1. INSPECTOR CHAN
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2. SUPER CRIME FIGHTERS
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3. Anyone else?
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4. Such a beautiful woman...
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5. and you arrest her...
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6. just for spitting?
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7. Is there no justice?
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8. Is there no law?
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9. Commissioner is only your boss...
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10. because he paid his dues
to the Crocodile Gang.
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11. And you don't fucking know me?
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12. Sorry, I didn't know
she was your wife.
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13. Ugly coward!
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14. What are you looking at? Never seen
such a handsome gang boss?
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15. Who'd be in the film business?
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16. It's Sunday,
and the theater's deserted.
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17. Where's the car?
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18. Let's go back inside!
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19. Call for help!
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20. No need for that, Northerner.
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21. While you were messing with the cop,
your men signed up with us.
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22. I'll kill all you Axe Gangsters!
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23. Stop! You forget the time
I treated you to dinner.
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24. Brother Sum.
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25. Please...
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26. Please spare me.
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27. Don't worry.
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28. I don't kill women. You can go!
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29. Thank you, Big Brother.
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30. Cops! Come clean up the mess!
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31. THE AXE GANG
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32. In a time of social unrest
and disorder...
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33. the gangs have moved in
to consolidate their power.
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34. The most feared of them all
is the Axe Gang.
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35. Only in the poorest districts,
which hold no interest for the gangs..
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36. can people live in peace.
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37. PIG STY ALLEY
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38. One, two, three!
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39. - That okay, Coolie?
- No problem!
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40. TAILOR
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41. NOODLES AND CONGEE
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42. My check, please, Donut.
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43. - How much?
- It's on the house!
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44. Donut.
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45. - It's nothing.
- I like you.
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46. I'll ask the wife about
lowering your rent.
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47. Morning, Landlord!
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48. Landlord!
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49. Jill! How you've grown!
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50. Come let me examine you!
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51. Good to see you, Landlord!
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52. What's so good about it?
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53. Don't...!
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54. Can you make the skirt slit higher?
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55. Sure!
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56. Look, a comet!
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57. Jane! You naughty girl!
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58. Landlord! You're such a scoundrel!
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59. Don't go, Jane! Stay and chat!
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60. I'm only kidding. Jane!
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61. Landlady!
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62. Landlady!
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63. What happened to the water?
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64. Water ain't free!
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65. You talk a lot for someone
who won't pay his rent.
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66. But I'm in the middle of a shampoo.
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67. You think that's a problem?
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68. From now on, no water on Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays.
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69. Water ration Tuesdays, Thursdays
and Saturdays.
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70. I just love hearing you fools
complain. Assholes!
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71. Good morning, Landlady!
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72. Just pay your rent,
or I'll burn your shop down.
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73. What's so funny?
Rent's no laughing matter, fairy!
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74. Serves you right you're a coolie!
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75. Months overdue and not even
a "good morning."
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76. You'll be a coolie for life.
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77. There you go, handsome!
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78. What took you so long
with the congee?
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79. I stopped to help an old lady
cross the street.
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80. - What are you doing here?
- Checking for Peeping Toms.
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81. Was someone just spying on you,
Auntie Six?
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82. Don't shoot your mouth off
without proof.
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83. She's crazy.
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84. Go away!
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85. Please can you teach us, sir?
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86. No more soccer!
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87. - Who wants the cut?
- My boss.
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88. Take a seat.
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89. Done! Fifty cents, please.
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90. Isn't it great?
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91. It's too good!
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92. Why'd you make him look so good?
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93. Why?
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94. Don't get mad, boss.
He's my old buddy. I'll handle this.
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95. He's boss of the Axe Gang. Don't you
see the two axes? We're bad guys.
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96. Making him look good
is really bad. Understand?
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97. - I didn't know.
- You're a numskull!
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98. But I like you, so just pay me,
and I'll take care of it.
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99. No way!
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100. Steady with the axe, boss.
Let me talk to him.
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101. I really care for you. You saw it
for yourself. Seriously.
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102. Why don't you pay up. Not much.
Enough for a drink.
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103. Oh, so it's blackmail!
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104. Boss!
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105. Boss!
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106. Now you're dead!
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107. Looks like he's waking up!
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108. I'm not afraid.
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109. You can kill me.
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110. But there'll be thousands more of me!
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111. You want to play tough? The Axe
Gang boss is napping in there.
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112. Whoever wants to die,
step forward.
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113. So you want to fight?
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114. Great! We'll go one-on-one.
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115. Don't even think about cheating.
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116. That old woman with the onion!
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117. You look real tough. Want to try me?
I'll let you hit me first.
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118. What do you do?
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119. I'm a farmer.
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120. Farmers don't fight. Piss off!
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121. He's crazy!
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122. Calling me names?
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123. You're lucky you're a woman.
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124. Hey, shorty! Yeah, you!
If you're short, you don't retort.
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125. What did I say about cheating?
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126. Sit back down!
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127. You! The geezer with the glasses.
You look mean.
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128. No, not you. I mean...
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129. You!
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130. Hey, kid, let's rumble!
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131. All right, all right!
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132. So no one-on-ones today.
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133. You're all such wimps!
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134. He blackmailed me.
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135. Fat woman, you're
in charge here, right?
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136. Fat woman, my ass!
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137. I'm with the Axe Gang!
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138. Axe Gang, my ass!
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139. Boss!
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140. Boss, my ass!
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141. - You have to pay our medical bills!
- Bills, my ass!
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142. - We're on the same side!
- Same side, my ass!
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143. Think you're so tough?
I'll call for backup!
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144. You nitwit! Let's see you call backup!
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145. You don't know the backup I have.
I'm talking an army here.
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146. Don't you go away! Go put
a down payment on your coffin!
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147. Who threw the firecracker?
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148. I'm one of you, brother.
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149. Mind your own business!
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150. It's raining. Go bring in your laundry!
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151. Fat woman!
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152. You blackmailing me too? I ain't afraid.
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153. I...
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154. Did anyone see what happened?
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155. Don't! My back's broken!
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156. Call for help!
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157. Hold on, calm down. You hungry?
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158. Keep quiet.
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159. No.
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160. Who did this?
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161. I'll count to three.
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162. One...
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163. two...
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164. I did it!
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165. Are the goods okay, Brother Sum?
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166. Sorry!
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167. Look away, kid.
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168. Get rid of him!
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169. We're the bad guys!
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170. We're meant to do the ass-kicking...
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171. not the other way around.
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172. And it's all because these morons
posed as Axes.
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173. Don't waste your time, Brother Sum.
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174. We'll handle this.
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175. You! Take care of it.
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176. - Boy, can this guy pick locks.
- It's a living. Give me a break.
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177. Pick that one too, if you're so good.
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178. Come.
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179. I'll count to three.
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180. Hurry!
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181. Ready? Three!
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182. That's quick!
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183. Brother Sum, we really
want to be Axes.
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184. That's why we did what we did.
Give us a chance.
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185. Ever killed anyone?
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186. I've always thought about it.
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187. Then go kill someone.
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188. I will!
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189. Go on!
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190. Thank you, Brother Sum.
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191. We can always find a use for that type.
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192. I told you before,
you've got to look tough.
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193. Tougher!
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194. Tougher!
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195. Act the part.
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196. And try to stay awake.
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197. It's tiring being tough.
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198. Tiring? It's our living!
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199. The streets out there are filled
with money and women.
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200. You only need the will
and determination...
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201. to seize the opportunity to win.
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202. This is our big chance!
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203. We just kill someone,
and we're in the gang.
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204. Then it'll be money and women
all the way!
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205. Don't be like those beggars...
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206. with no ambition.
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207. Who are you looking at, four-eyes?
I'll smash your glasses!
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208. Get lost!
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209. Come here and say that!
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210. - You're really gonna kill someone?
- That's right!
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211. The four-eyes, the fat woman
and all the residents of Pig Sty.
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212. But they're good at kung fu.
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213. - I can do kung fu!
- Oh, yeah?
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214. Didn't I tell you I know
Buddhist Palm kung fu?
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215. Hey there, handsome boy. Stop.
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216. Amazing!
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217. Do you know you have
a special aura?
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218. You're so young, but you have
the bone structure...
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219. and chi flow of a kung-fu genius.
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220. If your chi flow can be channeled,
then you will be invincible!
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221. Like the old saying:
You cannot escape your destiny.
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222. The duty of upholding world peace
and punishing evil will be yours.
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223. Sure.
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224. This is the scroll of the Buddhist Palm.
It's priceless.
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225. But as it's fate,
I'll let you have it for $10.
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226. BUDDHIST PALM MANUAL
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227. - You gave him your life savings?
- Yes.
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228. I was saving to study to be
a doctor or lawyer...
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229. but this was world peace.
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230. Let go of the girl!
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231. Hey! It's the Buddhist Palm!
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232. "The 20-Cent Kung Fu Manual."
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233. You must be loaded.
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234. Have you killed anyone lately?
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235. He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers!
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236. I realized then that good guys
never win. I want to be bad.
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237. I want to be the killer!
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238. - Ice cream!
- Where?
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239. Make mine a vanilla.
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240. Chocolate for me!
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241. What're you looking at?
Never seen free ice cream before?
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242. Look at her run!
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243. You're such kung-fu masters,
go take it on the road.
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244. You belong in the circus, not here!
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245. Don't say that, Landlady.
There must be a reason they're here.
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246. Everyone has his reasons.
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247. We don't want to make trouble.
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248. I'm glad you get it.
The mob's mad at us.
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249. We'll never hear the end of it.
Why don't you get lost!
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250. Your wife shouldn't be so nasty.
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251. You okay?
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252. Masters.
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253. We have nothing precious
to give you...
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254. but take this as a token
of our appreciation.
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255. Thanks for saving us!
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256. Stop the crying. This isn't a show!
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257. - You're so cold-hearted.
- Talking back to me, eh?
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258. You may know kung fu,
but you're still a fairy.
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259. It's no crime to be good at kung fu!
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260. Once a fairy, always a fairy.
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261. Look at you. What's with
the red underwear?
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262. Why not a diaper while you're at it.
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263. What's wrong with red underwear?
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264. Where were you
when there was trouble?
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265. If it weren't for them, we'd be finished.
Be reasonable!
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266. I'll reason with you.
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267. You owe me three months' rent.
That's $90.
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268. Pay up or pack up!
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269. Don't you worry. I'll pay it.
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270. Think you're a smartass,
Rabbit-Tooth Jane?
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271. What's it to you, tub of lard?
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272. Bitch!
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273. Calm down, Landlady.
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274. This is your fault.
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275. - Are you trying to kill us?
- You're right.
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276. How could you do that?
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277. Shut the hell up!
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278. You think you can out-yell me?
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279. The fat lady can really sing.
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280. Watch this!
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281. What happened?
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282. What do you mean,
what happened? You try it.
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283. - Me?
- Quick!
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284. Sorry! You okay?
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285. I think you should get closer
and take better aim. Okay?
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286. Okay!
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287. - Who's throwing the handles?
- Handle?
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288. Where's the third knife?
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289. God knows where it went.
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290. Could it be the same one? Can't be...
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291. - Don't!
- Sorry.
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292. What are you trying to say?
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293. I just remembered I have
something to do. See you!
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294. Uh-oh. They've seen us!
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295. Stay back!
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296. Don't panic! Snakes like music.
If I whistle, they won't bite.
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297. Please, no more bright ideas.
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298. Oh, what the hell!
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299. Not you again, asshole!
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300. Get back to your business!
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301. Split up!
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302. Split?
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303. What're you doing here?
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304. Looking for you. Weren't you hurt?
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305. I'm fine!
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306. How come you always recover so fast?
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307. I don't know.
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308. - Which hospital did you go to?
- Don't remember.
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309. Maybe it's better that way.
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310. Memories can be painful.
To forget may be a blessing!
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311. I never knew you were so deep.
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312. All the sadness one can bear...
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313. down the river everywhere.
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314. Hey, get out of the way!
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315. Move!
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316. I'll slap you to kingdom come!
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317. Look at those four-eyes
carting around a coffin.
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318. What morons!
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319. Don't blame me for making you leave.
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320. We'll let Buddha decide...
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321. whether you stay...
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322. or go.
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323. HORRIFICALLY BAD FATE
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324. Have some tea.
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325. We're grateful for
some professional help.
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326. We understand the problem.
Twelve Kicks from the Tam School...
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327. Iron Fist from the Hung School
and the Hexagon Staff...
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328. Those guys at Pig Sty are really good.
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329. Their warrior days are long over...
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330. but they're still top fighters.
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331. This job is a great challenge for us.
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332. Now, that's professionalism.
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333. Number One Killers. Expensive, yes,
but worth every penny!
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334. No!
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335. Number one is the Beast,
the world's top killer.
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336. He was so dedicated to kung fu,
he went crazy.
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337. I heard he's now in an asylum.
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338. So you're the top killers now.
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339. Strictly speaking,
we're just musicians.
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340. A song that wrenches the heart
O where do I find a knowing ear?
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341. Great poem, isn't it?
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342. We'll be saying goodbye soon.
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343. Who knows when we'll see
each other again.
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344. We're three of a kind.
Wish we'd known before.
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345. Let's take this opportunity
to spar a little.
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346. No. We still have a lot to pack.
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347. You're right.
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348. Twelve Kicks of the Tam School!
Superb attack and defense!
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349. Iron Fist: powerful yet delicate.
Topnotch!
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350. Hexagon Staff, with its
thousand moves. Mystical!
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351. Till we meet again!
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352. More lipstick!
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353. Stay there, or I'll break you in half.
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354. Sorry, we're closed.
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355. You can make a suit in no time.
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356. We're moving.
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357. This is good material!
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358. You know your stuff.
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359. This has high artistic value.
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360. How high?
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361. At least a few stories...
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362. Insulting the Axe Gang!
We'll show them.
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363. Let's kill them all and make
this place a brothel.
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364. Don't block my view!
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365. What's going on?
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366. Good!
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367. Don't block my view!
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368. Damn! I told those nitwits to leave,
but they're still here.
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369. - Really?
- Yeah.
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370. What the hell is this fighting?
Who'll pay for the damage?
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371. Sorry, sorry. It's nothing!
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372. You know what time it is?
I have to sleep.
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373. Hey, fatso, eat shit and die!
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374. Die? In this racket?
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375. Sorry, sorry!
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376. Get out of my way!
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377. Hang in there, Tailor.
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378. Be quiet!
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379. Give us a break! Why push us so far?
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380. There's another master?
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381. It's the Lion's Roar!
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382. I thought that was a myth.
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383. Who knew the Lion's Roar
really exists?
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384. That's the last we'll see of them.
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385. It's bad, Brother Sum.
Quick, start the car!
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386. Start the car!
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387. Boss!
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388. Keep it down! Have you no manners?
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389. Get lost. People are trying to sleep.
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390. They have to work tomorrow.
Get out of here!
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391. Scumbags!
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392. I can't hang on much longer.
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393. But having seen
real masters like you...
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394. I can now die in peace.
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395. Don't say that.
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396. We're ordinary folks.
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397. Ordinary's a blessing.
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398. Don't call us masters.
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399. But you're such great fighters!
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400. If only you'd helped earlier,
they wouldn't have to die this way.
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401. Like Donut said,
everyone has his reasons.
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402. Years ago...
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403. we saw our only son killed in a fight.
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404. Revenge can be devastating.
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405. Do you understand?
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406. Why don't you train us
to be top fighters...
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407. and we'll avenge them!
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408. Becoming a top fighter takes time.
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409. Unless you're a natural-born
kung-fu genius.
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410. And they're one in a million.
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411. It's obvious I'm the one!
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412. Don't think so.
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413. Everyone! We swore
we'd never fight again.
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414. But we broke that promise today.
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415. For your own safety, please all leave!
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416. In great power lies great responsibility.
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417. There's no escaping from it.
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418. Donut, you're hurt bad.
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419. Rest now.
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420. We can't understand
what you're saying.
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421. Donut!
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422. I know you, four-eyes!
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423. You seem prejudiced against
the sight-challenged.
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424. That's right.
Especially gold-framed four-eyes.
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425. Gold frames are perfect for clerks.
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426. I think I look good.
So why keep picking on me?
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427. Help me!
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428. "Help me! Help me!"
Want to play, punks?
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429. The Dragon Style? The Tiger Style?
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430. Come down here, and I'll smash
your glasses. Come on!
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431. You know I'd do it, right?
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432. Swear to it!
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433. Swear!
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434. Have you no respect? Where were you
when I needed you?
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435. You sound like a wimp!
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436. We always get beat!
We haven't gotten anywhere.
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437. No killing, no arson,
no robberies, no rapes...
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438. all because of you!
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439. You're a numb-nut!
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440. Follow me!
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441. It's a stickup! Where's the money?
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442. Where's the money?
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443. What're you looking at? I'm serious!
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444. I kill people for less!
Give me the money.
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445. The money's in here.
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446. Let go of the girl!
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447. He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers!
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448. Go away! You're dragging me down!
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449. Go home and raise pigs.
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450. Go, before I kill you.
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451. You! Whatsyourname!
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452. Take this and get some new clothes.
You're now an Axe!
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453. - For real?
- Someone's waiting for you.
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454. Brother Sum!
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455. One look at you, and I knew
you'd do anything.
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456. Right!
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457. You just needed your chance.
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458. Damn right!
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459. We've an assignment for you.
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460. Anything, Brother Sum!
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461. "Research on abnormal people."
What's that?
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462. A mental asylum.
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463. Soldiers!
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464. Boy Scouts!
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465. Tanks!
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466. No worries.
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467. When the Boy Scouts change shifts,
you have exactly five minutes.
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468. Follow the arrows on the map.
Go to the last cell...
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469. and get the man inside there out.
Here's your tools.
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470. What about you guys?
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471. We're your lookouts.
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472. Five minutes. Hurry!
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473. The world's top killer
indeed looks the part!
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474. It's only a title.
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475. Cut the bullshit. We want two people
killed. Name your price.
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476. Name my what?
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477. I've killed so many trying to find
a worthy adversary.
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478. So far, I've never found one.
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479. That's why I stayed inside.
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480. Had I met my match,
I'd have been out long ago.
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481. If you find me a worthy opponent...
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482. I'll do it for free. No charge!
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483. Do you have someone?
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484. Yes. Brilliant fighters who are
up to the challenge.
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485. But first, will you show us
some moves?
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486. Not that we don't trust you.
We want to see you in action.
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487. You numskulls aren't worthy!
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488. He doesn't look the part.
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489. The slippers are a little crappy.
But he'll clean up well.
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490. You sure you got the right guy?
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491. Absolutely. I swear I did
exactly what you told me.
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492. Please show us some moves,
Mr. Beast. Don't make it hard for me!
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493. You dumb or what?
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494. You know what this is, old man?
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495. Ever seen a fist this big?
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496. Don't force me to fight.
I scare myself when I fight!
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497. Really? Try me, then.
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498. Is he okay?
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499. So you say you can fight?
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500. Harder!
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501. Harder!
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502. Harder!
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503. You hit like that and call yourself
a gangster?
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504. A foreign gun!
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505. In the world of kung fu,
speed defines the winner.
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506. The Beast is the best of them all.
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507. The Axe Gang extends its respect!
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508. The real masters,
together in one room!
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509. Only the world's top killer...
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510. has such an aura.
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511. Likewise.
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512. Could you two be the fated lovers...?
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513. Paris...
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514. and Helen of Troy!
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515. A pleasure, indeed.
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516. We're here to deal
with the Axe Gang...
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517. and only the Axe Gang.
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518. You should've killed me before.
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519. Now you're committing suicide.
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520. You're living on borrowed time.
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521. You can't escape your fate!
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522. What's this? A funeral bell?
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523. With the Beast here,
let's see whose funeral it is!
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524. So you're on their side?
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525. Don't get me wrong.
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526. I only want to kill you...
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527. or be killed by you.
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528. What do you think?
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529. The good cannot coexist with the bad.
You can't escape your destiny.
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530. So be it. Let's do it.
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531. Okay.
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532. Let's do it!
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533. Piece of cake. I can handle this.
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534. Good try, but a little off target.
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535. The Lion's Roar?
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536. Wait!
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537. I didn't know the Lion's Roar
could be done with a speaker!
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538. What a blow!
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539. - Looks like they're not up to it!
- Let's get them while they're down.
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540. You do it!
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541. - I'm gonna puke! I need to see a doctor!
- Go to hell!
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542. You! Come over here.
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543. - Hit him!
- Yes!
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544. - The head!
- Of course!
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545. - Hit him on the head!
- Okay.
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546. - Here's your chance.
- Got it!
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547. - Hit him!
- Hit him!
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548. - Hit the shit out of him!
- Right!
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549. - Hit him!
- Hit him!
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550. Beat the shit out of him!
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551. What're you doing?
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552. You want me to hit him
or beat the shit out of him?
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553. You're making me very confused!
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554. Wow, that's a big fist!
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555. Why did you hit me?
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556. Where are they?
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557. How could you let them escape?
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558. No one gets away from me!
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559. Why did he save us?
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560. Young people make mistakes.
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561. But at least he finally made good.
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562. Look at him! Beaten to a pulp.
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563. Do you have any last requests?
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564. Hey, wait!
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565. Why don't you write in Chinese?
I don't understand.
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566. There's no one here!
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567. CHINESE MEDICINE
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568. It's a miracle he lasted this long.
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569. The herbs should help him.
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570. Herbal medicine can only partly help.
The key is his own body structure.
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571. All his bones and tendons are broken.
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572. It's amazing he's recovering so fast.
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573. It can't be possible...
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574. Unless he's...
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575. What's that smell?
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576. You mustn't smoke while you're hurt.
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577. Let me handle this.
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578. This makes no sense.
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579. Who knew the Beast could clear
the chi flow...
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580. and thus unleash
the boy's true potential?
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581. We should've guessed.
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582. He is the one!
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583. Is this for real?
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584. You're still alive, you turncoat?
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585. Kill him, men!
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586. What kind of move is that?
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587. Kids' stuff!
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588. If our son were alive,
he'd be his age now.
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589. If he studies hard, he could grow up
to be a doctor or lawyer.
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590. A stuntman, more likely!
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591. Not bad. Let's go.
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592. I can even stop bullets—
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593. What? The Toad Style
of the Kwan Lun School?
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594. Oh, no!
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595. Remember the Palm move
that falls from heaven?
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596. That's the long lost Buddhist Palm.
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597. I surrender!
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598. What kind of move was that?
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599. If you want to learn, I'll teach you.
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600. Master!
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601. Hey! Tell him not to put snot
on the glass.
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602. You two, put your pants on!
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603. No licking if you're not buying!
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604. Kid, you have the bone structure
of a kung-fu genius.
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605. World peace is in your hands.
Here's the scroll of the Buddhist Palm.
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606. Because it's fate, I'll let you
have it for $10.
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607. Wait!
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608. You want more...?
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