1. Hey, you got a permit
for those guns?
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2. I got your permit right here.
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3. 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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4. Catchy tune.
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5. Fuck this game.
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6. FUCK YOU!
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7. We need backup,
we need Kung Fury.
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8. SEDUCTIVE 80'S SAXOPHONE MUSIC
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9. Yeah, that's my bicep.
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10. One second babe.
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11. Hello?
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12. We got an arcade machine
down here going crazy,
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13. it is killing everybody,
it's destruction,
chaos, terror-
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14. What are you gonna do?
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15. My job.
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16. 80'S SYNTHPOP ACTION MUSIC
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17. 80'S TECHNOPOP ACTION MUSIC
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18. END OF 80'S TECHNOPOP
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19. Game over.
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20. KUNG FURY I'm a cop and
damn good at my job.
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21. It all began years ago.
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22. In the line of duty,
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23. me and my partner were
chasing down
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24. a mysterious Kung Fu-master.
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25. You're under arrest, punk.
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26. Show us your hands.
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27. Good work, Dragon.
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28. That crazy stunt could've
killed us both.
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29. But goddammit, you're the
best partner I've ever had.
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30. Thanks,
I learned from the best.
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31. You're like a father to me.
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32. With one fatal blow,
he hit my partner.
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33. KUNG FURY I could tell
he was dead straight off.
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34. Before I could pull the trigger
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35. I was hit by lightning
and bitten by a cobra.
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36. I blacked out.
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37. And saw images of ancient
Shaolin temples and monks,
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38. mastering the art of Kung Fu.
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39. There was an ancient prophecy,
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40. about a new form
of Kung Fu so powerful,
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41. only one man could master it.
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42. The chosen one.
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43. When I woke up,
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44. I saw the Kung Fu master
running towards me.
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45. I could feel my body mutate
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46. into some sort of
Kung Fu freak of nature.
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47. 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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48. You!
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49. You are the chosen one!
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50. - Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
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51. Knuckles.
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52. As a memento,
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53. I put on a strip of cloth
from the dead Kung Fu master.
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54. I decided I would use
my new super Kung Fu powers
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55. to fight crime.
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56. So, I became
the best cop in the world.
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57. I became, Kung Fury.
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58. 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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59. 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC FADES OUT
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60. I don't wanna hear it Kung Fury.
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61. I just got back from city hall,
$50 million worth of damages,
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62. and I got the mayor up
my ass like a fag on Viagra.
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63. How am I going to explain
this to the press, hm?
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64. You just destroyed an entire
city block for Christ's sake.
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65. Didn't you tell me
to block it out?
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66. I told you do it by the book.
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67. Cut the bullshit.
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68. Nobody else could have stopped
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69. that arcade machine
and you know it.
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70. Oh man, listen to me Kung Fury.
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71. You need to start following
the rules like the rest of us,
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72. so I'm assigning you
a new partner.
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73. What?
Hell no, I work alone.
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74. Not anymore you don't.
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75. Say hi to your new partner,
Triceracop.
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76. Very nice meeting you Kung Fury,
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77. looking forward to
working with you.
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78. You're like a father to me.
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79. I work alone.
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80. Either you team up
with Triceracop,
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81. or you're off the case.
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82. I'm not off the case,
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83. I quit.
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84. 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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85. 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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86. Yeah Yeah, I did the blood test.
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87. It was positive, yeah?
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88. What the hell
are you talking about?
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89. Yeah no problem.
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90. Give me the phone.
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91. What the hell is this?
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92. - Chief McNickles speaking.
- Is this the police?
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93. - Yeah, this is the police.
- Fuck you!
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94. MALFUNCTIONING?
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95. I need someone
to trace that call!
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96. But that's impossible!
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97. Not for me it isn't.
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98. Hackerman, he's the most
powerful hacker of all time.
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99. Follow me.
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100. I was able to triangulate
the cell phone signal
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101. and trace the caller.
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102. His name is Adolf Hitler.
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103. Hitler, he's the worst
criminal of all time.
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104. Do you know him, sir?
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105. I guess you could say that.
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106. In the 1940's,
Hitler was a Kung Fu champion.
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107. He was so good at Kung Fu,
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108. that he decided to change
his name to Kung Fuhrer.
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109. But he didn't stop there.
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110. He knew of
the Kung Fury prophecy,
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111. and wanted to claim the throne.
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112. He and his posse of
Nazi soldiers
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113. conducted experiments
for years.
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114. But they weren't able
to figure out
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115. how to master the art
of Kung Fury.
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116. And one day,
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117. he disappeared
from the face of the earth.
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118. And no-one has seen him
ever since.
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119. Until now.
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120. I guess he figured if he could
find and kill the chosen one,
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121. he would become
Kung Fury himself.
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122. He must have traveled in time
in order to get here,
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123. that's probably why
he disappeared.
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124. So, what're you gonna do?
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125. My job.
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126. I'm gonna go back in time
to Nazi Germany,
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127. and kill Hitler,
once and for all.
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128. So, how are you gonna do that?
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129. I'm not sure.
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130. I need some sort of
time machine.
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131. Wait a minute,
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132. using an RX modulator,
I might be able to conduct
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133. a mainframe cell direct and
hack the uplink to the download.
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134. What does that mean?
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135. With the right algorithms,
I can hack you back in time.
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136. Just like a time machine.
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137. Well then, it's hacking time.
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138. 80'S TECHNOPOP ACTION MUSIC
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139. 80'S ACTION MUSIC
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140. Oh, no!
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141. 80'S ACTION MUSIC
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142. SOFT 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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143. Fuck!
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144. That's a Laser-Raptor.
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145. I thought they went
extinct thousands of years ago.
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146. Who are you?
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147. My name,
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148. is Barbarianna.
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149. What year is this?
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150. It's the Viking age.
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151. That explains the Laser-Raptor.
Fuck!
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152. I went too far back in time.
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153. You need to get out
of this valley.
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154. This place is swarming
with Laser-Raptors.
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155. I'll meet you at the God's drop.
Katana can help you get there.
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156. Who's Katana?
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157. I'm Katana.
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158. I can give you a ride to Asgard.
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159. A ride on what?
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160. So, who are you?
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161. I'm a cop from the future.
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162. I was sent back in time
to kill Hitler,
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163. but I accidently went
too far back in time
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164. and ended up in this place.
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165. I know someone
who might be able to help you.
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166. Thor!
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167. Behold! It is me, Thor!
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168. Son of Odin
and protector of mankind.
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169. Check out my pecs.
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170. Your pecs are epic.
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171. Thanks bro!
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172. So, anyway.
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173. Thor, this is Kung Fury,
he's a cop from the future.
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174. Yeah, I need to get to
Nazi Germany and kill Hitler...
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175. - so if you could help me with—
- Stop!
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176. Hammer time.
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177. DRAMATIC 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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178. Walk through this portal and
you'll end up in Nazi Germany.
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179. Good luck to you Kung Fury!
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180. Thanks Thor!
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181. Well,
looks like this is my ride.
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182. Hey, future cop,
where are you going?
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183. You know what.
Here, take my number.
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184. And use this phone to call me.
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185. It's a personal, transportable,
cellular telephone.
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186. It features 645 channel
capacity,
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187. 10 number speed dial,
and an electronic security lock.
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188. This revolution in communication
could make it possible
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189. for more and more people
to have a phone in their car!
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190. 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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191. Tank you.
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192. I'm the greatest Kung Fu master
of all time,
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193. right guys?
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194. Thank you!
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195. I'm disarming you.
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196. My arm! My arm!
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197. Kill him!
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198. 80'S TECHNOPOP ACTION MUSIC
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199. You don't need that spine,
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200. it's holding your back!
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201. A-ha!
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202. Fuck you Kung Fury.
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203. Now nothing can stop me
and my army of death.
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204. Thank you guys!
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205. What the fuck?
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206. Kill them!
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207. 80'S TECHNOPOP ACTION MUSIC
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208. 80'S TECHNOPOP ACTION MUSIC
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209. Alright Hitler, the gig is up,
show me your hands.
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210. Hackerman,
have you seen Kung Fury?
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211. Oh, no! We were too late.
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212. UPBEAT 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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213. Who the hell are you?
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214. My name is Cobra.
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215. I've been expecting you
Kung Fury.
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216. I'm your spirit animal.
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217. What the hell is this place?
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218. This is heaven,
I'm afraid you're dead.
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219. What?
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220. But it looks so real.
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221. Yeah, no it's totally real.
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222. Mr. Cobra, I'm a police officer.
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223. I need you to send me
back to earth, pronto.
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224. I'm sorry,
I can't help you with that.
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225. You see, you're dead.
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226. - You're under arrest!
- What?
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227. For obstruction of justice,
you're breaking the law!
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228. What the hell happened?
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229. I hacked away all of
your bullet wounds Kung Fury.
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230. Thanks!
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231. I want to welcome you
and your friends to Germany.
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232. We are not so different,
you and I.
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233. I mean we both got
good style, you know?
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234. Red, you know?
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235. So, that's cool!
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236. We both like doing moves,
check it out!
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237. And killing people, I love it,
you clearly do, too!
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238. And that's cool!
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239. Join me,
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240. we could be brothers,
we are so alike.
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241. It's almost like
we finish each other's...
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242. - Balls.
- What?
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243. Oh, my,
not much left of him is there?
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244. The important thing is that
he is gone.
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245. Sorry I doubted you Triceracop.
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246. You're the best damn partner
I've ever had.
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247. I came back in time
for you Kung Fury,
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248. because, damn it,
I love you.
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249. TRIUMPHANT 80'S
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250. Team work is very important.
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251. So, what happens now Kung Fury?
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252. Well, I need to
head back to the office.
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253. Looks like it's gonna be
hell of a lot of paperwork.
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254. TRIUMPHANT 80'S
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255. Open the doors, Hoff.
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256. I'm sorry Fury,
I can't let you do that.
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257. Open the doors, Hoff!
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258. I'm sorry, I can't let you
open the doors Kung Fury.
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259. Goddammit, open the doors!
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260. - Sorry I can't—
- Open the doors!
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261. Did anyone ever tell you
not to hassle the Hoff 9000?
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262. Oh, Hoff 9000,
you son of a bitch.
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263. UPBEAT 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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264. Piece of shit.
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265. Oh, my,
not much left of him is there?
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266. The important thing is that
he is gone.
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267. Game over.
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268. Wait a minute,
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269. I've seen that symbol before...
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270. somewhere.
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271. Hitler!
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272. 80'S SYNTHPOP MUSIC
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