Lightyear (2022)

1. Buzz Light year mission log, stardate 3901.

2. Sensors have detected potential life forms

3. on an uncharted planet.

4. So, we're making a detour to investigate.

5. Space rangers will make initial evaluation,

6. then assess whether it's worth waking the science crew

7. from their hyper sleep.

8. While the ERIC takes core samples,

9. I will explore further the oddities

10. of this strange planet.

11. Terrain seems a bit unstable.

12. No readout yet if the air is breathable.

13. There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.

14. - Who are you talking to? - Uh, no one.

15. You were narrating again.

16. I was not. Just doing the mission log.

17. You do know no one ever listens to those.

18. I know that. Narrating helps me focus.

19. - Stay sharp. —Yeah.

20. Well, if it bothers you, Commander Hawthorne,

21. I'm happy to wait back on the turnip.

22. Please don't call it the turnip.

23. But the ship looks like a root vegetable.

24. Yes. You made that very clear at the design review.

25. How long have you known that I narrate?

26. Forever. Since you and I were cadets.

27. Speaking of, you forgot to take the rookie with you.

28. Ugh, Commander Hawthorne,

29. you know how I feel about rookies.

30. The same way I feel about autopilots.

31. (MOCKINGLY) "How may I assist you?

32. "Is there anything I can do, sir?"

33. They don't help. They just overcomplicate things.

34. I'm better off just doing the job myself.

35. Which is why I brought the rookie.

36. Uh, hello.

37. No.

38. Buzz, protocol requires we bring him along.

39. - He's gonna have sad eyes. Buzz.

40. You know I can't deal with sad eyes.

41. Look at the rookie, Buzz.

42. - Nope. - Look at the... Look...

43. - No... No. No. Light year.

44. - Look at him. - Not looking.

45. Look. - No.

46. - Look, look, look. - No, no, no.

47. - Look at the rookie. - (SIGHS HEAVILY)

48. All right. All right! You Win.

49. Look, Feather... Featherings... Feather.

50. It's Featheringhamstan, sir.

51. Look, rookie. First, you will not speak unless spoken to.

52. - Yes, sir. - Still talking.

53. Second, respect the suit.

54. This suit means something.

55. It's not just protecting your body.

56. - It's protecting the universe. - (HEROIC MUSIC PLAYING)

57. This suit is a promise to the world

58. that you and you alone will do one thing above all.

59. Finish the mission, no matter the cost.

60. - (MUSIC CRESCENDOING) - You will never quit,

61. whatever the galaxy may throw your way.

62. Will you please turn that off!

63. - (CLICK, MUSIC STOPS) - (ALISHA LAUGHS)

64. It's just too easy.

65. You're mocking me, aren't you?

66. Yeah, but in a supportive way.

67. Look, what I'm trying to say, Commander,

68. is that you and I have this job down.

69. —Uh, sir. - Still talking.

70. At any moment I know what you're thinking,

71. - I know where you're gonna be. - (GRUNTING)

72. - (YELLS) - But this guy, I don't know.

73. Where'd he go?

74. Ugh! You see, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

75. He's not helping. He's wandered off.

76. Vines!

77. - Bugs! - (EXCLAIMS)

78. The ship. It's sinking.

79. Everyone, back to the turnip!

80. Oh, so now it's the turnip.

81. Engage stealth mode. It should buy us enough time.

82. We're not gonna make it. Almost there!

83. - Okay, plan B. Ready? - Go!

84. - Blast! - Here. I can reroute it.

85. Just gimme a minute.

86. Where is the...

87. Help!

88. (gem) Rookie.

89. Help me! (SCREAMS)

90. Buzz Light year mission log. Planet clearly uninhabitable.

91. - In fact, outright hostile. - Whoa! (SCREAMS)

92. Sentient foliage have apprehended Cadet Furth—Feathering...

93. Featheringston... Feather...

94. Oh, they got the rookie, who I strongly suggested

95. should not have joined in the first... (GRUNTS)

96. - (WHIMPERING) - Blast.

97. - (WEAPON FIRES) - (BOTH GASP)

98. Buzz! Now!

99. Move it, ranger!

100. Making our way back to the ship.

101. Come on, Buzz!

102. - Hurry! - (FEATHERINGHAMSTAN WHIMPERS)

103. - (DOOR BEEPS) - I'll go to the engine room.

104. - I'll take the helm. - And I will...

105. Do nothing. We got this.

106. I.V.A.N.: How may I assist you?

107. Ugh! Autopilots.

108. Is there anything I can do, sir?

109. No and no! This is not a simulation.

110. Commander, status!

111. Fuel engaged. All systems go.

112. I.V.A.N.: Warning- Launch trajectory unsound.

113. Come on. Come on. (GRUNTS)

114. I.V.A. N.: Collision imminent.

115. Abort. Abort.

116. —Abort... - (RAPID BEEPING)

117. Captain Light year, do you need my help?

118. - Negative. - Are you sure?

119. I'm Buzz Light year. I'm always sure.

120. - (ENGINE WHINING) - (ALARM WAILING)

121. - (SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING) - (SOFT CRACKLING)

122. (SIGHS) It's bad, Buzz.

123. Our hyper-speed crystal was totally destroyed.

124. Long story short, we're marooned.

125. I don't know.

126. What are you doing?

127. I'm court-martialling myself.

128. No, you're not.

129. Commander Hawthorne,

130. I hereby relieve myself of all space ranger duties.

131. This was my fault, and these people deserve better.

132. You can throw me in the brig.

133. Finish the mission, Buzz.

134. That's what we do.

135. We're not done until everyone gets home.

136. But we have no fuel crystal.

137. So we mine the resources on this planet. Create a new crystal.

138. Crystallic fusion is highly unstable.

139. - Then we test it. - No. It's too dangerous.

140. Manufacturing a crystal capable of hyper speed

141. is like... like trying to lasso the sun.

142. And then someone would need to attach that sun to a ship,

143. and then that ship needs someone to fly it Without blowing themselves into oblivion.

144. Who in their right mind would...

145. Oh!

146. Buzz Light year mission log, stardate 3902.

147. After a full year of being marooned,

148. our specialised crew have put this planet's vast resources

149. to incredible use.

150. Finally, our first hyper-speed test flight is a go.

151. - Ready, Captain Light year? - (CHUCKLES)

152. Ready as I'll ever be, Commander Hawthorne.

153. To infinity.

154. And beyond. - (ALISHA MIMICS EXPLOSION)

155. - Buzz! - We got a breach in the perimeter.

156. Come on, I just...

157. Captain Light year!

158. - Airman Diaz. Boy, (CHUCKLES)

159. The vines are a little feisty today, huh?

160. Are we ready to launch?

161. We're all ready if you are, sir.

162. A year of work for a four-minute flight.

163. - Isn't that something? - Ha. Sure is.

164. Well, let's go find out if this new hyper-speed fuel is stable,

165. so I can get us off this rock.

166. Ooh, almost forgot. Here's your I.V.A.N., sir.

167. - Fully loaded. Ugh.

168. Autopilots.

169. And here, of course, is the XL-01.

170. Pretty sweet ride.

171. (CLEARS THROAT) Now let's get you that fuel crystal.

172. Good morning, Captain Light year.

173. Here is your specially formulated fuel mixture.

174. So this is the fuel that's gonna reach hyper speed?

175. It has an 87.6% chance.

176. I'll take those odds.

177. Good luck, Captain. (GRUNTS)

178. We're all counting on you...

179. Airman.

180. XL—01 to mission control. Do you copy?

181. Copy, XL-m.

182. I'm gonna grant you four minutes to be off-planet,

183. but then you come right back to us.

184. - (BUTTONS BEEP) - That's an order.

185. Roger that.

186. Hyper speed, here I come.

187. T minus ten,

188. nine,

189. eight, seven,

190. six,

191. five, four,

192. three, two,

193. one. Launch.

194. - (SPACESHIP RATTLES) - (ENGINE SLOWING)

195. I.V.A.N., pull up the flight plan, please.

196. I.V.A.N.: (GARBLED) Hello. I am your... (INDISTINCT)

197. Ugh, autopilots.

198. I.V.A.N.: (CLEARLY) Hello,

199. I am your Internal Voice-Activated Navigator.

200. Call me I.V.A.N.

201. Ready the flight plan, please, I.V.A.N.

202. I.V.A.N.: Certainly.

203. Your mission is to accelerate through deep space,

204. slingshot around Alpha T'kani,

205. then through the deceleration rings

206. back here to T'kani Prime.

207. Target flight time, 4 minutes, 28 seconds.

208. XL-01, you are clear for hyper launch.

209. Copy, Control. Initiating hyper launch.

210. I.V.A.N.: Approaching 50% hyper speed.

211. Fuel stable.

212. Increasing speed to 0.60.

213. I.V.A.N.: 60% hyper speed.

214. Increasing speed to 0.70.

215. I.V.A.N.: 70% hyper speed.

216. Fuel stable.

217. (STRAINED) Approaching 0.80.

218. Pushing to hyper speed.

219. I.V.A.N.: Failure in engine one.

220. - Fuel cell unstable. - I.V.A.N., status.

221. I.V.A. N.: Trajectory error, plus four degrees.

222. Failure to course correct will result in missing the rings.

223. We'll fly off into deep space,

224. resulting in certain death.

225. Yes, thank you.

226. I.V.A.N.: Ejection is your only option.

227. - (ALARM BEEPING) - No, no. I can do it.

228. I.V.A.N.: Warning. You have 26 seconds to course correct.

229. You now have 25 seconds to course correct.

230. —You now have... - Stop counting, please.

231. I.V.A.N.: I'm sorry. My safety protocols prohibit me from terminating countdown.

232. Ugh, autopilots.

233. I.V.A.N.: Mission failure imminent, please record your last words.

234. - (I.V.A.N. BEEPS) - Not today, I. \/.A.N.

235. (ON RECORDING) Not today, I. \/.A.N.

236. I. V. A. N: If you are satisfied with this recording,

237. speak or select one.

238. I.V.A.N., push the engines all the way. Maximum power.

239. I.V.A.N.: That action is inadvisable- Fuel cell detonation.

240. Is exactly what I'm counting on.

241. - I.V.A. N.: Situation critical. - (ALARM WAILING)

242. Fuel cell approaching peak capacity.

243. Open the fuel door, I.V.A.N.

244. I.V.A.N.: I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that.

245. - Please restate your command. - Open fuel door!

246. I.V.A.N.: Detonation in five,

247. four, three,

248. two,

249. - one. - Now!

250. I.V.A. N.: Course corrected.

251. You failed to reach hyper speed.

252. (SIGHS) Didn't need to hear that, I. \/.A.N.

253. I.V.A. N.: You didn't hear that.

254. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll repeat.

255. No, no. I heard. - (SLOWLY) You failed to reach

256. - hyper speed. - I meant I didn't need to...

257. - Thank you, I. V.A.N. - You failed to reach...

258. - Commander, are you okay? Whoa.

259. Diaz, you... you grew a beard.

260. How did you grow a beard?

261. Oh, right. Uh...

262. First off, welcome back.

263. - Secondly... - Wait.

264. Wait, What is this?

265. How long was I gone?

266. Four years, two months, and three days.

267. What?

268. Thought we'd lost you, Buzz.

269. Alisha, what happened?

270. - Time dilation. - What?

271. Time dilation is quite simple.

272. As you approached hyper speed,

273. your time slowed relative to our own.

274. So, during your mission, you aged only minutes,

275. while the rest of us have aged years.

276. Simply put, the faster you fly...

277. The faster I fly, the further into the future I travel.

278. I get it.

279. So, what are we gonna do now?

280. I don't know.

281. But I think we should hold off on any more test flights

282. until we figure out something else.

283. Commander, we said finish the mission.

284. That's what space rangers do.

285. At what cost, Buzz?

286. Are you willing to lose another four years?

287. So, everyone's just stuck here

288. because of me.

289. - (ENGINE POWERS DOWN) - (BRAKES SQUEAK)

290. Hey. You all right?

291. Uh... Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.

292. Wait, what's that?

293. Oh. I got engaged.

294. Oh, wow. That's... That's great. What's her name?

295. Kiko. She's one of the science crew. (CHUCKLES)

296. It's funny. I never would have met her if we hadn't been stranded.

297. You got engaged to someone you just met?

298. Buzz, I met her three years ago.

299. Oh, right. Right. (CHUCKLES DRYLY)

300. Well, congratulations. I'd love to meet her.

301. Well, there's plenty of time for that. Get some rest.

302. That's an order.

303. Huh?

304. Uh...

305. - Hello, Buzz! - (SCREAMS)

306. I am Sox. Your personal companion robot.

307. - My what? - I was issued by Star Command

308. to ease your emotional transition after your time away.

309. Oh.

310. Well, that's very considerate of you, robot feline.

311. But no, thank you.

312. I'm afraid it's protocol.

313. Sensors indicate you've missed four birthdays.

314. Would you like a frosted snack cake to celebrate?

315. Negative. That would compromise

316. - my nutritional regimen. - (HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING)

317. We can talk about your feelings.

318. I am an excellent listener.

319. No, no. Look, I've had a very long... day?

320. It did not go as planned.

321. The mission was unsuccessful?

322. Affirmative.

323. Oh, no. I am so sorry to hear that.

324. Thank you, Sox.

325. You're welcome, Buzz.

326. Shall we play a game?

327. No, thank you. Are you sure?

328. I can create a game specifically for you

329. based on your exact personality profile.

330. Hey, listen. Sox, buddy, I'm pretty tired,

331. so I'm gonna go ahead and hit the rack.

332. Of course.

333. I can provide sleep sounds, if you like.

334. I have several options.

335. Summer night, ocean paradise, whale calls?

336. No, no. White noise is fine.

337. Very well.

338. - Good night, Sox. - Good night, Buzz.

339. I.V.A.N.: Pull up. Pull up.

340. Pull up. Pull up.

341. Uh, Captain Light year, do you need my help?

342. No. I can do it.

343. Buzz, are you sure?

344. I'm afraid it's protocol.

345. I can do it! (GASPING)

346. I can do it.

347. Sensors indicate you had a nightmare.

348. Would you like to talk about it?

349. Negative.

350. Okay. But remember, my mission is to help you.

351. And I'm not giving up on my mission.

352. Yeah?

353. Yeah.

354. You know what, Sox?

355. I'm not giving up on my mission either.

356. Great! So, what can I do?

357. Well, why don't you engage with your, um... your mouse buddy?

358. Is there anything more challenging?

359. You want a challenge? Okay.

360. I guess you could work on this fuel stability thing.

361. Crystallic fusion. Of course.

362. When should I expect you back?

363. About four years.

364. Hold on. You don't have to do this.

365. Commander, this is my mistake.

366. I need to make it right.

367. Okay. But maybe we should think about this.

368. Think about What? Come on, we're space rangers.

369. We finish the mission.

370. Well, it would be nice to wear the suit again.

371. People are starting to forget space rangers ever mattered.

372. Well, I'm about to fix that.

373. To infinity.

374. And beyond.

375. - (CAR HORN BLARES) - (TYRES SCREECH)

376. Hi, Buzz.

377. (INHALES SHARPLY) You'll be back here in a year or two,

378. and, we", I won't.

379. I don't know when it happened,

380. but I seem to have gone and gotten very old. (CHUCKLES)

381. I always thought we'd get to be space rangers again.

382. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I miss being out among the stars.

383. All the adventures.

384. But more than any of that,

385. (SIGHS) I missed you.

386. Hi, Grandma.

387. Hey, sweetheart.

388. I'm leaving a message for my friend Buzz.

389. The space ranger?

390. (CHUCKLES) That's right.

391. He's in space right now.

392. Wow.

393. This is my granddaughter, Izzy.

394. I'm gonna be a space ranger, too.

395. Just like him?

396. (WHISPERS) Just like you.

397. (CHOKES UP) Goodbye, Buzz.

398. I'm sorry I won't be there to see you finish the mission.

399. To infinity.

400. And beyond.

401. Knock-knock. Sorry to interrupt.

402. I'm just movin' into my new... Oh!

403. Look at that! The actual Buzz Light year in the flesh.

404. Affirmative.

405. Commander Cal Burnside.

406. I was a big fan of yours when I was a kid.

407. Well, then I look forward to working with you

408. to finally get us outta here.

409. Oh... (CHUCKLES) Did no one tell you?

410. Tell me what?

411. Yeah. Um...

412. That was the last mission, Buzz.

413. What?

414. We've decided we're gonna go ahead and stay right here.

415. Wait, here? Negative. That is not a viable option.

416. It is now. See, we're building this.

417. Laser-shield!

418. It'll keep all the critters out.

419. And we'll just tuck right in here and make do with what we've got.

420. Make do? No, wait, wait, but you don't understand, Commander.

421. I can still do it. I can get us outta here.

422. Man, it's great you still believe that.

423. But we're good, Buzz.

424. Got the laser-shield.

425. Oh. Hello, Buzz.

426. Buzz?

427. Oh, well, I've got some good news, Buzz.

428. I figured out the fuel problem.

429. What?

430. It was an interesting combination.

431. Just the slightest variance,

432. (CHUCKLES) but it made all the difference.

433. Sox, how did you do this?

434. It took me 62 years, 7 months, and 5 days.

435. And it's stable?

436. Theoretically.

437. I look forward to finding out on your next mission.

438. Yeah...

439. What?

440. Evening, Captain.

441. We're here to pick up your companion robot.

442. What do you mean?

443. Security purposes. You understand.

444. No, actually, I don't.

445. Shutting down the programme, so we have to decommission your cat.

446. It'll just take a second.

447. Now, hold on. Just...

448. (SIGHS) At least let me do it.

449. What?

450. Uh, Buzz. Where are we going?

451. We're going to space.

452. What?

453. Buzz Light year mission log, stardate...

454. I have no idea.

455. In possession of stable fuel formula.

456. I plan to reach hyper speed and this time, finally finish the mission.

457. Uh, who you talking to?

458. Doesn't matter.

459. Buzz, my programming compels me

460. to notify Star Command that you have gone...

461. Star Command was gonna decommission you.

462. - What'? - That's right.

463. Lights out. No more Sox.

464. Hey! You're not authorised to be in this area...

465. Whoa, I didn't know you could do that.

466. Wait a minute, was that for me? In case I got out of line?

467. I bought you five minutes.

468. (WHISPERING) All right, SOX.

469. - Give me the first one. - Roger.

470. Okay. Here goes.

471. - (WHIRS) - (EXPLOSION)

472. Whoa.

473. - (GASPS) The formula! - Shh, shh!

474. Tango to base. Tango to base. Security breach in the launch bay.

475. Blast.

476. We have a guard down. Repeat, we have a guard down.

477. Okay.

478. - I.V.A.N.: (LOUDLY) Hello. - No! NO, wait! I. V.A.N.! No.

479. I. V. A. N.: I am your Internal Voice—Activated Navigator:

480. - Shh! You hear that? - Call me I. V.A.N.

481. Mission control, activity detected in the XL-15.

482. - (SLURPING) —Investigating.

483. Roger that.

484. Uh, XL-15, this is control.

485. Is there someone in there?

486. - Say something. XL-15,

487. please respond.

488. Copy, control. Uh, just the, urn...

489. uh, cleaning crew. Cleaning crew.

490. We're cleaning the cockpit. Cleaning items in here?

491. Uh, Commander, did we authorise a cockpit cleaning for the XL-15?

492. What? No.

493. - Stop! Stop! Come back! - Hey! Wait!

494. XL-15, you are in violation of Star Command protocol.

495. Cease your actions immediately.

496. - Open this hatch! - (BUTTONS BEEP)

497. Commander, it's... it's Captain Light year.

498. Wait, what? Light year? Well, get him outta there!

499. Stop right now and put your hands over your head!

500. (GRUNTS) Backup.

501. - We need backup. - Get the Zap Patrol.

502. All right, team. Let's go.

503. Override the silo doors. He isn't going anywhere.

504. Blast.

505. I.V.A.N.: Unauthorised. Unauthorised.

506. - Unauthorised. Unauthorised. - Just come on, we're sitting ducks here!

507. Allow me.

508. Huh.

509. - Wait. What's happening? - He...

510. - He overrode my override. - How?

511. Beep-hoop, beep-hoop, beep-hoop, beep-hoop.

512. Light year! Light year!

513. I know you can hear me.

514. Return the ship to base right now, or so help me...

515. Sox, let's break this hyper-speed barrier and get everyone home.

516. I.V.A.N.: Approaching 70% hyper speed.

517. Approaching 80% hyper speed.

518. - (BEEPING) Fuel stable.

519. I.V.A.N.: 90% hyper speed.

520. - (ELECTRICAL TRILL) - (MUSIC STOPS)

521. (DISTORTED) 100% hyper speed.

522. Congratulations, Captain Light year.

523. You have achieved hyper speed.

524. We did it. SOX, we did it!

525. Congratulations, Buzz.

526. That was utterly terrifying, and I regret having joined you.

527. - (ALARM BUZZING) - No, no, no.

528. What is it, Buzz?

529. Our velocity is still extremely high.

530. What? What? Oh, no!

531. Are we going to crash?

532. - No. - (BUTTONS BEEPING)

533. Well, technically, yes. Just hang on.

534. - (PANTING) - (ENGINE POWERING DOWN)

535. After all these years. Thank you, Sox.

536. - Mission log, supplemental. - (COUGHS)

537. After borrowing a ship from Star Command, I've achieved hyper speed.

538. And I'm ready to finally leave this planet once and for all.

539. Buzz Light year to Star Command.

540. - Come in, Star Command. - (STATIC)

541. Star Command, come in.

542. Why don't they answer?

543. (GASPS) Hey, hey!

544. Shh. The robots.

545. (COUGHS) The what?

546. The robots.

547. Wait, What's it doing? Shh.

548. B-Zurg.

549. - My ship! Be quiet.

550. Where'd it go?

551. Up there.

552. B-Zurg.

553. Where is the pilot?

554. What is that? What is going on?

555. Get down.

556. - (DISTANT THUD) - Shoot! Come on.

557. They must've seen your ship land, too.

558. - Who? The robots.

559. Why are there robots?

560. Where did the robots come from?

561. Where did you come from?

562. - I came from here. Here? Wait.

563. Buzz?

564. Alisha?

565. Oh. Oh, no, that's my grandmother. I'm Izzy.

566. Izzy?

567. But... But you were just a little...

568. Sox, how long were we gone?

569. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

570. 22 years, 19 weeks, and 4 days.

571. Whoa.

572. Wait.

573. Come on.

574. In here.

575. Uh...

576. Thought I heard one.

577. - A robot? - Yeah.

578. Hmm. Impressive.

579. Well, I am a Hawthorne.

580. You sure are.

581. You know, your grandma and I

582. could practically finish each other's sentences.

583. If you're anything like her, you and I are gonna make

584. - a great team. - Some robots cry.

585. Okay... (CLEARS THROAT)

586. So, get me up to speed on this.

587. Right. The Zurg ship showed up about a week ago.

588. What's a hug?

589. Oh, well, that's the only thing the robots say,

590. so that's what we call the big ship.

591. The Zurg ship arrived,

592. the robots surrounded the base, and then, we”...

593. Citizens of T'kani Prime, robot aliens have attacked.

594. Everyone, inside the perimeter.

595. - Look out! - (WEAPON FIRES)

596. We are activating the laser-shield immediately.

597. B-Zurg.

598. And that's the last we heard.

599. All those people, they were counting on me,

600. and now they're trapped.

601. We've tried to reach them,

602. but there's no communication in or out.

603. Sox?

604. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. She's correct.

605. (SCOFFS) Did you just check me against your cat?

606. Well, he's not your standard-issue feline.

607. Actually, Sox was a gift from your grandmother.

608. - Hello, Izzy. - Hello, Sox.

609. Hey, what's that noise? Come on, don't break my cat.

610. He's purring. He likes it.

611. Sox, do you like that?

612. - I do. - Huh.

613. Well, I hope you're ready for action.

614. Because all we needed was a pilot.

615. For what?

616. I have a plan, and I have a team.

617. Come on!

618. All right, team. Fall in.

619. Zap, zap! Whoa.

620. I found a pilot.

621. Operation Surprise Party is a go!

622. I like this. An elite squad. Best of the best.

623. You know, her grandmother was the greatest space ranger

624. in the history of the corps.

625. It'll be an honour to work with you.

626. Come on, gather round, team.

627. Let's review our objectives.

628. Kill the robots.

629. And don't die.

630. "Don't die" is just something you wanna do every day.

631. It's still an objective.

632. If I may, we have one objective.

633. We need to put this crystal in the turnip

634. and get outta here.

635. So, to do that, we have to get onto the base.

636. To do that, we have to kill all the robots.

637. To do that, we have to destroy the Zurg ship.

638. And to do any of that, we have to not die.

639. (CLEARS THROAT) DERIC.

640. Allow me to explain Operation Surprise Party.

641. It's a variation on Operation Thunder Spear.

642. Didn't you get a medal for that one?

643. Two, actually, but, uh...

644. Wait, how do you know about Operation Thunder Spear?

645. (CHUCKLES) I've read all my grandma's space ranger books

646. from cover to cover.

647. Twice.

648. - (BUTTONS BEEPING) Huh.

649. Excuse me, robot kitty-cat.

650. Oh, sorry.

651. Sensors have indicated that the Zurg ship

652. powers the robots on the ground.

653. So, we fly up there, we blow up the ship.

654. And surprise, robots!

655. You're toast.

656. Then, we put your crystal in the turnip...

657. And finish the mission.

658. It's a good plan. To infinity.

659. Are you trying to get me to pull your finger?

660. MAN“. Don't fall for it.

661. No, not like that, it was...

662. (SIGHS) Sorry, it's a thing your grandma and I used to do.

663. EW.

664. I... We would never... She didn't mean to...

665. Anyway, forget it. Moving on.

666. Let's load these munitions into the Armadillo

667. and steel ourselves for combat.

668. Operation Surprise Party is on!

669. Buzz, uh, do you hear that?

670. I hear something.

671. You think it's a robot?

672. Nah, we've never seen a robot this far from the base.

673. I don't hear anything.

674. - (GRUNTS) - Oh. Now I do!

675. B-Zurg.

676. - (BEEPING) Did you... Get the...

677. - Don't worry, we got you! - (SOX MEOWS)

678. - (ROBOT CHIRPS) - What?

679. Ugh! Fear not! The junior patrol has your back.

680. The junior what?

681. No! The ship!

682. Did I get it? - Pretty close.

683. Sorry, I'm not trained with this weapon.

684. Let me reload it.

685. Not trained? Wait, what do you mean, you're not trained?

686. You... You there! Grab it! Grab it!

687. WOMAN“. Grab What?

688. Oh. I'm not allowed to handle weapons.

689. Be a violation of my parole.

690. - Parole? - Buzz!

691. Izzy! Now!

692. (GRUNTS) No!

693. Okay, new plan.

694. New plan? What was the old plan?

695. I need the... Has anyone seen the harpoons?

696. They came preloaded with a harpoon,

697. but I can't find... Oh, no, here, I found them.

698. Don't worry, I found the harpoons, I'm gonna reload it now. Check this out.

699. Did I get it? - A little to the left.

700. - Ha-ha! - (POWERS DOWN)

701. What? (GRUNTS)

702. Did I get it? - You got it!

703. Yes!

704. - Ha-ha. Boom! - (BUZZ SIGHS)

705. - (SYSTEM BUZZES) - (GROANS IN FRUSTRATION)

706. Okay, okay... What exactly... How did that...

707. Who are you?

708. We're the junior patrol at your service.

709. Right. I'm gonna need more information.

710. We're a volunteer team of self-motivated cadets.

711. We train one weekend a month here at the outpost.

712. Mo and Darby and I were the first to arrive last weekend

713. when the robots showed up.

714. So, we cooked up Operation Surprise Party.

715. So you're rookies?

716. Oh, boy. We'd love to be rookies.

717. Still building up to that.

718. (SIGHS) Okay. Do you have munitions training?

719. - Partial. - Tactical engagement?

720. - Pending. - Combat experience?

721. Yes! If you count the robot situation we just went through.

722. Okay. Come on, Sex.

723. What are you doing?

724. Look, you seem like nice people.

725. I'm very supportive of your training initiatives.

726. But I'm gonna go ahead and take it from here.

727. We just saved you from that robot.

728. - Excuse me? - Mo made the kill shot.

729. Mo got lucky.

730. Heh. Very.

731. So, if you could just point me in the direction of another ship...

732. There are operational spacecraft

733. at the abandoned storage depot.

734. Great. Where's that?

735. The storage depot is directly adjacent

736. to the Resource Reconstituting Center,

737. which is 4.2 kilometres from your current location.

738. Great. Where's that?

739. It's actually quite simple.

740. - Okay... - (OBJECTS CLATTERING)

741. You will first head south, towards the base.

742. After two stoplights, you will...

743. Wait. That is not right. That is a dead end.

744. Oh, I see. I was in the wrong spot.

745. Apologies. I will start over.

746. You will first head south, towards the base.

747. After two stoplights,

748. you'll take a gentle left, and...

749. Shoot. I have made another error.

750. - (BUZZ SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION) - We'll just show you.

751. Allow me to restart.

752. You will first head south, towards the base.

753. After two stoplights, you'll take a hard right.

754. Buzz Light year supplemental mission log.

755. Having finally achieved hyper speed,

756. I now have an additional obstacle in my way.

757. In order to flee this planet,

758. I'll have to destroy a massive alien ship alone

759. with no assistance of any kind.

760. You know, we could help you. It is our plan.

761. - I can't allow that. - (BEEPS)

762. Star Command code 2709.3

763. forbids me from placing unqualified personnel

764. in harm's way.

765. Okay. But I'm a Hawthorne.

766. It's more than just a name, Izzy.

767. You have to know exactly how...

768. know what you're gonna say next.

769. To react in every situation.

770. Oh, thought I had that one.

771. Okay. And you,

772. you're in a correctional situation of some kind?

773. Parole programme.

774. I do this, and they shave a little time off my sentence.

775. But I really learned a lot in there.

776. Darby can take any three things and make 'em explode.

777. Okay. And what about you?

778. Me? Oh, well, I thought this was gonna be

779. like a fun boot camp-workout thing,

780. but it is not,

781. so I was actually coming out here to turn in my stuff, and...

782. He's a quitter.

783. - (SCOFFS) I'm not a quitter. - You were quitting.

784. What are you talking about?

785. I was just going in a different direction...

786. Yeah, the direction of a quitter.

787. (GASPS) You know what? I give up.

788. - (CHUCKLES) See? - Oh, on your right.

789. B-Zurg.

790. Now, where was I?

791. Ah, here we are. Let me back up.

792. Hey, keep workin' on your skills.

793. It's the only way to get better.

794. We can help you.

795. And I appreciate that.

796. Just go back to your training facility.

797. Stay alert, stay safe.

798. I'm going to commandeer this P-32 Armadillo

799. and go blow up the Zurg ship.

800. So, this is just goodbye?

801. Affirmative. Good bye.

802. Sorry, I forgot my cat.

803. Life forms detected.

804. What are they?

805. - Giant insectoid organisms. - Ugh.

806. This building appears to be some sort of hive.

807. Are they a threat?

808. Sensors indicate they are hibernating.

809. Very good.

810. Oh, look.

811. W's the XL-m.

812. It's been a long time since...

813. - Whoa! - What is it?

814. Come on. I'll show you.

815. (SIGHS) Finally.

816. - (BUZZ YELPS) - Sorry to interrupt.

817. Looks like you were having a real nice moment.

818. What are you doing here? It's not safe.

819. You took the keys to our truck.

820. Oh, there they are.

821. - Whoa. - (KEY FOB BEEPS)

822. - Come on, come on. - (KEY FOB CLICKING)

823. - Shh! Quiet. - I'm trying! (WHIMPERS)

824. - (KEY FOB BEEPS) - Ha! Got it.

825. - (SHRIEKS) - (SCREECHING)

826. - Oh! Somebody get the... - Get the door!

827. (GRUNTS) Ha! You were gonna say "Get the door,"

828. and I got the door. (GASPS)

829. Well, I'm gonna be blunt here. I wish that hadn't happened.

830. So do the rest of us.

831. Everyone grab a weapon.

832. Boy, I'd love to, but my parole...

833. As a Star Command officer, I grant you emergency authority.

834. We're gonna blast our way outta here.

835. Now we're talkin'!

836. Buzz, the probability of surviving a frontal attack is 38.2%.

837. Seems a bit low.

838. What about stealth mode?

839. How do you know about stealth mode?

840. Grandma and I used to play stealth mode all the time.

841. It was like hide-and-seek. But with a twist.

842. Okay, well, it's actually good thinking.

843. I'll use stealth mode to disorient them.

844. Or, and stick with me here,

845. we could all use stealth mode and just walk right out.

846. Oh, ho-ho! - (MO GRUNTS)

847. You mean you would wear space ranger suits?

848. This one already has my name on it.

849. Okay.

850. Let's review.

851. - I'm going... That way.

852. - And you're going... That way.

853. Okay. Very good.

854. Check it out. I'm Feathers... Feather... Feathering... Oh.

855. Oh, look. A pen. Cool.

856. - Does yours have a pen? - Okay. Pay attention.

857. Stealth mode is fairly simple.

858. There are just two parts. You press the button...

859. - Is it this button? - I will tell you which button.

860. - Mm. What about this button? - I'm sorry.

861. We're not gonna have time to go over all the buttons.

862. Okay, forget the button. What about this thing?

863. - It's more of a pull... - No! No, no, no!

864. That's the Surrender String. You never pull that.

865. There is no more shameful manoeuvre for a space ranger.

866. Excuse me.

867. Did I miss which button is the stealth mode button?

868. It's this button.

869. Not yet.

870. You push this button, then you go out the front door,

871. and I'll go blow up the Zurg ship.

872. - Ready? Ready.

873. No, wait. Not ready. Hang on.

874. Okay. Got 'em. (CHUCKLES)

875. That would've been embarrassing.

876. Okay.

877. Goodbye again.

878. Um, Sox, you're inhibiting my visual.

879. Oh, sorry. Is this better?

880. - Negative. - Okay. How about this?

881. How about this?

882. - (BUG CHITTERS) - sox: Heh. (EXHALES)

883. Okay. Here we go.

884. Very good. Stealth mode working as planned.

885. MO: (CHUCKLES) This is pretty cool.

886. These dumb bugs can't even see us.

887. Uh-uh. MO: Hey, bug. Hey, bug, bug!

888. I'm right here, bug. Can't you see me?

889. He can't. He can't see me at all.

890. - (DEVICE BEEPING) And time has elapsed.

891. - (POWERING DOWN) - (GASPS) Wait, the timer.

892. They don't know about the timer.

893. (IN SINGSONG VOICE) Na-na, na-na, na-na.

894. You can't see me.

895. - (LAUGHS) - Wait. I can see you.

896. I can see you, too.

897. (GASPS) The bugs can see us.

898. No, no, no, no-I surrender! (GASPS)

899. (BUGS SCREECHING) —IZZY: Whoa!

900. - (GRUNTS) - (MO SCREAMING)

901. (GRUNTING) Back! Get back!

902. Ahh! This isn't working.

903. You have to keep going.

904. We have to turn around.

905. They're headed right for us.

906. No, no, do not approach the vehicle!

907. - (BUGS SCREECHING) - (ALL SCREAM)

908. Ugh. (GRUNTING)

909. - (DOOR BANGING) - (BUZZ PANTING)

910. All right!

911. - Way to adapt, team. - Get it up here.

912. Why are you congratulating yourselves?

913. (SCOFFS) Because I just Hawthorned us right outta that situation.

914. But you could've made it if...

915. If you had told us stealth mode wears off.

916. - Well... - (DOOR THUDS)

917. - (SCREECHING) - Okay, everyone just strap in.

918. I.V.A.N.: Hello, I am your...

919. Hold on.

920. (NERVOUSLY) Are we going to space?

921. No, I'm going to drop you somewhere.

922. That was a big swirly-do. Oh, I think I need a bag.

923. No, no, do not vomit inside the vehicle.

924. I can see stars. That is space.

925. What is happening right now?

926. She's afraid of space.

927. - What? - She should be. It's horrible.

928. Izzy, remember your exercises.

929. - (BREATHING RAPIDLY) - Uh, it's coming.

930. No, no, no. Engage your helmet. That'll catch it.

931. - Buzz? We got a ship! - Izzy, I'm trying to...

932. I can't see anything.

933. Oh, no! The dark side of the planet.

934. Oh! Over there! (SPLUTTERS) 10 o'clock!

935. Hold on. This isn't gonna be pretty.

936. - Is everyone okay? I think so.

937. Sex, get me a damage report.

938. One moment, please.

939. Beep-hoop, beep-hoop, beep-hoop, beep-hoop.

940. (SIGHS) Okay. This is better.

941. This is better?

942. No, obviously this is worse overall.

943. I just meant, you know... (EXHALES HEAVILY)

944. How are you afraid of space?

945. (CHUCKLES) Oh, it's pretty easy.

946. Did you know if you let go out there,

947. you just keep goin' in the same direction?

948. Forever. Just... (IMITATES WHOOSHING)

949. Well, then how were you going to blow up the Zurg ship?

950. Oh, I woulda been ground support.

951. I know, Grandma wasn't afraid of space.

952. No, because she was a space ranger.

953. Astrophobia is an automatic disqualification.

954. What was that thing?

955. - I don't know. - Well, is it gonna come back?

956. I don't know.

957. But how did it... Okay, you don't know.

958. I was done. I finally had the crystal.

959. This was supposed to be over.

960. But who am I kidding?

961. I don't need a crystal.

962. I need a time machine to get outta this mess.

963. Ping! Assessment complete.

964. HOW bad is it?

965. The blast was absorbed by the heat shield

966. and only caused a minor electrical short.

967. Okay.

968. So, in order to be flight operational,

969. the Armadillo will require a material of specialised capacitance.

970. Oh, like an electrical thingy.

971. How do you know that?

972. We learned this.

973. Specialised capacitance?

974. Remember, we built those field radios last month?

975. Oh, yeah. That was fun.

976. Yeah, except Darby messed hers up.

977. I'm gonna mess you up.

978. Please. I'm trying to think here.

979. (WHISPERS) I messed mine up, but then I fixed it.

980. Yeah, but you broke that computer console.

981. I needed that little coil for its... What was it?

982. Specialised capacitance...

983. Hey, honestly, there is a lot of room out here.

984. If you guys wanna reminisce, you could go over there.

985. Or, look, there's no one trying to think over there.

986. (GASPS) We can go up there.

987. Fine. Perfect.

988. Yes. Okay, new plan.

989. - (DARBY GROANS) - Wait, What?

990. That mining facility will have a console, right?

991. That console will have a little coil thing, right?

992. And that little coil thing will have the...

993. MO: Specialised capacitance.

994. That we need to fix the ship. Right?

995. She's right.

996. Huh.

997. Good job. Now that's thinking like a Hawthorne.

998. Let's go get that part and get outta here before that thing finds us again.

999. Whoa.

1000. Over there.

1001. Okay, here we go.

1002. - (BUZZING) - MO: Huh?

1003. Buzz Light year mission log.

1004. In order to repair our ship, we have to find some way

1005. to get inside the command centre and...

1006. Oh.

1007. Nice job, elderly convict.

1008. Okay. The activation coil should be in here.

1009. Sox?

1010. Need a pen?

1011. And, got it.

1012. Okay, yeah. Another time.

1013. - (BUTTON CLICKS) - (ALARM BEEPING)

1014. - Oh, no. - (ALARM WAILING)

1015. AI: Security measures activated.

1016. - (IZZY AND MO YELP) - No! Not this again.

1017. Not what? What is this?

1018. A capture cone. It holds ya until they come and get ya.

1019. No one's coming to get us. They're all trapped on the base.

1020. So we should just leave, right?

1021. We can't just leave.

1022. Sure we can. Take it from me, you can always just leave.

1023. Look. See? (CHUCKLES)

1024. - (THUD) - Come on! (GRUNTING)

1025. Told you.

1026. Now, be careful, because these things...

1027. (ANGRILY) combine if they touch.

1028. All right, sorry. But maybe if we both try it?

1029. That's not gonna work.

1030. (SIGHS) You haven't even tried.

1031. - (MO AND DARBY GRUNT) No, no, no!

1032. Oh, meow!

1033. Yeah, that didn't work.

1034. - Buzz? - Whoa, whoa, hold on.

1035. I'm no help to anyone if I'm stuck in there with you.

1036. Sox, can you turn these off?

1037. (GRUNTS) I can't reach the controls.

1038. Wait, there's a soft spot in the floor here.

1039. - Maybe we can... - That's my foot. (GRUNTS)

1040. Sorry. Hey. Whoa. Watch it!

1041. Wait, that's it. That thing powers these things.

1042. - Then let's hit it again. - Wait, wait, wait.

1043. We need the door to be open.

1044. So I'll open this, you slam into the power source,

1045. these things will disappear, and we'll walk right out.

1046. Yes, sir. MO: Okay.

1047. Ready?

1048. - (ALL GRUNTING) - Keep trying!

1049. - (SIGHS) - We're just not heavy enough.

1050. Buzz, we need you.

1051. Wait, in there?

1052. But if it doesn't work, I won't be able to save you.

1053. You don't need to save us. You need to join us.

1054. - (ALL GRUNTING) - Again.

1055. Again!

1056. - (DOOR BEEPS) - Again!

1057. - (ALL GRUNT) - (BLASTING)

1058. - (ALL GRUNT) No!

1059. - Go, go! - (IZZY AND MO SCREAM)

1060. Watch out! —(MO GASPING)

1061. Uh... (YELPS)

1062. Buzz, no!

1063. We need the coil. (GRUNTING)

1064. - (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) - (BUZZ BREATHING SHAKILY)

1065. We got you.

1066. Oh, look. Snacks.

1067. Anyone go for a snack?

1068. Mm.

1069. Here. Let's all recharge a little.

1070. - (SOX CHARGING) - Here you go.

1071. Huh. This is, uh... What, uh... What's...

1072. What's happenin' here?

1073. Somethin' wrong with your sandwich?

1074. Why's the... Why's the meat on the outside?

1075. 'Cause it's a sandwich?

1076. No, the bread is supposed to be on the outside.

1077. What, like bread, meat, bread?

1078. That's too much bread.

1079. Yeah, but this is all wet.

1080. Yeah. Juicy fingers. That's the best part.

1081. When's the last time you had a sandwich?

1082. I don't know, 100 years ago? Give or take.

1083. (CHUCKLES) This guy. "Bread, meat, bread."

1084. It's too much bread.

1085. That would just suck all the moisture

1086. - out of your mouth. - (IZZY AND MO LAUGH)

1087. Good one, Darby.

1088. - Oh, no! - (GASPS) Sox!

1089. Wake up, Sox.

1090. Come on, little buddy. Come back to me.

1091. Please, Sox, I'm sorry.

1092. Sox.

1093. (COUGHS) Hello. I... I require a reboot.

1094. - (sox CHARGING) - (MO SIGHS)

1095. I'm sorry, guys. I almost killed Sox.

1096. I almost got us all killed back there.

1097. Hey. Listen to me. It was just a mistake.

1098. Right, Buzz?

1099. Oh, uh...

1100. Just, you know, try to be a little better.

1101. (CLEARS THROAT) Listen.

1102. Um...

1103. I just, uh...

1104. When I first went to the academy,

1105. I was not, you know, good. (CHUCKLES DRYLY)

1106. I screwed up. Every day.

1107. I got tangled in the obstacle course,

1108. my hands shook so much I couldn't hit the target.

1109. Not the bull's-eye, the whole target.

1110. And I was gonna quit after the first week.

1111. It was clear I was not space ranger material.

1112. Really?

1113. Yeah.

1114. But her grandma saw something in me.

1115. So, I started looking for it, too.

1116. Recalibrating. - (GASPS)

1117. One corrupted file restored.

1118. Uh... Hey, he's lighting up.

1119. Grandma... - Hello, Sox.

1120. I need you to do me a favour.

1121. I need you to look after my best friend.

1122. His name's Buzz.

1123. He's away right now, but he'll be back soon.

1124. He's a space ranger.

1125. He's going to get us all home. Get us all home...

1126. What's wrong?

1127. Did you not hear that?

1128. She believed I could fix the mistake I made.

1129. And that belief cost her everything.

1130. Everything? No.

1131. She had Grandma Kiko,

1132. my dad and me, all her friends.

1133. She didn't mean to be here,

1134. but she had a whole life on this planet, Buzz.

1135. All of us have.

1136. Except for you.

1137. We wanted to be space rangers again.

1138. - We wanted to matter. - (CHUCKLES)

1139. Believe me. She mattered.

1140. Hmm. You know, it is pretty good this way.

1141. (CHUCKLES) Yeah? Bread, meat, bread.

1142. How long did you do it like that?

1143. (CHUCKLES) Forever.

1144. Ping!

1145. Ah, fully recharged.

1146. Come on.

1147. Let's go put this part in the ship and get out of here.

1148. Sox, can you light our way?

1149. Of course. Click-click.

1150. Click-click.

1151. Click-click.

1152. Ha! I see you. I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you.

1153. Oh, I didn't get you.

1154. - Uh, Sox? - Where'd you go? I got you!

1155. Sox. Oh, yeah, sorry.

1156. (CHUCKLES) This is exciting.

1157. Operation Surprise Party, here we come!

1158. Wait, what? Negative. I can't put you in harm's way like that.

1159. What, are you gonna do the whole mission alone?

1160. I can do it.

1161. Uh, because you got a Hawthorne right here.

1162. And I appreciate that.

1163. Tell you what, I'll let you know if I need you.

1164. But until then, let's just try to get back to the Armadillo without any more trouble.

1165. - (BUZZ GASPS) - (MENACING MUSIC PLAYING)

1166. (GASPS) Run!

1167. - (ALL GRUNT) - (IZZY GASPS)

1168. - No! - (MO GASPS)

1169. What? It's after me. Go back to the ship.

1170. But... But, Buzz!

1171. Buzz Light year mission log.

1172. I'm being pursued by a... uh...

1173. Just a massive robot.

1174. I'm leading it away while the others escape to the ship.

1175. Buzz.

1176. (GASPS) What? How do you know my name?

1177. Come with me.

1178. - What? - (WEAPON WHIRS)

1179. (LAUGHS) This is definitely a violation of my parole.

1180. Come on. Let's get outta here.

1181. B-Zurg.

1182. Ready yourselves for launch.

1183. Operation Surprise Party is back on.

1184. - What? With us? - (SWITCHES CLICKING)

1185. What, am I gonna do the whole mission alone?

1186. - (CONSOLE BEEPING) - We can't launch yet.

1187. I need five minutes to install the coil.

1188. We can't sit here for five minutes.

1189. The ship still has hover capabilities.

1190. Then let's use 'em.

1191. We might lose 'em in the fire geysers.

1192. Point the way. You two, blast some robots.

1193. But we haven't even finished our munitions training.

1194. Shh. How hard can it be? Look.

1195. We got these spiky things, and these ones probably explode.

1196. Just do whatever feels right.

1197. What? What are you gonna do?

1198. I'm gonna dance with Mr Boom.

1199. Now that's satisfying.

1200. 20% complete.

1201. Out of 100?

1202. They're gaining on us. Where are those fire geysers?

1203. Dead ahead.

1204. Don't worry, I know every last inch of...

1205. - Watch out! - (ALARM BEEPING RAPIDLY)

1206. Here. Throw this.

1207. - Wait, wait. Hold on. - Throw it!

1208. B-Zurg.

1209. Fire geysers dead ahead!

1210. Whoa. Whoa!

1211. Uh, 50% complete.

1212. - (BOTH SCREAM) B-Zurg.

1213. Hey! We have explosives back here.

1214. Quick! Give me something.

1215. B-Zurg.

1216. 90% complete.

1217. Izzy, do you know how to transfer power on the fly?

1218. Uh, I've done it in the simulator.

1219. Well, it's about to get real.

1220. Do you need my help with anything?

1221. Absolutely not.

1222. 95% complete.

1223. Ready thrusters. Green button. Middle.

1224. Done.

1225. Remember from training.

1226. You don't pull the trigger, you squeeze the trigger.

1227. (SCOFFS) I know.

1228. - Uh, 99% complete. - Transfer to

1229. - oscillating power. - Oscillating power. Done.

1230. - (SIGHT BEEPS) - SOX: 100% complete.

1231. Ugh. Reboot. Okay, be ready to launch

1232. - once the fuel cell is... - Ready launch!

1233. No!

1234. Oh, no. - Blast!

1235. (GRUNTS) Grab the crystal!

1236. No.

1237. I...

1238. Buzz.

1239. I'm so sorry.

1240. Everything was happenin' so fast, and I...

1241. I just...

1242. I made a mistake.

1243. Yeah.

1244. Okay. But we're not done, right?

1245. We can still do something.

1246. Izzy, look around.

1247. There is nothing to do.

1248. The mission... (SIGHS)

1249. It's over.

1250. Buzz.

1251. Buzz!

1252. Where are you going?

1253. I just need to (SIGHS) be by myself.

1254. - (GASPS, YELLS) - No!

1255. Buzz!

1256. Buzz?

1257. What the...

1258. What is this? Where are we?

1259. Who are you?

1260. Now, that's the question.

1261. Huh?

1262. You look good, Buzz.

1263. Dad?

1264. (CHUCKLES) Guess again.

1265. Huh?

1266. Sox?

1267. (DISTORTED) Hello, Buzz.

1268. I don't understand.

1269. I messed this all up.

1270. Hey. It was just a mistake.

1271. Remember what you told me?

1272. This one's different.

1273. Why?

1274. Because it's mine!

1275. I'm supposed to be as good as my grandma.

1276. I'm supposed to be a Hawthorne.

1277. But I'm not.

1278. Buzz?

1279. Wait a minute. Hold on.

1280. You're not me. I'm me.

1281. Well, you're you now.

1282. But I'm you 50 years from now.

1283. Well, there can't be two mes.

1284. Yet here we both are.

1285. Okay, then. If you're me,

1286. I'm thinking of a number between one and...

1287. Twelve hundred and seventy-three.

1288. Whoa.

1289. - (BUZZ GASPS) B-Zurg.

1290. Isn't that cute?

1291. Robots can't quite say "Buzz,"

1292. so around here, I'm just Zurg.

1293. B-Zurg. - And I guess so are you.

1294. How? I don't understand.

1295. Don't worry about it. None of this is gonna matter.

1296. Buzz. Yes?

1297. You have to explain it all to him.

1298. (SIGHS) You're right.

1299. I'm sorry. It's just exciting.

1300. You're finally here.

1301. See, I reached hyper speed, too.

1302. I.V.A.N.: Hyper speed.

1303. Just like you did.

1304. But I wasn't greeted as a hero.

1305. No, that new commander was gonna arrest me for stealing the XL-15.

1306. I'd found a way to get them home, and they didn't even care.

1307. So, I escaped.

1308. I went as far as I could as fast as I could.

1309. At that speed for that long, I travelled centuries.

1310. And I ended up in a future you wouldn't recognise,

1311. filled with technology you can't imagine.

1312. And that's when it dawned on me.

1313. If we can use this crystal to go forward in time,

1314. why not use it to go back?

1315. But we can't go back in time.

1316. - We can now. - What?

1317. Listen, Buzz. I've broken time.

1318. What's happening to you never happened to me.

1319. This is a new now that's never been lived.

1320. You see, we can change things, Buzz.

1321. Well, if we can go back in time,

1322. we can... we can stop ourselves

1323. from ever landing on that planet.

1324. From ever hitting that mountain.

1325. We can just continue the mission home.

1326. And none of this will have ever happened.

1327. It's a good plan.

1328. And this crystal is the key to it all.

1329. Wait, don't you already have one?

1330. Well, sort of.

1331. See, I wore my crystal out testing the time travel.

1332. Wore myself out, too. It took a while.

1333. Turns out, this isn't an exact science.

1334. This is as far back in time as I could get.

1335. Come on. (CHUCKLES) Help me configure the engine.

1336. It should look familiar.

1337. Wait, is this... is this based on the turnip?

1338. Set it for reverse thrusters, full.

1339. - (POWERING UP) - So, we designed all of this?

1340. Oh, no, this is all, uh, borrowed.

1341. I just made some modifications.

1342. She'll get to be a space ranger again, Buzz.

1343. - Yeah. - (SWITCHES CLICKING)

1344. - Although... - What?

1345. Well, she won't have her family.

1346. She won't have Izzy.

1347. Who's Izzy?

1348. Look, she's not gonna miss anyone

1349. if she never meets them in the first place, right?

1350. The only thing people are gonna know is that we finished our mission.

1351. Here. Hand me your crystal.

1352. Buzz?

1353. I don't know, maybe... (SIGHS)

1354. Maybe we should think about this.

1355. Think about What?

1356. Commander Hawthorne believed we could fix this mistake we made.

1357. And that belief cost her everything.

1358. Oh, no. No, no. We had that all wrong.

1359. She had a whole life down there.

1360. What kind of life?

1361. We're supposed to be space rangers.

1362. We're supposed to matter.

1363. You don't wanna live like this, Buzz.

1364. Waking up with that same nightmare,

1365. haunted by your mistake.

1366. But you can finally let go of that.

1367. Starting right now.

1368. You're right.

1369. I can.

1370. Where you going?

1371. You and me, we're not the same.

1372. I'm sorry.

1373. No, Buzz.

1374. I'm sorry.

1375. (SIGHS) Hey, Cat.

1376. Do you know how to fly this thing?

1377. Um, there's no fuel.

1378. See? This is why we should never have gotten in over our heads.

1379. What did you wanna do?

1380. Wait at the outpost until the robots found us?

1381. MO: Well, that's better than being stranded out here

1382. where no one's ever gonna find us.

1383. (GROANS) You are the last person I wanna be stuck with

1384. in a life-and-death situation.

1385. Well, you're in luck, okay?

1386. 'Cause look around. This is just a "death" situation.

1387. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

1388. (SIGHS) I've completely lost Buzz.

1389. He's too far away to track.

1390. - Everybody! Inside! - What?

1391. Get inside the ship.

1392. (WHIMPERS) What's after us now?

1393. We don't have any more weapons.

1394. It's okay. We're getting outta here.

1395. Where are we going?

1396. We're goin' to space.

1397. - Hey! Let go of me. No! - (ROBOT CHIRPS)

1398. I don't understand What's happening here, Buzz.

1399. You've changed.

1400. And not for the better. (CHUCKLES)

1401. No!

1402. You can't do this. You're gonna erase it all.

1403. (CHUCKLES) Exactly.

1404. No, you're gonna take away everything.

1405. People's families, their friends.

1406. My friends.

1407. They have lives on that planet.

1408. Everyone does.

1409. Except for us.

1410. (SIGHS) I hardly recognise you, Buzz.

1411. All these new ideas...

1412. You know what?

1413. We'll go ahead and erase those, too.

1414. - (DART WHOOSHES) - (OLD BUZZ GROANS)

1415. Whoa! - I bought you five minutes.

1416. - Why? - I like this new you.

1417. We have to destroy this ship.

1418. Can you get me to the bridge?

1419. Certainly. Follow me.

1420. B-Zurg.

1421. Operation Surprise Party, here we go.

1422. Zap, zap!

1423. We need to protect our escape ship.

1424. So don't let any robots come through that door.

1425. Don't worry. We'll seal it off.

1426. You go find Buzz.

1427. I'll track the chip in his dog tags.

1428. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Hmm.

1429. What's wrong?

1430. Uh, I'm getting two Buzz signals. That can't be right.

1431. I'll triangulate. That'll get us close enough. Come on.

1432. A shortcut back.

1433. Whoop. (GRUNTS)

1434. (GASPS) Oh.

1435. Well, that's pretty neat.

1436. - We have to go. - Yep, all right.

1437. Ugh, great.

1438. I don't know any of these controls.

1439. - Wait. I.V.A.N.? - I.V.A.N.: Yes, Captain?

1440. Boy, am I glad to see you.

1441. Initiate self-destruct sequence in two minutes.

1442. I.V.A.N.: You got it.

1443. Self-destruct countdown initiated.

1444. Buzz, you don't want any of this cool technology?

1445. - Only you, buddy. Come on. - (ALARM WAILING)

1446. Traitor! - No! (GRUNTS)

1447. Enough.

1448. Just tell me where the crystal is.

1449. MO: Okay, we've got to protect our escape ship.

1450. So how do we close this door?

1451. I don't know.

1452. What? You said, "Don't worry, we'll seal it of

1453. Right. So, don't worry. We will.

1454. Ah. Here we go.

1455. Look. See?

1456. - (BEEPING) - What?

1457. - (POWERS DOWN) - (ALARM BUZZING)

1458. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

1459. Oh! The signal is tighter now.

1460. He has to be straight this way.

1461. (SHUDDERS) That's a lot of space.

1462. Keep it together.

1463. - Keep it together. - (DOOR BEEPS)

1464. (GASPS) No, no, no!

1465. I don't understand.

1466. The signal says Buzz is 50 metres away.

1467. (GASPS) He's over there.

1468. You think we're not the same, Buzz?

1469. You're already me. You just don't know it yet.

1470. I'm never gonna be you!

1471. Well, if you're not gonna be me, you're not gonna be anyone.

1472. - (GRUNTS) - (POWERING DOWN)

1473. I.V.A. N.: Artificial gravity disengaged.

1474. Blast.

1475. No, no, no, no.

1476. Ha—hah!

1477. - Hey, what are you doing? - Building a bomb.

1478. Oh, nice. Do you need a pen?

1479. No. Here.

1480. Aw, thank you.

1481. Mm, peppermint.

1482. Give me the wrapper.

1483. So, you can just build a bomb out of that stuff?

1484. I've worked with less. Now give me the gum.

1485. Wait. I'm not done. There's still a lot of flavour left.

1486. Come on!

1487. There. When they step on it, it'll blow up.

1488. What if they don't step on it?

1489. I mean, I wouldn't step on that. Would you?

1490. (SIGHS) Then we need to drop something heavy on it.

1491. Just gonna... No!

1492. Buzz?

1493. Buzz!

1494. Alisha?

1495. Are you okay?

1496. No. I... I can't do it alone. I need help.

1497. Buzz. I'm not my grandma.

1498. Izzy, I don't need your grandma.

1499. I need you.

1500. Sex. How do we get over there?

1501. Through the airlock.

1502. Through there? There's nothing out there.

1503. Exactly. Nothing in your way.

1504. You just go straight across.

1505. No!

1506. Let me get this straight, when this falls on your bomb,

1507. - it'll definitely explode? - Yes.

1508. - And that'll seal the door? - Yes.

1509. Well, we better hurry.

1510. I am hurrying. (PANTING)

1511. Why don't you hurry?

1512. - (GRUNTING) Come on. - (SHRIEKS)

1513. Okay.

1514. (WHISPERING) Come on, come on, Izzy, come on.

1515. You got this. (GASPING)

1516. (FEEBLY) Oh, man.

1517. Oh, no.

1518. Uh, just don't look down. Or up. It's all space.

1519. It's everywhere. All around you.

1520. I'm sorry. I'm probably not helping.

1521. Just go straight.

1522. Once you push off, that's the direction you'll go.

1523. But What if I miss?

1524. Don't miss.

1525. Oh, no.

1526. No, no, no, no, no, no!

1527. - Whoa! - (IZZY YELLS)

1528. - (GRUNTING) —Sox!

1529. Whoa. Whoa, whoa!

1530. - (sox SCREAMS) - (IZZY GRUNTING)

1531. - Thank you, Izzy. - (SIGHS IN RELIEF)

1532. - (DOOR BEEPS) - (IZZY GRUNTS)

1533. There's no way in.

1534. Perhaps I could help.

1535. - You can't hide from me, Buzz. - (BUZZ GRUNTS)

1536. It's like hiding from yourself.

1537. I'll always find you.

1538. - (GRUNTS) - (WEAPON WHIRS, DIES)

1539. I.V.A.N.: Manual override activated.

1540. Huh?

1541. Buzz! - Now!

1542. Come on, let's get outta here.

1543. We have to blow up the ship.

1544. There's no time. We'll never make it.

1545. Oh, yes, we will.

1546. Huh?

1547. I.V.A. N.: Self-destruct sequence complete in ten,

1548. —nine, eight... —OLD BUZZ: I-V-A-N-? I-V-A-N-!

1549. B-Zurg.

1550. - (WEAPONS WHIRRING) - Darby, we have to surrender.

1551. No! I am not giving up.

1552. Yep, neither am I. Hold on.

1553. - (MO AND DARBY SCREAM) - (ROBOT CHIRPS)

1554. I.V.A.N.: five, four... Let's go.

1555. - I.V.A.N.: three, two... - Everyone, get in.

1556. - one. - (YELLS)

1557. - (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) - (PANTING)

1558. Buzz Light year mission log.

1559. We've destroyed the Zurg ship, and Zurg himself.

1560. Now I just have to catch up to the Armadillo in order to... (GROANS)

1561. Going somewhere?

1562. I.V.A.N.: Warning, engine damage is catastrophic.

1563. Buzz Light year mission log.

1564. I now have the crystal in my possession

1565. and can finally, at long last, finish the mission.

1566. I'm gonna go back and matter again, Buzz.

1567. And you?

1568. It will be like you were never here.

1569. - So, prepare to die. - (WEAPON WHIRS)

1570. Not today, Zurg.

1571. - Huh? - (BUZZ GRUNTS)

1572. We've entered the planet's gravitational pull.

1573. Are we gonna crash?

1574. - I'm afraid so. - (BOTH WHIMPERING)

1575. Buzz!

1576. I... I can't do it.

1577. Buzz, it's okay. We can.

1578. Can you keep the ship steady?

1579. Yeah. I think so.

1580. Okay. Sox, use the emergency battery to power up flight controls.

1581. Got it.

1582. I'll need a co-pilot.

1583. Okay. But I've only done this in the simulator.

1584. Well, it's about to get real.

1585. Remember, pull back on the yoke nice and...

1586. - easy. - Yep, sorry.

1587. Nice and easy from now on.

1588. It's not working.

1589. We're coming in too fast.

1590. - I. V.A.N. - I.V.A.N.: Yes, Captain?

1591. We're going too fast. I.V.A. N.: Congratulations!

1592. - (FANFARE PLAYS) - (COUGHING)

1593. We don't need confetti. We need brakes!

1594. - Oh! I know! The airbrake! - The airbrake!

1595. On the floor. - Darby!

1596. - (GRUNTS) It's stuck. - What?

1597. The cover, it's stuck.

1598. I need a screwdriver. Or a hairclip.

1599. Or some sort of a small wedge.

1600. (GASPS) I've got the pen!

1601. Buzz! - Is everyone okay?

1602. Yeah. MO: Yeah.

1603. - I think so. - (ALL PANTING)

1604. - (SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE) - The cops! Everybody run!

1605. Wait. It's just the rescue team.

1606. (SIGHS IN RELIEF) Right. Okay.

1607. (CHUCKLES) You seem like a decent citizen.

1608. What led to your incarceration?

1609. I stole a ship.

1610. Oh!

1611. Well, who among us hasn't stolen a ship in a moment of...

1612. (CLEARS THROAT) relative desperation?

1613. I'm a man of resources. My weapon is ingenuity.

1614. I can do anything!

1615. Can you not shout in my ear?

1616. Oh, yep, sorry.

1617. You okay?

1618. (CHUCKLES) I was in space.

1619. Your grandma would be proud.

1620. She'd be proud of you, too.

1621. She always was.

1622. Wait. Where's your crystal?

1623. It's gone.

1624. But your mission...

1625. You wanted to go home.

1626. You know, for the first time in a long time,

1627. I feel like I am home.

1628. - (LOUD THUMP) - (ALL GASP)

1629. (CHIRPING) B-Zurg.

1630. Look out!

1631. - (WEAPON FIRES) - What?

1632. Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap!

1633. Stop right now.

1634. (GRUNTS ANGRILY) Light year.

1635. You absconded with Star Command property, stole an experimental spacecraft,

1636. and defied a direct order from your commander.

1637. I ought to throw you in the stockade.

1638. But I have other plans for you.

1639. We want you to start a new version of the Space Ranger Corps.

1640. Universe Protection Division.

1641. You're gonna be a space ranger again, Buzz.

1642. You can hand-select your team from the very best

1643. of the Zap Patrol and train them to your liking.

1644. Zap, zap!

1645. Well, that's very kind of you, sir,

1646. but I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline.

1647. I already have my team.

1648. (CHUCKLES) These new suits are amazing. Arm blaster, rocket wings.

1649. Could use a pen, though.

1650. Can't believe I'm allowed to carry this.

1651. I wish I had two of 'em.

1652. You got a clean record, and you're free and armed.

1653. How are you still complaining?

1654. I got off for good behaviour, not good attitude.

1655. You know, I never wear pants,

1656. but suddenly it feels weird to not be wearing pants.

1657. Does it look weird without pants?

1658. MO: No, you look good.

1659. Wish I could pull that off.

1660. Look, Grandma, I'm a space ranger.

1661. Just like you.

1662. All right, team. We've picked up a signal in the Gamma Quadrant of Sector Four.

1663. We don't know what it is,

1664. but we're not gonna wait for it to invade our home.

1665. Copy, Commander. You can count on us.

1666. Buzz Light year mission log, stardate 4071.

1667. As members of the elite Universe Protection Unit

1668. of the Space Ranger Corps,

1669. we've been charged to protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion

1670. from any sworn enemies of the Galactic Alliance.

1671. Okay, everyone. Make sure you're securely fastened.

1672. Do we have everything?

1673. Munitions? - Check.

1674. - Sustenance? - I brought sandwiches.

1675. And your tummy will be okay?

1676. - Au set. - All right.

1677. Am I forgetting anything?

1678. I think we're ready.

1679. I.V.A. N.: Hello.

1680. I am your Internal Voice-Activated Navigator.

1681. Good to have you back, I.V.A.N.

1682. Captain Light year, ready for launch.

1683. —Sox? Meow?

1684. Beep, beep, beep, beep.

1685. - Ch-chk! - I. V.A.N.,

1686. - initiate hyper launch. - MO: Hmm. Ha-ha!

1687. I.V.A.N.: Certainly.

1688. All right, space rangers. Here we go.

1689. To infinity...

1690. And beyond. (MIMICS EXPLOSION)

1691. (LAUGHS) Laser-shield.

1692. Now, should you prefer a more scenic route,

1693. you'll want to head south past the Bromide Swamps,

1694. a breathtaking sight, or so I am told.

1695. But, if you're in a hurry, this would be your most direct route.

1696. Any questions?

1697. Hello?