1. PresentsCopy !req
2. Based on the Play by
Screenplay byCopy !req
3. Music byCopy !req
4. Performed by Karel Vlach's OrchestraCopy !req
5. And the Film Symphony Orchestra
Conducted byCopy !req
6. Lyrics I Sung by Choreography byCopy !req
7. Art DirectorCopy !req
8. Sound Editor I Film EditorCopy !req
9. Make Up Artist I Costume Designer
Animation I Art Director's AssistantCopy !req
10. Set Designer I Costumes by I Make UpCopy !req
11. Editor's Assistant
Chief Lighting TechnicianCopy !req
12. Sound Effects I Still PhotographerCopy !req
13. Associate Producers
Production AssistantCopy !req
14. Second Cameraman I Camera Assistant
Special EffectsCopy !req
15. Co-Director I Director's AssistantsCopy !req
16. CastCopy !req
17. Executive in Charge of ProductionCopy !req
18. Artistic CooperationCopy !req
19. Director of PhotographyCopy !req
20. Directed byCopy !req
21. Made byCopy !req
22. This movie is dedicated to the rough
heroes of the Wild WestCopy !req
23. who avenged injustice and protected
the Law - no matter what.Copy !req
24. Enough dog fighting, fellows!Copy !req
25. Let's tap a different keg now,
let art entertain us!Copy !req
26. Let us welcome our grandiose diva,Copy !req
27. our fabulous Arizona Warbler...Copy !req
28. Miss Tornado Lou!Copy !req
29. She will be mine!Copy !req
30. As the saloon thickens with smoke
and liquor from my glass I drink,Copy !req
31. I dream my hero will come one day,
my heart's true champion, I dare say.Copy !req
32. Only to him I will gladly grant
all that is precious to my heart.Copy !req
33. I've no idea, if he comes soon.
Again smoke spreads in the saloon.Copy !req
34. - What's she saying?
- Something about smoke in the saloon.Copy !req
35. - What bloke?
- Smoke! There's too much smoke here!Copy !req
36. As the saloon thickens with smoke
and liquor from my glass I drink,Copy !req
37. I dream my hero will come one day,Copy !req
38. my heart's true champion, I daresay.Copy !req
39. The drinks are on me, gentlemen!Copy !req
40. One Kill Devil for me!Copy !req
41. Lou, you must be mine!Copy !req
42. I dream my hero will come one day,
the champion of my heart...Copy !req
43. Why can't I be your champion?
Doug Badman.Copy !req
44. The owner of the flourishing
Trigger Whiskey Saloon. Why not?Copy !req
45. I dream of a man who would
make me a different, better woman.Copy !req
46. Pooh! Silly dreams!Copy !req
47. Only then I will learn what
the sacred feeling of love really is.Copy !req
48. I'm dead certain.Copy !req
49. Gimme a super Kill Devil!Copy !req
50. Hearken, my dear friends!
The Arizona Revival calls you!Copy !req
51. Take this instead, my good man.Copy !req
52. Read it and you shall
bless my doings.Copy !req
53. Read this, my friends.Copy !req
54. Once you've read it,
you will never touch liquor again.Copy !req
55. The Arizona Revival...Copy !req
56. A commune of brothers and sistersCopy !req
57. who will pay the ransom to liberate you
from the slavery of alcoholism.Copy !req
58. My friends...Copy !req
59. My friends, are you afraid
our Wild West will be less wildCopy !req
60. if you fill your glasses
with spring waterCopy !req
61. or even fresh milk? Uhm...Copy !req
62. - On the contrary...
- On the contrary...Copy !req
63. If you give up spirits,
you'll draw your pistols even faster.Copy !req
64. Be frank, mister gunman. Does liquor
really make you a sharper shooter?Copy !req
65. Isn't it so, Daddy?Copy !req
66. My fiddle! My fiddle!Copy !req
67. My poor fiddle!Copy !req
68. The kitten is showing her claws?
Let's give her some milk!Copy !req
69. One Kill Devil for the little lady here!Copy !req
70. And a glass of Kolaloka
lemonade for me.Copy !req
71. Did you say a glass of Kolaloka
lemonade, stranger?Copy !req
72. I did, mister gunman.Copy !req
73. Then you must be...Copy !req
74. Lemonade Joe!Copy !req
75. So what?Copy !req
76. I believe that this young lady
and this gentlemanCopy !req
77. are waiting for your apology,
mister gunman!Copy !req
78. You'd better fall
on your dirty knees before themCopy !req
79. and call yourself a mangy coyote,
you foul skunk!Copy !req
80. I will count to three.Copy !req
81. If you do not apologize,Copy !req
82. I will let my Smith and Wesson
guns speak.Copy !req
83. That are hanging darn low.Copy !req
84. Right.Copy !req
85. Well?Copy !req
86. One, two, three.Copy !req
87. It's him, my heart's true champion.Copy !req
88. There are ladies present, mister gunman.Copy !req
89. Thank you.
You are our brave rescuer.Copy !req
90. My name is Ezra Goodman.Copy !req
91. And this is my daughter Winnifred.Copy !req
92. They call me Lemonade Joe.Copy !req
93. And me the Arizona Warbler.Copy !req
94. Tornado Lou, I'm a performer.Copy !req
95. I asked for a glass of Kolaloka
lemonade.Copy !req
96. How about a shot of Trigger Whiskey
instead? On the house.Copy !req
97. No, thank you, I never touch spirits
out of principle.Copy !req
98. Liquor has never been
a gunman's best friend.Copy !req
99. It weakens the whole body
and particularly one's accurate aim.Copy !req
100. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!Copy !req
101. So, bartender, a glass
of Kolaloka lemonade for me.Copy !req
102. - For me too!
- Me too. - And one for me.Copy !req
103. We don't sell Kolaloka lemonade!Copy !req
104. In that case, allow me to
use my own supplies.Copy !req
105. Thank you, Mr. Kolaloka!Copy !req
106. - Don't go!
- Don't go!Copy !req
107. I'll be back.Copy !req
108. Don't bother!Copy !req
109. And I won't come alone,
Doug Badman.Copy !req
110. I will bring the Law!Copy !req
111. A fellow revivalist...
Hip hip, Arizona!Copy !req
112. Or am I mistaken?Copy !req
113. You are a member
of the Arizona Revival, are you not?Copy !req
114. No. I am a lone wolf.Copy !req
115. You're a knight protecting the law
and avenging wrongdoing!Copy !req
116. - A fine day, isn't it?
- Yes, quite nice.Copy !req
117. Lovely.Copy !req
118. Pettifoggers!
No dead bodies so far.Copy !req
119. Let's hope the weather lasts.Copy !req
120. Well, a little rain would do no harm.Copy !req
121. But the good gunman wishes
the weather to last.Copy !req
122. Help, robbers!Copy !req
123. - Do you like gunfights, miss...
- Winnifred.Copy !req
124. A lovely name.Copy !req
125. A lovely name indeed.Copy !req
126. We want Kolaloka!
We want Kolaloka!Copy !req
127. Do you believe
in its beneficial effects now?Copy !req
128. I certainly do.Copy !req
129. Have faith, my friends!Copy !req
130. Faith can move mountains.Copy !req
131. So why couldn't it bring you supplies
from Kolaloka and Son?Copy !req
132. Adios!Copy !req
133. You love him, my child,
don't you?Copy !req
134. Yes, I do love him!Copy !req
135. Tornado Lou...Copy !req
136. An untamed lioness, a raging tempest,
a femme fatale...Copy !req
137. You and that wacky lemonade sucker?Copy !req
138. Don't be vulgar!Copy !req
139. Only he can make me a different,
better woman!Copy !req
140. Only to him, my dearest mother,Copy !req
141. I will give the greatest treasure
of my womanhood.Copy !req
142. After we get married, of course!Copy !req
143. Dear Lord, I beg Thee to send me
Kolaloka lemonade!Copy !req
144. Mr. Goodman! Mr. Goodman!
A telegram! A telegram!Copy !req
145. A telegram...
Pardon me!Copy !req
146. Mr. Goodman!Copy !req
147. A telegram...Copy !req
148. - We are sending you ten carloads of lemonade.
- Stop.Copy !req
149. - On long term credit.
- Stop.Copy !req
150. - We also appoint you as our general agent...
- Stop.Copy !req
151. For Stetson City
and the surrounding area.Copy !req
152. Kolaloka and Son.Copy !req
153. Oh, Hosanna!Copy !req
154. Arizona, Arizona is a land
where true men you will find.Copy !req
155. Cards are flipping, bullets whizzing,
you may hear cattle joyfully mooing.Copy !req
156. It's such a pleasant place to be,
you'll never regret settling here.Copy !req
157. Our Arizona men are so polite
and gentle to us women.Copy !req
158. With their gentlemanly blow
they give them villains what for.Copy !req
159. And to show they are progressive,
they shoot straight from their hip.Copy !req
160. Pif! Paf!Copy !req
161. When a Kolaloka consumer shoots,
there's no need to call a doctor.Copy !req
162. Come on, boys, come on!Copy !req
163. How could he vanish from my life,
the true champion of my heart.Copy !req
164. In my dreams I'm by his side,
the sweetheart of my life.Copy !req
165. Forget about him, darling!Copy !req
166. Business may be bad
but I'm still disgustingly rich.Copy !req
167. Let's go to Europe.Copy !req
168. To Paris, Monte Carlo, Carlsbad!Copy !req
169. Grimpo will carry our luggage.Copy !req
170. Serve the stranger.Copy !req
171. - You've insulted the lady!
- I don't see any lady.Copy !req
172. I see you're a vegetarian?Copy !req
173. Give them back to him as soon as
he starts behaving like a good boy.Copy !req
174. Brother!Copy !req
175. Bro...
brother?Copy !req
176. - A cocoa spot...
- Of the size of a Mexican dollar!Copy !req
177. Our precious birthmark.Copy !req
178. - Horace!
- Doug!Copy !req
179. - It's been a long time...
- Since we shared the sad fate of foundlings.Copy !req
180. Found on the prairie by darn
rough buffalo hunters.Copy !req
181. When we used to hang around
the gay towns of the frontier.Copy !req
182. Dodge City!Copy !req
183. Abilene!Copy !req
184. When we used to ambush stagecoaches,
rob banks and shoot sheriffs.Copy !req
185. - The jolly days of our youth!
- Well...Copy !req
186. It ain't exactly crowded here.Copy !req
187. Is there any way I can help you,
you old rattlesnake?Copy !req
188. I've got really tough competition.Copy !req
189. Pah!Copy !req
190. Did you say "pah", stranger?Copy !req
191. Yes, I did say "pah"!Copy !req
192. Pah to Kolaloka lemonade?Copy !req
193. Yes!Copy !req
194. Pah to Kolaloka lemonade!Copy !req
195. A lunatic!Copy !req
196. An anarchist!Copy !req
197. No, gentlemen.
I am neither.Copy !req
198. I am...Copy !req
199. Hogofogo!Copy !req
200. Hogofogo!Copy !req
201. Yes, Hogofogo!Copy !req
202. With 12 notches
on the butt of my Derringer.Copy !req
203. Hogofogo wanted by the police
in five states!Copy !req
204. And arrested in Stetson City!Copy !req
205. It's embarrassing
but you have won.Copy !req
206. Hogofogo...Copy !req
207. Hey, bartender, a proper drink
for a proper gunman.Copy !req
208. - You mean Kolaloka lemonade, don't you?
- No!Copy !req
209. - I mean Trigger Whiskey!
- We don't sell alcoholic beverages!Copy !req
210. A big mistake!Copy !req
211. If consumed in small doses, alcohol
is harmless in whatever quantity.Copy !req
212. Am I dreaming or am I awake?Copy !req
213. I'll rub off your bloom,
my sweet blossom.Copy !req
214. I am struck by Cupid's arrow.Copy !req
215. Where can I soothe my aching heart
with a glass of Trigger Whiskey? Where?Copy !req
216. - Where?
- Only at the Trigger Whiskey Saloon, mister gunman!Copy !req
217. And where can I enjoy the company
of real men?Copy !req
218. There as well!Copy !req
219. By the way...Copy !req
220. I believe you ought to change
their diapers, mademoiselle.Copy !req
221. - This way.
- This way.Copy !req
222. Whiskey is my mucho gusto
without it my mouth is dry and dusty.Copy !req
223. If my dad had drunk whiskey every day
he'd still be alive and kicking today.Copy !req
224. When a shot sparkles in your hand
the saloon profits are more than grand.Copy !req
225. Life's worth living and that's no trickCopy !req
226. when you've got
heaps of whiskey to drink.Copy !req
227. Its fancy label and nicely round bottleCopy !req
228. makes even Manitou long after firewater.Copy !req
229. Who wants to be a real man,
should be fond of his glassCopy !req
230. filled with whiskey to the top
and a gal sitting on his lap.Copy !req
231. Whiskey is my mucho gusto
without it my mouth is dry and dusty.Copy !req
232. If my dad had drunk whiskey every day
he'd still be alive and kicking today.Copy !req
233. When a shot sparkles in your hand
the saloon profits are more than grand.Copy !req
234. Life's worth living and that's no trickCopy !req
235. when you've got
heaps of whiskey to drink.Copy !req
236. Its fancy label and nicely round bottleCopy !req
237. makes even Manitou long after firewater.Copy !req
238. Who wants to be a real man,
should be fond of his glassCopy !req
239. filled with whiskey to the top
and a gal sitting on his lap.Copy !req
240. Whiskey is my mucho gusto
without it my mouth is dry and dusty.Copy !req
241. If my dad had drunk whiskey every day
he'd still be alive and kicking today.Copy !req
242. When a shot sparkles in your hand
the saloon profits are more than grand.Copy !req
243. Life's worth living and that's no trickCopy !req
244. when you've got...Copy !req
245. when you've got...Copy !req
246. when you've got
heaps of whiskey to drink.Copy !req
247. That will do!Copy !req
248. No!
Not her!Copy !req
249. Oh yes!
She's all I want!Copy !req
250. - Mother dear, will I ever be his...
- Oh yes!Copy !req
251. You will be mine!
Here, on holy soil.Copy !req
252. - My sweet duckling.
- You creepy spider!Copy !req
253. - My fair fawn! - You slimy snake!
- Enough zoology!Copy !req
254. So...
Now you know everything.Copy !req
255. Protector of the Law, avenger
of injustice, while...Copy !req
256. While I'm just
a travelling salesman selling lemonade.Copy !req
257. - Do you despise me?
- How can you say such a thing?Copy !req
258. An accredited sales agent of Kolaloka
and Son for the whole Southwest?Copy !req
259. - With a net salary of one grand.
- And a 10% bonus before taxes!Copy !req
260. Darling! I'm all yours!Copy !req
261. If you give me 5% from your bonus.Copy !req
262. 4%
- I'll give you even 4.5%, sweetheart.Copy !req
263. Am I worthy of you at all?
Are you a woman or an angel?Copy !req
264. No! Not now!Copy !req
265. I understand,
not here at the cemetery.Copy !req
266. Never mind the cemetery!Copy !req
267. - My Daddy's business will soon go bankrupt.
- What happened?Copy !req
268. Don't you see my thirsty lips
and my yearning body?Copy !req
269. My fervent heart is broken into pieces,
while yours is as cold as ice.Copy !req
270. I know my love is like flame,
burning me from the inside.Copy !req
271. When I see a man,
I'm done for, Amen.Copy !req
272. And my heart's not to blame.Copy !req
273. I said I'd be back, Doug Badman.Copy !req
274. And that I would bring the Law.Copy !req
275. Or Kolaloka.Copy !req
276. Kolaloka is the Law.Copy !req
277. I'm not armed, gunman.Copy !req
278. I'd be wasting my bullets
on you, trickster!Copy !req
279. Don't you see my thirsty lipsCopy !req
280. and my arms reaching out to you?Copy !req
281. Embrace me in your manly arms and take
what has always belonged to you.Copy !req
282. Hold me in your arms,
it can't do me no harm,Copy !req
283. My ill fame is black as coal tar!Copy !req
284. Coal tar...Copy !req
285. Don't shoot!Copy !req
286. Thank you,
I can handle this myself.Copy !req
287. Fire! Don't fire! Fire!
Don't fire! Fire! Don't fire!Copy !req
288. Fire! Don't fire! Fire!
Don't fire! Fire! Don't fire!Copy !req
289. Take the lady away!Copy !req
290. I'll have a word with you later, barfly!Copy !req
291. Yes, sir.Copy !req
292. - Occupied.
- Never mind, I've got plenty of time.Copy !req
293. Once again, my friends,
Good has conquered Evil.Copy !req
294. And thanks to what?Copy !req
295. - To what?
- Kolaloka lemonade!Copy !req
296. Right, thanks to Kolaloka
the teetotaler is the winner!Copy !req
297. And the boozer is the loser!Copy !req
298. What's he saying?Copy !req
299. He's playing on words.
The boozer is the loser.Copy !req
300. It seems rather out of tune.Copy !req
301. And it'll be even more
after it hears this...Copy !req
302. Listen to this divine serenade
about the amazing Kolaloka lemonade.Copy !req
303. With my Smith and Wesson at my hip...Copy !req
304. At his hip.Copy !req
305. Kolakola lemonade I always sip.Copy !req
306. Bread or butter or pretty girls
I can do without for many days.Copy !req
307. My seventh heaven, my livelihood
is Kolaloka lemonade for good.Copy !req
308. Everybody for Kolaloka!Copy !req
309. What is ammo for a colt,
what is water for a trout,Copy !req
310. what is whatever you like,
what is soda for whiskey,Copy !req
311. what is a rhyme for a poem,
what is a strophe for a rhyme...Copy !req
312. That's exactly what
Kolaloloka is for me.Copy !req
313. That's what Kolaloka is for me.
Kolaloka.Copy !req
314. No! That!Copy !req
315. You have Kolaloka in your bed?Copy !req
316. At least Kolaloka...Copy !req
317. Lou. Take a look.Copy !req
318. Take a look.
They are worth 500 cattle.Copy !req
319. Fancy 250 beasts hanging
from each of your ears.Copy !req
320. It's easier to give than to take.Copy !req
321. How easily I would give myself...Copy !req
322. To him.Copy !req
323. - Only for whites, nigger!
- Don't be silly, he's at my heels!Copy !req
324. Forgive me for entering
without knocking.Copy !req
325. Do sit down.Copy !req
326. Thank you.
I'll rather remain standing.Copy !req
327. This gentleman, however,
would like to sit downCopy !req
328. and practice his signature.Copy !req
329. You want me to sign this?Copy !req
330. I do.Copy !req
331. If on the trigger you want to be quick,
Kolaloka is what you should drink!Copy !req
332. Hogofogo.
Thank you for your autograph.Copy !req
333. This deserves a drink.
May I, miss?Copy !req
334. Well, a sip of spring water
will do me no harm.Copy !req
335. Oh, spirits!Copy !req
336. I'll be yours, Doug,
if you spare him!Copy !req
337. - It's a deal!
- But not for me!Copy !req
338. To kill a defenseless man?
What villainy!Copy !req
339. Villainy?
The word is music to my ears.Copy !req
340. There!Copy !req
341. There's no greater pleasure
for a true villain like meCopy !req
342. than to empty his gun barrel
on his sworn enemy.Copy !req
343. Cold and stiff will soon be
a man once so brave.Copy !req
344. In no time he will be feeding
worms in his grave.Copy !req
345. Let's finish this off
in the easiest way.Copy !req
346. One bullet in his belly
another between the eyes.Copy !req
347. Cold and stiff will soon be
a man once so brave.Copy !req
348. Faster than he can say Jesse James.Copy !req
349. Go away, my friend.Copy !req
350. - But Lou, you promised...
- Yes, I did promise...Copy !req
351. I'm yours
but you have to go away now.Copy !req
352. - Where are they?
- Gone!Copy !req
353. - How come I'm still alive?
- Because of me.Copy !req
354. That's strange. You have saved
my life a second time.Copy !req
355. - Why?
- Because I love you.Copy !req
356. - Only you can make me a different, better woman.
- Alright...Copy !req
357. And what do you want in return?Copy !req
358. - For what?
- For saving my life.Copy !req
359. But I love you.Copy !req
360. That's why it will cost me even more.Copy !req
361. You cannot buy love!Copy !req
362. I see now. You love me free
of charge, don't you?Copy !req
363. You poor wretch.Copy !req
364. You have all the right to become
a different, better woman.Copy !req
365. Do you know what this is?
It's a cheque for 5 dollars.Copy !req
366. Five dollars in words.Copy !req
367. Take a good look at it.Copy !req
368. And maybe it will bring more
decent thoughts into your mind.Copy !req
369. How low you have fallen!Copy !req
370. I hate you!
I hate you!Copy !req
371. Adios!Copy !req
372. I hate you!Copy !req
373. Lincoln and Kolaloka,
that's something new.Copy !req
374. Where the hell does
he get such ideas?Copy !req
375. - Who knows... where.
- It's all over the town.Copy !req
376. - Joe must die.
- I'm all for it!Copy !req
377. Does it mean that you
don't love him anymore?Copy !req
378. - I want to spit on his coffin.
- So do I.Copy !req
379. - But how do we get him into it?
- You're a man, aren't you?Copy !req
380. We're men, aren't we?Copy !req
381. Is anybody here?Copy !req
382. Good people.Copy !req
383. That's even better.Copy !req
384. Good people,
give a blind old manCopy !req
385. a sip of refreshing and strengthening
Kolaloka lemonade.Copy !req
386. Horace, why the silly disguise?Copy !req
387. - Because Joe will pay dearly for it.
- Tell us how!Copy !req
388. When tomorrow morning,
in Main Street...Copy !req
389. - Goodbye, darling.
- Bye.Copy !req
390. Let me take you across
the street, sir.Copy !req
391. Get lost, you little bastard!Copy !req
392. May I take you across
the street, my dear man?Copy !req
393. - May the Lord reward you, young man.
- Oh, I'm not...Copy !req
394. Madam
- I'm not married yet.Copy !req
395. Not for long, miss.Copy !req
396. Oh, the sidewalk.
The Lord would reward you even moreCopy !req
397. if you take me
to the Trigger Whiskey Saloon.Copy !req
398. - To the Trigger Whiskey Saloon?
- You must be wonderingCopy !req
399. what an old man like me wants
in a place like that, aren't you?Copy !req
400. Livelihood. One has
to earn one's living.Copy !req
401. Their piano needs tuning, you see.Copy !req
402. I'm an old, blind, sick, lonely,Copy !req
403. and poor, very poor piano tuner.Copy !req
404. I know every piano in Arizona.Copy !req
405. And I tune...
Where's the door?Copy !req
406. And I tune... Which way? This way.
I tune pianos from dawn till dusk.Copy !req
407. May the Lord give you good
earnings, my good man.Copy !req
408. As I can hear, nobody is in.Copy !req
409. - Oh, a sofa.
- No, it's me.Copy !req
410. See? It seems it would be best
if you walk me to the piano.Copy !req
411. I smell vice here.Copy !req
412. It's the foreign perfumes
of the fallen women.Copy !req
413. A minor is all I have left.Copy !req
414. Oh, it seems to be very serious.Copy !req
415. Goodbye.Copy !req
416. Goodbye, mister tuner.Copy !req
417. You're a true artist, poor man!Copy !req
418. I used to be long ago.Copy !req
419. Grand pianos took me
to the highest circles.Copy !req
420. I played before crowned heads.Copy !req
421. - And then...
- What then?Copy !req
422. - Bad company and spirits.
- Hellish spirits!Copy !req
423. And poker, miss.Copy !req
424. Squinting at other player's cards
under poor illuminationCopy !req
425. cost me my eyesight. And thenCopy !req
426. - What then?
- Gwendolin...Copy !req
427. She was an angel, bearing her
fiancé's downfall as a cross,Copy !req
428. she was fading before my eyes till
- Till?Copy !req
429. - Till what?
- Till...Copy !req
430. Till she passed away.
I see it as if it were today.Copy !req
431. Straight from the hospital I walk,
where among its walls so drearyCopy !req
432. a girl with snow white skin is lying,
so weak and weary.Copy !req
433. Yesterday her doctor told me:Copy !req
434. Your girl is badly off.Copy !req
435. Today I find her body all covered
with a cloth.Copy !req
436. Tomorrow there'll be nine girls at the
graveyard, so fair and dressed in black.Copy !req
437. Yet only eight of them will walk
that day from the cemetery gate.Copy !req
438. Right before my eyes
the world turned suddenly black,Copy !req
439. I don't give a damn now,
I'm ready to face my fate.Copy !req
440. And when I kick the bucket,
forget about sorrow and don't regret.Copy !req
441. It'll be a grand spectacle
the West will never forget.Copy !req
442. With rings on my fingers,
on my jacket a diamond pinCopy !req
443. to tarp up my stiff corps
lying in the coffin.Copy !req
444. The purpose of these trinkets
is to make everybody seeCopy !req
445. what a grand life I had lived
and what a hotshot I had once been.Copy !req
446. The funeral will be a sight
fit for the godsCopy !req
447. if the coffin is carried
by four heavyweight thugs.Copy !req
448. For being such a mobster,
always running wild,Copy !req
449. honky-tonk gals will escort
me to the yard,Copy !req
450. where a black band will be playing
smashing farewell tunes.Copy !req
451. I've come to the end of my
heart-breaking story,Copy !req
452. so grievous and woeful as the most
somber of all graveyard blues.Copy !req
453. You've suffered terribly, poor man.Copy !req
454. Oh yes, I've suffered.
But as I see, I mean as I can hear,Copy !req
455. your hankie is soaking wet.Copy !req
456. You've wept your kind heart into it.Copy !req
457. May I offer you my hankie,
as pure and untouched as you are?Copy !req
458. Thank you.Copy !req
459. Inhale, my gorgeous!Copy !req
460. Where are you going?Copy !req
461. Where I'm going?
What business is it of yours, sonny?Copy !req
462. It is my business.
Miss Goodman is my bride to be.Copy !req
463. They call me Lemonade Joe.Copy !req
464. Pleased to meet you,
I'm Doctor Quartz, a family doctor.Copy !req
465. - What's wrong with her?
- Nothing much.Copy !req
466. She got liquored up.
It's not for the first time.Copy !req
467. - That can't be. She hates liquor.
- She hates liquor?Copy !req
468. As far as I know she's quite fond
of moonshine and cologne.Copy !req
469. And her favorite is ether.
Smell for yourself!Copy !req
470. You're right.Copy !req
471. You'd better give me a hand with her.
I'll treat her in my surgery.Copy !req
472. In the meantime, you can comfort
her father, he needs it.Copy !req
473. So do I.Copy !req
474. Courage, young man, courage!Copy !req
475. Cheerio, blondie!Copy !req
476. Lemonade Joe...Copy !req
477. - ... Do you have any idea what a damn fool you are?
- I don't.Copy !req
478. I will tell you tonight at midnightCopy !req
479. in Dead Man's Valley.
Your fiancée will also be there.Copy !req
480. And that night she will become
the object of my innate perversion.Copy !req
481. I hope you will come
to congratulate me.Copy !req
482. Sincerely yours Horace Badman,Copy !req
483. alias Dr. Quartz,Copy !req
484. alias Hogofogo.Copy !req
485. Are the nights cold?Copy !req
486. - What's that?
- Are the nights cold?Copy !req
487. Oh yes.Copy !req
488. Then I should put on...Copy !req
489. My warm woollies.Copy !req
490. It was in Lincoln last year
when Jim Stapleton was playing poker.Copy !req
491. He got into a fight, the sheriff cuffed
him and took him the county jail.Copy !req
492. On the way to Santa Fe Jim told him:
Sheriff, whether you like it or not,Copy !req
493. I'll get away and be free as a bird.Copy !req
494. That evening at Johnny's Bar
we were sipping our coffee,Copy !req
495. wondering how's Jim doing
in good old Santa Fe.Copy !req
496. Then a lantern was smashed
with a big bangCopy !req
497. and the whole place
went pitch dark.Copy !req
498. A figure was standing in the doorway
and a shiver went down our back,Copy !req
499. it was suddenly clear
that it was some kind of a ghost.Copy !req
500. In Santa Fe at that very moment,Copy !req
501. I'm telling you all that I know,Copy !req
502. when he was climbing out the windowCopy !req
503. poor old Jim was shot dead.Copy !req
504. Get hold of him!Copy !req
505. Hold him!Copy !req
506. Stupid idiots!Copy !req
507. It's all a big mistake, madam.Copy !req
508. An inhospitable place indeed.Copy !req
509. - What's this?
- We want to take a picture with him.Copy !req
510. A souvenir?Copy !req
511. I want one too.Copy !req
512. The trap is all set, madam. Nothing
will help him get away this timeCopy !req
513. - Horace sends you this.
- Yuck, Kolaloka!Copy !req
514. It's whiskey!Copy !req
515. Don't hit the bottle, amigo,
we haven't won yet.Copy !req
516. Our bait.Copy !req
517. Why did you come here, madam?Copy !req
518. I want to see him die!Copy !req
519. Are you going to torture him?
Tell me all the disgusting details.Copy !req
520. A quite ingenious method of torture.Copy !req
521. Oh, how I hate him!Copy !req
522. Hands up, of course!Copy !req
523. May I ask you
to take their guns, miss?Copy !req
524. He's amazing!
Yet he must die.Copy !req
525. I'll be right there.Copy !req
526. Oh...
How thoughtful of you!Copy !req
527. If on the trigger you want to be quick,
Kolaloka is what you should drink!Copy !req
528. What have I done?Copy !req
529. I haven't stopped loving him!Copy !req
530. - Why aren't you eating?
- I have no appetiteCopy !req
531. when I think of the dirty trick
you played on that pure innocent girl.Copy !req
532. Purity and innocence!
What relish for a scamp like me.Copy !req
533. You beast, if it weren't for the cocoa
spot of the size of a Mexican dollar,Copy !req
534. I'd never believe you are my brother!Copy !req
535. Allow me to introduce the fellows.Copy !req
536. Coyote Kid and Pancho Kid.Copy !req
537. I don't give a fig about your kids.Copy !req
538. Soon you'll talk differently, sonny!Copy !req
539. I'm a double-dyed butcher.
See?Copy !req
540. - And torture's my sheer delight!
- No!Copy !req
541. No! No!Copy !req
542. - Don't listen to him, darling.
- I'll cover your ears!Copy !req
543. You should be ashamed of yourselves!Copy !req
544. In the end,
we'll throw you in here...Copy !req
545. That's horrible!Copy !req
546. Into this well.Copy !req
547. Then I'd like you to mark it clearly
as unfit for drinking!Copy !req
548. He's a saint.Copy !req
549. Yes, I am bad!Copy !req
550. But you don't know
how sad a fate of a foundling can be.Copy !req
551. Nothing but beating and despise...Copy !req
552. And in the end, unrequited love
that gave me ill advice.Copy !req
553. Can you ever forgive me?Copy !req
554. Poor little foundling.
I forgive you everything.Copy !req
555. He forgives me.Copy !req
556. Very nice, madam, but get
out my way now! I've got work to do!Copy !req
557. If you haven't got the nerve,
it's best you go home and let me work.Copy !req
558. When it's over,
I'll send a smoke signal to HoraceCopy !req
559. to get ready for a visit from the
dead man's fiancée.Copy !req
560. - Bring me a cigar!
- Three!Copy !req
561. You know what, soppy!
Say that Kolaloka is slip-slop.Copy !req
562. You stinking opossum!Copy !req
563. Say it again!Copy !req
564. You double-dyed stinking opossum!Copy !req
565. - Let's get going!
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
566. There!Copy !req
567. - Wait for this.
- Give it to me!Copy !req
568. Bravo, bravo!Copy !req
569. - Why the sudden change, madam?
- It was just a petty nervous breakdown.Copy !req
570. Let me add a final touch.Copy !req
571. There we go!Copy !req
572. To think I have forgiven you!Copy !req
573. Because you're a stuck up idiot!Copy !req
574. How about that souvenir picture?Copy !req
575. - Let me take it. - Why not?
- Fine!Copy !req
576. - Ehm... stand next to each other. Yes!
- Stand behind me.Copy !req
577. Why don't you sit on the well...Copy !req
578. - That's it. Yes!
- Sit on the well!Copy !req
579. And let me see your nice profiles!Copy !req
580. That's it! Coyote Kid a little bit
forward and Grimpo a little bit back.Copy !req
581. Yes, nicely together!Copy !req
582. Ready? Watch the birdie!Copy !req
583. - Joe!
- Winnie!Copy !req
584. I suffer and yet,
I give you my blessing.Copy !req
585. Well! He was an enemy
worthy of our respect after all.Copy !req
586. And what about my child?Copy !req
587. She'll fall victim
to my lowest urges.Copy !req
588. Oh, that's horrible!
Horrible!Copy !req
589. Poor father!Copy !req
590. Have you forgotten
that despite being foundlingsCopy !req
591. we still could have loving
parents somewhere?Copy !req
592. Forgot or not, life's extravaganza
is galloping like a wild mustangCopy !req
593. and nobody's interested in
what has happened in the first act.Copy !req
594. Where are you going?Copy !req
595. To fluff up the love nest.Copy !req
596. Bravo, girls.Copy !req
597. Spicy delicacies.Copy !req
598. Well chilled sparkling wine.Copy !req
599. Pictures kindling passion.Copy !req
600. Sensual waltz.Copy !req
601. My inevitable charm.Copy !req
602. An irresistible combination guaranteed
to melt the heart of every woman.Copy !req
603. - Father!
- Daughter!Copy !req
604. - Father-in-law!
- Son-in-law!Copy !req
605. - What is she doing here?
- Don't be rash, Daddy.Copy !req
606. - Lou is different now.
- Better.Copy !req
607. She too wants to fight for
a more decent Arizona.Copy !req
608. I do and I want to open
a parlor houseCopy !req
609. where only Kolaloka lemonade
will be served.Copy !req
610. I am deeply touched, miss.Copy !req
611. A praiseworthy intention indeed.Copy !req
612. Excuse me. I need to change
so thatCopy !req
613. So that?Copy !req
614. The battle is not ours yet.Copy !req
615. She should have been here by now.Copy !req
616. She should come any moment now.Copy !req
617. Music!Copy !req
618. Yes, sir!Copy !req
619. When I tap the glass with a spoon,Copy !req
620. - you'll start playing.
- Yes, sir!Copy !req
621. Am I so hot because
of the heat or is it passion?Copy !req
622. Oh my!Copy !req
623. Why aren't you wearing
your usual color?Copy !req
624. This one suits an avenger better.
My last will...Copy !req
625. - Should I not return...
- No!Copy !req
626. Should I not return,
give it to my father.Copy !req
627. Mr. Charles William Kolaloka,Copy !req
628. President
of the Kolaloka and Son Company.Copy !req
629. You are
- His son.Copy !req
630. A gunman and a tycoon's son?
What more do you want, dear?Copy !req
631. - And his future heir.
- Universal?Copy !req
632. Fortunately...
I mean unfortunately.Copy !req
633. I would have had siblings
had not it been for that fateful day...Copy !req
634. When my parents travelled to new
settlements in covered wagons,Copy !req
635. they brought their young ones with them.Copy !req
636. Then all of a sudden,
a hurricane struckCopy !req
637. and blew my siblings far away.Copy !req
638. I have never seen them since.Copy !req
639. And you weren't blown away then?Copy !req
640. I remained with my parents because...Copy !req
641. because I wasn't born yet.Copy !req
642. So now you know everything.Copy !req
643. We shall meet again.Copy !req
644. I hope.Copy !req
645. He will come back, dear.Copy !req
646. I hope I'm not intruding.Copy !req
647. What an interesting
natural phenomenon!Copy !req
648. A man changes to solid rock.Copy !req
649. He's got a pulse, his condition
isn't so hopeless after all.Copy !req
650. - You damned bastard!
- A warm human word at last.Copy !req
651. Excuse my casual attire.Copy !req
652. Thank you,
but I eat fruit only for dessert.Copy !req
653. Let's sit down, shall we?Copy !req
654. - What do you want from me?
- Nothing.Copy !req
655. Only a game of poker perhaps.Copy !req
656. If you win,
you will not only get this toyCopy !req
657. but also the right
to a fair duel with pistols.Copy !req
658. And if I lose?Copy !req
659. I'll shoot you like a stray dog!Copy !req
660. You have no right to kill me.Copy !req
661. You forget you're wanted in four states.Copy !req
662. But this is the fifth.Copy !req
663. Enough words.Copy !req
664. That's not how a gentleman
plays.Copy !req
665. That's how a gentleman plays
with an outlaw.Copy !req
666. What a scum!Copy !req
667. - How many cards do you want?
- None, thanks.Copy !req
668. It's good that I've got
three aces in my pocket.Copy !req
669. Damn it, where are they?Copy !req
670. - Perhaps in another pocket.
- Do you think so?Copy !req
671. Calm down, I must be systematic.Copy !req
672. Thank you for the amusing performance.Copy !req
673. I've got two pairs, and you?Copy !req
674. You've lost, cabbage head!Copy !req
675. As you wish!Copy !req
676. Pump as much lead into me as you please.Copy !req
677. Maybe I will, maybe I won't.Copy !req
678. If on the trigger you want to be quick,
Kolaloka is what you should drink!Copy !req
679. - I've heard this before.
- You have and you will hear it again.Copy !req
680. - And if I sign it?
- You're free to go.Copy !req
681. I thought you were
a man of the Law?Copy !req
682. What's good for Kolaloka
is good for the Law.Copy !req
683. But I did the worst things
I could do to you.Copy !req
684. - Life is a battle.
- I wanted to debauch your fiancée.Copy !req
685. It's all a matter of taste.
Will you sign it?Copy !req
686. Permit me to have a glass
of well chilled sparkling wine.Copy !req
687. By all means.Copy !req
688. It's true, Mother dear.
Your daughter will marry a rich man.Copy !req
689. I won't disturb your contemplation.Copy !req
690. I'll go and pick some
graveyard flowers.Copy !req
691. Bye bye.Copy !req
692. It's just wishful thinking,
my gorgeous.Copy !req
693. - Devil!
- Angel!Copy !req
694. Brutal violence will triumph!Copy !req
695. No! You beasty pig!
You piggy beast!Copy !req
696. First a sweet kiss and then
You have three guesses.Copy !req
697. Here's what you deserve,
you warbling frump!Copy !req
698. Lou!Copy !req
699. - What have you done?
- Oh, a mere trifle.Copy !req
700. My brother and yet a monster.Copy !req
701. You've screwed up!Copy !req
702. Poor girl, your tornado days
are over.Copy !req
703. How can this be?
A cocoa spotCopy !req
704. Good afternoon.Copy !req
705. I'm sorry for being late, darling.Copy !req
706. Is this possible?Copy !req
707. A cocoa spot of the size
of a Mexican dollar.Copy !req
708. What do you see?Copy !req
709. A cocoa spot of the size
of a Mexican dollar.Copy !req
710. The same birthmark.Copy !req
711. That means that DougCopy !req
712. Was my brother.Copy !req
713. Look here!Copy !req
714. A cocoa spot of the size
of a Mexican dollar.Copy !req
715. She's your sister.Copy !req
716. - And what about me?
- What?Copy !req
717. Look!Copy !req
718. A Mexican spot of the size of cocoa
dollar. No, it's the other way round.Copy !req
719. Let me see!Copy !req
720. No!Copy !req
721. - Brother!
- Goodbye forever!Copy !req
722. My goodness, you're a mess!Copy !req
723. I only got shot twice in the heart,
once in the stomach and so on.Copy !req
724. A single drop
was enough to cure me!Copy !req
725. Wounds, shock or sore feet...Copy !req
726. Kolaloka will cure all.Copy !req
727. Thousands of thank-you letters!Copy !req
728. Recommended by medical experts!
Even in cases of clinical death.Copy !req
729. Daddy!Copy !req
730. Daddy. This is her!Copy !req
731. I've met her father already.Copy !req
732. Let me embrace you, my dear!Copy !req
733. Oil!Copy !req
734. Gold!Copy !req
735. Mr. Kolaloka, you've gained 5 million
dollars on the stock exchange!Copy !req
736. - Billion!
- Billion? Five billion dollars?Copy !req
737. I knew that Good would conquer Evil.Copy !req
738. It's so touching. I almost wish
I wasn't a villain.Copy !req
739. No, son, our business needs
all kinds of talented people.Copy !req
740. Villain or hero,
we are still one family.Copy !req
741. And soCopy !req
742. And so
- And soCopy !req
743. Whiskola.Copy !req
744. Whiskola.Copy !req
745. Alcohol-free!Copy !req
746. Alcoholic!Copy !req
747. Lemonade!Copy !req
748. For alcoholics and teetotalers.Copy !req
749. Whiskola.Copy !req
750. THE ENDCopy !req