1. Look, her first high-end retail shopping experience.Copy !req
2. Her nanny tried to take her to Baby Gap...Copy !req
3. but she'd just cry and cry.Copy !req
4. She was a professional shopper at age three.Copy !req
5. Oh, wow!Copy !req
6. Remember when she was on the cover of "Seventeen"?Copy !req
7. She had so much potential back then.Copy !req
8. Look at her. She could have been a Playmate by now.Copy !req
9. Hello! She's a lawyer.Copy !req
10. - That's way better. -Why?Copy !req
11. There she is!Copy !req
12. You always said she has the perfect shaped head...Copy !req
13. for a tiara!Copy !req
14. Look at that slime dog!Copy !req
15. It was so nice of you to make this for Elle's wedding shower.Copy !req
16. I can't scrapbook worth a damn.Copy !req
17. I took a class on it at community college.Copy !req
18. - She got a "B." -Plus!Copy !req
19. The day she passed her LSAT!Copy !req
20. I swallowed some of that Silly String.Copy !req
21. It wouldn't be the first time.Copy !req
22. Look at that. Her first day at Harvard.Copy !req
23. Unbelievable. Awesome.Copy !req
24. The Bend and Snap!Copy !req
25. I love that. I did it last night naked.Copy !req
26. - You did not. -Yes. I busted a window.Copy !req
27. Oh, my God, there's Bruiser's first highlights.Copy !req
28. Is this the key to her first office at the firm?Copy !req
29. Remember that Caribbean decor? It was genius.Copy !req
30. Look, there she is with Congresswoman Rudd...Copy !req
31. when they started the Harvard alumni women's event.Copy !req
32. - Yeah. -That's two kick-ass women.Copy !req
33. I like them. I really like them.Copy !req
34. The first day they met! Emmett loves her already.Copy !req
35. You can see it in his eyes.Copy !req
36. Emmett and Elle.Copy !req
37. They're truly Romeo and Juliet without the dying.Copy !req
38. Paulette?Copy !req
39. Oh, my God! Girls, I think it's her.Copy !req
40. - Quick! Lights out! -OK!Copy !req
41. Paulette?Copy !req
42. I thought we were supposed to be at the movies by 9:00.Copy !req
43. Surprise!Copy !req
44. We got her!Copy !req
45. Oh, my God! Margot, Serena, I cannot believe...Copy !req
46. you guys flew all the way here!Copy !req
47. - No biggie. -On the contrary.Copy !req
48. It's a huge biggie. Thank you.Copy !req
49. You guys are the best.Copy !req
50. Speaking of biggies, can we see your ring again?Copy !req
51. Not your Delta Nu ring, Elle.Copy !req
52. You mean, this one?Copy !req
53. Clarity between F.L. and V.V.S. Nice girdle diameter.Copy !req
54. Cut impeccable. It's a keeper.Copy !req
55. Thanks!Copy !req
56. Oh, my gosh, it's from Emmett!Copy !req
57. That's me and Emmett on Fenway baseball field.Copy !req
58. It's his favorite place in the whole world.Copy !req
59. I love snow globes.Copy !req
60. I can hear the ocean.Copy !req
61. Listen, honey, you're a full-time bride now...Copy !req
62. so you'll need a whole new wardrobe.Copy !req
63. I'm not quitting my job, you guys.Copy !req
64. Do you guys remember that feeling we used to get...Copy !req
65. during a really intense Spinning class?Copy !req
66. That we feel so truly amazing about ourselves?Copy !req
67. That's how I feel being a lawyer. I love it.Copy !req
68. I have this huge annual review coming up...Copy !req
69. so keep 'em crossed, girls.Copy !req
70. Crossed!Copy !req
71. Congratulations, you did it.Copy !req
72. With three wrong answers, you've managed to undermine...Copy !req
73. the entire foundation upon which our legal system's built.Copy !req
74. And by the way...Copy !req
75. it only took me two wrong answers.Copy !req
76. Sweetie, you customized my ring? Again?Copy !req
77. Emmett, you are never going to believe my news!Copy !req
78. - What? -Fenway Park!Copy !req
79. You, me, two rings, and one recently ordained umpire...Copy !req
80. right on the entry field!Copy !req
81. Infield. What are you talking about?Copy !req
82. It turns out the starting pitcher for the Red Sox...Copy !req
83. has an unfortunate unibrow problem.Copy !req
84. He goes to Nadia, my waxer...Copy !req
85. so the team pulled some strings with the site manager...Copy !req
86. and we're getting married at Fenway!Copy !req
87. Are you serious?Copy !req
88. Are you sure this is what you want to do?Copy !req
89. I can married anywhere and it wouldn't matter.Copy !req
90. That's a lie.Copy !req
91. I'm getting married under the Green Monster!Copy !req
92. Yes!Copy !req
93. And in just three months and four days!Copy !req
94. Emmett, we have so much to talk about.Copy !req
95. I want everybody who matters to us to be there.Copy !req
96. Oh, my God! I almost forgot!Copy !req
97. You want me to what?Copy !req
98. You want me to what?Copy !req
99. A biological birth parent search.Copy !req
100. For your dog.Copy !req
101. For my Chihuahua-American Bruiser Woods.Copy !req
102. I found him abandoned years ago.Copy !req
103. Miss, I'm the highest-paid, most sought after...Copy !req
104. private investigator in the greater Boston area.Copy !req
105. That's precisely why we came to you, Detective.Copy !req
106. It is absolutely vital that we find Bruiser's mother pronto.Copy !req
107. His father might be more difficult. You know dogs.Copy !req
108. May I ask why?Copy !req
109. Of course. "Martha Stewart Weddings"...Copy !req
110. recommends a 4 to 6-week window for RSVPs...Copy !req
111. and I can't send the invitation without an address.Copy !req
112. And the sooner I get started on the calligraphy the better.Copy !req
113. You want to send an invitation to your wedding...Copy !req
114. to your dog's mother. And you're serious?Copy !req
115. Detective, if I have to make room...Copy !req
116. for my second cousin's vegan diet coach...Copy !req
117. you better believe I'll make room for the mother...Copy !req
118. of the one loving creature who's always been there for me.Copy !req
119. In fact, I can't believe I haven't done this sooner!Copy !req
120. I'm thinking the same thing.Copy !req
121. - Elle! -Hi, Mr. Blaine.Copy !req
122. - The client is thrilled. -Good!Copy !req
123. How you seamlessly negotiated that deal?Copy !req
124. - It was simply magnifique. -Thank you.Copy !req
125. Big staff meeting today, kiddo.Copy !req
126. All right. I got my fingers crossed.Copy !req
127. Milton, two shots, extra foam.Copy !req
128. - Wow. Thanks, E.W. -No problem!Copy !req
129. - Go get 'em today. -Thanks.Copy !req
130. Soy for you, honey. No dairy.Copy !req
131. That's right. Thank you. Your call list is endless.Copy !req
132. - It is? -We better get right on it.Copy !req
133. Kevin, you shouldn't have!Copy !req
134. I'm not sure they're giving me the promotion today.Copy !req
135. It's just a widespread yet credible rumor.Copy !req
136. It's from me and the girls.Copy !req
137. Oh, right!Copy !req
138. Now do me.Copy !req
139. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.Copy !req
140. - Me, too! -You do?Copy !req
141. I had no idea I could be this happy...Copy !req
142. without accruing credit card debt.Copy !req
143. Already?Copy !req
144. Well, Miss Woods, even the weird ones get cracked.Copy !req
145. - You ready? -Yes!Copy !req
146. Bruiser Woods...Copy !req
147. meet your mom.Copy !req
148. Bruiser... your cheekbones.Copy !req
149. And it's all in there.Copy !req
150. Good luck finding whatever it is you're looking for.Copy !req
151. Oh, my God! She's a Bostonian!Copy !req
152. Bruiser, we're here!Copy !req
153. As your adoptive mother, I'm sure you're nervous...Copy !req
154. about meeting your birth mother...Copy !req
155. but hear her out, OK? I'm sure she had her reasons.Copy !req
156. Bruiser, your mother lives at...Copy !req
157. the top secret Versace think-tank!Copy !req
158. I told you they had one!Copy !req
159. No, ma'am.Copy !req
160. Unless you have a pass, you cannot go up there.Copy !req
161. Lucky I always keep it on me.Copy !req
162. Hold on. It's right here.Copy !req
163. There you go.Copy !req
164. What is it?Copy !req
165. It's my double platinum V.V.I.P. Versace...Copy !req
166. Preferred Customer identification card.Copy !req
167. Available only to those that've shopped on five continents.Copy !req
168. If that fails to satisfy you, you can also contact...Copy !req
169. Billy Dailey, head of customer relations.Copy !req
170. You got the wrong VERSACE, lady.Copy !req
171. Really? Donatella's not here?Copy !req
172. Bruiser, where are you going?Copy !req
173. Bruiser!Copy !req
174. Ma'am!Copy !req
175. Bruiser?Copy !req
176. Get back here!Copy !req
177. Where are you going?Copy !req
178. Bruiser, I didn't know you were so athletic.Copy !req
179. What is it?Copy !req
180. Oh, my God!Copy !req
181. You, come here!Copy !req
182. Come on! Open this door immediately!Copy !req
183. What are you doing here?Copy !req
184. You have my dog's mom, and I need her right now!Copy !req
185. Absolutely not. I'm not authorized to release...Copy !req
186. any subjects from their containment units.Copy !req
187. I'm not even allowed to have a key.Copy !req
188. Swallow the thing one time, and all of a sudden...Copy !req
189. you're the weird key swallower who can't be trusted.Copy !req
190. I don't think you're understanding me.Copy !req
191. I'm willing to pay for her.Copy !req
192. These animals aren't for sale, ma'am.Copy !req
193. They're the legal property of this facility.Copy !req
194. What kind of facility is this?Copy !req
195. Mr. Livermore, I'm so sorry!Copy !req
196. Elle, this VERSACE is a cosmetic testing facility.Copy !req
197. - Oh, no! -Bruiser's mom's a test subject.Copy !req
198. I want her out of there immediately.Copy !req
199. Animal test subjects can only be surrendered...Copy !req
200. on a voluntary basis, and they're not volunteering.Copy !req
201. After I get through with them, they'll be begging.Copy !req
202. And I'm not just taking Bruiser's mom.Copy !req
203. I'll bust all those dogs out of that doggie dungeon.Copy !req
204. "Research Science and Critter Exploitation"?Copy !req
205. This VERSACE's owned by the C'est Magnifique Corporation!Copy !req
206. That's fantastic!Copy !req
207. Our law firm represents C'est Magnifique.Copy !req
208. We can tell them to fix this.Copy !req
209. I can't wait to take this to the partners.Copy !req
210. But how are you going to convince them?Copy !req
211. Presenting...Copy !req
212. Abandoned at birth, I was on my own at an early age...Copy !req
213. fighting for survival on the streets of Beverly Hills...Copy !req
214. making his way down the boulevard of broken dreams,Copy !req
215. turning tricks at Hollywood and Vine...Copy !req
216. yet even when I found a loving mother...Copy !req
217. I couldn't shake this nagging emptiness in my heart.Copy !req
218. It was like a void. When I looked in the mirror...Copy !req
219. who was it that was looking back at me?Copy !req
220. This is Bruiser's question.Copy !req
221. And in a way, aren't we all Bruisers?Copy !req
222. I think yes. Thank you.Copy !req
223. Ms. Woods, this is a law firm...Copy !req
224. not an animal rights advocacy group.Copy !req
225. We're lawyers. We have to fight for justice.Copy !req
226. And this is definitely unjust.Copy !req
227. In this case, the cost of beauty is way too high.Copy !req
228. I can't believe I said that, but it's true.Copy !req
229. What we fight for...Copy !req
230. is our clients and their best interests.Copy !req
231. But isn't doing the right thing in everybody's best interest?Copy !req
232. I think you're confusing the right thing and the law.Copy !req
233. You didn't think they were the same, did you?Copy !req
234. Why don't we get back to business...Copy !req
235. and discuss your very bright future?Copy !req
236. Pardon me, I don't mean to interrupt...Copy !req
237. but I just— What you're saying is...Copy !req
238. if C'est Magnifique follows the letter of the law...Copy !req
239. even if it ends up hurting living beings...Copy !req
240. we're just doing our job?Copy !req
241. I'm sorry, Mr. Blaine...Copy !req
242. I don't think I can work with people who believe that.Copy !req
243. You know what? You're right.Copy !req
244. Thank you, Mr. Blaine.Copy !req
245. You shouldn't have to work with people who believe that.Copy !req
246. Absolutely. I knew you would understand.Copy !req
247. You're fired, Elle.Copy !req
248. What?Copy !req
249. We only have room for serious lawyers here.Copy !req
250. Take the rest of the day to clear out your things.Copy !req
251. But the secretarial pool already gave me a balloon.Copy !req
252. Keep the balloon, if you wish.Copy !req
253. Please, Emmett, just go away.Copy !req
254. Why don't you come on out, sweetie?Copy !req
255. I know Bruiser doesn't blame you.Copy !req
256. But I'm all he has to speak for him in this world...Copy !req
257. and I have completely failed him.Copy !req
258. You know what I thought the first time I saw you?Copy !req
259. "God, that woman wears a lot of pink"?Copy !req
260. No. I thought...Copy !req
261. "That woman is really special."Copy !req
262. "She believes she can make a difference and she will."Copy !req
263. So... come on out and let's talk about it.Copy !req
264. No.Copy !req
265. We could go over some wedding details.Copy !req
266. How about that? It revolves.Copy !req
267. And it illuminates.Copy !req
268. It's even got the Red Sox colors.Copy !req
269. That's fantastic, honey!Copy !req
270. Speaking of red socks...Copy !req
271. you're not getting cold feet, are you?Copy !req
272. About what?Copy !req
273. How's it going to look? A Harvard law professor...Copy !req
274. married to a lawyer who got fired from her first job.Copy !req
275. Fired for something she believes in.Copy !req
276. It's going to look like...Copy !req
277. "There goes the luckiest guy in the whole world."Copy !req
278. Thanks.Copy !req
279. Holy crap!Copy !req
280. It's gorgeous!Copy !req
281. The material keeps falling apart.Copy !req
282. No!Copy !req
283. Amy, is something wrong?Copy !req
284. You can't do a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt.Copy !req
285. The material's too delicate. It'll just fall apart.Copy !req
286. But in two out of three home tests it held.Copy !req
287. I am so sorry, Elle.Copy !req
288. No biggie. I guess I don't need...Copy !req
289. a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt.Copy !req
290. I'll be fine.Copy !req
291. What is it that you said back when I couldn't...Copy !req
292. fit into my white spandex pantsuit for my wedding?Copy !req
293. If the fabric doesn't work with you...Copy !req
294. don't work with it.Copy !req
295. It's one of my favorite mantras.Copy !req
296. That is so true, and I know the most perfect organza!Copy !req
297. Or something really classy like...Copy !req
298. like white leather!Copy !req
299. I'll call the guy that did my car seats.Copy !req
300. Wait... that's it.Copy !req
301. Don't fight the fabric. Change it.Copy !req
302. OK, but white leather?Copy !req
303. If the law is what's keeping Bruiser's mother locked up...Copy !req
304. I shouldn't be fighting it, I should be changing it.Copy !req
305. Everybody, I'm going to make...Copy !req
306. animal testing for cosmetics illegal!Copy !req
307. I know that making a dog wear mascara and blush is wrong...Copy !req
308. This isn't just about Bruiser's mom anymore...Copy !req
309. this is about the fact that every day...Copy !req
310. that I put on my Gold Goddess luminescent blush...Copy !req
311. some poor little innocent animal might be suffering for it.Copy !req
312. You don't realize how horrible something is...Copy !req
313. until it happens to you personally.Copy !req
314. Like breastfeeding.Copy !req
315. And if I want to give a voice to Bruiser...Copy !req
316. I have to go to the place that gave a voice to the people!Copy !req
317. Oh, my God! The headquarters of "Cosmopolitan" magazine!Copy !req
318. Better! Ladies...Copy !req
319. I'm going to Washington!Copy !req
320. D.C., here I come!Copy !req
321. If anybody can handle this, it's you, honey.Copy !req
322. I got a call from the Delta Nu 24-hour housing hotline.Copy !req
323. Your apartment's all set.Copy !req
324. - Great! -Elle!Copy !req
325. Oh, my God! You look like the Fourth of July!Copy !req
326. Makes me want a hot dog real bad.Copy !req
327. Yeah, OK. You got to get going, honey.Copy !req
328. OK.Copy !req
329. - Elle, look at this. -What's that?Copy !req
330. According to "Animal Fair" magazine...Copy !req
331. your new boss is the best groomed woman in Washington.Copy !req
332. Her beagle's name is Dolly Madison...Copy !req
333. which is my grandma's stripper name.Copy !req
334. Isn't that a good sign?Copy !req
335. Oh, my gosh. A job with a brilliant congresswoman...Copy !req
336. who's also a fellow Harvard alum.Copy !req
337. You'll do great, Elle. It's destiny.Copy !req
338. But isn't planning the wedding of the century...Copy !req
339. and changing the law kind of hard?Copy !req
340. Paulette, I taught Bruiser how to shop online.Copy !req
341. I think I can handle Congress.Copy !req
342. See ya.Copy !req
343. Home sweet home. You ready?Copy !req
344. OK.Copy !req
345. Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am.Copy !req
346. It's a thrill to be here!Copy !req
347. Time to legislate!Copy !req
348. No.Copy !req
349. Too Nancy.Copy !req
350. Too Hillary.Copy !req
351. Too Monica.Copy !req
352. Too perfect for words!Copy !req
353. Hi!Copy !req
354. Good morning, fellow public servants.Copy !req
355. It's my first day.Copy !req
356. Nice briefcase.Copy !req
357. Huh? Thank you.Copy !req
358. Hi!Copy !req
359. Last item on our agenda—Elle Woods.Copy !req
360. Personal Rudd hire, taking up a bill...Copy !req
361. on animal testing in the cosmetic industry.Copy !req
362. I'm sorry, Rudd's backing that?Copy !req
363. Matter of conscience, whatever.Copy !req
364. Who knows? Maybe it'll boost our female demographic.Copy !req
365. The point is we're animal lovers now.Copy !req
366. If this is so important to Rudd, shouldn't I be handling it?Copy !req
367. No, Timothy, not when we have a woman...Copy !req
368. who according to Rudd, is one of the shrewdest...Copy !req
369. Iegal and political minds of our time.Copy !req
370. Hello, patriots!Copy !req
371. I don't think I've been this excited...Copy !req
372. since Gucci became a publicly traded company.Copy !req
373. Oh, my God, it's Capitol Barbie.Copy !req
374. She's so shiny.Copy !req
375. So where should I start?Copy !req
376. Excuse me, sweetie?Copy !req
377. Intern orientation is down the hall in Room 216.Copy !req
378. That's before 217 and after 215.Copy !req
379. Oh, my God! That is so sweet of you!Copy !req
380. You think I'm an intern?Copy !req
381. That anti-wrinkle all-salmon diet really works.Copy !req
382. Who are you?Copy !req
383. - I'm sorry— -Elle Woods, welcome!Copy !req
384. I haven't seen you since the alumni meeting!Copy !req
385. - I know! How are you? -Good!Copy !req
386. This is Elle Woods, everyone.Copy !req
387. Basically me when I first came to D.C...Copy !req
388. so make her feel at home.Copy !req
389. You ready to hit the ground running?Copy !req
390. Are these not my comfortable heels?Copy !req
391. - Cute shoes. -Thank you. They are comfy.Copy !req
392. Here's Bruiser. Welcome.Copy !req
393. Oh, you little sugar!Copy !req
394. Back her up, people.Copy !req
395. This is the most collaborative bunch on the Hill...Copy !req
396. So gather them together...Copy !req
397. talk strategy as soon as you get settled in.Copy !req
398. - And, Elle? -Yes?Copy !req
399. - Welcome to Washington. -Thank you!Copy !req
400. Okey-dokey.Copy !req
401. I missed the part about where my office is.Copy !req
402. The desk. Right here.Copy !req
403. All righty. Then I'm going to need a glue gun...Copy !req
404. some pinking shears, and five yards of grosgrain ribbon.Copy !req
405. Yeah, that'll do it.Copy !req
406. Well, look at you.Copy !req
407. You can run your wedding coordinator business...Copy !req
408. during all that legislative downtime.Copy !req
409. Don't be silly, Grace.Copy !req
410. This is to plan my own wedding to Emmett.Copy !req
411. See, this is us. He had this made for me.Copy !req
412. That's him, and that's me smiling.Copy !req
413. Maybe he'll make one of you and me.Copy !req
414. You'll be talking and I'll be throwing up.Copy !req
415. Speaking of nuptials, wait till I tell...Copy !req
416. the congresswoman that I was invited...Copy !req
417. to John McCain's nephew's wedding.Copy !req
418. He's really quite a sweet kid.Copy !req
419. Tell me something, Timothy...Copy !req
420. is it difficult for you to breathe with...Copy !req
421. your mouth flat against your employer's butt?Copy !req
422. I don't know, Grace. Is it difficult to see...Copy !req
423. with your head in the Minority Whip's lap?Copy !req
424. It was the distinguished gentlemen from lowa.Copy !req
425. His wife had recently left him and we just talked.Copy !req
426. Right. Because if you did "visit" his district...Copy !req
427. you should've gotten some legislation out of it.Copy !req
428. How would you even know...Copy !req
429. when you're busy chasing interns on a skateboard?Copy !req
430. Excuse me? Who wants to talk animal testing?Copy !req
431. Write a bill, Britney. I don't have a car!Copy !req
432. Snap Cup timeCopy !req
433. Gather ye roundCopy !req
434. Friends and foes togetherCopy !req
435. United and boundCopy !req
436. Pass it to your neighborCopy !req
437. Instead of blowing upCopy !req
438. And we'll find harmony and loveCopy !req
439. In the Snap Cup!Copy !req
440. Don't tell me you don't know what a Snap Cup is?Copy !req
441. OK, I'll explain it.Copy !req
442. You are going to write down an anonymous praise note...Copy !req
443. on a little warm fuzzy.Copy !req
444. Warm fuzzy?Copy !req
445. Yes. Compliments about your co-workers.Copy !req
446. Just something nice.Copy !req
447. Then you deposit them in the sacred vessel.Copy !req
448. The Snap Cup is essential to any bipartisan environment.Copy !req
449. Consider 1998 Spring Carnival.Copy !req
450. The Delta Nus partnered with the Kappa Kappa Gammas...Copy !req
451. on Project Kissing Booth. Big problems.Copy !req
452. Go ahead, write.Copy !req
453. So, a whole heated debate transpired...Copy !req
454. over the whole tongue-no tongue policy.Copy !req
455. I think you know what side the Kappas were on.Copy !req
456. Anyway, it really helped us move past the conflict...Copy !req
457. and I think it can help us today.Copy !req
458. Let's just try this, OK?Copy !req
459. Thank you, Reena. Thank you.Copy !req
460. Thanks for that.Copy !req
461. Thank you, Timothy.Copy !req
462. So now, the Snap Cup mistress—me—recites.Copy !req
463. Good, I got mine.Copy !req
464. "Grace always has the confidence to speak her mind.Copy !req
465. "Plus, she looks terrific in charcoal."Copy !req
466. And, voila, snaps for Grace!Copy !req
467. You see? Our first Snap Cup!Copy !req
468. This is so exciting! I wonder what'll happen next?Copy !req
469. All right, this is...Copy !req
470. "What do Elle Woods and the Snap Cup have in common?"Copy !req
471. A riddle. That's so cool.Copy !req
472. I love riddles.Copy !req
473. "They're both..."Copy !req
474. "stupid."Copy !req
475. Enough already.Copy !req
476. Maybe we can do something actually worthwhile...Copy !req
477. like attend the hearing of the committee...Copy !req
478. you need to crack. I'll take you myself.Copy !req
479. Thank you, Grace. That's very generous of you.Copy !req
480. See, I think the Snap Cup really works.Copy !req
481. Wow.Copy !req
482. Good morning.Copy !req
483. This is just like on C-SPAN except I'm not bored.Copy !req
484. You're in the wrong room, sweetheart.Copy !req
485. Intern orientation is in room...Copy !req
486. 216? Yes, I've heard. Thank you.Copy !req
487. Hi, I'm Elle Woods. I'm not an intern.Copy !req
488. Rob Cole. Me, neither.Copy !req
489. I'm the new legislative aide to Congresswoman Rudd.Copy !req
490. I'm an old congressman from Delaware.Copy !req
491. I've been to Delaware! No sales tax. Good one, sir.Copy !req
492. Committee is called to order.Copy !req
493. Welcome to the special meeting of the...Copy !req
494. Excuse me. Sorry.Copy !req
495. Committee of Energy and Commerce.Copy !req
496. Before we turn to our official agenda...Copy !req
497. are there any introductory remarks?Copy !req
498. Madam chairwoman...Copy !req
499. Grace Rossiter, chief of staff...Copy !req
500. Representative Rudd, Massachusetts.Copy !req
501. As our newest legislative assistant...Copy !req
502. will be spearheading a campaign under your committee...Copy !req
503. I'm sure she'd love the floor.Copy !req
504. Thus I yield to my colleague, the lady in hot pink.Copy !req
505. You have the floor, lady in hot pink.Copy !req
506. Me?Copy !req
507. Would you care to more specifically identify yourself?Copy !req
508. Oh, sure!Copy !req
509. My name is Elle Woods, Boston by way of Bel Air.Copy !req
510. And as my surname would suggest...Copy !req
511. I am a passionate advocate for everything in nature...Copy !req
512. and a contented citizen...Copy !req
513. until my shorthaired Chihuahua, Bruiser...Copy !req
514. brought me face-to-face with the animal testing issue.Copy !req
515. You're out of order, Miss Woods.Copy !req
516. This is a fuel efficiency hearing.Copy !req
517. I don't see anything in the agenda about animal testing.Copy !req
518. Will you yield the floor?Copy !req
519. Absolutely. I'm almost done.Copy !req
520. So, in conclusion, I just want to say...Copy !req
521. that I am so excited about the day...Copy !req
522. that I get to march up those grand Capitol steps...Copy !req
523. and drop that very bill in the...Copy !req
524. What's it called?Copy !req
525. It's like a shiny, mahogany box thing?Copy !req
526. The hopper.Copy !req
527. Exactly! The hopper! How could I forget?Copy !req
528. It's like a bunny. Perfect for animal testing.Copy !req
529. And I want to let everybody know...Copy !req
530. that I'm having a post-hopper tapas party.Copy !req
531. I'm making sangria. It's really yummy.Copy !req
532. My, my, how very interesting that all sounds.Copy !req
533. It'll be fun.Copy !req
534. However, the next time you consider...Copy !req
535. attending a hearing over which I preside... don't!Copy !req
536. Committee is called to order.Copy !req
537. OK.Copy !req
538. Welcome to the special meeting of the Committee...Copy !req
539. of Energy and Commerce. For the record...Copy !req
540. would the secretary please make note that...Copy !req
541. Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am.Copy !req
542. Seventeen-B?Copy !req
543. You have a package.Copy !req
544. Inside that box are the most perfect wedding shoes ever.Copy !req
545. Both visually stunning and cleated.Copy !req
546. And I won't be able to wear them...Copy !req
547. since I obviously won't make the date...Copy !req
548. for Emmett's fantasy baseball wedding...Copy !req
549. given that I don't have a chance of getting...Copy !req
550. those important congresspeople to co-sponsor my bill...Copy !req
551. which I need to get a hearing to stop animal testing...Copy !req
552. in order to reunite Bruiser with his mother...Copy !req
553. in order to have them at my wedding...Copy !req
554. in which I was going to wear...Copy !req
555. the most perfect wedding shoes ever...Copy !req
556. right inside that box.Copy !req
557. They never covered this in the handbook.Copy !req
558. They're something, all right.Copy !req
559. You think?Copy !req
560. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
561. Elle Woods, legislative aide...Copy !req
562. to Congresswoman Rudd, Massachusetts.Copy !req
563. Sid Post. Doorman.Copy !req
564. That door.Copy !req
565. All day I've felt like white, open-toed shoes after Labor Day.Copy !req
566. I hate that feeling.Copy !req
567. Whatever that means.Copy !req
568. I better get going. If I'm going to pass a law...Copy !req
569. I have to work up some plan of attack...Copy !req
570. with the Committee of En and Ron or whatever.Copy !req
571. Bye, Sid.Copy !req
572. - Comm. -What'd you say?Copy !req
573. It's called the Committee of Energy and Commerce.Copy !req
574. Oh, yeah. Right. Thanks.Copy !req
575. This is really important to me, Grace.Copy !req
576. They wouldn't cover my nana's anti-itch cream...Copy !req
577. which means she only has one free hand for bingo.Copy !req
578. - if I could get a hearing— -Where's your bill, Reena?Copy !req
579. The staff lawyers couldn't draft it for six weeks...Copy !req
580. but if you could talk to the congressman's aide...Copy !req
581. I could get on the agenda.Copy !req
582. We pushed prescription drugs last term.Copy !req
583. I have a lot of issues that come first.Copy !req
584. Reena, if Grace finds herself otherwise prioritized...Copy !req
585. maybe you could talk to this aide yourself.Copy !req
586. Or better yet, directly to the congressman.Copy !req
587. Don't you have something to alphabetize?Copy !req
588. In fact, now that I think about it...Copy !req
589. with Reena's clear passion for the project...Copy !req
590. who better to write this bill than Reena?Copy !req
591. Me?Copy !req
592. It's like I always say—Copy !req
593. Why let someone else do for you what you can do for yourself?Copy !req
594. Except in the case of eyebrow maintenance.Copy !req
595. We always say follow protocol.Copy !req
596. It's worked for the past 200 years...Copy !req
597. OK, Miss Snap Cup?Copy !req
598. Stick it out with the lawyers. They'll get to you eventually.Copy !req
599. This is the new congressmember roster.Copy !req
600. Just a dollar.Copy !req
601. Don't you believe in helping a guy out?Copy !req
602. What I do believe in, sir...Copy !req
603. is an honest day's work for an honest day's pay.Copy !req
604. Not rewards for idleness.Copy !req
605. - 50 cents? -Leave me!Copy !req
606. - Just a quarter. -Go bother someone else!Copy !req
607. People here have no common courtesy.Copy !req
608. Want to get a hearing for your bill?Copy !req
609. Get Congresswoman Hauser. She needs a political makeover.Copy !req
610. Sidney?Copy !req
611. Who needs a what?Copy !req
612. Hauser. Tough redhead on En and Comm.Copy !req
613. If she can put her name on something warm and fuzzy...Copy !req
614. something like puppies, that could do the trick.Copy !req
615. Really? What if I showed Hauser the photos...Copy !req
616. of what they're doing to these animals?Copy !req
617. That'd work... with someone with a heart.Copy !req
618. Hauser responds to facts, figures, and demographics.Copy !req
619. You gotta do your homework.Copy !req
620. How did you learn all this?Copy !req
621. I have been stationed on the forefront...Copy !req
622. of all major political and social scandals...Copy !req
623. for the past 30 years.Copy !req
624. You worked in the White House?Copy !req
625. No, at the Wellington.Copy !req
626. After Hauser, you'll need Stanford Marks...Copy !req
627. Alabama Republican. A real hard-ass.Copy !req
628. Sidney, you are, without a doubt...Copy !req
629. the most useful person I've met in Washington.Copy !req
630. Hauser's margin in the last election?Copy !req
631. Four points. 52-48.Copy !req
632. Hauser's chief?Copy !req
633. Hall, Ted. 34, moderate, tough.Copy !req
634. - Marks' aide? -Murphy. Conservative, tougher.Copy !req
635. - I think you're ready. -Thank you, Sid.Copy !req
636. For shizzle... my ezzle.Copy !req
637. I borrowed this.Copy !req
638. Excuse me!Copy !req
639. Given the historical tendencies...Copy !req
640. of the congresswoman's voting pool...Copy !req
641. animal testing is the very issue your platform needs.Copy !req
642. Which brings me to my demographic breakdown target.Copy !req
643. Which brings us to the end of our time, but good stuff.Copy !req
644. I'll bat it around with my colleagues.Copy !req
645. I'm not done with my presentation.Copy !req
646. - ls Friday good? -Absolutely.Copy !req
647. The second one in November, and the line starts down there.Copy !req
648. But wait! I won't be here in November.Copy !req
649. I'm getting married.Copy !req
650. If you insist Congressman Marks is unavailable...Copy !req
651. perhaps you could look at...Copy !req
652. my alternative testing economics incentive chart.Copy !req
653. But it's pop-up.Copy !req
654. I will read this homeowners legislation this weekend.Copy !req
655. Five more minutes and I'm due in committee. Reena.Copy !req
656. Well—Copy !req
657. Reena's prescription drugs for the elderly amendment—Copy !req
658. rejected during mark-up session.Copy !req
659. Sorry, Nana.Copy !req
660. - Where are we with the animals? -Still not on the calendar.Copy !req
661. So we're nowhere. Grace, help Elle with this.Copy !req
662. Let's get going. I'll see you all later.Copy !req
663. Grace...Copy !req
664. I think I can get a meeting with Hauser's aide.Copy !req
665. Please. You could have 100 meetings...Copy !req
666. and it still wouldn't matter.Copy !req
667. This is Washington politics...Copy !req
668. not warm fuzzies and kissing booths.Copy !req
669. It takes savvy and street smarts.Copy !req
670. I've seen thousands of polite, idealistic girls...Copy !req
671. just like you traipse up and down this Hill...Copy !req
672. and go home empty-handed with blisters on their feet.Copy !req
673. Thank you, Grace.Copy !req
674. You actually reminded me of something really important.Copy !req
675. I came here to give my dog a voice...Copy !req
676. and I'd forgotten about my own.Copy !req
677. So you can do it the Washington way.Copy !req
678. But I'm going to do it the Elle Woods way.Copy !req
679. Time to get serious.Copy !req
680. Time to get serious.Copy !req
681. Subject—Congresswoman Libby Hauser.Copy !req
682. Came of age in Post-War boom...Copy !req
683. typified by 1951 Charles Jourdan stiletto heel.Copy !req
684. Moving up to the Texan's head, which is red...Copy !req
685. suspect chemical assistance. Must pursue.Copy !req
686. Hit me, Post.Copy !req
687. 118 salons within a 10-mile radius...Copy !req
688. broken down by color expertise...Copy !req
689. and philosophical approach to hair maintenance and style.Copy !req
690. I didn't know you could have a philosophy of hair.Copy !req
691. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
692. Maybe that's where I went wrong.Copy !req
693. Go for Woods.Copy !req
694. It's just as you suspected.Copy !req
695. She's at a moderate conservative salon...Copy !req
696. founded on the principles of Vidal.Copy !req
697. In fact, it was one of our case studies...Copy !req
698. last year at Hair University.Copy !req
699. That was right before they flunked me.Copy !req
700. Paulette, they weren't ready for your vision.Copy !req
701. I know you'll make your mark hair-wise.Copy !req
702. Sorry.Copy !req
703. - You got a pen? -Yes.Copy !req
704. It's at Constitution and 12th.Copy !req
705. The Salon Bontempo.Copy !req
706. Don't you just love a salon day?Copy !req
707. Yes, so peaceful and quiet.Copy !req
708. Makes it so much easier to talk that way.Copy !req
709. They have rules about that here.Copy !req
710. I know. That's why I called to make sure...Copy !req
711. they used PETA-approved hair care products.Copy !req
712. When you think about what they do to those animals—Copy !req
713. Which is why I don't think about it.Copy !req
714. Does the trick.Copy !req
715. Excellent bobby pin handling.Copy !req
716. Thank you, Frederic. Looks great.Copy !req
717. Isn't it so comforting to see...Copy !req
718. they use eco-friendly foil technology here?Copy !req
719. Every planet needs a friend, that's what I always say.Copy !req
720. If I wanted to talk about the emotional life of a rock...Copy !req
721. you'd know it by now.Copy !req
722. Until this day, I'd held the highest opinion...Copy !req
723. of redheads as a fellow hair minority group.Copy !req
724. I heard quite enough of your politics...Copy !req
725. at the committee meeting, thank you very much.Copy !req
726. When was the last time you wore the yellow tea rose?Copy !req
727. I'm sorry? What did you just—Copy !req
728. When was the last time you wore your yellow tea rose?Copy !req
729. On the night of my initiation.Copy !req
730. Wasn't the passing of the secret scented eternal flame...Copy !req
731. of the goddess Delta Nu not the most moving experience?Copy !req
732. Especially the part where we sipped...Copy !req
733. from the secret pink chalice of sisterhood!Copy !req
734. Yes!Copy !req
735. Delta who?Copy !req
736. Delta Nu!Copy !req
737. Delta-Delta boo-gah-looCopy !req
738. Nu Nu DeltaCopy !req
739. Theta, BetaCopy !req
740. Lambda, MuCopy !req
741. Ooh-aah, Delta Nu!Copy !req
742. Libby Hauser, Texas. Planning a wedding?Copy !req
743. That "l do" updo looks like heaven on you.Copy !req
744. Thank you.Copy !req
745. Who is he? Zeta Lambda Nu, I hope.Copy !req
746. Actually, I'm marrying outside the Greek system...Copy !req
747. but he's totally letter-worthy.Copy !req
748. But how is D.C. Elle-worthy?Copy !req
749. I'm here to speak for those who can't speak for themselves.Copy !req
750. How interesting.Copy !req
751. It's more than interesting. It's practical.Copy !req
752. Strictly a numbers game as far as you're concerned.Copy !req
753. 125,468—Number of people in your district with dog licenses.Copy !req
754. 12,762—The number of unemployed scientists...Copy !req
755. with the skills to develop alternatives to animal testing.Copy !req
756. And finally, 6285—the lD number of my dog's captive mother.Copy !req
757. I'm not sure I followed all that...Copy !req
758. but you got my attention.Copy !req
759. If there's one thing I know how to do...Copy !req
760. it's rinse and repeat. Shall we?Copy !req
761. Excuse me, do you happen to have a—Copy !req
762. - Get lost! -Excuse me, sir!Copy !req
763. - Do you have a— -No, I'm busy.Copy !req
764. Sir, could I use a section of your newspaper?Copy !req
765. We're late for your doggie spa appointment.Copy !req
766. - Here you go. -Thank you, young lady.Copy !req
767. No problem. What kind of world would this be...Copy !req
768. if we didn't help each other out every once in a while?Copy !req
769. Have a good day.Copy !req
770. What do you want, Bruiser?Copy !req
771. Bruiser, honey, come on.Copy !req
772. We have to go. We're late.Copy !req
773. We have to get to the doggie spa, remember?Copy !req
774. Will it be Swedish or shiatsu massage today?Copy !req
775. Come on.Copy !req
776. Come on. We gotta get you to the puppy pretty parlor.Copy !req
777. Redhead, down.Copy !req
778. Up next is Stanford Marks...Copy !req
779. Southern conservative, NRA spokesman.Copy !req
780. How about tulips?Copy !req
781. No, no, the calla lily is this year's tulip.Copy !req
782. - For weddings? -It's all about the calla.Copy !req
783. What would I do without you?Copy !req
784. I couldn't do anything without you, Sid.Copy !req
785. You're going to get this bill through, Elle.Copy !req
786. An honest voice is louder than a crowd's.Copy !req
787. Just trust your voice.Copy !req
788. Bruiser? Oh, my God. I'll be right back.Copy !req
789. Pilates for Poodles? That's Tuesday at 2:30.Copy !req
790. Pilates for Poodles? That's Tuesday at 2:30.Copy !req
791. - The page said it was urgent! -They said it was urgent.Copy !req
792. - Please tell me he's OK. -What's wrong with Leslie?Copy !req
793. We have it under control now...Copy !req
794. but your Rottweiler has been humping...Copy !req
795. your little dog, and vice versa.Copy !req
796. Your Chihuahua's quite the little leaper, young lady.Copy !req
797. Takes a running start.Copy !req
798. Hell, what can I say? My Rottweiler's a stallion.Copy !req
799. In our household, we fully support a healthy curiosity.Copy !req
800. Testosterone is natural. Wait. Did you say stallion?Copy !req
801. Wait a minute. Your dog...Copy !req
802. the one wearing that ridiculous pink skirt in the park?Copy !req
803. Why would she have testosterone?Copy !req
804. That wasn't a skirt, it was a skort.Copy !req
805. - Men wear skorts. -Uh-huh.Copy !req
806. What the heck is a skort?Copy !req
807. And what does a man wearing one got to do with it?Copy !req
808. All right! Leslie is a Les. The Rottweiler is a guy...Copy !req
809. and Bruiser is a male dog who enjoys wearing pastel.Copy !req
810. The canines are both male.Copy !req
811. Your dogs are gay.Copy !req
812. All the signs were there. I just didn't see them.Copy !req
813. Most dogs like to chew your shoes...Copy !req
814. and Bruiser liked to wear mine.Copy !req
815. I just thought he liked the height.Copy !req
816. You just want what's best for them.Copy !req
817. Doesn't matter if they're the smartest...Copy !req
818. or the strongest or the best diggers.Copy !req
819. As long as they're happy.Copy !req
820. Why me? Why my dog?Copy !req
821. I told Doris not to buy it in Dupont Circle.Copy !req
822. That damn homosexual puppy boutique.Copy !req
823. Stanford Marks, by the way. You can call me Stan.Copy !req
824. Elle Woods. Very nice to meet you.Copy !req
825. You're the girl with the perfumed poo baggies.Copy !req
826. I'm the woman with the scented waste receptacles.Copy !req
827. Wait! Congressman Stanford Marks?Copy !req
828. As in the Southern conservative...Copy !req
829. NRA spokesman Alabama Republican Stanford Marks?Copy !req
830. One and the same.Copy !req
831. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.Copy !req
832. No, Congressman, the pleasure is all mine.Copy !req
833. - Well... -Believe me.Copy !req
834. Here's to getting things done the Washington way.Copy !req
835. Your chief of staff has just gotten herself...Copy !req
836. a meeting with—wait for it— Chairman Stan Marks...Copy !req
837. in just four short weeks.Copy !req
838. - Congratulations, Grace. -Yes!Copy !req
839. Oh, yes. OK, who wants to bet...Copy !req
840. over-under on Ms. Woods departure?Copy !req
841. Right now it's at six days.Copy !req
842. - Reena? -No, thanks.Copy !req
843. - Reena? -No, thanks.Copy !req
844. Come on. Anybody?Copy !req
845. Who wants to take over six days?Copy !req
846. I'll take it, Grace.Copy !req
847. I've been so busy. I'm sorry I'm late.Copy !req
848. Reena, could you be a pal and just tell me...Copy !req
849. what I'm doing a week from tomorrow?Copy !req
850. By the way, that outfit looks fantastic on you.Copy !req
851. It really brings out the color in your eyes.Copy !req
852. Thanks.Copy !req
853. It's on my "l brake for sample sales" bookmark.Copy !req
854. 9:00—sample custom color wedding cake frosting.Copy !req
855. 10:00— rehearse hearing speech.Copy !req
856. 11:00— Commerce committee hearing.Copy !req
857. 12:00— exfoliating treatment—Copy !req
858. Go back to that one at 11:00.Copy !req
859. 11:00— Commerce committee hearing.Copy !req
860. That's what it says.Copy !req
861. I'm going to be appearing before ranking member...Copy !req
862. Libby Hauser, Chairman Stanford Marks...Copy !req
863. and the entire Committee of En and Comm.Copy !req
864. A hop, skip, and a jump away from a floor vote.Copy !req
865. Nice try, but you have to get a bill...Copy !req
866. before you have a hearing.Copy !req
867. Like this one?Copy !req
868. It's like I was saying to the congresswoman...Copy !req
869. the other day over caramel macchiatos.Copy !req
870. "ls bill writing super fun or what?"Copy !req
871. I think so.Copy !req
872. Where is that Elle Woods?Copy !req
873. Oh, my God.Copy !req
874. - Libby just told me the news. -She did?Copy !req
875. Never underestimate a woman...Copy !req
876. with a French manicure and a Harvard law degree.Copy !req
877. Thank you, Victoria. That's very sweet of you...Copy !req
878. but I couldn't have done it without your inspiration.Copy !req
879. I'm honored. This girl is special.Copy !req
880. Actually, I didn't do it alone.Copy !req
881. The entire team helped me. It was really a group effort.Copy !req
882. Good work, guys. Really good work.Copy !req
883. - You. -Thanks.Copy !req
884. Thank you, Reena. You're a sweetheart.Copy !req
885. And I guess I will see you at the hopper.Copy !req
886. Ask not what your best friend can do for man...Copy !req
887. but what you can do for man's best friend.Copy !req
888. The Committee on Energy and Commerce...Copy !req
889. will now come to order.Copy !req
890. HR 2562, aka Bruiser's Bill—Copy !req
891. Representative Victoria Rudd, sponsor...Copy !req
892. proposing a ban on animal testing...Copy !req
893. in the cosmetics industry.Copy !req
894. I'd like to welcome you all today as we begin...Copy !req
895. consideration of this very important issue.Copy !req
896. This week, you will hear testimony from both sides...Copy !req
897. and I ask that you keep your ears and your minds open.Copy !req
898. This is my first congressional hearing.Copy !req
899. Can you believe it?Copy !req
900. And so I come to you today as a citizen...Copy !req
901. and a scientist with the National lnstitute of HealthCopy !req
902. for 25 years, during which time...Copy !req
903. it's become increasingly clear that these supposed alternativesCopy !req
904. to animal testing aren't alternatives at all.Copy !req
905. I took this office to represent my two-legged constituents.Copy !req
906. Recently, I saw an item in a pet store with the label...Copy !req
907. "This product is tested on humans."Copy !req
908. That's a problem worth discussing.Copy !req
909. All the bleeding hearts...Copy !req
910. will try to distract us from the facts...Copy !req
911. with their saccharine talk of wagging tails...Copy !req
912. cold noses, and other sentimental mumbo jumbo.Copy !req
913. Consider this—where we see softness of heart...Copy !req
914. we often see softness of mind.Copy !req
915. And so to move on such a bill at this juncture in time...Copy !req
916. would wreak havoc on already unstable...Copy !req
917. Iocal economies across the country.Copy !req
918. Now, that's a problem worth discussing.Copy !req
919. You know I'd do anything for you...Copy !req
920. but I got to tell you, that is one tough room.Copy !req
921. - Better be prepared tomorrow. -All right.Copy !req
922. Excuse me, ladies. Good evening.Copy !req
923. I know you've had a bad day in court before.Copy !req
924. It's the same thing.Copy !req
925. They make their case, we make ours.Copy !req
926. Yes, but that was bad.Copy !req
927. They're mostly posturing for their constituents back home.Copy !req
928. I think we have the votes in committee...Copy !req
929. even without your testimony.Copy !req
930. But they have scientists and economists and facts.Copy !req
931. So do we. Elle, listen to me.Copy !req
932. Go home. Have an early evening.Copy !req
933. Sorry.Copy !req
934. Victoria Rudd. Yes.Copy !req
935. Hang on one minute, will you?Copy !req
936. Go home. Try to relax.Copy !req
937. And don't think like them. Think like you.Copy !req
938. OK. Thanks.Copy !req
939. - Good night. -Good night.Copy !req
940. Bob, how are you?Copy !req
941. I'm leaving the Capitol right now.Copy !req
942. - Thanks. Nice work. -Oh.Copy !req
943. Sid?Copy !req
944. I'm sorry about that. This happens all the time.Copy !req
945. My break is almost up...Copy !req
946. but I wanted to get you this before tomorrow.Copy !req
947. Great. Let's walk.Copy !req
948. Sidney, this is brilliant.Copy !req
949. How did you know all this?Copy !req
950. Hundreds of dogs walked and thousands of plastic baggies.Copy !req
951. This is perfect. This is exactly what I need.Copy !req
952. Well, of course I appreciate your support.Copy !req
953. Why wouldn't it continue?Copy !req
954. I'm already on record on that issue.Copy !req
955. All right.Copy !req
956. I'll do what I can.Copy !req
957. Don't push me, Bob.Copy !req
958. I'll do what I can.Copy !req
959. All right. Good night.Copy !req
960. - I need to call in my favor. -I'm listening.Copy !req
961. I've changed my position on Bruiser's Bill.Copy !req
962. A man who controls a political machine...Copy !req
963. Boy, he's good. He is really good.Copy !req
964. I'm really glad we're watching this.Copy !req
965. This is good for you.Copy !req
966. He promised to break me in two.Copy !req
967. I'm starting to worry about...Copy !req
968. getting all this wedding planning done.Copy !req
969. Elle, I want you to follow my lead in Washington.Copy !req
970. And always make sure Bruiser wears a sweater.Copy !req
971. - Is that Sean Connery? -No, it's not.Copy !req
972. Powerful enough to control congressmen...Copy !req
973. Seriously, honey, don't worry about the wedding research.Copy !req
974. Just give 'em hell tomorrow.Copy !req
975. The chair now recognizes legislative aide Elle Woods.Copy !req
976. Thank you, Mr. Chairman.Copy !req
977. There she is!Copy !req
978. Guys, she really did it.Copy !req
979. Miss Woods?Copy !req
980. Well, I'll be damned.Copy !req
981. Representative Kroft...Copy !req
982. that lip gloss looks absolutely sensational on you.Copy !req
983. I'm sorry, what?Copy !req
984. It's Raspberry Macaroon number 156.Copy !req
985. Company shall remain nameless, is that correct?Copy !req
986. Well, yes. But how did you—Copy !req
987. What if I told you, Representative Kroft...Copy !req
988. that you owe that special bounce in your step...Copy !req
989. that only comes from finding the perfect lipstick...Copy !req
990. to the pain and suffering of innocent animals?Copy !req
991. What if I was to tell you...Copy !req
992. Congresswoman Madeline Melanie Kroft...Copy !req
993. that you owe your Raspberry Macaroon...Copy !req
994. to him?Copy !req
995. My best friend.Copy !req
996. Bruiser.Copy !req
997. How many times has he acted on my behalf?Copy !req
998. Countless.Copy !req
999. But today, I get the opportunity to speak for him.Copy !req
1000. Who do you speak for?Copy !req
1001. Congressman Fuchs...Copy !req
1002. the next time you reach for your overnight moisturizing gloves—Copy !req
1003. By the way, it's nothing to be ashamed about.Copy !req
1004. More men should use them.Copy !req
1005. Consider asking yourself what you're willing to sacrifice...Copy !req
1006. in the name of beauty and soft cuticles.Copy !req
1007. Are you willing to sacrifice animal welfare?Copy !req
1008. Or how about the welfare of one animal?Copy !req
1009. Like Jelly, your childhood pal...Copy !req
1010. that striking retriever-black lab mix.Copy !req
1011. You know about Jelly?Copy !req
1012. When all the other children refused to play Lone Ranger...Copy !req
1013. who was it that was always your Tonto?Copy !req
1014. Jelly Belly.Copy !req
1015. Mr. Chairman...Copy !req
1016. when you look in those snap-worthy almond eyes...Copy !req
1017. of your Rottweiler Leslie...Copy !req
1018. does it not make your heart glow with warmth?Copy !req
1019. With due respect, Ms. Woods, I wouldn't go that far.Copy !req
1020. But when he learned to differentiate...Copy !req
1021. between seven different kinds of pipes...Copy !req
1022. and fetch each one on command, did you not swear...Copy !req
1023. to protect him with every shotgun...Copy !req
1024. in your charming little ammunitions case?Copy !req
1025. It wouldn't come to that.Copy !req
1026. This is a dog we're talking about.Copy !req
1027. But if you could speak for Leslie...Copy !req
1028. what would you say?Copy !req
1029. What would Leslie want you to say for him, Mr. Chairman?Copy !req
1030. Stan.Copy !req
1031. To hell with it.Copy !req
1032. My Rottweiler Les is of the homosexual orientation.Copy !req
1033. I've said it. I'm out.Copy !req
1034. My name is Stan Marks, I'm a conservative Republican...Copy !req
1035. NRA spokesman, and my dog is gay.Copy !req
1036. And guess what?Copy !req
1037. I couldn't be prouder of the little flamer!Copy !req
1038. I don't care how good my hair looks...Copy !req
1039. slicked back with some high-dollar pomade.Copy !req
1040. Just one long stare into that sweet sissy dog's eyes...Copy !req
1041. and I know no cosmetic could ever be worth it!Copy !req
1042. Bruiser's Bill.Copy !req
1043. Bruiser's Bill!Copy !req
1044. We did it! Bill passing!Copy !req
1045. Bruiser's Bill!Copy !req
1046. Important legislation for our time.Copy !req
1047. Bruiser, good work, little guy.Copy !req
1048. I would like to conclude this hearing...Copy !req
1049. by thanking you all for your testimony—Copy !req
1050. Mr. Chairman, sir...Copy !req
1051. The chair recognizes...Copy !req
1052. the gentlewoman from Massachusetts.Copy !req
1053. Mr. Chairman, committee members...Copy !req
1054. I would like to thank you for your consideration of this bill.Copy !req
1055. However, after further reflection...Copy !req
1056. on the budgetary realities of this fiscal year...Copy !req
1057. I feel I must withdraw my support for Bruiser's Bill.Copy !req
1058. - What? -I concur!Copy !req
1059. Everybody, calm down.Copy !req
1060. I'm sorry, Bruiser.Copy !req
1061. I'm sorry, too, Elle.Copy !req
1062. I know you think I've let you down.Copy !req
1063. Believe me, I thought about your reaction...Copy !req
1064. maybe more than I should have.Copy !req
1065. You were outmaneuvered...Copy !req
1066. by Grace.Copy !req
1067. Grace?Copy !req
1068. For the last two sessions she's been pushing...Copy !req
1069. this homeowners incentives bill.Copy !req
1070. This morning she struck a deal.Copy !req
1071. I withdraw my support for Bruiser's Bill.Copy !req
1072. Homeowners incentives comes to a vote.Copy !req
1073. That was the price and I paid it.Copy !req
1074. That's all just deals and trades and secrets.Copy !req
1075. That's not what people want.Copy !req
1076. Elle... I'm sorry.Copy !req
1077. Government of the people...Copy !req
1078. by the people, for the people.Copy !req
1079. So what's your story?Copy !req
1080. Were you even honest?Copy !req
1081. I guess you were.Copy !req
1082. If you didn't play games...Copy !req
1083. then you were probably the only one.Copy !req
1084. I just don't know how you did it.Copy !req
1085. I don't even mean wearing that silly hat...Copy !req
1086. because that was really brave.Copy !req
1087. But...Copy !req
1088. Just trusting your country.Copy !req
1089. Trusting this system...Copy !req
1090. Trusting yourself.Copy !req
1091. I did.Copy !req
1092. Go on. It's full of warm fuzzies.Copy !req
1093. With extra fuzz.Copy !req
1094. "Elle Woods has amazing lateral delts."Copy !req
1095. That was my target muscle group of the month.Copy !req
1096. Snaps for Elle's lateral delts.Copy !req
1097. "Elle Woods inspires us."Copy !req
1098. We even put little hearts over the "ls".Copy !req
1099. - I see that. -It was my idea.Copy !req
1100. Thank you, Timothy.Copy !req
1101. Thank you, everybody. This is really nice.Copy !req
1102. But I just don't think I'm cut out for this.Copy !req
1103. Elle, we have a plan.Copy !req
1104. Two words for you— Discharge petition.Copy !req
1105. With a couple hundred signatures...Copy !req
1106. we can spring Bruiser's Bill from committee...Copy !req
1107. straight to the House floor for a vote.Copy !req
1108. I don't know. That sounds really complicated.Copy !req
1109. You've come farther than any of us...Copy !req
1110. while maintaining your bounce and sparkle.Copy !req
1111. We never sparkle.Copy !req
1112. None of us thought one person could make a difference...Copy !req
1113. until you came along.Copy !req
1114. If I remember correctly, isn't that 218 signatures?Copy !req
1115. It's not that hard.Copy !req
1116. Yeah.Copy !req
1117. Yeah.Copy !req
1118. I guess I know women with more shoes than that.Copy !req
1119. Wait, that's me.Copy !req
1120. Elle...Copy !req
1121. it's time to finish what you started.Copy !req
1122. OK, people, a lot on the agenda today.Copy !req
1123. Reenie, I'm still waiting on those one-minute floor speeches.Copy !req
1124. Timothy, I need recon on that campaign finance reform hearing.Copy !req
1125. Grace, status meeting in my office right away.Copy !req
1126. I said now.Copy !req
1127. Where's my staff?Copy !req
1128. They quit, without notice.Copy !req
1129. Why?Copy !req
1130. Marks and Hauser just filed a petition...Copy !req
1131. to discharge Bruiser's Bill.Copy !req
1132. I'm pretty sure that's where your staff is...Copy !req
1133. led by their commander Sorority Sue.Copy !req
1134. Petition to discharge HR 2652, aka Bruiser's Bill...Copy !req
1135. carried with no objections.Copy !req
1136. The petition is filed and available for signature.Copy !req
1137. Actually, we are strictly...Copy !req
1138. "bring your own" on the discharge petition.Copy !req
1139. But it's pink... and scented.Copy !req
1140. Gives it something extra, don't you think?Copy !req
1141. We've both signed it, as you can see.Copy !req
1142. I believe we're being dismissed. Thank you.Copy !req
1143. There will be others to come and sign.Copy !req
1144. - Don't you like pink? -Come on!Copy !req
1145. Up on your feet, people.Copy !req
1146. Discharge petition time.Copy !req
1147. Upsy-daisy.Copy !req
1148. We have our work cut out for us. Let's go.Copy !req
1149. OK, we have two signatures. 216 to go.Copy !req
1150. I'll break up the country into color codes.Copy !req
1151. Timothy, you're teal.Copy !req
1152. Reena, you're magenta.Copy !req
1153. And Elle is marigold.Copy !req
1154. And I've got the Wellington covered.Copy !req
1155. 37 signatures in residence.Copy !req
1156. Sid Post, 37.Copy !req
1157. Congress adjourns in 3 weeks. We can't do this alone.Copy !req
1158. That's why I'm calling in reinforcements.Copy !req
1159. I hope we're talking...Copy !req
1160. the brightest political minds in the country.Copy !req
1161. We're here!Copy !req
1162. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1163. Oh, gosh, we can't wait to see the Mall.Copy !req
1164. And the Statue of Liberty.Copy !req
1165. Everybody, these are my Delta Nu sisters.Copy !req
1166. This is Margot and Serena.Copy !req
1167. Josh made the cruise boat pull over in Puerto Vallarta.Copy !req
1168. I left L.A. right after landing...Copy !req
1169. a lateral split in the third quarter dance break.Copy !req
1170. It was awesome. I went "Yah!" and "Haah!"Copy !req
1171. - That's so great. -Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
1172. So, is it time?Copy !req
1173. Oh, no, it's not time yet.Copy !req
1174. Hello? You're here?Copy !req
1175. We'll meet you in the lobby. Let's go.Copy !req
1176. Everybody, this is the final member of our team...Copy !req
1177. Paulette Parcelle.Copy !req
1178. Who's ready to discharge?Copy !req
1179. And proposition a bill and... whatever.Copy !req
1180. Let's hit the Hill.Copy !req
1181. If I could have a moment of your time—Copy !req
1182. You could consider something—Copy !req
1183. Quadrant 4, corridor 6, have lost one.Copy !req
1184. Sorry. How are you?Copy !req
1185. If I could have a minute of your time?Copy !req
1186. Reena, how are you?Copy !req
1187. Has anybody told you about Bruiser's Bill?Copy !req
1188. Is it trivial, Congressman Hannenfeld?Copy !req
1189. Animals don't have the same reactions...Copy !req
1190. to drugs that humans do.Copy !req
1191. It's like the time...Copy !req
1192. my trainer's sister's cousin's girlfriend...Copy !req
1193. gave her overweight Yorkie some phen-fen...Copy !req
1194. because she was a little bit fat...Copy !req
1195. and it gained three pounds.Copy !req
1196. Desired result? I don't think so.Copy !req
1197. You know?Copy !req
1198. Oh, my dear, gifted woman...Copy !req
1199. you tell that Bruiser Woods...Copy !req
1200. he can count on the Sunshine State.Copy !req
1201. Thank you, Ohio.Copy !req
1202. Thank you, Atlanta!Copy !req
1203. Who's next?Copy !req
1204. You're next!Copy !req
1205. We're gonna do it.Copy !req
1206. Serena...Copy !req
1207. why do they keep sending us to Room 216?Copy !req
1208. "lntern Orientation."Copy !req
1209. Margot, you're a genius.Copy !req
1210. If this doesn't get more signatures...Copy !req
1211. I don't know what will.Copy !req
1212. Intern class of 2003 on deck!Copy !req
1213. Remember, flexibility counts.Copy !req
1214. Ready? OK!Copy !req
1215. Dogs of the world unite!Copy !req
1216. 2... 4... 6... 8!Copy !req
1217. Sign the petition, win a date!Copy !req
1218. Go Bruiser's Bill, go!Copy !req
1219. Well, I'm signing.Copy !req
1220. Yes, Bob, I know what you're reading.Copy !req
1221. Are you kidding?Copy !req
1222. Your support has been invaluable to me.Copy !req
1223. If it weren't for you, I'd be painting my own posters.Copy !req
1224. I don't care if she has two weeks left.Copy !req
1225. She could have two years left.Copy !req
1226. She won't pull this off.Copy !req
1227. I will not be outmaneuvered by this silly little blonde.Copy !req
1228. Don't worry, Bob. I'll get her...Copy !req
1229. and her little dog, too.Copy !req
1230. Even with the entire Wellington...Copy !req
1231. and 68 life-changing haircuts under Paulette's belt...Copy !req
1232. we're still not even close.Copy !req
1233. We got a problem here.Copy !req
1234. The bad news is...Copy !req
1235. Reena.Copy !req
1236. Wow. You look amazing.Copy !req
1237. It's just layers and highlights...Copy !req
1238. and a cellulose finishing rinse.Copy !req
1239. I did it.Copy !req
1240. Cool.Copy !req
1241. What is the bad news?Copy !req
1242. We lost Hannenfeld. We were planning on him...Copy !req
1243. to bring Felsen, Parks, and Janowitz on board.Copy !req
1244. What are you talking about? I talked to Hannenfeld myself.Copy !req
1245. I confirmed with his aide this morning over breakfast.Copy !req
1246. I don't know. Somebody must've got to him at lunch.Copy !req
1247. It's Grace.Copy !req
1248. - Please make sure. -I will. Two weeks?Copy !req
1249. I'm looking for Grace Rossiter.Copy !req
1250. I just want to know if she's coming back soon.Copy !req
1251. Elle. Hi.Copy !req
1252. Oh, hi.Copy !req
1253. I was going to call you.Copy !req
1254. I was looking for Grace.Copy !req
1255. The discharge petition.Copy !req
1256. We lost Hannenfeld...Copy !req
1257. and I was wondering if Grace knew anything about it.Copy !req
1258. None of that is important anymore.Copy !req
1259. Could I speak with you for a moment?Copy !req
1260. Sure.Copy !req
1261. You did it, Elle. You won.Copy !req
1262. You can collect Bruiser's mom anytime you like.Copy !req
1263. What?Copy !req
1264. If you promise not to be disappointed in me again...Copy !req
1265. I'll tell you. I pulled a few strings.Copy !req
1266. C'est Magnifique is releasing all of their test animals.Copy !req
1267. All of them?Copy !req
1268. All of them. And what's more...Copy !req
1269. they have been so impressed...Copy !req
1270. with how you've handled yourself down here...Copy !req
1271. they want you on board as head of their legal department.Copy !req
1272. It's a very generous offer.Copy !req
1273. I don't know.Copy !req
1274. You did it.Copy !req
1275. You did what you came here to do.Copy !req
1276. Yeah, but what about the discharge petition?Copy !req
1277. This isn't about just one animal...Copy !req
1278. it's all of the animals.Copy !req
1279. I agree, but you've got a great team in place.Copy !req
1280. They can carry on without you.Copy !req
1281. C'est Magnifique wants you up there by Monday.Copy !req
1282. You can go home.Copy !req
1283. Congratulations, Elle.Copy !req
1284. Wow. Thank you. Thanks for doing that.Copy !req
1285. Well, sure.Copy !req
1286. We have to stick together, us Washington blondes.Copy !req
1287. Do you know who Representative Hannenfeld...Copy !req
1288. had lunch with today in the members dining room?Copy !req
1289. I skipped lunch today. Had a facial.Copy !req
1290. OK. Thanks.Copy !req
1291. I'll call you about that.Copy !req
1292. Yeah.Copy !req
1293. Emmett, I know you're probably in Case Law class right now...Copy !req
1294. but call me back when you get this.Copy !req
1295. I think I'm coming home.Copy !req
1296. But it's a good thing.Copy !req
1297. Maybe. Call me back.Copy !req
1298. Will you leave us alone now?Copy !req
1299. Excuse me?Copy !req
1300. I know you've been working against us...Copy !req
1301. and I know somehow it's personal.Copy !req
1302. - You don't like me. -Clearly.Copy !req
1303. If I leave Washington, will you call off the fight...Copy !req
1304. and let Bruiser's Bill have a fair shot?Copy !req
1305. Your bill is trivial to me. I have my own agenda.Copy !req
1306. Like the homeowners bill you pushed through at our expense?Copy !req
1307. That's all I'm asking, Grace—Copy !req
1308. Homeowners incentives? I wouldn't touch that bill.Copy !req
1309. It's a tax break for the wealthy.Copy !req
1310. Haven't you been pushing it for the last two sessions?Copy !req
1311. Victoria has a live interview with Connie Chung in an hour.Copy !req
1312. I don't have time for this.Copy !req
1313. That's the interview she's preparing for?Copy !req
1314. She's in makeup right now.Copy !req
1315. She's in makeup?Copy !req
1316. Mike test, 1-2-3.Copy !req
1317. Is Miss Chung available?Copy !req
1318. I'd like to go over some ground rulesCopy !req
1319. before we go on live, for goodness sakes.Copy !req
1320. Yes, OK. Thanks.Copy !req
1321. Doesn't she have a beautiful complexion?Copy !req
1322. She's like a PSA for SPF.Copy !req
1323. Thank you, Elle. I thought you were gone.Copy !req
1324. Home? No, no, no. I'm not ready yet—Copy !req
1325. Epidermally speaking, that is.Copy !req
1326. I'm actually feeling a little bit muddy.Copy !req
1327. I need a light exfoliation...Copy !req
1328. followed by super rich hydration...Copy !req
1329. and I thought, Victoria will have a good recommendation.Copy !req
1330. Sweetie, this really isn't the best time.Copy !req
1331. I know you're very busy...Copy !req
1332. so I already called your facialist.Copy !req
1333. The thing is she said you didn't come in today.Copy !req
1334. Oh, no, no. I went someplace else.Copy !req
1335. Someplace new. Is that all?Copy !req
1336. No, that's not all.Copy !req
1337. Every woman knows that a good facial...Copy !req
1338. can be a painful experience if done properly...Copy !req
1339. resulting in red blotchy areas all over your skin...Copy !req
1340. swelling, tenderness in your T-zone area.Copy !req
1341. Even more so if your facialist is Eastern European...Copy !req
1342. as so many of the best are.Copy !req
1343. Payback for the fall of Communism, I like to say.Copy !req
1344. What on earth are you talking about?Copy !req
1345. Isn't it the first rule of facials...Copy !req
1346. that there's a 24-hour window between a facial...Copy !req
1347. and any major occasion such as a date or a dance...Copy !req
1348. or maybe an interview with Mrs. Maury Povich?Copy !req
1349. I don't think that's a rule...Copy !req
1350. the most well-groomed woman in Washington would forget.Copy !req
1351. This is ridiculous. Could we clear this room?Copy !req
1352. You lied to me about your lunch hour.Copy !req
1353. Why? Because you were having lunch with Hannenfeld?Copy !req
1354. You've been lobbying against us all this time.Copy !req
1355. For God's sakes, enough. Thank you. Out, out, out.Copy !req
1356. Thank you. I'll be with you in a moment.Copy !req
1357. Yes. I lied to you. I killed Bruiser's Bill.Copy !req
1358. But you're an animal lover.Copy !req
1359. What about Dolly Madison, your beagle?Copy !req
1360. Not mine. I borrowed it.Copy !req
1361. And it reeked. Looked good on the sofa.Copy !req
1362. We've been through all of this before.Copy !req
1363. I traded your bill for the homeowners bill...Copy !req
1364. that Grace had committed me to.Copy !req
1365. That's a lie. Grace never wanted that.Copy !req
1366. You blocked this bill and I want to know why.Copy !req
1367. - Why? -Yes, why?Copy !req
1368. Why does anything happen in Washington? Survival.Copy !req
1369. You have no idea what it takes to get here and stay here.Copy !req
1370. The money it takes.Copy !req
1371. It just so happens that my chief financial contributorCopy !req
1372. purchased half share in a major cosmetics company...Copy !req
1373. and they want to continue testing on animals...Copy !req
1374. so much so that they're willing...Copy !req
1375. to bankroll my opponent in next year's elections...Copy !req
1376. if I did not kill your bill.Copy !req
1377. I trusted you.Copy !req
1378. I looked up to you.Copy !req
1379. I can't do anyone any good if I'm no longer here.Copy !req
1380. But you're not doing anybody any good.Copy !req
1381. Nobody in your district, not even yourself.Copy !req
1382. And I'm sorry, but I can't let that happen.Copy !req
1383. You can't prove why I changed my vote...Copy !req
1384. or how I blocked your bill.Copy !req
1385. It's your word against mine...Copy !req
1386. and I've spent 20 years building up my credibility...Copy !req
1387. in this town and back home.Copy !req
1388. I'm not going to the press.Copy !req
1389. I don't believe in blackmail.Copy !req
1390. But I do believe in the people...Copy !req
1391. and I'm going to take Bruiser's Bill to them.Copy !req
1392. The people believe what we tell them to believe.Copy !req
1393. It'll never work, Elle.Copy !req
1394. You can't get the people to care.Copy !req
1395. Watch me.Copy !req
1396. Ladies...Copy !req
1397. it's time.Copy !req
1398. You mean...Copy !req
1399. Are you sure?Copy !req
1400. As sure as I am that nobody looks good in paisley.Copy !req
1401. Are you with me?Copy !req
1402. I think so. Serena?Copy !req
1403. Yeah. Yes. We're with you, Elle.Copy !req
1404. Go for it.Copy !req
1405. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1406. Delta Nu president, Chapter 2-6...Copy !req
1407. I.D. Number 097435. Third from the top.Copy !req
1408. 6234978, fifth from the top...Copy !req
1409. calling to activate phone tree number 255.Copy !req
1410. Call to activate phone tree 255!Copy !req
1411. This is not a fire drill.Copy !req
1412. I repeat, this is not a drill!Copy !req
1413. Sisters mobilized. E.T.A. 0800 hours.Copy !req
1414. - Hi, Heather, it's Buffy. -Hi, Kiki, it's Tiffani.Copy !req
1415. - Hi, Amber, it's Becky. -Hi, Audrey, it's Melanie.Copy !req
1416. - Hi, Jos, it's Breena. -Hi, Courtney, it's Veronica.Copy !req
1417. - Hi, Christy, it's Nat. -Hi, Binky, it's Nicki.Copy !req
1418. - Hi, Jill, it's Jojo. -Hi, Allison, it's Cookie.Copy !req
1419. You will never believe what happened.Copy !req
1420. Elle just called and she needs our help...Copy !req
1421. Suzy, we're taking it to Defcon One.Copy !req
1422. There's a crisis right now.Copy !req
1423. Where the president is. Exactly.Copy !req
1424. There's an emergency in Washington.Copy !req
1425. Road trip?Copy !req
1426. OK, see you in Washington.Copy !req
1427. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1428. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1429. Help me out, tell a friend.Copy !req
1430. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1431. I like your necklace.Copy !req
1432. Gay Dogs of America support Bruiser's Bill!Copy !req
1433. We're gonna tee it around 12:00—Copy !req
1434. Miss, save me a good one.Copy !req
1435. Full-color big picture of Bruiser.Copy !req
1436. Emmett! What are you doing here?Copy !req
1437. Wedding research.Copy !req
1438. What?Copy !req
1439. Elle, your work is here now and it's important.Copy !req
1440. So I'm bringing the wedding to you.Copy !req
1441. First step, get groom to Washington.Copy !req
1442. But what about Fenway Park?Copy !req
1443. Look, I don't care where I marry you...Copy !req
1444. just as long as I do.Copy !req
1445. I do. I do. Feels good.Copy !req
1446. So what's Step Two?Copy !req
1447. That's Step Two.Copy !req
1448. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1449. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1450. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1451. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1452. Colorado. Photo ops after.Copy !req
1453. Grace, are you all right?Copy !req
1454. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1455. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1456. Save Bruiser's mom!Copy !req
1457. Rutherford. Check.Copy !req
1458. Porter. Check.Copy !req
1459. Hutchins. Check.Copy !req
1460. Uh-oh. That's it.Copy !req
1461. It's not enough.Copy !req
1462. Tomorrow's a wash.Copy !req
1463. It's National Education Day.Copy !req
1464. Got a meeting of both Houses, ceremonial speeches—Copy !req
1465. there's no time for politicking.Copy !req
1466. Sorry, Elle, we tried.Copy !req
1467. We have to keep trying.Copy !req
1468. Hello?Copy !req
1469. You want those last fifteen signatures?Copy !req
1470. Grace?Copy !req
1471. It'll take something extraordinary.Copy !req
1472. You'll have to pull something...Copy !req
1473. no regular citizen would ever dream of.Copy !req
1474. Fine, but how am I going to do that?Copy !req
1475. You're going to address the entire Congress...Copy !req
1476. and I know just the person to make it happen.Copy !req
1477. Who? Is that even possible?Copy !req
1478. Look, Elle, you may be above blackmail...Copy !req
1479. but I'm not.Copy !req
1480. Grace, why are you helping me?Copy !req
1481. Because once upon a time I loved politics...Copy !req
1482. and I want to do some good.Copy !req
1483. What has that got to do with me?Copy !req
1484. Look, those silly girls that I told you about...Copy !req
1485. with the blisters on their feet?Copy !req
1486. I was one of them.Copy !req
1487. We have celebrated today elementary education...Copy !req
1488. secondary and higher education...Copy !req
1489. and now...Copy !req
1490. Don't even think about it.Copy !req
1491. And now...Copy !req
1492. This is a little unconventional.Copy !req
1493. With the Speaker's...Copy !req
1494. and the president of the Senate's permission...Copy !req
1495. please indulge me as I share the floor...Copy !req
1496. with my constituent...Copy !req
1497. who in the spirit of education...Copy !req
1498. would like to educate us all on a vital issue...Copy !req
1499. facing us today.Copy !req
1500. Ladies and gentlemen of both Houses...Copy !req
1501. I give you Ms. Elle Woods.Copy !req
1502. It's all yours.Copy !req
1503. Thank you, Congresswoman.Copy !req
1504. Hello, everyone, my name is Elle Woods...Copy !req
1505. and I'm here to speak to you today...Copy !req
1506. about a piece of legislation called Bruiser's Bill.Copy !req
1507. But you know...Copy !req
1508. today is supposed to be about education.Copy !req
1509. So instead, I want to tell you about the education...Copy !req
1510. you all have given me over the past three months.Copy !req
1511. What about Bruiser's Bill? We still need 15 signatures.Copy !req
1512. She's blowing it.Copy !req
1513. I came to Washington to help my dog Bruiser...Copy !req
1514. and somewhere along the way...Copy !req
1515. I learned a really unexpected lesson.Copy !req
1516. I know what you're thinking— Who is this girl?Copy !req
1517. And what could this simple, small-town girl from Bel Air...Copy !req
1518. have to say to all of us? I'll tell you.Copy !req
1519. It's about something that's bigger than me...Copy !req
1520. or any single act of legislation.Copy !req
1521. This is about a matter that should be at...Copy !req
1522. the highest importance to every American—Copy !req
1523. My hair.Copy !req
1524. There's this salon in Beverly Hills.Copy !req
1525. It's really fancy and beautiful.Copy !req
1526. It's impossible to get an appointment.Copy !req
1527. Unless you're Julia Roberts or from "Friends"...Copy !req
1528. you can just forget it.Copy !req
1529. But one day, they called me. They had an opening.Copy !req
1530. So I was going to finally get the chance...Copy !req
1531. to sit in one of those sacred beauty chairs.Copy !req
1532. I was so excited.Copy !req
1533. Then the colorist...Copy !req
1534. gave me Brassy Brigitte instead of Harlow Honey.Copy !req
1535. The shampoo girl washed my hair with spiral perm solution...Copy !req
1536. instead of color-intensive moisturizing shampoo.Copy !req
1537. Finally, the stylist...Copy !req
1538. gave me a bob... with bangs.Copy !req
1539. Suffice to say, it was just wrong.Copy !req
1540. All wrong. For me, you know?Copy !req
1541. First I was angry.Copy !req
1542. And then I realized my anger was completely misdirected.Copy !req
1543. This wasn't the salon's fault.Copy !req
1544. I had sat there and witnessed this injustice...Copy !req
1545. and had let it happen.Copy !req
1546. I didn't get involved in the process.Copy !req
1547. I forgot to use my voice.Copy !req
1548. I forgot to believe in myself.Copy !req
1549. But now I know better.Copy !req
1550. I know that one honest voice can be louder than a crowd.Copy !req
1551. I know that if we lose our voice...Copy !req
1552. or if we let those who speak on our behalf...Copy !req
1553. compromise our voice...Copy !req
1554. then, this country...Copy !req
1555. this country is in for a really bad haircut.Copy !req
1556. So speak up, America.Copy !req
1557. Speak up!Copy !req
1558. Speak up for the home of the brave.Copy !req
1559. Speak up for the land of the free gift with purchase.Copy !req
1560. Speak up, America. Speak up!Copy !req
1561. And remember...Copy !req
1562. you are beautiful.Copy !req
1563. Thank you.Copy !req
1564. Thank you.Copy !req
1565. Everyone, it's time I spoke up.Copy !req
1566. I think Timothy's smoking!Copy !req
1567. I'm married.Copy !req
1568. Thank you.Copy !req
1569. You didn't! Thank you!Copy !req
1570. Thank you!Copy !req
1571. Thank you.Copy !req
1572. What is this? Oh, my God!Copy !req
1573. That's so perfect!Copy !req
1574. This week, Congresswoman Libby Hauser...Copy !req
1575. finished decorating her house...Copy !req
1576. sent her son off to college...Copy !req
1577. and negotiated a settlement...Copy !req
1578. between the San Antonio labor unions...Copy !req
1579. and the Department of Sanitation.Copy !req
1580. Snaps for Congresswoman Hauser!Copy !req
1581. Now that we're married, where do you want to live?Copy !req
1582. Beverly Hills? Boston? Washington?Copy !req
1583. - I know just the place. -Yeah?Copy !req