1. One video camera... Beta! By golly.Copy !req
2. Good evening, my friend. Welcome.
So nice to see you.Copy !req
3. I need money to buy gas
so I can get out of this place.Copy !req
4. Yes, of course.Copy !req
5. You will be showing me
what is in the sack then?Copy !req
6. I can give you a hand. May I?Copy !req
7. Just open up here.Copy !req
8. Oh, my, my, my! What is this horrible thing?Copy !req
9. He's a good luck charm.Copy !req
10. Yes, I can see it's working very well.Copy !req
11. Whatever you do, don't touch the medallion.Copy !req
12. No, I won't.Copy !req
13. I am giving you...Copy !req
14. - 10...
- No!Copy !req
15. $20.Copy !req
16. Goodbye.Copy !req
17. Come back soon!Copy !req
18. Oh, my! Only a face a mother could love.Copy !req
19. Nothing but junk!Copy !req
20. "Don't touch," he says,
because it might break. It's so cheap.Copy !req
21. Oh, my goodness. Gosh.Copy !req
22. Oh, Gupta, by golly. You're a bloody genius.Copy !req
23. You're making a wonderful deal for $20.Copy !req
24. I like Indian food! So spicy!Copy !req
25. Who are you?Copy !req
26. I'm a leprechaun, me lad,
and you're a greedy thief.Copy !req
27. For trying to steal me gold,
I'll be giving you some grief.Copy !req
28. Have a lie-down, lad.Copy !req
29. Nice leather!
I appreciate a good pair of shoes.Copy !req
30. Ah!Copy !req
31. Don't mind if I do!Copy !req
32. I think I'll whack you in the head
a dozen times until you're dead.Copy !req
33. Take it away! Take it away!Copy !req
34. - You're being afraid of this?
- Stay away, I'm warning you.Copy !req
35. I'll tear your eyes out
and I'll rip your face off.Copy !req
36. You're a bloody devilish creature!Copy !req
37. You wanted me gold,
and you suffer the consequences.Copy !req
38. Now I'll take what's mine,
and be gone from here.Copy !req
39. No! You and your gold belong to Gupta.Copy !req
40. Well, you missed us both.Copy !req
41. You wanna back up and try that again?Copy !req
42. - Sorry.
- It's all right, happens all the time.Copy !req
43. Do you know anything about cars?
'Cause this one doesn't work.Copy !req
44. - Name's Scott.
- Tammy.Copy !req
45. Tammy. Great.Copy !req
46. - What seems to be the problem?
- Obviously, I don't know. It just died on me.Copy !req
47. Well, let's take a look.Copy !req
48. Ah! Well, see, someone stole your engine.Copy !req
49. Start it up for me, if you can.Copy !req
50. - What do you think?
- Have you ever blown a rod before?Copy !req
51. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
52. The engine, I meant.Copy !req
53. See, you got your pistons,
and your rods, and...Copy !req
54. - You don't wanna know this, right?
- No, actually, I don't.Copy !req
55. I'll give you 10 bucks
if you give me a ride to work.Copy !req
56. Forget it.Copy !req
57. You don't have to pay me.
Where do you work?Copy !req
58. Chicago.Copy !req
59. Yeah, got me.Copy !req
60. Chicago.Copy !req
61. That's very good.
I would have taken you there, too.Copy !req
62. Where is it? I know it is here somewhere.Copy !req
63. Here it is."Legends and Folklore."Copy !req
64. "Leprechauns."Copy !req
65. Good day to ya.Copy !req
66. The name's O'Reilly,
and I'm here to tell you about leprechauns.Copy !req
67. Legend has it that they were once
magical elves in ancient timesCopy !req
68. who became obsessed with riches and gold.Copy !req
69. 96,Copy !req
70. 97,Copy !req
71. 98, 99...Copy !req
72. I'm one shilling short!Copy !req
73. Wow! Look at all the lights! It's unbelievable!Copy !req
74. Yeah, it's a quaint little place.Copy !req
75. - So where do you work?
- The Lucky Shamrock.Copy !req
76. - What's that?
- It's a casino, Scott.Copy !req
77. What do you do there?Copy !req
78. - I'm a magician.
- Right on!Copy !req
79. Actually, right now,
I'm just a magician's assistant.Copy !req
80. But one of these days,
I'm gonna have my own act.Copy !req
81. I believe you.Copy !req
82. One little, two little
three little leprechaunsCopy !req
83. Four little, fiveCopy !req
84. little, sixCopy !req
85. little leprechaunsCopy !req
86. This place is unknown, so I'll leave it here.Copy !req
87. Me own savings and loan.
I'll have nothin' to fear.Copy !req
88. Remember, his power lies in his gold,
and he'll use all his magic to protect it.Copy !req
89. Yes, try to protect it from this.Copy !req
90. So is this your first trip to Vegas?Copy !req
91. Yeah. Actually, I'm just passing through.
I'm on my way to LA.Copy !req
92. Oh.Copy !req
93. - You're gonna be a movie star?
- No, actually, I'm on my way to school.Copy !req
94. My first year of college.Copy !req
95. Great! It's a smart move.
Go to school. Learn something worthwhile.Copy !req
96. I just thought I'd swing through Vegas,
you know, see what it's like.Copy !req
97. Take my advice and don't stay long.Copy !req
98. Yeah?Copy !req
99. Vegas has a way of latching on to a person.Copy !req
100. You wanna go, but you can't.Copy !req
101. I'll remember that.Copy !req
102. Potatoes are
a leprechaun's favorite meal.Copy !req
103. Like all good Irishmen, he loves his spuds,Copy !req
104. but he'll take a bite out of anybody
who threatens to steal his gold.Copy !req
105. Woe betide the man
who covets a leprechaun's shillin'.Copy !req
106. He'll batter and brain them, he'll mangle...Copy !req
107. My, my, my!Copy !req
108. Now let us go find
your little brothers and sisters.Copy !req
109. In fact, let us find the entire family.Copy !req
110. If a mortal gets hold of a leprechaun's gold,Copy !req
111. he'll be given one wish
for every shilling in his possession.Copy !req
112. He can have anything he wants
in the whole world.Copy !req
113. Thanks for the ride. I really appreciate it.Copy !req
114. - Sure.
- Bye.Copy !req
115. Hey, I've never been inside a real casino.Copy !req
116. Oh, forget it. You gotta be 21.Copy !req
117. I know, but I thought maybe
you could sneak me in,Copy !req
118. so I can see what it's like inside.Copy !req
119. What do you think? This is like Disneyland
or something? I could lose my job for that.Copy !req
120. My boss could lose his license.Copy !req
121. And you will lose your shirt.Copy !req
122. Right. I didn't think about that. I'm sorry.Copy !req
123. All right, look.Copy !req
124. If I get you into the den of iniquity here,
you gotta promise me something.Copy !req
125. - No gambling.
- Okay.Copy !req
126. Just take a look around,
see what you gotta see, and beat it.Copy !req
127. - I'm out of there.
- All right.Copy !req
128. So who do you work with?
I mean, magician-wise?Copy !req
129. - Right now, I'm assisting The Great Fazio.
- What's a Fazio?Copy !req
130. Well, Scott, a Fazio is a mediocre magician
who couldn't pull a rabbit out of a pet store.Copy !req
131. But it pays the bills.Copy !req
132. Remember now, no trouble, okay?
In and out.Copy !req
133. Okay.Copy !req
134. Maybe I could come see your show,
and we could have dinner afterwards.Copy !req
135. Er, it's a possibility, if I'm not busy.
Who knows?Copy !req
136. In you go.Copy !req
137. You are mine, you little bugger.Copy !req
138. You missed me! You missed me!Copy !req
139. If you're gonna linger,
I'll give you the finger.Copy !req
140. Stay away from me,
you steaming pile of cannibal dung!Copy !req
141. I'm a dangerous man!Copy !req
142. Stay away from me!Copy !req
143. Leprechauns do have their loveable side...Copy !req
144. Why, I remember
when Paddy McGinty's goat was sick with...Copy !req
145. I want me shilling!Copy !req
146. Oh, Yes, yes!Copy !req
147. All right.Copy !req
148. Whoa!Copy !req
149. Thank you, Melissa.Copy !req
150. You're terrible.Copy !req
151. - Come on.
- Yes!Copy !req
152. All right!Copy !req
153. Roll again, Father Bob!Copy !req
154. - Give me those dice here.
- More money.Copy !req
155. More money, more money. Here we go.Copy !req
156. Ready?Copy !req
157. Here she goes. Look at this!Copy !req
158. - Yes!
- Whoo! All right.Copy !req
159. Excellent.Copy !req
160. What time is it?Copy !req
161. It's after 7:00. Where's Tammy?Copy !req
162. I don't know, damn it! She's got work to do!Copy !req
163. What do you keep her around for anyway?
She's not worth a damn.Copy !req
164. She's got a way of filling out a costume.Copy !req
165. I could look just as good, you know.
Why don't you hire me?Copy !req
166. Twenty years ago, Loretta,
or should I say 20 pounds ago?Copy !req
167. I am not always gonna look
just like this, pally.Copy !req
168. No? You find the fountain of youth
or something?Copy !req
169. I've been saving my pennies, buddy boy,Copy !req
170. and one of these days,
I'm gonna come waltzing in that doorCopy !req
171. with everything packed
into all the right places.Copy !req
172. You need more than a boob job, Loretta.
You need a personality transplant.Copy !req
173. Bitch!Copy !req
174. I'm sorry I'm late, Fazio.Copy !req
175. I told you, you will address me
as "Great One."Copy !req
176. Off stage and on.Copy !req
177. You're a magician, not the Pope.Copy !req
178. I am your teacher. You will show me respect.Copy !req
179. Right.Copy !req
180. Loretta.Copy !req
181. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
182. Throw me that lighter.Copy !req
183. Ow!Copy !req
184. - Are you doing the magic rings tonight?
- Screw the magic rings.Copy !req
185. Oh, my God!Copy !req
186. I've got something 10 times better.Copy !req
187. You're in the box,
I do the standard switch gag,Copy !req
188. and then I set fire to the box!Copy !req
189. The audience goes nuts,
thinking you're in there being burnt alive.Copy !req
190. I'm gonna call it "The Burning Beauty."Copy !req
191. Oh, God!Copy !req
192. What the hell is going on here?Copy !req
193. Fazio, is this the fabulous stunt
you wanted me to see?Copy !req
194. What are you, nuts?Copy !req
195. Only a moron would try something like this.
You believe this guy?Copy !req
196. It'll be great, Mitch.
I'll make sure she's got protection.Copy !req
197. Forget it. End of discussion.Copy !req
198. I'm not taking any chances
with my future headliner.Copy !req
199. How you're doing, babe?
You look sensational.Copy !req
200. - Thanks.
- Now, you.Copy !req
201. Get out there and mix with the suckers.Copy !req
202. Do something like...
Do some card tricks or something.Copy !req
203. Keep them entertained.Copy !req
204. Out of the question!
I work the main room! I'm a star.Copy !req
205. You're a schmuck.
Now get out there and earn your pay, Fazio.Copy !req
206. That goes for you, too. Break is over.
Back to work.Copy !req
207. So, you need anything,
you know who to come to, right?Copy !req
208. - Right. Right.
- Yeah.Copy !req
209. You keep playing hard to get.
You mark my words, you'll come around.Copy !req
210. I guarantee.Copy !req
211. I saw that.Copy !req
212. Rolling, rolling, rolling!
Where she stops, nobody knows.Copy !req
213. And winner, winner, winner!Copy !req
214. We have a winner!Copy !req
215. - To the sharp-dressed man!
- Thank you.Copy !req
216. You'll need a dump truck
to take it all home, mister.Copy !req
217. A rack for you.Copy !req
218. Here, this is for you.Copy !req
219. What a gentleman!Copy !req
220. Everyone's a winner today.Copy !req
221. Excuse me, sir, do you know
where I can cash a check?Copy !req
222. Are you old enough to be in here, kid?Copy !req
223. Oh-oh! Yes. You're old enough.Copy !req
224. Right over there. You have a good day.Copy !req
225. Hey, Mitch, how's it hanging?Copy !req
226. Hi, fellas!
Listen, not now, okay? I've got business.Copy !req
227. Stay here!Copy !req
228. What are you, a 44 regular?Copy !req
229. You know, I've got a plaid
that'll make you look 20 pounds younger.Copy !req
230. - What do you want, Art?
- What do I want?Copy !req
231. I want brown hair.
I want health insurance for all Americans.Copy !req
232. I want the Mets to get their shit together.Copy !req
233. Let's not worry about what I want,
let's worry about what I need.Copy !req
234. - I need my money.
- Tomorrow. Tomorrow's good.Copy !req
235. I'll stop by your store
and we'll take care of everything.Copy !req
236. - Tell him.
- Okay? Excuse me.Copy !req
237. Look sharp, be sharp.Copy !req
238. No, tell him the other thing, the threat thing.Copy !req
239. You pay Arthur the money you owe him
or I will kill you.Copy !req
240. That's good.Copy !req
241. What are you, tough guys?
I got hemorrhoids tougher than you.Copy !req
242. Hey!Copy !req
243. On the other hand,Copy !req
244. why don't we meet a little later
over by the cashier's cage?Copy !req
245. How's 10:00 for you?
It's good for me if it's good for you.Copy !req
246. - 10:00? Wait, when do you take your break?
- 9:30.Copy !req
247. 9:30 to 9:45?
Think you can make it back by 10:00?Copy !req
248. - 10:00.
- Okay, 10:00. 10:00's good.Copy !req
249. - You mind?
- Yeah.Copy !req
250. You buy off the rack, that's what happens.Copy !req
251. I could've taken him.Copy !req
252. No, no, he couldn't. You, bigger.Copy !req
253. Get 'em down, get 'em down,
before the wheel goes 'round.Copy !req
254. We're gonna have somebody lucky
before the night is over.Copy !req
255. You feelin' lucky? You feelin' lucky, sugar?
What you gonna do with all that?Copy !req
256. I believe I'll try this one.Copy !req
257. Dangerous man, I like it.Copy !req
258. And the wheel goes round and round,
no more bets, no more bets.Copy !req
259. Ah!Copy !req
260. There was an old man of Madras
whose balls were made of fine brass,Copy !req
261. so, in stormy weather,
they both clanged together,Copy !req
262. and sparks flew out of his arse.Copy !req
263. I'm finding this to be
a very funny and poetic leprechaun.Copy !req
264. I'm glad you liked it, lad.Copy !req
265. Now you left the door open,
so I assuming you wanted to see me.Copy !req
266. Yes. I'm wanting to discuss things with you.Copy !req
267. - For instance?
- I want to negotiate.Copy !req
268. I am for giving you this medallion,Copy !req
269. which you are terribly, terribly afraid of,
for half your gold.Copy !req
270. Half me gold for a worthless medallion?Copy !req
271. This is my final offer!
You are taking it or leaving it.Copy !req
272. You got a deal, lad.Copy !req
273. Now, put it away, why don't you?Copy !req
274. Perhaps I'll do a little fishin'.Copy !req
275. I told you a terrible lie,
and now you're going to die.Copy !req
276. Eighteen red. We got a winner!Copy !req
277. I can't... I can't believe it!Copy !req
278. How could this happen to me?Copy !req
279. Place your bets, place your bets.Copy !req
280. Tough luck, kid.
So, you're gonna bet or what?Copy !req
281. Bet?Copy !req
282. - Get 'em down.
- You want me to bet?Copy !req
283. I had $23,000.Copy !req
284. Looks like you got a couple hundred.
You can get hot.Copy !req
285. Get 'em down, get 'em down.
Big spender, big spender.Copy !req
286. And the wheel goes round
and round and round, get 'em down.Copy !req
287. There you go.Copy !req
288. Where the hell were you?Copy !req
289. I told you,
the trap door keeps getting stuck.Copy !req
290. That's what I get for working
at a dump like this, nothing works.Copy !req
291. Get away from me! Get away from me!Copy !req
292. Get away!Copy !req
293. No more bets, no more bets!Copy !req
294. Feelin' lucky, Mr. Big Time Spender? Mr...Copy !req
295. Here she's dropping.Copy !req
296. Green, double zero!Copy !req
297. The house makes out. Sorry, folks!Copy !req
298. What have I done? I'm ruined, I'm finished.Copy !req
299. What, are you kidding me?
You're due, you're gonna make it big.Copy !req
300. - Place your bets!
- What?Copy !req
301. Yeah. Trust me.Copy !req
302. Bad streak of luck like that,
no way you're gonna lose.Copy !req
303. Get 'em down before the wheel goes around.Copy !req
304. - Really?
- Yeah, trust me.Copy !req
305. But I don't have any more money.Copy !req
306. Nice watch there.
Could bring a nice chunk of change.Copy !req
307. My grandpa gave me this watch
for graduation.Copy !req
308. Make him proud. Make a comeback. Win.Copy !req
309. Pawn shop across the street,
tell him Loretta sent you.Copy !req
310. Get 'em down, get 'em down!
She's dropping.Copy !req
311. Where's me shilling?Copy !req
312. I want me shilling!Copy !req
313. Help!Copy !req
314. No! No! No!Copy !req
315. Tell me where it is, or by me sainted mother,
I'll strangle ya!Copy !req
316. This must be the place.Copy !req
317. This is your last chance. I'm warnin' you.Copy !req
318. I want me shilling!Copy !req
319. Oh, no! What was I thinking?Copy !req
320. With all this killing, I've lost me shilling!Copy !req
321. Hello!Copy !req
322. Anybody here?Copy !req
323. Hello?Copy !req
324. Oh, my God!Copy !req
325. Oh, man!Copy !req
326. I thought I had problems.Copy !req
327. Operator, listen.Copy !req
328. I'm in a pawn shop across the street
from the Lucky Shamrock Casino.Copy !req
329. And I found a dead person.Copy !req
330. Yeah, I'm sure.Copy !req
331. Yeah.Copy !req
332. All right, I'll wait right here.Copy !req
333. A leprechaun is very territorial.Copy !req
334. He can never tolerate another leprechaun
crossing his boundaries.Copy !req
335. One leprechaun can be aggravating,
but two can be devastating.Copy !req
336. With that in mind, let's review
what we've learned about leprechauns.Copy !req
337. Number one, his power lies in his gold.Copy !req
338. Without it,
he's just another gnome full of mischief.Copy !req
339. Number two, each of his gold shillings
will bring a wish come trueCopy !req
340. to anyone who possesses them.Copy !req
341. A wish?Copy !req
342. I wish I was back at the casino
on a winning streak.Copy !req
343. I've lost him!Copy !req
344. He's got me shilling!Copy !req
345. He's got me shilling!Copy !req
346. What the heck am I doing here?Copy !req
347. There are no other bets, no other bettors.
Just the house and the golden boy.Copy !req
348. He's riding seven red,
let's see how lucky he gets.Copy !req
349. Hell! A seven red! We got a winner!Copy !req
350. You gonna let that ride, golden boy?Copy !req
351. And the luckiest man in Las Vegas
puts the whole load on 13 black.Copy !req
352. Thirteen black is up, nobody else is betting.Copy !req
353. Ah! Lovely golden palaces
completely full of richesCopy !req
354. I'll rip them off and rob 'em blind,
those dirty sons of bitches!Copy !req
355. Yeah!Copy !req
356. Black 13! Another winner, another winner!Copy !req
357. This guy's got a hell of a winning streak.Copy !req
358. Winning streak.
I wished for a winning streak.Copy !req
359. - What the hell is going on here?
- Unbelievable. He can't lose.Copy !req
360. Two hours ago, he's losing his shirt.
Now, I can't stop him.Copy !req
361. Well, you better stop him, or else.Copy !req
362. Any other bettors? No other bettors!Copy !req
363. On the way to being a millionaire.Copy !req
364. Six black. Here we go!Copy !req
365. Come on, baby, make me a winner.Copy !req
366. And it's a...Copy !req
367. The hits just keep on coming!Copy !req
368. A winner!Copy !req
369. I've about had it with you, Loretta.Copy !req
370. I don't know. I did what you told me.
Something went wrong.Copy !req
371. Yeah. Well, you better get the money back
or something will go wrong, with you.Copy !req
372. You know what I mean?Copy !req
373. - Hmm-mmm.
- Good.Copy !req
374. "Golden Nugget." I'd like one of those.Copy !req
375. He's a winner again!Copy !req
376. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
377. due to a slight solacrivenance
in the stem of the wheel,Copy !req
378. the situation is thus.Copy !req
379. This table is closed, but it's only temporary.
So, come back in a little while.Copy !req
380. All right? Thank you very much.Copy !req
381. Thank you.Copy !req
382. Congratulations. You've had some...
Some amazing streak of luck.Copy !req
383. - I mean, truly amazing.
- Thanks!Copy !req
384. I don't know how it happened.Copy !req
385. I mean, I was losing everything,
then all of a sudden...Copy !req
386. Yeah, right.
You see, that's how it happens sometimes.Copy !req
387. Tell me, kid, you...
You staying here at the hotel?Copy !req
388. - No, actually, I'm not.
- Well, let's just change that.Copy !req
389. Here you go.
I would like you to be our guest.Copy !req
390. Anything you want, it's on me. Okay?Copy !req
391. Wow!Copy !req
392. - Thanks a lot!
- Oh, oh, no problem.Copy !req
393. Listen, why don't you just relax,
take a break, come back in an hour or so,Copy !req
394. and then see if you can keep
that winning streak going?Copy !req
395. - What do you say, kid?
- Yeah.Copy !req
396. Boy, I can't wait to get back into it.Copy !req
397. Man, Las Vegas is really
turning out to be a great place.Copy !req
398. Vegas, the greatest little town in the world.Copy !req
399. I'll see you in a while, kid.Copy !req
400. We'll keep the same table
reserved just for you.Copy !req
401. - Okay, I'll be here.
- That's good.Copy !req
402. Jesus!Copy !req
403. Schmuck.Copy !req
404. Tammy, you won't believe what happened!Copy !req
405. What are you doing here?
You're not supposed to be gambling!Copy !req
406. - I won!
- All that?Copy !req
407. Scott, you said you wouldn't gamble.Copy !req
408. I know, I know,
but something happened to me.Copy !req
409. It's like I've got the fever or something.Copy !req
410. I mean, I was losing my shirt,
and then I went to pawn my watch,Copy !req
411. - and then I found a dead guy...
- You what?Copy !req
412. Yeah. At the pawn shop.Copy !req
413. But the next thing you know,
I'm back here at the casinoCopy !req
414. and I'm winning everything in sight.Copy !req
415. All right. Listen to me.Copy !req
416. They gave me my own room!
On the house, see?Copy !req
417. Scott, just shut up for a second
and listen to me.Copy !req
418. I want you to cash in your chips
and go home.Copy !req
419. Get in your car and leave Las Vegas.Copy !req
420. No, Tammy, no. Listen.Copy !req
421. All this happened because of you.Copy !req
422. I wanna share it with you.Copy !req
423. Scott! Oh, my God!Copy !req
424. Are you serious?Copy !req
425. Look, I got a show, I've gotta go.Copy !req
426. Just... All right, cash in the chips
and go up to your room and stay there.Copy !req
427. Don't let anybody in.
I cannot stress that enough.Copy !req
428. Nobody comes in.Copy !req
429. And keep the money right beside you.Copy !req
430. - Okay?
- Okay.Copy !req
431. When I'm done with my next show,
I'm gonna come up and we'll talk.Copy !req
432. - Okay?
- Okay.Copy !req
433. All right. I'll be up as soon as I can.Copy !req
434. This is so great! I mean, I can't...Copy !req
435. Shh! Scott.Copy !req
436. - Are you gonna cash those in?
- Yeah.Copy !req
437. - You've done well for yourself.
- Well, it was a good night.Copy !req
438. Nope.Copy !req
439. Me shilling!Copy !req
440. A lucky sign.
The gold inside will soon be mine.Copy !req
441. Fine suit of clothes, lad.Copy !req
442. Well, thank you. Thank you very much.Copy !req
443. Those shoes, do they come in blue suede?
I really like 'em, man.Copy !req
444. Well, thank you. Thank you very much.Copy !req
445. Hey, man, you do that pretty good.
Next time, make sure you get paid for it.Copy !req
446. Hey, man, see you on the flipside.Copy !req
447. Vegas! My kind of town!Copy !req
448. Thank you. No, thank you.Copy !req
449. And now, using all my magic, I will summon
forth a member of the animal kingdom.Copy !req
450. Fazio!Copy !req
451. Of course, the casino won't allow me
to use a real bunny.Copy !req
452. Oh, my God!Copy !req
453. Hello, little one.
What an interesting costume.Copy !req
454. Watch this.Copy !req
455. Oh, shit!Copy !req
456. A little token of my esteem,
it is exactly what it seems.Copy !req
457. Made fresh daily at exactly 9:00.Copy !req
458. It comes from my shillelagh,
you can keep it in a crock.Copy !req
459. - Fazio! Just the girl I wanna see.
- Not now! Some little butthead...Copy !req
460. What is that smell? Is that my shoe?Copy !req
461. - It's not my shoe. It was in my hand!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
462. Never mind. Have you seen
that little tramp that works for me?Copy !req
463. Tammy? Forget her.
Focus on that punk at the elevator.Copy !req
464. What about him?Copy !req
465. He just won over a hundred thou
at the roulette wheel.Copy !req
466. You're kidding me! How did you let him
get away with that much?Copy !req
467. Something went wrong.
Anyway, he still got it on him.Copy !req
468. Cash and carry.Copy !req
469. - In cash?
- He's got this gold coin I want.Copy !req
470. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
471. I figured we split the green,
I get the gold coin.Copy !req
472. You know, good luck charm.Copy !req
473. What's his room number?Copy !req
474. Room service?Copy !req
475. Like taking candy from a baby.Copy !req
476. - Go, man, throw me a winner!
- Yeah!Copy !req
477. Yeah!Copy !req
478. I never lose!Copy !req
479. Hey, Tony, look what we got here.
A high roller.Copy !req
480. - Move.
- Watch it?Copy !req
481. Nice duds. What is that, lederhosen?Copy !req
482. Take a break, pal.Copy !req
483. Hey, crappier, you give me them dice,
I'm feeling lucky.Copy !req
484. But I'm not through winning, lad.Copy !req
485. Get outta here.Copy !req
486. Looks like a slot machine!Copy !req
487. You wanna try your luck?Copy !req
488. This is my kind of place,
crooked and sleazy,Copy !req
489. stealing gold from humans is awfully easy.Copy !req
490. Look out, Vegas. I'm taking over.Copy !req
491. Money, money, money, money...Copy !req
492. It's good!Copy !req
493. Money, money is good.Copy !req
494. Money.Copy !req
495. That's silk. I'll keep that.Copy !req
496. Hey!Copy !req
497. What are you doing in my room?Copy !req
498. Ow!Copy !req
499. Room service.Copy !req
500. - What the hell...
- Now, me boyo,Copy !req
501. I smell me shilling.Copy !req
502. Tell me where it is
or there'll be another killing.Copy !req
503. What the hell are you?Copy !req
504. I'm a leprechaun, come to claim me gold.Copy !req
505. Yeah, give me hotel security.Copy !req
506. Yeah, I'd like to report
a leprechaun in your hotel.Copy !req
507. No, a leprechaun.Copy !req
508. Yeah, a little green guy.Copy !req
509. He tried to kill me!Copy !req
510. Hello?Copy !req
511. The coin. The bastard took my coin.Copy !req
512. Next time, I'll take the elevator!Copy !req
513. I have been looking all over hell for you.Copy !req
514. - You got the coin?
- Yes, I got the coin.Copy !req
515. I didn't find any money.Copy !req
516. - Gimme!
- Forget it! We're splitting it 50-50.Copy !req
517. We made a deal, that coin belongs to me.Copy !req
518. Yeah. Well, I didn't get the money,
so now we're splitting it.Copy !req
519. We are not gonna sell it, you putz!Copy !req
520. It's got powers.Copy !req
521. What are you talking about?
What kind of powers?Copy !req
522. Put it on the table,
you're not gonna believe this.Copy !req
523. It's amazing.Copy !req
524. Go on. Go on.Copy !req
525. - I can't, it's magically disappeared.
- "It's magic..."Copy !req
526. - Put it on the table!
- All right. What number?Copy !req
527. - Just any one! Any one!
- Eleven black.Copy !req
528. I don't get it.Copy !req
529. Get what? Are you losing your mind?Copy !req
530. It moves.
It moves to the winning number by itself.Copy !req
531. Oh, I see. It moves to the winning number
by itself, which means thatCopy !req
532. you're nuts!Copy !req
533. Look, I gotta go do my show.Copy !req
534. I want you to find a coin dealer,
get it appraised and we will sell it.Copy !req
535. I swear, on my mother's grave, it has magic.Copy !req
536. Loretta, darling, if you want magic,
bend over.Copy !req
537. I'll pull a rabbit out of your ass.Copy !req
538. In the meantime, do what I tell you.
I'll see you tonight.Copy !req
539. Fazio!Copy !req
540. I know you've got work to do backstage.Copy !req
541. I'm gone.Copy !req
542. He's gone.Copy !req
543. - Did you get my money back yet?
- I'm working on it.Copy !req
544. - What is that?
- That is mine!Copy !req
545. That looks like gold to me. Give me it.Copy !req
546. - I said give me it!
- That is my personal property!Copy !req
547. I'm gonna keep this
until you get my money back for me.Copy !req
548. That's my personal property. I want it back!Copy !req
549. Would you keep your voice down?Copy !req
550. One thing I can't stand
is a fat broad with a big mouth.Copy !req
551. Who's calling fat fat, Mr. Porker?Copy !req
552. Oh, really!Copy !req
553. Yeah, really. You couldn't get a woman
if your life depended on it.Copy !req
554. Oh, yeah? I could have any broad that I want.Copy !req
555. Like that bubblehead little bimbo,
Miss Tammy?Copy !req
556. Yeah, I could have Tammy if I wanted her.Copy !req
557. - Ha! You wish!
- Yeah.Copy !req
558. I wish!Copy !req
559. What was that?Copy !req
560. Mmm...Copy !req
561. If wishes were horses, a fat man like you
couldn't even get in the saddle.Copy !req
562. - Mitch! Mitch.
- Tammy, what's the matter?Copy !req
563. - I want you.
- You do?Copy !req
564. I want you more than any man
I've ever known in my life.Copy !req
565. Have you got a fever?Copy !req
566. Oh, right now, Mitch! Take me!Copy !req
567. Take me right here! On the floor!Copy !req
568. Yes!Copy !req
569. Fatso, huh?Copy !req
570. Well, look, whatever it is,
don't change a thing.Copy !req
571. - Now you just stay like this.
- Oh, yes!Copy !req
572. - Come on, let's go to my room.
- Yes.Copy !req
573. Mandatory drug testing for all employees,
that's it.Copy !req
574. - Mitchy, Mitchy...
- Yeah. We'll go right to my room.Copy !req
575. - All this time, Mitchy.
- Boy, am I ready!Copy !req
576. I'm going to start pumping now.Copy !req
577. I don't look it, but I can get really nasty!Copy !req
578. - You can?
- Yeah!Copy !req
579. Then you just do it.Copy !req
580. - Do I have permission?
- Yeah.Copy !req
581. - Come on, baby!
- Yeah!Copy !req
582. Wait a minute. That's what he said.Copy !req
583. "I wish."Copy !req
584. Oh, Mitchy, where have you been all my life?Copy !req
585. I've been right here, baby, waiting for you.Copy !req
586. Gimme a kiss!Copy !req
587. Mitchy.Copy !req
588. I like my loving the same way I like my men.Copy !req
589. - Tough.
- Tough?Copy !req
590. And hard, like this.Copy !req
591. Ow!Copy !req
592. Ooh, that's wonderful!Copy !req
593. I wanna make you feel it, like this.Copy !req
594. - You're turning me on!
- I am?Copy !req
595. - I think I got the idea. Let me do it for you.
- Okay.Copy !req
596. - You like that?
- Oh, Mitchy! Yeah!Copy !req
597. Ooh! I love it!Copy !req
598. Now, can we... Can we do it?Copy !req
599. My boxers keep crawling up my butt.Copy !req
600. I hate that. I go with Jockeys now.Copy !req
601. Yeah. You know,
makes me feel like a sissy.Copy !req
602. Yeah.Copy !req
603. You can't hang like you really want to.Copy !req
604. - How do you want it hanging?
- Loose. I wanna be comfortable.Copy !req
605. - I like a little support.
- Yeah? Feels good.Copy !req
606. - How's my tie look?
- Fine. Good.Copy !req
607. - My socks are hanging down on my ankles.
- I hate that.Copy !req
608. I wear those ones
come over the calves, like tubers.Copy !req
609. Yeah. I'd get those garters,
but they make me feel like a sissy.Copy !req
610. Where the hell is that guy?Copy !req
611. Enough with the pain. Okay, no more pain.Copy !req
612. Sweetie, mama's gonna
make you feel so good!Copy !req
613. Well, good is good, pain is...Copy !req
614. What tasteful decor!Copy !req
615. Mitchy, it's like a museum.Copy !req
616. - Let's do it. Let's do it!
- Mitchy!Copy !req
617. - What? This is good.
- Down, boy.Copy !req
618. - Now, first...
- First what?Copy !req
619. - I'm gonna make you hot.
- Yes, I like that.Copy !req
620. - And then...
- What?Copy !req
621. I'm gonna make you burn.Copy !req
622. Burn?Copy !req
623. Oh, boy!Copy !req
624. That's very nice.Copy !req
625. That's nice. That's good. Yes.Copy !req
626. Take it all off.Copy !req
627. Do it. Do it. Yes!Copy !req
628. You got real talent.Copy !req
629. Ooh!Copy !req
630. Yes!Copy !req
631. Have I got a wish for you!Copy !req
632. - Mitch?
- Come and get me, baby.Copy !req
633. What did you do to me?
How did you get me here?Copy !req
634. - Hey, wait!
- How did I get here?Copy !req
635. It's me, remember?
The love machine! Come on!Copy !req
636. Get away from me! You letch!Copy !req
637. You bitch! You ball-breaking tease!Copy !req
638. You're fired as of tonight!Copy !req
639. You're finished in show business.Copy !req
640. You'll never get a job in this town again.Copy !req
641. Belongs to me, this gold I smell.Copy !req
642. Whoever's got it is going to hell.Copy !req
643. Potatoes!Copy !req
644. I was gonna make her a star.Copy !req
645. All she had to do was cooperate.Copy !req
646. What the hell is going on?Copy !req
647. What channel is this?Copy !req
648. What do you need her for, Mitch,
when you can have me?Copy !req
649. She called me Mitch?Copy !req
650. Take a look at these, Mitch.Copy !req
651. Coincidence.Copy !req
652. I like this.Copy !req
653. Here you go!Copy !req
654. Baked potato, broiled potato, French fries,
potato skins, potato saladCopy !req
655. and six potato pancakes.Copy !req
656. Anything else?Copy !req
657. There once was a lady of Totten,Copy !req
658. whose taste grew perverted and rotten,Copy !req
659. she cared not for steaks
or for pastries and cakes,Copy !req
660. but lived upon penis au gratin.Copy !req
661. Metallica!Copy !req
662. No, wait!Copy !req
663. White Zombie. I've got the album.Copy !req
664. Enjoy your spuds!Copy !req
665. What the hell did I just say?Copy !req
666. I'm coming for you, Mitch!Copy !req
667. I must be dreaming.Copy !req
668. I'm coming.Copy !req
669. - Come on, baby.
- I can't wait to reach you.Copy !req
670. Well, come and get me.Copy !req
671. Oh. Oh!Copy !req
672. - I must be dreaming.
- No.Copy !req
673. - I'm not dreaming?
- No.Copy !req
674. - This is nice. This is good.
- Mitch.Copy !req
675. What can I do for you?
Where did you come from?Copy !req
676. - I'll show you.
- What's the difference?Copy !req
677. Hey, you want my heat-seeking
moisture missile, don't you?Copy !req
678. What a lovely treat for a fine lad like meself.Copy !req
679. What's wrong with me?
Why am I talking like that?Copy !req
680. - Hey, rich kid.
- Loretta!Copy !req
681. Eating up all your winnings already.Copy !req
682. Where's Tammy? Have you seen her?Copy !req
683. She's up in Mitch's office
getting her clock cleaned.Copy !req
684. - What?
- Life's a bitch, ain't it?Copy !req
685. - Where's Mitch's office?
- Third floor, Room 318.Copy !req
686. Elevator left, then a right. Bon appétit.Copy !req
687. That's the freak that broke into my room.Copy !req
688. Yeah, baby!Copy !req
689. Feeling sick? Stubbed your toe?
Call this lawyer. I'll fix your woe.Copy !req
690. Agony is my business. I'll fight for you!Copy !req
691. Even you, Mitch.Copy !req
692. Excuse me.Copy !req
693. Did you...
Did you hear my name mentioned?Copy !req
694. - No.
- Good!Copy !req
695. - Tammy. Are you all right?
- Stay away from me!Copy !req
696. - What happened? What's wrong?
- Nothing happened. Nothing's wrong.Copy !req
697. Just business as usual.Copy !req
698. What did he do to you? Tell me what he did.Copy !req
699. It's what he tried to do, okay?Copy !req
700. It's not like this is the first time
this has happened to me.Copy !req
701. It's just that this time,
along with everything else, I got fired.Copy !req
702. So let's just forget it.Copy !req
703. No. I'm not gonna forget it.
And neither are you.Copy !req
704. If we let him get away with it,
he'll do it again to somebody else.Copy !req
705. And I don't know about you,
but I'm not gonna let that happen.Copy !req
706. Praise the Lord!Copy !req
707. And send in your money!Copy !req
708. Otherwise, you're all doomed
to hellfire and damnationCopy !req
709. for fornicatin' with the devil's harlot.Copy !req
710. Especially you, Mitch.
You're a prime offender.Copy !req
711. - That just sounded like my name.
- No.Copy !req
712. - No?
- No.Copy !req
713. The signs
point to a tragedy about to happen.Copy !req
714. Casino owner diesCopy !req
715. in a bed of lies.Copy !req
716. - That was my name, right?
- Yes!Copy !req
717. Oh, shit.Copy !req
718. What the hell is happening here?Copy !req
719. No, no! You freak. Get off of me!Copy !req
720. Oh!Copy !req
721. Where the hell is that asshole? Come on!Copy !req
722. A dream. This is a bad dream.Copy !req
723. You'll get what's due
when I electrocute you!Copy !req
724. Scott, um...Copy !req
725. Thank you.Copy !req
726. - Mitch.
- Sir?Copy !req
727. My God!Copy !req
728. Oh, Scott!Copy !req
729. Where's me shilling?Copy !req
730. - You again?
- What?Copy !req
731. Now, me boyo,
it's time to cut you down to size.Copy !req
732. Who are you?Copy !req
733. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
734. Mitch, I want my money,
and I want my money now.Copy !req
735. What the hell's going on here?Copy !req
736. You're in a lot of trouble, pal.Copy !req
737. - Out of me way!
- Hey! Stay there.Copy !req
738. I know you.
You're that guy from the craps table.Copy !req
739. You know, you really ought to go see
a dermatologist or something.Copy !req
740. That's really bad.Copy !req
741. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.Copy !req
742. That really hurt.Copy !req
743. We dance.Copy !req
744. Tell me, what was Judy Garland really like?Copy !req
745. They should have been willing
to give me me shilling.Copy !req
746. But I've done well by sending them to hell!Copy !req
747. What are we gonna do? He's a monster.Copy !req
748. Nobody's gonna believe us
if we tell them what we've seen!Copy !req
749. Scott, what's wrong?Copy !req
750. I don't know.Copy !req
751. My insides. It's like everything's twisted up.Copy !req
752. - Oh, my God!
- What is it? What's wrong?Copy !req
753. - Your face!
- I'm in trouble, Tammy.Copy !req
754. Help me!Copy !req
755. Scott, we gotta get out of here.Copy !req
756. Like you said, who's gonna believe us?Copy !req
757. I don't know...Copy !req
758. That's where it all happened.Copy !req
759. - Where?
- At the pawn shop across the street.Copy !req
760. That's where I found the coin.
I think that's where the answer is.Copy !req
761. Let's go check it out.Copy !req
762. I smell me shilling.Copy !req
763. And the gentle fragrance
of a lady's perfume.Copy !req
764. Let it work, let it work, let it work.Copy !req
765. Let me be beautiful.Copy !req
766. Give me the body of a stacked 20-year-old.Copy !req
767. Please.Copy !req
768. I wanna be sexyCopy !req
769. and beautiful again.Copy !req
770. I wish.Copy !req
771. Oh! Yeah!Copy !req
772. Enter.Copy !req
773. Loretta?Copy !req
774. That's right, sweetheart.Copy !req
775. Little ol' me.Copy !req
776. Didn't I tell you one of these days
I was gonna turn it around?Copy !req
777. - But how?
- Magic.Copy !req
778. All I had to do was wish for it.Copy !req
779. Pretty. Yours?Copy !req
780. Man, oh, man, oh, mano-schewitz!Copy !req
781. Look at those tits!Copy !req
782. I wish I was a man so I could just
screw myself right to the floor.Copy !req
783. And I dare you to feel that ass, Fazio.
That's prime.Copy !req
784. - All you had to do was wish for it?
- You got it!Copy !req
785. - Thanks!
- You! Give that back to me!Copy !req
786. You give it back! Give it back right now!Copy !req
787. Thanks for the loan, Loretta. I owe you.Copy !req
788. You flaming faggola!Copy !req
789. But since there's a mirror in the room,Copy !req
790. I might as well just stick around
and enjoy it.Copy !req
791. All right, this had better work.Copy !req
792. I wish...Copy !req
793. I wish that I was the greatest magician
in the world!Copy !req
794. I am just so damn gorgeous.Copy !req
795. They're gonna want me like
they never wanted anybody before.Copy !req
796. And I'm gonna make 'em pay.Copy !req
797. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
798. I'm a leprechaun, me lass,
and I'm gonna make you pay.Copy !req
799. What do you want?Copy !req
800. Your boobs are big, your butt is small,
but still you're in for quite a fall.Copy !req
801. - What are you talking about?
- What, didn't you hear?Copy !req
802. Bigger is good, but jumbo is dear.Copy !req
803. I'll give you boobs that come out to here.Copy !req
804. My babies!Copy !req
805. What are you doing to my babies?Copy !req
806. Those delightful lips,
they'll get you some tips.Copy !req
807. But what about these?
Aren't they big enough to please?Copy !req
808. No! What are you doing?Copy !req
809. A delightful little slut.
But what about your butt?Copy !req
810. You little monster!Copy !req
811. Oh, my God!Copy !req
812. Feels like rain!Copy !req
813. Now that was quite a load
to have to explode.Copy !req
814. What a lovely lass.
I had to blow up your ass.Copy !req
815. But now I must hit the road.Copy !req
816. That's where I found the poor guy lying.Copy !req
817. - And you think the leprechaun did it?
- Who else?Copy !req
818. Now, there was something on the computer
about gold coins and wishes.Copy !req
819. Finding the leprechaun's gold is hard to do.Copy !req
820. He sometimes keeps it in his hat,
or hides it in the loo.Copy !req
821. That's a big help.Copy !req
822. If you destroy his gold,
you destroy the leprechaun,Copy !req
823. but mortals
can never resist the power of gold.Copy !req
824. To them, being rich is more important
than doing what needs to be done.Copy !req
825. No way.
We find that gold, we're getting rid of it.Copy !req
826. - Oh, no! How can you say that, darling?
- What?Copy !req
827. I didn't say that. Did I?Copy !req
828. Oh!Copy !req
829. What's wrong?Copy !req
830. Get it out of sight!Copy !req
831. - What is it?
- Just get it out!Copy !req
832. Okay. Is that better?Copy !req
833. Yeah. I'm okay, I...Copy !req
834. I feel so weird.Copy !req
835. Look, Scott, I think we should
just get in your car and get out of here,Copy !req
836. - while we still can.
- I can't.Copy !req
837. You need to see a doctor.Copy !req
838. Not yet.Copy !req
839. There's something here,
something I need or want very badly.Copy !req
840. I don't know what it is.Copy !req
841. Maybe you should go.Copy !req
842. No way. I'm not leaving you, Scott.Copy !req
843. Wow!Copy !req
844. Look at all this stuff.Copy !req
845. Yeah, it's like a junkyard in here.Copy !req
846. Spooky.Copy !req
847. What exactly are we looking for?Copy !req
848. I'm not sure.
Some clue as to what happened to me.Copy !req
849. Wait here, darlin'. I think I'm onto somethin'.Copy !req
850. I can smell it!Copy !req
851. Delicious!Copy !req
852. Ah!Copy !req
853. Isn't it lovely?Copy !req
854. A pot of gold for the taking.Copy !req
855. - Scott, you found it!
- Aye, that I did!Copy !req
856. We can destroy it.
Remember what the computer said?Copy !req
857. If we destroy the gold, we get rid
of the leprechaun once and for all.Copy !req
858. - Destroy it?
- Yeah! We have to.Copy !req
859. No, lass. We need to study it.Copy !req
860. Aye. We need to look at
what jingles and jangles.Copy !req
861. For science, you know,
is the study of angles.Copy !req
862. Scott! What is happening?Copy !req
863. Nothing. Nothing, my beauty, nothing at all.
I'm just being sensible.Copy !req
864. No, you're not!Copy !req
865. Don't take a leprechaun's gold!Copy !req
866. Not if you want to live to be ripe and old.Copy !req
867. - You're hurting me!
- Am I?Copy !req
868. Wow.Copy !req
869. What happened?Copy !req
870. I don't know, but don't let it happen again,
because you're scaring me to death.Copy !req
871. If anyone's scared to death,
then it'll be me doing the scaring.Copy !req
872. What...Copy !req
873. I don't like what I'm seeing.Copy !req
874. Two leprechauns is one too many, lad.Copy !req
875. Scott! The gold! The gold!
Make a wish. Wish him dead.Copy !req
876. All right, little monster!Copy !req
877. I wish you were encased in cement
at the bottom of the ocean!Copy !req
878. Oh, no, please! Anything but that!Copy !req
879. Ya silly little twit!Copy !req
880. Have you forgotten the charm?Copy !req
881. A leprechaun's gold can do him no harm.Copy !req
882. Scott!Copy !req
883. So, for pulling this trick,
I'll chop off your dick!Copy !req
884. Oh, me little darling!Copy !req
885. - Nice pitch.
- Come on!Copy !req
886. I pitch for the Vegas All-Stars.Copy !req
887. Oh, me achin' noggin!Copy !req
888. When I catch up with those two
I'll give them a good scragging.Copy !req
889. - Oh, no, Scott! Starting again?
- Yeah.Copy !req
890. My insides...Copy !req
891. I feel like I'm being torn apart.Copy !req
892. Oh, no!Copy !req
893. Scott, we're going to the hospital now!Copy !req
894. Get in!Copy !req
895. You can run, me boyo, but you can't hide!Copy !req
896. Scott!Copy !req
897. - What happened?
- He bit me.Copy !req
898. At the casino.Copy !req
899. Miss! Miss!Copy !req
900. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
901. - Can we get some help here?
- What's the trouble here?Copy !req
902. What the hell is this?Copy !req
903. Get me a gurney.
Get this man into isolation, stat!Copy !req
904. Come on!Copy !req
905. - Just wait here, miss.
- No, I wanna be with him.Copy !req
906. Nobody's gonna be with him
until we know what the problem is.Copy !req
907. Oh, God!Copy !req
908. - Get out of the road!
- Eat it.Copy !req
909. Looks like some kind of virulent fungus.
I've never seen anything like it.Copy !req
910. Must be metastasizing
down the right quadrant,Copy !req
911. moving into the lower thoracic area.Copy !req
912. Let's get this man on antibiotics right away!Copy !req
913. Hold him, for God's sake! Hold him!Copy !req
914. Take it easy, son. We're here to help.Copy !req
915. Give him another sedative, damn it!Copy !req
916. Now listen to me!Copy !req
917. This may mean the difference
between living and dying.Copy !req
918. Do you have health insurance?Copy !req
919. Do you take Green Cross?Copy !req
920. Good God!Copy !req
921. Forktus glottis!Copy !req
922. What the hell is taking them so long?Copy !req
923. Tammy Larsen, please report to the morgue.Copy !req
924. Oh, no!Copy !req
925. Tammy Larsen, please report to the morgue.Copy !req
926. Doctor, look at this!Copy !req
927. - That's his blood?
- What the hell is going on?Copy !req
928. Bring me his encephalogram.Copy !req
929. Really?Copy !req
930. Where's his EKG?Copy !req
931. If this is some sort of joke,
I don't find it at all amusing.Copy !req
932. Well, maybe he doesn't
need health insurance.Copy !req
933. Wow! Should I order
a few more tests, Doctor?Copy !req
934. Well, let's see...Copy !req
935. He can afford an MRI,
and let's give him a couple more EKGs,Copy !req
936. - and he can use a spinal tap.
- Maybe a bone scan?Copy !req
937. All right. Let's just start with every test
that begins with the letter A,Copy !req
938. - tomorrow we'll do the B's and Thursday...
- You play golf on Thursday.Copy !req
939. Well, this is an emergency.Copy !req
940. Hello?Copy !req
941. Hello?Copy !req
942. Is anybody here?Copy !req
943. Hello?Copy !req
944. Hello? Sir?Copy !req
945. Excuse me?Copy !req
946. Sir?Copy !req
947. Excuse me, sir...Copy !req
948. Oh, God! No!Copy !req
949. Let me go, you son of a bitch!Copy !req
950. Now, that's no way to speak about
me mother, bless her greedy soul.Copy !req
951. Now, me boyos, I'll be checking out!Copy !req
952. Take care of the patient!Copy !req
953. An angel of mercy!Copy !req
954. Nurse! Sedate this patient!Copy !req
955. Ah!Copy !req
956. Now that's what I call managed health care.Copy !req
957. What's that I smell?Copy !req
958. Would it be me brother from hell?Copy !req
959. Right. Now that you're in place,
I'll slice up your face.Copy !req
960. Oh, no! Scott! Scott, help me! Please!Copy !req
961. Now don't be afraid, lass.
I'll only remove the front part.Copy !req
962. Oh, no, please!Copy !req
963. I want me shilling!Copy !req
964. I don't have it. I swear, I don't have it.Copy !req
965. What a pity.Copy !req
966. Wait. I don't suppose you want that nose...
There will be no charge for removing it.Copy !req
967. No! No! No!Copy !req
968. Cut her nose and I'll hack off your toes!Copy !req
969. Back off, you renegade,
before I make you eat that blade!Copy !req
970. Power to power, you've much to learn,Copy !req
971. taller or shorter, I'll make you burn.Copy !req
972. Oh!Copy !req
973. Now where's me shilling?Copy !req
974. Fazio's the one with your shilling!
It's him you should be killing!Copy !req
975. Fazio's magic, pathetic and lame,Copy !req
976. will soon turn tragic
and me shilling I'll claim!Copy !req
977. Leave him alone. You've got what you want.Copy !req
978. No, me dear, you shall not pass.
I'll raise me boot and kick your...Copy !req
979. Put it away!Copy !req
980. Ladies and gentlemen, The Burning Beauty!Copy !req
981. A new illusion I have just developed!Copy !req
982. Now, for the first time on any stage,Copy !req
983. our lovely volunteer from the audienceCopy !req
984. trapped inside a burning hell.Copy !req
985. Will she come out alive?Copy !req
986. Or medium-well?Copy !req
987. He's going after the shilling.Copy !req
988. Fazio has it.Copy !req
989. I've got to destroy him to save meself.Copy !req
990. Is that possible? Will that work?Copy !req
991. I feel it. I'm part of whatever he is.Copy !req
992. Well, maybe we won't have to destroy him.Copy !req
993. If we can find the shilling,
we can wish you back to normal.Copy !req
994. Listen to me.
I don't want you going in with me.Copy !req
995. When we get to the casino, you drop me off.Copy !req
996. I want you to get out of there.
Go someplace. Someplace safe.Copy !req
997. No!Copy !req
998. We started this together.Copy !req
999. We're gonna finish it that way.Copy !req
1000. And now, a word of warning.Copy !req
1001. If any of you in the audience
are the least bit squeamish,Copy !req
1002. I suggest you leave the theater.Copy !req
1003. Fazio's illusions are very, very real!Copy !req
1004. - Who the hell are you?
- No reason for alarm.Copy !req
1005. Just give me the coin
and you'll come to no harm.Copy !req
1006. It'd be a cold day in hell
before I give up this coin, pal,Copy !req
1007. so why don't you take a hike
before I call security?Copy !req
1008. You're making a mistake.
As a magician, you're a pathetic fake.Copy !req
1009. Scott, hang on! We're almost there!Copy !req
1010. Hang on!Copy !req
1011. Get me out of this thing. Do you hear me?
Get me out!Copy !req
1012. A pleasure it'll be
to get you out, and set you freeCopy !req
1013. with this!Copy !req
1014. With Fazio the Great,
we've had a good laugh.Copy !req
1015. Shall I start up this saw and cut him in half?Copy !req
1016. Yeah or nay?Copy !req
1017. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!Copy !req
1018. - No!
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!Copy !req
1019. No, no, no!Copy !req
1020. My audience, no! No, you love me!
You love me! No!Copy !req
1021. I can't hear you, me dears!Copy !req
1022. No!Copy !req
1023. Oh, no!Copy !req
1024. Now, me boyo, where's me shilling?Copy !req
1025. You're bluffing!
There's a whole room full of witnesses.Copy !req
1026. Oh, too bad!Copy !req
1027. Forcing me to split in two
a nice young lad such as you.Copy !req
1028. I wish I was in Caesar's Palace right now!Copy !req
1029. No, lad. You've had your wish.Copy !req
1030. Now I'll have mine.Copy !req
1031. This way!Copy !req
1032. Caesar's Palace...Copy !req
1033. Listen to me, everybody!
This man's a maniac.Copy !req
1034. For your own safety, get out of the room!Copy !req
1035. Come on, everybody, out, hurry!Copy !req
1036. Out!Copy !req
1037. Hurry, hurry! Oh, God!Copy !req
1038. Scott! The shilling! I wish Scott was...Copy !req
1039. No wish for you, darling.Copy !req
1040. Now I'll peel you like a grape.Copy !req
1041. Hold it!Copy !req
1042. Now wait, lad.
What are you doing? We're brothers.Copy !req
1043. I don't think so.Copy !req
1044. Scott, come over to the green side.
I'll make you rich.Copy !req
1045. - There it is, yours for the taking.
- You'll share nothing!Copy !req
1046. I know how you are, you're only bluffing.Copy !req
1047. Trust me, lad,
one devilish creature to another.Copy !req
1048. That's me boy. We're alike, me and you.
Evil as hell all the way through.Copy !req
1049. No, Scott!Copy !req
1050. He's not like you!Copy !req
1051. Don't listen to him.Copy !req
1052. She's right!Copy !req
1053. I'm not like you. I'll never be like you!Copy !req
1054. Put it down, lad, you can't hurt me.
You should know that by now.Copy !req
1055. Think of the gold, Scott,
the power it can give you.Copy !req
1056. The gold, Scott. His power lies in the gold.Copy !req
1057. We'll share it, I promise.Copy !req
1058. Share this, pal!Copy !req
1059. No, not me gold!Copy !req
1060. Scott! Scott!Copy !req
1061. Oh, my God! You're back!Copy !req
1062. You're normal again.Copy !req
1063. I can't believe it!Copy !req
1064. I can't wait to get out of here
and leave this nightmare behind.Copy !req
1065. Well, we won't be leaving it all behind.Copy !req
1066. What do you mean?Copy !req
1067. I found this.Copy !req
1068. What do you think?Copy !req
1069. We can have just about anything we want.Copy !req
1070. It's your call.Copy !req
1071. I don't know,
I think I have everything I want.Copy !req
1072. You know something, sweetheart?Copy !req
1073. This could be the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.Copy !req