1. Let me show you
what I made today.Copy !req
2. I can't wait.Copy !req
3. I need to go
upstairs and change,Copy !req
4. and then
I'll start dinner.Copy !req
5. Okay.
Okay.Copy !req
6. Ooh, showtime.Copy !req
7. Rough day at the office,
Mrs. Dunleavy?Copy !req
8. You'll feel better
once you get out of
those work clothes.Copy !req
9. And into some sweats.Copy !req
10. Ah...Copy !req
11. Oh. I wish you'd let me
rub those feet.Copy !req
12. Of course,
I wouldn't use my hands.Copy !req
13. Oh.Copy !req
14. I think Victoria
just told me her secret.Copy !req
15. Oh.Copy !req
16. Oh, my, deedly dee.Copy !req
17. Are those things for me?Copy !req
18. Oh.Copy !req
19. Mom.
Coming in.Copy !req
20. Oh. Scottie Dunleavy?Copy !req
21. What unfortunate timing.Copy !req
22. Get out.Copy !req
23. Don't you know
this is naughty time?Copy !req
24. I'll get it.Copy !req
25. Hello?
Hello, Scottie.Copy !req
26. Say, why don't you
be a good little boy,Copy !req
27. go downstairs,
let your mother get
comfy, all right?Copy !req
28. Who is this?Copy !req
29. This is a big bird
who wants to see
the rest of Mommy.Copy !req
30. Oh, oh.Copy !req
31. Oh, my God, Scottie.
Is that a man up our tree?Copy !req
32. No, no.
Tell her it's a bird.
It's just a big bird.Copy !req
33. Ah!
Ooh!Copy !req
34. Hey, pal, welcome.Copy !req
35. Welcome to what?
Where am I?Copy !req
36. Aren't you that horny guy
who was pretending to be
a big bird?Copy !req
37. Checking out
that beautiful mom?Copy !req
38. Yes, I am.Copy !req
39. Now you're gonna see
what a big horny bird
actually looks like...Copy !req
40. In Hell!Copy !req
41. Oh! Ah!Copy !req
42. No! No! No! No!Copy !req
43. I deserve this!
I deserve this!Copy !req
44. Ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
45. Ooh! Ooh!Copy !req
46. Knock, knock.Copy !req
47. Hey, Jimmy.Copy !req
48. What are you doing, Nicky?Copy !req
49. I'm just jammin'.Copy !req
50. Your father wants to see
you and your brothers
down in the throne room.Copy !req
51. He's not retiring today,
is he?Copy !req
52. He just wants to talk to you
and Cassius and AdrianCopy !req
53. about who's gonna rule Hell
for the next 10,000 years.Copy !req
54. Well, what do
I need to go for?Copy !req
55. He's not gonna pick me.Copy !req
56. I happen to think
you'd make a great devil.Copy !req
57. No, I'm not into
evil and torture
and all that stuff.Copy !req
58. Plus,
the Prince of DarknessCopy !req
59. should have sort of
a distinguished look to him,Copy !req
60. and let's face facts,
I'm no George Clooney.Copy !req
61. You know, you're not
a bad-looking guy, Nicky.Copy !req
62. Look at you
in that picture.Copy !req
63. Yeah, I used to
talk normal, too,Copy !req
64. but that was before
my brother CassiusCopy !req
65. hit me in the face
with a shovel.Copy !req
66. That's me now,
and I accept it.Copy !req
67. Well, your brothers
are two of the sickest guys
I have ever seen.Copy !req
68. For some reason,
you're not.Copy !req
69. It's nothin'
to be ashamed of.Copy !req
70. Well, their mothers
were fire dragonsCopy !req
71. and my mother was a goat,Copy !req
72. so how am I gonna
compete with that?Copy !req
73. Your mother
was not a goat.Copy !req
74. Your brothers are
just playing with you.Copy !req
75. Either way, if one of
those psychos gets picked,
I'm doomed.Copy !req
76. I knew it, Adrian.
He's finally retiring.Copy !req
77. Cassius, I've been
waiting on this day
for 10,000 years.Copy !req
78. Whew.Copy !req
79. If the old man picks me
to take over Hell,Copy !req
80. I'm gonna keep
torture going 24-7.Copy !req
81. No breaks.Copy !req
82. Whoa, Mama!
Ooh.Copy !req
83. You got him
right in the eye.Copy !req
84. Hey.
Oh.Copy !req
85. How's Daddy's
little girl doing today?Copy !req
86. Oh, I didn't see
you guys over there.
What's up?Copy !req
87. Hey, shovel face,
you wanna mind-wrestle?Copy !req
88. Actually, nah,
I'm all right.Copy !req
89. I was thinking
of chiling out by the
throne for a little bit.Copy !req
90. I'm gonna
mind-wrestle you
whether you like it or not.Copy !req
91. Well,
I have to warn you,Copy !req
92. I'm getting
pretty good at it.Copy !req
93. Then I guess
I can't make you do this.Copy !req
94. Okay. Mercy.
You win. I give. Game over...Copy !req
95. What are you boys doing?Copy !req
96. Nothing, Dad,
just hitting the old
punching bags.Copy !req
97. Cassius, didn't I
tell you to stay out of
your brother's mind?Copy !req
98. I forgot.Copy !req
99. Maybe this will
help you remember.Copy !req
100. Ah! Ooh!Copy !req
101. Now, everybody
come sit down.Copy !req
102. Hey, Dad.
Yes, son.Copy !req
103. I... I know you got
a lot on your mind,Copy !req
104. but I almost finished
that Monsters of Metal
compilation tape.Copy !req
105. I really think
it's turning into
a masterpiece.Copy !req
106. Okay, kid.
We'll listen to it later.Copy !req
107. Thanks, thanks.Copy !req
108. Oh, a window.Copy !req
109. Hello, Mr. Devil,
I like your cape.Copy !req
110. I deserve this!Copy !req
111. Fellas, this, as some
of you might know,Copy !req
112. is my 10,000th year
as Prince of Darkness,Copy !req
113. so I think the time
has come to discuss
who will succeed me.Copy !req
114. Uh, knock, knock.Copy !req
115. Yes, Jimmy?Copy !req
116. Don't forget.Copy !req
117. You're shoving a pineapple
up Hitler's ass at 4:00 p.m.Copy !req
118. This was a very
difficult decision,Copy !req
119. because I have
three wonderful sons.Copy !req
120. I mean, Adrian,
so smart, so ruthless.Copy !req
121. Wears makeup.Copy !req
122. And Cassius,Copy !req
123. so strong, so tough.Copy !req
124. Don't forget
clinically insane.Copy !req
125. And Nicky...Copy !req
126. Such a sweet boy.Copy !req
127. But after much thoughtCopy !req
128. and careful consideration,Copy !req
129. I've decided that the ruler
for the next 10,000 yearsCopy !req
130. is going to have to be...Copy !req
131. Me.Copy !req
132. What?
Hallelujah.Copy !req
133. I mean, that sucks.Copy !req
134. The important thing for
the stability of our ruleCopy !req
135. is to maintain the balance
between good and evil,Copy !req
136. and I don't think
any of youCopy !req
137. are ready for
that responsibility yet.Copy !req
138. Dad, this is bullshit!Copy !req
139. I don't like
that language.Copy !req
140. Ahem.Copy !req
141. Right, right.
Send him in.Copy !req
142. Sorry, boys.
I have to get back to work.Copy !req
143. Well, it was good
hanging with you, Dad.Copy !req
144. I'll check you later.Copy !req
145. Mmm-mmm.Copy !req
146. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
147. You're schnerious?Copy !req
148. Ah!Copy !req
149. Off, off, off, off, off.Copy !req
150. Ah...Copy !req
151. Damn!Copy !req
152. 20,000 years ago,
Grandpa Lucifer said,Copy !req
153. "It's better to rule in Hell
than to serve in Heaven."Copy !req
154. Well, I'm tired
of serving in Hell.Copy !req
155. We need somewhere
where we can rule.Copy !req
156. Bring it on, big man.
Let's see what you got.Copy !req
157. Could you concentrate
for five seconds?Copy !req
158. I am concentrating, man.Copy !req
159. I'm sorry.Copy !req
160. After careful consideration,
I must respectfully decline.Copy !req
161. I can't stand retirement.Copy !req
162. Come on. Just let me
win one Super Bowl.Copy !req
163. In exchange for eternal
damnation of your soul?Copy !req
164. You're much
too nice a guyCopy !req
165. for me to want to do
that to you, Mr. Marino.Copy !req
166. You did it for Namath.Copy !req
167. Yeah, but Joe was
coming here anyways.Copy !req
168. This sucks.Copy !req
169. I'll just go
to the Super Bowl
as an announcer,Copy !req
170. and I'll win myself
an Emmy!Copy !req
171. That's the spirit.Copy !req
172. You're a good devil, Dad.Copy !req
173. And I also happen
to be a Jets fan.Copy !req
174. What do you
think about Earth?Copy !req
175. We could create
our own Hell there.Copy !req
176. Are you saying we can go up
there and kill everyone?Copy !req
177. Eventually, Cassius,
but first,Copy !req
178. we'd have to corrupt
as many souls as we can,Copy !req
179. so that when
we do destroy them—Copy !req
180. Their damned souls
will be ours.Copy !req
181. It's our time, brother.Copy !req
182. This is not good.Copy !req
183. This is not good.Copy !req
184. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fellas, what are you doing?Copy !req
185. We're leaving.Copy !req
186. You can't go through there!Copy !req
187. The fire flows in,
not out.Copy !req
188. You really suck!Copy !req
189. Your Evilness!Copy !req
190. Your Evilness!Copy !req
191. Cassius and Adrian
have escaped from Hell.Copy !req
192. They went out
through the fire,
and they froze it.Copy !req
193. I tried to stop them, sir,Copy !req
194. but they overpowered me.Copy !req
195. Calm down.
Get off your knees.Copy !req
196. Thank you for being
so understanding,
Your Wickedness.Copy !req
197. You're the man.
You've always been the man.Copy !req
198. I've always said that.Copy !req
199. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
200. Are there boobs
on my head?Copy !req
201. Yeah, big ones.Copy !req
202. What's going on, Dad?Copy !req
203. I'm going to die, Nicky.Copy !req
204. The gates are broken.
No new souls can get in,Copy !req
205. which means I'll start
to deteriorate into nothing.Copy !req
206. No. No.Copy !req
207. What's with all those
"hoo hoo" noises?Copy !req
208. Everything's fine, Pop.Copy !req
209. Everything's fine?
Who are you bullshitting?Copy !req
210. The last time you said
everything was fine,Copy !req
211. the Renaissance happened.Copy !req
212. Please, Pop,
go back to your room.Copy !req
213. Hey, can I take him with me?Copy !req
214. Sure, Pop.
Whatever you want.Copy !req
215. Tit-head,
go with my father.Copy !req
216. Not a damn soul is going
to get through that.Copy !req
217. This fire is solid as rock.Copy !req
218. We got to get this
bad boy burning again.Copy !req
219. To do that,
Cassius and AdrianCopy !req
220. have to come back
through the other way.Copy !req
221. So go get 'em, Dad.Copy !req
222. I'm too weak.Copy !req
223. The process
has already begun.Copy !req
224. So go get 'em, Jimmy.Copy !req
225. I'm just a demon.Copy !req
226. I don't have
Devil blood in me.Copy !req
227. I... I wouldn't last
two minutes with
your brothers up there.Copy !req
228. Are you saying
it's up to me?
Huh?Copy !req
229. You said no souls
could get through that.Copy !req
230. Nicky, are you a soul,Copy !req
231. or are you
the spawn of Satan?Copy !req
232. I never been to Earth, Dad.Copy !req
233. I never even slept over
some other dude's house.Copy !req
234. Nicky, the worst thing
that could happen on Earth
is you get killed,Copy !req
235. in which case, boom.Copy !req
236. You end up back here.Copy !req
237. So you're saying
I need to go to Earth
and kill my brothers?Copy !req
238. No go.Copy !req
239. They left together
at the exact same time.Copy !req
240. They got
to come back togetherCopy !req
241. at the exact same time.Copy !req
242. Here.Copy !req
243. Get them
to drink from this.Copy !req
244. One sip, and they'll be
trapped inside.Copy !req
245. Once you've got
both of them,Copy !req
246. you bring the flask
back through the gate.Copy !req
247. Let me, sir.Copy !req
248. Gross!Copy !req
249. Ugh.Copy !req
250. He's got
less than a week.Copy !req
251. Dad, I don't know
if I can do this.Copy !req
252. Son, you...Copy !req
253. Try your best.Copy !req
254. Earth.Copy !req
255. It doesn't look too bad.Copy !req
256. You were gone 10 seconds.
What happened?Copy !req
257. I got hit
by this big lightCopy !req
258. that was attached
to a lot of metal.Copy !req
259. That's a train, son.Copy !req
260. Don't stand
in front of them.Copy !req
261. Well, I'll have to take
a mulligan on this one.Copy !req
262. Please, Nicky,
get back up there.Copy !req
263. All right. Whoa!Copy !req
264. I'll get that
for you, sir.Copy !req
265. I'm Nicky.Copy !req
266. That's terrific.Copy !req
267. Now get off the track
and come with me, handsome.Copy !req
268. Okay.Copy !req
269. Welcome to
Grand Central Station
in New York City.Copy !req
270. My name is Beefy.Copy !req
271. I'm an old friend
of your father's.Copy !req
272. He asked me
to help you out.Copy !req
273. I just want to find
my brothersCopy !req
274. and be on my way.Copy !req
275. It's not going to be easy.Copy !req
276. Your brothers
can possess people,Copy !req
277. so they probably
won't look like themselves.Copy !req
278. You have to be
suspicious of everyone.Copy !req
279. All right, bro.Copy !req
280. Well, the jig is up, then.Copy !req
281. Get in the flask.
Come on.
Slide right on in.Copy !req
282. It ain't me, moron.Copy !req
283. Sorry. I...Copy !req
284. Now, there's
this blind guy outsideCopy !req
285. you might think
is possessed,Copy !req
286. but he's just crazy.Copy !req
287. Okay.Copy !req
288. Though I cannot
see with these blind eyes,Copy !req
289. I know the good Lord
still loves me.Copy !req
290. He loves
all of his children.Copy !req
291. Why, he loves you...Copy !req
292. That's him.Copy !req
293. And he loves you.Copy !req
294. Here he goes.Copy !req
295. You make the Lord
very nervous.Copy !req
296. All right.
You've been...Copy !req
297. I'm burnin' now.
Take it easy.Copy !req
298. Hellfire is
burnin' me alive!Copy !req
299. He's burning.Copy !req
300. Burnin' me!
Ah!Copy !req
301. The beast is alive!
He's among us!Copy !req
302. Clear the streets!
The Devil is here!Copy !req
303. Making friends already.Copy !req
304. I don't know what
that guy's problem was.Copy !req
305. It's freezing up here.Copy !req
306. You're in
the human world now, kid.Copy !req
307. You're going to feel
a lot of new things
you never felt before.Copy !req
308. Let's get you
some warm clothesCopy !req
309. and some hot food.Copy !req
310. Yeah.Copy !req
311. Put it in your mouth.Copy !req
312. Now move your teeth
up and down.Copy !req
313. Up and down.Copy !req
314. Good, numb nuts.Copy !req
315. Now you got
to swallow it.Copy !req
316. Tilt your head backCopy !req
317. and let the meat slide
down your throat hole.Copy !req
318. Easy. Don't choke.Copy !req
319. Popeyes Chicken
is fucking awesome.Copy !req
320. Uh-huh.Copy !req
321. Now eat up. You're going
to need your energy.Copy !req
322. I got energy
up the ying-yang.Copy !req
323. Let's go save Dad.Copy !req
324. Adrian! Cassius!Copy !req
325. Oh, boy.Copy !req
326. So nice.Copy !req
327. Hey.Copy !req
328. Hey... Hey.Copy !req
329. I like your brassiere.Copy !req
330. Oh. Thank you.Copy !req
331. Could you guys maybe not
tell anyone about this?Copy !req
332. Yeah. You got it.Copy !req
333. Do you mind maybe not
telling anybody about this?Copy !req
334. You got it.Copy !req
335. Look, sidewalk
equals safety.Copy !req
336. Middle of the road
equals death.Copy !req
337. From now on, I'm just
going to try to avoidCopy !req
338. all moving
metal objects.Copy !req
339. Great. Now, your father
gave me some deposit moneyCopy !req
340. for a nice pad
on the Upper East Side,Copy !req
341. but I misplaced it.Copy !req
342. I'm wasted!Copy !req
343. So I found this
other joint for you,Copy !req
344. but you're going
to have a roommate.Copy !req
345. There's only
one thing betterCopy !req
346. than drinking
an ice-cold whiskey sour
on a hot Alabama night,Copy !req
347. and that's
telling the truth.Copy !req
348. I know what you think
about me, Grandma.Copy !req
349. You think I'm worthless.Copy !req
350. You think
I'm a stumblebumCopy !req
351. who ain't never going
to amount to anything.Copy !req
352. Well, old woman,
you are wrong.Copy !req
353. You are wrong.Copy !req
354. Hello, friend.Copy !req
355. My name is Nicky.Copy !req
356. I understand you are
seeking a roommate,Copy !req
357. as per your ad in
the Village Voice.Copy !req
358. Would it be possible
for me to fill the slot?Copy !req
359. Don't you want to know
what rent is?Copy !req
360. Yes.Copy !req
361. What is rent?Copy !req
362. It's 1,200,
split down the middle.Copy !req
363. Tuesdays and Thursdays,Copy !req
364. I rehearse with
my scene partner,Copy !req
365. so the living room's
going to be off-limits.Copy !req
366. Off-limits.Copy !req
367. Aren't you boiling hot
in that outfit?
No.Copy !req
368. It's like 80 degrees
in this hallway.Copy !req
369. Where are you from,
the South?Copy !req
370. Yes.Copy !req
371. The Deep South.Copy !req
372. Why is that funny?Copy !req
373. I don't know.Copy !req
374. Okay. And sorry, guy,
but no doggies allowed.Copy !req
375. Go on.
Big day tomorrow.Copy !req
376. And don't forget
to do that sleep thing
I told you about.Copy !req
377. Gotcha.Copy !req
378. You're not my brother,
are you?Copy !req
379. I'm an only child.
Oh.Copy !req
380. You love acting.Copy !req
381. I love pissing.Copy !req
382. Oh, my God!Copy !req
383. In today's gospel,
the Lord tells us
how we should liveCopy !req
384. if we wish to attain
the splendor of Heaven.Copy !req
385. Or something like that.Copy !req
386. Jesus this, Moses that.Copy !req
387. Abraham hit me
with a wiffle ball bat.Copy !req
388. Yep. The Lord sure did sayCopy !req
389. a lot of hibbity jibbity
bibbity swibbity.Copy !req
390. But...Copy !req
391. Has he ever
really done anything
for any of us?Copy !req
392. Has he ever put a Jaguar XJR
in my driveway?Copy !req
393. No.Copy !req
394. I love that car.Copy !req
395. Has the Lord given
any of my enemies the herpes?Copy !req
396. The herpes?Copy !req
397. No.Copy !req
398. The Lord gave my son
the strength to get off drugs.Copy !req
399. Ma'am, I know your son,Copy !req
400. and, believe me, he was
better off on the drugs.Copy !req
401. At least when
he was smoking hashish,Copy !req
402. he used to make me
laugh occasionally.Copy !req
403. After we tried
for many years,Copy !req
404. the Lord finally
helped my wife
conceive a baby.Copy !req
405. No, no, no.Copy !req
406. Your best friend Fitzy
helped your wife
conceive a baby.Copy !req
407. He helped her conceive itCopy !req
408. all night long.Copy !req
409. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
410. How about you, Mayor?Copy !req
411. Has the Lord
ever done anything for you?Copy !req
412. Well, you know, I...Copy !req
413. I wished I could
think of something,Copy !req
414. but, to be honest
with you, I can't.Copy !req
415. I can't think of a damn thing
he's ever done for me!Copy !req
416. Kind of makes you wonder
if there even is a Lord,Copy !req
417. if there even is
an ultimate punishmentCopy !req
418. for our so-called sins.Copy !req
419. Why don't we all
just have funCopy !req
420. and do whatever
the hell we want?Copy !req
421. Hey, hey!Copy !req
422. Let the sin begin.Copy !req
423. "Let the sin begin."Copy !req
424. That was a good one.Copy !req
425. This is so much fun!Copy !req
426. I never want it to end.Copy !req
427. Why should it end?Copy !req
428. Who's going to stop us?Copy !req
429. Come on.
There's, like, 10 million
people in this city,Copy !req
430. and the clock is ticking.Copy !req
431. Well, let's
rock and roll, then.Copy !req
432. Get in the flask.
I'm not thirsty!Copy !req
433. Ah!Copy !req
434. Cassius,
I'll show you.Copy !req
435. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
436. Cassius,
get in the flask.Copy !req
437. Get in the flask.Copy !req
438. Get in the flask.Copy !req
439. May I help you?
Get in the flask.Copy !req
440. What are you
talking about, man?Copy !req
441. I'm talking about
an eight-piece. Let's go.Copy !req
442. Look, it's okay for me
to shit in the street,Copy !req
443. but you got to use
a toilet.Copy !req
444. Okay.Copy !req
445. Nicky, where are you?Copy !req
446. Oh, come on.Copy !req
447. What's he doing now?Copy !req
448. Just get in the flask.
I gotta get Adrian.Copy !req
449. Gary's so hairy.Copy !req
450. Tickle, tickle,
tickle. Ooh!Copy !req
451. All that chasing
and running aroundCopy !req
452. is making me want to do
the sleep thing again.Copy !req
453. Kid, I like
your enthusiasm,Copy !req
454. but I think
we have to work onCopy !req
455. narrowing down
our list of suspects.Copy !req
456. Now I'm going
to go check inCopy !req
457. with some of
my contacts uptown.Copy !req
458. Yeah.Copy !req
459. Kid's got
a lot of evil in himCopy !req
460. just begging
to come out.Copy !req
461. I will eat your heart.Copy !req
462. There's our man.Copy !req
463. Well, Mr. Sleepyhead
must have some major ties
to the dark side.Copy !req
464. What's with that guy?Copy !req
465. It's got to be one of his
disciples or something.Copy !req
466. My man's into
deep nocturnal shit.Copy !req
467. Whoo! Mmm-hmm. Yeah.Copy !req
468. Yo, man,
I think that devil guyCopy !req
469. just got ripped off.Copy !req
470. Should we wake him up?Copy !req
471. Yeah. You do it.Copy !req
472. Rise and shine, devil guy.Copy !req
473. Some dude
just stole your shit.Copy !req
474. What? Where?Copy !req
475. Ah!Copy !req
476. Which way did he go?Copy !req
477. Uh, that way.
Thanks.Copy !req
478. Give me back
my flask!Copy !req
479. Did you check out
the dragon mouth?Copy !req
480. The Dark Prince is here.Copy !req
481. Check out my stuff.
I got a low price.Copy !req
482. I got a pepper shaker.Copy !req
483. I got a silver doodad
from Africa.Copy !req
484. Hey.Copy !req
485. See something
you like, my man?Copy !req
486. Yes. I would like
my flask back.Copy !req
487. You calling me
a thief, my man?Copy !req
488. I'm calling you the guy
who has my flask.Copy !req
489. How would I have it unless
I was, in fact, a thief?Copy !req
490. I don't know.Copy !req
491. Now you've gone
and done it.Copy !req
492. You done messed
with my business, bitch.Copy !req
493. I would appreciate it
if you kept your voice down.Copy !req
494. Oh...Copy !req
495. You going all
crazy-eyed on me.Copy !req
496. I'll show you
some crazy eye.Copy !req
497. Look at this. Come on,
let's get busy.Copy !req
498. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
499. Who?Copy !req
500. Does, um, that flask
belong to this man?Copy !req
501. Now you going to call me
a thief, too? Damn.Copy !req
502. Okay, look, today,
the guy you ripped offCopy !req
503. just happened to walk by
and bust you,Copy !req
504. so why don't you just
give him his flask back?Copy !req
505. What are you going
to do if I don't?Copy !req
506. Bite me with
your snaggletooth?
No...Copy !req
507. But maybe that policeman
over there might have
something to say.Copy !req
508. Hmm.Copy !req
509. Aw, take your dumb-ass
canteen, goofy.Copy !req
510. And you, get your
raggedy-ass clothesCopy !req
511. and find yourself
another cornerCopy !req
512. before I show you
what crazy really is.Copy !req
513. Fine. I will.Copy !req
514. I'm a businessman.Copy !req
515. I'll be seeing you
in a few years.Copy !req
516. Excuse me.Copy !req
517. That was amazing.Copy !req
518. I, uh, just wanted
to thank you.Copy !req
519. Oh, that's okay.Copy !req
520. I get messed with
all the time.Copy !req
521. When I saw him
do that to you,Copy !req
522. I just lost it.Copy !req
523. I hate when people
take advantage of tourists.Copy !req
524. What makes you think
I'm a tourist?Copy !req
525. Oh.Copy !req
526. Your accent, maybe.Copy !req
527. Well, where are you from?Copy !req
528. The South.
Really?Copy !req
529. The Deep South.Copy !req
530. Why are we laughing?Copy !req
531. I don't know,
but I was enjoying it.Copy !req
532. Your glasses are pretty.Copy !req
533. They make your eyes
look big and sparkly.Copy !req
534. It's fun looking at them.Copy !req
535. Oh. My dad's an optometrist.Copy !req
536. My dad's in Hell,
and he's falling apart.Copy !req
537. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
538. It's really tough
when your folks get older.Copy !req
539. I don't know what I would do
if I couldn't save him.Copy !req
540. Well, I'm sure a nice
southern boy like you
will figure something out.Copy !req
541. You want some Popeyes?Copy !req
542. No.Copy !req
543. I... I had my lunch already.Copy !req
544. Okay.Copy !req
545. But I wouldn't mind
getting a gelati.Copy !req
546. Could I come with you
to getting a gelati?Copy !req
547. If you want to.Copy !req
548. Here you go, pal.
Enjoy.Copy !req
549. Mmm. Thank you.Copy !req
550. It's freezing my hands.Copy !req
551. Even with
those gloves on?Copy !req
552. Yeah, it's cold.Copy !req
553. Here, let me wrap it.Copy !req
554. Please. Thank you.Copy !req
555. Gelati.Copy !req
556. That's better. Yeah.
Better?Copy !req
557. Ooh!Copy !req
558. Why are you taunting me
with your darkness?Copy !req
559. Your evil,
it's stinking up
our streets!Copy !req
560. The end is near!Copy !req
561. We are all gonna die!Copy !req
562. This town is really
going to Hell lately.
Yeah.Copy !req
563. We will
meet again, Lucifer.Copy !req
564. So, what part of town
do you live in?Copy !req
565. I have an apartment.
I'm not sure where.Copy !req
566. My dog knows, though.Copy !req
567. You have a dog?
What kind?Copy !req
568. I don't know.
I'd ask him,Copy !req
569. but he's uptown
meeting his contacts.Copy !req
570. Say "Mr. Beefy."
Say it. Say it.Copy !req
571. Mr. Beefy.Copy !req
572. And... I love you!Copy !req
573. You go to school?
What's that like?Copy !req
574. Oh, I go to
Parsons School of Design.Copy !req
575. I knew growing up
I wasn't much to look at,Copy !req
576. so I concentrated on
making things that are pretty.Copy !req
577. You have a nice smell
coming off you.Copy !req
578. Oh, that's my perfume.Copy !req
579. It's called
comme de sud pacific.Copy !req
580. I think that's French
for "coconuts."Copy !req
581. That's better
than the gelati.Copy !req
582. Valerie, it feels likeCopy !req
583. there's a bunch
of butterfliesCopy !req
584. flapping around
in my stomach right now.Copy !req
585. Is that normal?Copy !req
586. Sometimes, sure.Copy !req
587. Good, 'cause
I was concerned.Copy !req
588. Why did they do this to me?
I was good to them.Copy !req
589. I can hardly notice.
Honest.Copy !req
590. I sure hope Nicky's
kickin' some ass on Earth,Copy !req
591. or we are doomed.Copy !req
592. You know,
I was the one who
created Hell.Copy !req
593. I know that,
Your Hatefulness.Copy !req
594. But, actually,
the credit for
starting HellCopy !req
595. belongs to my first wife,
you know.Copy !req
596. She was the inspiration.Copy !req
597. Hey, Chewbacca,
take it easy, will you?Copy !req
598. In fact, you look
like my first wife.Copy !req
599. Only she had more hair.Copy !req
600. In another startling
announcement from City Hall,Copy !req
601. Mayor Randolph has,
effective immediately,Copy !req
602. lowered the legal
drinking age
from 21 to 10.Copy !req
603. When an adult goes to Hell,
that's terrific.Copy !req
604. But when a child goes...Copy !req
605. That's why
I'm in this business.Copy !req
606. Little Nicky.Copy !req
607. Know what's
nice about you?
What?Copy !req
608. I like the way you're happy
just being yourself.Copy !req
609. You don't try to act cool.Copy !req
610. Thanks much, Valerie.Copy !req
611. You know what's
nice about you?Copy !req
612. Your juicy
heart-shaped heinie.Copy !req
613. What was that?Copy !req
614. I don't know
why I said that.Copy !req
615. I... I meant
to say that...Copy !req
616. I've always dreamt
about having sex
with a gross pig.Copy !req
617. Can I wash my winky
in your kitchen sinky?Copy !req
618. You're a real jerk!Copy !req
619. I didn't mean to be.Copy !req
620. What the... Adrian!Copy !req
621. Dad needs you
to come back to Hell.Copy !req
622. So he sent
old shovel face to fetch me.Copy !req
623. I'm not kidding.
He's in trouble.Copy !req
624. So are you.Copy !req
625. Hey, Valerie!Copy !req
626. What is your problem?Copy !req
627. I'm sorry!Copy !req
628. Adrian, you guys
froze the fire gateCopy !req
629. and now Dad is dying,Copy !req
630. so get your booty
back home or else!Copy !req
631. You can't talk tough, Nicky.Copy !req
632. Even the voice
inside your head has
a speech impediment.Copy !req
633. Adrian,
you're gonna go backCopy !req
634. because I'm gonna
make you go back.Copy !req
635. How about this?
I'll stay here,Copy !req
636. enjoying my pizza
and my peppermint schnapps,Copy !req
637. and you go back.Copy !req
638. Adrian, don't!Copy !req
639. Cut the crap!
This is serious!Copy !req
640. Oh, come on.Copy !req
641. So I was driving
to work today,Copy !req
642. some bozo in a Cadillac
cuts me off.Copy !req
643. So I followed him.
When he got out of his car,Copy !req
644. I run up behind this guy,Copy !req
645. and I start bashing
his brains in with this bat.Copy !req
646. Did you ever see
The Untouchables?Copy !req
647. I was De Niro!Copy !req
648. What's happened
to you, Regis?Copy !req
649. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
650. The Mayor's office
today, in conjunctionCopy !req
651. with the New York
Board of Tourism,Copy !req
652. unveiled its new mottoCopy !req
653. to replace the long-standing
"I love New York" slogan.Copy !req
654. "I love hookers" will now be
the city's catch phrase.Copy !req
655. Your brothers are
upsetting the balanceCopy !req
656. between good and evil.Copy !req
657. Oh, what can I do about it?Copy !req
658. You can't do jack shitCopy !req
659. unless you learn
your evil powers.Copy !req
660. Go get a soda
out of the fridge.Copy !req
661. But those are
my roommate's sodas.Copy !req
662. "But those are my
roommate's sodas."Copy !req
663. Does that sound
like a statementCopy !req
664. the son of the Devil
would make?Copy !req
665. All right.
Take it easy.Copy !req
666. Nicky, you have
the power to changeCopy !req
667. the cola in that can
into any other liquid.Copy !req
668. Engine oil, bat's blood,
moose piss.Copy !req
669. You just have to release
the evil within.Copy !req
670. Release the evil?Copy !req
671. I'm just saying
there's wickedness in you.Copy !req
672. I can tell from your snores.Copy !req
673. Really?Copy !req
674. Release your evil.Copy !req
675. Release the evil.Copy !req
676. Come on, you can do it.Copy !req
677. There it is.Copy !req
678. You got it in you.Copy !req
679. What are you doing?
Hey!Copy !req
680. Oh! I... I...Copy !req
681. All right.Copy !req
682. I'm going to pretend
I didn't see a dog
on the couch,Copy !req
683. because my brain just can't
process that right now.Copy !req
684. But were you about
to drink one of my Cokes?Copy !req
685. No. I was
just looking at it.Copy !req
686. It's beautiful.Copy !req
687. This Coke
tastes like Pepsi.Copy !req
688. You changed a Coke
into a Pepsi?Copy !req
689. That was your
big transformation?Copy !req
690. Come on, man,
give it up a little.Copy !req
691. I mean, it was pretty good
for my first try.Copy !req
692. Do you even care
that your brothersCopy !req
693. are killing your father?Copy !req
694. Yes, I care!Copy !req
695. And he is not
going to die!Copy !req
696. Atta boy.Copy !req
697. I'm freaked out.Copy !req
698. My television just blew up.Copy !req
699. You're damn right it did!Copy !req
700. I mean, really?Copy !req
701. I know this is
your living room time,Copy !req
702. but could I maybe finish
watching the Globetrotters
out here?Copy !req
703. It's the craziest game
I've ever seen.Copy !req
704. He's walking! Get him a bus!Copy !req
705. This is the part
I don't get.Copy !req
706. Another terrible call.Copy !req
707. There's no way
that was traveling.Copy !req
708. What's up
with all the calls?Copy !req
709. We haven't lost
a game in 53 years!Copy !req
710. Guess what, cornrows?Copy !req
711. Technical foul!
You're outta here!Copy !req
712. Why's the referee
being so mean to
the Globetrotters, Daddy?Copy !req
713. I've been watching
these guys play
since I was your age.Copy !req
714. It's all part
of the show, baby.Copy !req
715. That guy in
the striped shirtCopy !req
716. snapped his fingers
like somebody I know!Copy !req
717. Normally
the Globetrotters represent
family entertainment.Copy !req
718. Who gives a shit?Copy !req
719. These kids came here to see
the Globetrotters win!Copy !req
720. Ten points off on
the Globetrotters
on account of the bigmouth!Copy !req
721. It's all part of
the show, baby!Copy !req
722. Hit the half-time buzzer.
I'm tired.Copy !req
723. If the second half doesn't
get any better than this,Copy !req
724. you can expect
a full-scale riot.Copy !req
725. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
726. it is now time
for the Globetrotters'Copy !req
727. half-time half-court
heave-ho throw!Copy !req
728. And if the contestant
makes it,Copy !req
729. everyone here
will get a free pizza pie!Copy !req
730. I ain't takin' the shot.
These people are crazy.Copy !req
731. Excuse me.
I'll take that shot.Copy !req
732. Okay.Copy !req
733. What made you
want to come and see the
Globetrotters today, son?Copy !req
734. I came for the beer
and the bitches.Copy !req
735. Oh.Copy !req
736. Looks who's back
from the dead.Copy !req
737. 666! Pickup sticks!Copy !req
738. Yeah!Copy !req
739. Please welcome Miguel SanchezCopy !req
740. from the Bronx,
New York!Copy !req
741. What's Nicky doing there?Copy !req
742. Trying to capture
his brother in a flaskCopy !req
743. and preserve the balance
of good and evil on Earth.Copy !req
744. Did you just talk?Copy !req
745. No.Copy !req
746. Are you Miguel
from the Bronx?Copy !req
747. No. I'm Nicky
from the South.Copy !req
748. Hey, gimme that!Copy !req
749. You better win these people
some free pizzaCopy !req
750. 'cause it looks like
they're about to start
killing each other.Copy !req
751. All right.Copy !req
752. Who's that man, Mommy?Copy !req
753. I don't know,
but he sure is
butt-ugly.Copy !req
754. Release the evil.Copy !req
755. Too much evil.Copy !req
756. I think
that ball just blew up,Copy !req
757. and, yes,
my hair is aflame.Copy !req
758. I don't know what
the hell that was.Copy !req
759. Don't do it again, huh?Copy !req
760. All right.Copy !req
761. I command you
not to blow upCopy !req
762. and go into
that metal circle.Copy !req
763. Nyah!Copy !req
764. Hey.Copy !req
765. Get that crap outta here!Copy !req
766. I know you're
having fun, Cassius,Copy !req
767. but you really gotta
come back to Hell.Copy !req
768. Look around you, Nicky.
We're in Hell.Copy !req
769. The new Hell.Copy !req
770. Do it! Do it! Do it!
Whee!Copy !req
771. I was sent here
to take you backCopy !req
772. and that's what
I'm gonna do.Copy !req
773. Don't make me take out
the shovel again, trick.Copy !req
774. I think we're about to see
a Devil showdown.Copy !req
775. Yeah!Copy !req
776. You know, Dad got sick
when you guys left.Copy !req
777. I'm glad he's dyingCopy !req
778. 'cause it's my turn now.Copy !req
779. You're gonna wish
you never said that.Copy !req
780. Take him to the hole, Nicky.Copy !req
781. I mean, woof-woof.Copy !req
782. Come on, brother,
come on! Ha-ha!Copy !req
783. Oh, come on!Copy !req
784. Daddy can't help you!
Daddy can't help you!Copy !req
785. Enough!Copy !req
786. This show gets
better every year!Copy !req
787. That was sick.
Who taught you that shit?Copy !req
788. Sorry, Cassius.Copy !req
789. It must be the Super
Devil juice Dad gave me.Copy !req
790. Super Devil juice?
Gimme that, little girl.Copy !req
791. Don't drink
out of it, please!Copy !req
792. Now that was some straight-up
David Copperfield shit!Copy !req
793. Damn you, Nicky!Copy !req
794. There ain't no Super
Devil juice in here!Copy !req
795. Hail, Nicky!Copy !req
796. We are forever
your slaves!Copy !req
797. So your father's
the Devil...Copy !req
798. Si, senor.Copy !req
799. You're a talking dog
from Hell.
Yep.Copy !req
800. And you guys are who?
Just a couple of
big fans of NickyCopy !req
801. and the work
his dad does.Copy !req
802. Hey, by the way, Nicky,
check this out.Copy !req
803. What's Ozzy trying
to say there?Copy !req
804. John, absolutely nothing.Copy !req
805. The blizzard always came
straight with his messages.Copy !req
806. But wrap your minds
around this, gentlemen.Copy !req
807. Oh, no.Copy !req
808. Chicago.Copy !req
809. I love this song.Copy !req
810. I command you
in the name of LuciferCopy !req
811. to spread the blood
of the innocent.Copy !req
812. Oh, my God,
Chicago kicks ass!Copy !req
813. That was awesome.Copy !req
814. You know, guys,
this cake tastes
a little funny.Copy !req
815. Oh, I dumped a fat sack
of reefer in the mix.Copy !req
816. Thought I'd spice up the bash.Copy !req
817. Really?
What's reefer?Copy !req
818. About 500 bucks an ounce.Copy !req
819. Come on, Nicky,
one more time.Copy !req
820. I can't.
It's starting to hurt.Copy !req
821. Come on,
you totally got to!Copy !req
822. All right, all right.
Last time.Copy !req
823. Oh, here he goes!
Here he goes!Copy !req
824. That's insane!Copy !req
825. How do you do that?
How do you do that?Copy !req
826. I used to get
messed up like thisCopy !req
827. with my first
girlfriend Heather.Copy !req
828. We'd get so loopy,Copy !req
829. she would forget
I was a dog.Copy !req
830. She was a human?Copy !req
831. No. She was a sewer rat.Copy !req
832. Man, that pissed
my parents off.Copy !req
833. You know,
I was in love once,Copy !req
834. but she said I wasn't
financially reliableCopy !req
835. and she needed that.Copy !req
836. Now, by "she,"
do you mean "he"?Copy !req
837. No.
Busted!Copy !req
838. Please.Copy !req
839. Hey, how you feelin'
over there,
Satan Abdul-Jabbar?Copy !req
840. A little strange.Copy !req
841. I can't stop thinking
about this girl Valerie.Copy !req
842. Why? Did she hurt you?Copy !req
843. Do you need to cry
on my shoulder?Copy !req
844. Easy, Liberace.Copy !req
845. Oh, would you grow up?Copy !req
846. Liberace.Copy !req
847. I was having
the best day with herCopy !req
848. until Adrian
made me tell herCopy !req
849. she had
a heart-shaped heinie.Copy !req
850. Maybe you love her.
But what do I know?Copy !req
851. I can't even
see straight.Copy !req
852. Oh, me, too!
Hey, we got to get going.Copy !req
853. Hey, you guys can
crash here if you want.Copy !req
854. I have an extra futon
in the bedroom.Copy !req
855. Uh, that's a big pass,
Elton John.Copy !req
856. Ozzy starts in 30 minutes.Copy !req
857. Maybe that'll
cheer you up, Nicky.Copy !req
858. Yeah, let's roll.Copy !req
859. Actually, I don't think
I can give the Ozz manCopy !req
860. the full focus he deserves.Copy !req
861. Sorry, fellas.Copy !req
862. Oh. This chick must be
the real deal, then.Copy !req
863. Later, bro.Copy !req
864. Good-bye, John.
Okay, Pete.Copy !req
865. You better snap out
of it soon, kid,Copy !req
866. 'cause we're going
after Adrian tomorrowCopy !req
867. bright and early.
Night-night.Copy !req
868. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
869. Get some
sleep thing, Mr. Beefy.Copy !req
870. That is the most horrifying
thing I have ever seen.Copy !req
871. Go to her.Copy !req
872. All right.Copy !req
873. I smell coconuts.Copy !req
874. Coconuts.Copy !req
875. Oh. Hello.Copy !req
876. That dude
looks like a lady.Copy !req
877. You want to come in?Copy !req
878. Actually, I'm... I'm looking
for a girl named Valerie.Copy !req
879. Valerie Veran?Copy !req
880. Two floors up,
one window over.Copy !req
881. Thanks much.Copy !req
882. Good luck with
the nipple rubbing.Copy !req
883. I don't need luck.Copy !req
884. I'm good.Copy !req
885. I can see that.
Ooh!Copy !req
886. Ah!Copy !req
887. Oh, my God!
Nicky, is that you?Copy !req
888. Yes.
Stay right there.Copy !req
889. I will.Copy !req
890. Hi.Copy !req
891. What were you thinking
coming here?Copy !req
892. I don't know,
but it didn't involve
going blind.Copy !req
893. Ah!Copy !req
894. Oh, my God! Nicky!Copy !req
895. Please don't die!Copy !req
896. Nicky?Copy !req
897. Valerie?Copy !req
898. What are you doing?Copy !req
899. I... I think I'm floating.Copy !req
900. Why would you
be floating?Copy !req
901. Maybe it was because of
this cake I ate earlier.Copy !req
902. Am I supposed to not be
freaked out right now?Copy !req
903. Because I am.Copy !req
904. I'm freaked out, too.Copy !req
905. The butterflies
in my stomach
are flapping aroundCopy !req
906. in a way
I've never felt before.Copy !req
907. You got the wrong
window again, man.Copy !req
908. Oh, sorry, Nipples.
Valerie!Copy !req
909. Nicky, over here.Copy !req
910. I'm coming.Copy !req
911. Oh, my God,
you made it.Copy !req
912. Valerie, I can see again,
and you look beautiful.Copy !req
913. Look, just because
you're floatingCopy !req
914. doesn't mean
I'm going to forget about
you giving me the finger.Copy !req
915. That wasn't me.Copy !req
916. I was being possessed
by my brother Adrian.Copy !req
917. What do you mean,
possessed?Copy !req
918. Remember when I told you
that my father was in Hell?Copy !req
919. Yes.Copy !req
920. Well, that's because
he's the Devil,Copy !req
921. and he wants
to keep his throneCopy !req
922. for another
10,000 years.Copy !req
923. And that pissed off
my brothers,Copy !req
924. so they broke
the gates of Hell,Copy !req
925. which is
making my father—Copy !req
926. The Devil?Copy !req
927. Decompose.Copy !req
928. And I love my father
very much,Copy !req
929. so I came to Earth
to save him.Copy !req
930. Now I get
that deep South joke.Copy !req
931. Yes!Copy !req
932. I don't know
if I should believe you.Copy !req
933. You got to believe.Copy !req
934. Believe in the butterflies.Copy !req
935. Wait. Okay.
Okay, okay, I believe.Copy !req
936. Come on. Come back up.Copy !req
937. Take my hand, Valerie.Copy !req
938. Fly with me.Copy !req
939. I can give you the power.Copy !req
940. That's the Empire
State Building.Copy !req
941. There's Popeyes Chicken.
Right there.Copy !req
942. The Hell beast
is above us,Copy !req
943. and I can smell
an evil slut.Copy !req
944. Whoa, Devil!Copy !req
945. Did you do that?Copy !req
946. Nobody calls my girl
an evil slut.Copy !req
947. Good morning, New York.Copy !req
948. This is an Action News
special report.Copy !req
949. A shocking crimeCopy !req
950. results in a record
$50 million rewardCopy !req
951. for the capture
of this man.Copy !req
952. His name is unknown,Copy !req
953. but his actions
have earned him
the label "The Monster."Copy !req
954. He should be
considered armed and
extremely dangerous.Copy !req
955. the man who caused
such a sensationCopy !req
956. at the game yesterday
is no hero.Copy !req
957. He is, in fact,
a mass murderer.Copy !req
958. This is real bad.Copy !req
959. Where
the heck is Nicky?Copy !req
960. I have
authorized a rewardCopy !req
961. to the person who
brings this man to me.Copy !req
962. It's a setup.Copy !req
963. Good morning,
young lady.Copy !req
964. Ah, ho.Copy !req
965. That looks like
it tastes great.Copy !req
966. Look at that.Copy !req
967. Mr. Beefy would like you.Copy !req
968. Oh, look.Copy !req
969. There he is!Copy !req
970. Whoa!Copy !req
971. Wait. Wait.
What is happening?Copy !req
972. There he is!Copy !req
973. I'm not a monster.Copy !req
974. I'm not a monster.Copy !req
975. Release the evil.Copy !req
976. Hey!
Hey!Copy !req
977. Oh.Copy !req
978. Beefy, I think
I'm in trouble.Copy !req
979. The shit has
hit the fan, kid.Copy !req
980. Take a look.Copy !req
981. This videotape
will show what he did
after he left the game.Copy !req
982. Say hello
to my little friend.Copy !req
983. My name is Nicky,
and I'm going to kill all
you suckers for no reason.Copy !req
984. That's not me.
That's that cockroach
Tony Montana.Copy !req
985. It's difficult
to watch, I know.Copy !req
986. This is Adrian's work.Copy !req
987. He superimposed
your head onto Scarface.Copy !req
988. Which is probably De Palma's
third best film.Copy !req
989. Hey!Copy !req
990. Oh.Copy !req
991. I'm not Nicky.Copy !req
992. Dude, it's us.
Let us in.Copy !req
993. John, Pete.Copy !req
994. Nicky.Copy !req
995. There's, like,
a total mob scene
coming this way.Copy !req
996. It looks like
they're following a giant
trail of bug shit.Copy !req
997. What do we do now, Beefy?Copy !req
998. I don't know.Copy !req
999. This is a little
out of my league.Copy !req
1000. What would
your dad do, Nicky?Copy !req
1001. That's a great idea.Copy !req
1002. I'll ask him. Kill me.Copy !req
1003. Are you serious?Copy !req
1004. Yes. We'll meet at
Grand Central Station, noon.Copy !req
1005. Now I command you.
Do me.Copy !req
1006. All right!Copy !req
1007. Ow!Copy !req
1008. That just hurt a lot.Copy !req
1009. Still alive, though.Copy !req
1010. I've always wanted
to kill someone.Copy !req
1011. Can I give it a try?Copy !req
1012. Damn you, Kevin Spacey!Copy !req
1013. You take all my parts!Copy !req
1014. Hey, you lose.
Royal flush.Copy !req
1015. Off with the brassiere.Copy !req
1016. Whoo.Copy !req
1017. The last time I saw
a pair of jugs that big,Copy !req
1018. two hillbillies
were blowing on them.Copy !req
1019. Oh, my God, Dad.Copy !req
1020. Nicky...Copy !req
1021. I got no legs.Copy !req
1022. I got no hips.Copy !req
1023. I got one ear.Copy !req
1024. I got no ears.Copy !req
1025. Now he has no ears.
Are you happy, Nicky?Copy !req
1026. Adrian's got
the whole city
following me.Copy !req
1027. I can't hear you, Nicky!Copy !req
1028. Check one, two.
Check one, two.Copy !req
1029. Put it back on my head!Copy !req
1030. Hey, you got
until midnight tonight.Copy !req
1031. Now you get your ass
back up there,Copy !req
1032. and you save
your father. Go!Copy !req
1033. I'm going
to save you, Dad.Copy !req
1034. Go, go, go, go, go!Copy !req
1035. I'm going to save you!Copy !req
1036. Go, then! Move it!
Oh!Copy !req
1037. Go, Nicky, go!Copy !req
1038. Sure you're
down with this?Copy !req
1039. A little nervous.
Want to puke.Copy !req
1040. Hey, hey, fuzz.Copy !req
1041. We know where
to find Nicky.Copy !req
1042. Hey!Copy !req
1043. Hey, hey!Copy !req
1044. Let's go.Copy !req
1045. Hey.Copy !req
1046. What's up, Police Chief?Copy !req
1047. You have what I want?
You got what we want?Copy !req
1048. Fifty million bones, bro.Copy !req
1049. Here's the money.Copy !req
1050. Oh, my God!
That's half of it.Copy !req
1051. You get the rest
when I get Nicky.
Thanks much.Copy !req
1052. But I gotta
warn you, man.Copy !req
1053. He's kinda not human.Copy !req
1054. Really?Copy !req
1055. He might be
the son of Satan.Copy !req
1056. Hey!Copy !req
1057. Well, I guess I'm gonna
have to be extra careful,
then, aren't I?Copy !req
1058. Now, where is he?Copy !req
1059. Hey, come on,
that was cool!Copy !req
1060. Do it again!
Do it again!Copy !req
1061. Out of the way!Copy !req
1062. Where is he?Copy !req
1063. He's late.
He'll be here.
Just keep your skirt on.Copy !req
1064. That's where
he comes out of.Copy !req
1065. Over there!
Hey!Copy !req
1066. We've been ratted out.Copy !req
1067. We thought
the son of SatanCopy !req
1068. would understand
a move like this.Copy !req
1069. Get these two
out of here.Copy !req
1070. All right, this way.Copy !req
1071. Okay, okay!Copy !req
1072. What is this?
A bulldog and
his gay lover?Copy !req
1073. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
1074. It's true.Copy !req
1075. Judas.Copy !req
1076. Judas Priest, maybe.Copy !req
1077. Okay, look.
I'm only an actor.Copy !req
1078. I don't know
what's happening here.Copy !req
1079. Take him
to the holding area.Copy !req
1080. Seal off all the exits.Copy !req
1081. I'm only an actor!Copy !req
1082. Whoa.Copy !req
1083. You want to see
something cool?Copy !req
1084. Definitely.
Yeah.Copy !req
1085. Pick me a winner.Copy !req
1086. Oh, sick!Copy !req
1087. Oh, my God,
that was awesome!Copy !req
1088. So, what time's
my brother expected back?Copy !req
1089. Noon.Copy !req
1090. Ish.Copy !req
1091. Hey, even though
you're not really the Chief,Copy !req
1092. we still get the rest
of the cash, right, bro?Copy !req
1093. You know what
you'll get, boys?Copy !req
1094. An indescribably
horrific tortureCopy !req
1095. administered by demons
for the rest of eternity.Copy !req
1096. And we get to keep
the cash, too, right?Copy !req
1097. Sure.Copy !req
1098. Why not.Copy !req
1099. You're hurting me.
You're hurting me.Copy !req
1100. Shut up.Copy !req
1101. Applesauce every time.Copy !req
1102. Hey, boys!Copy !req
1103. You want a blizzard
with my flip-flop?Copy !req
1104. No thanks,Copy !req
1105. but we'll take that
bottle of booze.Copy !req
1106. Beat it, you freak.
Get outta here.Copy !req
1107. I'll be back
with my flip-flop!Copy !req
1108. Mmm. Schnapps.Copy !req
1109. Yeah.Copy !req
1110. Peppermint?Copy !req
1111. All right!Copy !req
1112. Want a hit?Copy !req
1113. Drink up, here's to
50 million clams.Copy !req
1114. To the defilement of EarthCopy !req
1115. and the corruption
of its people.Copy !req
1116. Okay, whatever.
Just drink it.Copy !req
1117. Cheers.Copy !req
1118. It's awfully hot
down here.Copy !req
1119. How do you manage
to stay so cool?Copy !req
1120. Oh, uh...Copy !req
1121. Beer lowers
the body temperature.Copy !req
1122. I read that in a...Copy !req
1123. A beer magazine.Copy !req
1124. This liquid will
probably quench my thirst.Copy !req
1125. Cool me off.Copy !req
1126. Definitely.Copy !req
1127. It give you
a pretty good buzz.Copy !req
1128. Or maybe it will
trap me inside
for all of eternity.Copy !req
1129. Um... No, it won't?Copy !req
1130. Oh, Nicky.Copy !req
1131. I've missed you.Copy !req
1132. Come out
and say hello!Copy !req
1133. I'm not Nicky.Copy !req
1134. I'm calling you out,
brother!Copy !req
1135. Adrian,
this is very painful.Copy !req
1136. Ah!
There you are.Copy !req
1137. I told you he was sick.Copy !req
1138. Oh, hello, Cassius.Copy !req
1139. All right, Adrian!
Let me out!Copy !req
1140. You know, new Hell
really only needs
one new Satan.Copy !req
1141. You mother...Copy !req
1142. But Cassius could
use some company
for the rest of eternity.Copy !req
1143. So get in the flask.Copy !req
1144. Kick his ass, Nicky.Copy !req
1145. Sleep.
You got it.Copy !req
1146. Hey, hold up.Copy !req
1147. Someone's gotta
take a pee.Copy !req
1148. That dog's
got smoke balls!Copy !req
1149. Run, Beefy!Copy !req
1150. Run!Copy !req
1151. You can't make me drink,
Adrian.Copy !req
1152. Of course I can.Copy !req
1153. Oh, it's Nicky's
little ragamuffin.Copy !req
1154. Drink or she dies.Copy !req
1155. Unlike you,
she won't come back
from where she's going.Copy !req
1156. Let go of her!Copy !req
1157. This is between you and me!Copy !req
1158. I hear a train a-comin'.Copy !req
1159. Adrian, stop!Copy !req
1160. Drink!
All right, I'll drink.
Don't hurt her.Copy !req
1161. Don't do it, Nicky!Copy !req
1162. I have to, Valerie.Copy !req
1163. Ah!Copy !req
1164. Now, that hurt
the both of us.Copy !req
1165. Ah! No!Copy !req
1166. Oh!Copy !req
1167. Valerie!Copy !req
1168. See you in Hell!Copy !req
1169. Hey, look at the bright side.Copy !req
1170. You can go for a swim.Copy !req
1171. Hey.
You can play
the harmonica,Copy !req
1172. and you can
choke someone.Copy !req
1173. Take me to my room.
I want to be alone!Copy !req
1174. In your weakened condition,
if you vacate the throne,Copy !req
1175. any of your sons can
claim the seat of power
for their own.Copy !req
1176. Horseshit.Copy !req
1177. Hey, good news.
Adrian's back.Copy !req
1178. So I'm gonna be all right?Copy !req
1179. Hello.Copy !req
1180. Where's Nicky?Copy !req
1181. He came with you
and Cassius, right?Copy !req
1182. I came through
that gate alone.Copy !req
1183. Sorry, sir.
False alarm.Copy !req
1184. Boo.Copy !req
1185. Would everyone stop
playing with meCopy !req
1186. and tell me what
my brother's up to?Copy !req
1187. Hey.Copy !req
1188. Hey.Copy !req
1189. What is this?Copy !req
1190. Is it Dad's birthday?Copy !req
1191. There he is.Copy !req
1192. Hi! Oh, I can't
believe you're here!Copy !req
1193. Welcome.Copy !req
1194. Up with the sign.Copy !req
1195. Okay.Copy !req
1196. Can I just tell you
I am so excited right now.Copy !req
1197. So excited.
She really is.Copy !req
1198. If you could point me
to the Black Palace now,Copy !req
1199. I really gotta
check in with my dad.Copy !req
1200. Aw.Copy !req
1201. Okay. Can I ask you something?Copy !req
1202. What do you know
about your mom?Copy !req
1203. My mom.Copy !req
1204. My brothers tell me that
she was a mountain goat,Copy !req
1205. which would explain
my chronic halitosis.Copy !req
1206. A mountain goat?
That's really sweet.Copy !req
1207. Jenna, chair.Copy !req
1208. Thanks.Copy !req
1209. My mother wasn't a goat?Copy !req
1210. Try an angel.Copy !req
1211. An angel?Copy !req
1212. I'm your mom.Copy !req
1213. If you're my mom,Copy !req
1214. then how come
you're not older?Copy !req
1215. Angels don't get
any older, son.Copy !req
1216. I can't believe
you just called him "son."Copy !req
1217. This is so wild!Copy !req
1218. Jenna, Christa.Copy !req
1219. Time for
your mambo lesson.Copy !req
1220. Chubbs, I'm so sorry.
I totally spaced.Copy !req
1221. I have company.
This is my son Nicky.Copy !req
1222. Hi.Copy !req
1223. Hi.Copy !req
1224. Chubbs used to be
a golf pro,Copy !req
1225. but up here
he's just the dopest
dance instructor.Copy !req
1226. Ah, that's nice.Copy !req
1227. You mambo?Copy !req
1228. I don't think so.Copy !req
1229. It's all in the hips.Copy !req
1230. It's all in the hips.Copy !req
1231. Bye, Chubbs.
Bye.Copy !req
1232. All in the hips, yeah!Copy !req
1233. Nobody in this room will
tell you a thing, Adrian.Copy !req
1234. Right!Copy !req
1235. Oh, oh!Copy !req
1236. Hey, let him go!Copy !req
1237. Perhaps a titty-twister
will loosen your lips.Copy !req
1238. No, no. Ah!Copy !req
1239. Ooh, hey,
I'm gettin' turned on.Copy !req
1240. Okay, okay!
All I know...
Yes?Copy !req
1241. is that if you
sit on that throneCopy !req
1242. in your father's
weakened condition...Copy !req
1243. Tit-head, no!Copy !req
1244. You can claim
the seat of powerCopy !req
1245. for your own.
Whoa! Ah!Copy !req
1246. Really?Copy !req
1247. As the founder of Hell,Copy !req
1248. I command you
to stay off that throne!Copy !req
1249. Hey!Copy !req
1250. Even in Hell
I get no respect.Copy !req
1251. Put me down.
Put me down!Copy !req
1252. No!Copy !req
1253. Oh!Copy !req
1254. So where did
you meet Dad?Copy !req
1255. Oh, it was a long time ago
at this Heaven-Hell mixer.Copy !req
1256. I remember that night.Copy !req
1257. You had, like,
four daiquiris.Copy !req
1258. At first I didn't
really like him.Copy !req
1259. He was really conceited.Copy !req
1260. Yeah, but he was funny.Copy !req
1261. And I hate to admit it,
but he had a really hot body.Copy !req
1262. Oh, puppy phone.Copy !req
1263. It's so cute.Copy !req
1264. Hello?Copy !req
1265. Hi, Michelle.Copy !req
1266. Yeah, he's here right now.Copy !req
1267. I don't know if he's hot.
He's my son, you perv.Copy !req
1268. Can I call you back?Copy !req
1269. That was my friend Michelle.Copy !req
1270. She says hi.
Say hi back.Copy !req
1271. I'll just call her later.Copy !req
1272. You know, Nicky,
we totally saw you save
your girlfriend's life.Copy !req
1273. That was so cool.Copy !req
1274. Yeah, that's why you came
to Heaven instead of Hell.Copy !req
1275. Self-sacrifice
automatically gets you here.Copy !req
1276. How did you see me?Copy !req
1277. We can see anything that's
going on on Earth. Look.Copy !req
1278. Someone else is taking
the internship.Copy !req
1279. Oh, that's
Felicity.
I love that show.Copy !req
1280. Do you watch?
I haven't seen it,
but I hear good things.Copy !req
1281. I don't want to go
to Colorado.Copy !req
1282. This is an Action News
special report.Copy !req
1283. Moments ago, a large chunk
of what appears to be HellCopy !req
1284. began to rise
from beneath Central Park.Copy !req
1285. Far from being terrified,Copy !req
1286. many New Yorkers have begun
flocking to the site,Copy !req
1287. turning it into
an unofficial party central.Copy !req
1288. And this just in...Copy !req
1289. I'm cheating on my husband
with the weatherman.Copy !req
1290. Show him Central Park.Copy !req
1291. I love your legs.Copy !req
1292. Yeah!Copy !req
1293. That's
my father's throne!Copy !req
1294. Is Dad okay?Copy !req
1295. Let's see.Copy !req
1296. I was a good Devil,
wasn't I?Copy !req
1297. You were
the best devil, sir!
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1298. The best Devil!Copy !req
1299. If we fall in there,
we will die. Period.Copy !req
1300. My underwear is so far
up my ass I could taste it.Copy !req
1301. I hear that.Copy !req
1302. Welcome to the party!Copy !req
1303. It's so nice
to see you all here.Copy !req
1304. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
1305. You've taken to sin
with such minimal prompting.Copy !req
1306. You're acting as if there
is no Heaven or Hell.Copy !req
1307. Well, I've got news for you.Copy !req
1308. There is most definitely
a Hell.Copy !req
1309. What?Copy !req
1310. And you're all going
to go there when you die.Copy !req
1311. Which is in about
15 minutes.Copy !req
1312. Holy shit,
we really are gonna die!Copy !req
1313. Ah!Copy !req
1314. I'm really burning now!Copy !req
1315. What are we gonna do?Copy !req
1316. I gotta help her.Copy !req
1317. I gotta help Dad.Copy !req
1318. I gotta help everybody.Copy !req
1319. At the stroke of midnight,Copy !req
1320. my father will be
completely deteriorated,Copy !req
1321. and all your souls
will be mine.Copy !req
1322. Soon you will see thingsCopy !req
1323. more horrible
than you can even imagine.Copy !req
1324. Well, maybe not
that horrible,
but still pretty bad.Copy !req
1325. So, while we wait,Copy !req
1326. for your enjoyment,Copy !req
1327. I bring you
a dear, sweet man,Copy !req
1328. Mr. Henry Winkler.Copy !req
1329. Good evening.Copy !req
1330. Covered in bees!Copy !req
1331. Ah!Copy !req
1332. Ew!Copy !req
1333. How can I win?Copy !req
1334. Adrian is stronger
and smarter than me.Copy !req
1335. Stronger, yes.Copy !req
1336. Smarter, definitely.Copy !req
1337. But you have something
that he doesn't have.Copy !req
1338. A speech impediment?Copy !req
1339. No!Copy !req
1340. The inner light, honey.Copy !req
1341. And you can totally use it.Copy !req
1342. It's the best power of all.Copy !req
1343. I do?Copy !req
1344. And God told me
if you get in really
bad trouble,Copy !req
1345. you can use this.Copy !req
1346. What is it?Copy !req
1347. Okay, I'm not totally
100 percent on that,Copy !req
1348. but God said
when the time came,Copy !req
1349. you'd know
what to do with it.Copy !req
1350. God's so smart.Copy !req
1351. Like Jeopardy
smart.Copy !req
1352. Mmm.Copy !req
1353. My little boy.
Mommy...Copy !req
1354. Get me
to the Big Apple,Copy !req
1355. 'cause I'm gonna
rock that town
like a hurricane.Copy !req
1356. You're already there.Copy !req
1357. Bye, Nicky.Copy !req
1358. Bye, Mom.Copy !req
1359. Bye.Copy !req
1360. Bye, guys.
Bye.Copy !req
1361. Nicky!Copy !req
1362. Release the good.Copy !req
1363. Ah...Copy !req
1364. Release the good.Copy !req
1365. Yes, they're furry.Copy !req
1366. Bunny, bunny,
bunny, bunny.Copy !req
1367. Release the awesome.Copy !req
1368. What you do is
put it in your mouthCopy !req
1369. and let the meat slide
down your throat hole.Copy !req
1370. Not you, not you!Copy !req
1371. Popeyes chicken
is the shizzney!Copy !req
1372. You know,Copy !req
1373. from this angle,
you're kind of cute.
You think so?Copy !req
1374. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1375. He just opened his mouth
and swallowed that spit.Copy !req
1376. Oh, that turn you on
there, RuPaul?Copy !req
1377. Excuse me. Pardon me.Copy !req
1378. Little Nicky.Copy !req
1379. Yeah, Nicky!
Nicky!Copy !req
1380. I knew you would make it!Copy !req
1381. Adrian...Copy !req
1382. I'm asking you nicely.Copy !req
1383. Let my friends alone,Copy !req
1384. and get in the flask.Copy !req
1385. Is this a joke?Copy !req
1386. No, it's the inner light,Copy !req
1387. and with it,
we can defeat
whatever you got.Copy !req
1388. It's true!Copy !req
1389. Ah!Copy !req
1390. It's not true!Copy !req
1391. Run, traitors, run!Copy !req
1392. Okay, Adrian.Copy !req
1393. You've left me
no choice.Copy !req
1394. Whoa!Copy !req
1395. Ah, th-th-th-th.Copy !req
1396. Leave this to me.Copy !req
1397. Let's see
what you've got.Copy !req
1398. Okay.Copy !req
1399. Whoa.Copy !req
1400. Ooh.Copy !req
1401. Aw.Copy !req
1402. Hey.Copy !req
1403. Ah.Copy !req
1404. Enough!Copy !req
1405. I'm going to kill you
with my bare hands.Copy !req
1406. I'm ready for you.Copy !req
1407. I guess I wasn't ready.Copy !req
1408. I totally
had to do that.Copy !req
1409. Yes!
Hell, yeah, you did.Copy !req
1410. Great job!
That's great!Copy !req
1411. Thanks, Mom!Copy !req
1412. Now, I'm gonna
ask you nicely.Copy !req
1413. Get in the fla...Copy !req
1414. Oh! Oh, you want
a pillow fight, do you?Copy !req
1415. Well, let's let
the feathers fly.Copy !req
1416. Come on, now.Copy !req
1417. Come on.Copy !req
1418. I'm right here.Copy !req
1419. Where am I going
with it, baby?Copy !req
1420. Here I am.Copy !req
1421. I'm sleeping.Copy !req
1422. Or am I?Copy !req
1423. Thanks, Mr. Winkler.Copy !req
1424. Now, I'm asking you
one last time.Copy !req
1425. Get in the flask.Copy !req
1426. A little help here, please.Copy !req
1427. Please!Copy !req
1428. Don't do this! No!Copy !req
1429. Good-bye, Nicky. Ah.Copy !req
1430. Ah!Copy !req
1431. No! Whoa!Copy !req
1432. Ow!Copy !req
1433. Nice to see you, brothers.Copy !req
1434. Now I'm gonna bust both
of your heads wide open!Copy !req
1435. No, no!Copy !req
1436. Come on!
Get 'em, Nicky!Copy !req
1437. Fight 'em, Nick!Copy !req
1438. You can do it, Nicky!Copy !req
1439. Kick him
in his hairy balls!Copy !req
1440. Good idea.Copy !req
1441. One down,
one to go, Adrian.Copy !req
1442. You've asked for this.
Time for the shovel!Copy !req
1443. Bring it on!Copy !req
1444. Kill him, Adrian!Copy !req
1445. Shut up!
Get him, Nicky!Copy !req
1446. Let go of me!Copy !req
1447. Ah.Copy !req
1448. Nicky!Copy !req
1449. Yay!Copy !req
1450. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
1451. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1452. Nicky!Copy !req
1453. How did a nice
Southern boy like youCopy !req
1454. learn to fight
like that?Copy !req
1455. I guess from my father's
side of the family.Copy !req
1456. Aw.Copy !req
1457. Mmm!Copy !req
1458. Uh-oh.Copy !req
1459. What? No tongue?Copy !req
1460. Catch me if you can!Copy !req
1461. That is wicked!Copy !req
1462. Whoo!Copy !req
1463. Not long now!Copy !req
1464. Whoo.
You gotta fly out.Copy !req
1465. Soon it will all be mine!Copy !req
1466. Nicky! I know
you can do it.Copy !req
1467. Run, run!Copy !req
1468. Do it for the butterflies.Copy !req
1469. Butterflies?Copy !req
1470. Oh, the power of good
lets you fly out.Copy !req
1471. Well, you're
too late, Nicky!Copy !req
1472. Behold your new Satan!Copy !req
1473. What... What's that?
What's with the ball?Copy !req
1474. Ozzy?Copy !req
1475. Holy shit.Copy !req
1476. Not... No, no, no, no!Copy !req
1477. You can do it, Ozzy!Copy !req
1478. Bite his frickin' head off!Copy !req
1479. No!Copy !req
1480. Spit him in the flask!Copy !req
1481. Here you go, Ozzy.Copy !req
1482. Grand Central, Nicky!
Start running.Copy !req
1483. You'll never make it.
You've gotta die.Copy !req
1484. I'll just go to Heaven.Copy !req
1485. Not if you do something bad
right before you die.Copy !req
1486. You're right.Copy !req
1487. Hey, Nicky!
Cover Winkler in bees!Copy !req
1488. You can do it!Copy !req
1489. Sorry, Henry.Copy !req
1490. Okay, do me!
With what?Copy !req
1491. I don't know.
I don't know!Copy !req
1492. Here.
Kill him with this.Copy !req
1493. I'll never
forget you, guys.Copy !req
1494. And we will never
forget you, my friend.Copy !req
1495. Valerie?Copy !req
1496. I love you.Copy !req
1497. And I love you, Nicky.Copy !req
1498. I got them, Dad!
I did it!Copy !req
1499. I did it, Daddy!Copy !req
1500. Unholiness, you're back!Copy !req
1501. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1502. You look great!Copy !req
1503. Dad! Dad!Copy !req
1504. You're all right!Copy !req
1505. You came through, Nicky.Copy !req
1506. I came through
for you, Dad,Copy !req
1507. and I came
through for MomCopy !req
1508. and the butterflies.Copy !req
1509. You're back
in Hell now, kid.Copy !req
1510. There are
no butterflies here.Copy !req
1511. If you want butterflies,
you need to be on Earth.Copy !req
1512. What about
you and GrandpaCopy !req
1513. and everybody
in Hell?
Nicky...Copy !req
1514. I let my butterflies die
once upon a time,Copy !req
1515. and it's never
stopped hurting.Copy !req
1516. That's right!Copy !req
1517. You heard me, Holly.Copy !req
1518. What?Copy !req
1519. I'm still in love
with you!Copy !req
1520. Oh, my God,
he's talking about me.Copy !req
1521. And don't think I forgot
about how crazy you get
after a few daiquiris.Copy !req
1522. That guy is still
the biggest horndog.Copy !req
1523. Yeah, he is.Copy !req
1524. Listen, I got down low.Copy !req
1525. Your mom's got up high.Copy !req
1526. You take care
of the middle.Copy !req
1527. Okay, Dad.Copy !req
1528. But...Copy !req
1529. In the words
of Motley Crue,Copy !req
1530. this will always be
my home sweet home.Copy !req
1531. Don't be afraid
to show your face.Copy !req
1532. You're such
a handsome boy.Copy !req
1533. I hate to interrupt,
but, uh...Copy !req
1534. It's time for
Hitler's punishment.Copy !req
1535. I'll take that.Copy !req
1536. Maybe they're
gonna let us out.Copy !req
1537. Grandpa!Copy !req
1538. Okay, kids.
Enjoy your new home!Copy !req
1539. No, no, no, no!Copy !req
1540. Holy shnit! Oh!Copy !req
1541. Such a little angel.Copy !req
1542. Only a quarter, ma'am.Copy !req
1543. Tickle, tickle, tickle.Copy !req
1544. Sorry!Copy !req