Life of Crime: 1984-2020 (2021)

1. Same place, ten times in the eye.

2. You better watch it with that damn knife.

3. Eee.

4. 3D.

5. I'm gonna rob everything I can get my hands on.

6. Put the camera away, okay?

7. Deliris Vasquez: That's before I started using drugs.

8. I went to two years in college,

9. and that's when I met my ex-husband

10. and that's when I started using drugs.

11. Jon Alpert: Tell me what you're gonna do.

12. What are you guys gonna do?

13. We're goin' to the store, we're gonna try to—

14. - Jon: That store over there? - Yeah.

15. Yeah, store over there.

16. We're gonna try to, um, load up.

17. What are you lookin' for?

18. Anything...

19. - Mike McGrath: Make some money. - Yeah.

20. And if you get caught?

21. Go to jail.

22. I have to go to work.

23. That one. This one.

24. Eight sets of sheets.

25. That lady is from Harrison.

26. She knows me. Forget it.

27. Get the fuck outta here.

28. - Jon: You're really good.

29. What's he doin'? He's distractin' them?

30. Yeah, he's comin' out now. There he is.

31. - Jon: Yeah? - Yeah.

32. Job well done.

33. Uh, we got, um, sets of sheets.

34. I can make about $80 here.

35. Beats the minimum wage.

36. Were you afraid you were gonna get caught in there?

37. I'm always afraid.

38. - But... the baby gotta eat. - Mike: It's a chance you gotta take.

39. I gotta eat. The rent gotta be paid.

40. Hey.

41. Freddie Rodriguez: One, two, three, four, five.

42. Protection. Never know.

43. Watch, watch.

44. I wanna speak. I wanna speak.

45. Dance...

46. Aah!

47. Is it gonna be hard to sell this stuff?

48. No. No, no. Not at all.

49. - Jon: Uh-huh. - Rob: Easy.

50. Where you gonna take it?

51. - Gonna take it to a store down here. - Mike: To a fence.

52. - Jon: Uh-huh. - That's queen size.

53. - Let's go. Put it in the bag. - We'll see you later.

54. - Man: Yeah, yeah.

55. Ten dollars is cheap.

56. - That's queen size. - Man: It's the big ones.

57. Let me see the money?

58. - Real money. - What is that?

59. Let's go, Mike.

60. We didn't really make that much.

61. - Here, here's your half. - Rob: The only—

62. - Jon: How much did it sell for? - Mike: Take that right there.

63. Well, the thing that happened,

64. I-I didn't wanna waste time, like, goin' around,

65. 'cause I coulda made $80.

66. But sometime it happen

67. that you just gotta give it away, 50 bucks.

68. - We lost $30— - We sold 'em for 50 bucks.

69. But we didn't wanna waste time 'cause that time is money.

70. - Angela: You got your keys? - Yeah.

71. About time you cleaned.

72. Real funny.

73. Robbie, who's everybody here? Who is who?

74. Turn around. This is Angela, my girl.

75. - Jon: Uh-huh. - It's my father Ed.

76. Glad to meet ya.

77. - Jon: Hi, Dad, how you doin'? - All right.

78. My father works.

79. How much you make?

80. How much you make an hour, Ed?

81. Four dollars and ten cents an hour.

82. How much you bring home at the end of the week?

83. - Eighty dollars a week. - Ed Steffey: A week.

84. - Jon: Yeah? Yeah? - Peanuts.

85. You have to make extra money some way, survive.

86. You know what your son does to make money?

87. Yep, I know.

88. And what do you think about it?

89. I don't like the idea.

90. - Jon: No? - Nope.

91. This is my man.

92. Just got outta jail.

93. Did 60 days in jail.

94. Yeah?

95. For what?

96. Uh, for possession, cocaine.

97. He's my original teacher.

98. He's the best.

99. Number one.

100. I don't like to brag, you know, but—

101. We're goin' into the store, get the stuff and come out.

102. Nobody see us go in, nobody see us come out.

103. - Jon: What-what's in the box? - Rob: Shirts.

104. How much you gonna sell that for, you think?

105. I don't know what it's worth.

106. I don't want nobody get my plate, man.

107. Just like that?

108. - Just like that. - Just like that.

109. I don't know what's in there.

110. But wait, there was about five people watchin' you.

111. - Ain't nothin'. - Jon: Huh?

112. Anybody got the plate? Anybody got the plate?

113. You know who's been watchin'.

114. Nah, don't worry about that.

115. These are bad shirts.

116. Tiger.

117. Well, you can't be perfect when you steal everything.

118. - Hey, you could use them for pajamas. - Rob: Look at that.

119. Got a zipper.

120. I'm givin' away free shirts.

121. Still got some shirts.

122. Hey, over here! Over here!

123. These are so nice. Can I have it?

124. The stuff that we threw away before,

125. everybody's pickin' it out the garbage.

126. - Jon: Now, listen. Would you give this stuff... - We always give stuff out.

127. Would you give this stuff away if I wasn't filmin'?

128. Yeah, we always do.

129. Don't believe him. This is his first time.

130. - Jon: First time, huh? - In history.

131. The first time. The first.

132. I'm always givin'...

133. I always been givin' stuff around.

134. When I can't sell it—

135. You know, but I always give shit away.

136. This is my family.

137. This is my little baby, little girl, Elizabeth.

138. This is my lady, Mari.

139. How long you been together?

140. About a year and a half, two years.

141. Yeah?

142. Well, Mari, did you know what, uh,

143. Freddie's occupation was when you met him the first time?

144. Yeah.

145. I'm not gonna work for $150 a week

146. when I could make $150 a day.

147. You know what I mean?

148. Are you worried that they might grow up

149. and get into the same type of life?

150. Yeah.

151. I don't want 'em to do what I do

152. because I know what I've been through, you know.

153. I wouldn't want them to be like this, you know.

154. Yeah.

155. So I don't wanna teach 'em

156. how to steal and shit like that, you know.

157. I want 'em to get, go to school

158. and get good jobs and shit, you know.

159. I'm planning on stopping but, um...

160. it's not that easy.

161. I'm addicted to shopliftin'.

162. How much did he miss me by?

163. I'd say about an inch.

164. Oh, my God.

165. You get a birthday cake. That's your present.

166. Whose birthday? Your birthday?

167. - Mike: Ange's birthday. - Jon: Aw.

168. Old Aunt Ange.

169. Cut it open, look.

170. Motherfucker cost me $20 of stolen money.

171. Shit. Shit.

172. Look what I gave Ange for her birthday.

173. Photo book. Cost $20—

174. The cake I had paid for...

175. - I bought it. - Jon: Yeah?

176. I bought it with money.

177. - Jon: Congratulations. - Earned money.

178. Right? Huh?

179. Get the fuck in here.

180. Get in here.

181. Now, answer this man's questions.

182. Happy birthday.

183. This is my, my girl

184. who got my baby down there.

185. - Jon: What? - Mike: That's right.

186. That is a paycheck.

187. Not yours.

188. That's a paycheck. My girl works hard.

189. Jon She works and gives you all the money?

190. - Right. - She doesn't give it to me.

191. - We share it. - Rob: Now...

192. now, he ain't gotta shoplift no more.

193. We share it, you know.

194. - Kid: Oh!

195. - You better shut the fuck up.

196. Mike's girlfriend: 'Cause you know you're wrong.

197. Oh, my God. Please.

198. - Mike: Now shut the fuck up.

199. Told you. You keep our problems to us.

200. You don't go screamin' 'em out in front of everybody.

201. I'll kill you, bitch.

202. What are you fightin' about?

203. 'Cause she's hardheaded and don't listen,

204. and she's gotta learn to listen.

205. Well, you ain't gotta hit her.

206. Yes, I do.

207. 'Cause that's the only way you concentrate—

208. - Mike's girlfriend: Rob, would you listen— - You better shut up.

209. - I told you.

210. I... Get in that hole.

211. Get back in that hole.

212. Get in there.

213. No. Please, Michael.

214. Get in there.

215. Now, you get back in there...

216. Forget your troubles. Come on, be happy.

217. and stay in there with the door closed.

218. Get the cat off the bed

219. - 'cause it got fleas. - Mike's girlfriend: Wait, it's hurt.

220. It's hurt, Michael.

221. You're gonna be hurt in a minute.

222. Fuck the cat.

223. Well, do they fight all the time like this or not?

224. Who?

225. Mike and his girl?

226. Every night.

227. One time with a bat. Pssh.

228. He hit her with a bat?

229. Remember on the lake?

230. I try to stay outta their business.

231. I just...

232. He told me that she wanted $50 to give to her mother.

233. But she wanted $50 to give to her mother to hold for her

234. so she has enough for an abortion.

235. Mike don't want to have an abortion.

236. That's why he hit her.

237. She's tryin' to be sneaky.

238. All right, lock the door.

239. Lock the door!

240. The first time he hit you, what did you say to him?

241. Mike's girlfriend: That he better never hit me again.

242. He cried and he promised me he'd never hit me again.

243. He did it again and again and again and again.

244. And that's it. I'm not taking no more.

245. He can't beat love out of me

246. 'cause he don't know how to handle love.

247. And what are you gonna do with yourself

248. when you get outta here?

249. Mike's girlfriend: Get rid of this baby.

250. I ain't crazy.

251. Whoever's watchin' this, don't think I'm crazy

252. 'cause I ain't this fuckin' stupid.

253. We've only been going out two months,

254. and I ain't gotta take this shit from him.

255. Over here.

256. Freddie There's nobody here.

257. I'll get the suitcase.

258. Suitcase.

259. Excuse me. Can you take this thing over here?

260. Guess you want to take a picture of what's inside, don't you?

261. - Pass out some money. - So $170's, uh...

262. - $170, $170... - $80... $80...

263. $80, $85, $82.50 apiece.

264. $80.

265. $20, $40, $60, $80.

266. Puttin' away $100 for today.

267. I had $200, now I got $300 saved.

268. Probably be for my bail anyway.

269. Don't pay doin'. I'm serious.

270. I go out and make money, I put it away.

271. It happens all the time.

272. I get busted, gotta use all the money for bail.

273. Ange, if you could wish for one thing,

274. what would you like to have?

275. If there's one thing I could wish for?

276. Yeah.

277. Not no money.

278. To get married,

279. which somebody can't use their brains for.

280. Wait. Oh, you're not really married, married?

281. No.

282. I didn't know.

283. What took you back to the streets, Rob?

284. 'Cause you were doin' good here.

285. Uh, because...

286. It wasn't payin' enough. They wasn't payin' enough.

287. Yeah, but you were doin' good.

288. You had over a grand in the bank.

289. Over a grand in the bank.

290. You were doin' good, Robbie.

291. Now, I ain't got nothin' in the bank.

292. That's what I'm sayin'.

293. - Now, what you're doin'... - Don't pay.

294. you don't have anything.

295. Now what I do, I just make enough money

296. to put gas in my car every day,

297. buy a little food, pay a little bills.

298. - I ain't got no next— - Another thing.

299. You were happier, too, when you worked.

300. You came down here every day

301. and you showed me your bank book

302. and you were happy about it.

303. Of course I was happy.

304. - Yeah, 'cause it was legit. - Because I said,

305. "Sid, I got money, I earned it."

306. That's right. Well, you worked—

307. You know what I was thinkin' about, Sid?

308. If I, like, get some money together just to buy, like,

309. a big hot dog truck just to start me off.

310. How you gonna get the money for that?

311. Got any rich uncles?

312. - Any rich friends? - Nobody.

313. Are you askin' me for the money?

314. You probably don't got it.

315. If you're gonna do right,

316. I'd give you the money.

317. I'd find a way.

318. Boy, this is a nice little town here, Freddie.

319. I know.

320. How come you always go to the suburbs

321. to-to do your robbing?

322. Because they don't have that much security, you know.

323. If, um, anybody chases you, you know,

324. it's easier to get away, you know.

325. There ain't too many people.

326. You know, it's more simple. It's more easier.

327. - Jon: What's this? - R&S Strauss.

328. - Jon: Yeah. - They sell auto parts.

329. It's come off.

330. How many times you been in there?

331. Oh, couldn't even count, so many.

332. I usually park my car right here on the side,

333. leave it like this, leave the keys in there,

334. and go in there and come out.

335. Tell me what you got.

336. I got a burglar alarm to stop thieves.

337. - Jon: That's what you stole? - Yeah.

338. Yeah, I stole a couple of 'em.

339. I got a couple of 'em in the trunk.

340. See, I'm... I've been arrested for stolen cars before.

341. And I, and they givin' out too much time,

342. so I'm tryin' to stop thieves.

343. What is this here, Freddie, on your back? It says what?

344. Perdon madre mia.

345. What's that mean?

346. "Forgive me, mother of mine."

347. Did that when I was a juvenile 'cause I was...

348. I felt sorry, you know, for my mother for...

349. I was always havin' her suffer and whatnot, you know.

350. Yeah?

351. My mother and father got divorced when we were young.

352. They put me in foster home.

353. Some white lady and white man,

354. they were pretty old,

355. they adopted me and my oldest brother Frankie.

356. We lived with those people for about a year.

357. My mother was goin' to court, tryin' to get us back.

358. If I would've stayed there with those rich folks,

359. I wouldn't be here right now, I wouldn't be doin' this.

360. I always think about that.

361. I wish I would've stayed.

362. They would've sent me to college.

363. I would've been a good boy.

364. I would've been, you know...

365. would've made somethin' out my life.

366. Jackie.

367. Jackie, go like this.

368. What are you gonna do if you ever catch your daughter

369. doin' anything bad?

370. - Whip her ass. - Jon: Yeah?

371. She looked at me.

372. - She ain't gonna do nothin' bad. - Did you ever spank him?

373. Yep.

374. You ever beat him up when he did anything bad?

375. Yeah, he got a fork in my arm.

376. - Jon: Huh? - A fork.

377. He stabbed you with a fork?

378. Yeah, I was about five years old.

379. I had a box of toys.

380. This motherfucker takes boxes of toys,

381. throwin' it down the furnace.

382. Why? Why would he throw your toys out?

383. 'Cause he was drunk.

384. - What do you gotta say about that? - I wasn't drunk.

385. You was always drunk.

386. - Jon: Hey, Freddie. - Freddie: Yeah?

387. Where'd everybody go? Where is everybody?

388. My lady left.

389. She left me.

390. She went over her mother's house.

391. Why?

392. I don't know. I guess she got tired of me.

393. Is that a note that she left you?

394. What's it say?

395. I don't know. I think it says, uh...

396. "I'm sorry. I love you." Somethin' like that.

397. I don't know.

398. I just feel down and out. I don't know what to do.

399. I feel like goin' back to drugs.

400. And, um, I feel like killin' myself.

401. I don't know what to do, man.

402. I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.

403. I keep doin' this shit, man.

404. I don't wanna get high

405. because I wanna do good.

406. And I can't do good with problems on my mind.

407. This shit, man.

408. I do wanna straighten out, man.

409. You got anybody you can talk to?

410. Anybody who's not a drug addict, not a thief?

411. All my friends are drug addicts and thieves.

412. Ain't got no straight friends. You know that.

413. I got a girl to take out tonight.

414. It's all right if I take her, Ange?

415. You don't get jealous when he's got other girls...

416. Yeah, I can't say nothin'.

417. - Jon: Why not? - He'd be cursin' me up and down.

418. He was like, "You don't pay rent."

419. Now, you can't say that—

420. I love to have loads of women.

421. What are you gonna do, Ange,

422. if he brings another girl back in here?

423. Yeah, my nerves are gonna go then.

424. - Jon: Do you want to introduce me, Rob? - Yeah.

425. - Hi. - This is my girl.

426. - Jon: Hey. How you doin'? - Deliris.

427. - Jon: Uh-huh. - That's her baby.

428. - Jon: Let me see. - The baby.

429. Hey, hey, hey.

430. - What's up? - Look at the birdy.

431. Let's move.

432. What do you, what do you expect for $300?

433. It's not supposed to start perfect all the time.

434. - Jon: All right. - Later, Jon.

435. I'll see you, guys. Have a nice night.

436. - Same to you. - Jon: You're not takin' me along, huh? Robert.

437. - Huh? - Jon: You're not takin' me along?

438. - You along? - Jon: Yeah.

439. - I wanna be alone. - Jon: Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.

440. - Yeah, I wanna be alone. - All right.

441. - All right, take care. - Jon: We'll see ya.

442. All right.

443. Don't get in too much trouble.

444. No, I stay out of trouble. You know me.

445. All right.

446. As your name is called, please answer, "Here."

447. Thank you.

448. Michael W. McGrath.

449. No answer.

450. I have no idea where Michael McGrath is.

451. I haven't talked to him yet.

452. They gotta find me.

453. They... I'm not...

454. Listen. I put it like this.

455. I don't care if I go to jail, all right?

456. But I'm not gonna go and turn myself in

457. so they can just lock me the fuck up right there.

458. Let 'em find me first. You know what I mean?

459. No appearance. Mr. Prosecutor, do you have a motion?

460. Yes, Your Honor. The State would move

461. for a bench warrant and forfeiture of bail.

462. Very well. Bench warrant will issue

463. for the arrest of Michael W. McGrath,

464. and whatever bail posted will be forfeited.

465. What can I do? It's up to him, not me.

466. But you're gonna lose the money that you put up.

467. How much did you put up? $600?

468. - $750. - Jon: Yeah.

469. $750 I put up.

470. - I don't know. - Jon: Well, did you know

471. that he wasn't gonna show up today?

472. No, I didn't.

473. Had no idea.

474. - Jon: Do you know where he is? - Nope.

475. I don't.

476. That's all the questions you're gettin' outta me.

477. Okay, but he just cost you $750.

478. Yep.

479. Kid wants to go on the run, that's his business, not mine.

480. Yeah.

481. So what are you gonna do?

482. - What am I gonna do? - Jon: Yeah.

483. I don't know.

484. You got half of Newark lookin' for you.

485. - I'll move outta Newark. - Jon: Yeah?

486. I'll move to the half that ain't lookin' for me.

487. Fuck it. Right, Ange?

488. - Jon: You think he's gonna be able to—

489. You think he's gonna be able to keep himself outta jail?

490. Hey, if he does it slick, he will.

491. Plus, I got a car, I got some money, you know.

492. So, I'll be all right. Believe me.

493. I'm gonna make it. They ain't gettin' me.

494. Well, we got all the information that we possibly need

495. to affect an apprehension on our subject.

496. Now, we're just gonna have to go out on the street

497. and get lucky.

498. He's 5'9", 150 pounds.

499. Come on.

500. Mom's gonna help me out?

501. I need it. I gotta get outta here.

502. I gotta get out.

503. I miss it out there.

504. You said they were never gonna catch you.

505. They got lucky.

506. - Freddie: You wanna see? - Jon: What's that?

507. Valium.

508. These pills take all the problems

509. off the mind and shit, you know.

510. So how many pills have you had altogether today?

511. Altoge... uh, 16,

512. plus the two-on-two.

513. So that's 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 pills.

514. And this is only the-the beginning.

515. This defendant has an extensive record.

516. Accordingly, you are hereby sentenced to imprisonment

517. for a term of seven years

518. and hereby committed to the custody of the commissioner

519. of the Department of Corrections

520. and until release in accordance with law.

521. Freddie, they got you.

522. That's what you get for using drugs.

523. Believe me.

524. Everybody out there,

525. everybody, listen to what I'm sayin'.

526. It ain't worth it.

527. This is what I got, and I'm gonna die here.

528. Bye.

529. Getting the anger out.

530. He's messing himself up.

531. He's messin' himself up all the way.

532. Don't shoplift, get a damn job, stay the hell off drugs,

533. and you'll live a better life. Period.

534. You don't wanna listen to that, go ahead and steal,

535. go ahead and do drugs and watch where you be at.

536. And then you'll be like, "I should've listened to Rob."

537. Don't do it.

538. You are here in East Jersey State Prison.

539. It is now the home of Michael McGrath.

540. Can we go in and talk to Mike?

541. No. Since your last filming,

542. Michael no longer wants to participate in this documentary.

543. Is this an easy place to do time?

544. No. Rahway is a very difficult place to serve your time.

545. Hey Mike.

546. The guards say you're gonna be here

547. for a real long time.

548. Yeah.

549. Okay, this is goodbye.

550. - Good luck. - Take care, Jon. All right. You too.

551. Are you gonna make it all right?

552. Yeah, I'll be all right.

553. All right.

554. Welcome to Southern State.

555. This is my home away from my other home.

556. This is my second home right now.

557. What are you in for?

558. Uh, robbery, aggravated assault.

559. I got ten years.

560. This here is my partner in the domino game.

561. - Yeah. - Yeah, we the, we the champs.

562. Fourteen, twenty-six, thirty—

563. Thirty-five.

564. We won the championship two years in a row in Rahway.

565. Anything he can need, he has it here.

566. He has friends he can relate to, recreational, free cable,

567. air conditioning in the summer, heat in the winter time.

568. I don't like it in here because...

569. can't get no, uh, sex.

570. Deliris, I haven't seen you

571. since you were a teenager in Rob's car.

572. How long you been workin' the streets?

573. Around six months.

574. Were you scared the first time you stood out here?

575. Yeah. It's-it's takin' a chance out here.

576. You don't know if there's a cop or not.

577. Thank God up to today I haven't got caught yet.

578. You're scared of the, uh, the customers?

579. Yeah, 'cause you don't know,

580. you really don't know who they are.

581. It could be a maniac.

582. So many stories out here

583. about people killin' people and shit.

584. And then takin' a chance today, too, with the AIDS.

585. Gotta be careful what you do, too.

586. Thank you.

587. This is a bottle of coke.

588. Five-dollar bottle, nickel bottle.

589. That's all to that.

590. How long you been doin' that, Deliris, now?

591. - How long you been shootin'? - For a year and a half.

592. Yeah?

593. And I'm not proud of it neither.

594. I-I hate when I, when I start doin' this shit.

595. Here, hold my cigarette.

596. I'm pickin' out my hair.

597. That's what the drugs make me do.

598. Make me pick my hair.

599. If it ain't my hair, it's my face.

600. Oh, yeah?

601. He knows what I do but not how I do it.

602. Because I never do it in front of them.

603. It's like if I see...

604. fleas or bugs in my fuckin' hair.

605. It's just a habit I got when I get high.

606. Is your mother doing drugs every day now?

607. Hmm. Sometimes.

608. Every day, it gets worse and worse.

609. The kids are really suffering.

610. Mm-hmm.

611. Mr. Steffey, whenever anyone gets paroled,

612. we focus the group on them.

613. So we're gonna focus on you.

614. What are your plans?

615. - Rob: My plans? - For parole.

616. I'm not comin' back.

617. I'm not comin' back for a fact. Okay?

618. To jail or here?

619. To any jail. I'm not comin' back.

620. How many more years you got left?

621. - Inmate 1: Nine. - Nine? How many you got in?

622. One.

623. Fuck outta here. One?

624. Nah, you got more than that.

625. Inmate 2: Man, what you gonna do when you out there?

626. I'm gonna do the right thing.

627. I'm gonna do the right thing.

628. You gonna do the right... What's the right thing then?

629. - Get a job. - What kinda job?

630. Whatever kind I can get.

631. Steff, McDonald's don't pay enough.

632. How you gonna live off McDonald's?

633. I can sell burgers on the side.

634. I'm a waitin'.

635. What you gonna do? Relax?

636. Get high.

637. Go do it.

638. You got any?

639. I'm just afraid she's gonna get some real strong stuff one time and it's...

640. You know what it's gonna do. That bothers me.

641. Rob, you're done with jail.

642. What's up? Jon.

643. Free at last, huh?

644. I gotta go to the bank, man.

645. Get my money.

646. Right here. $878.

647. Can I have, um, some 50s, 10s, and 20s?

648. Thank you.

649. Oh, no. I forgot my motherfuckin' teeth.

650. Fuck that, man. Wait up, wait up, wait up.

651. What, you left your teeth in jail?

652. Yeah. I left it in there.

653. Damn, I gots to get it, man. Nah, nah, nah.

654. - I gots to get my teeth. - Jon: Come on. Don't be embarrassed.

655. Nah, I gotta get my teeth, man.

656. I forgot that shit.

657. You're so anxious to get out you forgot your teeth?

658. Hell, yeah.

659. I would've forget my nuts if I...

660. Hold up, Jon. I got to go back there, man.

661. I forgot my teeth.

662. It's on the table wrapped up.

663. Is there a way you can get it for me, please?

664. Forgot your teeth?

665. Yeah. I forgot my teeth.

666. I got everything except my teeth.

667. Thank you.

668. Shit, I ain't, I ain't took a bus in so long

669. I ain't know where to put the money, you know.

670. 3:10.

671. Here I am...

672. free again.

673. What-what did you do?

674. What did I do to get locked up?

675. Uh...

676. stealin', doin' drugs, um, stolen property.

677. You know, all-all kinds of bullshit.

678. What's up, man?

679. How many more days you got, Fred?

680. Got three more days and, uh, wake up.

681. I leave Monday morning.

682. You gonna make it out there this time?

683. Yeah, I'm gonna try.

684. - Guard: Good. - You know.

685. Whatcha gonna do when you get out there, Freddie?

686. I don't know.

687. Get me, I'm gonna try to get a job,

688. do the right thing, you know.

689. But sometimes that doesn't work, you know, so...

690. Me and Freddie talk a lot about him leavin'

691. and things he's gonna do when he get home.

692. You know, I told him to stay away from drugs.

693. If you stay away from drugs, you'll be all right, you know.

694. That's his main concern.

695. Freddie, you love drugs.

696. I used to.

697. Why is everybody laughin'?

698. I think Freddie's scared to go home though.

699. - Jon: Yeah? - He told me a couple times

700. he was afraid to go home.

701. Yeah, a little bit. I am. Yeah.

702. - Jon: Listen.

703. Listen. For people who don't know who you are,

704. who are you?

705. - My name's Nelly. - Jon: Yeah?

706. Freddie's mother.

707. - Jon: Freddie's mom? - Yeah.

708. When's Freddie comin' back from jail?

709. Monday.

710. Who in the world...

711. Freddie's stepfather.

712. - Jon: Freddie's stepfather? - Nelly: Yeah.

713. And this guy over here

714. with-with a striped shirt, who is that guy?

715. That's my younger son, Raymond.

716. - Jon: That's Raymond? Yeah? - Yeah.

717. - We call Jungo. - Jon: Yeah?

718. Good boy?

719. He's-he's drunk. He's been drinkin' too much.

720. Muncho. Muncho!

721. So what's been happenin'?

722. - How you doin', Rob? - All right.

723. - You got any jobs? - We're kinda slow now.

724. Yeah, I need a job.

725. Yeah. I just outta jail.

726. Why's everything so dead?

727. Look at this.

728. This used to be full with shop orders, right?

729. - Yeah. - What have we got here now?

730. We have one here, another job over here,

731. one, and that's it.

732. Years ago it used to be like, these machines,

733. three machines running at the same time all the time.

734. Look what you have now.

735. Literally one running over there now.

736. - Officer William Lindsay: So how you been? - Rob: I've been all right.

737. Look for work?

738. - Rob: Huh? - Look for work?

739. - Yeah. - Where?

740. I went all over.

741. I'm not gonna look no more.

742. Ain't no jobs out there.

743. And where I'm stayin',

744. they want some rent money

745. or I might have to leave.

746. So if I don't find a job soon,

747. I got no choice but go hustle again.

748. I tried it, no jobs.

749. So if I wind back in... up in jail,

750. I wind up back there.

751. Officer Lindsay: Did I tell you it was easy?

752. No, you didn't say it was easy.

753. Okay. Good.

754. I brought chicken.

755. You got rice?

756. - What is it? - Rob: Chicken.

757. - Chicken? - Rob: Chicken.

758. I hope you know how to cook.

759. - I just made dinner.

760. Well, cook tomorrow.

761. Thank you.

762. Real chicken.

763. What?

764. - Kid 1: What?

765. What? Chicken.

766. Kid 1: No, don't make it.

767. - Oh, God.

768. Kid 2: What is that?

769. Where'd you get a chicken from?

770. It's all right.

771. Hey, guys, we got chicken tonight.

772. That sucker is big!

773. - Rob: How about if I cut the head off? - No!

774. - I'm only cuttin' the head off. - Kid: No!

775. - No! - Rob!

776. Thank you.

777. Muncho...

778. Jungo, what's up?

779. That's enough for me.

780. Well, I gotta tell you.

781. This is a big difference from the reception Rob got.

782. I mean, your family really loves you.

783. I mean, he had nothin' when he got out.

784. Yeah. Well, as you see.

785. Where's Freddie?

786. - What's up, man?

787. What's happening, homes?

788. - About motherfuckin' time. - Yeah.

789. Couple years, huh?

790. - You look good though, homes. - Yeah.

791. Jon, I'm movin' today.

792. - Jon: What do you mean? - Found another place to stay.

793. Yeah, I'm openin' up, man.

794. You know, I open up every morning, you know.

795. Sell some cars, make some green.

796. What are you supposed to do here?

797. - Huh? - Jon: What are you supposed to do?

798. I open up.

799. You know, hang around, sell cars,

800. fix 'em, whatever.

801. There's always work to be done here, you know.

802. Where you livin'?

803. I'm stayin' in the back here.

804. Yeah. Free of cost, you know.

805. Bought me a little jacket here, you know.

806. Look presentable, you know.

807. Like a salesman, you know.

808. You gotta work to make money.

809. What else would I be doin', shopliftin'?

810. How's this car? Good car, right?

811. - Yeah. - You get...

812. How much you get for this? $1,500, right?

813. - $1,800. - Man: $1,800.

814. Eighteen. Let me see if I got it.

815. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

816. Where you off to, Rob?

817. Goin' out a little bit.

818. You know, after you work, you gotta go out a little bit.

819. You can't stay here all night, you know.

820. - Man: Oh, a little bit— - Yeah.

821. Yeah. I gotta get my love back, man.

822. My life ain't complete without it.

823. Oh...

824. - This is Deliris. - Kiky: Hey, Robert.

825. She was my ex-girl.

826. But that was, like, how many years ago?

827. - Thirteen years ago. - Thirteen years ago?

828. You know, and now we got, like, kinda,

829. we got back together and we seein'

830. if we can work it out, you know.

831. These are her kids.

832. Does she look happy with me or what?

833. Maybe it's true love after all.

834. Hello.

835. What you want? What you want?

836. Say thank you for the ice cream.

837. Thank you.

838. - Thank you. - Rob: You're welcome.

839. So what do you think? You like Robert?

840. - Yeah. - Jon: Nice guy?

841. - Yeah. - Jon: Yeah?

842. How about you? Do you like Rob?

843. Yeah.

844. Hey!

845. Hey. Come on now.

846. This is not for the public to see, you know.

847. I don't want to teach nobody my moves, you know.

848. - I do my shit. - You better not.

849. Play with Kiky.

850. Oh, shit.

851. - Jon: Hey Fred. - What's up?

852. Your mother always hang out of the window

853. like this all night long?

854. Yeah. She wants us to go to bed.

855. Once-once we go to bed, she'll go to bed.

856. Really?

857. Yeah, Roseann!

858. Oh, Freddie!

859. - You look good, girl. - So you've been in prison?

860. - Yeah, six years. - I've never been in prison.

861. I know you haven't been to prison.

862. Never. I'm just a dancer.

863. I understand. You look good.

864. I like your voice.

865. I was lookin' at you at the bar, you know.

866. And, you know, I wanted to step to you,

867. but, uh, I didn't wanna, you know...

868. I think you're really cool.

869. I have to go get my tips.

870. Okay. Go take care of business.

871. I ain't seen nothin' like that in prison.

872. Man, there were some fine asses in there.

873. Word.

874. I'm-I'm gonna move him outta here.

875. - Rob: Yeah, I'm comin' with— - Jon: What are you doin'?

876. I'm moving him out of here to my home.

877. - Jon: Are you? - Deliris: Yes.

878. You're gonna move in with Deliris?

879. Yeah. Goin' back up.

880. - Jon: Movin' in, huh? - Rob: Yeah, yeah.

881. You gonna domesticate Rob?

882. I'ma domesticate her.

883. What's been goin' on?

884. What's "domesticate" anyway?

885. What's all these hickeys?

886. Those are love marks and shit.

887. - Jon: Yeah? - Rob: Yeah.

888. Love marks.

889. Come on, son. That's my boy.

890. That's my boy.

891. As his parole officer,

892. I'm going to be looking for anything

893. in the home environment

894. that... might cause a problem for him

895. to be in that particular home.

896. - Freddie: This is my mother. - Officer Neyda Carrillo: Yeah.

897. I seen you comin', I said,

898. "Uh-oh, she's comin' to lock me up."

899. No. So what did you do this weekend?

900. Nothin'. Just hung out around here.

901. I don't wanna get high no more.

902. That-that's out, you know.

903. It's just the problems, you know.

904. You're starting a whole new life.

905. So now you have to learn how to work within the system.

906. Okay.

907. Officer Lindsay: Uh, Mr. Steffey, this is Mr. Turback.

908. He's assistant district parole supervisor.

909. What's different from the last time you were here

910. or the time before?

911. Oh, because the time before,

912. I wasn't using.

913. I was doing good and then I messed up,

914. and then I told you about it.

915. Officer Turback: I think you've made admission to Mr. Lindsay

916. that you were using drugs.

917. Was that cocaine or heroin?

918. Yes, that was the heroin.

919. - Heroin? - Dope.

920. Yeah, yeah. Right.

921. Officer Turback: And when was that?

922. When was the first time?

923. That was a month ago, right, when I came?

924. You tryin' to make sure

925. you're tellin' him the same thing you're tellin' me

926. or are you tryin' to answer his question honestly?

927. Honestly, what?

928. When's the last time you used drugs, Mr. Steffey?

929. Over three weeks ago. About three weeks ago.

930. - Over three weeks ago. - When's the first time you used any drugs?

931. First time? About four weeks or somethin' ago.

932. Officer Lindsay: Why is it that I have a hard time believing you, Rob?

933. Well—

934. You seem to be workin' in your mind,

935. "Well, what did I tell, what did I tell Lindsay?

936. I better tell this guy the same thing."

937. How come, how come I have such a hard time—

938. Remember when I came to see you?

939. Officer Lindsay: I think it's about time we just-just laid it out, Rob.

940. You might as well be asking this ball, Mr. Lindsay,

941. for all the intelligent answers.

942. Well, can you get me help?

943. That's the main problem.

944. Officer Turback: Help is there.

945. Well, I'll accept the help.

946. - You'll accept the help? Huh. - Rob: Right.

947. We're not gonna play with this, Rob.

948. We're gonna try and get you help.

949. If that doesn't work, you will be locked up.

950. - You understand that? - Yeah, I understand.

951. Thank you, Mr. Turback.

952. We're gonna go to the car

953. while you go to the store and buy somethin' to eat. Okay?

954. No, I wanna go with you.

955. To the c... to mommy's car.

956. I wanna go with you.

957. Yeah, but you gotta go get something to eat first.

958. I'll wait for you in the car. Okay?

959. I wanna go with...

960. Go where? I'm not goin'.

961. We're goin' right here.

962. Yvette, I'll be right back.

963. - Deliris: Where we going? - Freddie: Take a right.

964. Now, stop right here like you actin' like you're gonna park.

965. Stop right there. Stop. Where you goin'?

966. - Deliris: Oh, okay. - Freddie: It's too late now.

967. Go ahead. Park, park. Park.

968. In case the police would've came by,

969. they would have seen that you was tryin'

970. to learn how to drive, you know.

971. Poison. Poison used to kill

972. a lot of motherfuckers years ago.

973. I'll be rolling in a minute.

974. I don't give a fuck about money, drugs, or nothin'.

975. The main thing is that I love you and I'm with you.

976. That's the main thing.

977. You don't supposed to be hangin' with people that get high.

978. You don't supposed to be givin' people rides.

979. You said you were gonna stop all that.

980. You're doin' the same shit.

981. - Are you or are you not? - Deliris: No. No.

982. - No? What the fuck you been doin'? - No, not-not like before.

983. - Not like before, Robert. - It's the same shit.

984. No, it's not.

985. You believe when they told you that I slept with him.

986. That's bullshit 'cause he could tell you himself.

987. Take your ass on away from me.

988. I will. If that's what you want, I will.

989. She thinks that she's not doin' anything wrong.

990. My girl's stayin' out till three o'clock with another man?

991. Fuck I look like, a stupid ass or somethin'?

992. Is Mommy lyin' or what?

993. Everything she say is a lie, right?

994. Okay. I believe her.

995. Just got paid.

996. It's Wednesday night.

997. This is from sellin' dope.

998. - Jon: Yeah? - One night's work.

999. Who sold dope? Who-who sold it?

1000. My bitch.

1001. Deliris sold the dope? Yeah.

1002. Where'd you get that money from, Deliris?

1003. Where I got that money from?

1004. She sold some dope. I told you.

1005. No, I don't sell dope.

1006. It's about one o'clock in the mornin', right?

1007. Yeah.

1008. You stay up this late every night, Kiky?

1009. Yeah.

1010. Every night you're up this late?

1011. That's terrible.

1012. Who takes care of you and Chimo when your mother goes off?

1013. Do you have to take care of yourself?

1014. - Chimo: Mom! - Kiky: Huh?

1015. You have to take care of yourself?

1016. Yeah.

1017. Mom.

1018. Where's your mother goin'?

1019. Hey!

1020. He's coming.

1021. Where is she goin'? She goin' to buy somethin'?

1022. Yeah. She went to the, um...

1023. she went to go to Pam.

1024. To Pam?

1025. You know who's Pam?

1026. Uh, to tell you the truth,

1027. I think I know who lives up there.

1028. It's the people that sell D-R-U-G-S.

1029. What?

1030. They sell things up there,

1031. and that's where she's gone.

1032. No.

1033. - Freddie: Come on.

1034. I got 'em, they're all right.

1035. So, Deliris, did you just buy some D-R-U-G-S?

1036. Yeah. We got today and tomorrow.

1037. Get the camera down, Jon.

1038. Keep it down.

1039. I don't want 'em to stop me or nothin' with my fuckin' car.

1040. So now it's almost 2:00 in the morning.

1041. Mommy.

1042. Let's see. It's 3:00 in the morning.

1043. Chimo, you want me to stay here?

1044. Answer me. I can't hear you.

1045. What's that?

1046. Do you want me to stay here?

1047. No.

1048. - Bye, Jon. - Jon: Bye.

1049. Do you want me to go...

1050. - Jon: See ya. - See ya.

1051. What's up, Rob?

1052. Rob. What's up, bud?

1053. I don't wanna talk.

1054. I don't care if she goes fuckin',

1055. I don't care, man.

1056. I don't know, Rob. You pick some of the strangest women.

1057. Like, take me, for instance.

1058. Why don't y'all cheer Rob up?

1059. 'Cause Rob, me and Rob did prison time together.

1060. What's up?

1061. We got Rob out the car now. He's feelin' comfortable.

1062. All right, Rob.

1063. - Rob! - Man: We got Rob...

1064. - Rob: Nah. - Sure?

1065. - I don't— - Man: It's on you, man.

1066. You want a taste, Rob?

1067. - How much money you got? - Rob: You tryin' to tempt me?

1068. - You got some money, Rob? - Rob: Yeah, I got money.

1069. You want a taste?

1070. I wouldn't even do that to you, Rob.

1071. You're strong, man. Stay strong.

1072. - I am. I don't want that shit, period. - Man: Stay strong.

1073. Devil is callin' you, Rob.

1074. "Rob... get me, Rob. Come on, Rob."

1075. It's the devil.

1076. "Rob, you got a pocketful of money, Rob.

1077. Rob, Rob."

1078. You hear him? Get him off your shoulder.

1079. Knock him off, Rob.

1080. You could tempt me all day.

1081. I don't want the shit.

1082. - If he feel like drinkin'-- - But it could be a time

1083. that I want somethin'...

1084. - You know what I mean? - He gonna do it.

1085. Then I'll be "Fuck, I'ma get me a bag."

1086. - And ain't nobody can stop him... - Know what I mean?

1087. 'cause if that's what the man wanna do,

1088. he gonna do it.

1089. "Rob, my blood!"

1090. Do you know Deliris?

1091. Yeah, I know her. Remember her.

1092. Everybody's saying she's my wife now.

1093. I don't know why everybody sayin' that shit.

1094. - Rob: Must be true then. - Freddie: Hey...

1095. Yeah, I know.

1096. So I took Deliris, and I asked her.

1097. I said, "Who got it better, me or Robert?" You know.

1098. And she said me.

1099. She said, "You got it bigger and better."

1100. But you gotta understand, I'm Puerto Rican.

1101. Today is my parole day.

1102. I gotta go see my parole, and my urine is dirty, dirty.

1103. I'm gonna take a bottle of Clorox

1104. and stick my fingers in it, you know.

1105. And when I go and take a urine,

1106. I urinate on my hand.

1107. - Jon: You're dirty? - Yes. You know that.

1108. - Jon: Real dirty? - Real, real dirty.

1109. I can observe the stream.

1110. I can observe what he is putting into the bottle.

1111. If anyone had not flushed before him,

1112. he could not simply,

1113. uh, do what we call a bowl scoop.

1114. - Jon: A what? - A bowl scoop.

1115. Yeah. Scoop it out the bowl from under here.

1116. Are you serious?

1117. The bowl scoop is not the right temperature.

1118. After so many years of taking urine samples

1119. and handling them, you get to know

1120. what temperature they're supposed to feel like

1121. in the palm of your hand.

1122. You know, and...

1123. You know what's kosher and what's not.

1124. Basically, yeah.

1125. Oh, wow.

1126. But it's better than nothing, Freddie.

1127. I'm so proud of you

1128. and how hard you tried to do this.

1129. It shows... it shows that you are really tryin' hard here

1130. to prove to us that you're not doin'

1131. anything out there in those streets.

1132. And if this comes back positive,

1133. you're in trouble!

1134. Your goose is cooked, hon.

1135. Don't worry, it won't.

1136. I know it won't.

1137. I know it won't. I'm betting on it.

1138. It was like 80% Clorox and 20% urine.

1139. Now jump the fuck in before I knock you the fuck down.

1140. - Come on. Get in. - Jon: All right.

1141. What, you got business to take care of?

1142. - Yes, I want— - Jon: You're gonna get high probably.

1143. Yeah. I'm gonna go get me a bag of dope, man,

1144. after all that.

1145. Get me a couple bags of dope.

1146. Get in the fuckin' car.

1147. Oh...

1148. Get the fuck in the... Get in the car.

1149. Where they goin'? They still okay or what?

1150. - Shut up! - Freddie: Shut up!

1151. - Jesus Christ. - Deliris: Chimo.

1152. Come on, Kik, I mean...

1153. We're just gonna come right back, all right?

1154. Mom, I wanna buy...

1155. Go ahead.

1156. - Real quick before the kids get back. - Deliris: Yeah.

1157. Yo. What's up, bro?

1158. Yeah, I'm motherfuckin' gettin'

1159. drunker than a motherfucker.

1160. I ain't did no drugs yet.

1161. And I hope I stay like that.

1162. - You know, I'm havin' a good time— - I hope you stay like that, too.

1163. Oh, of course.

1164. You know, I'm havin' a good time fuckin' drinking.

1165. But once you've been, like, addicted to drugs,

1166. after you drink,

1167. that shit makes you wanna do the drugs

1168. that you want. You know what I'm sayin'?

1169. Well, are you, are you learning from your mistakes?

1170. Oh, I learned.

1171. But still, the force of drugs is so powerful.

1172. It make you wanna go back.

1173. You know what I'm sayin'?

1174. Man, just learn from your mistakes, bro.

1175. Yeah.

1176. Man 1: You'll get there. You'll get there.

1177. Man 2: Butch, what's up, man?

1178. Man 1: What's up, man?

1179. Gonna go get a AIDS test.

1180. How long's it take before you get the result?

1181. Three weeks.

1182. Probably be dead by then, right?

1183. Have you done this before other places?

1184. No.

1185. I'm gonna tie you up and see what's going on.

1186. When the results come in,

1187. who's gonna tell me, you?

1188. - I am. - Good.

1189. Hurts still?

1190. Freddie, your life in a bottle here.

1191. Yeah, right?

1192. - Jon: Kiky. - Kiky: What?

1193. That's dangerous, your brother sittin' there

1194. right at the window.

1195. Chimo, get off the window.

1196. They're abusive. They are very abusive.

1197. The fact of the matter is that—

1198. Oh, that's that asshole.

1199. Yeah.

1200. Came to find out the results of my tests.

1201. Nurse 1: Okay.

1202. Nurse 2: Okay. You have your card?

1203. Yes.

1204. I'm scared.

1205. Everybody's dyin'.

1206. One or two people left that I used to run with.

1207. And they're on their way out.

1208. - Nurse: You all right? - Freddie: Yeah.

1209. Okay.

1210. Your results came back reactive.

1211. Basically, what that means

1212. is that you have been exposed to HIV.

1213. How you doin'?

1214. It's okay. It's all right.

1215. Turn around.

1216. - You don't remember my face, do you? - No.

1217. And you got a little run out your nose, too, okay?

1218. - That's 'cause you— - I... Of course. I got a cold.

1219. - I'm freezin', man. - Officer: It's not that cold out here, okay?

1220. It's not that cold. Your no...

1221. your nose is runny, your mouth is dry.

1222. Listen, you're talkin' to me, all right?

1223. You ain't talkin' to somebody else on the streets, okay?

1224. I know what you do, whatever.

1225. What I'm gonna advise you now

1226. is to stay away from these areas.

1227. - 'Cause if I catch you again tonight— - I am gonna stay away, man.

1228. Listen to me. I'm talking to you.

1229. If I catch you again tonight,

1230. you know what I'm gonna have to do, right?

1231. Okay, I gotta do what I gotta do

1232. and lock you up for obstructing a public passage.

1233. I can't leave you out here

1234. 'cause you're gonna get yourself hurt.

1235. You're gonna get shot by these jokers over here, okay?

1236. - All right. - Okay?

1237. 'Cause you know they'll shoot you in a heartbeat 'cause you're white.

1238. You don't belong around here, all right?

1239. Plain and simple.

1240. He's the kinda guy that one day

1241. we're gonna catch him somewhere dead.

1242. Which is a shame 'cause he's actually,

1243. you know, I'm not gonna judge him,

1244. but he doesn't seem like a bad guy.

1245. But he's hooked on that stuff.

1246. And he'll go anywhere and he'll do anything

1247. to catch his drug, to get his drugs.

1248. - Deliris: Eight plus one? - Chimo: Nine.

1249. Four minus two?

1250. Two.

1251. Do me a favor.

1252. Look through that window and check if...

1253. Remember Jose?

1254. Jose!

1255. My aunt said hold on and she'll be down in a few minutes.

1256. Every time she's clean,

1257. he's right, he's right there,

1258. she goes right back in.

1259. See you in a few days.

1260. I don't know what to say, but, um,

1261. my heart is full of love with her.

1262. And I wanna know.

1263. I know that we love you,

1264. but we don't know how much you love us.

1265. Oh, I love you. I love you all.

1266. If you love us all, why you not doing so good for us?

1267. We want you to come back, but you never try.

1268. I will.

1269. If you love us so much,

1270. why your hand is halfway on the door?

1271. 'Cause, uh, I'm ready to go outside.

1272. I'm getting hot. I'll see y'all tomorrow.

1273. Good night, Charlie.

1274. Good night.

1275. If you wanna kill yourself,

1276. easy way out.

1277. I really wish my life was different.

1278. We're here on sentence day,

1279. State of New Jersey versus Wilfredo Rodriguez.

1280. Count one of first-degree armed robbery.

1281. Count two of fourth-degree possession of an imitation firearm.

1282. Judge, this is, um, a person

1283. who's been afforded every opportunity

1284. within the criminal justice system.

1285. And at a certain point, it's just time to, uh,

1286. warehouse this type of individual.

1287. Gonna commit Mr. Rodriguez

1288. to the custody of the commissioner

1289. for 15 years in prison,

1290. that sentence to run concurrent to any violation of parole

1291. that may be imposed as a result of this sentence.

1292. Okay, good luck to you, Mr. Rodriguez.

1293. Oh!

1294. Oh, shit.

1295. Get me up.

1296. Oh, you's a heavy fuck.

1297. Should've took me off faster, you know.

1298. Now, it gets hard, right, Burt?

1299. - Thanks, my brother. - Burt: No problem.

1300. My Nu... Nubian brother.

1301. Robbie, you had a little too much.

1302. Come on, get yourself together, man,

1303. before you fall again.

1304. Get up, man. Come on, yo.

1305. That's what drugs do, see?

1306. Have you nodding and falling, man.

1307. Rob?

1308. How many bags you did today?

1309. Huh, Rob?

1310. Rob?

1311. Yo?

1312. Rob?

1313. Well, I suggest for people that doin' drugs, man,

1314. look at the place where Rob is at

1315. and look at Rob right here

1316. and his condition of being on drugs, man.

1317. He don't straighten up himself,

1318. this is where he's gonna die at.

1319. That's where you gonna find him dead at,

1320. right at this house right here.

1321. This abandoned building.

1322. - Hey, Jon. - Jon: Freddie!

1323. - What's up, buddy? - Jon: Freddie, how are you—

1324. It's been seven long years.

1325. What is this place?

1326. This is Riverfront State Prison.

1327. Yeah?

1328. This has been my view for the past seven years.

1329. You know what I'm sayin'?

1330. And, um, I got one more to go.

1331. But hopefully, I'll be in a halfway house

1332. and I won't have to see these wires

1333. and these barbed wires anymore.

1334. You ever think about escaping?

1335. I mean, you could swim right across the river.

1336. Nah, nah.

1337. I'm not thinking about escaping.

1338. - Jon: Yeah. - It's not for me.

1339. Too old to be runnin', you know.

1340. Now, I'm gonna, I want to show you,

1341. I want, I wanna show you, um...

1342. what, um...

1343. helps me stay clean.

1344. Right there.

1345. My daughter, my son.

1346. I haven't seen 'em in about seven,

1347. six to seven years now.

1348. Hey, Jon, what's up?

1349. - What's happenin'? - Jon: How long's it been?

1350. Um, this'll be 28 months... this month.

1351. Two years, four months.

1352. Tell me what you were locked up for?

1353. I was locked up for robbery,

1354. second-degree robbery.

1355. You look good.

1356. Look like you've been eatin'.

1357. Yeah, I've been eatin'.

1358. Exercising.

1359. Exercising every day. Joggin'.

1360. See, this, like, people...

1361. some people need to get locked up

1362. but not for a short period of time.

1363. Well, I think you were a good candidate for that

1364. because you were basically gonna die

1365. - unless you went to jail. - Yeah. Yeah.

1366. These were the track marks from where I was shooting up at.

1367. Yep.

1368. So now look where we all wind up

1369. and it's all because of the drugs.

1370. All because of the drugs.

1371. Rob was locked up.

1372. I'm locked up.

1373. Freddie's locked up.

1374. And it all got to do with drugs.

1375. Drugs don't bring nothin'. They just gonna kill you.

1376. They almost killed me.

1377. Thank God I'm here.

1378. I thank God I'm here today.

1379. Step through here.

1380. All right, kids, is you ready to visit your mother?

1381. What's your name, Kiky, Kimo... Chimo?

1382. Every day I pray at night

1383. to see if I could see you to come out.

1384. Keep prayin', because I'm praying, too.

1385. That's the only thing that will help us,

1386. is the Lord to hear our prayer, that's it.

1387. You doin' good in school?

1388. - You're not doin'-- - Kiky: Straight C's.

1389. - Deliris: Huh? - Straight C's.

1390. C's?

1391. What happened to the A's and B's?

1392. I don't know.

1393. Wait till I come out.

1394. Things will start getting better.

1395. Remember that paper I gave you

1396. that said you were in my heart and my soul?

1397. I still love you that way.

1398. - Deliris: I love you, too. - All right.

1399. I want her to stay so she could get more clean and stuff,

1400. but I still want her to be there for me.

1401. - Jon: But she never has been. - No.

1402. Only when I was small.

1403. And now, what do you think's gonna happen to you?

1404. To me? I don't really know.

1405. I know I'll stay in school and stuff.

1406. Never use drugs.

1407. When someone ask me somebody,

1408. uh, smokin' and stuff, I'll say no.

1409. I'll walk away.

1410. And I know what's gonna happen.

1411. You think you're gonna have a good future?

1412. Hmm. Yeah.

1413. And I know I try to keep it bright, too.

1414. This is a therapeutic community drug— drug program.

1415. - Bunch of people havin' meetings... - Jon: Yeah.

1416. and, um, tryin' to stay away from drugs.

1417. I've been drug free for a while now, and I—

1418. How long?

1419. Uh... about a year, I'll say.

1420. Ten months to a year.

1421. So for the first four years in jail...

1422. I was getting high just about every day.

1423. Yeah?

1424. I, um, take computer class in mornings here.

1425. This is my teacher, Miss Dartash.

1426. - Hi. - Jon: Hi, how are you?

1427. Good morning. Good morning.

1428. As you can see, I've been gettin' 100s.

1429. Got 100 for this one, 100 for this one.

1430. Sometimes I, um, get 90s. 96, 98.

1431. But I try to keep my 100s.

1432. Hey, Rob. You're out?

1433. What's up?

1434. What are you supposed to do—

1435. I gotta go to the parole board now

1436. and see what they want me to do.

1437. Officer Kevin Mahoney: Hi, I'm Mr. Mahoney.

1438. I'm gonna be your parole officer

1439. while you're out here on the street.

1440. Right.

1441. And I see you're new to Trenton.

1442. - Rob: Right. I'm new. - Okay.

1443. - You've been through this before. - Yeah.

1444. Officer Mahoney: How do you think you're gonna make out this time?

1445. - Good. Yeah. - Officer Mahoney: You think so?

1446. I'm determined to do good this time.

1447. - Officer Mahoney: Your drug was heroin, right? - Yeah.

1448. That's a real tough thing to kick.

1449. Yeah.

1450. They wanna saturate you with supervision

1451. - for the first couple months, okay? - That's all right.

1452. To kinda get you steerin' towards the right direction.

1453. - That's good. - So if there's any kinda slip-ups,

1454. everything could be picked up right away.

1455. So we go through the '80s with some shoplifting,

1456. receiving stolen property.

1457. All this is related to your addiction.

1458. See, this is the criminal mind, too.

1459. You got about seven, eight date of births

1460. and seven, eight, maybe more Social Security numbers.

1461. Antoine Boustany, Robert Hansen, Robert Medina.

1462. Do you ever get parolees

1463. that really wanna straighten up

1464. and that, you know, and, you know,

1465. - and they do good? - A lot of guys.

1466. With big records like me?

1467. We have a lot of guys... It's possible.

1468. You know where I could cash this at?

1469. - I ain't got no ID. - Officer Mahoney: Okay.

1470. Robert Medina.

1471. I got you as Robert Steffey.

1472. And I'm saying if this was for Robert Steffey,

1473. I could take you to the bank and—

1474. See what happens when you use fake names?

1475. Officer Mahoney: Yeah, jeez.

1476. I'll get it cashed. Don't matter.

1477. - There you go.

1478. - All right. See you Monday. - Rob: Thank you.

1479. - Rob: All right. - Officer Mahoney: Probably be out

1480. sometime this week to see you, too.

1481. - All right. - Rob: Okay.

1482. - Good luck. - Rob: All right.

1483. - Freddie: Thanks. - All right.

1484. Take it easy.

1485. - Freddie: Thank you. - All right.

1486. Don't forget your cart.

1487. This is my property.

1488. My clothes, my cigarettes and stuff like that.

1489. Sorry.

1490. Freddie, what are all these pills for?

1491. It's my medication for my HIV.

1492. Give me all this medication.

1493. I've been had this medication.

1494. I was supposed to have been takin' it.

1495. - I haven't been takin' it. - Jon: Why not?

1496. Because the doctor told me it was gonna give me

1497. a false positive for marijuana.

1498. And since they take my urine so much,

1499. I was afraid that it was gonna come back positive

1500. and they was gonna send me back to prison.

1501. So I stopped takin' my medication for that reason.

1502. You mean you had to between your health and your freedom?

1503. Correct. And I did what I had to do

1504. because what was I gonna do, get sent back to prison?

1505. Come on. I've had enough of prison.

1506. Mr. Morrison.

1507. - Take care of yourself. - Thank you for everything.

1508. - All right. - Thank you so much, sir.

1509. - Peace. - Yep.

1510. - Thank you again. - Mr. You're welcome.

1511. Ten years.

1512. Freedom!

1513. Officer Mahoney: Comin' over to Eckerd's here.

1514. This is where Bob's been working for the last couple months.

1515. He's a stock person.

1516. He's working his way up to general manager.

1517. - Jon: You serious? - Yeah.

1518. He's actually working, legitimate work,

1519. making legitimate money.

1520. And he's, uh,

1521. you can see for yourself when we come in.

1522. Hey, Bob.

1523. - Mr. Mahoney, what's up? - How you doin'?

1524. Are you going to your meetings?

1525. - You haven't been using any drugs? - Rob: Nope.

1526. Officer Mahoney: What kinda work you doin' here?

1527. I stock the shelves.

1528. - I help customers. - Mm-hmm.

1529. You know, when we have, like, items that's on sale,

1530. I mark 'em down.

1531. When you were the different Rob,

1532. you were out kinda rippin' stores off.

1533. Yeah, I used to come to the stores and shoplift.

1534. - And shoplift. - I used to take the stuff off the shelves.

1535. Now, I'm loadin' it back up.

1536. All right. How long you been sober?

1537. And, uh, how long you been straight the last—

1538. Uh, sober? Like 29 months.

1539. - Officer Mahoney: That's it. - Twenty-nine months altogether,

1540. in jail and I got out, you know.

1541. Twenty-seven months, like,

1542. three months on the street.

1543. - Officer Mahoney: Yeah. - Yeah.

1544. Officer Mahoney: It's happened. I've seen transformations before,

1545. - but, again... - I don't believe in myself.

1546. it's a couple months.

1547. I don't believe in myself.

1548. Officer Mahoney: It's a couple months. It's a start.

1549. Once, you know, you take,

1550. as your program says, one day at a time.

1551. - And that's what you do— - There's things in here

1552. that I could steal,

1553. and they wouldn't even know about it.

1554. But I don't want to do that 'cause these people,

1555. because these people trusted me and gave me a job.

1556. A lot of people went through

1557. a lot of trouble to get me a job.

1558. You know what I mean? And help me.

1559. And why am I gonna mess that up?

1560. Officer John Larkin: They're ready for you.

1561. Miss Shafran is gonna be your permanent parole officer,

1562. but she's gonna be out

1563. for the next week and a half or so.

1564. In the meantime, I'm gonna...

1565. I'm gonna supervise you.

1566. My name, Larkin.

1567. On the back, that's my direct line.

1568. - Freddie: Okay. - Okay?

1569. We both have voice mail.

1570. So if you need to contact us,

1571. there's no excuse why you can't leave a message, all right?

1572. - How long you been away? - Ten years.

1573. - Officer Larkin: Ten straight? - Yeah.

1574. All right.

1575. Tats, tattoos, scars, marks.

1576. Chest, back, arms.

1577. Take off the shirt.

1578. Man, parole was kinda strict today.

1579. Deliris, you're back. Where you been?

1580. Alone.

1581. Just came out the rehab

1582. after being there for three months.

1583. Thank God.

1584. - Jon: You're clean? - I'm clean for three months.

1585. Thank God. I don't have to wake up sick no more.

1586. I don't have to go crazy looking for my drug no more.

1587. When she walked back in

1588. and you saw her lookin' like this,

1589. were you surprised?

1590. - Chimo and Kiky: Yeah. - Jon: Huh?

1591. - Yeah. - Jon: Why?

1592. Because she got fatter.

1593. Just like that. See what I'm saying?

1594. Today is your day. It's your game.

1595. If you choose to do good,

1596. then you're gonna do good.

1597. If you choose to get up there

1598. and get nervous and get scared,

1599. then you're gonna make a bad choice

1600. because you're not gonna do your best.

1601. Always do your best.

1602. No matter what you do in life, do your best.

1603. Come on, Kiky!

1604. Stay relaxed. Stay relaxed.

1605. Ow.

1606. Don't let other people get you upset.

1607. Don't get nervous,

1608. and don't be worryin' about you're gonna hit,

1609. hit the batter.

1610. Because your concentration is just

1611. throwing to the catcher's glove.

1612. Swing at it.

1613. Come on, come on.

1614. One, two, three!

1615. Cardinals!

1616. Today, Kiky gets the game ball.

1617. We're gonna get the whole team to sign it.

1618. - Jon: Yeah. - Coach: Okay?

1619. Mom.

1620. What are we doing?

1621. Protection. You never know.

1622. I don't work in Neverland.

1623. Officer Morano: 7-1-6 and 7-5-4. 10-6 to 2-74.

1624. Johnson Avenue, Newark.

1625. Officer Larkin: How you doin'?

1626. Hi, little guy.

1627. John.

1628. Officer Larkin: How you doin'? How you doin', Freddie?

1629. - Freddie: Hey, Mr. Larkin. - Officer Larkin: What's up?

1630. Hi, how are you?

1631. How's everything? Hello, sir.

1632. How you doin'? How you doin'? How you doin'?

1633. Well, how many people are here?

1634. I mean, is this all pe... like, in the kitchen—

1635. No, no, no. My father just came over.

1636. Okay. But besides the people in the kitchen here

1637. and all the kids, is that, is that everybody in the house?

1638. Or are there people upstairs?

1639. I'm just asking outta curiosity.

1640. Just my brother's upstairs.

1641. First thing, I need a urine from you.

1642. Okay? Bathroom around here?

1643. Uh, let's go upstairs.

1644. Officer Larkin: You got it.

1645. How you doin'? Hi.

1646. I'm Officer Larkin. I'm his new PO.

1647. That's my sister and my brother-in-law.

1648. Officer Larkin: How you doin', guys?

1649. - After you. Huh? - Man: Good luck.

1650. Officer Larkin: Let me ask you, Freddie. How bad is it at the house?

1651. What do they use? Heroin?

1652. I honestly don't know.

1653. I think they're smokin', but I'm not sure.

1654. - Because— - Officer Larkin: Smokin' what? Crack? Weed?

1655. I would think. You know, I've been away for a lot of years.

1656. I don't really know too much about that stuff

1657. and how you act.

1658. I think the best step for you is to get out of that house.

1659. You wanna stay away from chaos?

1660. I think you should get outta Johnson Ave.

1661. Okay.

1662. I would recommend this place on Hunterdon Street.

1663. Four hundred and sixty dollars a month.

1664. Right here. That's the house.

1665. - You John? - John: Yeah.

1666. Officer Larkin: How you doin', John? I'm Officer Larkin.

1667. - This is Officer Morano. - Officer Morano: How you doin'?

1668. - All right. - Officer Larkin: This is Freddie.

1669. Freddie's a possible renter.

1670. - Check it out. - Bedroom.

1671. This is the bathroom.

1672. Officer Larkin: You ever been on your own?

1673. Without family around?

1674. - Just your own place? - No.

1675. If you decide you can't take this place,

1676. you're either going to a hotel

1677. for however long it takes you to find a place.

1678. You're not goin' back to Johnson Ave.

1679. I don't feel, I don't feel comfortable here honestly.

1680. You don't feel comfortable?

1681. No.

1682. Officer Larkin: Well, then you-you-you're mandated,

1683. I'm mandatin' you to stay at that hotel.

1684. I don't care if you go through all your savings.

1685. Hotel concierge: So the total will be for two nights is...

1686. $246.38.

1687. - And that's the cheapest you have? - Yes.

1688. - Freddie: I don't know how you do this. - Officer Larkin: Arrow down.

1689. - Officer Morano: See which way the arrow is? - Freddie: Yeah.

1690. - Officer Morano: Like that.

1691. - Officer Larkin: Go ahead. - Officer Morano: That's your key.

1692. Okay, that's better, this is better than the dump.

1693. Officer Larkin: Little bit better?

1694. Yeah, right? Not too shabby.

1695. I wish I could, um, stay here.

1696. Well, if you wanna pay $3,000 a month.

1697. I don't even make that much.

1698. If I find you laying your head at Johnson Avenue,

1699. you could go back to prison.

1700. Keep that in mind.

1701. It's a nice place, but...

1702. and I wish I could stay here, but...

1703. it's not possible.

1704. I don't make the money to stay here.

1705. Deliris, introduce me to your friends.

1706. - Hi. - This is Tanya and Celeste.

1707. - Jon: Uh-huh. - How are you?

1708. How are you? Nice to see you.

1709. What type of drugs you been takin'?

1710. Heroin and cocaine.

1711. - Jon: Yeah? How about you? - Yeah, same thing.

1712. Where you gonna take 'em, Deliris?

1713. Where can they go to get cleaned up?

1714. I was gonna take 'em to Secaucus, where I went to,

1715. 'cause they have eight programs out there.

1716. But I heard that they're closing that program down 'cause of tax cuts.

1717. - Yeah, I heard that, too. - Jon: And it's hard to get people in, right?

1718. It's hard to get a bed.

1719. - Come on. - Let's go.

1720. I figure if I can do it, y'all could do it, too.

1721. Yeah, I could do it.

1722. I have two girls that would like to go into the program.

1723. Okay, I spoke to... Excuse me, Chimo.

1724. I spoke to the guy where I went to.

1725. And he said that there ain't no beds right now.

1726. But he's gonna try to get in contact with...

1727. 'cause he's on lunch, off the campus.

1728. What he's gonna try to do is talk to the guy

1729. so they could take ya preadmission through the phone.

1730. And once they do that, he'll let ya know

1731. before he finish talkin' to ya

1732. if he could squeeze ya in a bed for this weekend.

1733. Why are you cryin'?

1734. I wanna go.

1735. We're gonna try through all corners.

1736. - I ain't gonna give up. - 'Cause I know, I know the feeling.

1737. And I know what y'all goin' through.

1738. And I know how it is when you get sick and tired

1739. of being sick and tired.

1740. So we just gotta keep trying.

1741. This is my friend Evelyn.

1742. She needs someone to help her get into a detox.

1743. I told her that I'm gonna see what I can do.

1744. You know, and she, and she's willing to accept the help, right?

1745. Yes, I am.

1746. What type of drugs are you using?

1747. - Heroin. - Jon: Huh?

1748. - Heroin. - Jon: Oh, yeah?

1749. - Rob: What else? - Crack.

1750. Yeah.

1751. How do you get the money?

1752. Prostitution.

1753. Just like Deliris.

1754. But maybe she's smart enough to stop the shit.

1755. So how long you been addicted?

1756. Almost six years now, on and off.

1757. Yeah?

1758. It's about helping people now.

1759. I done went to the jail in Trenton, spoke.

1760. I went to the youth house and spoke.

1761. Yeah, I went to Bo Robinson's.

1762. There were like 200 inmates I spoke.

1763. We're gonna go see my children.

1764. Fifteen years, I've seen 'em a couple times in between.

1765. I really don't know them.

1766. And, uh, I'm goin' upstairs to see 'em now.

1767. I feel nervous. I feel scared. I don't know.

1768. Look, it's a snowman.

1769. - Kids: Who is it? - It's Freddie.

1770. Oh, my God. What's up?

1771. Oh, my God.

1772. Oh, my God. How you been?

1773. I wanna...

1774. hang out with y'all as much as I can.

1775. Well, you know we live in New York, so...

1776. I know, and that's the problem

1777. because I can't travel to New York.

1778. - Yeah. - Well, right now, you know.

1779. Maybe in the near future

1780. when they take these restrictions off me.

1781. We're goin' to DrJays?

1782. What you need, Freddie?

1783. I don't need nothin', my brother.

1784. - They construction, right? - Yeah.

1785. Yeah. I like these pants. These are hot.

1786. I like these right here a lot.

1787. I'm gonna look at the hats again.

1788. I feel comfortable.

1789. I thought I would feel uncomfortable, but...

1790. I do. I feel very comfortable around you.

1791. Do you?

1792. You feel comfortable around me?

1793. No. Nah, I do.

1794. But not-not-not completely.

1795. I feel it still, you know.

1796. That's messed up.

1797. - Blow out the candles.

1798. Thank you.

1799. Blow out the candles.

1800. - Make a wish. - Enjoy.

1801. This has been one of the best days of my life.

1802. Uh, 'cause I haven't seen you in a long time, and...

1803. and you come back, and I'm happy,

1804. and it seems like you never even left.

1805. And I wanna thank you so much.

1806. I love you so much!

1807. You're makin' me all mushy.

1808. How many drug pushers do we have in the courtyard?

1809. Like ten.

1810. How in the world is Deliris gonna be able to stay clean

1811. when there is a lot of people out here

1812. who are gonna help her out

1813. if she wants to do the wrong thing?

1814. All it is out here, man.

1815. Niggas just be sellin' it, man.

1816. They don't give a fuck about a damn thing.

1817. They're makin' at least $2,000-$3,000 a day.

1818. Absolutely.

1819. Outta six dealers, each one of 'em can make that much a day.

1820. - Man: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Jon: Whoa.

1821. How long does it take you to make that much money?

1822. About-about a half hour.

1823. - Jon: For real? - Man: Yeah.

1824. You know how much money they made with me?

1825. I don't know, Deliris. I mean, if we look around here,

1826. you're almost surrounded.

1827. Right? How do you feel sometimes?

1828. - Tempted. - Jon: Yeah.

1829. It's all about survivin', man.

1830. And she gotta be strong for herself.

1831. You gotta be within your own self.

1832. That's it.

1833. Right now, if you ain't strong enough, man,

1834. you ain't gonna survive our here, man.

1835. I gotta get away from here.

1836. 'Cause I know them all.

1837. I know who to get it from and who not to get it from.

1838. Yeah.

1839. And I know if I go ask 'em,

1840. if I, if I was to have the money,

1841. they'll give it to me right there.

1842. They don't care.

1843. All right. Let's get outta here, Deliris.

1844. Yes.

1845. I broke up with my girl.

1846. Well, yeah, she left.

1847. You know, 'cause we argue every day.

1848. Anyway.

1849. Hello, Mr. Mahoney?

1850. Yeah, this is Rob. I gotta speak to you.

1851. Can you come over the house?

1852. - Okay, bye.

1853. He said he'll see me in a bit.

1854. - Jon: Who? - Rob: My parole officer.

1855. Why?

1856. Because I wanna tell him what happened, you know.

1857. You know, 'cause it's shit like that,

1858. that, you know,

1859. makes people do drugs.

1860. You broke up with your woman. It happens all the time.

1861. Now, you gotta learn how to deal with it

1862. without goin' back to your drugs, your alcohol,

1863. or doing your crap that you did before.

1864. And I'm glad you contacted me 'cause that's important.

1865. You know, you let me know what's goin' on,

1866. I'll come over, make sure everything's—

1867. At first, I thought it was nothin'.

1868. Why should I tell you, it's nothin', but—

1869. - Yeah, but— - That is somethin' 'cause that could make me use.

1870. Yeah. Somethin' on your mind.

1871. You're hooked up with somebody,

1872. and all of a sudden it ends.

1873. You know, you get thinkin'.

1874. But, you know, give it a couple days,

1875. see how you feel.

1876. That said, maybe you guys go back,

1877. maybe you won't.

1878. But if you don't, then you just move on

1879. and just continue the way you've been livin',

1880. which has been, uh, clean and sober.

1881. And, uh, you've been on the right track.

1882. - Are you Freddie? - Freddie: Yes.

1883. Officer Raquel Shafran: Freddie? Wilfredo? What?

1884. - Freddie: Freddie. - Officer Shafran: Okay. Come in.

1885. How's your health?

1886. I mean, here he had that you didn't feel well.

1887. I don't feel well.

1888. I'm goin' through a lot of pain every night.

1889. Starts like...

1890. 4:00 or 5:00, 5 o'clock in the evening.

1891. Cramps, stomach.

1892. - My son... - Mm-hmm.

1893. he's going to this thing called the Twilight,

1894. - school at night... - Okay.

1895. because he got caught with a gun or robbery,

1896. - some store. Okay? - Okay.

1897. And they don't teach him nothin'.

1898. And I wanted to know if you can give me permission

1899. to go to Newburgh, New York,

1900. so I can go to the school

1901. and see if I can arrange it

1902. so I can get him back in regular school.

1903. Principal So I'll be right there.

1904. You heard him. There you go. He'll be in a second.

1905. Mr. Rodriguez, how you doin'?

1906. Martin LaMaza, principal.

1907. Wilfredo.

1908. We're gonna go over to the office on this side

1909. and we'll cover the material that we're gonna discuss.

1910. Excuse me, sir.

1911. Just go through, uh...

1912. Give me just a little bit of, uh,

1913. of background on the fact that you,

1914. you haven't been with-with Wilfredo for a while.

1915. And now, you're here to help us out.

1916. Well, ten years ago, I committed a crime,

1917. armed robbery, to be exact.

1918. And, um, I went to prison for ten years.

1919. So when I, like, left my son, he was, like,

1920. real small at the time.

1921. And, um...

1922. I actually didn't see him

1923. till, like, now, you know.

1924. So I really didn't, didn't raise him.

1925. But, um, I spent ten years in prison,

1926. so I kinda, like, know what prison's like.

1927. And I got out, and I don't want him

1928. to take the same route I took

1929. and end up in the same place where I ended up at.

1930. So, Deliris, clean or not clean?

1931. Clean.

1932. Guarantee? Look me, look me in the eye. Look.

1933. - Clean? - Clean.

1934. I swear to God I seen her shoot up.

1935. You and the Black guy.

1936. You went first and he went second.

1937. She did it in her right arm.

1938. You got that? Let's see the sleeve, Deliris.

1939. - Let's see. - Deliris: Hmm?

1940. Right arm. Let's see the right arm, Deliris.

1941. Wait till we get around the corner.

1942. Yeah, she's high right now.

1943. Man, can't you look at a person eyes

1944. and tell when their pupils are dilated and stuff like that?

1945. She's high for real.

1946. I wanna see your right arm.

1947. It was from a blood test.

1948. Oh, let me see.

1949. Let me see your left arm.

1950. Let's see your left arm.

1951. What's that over there? Move it this way.

1952. - Deliris: Tape. - No, this right here.

1953. What's this right here?

1954. Oh, that's been there.

1955. Deliris, they know what track marks are?

1956. Yeah. I used to have 'em.

1957. If you do drugs one more time,

1958. I can't live with you.

1959. So you have to do this,

1960. go back on drugs or don't be with me.

1961. Bingo.

1962. This is what kills you, fuckin' drugs.

1963. Rob?

1964. - Yeah? - Jon: What's happenin'? What—

1965. The store is closin'.

1966. It should be closed on the 15th,

1967. but they'll probably close a lot sooner

1968. because they're running out of merchandise.

1969. What about your job?

1970. I don't know. I don't know if they're gonna keep me or not.

1971. I gotta talk to the manager when she comes.

1972. She'll be here in about an hour or somethin'.

1973. Jesus Christ. Wow, look at this.

1974. Then I'm gonna have to go look for another job, right?

1975. - No. - No?

1976. We'll keep you here.

1977. And then when this store closes,

1978. you'll end up going to another Eckerd

1979. because we don't wanna put you on the street.

1980. Oh. Yeah, I told you, Jon.

1981. Eckerd ain't just gonna put people on the street.

1982. Why-why you gonna keep him?

1983. 'Cause he's a good worker. He's...

1984. There's no reason for him to leave.

1985. He's never done anything wrong.

1986. They're gonna keep Rob.

1987. Rob will not be unemployed.

1988. - Jon: Rob. - What's up?

1989. You're smokin'.

1990. Yeah, I started smokin' again.

1991. I was doin' good. 146 days.

1992. - I quit like that. - Jon: Yeah.

1993. Now, for the past week, I've been smokin'.

1994. But I'm gonna stop again.

1995. Where are we goin' now?

1996. There's this place that helps you get jobs.

1997. - Jon: A job? What— - Yeah.

1998. Yeah, I got fired from Eckerd. I told you.

1999. - Jon: You got fired? - I got fired.

2000. They called me in the day before yesterday, right?

2001. - Jon: Yeah. - Because, um...

2002. the assistant manager knew my background.

2003. And she didn't say nothin' for the whole year.

2004. Then all of a sudden, she tells the district manager.

2005. Then they said, "All right, we have to let you go."

2006. And this place?

2007. This place helps you find a job,

2008. - and they're good. - Jon: Yeah?

2009. My parole officer called the guy.

2010. I got an appointment with Lanney.

2011. Okay? Only smoked half.

2012. You can take a seat, fill this out.

2013. When you're done, I'll get Mike.

2014. He'll interview you. Okay?

2015. "Have you ever been convicted of a felony

2016. in the last seven years?"

2017. What should I do? Lie?

2018. Now, I got child support.

2019. Matter of fact, I bring the letters

2020. in case you need to see it.

2021. And I'm saying, you know,

2022. I honestly been thinking about telling you,

2023. send me back, man, 'cause—

2024. Officer Shafran: $50 a month?

2025. Yes.

2026. Officer Shafran: That's what you're crying about?

2027. $50 a month?

2028. Well, it's, you know, it's not just that—

2029. Officer Shafran: That's not a lot of money.

2030. You know, every... you know, it's not just that.

2031. You know, if it was that...

2032. if that was all I had to pay,

2033. I'd be fine with that.

2034. Officer Shafran: This is life.

2035. If you can't live with this,

2036. you're gonna have a lot of problems.

2037. When everybody's hittin' me left and right,

2038. you know what I'm sayin'?

2039. I'll be like, I'm confused.

2040. I'm saying... I'm not...

2041. I'm not even used to bein' out.

2042. You're not staying down here, are you?

2043. - Rob: No. - I hope not.

2044. I'm... I don't wanna stay in Newark.

2045. No, I don't blame you.

2046. That's where you get all your trouble from.

2047. Yeah.

2048. Let me show you Rob's picture,

2049. if I still have it.

2050. - Jon: That you, Rob? - Rob: Yeah, it's me.

2051. She was just in here, too, not too long ago.

2052. - Rob: Deliris. - Officer: She was just in here.

2053. Officer 2: How about a Polaroid, a goodbye Polaroid?

2054. - Yeah, a group picture. - Officer 2: A goodbye Polaroid?

2055. Oh, a group picture.

2056. A good picture.

2057. I'm not standing there. I'm not a criminal.

2058. I'm not a criminal. I'm not standing there.

2059. I'll stand in the middle.

2060. - Man 1: Come on, Robert. - Man 2: Ready?

2061. "Life of Crime," part six.

2062. No flash.

2063. - All that shit for nothin'. - I got film. I got film.

2064. - Officer: Take care of yourself. - Rob: All right.

2065. Bye-bye.

2066. So what do you think, John? Does he have a shot?

2067. Yeah, he has a shot.

2068. As long as he doesn't go back to Newark,

2069. go out, hang with the same guys

2070. that got him in trouble to begin with,

2071. he's got a shot.

2072. How big a shot? This big?

2073. Little bigger. About 50/50 here.

2074. That's what it is. As long as he doesn't come back here.

2075. That's the whole thing.

2076. You can't come back to this town

2077. to hang out with the same guys that got you in trouble.

2078. And you're gonna wind up in trouble.

2079. - Rob: Hey, Deliris. - Oh, man.

2080. So you still gettin' high?

2081. - A little bit.

2082. But you're not addicted, right?

2083. Shit.

2084. Why don't you stop?

2085. I'm clean so far.

2086. - So far. - So far.

2087. I ain't fuckin' around no more.

2088. Shit, I don't even steal, man.

2089. I ain't doin' nothin'.

2090. - Deliris: This is my home. - Jon: Yeah?

2091. Temporarily.

2092. Robert, this is Ruben. Ruben, Robert.

2093. Hey, I remember that.

2094. When you was younger, huh?

2095. Yep, high school.

2096. You could still look like that again.

2097. Stop doin' drugs.

2098. I know. I want to.

2099. That's it. You can go to a detox, right?

2100. - Deliris: Uh-huh. - And, um...

2101. and get clean.

2102. And as soon as you come back out on the street,

2103. you're gonna start using again.

2104. Remember when you went to the drug program

2105. and you got, you know,

2106. like nice and plump and fat?

2107. - Deliris: Mm-hmm. - Rob: You was lookin' good.

2108. You had quit smokin', right?

2109. - Mm-hmm. - Rob: But...

2110. you see how positive you was then?

2111. But I bet you wasn't going to meetings or nothin'.

2112. And eventually you started usin' drugs, right?

2113. Yep.

2114. I'll see ya.

2115. - Nice seein' you. - Okay. Ruben, right?

2116. Okay, Ruben.

2117. - Nice seeing you again. - You better stop.

2118. - I need to. - Rob: Okay.

2119. Freddie. What is goin' on?

2120. Life is goin' on.

2121. The same old life.

2122. Officer Shafran: I'm havin' problems with Freddie.

2123. He hasn't been reporting like he's supposed to.

2124. Right now, I have no idea where he is.

2125. He's probably not staying at home

2126. 'cause he knows that I'm going out there.

2127. I'm gonna go pick him up if he's there.

2128. I have no choice but to issue a warrant for Freddie.

2129. Who knows what he's capable of doing out there in the streets.

2130. Freddie, if-if you don't turn yourself in,

2131. I think you'd die on the street.

2132. Well, either way, if I don't die on the street,

2133. where am I gonna die, in prison?

2134. I've been on the run now for, what, two days, three days?

2135. And, uh it's been rough.

2136. It's not, it's not easy, you know.

2137. 'Cause...

2138. I can't go to my family's house.

2139. Where else am I supposed to go?

2140. Backin' up into this alley

2141. because I'm gonna shoot me some dope in the car.

2142. Get the sickness off me.

2143. I let everybody down.

2144. I let myself down mainly.

2145. Shit.

2146. What are you doin'?

2147. Puttin' my bags in the fuckin' car.

2148. - Jon: Where are you goin'? - Back to Jersey, I guess.

2149. And? To do what?

2150. I don't know. Find another place to go to.

2151. You better turn yourself in.

2152. No, not now. Not today.

2153. That means you're gonna get high again, right?

2154. Obviously.

2155. What can I do, Jon?

2156. I'm sick.

2157. You gotta have the courage to turn yourself in, Freddie.

2158. It's a question of courage. Right?

2159. If you go out on the street and get high again,

2160. you're gonna die.

2161. You're not gonna make it.

2162. I don't know, Jon.

2163. I don't know what to do, man.

2164. - Rob: This is Gator. - I'm Gator.

2165. This is my roommate.

2166. I let him move in like about four months ago.

2167. He helps me pay the rent. You know what I mean?

2168. Gator was drug-free.

2169. When he moved in, I told him he couldn't

2170. mess with drugs and this and that.

2171. - You know, "You gotta go to AA." - Jon: Uh-huh.

2172. And then what happened, Gator?

2173. Came back,

2174. started playing with the drugs again

2175. and, uh, well, I got my habit back,

2176. but I'm tryin' to get clean again.

2177. Rob's helping me out with that, so...

2178. - Jon: What's the habit? - Heroin.

2179. - Jon: How much? - I'm doing right now

2180. about two bags a day, but...

2181. Picked up a couple of my buddies.

2182. You know, scorpion.

2183. It's not bad. It's...

2184. That's the same empty bag you left the other day,

2185. scorpio or scorp—

2186. This here ain't gonna bother you, is it?

2187. - Rob: Don't bother me. - Gator: Okay.

2188. 'Cause, you know, I don't wanna see you

2189. go back out there 'cause—

2190. I quit.

2191. I stopped. I didn't quit. I stopped.

2192. Let me see if I get tempted, Jon.

2193. - Gator: You hear that sound?

2194. That's like, mm. It's coming in.

2195. Don't bother me, Jon. Don't bother me at all.

2196. I'm on my fucking way to jail.

2197. I'm supposed to be there at 3:30.

2198. What time is it? It's 3:51.

2199. I still haven't even got my fuckin' dick sucked.

2200. That's gonna take another half hour.

2201. Psst.

2202. How much money you got?

2203. I don't know. You gonna shoot me up if I get the coke?

2204. - Freddie: Yeah, hell, yeah. - All right.

2205. And you know I don't have any veins.

2206. You're gonna have to go in my neck.

2207. No problem.

2208. You fuckin' spic.

2209. I'll be outside, 'cause my boyfriend don't want me...

2210. I don't want him to think that, you know...

2211. See, I wanna... to suck my fuckin' dick.

2212. I can't do it, man, 'cause...

2213. Fuckin' girl, man.

2214. She's gonna get all fuckin' coked up.

2215. - Fuckin'... - Freddie: Let me check on that side, huh?

2216. I don't see shit.

2217. Damn, I can't...

2218. see shit out there.

2219. It's too small. I'm gonna blow up.

2220. Wanna get that? It's small, mami.

2221. Ow, ow, ow.

2222. Okay, don't move. Don't move right there.

2223. Just hold it right there.

2224. - All the way, right? - Check back.

2225. - Go back? All the way? - Yeah.

2226. Okay. Don't fuckin' go out on me, mami.

2227. I won't.

2228. Your heart starts beatin' fuckin' thousand miles an hour.

2229. Now put this shit in.

2230. - Okay. - Take it out.

2231. - Take it out, Freddie. - It's done.

2232. See, I ain't even get my fuckin' dick sucked

2233. 'cause

2234. Wait. Let me put my shit on.

2235. Let me put my shit on, Fred.

2236. My boyfriend's there.

2237. Sleepin' pills.

2238. I'm packin' 'em so that way

2239. I take 'em to the county jail 'cause I can't sleep at night.

2240. That's exactly what I'm doin'. Bah-bah.

2241. The only way I'm gonna be able to sleep at night, kid.

2242. Who taught you how to do that stuff, Freddie?

2243. You learn this shit in prison.

2244. Man.

2245. - It's hurtin'.

2246. That's just too bad now.

2247. - Hold on a second. Hold on a second. - Freddie: Come on.

2248. Freddie, have a seat in this chair right here, okay?

2249. Officer Shafran: Just relax.

2250. - I got it. - Yeah.

2251. Don't ever think you got it in the bag

2252. like I thought I had it.

2253. There's nobody in the world could tell me

2254. that they get clean and stop usin'.

2255. And I don't care if it's 10, 15 years from now,

2256. they do it one time, they gonna do it every day.

2257. That shit is unstoppable, man.

2258. Officer Shafran: So in the end, I guess it is a successful story

2259. just 'cause you turned yourself in today.

2260. It'll be successful if when I max out, I'm still livin'.

2261. That's when it'll be successful.

2262. He'll be comfortable here.

2263. Tomorrow morning, they'll close the coffin up

2264. and take him to church.

2265. That's about it.

2266. Detective Al DiNatale: I'm Detective Al DiNatale,

2267. Trenton Police Department.

2268. - How you doin', Al? - How you doin'?

2269. - Officer Mahoney: Good. - I'm gonna walk you through

2270. the scene here and, uh,

2271. let you know exactly what we found.

2272. Rob was found laying on the floor over here

2273. with his head up against the refrigerator.

2274. If you look down here,

2275. you'll see the syringe needle next to his left leg.

2276. Officer Mahoney: This was gonna be a success story.

2277. We felt he straightened himself out.

2278. Obviously, it didn't work out that way.

2279. - Waste of life. - Officer Mahoney: Yeah.

2280. We have here a body of 41-years-old Robert Steffey,

2281. found at home in a state of full bloat decomposition,

2282. found with a syringe present

2283. in his left inner elbow.

2284. One hundred positive that his cause of death

2285. is as a result of his one-time shot of heroin.

2286. The heroin that was found in his system was very pure?

2287. Yes.

2288. A hot shot, which would be a shot that you will die from,

2289. is the ultimate high.

2290. And the gentleman or person who sold him this shot

2291. will be the hot person on the street,

2292. the dealer that everyone is looking for.

2293. They wanna buy from him because this gentleman

2294. supposedly got the ultimate high.

2295. Officer Mahoney: He knew what he was doin'.

2296. He knew heroin got him in prison before,

2297. got him in trouble,

2298. now got him dead.

2299. That's a sad ending to the life of Robert Steffey.

2300. Don't shoot dope...

2301. 'cause you're gonna end up in the morgue.

2302. I wanna introduce you the Mistress of Honor,

2303. who's an absolute unadulterated miracle...

2304. Right here. Right here.

2305. Let's hear it for Deliris.

2306. Our sister.

2307. My name is Deliris,

2308. and I'm a grateful, blessed recovering addict.

2309. Hey, Deliris.

2310. I love my recovery today.

2311. Let me tell ya I was born and raised in Newark.

2312. I have three beautiful kids.

2313. I graduated from high school.

2314. I went to college.

2315. I had a job with the City of Newark.

2316. The drugs stole all that from me.

2317. For 17 years, I shot drugs.

2318. When I OD'ed in my room,

2319. nobody knew where I was at.

2320. All I wanted to do was die.

2321. And you know what? A voice told me,

2322. "Help yourself, that I will help you."

2323. And ever since, I've been clean.

2324. If I could do it, anybody could do it.

2325. That's all I can say.

2326. If Deliris can do it?

2327. I can do it!

2328. If Deliris can do it?

2329. I can do it!

2330. If Deliris can do it?

2331. I can do it!

2332. Today is Mother's Day.

2333. I've had a long day today,

2334. but at least she keeps me company.

2335. It's my first Mother's Day without my mother.

2336. She passed away in July of last year.

2337. In the old days when I used to feel like this,

2338. I used to just go get high and don't feel nothin'.

2339. 'Cause that's what people do with drugs.

2340. They use drugs so they won't feel pain.

2341. And I did that for a lot of years.

2342. My mother was more a mother to my kids than I was.

2343. I'm not with my kids today

2344. because there's still pain with them.

2345. Jon, you remember me?

2346. I'm Kiky. I'm, uh, now 32.

2347. Last time you saw me, I believe was about eight or nine.

2348. And I'm definitely not the same person.

2349. Not at all.

2350. I'm happy with my life now,

2351. I'm tryin' to pick up the pieces now.

2352. I wanna focus on me, focus on my passions,

2353. my dreams, my goals,

2354. like those other things I have in front of me.

2355. And those are the things I'm gonna succeed in one day.

2356. This is my oldest son, Charlie.

2357. Those are the guys that used to

2358. lock your mother up all the time, Charlie.

2359. I know, we playin' against 'em.

2360. - Jon: Really? - Newark PD.

2361. Hey, guys. My name is Deliris.

2362. Um...

2363. I used to be a heavy drug addict,

2364. and I was in and outta jail, in and outta jail

2365. 'cause of my addiction.

2366. But I thank God that he rescued me

2367. and today I have 12 years clean.

2368. - Congratulations. - Deliris: Thank you.

2369. Glad you're out here.

2370. We're glad to have you.

2371. - Deliris: Thank you. - All right.

2372. Oh!

2373. They know police gonna whip their ass.

2374. Hey, Deliris.

2375. Deliris, this game is won on and off the field,

2376. but you're the real winner. All right?

2377. - Thank you. - All right.

2378. I get to take a picture with Newark Police Department

2379. instead of being in a lineup.

2380. - Jon: Ta-da! - All right, guys. Thank you.

2381. Thank you.

2382. That's the projects that they closed down.

2383. They found too many bodies in there.

2384. This is Pennington Court.

2385. I ran around here looking for drugs.

2386. Now I try to help people get clean.

2387. What's goin' on, Jodi?

2388. - Hey, how you doin'? - Hi.

2389. I remember you was just a little kid.

2390. You was here with Rob when he was still alive,

2391. during the film.

2392. I'm hope in a good way.

2393. We came here today to see you, to see what we could do for you.

2394. But it's up to you. I can't force you.

2395. Okay?

2396. All right, let me get a hug.

2397. - Stay strong, okay? - I sure will.

2398. Jodi, I'm gonna go see if I see somebody

2399. that needs help, okay?

2400. - You take care now. Okay. - You, too.

2401. I remember you.

2402. I've been homeless over, over 30 years.

2403. I need help.

2404. What happened?

2405. What happened? I made a mistake with my life.

2406. And I can't get no help.

2407. I'll try to get you into a program.

2408. Just don't give up.

2409. Don't give up.

2410. I know this guy right here.

2411. I used to sell him drugs.

2412. Yeah.

2413. When are you gonna get clean?

2414. I was tryin' to get clean.

2415. I was clean for a good while except then I got hurt again.

2416. I'm not on the needles and stuff like that.

2417. Once in a while, I had a little...

2418. I'm glad I'm not on that.

2419. I'm gonna pray for you, okay?

2420. Prayer do, do work.

2421. - Okay. - Deliris: All right.

2422. - You take care now. - Okay.

2423. Thank you.

2424. It never stops.

2425. Deliris, it is my distinct pleasure

2426. to recognize you today.

2427. Deliris is such a strong role model to many.

2428. So, Deliris, from sick and suffering

2429. to a strong survivor,

2430. you are a miracle.

2431. God bless you.

2432. My main purpose is to help another addict

2433. get clean like I did,

2434. because we can only keep what we have by giving it away.

2435. And I'm so grateful that I'm alive today

2436. because it was me and two other guys.

2437. And both of them overdosed on drugs.

2438. I'm the only one that's left today alive.

2439. And if Deliris can do it, I can do it too!

2440. If Deliris can do it?

2441. I can do it!

2442. If Deliris can do it?

2443. I can do it!

2444. This is my daughter Kiky.

2445. This is Cayden, my six-year-old grandson.

2446. Charlie, my oldest son...

2447. Thank you.

2448. and my oldest grandson.

2449. - I love you. I'm proud of you. - Deliris: I love you.

2450. I knew you could do it, Ma.

2451. Good job.

2452. - Love you. - Love you, too.

2453. All right, let's do this.

2454. This was her baby.

2455. I want people to remember my mother for her energy,

2456. and all the positivity she had, and wanting to help others.

2457. I'm proud of my mother. She changed her life around, a lot.

2458. Gotta be with family. Gotta keep it up.

2459. When people think of my mother,

2460. I want them to remember that recovery's possible.

2461. She did it for the past 13 years.

2462. And she helped as many people as she can.

2463. Kiky I'll never stop loving you.

2464. Yep.

2465. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

2466. Blessed are thou amongst women

2467. and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.

2468. Holy Mary, Mother of God,

2469. pray for us sinners

2470. now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

2471. She was able to tell her story. Not many could do that.

2472. She fought really hard.

2473. And I just wish I would have known

2474. that it was so long

2475. that she was fighting for someone to talk to

2476. with everything going on with this COVID virus.

2477. I had no idea it's been three months

2478. that she didn't have a meeting or someone to talk to

2479. that understood her on that level.

2480. As a child, I was always embarrassed.

2481. But now as an adult, everyone has their story,

2482. and I loved her very much.

2483. I really did, and I always will love my mother.

2484. She was an amazing woman.

2485. She's helped so many people.

2486. I will always carry you in my heart.

2487. I love you always, Mom.