's the Mona Lisa.Copy !req
765. - Which is in the Louvre.
- Which is in Paris.Copy !req
766. Just how are we supposed to get to Paris?Copy !req
767. Like this.Copy !req
768. It doesn't look like
much of a window to me.Copy !req
769. - Maybe the diamond is in the painting.
- Huh?Copy !req
770. - All we have to do is steal the Mona Lisa.
- Way ahead of you.Copy !req
771. No, no, no.Copy !req
772. - No, you look, you don't touch, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
773. But I'm already in costume.Copy !req
774. - That's a good look for you.
- Do you think so?Copy !req
775. Wait a minute.Copy !req
776. Aha! It is a window.Copy !req
777. - Wow.
- It's an X-ray.Copy !req
778. Heh. Sorry.Copy !req
779. It's a map of Africa.
Maybe that's where the diamond is.Copy !req
780. Hold it up. I'll take a picture.Copy !req
781. Hey, can I take a picture? Please?Copy !req
782. Come on, give me your phone.
I want to take a picture too.Copy !req
783. Cheese it, the cops.Copy !req
784. He's gone.Copy !req
785. So let me take a picture, will you?
I want to take a picture too.Copy !req
786. Come on, please? Can I hold the window?
Let me see the window.Copy !req
787. I'll take that!Copy !req
788. Um, what gives, doc?
We made 35 pictures together.Copy !req
789. Well, as it turns out, I'm secretly evil.Copy !req
790. That's show biz for you.Copy !req
791. Now make with the card,
so I can please my dark masters.Copy !req
792. Yes, sir. Queen of diamonds is your card.Copy !req
793. Just put it back in the deck,
anywhere is fine. And oopsie-daisy!Copy !req
794. - Aha! Is this your card?
- No.Copy !req
795. - This?
- No.Copy !req
796. - Run. This?
- No.Copy !req
797. I said it's the queen of diamonds,
I tell you.Copy !req
798. You mean, like this one?Copy !req
799. Think we should go back and help him?Copy !req
800. Nah, Elmer never gets Bugs.
It's a formula, but it works.Copy !req
801. The great thing about movies,
you always know what will happen.Copy !req
802. For instance, if this was a movie...Copy !req
803. you and I'd probably wind up together.Copy !req
804. If you don't let go of me, I'll scream...Copy !req
805. but I'm not gonna stop screaming!Copy !req
806. Well, this is surreal.Copy !req
807. Stop or I'll fire.Copy !req
808. Yikes.Copy !req
809. Hello.Copy !req
810. Oh, my.Copy !req
811. Ladies, please.Copy !req
812. Hey!Copy !req
813. Gendarme!Copy !req
814. There's a man there. He's got a woman.Copy !req
815. She's tied up in a burlap sack.
He's taking her to the Eiffel Tower.Copy !req
816. Ah, it is spring, is it not?Copy !req
817. Ooh, I'm gonna blast you.Copy !req
818. - Shh.
- Aw, shucks.Copy !req
819. Ooh.Copy !req
820. A technique
of using individual dots of pigment...Copy !req
821. which, taken together, make an image."Copy !req
822. Oh, crud.Copy !req
823. I think when you go to the movies,
you should learn something.Copy !req
824. Ha, ha. Look at that clown here.Copy !req
825. Now, there's something
you don't see every day.Copy !req
826. You.Copy !req
827. - Huh?
- Come here.Copy !req
828. - Wait a minute.
- I don't want trouble.Copy !req
829. - What're you doing?
- I just want your pants!Copy !req
830. Heh. That's right. I'm a
vicious bird of prey.Copy !req
831. He's got the camera!Copy !req
832. Give the girl back!Copy !req
833. - Enh, what kept you?
- You okay?Copy !req
834. That was great.Copy !req
835. I'd say it's a perfect day.
Except for the fact that we lost the map.Copy !req
836. - We?
- All right, I'm the jerk who lost the map.Copy !req
837. And I'm the bunny
who saved the card. Voilà.Copy !req
838. Nice going, Bugs.Copy !req
839. Africa.Copy !req
840. Chair people, I reveal to you...Copy !req
841. the whereabouts of the Blue Monkey.Copy !req
842. All right.Copy !req
843. There's a duck in the middle of the map.
Remove the duck.Copy !req
844. Remove the duck! The duck is in the...Copy !req
845. Duck!Copy !req
846. Oh.Copy !req
847. Now, we cannot let a boy, girl, duck, and
rabbit thwart our plans for global domination.Copy !req
848. - Wanna bet?
- A wager?Copy !req
849. Five dollars says my son will scuttle
your diabolical plans and save the world.Copy !req
850. You're awfully spunky
for a man in your position.Copy !req
851. How do you like that,
Mr. Slap Yourself in Your Own Face?Copy !req
852. Give him a good zets
every once in a while.Copy !req
853. My pleasure.Copy !req
854. Now, I think I'm going to
hedge my bet.Copy !req
855. I'm going to unleash
our most vicious operative.Copy !req
856. Uh, Mr. Chairman, while we agree that
the Tasmanian Devil is quite vicious...Copy !req
857. if memory serves, he
is also really stupid.Copy !req
858. Really? So are you.Copy !req
859. That's a good boy.Copy !req
860. I withdraw my objection.Copy !req
861. This would have been
a lot easier underground.Copy !req
862. Come on, it's only another 6,000 cubits
in this here thick direction.Copy !req
863. Look, Granny,
it's that nice boy from next door.Copy !req
864. Little Damian.Copy !req
865. How funny seeing you here, dear.Copy !req
866. Hi, Granny.Copy !req
867. Would you and your little friends
like a lift?Copy !req
868. Giddyup, Dumbo.Copy !req
869. Sure was a lucky coincidence
you showing up just now.Copy !req
870. Yes, wasn't it?Copy !req
871. I've discovered my roots.Copy !req
872. I've discovered my lunch. Heh, heh.Copy !req
873. Ow, ow, ow!Copy !req
874. Cry freedom!Copy !req
875. What a fantastic view.Copy !req
876. Unless you're in the audience...Copy !req
877. in which case you've been staring
at an elephant's behind for 30 seconds.Copy !req
878. My destiny awaits.Copy !req
879. I guess this is our stop.Copy !req
880. Enjoy the rest of your adventure, children.Copy !req
881. This is the Blue Monkey?
This dime-store bauble?Copy !req
882. - I've been rooked. Shafted by the gods.
- That shouldn't happen. Nice going, Daffy.Copy !req
883. I demand recompense.
I want my diamond.Copy !req
884. Where is my humongous rock?Copy !req
885. Huh. Pressed duck.Copy !req
886. - Hey.
- Unh.Copy !req
887. - This looks like a puzzle piece.
- What?Copy !req
888. Wait a minute.Copy !req
889. Yipe!Copy !req
890. Are we rich yet?Copy !req
891. Kate. Any time now.Copy !req
892. I'm rich. I'm affluent.
My liquidity is assured.Copy !req
893. Daffy, get back here. Don't touch that!Copy !req
894. Let go! Don't you dare!Copy !req
895. - The rock is mine. So close.
- You mind?Copy !req
896. Yes, I mind. I'm the hero.
I should get the treasure.Copy !req
897. The girl too, but we'll discuss that later.Copy !req
898. Careful.
Careful with my diamond. Easy, now.Copy !req
899. Dad, this is for you.Copy !req
900. Why, D.J., why you? Why wasn't it me?Copy !req
901. Just academic curiosity, you understand.Copy !req
902. Well, gotta go. Bank closes at 5.Copy !req
903. - Come on, Daffy, change him back.
- All right.Copy !req
904. Buddy pictures.Copy !req
905. - D.J., pal, you're okay.
- Yeah.Copy !req
906. Give me that.Copy !req
907. - I liked you better as a monkey.
- Thanks.Copy !req
908. That is so sweet.Copy !req
909. Now if you could just
hand over the diamond.Copy !req
910. Immediately!Copy !req
911. My turn.Copy !req
912. Pardon.Copy !req
913. - I've come for the diamond.
- I knew it was you.Copy !req
914. Oh, you knew it was me, did you?
You're wrong. Because I'm not me.Copy !req
915. I'm actually...Copy !req
916. I can't. I can't reach over the hat.Copy !req
917. I'd rehearse back at ACME,
but I never wore the hat.Copy !req
918. And now the hat is throwing me off.
Would you...Copy !req
919. Thank you very much. Now, I'm actually...Copy !req
920. Your father.Copy !req
921. - Dad.
- Saw that one coming.Copy !req
922. Look into your heart, D.J.Copy !req
923. - You know it's true.
- No, it can't be true.Copy !req
924. You're right, it isn't.Copy !req
925. Let's do some drills.Copy !req
926. This doesn't make a lick of sense.Copy !req
927. Ha, ha. Well, who's laughing now?Copy !req
928. Well, apparently, no one.
Anyway, give me the Monkey!Copy !req
929. No, forget that, man. You're evil.Copy !req
930. Thank you, but...Copy !req
931. Anyway, Mr. Smith,
let's show this muscle-bound beefcake...Copy !req
932. who I have sometimes
been mistaken for...Copy !req
933. what it's like to
live in the real world.Copy !req
934. Have you ever been disintegrated in one
place and then reassembled in another?Copy !req
935. Fire away.Copy !req
936. Oh, no, you don't!Copy !req
937. Ooh.Copy !req
938. I thought they fixed that glitch.Copy !req
939. Mr. Smith is fired!Copy !req
940. I have to do everything myself
around here.Copy !req
941. - Ah, good.
- You...Copy !req
942. Henchmen.Copy !req
943. Dad.Copy !req
944. So this is the remote that works.Copy !req
945. Now, this, my friend,
is the ACME Train of Death...Copy !req
946. which is not good news for your father.Copy !req
947. Don't worry about me, son.Copy !req
948. I've gotten out of worse scrapes
than this one.Copy !req
949. You see, if the Train of Death
doesn't kill him...Copy !req
950. then those crates of TNT will.Copy !req
951. Not to mention
the 2-ton anvil hanging over his head.Copy !req
952. And, oh, look.
There's the Pendulum of Doom.Copy !req
953. What's the Pendulum of Doom
doing there? I did not order it.Copy !req
954. It's overkill. Get rid of it.Copy !req
955. Now, if you want to
keep your family "together"...Copy !req
956. I would hand over the Blue Monkey now.Copy !req
957. Don't worry, son. I'm fine.Copy !req
958. - You're a sick man, you know that?
- Get used to it.Copy !req
959. Excuse me? What about my father?Copy !req
960. Oh, heh.Copy !req
961. - He's waiting for a train.
- What? You...Copy !req
962. Where's Marvin the Martian?Copy !req
963. Ah. All right, here is the Blue Monkey.
Go put it on the satellite. Go!Copy !req
964. Oh, no, you don't, eight ball.Copy !req
965. Ha. You'd never catch that rabbit
being this heroic.Copy !req
966. - Enh, what's up, doc?
- You're despicable.Copy !req
967. Vandals.Copy !req
968. Your friends' efforts
will prove to be futile.Copy !req
969. You see, here is the Blue Monkey,
here is the ACME satellite.Copy !req
970. When the Blue Monkey
is finally docked in the satellite...Copy !req
971. I will transmit a
beam around the world...Copy !req
972. which will transform
everyone but me into monkeys.Copy !req
973. Now take them away!Copy !req
974. Don't you think that'll get lonely...Copy !req
975. Mr. All My Friends Swing from Trees
and Pick Fleas Out of Their Furry Butts?Copy !req
976. Lonely? I suppose I could use
a little human companionship.Copy !req
977. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
978. I've seen you notice me.Copy !req
979. - I know I'm hot.
- Ew.Copy !req
980. But I prefer someone
with a little more oomph.Copy !req
981. I prefer Mary!Copy !req
982. Hello, Mary.Copy !req
983. We're a cute couple, don't you think?Copy !req
984. Now take those future simians away
and lower the Monkey shield.Copy !req
985. Earthlings have the worst
sense of direction. Aah!Copy !req
986. What do you know, he fell for it.
I guess I owe you 5 bucks.Copy !req
987. Uh, did you order satellite?Copy !req
988. Enh, I don't even have cable.Copy !req
989. You know, when I fired that duck...Copy !req
990. I never would have seen this coming.Copy !req
991. Gotta be a way out of this.Copy !req
992. You can get out of this, son.
You've just got to set your mind to it.Copy !req
993. Besides, I'm hearing my dad's voice
in my head.Copy !req
994. Actually, I'm down here, son.Copy !req
995. Hold on, Dad, I'll be right there!Copy !req
996. That was too easy.Copy !req
997. What was that noise, son?Copy !req
998. - You know how I always wanted a dog?
- Yeah?Copy !req
999. I just got one.Copy !req
1000. Wait. Maybe he wants to play fetch.Copy !req
1001. - Nice mechanical doggy.
- Good dog. Want to play?Copy !req
1002. Good boy. Fetch!Copy !req
1003. It looks to be
a deadly mission requiring strength...Copy !req
1004. cunning and nerves of steel.Copy !req
1005. So good luck, Bugsy,
I'll keep the engine running.Copy !req
1006. You tricked me!Copy !req
1007. Enh, what's up, Darth?Copy !req
1008. Now I must incapacitate you
with my bubble gun.Copy !req
1009. Ain't that cute?Copy !req
1010. Of course you realize this means war.Copy !req
1011. Uh, you go that way. I'm gonna go this way.Copy !req
1012. Bad dog! Sit!Copy !req
1013. Don't want to put you
under any added pressure...Copy !req
1014. but judging by the vibrations
of these train tracks, I've got about...Copy !req
1015. one minute and 42 seconds left.Copy !req
1016. Down! Put him down.Copy !req
1017. What am I gonna do?
What would Damian Drake do?Copy !req
1018. What would Duck Dodgers do?Copy !req
1019. Wait a minute. I am Duck Dodgers!Copy !req
1020. Yes, I'm going to be the hero
of this picture!Copy !req
1021. Duck Dodgers to the rescue!Copy !req
1022. Duck Dodgers to the rescue!Copy !req
1023. Duck Dodgers.Copy !req
1024. Duck...Copy !req
1025. Aha! It's you-know-who to the rescue!
It helps if you don't say the name.Copy !req
1026. Bad dog!Copy !req
1027. Disgusting Earth rodent.
Now to neutralize that duck.Copy !req
1028. Oh, this can't be good.Copy !req
1029. Now the diamond will bathe the Earth
in a monkey-transforming glow.Copy !req
1030. Ten, nine, eight, seven...Copy !req
1031. six, five, four...Copy !req
1032. three, two, one.Copy !req
1033. Thwarting evil
makes me so angry.Copy !req
1034. Well, that takes care of that. Yipe!Copy !req
1035. Enh, thanks, Daff.Copy !req
1036. Darn dark side!Copy !req
1037. Are you all monkeys yet?Copy !req
1038. Uh-oh.Copy !req
1039. Checkmate, Mr. Chairman.
You're going down.Copy !req
1040. Say it.
Just a little "You're my hero"?Copy !req
1041. - Nope, sorry.
- Bugs, say it, come on.Copy !req
1042. - Uh-uh. Not interested.
- No one will ever know.Copy !req
1043. Nope.Copy !req
1044. I'm really proud of you, D.J.Copy !req
1045. I knew I could count on you.Copy !req
1046. Yes.Copy !req
1047. Dad, I think we should move.Copy !req
1048. - What was wrong with Beverly Hills?
- I meant from this spot.Copy !req
1049. - I think we scratched it.
- Don't worry, it's a rental.Copy !req
1050. You guys, you pulled it off!Copy !req
1051. - You pulled it off, all right.
- Give me that.Copy !req
1052. Way to go, Daffy.Copy !req
1053. You didn't do so bad yourself, stunt boy.Copy !req
1054. To set the record straight...Copy !req
1055. all credit for saving the human race
goes to Daffy.Copy !req
1056. Exactly.Copy !req
1057. Oh, no, you don't, buster. You're the hero.Copy !req
1058. - You're the hero.
- You're the...Copy !req
1059. Wait a minute. Pronoun trouble.
I'm the hero.Copy !req
1060. I'm the hero, all right.Copy !req
1061. Are you gonna introduce us, D.J.?Copy !req
1062. - Dad, this is Kate. Kate, this is...
- Damian Drake.Copy !req
1063. I'm a really big fan of your son.Copy !req
1064. Well, Daff, you achieved your goal
of being a hero.Copy !req
1065. Yep, but you didn't achieve your goal...Copy !req
1066. of getting me back in your stupid movie.
Aha!Copy !req
1067. - Cut. Print. That's a wrap.
- That's it, guys.Copy !req
1068. Remind me to get a new agent, will you?Copy !req
1069. Thanks.Copy !req
1070. Wait a minute. Maybe we are a team.Copy !req
1071. Bugs and Daffy. No, Daffy and Bugs.
What do you think?Copy !req
1072. Excuse me, do you remember me?Copy !req
1073. I, uh, threatened your manliness,
and you got me fired?Copy !req
1074. Oh, I know you.Copy !req
1075. Do I know him?Copy !req
1076. You must be someone that I got fired.
See, I get a lot of people fired. Ha, ha.Copy !req
1077. - You be good now.
- So like I said...Copy !req
1078. Not again. He's down again.
Are you okay?Copy !req
1079. - Come on.
- He said he can do stunts.Copy !req
1080. Bugs is here. Gotta go.Copy !req
1081. Daffy, you're right.Copy !req
1082. - The usual place, Mr. Bunny?
- Very good.Copy !req
1083. From now on, you and I are going to be
equal partners in this thing.Copy !req
1084. No more second banana for you.Copy !req
1085. Thanks, pal. I really appreciate this.Copy !req
1086. At last my star is rising.Copy !req
1087. All my hopes and aspirations... Whoops.Copy !req
1088. What do you know?
My luck is changing already.Copy !req
1089. Good night, Porky. See you tomorrow.Copy !req
1090. Uh, go home, folks.Copy !req