1. Let me show you
what I made today.Copy !req
2. I can't wait.Copy !req
3. I need to go upstairs
and change...Copy !req
4. and then I'll start dinner.Copy !req
5. Oh, yes, it's ladies night,
and the feel--Copy !req
6. Showtime.Copy !req
7. Rough day at the office,
Mrs. Dunleavy?Copy !req
8. You'll feel better once you
get out of those work clothes.Copy !req
9. And into some sweats.Copy !req
10. I wish you'd let me
rub those feet.Copy !req
11. Of course,
I wouldn't use my hands.Copy !req
12. I think Victoria
just told me her secret.Copy !req
13. Deedly dee.
Are those things for me?Copy !req
14. Mom, coming in.Copy !req
15. Scottie Dunleavy?Copy !req
16. What unfortunate timing.Copy !req
17. Get out. Don't you know
this is naughty time?Copy !req
18. I'll get it.Copy !req
19. Hello, Scottie. Why don't you
be a good little boy...Copy !req
20. go downstairs
and let your mother get comfy?Copy !req
21. Who is this?Copy !req
22. This is a big bird who wants
to see the rest of Mommy.Copy !req
23. Oh, my God, Scottie.
Is that a man up our tree?Copy !req
24. No, no.
Tell her it's just a big bird.Copy !req
25. Hey, pal, welcome.Copy !req
26. Welcome to what? Where am I?Copy !req
27. Aren't you that horny guy who
was pretending to be a big bird?Copy !req
28. Checking out that beautiful mom?Copy !req
29. Yes, I am.Copy !req
30. Now you'll see what a big horny
bird actually looks like...Copy !req
31. in Hell!Copy !req
32. I deserve this!Copy !req
33. - Knock, knock.
- Hey, Jimmy.Copy !req
34. - What are you doing, Nicky?
- Just jamming.Copy !req
35. Your father wants you and your
brothers in the throne room.Copy !req
36. He's not retiring today, is he?Copy !req
37. He wants to talk to you
and Cassius and Adrian...Copy !req
38. about who'll rule Hell
for the next 10,000 years.Copy !req
39. Why do I need to go?
He won't pick me.Copy !req
40. I happen to think
you'd make a great Devil.Copy !req
41. I'm not into evil and torture
and all that stuff.Copy !req
42. Plus, the Prince of Darkness
should look distinguished...Copy !req
43. and let's face facts,
I'm no George Clooney.Copy !req
44. You're not
a bad-looking guy, Nicky.Copy !req
45. Look at that picture.Copy !req
46. I used to talk normal, too...Copy !req
47. before Cassius hit me
in the face with a shovel.Copy !req
48. That's me now, and I accept it.Copy !req
49. Your brothers are two of
the sickest guys I've ever seen.Copy !req
50. For some reason, you're not.
Nothing to be ashamed of.Copy !req
51. Their mothers were fire dragons
and mine was a goat.Copy !req
52. How do I compete with that?Copy !req
53. Your mother was not a goat.
They're just playing with you.Copy !req
54. If one of those psychos
gets picked, I'm doomed.Copy !req
55. I knew it, Adrian.
He's finally retiring.Copy !req
56. Cassius, I've been waiting on
this day for 10,000 years.Copy !req
57. If the old man picks me
to take over Hell...Copy !req
58. I'll keep torture going 24-7.
No breaks.Copy !req
59. Whoa, mama!Copy !req
60. You got him right in the eye.Copy !req
61. Hey! How's Daddy's
little girl doing today?Copy !req
62. I didn't see you guys.
What's up?Copy !req
63. Shovel face,
you want to mind-wrestle?Copy !req
64. Nah, I'm all right.Copy !req
65. I was thinking of chilling out
by the throne for a bit.Copy !req
66. I'm going to mind-wrestle you
whether you like it or not.Copy !req
67. I have to warn you,
I'm getting pretty good at it.Copy !req
68. Then I guess
I can't make you do this.Copy !req
69. Mercy. You win.
I give. Game over.Copy !req
70. What are you boys doing?Copy !req
71. Nothing, Dad. Just hitting
the old punching bags.Copy !req
72. Cassius...Copy !req
73. didn't I tell you to stay out
of your brother's mind?Copy !req
74. I forgot.Copy !req
75. Maybe this
will help you remember.Copy !req
76. Now, everybody come sit down.Copy !req
77. - Hey, Dad.
- Yes, son?Copy !req
78. I know you got a lot
on your mind...Copy !req
79. but I almost finished that
Monsters of Metal compilation.Copy !req
80. I really think it's turning
into a masterpiece.Copy !req
81. Okay, kid.
We'll listen to it later.Copy !req
82. Thanks.Copy !req
83. A window.Copy !req
84. Hello, Mr. Devil.
I like your cape.Copy !req
85. I deserve this!Copy !req
86. Fellas, this,
as some of you might know...Copy !req
87. is my 10,000th year
as Prince of Darkness...Copy !req
88. so I think the time has come
to discuss who will succeed me.Copy !req
89. - Knock, knock.
- Yes, Jimmy?Copy !req
90. Don't forget--Copy !req
91. you're shoving a pineapple
up Hitler's ass at four p.m.Copy !req
92. This was a very
difficult decision...Copy !req
93. because I have
three wonderful sons.Copy !req
94. Adrian--so smart, so ruthless.Copy !req
95. Wears makeup.Copy !req
96. And Cassius--
so strong, so tough.Copy !req
97. Don't forget clinically insane.Copy !req
98. And Nicky...Copy !req
99. such a sweet boy.Copy !req
100. But after much thought
and careful consideration...Copy !req
101. I've decided that the ruler
for the next 10,000 years...Copy !req
102. is going to have to be...Copy !req
103. me.Copy !req
104. - What?
- Hallelujah!Copy !req
105. I mean, that sucks!Copy !req
106. The important thing
for the stability of our rule...Copy !req
107. is to maintain the balance
between good and evil...Copy !req
108. and I don't think any of you are
ready for that responsibility.Copy !req
109. Dad, this is bullshit!Copy !req
110. I don't like that language.Copy !req
111. Right. Send him in.Copy !req
112. Sorry, boys.
I have to get back to work.Copy !req
113. It was good
hanging with you, Dad.Copy !req
114. I'll check you later.Copy !req
115. You're serious?Copy !req
116. Off, off, off!Copy !req
117. Damn!Copy !req
118. Twenty thousand years ago,
Grandpa Lucifer said...Copy !req
119. "It's better to rule in Hell
than to serve in Heaven."Copy !req
120. Well, I'm tired
of serving in Hell.Copy !req
121. We need somewhere
where we can rule.Copy !req
122. Bring it on, big man.
Let's see what you got.Copy !req
123. Could you concentrate
for five seconds?Copy !req
124. I am concentrating, man.Copy !req
125. I'm sorry.Copy !req
126. After careful consideration,
I must respectfully decline.Copy !req
127. I can't stand retirement.Copy !req
128. Just let me win one Super Bowl.Copy !req
129. In exchange for eternal
damnation of your soul?Copy !req
130. You're much too nice a guy
for that, Mr. Marino.Copy !req
131. You did it for Namath.Copy !req
132. Joe was coming here anyways.Copy !req
133. This sucks.Copy !req
134. I'll go to the Super Bowl
as an announcer...Copy !req
135. and win myself an Emmy!Copy !req
136. That's the spirit.Copy !req
137. You're a good Devil, Dad.Copy !req
138. I also happen to be a Jets fan.Copy !req
139. What do you think about Earth?Copy !req
140. We could create
our own Hell there.Copy !req
141. Are you saying we go up there
and kill everyone?Copy !req
142. Eventually, Cassius...Copy !req
143. but first we'd have to corrupt
as many souls as we can...Copy !req
144. so when we do destroy them...Copy !req
145. Their damned souls will be ours.Copy !req
146. It's our time, brother.Copy !req
147. This is not good.Copy !req
148. Whoa, whoa.
Fellas, what are you doing?Copy !req
149. We're leaving.Copy !req
150. You can't go through there!Copy !req
151. The fire flows in, not out.Copy !req
152. You really suck!Copy !req
153. Your Evilness!Copy !req
154. Cassius and Adrian
have escaped from Hell.Copy !req
155. They went out through the fire
and froze it.Copy !req
156. I tried to stop them, sir,
but they overpowered me.Copy !req
157. Calm down. Get off your knees.Copy !req
158. Thank you for understanding,
Your Wickedness.Copy !req
159. You're the man.
I've always said that.Copy !req
160. Are there boobs on my head?Copy !req
161. Yeah. Big ones.Copy !req
162. What's going on, Dad?Copy !req
163. I'm going to die, Nicky.
The gates are broken.Copy !req
164. No new souls can get in,
so I'll start to deteriorate.Copy !req
165. What's with all
those "hoo hoo" noises?Copy !req
166. Everything's fine, Pop.Copy !req
167. Everything's fine?
Who are you bullshitting?Copy !req
168. Last time you said that,
the Renaissance happened.Copy !req
169. Please, Pop,
go back to your room.Copy !req
170. Can I take him with me?Copy !req
171. Sure, Pop. Whatever you want.Copy !req
172. Tit-head, go with my father.Copy !req
173. Not a damn soul is going
to get through that.Copy !req
174. This fire is solid as rock.Copy !req
175. We got to get this bad boy
burning again.Copy !req
176. To do that,
Cassius and Adrian...Copy !req
177. have to come back through
the other way.Copy !req
178. So go get them, Dad.Copy !req
179. I'm too weak.
The process has already begun.Copy !req
180. So go get them, Jimmy.Copy !req
181. I'm just a demon.
No Devil blood in me.Copy !req
182. I wouldn't last two minutes
with your brothers.Copy !req
183. Are you saying it's up to me?Copy !req
184. You said no souls
could get through that.Copy !req
185. Nicky, are you a soul
or the spawn of Satan?Copy !req
186. I never been to Earth, Dad.Copy !req
187. I never even slept over
some other dude's house.Copy !req
188. The worst thing that could
happen is you get killed.Copy !req
189. In which case, boom--
you end up back here.Copy !req
190. So I need to go to Earth
and kill my brothers?Copy !req
191. No go. They left together
at the exact same time.Copy !req
192. They must come back together
at the exact same time.Copy !req
193. Here.Copy !req
194. Get them to drink from this.Copy !req
195. One sip,
and they'll be trapped inside.Copy !req
196. Once you've got both of them,
bring it back through the gate.Copy !req
197. Let me, sir.Copy !req
198. Gross!Copy !req
199. He's got less than a week.Copy !req
200. Dad, I don't know
if I can do this.Copy !req
201. Son, you...Copy !req
202. Try your best.Copy !req
203. Earth.Copy !req
204. It doesn't look too bad.Copy !req
205. You were gone ten seconds.
What happened?Copy !req
206. I got hit by this big light
attached to a lot of metal.Copy !req
207. That's a train, son.
Don't stand in front of them.Copy !req
208. I'll have to take a mulligan
on this one.Copy !req
209. Please, Nicky,
get back up there.Copy !req
210. All right.Copy !req
211. I'll get that for you, sir.Copy !req
212. I'm Nicky.Copy !req
213. That's terrific.Copy !req
214. Now get off the track
and come with me, handsome.Copy !req
215. Welcome to Grand Central Station
in New York City.Copy !req
216. My name is Beefy.Copy !req
217. I'm an old friend
of your father's.Copy !req
218. He asked me to help you out.Copy !req
219. I just want to find my brothers
and be on my way.Copy !req
220. It's not going to be easy.Copy !req
221. Your brothers
can possess people...Copy !req
222. so they probably
won't look like themselves.Copy !req
223. You have to be suspicious
of everyone.Copy !req
224. All right, bro.Copy !req
225. The jig is up, then.
Get in the flask.Copy !req
226. It ain't me, moron.Copy !req
227. Sorry.Copy !req
228. There's this blind guy outside
you might think is possessed...Copy !req
229. but he's just crazy.Copy !req
230. Though I cannot see
with these blind eyes...Copy !req
231. I know the good Lord
still loves me.Copy !req
232. He loves all of his children.Copy !req
233. - Why, he loves you...
- That's him.Copy !req
234. ...and he loves you.Copy !req
235. Here he goes.Copy !req
236. You make the Lord very nervous.Copy !req
237. All right.Copy !req
238. - I'm burning now.
- Take it easy.Copy !req
239. Hellfire is burning me alive!Copy !req
240. He's burning.Copy !req
241. The Beast is alive!
He's among us!Copy !req
242. Clear the streets!
The Devil is here!Copy !req
243. Making friends already.Copy !req
244. I don't know
what that guy's problem was.Copy !req
245. It's freezing up here.Copy !req
246. You're in the human world now,
kid.Copy !req
247. You'll feel a lot of new things
you never felt before.Copy !req
248. Let's get you some warm clothes
and hot food.Copy !req
249. Put it in your mouth.Copy !req
250. Now move your teeth
up and down.Copy !req
251. Up and down.Copy !req
252. Good, numb nuts.Copy !req
253. Now you got to swallow it.Copy !req
254. Tilt your head back...Copy !req
255. and let the meat
slide down your throat hole.Copy !req
256. Easy. Don't choke.Copy !req
257. Popeye's chicken
is fucking awesome.Copy !req
258. Now eat up.
You'll need your energy.Copy !req
259. I got energy up the ying-yang.
Let's save Dad.Copy !req
260. Adrian! Cassius!Copy !req
261. Oh, boy.Copy !req
262. So nice.Copy !req
263. I like your brassiere.Copy !req
264. Thank you.Copy !req
265. Could you guys maybe
not tell anyone about this?Copy !req
266. You got it.Copy !req
267. Do you mind maybe not telling
anybody about this?Copy !req
268. You got it.Copy !req
269. Look, sidewalk equals safety.Copy !req
270. Middle of the road equals death.Copy !req
271. From now on, I'll just avoid
all moving metal objects.Copy !req
272. Great. Now, your father
gave me some deposit money...Copy !req
273. for a nice pad
on the Upper East Side...Copy !req
274. but I misplaced it.Copy !req
275. I'm wasted!Copy !req
276. So I found
this other joint for you...Copy !req
277. but you're going
to have a roommate.Copy !req
278. There's only one thing better...Copy !req
279. than drinking
an ice-cold whiskey sour...Copy !req
280. on a hot Alabama night...Copy !req
281. and that's telling the truth.Copy !req
282. I know what you think
about me, Grandma.Copy !req
283. You think I'm worthless.Copy !req
284. You think I'm a stumblebum...Copy !req
285. who ain't never going
to amount to anything.Copy !req
286. Well, old woman, you are wrong.Copy !req
287. You are wrong.Copy !req
288. Hello, friend.
My name is Nicky.Copy !req
289. I understand
you are seeking a roommate...Copy !req
290. as per your ad
in the "Village Voice."Copy !req
291. Would it be possible for me
to fill the slot?Copy !req
292. Don't you want
to know what rent is?Copy !req
293. Yes. What is rent?Copy !req
294. It's 1,200,
split down the middle.Copy !req
295. Tuesdays and Thursdays,
I rehearse with my partner...Copy !req
296. so the living room's
going to be off-limits.Copy !req
297. Off-limits.Copy !req
298. Aren't you boiling hot
in that outfit?Copy !req
299. It's 80 degrees in this hallway.
Where are you from, the South?Copy !req
300. The Deep South.Copy !req
301. - Why is that funny?
- I don't know.Copy !req
302. Okay. And sorry, guy,
but no doggies allowed.Copy !req
303. Go on. Big day tomorrow.Copy !req
304. And don't forget to do that
sleep thing I told you about.Copy !req
305. Gotcha.Copy !req
306. You're not my brother, are you?Copy !req
307. I'm an only child.Copy !req
308. You love acting.Copy !req
309. I love pissing.Copy !req
310. Oh, my God!Copy !req
311. In today's Gospel...Copy !req
312. the Lord tells us
how we should live...Copy !req
313. if we wish to attain
the splendour of Heaven.Copy !req
314. Or something like that.Copy !req
315. Jesus this, Moses that.Copy !req
316. Abraham hit me
with a wiffle ball bat.Copy !req
317. The Lord said a lot of hibbity
jibbity bibbity swibbity.Copy !req
318. But...Copy !req
319. has he ever really done
anything for any of us?Copy !req
320. Has he ever put a Jaguar XJR
in my driveway?Copy !req
321. No.Copy !req
322. I love that car.Copy !req
323. Has the Lord given
any of my enemies the herpes?Copy !req
324. No.Copy !req
325. The Lord gave my son
the strength to get off drugs.Copy !req
326. Ma'am, I know your son...Copy !req
327. and, believe me,
he was better off on the drugs.Copy !req
328. At least
when he was smoking hashish...Copy !req
329. he used to make me laugh
occasionally.Copy !req
330. After we tried for many years...Copy !req
331. the Lord finally helped
my wife conceive a baby.Copy !req
332. Your best friend Fitzy
helped your wife.Copy !req
333. He helped her conceive it
all night long.Copy !req
334. How about you, Mayor?Copy !req
335. Has the Lord
ever done anything for you?Copy !req
336. Well, you know, I wished
I could think of something...Copy !req
337. but, to be honest with you,
I can't.Copy !req
338. I can't think of a damn thing
he's ever done for me!Copy !req
339. Kind of makes you wonder
if there even is a Lord...Copy !req
340. if there is ultimate punishment
for our so-called sins.Copy !req
341. Why don't we just have fun...Copy !req
342. and do whatever the Hell
we want?Copy !req
343. Let the sin begin!Copy !req
344. Let the sin begin.Copy !req
345. That was a good one.Copy !req
346. This is so much fun!Copy !req
347. I never want it to end.Copy !req
348. Why should it end?
Who's going to stop us?Copy !req
349. Come on. There's ten million
people in this city...Copy !req
350. and the clock is ticking.Copy !req
351. Let's rock and roll, then.Copy !req
352. - Get in the flask.
- I'm not thirsty!Copy !req
353. Cassius, I'll show you.Copy !req
354. Cassius, get in the flask.Copy !req
355. Get in the flask.Copy !req
356. - May I help you?
- Get in the flask.Copy !req
357. What are you talking about?Copy !req
358. I'm talking about
an eight-piece. Let's go.Copy !req
359. Look, it's okay for me
to shit in the street...Copy !req
360. but you got to use a toilet.Copy !req
361. Nicky, where are you?Copy !req
362. Aw, come on.Copy !req
363. What's he doing now?Copy !req
364. Just get in the flask.
I got to get Adrian.Copy !req
365. Gary's so hairy.Copy !req
366. Tickle, tickle, tickle.Copy !req
367. All that chasing
and running around...Copy !req
368. is making me want
to do the sleep thing again.Copy !req
369. Kid, I like your enthusiasm,
but we have to work on...Copy !req
370. narrowing down
our list of suspects.Copy !req
371. I'm going to check in with
some of my contacts uptown.Copy !req
372. Kid's got a lot of evil in him
just begging to come out.Copy !req
373. I will eat your heart.Copy !req
374. There's our man.Copy !req
375. Mr. Sleepyhead must have some
major ties to the dark side.Copy !req
376. What's with that guy?Copy !req
377. It's got to be one
of his disciples or something.Copy !req
378. My man's into
deep nocturnal shit.Copy !req
379. I think that Devil guy
just got ripped off.Copy !req
380. - Should we wake him up?
- You do it.Copy !req
381. Rise and shine, Devil guy.Copy !req
382. Some dude stole your shit.Copy !req
383. What? Where?Copy !req
384. - Which way did he go?
- That way.Copy !req
385. Thanks. Give me back my flask!Copy !req
386. Did you check out
the dragon mouth?Copy !req
387. The Dark Prince is here.Copy !req
388. Check out my stuff.
I got a comb only used twice.Copy !req
389. I got a pepper shaker.
A silver doodad from Africa.Copy !req
390. See something you like, my man?Copy !req
391. I would like my flask back.Copy !req
392. You calling me a thief?Copy !req
393. I'm calling you
the guy who has my flask.Copy !req
394. How would I have it
unless I was, in fact, a thief?Copy !req
395. - I don't know.
- Now you've done it.Copy !req
396. You messed
with my business, bitch.Copy !req
397. I would appreciate it
if you kept your voice down.Copy !req
398. You going all crazy-eyed on me.Copy !req
399. I'll show you some crazy eye.Copy !req
400. Look at this.
Come on, let's get busy.Copy !req
401. - Excuse me, sir.
- Who?Copy !req
402. Does that flask
belong to this man?Copy !req
403. You calling me a thief, too?
Damn.Copy !req
404. Look, the guy you ripped off
walked by and busted you...Copy !req
405. so why don't you just give him
his flask back?Copy !req
406. You going to bite me with
your snaggletooth if I don't?Copy !req
407. No. But that policeman
might have something to say.Copy !req
408. Take your dumb-ass canteen,
goofy.Copy !req
409. Get your raggedy-ass clothes
and find another corner...Copy !req
410. before I show you
what crazy really is.Copy !req
411. Fine. I will.Copy !req
412. I'm a businessman.Copy !req
413. I'll be seeing you
in a few years.Copy !req
414. Excuse me.Copy !req
415. That was amazing.
I just wanted to thank you.Copy !req
416. That's okay.
I get messed with all the time.Copy !req
417. When I saw him do that to you,
I just lost it.Copy !req
418. I hate when people
take advantage of tourists.Copy !req
419. What makes you think
I'm a tourist?Copy !req
420. Your accent, maybe.Copy !req
421. Well, where are you from?Copy !req
422. - The South.
- Really?Copy !req
423. The Deep South.Copy !req
424. Why are we laughing?Copy !req
425. I don't know,
but I was enjoying it.Copy !req
426. Your glasses are pretty.Copy !req
427. They make your eyes
look big and sparkly.Copy !req
428. It's fun looking at them.Copy !req
429. My dad's an optometrist.Copy !req
430. My dad's in Hell,
and he's falling apart.Copy !req
431. I'm sorry.Copy !req
432. It's really tough
when your folks get older.Copy !req
433. I don't know what I would do
if I couldn't save him.Copy !req
434. I'm sure a nice Southern boy
like you...Copy !req
435. will figure something out.Copy !req
436. You want some Popeye's?Copy !req
437. No. I had my lunch already.Copy !req
438. But I wouldn't mind
getting a gelati.Copy !req
439. Could I come with you
to getting a gelati?Copy !req
440. If you want to.Copy !req
441. - Here you go, pal. Enjoy.
- Thank you.Copy !req
442. It's freezing my hands.Copy !req
443. - Even with those gloves on?
- It's cold.Copy !req
444. - Let me wrap it.
- Please. Thank you.Copy !req
445. Gelati.Copy !req
446. Better?Copy !req
447. Why are you taunting me
with your darkness?Copy !req
448. Your evil,
it's stinking up our streets!Copy !req
449. The end is near!
We are all going to die!Copy !req
450. This town is really
going to Hell lately.Copy !req
451. What part of town
do you live in?Copy !req
452. I have an apartment.
I'm not sure where.Copy !req
453. My dog knows, though.Copy !req
454. You have a dog? What kind?Copy !req
455. I don't know.
I'd ask him...Copy !req
456. but he's uptown
meeting his contacts.Copy !req
457. Say "Mr. Beefy." Say it.Copy !req
458. Mr. Beefy.Copy !req
459. And I love you!Copy !req
460. You go to school?
What's that like?Copy !req
461. I go
to Parsons School of Design.Copy !req
462. I knew growing up
I wasn't much to look at...Copy !req
463. so I concentrated on
making things that are pretty.Copy !req
464. You have a nice smell
coming off you.Copy !req
465. That's my perfume.Copy !req
466. It's called
Comme de Sud Pacific.Copy !req
467. I think that's French
for "Coconuts."Copy !req
468. That's better than the gelati.Copy !req
469. Valerie, it feels like there's
a bunch of butterflies...Copy !req
470. flapping around
in my stomach right now.Copy !req
471. Is that normal?Copy !req
472. Sometimes, sure.Copy !req
473. Good, because I was concerned.Copy !req
474. Why did they do this to me?
I was good to them.Copy !req
475. I can hardly notice. Honest.Copy !req
476. I sure hope Nicky's
kicking some ass on Earth...Copy !req
477. or we are doomed.Copy !req
478. I was the one who created Hell.Copy !req
479. I know, Your Hatefulness.Copy !req
480. Actually, the credit
belongs to my first wife.Copy !req
481. She was the inspiration.Copy !req
482. Chewbacca, take it easy,
will you?Copy !req
483. You look like my first wife.
Only she had more hair.Copy !req
484. In another startling
announcement from City Hall...Copy !req
485. Mayor Randolph has,
effective immediately...Copy !req
486. Iowered the legal drinking age
from twenty-one to ten.Copy !req
487. When an adult goes to Hell,
that's terrific.Copy !req
488. But when a child goes...Copy !req
489. That's why I'm in this business.Copy !req
490. Little Nicky.Copy !req
491. - Know what's nice about you?
- What?Copy !req
492. I like the way you're happy
just being yourself.Copy !req
493. You don't try to act cool.Copy !req
494. Thanks much, Valerie.Copy !req
495. You know what's nice about you?Copy !req
496. Your juicy heart-shaped heinie.Copy !req
497. What was that?Copy !req
498. I don't know why I said that.
I meant to say that...Copy !req
499. I've always dreamt about
having sex with a gross pig.Copy !req
500. Can I wash my winky
in your kitchen sinky?Copy !req
501. You're a real jerk!Copy !req
502. I didn't mean to be.Copy !req
503. What the--Adrian!Copy !req
504. Dad needs you
to come back to Hell.Copy !req
505. So he sent old Shovel Face
to fetch me.Copy !req
506. I'm not kidding.
He's in trouble.Copy !req
507. So are you.Copy !req
508. Hey, Valerie!Copy !req
509. What is your problem?Copy !req
510. I'm sorry!Copy !req
511. Adrian, you froze the fire gate,
and Dad is dying...Copy !req
512. so get your booty
back home or else!Copy !req
513. You can't talk tough, Nicky.Copy !req
514. Even the voice inside your head
has a speech impediment.Copy !req
515. You're going back
because I'm going to make you!Copy !req
516. How about this?
I'll stay here...Copy !req
517. enjoying my pizza
and my peppermint schnapps...Copy !req
518. and you go back.Copy !req
519. Adrian, don't!Copy !req
520. Cut the crap! This is serious!Copy !req
521. Come on!Copy !req
522. I was driving to work today...Copy !req
523. some bozo in a Cadillac
cuts me off.Copy !req
524. So I followed him.Copy !req
525. When he got out of his car,
I run up behind him...Copy !req
526. and start bashing his brains in
with this bat.Copy !req
527. Did you ever see
"The Untouchables"?Copy !req
528. I was De Niro!Copy !req
529. What's happened to you, Regis?Copy !req
530. The mayor's office today...Copy !req
531. along with the New York
Board of Tourism...Copy !req
532. unveiled its new motto
to replace "I Love New York."Copy !req
533. "I Love Hookers" will now be
the city's catch phrase.Copy !req
534. Your brothers are upsetting
the balance...Copy !req
535. between good and evil.Copy !req
536. What can I do about it?Copy !req
537. You can't do jack shit...Copy !req
538. unless you learn
your evil powers.Copy !req
539. Go get a soda out of the fridge.Copy !req
540. But those are
my roommate's sodas.Copy !req
541. "But those are
my roommate's sodas."Copy !req
542. Does that sound like a statement
the son of the Devil would make?Copy !req
543. All right. Take it easy.Copy !req
544. You have the power to change
the cola in that can...Copy !req
545. into any other liquid.Copy !req
546. Engine oil, bat's blood,
moose piss.Copy !req
547. You just have to release
the evil within.Copy !req
548. Release the evil?Copy !req
549. I'm just saying
there's wickedness in you.Copy !req
550. I can tell from your snores.Copy !req
551. Really?Copy !req
552. Release your evil.Copy !req
553. Release the evil.Copy !req
554. Come on, you can do it.Copy !req
555. There it is.Copy !req
556. You got it in you.Copy !req
557. What are you doing?Copy !req
558. I'm going to pretend I didn't
see a dog on the couch...Copy !req
559. because my brain just can't
process that right now.Copy !req
560. But were you about
to drink one of my Cokes?Copy !req
561. No. I was just looking at it.Copy !req
562. It's beautiful.Copy !req
563. This Coke tastes like Pepsi.Copy !req
564. You changed a Coke into a Pepsi?Copy !req
565. That was
your big transformation?Copy !req
566. Come on, man,
give it up a little.Copy !req
567. It was pretty good
for my first try.Copy !req
568. Do you care that your brothers
are killing your father?Copy !req
569. Yes, I care!Copy !req
570. And he is not going to die!Copy !req
571. Atta-boy.Copy !req
572. I'm freaked out.
My television just blew up.Copy !req
573. You're damn right it did!Copy !req
574. I mean, really?Copy !req
575. I know this is
your living room time...Copy !req
576. but could I finish watching
the Globetrotters out here?Copy !req
577. It's the craziest game
I've ever seen.Copy !req
578. He's walking! Get him a bus!Copy !req
579. This is the part I don't get.Copy !req
580. Another terrible call.Copy !req
581. There's no way
that was travelling.Copy !req
582. What's with all the calls?
We haven't lost in 53 years!Copy !req
583. Guess what, cornrows?Copy !req
584. Technical foul!
You're out of here!Copy !req
585. Why's the referee being so mean
to the Globetrotters, Daddy?Copy !req
586. I've been watching these guys
play since I was your age.Copy !req
587. It's all part of the show, baby.Copy !req
588. That guy in the striped shirt...Copy !req
589. snapped his fingers
like somebody I know!Copy !req
590. Normally the Globetrotters
represent family entertainment.Copy !req
591. Who gives a shit?Copy !req
592. These kids came here to see
the Globetrotters win!Copy !req
593. Ten points off the Globetrotters
on account of the bigmouth!Copy !req
594. It's all part of the show, baby!Copy !req
595. Hit the half-time buzzer.
I'm tired.Copy !req
596. If the second half doesn't
get any better than this...Copy !req
597. you can expect
a full-scale riot.Copy !req
598. Ladies and gentlemen,
it is now time...Copy !req
599. for the Globetrotters' half-time
half-court heave-ho throw!Copy !req
600. If the contestant makes it...Copy !req
601. everyone here
will get a free pizza pie!Copy !req
602. I ain't taking the shot.
These people are crazy.Copy !req
603. Excuse me. I'll take that shot.Copy !req
604. What made you want to see
the Globetrotters today, son?Copy !req
605. I came for the beer
and the bitches.Copy !req
606. Look who's back from the dead.Copy !req
607. Six-six-six! Pickup sticks!Copy !req
608. Please welcome Miguel Sanchez
from the Bronx, New York!Copy !req
609. What's Nicky doing there?Copy !req
610. Trying to capture
his brother in a flask...Copy !req
611. and preserve the balance
of good and evil on Earth.Copy !req
612. - Did you just talk?
- No.Copy !req
613. - Are you Miguel from the Bronx?
- No. I'm Nicky from the South.Copy !req
614. Hey, give me that!Copy !req
615. You better win these people
some free pizza...Copy !req
616. because it looks like they're
about to kill each other.Copy !req
617. All right.Copy !req
618. Who's that man, Mommy?Copy !req
619. I don't know,
but he sure is butt-ugly.Copy !req
620. Release the evil.Copy !req
621. Too much evil.Copy !req
622. I think that ball just blew up,
and, yes, my hair is aflame.Copy !req
623. I don't know
what the Hell that was.Copy !req
624. - Don't do it again, huh?
- All right.Copy !req
625. I command you not to blow up
and go into that metal circle.Copy !req
626. Get that crap out of here!Copy !req
627. I know you're having fun,
Cassius...Copy !req
628. but you really got
to come back to Hell.Copy !req
629. Look around you, Nicky.
We're in Hell. The new Hell.Copy !req
630. Do it! Do it! Do it!Copy !req
631. I was sent here
to take you back...Copy !req
632. and that's what I'm going to do.Copy !req
633. Don't make me take out
the shovel again, Trick.Copy !req
634. I think we're about to see
a Devil showdown.Copy !req
635. Dad got sick when you guys left.Copy !req
636. I'm glad he's dying...Copy !req
637. because it's my turn now.Copy !req
638. You're going to wish
you never said that.Copy !req
639. Take him to the hole, Nicky.Copy !req
640. I mean, woof woof.Copy !req
641. Come on, brother, come on!Copy !req
642. Come on!Copy !req
643. Daddy can't help you!Copy !req
644. Enough!Copy !req
645. This show gets better
every year!Copy !req
646. That was sick.
Who taught you that shit?Copy !req
647. Sorry, Cassius.Copy !req
648. It must be the Super Devil Juice
Dad gave me.Copy !req
649. Super Devil Juice?
Give me that, little girl.Copy !req
650. Don't drink out of it, please!Copy !req
651. Now that was some straight-up
David Copperfield shit!Copy !req
652. Damn you, Nicky!Copy !req
653. There ain't no Super Devil Juice
in here!Copy !req
654. Hail, Nicky!Copy !req
655. We are forever your slaves!Copy !req
656. - So your father's the Devil.
- Sí, seòor.Copy !req
657. You're a talking dog from Hell.
You guys are who?Copy !req
658. A couple of big fans of Nicky
and the work his dad does.Copy !req
659. By the way, Nicky,
check this out.Copy !req
660. What's Ozzy trying to say there?Copy !req
661. John, absolutely nothing.Copy !req
662. The Blizzard always
came straight with his messages.Copy !req
663. But wrap your minds around this,
gentlemen.Copy !req
664. Chicago.Copy !req
665. I love this song.Copy !req
666. I command you
in the name of Lucifer...Copy !req
667. to spread the blood
of the innocent.Copy !req
668. Oh, my God, Chicago kicks ass!Copy !req
669. That was awesome.Copy !req
670. You know, guys,
this cake tastes a little funny.Copy !req
671. I dumped a fat sack of reefer
in the mix.Copy !req
672. Thought I'd spice up the bash.Copy !req
673. - Really?
- What's reefer?Copy !req
674. About five hundred bucks
an ounce.Copy !req
675. Come on, Nicky, one more time.Copy !req
676. I can't. It's starting to hurt.Copy !req
677. Come on, you totally got to!Copy !req
678. All right, all right. Last time.Copy !req
679. Here he goes!Copy !req
680. That's insane!Copy !req
681. How do you do that?Copy !req
682. I used to get messed up
like this...Copy !req
683. with my first girlfriend
Heather.Copy !req
684. We'd get so loopy,
she would forget I was a dog.Copy !req
685. - She was a human?
- No. A sewer rat.Copy !req
686. Man, that pissed my parents off.Copy !req
687. You know, I was in love once...Copy !req
688. but she said I wasn't
financially reliable...Copy !req
689. and she needed that.Copy !req
690. By "she," do you mean "he"?Copy !req
691. - No.
- Busted!Copy !req
692. Please.Copy !req
693. How you feeling over there,
Satan Abdul-Jabbar?Copy !req
694. A little strange.Copy !req
695. I can't stop thinking
about this girl Valerie.Copy !req
696. Why? Did she hurt you?Copy !req
697. Do you need to cry
on my shoulder?Copy !req
698. Easy, Liberace.Copy !req
699. Would you grow up?Copy !req
700. Liberace.Copy !req
701. I was having the best day
with her...Copy !req
702. until Adrian made me tell her
she had a heart-shaped heinie.Copy !req
703. Maybe you love her.
But what do I know?Copy !req
704. I can't even see straight.Copy !req
705. Me, too! We got to get going.Copy !req
706. You guys can crash here.
I have an extra futon.Copy !req
707. That's a big pass, Elton John.Copy !req
708. Ozzy starts in 30 minutes.
That'll cheer you up, Nicky.Copy !req
709. Yeah, let's roll.Copy !req
710. I can't give the Ozz man
the full focus he deserves.Copy !req
711. Sorry, fellas.Copy !req
712. This chick must be
the real deal, then.Copy !req
713. - Later, bro.
- Good-bye, John.Copy !req
714. - Good luck, Nicky.
- Okay, Pete.Copy !req
715. You better snap out
of it soon, kid...Copy !req
716. because we're going
after Adrian tomorrow...Copy !req
717. bright and early.
Night-night.Copy !req
718. Yeah, I know.
Get some sleep thing, Mr. Beefy.Copy !req
719. That is the most horrifying
thing I have ever seen.Copy !req
720. Go to her.Copy !req
721. All right.Copy !req
722. I smell coconuts.Copy !req
723. Coconuts.Copy !req
724. That dude looks like a lady.Copy !req
725. You want to come in?Copy !req
726. Actually, I'm looking
for a girl named Valerie.Copy !req
727. Valerie Veran?
Two floors up, one window over.Copy !req
728. Thanks much.Copy !req
729. Good luck
with the nipple rubbing.Copy !req
730. I don't need luck. I'm good.Copy !req
731. I can see that.Copy !req
732. Oh, my God!
Nicky, is that you?Copy !req
733. Stay right there.Copy !req
734. I will.Copy !req
735. What were you thinking
coming here?Copy !req
736. I don't know, but it didn't
involve going blind.Copy !req
737. Oh, my God! Nicky!Copy !req
738. Please don't die!Copy !req
739. What are you doing?Copy !req
740. I think I'm floating.Copy !req
741. Why would you be floating?Copy !req
742. Maybe it was because
of this cake I ate earlier.Copy !req
743. Am I supposed to not be
freaked out right now?Copy !req
744. Because I am.Copy !req
745. I'm freaked out, too.Copy !req
746. The butterflies in my stomach
are flapping around...Copy !req
747. in a way I've never felt before.Copy !req
748. You got the wrong window again,
man.Copy !req
749. Oh, sorry, Nipples. Valerie!Copy !req
750. - Nicky, over here.
- I'm coming.Copy !req
751. Oh, my God, you made it.Copy !req
752. Valerie, I can see again,
and you look beautiful.Copy !req
753. Just because you're floating...Copy !req
754. doesn't mean I'm going to forget
you giving me the finger.Copy !req
755. That wasn't me.Copy !req
756. I was being possessed
by my brother Adrian.Copy !req
757. What do you mean, possessed?Copy !req
758. Remember when I told you
that my father was in Hell?Copy !req
759. That's because he's the Devil...Copy !req
760. and he wants to keep his throne
for another 10,000 years.Copy !req
761. And that pissed off
my brothers...Copy !req
762. so they broke
the gates of Hell...Copy !req
763. which is making my father
decompose.Copy !req
764. I love my father very much,
so I came to Earth to save him.Copy !req
765. Now I get that Deep South joke.Copy !req
766. I don't know
if I should believe you.Copy !req
767. You got to believe.
Believe in the butterflies.Copy !req
768. Wait. Okay. Okay, okay, I believe.Copy !req
769. Come on. Come back up.Copy !req
770. Take my hand, Valerie.Copy !req
771. Fly with me.
I can give you the power.Copy !req
772. That's
the Empire State Building.Copy !req
773. There's Popeye's chicken--
right there.Copy !req
774. The Hell Beast is above us...Copy !req
775. and I can smell an evil slut.Copy !req
776. Whoa, Devil!Copy !req
777. Did you do that?Copy !req
778. Nobody calls my girl
an evil slut.Copy !req
779. Good morning, New York.Copy !req
780. This is an "Action News"
special report.Copy !req
781. A shocking crime...Copy !req
782. results in a record
fifty-million-dollar reward...Copy !req
783. for the capture of this man.Copy !req
784. His name is unknown...Copy !req
785. but his actions have earned him
the label "The Monster."Copy !req
786. He should be considered armed
and extremely dangerous.Copy !req
787. The man who caused
such a sensation...Copy !req
788. at the game yesterday
is no hero.Copy !req
789. He is, in fact, a mass murderer.Copy !req
790. - This is real bad.
- Where the heck is Nicky?Copy !req
791. I have authorized a reward...Copy !req
792. to the person
who brings this man to me.Copy !req
793. It's a setup.Copy !req
794. Good morning, young lady.Copy !req
795. That looks like it tastes great.Copy !req
796. Look at that.Copy !req
797. Mr. Beefy would like you.Copy !req
798. Oh, look.Copy !req
799. There he is!Copy !req
800. Wait. Wait.Copy !req
801. What is happening?Copy !req
802. There he is!Copy !req
803. I'm not a monster.Copy !req
804. Release the evil.Copy !req
805. Beefy, I think I'm in trouble.Copy !req
806. The shit has hit the fan, kid.Copy !req
807. Take a look.Copy !req
808. This videotape
will show what he did...Copy !req
809. after he left the game.Copy !req
810. Say hello to my little friend.Copy !req
811. My name is Nicky...Copy !req
812. and I'm going to kill all
you suckers for no reason.Copy !req
813. That's not me! That's
that cockroach Tony Montana!Copy !req
814. - Difficult to watch, I know.
- This is Adrian's work.Copy !req
815. He superimposed your head
onto "Scarface."Copy !req
816. Which is probably DePalma's
third best film.Copy !req
817. I'm not Nicky.Copy !req
818. Dude, it's us. Let us in.Copy !req
819. - John! Pete!
- Nicky!Copy !req
820. There's a total mob scene
coming this way.Copy !req
821. It looks like they're following
a giant trail of bug shit.Copy !req
822. What do we do now, Beefy?Copy !req
823. I don't know. This is
a little out of my league.Copy !req
824. - What would your dad do, Nicky?
- That's a great idea!Copy !req
825. I'll ask him. Kill me.Copy !req
826. Are you serious?Copy !req
827. Yes. We'll meet
at Grand Central Station, noon.Copy !req
828. Now I command you--do me.Copy !req
829. All right!Copy !req
830. That just hurt a lot.Copy !req
831. Still alive, though.Copy !req
832. I've always wanted
to kill someone.Copy !req
833. Can I give it a try?Copy !req
834. Damn you, Kevin Spacey!Copy !req
835. You take all my parts!Copy !req
836. Hey, you lose--royal flush.Copy !req
837. Off with the brassiere.Copy !req
838. The last time I saw
a pair of jugs that big...Copy !req
839. two hillbillies
were blowing on them.Copy !req
840. Oh, my God, Dad.Copy !req
841. Nicky, I got no legs.Copy !req
842. I got no hips.Copy !req
843. I got one ear.Copy !req
844. I got no ears.Copy !req
845. Now he has no ears.
Are you happy, Nicky?Copy !req
846. Adrian's got the whole city
following me.Copy !req
847. I can't hear you, Nicky!Copy !req
848. Check one, two. Check one, two.Copy !req
849. Put it back on my head!Copy !req
850. You got until midnight tonight.Copy !req
851. Get your ass back up there,
and save your father. Go!Copy !req
852. - I'm going to save you, Dad.
- Go, go, go!Copy !req
853. - I'm going to save you!
- Go, then! Move it!Copy !req
854. Go, Nicky, go!Copy !req
855. Sure you're down with this?Copy !req
856. A little nervous. Want to puke.Copy !req
857. Hey, hey, fuzz.
We know where to find Nicky.Copy !req
858. - Let's go.
- Get in.Copy !req
859. What's up, Police Chief?Copy !req
860. - You have what I want.
- You got what we want?Copy !req
861. Fifty million bones, bro.Copy !req
862. - Here's the money.
- Whoa, my God!Copy !req
863. That's half of it. You get
the rest when I get Nicky.Copy !req
864. Thanks much.Copy !req
865. I got to warn you, man.
He's kind of not human.Copy !req
866. - Really?
- He might be the son of Satan.Copy !req
867. I guess I'll have to be
extra careful, then, aren't I?Copy !req
868. Now, where is he?Copy !req
869. Hey, come on, that was cool!Copy !req
870. Do it again!Copy !req
871. Out of the way!Copy !req
872. Where is he? He's late.Copy !req
873. He'll be here.
Just keep your skirt on.Copy !req
874. That's where he comes out of.Copy !req
875. Over there!Copy !req
876. We've been ratted out.Copy !req
877. We thought the son of Satan
would understand such a move.Copy !req
878. - Get these two out of here.
- All right, this way.Copy !req
879. What is this?
A bulldog and his gay lover?Copy !req
880. Oh, shut up.Copy !req
881. It's true. It's true.Copy !req
882. Judas.Copy !req
883. Judas Priest, maybe.Copy !req
884. I'm only an actor.
I don't know what's happening.Copy !req
885. Take him to the holding area.
Seal off all the exits.Copy !req
886. I'm only an actor!Copy !req
887. You want to see something cool?Copy !req
888. Definitely.Copy !req
889. Pick me a winner.Copy !req
890. Oh, sick!Copy !req
891. Oh, my God, that was awesome!Copy !req
892. So, what time's
my brother expected back?Copy !req
893. Noon. Ish.Copy !req
894. Even though you're
not really the chief...Copy !req
895. we still get the rest
of the cash, right, bro?Copy !req
896. You know what you'll get, boys?Copy !req
897. An indescribably
horrific torture...Copy !req
898. administered by demons
for the rest of eternity.Copy !req
899. And we get to keep the cash,
too, right?Copy !req
900. Sure.Copy !req
901. Why not?Copy !req
902. You're hurting me.Copy !req
903. Shut up.Copy !req
904. Applesauce every time.Copy !req
905. Hey, boys!Copy !req
906. You want a blizzard
with my flip-flop?Copy !req
907. No, thanks, but we'll take
that bottle of booze.Copy !req
908. Beat it, you freak.
Get out of here.Copy !req
909. I'll be back with my flip-flop!Copy !req
910. Schnapps.Copy !req
911. Peppermint?Copy !req
912. All right!Copy !req
913. Want a hit?Copy !req
914. Drink up.
Here's to fifty million clams.Copy !req
915. To the defilement of Earth
and corruption of its people.Copy !req
916. Okay, whatever.
Just drink it.Copy !req
917. Cheers.Copy !req
918. It's awfully hot down here.Copy !req
919. How do you manage
to stay so cool?Copy !req
920. Beer lowers
the body temperature.Copy !req
921. I read that in a beer magazine.Copy !req
922. This liquid
will probably quench my thirst.Copy !req
923. - Cool me off.
- Definitely.Copy !req
924. Give you a pretty good buzz.Copy !req
925. Or maybe it will trap me inside
for all of eternity.Copy !req
926. No, it won't?Copy !req
927. Oh, Nicky.
I've missed you.Copy !req
928. Come out and say hello!Copy !req
929. I'm not Nicky.Copy !req
930. I'm calling you out, brother!Copy !req
931. Adrian, this is very painful.Copy !req
932. - There you are.
- I told you he was sick.Copy !req
933. Oh, hello, Cassius.Copy !req
934. All right, Adrian! Let me out!Copy !req
935. New Hell really only needs
one new Satan.Copy !req
936. You motherfu--Copy !req
937. But Cassius could use
some company for eternity.Copy !req
938. So get in the flask.Copy !req
939. Kick his ass, Nicky.Copy !req
940. Sleep.Copy !req
941. You got it.Copy !req
942. Hey, hold up.
Someone's got to take a pee.Copy !req
943. That dog's got smoke balls!Copy !req
944. Run, Beefy! Run!Copy !req
945. You can't make me drink, Adrian.Copy !req
946. Of course I can.Copy !req
947. Oh, it's Nicky's
little ragamuffin.Copy !req
948. Drink or she dies.Copy !req
949. Unlike you, she won't come back
from where she's going.Copy !req
950. Let go of her!
This is between you and me!Copy !req
951. I hear a train a-coming!Copy !req
952. Adrian, stop!Copy !req
953. - Drink!
- All right! Don't hurt her!Copy !req
954. Don't do it, Nicky!Copy !req
955. I have to, Valerie.Copy !req
956. Now, that hurt the both of us.Copy !req
957. See you in Hell!Copy !req
958. Hey, look at the bright side.
You can go for a swim.Copy !req
959. You can play the harmonica,
and you can choke someone.Copy !req
960. Take me to my room.
I want to be alone!Copy !req
961. In your weakened condition,
if you vacate the throne...Copy !req
962. any of your sons can claim
the seat of power for their own.Copy !req
963. Horseshit.Copy !req
964. Hey, good news.
Adrian's back.Copy !req
965. I'm going to be all right?Copy !req
966. Where's Nicky?Copy !req
967. He came with you and Cassius,
right?Copy !req
968. I came through that gate alone.Copy !req
969. Sorry, sir. False alarm.Copy !req
970. Would everyone stop
playing with me...Copy !req
971. and tell me
what my brother's up to?Copy !req
972. What is this?Copy !req
973. Is it Dad's birthday?Copy !req
974. There he is.Copy !req
975. Hi! I can't believe you're here!Copy !req
976. Welcome.Copy !req
977. Up with the sign.Copy !req
978. Can I just tell you
I am so excited right now?Copy !req
979. - So excited!
- She really is.Copy !req
980. If you could point me
to the Black Palace...Copy !req
981. I really got to check in
with my dad.Copy !req
982. Can I ask you something?Copy !req
983. What do you know about your mom?Copy !req
984. My mom.Copy !req
985. My brothers tell me
that she was a mountain goat...Copy !req
986. which would explain
my chronic halitosis.Copy !req
987. A mountain goat?
That's really sweet.Copy !req
988. Jenna, chair.Copy !req
989. Thanks.Copy !req
990. My mother wasn't a goat?Copy !req
991. Try an angel.Copy !req
992. An angel?Copy !req
993. I'm your mom.Copy !req
994. If you're my mom,
then how come you're not older?Copy !req
995. Angels don't get any older, son.Copy !req
996. I can't believe
you just called him "son."Copy !req
997. This is so wild!Copy !req
998. Jenna, Christa.
Time for your mambo lesson.Copy !req
999. Chubbs, I'm so sorry.
I totally spaced.Copy !req
1000. I have company.
This is my son Nicky.Copy !req
1001. Chubbs used to be a golf pro...Copy !req
1002. but up here he's just
the dopest dance instructor.Copy !req
1003. Ah, that's nice.Copy !req
1004. You mambo?Copy !req
1005. I don't think so.Copy !req
1006. It's all in the hips.Copy !req
1007. - Bye, Chubbs.
- All in the hips, yeah!Copy !req
1008. Nobody in this room
will tell you a thing, Adrian.Copy !req
1009. Right!Copy !req
1010. Hey, let him go!Copy !req
1011. Perhaps a titty-twister
will loosen your lips.Copy !req
1012. I'm getting turned on.Copy !req
1013. All I know is that if you
sit on that throne...Copy !req
1014. in your father's
weakened condition--Copy !req
1015. Tit-head, no!Copy !req
1016. You can claim the seat of power
for your own.Copy !req
1017. Really?Copy !req
1018. As the founder of Hell...Copy !req
1019. I command you
to stay off that throne!Copy !req
1020. Even in Hell I get no respect.Copy !req
1021. Put me down!Copy !req
1022. So where did you meet Dad?Copy !req
1023. It was a long time ago
at this Heaven-Hell mixer.Copy !req
1024. I remember that night.
You had, like, four daiquiris.Copy !req
1025. At first
I didn't really like him.Copy !req
1026. - He was really conceited.
- But he was funny.Copy !req
1027. And I hate to admit it,
but he had a really hot body.Copy !req
1028. Puppy phone.Copy !req
1029. It's so cute.Copy !req
1030. Hi, Michelle.
Yeah, he's here right now.Copy !req
1031. I don't know if he's hot.
He's my son, you perv.Copy !req
1032. Can I call you back?Copy !req
1033. That was my friend Michelle.
She says hi.Copy !req
1034. Say hi back.Copy !req
1035. I'll just call her later.Copy !req
1036. We totally saw you
save your girlfriend's life.Copy !req
1037. That was so cool.Copy !req
1038. That's why you came to Heaven
instead of Hell.Copy !req
1039. Self-sacrifice
automatically gets you here.Copy !req
1040. How did you see me?Copy !req
1041. We can see anything
that's going on on Earth. Look.Copy !req
1042. Someone else is taking
the internship.Copy !req
1043. That's "Felicity."
I love that show. Do you watch?Copy !req
1044. I haven't seen it,
but I hear good things.Copy !req
1045. This is an "Action News"
special report.Copy !req
1046. Moments ago, a large chunk
of what appears to be Hell...Copy !req
1047. began to rise
from beneath Central Park.Copy !req
1048. Far from being terrified...Copy !req
1049. many New Yorkers have begun
flocking to the site...Copy !req
1050. turning it into an unofficial
party central.Copy !req
1051. And this just in...Copy !req
1052. I'm cheating on my husband
with the weatherman.Copy !req
1053. Show him Central Park.Copy !req
1054. I love your legs.Copy !req
1055. That's my father's throne!Copy !req
1056. - Is Dad okay?
- Let's see.Copy !req
1057. I was a good Devil, wasn't I?Copy !req
1058. You were the best Devil, sir!Copy !req
1059. If we fall in there,
we will die. Period.Copy !req
1060. My underwear is so far up my ass
I could taste it.Copy !req
1061. I hear that.Copy !req
1062. Welcome to the party!Copy !req
1063. It's so nice
to see you all here.Copy !req
1064. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
1065. You've taken to sin
with such minimal prompting.Copy !req
1066. You're acting as if
there is no Heaven or Hell.Copy !req
1067. Well, I've got news for you.Copy !req
1068. There is most definitely a Hell.Copy !req
1069. What?Copy !req
1070. And you're all
going there when you die.Copy !req
1071. Which is in about
fifteen minutes.Copy !req
1072. Holy shit,
we really are going to die!Copy !req
1073. I'm really burning now!Copy !req
1074. What are we going to do?Copy !req
1075. I got to help her.Copy !req
1076. I got to help Dad.Copy !req
1077. I got to help everybody.Copy !req
1078. At the stroke of midnight...Copy !req
1079. my father will be
completely deteriorated...Copy !req
1080. and all your souls will be mine.Copy !req
1081. Soon you will see things...Copy !req
1082. more horrible
than you can even imagine.Copy !req
1083. Well, maybe not that horrible,
but still pretty bad.Copy !req
1084. So, while we wait...Copy !req
1085. for your enjoyment...Copy !req
1086. I bring you a dear, sweet man--Copy !req
1087. Mr. Henry Winkler.Copy !req
1088. Good evening.Copy !req
1089. Covered in bees!Copy !req
1090. How can I win?Copy !req
1091. Adrian is stronger
and smarter than me.Copy !req
1092. Stronger, yes.Copy !req
1093. Smarter, definitely.Copy !req
1094. But you have something
that he doesn't have.Copy !req
1095. A speech impediment?Copy !req
1096. The inner light, honey.Copy !req
1097. And you can totally use it.Copy !req
1098. - It's the best power of all.
- I do?Copy !req
1099. And God told me if you
get in really bad trouble...Copy !req
1100. you can use this.Copy !req
1101. What is it?Copy !req
1102. I'm not totally
a hundred percent on that...Copy !req
1103. but God said when the time came,
you'd know what to do with it.Copy !req
1104. God's so smart.Copy !req
1105. Like "Jeopardy!" smart.Copy !req
1106. My little boy.Copy !req
1107. Mommy,
get me to the Big Apple...Copy !req
1108. because I'm going to
rock that town like a hurricane.Copy !req
1109. You're already there.Copy !req
1110. Bye, Nicky.Copy !req
1111. Bye, Mom.Copy !req
1112. Bye, guys.Copy !req
1113. Release the good.Copy !req
1114. Yes, they're furry.Copy !req
1115. Bunny, bunny, bunny!Copy !req
1116. Release the awesome.Copy !req
1117. What you do is put it
in your mouth...Copy !req
1118. and let the meat slide down
your throat hole.Copy !req
1119. Not you, not you!Copy !req
1120. Popeye's chicken
is the shizzney!Copy !req
1121. You know, from this angle,
you're kind of cute.Copy !req
1122. You think so?Copy !req
1123. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1124. He just opened his mouth
and swallowed that spit.Copy !req
1125. That turn you on there, RuPaul?Copy !req
1126. Excuse me. Pardon me.Copy !req
1127. Little Nicky.Copy !req
1128. I knew you would make it!Copy !req
1129. Adrian, I'm asking you nicely.Copy !req
1130. Let my friends alone...Copy !req
1131. and get in the flask.Copy !req
1132. Is this a joke?Copy !req
1133. No, it's the inner light...Copy !req
1134. and with it,
we can defeat whatever you got.Copy !req
1135. It's true!Copy !req
1136. It's not true!Copy !req
1137. Run, traitors, run!Copy !req
1138. Okay, Adrian.Copy !req
1139. You've left me no choice.Copy !req
1140. Leave this to me.Copy !req
1141. Let's see what you've got.Copy !req
1142. Enough!Copy !req
1143. I'm going to kill you
with my bare hands.Copy !req
1144. I'm ready for you.Copy !req
1145. I guess I wasn't ready.Copy !req
1146. - I totally had to do that.
- Hell, yeah!Copy !req
1147. - Good job!
- That's great!Copy !req
1148. Thanks, Mom !Copy !req
1149. I'm going to ask you nicely.Copy !req
1150. Get in the fla--Copy !req
1151. You want a pillow fight, do you?Copy !req
1152. Let's let the feathers fly.Copy !req
1153. Come on, now.Copy !req
1154. Come on.Copy !req
1155. I'm right here.
Where am I going with it, baby?Copy !req
1156. Here I am.Copy !req
1157. I'm sleeping.Copy !req
1158. Or am I?Copy !req
1159. Thanks, Mr. Winkler.Copy !req
1160. I'm asking you one last time.Copy !req
1161. Get in the flask.Copy !req
1162. A little help here, please.Copy !req
1163. Please!Copy !req
1164. Don't do this! No!Copy !req
1165. Good-bye, Nicky.Copy !req
1166. Nice to see you, brothers.Copy !req
1167. Now I'm going to bust
both of your heads wide open!Copy !req
1168. - Come on!
- Get 'em, Nicky!Copy !req
1169. Come on, Nicky!Copy !req
1170. You can do it, Nicky!
Kick him in his hairy balls!Copy !req
1171. Good idea.Copy !req
1172. One down, one to go, Adrian.Copy !req
1173. You've asked for this.
Time for the shovel!Copy !req
1174. Bring it on!Copy !req
1175. - Kill him, Adrian!
- Shut up!Copy !req
1176. - Get him, Nicky!
- Let go of me!Copy !req
1177. How did a nice Southern boy
learn to fight like that?Copy !req
1178. I guess from my father's side
of the family.Copy !req
1179. What? No tongue?Copy !req
1180. Catch me if you can!Copy !req
1181. That is wicked!Copy !req
1182. Not long now!Copy !req
1183. You got to fly out.Copy !req
1184. Soon it will all be mine!Copy !req
1185. Nicky! I know you can do it.Copy !req
1186. Run, run!Copy !req
1187. Do it for the butterflies.Copy !req
1188. Butterflies?Copy !req
1189. The power of good
lets you fly out.Copy !req
1190. Well, you're too late, Nicky!Copy !req
1191. Behold your new Satan!Copy !req
1192. What's that?
What's with the ball?Copy !req
1193. - Ozzy?
- Holy shit.Copy !req
1194. No, no, no!Copy !req
1195. You can do it, Ozzy!Copy !req
1196. Bite his fricking head off!Copy !req
1197. Spit him in the flask!Copy !req
1198. Here you go, Ozzy.Copy !req
1199. - Grand Central, Nicky!
- Start running.Copy !req
1200. - You'll never make it.
- You've got to die.Copy !req
1201. I'll just go to Heaven.Copy !req
1202. Not if you do something bad
right before you die.Copy !req
1203. You're right.Copy !req
1204. Hey, Nicky!
Cover Winkler in bees!Copy !req
1205. You can do it!Copy !req
1206. Sorry, Henry.Copy !req
1207. - Do me!
- With what?Copy !req
1208. I don't know.Copy !req
1209. Here. Kill him with this.Copy !req
1210. I'll never forget you, guys.Copy !req
1211. And we will never forget you,
my friend.Copy !req
1212. I love you.Copy !req
1213. And I love you, Nicky.Copy !req
1214. I got them, Dad! I did it!Copy !req
1215. Unholiness, you're back!Copy !req
1216. You look great!Copy !req
1217. It's all in the hipsCopy !req
1218. It's in the hipsCopy !req
1219. You're all right!Copy !req
1220. You came through, Nicky.Copy !req
1221. I came through for you, Dad...Copy !req
1222. and I came through
for Mom and the butterflies.Copy !req
1223. You're back in Hell now, kid.Copy !req
1224. There are no butterflies here.Copy !req
1225. If you want butterflies,
you need to be on Earth.Copy !req
1226. What about you and Grandpa
and everybody in Hell?Copy !req
1227. I let my butterflies die
once upon a time...Copy !req
1228. and it's never stopped hurting.Copy !req
1229. That's right!Copy !req
1230. You heard me, Holly.Copy !req
1231. What?Copy !req
1232. I'm still in love with you!Copy !req
1233. Oh, my God,
he's talking about me.Copy !req
1234. And don't think I forgot
about how crazy you get...Copy !req
1235. after a few daiquiris.Copy !req
1236. That guy is still
the biggest horndog.Copy !req
1237. Yeah, he is.Copy !req
1238. Listen, I got down low.Copy !req
1239. Your mom's got up high.Copy !req
1240. You take care of the middle.Copy !req
1241. Okay, Dad.Copy !req
1242. But, in the words
of Motley Crue...Copy !req
1243. this will always be
my home sweet home.Copy !req
1244. Don't be afraid
to show your face.Copy !req
1245. You're such a handsome boy.Copy !req
1246. I hate to interrupt...Copy !req
1247. but it's time
for Hitler's punishment.Copy !req
1248. - I'll take that.
- Maybe they'll let us out.Copy !req
1249. Grandpa!Copy !req
1250. Okay, kids.Copy !req
1251. Enjoy your new home!Copy !req
1252. Holy shnit!Copy !req
1253. Such a little angel.Copy !req
1254. Only a quarter, ma'am.Copy !req
1255. Tickle, tickle, tickle.Copy !req
1256. Sorry.Copy !req